#SOBBSS CRIESSS

[lsukeis]

FUCKING SOBBING

I CANT DO THIS

10 years after they arrive at safe haven, the swipe begins to fail. memories are slowly returning to survivors like the way the gentle waves lap at their feet each morning.

thomas does not want to remember. he is still grieving, will always be grieving, of brown eyes and blonde hair and a smile dripping with honey.

but thomas never gets what he wants, and so his swipe fails and he falls. he falls back in love with newt, with a skinny child knocking on his door, with tangled limbs and brushing lips. he remembers loving newt and newt loving him and both of them knowing they loved one another. he remembers kissing newt, cradling newt, loving newt in the way he never thought he did.

he has to lose and mourn newt all over again, and he cannot do it. it was unbearable losing newt thinking that maybe they had something. it is worse knowing that he lost his lover all along, and he resigns himself to his fate of his hut for one person by the beach.

he lets the waves lap over his ankles, and clutches the cord around his neck, feels the ancient love weaved into the pages. he will always be alone because the love of his life has been taken from him once, twice, thrice.

“i have always loved you,” thomas whispers to the sunrise of molten gold.

it will never be enough. those words will always be made for newt. he will always belong to newt, so much so that he feels like his body is side by side with his lover’s under the ruins of a lost city.