#SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS POST SOME OF THIS DIALOGUE NEEDED TO BE IMMORTALIZED

[laslow]

Get In Loser We're Going Shopping | Team Verdane

A drabble in which we earn a little bit more than we bargained for

The realization that things did not go to plan was of little surprise.

Honestly, he'd be surprised if things did go smoothly for once. All things considered, a shipwreck blowing them off course was nothing. A mere inconvenience!

Less so was the fact they lost some allies while gaining others. Laslow prays those swept away by the currents are faring safely wherever they washed up. It'll surely make for a grand story once they've all endured this latest adventure.

He sets his worries aside for now; there are more pressing matters at hand, like scrounging up a weapon or two. Utterly embarrassing, to lose his equipment. But perhaps a kind lady might take pity on him--a poor young man floundering ashore without a sword to protect himself! Yes, he can see it now, the compassion in a lovely pair of eyes, the tugging of the heartstrings--

Someone jostles his shoulder and ruins the illusion. There's a muttered sorry before they're swallowed up by the crowd. Laslow adjusts his jacket. For the best he doesn't get too lost in his head anyway. The bazaar is teeming with people, from sellers peddling their wares seated on colorful rugs to shoppers of all ages going about their day.

"Stay close," Laslow warns both Corrin and Hilda. They push through well enough, only slowing when they all notice an incredibly busy stall with a brightly dressed man at the center. He looks like he wants to stand out, despite the tinted glasses hiding half his expression. Bottles and vases containing suspicious liquids are arranged in haphazard order, and Laslow thinks it's a miracle no one has accidentally broken one.

Eventually, he catches the seller's attention.

"afternoon! could you direct me to the vulneraries, please?" The merchant smiles wide at Laslow's approach, and immediately begins bowing and gesturing and rubbing his hands together when he seems interested in what he has for sale. "Vulneraries? For what ailment? My child, you'll have to be more specific. I've a number of remedies -- warts, sunburn, bellyache, hair loss, sore feet... name your illness and I'll fix it, good as new! What shall it be?" laslow blinks a moment. the one for sore feet actually doesn't sounds too bad.... "oh, for general health! my friends and i just escaped a shipwreck, you see. it was all rather harrowing." it’s now that corrin pipes up, smiling despite the… strange energy of the man. “we were planning to travel towards…” a moment’s pause to pray she correctly remembered the name of their original destination, “grannvale, and we’re just looking to stock up for the journey.”

"A shipwreck? Oh! Yes, I did hear news of a bunch of foreigners coming ashore this morning." His smile seems to curl. "Now, I have just the thing for you. Those waves can be mighty rough." Nimble fingers pick through a sectioned box as he nods along to Corrin's request, lifting one thin vial of multi-colored liquid after another until finally finding one - a vibrant green - and plucks it from the batch. "Grannvale's quite a distance from here. Seven days might get you to the border, if you're on horseback. If you plan to walk, well..." He holds out the vial, his other hand poised under it palm-up like a stage. "This little concoction will melt away all of those pesky aches, and you won't feel any new ones for half a day at least. A must-have for any long journey. You'll feel like you're enveloped in a cloud!" “oh! how convenient.” damn. they’re going to be here a while. corrin leans closer, peering at the little vial for a moment. her expression is considerably less suspicious than it should be, probably. “i’ve never heard of anything like it. you must be quite skilled at your craft,” her head tilts, “how much would that run us, do you think?” news indeed travels fast. laslow isn't thrilled about the idea of riding horses for a week straight, but if it gets them to their destination faster, he'll deal with it. as nice as that green potion sounds, he can't help but wonder what else it may do. delay reaction times, slow down thought processes,... eyes flit to corrin. she really is too trusting. "you seem a knowledgeable man. do you know where we might find a map as well?" "Thirteen hundred for the vial. Good for one person." The merchant glances back to Laslow. "I don't sell maps, I'm afraid, but for a small fee, I can draw you one." "how much for the map?" laslow asks, doing his best to keep his suprise at bay. To this, the merchant thinks for a moment, a finger to his chin. Then he holds up two fingers. "Two hundred, and my handicraft will be yours."

As the merchant names his price, Hilda turns to him with her most disarming smile. “Wow! Your stock is so impressive.” She gestures to the array before laying a friendly hand on his arm. “But we lost so much in the storm…” Her expression falls to one more dejected as she turned to her allies. “I guess we’re out of luck if we want something of such high quality…”

The merchant is taken in by Hilda's wily charms and honeyed words. "Now, you must understand that I run a business, so I cannot simply part with my wares for free. However, I will extend to you a fraction of Nahan's generosity. If you purchase this vial, I will give you a discount. One thousand for it, and I will draw you a map to Grannvale for free." He then reaches over the table and grabs a heftier, long-necked bottle of what looks to be tarnished silver, but you know it couldn't possibly be made of material that precious. He sets it down in front of you beside the bright green vial. "And a sample of a special hair oil, just for you." His words bring a smile back to her face, her expression lighting up. “You mean it? Thank you! That’s such a generous offer.” She bats her eyelashes at him before turning back to the others. “But my friends here hold the coin purse. What do you think?” the most fortunate one here, corrin makes something of a show of fishing around in her pocket as if to further prove that she definitely did not have enough money for the previous price. it’s only a moment before she produces the proper sum, offering it forward with a grateful nod. “we cannot thank you enough, really.”The apothecary takes the money with a grateful bow. "My pleasure. I do hope you'll remember to stop by again before you embark for Grannvale."

Unknown concoction in hand, Laslow leads their little group to a weapons stall. Metal of all shapes and sizes gleams in neat rows. He itches to reach for a sword, excuses of "just testing it out!" poised on his lips when he catches sight of the woman clearly in charge.

Ruffles his hair just so before approaching “Hel-lo there! I couldn’t help but notice these lovely swords being sold by an even lovelier woman.” It's a blur after that--all the trepidation melts from her gaze, interest sparking instead. He recalls the phrases "eye candy" and "nice older lady" being used, but his mind is far too busy catching up with the fact she didn't threaten him with the very sharp weapon at arm's length the moment he opened his mouth. none of this is how he expects it to go. He turns red to the tips of his ears, barely managing not to look at corrin out of sheer embarrassment. (Learned the lesson a long time ago that some women don’t like it when you look at another girl while talking to girl #1) He stutters out a response. “Um. Uh. Well, thank you, my darling, for such a kind offer. I truly do need a weapon—how else can I fend off all the boys vying for your hand?” He throws in a wink for good measure. “Alas, I lost my own trusted blade in a shipwreck.” A dramatic sigh for effect "Well, we can't have that now can we?" She picks up the Slim Sword from her collection. "I've had trouble selling this one. There's nothing wrong with it, but most mercenaries and other battle-types who come through these streets are often looking for something far more valuable than what I have the supplies for. I've give it to you for an eighty-percent discount. 520." She glances up at him with a smile. "You'd look dashing with it, I think." Laslow nods. “I do happen to like my face where it is.” Returns her smile. “You’re far too sweet to be dealing with the likes of those ruffians, buttercup! Aww, you truly think so? May I try it on?” He also gestures to corrin, beckoning her closer. “My friend holds all the coins—she doesn’t trust me not to spend it all in one place.” He totally 100% “””accidentally””” lets their fingers brush Tests the balance/etc “It’s perfect! Thank you, darling. Say, can you tell me a little more about this town? We were headed for Grannvale when we were waylaid by a nasty storm.” "About Nahan? Not much to say. This village has always earned its keep from the sea. Been brought very nearly to ruin a couple times, but we've fared better than other parts of the country. You've come at a good time. It's the best it's ever been in these parts." “I’m included to agree, since I met you,” he says, fixing the sword to his belt. “Any word on that church? Sailors, of course, are full of superstitions, but one can never be to careful these days, eh?” At mention of the Church of Loptous, the woman's demeanor suddenly changes. She retracts from from Laslow with a mixture of fear and surprise. "Why are you asking about them?" She shakes her head. "No. No. Nothing. And that's the way it should stay, here." He holds his hands up in retreat “I’m so sorry, my darling. It was all the talk of the sailors. Thank you ever so kindly for all your help. Perhaps we should go out for tea some time, yeah?” She still seems visibly fluster, but the offer of tea seems to smooth things over a little. She laughs and calls him sweet, but ultimately declines because she does in fact have a husband. But Laslow is quite the handsome young thing.

