#SORRY i didn't get into the actual what would happen part
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By actively making posts that put people down and make a public space feel unsafe, unwelcoming or not open/accepting of someone, you are doing the exact same things they are. If it's bad when they do it, it's bad when you do it. It's not a one-way street. You are being just as bad as they are.
I completely agree that we don't owe them Respect. They didn't show us any. I do, though, wholeheartedly believe that there isn't a single person ever who doesn't deserve basic human decency. That includes feeling safe in spaces that are open to literally any and everyone. And yea sure, most aren't helping, but what about the ones who are at least trying? what about the trump voters who are donating to trans health donation centers? or the trump voters who didn't get a say (for personal safety or other reasons) or were spoonfed misinformation, who are trying to right things now? Do they not count for something?
I'm also not saying we have to coddle anyone. I'm saying if we could stop making public spaces unsafe for some people, regardless if you like, love, hate or despise them, that would be just peachy. These spaces are where some people go to escape other oppressive forces, don't add to the list of people they have to avoid. Actually, in fact, don't coddle them. That won't help. What won't help either though, is isolating them. If we isolate people, we do the same thing as the people you are so against. You are being just as bad as they are.
Not every person who voted againt Harris is a bad person. I apoligize if this fact is upsetting to you. Some trump voters, as touched on ealier, weren't in a position where they could vote how they wanted to. I am well aware that this is a very hard subject to come to terms with. Not everyone has to see things like abuse or manipulation first hand but that doesn't mean it isn't a real thing that actively affects choices and decisions. Sometimes the only thing they could do to avoid voting for Trump, was to withhold from voting or vote third party. They didn't get a choice so why make them feel worse about it.
It's been made more than clear that these are the consequences of what happened at the election. Not only has it been spelt out for everone, their dead grandma, and their pet fish, but it's been spoonfed to each and every one of them. Repeating the same things over and over and over again only make people sick of listening to you. They'll see and hear how upset you and everyone are regardless
As for standing up for what's important to me, Unity has to be pretty high on my list. Sorry if my standing behind that ideal upsets you. Change isn't gonna happen if you stand alone, acting as if the entire world is against you. Rome wasn't built by a single person, just as it wasn't built in a single day. You need to have people in your corner.
As you said, Change doesn't magically happen. People work for each and every change that has happened, big or small. Shaming and tearing people down doesn't have to be a part of that work. I'm not saying shaming people won't get the results you so desperately want, I'm saying that there are much better ways of getting people to realize they are wrong and/or need to change than making public spaces an unsafe space to be and to make people feel worse about themselves than they already do.
It wasn't just this particular post that was the issue, but the fact that no matter how many political opinions and posts I ignored completely and scrolled past, posts like these still showed up on my dash. My passion is my compassion and ability to care for everyone. I'd much rather live in a world where every single living thing feels safe, at least in my presence, than getting into silly arguments with random strangers on Tumblr dot com. Responses like these are not only condescending, they actively miss the entire point I was making.
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transcript + more info
berenice: aha! she'll never find me here watcher: you mean 'here'? "in moonwood mill, my most favouritist of worlds 'here'?" berenice: ahhhh! i mean, i didn't do it? i've been framed. it was the full autonomy, i swear... watcher: did you just sign up for deanna's bachelorette? berenice: maybe... yes? watcher: do you even *like* other women? berenice: i like other women! i have other women... friends?? watcher: *SIGH* watcher: berenice, this kind of stuff just doesn't happen in real life berenice: what kind of stuff? watcher: he will never like you back like that berenice: he? who's he??? watcher: don't be obtuse, i can see your moodlets berenice: well this isn't real life because i'm a pixel! silly you, watcher...
BERENICE "BERNIE" SMALLS
Young Adult • Ciswoman (she/her) • Physics Major (incoming senior)
TRAITS: genius, overachiever, cringe, paranoid, socially awkward, creative (bonuses: mentally gifted, always welcome, morning sim, night sim, storm chaser)
MISC: Valedictorian and championship chess captain at Copperdale. Actually wants to catch lightning in a bottle someday.
(This is a mischief interaction. She's not evil - just a disaster.)
By day she’s a straight A student, freelance programmer and budding Plopsy empire builder - and a shoe-in for valedictorian to the point where most would happily bet their own mother’s mortgage on it (yeah, please don’t actually do that).
By night, however? A cheater cheater pumpkin eater! Well, not quite (the pumpkin eating allegations however are indeed true).
Her secret? She’s a spellcaster. Her other secret? Plentiful needs potions - and lots of ‘em.
Yes, you too could manage the highest GPA in the school plus every extracurricular that didn't throw you out on your rear end (she and that dungeon master still aren’t on speaking terms), tutoring, plus a fulltime job and another part-time job, had you the equivalent of 24 usable hours in every day.
Obviously this isn’t illegal, as the greater pixel world doesn’t know about spellcasters (see: my legacy heir who still freaks out over her spellcaster husband, brother and her three children). And there’s nothing stopping anyone from washing down caffeine pills with red bull that doesn’t actually give you wings (though Berenice could attempt a potion for that). Aaaand it could be argued that werewolves who can recharge extremely quickly with a wolf nap and vampires who don’t need to sleep at all should not occult their way through Foxbury's hallowed halls.
But there’s a difference between being thought of as just that amazing, and being thought of as significantly less amazing, because any fool believes that they can achieve what Berenice does with all that extra time she has.
Why is she entering this competition? A very good question. Well, it may be called ‘Dating Deanna,’ but this dumb smart girl has a completely different York in mind. Namely Deanna’s brother Joey, who she’s had a massive crush on ever since she met him one summer holiday in Tartosa.
"I've got this!" "I don't got this..."
She therefore signed up on a whim, and while hindsight is currently coming down on her like a tonne of bricks, she’s too obstinate to pull out now. Bernie Smalls, quit a thing? Never!
PERMISSIONS
All in - feel free to message me!
In terms of romance with other contestants, as she's a 'troll' concept have at it. Maybe not woohoo though since she's still trying to determine her sexuality.
She would be very open to flirting - and well, anything else with Joey. Will she get the opportunity? I highly doubt it but this experience can be a moment of growth for her 😆
(iou a sfs zip after dinner and other adulting!)
@changingplumbob's dating deanna bachelorette challenge (i am so sorry deanna)
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okay disjointed thoughts about the wicked movie 1 day after watching it lets go
-first of all, my movie theater put speakers outside and was just blasting the entire soundtrack on repeat. we could hear it down the street as we were driving up. that's just simply insane
-the opening establishing shots of the land were great but honestly. the very clearly animated dorothy and gang really annoyed me lmfao like I'm sorry it cannot have possibly been too hard to get a few extras to stand in front of a screen for point 5 seconds lol. it was so fast that I Know I'm being dramatic about it but they looked more cartoon than the flying monkey's did
-baby elphie and baby nessa are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life...
