#STAP IT BRAIN
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someone hit me on the fucking head im thinking about my ex after two years broken up why does my brain do this
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Under the Influence

Sae Itoshi x Reader
Warning: drinking, make out session, suggestive, sa, grinding
A/N: Oh sevens, have mercy on me. Do not tell my brothers.
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Dear Diary,
Something I learned while living with my grandparents, after my parents divorced, was to always reject overbearing gifts three times before accepting. That's gives the human brain enough time to really consider their options - their choices. At least with my grandparents. It's always stuck with me even until now.
Now, I can hold my liquor quite well. Better than most people some people might say.. At least I hold it better than Sae Itoshi.
Not long ago, Sae is officially eighteen years old. Now we're here celebrating his birthday ina club against his wishes. His team dragged him here to celebrate, so he dragged me with him. Sae is a more respectful man, he doesn't drink, and doesn't even glance at drugs. He studies, practices soccer, and goes to the gym. "A model student," some would call him. Bringing him here was just another excuse for them to drink.. Plus it's a twenty percent discount. It's a pretty good deal!
Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it, dolled myself a bit more than usual. Every girl deserves and should feel pretty. Just a tough up here and there. It's my best friend's birthday too! A part of me hopes he'd call me pretty too. He hasn't said it, but... Oh forget it.
"Lil' mama, over here!"
It goes to show, I was attracting the wrong men, sadly. I just walked in and was immediately approached by a group of middle aged men. "I'm here with my friends, sir," I said. He grabbed my waist and let be too the bar. "Oh, I'm sure they'd understand," he waved off. I looked back at the table where Sae and his teammates were waiting for me. They didn't see me yet, but I hoped they'd catch wind and save me. I'm definitely in the wrong shoes for this.
"I'll have a whiskey," he ordered. He looked at me and nodded to the bartender, "Go ahead, doll." You looked over the menu and chose a pricey little drink while giving the bartender a look. He nodded and stared shaking up your drink. "You know how to pick 'em," the man next to you said, "I'm a more old fashioned man myself."
Oh diary, I was so scared. When our drinks came, I took a sip of mine and sighed in relief when I realized the bartender mixed more juice than alcohol, little to none - just enough to calm me down. "What brings you here?" The bartender asked. One by one the men around me answered his question, but by the look on his face, he wanted my answer the most. "My best friend turns eighteen today," I said, "Him and his team are over there waiting for me." They recognized their country's junior soccer team from the counter. "Oh, so go for men in high places?" Another man next to me pondered. He touched my knee and I jolted slightly. I was afraid. "No need to be so eager, sweetheart," he chuckled. I gave a silent plea for the man behind the counter, whom nodded his head, and disappeared from my sight. What was he doing?
"I own one of the more infitely successful companies in Spain," he told me, "I could shower you in diamonds. Jewels that you stare at while window shopping." His slid up to my thigh slowly, stopping at the helm of my dress. The man on my other side played with the stap of my dress. "Would you be my little sugar baby, doll?" What the hell am I supposed to do?! Somebody! I looked around the club and not one person looked sober enough to help me. Anyone! I looked towards Sae's table, my table, and everyone at that table looked completely out of it.
Get me out of here!
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop touching my lady."
Huh?
Stopping my search for any help, Sae and Jordan stood a few steps from me. Jordan, the only other Real Madrid junior player that I could call "my friend." "You her boy toy, shrimp?" Jordan scrunched up his nose, but Saw didn't even flinch. "Yeah, so hand her over," he said nonchalantly, "I don't like you holding her up." Oh. My. God! With the way Jordan was trying not to snicker, I knew my face was red.
It wasn't long before one of the men threw a punch at Jordan. Now a browl broke out between Real Madrid and the middle aged men that flocked around me. "You want another drink, ma'am?" The bartender asked me. I looked at him and scanned over the menu before ordering a drink of my choice. "On the house, sweetie," he told me. "Thank you." I sipped in my drink slowly while the brawl was happening. Sooner or later, the staff would have to break up the fight, but for now.. I'll just watch.
When the fight died down, those men were kicked out and the team stayed for more drinks. This is how I found out that Saw is a lightweight. Best Mid Fielder in the world and he can't hold his alcohol? I'm a little buzzed too, but.. Since when did he become so.. Clingy?
The party died down and I, the designated driver, took everyone home with the van we rented out for road trip games. Oh, if coach ever found out what we were using it for... He'd wonder why we didn't bring him! Oh, but if Sae is a lightweight then coach is the complete opposite of that. The tab would've been doubled.
Pulling up to the school, me and Sae switched cars so that I found drop him off then head straight home. One thing is for sure, I'm never letting Sae drink again. "You can put the seat back, Sae," I said. He complied, but now he was staring at me. "Can you hold my hand?" He asked me. I glanced at him then focused back on the road. Wordlessly, I gently held his hand and relaxed feeling his warm hands - slightly warmer because of the alcohol.
One hand on the wheel, I parallel parked my car in front of his drive way. Turning off my engine, I said, "Okay, we're here." I looked to my little passenger prince and into those dangerously teal eyes. Was he watching me this whole time? "Hard not to," he said, "Your pretty when you concentrate on something. Did I ever tell you that?" Did I say that out loud? Shit. He fixed up his chair to sit up right. Never once did he look away from me though.
He let go of my hand and used it to trace my jaw instead. I shivered under his feather like touch. Eye contact is a dangerous thing with Sae: It's like he was Jafar and could hypnotize me into submission - not too far off actually. Still... He's never looked at me this way before.
Looking at him more closely, I'm reminded that my best friend is drunk and has no idea what he's doing. I cleared my throat and gently pushed his hand down. "You're drunk, Sae," I told him. As much as this hurts, rejecting his touch, I couldn't let him do this to himself - to me.
