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jakethesequel · 2 years ago

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Warning: Really Long Post

If I had to chronologize superhero comic history I think it would be like this:

The Platinum Age, 1896 to 1938

From the first word bubble used, to the first true superhero. Early pulp semi-superheroes like Flash Gordon, the Phantom, Buck Rogers, Hugo Hercules, the Clock, Tarzan, Mandrake the Magician, Sheena Queen of the Jungle.

The Golden Age, 1938 to 1954

From the first appearance of Superman to the establishment of the Comics Code Authority.

Of course, different publishers have slightly different eras, but we're generalizing for the whole industry. Marvel didn't get started until 39, and their Golden Age likely ended when they stopped publishing Captain America after the poorly aged "commie smasher" rebrand also in 54. DC's Golden Age really ended in 53, when they cancelled all but 8 superhero comics, nixing or rebranding the rest.

The Silver Age, 1954 to 1970

The CCA era. By the early 70s, writers start to push back against the code and write about complex issues, and some comics avoid it altogether.

Marvel's Silver Age doesn't get going until late, with Fantastic Four #1 revitalizing the genre. DC gets an earlier start in 1956, rebooting the Flash. Both publishers challenge the Code by publishing drug-related stories in 1971: Green Goblin Reborn and Snowbirds Don't Fly, respectively. (Note for Marvel, the Silver Age begins and ends with Jack Kirby. Respect him.)

The Bronze Age, 1970-1986

I'm going with 86 because that's when The Dark Knight and Watchmen were published. A lot of people point to 84 or 85 as the end, because of Secret Wars and Crisis on Infinite Earths. I disagree, those huge events are the peak of the Bronze Age, not its end. Its end came when people started asking for something more from superhero comics, to really consider what superheroes meant. Everything since has to answer Watchmen: Are superheroes just a corrupt Great Man theory? Do they just serve as propaganda for the powerful? Can superheroes even be a good thing, or are they just an outlet for unaccountable constant violence, constantly fighting criminals but never really changing anything? That, or they copy Frank Miller and say "they're an outlet for unaccountable violence that cannot really change, and that's super fucking cool." Guess which was more popular.

Marvel doesn't really have a Watchmen equivalent. They have a TDKR equivalent in Miller's Daredevil, but Watchmen stands alone. I guess Marvel was a little too busy with the record-breaking success of Claremont's X-Men. You might argue X-Men was such a juggernaut (lol) that it kept Marvel in its own Broze Age (and in good finances) for much longer than the rest of the industry. Claremont stepped away in 91, shortly after X-Men vol 2 #1 set a world record for best-selling single comic issue that remains to this day.

The Dark Age, 1986 to 2008

From Watchmen to the year Nolan's The Dark Knight and Favreau's Iron Man released.

This was a rough period for most mainstream, Big Two heroes in my opinion.

For Superman: Supergirl died in Crisis; his friendship with Batman is uneasy and distrustful where it used to be close; he dies, gets replaced by younger and more modern Supermen, one of which blows up a major city and drives GL Hal Jordan insane; whatever was up with Superman Red/Superman Blue.

For Batman, even taking Miller out of the equation: The Killing Joke has Batgirl permanently disabled, sexual abuse of her and of her father Commissioner Gordon, and depending on your interpretation an implication of Batman killing Joker; Death in the Family has Robin Jason Todd murdered and the Batman literally trying to kill Joker, only stopped by Superman; Knightfall has Batman beaten, physically disabled, depressed, turning to drugs, even replaced as Batman.

Spider-men deals with the symbiote suit making him violent, Venom coming after him, Carnage coming after him, Venom goes off to be an anti-hero (still eating people), Carnage comes after him again in Maximum Carnage, and a bunch of other symbiote bullshit; Kraven's Last Hunt has him beaten so bad Kraven just retires because he won; the messy-ass Clone Saga; Civil War has his identity exposed, Aunt May killed, which culminates in fucking One More Day, need I say more.

Captain America had been going through identity crises for a while, but the 90s took away his super-soldier serum, putting him in that weird fuckin exoskeleton thing; then he did the Heroes Reborn reboot for a while (unfortunately drawn by Rob Liefeld); Bucky comes back as a Manchurian Candidate assassin; then, again, Civil War. He gets off better than a lot of characters honestly. I wonder if that's because as a "man out of time" writers feel less need to reinvent him, since the old fashionedness is part of the charm.

The X-men explode even more, but the writing drops a bit in quality. There were dozens of X-books running in parallel, Wolverine would cross over with everyone and their mother, line-wide crossovers annually, anything and everything that might sell more action figures with excessive pouches and bad anatomy. Thankfully Morrisson's run pulled this back a bit to make a more coherent narrative, though.

Not all of these stories were bad, but they show that the Big Two were desperately trying to reinvent and find new ways to make their characters relevant to audiences. Most of the time it didn't stick with long-established characters. Where you did get gems occasionally was in their sub-imprints like Vertigo, which released some of the absolute best comics of the era, even of all time. I love a lot of the Vertigo stuff lol. I guess MAX is Marvel's equivalent, but it never hit the same highs. Though, imo Punisher MAX is probably the best work on the character, if you can stomach Ennis's habit of including a transmisogynistic stereotype at least once in everything he does.

And it would be remiss to not talk about the proliferation and success of indie imprints in this time. Wildstorm created a whole universe of new superheroes with new ideas who didn't have to be held back by the status quo and years of backstory (though whether they did anyway often fell on the writers). Milestone did the same, and specifically challenged the overwhelming whiteness of comic book heroes. Spawn is competitive with the most successful comics of all time, ranking a little below Captain America, insanely impressive considering it's a comic from the 90s going up against 30 or even 60 year head starts. Disappointly, Wildstorm and Milestone both got sold to DC, but Image remains an important publisher for creator-owned projects, even if McFarlane kinda fucked Niel Gaiman over Miracleman. Marvelman. Whichever. Also they should have recognized Comic Book Workers United willingly.

One last thing: I think the DCAU and the influence of Paul Dini and Bruce Timm had a huge influence on major DC characters being able to hold on to some core traits during a turbulent period. I would put money on people being far more attached to the DCAU from 93-06 than most of the comic runs from the same period. Who's had a longer-lasting impact on Batman media, Azrael or Harley Quinn?

The Film Age, 2008 to present

This one is, admittedly, more controversial, and it's speculative, but I think the influence of the Hollywood box office is the currect defining feature of the industry, at least the Big Two. There have been superhero movies before of course, but not like they are now. Over the 14 years since The Dark Knight and Iron Man, they've gona from being movies inspired by comics, to starting to dictate the comics themselves.

Adam West Batman was goofy, and didn't get taken seriously, even compared to the goofiness of 60s comics. Notably, this is the only DC theatrical release to predate acquisition by Warner Communications, one of the Big Five film corporations.

Donner's Superman is successful, hits 2nd at the box office, gets an Oscar, nominated for 3 more. Superman II hits 3rd. III doesn't hit top ten and is panned, same with IV. Four was produced by Cannon Films so I don't know what they were thinking.

Burton's Batman is also successful, it hits 2nd and gets an Oscar. Returns hits 3rd (although most consider it the best of the series). Forever hit 1st, despite being critically recieved worse than the other two. Batman & Robin was a failure commercially and critically and is seen by many as one of the worst CBMs.

Steel bombed. I mean it was a Shaq star vessel what do you expect. Catwoman also bombed. I think I used to have a popcorn jug with Catwoman on it. Never saw the movie, they must have been trying to get rid of it by giving it to anyone seeing anything.

Constantine wasn't a big sucess but also wasn't trying to be. It's not great as a Constantine adaptation but it has its own merits.

Batman Begins. Now we're getting somewhere. Drawing from Frank Miller's Year One, it provides a darker and more serious take on Batman than 66 or 89. 9th at the box office, very well-recieved. The next year, Frank Miller will announce he's writing a comic where Batman goes to the middle east to murder Al-Qaeda.

Superman Returns is an alternate sequel to Superman II. It hit 9th at the box office and had positive reviews, but was mostly forgotten.

2008. The Dark Knight. First at the box office. Two Oscars. Considered by some (I'll leave my own opinions implied) to be the best CBM of all time. Huge cultural impact, far more so than the comics at the time. Everyone knows "why so serious," only comic readers know who Damian Wayne is. DC film is going to spend the rest of time chasing this grim, gritty (literally, just listen to Bale's voice) interpretation. Miller is clearly the main inspiration for Nolan, so hey, why not adapt our other 1986 genre-changing comic?

Snyder's Watchmen is a disgrace.

Jonah Hex and Green Lantern flop.