-I kinda...like the more human/animal hybrids that the stage show and the original movie had. sorry. like I Get they were only like that bc you can't make a real life goat sing and dance but they're just more interesting to look at than normal-looking animals who happen to talk!
-jeff goldblum's face being hidden every time he had a dance number...I have a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't really dancing lmfao
-whoever decided to bleach ariana's eyebrows deserves jail time
-when jonathan bailey first showed up on screen my mother leaned over to me and whispered 'he's HANDSOME...'
-when cynthia finished the 'wizard and I' I had to actually stop myself from applauding. it felt so weird and rude for there to be dead silence after that performance my GOD.
-also omg the part where she's singing about the wizard de-green-ifying her and the colors in the suncatchers were canceling out the green so she looked normal....inspired!
-madame morrible had these HUGE crystal ball looking rings and I just want them so much lmao
-glinda's friends were really funny the bit were she was like 'I need to lie down' and they immediately picked her up like a plank of wood and carried her off while the one was screaming 'WE NEED A PASTRY!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED A PASTRY!!!' had me cackling
-I wish there was more time between them moving in and 'what is this feeling' starting? like I wanted more time to see them bickering and then also more time seeing them getting along after the ball??
-'dancing through life' was BEAUTIFUL however two complaints 1) why would they cut the line 'what's the most swankified place around?' I Quote That Often and 2) at the end when glinda and elphie dance together like...it's beautiful and everything but from what I remember after their solo moment fieryo joins them?? and they have a cute three way dance moment??? and I'm very pro "they're all in love with each other" so I missed that lol
-also just in general would of liked to see more of fieryo with the girls! like it felt like ball->lion cub->emerald city, in the course of a couple days, and idk I just feel like they could have slowed it down a bit?? especially since they broke it into two movies?? like I don't think that Actually all happened in the span of a week, but they didn't do a good enough job establishing how much time was passing so it Felt like it. which is dumb bc then it just doesn't seem realistic that elphie and glinda are THAT attached to each other by defying gravity like it feels like not enough time has passed for them to really know each other
-boq felt very mild tbh I know ethan can be more unhinged than that
-would've liked to see glinda in magic class!!
-I was a little underwhelmed by elphaba's costumes? like there were clearly patterns on the material but it was all the same shade of black so you couldn't make anything out. it felt a bit flat. and I love the idea behind the freckles I agree with freckles I am pro freckles HOWEVER her's looked very obviously drawn on. like, I have seen way more realistic fake freckles before. so that was a bit annoying
-other than the lunchmeat dress glinda's costumes were good! especially loved the flower shaped one she wore to the ball
-the whole trying to escape in the hot air ballon scene was cool as hell but as the flaming remains of it fell to the ground I couldn't help but be like wow...she really just killed all those guards huh!
-also lmfao the bit in the woods with the lion club and fieryo has like a scratch on his temple. genuinely thought to myself 'is that his lobotomy scar' lmfao
-still trying to get over the part in dancing through life where people were dancing on the spinning gears in the clock tower...bitch
-the flying monkeys were correctly horrifying
-when I saw the broomstick I was like 'won't that be really uncomfortable between your legs' but then she just held it next to her like they do in the stage show and I was like....okay I guess you win that one? lmfao like I don't mind it for when she's hovering but when they had her like supersonic zooming on the broom it was weird that she wasn't actually riding it
-overall I just don't understand how it's an adaptation of act 1 but it's the length of the entire stage show?? lmao like I wish they took advantage of the split and added so much more but really really it was still just such a solid great movie. 5 stars. I can't keep talking about it right now I'm gonna start screaming.
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beautiful coincidences
seok matthew x female!reader | meet cute | fluff, suggestive, slight making out a/n: i believe y'all know exactly what visual of matthew i'm talking about, right? right? *** you and matthew met at a clothing store when you reached for the same jacket. what happened was what one knows of interest at first sight. eyebrows raised, you waited for him to let go – well, he didn’t.
“alright, give me a reason why i should let you get it,” he said, a smile on his face.
“i can give you two, actually,” you dared. “first of all, i have something this weekend that demands this jacket. second, it will look better on me, respectfully.”
matthew gasped, but the smile never left his beautiful features. he took it as a green light to take a good look on your body, making your eyes slightly pop with such audacity.
“right, i admit you’re gorgeous and have a good styling. but it’s actually my birthday this saturday…” he pouted. “you wouldn’t ruin that by leaving with my favorite jacket, would you?”
you had to laugh.
“that’s funny, ‘cause the something i have this weekend is precisely my birthday party.”
“okay, no need to clown me!”
“i’m not! i’ve been planning this outfit for a while, but just got the money for it yesterday.”
matthew bites his lower lip, contemplating. you have a basket from the store with more clothes, which he acknowledges they match the jacket both of you are still holding.
“maybe we could celebrate together after our parties, what do you think? i could use an apology for making me so so sad.”
you smile once again, unable to resist the charms of the man in front of you.
“yeah, poor sad man, what’s your name again?”
“matthew, yours?”
“i’m y/n. now maybe you should give me your number and i’ll analyze your proposal ‘till saturday, is that alright?”
“perfect for me.” he grins.
***
the bar downtown had lounges on the third floor with a view of the city. you rented one of the spaces to spend the night with your loved ones with no worries. it worked so well that your friends were already planning the next events to be in that same room. the place had a glass wall that allowed you to watch the hallway to be aware of anything that was happening outside.
that’s when you saw him.
matthew was standing on the other side of the building – a cup in his hand, hair slicked back and a jacket that looked exactly like yours. he was talking to what seemed to be his funniest friend; his beautiful smile was out for the world to witness, for you to remember how you didn’t text him at all.
it wasn’t on purpose, really. you just got busy with the preparations and ended up leaving it for later – a later that didn’t come.
sensing he’s being watched, matthew looks around and finds you on the other end. tilting his head to the side, his smile changes. he cheers on you with his almost empty glass, you return the action and sign him to meet you in the hallway.
“well, look who wasn’t lying,” he teases while getting closer. “somehow, i don’t see you wearing that so very demanded jacket…”
you hold a smile.
“it was getting kinda hot in there, but i can put it back if you prefer.”
“oh, no, i wouldn’t tell you to do anything you don’t want to. but i can’t lie and say i don’t enjoy this view even more.” there he goes again, scanning you up and down.
“sorry i didn’t text you, things became pretty hectic the last couple days.”
“nah, it’s fine. guess we can seize the moment right now. keep that communication going with no rush this time.”
and you do. the hours pass while you talk about trivial stuff, making sure to be interested in every aspect of each others lives. matthew’s not only handsome and charismatic, he's also part of the production team from a company you know very well — you were invited to work with them for a promotion but the schedules didn't match after all. what did match, though, was the both of you.
the way you laughed in sync, the way you looked at each other with so much attention and curiosity, the way the slightest touches made you two waver. you wish you would've met sooner, but on the other hand, getting to know each other in a place full of people who cherished you and knew how to have fun— oh, that was perfect.
later, when matthew found a more private space to enjoy your presence, you found yourself pretty comfortable on his lap. his kisses were addicting, his hands pressed your curves in ways you could just imagine. first, he was very attentive of your reactions, second, you were the most obvious woman on earth. nevertheless, it was working, matthew’s smoking hot and eager to show his every move. through the few sane thoughts still roaming in your mind, you couldn’t stop the willingness of taking him back home with you.
