#SO WHY AM I NOT GETTING INTERVIEWS FOR JOBS THAT ARE EVEN LIKE. LATERAL MOVES

[passengerpigeons]

ugh need to find more jobs to apply to and then apply to them

[fingertipsmp3]

Why did I cancel therapy and then cry about it

[alotofpockets]

The little mascot | Alessia Russo x Reader

Where your daughter climbs onto Alessia's lap in a restaurant, and later they reconnect when she gets to be a mascot for Arsenal

Woso masterlist | Words: 2k

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When you realised your partner wasn't present in your daughter's life, and they didn't care much about yours either, you decided it was time to leave. Along with the separation, you had always wanted to live in London, but your partner didn't, so this seemed like the perfect time to make the move. 

You managed to find a place there pretty quickly, it would be about a month before you could move in, but that gave you the time to start looking for a job. With a job interview scheduled, you and Ellie took the tube over, for the first time. You didn't have anyone to watch your daughter, but the owners had been nice enough to allow you to bring her with you.

“Alright princess, Mommy is going to talk with the nice people, will you be a good girl and wait here for Mommy?” You settled her at one of the tables with a drawing book and some crayons. “Okay Mommy.” With a kiss to her forehead, you walk towards the back office.

You look over your shoulder once more before following the owner inside. “Thank you again for allowing me to bring her with me.” Tina smiles, “Of course, we are a family business, so we put family above all else.” 

In the restaurant Ellie was busy drawing, and hadn’t noticed she dropped one of her crayons until someone crouched down beside her. “I think you’re missing a colour, sweetheart.” She holds out the red crayon that fell to the ground. For a split second Ellie’s eyes widened, but when she met the soft blue eyes of the blonde stranger, she snapped back into reality. “Oh thank you.” 

Before the girl could get up, Ellie started rambling. “My Mommy is talking to the people behind that door, and I am drawing flowers, and stars, and butterflies!” She was enthusiastically pointing at all the things she had drawn. “They are very pretty, you are quite the little artist!” 

The girl went on her way again, and Ellie was quickly pulled into her drawing again. Working hard on filling the page with scribbles in all the colours she had brought with her. She looked over to her juice box as she was getting thirsty, but realised that you hadn’t opened it for her like usual.

She looks around thinking of what to do now, and then her eyes land on the blonde stranger, who’s talking with a bunch of other girls a few tables over. Full of determination she grabs the juice box and trods over. She pokes her finger in the girl’s arm gently, “Scuse me.” The blonde turns her way, “Oh hi, sweetheart.” 

Ellie holds up her juice box, “Can you open this?” She takes the juice box from her hands. “I for sure can. What’s your name, sweetheart?” She starts the conversation while putting up the little ears of the juice box. “Ellie and I am this many.” The girl holds up four fingers. “Wow, four already, you’re such a big girl! My name is Alessia.” Alessia hands back the juice box by the ears with the straw sticking out. “Enjoy your juice, Ellie.” Ellie hugs Alessia, “Thank you!” 

She walked back to the table you put her at, and she sipped on her juice box. As she was looking around the place, she saw some cakes being brought out. She followed the server intensely and watched the plates being put down at Alessia’s table, she gaps and is off her chair instantly.

“Lessia, can I please sit with you?” She put up her best puppy dog eyes. “Yeah, that’s alright. Beth, could you please grab Ellie a-” Ellie climbs into her lap before she can even finish her sentence. “That works too.” She chuckles. Alessia introduces Ellie to her friends. While Ellie is trying hard to focus on her friends, she keeps being pulled in by the piece of cake sitting in front of her. 

“Ey Less, I think someone is eyeing your food.” A girl named Katie chuckles out. “Oh is that why you came over?” Ellie quickly shakes her head, but when Alessia starts tickling her in her sides, she quickly confesses between giggles. “Alright, you can have a bite, go ahead.”

Your job interview went well, so well that they hired you instantly. That is why it took a little bit longer, because they wanted to show you around in the kitchen. You were excited to have been offered the job, and also to take a look around behind the scenes, but you were also eager to get back to your daughter. 

When you walked back in your eyes fixed to your table instantly, but Ellie was nowhere to be seen. Only her colouring stuff, and the juice box were still laying on the table. Before you could panic, you heard the familiar sound of your daughter’s giggles. 

She was sitting with a group of girls who looked to be around your age, and your nerves instantly settled, as you saw the way they were interacting with her and the way they had her laughing.

When you got closer, you noticed the chocolate creme covering her cheeks. “Hey princess, what are you doing over here?” Ellie jumps off Alessia’s lap instantly, “Mommy, you’re back!” You chuckle, “Hold it there, let’s clean you up first.” Alessia is quick to hand you a napkin. “Thank you, and I’m so sorry she interrupted your friend’s and ate your food. I’ll pay for everything.”

Alessia is quick to reject your offer. “Nonsense, we were having a blast together, weren’t we sweetheart?” Ellie nods eagerly, “Yeah Mommy, Lessia and her friends play football. Can I play football?” You nod your head, “We can look into it after we move, alright princess?”

Your daughter seemed to find that a good enough answer for now. “Go pack your stuff, I will be right there to help.” Ellie turns to Alessia, “Thank you Lessia.” The woman smiles at your daughter, “It was my pleasure, sweetheart.”

When Ellie is back at the table, you turn your attention to the woman you knew as Lessia. “Thank you so much for your kindness, she seemed very happy chatting with you all. Are you sure I can’t pay for your table?” Alessia shakes her head. “It really isn’t necessary, keep your money and put it towards your amazing daughter.” You thanked the kind stranger and helped back your daughter’s stuff back up.

You made the move over to London a month later, and Ellie was still on about football, so you had entered her in a local club, where she was having the time of her life, and made a bunch of new friends. Her team got picked to walk to be mascots to the Arsenal Women’s team at Emirates Stadium, and your little girl could not be more excited. 

You watched from the side with the rest of the parent’s as the kids lined up in the hall and watched the players arrive at the stadium. Ellie gasps when she sees a familiar face, “Lessia!” Alessia looks surprised at first, it had been a while since she had heard that nickname, she follows the line of kids and lets her eyes fall on the little girl at the end. “Ellie, sweetheart, what are you doing here?” 

Ellie begins telling her all about how she had started football and that her team got picked to be mascots. “That is so cool! I have to go get ready now, but would you like to be my mascot?” Your little girl lit up. “Yes please!”

Since you had only caught the name Lessia from your daughter, you hadn’t been able to look up the footballer that inspired your daughter to want to play. Now seeing her about to play in this gigantic sold out stadium, you knew instantly that your kid had found her idol.

When Alessia walked past the parents she looked for you and when she finally did, she sent you a small wave before following her teammates. Ellie and the other kids got escorted to another room, and you immediately started googling who this Lessia really was. Your daughter had set her heart on the blonde, but she had also piqued your interest. 

Your heart swelled with pride as you saw Ellie walking onto the pitch hand-in-hand with Alessia. The latter pointing you out in the crowd to your daughter. You waved to them both when Ellie spotted you. After, Ellie joined you in the stands to watch the match.

Arsenal got the win, and just like she had promised, Alessia found Ellie after the match. They shared a hug, and Alessia gifter her her jersey. “Did you like the match?” Alessia asked, kneeling down to her level.

Ellie nodded enthusiastically, “It was amazing! You were so good, Lessia! I wanna play like you.” Alessia felt honoured to hear that Ellie looked up to her. “With lots of practice, I am sure that you will one day!”

You chime in on their moment. “Thank you so much, Alessia. This meant the world to her,” Alessia gets up again, “It was my pleasure, she’s an amazing little girl.” Before you could respond, Ellie got Alessia’s attention again. “Lessia, do you want to play football with me?”

You didn’t expect her to say yes, after you had seen that she played for both Arsenal and England, at a top level, but her answer surprised you. “If it’s alright with your mom, I would love that.” You chuckle at Ellie’s hopeful eyes, “Of course that’s alright with me. If you give me your number, we can plan something later.”

The simple interaction of handing her your phone, had your cheeks flushed. She put in her number and sent a text message to herself. “Alright, I’ve got to go, but it was really great seeing you both here. I’ll text you and we’ll make some plans!”

True to her word, Alessia texted you a couple hours after the match. Over the next couple of weeks, Alessia had come over a few times already. Footy in your backyard, was the new normal. When Alessia was there, you’d go to the park as well. But your little girl was fully obsessed with football. Wearing her Russo jersey paired with her favourite article of clothing, a poofy skirt.

You found yourself looking forward to Alessia coming over. As time passed, she didn’t only come over for football, but she stayed for dinner, going out for picnics in the park, or lazy afternoons watching a movie. Not only Ellie was growing her bond with Alessia, but so were you. It got to the point where it wasn’t weird for Alessia to stay until after Ellie went to bed. The two of you spent hours after talking until it got late.

One evening, after Ellie had drifted off to sleep, you found yourself sitting on the balcony with Alessia, the cool London breeze brushing past you both. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for us,” you said softly, turning to face her. “It has made our move here so easy, and I could never have imagined seeing Ellie this happy in a new place so quickly.”

Alessia met your gaze, her eyes soft and sincere. “You and Ellie have become a big part of my life,” she admitted. “I’m glad we met that day at the restaurant.” You felt a blush reaching your cheeks at her words, “So am I.”

From that moment on, you and Alessia connected on a deeper level. It wasn’t just about Ellie anymore, it might not even have been for a few weeks now, though of course Ellie was and always would be a big part of it. It was about the late-night talks, the shared meals, and the quiet moments that slowly turned into something more.

“Do you think I could take you on a date some time?” Alessia asked nervously. “I’d love that.” 

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[disneyprincemuke]

for the girls * fem!driver

she isn't worrying about being on track for the first time - she worries about the media.

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, f1 grid x reader

warnings: literally a piece of garbage, SO inaccurate, no idea what i’m doing…

notes: this is sOOO BAD PLS I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE THIs man

also, please feel free to send it some scenarios for this series! you can send them in here freeflow~ none of these will be posted in chronological order so don’t worry about it

(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)

"here is sebastian vettel's personal addition to the grid, (y/n)," the interviewer grins, turning to face the girl. "welcome to the 2023 formula 1 season. thank you for coming in."

"thank you for having me," she smiles, hands clasped together in front of her. she's been following sebastian around all day - she doesn't want to be left alone in such a tough crowd.

"how does it feel to be the first woman in formula 1 in almost 2 decades?"

"i'm very thankful for the opportunity given to me to achieve this spot on the grid. i hope i'll be good enough to create a difference and be the stepping stone towards more women in the sport," she answers cordially, moving her arms slightly.

interviews, unfortunately, were also a very big part of the job. she didn't really mind it, but she knew the controversy of her being in the sport, and it's been driving her insane since the pre-season testing.

"and of course congratulations on your move from formula 2 to the main league. how do you feel about the doubters or naysayers who are saying you don't belong here?"

"i think it's unfair to assume my placement in the season before it has even started. i have worked as hard as everybody else to get where i am today, so i'm just really hoping that the fact that i am a woman does not overshadow all my achievements."

she's seen all that's said about her. the news articles, the videos criticising sebastian's choice to vouch for her, and the comments under her posts and announcements - it's very disheartening.

sebastian has tried his best to tell her otherwise, telling her time and time again that he wouldn't have vouched for her if he didn't think she had the potential to be here.

"and how are you getting along with everybody else on the grid?"

"very good. i mean, we've already been acquainted for years and that really helped me out a lot," she laughs, locking eyes with sebastian doing an interview right next to her. "but it is still a competitive sport. it's going to be a climb out there from my starting position at 18th. hopefully it will be a good race."

"of course, good luck out there."

"thank you so much."

"just like we talked about. you'll be fine," sebastian folds his arms over his chest, leaning back into the wall.

she's pulling the sleeves of her race suit over her shoulders. "why don't i believe you," she mutters, looking down at her shoes to avoid his eyes. "think about what the media would say if i don't finish in the points today."

"who cares about what the media has to say? just do your best out there today," sebastian repeats, patting her shoulder lightly to get her attention.

he flashes her a grin when she looks up, only to have her roll her eyes as she zips up. "me. i have to face the interviewers later, remember? not you."

"just race like you always have. you're doing this for yourself. not the media, not the insecure guys hiding behind a screen, and definitely not the interviewers." he grabs her shoulders, shaking her just slightly to lighten up the mood. "i'll be in your ears to help you out, okay?"

she sighs, leaning slightly to the side to grab her balaclava off the table. "promise to tell me when i'm being reckless?"

"i'm your race engineer. i've got you."

he turns her around, towards the track where the cars have lined up. "get out there and shut them all up. you're doing this for the girls, remember that."

"right. for the girls," she huffs, wiping her hands on her race suit. she takes the helmet that sebastian is holding out to her and gives him a smile. "okay. i'll talk to you through the radio."

and she does everything she has to do. she’s in the race car, anticipating the formation lap that’s about to start.

days leading up to this moment, she didn’t think she would be so nervous to be behind a wheel. she doesn’t typically let the feeling get to her so much.

but it’s different now that it’s being broadcasted to the entire world. she’s now watched by ten times her normal viewership.

“radio check,” sebastian’s voice comes into her ears. his voice has become a significant point to calming her down behind the wheel. you would be surprised how well he can calm her down just by his voice.

“copy.” she breathes into the mic unknowingly as she exhales, looking up and taking in her view.

her car was surrounded by the engineers, making the final touches on the car and triple checking all the components.

within a few seconds, she can see the sky as they disperse — the sun is shining bright and there are barely any clouds. to her right is yuki, also looking around the grid and the grandstand.

she locks eyes with him as he looks around, her eyes crinkling at the corners to acknowledge him. he returns the gesture with a smile through his eyes then a thumbs up to wish her luck.

she lifts her hand above the halo and returns the thumbs up.

“okay, the first car has taken off for the lap. i’ll check in on you again in a while.”

her grip on the steering wheel is tight despite the engine being turned off. she’s proud of herself for making it through her first race in the league, even parking the car neatly in parc ferme.

“you did amazing.”

“you’re only saying that. i didn’t even finish in the points,” she answers dejectedly, rolling her eyes to herself.

sebastian tries to make light of every situation, even if the normal person would not be able to find that in a frustrating position. but he was also a rookie once. the least he could do is empathise and try to make this experience less daunting for her.

he’s investing in her — her talent is impeccable, but he has to make sure that he fosters and encourages her into the best version of herself. the racer that he knows she is, she just needed someone to actively believe in her.

“the climb from p18 to p11 is good progress. the season just started, kid. the only way is up.”

“sure,” she chuckles. “i’m getting out of the car. see you in a bit, seb.”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse (comment to be added)

[iwannabe4everyoung]

Navigation | Marvel Masterlist | Serie Masterlist

Coming back to the old house

The Babysitter Serie: Pt I

Pairings: Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x F!Maximoff!Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Vision

Summary: When you broke up with your girlfriend you decided to come back to places you know by your heart.

