#SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS ANSWERRRRR

[1800duckhotline]

OC questions! Kuobakhaya for 34, 39,30 and B!

Uncommon OC questions

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Very difficult. Kuobakhaya has a very hard time not feeling guilty about a lot of things, even stupid ones, both when she does need to feel guilty and when she doesn't. Being a recovering drug addict brings with herself a huge baggage of things and a lot of guilt regarding several different things, be it not being a good friend, not being a good enough girlfriend, not being pretty enough/in shape enough (body dysmorphia as a result of her eating disorder), not being funny enough, people not liking her enough in general, not being good enough at recovering, not being grateful enough to Tisha (even though he really doesn't ask for anything besides her trying to be ok!) and so forth.

She makes an effort not to let it shake her up too much but there are days the guilt will eat at her for hours. It is definitely going to be a long time before she will fully be able to handle it, but as it is now, it is very hard for her to do that.

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Honestly... ridiculously easy... For an example, personal history aside, the reason she was able to befriend Tisha the way she did when they were children was that Kuobakhaya very very easily will overlook people's faults and flaws, even when it is not beneficial to her or when she knows that they will end up causing her problems one way or another. This hasn't been the case with Tisha specifically, but with many other people she has met it was.

While she doesn't cut slack for her family, who she misses but doesn't regret leaving behind (I have to decide still if I want her to have a brother or two) when she moved to the UK she ended up befriending a lot of untrustworthy folk who took advantage of the fact that she was desperate to fit in and wanted to become as "cool" as possible as the other youngsters were. (She moved with Tisha to the UK when they were approximately barely 18, so they both had no clue what they were doing, just enough budget to rent a dingy apartment and Lots Of Dreams) So, in England Kuobakhaya unfortunately has ignored many people's many many grave flaws due to her being very desperate for some kind of approval, and her drug addiction (heroin) certainly did not help her feel any better even if she felt it did at the time. This unstable period of her life was rendered further chaotic by her awful three ex-boyfriends which in different ways made her life A Good Amount Hell, which I won't get into right now but you have to believe me that dumping each of them individually required Bakhya to build up a lot of courage and she gradually ended up raising her standards little by little.

Even back in their hometown, Bakhya ended up frequenting shady folks - one of the reasons she decided to leave her family behind was exactly because they'd found out about her drug addiction, which at the time was cocaine. Both her and Tisha unfortunately developed addictions when they were both pretty young (the living conditions weren't optimal for either and she used as an excuse the fact she was mourning for the loss of her family pet, which at the time she considered to be her only real friend). This partly also explains why she has a difficult relationship when it comes to her self worth and why she often let others walk over her hoping they would "approve" of her in some way or another. Obviously there is other factors at hand as well.

For reference at the age of 28 (when I usually draw her) to 30 she is actually getting help for her heroin addiction and annexed mental ailments that come from them (principally eating disorders) so she is on her way to recovery, though it is Not easy obviously. But even in a more stable state of mind Bakhya tends to blame herself before she recognizes others' flaws...

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

A lot of people... Though probably most of all she regrets meeting the second of her 3 exes because dealing with him made her psychic ailments a thousand times worse.

It was the kind of toxic situation where Bakhya was desperate for any kind of attention and ended up going to any length to try and make him happy, but unfortunately was not able to do so (the guy was just an asshole full of shit) even when she went as far as to dye her hair blonde since he liked to repeat "how much he likes blonde girls" out loud when she was around.

She knows he was a piece of shit now, but being around him only contributed to making her situation back then worse both with self-esteem, mental health, and drugs, so she will always feel remorse over having considered going out with him at all. Probably the only person in the world she actively always wishes harm against.

B) What inspired you to create them?

This issss a great question! I don't remember actually. Before I decided to rehaul her, Kuobakhaya used to be "Joan", and I made Joan all the way back in 2016 now I think. Crazy to think that it's been 9 years since I've had this OC and only now decided to give her a proper well-rounded revision. I've had to change a lot of things about her.