“wait, i need to pee,” you say, suddenly.
“like in a kinky way, or something?”
“no, what the hell!”
you burst out laughing and hide your face in his neck. matthew pats you in the back, waiting for a real answer.
“i’m serious. i kind of grinded on you in a way that hurt a bit, so it reminded me i’m here kissing you for a long time now.”
“okay, so go relieve yourself and i’ll be right here, waiting to be grinded on for another long time.”
you kiss him again, biting his lower lip as a punishment, but of course he moaned.
“you’ll be a nightmare to handle, matthew.”
“glad to know we have plans together for the next couple days.”
#seok matthew#seok matthew x reader#seok matthew imagines#seok matthew scenarios#zb1 imagines#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone x reader#zb1 x reader#bluewrts#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios
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thanks for saying what you have about covert incest. I have this memory of my dad that I won't even type out cuz it's just horrible and I haven't been able to determine if it actually happened or if it's a memory of a dream I had but part of me thinks the former cuz I don't think I could've imagined something so horrible. and he died recently and I was determined to find some kind of physical evidence that it really happened but when my mom was moving she got rid of most of his stuff before I got there and I've been so pissed about it but not able to tell her or anyone why and it just reinforces my upset toward her cuz if it really happened then she didn't protect me and goes out of her way to protect him instead but in reading your posts I'm starting to think that whether it actually happened or not doesn't matter, the feelings are there and they're real and I ought to just treat it as though it really happened. anyway sorry to be vague, this has just been a huge weight on me and I feel like finding your blog on here has been such a blessing, especially cuz this has been weighing on me even more lately cuz I've been identifying as a butch lesbian for awhile but have been wondering if I'm actually a bi trans man and have been wanting to explore sexual experiences with queer men to find out if I'd enjoy it but have been really cautious about it and haven't really tried anything yet cuz I'm scared of what it might bring up in me and I'm autistic too so the whole dating and hookup thing is scary to me even without this memory shit and idk if queer men would be interested in me anyway. but yeah I'm gonna explore those resources you shared when I'm ready and I just wanted you to know you're making a difference even through sharing your experiences on your tumblr blog. and also just wanted to confess all this to somebody so thank you for that too
<3 thanks Anon.
Your feelings and traumatized reactions are real, and your vague sense of a memory almost certainly signals that Something was not Right in the dynamic with your father, and you can stand by that and care for yourself as someone whose boundaries have been trammeled upon even if you never get to know the exact facts of what happened. So much of childhood disappears down the memory hole, and there is no easy accounting for it, but as a therapist once wisely said to me, if a person has a fracture that's consistent with a violent attack, you can often see the effects and care for them even if you can't know exactly what happened there.
I'm glad you're feeling open to the idea of exploring your own sexuality and gender identity, too. There are absolutely queer men, both trans and cis, who will be interested in you, and you can move at the pace that works for you. Remember there are no rules to queer sexuality, that's the whole point -- so you never have to try anything you don't want to do. You can have a rich, fulfilling sex life with men that never involves PIV, if you aren't interested in that, or that is completely dependent upon a kink dynamic that isn't directly sexual. or you can just put yourself on the grindr grid and find some guy who wants to give you a massage or eat you out all day. There's so many kinds of very eager people out there, and so you can be as selective and as firm in your boundaries and vetting as you need to be! There's every kind of person out there. I have some guy in my Fetlife DMs right now who only wants to shave my body; another who only wants to jerk off while watching me smell leather. The world is abundant with funny little opportunities.
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I keep coming back to your profile to reread your fics because I immediately fell in love with how you write them.
The ones for Jamil? Immaculate. Absolutely amazing. I can clearly imagine how Yuu walks up to Riddle and Leona after winter break and apologized to them without giving them any context as to why they are sorry.
And „A painted white rose“? I feel so conflicted about that open ending. Not because I have any problems with it, I absolutely love it, but I just wish I could read more about it. I just enjoy reading about the conflicts that arise within that Au.
So thank you for you hard work in providing your readers with such amazing content. Can’t wait for what else you have in store. <3
UWAAA THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAISE ;-;
Poor prefect, they feel so bad about the things they said, even if it was just for pretend. I do think that they ended up apologizing without context, cue some puzzled expressions from the two housewardens. Riddle's just "???", and will receive no context whatsoever... unless Floyd decides to blab about it in a fit of laughter, but there's nothing to worry about there. Prefect had to establish a little deal with Azul to ensure that Riddle hears nothing of that defamation incident in Scarabia.
Leona, on the other hand, does end up hearing about it one way or another. He does get momentarily annoyed for a good moment, at least until he realizes that Jamil fell for that stupid trick. It might even send Leona into a laughing fit when he finds out you practically seduced Jamil and succeeded. What a clever prefect you are. So much for a cunning housewarden, toppled down by the harmless magicless student. You bet that Leona doesn't let Jamil hear the end of it when Book 6 happens.
Regarding Painted White Rose, I actually do plan to post more blurbs/drabbles based on it. I really loved the idea of a Time Loop AU with Ace, and there was just so much potential for it! There was actually a few things that I removed from the original copy, like this:
Deuce does not understand why Ace awoke with tears in his eyes, gripping his blankets and hiding his face away like the prideful boy that he was. Suddenly, he found himself being dragged out of his own bed, following the panicked murmurs about the prefect going missing. Deuce does not understand why Ace struggled with his dreams, or why he finds himself waiting with him at the playing field, looking at the sky that day. And yet, nothing ever makes sense. The housewardens have never left, Ramshackle dorm was never destroyed, and you remained in one piece.
There was meant to be a small part dedicated to the events in Book 6, but I didn't wanna oversaturate that fic with flashbacks. However, let's consider Deuce for a hot second here.
He is probably the next person who has been consistently close to Ace through all timelines. Not to mention that Deuce is practically his neighbor, he was definitely witness to Ace waking up from those dreams. While Ace does look super crazy in those moments, Deuce was also willing to hitch a ride to NRC during the Scarabia fiasco. He would likely believe Ace if his friend was honest about what he was seeing.
Another deleted passage regarding the prefect's fate in the Book 7 bad ending!
Frozen in the crook of your shoulder, Ace mumbled against the cold fabric of your jacket. “How far did we get?” His heart was numb as he felt you shook your head against his dripping cheek. “We didn’t even get the chance to escape to the ocean before we all succumbed to Malleus’ magic.”