The Dark Knight Rises brings back all the Nolan/Bale fanfare. It doesn't quite reach the same peak, and is a little outcompeted by rival Marvel's Avengers, but its still extremely successful and influential. Ask the next 30 year old man you meet if he can do the Bane voice. I don't mean that in a mean way he'll want to do it and it'll be funny to listen to it'll be a good time.

For some godforsaken reason Man of Steel tries to apply the aesthetics and themes of grim, gritty Batman to Superman. 9th in the box office. Mixed reviews, but very strong opinions either direction. This is gonna be the model for further DC film projects. And there are going to be further DC film projects, because they desperately want an interconnected franchise like Marvel is building. (We'll get to them. Don't worry, I won't go over every MCU film lmao.)

There is a lot of weird behind-the-scenes stuff about the DCEU that I won't go into in detail, but we have Batman V Superman to introduce what is more or less a copy of Nolan's Batman, without having to invest in a whole new standalone flick. Suicide Squad tries to bring in all the Joker fans from TDK with an edgy sort of action comedy, but it flops. Wonder Woman adds another character to the prep for Justice League. Aquaman, though not released until later, was already in production in prep for Justice League. They move a little bit away from the general grimness, but they're still noticeably part of the Snyder project. Justice League comes out and it's bad for a lot of reasons. Eventually Snyder gets his director's cut pushed through post-production and it sucks for slightly different reasons.

Since then, only Wonder Woman 1984 and Black Adam I think are the ones that stick closest to the Snyder project, though they're about one step more removed than Wonder Woman and Aquaman were. Shazam, Birds of Prey, The Suicide Squad, and non-DCEU projects like The Batman, and The Joker have a more unique feel to them. Which is probably a good strategy for Warner.

Now this is the more conspiratorial bit. In 2011, DC rebooted their entire line, the whole fictional universe, effectively erasing everything since Crisis in 1986. This is one year before The Dark Knight Rises, and two years before Man of Steel. I think the New 52 was an attempt to bring the tone and status quo of the comics more in line with that of the planned films. They've since retconned the New 52 by bits and pieces because people didn't like it, but I think that's because the original DCEU plan has also been falling apart, so they're doing whatever they can to recuperate both the comics line and the movies. I think they're still aiming to convert movie fans to comic fans, but things are such a mess they're having a hard time. (There's still examples, though: Peacemaker getting a new series to tie in with his TV show, etc)

Ok. Let's talk Marvel. Biggest movie franchise in the world ever. Far more successful at this point than the DC films, despite some major setbacks. But of course it wasn't always this way.

As far as I know the first theatrical Marvel release was Howard the Duck in 1986. It's got duck titties in it.

Blade came out in 1998 and was Marvel's first box office success. Blade II and Trinity were commercially viable, but the reviews got worse with each, and they got overshadowed by Raimi's Spider-Man.

Y2K gives us X-Men, unfortunately directed by Brian Singer, but fortunately written by Solid Snake. It was a bit of a resurgence for the superhero genre that had floundered a bit since Batman & Robin, reaching 8th at the box office that year. They invested in some big acting names, and they had reason to believe it would be a success given X-Men had dominated the comic market significantly over the last 20 years. Also, it was produced by 20th Century Fox. This will be on the test later.

Spider-Man by Sam Raimi (hell yeah) came out in 2002 to massive success. Spider-man as an individual sold about as well as the X-Men as a group. It was number 1 at the box office, the most successful CBM until The Dark Knight. It was produced by Columbia, a Sony subsidiary.

Daredevil (20th Cent Fox) wasn't a success, and neither was spin-off Elektra.

X2 (20th Cent Fox) was 9th at the box office in 03, continuing the success of the franchise.

Hulk came out that same year, to less fanfare. It was produced by Universal.

The Punisher and Punisher War Zone were not particularly successful.

Fantastic Four (20th Cent Fox) came out in 2005 in the shadow of Batman Begins. It wasn't great but I remember watching it as a kid. Its sequel, Rise of the Silver Surfer, was less successful commercially, and the series was cancelled.

X-Men: The Last Stand completed the original film trilogy in 06, hitting 4th at the box office. Though these films aren't perfect, they're generally pretty well-regarded, at least in comparison to their later prequels/sequels/sidequels.

I should note at this point that the X-Men are by fair Marvel's most successful and well-known team, followed by the Fantastic Four. As individuals, only Spider-Man, Captain America, and maybe the Hulk are more well-known and popular. Let's review: The X-Men and Fantastic Four film rights belong to 20th Cent Fox, so long as they continue to produce movies on a regular basis. Spider-Man belongs to Sony with the same caveat. Hulk production rights belonged to Universal, but they gave up on making a sequel, so rights returned to Marvel with Universal retaining distribution rights.

Seeing the major success of X-Men and Spider-Man, Marvel Studios began planning their own film series with the characters they retained the rights to (sort of, there's an argument about how much is owed to the original creators). In 2008 they release Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. Though Incredible Hulk disappoints, Iron Man is the 8th biggest film of the year, with 2 Oscar noms. Of course they get to work on more.

Meanwhile, the Fox X-Men franchise continues with Origins: Wolverine in 09 and First Class in 11.

In 2009, Disney purchases Marvel.

In 2011, the comic book X-Men split in two, dividing characters and storylines between Wolverine and Cyclops, two of the most notable X-Men.

The Avengers comes out in 2012, the most successful film of the year, on the backs of several Marvel Studios solo projects. That same year, Sony reboots Spider-Man to retain the rights.

In a 2012 comic story arc, Spider-Man is killed and his body mind-controlled by Doctor Octopus. In another, the Avengers fight the X-Men, and Professor X dies.

The Wolverine was released in 13, to moderate success.

In 2014, Wolverine was killed off in the comics.

Days of Future Past came out in 14, the 6th biggest movie of the year, ahead of Captain America 2 and Amazing Spider-Man 2.

In 2015, a comic story arc began where mutants were being killed off en masse by a deadly cloud. They also fought with the Inhumans. Cyclops is killed.

That same year, Fox releases Fant4stic Four, to maintain their ownership of the rights.

In 2015, the (admittedly extremely well-writted) series Secret Wars reboots the Marvel Universe, and serves as the end to the Fantastic Four comic, which was cancelled indefinitely.

Deadpool comes out in 16, as does Age of Apocalypse. The former is wildly more successful than the latter.

In 2017, Disney acquires 20th Century Fox, including their Marvel film rights, reducing the number of major film studios from six to five. A nearly 40% market share. That same year, they release Spider-Man Homecoming, reaching a co-production deal with Sony.

In 2019, Kevin Feige of Marvel Studios is promoted, placing him in charge of both Marvel Studios and Marvel Comics.

In some interviews, it becomes clear what the line is for Marvel Comics: they're a test run for the movies, which are what counts. Sure, you can write what you want, but if we can't make it into a movie in a few years, your comic is getting cancelled.

Not a fan of these developments, I won't lie. Seems like its gonna suck for comics as a medium. There are still good stories being told, but it's in spite of corporate meddling, and we'd be better off without it. (And that's not to say anything about the effects on cinema, but thats another story.) I don't want these characters to become cheap imitations, stripped of history and complexity and sometimes contradiction, to appeal to lowest-common-denominator blockbusters you're meant to forget about when you leave the theatre.

If you actually read all that shit PLEASE leave a reply just so I know I didn't write it all for no one

The MCU and comic blockbusters have unironically made comics far worse and more conservative. It's a return to the unchanging status quo and repetition of the Silver Age

#comics

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awpcomics · 3 years ago

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just added to the online shop! my little pony: pony tales vol. 2, screwball squirrel # 3, primordia # 1, Critters #'s 22,39, pre-teen dirty-gene kung-fu kangaroos # 2, miami mice # 2, robotech: the new generation # 17, vengeance of Vampirella vol. 2 #'s 24a,25d, red sonja # 6, purgatori # 5, step by bloody step # 1, pantha #1d, elvira meets vincent price #4a, red sonja valentines 2022, kingjira #1,vampiverse # 6b,6focincentivecover, we live # 3, nocterra # 7,draculina #1c, last book you'll ever read # 5, sheena queen of the jungle # 2b, maniac of new york # 3, emo girl preview book, the horn island trilogy # 1, TMNT # 126b, silence # 1 , & hellboy & the B.R.P.D. 1957 ,

#comics #small press #alternative #online shop #dynamite #image #second sight studios #idw #archaia

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untiltherobinscome · 7 years ago

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Right after I took this, Bub knocked the phone out of my hand and directly into the trash. She's trying to save me from myself. Comics I read today: Red Sonja (Vol. 1) #41, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle #2, Sabretooth and Mystique #2 #untiltherobinscome

#Instagram #Day 9

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comiccrusaders · 6 years ago

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EXPAND YOUR RED SONJA COLLECTION WITH OVER 365 INDIVIDUAL ISSUES AND COLLECTIONS AVAILABLE AT DEEP DISCOUNTS – ONLY 1 DAY LEFT!