Warnings: Not proofreaded,

Wc: 1,5k

A/n: Nothing really happen here cuz i didn't had idea what i can add more but everything need to start somewhere.

Your girlfriend, well, now ex-girlfriend, cheated on you. You caught her red handed when you came back earlier from a job interview, than you told her. After packing all your things you left her apartment and pulled out your phone searching for your mothers number. She didn’t answer. You called three, maybe four times but all your calls got rejected. You decided to call your father, he was never answering your calls so it wasn’t surprising he did not answer now. When leaving the calls app, you saw that one number. Before you knew you were calling her. Two signals were enough. 

“Sweetheart?” Hearing this voice makes you let out sobs. 

“Hi, uhm, can..go to my home and tell my mother to call me back?” Tears falling down your face. All you needed now was a hug from your mother. 

“Shh, sweetie, chill out. I am going to Wanda, and you need to take deep breaths.” When she was saying it, you could hear sounds of leaving the house. “ Oh.. I think there's no one home.” More sobs leaving your mouth.

“Shit.. I- Thank you ms. Vidal.” You said wanting to hang up.

“I told you to just call me by mine name.” 

After a few seconds of silence she started talking again.

“You can tell me what happened. Only if you want.” And you told her.Full story with breaks to take deep breaths. She didn't need to be around for you to feel more comfortable and safe than you were a few minutes ago. “Mhmm,  I'm gonna get Agatha and Nicholas and we will come for you.”

“You don't need-”

“Y/n.” 

“Okay… Thank you..”

“No problem sweetheart.”

Rio Vidal and Agatha Harkness, family house neighbors. They bought a place next to your family when you were sixteen. At that time you saw them a few times. Your first thought was how pretty and hot they are. Not even a year later they had their new house ready to move in. That was the first time you saw their little son, Nicholas Scratch. It was weird for you, why does Nico have a different last name, but soon later you learned that they couldn't decide which last name he should have or which one should come first. They decided to name him Scratch after their rabbit, Señor Scratchy

For the first few weeks you didn't really talk, but when your parents, Wanda Maximoff and Jarvis “Vision” Stark, invited them for dinner, you started forming some kind of friendship. Your mother didn't really like them, but you saw them as pretty cool people. Soon after you learned they are witches as your mother and younger brother. Well, you kind of were a witch too but you weren’t as good as your mother or Billy. That was also the main reason Wanda never really helped you with your powers. 

As you were in high school you started spending more time in your neighbor's house than in your own. All your parents cared for were Billy and Tommy. Your younger sibling. You were often ignored, not talking about how many times they missed something important even though you asked them to attend. But Agath or Rio were always there. When you told them for the first time how Wanda missed one of your school plays, they promised either of them would be there for you. You started bonding with Nicholas too by going out on the walks with him and playing many games. 

At some point Agatha was the one to teach you how to use your, not so strong, magic. Her touches on your skin never failed to make you shiver, and the looks Rio was always giving you made your heart always stutter. 

When  you were leaving for college, you realized you felt more for them than you should. Going to another city allowed you to forget about those forbidden feelings, you even met your ex that you fell for. You promised them you would write to them but you never did. It was easier to avoid those feelings they were making you feel. Calling either of them was so embarrassing to you. You ghosted all their texts and now you called them on a random day. 

After 2 years of college you decided to abandon it and go to work, well, it was your ex's idea but you never could find any job. You and Kate met at college. She was older, and also first to talk to you and confess. She wanted you to move in with her so you did. Not even 3 months later she started saying how useless you are if you can’t even find a job. Now you know why she never wanted you home. 

“You really didn't need to come here. I Could have taken the train with my spare money.” You said after Agatha and Rio hugged you. 

You sat in the back seat, next to Nico. He only took your hand and hugged it then fell asleep again. 

“You called for a reason.” Rio said first. 

“Besides I don't think you would be able to go on the train judging how you look.” Said Agatha, concentrating on the road. 

“Agatha.” Rio slapped her arm. “We care about you sweetheart, we are friends right?

You only nodded looking out of the window. 

After a long ride and not so long talks you arrived at your small city. Nicholas sleeping on your knees. He crawled on them somewhere in the middle of the ride. You took your things and after thanking Agatha and Rio for the hundred times, you walked to the doors of your own house. You grabbed the door handle.Closed. So you knocked. And knocked. And your father opened doors. We had a fancy suit on him, his blue eyes piercing through you.

“You don't need to pretend to be human, it's just me dad.” You said with a joking tone but with a serious face.

“What are you doing here?” That was the first word he said to you.

“You won’t even let your own daughter in?”

“Sorry, yeah, come in Y/n.” He moved aside so you could walk in. Even took your bag. “Me and your mother just came back from the Tonys party. 

“That's why you couldn't even pick up the phone.” You said sarcastically and wanted to roll your eyes, but your mother walked to the room at the same time

“Baby, what are you doing here?” She looked more surprised than Vision.

At first you stayed silent and hugged your mother. After a few seconds you started talking, but you couldn't tell them everything. You didn't tell them most of the story, as much as you needed them ,  needed your mother arm around you, you don't feel that emotionally close to them to tell all things that happened. So you shortened it to how Kate cheated on you and that you don't have a place to stay now. 

It was always like that. You spend most of your childhood and teenhood in your room or your neighbors house because your own parents were often forgetting about you, patronizing your younger brothers. 

“Ohh baby, I’m sorry. I'm gonna prepare a guest room for you… Your room is now Williams room.” Wanda petted your head leaving you with your father. 

“Y/n!” You heard Tommy's voice and soon after two bodies were hugging you. 

After spending time with your brothers, not like you had any choice. They decided you will sit with them and talk, and maybe play on playstation. By playing together they meant you would sit and watch them play. Last time you saw Billy and Tommy was more than a year ago. You had a big argument with Wanda and Vision back then. You invited them to dinner with your ex-girlfriend. You can’t even remember why you started to argue, for sure it was something stupid like always. But this time you stopped talking. Few times you wanted to send a message to your mother, but Kate was always faster to say about how badly they treated you and you don't need them. 

After Wanda made boys go to wash and sleep, you could finally have some alone time. You didn't think you would ever again sleep under your parents roof, but here you are. You were quietly listening to music, soft sounds always were helping you to fall asleep,but soon music stopped when you started getting notifications. Reading the first of them made your heart stop for a while.

Rio Vidal made group chat with you and Agatha Harkness

Rio: Hi sweetheart :D

Rio: We hope we can back in touch, we missed you

Agatha: Nicholas missed you

Rio: We and Nico missed you

Agatha: Rio and Nico*

Rio: I'm gonna kill you.

You: I missed you too

You: Sorry I ghosted you for… such a long time

You: Life was kinda hard

Rio: It’s okay dear, college is big step

You: Yeah, but it wasn’t fair to you 

Rio: Leave it

Rio: Why don’t we meet tomorrow?

Rio: We could talk about everything

You: Why did Agatha stop replying?

Rio: She's pretty busy now

Rio: Well, what will you say?

Rio:  Wanna meet?

Rio: Tomorrow, at our place, maybe 7? or 8?

[nathaslosthershit]

Team USA (AA23)

(Part of the Blind Items Series [can be read on its own])

Summary: Blind items is back with a new victim, Alex Albon and his American Mclaren race engineer of a girlfriend. With the news comes a very interesting Team Torque episode.

Logan laughed when he saw the tweet. He had been making fun of Alex for his newfound patriotism. Since Alex had started having feelings for this girl, he had been asking Logan for help trying to ‘woo’ her, as if Logan hasn’t actually lived in the US since he was twelve. But his teammate helped him, happy that Alex was not teasing him about America anymore. 

Team Torque:

“Hello everyone, this is Team Torque with Alex and Logan. We are here with our very own special guest! She is a race engineer for McLaren”

“And you girlfriend.” Logan quickly adds.

“And my girlfriend. Thanks for the help Logan.” Alex says, sarcastically. “As usual, this podcast is a mess and will probably not be getting better so apologies for that.”

“We aren’t the best hosts.” Logan adds.

“No we are not. Moving on, would you like to introduce yourself?” Alex asks.

“Yes! Thank you boys. As they said, I am a race engineer for Mclaren.”

“And my girlfriend.” Alex interrupts, copying Logan's previous remark.

“And Alex’s girlfriend.”

“And a fellow American.” Logan adds. 

“Would you boys like to introduce me instead? You seem to be so enthusiastic about it.” She jokes.

Alex had been begging for a while to have her on Team Torque. The team had said if they wanted a race engineer they should have one of their own but both him and Logan were insistent that she join them. After the rumors came out, Williams decided it was best if they brought her to gain control of the narrative again. It helped that she was already well loved by the Williams crew. While she would never help them, as that would be traitorous to her beloved team, she had made friends with a few of the other engineers and had jokingly been offered a job by James Vowles a few times. 

“Sorry honey, we are just excited.” Alex said.

“Yeah! Team America back together.” Logan enthusiastically added. The two had become close since they met, giving Alex a taste of his own medicine by making fun of his ‘Britishness’. He wasn’t too happy at their joint effort to make fun of him but he supposed that it was a good thing they got along so well. 

“Anyway, go on, say a bit about yourself.”

“Okay, as mentioned I am from the US. I was born and raised in New York.”

“Yuck” Logan teased.

“Don’t even start Florida man. I worked for Arrow McLaren’s IndyCar team in the same position, shoutout to my IndyCar family, I love you all lots. Then eventually Zak Brown asked me to come to F1 and I happily joined. Through working for them I met Lando who introduced me to Alex and a few years later we now both live in Monaco together.”

“How was the switch to F1 from IndyCar?” Logan asked.

“Rough at first. IndyCar has a much different sort of atmosphere than Formula 1 as well as fanbase. Plus moving out of the US for the first time was difficult. But it has also been such an amazing opportunity that I can’t complain too much. I am so happy where I am now.” Alex hadn’t known her when she had first gotten to Formula 1 but he had heard stories about how difficult it was. She had shared a lot with him but he also knew it was hard as he hadn't had to do the same. His experiences being a Thai and British driver had helped him understand some, but women were still such a rarity in F1, even if they preached gender equality in the sport, they didn't actually do as much as they could to make it a safe space for women to work. He also realized why she and Logan got along so well. Even if they hadn’t grown up close to each other, their shared identity of being an American in a primarily European sport had brought them together. 

The interviewing portion stopped after there, as Alex and Logan were terrible interviewers, but the conversations were still entertaining and it had become viral once it was uploaded. Viewers were excited to see Alex and his girlfriend, as well as Team USA.

mclaren

mclaren  williamsracing we will keep her if you don’t mind 

alex_albon Idk you might want to keep an eye on her

williamsracing may the best team win ;)

logansargeant Team USA can't be stopped

[imaginesbymonika]

From the dining table | Part 1

Pairing: Damon Albarn × Gallagher! Reader

Plot: Everyone's favorite topic during the '90s and 'OOs; Y/N Gallagher. The mysterious and beautiful younger sister of the two loud brothers rarely spoke during interviews but played the guitar like no one else. And even though she never said a word about her dating-life, the list of her rumored boyfriends kept growing longer with each passing year. Yet, there was one name in particular that just kept on popping up...

read the prologue

(1995)

He’s staring at her. Not because he wants to (although she’s a sight for sore eyes), but because there is just something about her field of energy that keeps on pulling him back in. He understands that he shouldn’t be. Not because of her two brothers though; he’s not intimidated by them, but because he just doesn’t want any more drama thrown his way. So maybe in a sense, it’s because of her brothers, but then again it isn’t. He-

“Damon!”, someone next to him says straight into his right ear and he flinches at the sudden sound. “What the fuck?!”, he asks, and his head twists into the direction of the voice:” Why would you do that?” His bandmate scoffs softly:” I’ve been trying to get through to you for the last three minutes. You know you should probably stop staring like that.”

“Wait what?”, his index finger moving into his ear: ”Don’t laugh. I’m being serious, I think I am deaf on this ear now.”

Graham chuckles:” Everyone can see that you’re staring at her, it’s only a matter of time till those dickheads see it as well. You know how protective they are of her.” Damon nods, turning his full body back towards the crammed table, before letting out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

“Having this war thing over our music’s is one thing, but the moment one of them finds out that you fancy Y/N you’ll probably get shot.”, the brown-haired man means it as a joke, of course, but at the same time, there’s more than just a bit of truth to it.

Y/N fucking Gallagher. Damon scoffs. No one really knows much about her other than the fact that she’s a few years younger than Liam. She plays the bass in Oasis and does a fucking excellent job at it. In Interviews she never talks, she just sits next to her two brothers and chews on gum while occasionally throwing a smile into the camera. And it’s not a sweet smile either: it’s cooky and secure. As if she understands the effect it has on other people. She knows she’s cool and pretty and it’s-

“Hey!”, Graham hits the back of Damon’s head with the palm of his hand:” Stop disappearing on me like that!” A pained chuckle exits Damon’s lips while he shakes his head:” I was thinking about something, thank you very much.”

“I hope about all the ways in which Noel will cut you up into tiny pieces when he finds out you think his baby sister is fit.”, he laughs and the blonde shoves him away from him. “Will you please stop talking?!”, he swallows thickly and turns to look back at the stage, but his gaze automatically halts on Y/N. Only this time their eyes instantly meet. His own widen while hers narrow and a couple of seconds later a smug smile appears on her lips. She knows.

Damon desperately wants to tear his stare off of her, but he just cannot do it. Y/N’s y/e/ced eyes survey his blushing features, while she leans back in her chair. She slightly tilts her head while un-crossing her legs and perhaps those ridiculous pop music magazines are right, maybe she is a God-

“Damon!”, Graham once again hits his friend’s head, before gripping his chin and harshly bending his head back to the table. “Outch.”, Damon silently lets out, before rubbing the side of his neck. And for a second it’s almost as if he can her Y/N giggle. Oh, he’s royally fucked.

[its-time-to-write]

Omg I'm loving your response to my prompts!! thank you

I have a few ideas (You don't have to do them all) just throwing them out there to see what sparks ideas!!

I love secret admirer stories (I know its no where close to valentines day but still) maybe Reader is Rebecca's assistant and keeps getting gifts leading up to valentines day but she is pretty sure its like Sam or Isaac and tells friend Jaime (even though its really him) then the day of the grand finale and she comes to the lovely surprise of it being Jaime!

also if you could include Scarlett red roses in it for me (They are my favorite flower and the only flower I'm not allergic to)

So. I liked this one. Maybe too much? It might be the longest one I’ve written so far, so, uh, sorry about that. But I liked it a lot. It might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Hope you enjoy. also the gif isn’t Jamie Tartt but it is Phil Dunster so hopefully that’s ok

honey, i’ll give you all my time

Good god, it’s February all ready. You have a love-hate relationship with the month; love, because Galentine’s Day and hate because Valentine’s Day. You and your friends would go out on February 15th to get discount chocolate from the shops, then return home for an ungodly amount of takeout and a movie. On the whole, you all preferred action movies with a good romance. 

You’re dreading Valentine’s Day because it’s when your boyfriend of two years held your hands in his, and told you he wanted to break up. 