Kinda felt like it would have been better to let the readers imagine how Book 7, but this was my downer ending. Perhaps this was why Ace barely resists at the end of the fic. I mean, how could he possibly stand against the strongest student on campus? It's a futile attempt to fight back. But for what it was worth, his act of holding you close was the best he can do to piss off Malleus.
Speaking of Malleus and Book 7, one thing I never mentioned was that Ace would have been getting more bad dreams about Book 7. (Now that I thought about it more, I had opportunities to keep adding in glimpses of Malleus but never saw it. Massive L for me ;-;). Ace's view on Malleus shifts from one of indifference to absolute suspicion and anger. Ace doesn't like it when the prefect hangs out with Malleus, hence why he stayed with them at nights to stop those interactions. By a certain point, Ace does villainize Malleus to a degree because of how often he dreams of the prefect succumbing to sleep because of him. I do wanna explore this shift in relationships soon!
Thank you for sending in that ask! I love rambling and yapping about the stuff I write, so thank you for enabling me :)))
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#viaviavie snacks#ace trappola#jamil viper#jamil viper x reader
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I'm back with more demigod dead boy detectives (parts one and two for those interested)! In short, Edwin is a son of Athena (born at the turn of the 20th century) who spent seventy years in the fields of punishment by accident - after he escaped it was 1989 and most of the gods had moved to America of all places.
And despite all that, St Hilarion was still functioning as a demigod heaven. Edwin is not happy. At all.
Charles on the other hand is having an interesting time all around. The backstory for him that I came up with starts from before he was born. The OG pjo au that I read had his father be Ares and yes?! I adore the Frank Zang of him?
But his mom and Ares didn't click in my mind until I realized that Ares is in an on-and-off relationship with Aphrodite - who is cutting and sharp and tough but also soft and ditsy and a bit shallow. His past lovers don't all need to be veterans or kickboxers. It was an eureka moment, to be honest.
Charles' mom (name still in the works) met Ares in a museum showcasing ancient pottery and jewelry - some of them Greek - most of which depicted old heroic tales or bore the scars of the years. They started talking completely by chance - Aphrodite had stood Ares up and he didn't feel like going back to what he was doing. He decided to check this collection out - to reminisce or to try and remember fallen friends. Or just to sulk. Either way, he was there.
Charles's future mom sees him and the conflicting aesthetic of his clothing and the display he was looking at makes her want to talk with him. They hit it off. He asks to see her again and the rest is history.
They are together for four months before she gets pregnant. As expected from a god, Ares disappears from her life with only a few words. Charles's mom is left alone with a baby, in a shitty apartment with no family in the country.
It sucks. Like a lot.
Then she meets Paul Richard Rowland.
(I'm sorry but I can't do Paul's name dirty in a pjo au, I just can't. Although the irony was amusing enough to make me consider it for a whole second.)
They hit it off even with the occasionally crying baby in the next room. Soon they are engaged to be married - and married soon afterward. Charles's last name is changed and would you look at that - a happy family.
Not.
Charles is a charming and athletic boy with a love for ska and a bit of a temper. His dad is a cunt and his mom is quiet. That's fine until it isn't.
In an argument, it gets out that Richard isn't Charles's actual father (he is 14 when that happens). Stuff gets progressively worse after that (both with Richard and with the monsters - Richard's whole "something is wrong with you" really drives in the "I am different" mindset you really don't want in an untrained demigod) until Charles' mom gets desperate and contacts the boarding school - Ares had assured her that it would always have a spot for Charles.
(The phone number is that of the school board of all the still functioning demigod establishments. Had Charles been a girl they would have referred the mom to one of the all-girls or mixed schools. It's a system run by descendants, wind spirits and satyrs.)
((It's not as efficient as say sending satyrs to schools, but they only have so many satyrs. They do the guardian routine! Honest!))
Fast forward and Charles has been to St Hil for almost a year and a half. He is a semi-full-year camper in the sense he went home once for one summer and then only for two to three days a year.
He gets along with his siblings and the cricket team. He is friendly and nice but 80s racism and classist bullshit exist - he can't be too vocal with his thoughts and opinions less he is ostracized by his peers, he has to play a role he only has half the script of. The demigod thing isn't always a blessing.
He is a deft hand with daggers and knives, he is skilled with a sword - but he would prefer to play cricket or go to concerts. No magical barrier means nightly patrols and the occasional monster attack.
Cue the death scene. It plays like canon but with weapons. He is chased into the freezing lake by his siblings and his former mates. (And Charles had been so excited about having siblings - but this - they - he couldn't call brothers.)
There aren't any naiads during the winter - or they are sleeping deep into it. No one intervenes. He manages to escape his pursuers by going deeper into the woods until he comes across an old shed.
Charles goes in.
(He didn't hear the sharp snap of twigs and branches in the other direction of the one he was going. He didn't notice the second pair of footsteps shadowing his own.)
((He does see the lantern.))
And they finally meet. Isn't it grand? (TBC)
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#demigod au#pjo au#honestly this is what I have so far because I don't think a lotus shopping centre is a thing that can exist#dbd au#but also ares has a soft spot for sharp women that can make him laugh and i will die on this hill#they went on the cutsiest dates#his rude remarks made [insert name here] laugh so hard#like mother like son#charles being mistaken for an apollo kid when he got to the school#also [i really need a name i won't call her mary] knew Ares as Asher#since there are no cabins it's more like houses#but it's mainly different dorms#there is a huge - not as big as when edwin went there - unclaimed room that fits like 10 people in it#have you ever went hiking to those high enough peaks that the only place you can sleep is a shared room for 12?#yeah like those
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Day 14: Threesome
Frank Castle x Matt Murdock x You
Contents: fem!reader x Frank Castle (The Punisher x Matt Murdock , FMM threesome
W/C: 2.4k
So… it’s been a while. I’ve been super busy and I’ve had awful writers block I’m sorry guys, but istg I will get this Kinktober done if it’s the last thing I do. But I made this one nice and long and slutty to make up for it!! I love Frank and Matt and hopefully yall do too <3
Kinktober Masterlist | General Masterlist | AO3
“Fuck.. Frank,” you whined, eyes rolling back into your head with how far inside he was hitting you, how thick he felt.
“What is it, baby, you want me to go harder?” You whimpered in response, desperate for more but not even being able to speak, already winded from his relentless pace. “Go on, baby, let him hear you.” It dawned on you then - he could hear you. Your bedroom was adjoining the guest room where Matt was sleeping, and with his sense, there was no doubt that he could hear everything…
Oh God, he could hear everything…
You did your very best to keep quiet, even as he rubbed you clit, and somehow pressed himself further into you. You even tried to hold you breath, your pants, but even if you somehow managed that, he would still hear your heartbeat, or the filthy noises Frank was making every time his body met yours.