Dynamite Entertainment is proud to announce a savage sale on their Red Sonja digital collections and issues from their 13-year run publishing the She-Devil with a Sword. 365 titles to choose from featuring the works of Michael Avon Oeming, Mel Rubi, Gail Simone, Walter Geovani, Mike Carey, Margueite Bennett, Aneke, Victor Gischler, Roberto Castro, Frank Thorne and so many other great creators. The sale is from now until May 17th. You can find all the titles here on ComiXology: https://www.comixology.com/comics-sale?list_id=23814&lang=1&23814_pg=1&cu=0

Red Sonja is a high fantasy sword and sorcery heroine created by Robert E. Howard and adapted for comics by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith. She first appeared in Conan the Barbarian #23 (Marvel Comics) in 1973. Red Sonja has become the archetypical example of the fantasy figure of a fierce and stunningly beautiful female barbarian. The character now appears monthly in her own series, as well as a series of mini-series and one-shots, all published by Dynamite Entertainment.

Thrilling fantasy adventures of the iconic heroine including:

• Altered States: Red Sonja #1: Digital Exclusive Edition • Classic Red Sonja Remastered #1 – 4 • Frank Thorne’s Red Sonja: Art Edition Vol. 1 – 3 • Legenderry: Red Sonja #1 -5: Digital Exclusive Edition • Legends of Red Sonja #1 – 5: Digital Exclusive Edition • Li’l Sonja #1: Digital Exclusive Edition • Pathfinder: Worldscape – Red Sonja • Queen Sonja #1 – 35 • Red Sonja #0 – 18: Digital Exclusive Edition • Red Sonja #100: Digital Exclusive Edition • The Art Of Red Sonja Vol. 1 – 2 • Red Sonja Vol. 1: Queen of Plagues • Red Sonja Vol. 2: The Art of Blood and Fire • Red Sonja Vol. 3: The Forging Of Monsters • Red Sonja: Berserker: Digital Exclusive Edition • Red Sonja: Sanctuary • Red Sonja and Cub: Digital Exclusive Edition • Red Sonja 1973: Digital Exclusive Edition • Red Sonja 35th Anniversary Cover Showcase • Red Sonja Monster Isle • Red Sonja Vol. 3 #1 – 6: Digital Exclusive Edition • Red Sonja: The Falcon Throne • Red Sonja Vol. 4 #0 – 14 • Red Sonja: Worlds Away Vol. 1 • Red Sonja vs. Thulsa Doom • Red Sonja: Atlantis Rises #1 – 4 • Red Sonja: Break The Skin • Red Sonja: One More Day • Red Sonja: Queen Of The Frozen Wastes #1 -4 • Red Sonja: Revenge of the Gods #1 – 5 • Red Sonja: Revenge of the Gods • Red Sonja: She-Devil With a Sword #0 – 80 • Giant-Size Red Sonja: She-Devil With a Sword #1 – 2 • Red Sonja: Sonja Goes East • Red Sonja: The Black Tower • Red Sonja: The Long Walk To Oblivion • Red Sonja: Unchained #1 – 4 • Red Sonja: Vulture’s Circle • Red Sonja: Wrath of the Gods Vol. 1 • Red Sonja/Conan: The Blood of a God • Swords of Sorrow: Red Sonja & Jungle Girl #1 – 3 • The Adventures of Red Sonja #1 – 22 • Witchblade/Red Sonja #1 – 5

And along with the plethora of individual issues, collections, art book and omnibuses, there are also more fantasy adventures with Jungle Girl, Lord of the Jungle, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle and Lord of Mars. This is the epic fantasy digital collection that fans have been waiting for.

Dynamite’s Red Sonja Sale is going on now at comiXology through May 17th at the following link: https://www.comixology.com/comics-sale?list_id=23814&lang=1&23814_pg=1&cu=0

About Dynamite Entertainment:

Dynamite was founded in 2004 and is home to several best-selling properties, including The Boys, The Shadow, Vampirella, Warlord of Mars, Bionic Man, Game of Thrones, SEAL Team Six, and more! In addition to their critically acclaimed titles and best-selling comics, Dynamite works with some of the highest-profile creators in comics and entertainment, including Kevin Smith, Alex Ross, John Cassaday, Garth Ennis, Jae Lee, Gail Simone, Marc Guggenheim, Mike Carey, Jim Krueger, Greg Pak, Brett Matthews, Matt Wagner, and a host of up-and-coming new talent.

RED SONJA TAKES CENTER STAGE AS DYNAMITE ANNOUNCES AN EPIC DIGITAL SALE GOING ON NOW EXPAND YOUR RED SONJA COLLECTION WITH OVER 365 INDIVIDUAL ISSUES AND COLLECTIONS AVAILABLE AT DEEP DISCOUNTS - ONLY 1 DAY LEFT!

#comics #digital #Dynamite #red sonja #sale

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esonetwork · 6 years ago

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'Jungle Queens and Space Rangers' Book Review By Ron Fortier

New Post has been published on https://esopodcast.com/jungle-queens-and-space-rangers-book-review-by-ron-fortier/

'Jungle Queens and Space Rangers' Book Review By Ron Fortier

JUNGLE QUEENS AND SPACE RANGERS The Complete Comic Book Covers Vol 1 Edited and published by Todd Frye

Earlier in the year we had the extreme pleasure of reviewing super pulp & comics fan, Todd Frye’s book “Amazing! Astonishing! Weird Tales! Complete Pulp Magazine Covers Vol 2” and we ranted and raved at how much fun that treasure chest of visual delights truly was. Well, now comes this new huge collection of cover reprints and this time Frye is shining his spotlight on early comics whose theme was jungle queens and space rangers.

He starts the book focusing on three Fiction House titles; Fight Comics, Jumbo Comics and Jungle Comics in dealing with those series that dealt jungle adventures. It is important to note that all three titles where in fact anthologies and aside from their jungle heroes, who often hogged the covers, they also included strips of various genres that offered up fast, action paced yarns to keep young boys turning the pages. Among these pre-war titles that would continue into the early 1950s you’d find the art of such notable artists as Will Eisner, Matt Baker, Geroge Tuska and Jack Kamen.

From its start in Jan 1940, Fight Comics featured a bunch of great, brawling heroes who easily lived up to that title. Each monthly issue offered up the exploits of Shark Brodie, Kayo Kirby and Chip Collins and others of the same mold. The October 1941 issue even introduced a new star-spangled, shield carrying hero named the Super American. By the war years a majority of the book was given over to combat stories featuring American GIs in both Europe and the South Pacific theaters of operation. Then in 1947 Tiger Girl appeared; a blond haired hellcat in a leapord print bikini whose jungle adventures would grace the covers from that point on until the books demise in 1954. Armed with either a knife or spear, Tiger Girl fought every imaginable jungle threat one could envision, from beasts to cannibal tribes, voodoo witch doctors etc.etc. It was heady stuff indeed.

Still, Tiger Girl would take a back seat to yet another jungle beauty with golden tresses, that being Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, whose comic home resided in Jumbo Comics. Appearing on the newsstands in 1938, Jumbo was a whopping anthology book that advertised 64 full pages in color all for a dime. It still boggles the mind. The first eight covers were a hodgepodge of cramped images giving the readers a tease of every single character that appeared in that particular issue. Sheena was most certainly among that gathering but it wouldn’t be until the March 1940 issue that she would grab the full cover spot and from that point on there was no looking back. The ultra sexy Sheena’s covers were dramatic and totally eye-catching. During the titles’ run, she battled monstrous lions, tigers, giant snakes, bizarre bug-creatures and even dinosaurs…while never looking at the least bit unglamorous. We should also note that all these jungle comics existed pre-code and so there was often lots of blood-letting on display. One cover has Sheena repeatedly stabling a gorilla and its chest is smeared with oozing blood.

Sheen would eventually cement her role as a cultural icon when she jump to television on the 1950s and many years later appeared in a full length feature motion picture. It is also interesting to note that the size of Jumbo, by the early 50s was already down to just 52 pages and would shrink even further as time went on.

Of course sexy blonde females weren’t the only larger than life heroes in the jungle comics lore. In Jan. 1940 Fiction House launched the appropriately titled, Jungle Comics and on its very first cover it feature a male Adonis with blond hair named Kaanga, Lord of the Jungle. This yellow haired Tarzan clone would be the book’s main feature throughout its entire life culminating with its final issue, # 163 appearing the summer of 1954. Whereas in this series it was the buffed Kaanga who was the blond, then it seemed natural that his own lovely vine-swinging mate in a leopard bikini sport long raven colored tresses ala Jane Russell. Like the other pre-code titles, violence ran rampant on the covers of Jungle Comics. One has an arrow piercing through the chest of a native warrior as shot by Kaanga in the background as the villain was about to stab the Jungle Lord’s mate. Not for the squeamish and faith of heart were these grand and glorious four color mags.