I open my car door and get out as fast as I could. Once I close the door, I take deep breaths to calm myself down. "What the hell was that?" I whispered. This wouldn't be good for my conscience. Whatever it was - whatever I was feeling - whatever he was feeling.. "I'm blaming it on the booze," I muttered.
I took the keys and unlocked his house door, only now realizing that the birthday boy isn't with me. I'm reminded that my passenger prince can't open his door on the inside and came back. I looked through the window to see him nodding off slightly and giggled. I opened up the door and peeked my head in. "Sorry about that," I said, "C'mon, I'll help you to bed."
I reached out my hand and yelped when I was suddenly pulling into the car. Landing face first into his chest, the door was pulled shut, and the recliner pushed back. I gasped and scrambled to get up. "Where you going?" Saw asked. There was something different about his tone. I froze and looked down at him. His legs were open as far apart as the car would let him. "Come here," he beckoned, patting his lap expectingly. I gulped, but complied.
"Sae, bestie, you're drunk," I told him. He nodded and nuzzled his head into my neck. I'm sure he can feel my pulse, the shiver I felt when I felt his breath on my neck, the goosebumps I felt when his arms trapped me to him. "I know," he assured.
One
"It's me, Sae," I told him, "It's me, Y/n, your best friend." His breath became shakey and he kissed the pulse on my neck. "I know, Y/n," he answered back.
Two
"You're gonna regret this in the morning," I warned him. He shook his head and trailed kisses up my neck, to my cheek and kissed the tip of my nose. "I won't," he said. My breath shook, before I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Three
I let it escape me like broken dam that's been slowly coming down after so long. I finally kiss him. I could taste the Hennessey on his tongue, just as sure he could taste the Rum off of mine. His lips were soft, everything I imagined. "Fuck, Y/n," he groaned. Oh, shit.
My last bit of restraint left me and mounted his lap like I would a horse. I kissed him with ever bit of desire I held for him. I opened my eyes, but his were closed. I sighed in disappointment. I would've loved to look into his eyes right now too. Closing them again, I instead focused on the hands that started to roam my body. I returned the favor.
Reluctantly, I broke the kiss to come up for air. I would've loved to drown in him longer, but I didn't want to overwhelm him. No, not when I finally get to kiss him after all this time. I precked his lips, then his cheek, his jaw, all the way down to his collar bone. His breath was heavy, and I reveled in ever second. Searching his neck for that one spot, once he let out a moan, I attacked it desperately. "Make that sound again," I whispered. He called for me among his curses. Oh, fuck I'm a goner.
When his hands made their way to my ass, I knew it was over for me. Giving a squeeze, my breath shallowed and I suppressed a moan. Noticing this, he did it again until he was playing with it as if it was play doh. My dress hiked up a bit, but I could care less. Especially when the tormentor of my dreams is right under me.
What other sounds could he make? His lustful gaze filled me with determination. I fully sat down on his growing buldge and circled my hips slightly. His breath hitched, a loud moan came from him, eyes blown wide. "There's those pretty eyes," I muttered. I grinded down on him, my hand cupping his face as if he was fine China. "So handsome," I whispered. Perhaps he heard me the first time, because now be fought to keep his eyes open. Never once looking away from me. Oh if only he knew what he did to me. Or maybe he did?
One hand on my ass and the other on my hip, he helped guide my hips on him, grinding up to meet me half way too. A shakey moan leaves my lips before I could stop it. Hes kissing me again, only this time, he's looking me in the eyes while doing so. A man could offer me millions of diamonds, but all I'd care about are the ones watching me right now. Looking at me with a hunger I'd only ever fantasize about. Such precious jewels and right now they were all mine. "All yours," he whispered to me. "Oh my god." I said that out loud too!? "All fucking yours," he said again, planting kisses on my neck. There would most likely be marks in the morning, what a hassle. "Always been," he whispered in my ear, grinding us closer together. I moaned at the sensation.
Maybe the Vodka hit me harder than I thought. Because now I'm most likely soaked down there. Sae would never say that to any girl who showed interest. I've seen it may times before: The love struck fan confesses her love, but Sae doesn't even spare them a glance. Now I'm imagining he'd declare himself all for myself? But I wish that was so. So I'll believe he ment to say that for now.
"F-fuck, right there," I whimpered. My hips feverishly grinding down where his buldge hit the spot just right. Over and over and over again. "S-Sae," I whimpered. He finally left my neck alone, helping me reach my high, kissing my lips like he would in my dreams. "C'mon, babe," he told me, "私のために兼. (Watashi no tame ni ken.)" Oh, f-u-uck. That's it.
Riding out the high of the moment, Sae let out a loud groan. Looking down at his lap, I gasped when I saw the mess we made. I saw the creamy white slowly trying to escape from his pants. I let out a shakey moan and tried to get off him. He held me in place, though.
"Thank you," he whispered into my hair, "I love you." My heart skipped a beat. "I love you," I said without thinking. It was only when his arms tightened around me did I realize what I had done. "Oh no," I thought out loud, "Oh no no no no no." I got up, rolled the window down, reached my hand out and opened the door from the outside. Was he fucking serious.
Getting out of the car, I fixed my dress and helped Sae out of the car. He looked confused and I wouldn't blame him: I was too. Locking my car, I helped into his house and to his room.
I took off his shoes and changed him out of his dirty sweaty clothes. He'll thank me later. Since it's his first time drinking, he'll know the horrors of waking up and smelling like shit, but at least he'll be in fresh clothes and not in the ones that already probably smell like shit and would get worse the longer he waits til the morning. My breath hitched when I saw his cum soaked underwear. It didn't help that Sae looked like he was studying my reactions.
