#SM didn’t make TaeMin into this

[anotherdescentintomadness]

TaeMin — Eternal concept gallery #2

Horizon

Sexy In The Air

[jongbross]

get you alone (sub!byun baekhyun x f!reader)

pairing: sub!byun baekhyun x f!reader word count: 3.5k genre: smuuut warnings: description of sexual activities, oral sex (female receiving), semi public sex, cum eating, handjob, teasing, swearing, sub!baekhyun, dom!reader, brat!baekhyun, baekhyun is a good boy, mentions of alcohol, mentions of superm (i miss my boys) a/n: i didn't beta read this, i hate this ending, i'm sad because i don't have a baekhyun for myself, but i'm also happy because i've been trying to write this idea for a long time now! this is an extra for kinktober, so i hope you all like it <3

the party was truly enjoyable. you had a smile on your face, a sincere one, while listening to the group chatting around you. jongin laughed hard at something mark said, hitting the youngest’s arm repeatedly. baekhyun caught on to the joke, not letting it die and making everyone laugh even more.

“it’s just like that! for real!”, taeyong said between laughs. 

you smiled to yourself at the sight of the six of them. superm was obviously a way sm found to put all of them to work even more than they already did, but the way they clicked was undeniable. the way baekhyun, taemin and jongin looked at the youngest ones made your heart warm, as you knew they saw themselves in those young eyes.

baekhyun took a moment to look at his members, like he was sharing the same thoughts as you. he grinned to himself, quickly looking down when he felt his cheeks burning. you remembered how excited - but also worried - he was when he became their leader, not sure if his experience in the field and being the oldest was enough to lead them. to say he wanted only the best for his personal friends and for the new kids was an underestimation, and anxiety ate him alive at that time.

every doubt he had faded away as time went by, as they recorded their album, their music videos, and even their own reality show. all the five of them, even taemin who despite being younger had more time in the industry, looked up at baekhyun and trusted him fully to take them on that journey. and for that, baekhyun was grateful.

“baby?”, you called him, catching his attention immediately and also receiving a few looks from his members. “can you get me another beer?”

you stretched your arm towards the cold metal bucket sitting on the tiny table in front of you. bottles were spread around it, all empty, but somehow the bucket was still full - probably someone from the bar reloaded it when you went to the bathroom.

“hm… don’t you think you drank too much already, bambi?”

“of course not, i only had three of them.”

“that’s more than enough to get you tipsy”, baekhyun smirked, pinching your cheek before turning his attention to his friends.

“that’s more than enough to get you in brat mode at me too, apparently”, you fired back, making ten choke on his drink.

if baekhyun thought he could pull that off just because he was with his friends, he was deadly wrong. silently, baekhyun licked his lips, reaching for a bottle of beer and giving it to you. jongin suddenly started laughing, finger pointed at his oldest friend.

“his ears are getting red!”, he said. “hyung, are you embarrassed?”

“why should i?”, your boyfriend shrugged like it was no big deal. “i’m just a gentleman. learn how to treat your girl right, guys: do what they ask you, they know better.”

“or else you’re called a brat”, taemin completed, laughing too.

baekhyun’s attempt to brush it off didn’t work, and you could see on his face that he was trying to come up with a joke to get himself out of it.

“you should see who’s the brat when we’re alone…”, he said with a smirk on his face, and you just couldn’t believe it.

really? he would try to sound like he had any type of upper hand on you now? five pairs of eyes fell on you, closely watching as you looked at baekhyun in disbelief.

“are you sure you wanna play this way?”, you asked him.

baekhyun slowly looked at you, lips pressed into a line. you shot up an eyebrow, smirking at him like a challenge. he blinked a few times, mouthing a “i’m sorry” before turning to his friends again. 

the disbelief was now on jongin’s face, who stared at you with wide eyes. mark, just like a mirror, did the same a few seconds afterwards (when he understood what had just happened).

“i can’t believe it… you made him shut up!”, jongin exclaimed, the guys around him trying their best not to laugh. “i’ve been trying to do that for years now!”

“you better quit, jongin ah. you are not her”, baekhyun said, also reaching for another beer.

“what’s the secret?”, taemin asked, much to baekhyun’s annoyance.

“oh…”, you smiled. “he just knows that only good boys end up in my bed.”

again, baekhyun licked his lips. the laughing and screaming from his members weren’t enough to make him not look at you, desperately trying not to smile. 

you winked at him, before looking at the boys and seeing both taeyong and mark blushing. 

because, truth was: baekhyun was all loud and energetic around people, making everyone laugh and being the life of the party anywhere he stepped his foot in. he could easily give off dom vibes - or maybe not even dom, just the one who had the final word on your relationship. but you knew better than that.

oh, you knew so much better than that.

baekhyun’s laugh echoed through the pleace, getting mixed to the other ones.

“she’s funny just like me”, he said, trying his best to not ruin his reputation as the loud, funny guy, the one that always had a witty reply on the tip of his tongue and didn’t know how to shut up; his reputation as their leader.

but both of you knew, deep down, that it was a lost cause now.

“yeah, yeah… right”, jongin rolled his eyes at his hyung.

conversation naturally started again, thanks to ten who could almost literally sense how tense baekhyun was beside him. the group went back to talk and joke and tell stories about their lives.

baekhyun did his best to keep his normal self, teasing his members and being loud, but although his lips carried the conversation, his mind was far away from that party. he could feel your hand on his thigh as you scrolled through your phone, which reminded him of your presence and the control you undeniably had over him; he could feel your soft breathes on his neck, head loosely rested on his shoulder.

not so long after, baekhyun gasped when he felt your nails caressing the inside of his thigh - such a mindless, innocent act, but that made him catch your attention by putting his hand on top of yours, eyes fixed on your lips.

“you wanna go home?”, he asked you.

you turned your attention to him, locking your phone with a click. resting your chin on baekhyun's shoulder, you pouted a little.

"actually i do, but i don't wanna make you leave", you confessed. "you should be with your members right now."

"what if i wanted to be with you instead?", he whispered. "only you."

at that, you smiled. you left your phone resting on top of your thighs so you could reach for baekhyun's cheek, caressing his soft skin and feeling your heart warm at how he leaned into your touch.

"but you don't wanna leave, do you?", you whispered back. baekhyun hesitantly shaked his head, humming a tiny 'no'. "how about i take you somewhere so i can give you some attention, and then you come back to hang out with the guys a little bit more before we head home?"

baekhyun immediately nodded, like an obedient puppy. you smiled again, pinching his cheek while telling him to come up with an excuse to his members. you got up and walked away, making sure baekhyun was paying attention to where you were going.

"guys, i…", he turned to his members. "um… i gotta go help (y/n) really quick with something. i'm gonna be right back."

he knew it wasn't the smartest excuse, he knew at least half of them would know what he meant - but the thing was, he didn't really care if they understood what he was about to do.

"yeah, sure, hyung", taeyong said like a good younger brother. "we'll be here waiting for you."

baekhyun got up as well, bowing to them as a way to say thank you. but as he turned around to leave, he heard taemin saying "just remember to use protection, hyung" and suddenly his ears were burning again.

(...)

knocking twice on the door, baekhyun heard your voice telling him to come in - so he did.

the office room was well lit with a long desk in the center of it and big, darkened windows all around it. it wasn't your first time sneaking around sm's building with baekhyun to find some time alone, so both of you knew that bit very well already. 

so baekhyun knew that, when big events were happening like that night, nobody used to go to that corridor; still, he took his time to lock the door and pull down the curtains that were hanging on top of it.

he turned around to you then, smiling as he looked at you. "look, they changed that vase", he commented, pointing at something behind you. 