The second half of this volume is devoted to two of Fiction House’s most popular titles ever. Planet Comics was the first such ever devoted solely to sci-fi and from 1940 through to the winter of 1954, it published some truly amazing covers that are highly sought after by collectors today. Featured where many scantily clad ladies firing ray-blasters at all kinds of alien bug-eyed creatures. Some of the more popular ongoing series features within its pages were Space Rangers, Lost World and Mysta of the Moon. Along with the previously mentioned golden age artists, Planet Comics also showcased the early efforst of the great Murphy Anderson.

And finally, this amazing treasure trove ends with the complete covers of Wings, another Fiction House title that had begun its life as a popular aviation pulp and morphed into a very successful comic. It featured some truly dramatic air-combat scenarios and naturally during the war years, each pitted brave allied pilots against either German or Japanese fliers. Skull Squad was a recurring strip along with Captain Wings and Phantom Falcon. After the war, the antognists battled by these stalwart heroes were mostly Commies. It’s also interesting to point out that during the war years, few females appeared on its covers but after 1946, more and more, in typical “good girl” cheesecake fashion were featured. Obviously with peace time, it was once again okay to ogle a shapely leg, even if the poor lass was falling through the sky at the time.

How Todd Frye manages to find and reproduce these hundreds of wonderful comic book covers is truly a wonder and we fans are the richer for his Herculean efforts. “Jungle Queens and Space Rangers : The Complete Comic Book Covers Vol. 1” should be in every serious collector’s library. Mine now rest on my shelves where we plan to pick it up again and again just to flip through those pages and soak in the fun that was the Golden Age. You will too.

#book review #Jungel Queens and Space Rangers #Pulp Book Review #Ron Fortier #The ESO Network #Todd Frye

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tube-thoughts-blog · 7 years ago

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Vol. 15

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

The Haunted: Stalked By A Vampire *Bumps in the night & an invisible sucker of energy, Animal Planet? Okay, the family had a dog & 2 cats, animal enough for ya? A mom of 5, w/ a husband away at work all the time, projects her somber moods over certain recent life events, like her admitted miscarriages, onto her family. Instead of time spent really trying in the care of mental health experts, paranormal "experts" are called in. The spook investigators sound like they're making a metaphor about this "energy Vampire" continuing to follow this woman around as if they really meant to be saying her mental health problems. Sadly, they're serious only about the supernatural & not this woman or family's mental well being.* 1 star

Jerry Springer: "I'm Happy I Cut Off My Own Legs!" *A middle aged man turned trans-gender woman achieves another lifelong goal when "she," after many hilariously described failed attempts (homemade guillotine), discovers that a power saw is the right tool for the job. On a side note, Caitlyn Jenner is still a former male Olympics track star w/ both "her" legs.* 1 star

The Comfort Zone w/ Ray Comfort: Ken Ham "Aliens Go To Hell" (Live Interview) *The creator of the Creation Museum claims to be saying that he doesn't believe that NASA is complete nonsense, but he suggests that it's a waste of time & money. From the smarmy & unfunny remarks of Ken, Ray, & the other co-hosts/tools it's obvious that they're attempting, & failing, in trying to tie the secular scientific community in w/ hardcore UFO believers.* 1 star

Penn & Teller Bullshit!: Twelve Stepping & Hypnosis *Have a disease? Then get on your knees. Close your eyes, count backwards, & you're cured.* 3 stars

--- Everything Is Terrible:

*M... Kay...: God first, money second, cosmetics third, individuality somewhere after family & a career w/ Mary Kay.* 2 1/2 stars

*Pre-Marital Sex Who Do You Listen To: Listen to the dorky 80s rock band PETRA, some supposed experts in the emerging HIV-AIDS crisis who have an obvious religious bias, & your local Republican congressman & or minister... heck could have been dad's country club golf buddy / spiritual guru of the green. Keep your privates holy & clean.* Decent

*Sheep: "Have you ever had a mountain top experience, girls?" We know that if you listen to this Peggy Hill look-&-act-a-like w/ her own baaaa talk show, you haven't had a female orgasm, because that's not righteous of a lady, baaaaa!* either 1 or 3 stars

*Evolution Is, As Evolution Does: "A dog, a wolf, a coyote, & a banana. Which is not like the others?" I give up. I need further religious instruction to answer this question or parable. Oh, it's not a parable? It's just an attempt to disprove evolution... banana!* Folly! me banana. Daylight come & me still don't know if earth 6 thousand or 6 billion old!

*2 Minute - The Second Coming: End times & a non-believer can't even get a cheeseburger & a medium coke w/out the mark of the beast or ending up like an unfortunate soul in a story by Edgar Allan Poe.* either 1 or 3 stars

----------------------------------------------------

GoodBadFlicks.com : Dead Heat *Treat Williams looks so much like Bill Pullman. Treat Williams makes a great zombie.Treat Williams & Joe Piscopo make a great buddy cop duo. The 80s were probaby the only decade that a great zombie cop buddy action comedy could be made.* 3 stars for the review

--- Siskel & Ebert: The Worst Films of 1984 (aka The Stinkers of 84)

*Always loved the intros for Siskel & Ebert. I'm more familiar w/ the one from my childhood where they meet out in front of the theater looking grumpy while buying newspapers & paying the cabbie. This one is from close to a decade earlier & they're much more cheery fellows as they go about a quirky routine of getting their movie concession snacks.

*Sheena, Queen of the Jungle: Roger thinks that Sheena isn't even a good bad movie w/ inappropriate music for the action scenes "sounds like it belongs in a honeymoon video" & Tanya Roberts not being sexy enough. I like that Roger is thinking like Joe Bob. Yeah, doesn't look great to me. Yep, 80s & before were about the only time a blonde white chick could be seriously considered a jungle queen.* looks like folly

*Rhinestone: Siskel isn't fond of hearing Sylvester Stallone sing bad country music in a popular, at the time, urban cowboy genre disaster. I wouldn't either. Dolly Parton is his co-star & it looks like they had zero chemistry. Could have been the awful dialogue. More weird is that Stallone seemed to be trying a southern accent... ugh...* 1 star

*Bolero: Roger & Gene like Bo Derek better in Tarzan & 10. This is one of those infamous movies that true film fans always hear about & torture themselves with. No thanks. Looks awkward & one of those arthouse flicks that make sex dull.* 1/2 a crushed matador's penis

*Cannonball Run 2: Gene can't appreciate a country wide car race movie that only has a small animated car race at the end. I remember liking these Cannonball Run movies as a kid. Not sure if they still hold up. Probably couldn't stomach so much of Burt's physicalcomedy. Dom Deluise makes me slightly chuckle though.* close to 2 stars

*City Heat: Roger thinks that bad action & bad comedy equals a bad movie. Siskel thinks that the actors slept walked through the making of it. One would think that an Eastwood & Reynolds 1920s or 30s gangster buddy film would have some entertaining value, but it looks like it was played way too tongue in cheek.* 1 star

*Dune: Siskel & Ebert think Dune was squandered potential. Turning out to be dusty in its ugly presentation & confusingly boring. As poorly made as "an old serial like Captain Video." Dune is another divisive infamous movie. I'm not qualified enough to comment on it as I've never gotten around to seeing it. Only David Lynch movie that I haven't.*

*Siskel & Ebert's honorable mentions of 84:

*Friday the 13th, The Final Chapter: "Bad news it won't be the last one." Respectfully, I say, screw you, Gene. Lucky for us 80s kids, he was right.*

More than decent.

*Windy City: "Tearjerker about a guy mostly in love with himself." A forgettable romantic comedy looks like. Every generation of movie goers has hundreds of 'em.* Dull.

*The Woman in Red: "Kelly LeBrock was not on screen enough." - Siskel. Also starring Gene Wilder lusting over her. Can't blame either Gene.* could be fair.

*Where The Boys Are: "Sex & surf replaced by inflatable dolls & sun tan lotion." - Ebert. Sounds like Roger is bitter about being too old & chubby to go to the beach where they were filming 80s sex comedies. Was it a sex comedy?* another could be fair.

*Best Defense: "A stupid military espionage story." starring Dudley Moore & Eddie Murphy .Murphy was already teaming up w/ other actors to make bad comedy movies in 84? I thought Eddie was on fire until some time in the 90s when he started screwing up.* early folly

*Harry & Son: "Painfully contrived" father son movie featuring Paul Newman.* skip, 1/2 star

*Silent Night, Deadly Night: "Crude, mean spirited slasher movie" & not a Holiday classic? What did Gene expect? It's A Wonderful Life? Thank Santa for mean spirited 80s holiday themed slasher movies. Again, this time I'll have to respectfully disagree w/ a generation of movie reviewers my parents' age who just didn't get a certain genre's finer points.* more than decent

Gene promises a feature on Hollywood's hottest new comic. Coming, next week, "The Secret of Bill Murray." Ha. Awesome time period.