That was a year ago. You’re mostly angry that he’s a dark stain on one of your favorite holidays. You’re absolutely determined not to let him ruin your enjoyment. 

This is also the first year you’re not with your friends. You moved away last March because you realized your ex had been holding you back in far too many ways. 

So. To recap. 

You’re alone. You love Valentine’s Day, despite it forever being the day of your breakup. Your friends aren’t here. You have new friends. There is no one to go to the shops with on the 15th. But discount chocolate is still discount chocolate. 

Your current job is as a personal assistant, something you excel at. You basically anticipate needs, meet them, and just generally make your employer’s life a whole lot easier. The application said the job required a lot of travel, but all expenses (minus some food) were covered. 

You were shocked when you got an interview, then a second, then a third, then were hired. 

Your boss is a woman named Rebecca Welton, and you’re half in love with her, but who isn’t, really?

You swear you’ve never been in such a healthy work environment. You mention it one day, early on, and she says it’s all thanks to their head coach, someone named Ted. 

You meet him for the first time later that day, and you understand. 

It’s impossible not to love him, because he has vision. He knows what he wants from his team, and he knows how to get it. 

He believes the team extends far beyond the players. 

He believes it extends to you, too. 

Ted and Coach Beard steal you from Rebecca as often as they can, claiming emergencies such as “a toxic amount of testosterone from all these boys,” “life-threatening boredom,” and last but not least, “there’s a new pun Ted absolutely needs to test right now and he won’t take no for an answer.”

(You like to give Ted honest feedback on his puns.) 

You also find yourself in their office when Rebecca is out for lunch, eating your respective sandwiches and swapping life stories. 

They remind you a lot of your parents.

It’s mid-June when you mention the Valentine’s Day story. 

It doesn’t hurt as much when it’s punctuated by Ted’s “he didn’ts” and Beard’s perfectly-timed gasps. 

You find yourself laughing halfway through, unable to stop. 

“And anyway,” you finish, cheeks painful from smiling so hard, “that’s why romantic love is a joke and I am drowning myself in platonic love forever.”

Ted and Beard share a look. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Beard says. 

You shoot him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“Well sweetheart,” Ted says, “between the two of us collectively,” here points between him and Beard, “we know of at least three of the boys on the team who are madly in love with you.”

“What?” you gasp, “How did you- where did you- who??”

Ted zips his lips and Beard tips a finger to him. “We know of five if we count Rebecca’s intel.”

You’re sitting cross-legged on the edge of Beard’s desk, in shock. “Rebecca knows about this??”

Ted and Beard shrug in unison. “We all have our opinions on which one should shoot their shot, but that’s neither here nor there,” Ted says. 

“Coincidentally, it’s the one thing we unanimously agree on,” Beard nods. 

You’re cut off from saying anything by the door opening. One of the players stands in the doorway. 

“Excuse me, coach,” he says, accent thick. 

Ted motions in a you have the floor type of way, and the footballer turns to address you of all people. “We’re all goin’ out tonight, and Keeley sent me to invite the new girl. None of the lads have really met you yet, just seen you ‘round. Thought it might be good for team bonding, or something. I’m Jamie, by the way.”

“Oh,” you say, taken aback. “I guess- yeah, I guess I haven’t really met them. I mean, I see you guys around and stuff and I’m at your games, but I don’t really know you. Are you sure you want me to come?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach is always on us about bein’ a team or some shit. And, havin’ a girl around makes the lads look good.”

You think that makes sense, and then find yourself agreeing to go out that night with a group of footballers you don’t know, and (thank god) Keeley Jones. 

You’re going to figure out which five before the summer’s over. 

—

You have nice time out with the lads. They go to a bar and cram into separate booths. You’re wedged in between two who have introduced themselves as Isaac and Dani, and across from Sam, Bumbercatch, and Jan Maas. Roy, Richard, and a few others you don’t know are milling about, and you see Jamie and Keeley at a table, surrounding by giggling girls. The sight is so absurd that you catch yourself smiling and turning back to whatever conspiracy Bumbercatch is telling you about now. 

—

You put Sam at the top of your list as soon as you get home. The man wears his heart on his sleeve, or maybe in his eyes, but you’re positive that he’s one of the five Ted and Beard referred to. One down, four to go. 

— 

It’s the end of July, and you begin to become friends with the team. You know for an absolute fact who is not interested in you, Jamie being one of them. Coincidentally, he’s the one you become closest to. You think it’s because you’re not worrying about sending mixed signals or leading him on. You dropped public hints about not really looking for anything romantic, just to be sure you wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

As it is, Jan Maas and Dani have made the list. Jan Maas, because he stifled his Dutch bluntness for you and Dani, because he openly declared he was madly in love with you in front of the whole team. 

—

Isaac makes the list in December. It had been in between him and Bumbercatch, but Isaac was the one who walked you to your car every night and the first one to say hello to you every morning. 

You’re not gonna lie, it was cute. 

You shared some of this with Ted and Beard, who remained impressively stone-faced. Rebecca proved to be equally impervious.

You shared all of it with your lunch-buddy-turned-work-bestie, Jamie. 

You ate with him because Rebecca was constantly in lunch meetings these days, and Ted, Beard, and Roy were always revamping their football strategies.

Jamie would plop down at your table and say, “What’s the news, Amy Hughes?” in his perfect Mancunian accent, and then listen/add commentary to whatever you had to say. 

You explained to him that the reason you wanted to know who liked you was so that you could be extra careful with their hearts. You knew what it was like to be led on, and you did NOT want to do that to someone else. 

Jamie nodded thoughtfully at that and then said, “We’re all footballers though, ain’t we? We get the shit end of the stick all the time, hearts broke by models and whatever. Even ends up in the fucking press. Everyone here’s has their heart broken before, and we all know you aren’t doing it on purpose.”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “I’m pretty sure it’s short end of the stick, Jamie.”

And thus begins your lunch hour of bickering. 

—

No one has made a move on you yet, and you don’t have a read on number five. You still think it may be Bumbercatch, but in reality, it slips from your mind. Sam’s moved on, Jan Maas has accepted defeat, Dani swears he will love you until the day he dies, and Isaac stays, well, Isaac. Still sweet. Still walking you to your car, coming round extra early in the morning with a coffee or a water, depending on which “looked less like shit.”

Really though, you don’t think about it until February first, when you walk into your office to a small box on your desk. 

At first, you think it’s a box of Ted’s biscuits. 

Then, you notice a small, scarlet-red rose taped to the top. There’s no note, and all that’s inside is a tiny paper heart. 

It’s folded with extreme care, and you place it on your shelf, smelling the rose. It smells amazing and you make a mental note to figure out where the heck it came from. But for now, it’s time to work. 

—

You don’t mention the gifts until February third, because now there’s been one a day. Each one with a scarlet red rose, and a different gift. Yesterday was an incredibly expensive bar of chocolate (it was life-changing) and today is a tiny gold bracelet.

It’s a simple enough chain, but it is absolutely breathtaking. There is no mistaking the fact that it is not cheap, so you take it and march straight to Rebecca’s office.  

“Rebecca,” you say, hands outstretched, “look.”

She does, smiles, then says, “It appears you have a secret admirer.”

“But I don’t want that!” you cry. “I don’t even have time for that! I don’t even like anybody right now!”

She peers at you over her glasses. “Don’t you?”

The sheer weight of those words is enough to physically knock you back two steps. 

You don’t, you swear you don’t, you’re absolutely sure. 

What about Vienna? a voice in the very back of your head nags.

You reply, out loud, “We don’t talk about Vienna,” and Rebecca just shrugs. 

“Have it your way,” she replies in a tone that means this conversation is over, but you’re the one ending it.

You turn on your heel and find yourself taking the route to Ted and Beard. 

You burst into their office in such a flurry that the entire room turns to look at you. “Close the door,” you say with such urgency, that Trent hurries to comply. Beard even shuts the blinds. 

“What’s on your mind, Ollie Cline?” Ted asks. 

“Wait,” you say, holding up a hand. You point to Roy. “Do you want to be here? It involves feelings.”

“Fuck no,” says Roy, “thanks for being fucking considerate.” He follows it up with a pointed glare at Ted, then goes into his office and firmly shuts the door. 

“Can he be here?” Ted asks, tilting his head toward Trent. 

“I don’t care, he’s probably a good one to have around for this because look!” You present the three collected roses and the bracelet. 

“Someone’s started leaving me gifts, and I’m pretty sure it’s a Valentine’s thing because of the roses, and it was fine for the first two days but this is expensive, and I can’t accept this!”

Ted and Beard share a look. You hate it when they do that and leave you out. 

Ted sighs. “Listen, do you think this about Vienna?”

You fix him with a glare. “No. We are not talking about Vienna ever again.”

Trent pipes up, “What’s Vienna?” and you wheel around on him, taking your glare with you. 

“Vienna," you spit, like it’s poisonous, “is a terrible, awful place where people think terrible, awful things. I never want to talk about it again and I never will.”

Trent nods. “Noted.” 

You turn back to Ted and Beard, pleadingly. “What do I do? Tell me what to do.”

Beard gets up and puts his hand on your shoulder. “Kid, if you want my advice, take the damn roses and wear the damn bracelet. These boys make more money than they know how to spend, so just let it go. They all know how you feel about dating, so if someone’s shooting their shot, they know the stakes.”

You shake your head. “Fine. Fine. I’ll let it go.” 

—

You decide to tell Jamie on day five, because it’s a Friday and you’re dying to get his take. You tell him everything, show him the roses in your office (hanging upside down to dry), and then hand him the notebook that was in today’s box. 

“Jamie,” you say, “this is an expensive notebook. There was a typed note inside that said, ‘for your drawings.’ How did this person even know I like drawing? I never talk about it!”

Jamie looks at you and laughs a little. You’re very flustered for something most people would enjoy. “Dunno, love, but we’ve all seen the sticky notes you leave Coach. That might be it.”

You groan and flop down into your chair. 

“At least tomorrow’s the weekend,” you say.

—

Jamie’s phone dings at 9:00am on Saturday with a text from you that says, what the actual heck and a picture of a brown bag at your doorstep. Inside is a plastic box of your favorite lemon muffin from a local bakery. He emphasized the image, then waits for your response. 

It was still warm, you write. It was someone who knows where I live and knows what time I leave to get breakfast.

Jamie grins and sends you a shrugging emoji, and you respond with an eye roll and a you’re no fun.

Jamie reads that and privately disagrees. He thinks he’s lots of fun

—

You’re pretty sure it’s Isaac. After all, he’s the only likely candidate. He’s one of the few who knows where you live and knows your routine. Not in a creepy way, in a we’re-good-friends type of way. You bring this up to Jamie, after personally banning all talk of this with Ted, Beard, and Rebecca. Stupid Vienna. You should never have told them. 

Jamie shrugs for the millionth, infuriating time. He’s been noncommittal this whole time. You’re over here pouring out your heart and soul, considering whether you like Isaac romantically or not, and all he can say is, “I dunno?” 

This is not the Jamie Tartt you’ve become best friends with. 

That Jamie would be down to hunt this secret admirer with you. That Jamie would be helping you figure out if Isaac had a chance with you. That Jamie would be way more engaged than the one sitting in front of you right now. 

But, you suppose maybe that Jamie died in Vienna, so you stop bringing it up.

—

It’s day ten. Valentine’s Day is in four day, and you’re nervous. 

You’ve decided you don’t like Isaac like that, mainly because it shouldn’t take you that long to decide if you like anyone. There has to be an initial spark, and you shouldn’t try to manufacture it. 

Still, you’re not sure it is Isaac, so you’re not going to say anything about it. The scarlet red roses hang on your office wall, permeating the room with their scent. 

You feel like you’re dying. 

This is a cruel joke and you’re dying. 

The building is basically empty right now. Rebecca and Higgins have some meeting, the team is on the pitch (including Will) and various other staff are somewhere far away from you. So, you jump a little when Trent Crimm comes tripping into your office. 

“Vienna,” he says, no greeting. “If you didn’t want to talk about it, you wouldn’t have told anyone. I’m assuming you do want to talk about it, but you don’t want judgement from the people you love. I’m here to offer my services as a neutral party.”

You look at him. “Trent. You are a journalist. Your whole job is writing down people’s secrets. Why on earth would I talk to you about the worst day of my life?”

Trent shrugs. “I’m good at keeping secrets. This would be off the record. I’ve never lied to people about off the record, also. I consider it bad journalism.”

You consider this for a moment, then sigh. 

“Alright,” you concede. “At least if this gets out, I know whose head I’m shaving in retaliation.”

Trent looks at you in surprise, seeing you in a whole new, slightly threatening light.

“It happened two months ago. It was around Christmas, and I didn’t have anywhere to go…”

—

Your family all had their own separate plans that Christmas. Plans that didn’t really involve you. Same with your friends. You said something casually to Rebecca, and the next day she told you she had booked you a trip to Vienna. Call it an early Christmas present, she said. It was at the Aumaris Vienna, and it was gorgeous and ridiculously out of your budget, but she said you worked hard and gave her peace-of-mind, and you can’t really put a price on that, can you?

So you went. 

But here’s the thing. 

Someone else didn’t have Christmas plans. 

So when you brought up your trip at your daily lunch, said someone else casually asked, can I come? 

You almost choked on your sandwich. 

Because here’s the other thing.

You were, maybe, kind of, possibly just a little bit head over heels in love with this someone else.

You’re not sure when it happened, really, just that it was probably in August and that it was soul-crushing because you knew for an absolute fact that he did not, and never would, feel the same way. 

You didn’t tell anyone except Keeley, but under the condition that she just let you say it and that she never, ever give you a response to it. Just listen. 

She did, but you were pretty sure she almost combusted. 

But who are you to say no when Jamie Tartt invited himself on your luxurious Christmas vacation saying, I’ll pay extra to get a plane ticket next to you? 

You were doomed from the start. 

To make matters totally and impossibly worse, he couldn’t find another room. 

He had his tickets, but the hotels, he said, were packed. 

It was Christmas, after all. 

So that’s how you ended up in a luxury hotel with Jamie Tartt for a week and a half, one day of which was Christmas. 

You know the, “there was only one bed” trope that everyone thinks is so cute?

It was that, but only if you add deep, shattering heartbreak to it. 

Because every night, you had to listen to Jamie say, “goodnight, love,” and then get into that giant, soft bed as far away from him as you could manage. 

Every morning you woke up to the pillow barricade long gone, one of his arms thrown around you. Or one of your legs on top of his. Or a million different scenarios where you end up literally asleep together, some weird gravity pulling you to each other. 

You were falling so hard and so fast, that you felt like the air was knocked from your lungs when Jamie started talking about the girl he liked. 

“She’s just so fucking beautiful,” he’d say, staring at an Alpine mountain. Or, “Swear she’s the smartest fucking person I’ve ever met,” while traipsing through the city. Or, “Pretty sure she’s ruined me for everyone else,” while getting facials at the hotel spa. 