"i noticed. the other one was prettier", you said, eyes never leaving him.

baekhyun got closer to you, hands already reaching for your waist, embracing your body once it was at his reach.

"but you didn’t call me here just to talk about vases, did you?"

you smiled. "what if i did?"

you wrapped your arms around baekhyun's neck, fingers caressing the back of it. he closed his eyes, humming in delight - just like a puppy.

"i'll gladly do anything you want."

"i know you will."

all of a sudden, resting your hands on his shoulders now, you pushed him back.

"take off your pants."

baekhyun raised his eyebrows. of course, it wouldn't be the first time you would have your way with baekhyun somewhere in public (even though you were alone), but still - it was always a surprise for him.

it's not like he didn't like it either. baekhyun came to like the idea of taking a little bit more of risk, having a little bit less of shame. it started one time, when he was really needy and didn't stop touching you, so you took him to the bathroom of the restaurant where you were having dinner with friends, having him on his knees so he could eat you out. he did everything you said, and as a reward, he came twice that night.

what you said to his members was real. baekhyun knew how to be a good boy - because he knew what the rewards were.

"here? again?"

"you wanted to be with me, right? only me?"

baekhyun nodded, fingers already resting on his belt.

"and you don't wanna go home?"

he denied, undoing both his belt and his zippers.

"so take it off. you can have both of it, baby."

baekhyun hated the shiver that ran down his spine at your words.

like the obedient boyfriend he was, he did what you said. he pushed his pants down to the middle of his thighs, hesitating just for a tiny second before doing the same with his boxers.

his dick wasn't fully hard yet, but it still was an amazing view, the way you could turn him on just by light touches and the right words.

you called him over, and with two small steps baekhyun was back in front of you, eyes desperately trying to read your expression, trying to see what your next move was. he gasped and jumped in surprise when you wrapped your hand around his member.

"shit…", he groaned when you started to pump him off.

"you like that, don't you?"

baekhyun nodded, resting his hands on the desk behind you, caging you between his arms.

"i don't know if you deserve to feel good, though."

at that, baekhyun looked at you, eyes shining like he was ready to beg you for something.

"i've been a good boy", he said with pouty lips. "i did what you asked me to".

"but i didn't like how you acted in front of your members. why did you have to be so bratty?"

baekhyun moaned, feeling you squeeze his dick. "i'm sorry, bambi".

"are you?", you tilted your head. "or did you do all that just to get me alone somewhere? because you knew i was gonna punish you?"

again, he moaned - and it was the perfect answer for your question. 

you started to pump him faster, delighted with the way he was leaking already, growing harder and harder inside your hand. baekhyun tried to thrust his hips to match your pace, but was quickly stopped by you circling his waist with your other arm, holding him still.

"don't."

he groaned. "babe, i-"

"i shouldn't even let you cum tonight, you know? i should send you back to your team with a hard cock and frustrated eyes", you chuckled to yourself. "what would they say, um?"

"please don't do that, bambi", he pleaded, hands resting on your hips now. "i was a good boy last night, wasn't i?"

you laughed, letting your thumb work on his tip now. "last night isn't tonight, baek."

he shut his eyes, biting his bottom lip when your thumb started to tease his slit.

"t-then let me make it up for you", he gasped. "please…"

"and how would you do that?"

baekhyun opened his eyes, moaning just at the sight of you smirking at him.

"i can make you cum too, you know i can", he said. "just use my tongue, it's yours anyway. let me taste you."

you licked your lips, looking at his own. the way you leaned in, it was supposed to be only a small peck, but baekhyun held your face in between his hands, trapping you and deepening the kiss as he put his tongue into your mouth.

for a second, you felt lightheaded. baekhyun was such a good kisser, he had such a way with his lips - in every way possible. he squeezed your hips, pulling you close to him and making you feel his member against your stomach.

"please", baekhyun whispered against your lips. "don't do me like that."

"on your knees", was the only thing you replied, letting go of his dick.

baekhyun didn’t even think about it, he just immediately got on his knees, fingers eager to curl your dress up and pull your underwear down. you stepped out of it, smiling to yourself when he just put it in his pocket to keep it - god only knows how many of your panties baekhyun had as part of his private collection now.

wasting no time, he pulled one of your legs to rest on his shoulder as he drank from you, tongue savoring your taste with a long lick. one of his hands curled around your thigh, while the other one quickly found his dick, pumping himself way faster than you were doing.

again, baekhyun was amazing with his lips. he knew how to use them, where to kiss, where to lick. plus, his cute but not so little button nose was just perfect to tease your clit as he devoured you, tongues exploring all of his favorite places and circling your entrance over and over again.

it was almost second nature to you already the way you grabbed him by his hair, holding him still and you grinded on his face. any other guy wouldn’t moan as loud as baekhyun did, nor dig their nails deeper on your skin, probably because no other guy could love being used by you like baekhyun did.

“you’re so good with your mouth, fuck…”, you moaned, looking down at baekhyun. it was a sight to see, the way he looked up at you while sucking on you, just to watch your reaction. the pleasure was great enough for you to almost, almost not notice the way he was pumping his cock.

with a little bit of roughness, you pulled his head back and away from your core. baekhyun’s chin was covered in your fluids, some even getting down his neck - he should probably think in a good excuse to tell his members.

“stop it”, you told him, but he only groaned. “i didn’t tell you to touch yourself. stop it.”

with a whine, baekhyun did as he was told, letting go of his hard member, now pressed against his clothed stomach, red and leaking.

“bambi…”, he whined.

“make me cum and then we’ll see what we do about you, babe.”

baekhyun nodded, not a single sign of his bratty attitude on sight. funny, right?

as you leaned back a little, using the desk behind you as leverage, baekhyun leaned forward again, attaching his lips to you and now using both his hands to hold your hips. 

“grind on my face, please”, he pleaded in a whisper.

and a truth maybe no other person knew besides baekhyun was that you were a sucker for him just as much as he was for you. there was something about whiny baekhyun, asking you - sometimes begging - to do something with him that always got under your skin, always made you feel wanted, desired, loved.

so you clenched around nothing, moving your hips just the way you knew baekhyun liked too. the friction created by the circling movements of his tongue on your core plus the way you humped on his face was more than enough to make both of you moan out loud.

you could only wish that, even though you knew there was no one outside that door, no soul in that building would be able to hear you two.

“oh my gosh, baek!”, you sighed when he teased your entrance, just the tip of his tongue working on it. “s-shit, i- yes, just like that!”

instead of entering you, baekhyun started to suck on you. it felt like he was trying to drown in your waters, absolutely not caring about what the consequences were.

“babe… b-babe, i’m gonna cum”, you moaned, not missing the way he pressed his face harder against you, nails scratching your hips. “you’re so good, baek… f-fuck, i’m gonna cum all over you.”

just your words was enough to get baekhyun panting, licking and sucking your clit over and over in anticipation, until he finally felt your reward on his tongue. your grip on his head loosened, but you couldn’t say the same about his grip on your body. to be honest, baekhyun held you even closer, trying to drink down every drop of what you had to offer him, of what you had to give.