Siskel & Ebert are sponsored by: Diet Shasta (generic soda for generic people like Gene & Roger), Pan Am airlines for those who wanna be spread across the Pacific ocean like so much untraceable no rescue debris... Raisinets & Goobers... Glade Smoke Away fordingy smokers who stink & wear dingy colored clothes like Gene & Roger & every other adult in the early 80s...

Roger & Gene separate at the entrance to leaving the theater. Trying to pretend that they don't secretly go to a motel together after the movies.

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Occult Demon Cassette presents "Rock, It's Your Decision" 1982 (Christian Anti-Rock VHS) *It's your decision to surrender to your parents' & youth minister's opinion on devil music. That is unless you, being a dumb teenager wasting precious brain cells on rock & bible school lessons, can find, via religiously biased "research" materials backed up by scripture, a damn good reason to damn your soul to hell with rock music. Bwahahaha! That laugh might have sounded evil. But it came from a wholesome, square & uptight, while at the same time trying to be understanding to teens, youth minister.* folly

Uncharted Zone: I Only Set the Stage - Paul Gormley *Dad rock in dad jean shorts. She devil in red. The pit of hell & horrible green screen amateur music video fx. Also that ole aging rocker cosplay Satan himself.* close to 2 stars

--- Night Flight (1990):

*A jean ensemble wearing 80s teen breaks into the carnival to blast his rock cassette ove rthe audio system & to ride the rollercoaster all by himself. Sony "Take It For A Spin" 2 1/2 stars

*West Michigan's "Kids Film Festival" featuring "Problem Child 1"... "The Jetsons Movie"... Bill Cosby's "Ghost Dad"... "The Jungle Book".. "Back to the Future 3"...* 2 1/2 stars

*"Give 'Em A Brake!" road worker safety ad sponsored by the "Detroit Pistons" & the Michigan Department of Transportation. I don't want to sound like Bill O'Reilly, here, but looking at the short shorts on the early 90s NBA players makes me miss pre-HIP HOP fashions & attitudes NBA. Not a lot of disgusting tattoos either. They actually look like basketball players not "thugs" in baggy pajamas.* more than 2 stars

*Toon Theater - Goodnight Norma... Goodnight Milton: A miserable couple show their very grotesque secret sides when they get home from a night out with "friends" that they despise behind closed doors.* 3 stars

*Night Flight bumper featuring Bela Lugosi & Boris Karlof playing a game of chess.* 3 stars

*"They're young, they're beautiful, & we have their private phone numbers." Call 1 900... Yeah, I seriously doubt beautiful women want their private phone numbers given out to perverts.* more than 2 1/2 stars

*A bald middle aged man is positively thrilled w/ his game show experience on Grand Rapids tv's "The Jokers Wild."* 2 1/2 stars

*A kid sits on his carpet floor playing w/ his firetruck dreaming about one day becoming a fireman. On the 13 inch t.v. starts playing a cheesy jingle "America needs you... America needs me... America the beautiful, we're gonna save the free... So, I'm gonna be the best that I can be because America needs me!" The kid is magically transported onto the back of a firetruck on a fire & rescue mission. He's zapped back to his living room floor w/ a new "America Needs Me!" t-shirt. He gives a thumbs up & says "Drug Free"... Central Michigan Substance Abuse Center... Huh? What the hell did the fireman fantasy have to do with drugs? I'm so confused.* close to 3 stars or 1 star

*Extreme closeups of mouths as they give confessions to the camera "I couldn't help myself" along with pulsating drum & synth music as the off camera industrial fan blows the hotmodel's hair as she holds an ominous red telephone not connected to anything. It's not a wireless phone, it's one of the old school curved chorded phones, so that's why it looks odd to me & I've decided to comment on it & waste words doing so.* 3 stars

*A grandma sits down in the rocking chair, in her shack, to tell a bedtime story to a young child... for some reason, it appears that the tape cuts out & shoots to somethingelse.. not sure if this is part of the story... doesn't seem so... maybe I'm wrong

*"From Outerspace They Came" logo for a 50s sci fi style flick

*Now claymation monsters in a claymation city... looks great

*Guitar solo & the beginning of "Would you take me to Funky Town" cool

*50s sci fi space explorers sit back & prepare to be blasted off into space... I'm ready

*Logo for "Space Monster" where an astronaut encounters a creepy looking humanoid alien who won't stop flicking his tongue.* Weird, thumbs up

*Grandma's back to tell another story... So, I guess beginning w/ the first time we saw her that was the first Night Flight video essay.* 3 stars for that one

*Here begins another Night Flight Video Essay

*1940s looking cartoon screen card for "The Pincussion Man" as Bowie & Queen's "Under Pressure" begins to play.

*It's a happy cartoon planet of balloon animal creatures & explosions

*interspiced into that is a 50s era show or movie featuring a guy being hypnotized to walk funny & then being levetated onto a table.* goes together well.* 3 stars for that essay, unless this is gonna be one big long essay. I'm unclear, so I'm breaking it up.

*Grandma's back for her bit & to start another song w/ selected animation / skits for it

*Witchy cat woman Diana Ross leads a hunk, in a white suit, by the hand through a dreamlike black & white world.* She's into horror makeup like her protege Michael Jackson, I guess

*She's a panther woman but she "don't wanna be eaten alive" even though she's planning on sucking the meat from this guy's bones. Eat me, Diana, Mistress of the Motown Night!

*It sounds like Michael Jackson is singing backup vocals on this song. Sounds good & 80s funky.* More than 2 1/2 stars for that one.

*Grandmas back, once again, & once upon a time... But the Nightflight bumper & announcer lady means that entire series of video essays is over, I'm assuming.*

*Not even 20 minutes into this episode of Night Flight & there's already been more entertainment content value than most modern cable channels, much less their lineup of awful shows, feature all fucking day & night long.* Viva Night Flight

*Spooky as shit ad for a psychic hotline. Most psychic hotlines usually feature white & black trash idiots talking about how it helped their relationships or fortunes. This one is complete X-Files nightmare inducing photoshop of Egyptian images, ghost children, zooming cosmos, skulls, phantom robed creatures, & other ancient religious iconography.* 3 stars

*Promo for the tabloid news journal show "Inside Edition" featuring a story on a cop undercover as a teenager. He gets executed by students. Maybe his very adult mustache was a giveaway. His grieving mom is nothing to laugh at, but Inside Edition is the one doing the exploiting, I'm sure. Probably pretending it's some kind of youth crime epidemic & not some random & odd circumstance act. Ah, there's host Bill O'Reilly. Ha.* 1 star

*Ad for a dirtbike arena racing "Thrills & Chills" home video.* I'll pass. 2 stars

*special preview for "Frankenhooker" coming to vhs home video.* 3 stars

*Comedy Cuts - Mario Joyner: Jokes about how black folks don't try to get a fade by frost bite in the Winter like white folk do w/ their sun tan in the Summer.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Comedy Cuts - Norman Gunston - Roving Reporter: A neurotic Brit raves about some bloodbank conspiracy & then startles random real people on the Hollywood Walk of Fame while asking them for free blood donations. Ha.* close to 3 stars

*Inside Edition promo about Judy Garland's failed comeback tv show. No surprise that this shameless show picks easy targets like dead celebrities. Then, an even more ironic story featuring Bill Cosby talking with teens about sex... Oh, boy....* 1 star

*A morbid "This little piggy" ends in a toe tag for an abused child. In a Child Welfare League of America ad. A grim time period involving child abuse.*

2 stars

*Feature on the resurgence of 70s shock rocker Alice Cooper.* 2 1/2 stars

*Night Flight makes use of their vault of movie & cartoon clips for some horse riding, cowboy, wild indian, kung fu, arabian knight horseback tricks action in a faux ad for "Billy Jo Bob's Riding Academy" "2 Miles Past Bucky's Gunshop"* cool close to 3 stars

*Tuxedo wearing James Stacy holds up a Dirty Harry sized handgun & then says that drunk drivers do more damage. "It could cost you an arm & a leg." He then reveals to be missing both his arm & leg. Heavy, but I'm not sure which statistic is higher for U.S. deaths.* close to 2 1/2 stars. They really don't know how to do effective, startling public service announcements, like this one, anymore.