Once he closed his eyes I finally let myself sober up and pace his room. "Why the fuck did you do that!? Bad, Y/n. Don't you know how much he trusts you?" I quietly scolded myself, "I'm such a bitch. I couldn't even keep my hands to myself! Taking advantage of your crush when he's drunk is the dumbest and shitiest thing I could've ever done." I ran my fingers through my hair and looked down at Sae, who was sleeping peacefully in his bed.
"Look at you," I whispered, "Sleeping peacefully while I'm left to ponder what the fuck I'm supposed to do now." I looked at the blanket over him and fixed it better so that he could feel more comfortable. I looked at the AC and turned it down a bit, making it colder, so that I would be less sweaty in the morning. "Why must you torture me so much? Don't you know how much I love you, soccer genius?" I laughed slightly, "Pfft- "I love you" my ass... Wish you were sober though." I sighed softly. Took his shoes and left the room.
He'd forget it all in the morning.
I'm never letting him drink again. It's bad for my heart.

Oh my.. What have I done? Anyways, that's progress.. Maybe. Now this is getting interesting.
What do you think will happen?
-Levi
#sae itoshi x reader#bllk smut#bllk x reader#bllk#itoshi sae smut#itoshi sae x reader#sae itoshi#itoshi sae#itoshi smut#sae itoshi smut#blue lock x reader#blue lock smut#blue lock#levina's masterlist
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Ultimate Fantasy (Eddie Munson x Reader 18+)

Ever since @raccoonboywrites said about Eddie getting fucked, I could not stop thinking about it. I had other stuff I was working on, but my brain would not rest until I churned out this Eddie pegging fic. So here it is! Enjoy this little bit of filth :)
Word Count:837
Masterlist // Eddie Munson Masterlist
Eddie braced himself on his elbows as he arched his back, raising his hips and presenting his ass up to you. The pale skin of his perfectly peachy cheeks tinted pink from where your hands had squeezed into the plump flesh as you worked him open on your fingers.
Soft whimpers tumbled from his lips as you teased his hole, stretching him on one finger, then two, even three, even going as far to lean close enough to let your tongue drag across the puckered skin, gliding upwards until your tongue meets the seam of his swollen balls.
You had been talking about this for a few days after, Eddie had gotten a little too high one night, and let slip that this was something that was on his ‘ultimate fantasy’ list. Talking through everything that might be a concern or worry, setting a safe word, creating a safe space to explore this new side of your relationship with your boyfriend.
Whilst this had been a suggestion that Eddie had brought to your attention, you can’t lie, the thought of having your boyfriend completely at the mercy of your control sent a chill of excitement down your spine.
And all of that brings you to where you are now. Pressed up behind Eddie, perched on your knees, with the material of the staps biting into the soft skin of your thighs. A generous amount of lube spread over his ass and the fake cock strapped to the harness.
Your hand skims across the flat of his back, a gentle reminder of how much you love him.
“You ready, Eds?”
“I think so?”
With your hand wrapped around the base of the dildo, you slowly push your hips forward, guiding the length towards his hole. The head pops in and you still your movements for a moment to check in with him when you hear the little breathy gasp that he lets out.
“Are you okay?”
“Want you to keep going, please. I promise I can take it, I just wanna feel it.”
Your hips keep slowly moving forward, sliding into him inch by inch until you’re fully seated deep inside him. The groan that rumbles in the back of his throat is enough to make your cunt throb with arousal. Not yet, this wasn’t about you, this was about Eddie.
“How’s that feel baby?” you coo.
““Feels like I can feel you all the way in my fuckin’ guts.” he shudders
“I’ll take that as a good thing?”
“Yeah, fuck, yeah definitely a good thing.” his low breathy laugh comes.
“I’m going to start moving now, okay baby?” you tell him, your voice as sweet as syrup.
“Please.”
That’s all you need to hear from him before you’re drawing your hips back until just the tip remains, and thrusting forward. Fucking into him with gentle, controlled thrusts. Eddie’s soft whines turn into fully unabashed moans as your movements pick up, pounding into his tight hole with heavy thrusts.
His poor needy cock hangs heavy between his thighs, flushed with need and steadily dripping with pearlescent arousal.
Your hands grip his hips for more leverage as you continue to bury yourself in him. Squeezing the soft flesh under your fingertips in an almost bruising grip.
The drag of your cock inside him was unlike anything Eddie could have ever anticipated, but now he’d had just a taste of the pleasure, he knew this was something that he would never be able to be without.
“Touch me please..” he whines, even surprising himself at the needy tone of his voice.
“But, I am touching you, baby” you tease, punctuating your point with a particularly pounding thrust.
“M-my cock..please..ah..it hurts..” he grits through his teeth.
Good boy, remembering his manners. Your hand reaches around his slim hips, down to where his poor neglected cock hung hot and heavy between his thighs. Veins throbbing under your touch as you coast your fist up and down his length. With every thrust of your cock pushing into him, he was jerking forward into your fist, desperately in search of his release.
You could tell he was getting close, his skin was blooming scarlet, intricate inky tattoos sitting on flushed, sweat-drenched skin. He was arching into your every move. Despite not being able to see him from this angle, you were almost willing to bet that those pretty chocolate brown eyes were rolling back as he shuddered with need.
It didn’t take very much more than a few well-angled thrusts, the head of your cock pounding against his prostate, and your slick fist working over him before he was coming with a deep growling moan spilling from his lips. Rope after rope of dripping white spurting from his tip, glazing your knuckles and the sheets below.
As the pretty moans died on his tongue, you could only hope that this was the first of many times where Eddie would only too happily bend to your will in the name of pleasure.