“stop…”, you had to tell him, so he could let go of you; otherwise, baekhyun would stay there, eating you out again and again until you couldn’t cum anymore, just like he did once.

exhausted but satisfied, baekhyun rested his head against your thigh, eyes closed and face covered in you. he heard you chuckling, before he felt the way you softly caressed his hair, pushing his dark, damped locks away from his face.

“you did good”, you praised him.

“thank you”, and he placed a kiss on your thigh. “thank you so much.”

you whispered for him to get up. you didn’t want to see how long you two have spent away, not what his members would be thinking by now - i mean, they’re not stupid, but you know… the less they actually know, the better.

baekhyun got back on his feet with your help, groaning from how sore his knees were. it was only when he started to put up his pants that you saw, the wet, sticky stain on his stomach…

“baek… did you cum?”

it was straight out of a cartoon the way his ears got red, with his fingers slowly zipping up his pants, eyes staring at his feet.

“maybe…?”

the way you laughed was enough to make him look up at you, glaring at you through his eyelashes. “and now you’re gonna get back to your team with that?”

you pointed at his blouse. “what will they say?”

“ugh, i don’t care about that”, he groaned, hugging you by your waist. “if they could taste you, i bet they would cum untouched too.”

“but they can’t.”

“that’s right, they can’t”, he bit his lower lip. “because i’m the only one who can play with you, right?”

“yeah, well… more like i’m the only one who can play with you, mister.”

the way baekhyun laughed - that little, loud laugh, that resembled a young boy’s laugh - made you fall in love with him all over again.

“i don’t mind being played with if it’s by you”, he confessed, hiding his face on the crook of your neck. “in fact, i think i’m not done for the night… you should play with me some more when we get home.

and it was your time to laugh.

“you’re such a goner”, you commented.

“for this pussy? always.”

baekhyun didn’t even try to react when you smacked his arm for what he said - both of you knew it was the truth.

[pinkbrries]

HANNAH RELATIONSHIPS: INSIDE SM EDITION

[a/n: i only added the most notable relationships!! this doesn’t mean hannah doesn’t get along with other sm artists! she just has a closer bond with these groups/artists]

RED VELVET

besties with all of them<3 during trainee days you’d always find her around her unnies and following them like a duckling, especially with irene. they would always comfort her and baby her (since hannah and yeri are the same age).

she’s always sitting with them during isac’s or walking with them during ending stages at events/concerts.

irene is her mom and is always beside her, if she sees a male idol looking at her baby she instantly gives them the /deadly stare/ she usually makes every time men are around😭

wendy is always vibing or laughing with her, joy is the one that always gives her advice, seulgi is the one looking after her and yeri and hannah share the chaotic siblings energy

yeri: i remember the first time i saw hannah, she was as tall as my waist / hannah: what are you even talking about😭 you’ve always been shorter than me

they’re always laughing, spilling the tea or taking pics together. they all have such a wholesome relationship:’)

EXO

like the little social butterfly hannah is, she connected immediately with sehun and chanyeol. one day they were total strangers, and at the next day you’d find them laughing their ass off because of the most random thing😭 the shared brain cell goes strong here

there would be times that hannah would always be around the pair even during their practice (because they would invite her) that junmyeon didn’t have any other choice but to adopt the neo (adding one more parent to hannah’s list rip)

eventually she became close with minseok, jongdae, yixing and kyungsoo too, the aforementioned even having a tiny soft spot for the girl even if she’s loud af<3

the way the exos hyped her up during that sm family collaboration interview 😭 she breathed on the mic and you could hear suho saying “wah hannah so cool!!” and baekhyun screaming “hannah swag!” ASDJJFA

and after superm happened? she’s besties now with jongin and baek<33

member she’s the closest with: baekhyun, kai, chanyeol, sehun.

SHINEE

the first member she became close is key, so hannah is kibum’s adoration. literally. one day he saw the girl and went like that's it, i found my favorite neo

he is always roasting and teasing her tho😭 fans say it’s like a “fresh breath of air” seeing them together because it’s always hannah roasting the neos so they really enjoy keyXhannah interactions ASFKLJFS

*during an instagram live* hannah: any positive aspects about the military? / key: i could use my phone whenever i want / hannah: oppa? then why you didn’t answer calls!! / key: yah! you only invited me to complain about me???

taemin and her became besties because of superm, she became close to minho since they acted on a drama together and jinki and jonghyun eventually joined the club because they would always see her around the other members 🤝 that’s when hannah realized that shinee are, indeed, the most chaotic people she has ever met😭 (in a good way tho, she loves them<3)

they’re the only ones that have the “oppa” privilege ajslask😭

member she’s the closest with: taemin, kibum.

SNSD

big sisters energy<33

the way all of them have always hyped her up since always, everytime they would have the chance they'd go “hannah cute!” or “hannah you got this!”

hannah was almost tears when she met some of them when she moved agencies,,, wtf this is literally her childhood idols??

tiktok challenges? you bet hannah is the first one that gets the invitation to join

hannah thinks all of them are probably the most lovable ppl ever, fr

hyoyeon and hannah became closer because of mnet’s “good girl” and since then, hyo is always so excited whenever they have the opportunity to spend time together

taeyeon is also another member she became really close with,,, no one knows how it happened but everyone loves the interactions so !!

yoona and sunny are such supportive sunbaes with her too:((

oh man, she's even close with jessica and tiffany (we love our foreign girlies) like,,, hannah you'll always be famous DKSJDK

all the snsd always look at hannah with proud eyes<3

always giving her advice or looking up after her. hannah knows she can really trust them🥺

member she’s the closest with: taeyeon, hyo, tiffany (former)

AESPA

she met winter, ning ning and karina when she started training under sm

she’s now the big sister figure for the aespa girls

has the softest spot for ning ning, but can you blame her? she’s so cute

pls they sometimes talk in tiny with her and hannah goes 🥺 these are my girlies

always hypes them up and she’s their #1 fan now

member she’s the closest with: ning ning.

BOA

oh man,,, she was SHAKING when she first met her

not a joke, even johnny always teases her about that encounter DSKJDKS

but hannah realized that boa is a humble queen,,, and hannah couldnt help but ask for an autograph for her mom HELP

the way she got invited several times by her to eat,, everyone was impressed when hannah referred to her as "unnie" like,,,, hannah you're literally so slay

boa has referred to hannah as very dear dongsaeng to her

"Hanan is such a talented, charismatic and hard working girl. She's the perfect example of what an idol should be" (deserved honestly)

[acebytaemin]

hi omg i dont mean to bring skznee into everything that i can but did you know han has also recommended and covered a little snippet of the one ok rock song that taemin recommended on bubble.! very cute i know taemin is friends w hyunjin so i can only hope he gets introduced to hanji too they'd get along so well i feel it in my heart

hiii well if there’s one person who won’t mind if you make everything abt skznee it’s meeee hehe and also i tried finding it bc i would love to hear it but it didn’t come up 💔 ik he’s done we are on lee mujin and i love his singing voice sm i feel like he’d be so good doing more one ok rock type stuff! also ykw it’s such an unlikely pairing at first but now that i think about it i mean two emotional weeb babygirl aces… it fits it fits

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Not that I care about Tedros, but honestly there are some visual similarities between Layover and Taemin’s album. But didn’t Min Hee Jin work with Taemin when she was part of SM? So whatever little similarities there are can be easily explained rather than calling it plagiarism. Army’s are dumb so can’t expect anything better from them. But then again Shawols accused Jimin of plagiarising from Key for Face, so I guess there are dumb ppl in each fandom.