To be fair, you were the one who teased him into admitting he liked someone. 

You just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. 

The entire trip felt like heaven and hell had simultaneously converged on you, and you never wanted to leave but also desperately counted the days till it was over. 

You came back and broke down in Rebecca’s office. Ted and Beard were there. The whole thing came spilling out, about how you loved the trip so much it felt like your heart would explode but that Jamie loved someone else. 

They all exchanged looks amongst themselves and did their best to comfort you. 

You pulled yourself together and they promised never to say anything to anyone. 

—

“So that’s Vienna,” you finish. 

Trent is just staring at you, mouth slightly agape. 

He finally says, “My god, that’s fucked,” with such emotion that you decide right then and there that you like Trent Crimm and his rainbow mug. 

Now, you just shrug. “I did it to myself, honestly. That’s why I’m tripping out about this secret admirer thing. And god, Trent, the roses. They’re so beautiful and it’s so romantic, and whoever it is obviously knows me well so there’s a part of me that wants to like this person, but…” you trail off. 

“But there’s a part of you that’s hoping against hope that Jamie’s behind it all,” Trent finishes. 

You let out a little laugh. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

Trent looks at the roses, then at you. “Maybe you should talk to Jamie,” he says, gently. 

You reply with a forceful, “No,” and then follow up with a small, “That’s what Ted and Rebecca say, too.” 

Trent stands up, shrugs, says with a small smile, “Just a thought,” then he’s out the way he came. 

—

It is Valentine’s Day. And it’s a Sunday, which means you are legally required to stay in bed until 10, at which point you will get out only to make yourself decent enough to go buy a good cup of coffee and maybe (definitely) something to eat. 

You’ve just finished putting on your shoes, when there’s a knock at the door. 

You take a breath, and get ready to let down your secret admirer as gently as possible. 

You swing open the door to reveal- 

“Jamie! What are you doing here?”

Jamie Tartt is on your doorstep, hands behind his back, looking shyer than the day you first met. 

He opens his mouth and says the last thing you’d ever expect:

“D’you remember Vienna?”

Your heart, which had already been going fast because his dumb floppy hair was all dumb and floppy in his stupid, cute headband, is now working double time. You manage a nod. 

Jamie takes this as permission to continue. “D’you remember how I couldn’t get another room, no matter how hard I tried? That wasn’t true. I could’ve.” He pauses, and you wait for him to continue. 

“And d’you remember when we met, when I told you Keeley told me to invite you out? That was a lie too.”

You tilt your head, confused. He keeps going. 

“Look- I fucked it. I fucked it a million times and I told Ted and I told Beard, but they kept helping me un-fuck it and giving me chances, and then Rebecca bought two tickets to Vienna and slipped me the other one, and they all told me I had a perfect shot.” 

You’re still not understanding what he’s saying. He might as well be speaking another language. Jamie sees the confusion in your eyes, takes a breath, and tries again. 

“Keeley told me to invite you out, but only because I’d seen you around and thought you were fit. Then Isaac and all the lads thought the same thing, so I didn’t even get to fuckin’ sit with you. And then you started sayin’ things about not bein’ ready for a relationship, so I tried to let it go. I really fucking tried. But I just couldn’t. Your eyes are too sparkly and your laugh is too fucking cute and I couldn’t let it go, so I started eating lunch with you and you fucking let me. I knew the moment I said anything about liking you, it was over.”

Comprehension has started to dawn, but you push down hope until Jamie’s done speaking. 

“Everyone told me to shoot my shot in Vienna. We shared a bed, for fuck’s sake.” Here, Jamie looks bewildered. “But I dunno, I didn’t want to make shit weird. So when you asked if I liked anyone I said yeah, and started fuckin describing you, but you never fucking picked up on it. That’s when I got the idea to try one more time. All by meself, no help from anyone else. So…yeah.”

Jamie Tartt is standing on your porch confessing his love for you on Valentine’s Day and it is not a dream, because if it were your teeth would be falling out and his hair would probably be neon pink. 

“I’m an idiot,” you breathe. “You like me? Like, like-like me?”

Jamie quirks a smile at that. “Not quite, darling. Pretty fucking sure I love you.” He pulls his hand from behind his back to reveal a bunch of scarlet red roses. The same from each gift. 

“Got these for you,” he says. “D’you know how hard it is to get red roses in February?”

You don’t answer him because you’re leaping into his arms, kissing him like you’ve thought about doing every day for what feels like forever. He’s kissing you back, hand with the flowers pressed against your back, other hand in your hair. 

“I love you too, Jamie,” you whisper against his mouth. He smiles and pulls you in again. 

[polkadotpenguin16]

The Five Stages of Grief: Prologue

Broken promises and unspoken words bring your relationship with Sonny Carisi to the edge. You both mourn what was lost and wonder if you can find each other again.

A/N: waaaay back in like March, I came to @misscharlielulu with a silly headcanon, and she helped evolve it into a full-fledged story. Massive shout-out to @escapingrealtiylovinginsanity who so kindly reviewed my drafts and gave me excellent notes. Extra huge thank you to both these lovelies <3

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: much angst; super brief mention of SVU-related violence; anti-Rollisi content; I am not a writer - this is literally the first story I’ve ever written, so read at your own risk

Word count: 3K+ (I know it’s long, I’m sorry!)

This was it – tonight was finally date night. It was long overdue. Two months and five days to be exact. Whenever you and Sonny tried making plans to spend some quality time together, things just never worked out. The first night, you two were supposed to see a movie and get some gelato. Sonny called around noon saying he wouldn’t be back in time. “No big deal,” you told him. You wanted to make him feel better since you knew he felt bad about canceling. The second night, you were going to try a new Chinese restaurant that opened near the Brooklyn apartment you shared. You had almost finished your makeup when he called to say a case just came in and it was all hands on deck.

“I’m sorry, doll. I know I’m letting you down again.”

“Don’t worry about it, Sonny.” You tried to keep your voice light. You didn’t want him to hear how disappointed you were. “You’ve got people who need your help. I get it. Your job’s more important than some greasy Chinese food.”

“It’s not more important than you.” You believed him, although a small part of you was beginning to have doubts. “I’m gonna make this up to you, I swear to God.”

Tonight was attempt number three, and he wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to make it up to you. He made reservations at a very nice restaurant in Midtown. “Only the best for my girl,” he told you earlier this week. “And I wanna see you in that red dress I love.”

That’s exactly what you were wearing. A velvet, off-the-shoulder dress with a skirt that whimsically twirled as you moved. You spent more than an hour curling your hair and putting on your makeup. You felt like a million bucks and couldn’t wait for him to see you.

You sat in a cushy booth, nursing a glass of rosé while waiting for Sonny to arrive. You really needed this time with him, and you were sure he felt the same way. Your paths had barely crossed recently between his late nights and early mornings. During the few moments you were able to connect, you noticed how distant he was. His furrowed brow was becoming a permanent fixture on his face. You were worried about him, afraid he was spreading himself too thin. His job seemed to be taking a toll on him.

That’s actually how you met. You were a receptionist at a small bank, and he showed up one day to interview your colleague. When he came back a week later for a follow-up, he asked you out for coffee. You knew the broad strokes of the kinds of cases he investigated, but anything he shared with you was surface-level. He told you he felt fulfilled helping the victims. He had gone to law school and passed the bar to become a better cop. He liked his colleagues: his lieutenant, the ADA, but especially his partner, Amanda.

From the few times you’d met, it was easy to see why Sonny was so fond of her. He told you she was one of the best detectives he’d ever worked with. She spoke very intelligently about her work. Her southern accent made her voice incredibly engaging, even if you didn’t completely understand the intricacies of the conversation. She was impressively quick-witted. She and Sonny were always cracking inside jokes that flew over your head. She was also very beautiful. Stunningly tall and her blonde hair was always perfectly primped.

Sonny also told you she was a single mother who didn’t have any support system here in New York, which is why he tried to help her out as much as he could. He’d offer to watch her kids or help her with errands. They often went out for drinks after they’d closed a case, whether it be a good one or bad one.  Sonny and Amanda were exceptionally close…

And you would be lying if you said that didn’t make you feel insecure. You and Sonny would be having dinner together and he would be texting her on his phone, focused on a completely different conversation. She’d call evenings and weekends needing help and he’d drop everything to assist.

It made you feel inadequate.

You felt like you weren’t interesting enough to keep his attention. Weren’t smart enough to talk with him about his work. He didn’t trust you enough to confide in. Not like he did Amanda. All the things you felt like you lacked, you saw in her. Not that you would ever mention any of this to Sonny. How could you? She was his partner, his friend.

Best friend.

No one likes a jealous girlfriend. No, this was a “you” problem to sort out. You should just enjoy whatever time with him you have. Like tonight.

You took a break from picking apart your sourdough roll to check the time. 7:45. You tried not to worry – it wasn’t unlike Sonny to be a little late. You decided to wait a little longer before checking in. You didn’t want to nag.

8 o’clock rolled around and you couldn’t help it any longer, so you decided to shoot him a text.

Hi sunshine, let me know when you’re on your way :)

Another 30 minutes passed when your game of Candy Crush was interrupted by his reply.

Hey doll, I’m gonna be home late. I’m taking Rollins home and helping her get the kids in bed. You don’t have to wait up for me, I’ll see you in the morning.

You read the text again, and one more time to be certain. Because you must’ve been mistaken. He couldn’t have forgotten tonight, and he would never stand you up. Date nights were so important to Sonny. He used to text you all day about how excited he was, and he’d always show up early because he couldn’t wait to see you. Yet here you were. He ditched you for Amanda.

Again.

You asked the waiter to bring you the check for the drink you had. Utterly sick to your stomach, there was no way you would be ordering anything to eat, no matter how good the place smelled. You held back your tears and walked out of the restaurant to go home.

You kicked off your shoes when you arrived, then walked into the bathroom. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and paused. You saw your hair that you’d done up so nicely, your makeup that you spent so long trying to get just right, and your dress…that goddamn red dress.

You finally let yourself cry. The tears came hard and fast. You not-so-gracefully wiggled your dress off. It felt like you were in a straitjacket. Once you managed to get it unfastened, you chucked it into the hallway. You collapsed on the floor, overwhelmed by all the emotions you’d been holding back.

Disappointment, anger, betrayal. But more than anything, loneliness. And honestly, you’ve felt alone for a while. So many questions were floating in your head. Did he still love me? Did he ever? Or was Amanda always there between you? Did he…did he love her?

Your body began to shake. You were confronted by all the insecurities you’d been repressing. The walls of the bathroom felt like they were closing in. It was suffocating. The air was wrenched from your lungs as they squeezed tighter and tighter around you. You needed to get out of there.

You shakily stood up and started pacing frantically around your apartment. When you made it to the living room, you stopped in front of the fireplace. On the mantle were a dozen or so framed photos. Some of just you Sonny had taken, but most with both of you. At the park, at an Islander’s game, and your first anniversary. Seeing all these memories made you grieve the relationship you thought you had had.

Was it all a lie?

You weren’t sure anymore but knew you wouldn’t be able to figure anything out while in that apartment.

Through your tears, you scroll through your phone to find your best friend’s number. It was late, but she was a night owl, you knew she’d answer.

“What’s up, girlfriend?” You could hear her munching on chips and what sounded like a Star Wars movie playing in the background.

“Um, hey…” You tried to keep your voice even, but she saw right through it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She knew you too well.

“Nothing, I-I just…I hate to even ask…can I stay at your place?”

“Of course you can,” she soothed immediately. “You always have a place here. What’s going on?”

The story came out in a depressing, uninterrupted stream. You thought you’d feel lighter getting everything off your chest, but you didn’t.

“Oh, my God, that’s…wow.” You heard the shock at how Sonny had been acting turn into a sympathetic wince. “I’m so sorry, babe.”

“I don’t even know what to do anymore,” you muttered, fighting back your tears.

“You’re coming over here and we’ll sort things out. Want me to pick you up?”

“No, I can get a ride. Just…thank you.”

“None needed, you’d do the same for me.”

You pulled your duffel bag out of the closet and started chaotically packing. Grabbing things haphazardly off the bathroom counter. Pulling clothes out of drawers without paying attention to whether they matched. You didn’t care. You needed to put distance between you and that apartment so you could clear your mind and think about the future of your relationship.

Sonny was starting to get a little worried. He hadn’t heard from you since his last text, which you didn’t respond to. He always worried about you, but this was different. Stirring a pot of marinara with one hand, he pulled his phone out of his pocket with the other.

He just had to check one more time.

He was interrupted by two tiny, blonde tornadoes running laps around his legs. He had to admit that while Rollins’ girls were adorable, they could be a bit distracting. He sat his phone down and playfully chased them back into their room so he could get back to finishing dinner. He didn't even think about it again until after they finished eating. By then, it was too late to call since you were probably sleeping.

It had been such a long day. He was up before 5 and didn’t clock out until nearly 8. They’d been working on a difficult case that left the team feeling torn. A little boy disappeared in the night, kidnapped by his nanny. Once they found him, it sadly appeared that the boy would’ve been better off with his kidnapper than his irresponsible parents. As everyone left, he noticed something was up with Rollins. When probed, she said that the case had gotten to her. She was having doubts about whether she was a good enough mother and if she could take care of her kids alone. So, he offered to give her a ride and cook dinner for them. How could she say no to that?

He thought Rollins was a great partner and admired her. When he first joined, he even had a crush on her. However, she made it clear she was not interested. He had since moved on from those feelings. He still cared about her, but in a brotherly way. She didn’t come from a tight-knit family like him. His Italian genes wouldn’t let him sit back and not help when he saw her struggle. That was Sonny’s job: helping people and fixing things.

After herding the girls into bed and making sure Rollins ate, he made his way home. He could barely keep his eyes open as he drove. God, was he tired. Not just from today. They’d been understaffed for months, so he’d been picking up extra shifts. Between the mandatory overtime, dealing with his sisters, and trying to support Rollins, he felt like he didn’t have much left to give. The only thing keeping him going was you. He couldn’t wait to lay in bed and cuddle up beside you. Somehow you made all the bad things in the world right. You didn’t even have to do anything. Your presence was enough to chase away the demons that haunted him.

He quietly closed the front door to not wake you. He heard rustling coming from the bedroom. Looking down the hall, he saw light peering from the ajar door. You must’ve been awake. He was delighted he would have a few minutes to chat with you before falling asleep. Walking down the hallway, he noticed a small pile of red fabric on the floor. Confused but too tired to care, he walked past it to the bedroom. Opening the door, he saw you rummaging through the closet.

“Hey, doll, glad you’re still up,” he mumbled. He then noticed the half-filled duffel bag in the middle of the room. “What’s with the bag? Going on a trip?” He asked with a chuckle.

You hesitated for a second before turning to face him. His stomach immediately dropped when he saw your eyes were rimmed with red, and mascara was streaking down your cheeks. It was clear you’d been crying.

“Oh, my god, what happened?” He quickly approached you to check if you were alright.