@penguinsandpotterheads @paybacksawitch @aphrogeneias @mrsjellymunson @eddiesxangel @onegirlmanytales
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GOD THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO YOUR TOBY. Idk how the fuck I would pull it off considering he's like a foot taller than me but what I wouldn't give to have him tied up in my bed and watch him snap at me and try to wriggle out and dom me until his ego turns to mush once he's getting jabbed in the prostate with my stap so hard he can't even form a proper sentence, poor boys probably never had a prostate orgasm before. I won't stop until he's drooling and his pretty tummy hair is full of cum since he's missed out for so long he needs to make up for lost time ♡. Then once he's overstimulated and shaking and whining like a dog I'd finally give him my boycunt and milk out the last few loads he has left but once he thinks he's done I'd sit on his face and smother him with my fat thighs and scroll through my phone like it's nothing while he licks his own cum out of my boycunt and his brain is so fucked out and foggy he might even start liking it. Then I'd finally untie him and take a little cat nap on his chest, his limbs turned to jelly a long time ago so I won't have to worry about him moving so I can get nice and comfy ^u^.
- zomb anon
@cryptidcircusco
do you see this. i’m going feral omg
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Multi-May: Unexpected, But Not Unwelcomed (chapter 2)
This needed another chapter. Once again, for @bisexual-horror-fan 's Multi-May!
B3 (Bo & Bonnie & Baby) go for round two.
(also readable on AO3)

Bo chuckled lecherously to himself as he watched Baby adjust the harness of the strap-on and give the attached dildo a flick.
This had night had already taken a surprising and thrilling turn, and now it was about to get even better.
After a good fuck in the truck bed, Baby had inquired about a "round two", apparently still eager to play with him and the wifey. Bonnie had looked at him expectantly, pleadingly, and how could he have said no? Especially after such a good round one?
So, he and Bonnie had driven back home, Baby in tow between them, and Bonnie had led the way down to Bo's special "play room" under the gas station; despite being one of the family now, it was still Bonnie's favourite place to "have fun" like this.
Baby had approved of this, taking it all in, and nodded at the mattress, camera, and TV setup. "How about we put on a little show, so you two won't forget me?"
As if they ever could, after tonight.
Bo reached down to slowly stroke his cock as he watched Baby grab a handful of Bonnie's hair and pull her into a deep, tongue-filled kiss. He noticed, after they pulled away from each other, that the look in Bonnie's eyes—glazed over, half shining with excitement—was the same look she got with him. He had a mind to be jealous of that...but not jealous enough to put a stop to the evening. No, if anything, he was just jealous enough to be a bit mean, rough, and competitive tonight. A little extra edge to an already fun affair.
Bonnie climbed up onto the mattress, getting on all fours, and shook her bare ass at the camera. She didn't even have to be told, she was so used to this. And eager.
"You ready, sweet cheeks?" Baby asked, giving Bonnie's ass a good smack, making said cheeks jiggle.
"Yes!" Bonnie practically yelled, already dripping wet and eager for more fun.
"Good girl," Baby purred, and Bo could have sworn that he saw his wife's brain short circuit at that. His little slut did love praise.
Bo sucked in a breath as he watched Baby position herself behind Bonnie, lining up the tip of the stap-on with her swollen, wet entrance. She took a moment to tease Bonnie, earning an impatient whine, then slid in to the hilt. Bonnie let out a soft little gasp and bit her lip, already looking blissed out
It made Bo even harder.
He stepped up to the mattress, opposite of Baby, and reached down to run his thumb over Bonnie's lips.
"Ready, babygirl?" he asked, cock twitching in anticipation.
"Yes, Daddy."
Shit. Hearing her say that—and in such a breathy, needy tone—was always music to his ears. This time was no exception.
"Good girl." He straightened up, aligned the head of his cock with Bonnie's lips, then slowly pushed himself into her mouth, revelling in the soft little noises she made around his shaft.
He buried himself to the hilt, balls at her chin, then took a moment to appreciate the view on the TV screen; his lovely, eager, submissive little wife, getting spit-roasted by him and the hot chick from the bar. He knew he'd be watching this over and over, reliving it while ploughing Bonnie on his own.
For right now, though, he was going to live in the moment and enjoy this, for all it was worth
He pulled out of Bonnie's mouth momentarily. "Smile for the camera, honey," he snickered, before sliding back inside his wife's waiting wet mouth.
After a few minutes of thrusting, Bo and Baby found a good, mutual rhythm, one that made Bonnie squeal like a piglet as they both stuffed her full.
He was so glad he and Bonnie went out tonight.
#bo sinclair#bo sinclair fanfiction#baby firefly#baby firefly fanfiction#multi-may#multi-may 2025#multi may#multi may 2025#slasher oc: bonnie#my writing#blank blogs dni
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My brain is trying to slip into Idea Generating Mode so frikkin hard.
SILENCE CREATURE we have so much to do, STAP‼️
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Are you open to experimental resuscitation by any chance? Something like trying to bring you back even though you've been down for a long time and likely brain dead. I'd imagine you hooked up on a ventilator breathing for you and a LUCAS thumper mechanically pumping your chest. Injecting epi and atropine every so often. What do you think about that idea?
Really love this Idea trying everything to try to bring me back despite all the signs showing that I'm too far gone. Bring stapped under a Lucas and a ventilator mechanically forcing my body to not shut down.
Love the ideas
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https://www.tumblr.com/savebylou/752930060715130880/why-is-everyone-so-mad-at-sc-all-of-a-sudden
Do you have a link to the podcast? I look forward to your recap either way!
Saw this comment on TikTok, if that’s true, I don’t even know what to say anymore!! 🤬
“It gets worse, when asked about Liams interview Simon said it was worth it because they were a success and made loads of money”
Hi anon! Yes here is the link on youtube, spotify & apple in the description says the time staps so you can listen the parts you want.