But I am sure army will again drag with Tae’s 2M sales and streams 🙄 They have already decided in the group who is worthy of what praise. So for them “copying” Tae’s visual concept is a bigger crime since visual is Tae’s thing. They can’t really drag with the actual music quality since they have nothing there to defend with 🤷‍♀️

Anon, stupidity doesn't discriminate. I've seen some posts when Face was announced and I've seen what Tae solos and Army are doing it now and obviously taking it to the next level. It's all bollocks to me. A lot of noise and yapping from the cult like they always do. I choose to ignore it because there is no way in which I want this comeback to make me think of Tedros and his stans. I mean, what the fuck? Taemin's comeback will not be spoilt by this. It's not the same league.

There are more important things to talk about anyway if we are to associate any BTS topic/people with Taemin. Like the Suchwita episode because I hope Taemin will talk about the only kiss him and Jimin had and how he led JM into homosexuality. I think that's a necessary talk to have with Suga for like at least 5 minutes of the show. A bit of gossip towards the end.

[isabelleadjani]

there’s something i have got to say. please don’t cancel me.

that taemin trailer looks really bad. like REALLY bad. i get that there’s budget constraints i get that but my guy. you can make something beautiful on a dime. it just does not look good and it feels like a high school project in terms of “themes” and “concept” like so wildly on the nose and hamfisted and unsophisticated. idk man i still didn’t hear his last album but i am interested in his first release outside sm and well. this is not getting my hopes up high.

[cha-ra-nui]

Awards Section

This is the awards section of my 2023 retrospective. The other parts of the retrospective are linked below.

Playlist | Prefix | Part 1: Music | Part 2: Anime and Other Media | Awards Section

Song of the Year:

WOODZ – Drowing: WOODZ has Album of the Year secured with OO-LI, no question about that. But when it comes to a single song, as good as Drowing is, I think I just love the EP more as a whole. If he’d just dropped Drowing as a single it might’ve taken the title.

Key – Easy: I can’t give it to Key again. Not three years in a row, and certainly not for this song. Killer or Heartless I could maybe justify, but I didn’t nominate them, I nominated Easy. I can’t even explain why I love it so much. Is it the best song I heard all year? No. But it’s my most played track anyway.

Sam Haft, Andrew Underberg, Alex Brightman – 2 Minutes Notice: I have half a mind to give it to this. Wouldn’t that be funny, a showtune from a YouTube cartoon taking SOTY? Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Haaaaaa… It would be funnier it wasn’t seriously a top candidate for that title.

Winner: King Gnu – SPECIALZ This is it. SOTY for a group I never expected to hand it to. Not because I disliked them or anything, I enjoyed every time they crossed my path. But because SOTY usually goes to an artist I love, and I only know King Gnu from their Anime tie-ins. And normally if a group delivers a song this good I would be digging my way through their albums, but I’m not. This song is special, and don’t want context for it.

Album of the Year:

Key – Killer: A stretch, I’m aware. In fact, the only reason why this isn’t getting the title is because 11/14 songs already released in 2022, and it got album of the year then. It’s by far my most played record of 2023 though, and one of my favorite K-pop albums period.

Onew – Circle: Yeah, I know, just nominate every SHINee solo, will you? No, I won’t. Taemin’s just missed out. See, I’m totally not biased, Circle was just that good. A stunningly beautiful album start to finish.

Ryugujo – 2 Much: Debut of the year, hands down. Ryugujo’s first EP is exactly as fierce as Avu-chan wanted, and I found this group impossible to look away from ever since.

Albums that I regularly listened to in full and therefore get my recommendation but missed out on a nomination, in no particular order:

VIXX – Continuum: Far from their strongest work, otherwise it would’ve taken the title by default. But even with half the members missing, it’s still VIXX, and it’s the best K-pop boy group record released in 2023.

æspa – Drama: I have no excuse; this is just fun. Sometimes you need an EP that isn’t ashamed of being batshit K-pop.

Red Velvet – Chill Kill: Very pretty and cohesive album. SM saves all their pleasant-sounding music for their girl groups.

Purple Kiss – Cabin Fever: Purple Kiss’ best EP to date.

Dreamcatcher – VillainS: Enjoyed this EP way more than I thought I would.

Kiss Of Life – Born To Be XX: These girls are going places.

Winner: WOODZ – OO-LI There was never any doubt about which release would take album of the year, because WOODZ utterly obliterated the competition. Every other nomination, including the Key album that is totally not from the year before anyway, at least has one song I don’t care for. But OO-LI never misses. Not even 7/10 misses. Every single song on this EP stands out, and they come together beautifully. WOODZ is enlisting this January, and I already don’t know what to do without being able to rely on him to deliver great comebacks for the next two years. Come back safely, and never stop making music.

Artist of the Year:

I keep struggling with this one because most of my favorite releases tend to be from tenure artists who drop one comeback and then vanish for the rest of the year. If you asked me who I admired the most, it would be WOODZ. If you asked me who I listened to the most, it would be Key. If you asked me who surprised me the most, it would be Ryugujo. If you asked me who had the most releases I loved though, I’m stuck. The list of artists who released more than one album which I enjoyed is short. Dreamcatcher, Kiss Of Life, æspa, and that’s it, I’m stuck. So you know what? Fuck it. I won’t get the chance to do that again for two years.

Winner: WOODZ Between OO-LI, a world tour, and Amnesia, WOODZ had a great year. He hasn’t missed once in his career, but right now he’s on a level of his own. No one else active this year has delivered this level of consistency and quality. WOODZ is a gem, and I don’t think it’s possible to lavish his music with too much praise right now.

Miscellaneous Music:

Best Music Video: Heartsteel – Paranoia

Best Choreography: Le Sserafim – Eve, Psyche & The Bluebird’s Wife

Best Debut Single: Ryugujo – 2 Much

Top 15 B-sides (no videos, only one entry per artist):

Key – Heartless

WOODZ – Busted

Taemin – She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Infinite – Time Difference

Kim Sejeong – Jenga

Red Velvet – One Kiss

Onew – No Parachute

VIXX – Savage

Purple Kiss – T4ke

Dreamcatcher – Propose

æspa – Don’t Blink

IVE – Blue Blood

SHINee – Identity

ATEEZ – Dune

U-Know – Tarantino

Best Insert Song: Helluva Boss – 2 Minutes Notice

Other Media

Game Of The Year: The Legend Of Zelda – Tears Of The Kingdom Not the most creative pick, but sometimes Nintendo delivers, and their games are magical when they do.

Anime Of The Year: Link Click Season 2 Since I didn’t watch everything I wanted to get to, this might change in hindsight, once I feel better and catch up with shows like Oshi no Ko, Vinland Saga, and Tengoku Daimakyou. Jujutsu Kaisen also had a strong season, and Shounen does not get much better than its Hidden Inventory and Shibuya Incident arcs, but ultimately Link Click is the show I cared about the most. Everything in this show feels intentional. Every mystery has a satisfying pay-off, and that earns it enough trust from the audience to expect a satisfying continuation (and hopefully conclusion) in the already confirmed third season. I for one can’t wait to see what happens next and considering the time travel aspect of the show and season two’s final twist, what already happened. I love the characters and want to see them get out of this story safe and sound.

Opening Of The Year: Link Click Season 2 There was competition, certainly, but in the end, nothing touched this masterpiece. They made a song that would sound good played forwards and backwards, just so they could rewind the opening. It looks great and is a great fit for a time travel mystery. I got to respect the craft that went into this.