“Let him hear you.” He repeated, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “You hear that, Red.” He spoke with a challenging tone, quiet, sure, but loud enough for Matt to hear, and the thought made you shudder, pussy fluttering around him. “I know you want her too, don’t you? It’s pretty damn obvious…” It was a taunt, blatant and outright, one that you were sure Matt wouldn’t respond to. But then you heard movement in the room next to you. Frank’s finger moved to your lips, sealing them shut with one thick fidget across your cupids bow. He burrowed himself into you, pressing deep and holding himself inside, letting you whine between closed lips. Matt’s footsteps were audible in the next room, even over the blood rushing in your head. He was pacing back and forth. Deliberating. Frank’s finger then left your mouth, trailing down your body to your clit and pressing small circles around it as his cock still filled you. You whimpered, legs shaking as he continued to keep you close to your edge.
“Reddd,” he cooed, desperately trying to goad him with that stupid nickname, “she’s close…”
Surely he wouldn’t actually join you. Of course, Frank wasn’t exactly wrong. You’d noticed the way his head cocked when you spoke, the way he stood close to you when you were working together, as though guarding you. The way he seemed almost dejected when Frank kissed you, or put his arm around you in protection.
You had noticed it most obviously today. You and Frank had finally found the ring of traffickers you had been tracing for weeks, and of course, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t far behind. It had been happening more frequently - running into each other out in the city - and the first few times, Matt and Frank had tried to out-testosterone each other, as though claiming their territory. It took a while, but eventually, you had helped them see how much better they worked together.
And today was no different. It was a matter of minutes until they were all incapacitated and the police were called, and not the corrupt ones, as Matt assured you consistently. Frank was more of a take-justice-into-your-own-hands kind of vigilante, which you didn’t mind. For the most part, you even agreed with him. ‘Dead men don’t rape’ had been your mantra since you were thirteen. But it was refreshing not always having to spill blood. Well, not as much as usual anyway.
The problem was, Matt had been badly hurt. You hadn’t even noticed until he collapsed onto the tarmac, blood gushing from his side, and a nasty welt blooming on his cheek. You were panicking quickly. He usually didn't show when he got hurt. You’d seen his entire back sliced open and he still managed to fight, but now, he could barely walk, and there was no chance he was making it all the way to his home. You begged Frank to let you bring him to your apartment and patch him up. Matt argued weakly, barely able to form coherent sentences, but Frank quickly caught on to your distress, telling him to stop moaning and that it this happening whether he liked it or not.
The three of you managed to stumble home, practically carrying Matt up the stairs to your lousy place. You settled him on the couch before grabbing the first-aid kit you had made up as soon as you and Frank had started this vigilante… thing - you weren’t even sure what to call it really.
“Sorry…” you muttered quietly, as you tried to ascertain where the blood was coming from. He winced as your fingers grazed over his side. “I can’t see where this…” You were quiet, mumbling as you tried to cover up your awkwardness. You needed to take his suit off, but even if he was bleeding, you didn’t quite feel comfortable just undressing him.
“Let me have a look.” Frank said, placing three glances of whiskey on the table. Matt had gotten your subtle hint and started to unstrap his body armour as Frank settled next to him. It turned out to be a stab wound, along with a nasty gash that stretched down his side, shallower than it initially looked though.
“This is gonna hurt, Red..” he muttered, grabbing the antiseptic and bandages. You sat of the edge of the coffee table, grabbing a wipe to clean the small wound on his face, hoping to provide distraction. As soon as Frank started, he hissed in pain, hand shooting out to your thigh and grabbing hard. You had tried your best not to noticed, but you couldn’t help but glanced down at his bare torso as you continued to carefully blot at the cut on his cheek, watching the way his muscles flexed in pain, and the rise and fall of his chest with each steading breath he took. You blushed lightly as you continued to work, but you could feel Frank glancing at you.
He wasn’t insecure in the slightest. And your relationship was very much an open one - with your histories and professions, it would be stupid not to be. But he had never seen it in real life: the look you usually gave him being aimed towards somebody else.
And now you were here, under his strong body, trying not to climax too early and listening intently for the slightest hint that Matt was going to respond to his taunt.
And then he did. You could hear footsteps quickening, then pausing right outside the door, a soft curse muttered under his breath. You whimpered in disappointment, frustration building as Frank fucked into you hard and his fingers moved faster against your aching core.
“Fuck, Matt, are you coming in or not?” You whined it quietly, cautiously. Just loud enough that he could hear, but just quiet enough that you all had plausible deniability if he changed his mind. Luckily for you, he hadn’t.
The door flew open and he strode to you urgently, pressing his lips against yours with fervor. The first taste of him was overwhelming—something you'd wanted for so long, finally happening, and it was better than you could have hoped. You could only imagine how he felt in that moment, his groan of relief and passion falling into your mouth. Your hand flew to his hair, fingertips running through the soft locks. His hand cupped your chin then traced lower, forming a delicate cage around your neck, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against the sensitive skin there. You whined against his lips, your hips bucking into Frank uncontrollably. He had been watching the two of you with a dark look on his face, buried to the hilt inside you. It suited him. He was possessive but not jealous, protective but not obsessive—a perfect middle ground that he thrived in.
His thrusts deepened, and you let out a yelp at the sudden increase of pressure. Matt smiled. His fingers moved from your neck, trailing down your collarbone and lower until he was circling your nipple. He barely touched you, light as air, yet the sensation was dizzying. He started to increase the pressure until he was ready, and then he pinched, just hard enough to send a sharp jolt of pleasure straight to your head. Paired with the way Frank was fucking you, his thumb still circling your clit, it wasn't long before you were coming undone. White hot pleasure overwhelmed your senses, muscles locking and shaking under their expert touches. You tried to moan, the guttural sound escaping you, but Matt’s mouth swallowed it.
“That’s it baby…” Frank crooned, still fucking you through it. “Atta girl.”
It was a while before you could breath again, body still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm, but you barely had time to recover before you were being moved. You just about registered when your body hit Frank’s solid form, his arms wrapping around you as he tried to manhandle you into position, whispering sweet instructions in your ear.
“You’ve got another round in you, don’t you gorgeous? That’s it, good girl, on your hands and knees for us… give Red a chance to feel that pretty pussy of yours.” You were exhausted, totally fucked out, but when you felt Matt’s hands slide up the back of your thighs, onto your back and hips, as though trying to commit the very shape of you to his memory, you could feel yourself getting wet again. You nodded, smiling up at Frank through half lidded eyes and settling into position, arching your back for the gorgeous man behind you. You glanced back to see him, now stripped naked, his arms flexing as he gripped your hips tight, a low groan escaping his lips. A hand fell to your chin, pulling your attention back to the man in front of you, thumb smearing across your lips then into your mouth. Reminding you who you belonged to. After all the flirting, the teasing, the fucking… you were his. However non-committal you were, however far away you were, whoever you were with, deep down you knew, you would always fall back into his arms.