You dodged his advance and returned to packing, leaving Sonny puzzled. He paused to take stock of the situation in front of him. He didn’t see any blood or bruises, so you probably weren’t hurt. You were obviously upset about something. Was it because he came home late? And why were you packing a bag at this hour…

It finally clicked what was happening and alarm bells went off in his head.

“Hey, slow down!” He started taking things out of your bag. “Look, I’m sorry I was home late. Rollins—she was having a hard time, and I was trying to help—”

Without acknowledging him, you picked the bag off the floor and moved it to the bed, out of his reach. You didn’t want to hear excuses, nor did you want to hear about that woman. The air in the room felt painfully thick, making it hard to breathe. You wanted to get out of there, to clear your mind.

Sonny’s confusion spiraled into irritation. He was practically dead on his feet. The last thing he wanted was to deal with you having some kind of tantrum. “Come on, doll, aren’t you being a bit dramatic here?”

You finally stopped and stared him straight in the eye. “Well,” your voice was deceptively calm, “getting stood up by your boyfriend can have that effect on you.”

“Stood up? What’re you talking—”

Date night. Shit. The reservations. Oh SHIT. The red dress in the hallway…

His eyes went big, and his heart hit the floor. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry—”

You felt tears starting to well up again. You bit your lower lip and went back to packing.

Sonny just stood there, rubbing the back of his neck. His first instinct was to go and touch you, but he knew better than to do that right now. He just wanted to hold you. To make all this go away. He hated seeing you cry, and knowing he was the reason? He wanted to puke. If he could just get you to listen, he could fix this.

“What’re doing? Doll, please stop,” he frantically asked.

“I’m going to my friend’s place.” You didn’t even look up. “I’m tired of being an afterthought, Sonny. I need some time to think.”

“Think about what? Sweetheart, please just talk to me.” He was grasping at straws trying to get you stop. “I-I’m sorry, just—I can fix this—will you please just stop for a second—"

But you weren’t stopping, and he was getting frustrated. Why wouldn’t you just talk to him?

“So that’s it then. You’re solving this by walking out on me?” He accused with venom in his voice. “If I hadn’t come home just now, you wouldn’t even be here!” His arms started flailing and his voice got louder and louder with each word. “Is that all this relationship meant to you? That you’d just pick up and leave after a mistake? No discussion, no talking, NOTHING?!”

His shouting startled you, making you stop dead in your tracks. You clench your eyes shut and your hands begin to tremble.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He immediately softened his tone and held his hands in front of him, trying to look less intimidating. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

He regretted raising his voice as soon as the words left his lips. He didn’t mind getting loud and angry at a perp, but he always tried to leave “Detective Carisi” at the precinct. Home was sacred, where he could be soft and gentle. With you, he was just “Sonny” or your “sunshine.” He hoped he still could be.

“Listen to me, please,” he begged. “You’ve got every right to be mad at me. I screwed up, big time, and I couldn’t be more sorry about that.” You looked at him, still shaken, with tears rolling down your cheeks. He realized there was nothing he could do to fix this tonight. It was too much. “Look, it’s late. You’re tired, I’m tired—let’s sleep on this,” he proposed. “I understand you need some space, so I’ll sleep on the couch. The room is all yours. Just…please don’t go.”

You were on the brink of losing control, too overwhelmed by everything. You couldn’t stay. You shook your head. “I have spent too many nights alone in this bedroom, Sonny. I-I need to go.”

That shattered him.

“Okay, I hear you.” He was trying to figure out how to salvage this. “Just for tonight. You’ll come back tomorrow, and we’ll work this out.”

Your phone pinged from where it sat on the dresser. “My ride’s here, I’ve gotta go.”

“You’re coming back tomorrow, okay?” He pleaded. But you walked right past him. “Will you please text me when you get there so I know you’re safe?”

The closing of the front door echoed throughout the now silent apartment. Sonny stood there dumbfounded. He looked at the chaos of half-opened drawers and things thrown about. Something caught his eye in the corner of the room. His gray Fordham hoodie.

It was your favorite and you had claimed it as your own. It was left folded on the chair. You didn’t take it with you. He picked it up and stared at it. You wore it practically every day because it smelled like him and comforted you, and you didn’t take it with you. Somehow this hurt more than anything else that night. He wadded the ratty sweater up and hurled it across the room.

[thetravelingmaster]

Short Story: Job Interview

One sided conversation point of view - Powers

Model : Mikayla Demaiter

Hello there...

If I'm not mistaken, you're the man that hired us for this party, right?

...

Yeah I thought so!

I'm sorry for springing this on you while the party's still going, but I was talking to one of the other girls hired to huh... Beautify this party...

And huh... Apparently, you host a LOT of parties all year round and if I heard correctly, you are looking to hire a few permanent girls to make sure your parties are always... Beautiful. 

*Winks*

Well if that's true, I'd like to throw my name in the ring, so to speak. I'd LOVE to contract with you for a year of fun parties!

...

Right! Not a problem! But huh… How do I 'test my compatibility', exactly? I'm pretty willing to try anything to secure such a fun job!

...

Just look into your eyes? Huh... Sure... Ok...

But why would...

Oh woooowwww....

You're... Eyes...

Are so...

B... Beauti...fu...llll....

Are… Are th…ey… Sp…a…r…k…l…i…n…g…

...

*Blinks rapidly*

Woah... That felt so weird...

...

No no!!! A good weird I assure you!

Looking into your eyes made me feel all... Warm... You know?

*Steps off the bench and steps closer*

HHmmm... Anyway...

*Casually unties the knot holding her top*

So... Was that the compatibility thing? Did I pass?

*Removes top*

...

Did I notice what?

*Looks down at her topless chest*

Oh wow! I didn't even realize I took it off!

*Looks back up with a smile*

...

*Pushes her chest out proudly, giggling*

Thank you, kind sir!

I’m rather proud of them too, after all, they do get me plenty of jobs in the business.

Although...

*Looks back down at her chest*

Part of me can't help but feel this is pretty strange…

Not that I’m ashamed of my tits or anything, but I usually don’t show them off so… Openly…

Especially to a potential employer!

…

*Looks back up*

What do you mean I should be happy?

Oh! Do you mean to say that it means I’m compatible?

…

That’s awesome!

*Looks back down at her chest, frowning*

Wait…

Like... What... Huh... Exactly… Am I compatible for?

...

Nothing I need to worry about huh?

Yeah... I guess you are right... The important thing I need to focus on is that I AM compatible and that means I'm eligible for the job, right?

It won’t bother me until later because nothing else really matters right now!

*Smiles seductively*

Like… Now that we know I'm eligible...

Is there anything else you need to check before you consider hiring me?

...

Really? Huh...

Anna didn't mention the job required me to live in your home...

Do you really host THAT many parties?

...

Oh I see... Yeah that tracks... I mean... If most of your parties are last minute affairs... Like... It WOULD be easier to have your hired pretty girls close by to make sure your reputation for having ‘beautiful’ parties remains unsullied...

HHmmm...

Honestly… That's not really the type of gig I was looking for...

...

You want me to look into your eyes again?

Of course! I always want to look into your eyes!

They're so nice to look at...

So... Ca...pt...i...va...t...i...n...g...

...

*Blinks rapidly*

HHmm... That felt super nice...

I'm sorry... I got distracted there... What were we saying?

*Unconsciously pulls down her bottom outfit and panties*

...

Oh that's right!

No no... It makes perfect sense to want your hired girls to live with you. And like... I'd be an idiot not to see the benefits of being lodged while I serve out my contract! Cuts down on my expenses you know?

In fact... I just remembered that I was sort of looking for a job with such awesome benefits so yeah... If you hire me, I'm more than willing to move in while I work for you!

Although...

If I like... Live here... Does that mean that I'm expected to work like... ALL the time?

...

Most of the time huh?

Seems like a lot to sign up for... I mean... Don't get me wrong... Like... The job’s SUPER alluring and all... But it sounds like I won't have that much free time...

I mean... I get that I'd be required to stay close for last minute parties and such...

But if I do stay close... Why would I be required to be IN your home most of the time?

...

*Smiles mischievously as her hand slips down and rubs her clit*

Oh I get it now... I'd be hired to 'beautify' your parties AND your home. Anna should really have mentioned that part from the start, it would have made things a lot clearer! Especially since I wasn’t even aware ‘beautifying’ a rich man’s home was even a thing!

Not as an official job anyway… 

But huh… Now that I think about it…

Why do I get the feeling you're going to expect a little more from me than just admiring my half naked body every day?

...

*Giggles*

No! I’m not saying you're not handsome enough... Because you certainly are… A girl could be tempted to let things drift towards less... Professional activities…

*Winks*

But I'm afraid you'll be disappointed if you think I won't be able to resist your charms! I mean... I'm just not that kind of girl... Not totally at least... I mean I LOVE to flirt as much as the next gal… I mean... Like... Isn't it all part of being a hired party girl?

...

*Frowns*

What do you mean this particular job requires more than what I'm used to as a party girl? Are you telling me that if you hire me, I'll be expected to like... Put out for you?

*Laughs*

Sorry... I think I completely misunderstood the type of job Anna was alluding to. I'm not looking to find a job like THAT! I mean... It sounds a lot like you are looking to hire a call girl or something...

...

HHmm...

Yeah ok... Sure... You make a good point...

After everything is like... Said and done... You ARE hiring sex objects... I get that... But that doesn't mean there's actual sex involved!

I mean... If that's what's expected of me if I'm hired... Then I don't know if I want to apply...

...

What do you mean I'm sending mixed signals?

*Looks down at herself*

Oh god! I didn't realize I was... Wow... I'm sooooo sorry!

...

Well even if you don't mind the show... I mean... I'm not... Like... Masturbating like this on purpose or anything...

Wait... Why can't I stop rubbing myself?

...

Hahaha...

Yeah right... You're handsome and all... But saying you are just too handsome for me to resist touching myself is a bit of a stretch!

Although... I am pretty fucking wet...

When did that happen?

Ok... What's happening to me?

...

What do you mean 'it's just the results of my high compatibility'?

*Eyes grow wide in realization*

Wait... I went topless without noticing too...

...

What? No... I'm pretty sure this isn't normal! I would never just... You know... Like this...

...

Yes... Of course... I always want to look into your eyes...

They're so nice to look at...

Wait... They... Are doing... Some...Thing...

I must... Look away...

I...

I can't...

L...o...o...k... A...w...aaaa...yyy.....

...

*Blinks rapidly*

Hhhmmm... There's just something so soothing about your eyes...

I just can't help looking into them!

*Looks down at her active fingers and smiles*

I can't believe I'm doing this... But you're right, I just can't help myself...

*Looks up and notices the bulge in his pants*

Looks like you can't quite help yourself either...

Even if I'm super comfortable touching myself in front of you, maybe I should stop

so we can both focus on the interview.

After all... It's the only important thing right now... Right?

...

No silly!

What kind of girl would I be if it bothered me to see you this aroused while I masturbated nude in front of you? It's fine I assure you!

Anyway... Have I proven myself enough of a good fit to get the job? Or is there more to this impromptu interview?

…

A talent demonstration? Ok…

I'm huh... Not sure what you expect from me... I mean... You've already seen me at your party tonight... I think I did a pretty good job of 'beautifying' the event...

*Her hips start to sway rhythmically*

Unless... You mean you want to see if I can dance? Like... The party tonight isn't really set up with a dance floor so I couldn't show off my moves.

...

*Giggles*

It's a shame that's not what you need me to demonstrate... But you're right... I'm sure you'll get plenty of opportunities to watch me dance if you hire me.

So if it's not my dance moves you need me to show off, what else can this pretty girl do to prove she deserves to be hired?

...

*Her left eyebrow lifts in surprise while she continues to sway her hips*

Really? You weren't kidding then...

*Her eyes dart down to his crotch*

I mean... Not that I'm against being a little more than eye candy... Like you said before... Why not have fun while I work right?

But...

I feel like asking me to demonstrate my 'oral talents' during my interview means that the main reason you are hiring me is for the sex rather than just being eye candy for you and your guests.

If it is... Then I'm not sure how I feel about that...

...

What was that?

*Looks down and realizes she is still masturbating*

*She looks up with a sheepish smile*

Ok well... I can't really fault you for thinking I would be ok with that... Huh... Request... Seeing as I'm still masturbating even though I thought I stopped...

But like... Earlier... You made it sound like the sex was just a fun part of the job... Not an actual requirement... And... If you need me to prove my talents to get the job… Then… Like... Doesn't that imply that it's the other way around and sex IS the actual job I'm applying for right now?

...

Thought so... Well if that's the case... I'm not sure I'm a good fit for this job...

Don't get me wrong... I'm more than willing to sleep with you during my term when the mood strikes! We are both attractive people... But I'd feel weird... Wrong even... To be like… Hired for the sex I offered...

You know?

...

No... I'm pretty sure I'm not masturbating because I want to be hired as your sexual plaything... That's just... Wrong... Isn't it?

...

Look into your lovely eyes?

Sure... I always want to look into your eyes...

So warm... So familiar...

So captivating... I can't resist them...

Something happ...e...nss...

Wh...en... I look... In...to... your... e...y...e...s…

I… Just… C…a…n't...

L...o...o...k... a...w...aaaa...yyy.....

...

*Blinks rapidly*

HHHHMMMMmmm... Fuck that feels so amazing...

Looking into your eyes is like... I don't know...

Intense...

Makes me feel so fucking good…

Wait... Are we in your bedroom? Weren't we in your backyard?

That's weird... I don't remember coming here at all...

...

No of course... You're right... Why should it bother me?

What I really need to focus on is this interview, nothing else should matter to me right now. Not if I want to get the job and I really want this job!

*Looks down at the bulge in his pants and blushes*

So huh... You really weren't kidding right? You know… When you said the job included... Huh... Sex...

...

No no! Of course I remember! I'm not THAT much of a clueless klutz! It's just... Well... I've never huh... Had a job like that... So... I guess I'm a little nervous...

You know?

...

Oh I know everything will be fine! I completely trust you and your hiring process! That's not the issue per say… I mean… I’m more than willing to show you my oral talents… 

It’s just...

I'm just not sure...

I mean... I’ve never… You know… Had a job like this before… As fun as it sounds… Something tells me that maybe… I’m not the right girl for the job…

...

Yeah ok sure... My high compatibility or whatever… Makes me the perfect girl for the job...

But I don't know...

Besides... What DOES that even mean? You haven't answered that yet. What am I highly compatible with?

...

Your eyes?

Yeah... I know what you mean... It feels so wonderful to look into them...

But... How can being highly compatible with the relaxing effects of your special eyes make me the perfect girl for the job?

…

*Blinks in disbelief*

Wait wait wait... Back up a minute...

What are you saying exactly? That can't be right... You can't just take control of people like that...

...

What?

*Looks down at her fully undressed body*

Ok... I... I'll admit I don't remember getting naked...

Wait... You’re serious… Aren’t you?

Oh god… This can’t be happening… I have to leave!

...

NO! 