Ending Of The Year: Oshi No Ko I didn’t have much opportunity to mention Queen Bee in this retrospective, but they delivered on this ending theme.

Movie Of The Year: Oppenheimer I have half a mind to praise Puss In Boots more, but Oppenheimer is a staggeringly well made movie, and I would be remiss if I didn’t give it the crown.

[5hinee4ever]

Hi guys, it’s me again.

I’m the person who made the “if you don’t support this respect Taemin thing you don’t care about Jonghyun” post last week.

I’ve since deleted the post because I thought it was really harsh and unnecessary and I was using words to get people to see my point, but I was angry.

What I wanted people to take away from that post is that Jonghyun would want us to challenge the K-pop industry and not be complacent with it, and saying “Taemin won’t be promoted because that’s just how the industry is” is complacency, and that if Jonghyun was here he would likely vouch for Taemin to get his year end stage, although I don’t know if the outcome would be any different. Guilty may not even exist. Things would be different if he was here but he isn’t.

It’s more about the fact that some non-Shawols took what happened and made it tragedy p0rn which is 100% not ok. However I see a lot of Shawols in defense to this spreading toxic positivity and almost shutting down people when they say they miss him or whatever, and most people only want to focus on cute and funny moments or his talent and not difficult topics.

We KNOW Taemin has struggles with anxiety and depression whether or not he wants to tell us this. The Taemin hashtags came out a day after I saw Holland’s post about wanting to leave the industry and I was just thinking about how closed-minded, homophobic, and static it is. I don’t know whether or not Taemin is queer himself, but he is definitely the target of some anti-queer ideologies because of how he dresses and presents.

I also genuinely believe that SM doesn’t promote his more “challenging” comebacks like “Guilty” because they don’t want to own up to their own mistakes in how they they failed to protect their young idols from harassment. There are many variety show clips of an underage Taemin being jokingly flirted with or hit on by older men and Jonghyun was the only one who seemed to try to do something. I am NOT saying the others didn’t care, I’m sure they were in an awkward position and didn’t know what to say. Key was laughing awkwardly in some of the clips I don’t think he found it funny, he was just trying to ease social tension or it was a nervous laugh. But I guess my point is a lot of people would be afraid to say something to put their careers at risk but Jonghyun gave the guy a warning.

I guess my point was that that we shouldn’t only remember Jonghyun as an amazing singer and artist and a sweet and funny person but also an activist, and one of the only people in the industry at the time to talk about mental health, LGBTQ, and women’s’ issues. But in addition to all that he was also Taemin’s biggest fan and would 100 vouch for him to have better opportunities in a case like this. I felt that saying Taemin won’t get promoted on these shows and we shouldn’t trend hashtags was disrespectful to both Taemin and Jonghyun.

But saying that “you don’t care about Jonghyun” is wrong. Some of you don’t, some of you who aren’t Shawols and don’t get it, and some of you who claim to be Shawols but miss the damn point all the time, or they only care about keeping an image intact. But I can’t say that everyone who disagrees with my way of helping Taemin is unsupportive or doesn’t care. I know hashtags and screaming into the void can come off as pointless or stupid. But I am autistic and have a very strong internal sense of justice, and I got angry and tried to keep spreading the tags to try to help. It didn’t matter because at that point all shows were scheduled. I also feel so helpless in the general state of the world, going on with my life when people are killed in wars and famine and how society feels like it is crumbling. I took hold of something I thought I could have some sway over and did it.

I want to make a formal apology to anyone I hurt with my words. There is no excuse for saying what I said, even if it may apply to some people, it may also reach others who were hurt.

Taemin just posted on Bubble that Yeonjun “relieved him of his sorrow” according to Google Translate, and someone in my group chat translated it to say basically that Yeonjun fulfilled his desire. So I think we can say Taemin is satisfied with Yeonjun’s performance despite him still probably preferring to do it himself. As a Moa, SHINee and TXT have a lot of mutual respect for each other and this is not the first time I’ve seen our fandoms going head to head, like with the light stick thing back in 2020, which was quite frankly stupid. I’m sure Taemin would have preferred to perform himself but he seems satisfied with Yeonjun’s performance and what’s done is done.

I now want to ask you to PLEASE not harass Yeonjun or Kiss of Life for the performance. If you want to get angry at anyone, you can get angry at SM or Golden Disc, but my “conspiracy” about his promotions isn’t even confirmed. It could be a simple business thing where they got fourth gen idols to get more views. The ship on this has sailed, and I’m seeing people still pissed and trying to trend the hashtags.

You should want him to get better promos and you should want the industry to face some of its glaring issues, like debuting such young minors, which Taemin addressed his own experience in Guilty…SM doesn’t want to talk about Taemin or Krystal or Sulli and the fact that Min Hee Jin is still in the industry says a LOT, it’s not only an SM problem but industry-wide.

But this particular issue is over, and we don’t need to discuss it anymore and start fights about it, since Taemin himself said he was satisfied with Yeonjun’s performance.

I want to add one additional note to the people who said that we were infantilize Taemin or treating him as helpless with these hashtags. I respectfully disagree, and believe that Taemin has and will continue to achieve a lot on his own, but having a strong support network is good for adults too, and fans should help artists achieve their goals especially when they are subverting industry norms. Adults also need strong support networks for their mental health, and I’m sure Jonghyun would vouch for that as well, but that doesn’t excuse my wording. All I wanted to do was be a supportive fan but I ended up attacking others. I feel like I need to apologize to Jonghyun too for using him like this.

So my main takeaways are:

1) we should remember ALL aspects of Jonghyun’s life and not ignore his activism or his support of Taemin and we should honor his memory by supporting positive change in the industry and

2) this specific Taemin issue is over, and harassing others over it who disagree with you is not okay, as well as harassing the idols who did the cover.

I just want to say that I will still have the petition for a world tour in my pinned post, and I want to get as many signatures as possible to show Taemin how much support he has and hopefully have it get back to SM as well for them to see the demand. This is one constructive thing we can do for the future. Also I don’t usually say this, but stream stream stream. I don’t support streaming culture on the whole, but Guilty MV really needs it and the song is so good I’m playing it on repeat anyway.

Again, I’m sorry if I hurt anyone, and I thank you for your patience.

-Riah

[shineearticles]

There comes a time in every male Korean idol’s career where the pause button has to be pressed and, as SHINee’s maknae (youngest member) announced in that April livestream, his turn is looming on the horizon. On May 31, Taemin will enlist for his mandatory military service, bringing down the curtains on an incredibly accomplished first chapter of his career – the kind most people would be happy to enjoy even a small fraction of.

The star’s reflective mood in his broadcast is unsurprising – as he himself acknowledged, he’s barely had a break since debuting at 14 years old. Heading to the military will give him his longest period of “time off” from his day job since he first became an SM Entertainment trainee. It’s only natural, then, that as he’s about to be given some space from all he’s known for the last 13 years – be that SHINee, supergroup SuperM or his solo projects – he would begin to take stock of everything that’s happened so far.

As he looks back, Taemin will find a first act to be proud of – one full of constant improvement, passion and hard work. It’s hard to imagine a time when the 27-year-old wasn’t considered an all-round talent, but back when SHINee made their debut in 2008, he was thought of more as a dancer than a singer. Infamously, his vocals weren’t even featured on the iconic debut track ‘Replay’, yet now he’s one of the most respected and beloved singers and dancers in the biz. It’s a journey that highlights just how far he’s come and how much he’s poured into his life as an idol. These days (and for a long time now), Taemin is one of K-pop’s most reliable aces, a star who can inject magic into any song or performance.