The sword is a familiar weight at his hip on the walk back. He's still blushing by the time they all meet up in their room again.

[kieran-granola]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @ladytauria! Thank you, bb ❤️

How many works do you have on AO3?

46 total, with 1 of them being @generatorcat way more than mine!

What’s your total A03 word count?

276,196.

What fandoms do you write for?

DC only on this account! I keep my obsessions separate haha

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pretty (3,335 kudos) -> My beloved first long child that I'm hoping to post the next chapter of some time in January! Aka dysmorphic JayTim mutual pining feat accidental bonding

Whiskers and Wonder Boys (2,993 kudos) -> Adorable baby boyfriends! Or the story of Robin Jason saving Selkie Tim from starvation

The Best Taste in Omegas (2,713 kudos) -> The one in which omega hormones are catnip for children, and Jason keeps finding stray kids in his nests.

The House Always Wins (2,622 kudos) -> Top Dom Tim Wrecks Jason's Ass After Winning a Bet: The Story.

Mother Knows Best  (2,107 kudos) -> The reason why I will never beat the mommy kink allegations, aka Jason overcoming his kink shame with Dom Tim's help.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

As much as I'm able to! I love to receive comments so I try my best to answer, but sometimes time just runs from me and it's either answering comments or writing.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Little Do You Know! This is a dark gaslighting fic, feat Bruce bitching Robin Jason without his knowledge or consent.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Thicker than Water? JayTim end up happily married with children, both of them immortal vampires.

Do you get hate on your fic?

Not really? I've gotten some "I wish you'd write this", or some misguided comments but not hate.

Do you write smut?

Yeah.

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I am Not A Fan.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Several times! Podfics too. It never stops blowing me away 💕💕

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yep! Speaking of, I really need to get to editing Trust Fall again. Sorry @themandylion

What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

I have SO MANY ships across too many fandoms, but if I have to pick a ship in DC... It would actually be BruJay. Sorry JayTim nation, I'm a sham 😂

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I genuinely want to finish Dead to Rights, but I paused it indefinitely when I got pregnant, and I won't pick it back up until the topic of difficult pregnancies/risk of miscarriage stops squicking me out. I love it a lot, and there's a lot I want to say there, but the Creature will need to grow a bit bigger before I'm comfy writing it again.

What’s your writing strengths?

Uh. No idea, actually. I feel like I struggle with everything haha. Possibly writing banter? Not sure...

What’s your writing weaknesses?

EVERYTHING, if you ask me. Though the thing I struggle with the most is endings. It is SO HARD to find a good stopping point that doesn't ring hollow.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Not a full dialogue. A couple of sentences at most. I mean, I'm a native French speaker, so I could do a full conversation, but honestly I find it so unpleasant to read I wouldn't put it in my works.

First fandom you wrote for?

The Untamed 😊

Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh God, that's such a hard question. I love all of my babies for different reasons. But I guess it's a toss up between Pretty and... Well. The unposted steampunk t4t JayTim WIP.

I am tagging anyone who wants to do this, as well as (no pressure) @bi-bats, @skalidra, @thenaphorism, and @beemotionpicture

[bigskydreaming]

Doing some writing today off and on between errands and work, and jumping around various Kings of the Sky installments, specifically Dick, Jason and Cass stuff, so probably gonna post snippets from a bunch of them as I go. 

(Kings of the Sky is an AU that goes canon divergent from the point of Jason calling Dick for advice for dealing with Bruce after the Garzonas case and where things end up going dramatically different from that point on. Including Jason not dying, being part of his own lineup of Titans between Dick and Tim’s, Dick being adopted not long after the Church of Blood incident, Cass being the third Wayne kid to be taken in and adopted and with Tim and Duke being next and then Damian coming along later once they find out about him. This is basically my ‘the family’s alright’ AU with largely ‘Good Dad Bruce’ except for Dick and then Jason yelling some sense into him about the other, respectively, in the first two installments, just FYI).

Anyway, this bit is from a story called “In Their Shadows Grow Trees Of Good and Evil,” set about a year after Cass has been adopted, when she and Jason are both sixteen and Dick’s twenty-one. Also just FYI, because canon has never been specific about what ways Cass is neurodivergent due to the comic-book style ‘rewiring’ of her brain so that she could learn to speak later in life, I tend to go with her being dyslexic and having aphasia. She sticks exclusively to sign language and being a silent presence in her costumed personas, so that there’s no chance of people connecting the dots between Black Bat and Cassandra Wayne, as she mostly speaks verbally in her civilian persona and doesn’t hide her aphasia. The reason there’s not likely to be any obvious signs of aphasia in the snippets of her I post is because I wait until I complete something to choose words at random to replace with aphasia-born mixups, so its more realistic and I’m not gearing her dialogue towards deliberately placed moments. Just in case you were wondering.

In Their Shadows Grow Trees of Good and Evil

“Hey Todd,” sneered an exquisitely obnoxious voice. “Why’s your sister so fucking weird?”

Jason sighed the sigh of a soul a mere century into its eternity of damnation as he rose from the lunch table he’d been studying at and crammed the rest of his books into his backpack. Then he pasted a cheerfully bland smile on his face and turned around, geared for academia warfare (teenage prep school edition).

“Hey Craig,” he said brightly. “Why’d you come out of the womb so ugly your parents had to tie a piece of steak around your neck just to get the family dog to go near you? Mysteries abound.”

The advancing junior slowed a step, momentarily rocked by his truly impressive return volley. The grimace Craig’s already gargoyle-esque features twisted into made his face even more unpleasant to look at than usual, which was quite the feat. Jason would have applauded if just looking at it hadn’t already turned him to stone.

But the bargain basement basilisk kept on towards him rather than turn tail and skulk off to pop his emotional blisters, so Jason sighed a sequel to his first one. Looked like it was one of those days where Craig felt up to powering through. Guess someone had eaten their self-esteem Wheaties that morning. Joy.

“You think you’re pretty hot shit, don’t you, Todd?”

Jason shrugged. “I mean, to be honest I kinda have a one track mind, so right now I��m mostly just thinking about punching you in your mistake.”

“My what?”

“Your face,” Jason elaborated with exaggerated patience.

“Huh?”

“Oh my god, I’m saying your face is a mistake. See, its not as fun when I have to stop and explain it to you. Ugh, you ruin everything.”

He neatly sidestepped the older boy as R2-Dumbass stayed frozen, smoke coming off of his internal CPU while trying to catch up. For a second Jason thought he was home free, but then he remembered the universe fucking hated him so haha, sucks to suck. Also, a small crowd had gathered to witness the verbal jousting match, and nothing invigorated an asshole like Craig more than an audience of like-minded peers. So there was that too.

“Whatever. Laugh it up all you want, you little shit,” the junior rallied. “But just remember, mocking your betters will never change the fact that you were born street trash and you’ll be street trash until the day you die.”

Honestly? Not his best effort. Jason almost felt bad using any of his good material. Seemed like overkill at this point. But he did have a strict Scorched Earth policy to maintain, so.....

