#v2. the ferryman. gabriel in his fall. his own existential and physical deterioration

[cherubchoirs]

Are we just gonna ignore the ticking time bomb which is the truth about Lucifer's fall (eventually) coming out? What would or why would it happen? Or would Uriel and the other old angels take that one to the grave?

lucifer's fall is a now complicated narrative - anything written in uriel's books on the matter is obviously false, fabricated as god directed him to do so, but the memories of the angels from that time have been repeatedly put into question, making it difficult for even those directly involved in the war to now say what happened in those days. compounding this is the simple fact that god is seen as infallible and so, therefor, as the end authority on what the truth really is. uriel doesn't have access to thoughts, but god does. to this end, if god tells them all the lucifer had designs to take over his throne, that he was scheming, jealous, wicked, it must be so. lucifer's words, his public stance against god, were nothing more than lip service - he is the father of lies and used deception to his ends. at first, it's difficult for those who knew him to believe even if god's word must be so. yet, as time goes on, as they forget lucifer, as they forget his boundless love and his endless passion, they begin to accept it, believe in it, and ultimately hold it as gospel. because of their closeness, the archangels do hold private reservations, with michael's being the worst and resulting in the manifestation of his dogmatic adherence to god, but otherwise...it is widely accepted and adopted as true, even for those who were a part of the war. unfortunately, hell has access to the testaments.

now the testaments. aren't that important to v1. the history of this place isn't of particular interest to it and it largely puts them out of its mind after quickly reading and filing them away. however, gabriel will ultimately have to reach a true point of reckoning and deconstruction of his faith - he has reflected on god's world and its falsehoods, in his fall he has reveled for a time in rebelling against it and everything he was under it, but once the turbulence slows, he needs to actually confront himself as an angel that has lost its faith in god. and i think during that time, with all its suffering, its hate, its grief, v1 directs him toward the testaments it nearly threw in its trash bin. he deserves to see the truth as god himself wrote it rather than be an abandoned child left guessing. and while they hold a myriad of hard truths for gabriel to process, the truth of lucifer is devastating. he questioned the existence of hell, he questioned the validity of its purpose, and for that he was cast out. because god didn't have an answer. when gabriel sifts through the haze of eons, digs under the story as told by god, pushes past the severe punishments they all endured under the guise of rooting out any more like lucifer (used, in no small part, to make them all hate him, to make it seem as though their agony was caused by lucifer instead of god), he can remember him in parts. it's so hard to undo the damage done, all the deception, punishments, and threats god used to make them all weapons against lucifer, but now as a fallen angel, gabriel is faithless just enough to find his way to his own real memories.

they aren't strong. they barely cling to the corners of his mind after so much battering. but he remembers what it felt like in lucifer's presence, the warmth and jubilation of his experience. he radiated love and his words poured forth that love, his brilliance shared with all that joined to him. the pieces are broken, but i think this, paired with working up his courage to actually seek lucifer out and seeing his fate, would set gabriel on a campaign to finally pull his memory out of the shit god callously cast it into and force heaven to really see who they still cleave to. he deserves that much, though he may be now warped beyond recognition like so many of the angels that fell with him. and while he can do little to fight for this directly, his main goal is to make his siblings see what he does. they will all be VERY resistant to his attempts, but it would likely be uriel who is the first to admit to falsehoods in this narrative - he's written enough edited content to know god directed him to lie in his histories, so he accepts it the easiest. the other two prove much more difficult - raphael wants little to do with the conversation and michael is incredibly volatile at the idea. and gabriel knows why. he understands it. raphael is kind, he is so gentle-hearted the truth is too terrible to swallow - and, selfishly, he wants peace and harmony. this would disrupt the comfort he and all of heaven has left, and his main directive is always, always to make things comfortable. michael is just as obvious, he has combated this in his own soul for all this time, tearing apart from the inside out over the idea that lucifer may not have deserved his awful punishment and how holding that belief made him some kind of apostate in his own mind. so any mention of it sends him into a rage, proclaiming his hatred for lucifer and condemning gabriel's own hell-twisted mind for contorting the truth so.

the only way they could be convinced is to read the testaments for themselves and be sure it is god's word (hard to deny i think, as i hc they are written in the language of heaven which nothing in hell can reproduce...and v1 must actually interpret it for gabriel, as the words burn his eyes and nauseate him, so could come from no infernal source) raphael recoils from it, retreating into prayer as though that could change the words in front of him. uriel is....resigned yet ashamed, like he always knew this to be true and feels his hand in perpetuating it for all this time. but in reality, michael's determination is the most important - he is still the prince of heaven regardless of his current state, and so is now their highest authority. and he sees the words. he sees himself. he sees all this has come to, the kingdom of god as the banner he carried and his broken little family gathered around him. in spite of themselves, they want him to say something. but god's word is his word. he reads it for what it is and michael, always so legal, always so literal, can interpret it only one way. he grasps at his scripture, yet the closest crime worthy of hell he can attribute it to, accusing the work of the holy spirit to be evil, hardly fits. he would be twisting canon's meaning and lucifer's words, as he only questioned. he just asked. it could be a sin to ask...but never a sin that couldn't be repented. the more he thinks on it in measured silence, the more he knows he's inserting ambiguity where there is none. god transposed his guilt onto lucifer, knowing it was wrong. and michael can't go against the word of god.

he will determine with raphael and uriel how best to tell heaven. and he will finally undo his chains