*Bela Lugosi in "The Phantom Creeps": "Mad Genius Running Wild" the papers say as Bela creates things like a giant killer robot, super villain invisibility, & bombs that can be tossed like firecrackers.* 2 1/2 stars

*Painter Paul Collins shows off his artwork from time spent on a Native American Indian reservation & he calls them an "endangered species" in an ad for the Michigan Indian Child Welfare Agency.* 2 1/2 stars

*The silhoutte of an 80s chick & the breathy words "fantasy phone" must have been enough to get phone sex horny losers to "finish" after the chick tells them "I'll start & yo ufinish." 5 dollars for the first minute. They want their 5 bucks first because they know that you'll finish in under a minute if you're desperate enough to call one of these numbers. Just a "hot" girl speaking to you at all is enough to reach climax.* 2 stars

*Rocky Horror Picture Show - Timewarp: Might have seemed lazy to toss this classic into the late night variety, but it hadn't been done to death by this point or ruined by the awful people involved with the musical show "Glee."*

2 1/2 stars

*The Fleshtones - I Was a Teenage Zombie: Would make a great B-side to "Surfin' Dead" plus the movie clips look decent as well.* close to 3 stars

*Yazoo - Don't Go: Don't remember the video for this being so horror inspired.* Decent

*Sheena Easton - Telephone: All the classic Universal monsters plus a disembodied hand are after Sheena. Can't say that I blame them after she tempted all w/ her "Sugar Walls"* 2 1/2 stars

*Comedy Cuts - Colin Quinn: He pokes fun at growing up Irish-Catholic dealing w/ cop relatives & touchy priests.* close to 3 stars

*Louis Armstrong's "Wonderful World" set to video of kung fu cinematic action.* 3 stars

*Rudy Vallee in The Musical Doctor: A singing emergency room where a "Step & fetch it" black stereotype is seeking treatment. The doc prescribes him the smooth sounds of inter-spliced clips of Sting from The Police (huh? ha!). He's black, so he'll also need a dose of interspliced Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You."* either 1 or 3 stars

*Old old Hollywood clips of beautiful ladies doing some synchronized swimming dances while the Night Flight voice over lady pokes fun at Dr. Vallee's techniques.* 3 stars

*Dr. Vallee has another crazy patient. This one has hammer toe "Stop Hammertime" w/ the MC himself spliced in. No kidding.* 2 1/2 stars

*Another patient is suffering from lack of music, so he gets some Dionne Warwick "That's What Friends Are For" followed by Biz Markie's "Just a Friend" R & B from "Babyface"... blues from some of the masters... more MC Hammer "Can't Touch This"... my my my my.... "Bel Biv Devoe" for dessert...* 2 1/2 stars early Obamacare

*Cultural tv game show featuring everything from President Ike to President Reagan from James Dean to Disco. Hot pants to the VCR. "Tic Tac Dough."* close to 3 stars

*Not ready for tv women in an ad for the Displaced Homemaker Program. This is exactly why women need not to be homemakers or second class citizens. I'm no liberal or femi-nazi controlled thinker, but seeing these poor women's lives ruined after divorce or becoming a widow is just sad & a product of our failure as a society.* 2 stars

*Pretentious Bono in a cowboy hat during one of U2's concert tours from the 80s. One where they're filming it in black & white. He's trying to get art street cred by having blues legend B.B. King join U2 on stage.* 2 stars

*B.B. King - I Need Some Help: performed on what looks like Austin City Limits. This time w/out Bono to ruin the performance.* 2 1/2 stars

*B.B. King - Lucille: Steve Martin, Dan Akroyd, the lovely Michelle Pfeiffer, & Eddie Murphy join B.B. for a quirky video.* close to 3 stars

*Robert Cray - Right Next Door: Rather subdued, sitting alone in an artsy room w/ flowing curtain window w/ bare minimum light shining through it, guitar solo video.* 2 1/2 stars

*Robert Cray - Nothing But a Woman: This video has Cray singing & 80s cartoon graphic sinterspliced w/ Cray & the band video fx. 80s MTV & Monty Python esque* 2 1/2 stars

*Albert Collins - The Trouble W/ Money: This looks like a 70s era performance on something like The Midnight Special. Collins is a haggard looking old school black dude who plays his guitar like he's making love to a woman.*

close to 3 stars

*Renee Taylor's "2" (1967 short comedy film): Parody of pretentious Eye-Talian cinema & modern people's pretentious self loathing in love affairs.*

close to 3 stars

*"Big Cheese & the Food Groupies" California Raisins style animated wholesome snack PSA w/ the characters singing in the fridge for some happy kids.* 2 1/2 weird stars

*Night Flight's Sci Fi Monsters video essay:

*Oingo Boingo - Weird Science: Interspliced w/ old clips of early 20th century films like "A Voyage to the Moon" or whatever it's called.* more than decent

*"We Have the Technology" interspliced w/ the electrocution scene from the 50s classic "Thing from Another World."* close to terrific

*The theme from Doctor Who interspliced w/ Doctor Who style robots & a stadium rock anthem by TimeLords.* 3 stars

*Kate Bush is a spooky banshee in "Experiment 4".* 3 stars

*"Ladies & gentleman, Elvis 1990" a Billy Idol look-a-like spliced w/ scenes of cyberpunk dystopias & Godzilla.* close to 3 stars

*Now a true Elvis look-a-like in outerspace singing "Video Babe" while flying saucers destroy Washington monuments.* 3 stars

*Herbie Hancock's 80s synthesizer classic spliced w/ scenes of early 20th century movie magic explorers encountering dangerous tribe people of the moon.* 2 1/2 stars

*Fishbone? in a weird sci video that ends in a nuclear explosion.*

could be terrific

*Night Flight's Never Coming Attractions:

*GI's go rocket riding in "Invasion of the Star Creatures": Super tall & sexy vixens from the stars encounter some dopey & short in stature army privates who they seduce & unleash kooky monsters upon.*

3 stars, I'd watch it, looks cheesy good.

*"Space Monster": 50s sci fi space adventure where the spaceships & planets are held up by string & the stars are holes pocked in a black canvas w/ light shining through. The alien monster is a humanoid w/ a large head, big ears, & a flickering tongue.* 2 1/2 stars

*Della's Diner, a West Michigan theater presentation of a kitschy diner complete w/ big haired waitresses & eccentric patrons. All presented by the local Grand Rapids tv station.* 2 1/2 stars

*Another "America Needs Me Drug Free" PSA featuring this time a black kid who wants to grow up to be like his black hero fighter pilot. He only got a t-shirt, no ride on the jet like the boy on the firetruck. I guess the Air Force said no. Darn. Do drugs!* 2 stars

*Night Flight's toon theater:

*Mouseferatu: Very well animated & sort of risque. When Mousey finds his intended victim, she's a very sexy pussycat sleeping in the nude. & despite all his rage, he's still just a rat in a cage when daylight comes to turn him to bones.* 3 stars

*Retro black & white clip of some ranch cows & a bull singing a country & western diddy.* 3 stars

*Promo for "Ghoulies 2" on Grand Rapids TV 8.* 3 stars

Following Night Flight on TV 8 is the syndicated cult classic "Dynaman" mock dubbed in English & parodying the already super-weird Japanese Power Rangers pre-cursor.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Dog Police" *A nerd rock 80s weirdo band's lead singer takes his werewolf date to the night club where the trench coat "Untouchables" look-a-like "Dog Police" bust her for bestiality?* 3 stars

James Randi Debates Two Mediums & Psychiatrist Brian Weiss *Gay mustache & spirit aficionado James Van Praagh along w/ 20 questions for 20,000 gullible people champion John Edward bring a hack psychiatrist & author of a book about past lives to a debate w/ admitted cynic Randi. Which leads to Randi face palming & taking the whole thing about as serious as one would imagine. CNBC's half zombie half talk show host Charles Grodin seems to be hopeful about the psychic claims.* 1 star

Penn & Teller Bullshit!: Feng Shui & Bottled Water *A refreshing arrangement sold at a bullshit price.* 3 stars

--- DinosaurDracula.com presents Creepy Commercials Countdown:

*ABC TGIF Monster Bash Weekend (1993): The Olsen twins host the Halloween edition of TGIF. When you're 11, you're definitely uncool enough to watch ABC on a Friday night. I still am uncool enough. Family Matters was the Breaking Bad of its era. Boy Meets World never appealed to me. Step By Step was okay. I remember most about it having the guy from the Kickboxer sequel. Hangin' With Mr. Cooper is lame when you think back on it, but it worked for the time. A "cool" middle school or junior high teacher who was down w/ the kids & played basketball. However, nothing about this particular promo is spooky or creepy enough. The 80s would have tried harder w/ the scary theme than the 90s seemed to.* 2 stars

*Real Ghostbusters Super Weapons (1990): Some kids take their awesome Nerf officially licensed Real Ghostbusters toy weapons of minor destruction & chase the poor dog around their spooky dark house. That's what I call fun animal abuse. *wink* 3 stars