“Yeah but my dad could buy out and ruin your dad so that means I still win, right?”

He smirked as the barb landed and Craig’s face set into a sunset vista of strangled purple and furious red. Bam. Direct hit.

“Listen, you - “

“Oh for fuck’s sake, it was rhetorical,” Jason interrupted. “I don’t actually care what you think even a little bit. Nobody does. You don’t matter. Please go be irrelevant elsewhere, you’re fucking dismissed, you loser.”

“Speak for yourself, charity case.” Oh goodie, Craig’s backup singers had finally arrived. Now if only he could remember to care enough to learn their names in the first place. Seriously, who told the extras they could have lines? “All the jokes in the world can’t change who and what you are.”

Jason shrugged and continued nonchalantly up the hill to where his sister was standing with arms crossed, staring down at something on the other side.

“True genius is never appreciated in its own time,” he tossed back over his shoulder. “I’m sure I’ll be immortalized in song eventually.”

The mob of morons deigned to let him go without further incident. Though he suspected that had less to do with his scathing wit and more to do with him being headed towards Cass. She was immaculately presented as always, wearing the Gotham Academy uniform like she was born to it despite hating its uncomfortable stiffness every bit as much as he did. But that was just Cass for you. 

For all that she still struggled at times to engage verbally or speak up in social settings, her mastery of body language remained without peer. She could chameleon-camouflage her way into matching poise and posture with anyone - a skill that had allowed her to walk into school on her very first day with her head held high as though she owned everything in her sight. Exuding so much Queen Bee Intimidation Factor even the other hive queens were afraid to approach her  themselves. Sending forth their drones to try and woo her into an alliance, only to see her remain oh-so-casually above it all, a slightly contemptuous smile adorning her lips.

Basically, she scared the shit out of their classmates without them having anywhere close to a true understanding of why, and Jason was outrageously jealous. Rude. Unfair. Why did his siblings always get all the cool toys when all he had was his rakish charm, scintillating intellect and debonair.....nah, who was he kidding. He was fucking awesome. 

“Sup, sis,” he said, cresting the hill to stand beside Cass. “Just FYI, I just took a popularity bullet for you, which means you owe me your dessert tonight. Its a family rule that’s totally a real thing and definitely not something I just made up right now because Alf is making chocolate soufflé.”

She made no acknowledgment and remained stock still, a Colossus at Rhodes peering down into the shifting shadows of the parking lot below.

He peered down as well, though with absolutely no idea what they were looking at. Solidarity, yo.

“So are we staring fixedly at anything in particular, or should I just pick my own spot and commit?”

His humor was totally wasted on her as always. Instead of laughing and telling him what a lovable goof he was, she just inclined her head in the direction of a blonde girl where she was standing next to the driver’s side door of a Mercedes-Benz, dictating final commandments to her peons before departing. Well, probably. Jason was just guessing, based on his own body language reads, and like, general disdain for literally everyone at this school that wasn’t related to him.

He made a face. An extra special one reserved just for this classmate in particular. “Ugh, Madison Dunleavy? She’s the worst.”

Cass raised a cool eyebrow. “I thought Craig Hendricks was the worst.”

“He is. They’re both the worst. Its a hotly contested position here at Gotham Academy.”

She rolled her eyes and nodded back down at the Queen of Air and Darkness. “So. You know her?”

“Nope,” Jason said. “Come to think of it, I’ve actually never seen her in my life. No idea who that is. Can’t help you, sorry. Shall we go home?”

The Eyebrow of Inquisition speared him with clear intent. Who the fuck needed words when you could pack the Encyclopedia Britannica into a single facial expression?

Jason sighed gustily. 

“I had a slight altercation with her freshman year that led to her declaring her undying enmity for me until the end of time. The word nemesis may or may not have been thrown around once or twice. I can’t recall.”

The Eyebrow of Inquisition lowered nary an inch. Ugh, she wanted more? Why did everyone in his family hate privacy, with the obvious exclusion of himself when snooping through Cass and Dick’s rooms for blackmail material, which was actually intel-gathering and thus another matter entirely.

“Okay so basically what happened was my first week here I overheard her talking shit about me and not even twenty minutes later she was pretending to kiss my ass in homeroom, like probably because of Bruce, y’know? So I just busted out laughing and told her to fuck off and die and she has inexplicably loathed me ever since.”

Avoiding further Eyebrow Inquisition-ing, he made a show of peering around aimlessly. When the silence extended and it was clear Cass was absolutely not going to break first, Jason waved a hand in dismissal and took to peering oh so casually at his fingernails. "I suppose I was less tactful back in those days.”

He chanced a look up, finally, and saw his sister’s eyebrow had somehow managed to mighty morphin power ranger its way into a configuration evoking both judgment and disbelief, with the latter perhaps aimed at the idea he was significantly differing in the tact department these days either.

“I don’t love the implications your face is making right now,” he told her.

She ignored him, because of course she did. 

“Does she know Dick?” She asked instead. Jason shrugged.

“I mean, maybe? She’s probably seen him around at one of those stupid galas we have to go to, and actually I think maybe she has an older brother who was either in Dick’s grade or like, one above or below it? I don’t know.”

Now both eyebrows were doing the dance of disbelief. Okay, so maybe that was poor situational awareness on his part, since it wasn’t like Gotham Academy was a big school with a ton of other kids and also he’d only been in the same class as Madison for like over two whole years, but whatever. There were extingent circumstances.

“Look, she’s a total snob who’s always looked down on me and in return I willfully ignore both her existence and that of everyone and everything even tangentially related to her. Its called equality, Cass.”

She pursed her lips and went back to the peering, because of course in the mind of Cass it made total sense that the Grand Inquisition didn’t need to be followed up by any explanation on her part, what the hell. Like was he supposed to have inferred it?

“What’s this all about anyway?”

“I heard her talking about Dick earlier,” she said without peeling her eyes away from her personal recon mission. “I don’t know what she said though, I just heard her say Grayson, and then I was busy looking at what her body was saying. I know it was about Dick because she shut down when she saw me. And I didn’t like the way she....looked....before that happened. The way she was talking. It was.....”

Jason frowned but held back any follow-up questions while he waited - with total patience because he wasn’t an absolute cad, thank you very much - for his sister to find the word she was hunting for. It was a major source of frustration for her, that whatever neural map her brain followed put body language and spoken language in totally different regions of her brain, separated by a fairly great divide. Meaning she usually had to make a conscious choice to focus on body language or conventional languages - whether verbal or sign. But it tended to be one or the other; she’d yet to master taking in and comprehending both forms of ‘language’ at the same time. And none of them had quite figured out how to convince her that she wasn’t actually missing anything when she chose to focus on one specific form of communication - that she was still observing far more than most people ever would.

“Proprietary,” Cass settled on at last. She nodded her satisfaction with her choice of word, and Jason waited a whole two point five seconds before sticking  his whole foot in his mouth.

“Proprietary?” He asked with a scrunched nose as he weighed that for possible context and implications. “You sure?”

She glared. He winced. It was a whole thing.

“Yeah, I know, sorry, sorry, I heard it the second it was out of my mouth. We don’t actually have to experiment with the legitimacy of if looks could kill.”

Cass rolled her eyes, but eh. That could’ve gone worse.

Jason swiftly redirected attention anyway. Discretion is the better part of valor, after all.

“So. The Queen of Air and Darkness was talking about our big bro, and her mood was.....proprietary, huh?” He recapped while digesting the info like a boss. “Well. Definitely not loving that, I gotta say. Hold please.”

Pulling out his phone and pulling up his most recent texts, he began typing furiously.

“What are you doing?” Cass asked.