A knowing smile flashed across his face. He knew it. As you knelt there, his thumb in your hot mouth, your back arched for another man but your eyes on him, he knew he had you.
And that was why he let Matt sink into you. You moaned around Frank’s thumb as he slowly pressed himself deep, feeling every inch of him as he controlled the pace with his fingers biting into your hips. You tried to buck backwards, to make him speed up, to just fuck you already, but he wouldn't let you, his strength keeping you exactly where he wanted you. When his hips finally met your ass, he let out a low growl, pressing his body to the back of yours, and Frank finally freed your mouth, allowing Matt to gather your hair in his hand and twist your head back to kiss you hungrily. His lips left yours, and you whined, but then the hand in your hair started guiding you down towards Frank’s waiting cock, thick and hard and leaking precum and you realised it had been his hand all along. Frank’s. You shouldn't be surprised. You knew he was always in control, and sex was no different.
As your ready mouth sank down onto his erection, he wasted no time bottoming out, pressing into your throat and letting you gag around him just as Matt started to move, dragging out of you with aching patience, then rutting back in. It only took a few thrusts before he was losing control, and his pace quickened, whines and pants and curses falling from his lips as his hips slapped against you. When Frank finally pulled you off him, you were gasping, but he didn't let you have much of a breather, just enough to ease the burning in your lungs a tiny bit. Tears were pricking in your eyes, but he soothed you with praises and pet names, and you knew you could take it. You would take anything he gave you. He pulled you off again, but this time, not enough to take even a full breath before he pressed himself completely into your throat. You had never taken so much before, nose pressing against the very base of him, and you could taste yourself on him, a realisation that made your cunt flutter around Matt, earning a groan. You swallowed around him, eager to please, and it was enough. He stuttered your name, pressing you just a touch deeper, before he came down your throat, and you swallowed quickly, not wanting to waste a single drop.
He finally released you when he was completely spent, letting your head fall to the bed as you desperately caught your breath. You couldn't relax for long though, as Frank scooped you up once more, shuffling forward as your body was flush with his, head lulling over his shoulder. This position meant Matt was fucking up into you, hitting a spot that made you whimper in pure ecstasy, so good you could do nothing but dig your nails into Frank’s back. He growled, hand trailing down your body to find your clit and gently circle, pressure so light you shouldn’t have felt a thing, but you were already so overstimulated, so pent up, and with the way Matt was reaching that perfect place, you were so close.
“There you go pretty girl… that's it baby come on his cock for me…” Frank’s words were the last thing you needed to push you over the edge and you cried out, pleasure so good it was almost painful, whole body squirming in his arms. Matt’s hips stuttered, and he bit down onto your shoulder to suppress his moan as he came inside you, hands still firmly gripping your hips and grinding into you.
Your mind was hazy when you were finally finished, completely melted in Frank’s arms, Matt’s cock still inside you.
“This isn't going to become a habit now, pretty boy. Don't get it twisted. It was only because you got stabbed.” Matt just chuckled, his body collapsing into yours and you felt his cheek against your shoulder, hot breath fanning across your upper arm.
“It was worth it.”
#kinktober 2024#fanfic#kinktober#matt murdock smut#matt murdock x you#daredevil smut#daredevil fanfiction#frank castle x you#frank castle smut#punisher x you#daredevil x you#frank castle x matt murdock#frank castle x matt murdock x you#marvel#the punisher smut
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Are we just gonna ignore the ticking time bomb which is the truth about Lucifer's fall (eventually) coming out? What would or why would it happen? Or would Uriel and the other old angels take that one to the grave?
lucifer's fall is a now complicated narrative - anything written in uriel's books on the matter is obviously false, fabricated as god directed him to do so, but the memories of the angels from that time have been repeatedly put into question, making it difficult for even those directly involved in the war to now say what happened in those days. compounding this is the simple fact that god is seen as infallible and so, therefor, as the end authority on what the truth really is. uriel doesn't have access to thoughts, but god does. to this end, if god tells them all the lucifer had designs to take over his throne, that he was scheming, jealous, wicked, it must be so. lucifer's words, his public stance against god, were nothing more than lip service - he is the father of lies and used deception to his ends. at first, it's difficult for those who knew him to believe even if god's word must be so. yet, as time goes on, as they forget lucifer, as they forget his boundless love and his endless passion, they begin to accept it, believe in it, and ultimately hold it as gospel. because of their closeness, the archangels do hold private reservations, with michael's being the worst and resulting in the manifestation of his dogmatic adherence to god, but otherwise...it is widely accepted and adopted as true, even for those who were a part of the war. unfortunately, hell has access to the testaments.
now the testaments. aren't that important to v1. the history of this place isn't of particular interest to it and it largely puts them out of its mind after quickly reading and filing them away. however, gabriel will ultimately have to reach a true point of reckoning and deconstruction of his faith - he has reflected on god's world and its falsehoods, in his fall he has reveled for a time in rebelling against it and everything he was under it, but once the turbulence slows, he needs to actually confront himself as an angel that has lost its faith in god. and i think during that time, with all its suffering, its hate, its grief, v1 directs him toward the testaments it nearly threw in its trash bin. he deserves to see the truth as god himself wrote it rather than be an abandoned child left guessing. and while they hold a myriad of hard truths for gabriel to process, the truth of lucifer is devastating. he questioned the existence of hell, he questioned the validity of its purpose, and for that he was cast out. because god didn't have an answer. when gabriel sifts through the haze of eons, digs under the story as told by god, pushes past the severe punishments they all endured under the guise of rooting out any more like lucifer (used, in no small part, to make them all hate him, to make it seem as though their agony was caused by lucifer instead of god), he can remember him in parts. it's so hard to undo the damage done, all the deception, punishments, and threats god used to make them all weapons against lucifer, but now as a fallen angel, gabriel is faithless just enough to find his way to his own real memories.
they aren't strong. they barely cling to the corners of his mind after so much battering. but he remembers what it felt like in lucifer's presence, the warmth and jubilation of his experience. he radiated love and his words poured forth that love, his brilliance shared with all that joined to him. the pieces are broken, but i think this, paired with working up his courage to actually seek lucifer out and seeing his fate, would set gabriel on a campaign to finally pull his memory out of the shit god callously cast it into and force heaven to really see who they still cleave to. he deserves that much, though he may be now warped beyond recognition like so many of the angels that fell with him. and while he can do little to fight for this directly, his main goal is to make his siblings see what he does. they will all be VERY resistant to his attempts, but it would likely be uriel who is the first to admit to falsehoods in this narrative - he's written enough edited content to know god directed him to lie in his histories, so he accepts it the easiest. the other two prove much more difficult - raphael wants little to do with the conversation and michael is incredibly volatile at the idea. and gabriel knows why. he understands it. raphael is kind, he is so gentle-hearted the truth is too terrible to swallow - and, selfishly, he wants peace and harmony. this would disrupt the comfort he and all of heaven has left, and his main directive is always, always to make things comfortable. michael is just as obvious, he has combated this in his own soul for all this time, tearing apart from the inside out over the idea that lucifer may not have deserved his awful punishment and how holding that belief made him some kind of apostate in his own mind. so any mention of it sends him into a rage, proclaiming his hatred for lucifer and condemning gabriel's own hell-twisted mind for contorting the truth so.