I think I made her not long after watching Trainspotting, I think, and I was really fascinated with the complexity of characters that are afflicted by addictions, as well as how complicated drugs can make one's life in like, real life, not just in movies. I went as far as to thoroughly research every possible symptoms a character like Bakhya's could have, researching the intersection that comes with switching from cocaine to heroin usage, what are the visible tics, the psychological effects, and so forth. I was further inspired to simply let a tulpa of sorts develop in my brain around the "what if she suffered this and that, how would she react, what would her thoughts be" and gradually it just... Happened.

What was really curious is that I made "Joan" before I ever even watched Twin Peaks, as I now consider Laura Palmer one of the inspirations for Kuobakhaya ('she's just like me fr' situation with Bakhya -> Laura) but trust me when I say I saw the show much later than she was created. Obviously Bakhya's story is not at all a carbon copy of Laura Palmer's (because I made her before I knew of Laura's character, but also because I feel it'd be in bad taste?) but the sentiments, the "philosophy" behind the type of character are both there, in a sense...

This question went sort of nowhere I apologize but I was really just inspired by the idea of a woman tortured by the Mundane demons, not supernatural creatures or anything like that, by how drugs can shape a person and feed into their insecurities and really try and feel how that can change them fundamentally; but not only that, I wanted to explore the idea of recovery, finding yourself again, trying to get back on your own feet after years spent trying to "fit" with the "cool crowd". I had a rp blog for the then-Joan, for like, years, you know.

And I decided to give her a little character arc where she went through recovery and everything. I spent so much effort writing it, too, like, it was really extensive (for my standards) and it involved moving blogs and everything just for that really clean slate feeling -- and literally nobody cared about it, like it was straight up ignored by many people who weren't my friends? I remember that moment completely disenchanting me from the oc roleplay community LOL. Anyway.............

[curlswithcreativity]

Attention - Tom Holland x Reader (Part One)

Prompt: Brittney and I like to send pictures back and forth. Sometimes in happens when I’m in class. We came to the realization that Boyfriend!Tom would almost definitely do it just for the joy of making you feel flustered. Some of the dialogue is stripped right from our conversation

A/N: I’m so sorry. It’s literally been so long since I posted that I had to look up how I formatted my fics. I’m back at school full time and it’s kicking my ass!! Also this is my first TH fic soooo... comments would be lovely! Also, this is a two parter because I didn’t like how it was turning out, so I just split off the end. I’ll post the rest tomorrow

Marvel & Marvel Cast Masterlist | Complete Writing Masterpost

Part Two

___

A tired sigh escaped your lips as you scribbled down your notes, your professor’s tangent failing to hold your attention. Your four-hour block of classes was almost done and you couldn’t wait for the short 30-minute break before the final four-hour block began. You needed to grab something to eat and quickly.

 Absent-mindedly, your hand trailed over to your phone to check the time. When the light of your screen came on, the familiar Snapchat banner that accompanied a new message derailed you. The small little red ghost icon followed by the name “Tom 🐸 💖” made you smile instinctively.

 Tom would frequently send you snaps to brighten your day and to help break up the monotony of your long lectures. The thought of a cutely framed photo of Tessa had you clicking on the banner urgently, your desire to see a cute dog in an equally cute or funny scenario incredibly strong.

Upon opening the app and message, you nearly dropped your phone in your haste to discreetly hide your screen. Tom apparently fresh from the shower had sent you a shirtless photo, his damp curls stuck to his forehead as he gave you a mischievous smirk. The towel he was wearing hung low around his hips providing ample view of his wet, well-defined abs. It was nothing you hadn’t seen before, but in the context of your lecture hall, you felt your cheeks quickly gaining a healthy flush.

 The banner that flashed across the top of your screen showed another new snap, and you twisted your hand to cover your face as you clicked on it warily. The photo showed the towel that had previously been wrapped around Tom’s hips now in his outstretched hand. The white towel was a stark contrast against the warm colours you had chosen for your bedroom, and considering Tom’s toned forearm and that damn towel were the only thing in frame, you had little else to focus on.