“Texting Tom,” he replied, because duh. Hah, now it was his chance to have the answers that should be patently obvious and thus make with the ‘are you kidding me’ when she asked obvious questions she should know the answer to! How do you like them apples, sis?

“Why are you texting your boyfriend right now?”

Jason rolled his eyes, because fair is fair, but never ceased texting for a moment. Time was of the essence here, probably. Well, maybe. Okay probably not. But it’d still been like half an hour since he and Tom had last texted and that’s a very fucking long time in teenage years.

“To be our getaway driver tonight, obviously.”

She stared at him. He didn’t look up, but he could feel it anyway. He was very intuitive like that.

“What?”

Jason heaved another sigh, one keyed to tones of ‘oh my god, do I really have to spell this out,” exasperation. He was just racking up the bonus points here. It was really too bad this wasn’t an actual competition he could actually win and this was all just pettiness taking place wholly in his own head. Lame. 

“Well, clearly we now have to go snoop in Madison’s house aka lair to see if its actually a house or a full on lair. Because she’s either a creeper or like, legit evil, and its important to know which one before we proceed, because obviously we can only bust her for being a weird creeper about our brother as Jason and Cass, whereas if she’s legit evil, that’s gotta go down as Robin and Black Bat. I’ll handle the snooping, you’ll take look-out, but we still need a wheelman and that’s why I’m texting Tom. This is all very mission-oriented, okay. I’m a professional.”

“Right,” she affirmed, while sounding anything but convinced. “Why don’t we just tell Bruce?”

Without looking up or breaking stride, he said: “I’m going to give you til I finish typing this sentence to figure out what was wrong with what you just said. Remember that we are talking about hypothetical danger to our brother, and also Bruce’s idea of a proportionate response to any of his children being in even hypothetical danger. And also our brother’s idea of a proportionate response to Bruce’s idea of a proportionate response. Look, you’re still new so I’m gonna need you to just trust me on this one. Its gonna be a no on telling Bruce without further intel.”

Cass said nothing in response to that, which meant that she was conceding the point and recognized the wisdom of his words. Or maybe that she was just gonna go ahead and do what she wanted anyway and just wasn’t bothering to fight about it, but it was probably that first thing.

“Well you better not just make out with your boyfriend all night,” is what she said at last, and that got his attention reeeeeal quick like.

“Umm. Wow. Okay. So, first off, you’re not the boss of me and who I make out with and when, so jot that down. And second, now I’m definitely going to make out with my boyfriend extra hard, with the exception of when we are actually on our recon mission because as previously established, I am a professional. And also, again, you’re not the boss of me.”

Jason ignored her Eye Roll With Extra Emphasis, and instead just held up his phone to Text With Extra Emphasis, as he read along with what he was typing.

“By the way babe, we have to make out extra hard tonight,” he said, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth while he dragged out his dictation with the kind of focus that usually led to Bruce asking why he couldn’t apply as much intensity to training as he did to pettiness. “Cass has suddenly decided she can dictate terms to me and I need to shut that shit down ASAP, so thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter. Smoochies and other gay stuff to the best boyfriend ever.”

Jason frowned as a response pinged back seconds later. 

TheCatsMeow: ....the things I put up with for the sake of your weird family dynamics.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Yeah, yeah. You’re a saint among were-panthers. Must you mock? Why can’t you just tell me I’m pretty instead?

TheCatsMeow: Sorry. Let me try again. OMG you’re so pretty Jase how did I get so lucky xoxo.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: No. Its too late. It feels forced and unbelievable now. You’ve ruined it forever.

TheCatsMeow: Got it. From now on I will only tell you that you’re repulsive and hideous.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: I’m breaking up with you.

TheCatsMeow: But after I help you with your mission tonight.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Obvsly. I’m a professional. Why do people keep forgetting this?

TheCatsMeow: And also the making out to spite your sister.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Yeah we should do that first too. I mean we already penciled it in.

[writtenbyhappynerds]

Unit 9: Don’t Like, Don’t Read

     Welcome to the last unit of Fanfiction 101. We saved this for last because it is most applicable at this time. As well as the notion of, “don’t like, don’t read,” we are going to discuss criticism as a whole, commenting, secondary readers, and plagiarism. Let’s jump into it.

     There is only one true example where the idea of, ‘Don’t like, don’t read,’ is a valid claim and that is in fetish fanfiction. If you are writing smut or fanfic that is meant to serve a specific fetish/kink, then put that in the description and then you can inform the reader that if it isn’t their cup of tea they shouldn’t read it. That is the only time this comment is valid because not everyone is actively seeking out Johnlock BDSM or inflation porn. Everything else, from opinion pieces to serious fanfiction is fair game to be critiqued because we as writers are putting it out on a public platform. If you put something online it is unrealistic of you as a writer to expect no one to ever try and tell you what could be wrong with it. It is also on us as writers to acknowledge that every idea we have isn’t a gem. They’re not all winners, and a story that you’ve written perfectly in your head may not translate well on paper. It is on you to grow and adapt the narrative to become even better.

     Criticism is not a bad thing. There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate, and hate is usually along the lines of, “this is stupid. You’re a terrible writer.” Because we post things on a public platform we have to be able to take criticism, which gives you the opportunity to grow as a writer. Feedback from your audience allows you to become better at your craft because writing is not a talent. It is a skill, and it is one that improves only by rewriting and editing over and over again until you get it right. I understand that it’s sometimes difficult to get feedback though because it requires work on the reader’s end as well as the author.

     To readers, if you are anxious about commenting or feel bad about critiquing someone’s work in a public post, message them privately. The authors are hungry for criticism. Every comment on Fanfiction 101 I have replied to; for everything from the comments on the exams to the comments on the units themselves because clarifying and aiding and taking in feedback makes not only these courses, but my writing capabilities better. I understand how readers think and the positive comments of, ‘This is amazing!’ or ‘I like this already’ are nice to see but they don’t tell the author how to make a story more enjoyable. Personally, if I critique someone’s story I’ll message them privately, tell them I’ve read one of their pieces, and that I have some notes. Now, sometimes it goes over very well and you feel a friendly bond with the person whose work you’re critiquing. When I comment on a piece, it’s because I want it to succeed and I want it to be even better than it is. Sometimes, you get blocked, as I recently did, because the author isn’t emotionally available to accept that there are issues with their work. It happens. It’s water off a duck’s back, and you move on knowing you did what you could to try and help. This leads me to a specific aside:

     It is not okay to make fun of another author’s work. To all my readers, do not say that you won’t name a specific work to protect the identity of the writer, but then give me enough context clues that I can find the fanfiction on Google. That is not okay. Making fun of someone else’s fanfic is just mean. I was writing and posting fanfic when I was a sophomore in high school. A lot of fanfiction writers are young kids/teens, and they don’t deserve that. I will come for you if I see you making fun of someone’s fanfic. That isn’t constructive. It isn’t helpful, it’s just mean.

     Your fanfiction may sound really great to you the writer because in your head you can see it play or pan out. Sometimes you the author can see the whole narrative in your head and it’s just a matter of putting it down on paper. I’ve been there. I see you. I myself usually write endings as quickly as I can so I have an event or thing to work towards. However, your audience isn’t reading your fanfiction with all the context you’ve given each scene in your head in mind. There is a solution. I detest the term ‘beta readers.’ The lovely lady working on Fanfiction 101 has read every story I’ve ever written that’s been publicly posted since the beginning. This is because she has read a lot of fanfiction, and knows what’s been done before and what hasn’t. I would never designate her as a beta reader because her voice and input in these stories help shape them just as much as I do writing them. Hence, she has and always will be, the Editor. The first person to read. Your first reader or critic doesn’t need to necessarily know what fandom you’re writing for. When your editor knows the fandom, they can provide a second set of eyes regarding the continuity or characterization of the main cast. When I tried to write Agents of SHIELD fanfic back in the day, I got my ass handed to me on both those things time and time again by the Editor. There are several questions you can ask your first reader. To apply them, they are questions we will ask you about Fanfiction 101:

1. When did you feel that the narrative was lagging? This can help you find the more boring sections. As far as self-editing goes, your readers will feel what you feel. If you feel that something is dragging, the readers can pick up on that. If you don’t care about what you’re putting out you can’t expect the readers to care.