the only way they could be convinced is to read the testaments for themselves and be sure it is god's word (hard to deny i think, as i hc they are written in the language of heaven which nothing in hell can reproduce...and v1 must actually interpret it for gabriel, as the words burn his eyes and nauseate him, so could come from no infernal source) raphael recoils from it, retreating into prayer as though that could change the words in front of him. uriel is....resigned yet ashamed, like he always knew this to be true and feels his hand in perpetuating it for all this time. but in reality, michael's determination is the most important - he is still the prince of heaven regardless of his current state, and so is now their highest authority. and he sees the words. he sees himself. he sees all this has come to, the kingdom of god as the banner he carried and his broken little family gathered around him. in spite of themselves, they want him to say something. but god's word is his word. he reads it for what it is and michael, always so legal, always so literal, can interpret it only one way. he grasps at his scripture, yet the closest crime worthy of hell he can attribute it to, accusing the work of the holy spirit to be evil, hardly fits. he would be twisting canon's meaning and lucifer's words, as he only questioned. he just asked. it could be a sin to ask...but never a sin that couldn't be repented. the more he thinks on it in measured silence, the more he knows he's inserting ambiguity where there is none. god transposed his guilt onto lucifer, knowing it was wrong. and michael can't go against the word of god.
he will determine with raphael and uriel how best to tell heaven. and he will finally undo his chains
#not that michael's determination here doesn't. spark immediate debate lol#but he is nothing if not true to god's word#and i like to think this begins to MAJORLY release michael from his role of wrath-bearer and back into his mercy#a lot. goes into why he decides this too#v2. the ferryman. gabriel in his fall. his own existential and physical deterioration#SORRY i didn't get into the actual what would happen part#but the fallout would require a lot of my rambling too lol#heaven would be in an absolute tumult!!! michael heretic arc#cake answers#lucifer#fallen gabriel#michael#raphael#uriel#rise and fall au
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i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.
#ramble#i think knowing that he was awful and that it wasn't my fault should make all the sad go away actually#i'm in such a weird fragile state right now that last night i looked at my flip flops that are still covered in mud#and i just started crying bc last weekend he carried me over the mud so they wouldn't get ruined. KNOWING he was going to do this to me#sorry i try really hard not to overshare but i don't want to keep bothering anyone in my actual life about this and idk what to do#when it happened it didn't hurt this badly and i just assumed i would be fine#idk i think it's just sunk in how much of my future i don't have anymore and that's like#a bit scary#because i was Just calming down and thinking maybe i would be ok in the long term and now it's all gone#i'm in that weird place between desperately wanting him back and plotting where to bury the body parts#i'm also mad bc i wish he'd left me before the festival. there were SO many gorgeous metalhead trans girls that i could've kissed
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gonna keep it shmoovin man
#just me hi#i have a piece i was working on last night that i realized after i didn't have my computer could actually be Much more accurate to my ideaa#but that means i gotta scrap some stuff. sigh ᴗ.ᴗ#also i couldn't get around to readin my thing yesterday cuz my focus was shot for some reason lmao <//3#i would open the thing and then just start. driiiifting away kfshvg#//anyway idk what happened but why have i started to miss Gs at the end of my words Lmfhvaf#i already do that in real life we don't needa do that here too kfshvh#'asz wu' 'm sayin man !!' <- my engrish :3#i do like it though i think it's fun :> but my typingggg not you too kfsvhg#//anywho i've got a $1.75 thing i'm workin on :D#it's gonna hopefully be the third part to those last two i did for that thing#which goes adoration -> devotion -> guess hfh :3#i'm normal abt these guys. [places them in a lunchbox and throws it into the river to watch the bubbles] yea :)#//anyway Wednesday#not the best of the week days i will not lie#like you're stuck between the beginning and the end and it's just got that undecided feeling to it ykno what i mean pfshv#//also LMAO i've been calling feet/foot 'peets/poot' bc i think it's goofy and i don't like the F sound#and i got leo into saying it and he was talkin to somebody and had to explain what it was Lmfhjshfg#my infec- influence is spreading. influence. that's what i said#my woerds: peet. poot. tomach. shnoze. ham. heed. fingaa. ect ect#//ouhhh my collarbone keeps making these snappy noises when i pull my shoulders back#it's only occasional but holy shizz it's loud sometimes. like 'when we're in church i think you can hear it 4 pews back' loud khgsfjhfvjg#//ANYWAY i was mentioning wednesday earlier cuz it's not the best of days on the week (we know this) but i wanna go skating </3#'why isn't wednesday good for that' because it's the middle of the week. [gesturing]#i can't explain it but things need to happen on- Oo i like this songgggkkggg- either weekends or the other 4 days of the weekday#wednesday is for appointments you really don't want. i'm sorry but it's a filler day <//3#which means no happenings on a wednesday. it's illegal. that's right. Illegal#even thursday is iffy man. tuesday? tuesday is your last-chance stop. perhaps i do have thoughts about silly things Kfhvsjhgsf#nobody tell leo he's tryna get me for having a weird brain. the sentence is 5000 years of i-told-you 😔 Lmaooo#//OKAY i think i'm outta tags tho lemme say ciao here loll :3 toodles tooooodles !!! <3
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heat hazed days (x) viper x colonnello
a fucking idiot. colonnello was a fucking idiot. viper couldn't help think over and over, the nostalgia that took the tip of their tongue tasting more bitter than sweet. viper hated him, hated his guts, hated the fact that he had someone he would dedicate his world to. detested that he would willingly take the curse they so desperately wanted to break. and what for? she's still suffering, no one's a hero. congratulations.
the annoying blond witch laughed at the suffering of their toddler bodies. it reminded them a little of bel. oh bel. viper didn't like the thought of him, not now. that was quite uncharacteristic, a little disgusting, if you would.
if there was anything they hated more than being owed payments, it was owing payments, no matter the amount. this must have been the moment those annoying time travelling gremlins from the vongola was thinking about years back, them being saved by colonnello, something like that. ridiculous thoughts, but when they could hear the semblance of this same thought in reborn's mind, it has to be true, right?
but him of all people? bleugh, bleugh, bleugh! lover boy? he's not even good enough to sit with them. viper detested that thought, that knowledge, and the thing is he doesn't even know. unfortunately, this wasn't the right universe where the vongola saved the earth is it?
they couldn't even bother with the fucking witch, the radiation stung, it was a losing battle and they knew they, plural, were both dead. but the knowledge from reborn's mind was eating at them. god fucking damn it.