 This time when the small ghost appeared again at the top of your screen, first red, and then purple to indicate he had sent you a video, you turned your phone’s screen off and placed the device face down against the desk. Your face burned hotly and your heart raced as you squirmed in your seat.  You forced yourself to breathe deeply, reaching for your pen and re-entering the password to your laptop that had fallen dark in your moments of distraction.

 Right, you thought as you shook your head, focus on the Olympian Twelve. Do not think about the fact your incredibly attractive boyfriend almost definitely just sent you nudes.

 The subtle buzz of your phone against the lecture hall desk drew your attention away from the discussion regarding the nuisances of myths and legends. Your brow furrowed; you had your phone set to do not disturb, with the exception of a very select group of individuals. Ever since you had started dating Tom, your previously respectable number of notifications had skyrocketed, and the constant chime of your phone was not welcome in academic settings.

 Once more, curiosity got the better of you and you reluctantly turned over your phone to discover that although the banner was different, the sender was the same.

 TOM HOLLAND (7)

 You pulled down the notification with a swipe of your finger and quickly scanned the messages.

 “Why didn’t you open my picture 😞”

“I made you a special video, darling ;)”

“Y/N!!!”

“Love you, gorgeous xxx”

“Answerrrrr myyyyyy messagesssss”

“Do you not love me? If you did you would open my video ;)”

“Respond plz”

 You turned off your phone completely after that. There were only 20 minutes left in your lecture and he could wait that long. Maybe you would make it longer if he continued in his current vein, you thought as an email from him with the subject “LOVE, COME ON” flashed in the upper-hand corner of your laptop screen.  You didn’t bother to read the preview.

 The next 10 minutes were rather uneventful, and you hoped that Tom had finally gotten the hint. He was well aware of your schedule’s busy nature despite its stark contrast to his own. For the most part, he respected that.

 “Hey guys, it’s me, Tom Holland.”

 Your head whipped around in your seat, the sound of Tom’s voice coming through a tinny phone speaker an unexpected occurrence in your Classic Mythology lecture. The girl who was holding the phone shot you an apologetic look devoid of recognition as she lowered her volume. You sunk into your seat- despite the new sound level you could still hear the clear, familiar chatter of your boyfriend’s voice.

 “Oh, hello marj1091 and… sorry, I can’t see your usernames anymore, they’re going by too quickly.” There was the familiar sound of your creaking bed and a loud huff, which made you think that Tom had thrown himself down in his typical fashion.

 “Right.” Tom stated, a small pause following his voice as the sound of things moving flowed through the speaker. “I’m on live right now because I’m feeling incredibly ignored by a certain someone who is very dear to me.”

 You had been so distracted by his dialogue that you had missed your class dismissal. Suddenly, the seats around you were emptying and Tom’s voice was being covered by the sound of squeaking chairs and hurried steps. As you gathered your things, you stared at your phone hesitantly before turning it back on. You were intrigued now, if not still a little irritated, about what he was saying about you. Walking outside of the lecture hall, you clasped your phone tightly in your hand as you scrolled through your folders to find the multi-coloured camera icon. You cringed when you noticed you had been tagged in a photo and now had almost 1500 new notifications and mentions.

The newest addition to your tagged page had Tom’s face filling your screen, his hair much less damp than in the photos he had sent you and his muscled chest now covered by a heather grey t-shirt. He was pouting as he clutched tightly to Tess, the dog somehow managing to look forlorn as well. The caption read, “When she’s ignoring you because she’s “being responsible”… Quite sure Tess thinks she’s gone forever.”

 It would have been cute if it weren’t so blatantly manipulative.

 Your teeth ground together as you looked for a safe spot to stop that was not in the way of the ongoing foot traffic. Settling on a nearly empty bench, you sighed despite yourself; you had to admit… he did look good. And that was infuriating given your current need to focus on getting through your school day. His stream was still running, and against your better judgement you pulled it up to catch him in the middle of a conversation.