2. Did you notice any inconsistencies in the characters or the plot, times, or places? Consistency is key. If you have stated a truth or law of the world or principal for a character you should stick with it.

3. How did the balance of dialogue and description feel? Or, for stories like Fanfiction 101 the balance of examples and information. Some stories are dialogue-heavy, others are description-heavy and there should be a happy balance to avoid the dreaded, ‘show-don’t tell.’

4. Did you ever get confused as to who is speaking? This can help you figure out if you need to make a character’s voice more distinct, or if you need to add additional tags to let the reader keep track.

5. Were there any parts that confused or frustrated you? If so, what are they and why? On the flip side, are there any parts that made you laugh or that you enjoyed, and why?

     Take one of these questions and answer it in your own words in the comments. This can give me and the Editor feedback on how to improve our writing. These questions aren’t written law. You don’t have to ask them when your secondary readers look over your work. However, someone who is not you should be reading your stories before you publish. You’ll catch lots of mistakes and flaws that way. Look to the people you trust; the people who will tell you what’s good. If you’re uncomfortable with having someone read your stories, read them to yourself out loud. You will catch your own mistakes, much like you’ll catch uncomfortable dialogue. If you desperately need a secondary reader, slide into my DMs. The Editor and I will happily take a look.

     Super long author’s notes or author’s notes in the middle of work are unprofessional and tiresome. If you do intend on having author’s notes, limit yourself to a maximum of 3 sentences. The readers are not going to read author’s notes that are incredibly long, and the Editor and I have encountered author’s notes that are longer than the actual chapter. That’s too much breaking of the third wall. Notes like, “didn’t have time to check the spelling/grammar lolzr sorry!” Get Grammarly. It’s free. Notes in the middle of the text take the reader out of the immersion and show me as a reader that you aren’t confident enough to convey what you want to. My Immortal is filled with author’s notes smack dab in the middle of the text. Don’t be like My Immortal. If we’ve taught you anything, be better than My Immortal.

     Finally, let’s talk about plagiarism. Fanfiction is copywritten work. Sometimes very very popular stories will be copied almost word for word. Or, the premise is the exact same and only the character has changed. This is not okay. It’s fine to read a story and be super impressed, but you don’t have the right to copy someone’s work. Another thing that isn’t cute is pretending you have no idea what someone’s talking about. If your story opens with the main character fighting a Minotaur and killing it with its own horn, don’t lie to the audience and pretend that you’ve never read the Percy Jackson series. The readers are not stupid, don’t treat them as such. If you are inspired by another work or story, link the original at the end.

     So that’s it. Next week we will post the final exam of Fanfiction 101. It’s comprehensive, covering all 9 units. The Editor and I want to first and foremost thank everyone for sticking with us and coming back every Sunday to see what we have to say. From two people who have read and written a lot of fanfiction, we wanted to share our knowledge and help whomever we could with simple mistakes and errors. Thank you, for reading. Our final exam is next week, and we will have one more post to discuss the future of Fanfiction 101. We’ll see you then.

[gayregis]

sleipnirlo replied to your post “bro if im this petty about how they treat dandelion think about how...”

I feel you friend - from what we've got already, whatever they're doing to Dandelion/Jaskier seems... not ideal, to put it gracefully, and it pains me quite a bit, but if/when they get to Regis... considering the pain in my heart during some parts of b&w, having in mind that I generally believe cdpr's interpretation to be proper (aside from some jarring mistakes) it's going to be a completely another level of ridiculousness on my part; like,, I know it's most probably not possible for the show to meet my standards, but pls... just... get SOMETHING right...

I came to feel so protective of this particular vampire, and people not familiar with the books knowing him as a caricature of himself fills me with dread

tbh my main hope for regis if/when they get to him is that they don’t shy away from making him complicated. he’s kind, also ominous, also funnie … to summarize: shitty old bitch. 

b&w did this thing where they just made regis a very solemn character and also made him closer to the typical arrogant immortal which was just ooc imho... and then they created a new plotline that revolved around him being Uncontrollably Violent for a few seconds which.......... like i just found it SO disrespectful to how regis’s backstory is an analogy for alcoholism/addiction in general........ they literally did the opposite of humanizing him, they uh... monsterfied him? 

regis’s entire character (like geralt’s, and also the rest of the hansa’s) is about paradox and logistical impossibilities. if you’re this, you can’t be that -- but he’s both, for some fucking reason, he defies logic. 

regis is supposed to thread this weird line of what is man and what is monster, and if you’re kind for a century does that make up for three centuries of absolute cruelty? what does it mean to act honorably? at what point can you feel safe and trust someone? 

one thing i appreciate about regis’s character is that he’s always just seemed to go BEYOND his context in the fictional world he exists in. at the end of the day, these characters are not the people we love them to be, but rather messages about what ARE good and evil, what IS humanity, and other deep questions the witcher loves to tackle. within the books, i got a VERY clear sense of how regis as a character was answering these questions and the kind of messages sapkowski was trying to communicate with him. same with the rest of the hansa, in fact. that’s... why... the hansa and ciri and yennefer are my favorites...

to contrast, in blood & wine, i didn’t get this sense of existing beyond the context of the media at all. cdpr just wanted cool vampires which is fine, but the elements of the books are lost because they just gave them up

(wow this got long sorry! i just wanted to explain my thought process behind this list im about to give) 

as for netflix.............. i don’t necessarily think that regis is easy or difficult to cover. but IN MY OPINION nailing these things would help out regis’s character the best:

we should feel safe. one of the things that struck me so hard when reading baptism of fire was how much i initially trusted regis when they found him in that stupid graveyard, despite being well-familiar with the adage of “stranger danger.” he just seemed safe to me. 

this is probably because of how eloquent he is and how omniscient he has the ability to come off as..... so good writing for his dialogue that captures his superfluous nature, that isn’t just what cdpr did where “funny smart guy use big words unnecessarily” ... no, you need to put effort into it by having him use words of an intermediate vocabulary, but using them in such a way as to philosophize about everything and anything that comes up. 

this also relies heavily on how regis delivers his lines when they first meet him. all of his dialogue cues are like, “said softly,” “said gently.” there’s NO aggression, no harm in this man. no reason to fear him.

the atmosphere of his cottage should really communicate this wonderful sense of bucolic bliss, as it were.... the intoxicating heavy scent of herbs... the only lighting in the cottage being fro a pot-bellied stove........ remember, geralt describes this as having could have come directly from a fairytale. in contrast, fen carn should feel ominous, until his appearance.

costume design! don’t forget the apron wrapped around his black coat, please! who can fear a man in an apron?

we should feel suspicious. we SHOULD still feel like he’s harboring some kind of dark secret, though. 

there are so many little clues and points in baptism of fire that hint at his identity, that just should NOT be cut out or overlooked: him being able to detect the healing brokilon medicines in geralt’s sweat, when he refuses the drink politely and says softly, “it’s a matter of principle. i never violate the principles i set for myself,” the dipping into a conversation to name every type of vampire that exists......... the sense that he knows just a little too much to be only who he says he is.

cahir and dandelion making guesses as to who he ‘really’ is shouldn’t be cut out, either. i think their guesses are conduits for the audience to attach onto as we make our own guesses and theories within this short amount of time.