I won't relax and... Look into your eyes… I… I mustn’t… 

You’ll take control again…

*Head lifts up and she looks into his eyes*

Oh god... I can't help it... I... I WANT to look into your eyes...

But I can't... You'll... Do... Things...

Fuuckk... Your eyes... They make me... Feel... So nice...

I... Don't... Want... To look... Away...

HHmmm...

So... C...a...p...t...i...v...a...t...i...n...g...

...

*Blinks rapidly*

HHHmmm... DAMN that feels so incredible… Like a massage for my brain…

It gets better and better...

*She kneels down in front of him sitting on the edge of the bed*

Say... If you do hire me... Will you keep looking into my eyes like that?

...

*Giggles*

You’ll do it to me as much as I want huh? Sounds pretty alluring to me…

*Moves forward and unconsciously places his cock between her tits*

Consider me doubly motivated to prove I'm worth it because I just can't get enough of how they make me feel! 

...

Right... I vaguely remember you saying something like that… But like... Why should it bother me if you take control of me with your eyes?

*Her hands come up and pushes her tits around his shaft*

...

Well I can see how some girls wouldn't like that…

But they just don’t know how safe it is to let you take control, that’s all!

*Smiles mischievously*

Besides… I’m sure that if they had a taste of your special control… They’d love how it felt just as much as I do…

*She starts moving her tits up and down his shaft*

...

Ahhh... Makes sense that I only feel this way because I'm highly compatible...

*Giggles*

I'll have to thank my lucky stars then... Not only does it give me a chance to get this amazing job opportunity... But it also allows me to feel the incredible effects of your eyes...

Although...

I'll admit that it's still a little unsettling that you can make me do things without me realizing I'm doing them! 

…

*Looks down at herself and giggles*

Oh my... Now how did THAT get there?

*Licks her lips as she notices the drop of precum on his shaft*

I'll admit, I'm kind of grateful to find myself suddenly stroking your cock like this... It completely bypasses my nervousness from before...

*Looks up and smiles*

I guess we could call it a benefit of being controlled... Right?

...

*Giggles*

Yeah... That was pretty strange to say…

Is that... HHmm... Your doing?

...

Thought as much!

*Giggles*

I guess that means you can control more than just my body! I have to admit... That's equally as frightening as it is fascinating...

*Continues to stroke up and down for a few moments*

So huh... I know I shouldn't be this curious... But since it looks like you'll be sampling my erotic delights regardless of what I would normally decide... May I ask for a favor?

...

It's nothing much... But so far, it feels like you've subtly used your eyes to make me do and think things without really noticing I was doing it… At first anyway…

*Giggles*

I'm not sure if it's even possible... But I'm curious to FEEL your control... I mean... Like... More than what I feel in your eyes… Is… Is that even possible? Or does your strange power only work one way?

...

It is possible? Great!

So all I have to do now is look into your eyes... Right?

*Smiles broadly as she does*

OOOhhh... I think I just... Felt the difference...

HHmmm... Fuck... That... F...ee...ls... SOO much better...

YYYeeesss...

I... Can... F...e...e...l... my...s...e...l...f... Sl...i...pp...ing...

...

*Blinks rapidly before licking her lips*

HHHHMMM.... Fuuccckk...

That was... HHmmm... Wow...

*Drools as she looks down to her chest*

Oh god... Your... Your cock!

That's... Oh yes... That's you isn't it?

Oh fuck... I can't...

I NEED it... Pp...Please?

I... need to suck it...

...

OH GOD thank you... MMMMFFF!

*Her mouth envelops his shaft in one smooth gulp*

*Moans around his girth before lavishing it with attention*

...

*Sucks up his length*

Fuck... Yes... FUCK yes...

*Looks up while her hands keeps stroking*

You're so fucking right... I... I've never felt so... GOOD... Sucking cock before... That's you too... Right?

...

Oh god... This is sooooo amazing... I mean... WOW...

It... It almost feels like I'm fucking!

*Kisses and licks his shaft a few times*

Come to think of it...

I... I didn't even think to resist the urge I felt... Fuck...

You were right...

*Licks and kisses his cock as she stroked*

With my high compatibility to your eyes... HHMMM...

*She shivers as she kisses his cock*

It really does make me perfect for the job… Because it's clear you can make me do… HHmm… Or want... Anything you wish...

*She focuses on licking the underside of his helm, making him moan*

I... I know it's wrong to wish for this...

But... Fuck...

This feels too amazing to pass up...

*She smiles seductively up at him*

...

Yes... Even after I've learned what it means to be hired...

I... I still want you to hire me.

Not that I'd have much of a choice in the matter if you already decided to hire me or not...

After all... I have the sneaking suspicion that you could just as easily fuck my brains out tonight and send me on my way without me finding anything odd or wrong about it.

Right?

*Winks playfully*

...

*Giggles*

I might look like a blonde bimbo... But I'd like to think I'm more clever than the average party girl...

*Sucks around the head for a few moments*

Which also allows me to deduce that your 'job offer' is really just an excuse to find pretty compatible girls to fill up your lovely home with what amounts to an obedient little Harem of girls you fully molded to your liking with special power...

That's what I'm REALLY auditioning for right now... Right?

...

*Giggles*

No... I can't say it bothers me that I’m actually interviewing for a… Well… Harem girl position…

I’ll admit that it’s like… Clearly NOT what I expected when I looked for you tonight, but honestly, I’m not disappointed that I am.

*Kisses his cock head*

Especially not after experiencing how amazing your control feels and how pleasurable it can make my...

*Giggles*

Expected duties…

*Giggles as she resumes sucking*

*Slowly worships his manhood*

...

*Looks up in to his eyes, cock still in her mouth* 

*Her up and down moves slow down*

*Her gaze grows vacant*

...

*Blinks rapidly as shot after shot splashes on her face*

HHmm… OOHHH!!!

Fuck…

*Giggles*

That felt so amazing… And god… Waking up to your sudden release…

Wow… Feels like you just claimed me… Christened me even…

*Wipes a big globe from her cheeks and makes of show of tasting it*

Hhmm… If this means what I think it means… Then I’m looking forward to fully converting to my new object of worship…

*Licks her lips while winking seductively*

You know… Your eyes are really amazing because right now, I’m not afraid to say that they turned me into a new convert that is eager to worship your control and I have great faith that my surrender to your special power will bring me infinite pleasures…

…

*Giggles*

What? No! Why would you pay someone you can completely mind control with your eyes? I already feel like you own me… And… Like… Why would you give a salary to someone you own? It makes no sense. 

Especially since the benefits of said ownership feels so damn incredible…

…

*Smiles brightly*

Thank you! Huh… Sir… I’ll do my very best to live up to your expectation and if I don’t, please feel free to use your eyes on me until I have no choice but to fulfill them.

[thrawns-backrest]

Prompted by this post and the related interview, reason 15467352 why I think Dave Felony isn’t up to the task of writing live action Star Wars.

I was going to harp about how this proves Filoni hasn’t read the books but this interview is from before the canon trilogies were out so touché on that. And yet this just proves to me why Filoni isn’t the guy for the job of writing Thrawn. Or any live action imperials for that matter.

I’ll start by saying that one thing I will concede is that the notion of the Imperial military being plagued by incompetent officers is not entirely unrealistic. Given that it’s a stratocracy, you can expect to find people who used politics to climb the ranks rather than actual military competence - it’s a kind of French Revolution situation kind of thing. Historically it’s been known to happen in our world.

Combine that with the fact that the Empire is racist, elitist and (kind of) sexist as all hell and you have a limited pool of people to pick from when filling its ranks, pushing some genuine talent to the fringes or excluding it altogether.

The thing I’m entirely tired of seeing though is the implication that it’s the majority of Imperial leadership that’s like this and by this I mean incompetent. The overwhelming majority at that. But more on the Empire’s moronicity later, let’s talk about Thrawn.

“He’s not ambitious in the way where he needs to see himself promoted, or a governor one day. He purely wants to dissect them; that’s what he enjoys!” This. This grinds my gears so much. For starters it proves that Filoni sees Thrawn as this ‘quirky baddie’ where Zahn treats him as an actual person. There’s something almost condescending in taking a neurodivergent coded character and being like ‘aww, look at them, they’re so happy doing their little thing they don’t have any other goals and ambitions whatsoever :)’.

To get things straight, Thrawn has always been annoyed by the limitations placed on him by an inferior rank. You could argue it’s for the simple reason that a higher rank gives him more freedom to act and pursue his goals but that’s just what that is, a simplification.

And that’s where Filoni’s problem lies:

Filoni is good at writing cartoons. And before people raise their pitchforks, I don’t mean this in a negative way. Writing cartoons forces you to squish complex ideas into a digestible format, the genre needs simplification and caricature to work and doing that well is a talent all by itself.

You’re meant to put in some extra effort to suspend your disbelief in order to enjoy the deeper complexities of the story. Where that stops working though is when you step out of the genre and move into live action and our good buddy Dave doesn’t seem to realize that.

It may admittedly sound like I’m being unnecessarily harsh on him and I probably am but I do realize the guy is just doing what he does best. I doubt he has any real beef with neurodivergents or has no actual clue that militaries need a base level of competence in order to function and thrive.

Neither is he the only one guilty of implying the Empire’s competent staff can be counted on the fingers of one hand. “It’s just so different for them to have a bad guy that’s, you know, actually smart with how he uses the Imperial war machine!” Okay, Dave. Sure Dave. “[…] with the exception of Tarkin – Tarkin’s strategically intelligent” Oh so there’s two of them! (okay okay, I’ll stop here)

My point is, you can’t get away with making the antagonists so stupid in a realistic setting. I recently saw someone compare Kenobi and Andor in terms of portraying your antagonists correctly and I have to agree that Andor is the only star wars live action media in recent memory that gets it right. (Though even Andor is guilty of injecting some stupid into its plot in order to enable implausible events to happen. I’m looking at you, Maarva’s speech.)

Because the thing is, the more bumbling and idiotic you make your antagonists, the more it detracts from the efforts and skills of your protagonists when defeating them. The Empire is sprawling and all powerful, so much so that it takes several force users pulling deus ex machinas out of their ass to bring it down. In conjunction with the extreme dedicated efforts of the Rebellion mind you.

It took a timely coincidence of hubris, political corruption and flawed strategy working together to allow it to happen. Give me media that explores why the Empire endured for so long, the mechanisms in place that made ordinary people turn into cogs of the machine, the selective process behind constructing an absolutely ruthless, dangerous leadership, media that looks at how these same conditions can come about in our world rather than the unrealistic explanation of ‘people bad because bad’.

Zahn, Gilroy, Luceno and many others are examples of writers that do this justice. Pass the baton on to Filoni and you end up with an antagonist who’s smart as an exception because ‘he’s just so quirky’ while still bearing all the hallmarks of a cartoon villain, the ominous gloating speeches and sadistic behaviour and whatnot.

I’d be hella remiss to say it hasn’t left its mark on the fandom either. The amount of times I’ve seen characters like Tarkin, Krennic, Palpatine, etc. be moronified (while Thrawn inevitably gets his victim treatment) while completely ignoring the fact that defeating them was no small feat and their having weaknesses to exploit isn’t something that detracts from just how dangerous and scary these motherfuckers were.

The Clone Wars was a good show. Rebels was a good show. But by god is Filoni bad at transferring his skills to live action and no one can convince me that Thrawn isn’t the best example of that.

[pensat-i-fet]

Al teu costat (Pablo Gavi x Reader)

**Hi!! I got a request to do something similar to this Pedri imagine and I was trying to make it different enough and came up with this idea. Then somehow felt the need to add Catalan phrases to it because why not? Here we read, we laugh and we learn 😅 enjoy ❤️**

Word count: 2584

Masterlist

Wattpad

"You two go to Eindhoven for the women's Champions League and you two to Vigo. All clear?"

"Shouldn't I go to Eindhoven? I've been covering the women's matches all season".

"I know", says my boss. "But the men's team is going to Japan right after the match and we need you on that plane. I was about to tell you about that but you interrupted me".

"Who else is coming with me there?"

"It's just you", he says, surprising me. I haven't been doing this for long enough to be sent alone to any matches. Even friendlies.

He grabs my arm gently to move me away from everyone else. "I get it. You don't want people to know about you and Gavi and this is another opportunity for people to stick their noses where they don't belong but it's also a great opportunity for you to prove yourself. I know you can do this. And you'll be flying with the players too. So it won't be as bad".

Yeah well…it's also a 15-hour long flight so I doubt having my boyfriend there will magically fix everything.

But he's right. It's another moment to prove how good I am at my job. I'm still always the youngest and ever since the rumours about me and Pablo started to show up on social media, it's been tough. Everyone is paying way more attention to me than I wanted. And not for the reasons I wanted them to pay attention to me.

[You]: I'm going to Japan with you so one less gift for your list.

[Pablo]: you are? Your boss is the best! And you can sit with me on the plane.

[You]: I'll sit with the rest of the press. We don't want more rumours 🙄

[Pablo]: if you think I'm going to spend 15 hours on the same plane as you but not with you, you don't really know me 🤣

He's right, of course. But all my colleagues are always looking at us to see if we show any signs that we really are together. Probably to be the first ones to post about it online. It's so boring.

"Breathe, just breathe", says my colleague Adrià when we are about to take off.

"You say it like it's easy".

He just laughs. He's used to this because I always have to travel with him. "It'll be Pablito's job to remind you later. At least with him you can cuddle or whatever. It'll help".

"Yeah".

I hope it does. But for now, it's time to worry about the match. Concentrating on my job helps me clear my mind a bit. It always has. And before I realise, we’ve made it to Vigo. This flight was short. The next one…

This Celta-Barça match is the last one of the season for both teams. One is fighting to stay in La Liga while the other one won it weeks ago…and it shows. I mean, Pablo isn't even on the starting line up and he plays almost every match.

When Adrià and I are walking towards the radio section, we see him coming out to inspect the pitch, eating some sweets.

"Great pre-match meal, huh?"

"It's how I got all these muscles you like so much", he says, flexing his arm.

I shake my head while Adrià laughs. “You two are too cute”.

“Do you want one?”, says Pablo, showing us all the sweets he has in his pocket.

“Sure”, we both say, picking one each.

“See you later, gorgeous”.

“Too cute”, says Adrià again and I hit his arm.

The 2-1 win means Celta avoids relegation and the whole stadium celebrates the result. But for me, it’s time to get all my stuff and make my way to the airport. It’ll be Adrià who stays to do the interviews this time.

There aren’t many journalists travelling with the team, but they are all staring at me after one of them announced I’m going to be in the player’s area and not with them.

“We never even get to travel with the players anymore but she gets to be with them in first class while we get chronic back pain on those tiny seats”.

“Well, they have to keep little Gavi happy”.

Their laughs make me want to get up and leave but I won’t give them that satisfaction. But their comments get to me. Of course they do. And that’s why when the players show up and Pablo looks at me, I shook my head. I know it hurts him to be rejected, but he also understands why I have to do it.

And it’s only 15 minutes later that I get to join him, and the rest of the team, on the plane.