"you know, i fucking hate you," they looked at colonnello one last time, "hate that you have lal and lal has you and i hate your fucking guts and your not-good-enough ass that somehow assed your way into the strongest seven."
"and you may not even know this," they said as they took another blow for him, stupidly, "or you may be far too stupid to even think this, but i think i don't owe you shit anymore."
"don't kill yourself." they said ominously before they let the last shot hit, pushing him away.
#;fic#;songfic#im insane i may delete this because im not confident lol#i've been thinking about writing something out of kagerou daze for a loooong time#initially it was bel mammon#but i didnt get enough inspiration to write it#but tonight my brain asked what if it was colo instead#i think khr also plays with universe jumps#i guess this fic would be set in a parallel verse where the gremlins did manage to return back#but that part of the history (colo and mammon being murdered by gingerbread) got tweaked but still happened#i also got to explore a little more about them idt mammon hates him but idt they get along#i thought about the contrast between cursehatergremlin and igotcursedforlove#that has to be detestable right#sorry im rambling in my tags#i didn't follow actual kagepro though sorry i only listened to this song bc of pr/////oject s//////ekai
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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me when I first heard of Barbie: that sounds like a 2 hour commercial for Barbie
me when I saw the online reaction to the movie: hmm it might be worth watching
me after I watched Barbie: that was a 2 hour commercial for Barbie.
#I'm sorry I really did not like it.....#even when I try to analyze the movie's mechanics (rather than its social commentary) it's still not a good movie to me....#it really did just feel like a literal commercial -- a lot of flashy music costumes and pitches but no actual substance....sorry#so much of the characterization/suspense/setting would be thrown at you with a zingy one-liner and no further attempt to establish it....uh#like Mattel trying to capture Barbie and return her to Barbieland had 0 explanation for how they knew she was there...why it was important#to send her back...what would happen if they didn't send her back...and Mattel was not funny enough (to me) to ignore the lack of stakes lo#so that subplot did not emotionally engage me.....same with the Kens...their takeover was like....um. ok? what's actually at stake?#their world seemed to not have any disease so the status of 'doctor' didn't mean anything -- so why does it matter if Kens have that status#and they had no wars or crimes so who cares if Kens are president or judges...like....these are just titles!!! there's no value behind it!!#the most emotionally engaging part of that arc is Barbie losing her house#and I think they should have dug into that part more#but that scene is just zingy one liner after zingy one liner....god#marvel's obsession with zingy one liners has destroyed the brightest minds of our generation I fear#anyway....this is all before I even get into the social commentary....but I'll stop now lol
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𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐕. My energy levels waned quicker than I thought, so that will be it for today's activity— I seriously hope to adjust soon enough so I can do more without dying to get into bed and hibernate until it's time to wake up and go to class again. But! While I said I wouldn't indulge much the thought of something I read in Princess Mina of the Fallen Nation, I did start to think of it as something actually plausible in regards of Khaenri'ah.
Considering how deeply ingrained was the devotion to the Abyss in the society (at least in higher spheres concerning nobility which I'm sure Dain also touches onto as well as other Black Serpent Knights depending on who they're tasked to guard), I think it's very hard at this point to run with the belief that sussy things happened in the background and no one of those who don't agree with this noticed, which I firmly believe Dain would be included due to the way he lamented so much Khaenri'ah's fall. Even more so when all of a sudden a stranger comes "from the Abyss" and becomes the kingdom's prince(ss).
So, the one thing that I will address is:
"'This will all end as long as we defeat the evil overlords.' That's what we believed then. Naive fools that we were — that was just the beginning of the nightmare." "The thirteen samurai banded together to defeat the Nakura Daimyo who had been destroying this nation." "But Kogami did not revive with the Daimyo gone, and the life-force of the land continued to bleed away." "Not only that — Kogami, now bereft of its ruler, became a paradise for those who would plunder it." "The heroes who had defeated the wicked overlord could not protect it in the end either."
Thinking about Khaenri'ah, this had me wondering: what if part of the society, tired of the dark esotericism that was causing more harm than good and that was a thing since many years ago, wanted to do something to end with this so the people could live peacefully? And that this was enforced by a faction of the military to end. Considering that King Irmin was also neck deep into this, it wouldn't be far-fetched to think that those who wanted to make the nation a better place and not another home where it's unsafe to live or potentially worse than what many people left behind (namely the other seven nations ruled by the Archons) seized the opportunity that this king wasn't at his best point. Which later on would follow with Marshal Anfortas' temporary regency (whether he was the Alberich or not, I have no clue— it could be either him and that he continued to be the regent until Khaenri'ah's destruction or that someone of the Alberich clan stepped in to take the position after him). We do know that the Alberich who took the regent position wanted to mend things and, in my interpretation, it was too late for that.
So back to what I was commenting earlier and which I may adhere to my own particular worldbuilding of Khaenri'ah: part of the army, among which Dain was included, wanted to make out of Khaenri'ah a better place and actually kicked out from positions of power and relevance those who were way too deep into the Abyss dark part (it's known that they were able to invoke rifthounds in Sumeru, I highly doubt they wouldn't in Khaenri'ah even if for experimentation purposes alone that either go wrong or cause too much disruption in the society) and a time of peace follows after that. They believe that everything would go better from that moment onward, when the truth is... that highly likely they only scratched the surface of what Khaenri'ah's darkness supposed, which later on would culminate in the Cataclysm also because of those people in great part.
#◟༺✧༻◞ events to be remembered in blue veins ┊addendum.┊#I won't indulge in the thought; I said#watch me dive right into it in full#I'm so sorry dfjhjg#but based on that#and how there are other instances#where the book does seem to tease Khaenri'ah things#I think it sounds fair actually#and it would also remove the uncertainty of#how can be one so blind to not notice anything at /all/#considering it's been a thing ingrained in society for thousands of years#and to be fair I like this take#as it also helps me as a Dain writer#to have a more solid thought in regards#of what could've happened#because no we won't go R.aiden E.i on this one#of “I didn't know frick”#because down to even changing the energy source#from the Ley Lines to the Abyss energy#is suspicious in itself#and part of the reason why the Schwanenritter were in Sumeru#anyhow I'll slowly retire to bed now#I didn't get to do the plotting thingies#but I'll do my best to do that tomorrow#g'night you peeps ♥︎
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so crazy how many people will be like "back to the future is weird bc marty tries to get with his mom" when, if you actually watch the movie, he SUPER clearly does not want to get with her and gets weirded out bc she's into him but i guess this unsubtle plotline went over people's heads 😭
#tell me you didn't watch the movie without telling me you didn't watch the movie... it's not even subtext he's blatantly grossed out by it#personally i blame the john mulaney bit he did about it for a lot of this thinking bc he either intentionally was like this would be funny#or he also did not get what was actually happening in that movie but like... entirely too many people thinking this#also like even if you have 0 ability to listen to dialogue the entire plot of that part is him trying to get his parents together so 😭#sorry people are stupid <3
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