we should feel fear. oh so cdpr wanted crazy ass vampires? well don’t worry, because regis is a crazy ass vampire. but how to get this through to the audience, when he’s not off his shits anymore because it’s the 13th century and not the 9th? it’s going to need to come mostly from geralt. 

they should emphasize the tension in the scene by the yaruga where geralt has his blade to regis’s throat by having geralt’s lines be delivered in a very precise, careful manner. he shouldn’t be furious and dripping with adrenaline, ready to fight regis. he needs to be wary, conserved. we need to sense apprehension to engage in conflict, because he knows that he would likely lose the fight... which will freak the audience out, because asides from that bit with djikstra, geralt up until this point has been pretty powerful and undefeated, i mean we just saw him cleave his way through a fuckton of scoiatel at thanedd (that bit with torque in edge of the world was more for comedic relief imho)

on a related note, the scene where milva and dandelion have doubts about regis and ask geralt for advice, and geralt answers with a laundry list of all the things regis can do and says for himself that he doesn’t know if he could kill him....... that shouldn’t be cut and should strike some fear into our hearts.

regis shouldn’t be devoid of humor. he has his own sense of weird humor...

please keep the fucking pun in: “the immortal soul (...) abandons the stinking carcass and spirits away, forgive the pun.” i think this demonstrates how he has this kind of skewed sense of humor, that serious philosophical topics aren’t dull to him... rather they are exciting and full of riveting debate and also, jokes

that really long conversation with geralt where he concludes with “but i’ll give you some advice anyways: life differs from banking somewhat,” and in the fish soup scene where he really makes fun of geralt as well... but really the whole company should do this

don’t make him an asshole

he should be self-sacrificing for humanity. he should protect the girl in the refugee camp with the utmost conviction... i think this part is kind of easier because regis’s pure actions in the books are enough to demonstrate how committed to humanity he is, unlike cdpr which just made shit up and it went sour because their shit was all like “oh haha humans are so weak and i dont get why they dislike death :/”

tldr: don’t cut shit because even the smallest details add to the larger picture, make a cool atmosphere, paradox of safety and fear. you’re welcome

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Soul Eater: A New Madness Consumes?

Next, @emiralnova (Ryu on Discord) stopped in to talk about her Resbang, Soul Eater: A New Madness Consumes? Here’s some of what went down:

Q: What made you think of the plot? Did you know how you were going to end it before you started writing? (I really loved the canceling out concept).

Ryu: Lolololol what is plot? I didn’t have too much of a plan going in. I had their mission sorta laid out, but after the mission I winged it. I feel that writing this was a tad difficult because I wanted to stay in canon and omg never again lol, but it was really fun and satisfying towards the end.

Q: Do you feel like your writing style grew/improved while writing? Was there anything you wish you could have included or that you cut out?

Ryu: I think I improved a little just by the act of writing, which I need to do more of, lol. And I think it was jaded who mentioned “what happened to Maka's christmas gift?” and that kinda got lost in the end, my bad lol.

Q: Do you have any favorite beta comments you’d like to share?

Ryu: Omg there was one thing that marsh said: 'Be the laxative Soul.'

Q: Was music important to your process at all, and if so, are there any songs/playlists that were relevant?

Ryu: I tend to not listen to music when I write cause it distracts me. Unless it fits the mood I need. But usually, no music.

Q: What are you most proud of in this bang?

Ryu: I think I’m really proud of what I did with the mission to the moon and rescuing Crona. Like, I had to plan out what I wanted and it was like a few days before posting, so I crunched it out. And I pulled the whole cancel out and 8 kishin horcruxes out of my ass, but it worked out.

Q: What are you working on next?

Ryu: I am working on nothing writing-related atm.

Q: Was there anything in mind that you wanted to do with the Christmas gift? :0 Like, if the notion hadn't slipped away?

Ryu:  I sorta wanted a more romantic scene to happen and it was supposed to happen before Maka collapsed. But that scene ran away from me so it didn’t work out ^^"

Q: Okay your villain was so interesting, how did you come up with that concept?

Ryu: Oh, the wizard. So like during my first Resbang, I had a dream that basically took place in Brazil at the monolith and there was a guy that was there and was speaking mysterious words to Maka, and that is sorta what I pulled on the entire first mission. His design is slightly based on that one antagonist in BNHA. Slade? Shade? I forgot his name. STAIN, HIM.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/263055402583851008/409538871441883138/tumblr_o9sua1jpR61vux8v6o3_400.gif

Ryu: Like his posture and hair and skin were the same. [He’s] maybe less thug and more old and evil.

Q: What's your writing process like?

Ryu: I definitely work better when I plot out my shit point by point, so if I were to deviate, it can happen but at least I had a point for the scene. And it was hard cause of laziness buttt the checkins really helped me decide what would actually happen.

Q: Is there anything you wish you could change?

Ryu: I kinda wished I had more time so that I could maybe have a better ending. I feel like the cancelling out was good for the circumstances, but it felt like cheating to me, but it largely worked out and I was ok with it.

Q: Why the amazon?

Ryu: Hmm idk. I think the guy I liked at the time was half Brazilian so I just… made it so. But it wasn’t done in the fandom yet, so I felt that Brazil was a safe place to host my mission. And I also pictured tons of trees and tropical areas. So… Brazil.

Q: Who is the Wizard? Does he have a real name? Is he actually Mabaa's brother?

Ryu: I didn’t have a real name for him. And it’s rumored but not confirmed, like I said in the fic.

Q: Do you think your view on characters changed or anything as you wrote?

Ryu: I felt like I was stretching Maka’s mindset during her fall out but it was okay? I think? Whenever I think of Maka, I tend to imagine her as like this brave, no nonsense sorta girl that wouldn't really let her emotions hold her back? At least that is what I struggled with this whole fic. But I think I did the best I could to try to make it realistic, and I think that sort of helped balance Soul out because he seemed to be the most put-together of the two. And I sorta drew my inspo from the sloth chapter from the manga to help me cement some of Maka's guilt.

Q: Did you have a fav moment in the fic. Mine is def chew toy Soul.

Ryu: Omg I love that part. I feel like my favorite part would be Crona and Maka reuniting. I think I teared up a little writing that scene. I felt guilty about Rag. Like, I wanted to save him too, but the black blood held me back.

Q: I really liked that he did the good thing in the end though. Like, he actually gave a shit.

Ryu: I struggled with that at first cause I didn't just want to get rid of him for no reason other than the blood thinning or something. I think it would've redeemed his character a little, so I was really happy with that. The ending for me somehow pulled itself together at the last minute lol.

Q: Were there any parts you had to rewrite? :0 And if so, why?

Ryu: Ughhh so the fic started with Spartoi waking up as animals??? That was the original beginning, and that was supposed to lead into the Brazil mission. But when I started to plot the story out, the story turned out much darker than I intended and so the beginning didn't fit anymore. So i had to start from scratch. At some point I wanted to rewrite first half so that the story became more linear than having the flashback, but I didn't have time for it. ^^" I did rewrite some paragraphs, but that was basic editing. I found that later, when I was in the writing process, there were some passages that were weak and long, so I cut a lot of stuff out, and rewrote them to fit the tone.

Q: Was there a scene that was your least fave to write?

Ryu: I feel like the Death Room meetings dragged me, but I had to do it. Also I have a thing where the death room is the place to spam info into dialogue. So in the future, I kinda want to deviate from the room for more nuanced info dumps

Q: I love that you dealt with witch relations and all those post canon dynamics, was that always the plan?

