#SO VERY SORRY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

varpusvaras · 6 months ago

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I was talking with @the-starry-seas about cityboy Fox last night, and how he definitely has some problems with the nature. They said a certain thing would be funny. I had to write it.

Nature is good for the physical and mental health, the neon signs advertising plants and heatlamps for the citizens living in the towering buildings of Coruscant had said. Nature is good for the physical and mental health, the medical guidebook they had received at the start of their posting had said. Nature is good for the physical and mental health, the Jedi healer at the Temple had said. Nature is good for the physical and mental health, Doctor Brevent had said once Fox had landed on Alderaan.

The thing was, they were all correct, of course. It was all based on multitude of scientific studies, after all, and it wasn't like Fox didn't feel a lot better after only a single week on Alderaan. Of course he did. He got sunlight for multiple hours a day now, which corrected his circadian rhytm and boosted the amount of vitamin D in his body. He got fresh air, which did away the persisten cough he had had for the past year and a half. He got to move in an environment that wasn't all hard ground and harsh edges, which did wonders for the chronic pain on his legs and lower back. He woke up every day, listening to the soft winds and birdsong or soft rain, and it all just really, really made him more relaxed than he had ever been in his entire life.

So, yes, Fox would admit that nature was, indeed, good for his physical and mental health. He also loved Alderaan, loved the forests with pinetrees and hardwood and soft sandy paths, loved the mountains rising at the skyline, loved the little streams and rivers and lakes and the garderns around the Palace. The first time he had laid down on a patch of grass had quite literally given him five more years to his life.

The thing just was, that other things loved all of the same things as Fox did.

There had not been a lot of nature on Coruscant. Okay, scrap that, there had not been any nature on Coruscant. Whatever there was, was just patches of man-made greenery, reserved for limited population only, or things that had found their place in the darkest depths and shadowy corners of the planet. If you were on Coruscant and heard something that sounded too animalistic, it was your first, last and only chance to run.

It turned out that on Alderaan, many things were loud. Even worse, none of it made any sense.

Fox could understand the large cat-like predator that roamed around the woods at the foot of the mountains being loud. What he didn't understand was why the thing sounded disturbingly like a woman screaming. Even less he understood why the much, much smaller forest-cat, that was the height of Fox's shins and ate mostly small lizards also made a very similar sound.

His first weeks on Alderaan had been full of heart attacks. An evening walk with Breha, where she showed him the shining starling butterflies? Almost ruined because an actual fox had decided to sneak into the flower garden and screamed at him from behind a bush. Breha had thought it hilarious. Fox had thought about running away to some desolate moon in the Outer-Rim.

Now, after little over two years, Fox was...fine, with most of the things. He knew what all the animals sounded like. He knew not to sit on the ground after rain because there would be worms and snails. He knew not to go out for too long on the warmest days of late spring, because the pollen season was at it's peak then.

He had learned a lot of things, and he didn't feel like a stupid boy who had only ever seen sterilized white walls and concrete ground. Of course that was what he had been, but still. Fox felt like he could almost pass as a local these days.

Even certainly did, Fox thought, as he watched his son run along the edges of the small pond they had in the front garden. It was so shallow that the water barely reached to Fox's ankles, so it was fine letting Even be there by himself and watch the little water lilies and water bugs float on the surface.

Fox had not known a lot about babies when he had taken Even with him, but he had been more than eager to learn everything there was to learn. His son deserved only the best, and that meant that Fox had to also be the best father he could possibly be. Fox had learned that babies explored the world with touch, and that most of the time, they had no sense of danger, and would stuff anything and everything they got their hands on into their mouths.

It had just taken him a while to just figure out how much babies and little kids wanted to grab things and munch on them. It had been the thing that had made him most anxious, actually, once he had realised how eager Even was to put his hands and whatever was in them into his mouth. Fox thought he was being rather sensible being anxious about it. Too many things in the Galaxy were a serious choking hazard. Too many other things were...otherwise unsavory. Fox had almost screamed and thrown up at the same time when Even had somehow found a dead beetle and had already stuffed the fist that contained said beetle into his mouth.

Breha and Bail had tried to calm him down. It was a good thing he was vigilant, they had said, but not everything was so dangerous that Fox needed to lose either his sleep, his dinner or both. Kids needed to get dirty every now and then, they had said. It would boost their immune system. Bail had told Fox that he had apparently eaten sand when he had been little, and he was fine and healthy. Breha had continued with her own story of how she had eaten the leaves off of her mother's dayflower bush and the grass around it at the age of three because she had pretended to be a bantha while playing. She was also fine and healthy, and whatever health problems she had, were not the result of her getting some uncooked greenery into her system. Nature was good for your physical and mental health, they had said.

They were probably right, even if it all gave Fox shivers. But, perhaps, the problem was indeed Fox. After all, he was someone who had lived his entire life surrounded by sterilized walls or concrete ground.