*Predator 2 (1990) Movie Promo: I love the narrator's voice describing all of Predator's high tech weapons. Similar sounding voices noted all the high tech features of new cars at the time. It slipped my mind that Bill Paxton is in this movie. Of course everyone who has seen it will remember Danny Glover's manic, awesome performance, or Gary Busey being in it before he went completely off the deep end of eccentricity. But Bill Paxton was in both the Alien & the Predator sequels. That's cool.* 3 stars

*Coca-Cola Classic 'Dracula' (1992): A Bela Lugosi impersonator, in a striking visually black & white castle setting, scares a blonde victim from her sleep. Instead of putting up a cross, in defense, it's a juicy red Coca-Cola can. I guess Dracula's blood sugar was low, because he goes from pale to plump tan in seconds. He bites into the can sideways & slurps the syrupy soda. What coke addict hasn't imagined something similar? The ad end sbadly, however, as it approaches Twilight sparkly "vampire" territory when the spooky couple walk out the door into an animated Disney daytime cartoon scene complete w/ chirping love birds.* either 1 or 3 stars

*Highland Superstores 'Phantom of the Opera' (1989): The organ music from "The Phantom" is still unsettling after around a 100 years of it being in our nightmares. Dinosaur Dracula mentioned this, in his article, & it's true, "appliance stores are dreadfully dull." In the 80s, during the era of dull parents & dingy colors on everything including off white & putrid yellow fridges, microwaves, washers & dryers, & dishwashers. Some were even the same green color of The Creature from the Black Lagoon's bowel movements. If I were "The Phantom" I wouldn't dwell at Highland Superstores. If I were a disgruntled former manager of an appliance store, I wouldn't. Hell would seem happier.* 2 1/2 stars

----------------------------------------

Beavis & Butthead: Plasmatics - The Damned *"Explosions... half naked chicks. This video has something for everyone."*

3 plus stars w/ riffing 3 stars w/out

--- TV Carnage:

*Straight Body Builder Bio #1: "When in Rome do as the Romans do." The Romans did gay stuff in Rome. In Southern California, this feminine Rick James, on roids, can make delicious ancient Chinese herbal tea, draw comics of other buff fantasy masculine heroic figures, strum his string instrument, & play w/ his pooch on the beach.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Tell Me About It: The reporting from the red carpet premier of Legally Blonde is as dumb & inspid as imagined.* zero stars

*The Hump Day Return of Aids!: "Real men don't talk to their women about sex." Laughs. Huh. Huh. Starts humping potentially aids infected partner.*

2 1/2 stars

*Tom Arnold Stars In Long Lost Porn: Didn't know Tom was so patient & considerate to the half naked chicks he lets ride on the back of his Harley Davidson.* 2 1/2 stars

--------------------------------

"The Last Dragon" (1985) *A midnight movie happening inside another midnight movie featuring kids from Soul Train. Also feels like Motown is making fun of MTV's Cindy Lauper & Madonna.* 3 stars

"Shotgun" (1989) *A buddy cop Lethal Weapon wannabe that's almost as awkward as Samurai Cop. There's a plot about a sicko torturing & killing hookers that's similar to Wings Hauser's "Vice Squad. "Then a finale that's a revenge gunfight south of the border that recalls 70s grindhouse classic "Rolling Thunder" but is more over the top like a Rambo sequel.* between 2 & 2 1/2

Cannon Films "Hospital Massacre" (1981) *Creepy fact: if you ever walk into a room & see someone crawling out a window, looking back w/ a devious smile on their face, know something horrible has happened in the room. Our scream queen, the gorgeous Barbi Benton, doesn't even realize she's being stalked by a slasher for over an hour of the movie. She thinks she's just being inconvenience by hospital procedure red tape & a screwed up test result. However, the kills are bloody good, the atmosphere is spooky, & there's even some black comedy.*

more than 2 1/2 stars or plus

"Video Wasteland Combilation" *Twinkle Twat, feminine deoderant spray. Baby upchuck doll. Punk singer w/ dry heaves. Way USA starring Tesco Vee. Aeon Flux. Tim Allen as Docu-Comic. Dawn of the Night of the Dead - The Musical. John Waters & Divine. West Germany Air Show Disaster. Vincent Price on the 64,000 Dollar Question. LSD-25. This Is Elvis's Birthday '92.* 2 1/2 stars

SCTV Monster Chiller Horror Theatre w/ Count Floyd: The House of Cats *Bored housecats "jumping" at the screen in 3D. Well, at least Count Floyd promises so. John Candy drugs women & turns them into his personal pussycats until they rebel or at least he has to act like they're clawing him, when they couldn't be bothered to even paw.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Brass Eye: Sex *Bad aids vs. good aids, the mucking about homosexual scandal of her majesty's royal navy ,the debasement of an American politician, an asexual man up a pole watching pornography, beating off assailants, Peter Stringfellow, & a giant whore on the loose.* 3 stars

=== Geraldo Rivera: Hate Mongers (1988)

*Skinhead smackdown smashes Geraldo in the schnoz.* 1 infamous star (not of David)

[Note: Geraldo has always loved pouring fuel onto a fire. Not for justly reasons, either. Here it would appear so, to the people of the time period, but fast forward to today & Geraldo is standing among "Black Lives Matter" protestors & telling them that racism no longer exists in America.

Geraldo: race baiter, troublemaker, & obvious fraudulent media manipulator of any era he's in.]

(edit, years later:

I still think Geraldo is a douche, but I've woken up how much of an idiot I was for kind of casually being apathetic to & half way supporting groups like "Black Lives Matter."

I think most everyone has if they don't have "tribal" interests or are a "race blind" moron who'll be dragged into the streets while trying to high five a "friend" of color during a riot or "peaceful" protest someday & be treated to a beating similar to the one Reginald Denny received on CNN in LA in 92 after the Rodney King verdict?)

================================================================================

Mysteries From Beyond the Other Dominion w/ Franklin Ruehl *Eerie coincidences between the Kennedy & Lincoln assassinations. I like the true nerdiness of this early Sci-Fi Channel show. If it were a part of a nerd culture channel or website, today, it would have faux nerd hipsters ironically doing it & not the earnest weirdness of Ruehl & company.* 3 stars

--- Found Footage Fest:

*Special Delivery: "The bitch, the bitch, the bitch," the female dog is having puppies.* 2 1/2 stars

*Something Big: "The first nude pop video" might "offend" as it warns, but the mostly tasteful nude images of big breasted women aren't as obscene as the Euro-sleaze leadsinger's crooning & 70s porno mustache.* 2 1/2 stars

*The Appointment... With Death: You'll never see Hawaii, if you keep smartin' off to the monotone voiced angel of death premonitions.* either 1 or 3 stars

*I'm A Spoon: Women of all body types used to search for that perfect fit, but eventually gave up to the potato sack look of sweatpants w/ sassy slogans on the ass.* 2 stars

*I Gotta Go!: When you get that feeling way down below. A sanitized version of the uh oh diarrhea song from Steve Martin's Parent Trap. There's no Barney the Dinosaur to help the toddlers & kids sing along & poop, but there's a chimp taking a shit (for giggles).* 3turds

----------------------------------

Grandpa Munster's SuperScarySaturday on TBS Superstation: King Kong vs. Godzilla the Debate *Since neither monster can talk, pro wrestling personalities, of the 80s, are doing the cheerleading. Motormouth evangelist look-a-like, w/ a tennis racket, Jim Cornette, preaches for Godzilla, says that his monster is younger than the "dying of old age" King Kong, and he can breathe fire. Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie wannabe Michael P.S. Hayes, standing up for his hairy hero, boasts that Kong can swat planes while still holding onto a babe. I call it a tie. So, would any other fan of both monsters.* 3 stars

--- Occult Demon Cassette Presents: "Exposing the Satanic Web" 1990 (Satanic Panic VHS)

*Yesterday Satanism, today radical Islam, tomorrow extraterrestrial orgasms?

Who knows what the future holds, but the religious right will most likely be there to spread their brand of disinformation.

People really couldn't tell that the crayon drawings of occult rituals were done by adults w/ agendas?

Motley Crue images pop up constantly in these old scare films.

Motley Crue obviously weren't a threat to America's teenagers. They're now bloated white trash rock has-beens trying to get their near elderly groupies to still flash their saggy tits!

Those women didn't end up sacrifices of the devil. They probably had about five dirty young'uns that never got sacrificed either, 'cause Satanic Panic was just that panic that meant nothing.

Nerdy teens who played Dungeons & Dragons didn't role play murder half the parent population in the U.S. No, they're still harmless adult nerds.