“Where do you want to sit?”

“I don’t have a preference”, I say, already feeling anxious. Pablo, on the other hand, is acting like an overexcited puppy. And that makes me want to try and hide my fear even more so I don’t ruin this for him.

“Let’s go there. Do you want the window seat?”

“No”.

He takes my laptop bag to put it away and then leads me to the seats he likes. This plane is so big. Too big. But it also feels very small. Can this piece of metal really stay in the sky for so long?

"Do you want some?", says Pablo, offering me more sweets.

"No, thank you".

"Must be the first time you say no to sweets but it's pretty late I guess", he laughs. "Do you want to watch a movie or nap?"

"Yeah", I say, not really listening to him.

"Yes to which one?"

“What?”

He gives me a funny look but doesn’t comment on my reaction. “Movie or nap? What do you prefer?”

“Movie”.

“And cuddles?”

“Of course”, I answer, trying to match his smile.

I try to just focus on the movie and Pablo’s arms around me, protecting me. But they can’t protect me from this fear. Nothing can.

“Tinc por” (I’m scared), I whisper, barely aware I'm speaking.

Pablo looks at me worriedly and not just because of what I said. He knows I only switch to speaking Catalan in front of him when I’m being serious about something. He found that out the few times he pissed me off. And I also do it when I wake up in the morning mumbling nonsensical stuff. But the rest of the time, I speak only Spanish to him. Even if he’s always trying to learn new words in Catalan to say to me because he knows I find that adorable.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Flying".

"What? Since when? You fly for work all the time".

"And it's horrible all the time".

“Why did you never tell me?”

“It’s not as if you could help”.

“So was I supposed to find out when we went on holiday together?”

“I guess. Are you mad I didn’t tell you?”

“Yes. I don’t want us to keep big secrets from each other. But I’m more annoyed I can’t do anything to help you. Should I ask for a sleeping tablet for you? If you’re sleeping you won’t feel bad”.

“I thought about taking one later”.

“Better if you do now and get some sleep. And I’ll have time to figure out how to help”.

“Are you going to Google for tips on how to help?”, I joke.

“Yes”.

“I’ve already tried them all but I appreciate it. I appreciate you”.

While we wait for the flight attendant who’ll bring me my sleeping tablet, I hold onto Pablo tightly. He’s the best remedy to all my problems and doesn’t know it.

"You can leave when I'm sleeping".

"No, I can't".

"Pablo, you've played for 45 minutes and need to move around a bit. You can't just sit for so many hours".

"Stop worrying about me".

"I'm your girlfriend. It's my job to look after you".

"And it's my job to look after you".

I just shake my head at his stubbornness, hiding a smile while I take the tablet. Hoping it’s a strong one that will knock me out for a good amount of hours, I put my head on Pablo’s shoulder and close my eyes.

"Pablo?"

"Yeah?"

"T'estimo molt (I love you so much)".

"I love you too. Sleep well now. You need the rest. I’ll be here by your side the whole time".

                                     **

When I wake up, I feel so groggy and confused. I notice a weight on my shoulder and see that it’s Pablo’s head resting there.

“Are you feeling better?”, whispers Robert when he notices I’m awake.

“Yes, thank you. I can’t move now, though”.

He laughs too before turning back to watch his movie. And I know I should grab my laptop to get some work done, which will also help me stop worrying about still being on the plane. How long until we get there? An hour and a half. I’ve slept for 13 hours. That’s…a lot.

I need to do something to avoid overthinking so I try and pick up my phone moving slowly.

“What are you…wait!”, seeing me awake wakes Pablo up immediately. “You ok?”

“Yes. I’m fine. We’re almost there and I have to do some work. That always helps”.

“I googled…”, his little blush makes me smile. “It didn’t help much. Unless you let me hypnotize you”.

“You already did. How do you think you managed to get me to date you?”

“So funny”, he says, rolling his eyes and smiling. “You really are feeling better?”

I nod. “And please tell me you didn’t stay all 13 hours here while I slept”.

“I didn’t. But I was always close and looking at you to make sure you were ok”.

“Good”.

I dedicate the last hour on the plane to work and thankfully, after all this suffering, we make it to Japan.

                                       **

Our routine to avoid people’s comments is exhausting. The team leaves the plane and I have to wait until they are all out. When we get to the hotel, it’s me who gets there first. I don’t get to stay in the same room as Pablo, but it’s the same hotel so just being seen together on the lift could create some drama. And then when some players leave for events they have to attend, we also leave the hotel at different times…only to meet at a café we saw when we got there.

“Fancy seeing you here”.

“Let’s go see the city. Away from all those jealous idiots”, says Pablo, taking my hand. A part of me fears that if he finds out what they say about me, he’ll stop giving them interviews. And that will make me the bad guy for sure.

After a nice romantic walk, we go back to the hotel to rest before the match. A match that doesn’t mean much football-wise but has a lot of sentimental value since it’s against Iniesta’s team. I grew up seeing him play so I’m as excited as all the players are.

The match ends with a 2-0 win for Barça and when I go back to the tunnel to hide from the rain, I hear Pablo calling my name.

“What is it?”

“Come with me”.

“Where?”

“Just come”.

“Pablo…”.

But he doesn’t listen to my protests, moving his hand to grab mine before realising what he’s doing and just telling me to follow him again. So I do.

“Here she is. My girlfriend”.

When I see who Pablo is talking to, I try not to freak out. He’s introducing me to Andrés Iniesta? I have to remind myself to be professional before talking.

“Hi…it’s really nice meeting you”.

“Nice meeting you too. Gavi told me you needed to record a little interview for the radio? I wasn’t going to do any but I guess I can make an exception for him. Or for you”, he laughs.

For a second, I just stare at Iniesta. He’s talking to me and wants me to interview him. How is this my life?

Pablo notices what’s going on and touches my arm to wake me up from my daydreaming.

“Yes. Just two minutes. Let me get my phone to record it. Thank you so much, really”.

While we record the interview, Pablo leaves to meet Iniesta’s kids and then we all leave the stadium and I don’t get to see him until we make it to the hotel.

“Thank you for the Iniesta interview. It’s…a dream”.

“I get it. It was also a dream to play against him”.

I smile at him, suddenly not caring at all about who sees us. “Do you want to hang out before we leave? I have to write an article but it shouldn’t take long”.

“I need to take a nap, sorry”.

“Ok”, I say, slightly disappointed. “I’ll see you at the airport, then”.

Three hours later, I’m surrounded again by all my lovely peers. Noticing their whispers doesn’t bother me anymore. Who cares what they think?

So when I see the players arrive, I walk towards them. I can notice all of them looking at me, surprised. But no one is as surprised as Pablo.

“What are you doing?”

“Hanging out with you guys”.

“Since when?”, laughs Eric. “I thought you were ashamed of being seen next to us”.

“Only of being seen next to you, García”, I joke back.

We keep chatting and get to the topic I didn’t want to think about.

“I didn’t know you were afraid of flying. I used to be a bit but now I do a lot better”, tells me Robert, and I don’t know if it’s true or just him trying to make me feel better but I appreciate it anyway.

“Yeah, it used to be worse for me too. But it’s still hard”.

"It's easier having your boy by your side, right?”, asks Eric.

“A little”.

Pablo grabs Eric’s arm so he can whisper in his ear. And Eric whispers back. What are they doing?

"Sempre al teu costat" (Always by your side).

“Sempre?” (Always?)

“Sempre”.

Even if I can notice everyone’s eyes on us, I hug my boyfriend. And once again, no one is as surprised by my actions as him.

“They can see us”, he whispers.

“Let them see us. I don’t care”.

After the hug, we keep hanging out with the rest of the squad. And when it’s time to board, I grab his hand and hold it until we reach the place.

But all the adrenaline from finally confirming what everyone suspected goes away when I’m back inside the plane.

“Don’t freak out. I got you some things”.

“You what?”

I turn to see Pablo getting a bag out of his backpack.

“I got these tablets which are supposed to calm you down. They have natural ingredients so you can have the sleeping tablet too if you need to. I also got you an eye mask. The lady at the store said you won’t be able to see anything so that might help too. And…where is it? Here! Pillow spray. It’s supposed to be good too, I don’t know. It smells like lavender, it’s nice. I’ll keep it if it doesn’t work”.

"When did you buy all of this?"

"When you were writing the article and I said I would just go nap".

“Why are you perfect?”

“Just trying to help”, he shrugs.

“Having you near me was enough but let’s try all of this!”

[iam-stargirl]

What I have manifested 🩷

My first post will be about some of the stuff I have manifested. I won’t write every single thing because I don’t remember it all, both “big” or “small”. And I will write a little backstory for them as well for anyone that's curious :)

My first job: I had zero experience and I was told during my interview that it was very unlikely for me to get the job and that they had other people wanting the job as well that were better qualified for the job because they had experience. I didn't waver and just said "okay" with a smile. A couple of weeks later he calls me and says I got the job.

Clear skin: for many years I had acne and pimples which made me very insecure. I tried many different skin care products that had worked wonderfully for many others, but when I used them they didn't work for me. I then affirmed that I had clear skin. After a while I found this product and just had a feeling that I should try it out. Surprise, surprise it worked! My mom was in shock at how much clearer my skin was and how fast it happened, and so was I.

My computer: I had wanted a new computer for a long time as my previous one was really old and I wanted to make an investment in a good one. I listened to a subliminal about manifesting what you want from your Pinterest board by "i want it, i got it" subliminal channel. I made a Pinterest board with the computer I wanted and affirmed “I love my new computer” while listening to it once. I went out shopping with my mom the same day and saw they lowered the price for the computer I wanted. I was so happy but then I thought about how much money I had. It was enough, but if I bought it, I wouldn’t have much left at all, almost nothing. But then I checked my bank account and i had way more money than the day before and I was like ??? I decided to buy it. 

Getting rid of pain: I started getting pain in my hand and it kept getting worse during the day. Later that same day (evening I think?) I could barely move any part of my hand including my fingers. And it was my dominant hand so it was difficult. Just the slightest movement and it would hurt so much. I didn’t know what to do. I tried different things that should’ve helped, but nothing. I then decided to command my subconscious to get rid of the pain because it was getting unbearable and felt like it would either stay like that or get worse. A couple hours later I noticed the pain had lessened but it was still there. Ngl this made me doubt if I could even manifest it away completely. But then I decided to affirm that the pain was completely gone. I kept affirming and affirming even though the 3d showed me the opposite. Eventually i just “went on with my life” and didn’t focus on the pain. The next morning it was GONE. 

Figuring out my gender: One day I would think I was a cis woman. Couple of days later I thought I was a trans man. Then genderfluid then ... It just went in circles for so long. I was so confused and my mental health was bad. It was a very long, sad and exhausting journey and it would be too long to write. And other things in my life were not how I wanted them to be either so I felt horrible in general. But then I read divineangelbee’s tumblr post about commanding the subconscious mind. I was done with all this confusion so I decided to give it a try. I commanded my subconscious to show me in my dream what gender I am.. Next day I woke up and remembered a dream I had. I saw the flags and i just knew that was the answer I had been looking for so long. I finally knew who I was and found peace.

My mom getting an apartment: She was unhappy with the apartment we lived in and wanted to move but she didn’t believe it would be possible. I affirmed even with “bad” circumstances popping up. I affirmed even when my mom was worried because of the why and the how and the money… Time goes by and then she tells me she’s been chosen for one of the many apartments she’d been looking at. She was so happy and we moved soon after!

I hope you enjoyed this!

Stargirl

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 29 Thoughts: Lost in Translation

We're at the penultimate episode of the season, folks. It's a surprisingly standard episode given what we had for the last one. It's also a very TMA flavoured one at that. This episode, despite being written by Alex, might have taken the top spot for one that feels the most like an Archives ep. Which isn't a bad thing. Or even a good thing. However it is an enjoyable thing and I thought this episode was really well put together on the whole. Also, fun fact for the non-readers; this episode was originally called "Locked In".

Spoilers for episode 29 below the cut.

Sam's not dead. What a shock. Genuinely, I've no real clue why people thought him dying there was a possibility. It would've been probably the least satisfying death possible for a central character. I am so on board with Sam’s death at some point though. Maybe at the end of act 1 or the midpoint of act 2 in season 3. If only to shut up the small contingent of the fanbase upset over their own invented issues about him being the sole main character whom all other characters exist to support. The gang is off to Hilltop to find all that juicy Magnus lore.

I don't think there is much to get into for Lena and Gwen's exchange here but I do think it's set up for her role in the finale. So I'll cover that later.

I really liked this incident. It felt very classically Magnus to me and was just a really solid self-contained story. It's also a really good one for using the format it's in the the benefit of the narrative being told. The structure of it as a diary and how that's used to show something traumatic happening before it's ever spoken of was very well done. The characters being an older couple also is something I think is really clever too. Not just because it helps explain the diary format. I think in a literal sense this episode doesn't need much of my insights. It was all pretty clear exactly what happened. Old couple redid their proposal holiday to tragic results leading to the survivor taking their own life via magic key. Tale as old as time that one is. There are a few language details to talk about though. The husband was called Stanley Locke. Stanley is a brand of locks. I can only assume that was intentional. The other reason them being old is important to the events is I think a younger couple would've just not gone into the locked museum. Because that's what the place is. Zamčené muzeum isn't a *lock *museum, it's a *locked *museum. Google translate would've solved this whole episode then and there. The major thing to actually talk about here is the incident's placement as the penultimate incident. It's not likely to be a randomly placed one and given it's about opening all sorts of barriers I think it's pretty obviously foreshadowing for our finale. Hilltop has more than one thing needing to be opened. The Institute's secrets, and the gap in reality. It also mirrors [Error]'s introduction as the first thing they do is open a padlock.

Teddy's near-confession is the most interesting thing in this whole episode for my money. Mostly because it's such fertile ground for speculation. There are a lot of ways it could go but there are some facts that I think point us in a direction. He still works at Royal Mint Court/was interviewed for a job there. He's still up all night. He's got a big secret he needs to tell Alice that's important to her current circumstances enough to be urgent. Meaning he therefore has new information he didn't have before he left. Which means where he is now is in a place that could provide said information. The OIAR has more going on behind the scenes than we ever see yet is seemingly staffed by a tiny amount of people. Which points to Teddy maybe still just being at the OIAR. Either just moving up in the organisation and the party was a ruse, or he was headhunted after he left and his work fell through. It could also be a company like Starkwall too, if there is any real difference between the two. Some offshoot of the Institute is also a possibility given the link between Newton and the Royal Mint. Or, he's been scooped up by Klaus.

The final scene here doesn't have an awful lot to comment on. It's somewhat curious that [Error] is able to get around so unseen but we do know she can teleport. I'm assuming she's on the train to get Celia's secrets about the Institute. Plenty of time for that too as London to Oxford is about an hour on the train. Not really anywhere for them to hide either so they're probably pretty fucked.

Now the long wait until next week begins.

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What sort of penultimate episode post would be complete without some finale predictions? I think there are a fair few pieces in play here and so there are quite a lot of things to speculate on.