About that quote I haven't listen to the whole podcast yet, the only part I heard related to Liam that the interviewer mentions that he interview Liam and mention his struggles of his changes on his life that they all wish they have that fame but the brain doesn't prepare you for that. But the question was more along the lines their success, about his experience of Simon and his advice to the boys (the questions was kind of weird) but they didn't talk about what Liam deal with as far as I heard. I will mention anything in the recap when I'm done.
He only says is worth the fame even that you lack privacy and deal with paparazzi.
#simon cowell#one direction#liam payne#sorry for the late response i try to explain the quote#ask#anon
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So, I became intruigated with The Amazing Digital Circus ever since the first trailer
And since the pilot came out yesterday...I made an oc
This is Mable. She is an ai who creates the game's art, objects and backgrounds. She also takes care of other things when Caine goes off the grid (so she sorta works as an additional Caine).
She enjoys doing her work and can be extremely fixated on many ideas (Artist Brain 🙃). However, when she does a project she doesn't stop until it's finished (resulting in her estentially locking herself backstage).
Since she's also an ai, her and Caine have a sibling-like relationship (especially when they see each other). So far, the only people who knows about her is Caine, Ragtha and Kinger (She knows others exist, but hasn't seen them) .
And her lil' helper: Stap. Due to Mable constantly working behind the scenes, Caine gave her Stap so she wouldn't be lonely. He only barks, so Mable made him a collar that allowed him to talk.
He's usually leaves out of backstage to either retrieve something for Mable or walk out of curiosity, however he hides whenever he hears people are coming. (The reason Ragtha found out about Mable was due to finding Stap)
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Wanna hear a funny story about how I have some actual trauma that I closely associate with (not caused by) one of Lily Orchard's videos, if you wanna hear it?
I mostly like her stuff, but I cannot watch Snow White the same anymore ever.
Yeah, of course you do
TW for needles, blood, being in pain, panic attacks, asshole nurses, hospitals, and others, probably.
Background context:
Every year in January, I get blood tests done with the rest of my family. It's the first thing we do when the medical updates each year.
I am not afraid of needles, though I do feel pain easier than most, so I tend to like to keep distractions around me (ex: YouTube videos) to help me keep stone-faced as I don't like crying.
I'm like 98% sure I descovered Lily's videos sometime in mid 2022, and watched them after a month of Legend of Korra is Garbage and Here's Why being the first thing recommended to my on every other video I watched (I was going through a phase of getting back into Avatar after a small She-Ra buzz started fading and I needed something to distract myself from Arcane).
That same year in January was the third time I've ever had a bad experience with a needle in my life up to that point. The nurse was a young guy and didn't know what he was doing, and it left me in some pretty bad pain, that I struggled to shake off as hospitals already make me uncomfortable (liminal space looking ass alchahol scented white buildings), and it kinda cemented an idea that I didn't like them.
Now, I reacted to watching Lily's videos the same way I consume most new media that interests me. I go insane and watch the same shit over and over again, binging everything for like three months, then taking a step back to think about it and take the new media in healthily (damn you ADHD).
This lead to the 2023 blood tests, where I was seated in that stupid fucking hospital cuck chair, waiting for my dad and sibling (Arlo) to finish drawing blood so they could be in the room if something went wrong like it did the previous year (we asked for this, and the first red flag came when the nurse made a comment about me being scared of needles at my age. I wasn't yet, but it was some foreshadowing of her bitchyness I chose to ignore and now regret).
I figured to pass some anxiety, I'd watch one of the YouTube videos I downloaded for cases like this: Show White's in a minute video (along with the rest of the Disney ones in a playlist because they were my brain chew toy of the week).
My dad came in, we were still waiting for Arlo, but the nurse decided just having him there would be enough. I was hit with the sudden appearance of the needle, but kept my cool for a second, until I felt the nurse cutting open a different vein by grazing it and at this point I could feel the panic setting in. And also it FUCKING HURT. My arm was stapped to stop shaking and pop my veins, nurse tried again, and at this point I not only began crying, but Arlo finally came in, and saw I was getting aimlessly stabbed, and suggested I not be.
We took a break and I was layed down on the hospital bed to calm down while the nurse called over a second nurse to help. I paused the video and talked with Arlo a bit to chill, but then kept watching the video when the two nurses came back.
The first nurse made some minor (passive agresses) commentary about it while fondling my arm for a vein, not hearing anything Lily was talking about because I was watching it with wireless earphones in, asking if it was my favourite Disney movie (which it kinda was at the time) (I think ahe just hated how "childish" I was being by crying and thiughg the Disney stuff was part of that) (like I'm only a baby SOMETIMES asshole) but I explained I was watching a YouTube video. You know, talking to try to ignore the fact that I was getting tied to a bed bynthe second nurse at this point.
Then the fucking needle came out again after the small talk was over and I seemed calmer (read: I was not, I'm just good at bullshitting) and they apparently found a good spot.
So now, here I am, fifteen, strapped to a bed by two middle aged ladies who can't find my vein after they JUST HAD IT, complaining about me crying again and calling me a big baby, now trying to find a vein in my HAND (which became my main drawing area this year due to similar complications but with a much more skilled and actually nice nurse, and the back of my hand will continue to be my drawing area unless my wrist opens up a bit) and settled on drawing blood from the side of my wrist, all while Lily fucking Orchard is bitching about Snow White, and Arlo is trying to soothe me while glaring at our dad for doing nothing.
Anyways, I now have panic attacks at the mere mention of drawing blood (yesterday when I was in the ER because we couldn't get a doctor's appointment anywhere else and I am currently dealing with some stomach shit that makes me get heartburn so painful I vomited), and I can't watch her Snow White video (or even the original movie) anymore without becoming deeply uncomfortable and feeling the needles burn in my skin.