“Reliable” might not be the most exciting adjective, but Taemin certainly does live up to its definition as an authentic and dedicated idol to his craft. His consistency doesn’t cancel out his ability to thrill and he does so on a regular basis. That enthralling nature sparkles whether he’s conquering the stage with his theatrical, elegant dance style or playing with the ideas of gender and androgyny, as he did in the video for his 2017 solo song ‘Move’, blurring the lines between femininity and masculinity with the song’s now-iconic choreography.

Over the last 13 years, Taemin has also proven just how versatile a performer he is. Here is an artist who can take on an eclectic range of bold concepts, from the avant-garde to the seductive and everything in between. It’s no shock that a member of SHINee – a group renowned for their ability to constantly mix things up – is a pro at always finding some new ground to explore.

The title of his ‘Never Gonna Dance Again’ series didn’t hint at an impending retirement but a desire to break free and try something new only goes to show just how commendably committed he is to shaking things up, even when he could easily rest on his laurels. In case there’s still any doubt over that fact, Taemin has one more release before he heads off to the military – the solo mini-album ‘Advice’.

For someone who has had very little time off since he was a child, it’s impressive how much Taemin consistently gives to his work. He’s clearly an idol who’s in love with both performing and creating, his passion and energy palpable in everything he does, even down to communicating with fans during livestreams on VLive and Instagram. The joy he seems to find in his work is infectious, gilding his performances – both on stage and on record – with even more gold. His teary broadcast last month reinforced this feeling further – a change of scenery might be refreshing, but he’ll miss every aspect of his job as an idol.

“I want to say not to worry about me,” Taemin adds during that VLive, a smile breaking out on his face. “Because I’ll be back next year. This makes it sound like a short period of time, right? I think I’ll be back at the end of next year’s November.” When he does come back to us, service done, expect Taemin’s second act to be even more brilliant than his first and full of yet more risk-taking, flawless creativity.

link

[suuho]

ontae not being in seasons greeting made me sad like i know that this is cause they didn't sign any contracts with sm but now any shinee cb or schedules seem far fetched to me like when do we see snsd preforming together??? like i don't want that to be the situation with shinee

kibum? or taemin? already spoiled that there will be a shinee album in the near future, so i wouldn’t necessarily worry too much. i also hope this won’t become a snsd situation (even though they DO love being in a group together and hanging out etc, they are just so busy all the time; it’s pretty much like 2pm; they just don’t manage to make an album together as opposed to when they were on a company schedule), because i want shinee to be shinee for a long time and release music for just as long.

that said, i am not too worried about that. we need minho and kibum in sm entertainment because the company has the rights to the group name and the entire brand that is shinee, much like we need members of exo, snsd, and suju still in the company to retain those group (rumor has it, junmyeon has been negotiating like crazy with sm. i still feel like cancelling the europe tour was maliciously done by the company to put him down a notch or to just be petty or whatever, lol); leaving sm to start anew under a whole name is a huge risk. i don’t think shinee would take that, at least not now. that name is too ingrained into who they are and their dna as artists and simply as people, and has double significance, of course, because of jonghyun.

that said, i just try to be optimistic about these things. now, the season’s greetings was definitely just sm being petty. losing ontae and cbx in the same calendar year was a HUGE loss. they infamously didn’t pay cbx for their appearances with exo, and now exo don’t even have a season’s greetings to begin with (just like last year until exols rioted), and ontae is missing from shinee after they left the company on, what now appears to be, not the best terms. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[starjxsung]

hi bestie <3 how are you?

i finally got home on thursday night. i feel the same was about chicago tho. it was so so so pretty but so tiring. but i kinda wanna move there now bc i enjoyed it and it’s so different to what im used to here. my two extra days were super stressful but the weather was so nice and windy.

i’m so sorry that your flight was scary! i hate flying sm, mine had a lot of turbulence but i drink some ✨anxiety meds✨ and sleep through it all <3

it sucks so much that we couldn’t meet but fr skz was total insanity and im just glad to have survived it </3 lolla skz will live in my head rent free forever. skz being real was not in 2k24 bingo card and i also need tickets for their tour or i’ll cry. but the chicago trip was sooooo expensive for me bc i have no control and went to a kpop store and target and to museums and the aquarium 🙃 and my support system is the worst bc i was only going to buy the ate version and my bf was like “get i.n and changbin” and that’s how i ended up with i.n, changbin, han and felix (i have lino on the way too) and a maxed out credit card (: money comes back ig. and the worst part was literally that ateez performed in chicago this weekend and i didn’t even know like </333 i could’ve met teo sang my beloved if i had stayed for a few more days (delulu bc with what money?). my bf is all for ateez @ lolla ‘25 so we’ll see 🤞🏻

and the chappell crowd was insanely full (literally the biggest one in lolla history wtf) but not as crazy as skz tbh. i love her sm tho, she’s such a superstar. i’m so glad to have been able to see her too <3

and alas, my semester starts tomorrow (not ready at all, screaming & crying) so real world awaits and im so bedrotting rn bc why can’t i be beautiful and do ska’s makeup or something for a living </3

anyways ily angel, i hope all is so well. take care of yourself always!!

-🐈‍⬛

MY LOOOOOVE oh my gosh it’s been a minute since I’ve been on here properly!!! How are you!! How’s practicum!!!!! I was just talking about you earlier today bc my sister was complaining about her practicum and I offhandedly mentioned I knew someone else who was doing one and it just got me thinking about you and hoping everything was going well 🥹💓

Ugh the more time that passes, the more I miss Lolla 💔 it truly just felt so relaxing to be able to put everything behind me for a week and just be at a music festival and not have a care in the world except for skz. I totally feel you on wanting to move there too! I felt the exact same way after going to New York for the first time to see 3racha. It was just this gut feeling that I’m supposed to be here all the time and it felt so magical 😭 I can’t believe in a few weeks it’ll be a year since I saw 3racha in NY. Time passes by so quickly I hate it

GIRLLLL THE MONEYYY oh my god I was literally scared of how much money I spent after skz at lolla, I was fr buying so much kpop stuff when I came back and I’ve been collecting so many of Jisung’s pcs this era so I have to physically pry myself away from scrolling on Mercari 😭 I can’t help it he is just TOOOOO FINE…. Also not you just missing Ateez nooooo 💔💔 but now that you mention ateez at Lolla I can SO see that happening??? If they do headline and you get tickets we HAVEEE TO MEET 🤞👼 MANIFESTINGGGGG

I hope the semester’s been going well!!! I hope you haven’t been too stressed (although it seems like we’re all just going THRUUU IT 😭) I love you so so much and I’m sending you all the good vibes to make it through another semester. (Also side note Taemin & Onew new albums WHEWEEEEWKEKDKDKKD MY SHAWOL HEART IS SOOOO HAPPY)

[jentlemahae]

oooooh i love this topic of conversation! yeah there aren't many groups where all members are soloist material like blackpink but i think shinee fits too. jonghyun was truly one of a kind. one of the most talented kpop idols of all time and he doesn't have a single skip on his solo discography. key is an insanely creative and talented performer. he's probably the most underrated all rounder in kpop tbh. onew's voice is too good to waste on him not having solo music. his last album (circle) was sooooo good and was one of my faves from 2023. ngl i'm not extremely familiar with minho's solo music but i liked heartbreak a lot. though he focuses on acting he still has the charisma and talent to perform on his own. and i don't think i need to explain why taemin shines as a soloist, it's very obvious.