Ryu: i sort of wanted to play with all the things that happened after the manga happened, so it just worked out that the witches were there and I was dealing with magic/kishin stuff lol. And that Kid would need to prove himself somehow. I think Kid ended up being more of a central character than I intended, but he is a Shinigami after all lol. I wish I did more with Black Star and Tsubaki, but I have trouble writing them. ^^"

Q: What would you have done with B*S and Tsu, any ideas? :0

Ryu: Hmmm, I wish i could've used them as more plot devices instead of comic relief. Like maybe Black Star could've been more involved with... idk, something serious lololol. In which then Tsubaki would also come into play. I figured if anything, he would at least be there to give some advice and common sense in a funny way :D

Q: How did you come up with the whole cutting up Asura thing? And btw I love that it's acknowledged in fic how gruesome it is.

Ryu: Hmm I’m not sure how it happened but I knew I needed something to happen to Asura once he fell, and my instant reaction was 'cut him up into pieces.' We needed some blood in here, and the spreading it across everywhere sorta made sense as well to me. I didn't intend for it to be like 7 horcruxes, but it [was]. Whoopsss, sorry JKR lol. So yeah, it was mostly a kneejerk reaction. Because if the skin bag didn't work, well ok, let’s cut him up then lol. And he's immortal as well, so Kid had to do something!

Q: Do you think you'll do Resbang next year or any other big projects? :D It sounds like you grew and learned so much from it!

Ryu: I don’t have any active plans. I do have a few AUs on a list but they're hard affffff. Like Evangelion AU. That universe is like a trip and a half, so I don’t think I’m ready for that yet lol. In the meantime, I’m still mulling over my own OC universe I've sat on for ages. But who knows what'll happen this year. We'll see.

---

Thanks to Ryu for stopping by! Stay tuned for more transcripts!

[sarazanmai]

Thoughts on the “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” English dub. Episode ten.

I have spent the whole day feeling excited about this and its ironic as I do think Battle Tendency has the weakest plot to date (as well as the worst title I mean Battle Tendency...a story of men and...their tendency to battle...) I can’t say I hate it though. its not my least favorite either that would be impossible as it stars my favorite character, Joseph. it also features other characters I love like Lisa Lisa, Caesar, and Kars. the way I’d best describe BT is its got some of the series’s best characters and is comprised of some great moments that are strung together by a weak thread.

as far as the dub itself and my experience with it, I have heard some clips from a few years back. I remember everyone flipped their shit over Ben Diskin being cast as Joseph given his work in shows like Codename Kids Next Door and Hey Arnold and when I first heard his voice, well it was footage from a convention where the audience’s cheers drowned out his voice pretty significantly. but I was shocked Joseph had an English accent because I never read his dialogue in that way. its embarrassing to admit, but I forgot he was stated to be English and always assumed he had an American accent. whoops. I still read his dialogue in an American accent honestly. then I saw one or two other clips and just didn’t like what I heard, but that was years ago and my mind is open now and I want to give him a chance. also something I wanna say regarding him as Umino in Sailor Moon is while I don’t like the voice at all I do believe he was just doing what people told him to do. I don’t blame him for that.

also he voiced Fiore in the new dub for the Sailor Moon R movie so yay I get to hear him have homoerotic subtext with Tuxedo Mask when I sit down to watch that

anyway, let’s go

the first person we see is Speedwagon, I like that he became an oil tycoon somehow and we just roll with it

Straizo is here and yeah he’s here

stone masks, stone masks everywhere

and a stone homosexual

for a moment I expected the intro

okay so Smokey is voiced by Robbie Daymond. I’ll say this now, would it hurt people to hire black actors to voice black characters? because I know Avdol got the same treatment

also I wish Araki didn’t give him this name. I get that Smokey Brown is a reference to Smokey Robinson and James Brown, but when I first read BT and saw his name I was like “....I’m sorry WHAT!?”

“all right, by your accent I’d say you’re in from England” a piece of information my dumb ass didn’t pick up on the first time

also you mean to tell me Coke wasn’t sold in 1930s England?

erm well actually I do know in wartime Great Britain people had to ration everything so...its possible this is true

then again this is Coco Cola, a subsidiary of Bepsi

I appreciate this man using words like “mook”

its sad how realistic the cops assaulting Smokey is

$20 every week in depression era New York was genuinely a lot of money

six and a half foot, Joseph is taller than Jonathan

damn

also Joseph sounds more posh than Jonathan did, its ironic

and he got called a limey, again the accuracy on these insults

kick his ass baby I got your flower

I have a big thing for the way characters are introduced to us and I love that the first thing Joseph does is beat the shit out of a racist cop

like no one else in this series has an introduction this good

enjoy Coke!

“he beat down two cops, but is scared of his grandma?” hey now his grandma is armed with an umbrella!

“his dad who died in the war didn’t have any talents like that” so I always forget Jorge II was a person who existed, like I swear sometimes it feels like Lisa Lisa got pregnant by the Force or something

“his mom was gone too” :c

meanwhile, back in the ruins

flashback time!

so yeah the anime changed Joseph’s Superman comic into a Baoh the Visitor manga and I kinda don’t care despite the fact that this means Araki is a character within his own series and was writing in the 1930s

Speedwagon is still the best exposition man

also God he’s acting like he’s gonna summon Star Platinum or some shit, Joseph you’re like twelve

and here is the first airplane crash Joseph survived

“why can’t you ever just think things through Jojo?” because

“he may have his grandfather’s face, but he’s far from being a gentleman” this brings up something interesting, Joseph looks like Jonathan on purpose

let me elaborate, Joseph was designed to look like Jonathan because Araki didn’t want readers to feel like this was a different manga suddenly (he says so in the back of the first BT manga volume). he has admitted he wishes he made them look more different, which is why he draws Joseph with goggles now and why the anime gave Joseph and Jonathan different hair (though Jonathan’s hair is brown in the games so I don’t think it had to be blue here)

I say all this because this was an intentional decision and not the results of Araki’s art style limiting his design choices

dammit Straizo

he’s doing his best Palpatine by thinking Joseph needs to develop hate within him

“he was powerful, he was beautiful, he was immortal” friendly reminder its canon that Dio’s hot

its also canon all the Jojos are hot, don’t deny it

your over confidence is your weakness Straizo

I love Joseph’s hearing gag

also this fandom has not let me know rest since I made this post about it and I’m fine with that

“the Joestar family, reduced to a grandmother and her grandson” not for long, though it will never be this simple again

“was Speedwagon REALLY grandpa’s best friend, is that all there was?” wow subtle

every allusion to Lisa Lisa is making me sad

for what its worth I’m happy Araki had racism in New York be an actual thing, like too many people assume its purely a Southern issue and that’s really just a lie people tell to make themselves feel better

“people are entitled to their opinions, but this misbegotten oaf has given public insult to our friend. be mindful of the other guests now, but teach him a lesson” best grandma ever

baby’s first “next you’ll say”

Joseph’s a goldmine for running gags

this scene really does play out like a fake tumblr post

I do like Joseph’s voice more than I expected, though so far he hasn’t done his really silly stuff yet but I look forward to that (can’t wait for Tequila Joseph)

I wonder if Irene’s Cafe is a reference to Gorgeous Irene

“do you think this is true, can girls really make them bigger? ooh!” if you have to ask you’ll never know

Straizo just looks so done with Joseph’s shit

he just has a machine gun, just tucked away all discreetly, I love Joseph

I like Roundabout as the BT closing, but part of me wishes it got a song of its own

tune in next time where Joseph wins the Olympic gold for sprinting

[cerealmisandrist]

Best PC Games I Played In 2016

So, this year has been pretty shitty for me and I haven’t been able to blog much unfortunately, but I’ve decided to start the new year off with at least one long-ass post written by moi and I’ve decided to do a fav games list! (Sorry for all the no doubt mindless attention to detail but I had to lol!)