It's a shame, I really liked that movie :/
#lily orchard#fun stories with Anthony#probably not fun but it is a story#I'm typing this out at 00:01 while unable to sleep after getting nauseous again
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Honestly it feels tough to describe cause it’s pretty..diverse? Many have different feel, different vibes and styles but i guess that shows how great of a writer you are and that in itself can be A thing to describe it with (like seriously there’s a LOT more to say but my brain is too chaotic to express it in writing and i don’t wanna subject you to my mumbling AND im not a native English speaker so i literally don’t have the words lol). Like some feel so homey and cozy (regardless of if they were angsty or cheerful) others are straight up a stap in the heart (Cards made me cry how dare you).
After every fic of yours that i read im always reminded again and again by how amazing your writing is cause of how you smoothly jump from a genre (?) to another but the quality of the writing/deliverance remains superb. That’s a thing I noticed for a while but what really highlighted it for me is the month themed prompts. (Not to mention Baby, All At Once (This Is Enough) this fic will live with me for the rest of my life. I love her. I think about her all the time. She’s my Roman Empire.)
There’s something else i also wanna mention about your writing but again, limited vocab, idk what to call that :”) They go so deep??? Like they say so much more than what can be seen at the surface and you don’t even have to dig to sense it. It’s like when you see a person and you can tell without talking to them that there’s a lot going on within. Your writing is so Expressive. Alive.
♥️♥️♥️
This was so sweet thank you so much!
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I was thinking again
(...which is dangerous because my brain is dumb dumb)
And I came to the conclusion that I want gojos Infinity. Not because of the whole nobody can beat me, but because of the fact that dude will never get any mosquito bites, bees or wesp cant stap him, which means he could reach into a beehive and get fresh honey. Also, he could hug a bear without issues and the best part of it all. He can never hit his little toe or step on a Lego brick.
I want what he has. 😮💨
#jjk#jujutsukaisen#gojo satoru#thoughts#infinity#gojos technique#mosquitos ate shitty assholes#i dont like summer#bee#bees#beeeeeesssss#honey#i love honey
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loqto "Replication" 2015 + "geo-"2018 + "Reassemble"2024 Japan Experimental, Instrumental, Math-Rock, Post-Rock, Prog Rock
full spotify
https://open.spotify.com/album/5l5Hgf4jsX2l9QF6ndsULs
https://open.spotify.com/album/7C188rpIHcKY8HyGgyiFu6
https://open.spotify.com/album/4iltfZRMdSS1VISS0y5m5Y
loqto "Replication" 2015
When the surprisingly elusive Loqto dropped their first demo in 2013, a small pocket of the internet community’s ears lit up, including mine. It was around that time that Japanese post rock and math rock was an enigma, fronted valiantly by acts like toe, Uchu Conbini and tricot. It is now 2015, and we have established better connectivity with our friends in the Middle North, and it is clear that the Japanese scene is very much alive. So Loqto’s debut album, Replication, couldn’t have come at a better time. Rather than throw angular guitar melodies over 4/4 time, as is the Japanese post rock norm, the Tokyo three piece instead relish in more complex structural ditherings: impetuous tempo changes, stop-start dynamics and wild syncopation (refer to the misleadingly titled closing track, ‘4/4’). The result is a combination of the crisply toned guitar melodies of Mirror with the more frenetic structures of sajjanu and yoso-wa-yoso. Overall, Replication is perhaps everything we’d expect from the contemporary Japanese math rock scene, an idyllic assault on the brain. The colours of the rainbow punching you in the face. You know.....~ Credits Bass – Hironori Kujiraoka Drums – Shuma Yamakaji Guitar – Yoichi Matsuoka Tracklist 1 皕 2:27 2 Stap Sa 1:40 3 90(2) 2:42 4 Ukamau01 4:13 5 C6_H12_O6 2:42 6 Rep(110)%4 2:27 7 4/4 3:11
loqto "geo-"2018
Credits Bass – Hironori Kujiraoka Drums – Kazuya Sakamoto Guitar – Yoichi Matsuoka Tracklist 1 "Gestalt 2:35 2 zerfall" 1:36 3 TAP 2:35 4 wangganyrulu 3:50 5 拍/2 4:07 6 OxFord 3:13 7 araignée 3:03 8 from18 3:25 9 lo7.J- 4:57 10 冂 1:46
loqto "Reassemble"2024
Tracklist scherzo03:13 匸 03:17 +5° 02:49 Ukamau(02)03:30 Duplex 04:20 G 01:46
loqto "Replication" 2015 + "geo-"2018 + "Reassemble"2024 Japan Experimental, Instrumental, Math-Rock, Post-Rock, Prog Rock
https://johnkatsmc5.blogspot.com/2025/01/loqto-replication-2015-geo-2018.html?view=magazine
https://johnkatsmc5.tumblr.com/post/771677274617544704/loqto-replication-2015-geo-2018
#loqto “Replication”#loqto “Reassemble”#loqto “geo-”#japan math rock#japan post rock#japan progressive rock
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brain keeps going "Stap-on, Strap-off" with the clap-on clap-off voice
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Schrijfopdracht 2- onderzoekend schrijven
Een onderzoeksvraag uitdiepen. Schrijf een tekst waarin je laat blijken hoe je die vraag hebt onderzocht en maak gebruik van een aantal bronnen die jij als betrouwbaar beschouwt. Bepaal zelf of je in deze korte tekst tot beantwoording komt, of dat dit nog slechts het begin is van een groter onderzoek.