 “Look, I love that she’s going to class and learning. She’s absolutely brilliant and I’m so proud of her. But being home alone all day is rubbish. What am I supposed to do—?” Oh come on, Thomas, you thought, I’m sure you can think of something. “—Just wait? She should just stay home, it’s better for all of us.” He trailed off, his lips quirking up into a faint smile as he read through the comments, shifting in his spot as you let out a small huff. He nodded his head, reaching for something just out of frame as he spoke.

 “Right, if you’re just joining us now,” Tom said as he held up a photo to his phone’s camera. Your face, smiling brightly as he planted a kiss on your cheek, came into focus as he repositioned the photo and let out a dramatic sigh. “The live stream is dedicated to remembering my girlfriend, Y/N. She’s not dead, she’s just ignoring me because she’s in lectures all day.”

 You rolled your eyes and resisted the urge to comment, allowing others to do it for you.

 “I’M fUCKING DEAD HAHAHAHAHAHA”

“tom ur such a little baby”

“omg Y/N sucks. Who cares about school when you’re dating Tom Holland????”

“take off your shirt!!!”

“tom, you’re literally the loving boyfriend meme and its gross”

“uh, I’m pretty sure I just saw her join the stream?”

 The last comment made you pause, and you watched as Tom processed the slow feed.  He had apparently missed the notification that you had joined in his dramatic presentation, his face breaking into a beaming smile. You felt your lips lifting upwards instinctively despite your mild irritation.

 “Did she actually? That’s brilliant, I thought she would have turned off her phone. Y/N/N, are you paying attention to me now, love?”  He was smiling broadly as he clicked through the viewers before finally finding your username. “You are.”

 “I’m not.” You typed angrily while pursing your lips, chiding yourself. You had no doubt in your mind that this would only encourage him. When the comment finally made its way into his view, he let out a booming laugh.

 “You’re so stubborn.” He shifted in your bed, adjusting himself so that he could sit up more comfortably. “But since you’re here, you really should open the snap video I sent you. Maybe not in class though.” His voice had the same mischievous air to it that his texts had conveyed.

 “what snap video??”

“what’s the video?”

“video? Why are you making it seem like a sexy video? Did you send a sexy video?”

“tom why are you like this?”

“are you sexting her in class, what is this”

“puppy tom no!”

“fuckboy tom at it again”

 The request to join the Instagram live stream flashed across your phone, and you glared at it for a moment before declining. It took a second or two for your action to catch up to Tom’s device, and his face twisted into a comical pout at the rejection.

 “Aww, come on now, Y/N/N. You’re not in class now, yeah? Just-” The comments that were coming now were fast and overwhelming.

 “omg tom let the poor girl learn”

“let Y/N get a degree 2k18”

“take your shirt off!!!”

“girl drop out & be a housewife. id live off that spider man $$$”

“TOM I LOVE YOU. DATE ME INSTEAD”

 “-join for a moment so that I can see your lovely face.” He was relentless, you thought with a small shake of your head.

 You settled on a suitable response and taped it out hurriedly; you had less than 10 minutes now to get over to your new building and you would have to skip lunch, which was truly tragic. “Pictures exist for a reason, Thomas. Stop being a baby. This is a home discussion! And! I’m! Busy!” You weren’t surprised when he chose to ignore the second half of your message.

 “Well, yeah but it’s not the same, is it, love? And I’m not being a baby. Forgive me for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend.” Tom replied with a hint of a pout that was nowhere near as convincing as it could have been had it not been replaced almost immediately by a childish grin. God, he was infuriating.

 You sent “✌️👶”, a sentiment that you thought succinctly conveyed the message you wanted to get across, and rolled your eyes as you left the stream despite your boyfriend’s whines. His incessant contact had thrown you off your groove, and now it was a struggle to get where you needed to be. You grumbled to yourself as you bolted across campus. “Do I call him repeatedly when he’s on set? Does he get roped into live streams because I haven’t seen him in 5 hours?”

 The answer was a resounding no.

 Boy, was he going to have hell to pay when you got home.

___

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