like you said, sometimes people are in groups for a reason instead of being soloists and that doesn't mean they're not talented. a good example of this is exo. every single member is very talented and holds weight in the group and deserves to be there, yet only half the group are solid soloist material, ykwim? sm has made use of subunits instead and i think that has worked well. there are a lot of groups where there are one or two members with solo potential and there are many with zero and that's all okay. there are also idols that aren't meant to be in groups and were always destined to be soloists, like iu, somi, chungha etc. sometimes things are the way they are for a reason and it's not shady or bad to say that.

oh! shinee is a great example! idk why i didn’t think of them ahaha so thanks for mentioning! 😅 anw, i also agree with everything you’ve said!! yeah there are idols who make more sense as soloists than in a group, like somi or chungha — and it’s not that they didn’t do a good job in the group, they just fit better as soloists! and for some idols it’s the complete opposite. bp (and shinee!) make equal sense both as soloists and in their group imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

[pinkbrries]

#BASIC INFO

》 BIRTH NAME: hirata hanan (平田花南)

》 STAGE NAME: hannah

》 NICKNAMES: ann | annie | han han | double h | hananie | ace | nct’s golden girl 

》 BIRTH DATE: oct 4th, 2000

》 PLACE OF BIRTH: san francisco, california

》 ZODIAC SIGN: libra

》 ETHNICITY : japanese-american 

》 LANGUAGES: english (native), japanese (native), korean (fluent), spanish (conversational), french (basic), cantonese (learning)

》 HEIGHT: 1.63 cm || 5’2

》 EDUCATION: school of performing arts (SOPA) 

》 FACE CLAIM: kazuha (lesserafim)

》 EMOJI: 🌸

》 FAVORITE COLOR: pink.

》 MBTI: ENFJ-A

》 ROLE MODEL(S): boa, seulgi (rv), exo, ty&ten (nct), lisa (bp), taemin (shinee), CL (2ne1), dpr ian, dpr live, ikon. 

》 POSITIONS: main dancer, main rapper, visual. 

》 INDIVIDUAL FANDOM NAME: blossoms

#CAREER

》 COMPANIES:

YG entertainment: 2013 - 2016

SM entertainment: 2016 - present

》 TRAINEE PERIOD: 5 years

》 PRE DEBUT & OTHER APPEARANCES: 

dance practices/comeback stages/events (background dancer for various yg artists)

ten – dream in a dream (dance practice)

sm station season 3 – colde “loss” mv

sm station season 3 – chanyeol “ssfw” mv. 

henry lauv – “i luv u” mv. 

seoul fashion week. 

inkigayo (MC along with Mingyu and Song Kang)

law of the jungle. 

high school rapper. 

the return of superman. 

hello counselor. 

boss in the mirror. 

happy together. 

good girl. 

amazing saturday. 

drama: “lovestruck in the city.” 

drama: “nevertheless”

kingdom: legendary war (MC along with tvxq’s changmin)

street woman fighter (MC along with Kang Daniel) 

》 DEBUT DATE: jan 6, 2017 

#BACKGROUND

Hanan was born in San Francisco, California. Only daughter of a successful business woman and his father being CEO of his own company, Hanan would have to move and live in different countries since early age until her parents decided on settling down in New York; there, she would start taking ballet lessons. 

Hanan would always excel in every school assignment, and her former classmates would refer to her as “the triple treat: beautiful, smart and kind.” It’s after a ballet winter showcase that she gets scouted by YG, an agent reaching out to her parents telling them she had potential. Her dad was reluctant to let her go and be a trainee, while her mother told her that she supported whichever decision she made. 

She became a trainee at the beginnings of 2013 under YG. Hana trained for three years under YG, even getting contemplated to debut as a Blackpink member, but ultimately Hanan didn’t make the cut. 

While being a trainee, she also kept practicing ballet.

Months before blackpink’s debut, she parted with YG on good terms and decided on staying in Seoul for a while to try her luck, eventually getting scouted by SM entertainment. 

On january 6 2017, Hanan made her official debut with NCT under the stage name “Hannah”.

#SIGNATURE

[badluvkii]

TAE IS CLEARED FUCK ALL YALL FOR SETTING HIM UP AND NEVER WVEN DEFENDING HIM , honestly i’ve been so depressed and tense these past two days as it’s something that fucks w my morals and also talks about stuff that has severely traumatized me in my childhood , tae is my ult and i’m so happy he’s cleared

honestly without any joke a literal weight feels like it’s been taken off my chest i was irritatable and stressed and sad yesterday bc of the situation and when i read about him being cleared of the situation i LITERALLY got up and celebrated . taeyong means SO much to me and he’s my ult bias , like ULT ULT , like over taemin and hendery which is hard to beat . he means so much to me and always brings happiness to me so seeing this situation severely hurt me and it was lucky i had a calm day at the vets bc i would’ve stressed out so hard . i haven’t stopped smiling since he was cleared and i literally finally feel like i can breathe bc i struggled for breath yesterday

my full view was , before he was cleared i shut down and got rly depressed , i was neutral ab it bc i always had questions of what actually happened , i wanted an explanation before i made decisions . i had a “inocent until proved guilty” mindset about it all but it RLY fucked w me and i stopped watching taeyong content until he was cleared and i took my time up making art , working at the vet and watching movies bc it would make me feel literally physically hurt . i think now everything is done , i love taeyong more bc i feel like i know to cherish him EVEN more . it hurt sm bc my trauma and bpd i think . it also annoys me so much that you put so much care and severely protecting the other idols but with taeyong no one cared and after the others were cleared you didn’t care bc your favs were safe and didn’t care to do more researxh , you prioritised the others and it always annoys me how much ppl unreasonably hate on taeyong , i literally have a section on my bio just got taeyong antis bc i DESPISE you

[asrisgratitudejournal]

Weekend

[Tadinya post ini mau jadi satu post dengan postingan setelah ini, yang “Hati-hati”. Tapi, pas baca lagi, di atas isinya TMI doang, terus yang mau sharing dan yang ada hikmatnya adalah yang di bawah ini, jadi ku-separate yah]

Barusan (Senin) lunch sangat senang bisa bertemu dengan Puspa! Dia kemarin ngajak bingsu awalnya mau Selasa eh tapi kemarin weekend dia dan Mas Luki bikin mi ayam jadi dia mau kasih ke aku. Ketemu-lah kami tadi di Covered market makan mi ayam jawa (YANG SANGAT ENAK HUHU), lalu dilanjut makan bingsu di Endorphins sambil ngobrol ngalor ngidul juga. Mostly bahas orang-tua kita sih. Ternyata memang generasi mama-papa kita itu di mana-mana di Indonesia mikirnya sama ya: yang namanya make living itu ya dengan bekerja tetap, bekerja stabil, menjadi PNS kalau bisa, ya pokoknya punya gaji tetap lah setiap bulan. Which is fair. Karena ya itu kan yang membuat mereka bisa keluar juga dari kesulitan hidup dari yang awalnya Mbah-ku di desa bertani dan menenun, mereka sekolah, dan akhirnya kerja. Anaknya sekarang jadi sudah lulus dari UGM, ITB, bisa ke Oxford pulak PhD pake scholarship. Kurang membanggakan apa. Hasil dari “pekerjaan tetap” mereka ini terlalu real untuk di-deny, jadinya ya mereka merasa “that’s the best way to live your life”. Celakanya, anaknya disekolahin di sekolah bagus dan jadi bisa mikir independently: “I can live the way I want, wong aku punya skill kok yang di-demand di mana-mana” dan gamau settle down. Nb: itulah teman-teman, kalau mau growing sesuatu, jangan terlalu bagus dan besar, nanti bisa kabur yang di-grow itu (ku habis baca meme di twt, inilah cara SM membesarkan artisnya: “to be big, but not too big so they can fight you back” lol).