Most importantly, Even was happy. Fox still remembered all too clearly the tiny, too-thin and bony baby wrapped inside the paper sheets in a metal cot, left inside the cold and lonely Kaminoan nursery. He still remembered that child, too small, too fragile, too quiet, a child whose big brown eyes had just stared at nothing at all and whose only way of communication had been wrapping his tiny fingers around Fox's.

That child was nowhere to be seen now. Even had a plump stomach and squishy arms and legs and a round, soft face, that was most of the time spread into a wide, toothy smile. He ran with little but surprisinly quick, wobbling steps, and babbled incessantly all the time and laughed loudly and without care every time Bail would scoop him up and twirl him around in the air.

Even lived surrounded by the exact opposite of the things Fox had, and he was all the better for it.

Fox watched as Even stopped to look at something at the ground, and then jump towards it, his hands grabbing at the grass. A small, bright green frog leaped up and into the safety of the water.

Fox held back a grimace. Yes, he was fine with most things these day, but there were still things he was less than enthusiastic about. Bugs were fine. He didn't go into a full panic when seeing one, but that didn't mean he wanted them anywhere near anyone's mouths. Lizards were actually pretty fun, at least the ones that lived on Alderaan, especially the little ones that lived on the trunks of trees and has round faces and equally round eyes and very stubby legs, or the blue ones that lived near streams and had become far too friendly with people, and would come over to see if you had something sweet for them to snack on.

It was the things that were wet and slimy and sticky that he was not alright with. Not that he would start to scream, either, but he'd much rather not have any close contact with any of them. He hated the feeling of them grabbing onto him, the many times featureless exterior creeped him out, and they were most of the time even more dirty than anything else.

Even jumped forwards again, falling onto his knees, and another frog jumped up from the grass. The frogs were fine. Totally fine. They were small and harmless and sometimes even kinda cute with their exaggeratedly large eyes. Sometimes. Most of the time they were wet and sticky and at least slightly slimy, but they were fine. It was fine, and they were definitely too fast for Even to catch. It was fine.

Fox glanced around a bit, Even still staying at the corner of his eye. Bail was also out, and was currently catching up with one of their Captains. Breha still had to finish up some work, but she would be out soon as well. Fox had brought his datapad with him, since he had a new book he wanted to read, but he had not yet gotten around to even opening it. He had been too busy watching Even play to be able to concentrate onto the story.

Speaking of Even, Fox saw him turn towards him all of a sudden, his hands clasped together and a bright smile on his face.

"Buir!" He yelled. He still couldn't quite get the r-sound right at the end, so it sounded more like Buij. Breha thought it was adorable. Bail thought it was adorable. Fox thought it was so adorable that he could cry.

Right now, though, he was just a little distracted about what Even was holding in his hands.

"Buir!" Even yelled again, as he stopped right in front of Fox. "Buir, I caught it! For you! A frog!"

Fox looked down on Even's little hands, that were holding something that was definitely not a frog.

It did look like one, but only in the broadest sense. It was much bigger, barely fitting in Even's grasp, and instead of being bright green, it was muddy brown, and had fat, bulging limbs and a large, bumpy body. Despite it being otherwise big, it didn't have the cute, big eyes of frogs, but instead it was staring right back at Fox with two beady little eyes, that were half buried under the wringly skin of its head.

Fox had a brief thought that the thing reminded him about the late Chancellor-turned-Sith, and he liked the thing even less.

It was also definitely wet, sticky and slimy, almost dripping clear goo from its toes.

"Oh", Fox swallowed. "Even, my little heart, that's not a frog."

How had Even caught it in the first place? Was it just too big to move as fast as the little frogs, and hadn't been able to jump out of the way in time? Possibly. It was very still in Even's hands, after all. Too still. Fox hated it.

He would've especially appreciated if the thing stopped staring at him.

Even looked at the thing.

"It's a big frog", he said, still happily enough. "Can we have it?"

The thing stared at Fox, like daring him to say no.

"No", Fox still said, staring right back at it. "No, we cannot, it lives outside."

Even was a well-behaved child who didn't argue too much, and always ate his vegetables and held to their hands if they went somewhere. Fox prayed to the Manda that this wasn't the one thing that he would argue about for some forsaken reason.

Even pouted a little, but then his head whipped to the side, and the big, bright smile was back.

"Mama!" He yelled. "Mama, look!"

Fox turned to look as well. Breha had made her way out as well, and was now standing with Bail and the Captain. She looked really pretty, with a golden band in her hair and the sunlight making her skin and eyes glow softly-

The thing moved in Even's hands. Fox saw it, and turned to look. It was still staring right at Fox, as it squirmed again. Even was still too distracted by Breha, that he didn't notice the movement.

Fox opened his mouth to tell Even to put the thing down, when it squirmed yet again, and with surprising speed, it drew its legs under its body and leaped up.

Fox didn't have the time to move. The thing's beady black eyes stared right at him as its round and squishy body flew across the small distance between Fox and Even, and landed right on Fox's face with an audible, wet smack.

One of its sticky, goopy legs stuck right into Fox's mouth.

Even was staring at him now, with wide eyes and his hands grasping at nothing.

Fox definitely screamed.