Geur in de klas
Geur heeft invloed op je gemoedstoestand. Denk maar eens aan een lekker bakje koffie, een plantenbak vol lavendel in het tuincentrum of je lievelingsparfum. Grote kans dat je fijne assignaties hebt bij deze geuren. Zo werkt het (soms helaas) ook de andere kant op, denk nu maar eens aan een smerig tankstation wc hokje, of de zweetlucht in de sportschool…
Het waarnemen van geur
Ruiken doe je niet alleen met je neus, maar vooral met je brein. Deze reguleert en herinnert ze, zo ontstaan de associaties met verschillende geuren. Deze kunnen prettig zijn, onprettig, een herinnering oproepen of afschuw. Dit gebeurt met het limbisch brein volgens onderzoek van Charlotte Labee. (1) Je reptielen brein is gefocust op overleven. Zo komt het voor dat het water je in de mond loopt bij de geur van de warme bakker (voedsel), en je alert wordt bij de geur van brand (mogelijk gevaar). Labee vervolgt dat de hersengolven in het brein veranderen zodra onze zintuigen een geur waarnemen, dit zorgt voor grote invloed op onze brein processen en daarmee ons gevoel, gedrag en handelen.
Geur en gemoedstoestand
Er zijn verschillende onderzoeken gedaan naar de combinatie van geur en gemoedstoestand. Zo werkt de geur van lavendelolie rustgevend. Het verlaagd zichtbaar de bloeddruk en hartslag volgens Winai Sayorwan e.a. (2) Daarentegen werkt citroenolie tegen stress en ervaren we de geur van mandarijn als opwekkend (Beekwilder J. 2014). (3)
Er is ook onderzoek gedaan naar geuren die helpen bij studeren. Een groep Duitse wetenschappers lieten een groep leerlingen woordjes leren terwijl er rozengeur werd verspreid. Tijdens hun slaap stond ditzelfde geurtje naast hun bed. De leerlingen die sliepen met de rozengeur bleken de woorden beter te hebben onthouden dan de andere leerlingen die zonder rozengeur sliepen. (5) Later is te lezen dat de geur die je tijdens het leren ruikt niet uitmaakt, het zou ook kunnen werken met onaangename geuren.
Geuren die helpen bij concentratie zijn o.a. pepermunt en eucalyptus. Deze bevorderen de energie en alertheid. Total office concepts raad al aan om deze geur in te zetten in kantoortuinen om de concentratie te verbeteren. (6) Maar kunnen we deze kennis ook gebruiken in het leerklimaat in de klas? Want hier hebben we ook behoefte aan concentratie, harmonie en een opgewekte energie.
Geur in de praktijk
Ik ben benieuwd hoe we dit in de praktijk kunnen toepassen. Kunnen we werken met etherische oliën tijdens de rekenles? Of zetten we dit in door in de pauzes allemaal mandarijntjes te pellen en te eten (tegelijkertijd ook gezond)? Hoe zouden we de voordelen die geur met zich meebrengt kunnen inzetten bij het verbeteren van het leerklimaat in de klas? docentenbijscholing.nl heeft verschillende vormen gevonden om geur in het leerklimaat te betrekken, dit is nog niet wetenschappelijk onderzocht maar zeker een stap in de goede richting. Zo wordt er gedacht aan het feit dat geuren kunnen bijdragen aan de impact van een gebeurtenis of culturele verschillen waargenomen kunnen worden door bijvoorbeeld verschillende kruiden te kunnen laten ruiken. (7)
Naar mijn mening kunnen we voor we allemaal vormen verzinnen om met geur te werken, eerst de verschillende effecten onderzoeken en daarna hiermee aan de slag.
Labee, C. (z.d.). Wat doen geuren met ons brein?. charlottelabee.nl https://charlottelabee.com/wat-doen-geuren-met-ons-brein/ (geraadpleegd op 12-10-2024)
(2) College of Public Health Sciences, Chulalongkorn University, Bangkok, Thailand. (2012) The effects of lavender oil inhalation on emotional states, autonomic nervous system, and brain electrical activity. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22612017/ (geraadpleegd op 12-10-2024)
(3) Beekwilder, J. (2014). De geur van mandarijnen heeft een opwekkend effect. https://library.wur.nl/WebQuery/wurpubs/489847 (geraadpleegd op 12-10-2024)
(5) Neimeijer, J. (z.d.) Geuren helpen bij studeren. https://www.psychologiemagazine.nl/artikel/geuren-helpen-bij-het-studeren/ (geraadpleegd op 12-10-2024)
(6) Total Office Concepts. (04-05-2017) Natuurlijk geur op kantoor. https://www.totalofficeconcepts.nl/natuurlijke-geur-op-kantoor-8-manieren-om-prettiger-werken/ (geraadpleegd op 12-10-2024)
(7) docentenbijscholing (z.d.) Gebruik geuren in de klas: geschiedenis. https://www.docentenbijscholing.nl/gebruik-geuren-in-de-klas-geschiedenis/ (geraadpleegd op 12-10-2024)
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'Impudent, idiotic '
The chains crack under his hand. He takes in a deep breath before finally smashing them. He begins to deepen and slow down his breathing concentrate better.
All the different informants were from the same organisation Ra's was infiltrating. To think a blundering buffoon would even use a brain cell let alone think of this plan should have been expected.
To think this is why his daughter's beloved kept on repeating, "expect the unexpected," like a broken record.
As expected of him. Only those worthy of her martial love would be of this level.
He stopped breathing, straining his ears while grabbing for the sharpest object in the room.
The hairs on his neck rises, screams of confusions fill the hall outside his cell.
The room's temperature does not change yet it was as if he was thrown into an ocean of ice. Sweat decorates his face as another scream rattles of the walls before a sound of a body dropping.
The sounds of something big scratching metal echo before another body falls.
There are no sounds of footsteps, only the repetitive screaming "I didn't mean to" and shattering glass echoing and echoing.
A warm breath comes over his shoulder.
He staps the wall behind him, the feeling of being watched remaining.
The door bangs once, twice, then falls over.
And from the darkness, a head rolls towards him.
The head of...that blundering buffoon.
Ra's removed his eyes from the head and to the door. A single eye shines through the abyss.
It illuminates the half of the face looking at him curiously, strands of red vibrant hair fallen over their eye.