Terus tapi ya sangat relaxing sih emang ketemu orang dan ngobrol tuh. Bikin kita jadi mikir juga aja. Dan reflect back. Kadang-kadang ku juga malah baru sadar terhadap suatu hal ya dari obrolan itu. Jadi saranku: banyak-banyak ngobrol ges. Akan helpful. Dah gitu aja.

[Ku mulai teks yang sudah ku-ketik sebelumnya ya tentang recap weekend:]

Kemarin setelah ngepos painting selesai itu Jumat kayanya memutuskan untuk di rumah aja deh, lupa tapi ngapain. Terus weekend Sabtu decided untuk keluar rumah akhirnya, setelah nyeleseiin si buku Topokki itu di pagi hari. Bangun juga agak siang sih, kayanya jam 9 atau 10 gitu. Jalan dari Castle Mill ke stasiun to catch a bus buat ke Cowley only to papasan sama Hanif dan Mas Yusuf. Di Seoul Plaza ketemu Mba Rahma yang lagi last day and got ma sambal ABC extra pedas (too spicy for me sayangnya), after dikasih kue bolu pandan juga HUHU sangat baik. Terus dari situ, ku jalan ke JingJing, karena mendapat ide dari informan Mas Rangga bahwa di JingJing ada sambal ABC yang manis pedas. Ku juga dikabarin Dwi later on bahwa she saw me pas lagi jalan ke JingJing, in her words: “Gw ngeliat lu jalan di cowley road kmrin sore with headphone on sambal ngunyah>< we were calling you from across the street but you didn’t hear wkwkwkw”… well, from that description, that sounded like me… Definitely me lol. Kalian kalau tinggal di satu small city (seperti Oxford) denganku akan sangat sering menemukanku in that kinda situation dan semoga tidak marah kalau ku ga dengar karena beneran itu headphone pasti lagi full blasting The Weeknd (sekarang lagi dengerin album Starboy full lagi, sangat bagus). Atau ya Stray Kids, atau Chase Atlantic. OH! Lagi suka banget dengerin Taemin dan NCT juga recently. Kalau lagi beruntung, you’ll catch me while listening to more no-bass, calmer songs of previously mentioned artists, and so I can hear you… but the chances are slim…

Dari JingJing I walked to the city to Blackwell’s karena awalnya mau nyari buku dan kehabisan bacaan di rumah. Nggak sih, masih banyak buku buat dibaca di rumah, tapi pengen aja getting myself a new one, only to figure out BUKU SEKARANG MAHAL BANGET??? Ada buku bagus banget tentang Bahasa terus kayanya karena hardback jadi harganya £25??? Terus gajadi beli apa-apa deh di Blackwell’s. Dari situ ke WHSmith to get a watercolor and acrylic paper pad. Terus ke Ryman buat beli wadah bumbu-bumbu. Cuma £1 lho, lagi ada deal gitu. Terus ke Endorphins to buy a cake + coffee half price, and plannya ya mau have a me-time aja gitu baca buku (ada buku-buku seru di Endorphins lantai 2, mostly uncorrected proof copy gitu, salah satunya adalah si Arrangements in Blue-nya Amy Key yang lagi kubaca sekarang). Eh terus tiba-tiba Hanif nyusul. Ya gapapa sih I don’t mind juga having a friend to talk to. Dari situ kami makan ke Banana Tree, I had the usual Banana Tree Spiced Noodles with Iced Lemon Tea. Dari situ Hanif ada ketemu orang lain and I went to Tesco to get soymilk, flowers, and some other things.

Sampe rumah, my flatmate belum pulang kan, tapi ada teman lain yang ingin mengungsi dulu for sementara waktu. So she came after I reached home. Awalnya mau nonton lanjutan BBC Earth ep 2 yang Snowball di malam Sabtu itu. But si teman yang mengungsi ini does her PhD in VERY DIFFERENT field from mine (she works on social humanity), so we talked. We talked SO MUCH that night. Tapi seru banget sih. I learned SO MANY things. Mostly on how the data on field is VERY DIFFERENT from the numbers that are in the paper, and if your job is to make public policy/regulations and you never go to the field? You are basically fucked. Which makes sense juga kenapa regulasi kita di Indo shitty, ya karena orang yang bikin regulasi bikin asumsinya dari papers aja, nggak based on field data/evidence in the field. Belum lagi kalau regulasi yang dibuat tumpang tindih. Kan ada urutan powernya tuh ya, dari (ini gak urutan karena w lupa and I honestly don’t give a shit) Perpres, UU, Perda, gitu-gitu lah ya.

Terus hari Minggu-nya I already have planned not to go out juga anyway. Akhirnya ngobrol (lagi), kali ini lebih personal kayak ke masalah “udah umur segini kok masih single aja”, terus kayak ke masalah kerjaan: di pemerintahan vs non-pemerintahan, sampai akhirnya ke… berat badan (Ini yang terakhir akan ku bahas di bawah habis ini). Ku tapi sempat juga nonton BBC Earth yang Snowball sih akhirnya Hamdalah. Nonton 1 episod Black Mirror season6 juga yang Mazey Day TERUS ANEHHHH??? Hhhhh. Ku juga jadi download buku baru ngecek di Bodleian ada soft-copy-nya judulnya “The Joy of Science”. Ku udh berhasil baca sampai chapter 3 as of now. Kalau beli, it will cost me £13… Siangnya makan ngabisin daging dan bihun yang dari Aisha… Malam makan nasi dan teri medan dan ikan bumbu asin dari Aceh gitu (boleh buka dari si teman yang mengungsi ini). Jam 7-an my flatmate was back from her trip, BAWA BANYAK MAKANAN JUGA OMG. Terus yaudah lanjut ngobrol lagi sambil nonton Kim’s Convenience. Di ngobrol sesi ini lebih banyak bahas jodoh (lagi), tipe cowok idaman, dan MENGGOSIP! Well, nggak menggosip sih, tapi ngomongin particular person that we knew/have met aja and I was so glad that I am not the only one that doesn’t like this person. Karena emang orangnya aneh aja. Lalu tidur.

[Bersambung ke post berikutnya]

VHL 17:24 18/09/2023

[yuyu-bi]

idk why i chose to reblog kai crying onto this blog but yeah :( he’s enlisting super suddenly bc of some rule that he couldn’t delay his enlisting anymore and it’s literally like on the 11th or smth which is insane to me actually? like he didn’t know and sm def didnt know so it must have been really quick lmao but yeah like it kinda reminds me of like taemin and everything so i hope he doesnt have too hard of a time adjusting since they both literally share one braincell :’( 

it’s also shocking since exo was meant to make a comeback as one soon so i guess he would have gone after that which probs means that sehun isn’t too far behind lmao