I think there are some fairly obvious things that are likely to happen. Celia is going to get [Error]ed and exposition dump about her whole deal. It's got to come out some time and I think in general the show has been foreshadowing this pretty hard with Gwen and Sam both getting [Error]ed. The other major possibility here is that Alice gets got and she's got some secret twisty trauma. If *Connor is her dead name then she *is on CHDB (the Institute's list of children they tested, see the master sheet below) but I would generally hate that. I mean, they might pull it off but I really don't want Alice to have that backstory. She is the character we know the least about so far though and there have been more than a few hints about the fate of her parents. So it's a strong possibility too IMO. Albeit it does mean that Alice would need to catch up with them somehow. Maybe Teddy can give her a lift and we'll hear what was on his mind. Or it's both as this will be a double-length episode so there is room for that.

Speaking of [Error] it seems likely that Celia is going to reveal at least what she knows about Archivists. With [Error] being this season's antagonist it's likely that she's going to get defeated in the finale and as such we'll lose the best opportunity to learn more about her. Revealing that information after she's dealt with is less impactful. They might end up [Error]ing themselves and given a statement, or villain monologuing. It's curious that they're so obviously capable of speech and have said so little though. So I am expecting something to change there.

Hilltop could go a lot of ways. It could be a gaping maw in realities that sucks our cast off to someplace new. It could be nothing but some clues to the Institute's purpose. I don't have much in the way of anything I'd like it to be either. I generally think it'll be the least interesting bit of the finale. The biggest thing it could answer it won't, that being JMJ, and so I'm content to just let that one play out and not think about it too much. In either case Hilltop is likely to play some role in defeating [Error] and if I had to hazard a guess I think it's likely we'll see some of the great cosmology at play here. Both in terms of TMP itself but I think we'll get some hints at how things have changed from TMA/how TMA's things have changed.

I think we're also going to see a good bit of Gwen going being Lena's back too. Assuming we're not going to jump forward in time at all then Gwen is currently alone in the office and is clearly planning things. I don't think we'll necessarily see anything major happen but I do think it's a pretty likely hook for season 2. Either something to do with Klaus or the other strange emails. It's that or Colin is going to break in and cause some havoc. Gwen is the character I most see going along with him on this too. I think that might be a surprising take to some of you but Gwen is unique in that she doesn't actually give a shit about him, and also wants to ruin Lena's career. Colin wrecking the place while she's not there would certainly do some damage to her job stability.

I'm not too sure we'll see much of the other voiced cast. I can't really see a reason for Lena, Teddy, Ink5oul, or anyone else to get involved in the finale. Although Lena could certainly be a big part of the epilogue assuming any of the Gwen stuff goes down like I expect.

Anyway, lots to look forward to.

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Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet

DPHW Theory: 4254 is unremarkable. At this point I really don't know what it'd take to tip my theory on its head.

CAT# Theory: CAT2 is another funny one for the Person/Place/Object idea. The museum was arguably supernatural but the key was obviously supernatural. So if anything this should be CAT3 or potentially a CAT23 but it's just CAT2. If it is P/P/O I'm going to need a really strong explanation for why it sucks so bad.

R# Theory: Yeah, B sounds good to me. Strong physical evidence of a thing happening but nothing that definitively proves the supernatural. Going into the finale this whole theory seems to be holding pretty well. At least for non-Ss. An S could be a lot of things though so we'll see.

Header talk: Drowning (Subterranean) -/- Key (Metaphor) is somewhat interesting in that Key (Metaphor) can be read as the key itself being entirely metaphorical. I think that's fairly obviously wrong but it's interesting. The meaning is more that the key has the ability to open things in a metaphorical sense. It works on more than just doors, after all. So the key itself is real but it works on a looser interpretation of "opening" than just locks and doors. Beyond just that interpretation there is also the metatextual element that the incident itself is metaphorical for what's to come. Assuming it wasn't randomly placed, that is.

[patdkoala]

The Golden Globes

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x female reader Summary: Sebastian Stan and the reader are close friends and one night when he goes to the Golden Globes he gets worked up being there without her. Only one thing can make him feel better. Warnings: Friends to lovers, hair pulling, unprotected p in v, The Pullout Method™

"I'm exhausted," Sebastian said as he did his curl-ups with Don. "Because of the workout or?" Don's eyes trailed over to (Y/N) who was doing squats with her trainer a few feet away from Sebastian.

"No, (Y/N)'s just a friend, man. I don't know why everyone thinks we are together," Sebastian said as Don rolled his eyes.

(Y/N) and Sebastian has been friends forever and is always cast in movies together.

They have played siblings, friends, a married couple, a friends-with-benefits couple, an enemies-to-lovers couple, and any other couple you could think of in any trope.

Yet, they have remained friends. Nothing has ever even made them question their friendship.

Not even (Y/N) in tight yoga pants doing intense workouts in front of Sebastian.

"If you don't make a move on her someone else will," Don said as Sebastian stopped his workout. "I don't think that's what (Y/N) and I are tho. She's a friend and I'd hate to have something compromise that," Sebastian said as he saw (Y/N) and her trainer have a conversation.

"He is so cute. I just don't understand why you haven't gone out with him yet," (Y/N)'s trainer said as (Y/N) dried herself off with a towel and glanced over to Sebastian.

He was doing curl-ups and looked so good. His toned chest expanded while his arms flexed and caused a certain sensation in between (Y/N)'s legs. She quickly looked away.

"Sebastian is just a friend. I wouldn't want to ruin what we have by doing something so foolish like having sex," (Y/N) said as her trainer rolled her eyes.

"If you don't make a move soon then another girl is just going to swoop right in."

Later that day, Sebastian was getting ready for Golden Globes because he was up for an award with the show Pam and Tommy. (Y/N) was so proud of him but she wasn't going with him because they had discussed previously that being seen together all the time isn't good for either of their reputations.

"Are you sure you'll be okay just here by yourself?" Sebastian asked as he slipped on his suit jacket. (Y/N) was seated on their couch.

They are roommates. ohmygod they were roommates. (Y/N) moved in with Sebastian after her last boyfriend and she broke up. He was a creep and cheated on her. She was living with him at the time so Sebastian offered his couch which soon turned into her moving into his office which became her room.

"Yes, I'll be okay. I'm gonna watch a movie and then go to bed early since I have nothing better to do," she smiled as Sebastian smiled back, and then he grabbed his keys and left.

(Y/N) did not watch a movie or go to bed early. Instead, she stayed up and watched the Golden Globes.

Sebastian walked the red carpet and many photographers took his picture while screaming at him. "Sebastian! Where is (Y/N) tonight?" Someone yelled at him.

He ignored the people's cries and just continued smiling and walking the rest of the carpet.

(Y/N) was at home and was watching this woman interview celebrities. She was really good at her job but (Y/N) only cared to see Sebastian get interviewed.

I mean, that's what good best friends get excited about right?

"Sebastian Stan is here tonight looking so handsome in his suit from Lanvin," The woman spoke as Sebastian smiled and looked at the camera as it panned over his suit.

"Who have you brought as your date tonight?"

"No one. I am flying solo tonight," Sebastian said as (Y/N) sat there and scooped spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth and smiled at how nice Sebastian looked.

"No (Y/N) tonight? Maybe you'll be going home with someone new after the show," She said as Sebastian sort of rolled his eyes.

The interview ended shortly after that and Sebastian seemed unpleased with how it went. He went home empty-handed in more ways than one.

"Hey, you're home early. I'm sorry about what happened. I sat up and watched the whole thing," (Y/N) said as Sebastian walked through the door and kicked off his designer shoes, and threw off the designer jacket.

"I just hate how they talk about you like you're just some new fuck buddy of mine. It's not fair to either of us," Sebastian said as he slumped down on the couch next to her.

"I wasn't talking about the interview. I was talking about the awards but yeah, let's make this about me," she said as he smiled at her and she lifted her legs and rested them on his lap and then moved the blanket that was just covering her to cover the both of them.

"Why can't everyone be as nice to me as you are?" Sebastian asked as she ran a hand through his hair. "Because not everyone is your best friend."

"Right, friends," he said softly. "What, is there a problem with me being your friend now?" She asked as he turned his head and he rested both arms on her legs.

"I just wish we were more sometimes," He said as she turned a bright shade of pink. "Sebastian you're drunk." "I didn't have a single drink tonight. I didn't make it to the after party and I wanted to stay sober so that I could make it home to you and do this," He said as he leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips.

She held the back of his head gently as he moaned into her mouth. She still had her legs resting upon his lap as he let his hands move to her face.

He cupped her cheeks and then he let his hands go all on their own in her hair. They tangled in at the roots and tugged slightly as she went to his shirt and started to undo the buttons.

"I need you," Sebastian moaned as (Y/N) took her shift off and threw it across the room. "Then take me," She replied as he smirked and he started to undo his belt buckle.

She stood up and removed her pants and underwear and then once he had his belt undone he removed his pants and he lowered his boxers just enough to spring out.

She smiled at him and for a minute they locked eyes and he cupped his hands on her face again. "I have been waiting for this for so long with you. I love you so much, (Y/N) and I never want anyone to ever hurt you ever again," He said as she smiled and then sat down on his cock while kissing him.

They both moaned in pleasure at the first initial feeling. Which then turned into him moaning and her screaming in pleasure. Their bodies rocked back and forth and up and down.

Sebastian flipped them so that he was on top. "Sebastian, please don't stop. You feel so good," She cried as he trusted faster and harder. "Tell me where you want me," He moaned out in broken words as he trusted as she held onto the side of the couch, clenching her insides which helped him indicate that she was close.

"Anywhere," She moaned as he nodded and then thrusted two final times before she came on his dick and he pulled out and came on her stomach.

He laid down next to her on the couch after he cleaned her up with his shirt. (Such a gentleman)

He held her close to his chest as they then dozed off into sleep.

"I'm not going anywhere without you ever again," He said as she laughed and kissed him.

[faun-the-fawn77]

hello lovely!! i was scrolling through x reader (as girlhood demands in the middle of the night) and i was hoping i could do smth about your empty hp!masterlist!! leaving everything up to you but i would love love love a soft!tom riddle fic with slytherin f/gn!reader (whichever you're comfortable with!!) maybe in 2nd ppov but that's personal preference 😭😭 thank you!! have a lovely day 💐💌

"𝓕𝓞𝓡 𝓨𝓞𝓤"

Soft!Tom Riddle x F!Slytherin!Reader

Genre: SO MUCH FLUFF!!!!

Word Count: 765

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, Tom being OOC but that's okay.

Desc: Despite being strict towards other house students for breaking curfew, Tom just can't seem to apply the same rules to his girlfriend when she wants to sit and watch the stars by the Black Lake. A comfortable silence soon broken by the soft voice of his Slytherin Princess with questions about the future.

Notes: AHHH MY FIRST REQ/FIC OUTSIDE OF HELLAVERSE STUFF!!! Now, please don't come after me if make Tom OOC. I'm going to try my damndest to make him...him? And if you don't know, most of my fic titles are based off a song that either inspired this or was something that fit the vibe. I was listening to "For You" by Angus and Julia Stone and it just spoke to me. I love this song and if you happen to know what show it's from then please be my friend:( I need some to talk to about it.

Note 2: So....I got this request forever ago and I just now got around to completing it(work is kicking my ass) and I thought: Why not work on some things while sick? So here we are! I wanted to finish this req cause I have been feeling SOOOOO guilty for not completing upon receiving but I have done it! I guess my req's will take time to come out since I work 5-6 days a week:( But I get them done!

Waiting for Tom to come back from Head Boy duties was like watching paint dry. He was always meticulous about the things he did.

You sat by the vibrant green fire of the fireplace in the Slytherin common room with an abandoned book next to you. Your (E/C) eyes lit by the fire, were staring out into space as you thought about what to say to convince Tom to sneak you to the Black Lake.

Despite the fact that it was lightly raining outside, you had wanted to go outside. Certain thoughts about the future have been racing through your mind for the last few months. You and Tom were in your last year of school before being thrust into the lives of adults. Job interviews will take up your time along with apartment/house hunting. Did you want to go back to America? Do you want to travel first? So many questions and all of them you had to discuss with your stoic and unmovable boyfriend.

The entrance to the Slytherin chamber scraped open and a quiet set of footsteps walked up to you. Tom was usually (Or unusually) as quiet as a mouse when moving about the castle but when he knew you were awake then he'd be a bit more loud to notify you of his presence which you greatly appreciated.

"Is it raining cats and dogs or is it light enough to sit out by the lake?" Tom turned to you with curiosity swirling in his dark eyes.

"Sprinkling. Why on Earth would you want to sit out in the rain anyway?" You turned your body to face him and grabbed one of his cold hands.

"I have a few things to ask you but I am sure that we have a few pests lingering about this late in the evening." Tom turned to look but you raised a hand to his cheek to guide his eyes back to you.

"We'll talk about that later but for now, show me the way, Head boy," you cheekily smiled and stood up brushing the little dust that clung to your skirt. Tom stood as well and led you out the chamber and down the halls that he knew had less activity.

"Reminds me of home, you know?" You murmured while looking up at the moon with the light rain sprinkling down on your head. Tom knew where you used to live and that being transferred to Hogwarts took its toll on you considering you came in halfway through 4th year. You always talk about Alaska and how beautiful it was. You wanted to travel with Tom through your state starting with your home town and going from there.

"Are you leaving when we graduate?" The look Tom had given you after asking broke your heart. You knew his financial situation, how hard it is to get through with just a pocketful of change to last the school year.

"I want to go home, but I'll only go if you come with," Tom opened his mouth to protest when you clasped a hand over it, "And I will pay. I want to show you where I grew up. And we'll give you more happy memories so you can work on conjuring up that corporeal patronus!"

Tom gently removed your hand from his mouth. His face was blank but you could see the different emotions flickering in his eyes. You pulled him into a hug, resting your chin on his shoulder and whispered into his ear, "You will always hold a special place in my heart, Tom. If you wish to stay here and pursue a job at the castle, then I won't stop you. You are welcome to join me for the year I go and travel Alaska so when I come back here I'll remember my home forever."

Tom squeezed your waist a bit tighter, like he didn't want to let you go or like he was going to lose you. You knew he was dabbling in dark magic. You have tried everything to get him to stop without him knowing the you knew. Maybe travelling for a bit will help? Or if you guide him in the right directions that he'll completely abandon it altogether.

What you didn't expect was Tom to agree to come with you.

"You're the brightest star in my universe. I love you with all of my heart and I will love you till death do us part. My star..."

What you didn't know was that Tom was born under the Amortentia potion and while those who are cannot feel love, this was the closest Tom has felt to that feeling and he will never let it slip from his grasp.

If you wish to request more then don't hesitate to fill up my inbox!

Here is the link to my Ultimate Masterlist so you can see what I write for. Depending on what you feel like seeing from me then got to the specific masterlist there and pick a character on there! If you don't wanna go through all that then just head to my pinned post:)