Now let’s begin shall we?:

DROPSY

tw: murder

- This is the most charming and heartwarming game I have ever played, the rather scary looking main character not-withstanding.

Touted as the cause of a fire during a circus performance that ended up killing several townsfolk as well as his own mother, Dropsy is a point-and-click adventure game mainly about showing the people who hate the protagonist that he is innocent by helping them out with their problems in order to make them happy again and see Dropsy for who he really is: a rather freaky looking dude in clown makeup that genuinely loves everyone and who’s favorite activity is hugging literally everything he comes across (I am not even lying he even hugs a port-a-potty and it is adorable). Although not really driven by a main story, there is, in fact, more to Dropsy’s narrative than meets the eye as we learn the truth behind the fire as well as the revelation of the story’s antagonist, and the ending is as equally heartfelt as Dropsy himself is. The soundtrack is absolutely amazing and even though you might have a hard time discerning the images that the characters use in their speech bubbles instead of written dialogue in order to solve its puzzles, this game has quickly become a go-to for me when I’m feeling particularly glum and need a pick-me-up – and for that alone, Dropsy has become one of my favorite games of all time.

FRAN BOW tw: child abuse, tw: child sexual abuse, tw: Nazi experimentation

- Ok, this one was a no-brainer for anyone who has read my previous theory post about the game, but I am completely serious when I say go play this game asap.

The plot is about a spunky, mentally ill child named, of course, “Fran Bow,” who is trying to escape from the mental asylum she is being held in against her will  as well as the dark presence of a demon-like creature named Remor during the 1940s in order to find her cat Mr. Midnight and reunite herself with her aunt Grace, and while the art style, imagery, and various themes are EXTREMELY dark and foreboding, this game will change your life – or, at least, your previous held views on young girl protagonists, mental illness, and young girl protagonists struggling with mental illness and still managing to be heroic, empathetic, and all-around badass. Although some will find this game hard to swallow due to all of the violence directed at young children as well as the fact that this game is basically just a giant metaphor to begin with - Fran travels through supposed different realities during the game and even Fran herself is not sure if what she is experiencing is “real” or not - I cannot recommend it enough. This game changed me and not only is it now one of my favorite games of all time, but I truly consider the ending to be one of the best in all of my rather meager knowledge of gaming history. 

LIFE IS STRANGE tw: murder, drug use, sexual assault, sexual relationship between an adult and a minor

- THIS. FUCKING. GAME. This game made me fall in love with each of its characters, tore my sorry heart apart bit by bit as it’s story and its mysteries were slowly revealed, and it didn’t even have the decency to sew it back up together again at its end - and yet, somehow, I cannot help but love it so.

Life Is Strange is basically about a teenager named Max Caulfield who returns to her hometown Arcadia Bay - and her childhood friend Chloe Price - in order to attend a prestigious art school named Blackwell Academy to hone her photography skills and discovers she has the ability to travel back in time, with and without one of her many photographs as a medium, when she saves Chloe’s life after she is shot to death by Blackwell’s resident evil rich kid Nathan Prescott. After that one scene, Max is sent on a long wild week with Chloe at her side discovering who she really is as a person and trying to uncover the truth behind the terrible events happening at Blackwell, all while trying to save her friends and the town from the terrible storm that she repeatedly has visions of in the near future. The artistic direction is groundbreaking, and while the dialogue can be clunky, the voice acting is devastatingly top notch, and the early parts of the narrative - which differs based on the choices Max makes throughout the game - more than makes up for the rushed, bordering-on-lazy ending. Life Is Strange, though not perfect in any sense of the word, is a game that is an absolute must for any hardcore gamer, and like the rest of the games on this list has become one of my all-time favorites.

TORMENTUM: DARK SORROW tw: grotesque imagery, suicide

- If H.R. Giger and Heironymous Bosch had a love child that was babysat now and then by their good friend Immanuel Kant (who is quoted before you actually play) you would get this little point-and-click adventure game that is truly a hidden gem.

You start out as a rather mysterious and androgynous amnesiac who has recently been captured along with a rabbit-humanoid character to be taken to a giant castle that endlessly tortures its victims for being terrible people and its your job to escape this horrific and hopeless place. The artwork is STUNNING. Like if you don’t agree with me on this then you are an idiot, I’m sorry, there is no getting around that. It. Is. stunning. The story itself is also quite interesting, although I can see that some people could find it pretentious if you miss the subtlety of its themes. The game also goes hard right from the start with the inventory-object puzzles and it could be overwhelming for some, but I can’t help but overlook it in the face of it’s absolutely phenomenal art direction, character design and its Kant-isms. Again, this is another one for the all-time favorites list.

THE CAT LADY/DOWNFALL/DOWNFALL REDUX

tw: suicide, character death, depression, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, mental illness, did I mention suicide?, murder, cannibalism, cancer, eating disorders, psychosis, cat’s murdering humans, serial killers, gore, the list goes on and on really

- This trio of three games really surprised me, especially because there are so few games out there that deal with suicidal depression in such a realistic and hopeful way.

While DOWNFALL/DOWNFALL REDUX is really about a psychotic character named Joe Hill coming to terms with his wife, Ivy’s, own mental illness through a hallucination-filled fever dream at the mysterious Quiet Haven motel, its really THE CAT LADY that brought attention to the universe these games exist in as well as the fantastic narrative. While some can say that the narrative of DOWNFALL (the original game made by the creator which was released as freeware and is oddly more charming in a way compared to its re-release after the THE CAT LADY to cement it in THE CAT LADY’S universe due to it missing its original B-horror movie element) and its remake DOWNFALL REDUX is better since it lacks a lot of the exposition that can drag on for some in THE CAT LADY, it’s THE CAT LADY that is my favorite although I admit I love all three. THE CAT LADY is a game about a suicidally depressed woman named Susan Ashworth nicknamed The Cat Lady due to her habit of playing her piano in order to call and feed the feral cats that live in her neighborhood, who manages to successfully kill herself at the beginning of the game and in a limbo-like reality is given immortality by a woman called The Queen of Maggots so she can come back to life and kill 5 “parasites,” aka serial killers that will be drawn to her once she returns to the real world. All of the serial killers either suffer from what I call Steig-Larson-Syndrome (they’re murderers AND kidnappers AND cannibals AND a host of other bad things) or are completely forgettable and both the sound, voice-acting, and image quality is blaringly low budget at times, but trust me when I say that it more than makes up for it in it’s extremely well written narrative and character design, as well as one of the best friendships between two women in any game ever (and said women are from two different age generations! which never ever happens ever!). I don’t want to spoil anything, but all three games also give you more than just two endings which are all (strangely) equally extremely satisfying – and in THE CAT LADY’s case, manage to be uplifting to top it all off, which is why this game, as well as its follow up ones, made it on this list.

UNDERTALE

tw: murder, serial murder

- Another no-brainer, UNDERTALE takes all your pre-perceptions of your average game goals and throws them all out the window in the most charming way possible.

Like THE CAT LADY it is ruthless in its realism despite its cute characters and hilarious jokes, pulling no punches when it points out the sheer amount of violence you as the player expects to dish out towards even the most non-violent characters in your usual game. On top of all this, its completely original backstory, loveable characters, and groundbreaking soundtrack will bring every single one of the feels to even the most shriveled of hearts. Honestly the only con I can see in this game is its replayability, which I admit is rather low due to its lack of different endings and its over abundance of obvious homages to other games like Earth which does give it an air of laziness even though its clear that the game is like this in order to critique it….but to me, there‘s no question as to why I have chosen this game for this list and why, like all the others above, I have added it to my personal list of favorite games of all time.

And that’s a wrap! Feel free to send me recs to other amazing pc games in my inbox, I love trying out new gaming content.