Ah...
Slowly but confidently and putting all injuries visible away from their sight Ra's strides over to the head, inspecting it as if it were the greatest prize before nodding.
Ra's whispers to himself, complementing the sharpness and precision of the decapitation. He turns it to face him and chuckles.
Was it a death of decapitation or fear?
Ra's looks back at their eye, finding a smile barely stopping from touching the eye and wide enough to cover what he assumes is a neck.
Slowly Ra's tries to take a step forward only for their smile to branch crackes. As if the universe forced porcelain to move without joints, they frown.
Ra's turns on instinct to the sound of scratching metal behind him before snapping back to the eye, the abyss did not stare back.
He refused to turn until an hour had past. Once he did, his sword welcomed him.
With a medkit.
----------
It follows him again.
That familiar feeling of being stalked by a phantom.
He pushes down the memories of friends hunting him.
Vandal strides forward through the bushes after hearing an animal screeching. A trap must've gone off.
The sun is slowly setting, if he manages to catch a deer he'll be able to take tomorrow off, maybe give some time for his wounds to heal.
Unfortunately, that would not be happening. He only caught a rabbit. He should try to find some medical herbs along his way.
He holds himself up against a tree, trying to regain his breath from the poison swimming through his veins. All his communicators are broken beyond fixing and the nearest base over 15 kilometres away.
He sighs, the familiar vibration sounding off around him. His friends had always speed up their purring whenever he'd gotten injured.
He tries to push that down too.
No use mentally hurting himself over something that happened ages ago.
Laughter and giggling comes from behind him. He could almost hear his voice again.
Though...
Vandal slowly turns to look behind him.
His eyes flicker from one spot to another. He tries to follow the sound of laughter before realising it was ringing in his own head. He swallows.
"That's enough, I'm injured as you can see. Poison!" Desperately shaking the ever increasing memories out of his head, he stumbled.
And everything stopped, his eyes became sharper and he followed the low chanting.
There.
A child with red vibrant hair stares at him, giggling into their fist. With how bright and contrasting the child is compared to the forest, he wonders how he missed them.
He tilts his head, trying to get a better look without moving only for the child to copy him.
Their eyes look just like theirs. So different for the individual but unnerving all the same.
But it couldn't be, could it?
Vandal lost against the madman and his family payed the price.
Family...
Many of their species were wanderers, nomads. Could there been a survival? A child of A hybrid even? Would that be possible? The madman overpowered them and him, there wouldn't be any left- he himself checked for years!
The child copies his face and he chastises himself for showing his turmoil. The child replies by forming their mouth into an 'o' then hiding behind a tree.
They then reappear leaning from behind a farther tree. They point at him before twisting their fingers toward themselves.
They hide behind the tree before reappear ing farther than before.
Whispers of fae warning blare in his mind, but follows anyway.
------
Pspsps @phantom00maverick
Dp x dc promt
The clattering of glass rang in his ears once more after Bruce Wayne made another toast for increasing funds for another charity event. It was fun really, Clark doesn't get enough chances to tease his friends without being interrupted by the villian of the weak.
He chuckles as Bruce fails at slipping another flirting remark to the tall and muscler "power couple" (look at him using slang) sandwiching him. Clark knows that if Diana found out she'll try to rope him into doing the same to Bruce.
He looks over the different plates to feast on while tuning in to Bruce's ever increasing heart beat knowing that he'll have something to hold over him.
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba?
Ba,dum pur dum ba,puuuurrrr, bababa-dum-ba dum-ba, ......, ba-dam
What the?
Wait, is there an-
BA-DUNDUM, DUAM, .....,BA-DUM
It's getting closer. But who, why are they here? Should he make Bruce aware of, something pulls on his pants.
He looks down, the heart beat pinpointed to a child.
The hairs on his nape stand.
Blood drips all over their face, blue eyes overlaping and changing to something. Slit pupils overlapping with round ones.
"Kal-el?"
His heart falls.
The child smiles, sharp fangs glittering.
"You're afraid of hurting your friend's, human and not, aren't you?"
He goes to speak, only for his voice to vanish.
His mouth is moving, his voice sings in his ears.
But he's not voluntary moving.
He's not, he's not in-
"You're stuck fearing for the worst whenever you're not in control. I understand. Won't you tell me more?"
He tries to listen to Bruce's heart beat but his owns deafening him.
"You don't feel like you fit in, too far from your birth planet, too close to the strength that it destroyed it."
He needs to move, he can't, don't think of anyone , don't think of anythin- focus on moving.
"Why don't you talk more? You'll feel a lot better if you do. They , Kents, your favorite lady reporter, Bruce, your coworkers, all would tell you they're proud of you."
His head snaps to the right and there are no suits or dresses or rich people in sight. The metal chair creaks under him as he realises that his head in his hands. He feels the wetness on his cheeks.
He hears the chatter of teenagers around him.
The blood red hair flows-no it covers the table, branching yet not tangling with every flickers that he swears, he swears , is moving.
That his eyes aren't lying when the shadows don't match the girl.
He's in a restaurant. Her eyes glow with hunger and satisfaction.
"You've been so strong for so long, it's time for you to break down. And rest."
His shoulders falls, his body sags with relief as his mind fills with nothing but bliss. He feels lighter. Weight lifted off his shoulders.
His eyes open, the covers fall of his body.
He hears weeping.
The light barely flows in underneath the door.
He open it.
Bruce is holding onto his family on the floor.
The weeping is louder, Bruce is holding a hand out, beckoning him to join them.
They're missing four months from their memories.
----------------------------
We don't talk enough about cryptic jazz.
We don't hear much about her being bullied when she was the Fenton freak, maybe there was a reason not to.
@stealingyourbones @phantom00maverick
@jackpoompkin
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