The reformed high-priest of Satanism turned Christian now confessing his former dark powers & deeds.

Is it okay that he claims to have committed horrible acts because he's asked for forgiveness from God?

Shouldn't he be in jail? That's proof that he's full of shit. That all of the scare-mongers of these videos are full of shit, & have taken a simple fantasy game, a rebellious youth music that they don't enjoy or understand, & victimless boredom in juvenile property crime through graffiti & tried to turn it into a scare tactic tool to push people fearfully into the arms of the major cult in America, the Christian religions.

Satan obviously wasn't as savvy as these evangelicals who still have the ear of their cult, after all these years, while Motley Crue & Freddy Krueger are no longer being fed virgins at the altar of willing black magic fiends & disturbed teenagers.*

(edit, years later:

Man listen to me. Full on liberal apathy & cynicism disguised as trying to be clever.

I still slightly chuckle at the hysteria of the 80s Satanic Panic.

but to believe Islam isn't an obvious threat to the west is to be in denial or downright actually evil... no hysteria. but truth.

the type of person I was then would rather ignore the truth, & claim it was islamophobia delusion while looking at hipster blogs like dangerousmindsdotnet for the latestdug up piece of pop culture from a bygone era to be mocked

then getting my "news" from the Daily Show w/ it's highly cut & edited slant leaning the views towards an agenda while claiming bias everywhere else & only everwhere else...

I can't say I ever saw any metal heads hold a Satanic animal sacrifice orgy, but I have seen real life footage of hordes of muslims flooding Europe & the after effects in the news

hard evidence of rapes, terrorist bombings / shootings / stabbings / hackings / huge vehicle homicide of dozens / beheadings / literal fucking jihad...

not scaremongering, you blind hipster dope (me, several years ago) but all out war on the civilization that once provided your shits & giggles & safety shelter to enjoy them in w/out getting gutted for being an infidel)

1 star

=======================================================

People Are Talking w/ Tom Bergeron: James Randi Debunks Faith Healer (youtube) *Tom Bergeron sits looking at clips of extremely funny faith healings. One in particular where a fake had played the role of both a crippled man & a woman w/ bad ovaries. This could be America's Funniest Home videos, but sadly Randi points out that the placebo effect of these dramatically staged acts do harm when the believers don't seek real medical help from actual doctors instead of faith healers.* 3 stars

City Confidential: Rock Springs, Deadly Shootout in the Wild West *"Cowboy Caligula."* more than 2 1/2 stars

Viper: Past Tense *Amnesia love affairs, brainwashed agents of assassination, & chance collisions of the heavens. Plays like something noir that would be in Frank Miller's Sin City.* close to 3

Forever Knight: Cherry Blossoms *Vampire detective versus Chinese mafia seeking to slay a wounded witness. Wrongly accused vampire versus elderly Chinese acupuncturist seeking revenge against the vampire who slayed his mother 60 years before.*

between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

The Greatest American Hero: The Best Desk Scenario *Fumbling the ball near the endzone or too many cooks trying to read the anarchist's cookbook.* 2 1/2 stars

Look Around You: Computers *In Bournesmouth, one can bibble or bobble if they're beardless or bearded, but not if they're brandishing a petticoat (female).* close to 3 stars

The Prisoner: Hammer Into Anvil *Creates an unhinged melody.* 3 stars

Farscape: Bone To Be Wild *The old routine of one "submarine" silently hiding from another's radar. Deepspace Donner Party bone eater massacre. Johnny Appleseed "Frankenstein's Monster" look-a-like or Swamp Thing stranded on an asteroid. Our hero Crichton needs to be sensitive to "plant phobia." The spiritual blue alien lady Zan (Xan?) is actually a sentient plant. Captain Ahab under scrutiny. Babysitting a weaponized junior Leviathan (a Death Star in a diaper).* 3 stars

---- Night Visions w/ Henry Rollins:

The Passenger List: A little twilight zone twist & a lot of 9-11 era zeitgeist of airline tragedy grief.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

The Bokor: Bayou medical school morphine junkies, grotesque medical cadaver, & a voodoo curse.* more than 2 1/2 stars

Rollins: Puts on a stale attempt at Rod Serling.* between 1 1/2 & 2 stars

------------------------------------

Uncharted Zone: Fifty Dollar Boots - Johnny Fire *50 dollar budget quality black & white video for a rockabilly crooner & his 50 dollar boot wearing chick guitar player.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Beavis & Butthead: Jennifer Tryin - Happier *Gen X drug store despair, Beavis taking diarrhea medicine & pooping a brick that he keeps in his sock drawer, & Butthead wanting to live in denial that he ever heard Beavis talk about it.* 3 stars w/ riffing close to 2 1/2 stars w/out

Justified: Season 1 Episode 6 *"There's more than smart" & there's more than art. Especially Adolf Hitler's shitty art. It's a nebulous or abstract concept.* close to 3 stars

True Detective: Haunted Houses *Still life. Nearer to silence (unholy ghosts) than God.* 3 stars

Hannibal: Trou Normand *Losing time opening doors, unearthing graves, & making monuments to the desecrated.* 3 stars

Penn & Teller Bullshit!: Talking to the Dead & ESP *Party tricks & charades for suckers & the sad.* 3 stars

James Randi's Fiery Takedown of a Psychic Fraud *An admitted wizard takes a lethal overdose of homeopathic medicine to prove a cruel farce.* more than 2 1/2 stars

Ripley's Believe It Or Not! w/ Jack Palance: Episode 3 (1985) *Giant 1980s supercomputers are used to photoshop the Tibetan god-king out of Shangri La, like an impractical automotive 5th wheel or discarded apple peel (peeled by an Edison style mass industrial invention), & placed, by 2001 Hal's robo-cousin, out into the sun to purify like a baby orangutan or an eskimo mummy. Also pre-CitySlickers Curly's gold* 2 Fair

Fargo: Buridan's Ass *Breach in a white out or bludgeoned like fish out of water.* 3 stars

"XTRO" (1983) *A deeply disturbed British schoolboy's estranged daddy returns from his absentee fatherhood vacation on H.R. Geiger's homeworld after traumatizing the boy w/ his "Fire in the Sky" style abrupt bon voyage goodbye. Often tonally too whimsical to be taken seriously, while at other times being astonishingly creepy.* between 2 & 2 1/2 stars or more

Tales from the Crypt: The Reluctant Vampire *Mr. Longtooth (Malcom McDowell) isn't a glamourous Dracula. He's a cowardly nightwatchman at a failing blood bank. Can he win the heart of his mousey love interest, at the blood bank, w/out biting her neck? Will he find the courage to stand up to his bully of a boss (Cheers' George Wendt) or will he fall prey to a weird looking Van Helsing?* Decent

"Saturday Night Dead" KYW-TV 3 Philadelphia (February 1, 1986) *"The maddening minx of movie-dom" Stella, a redheaded Rhonda Shear look-a-like glamour doll, traipses around her ghoulish horror set kiddingly admitting to bedding, on her monster talking bed, the Philadelphia Eagles football team. She is in dire need of a butler & wants him to be as hunky as Sylvester Stallone's Rambo. Looks like Philly had a pretty decent version of Elvira or Rhonda. Not bad.* 2 1/2 stars

--- Monstervision w/ Joe Bob Briggs: Waxwork

*Drive-In Totals: 43 dead bodies.... 0 nekkid breasts (sorry).. 1 Live severed hand.. .African Voodoo Face Painting.. French S & M.. Fang Sprouting.. Bat Shooting.. Raw Meat Gobbling.. Sword Fighting.. Strangling.. Stabbing.. Head Butting.. Ax to the Back... Death by Fire.. Gratuitous Dialogue w/ Loud Music.. Werewolf Fu.. Vampire Fu.. Mummy Fu.. Zombie Fu.. Senior Citizen Fu..

*Joe Bob says this isn't a haunted house movie, it's a "nasty" house movie, like his grandma would always say, "That's nasty!"

*Burt Reynolds for Liz Taylor perfume (Ladies, don't wear anything that gives Burt a smell boner).

*Songs 4 Life Christian mix CD (90s, the era that bland white people safe religious music w/out any gospel soul or passion reared its dorky head).

*CNN has Bill Clinton's sworn testimony in the shadow of impeachment (ah, the Lewinsky era, we survived that.).

*Rent Matthew MuhConUhHey! & Skeet Ulrich, tonight! (not male escorts. a shitty VhS tape of the movie "Newton Boys").

*Pure Reggae mix cd 1-800 ad (A island jam collection featuring the theme to Cops "Bad Boys" plus Apache Indian's "Boom Shakalak"... pass the herb & turn it up, mon!).

*Joe Bob's Jailbreak w/ Reno the Mail Girl: Talk of Joe Bob's jealousy because Reno might have dated / made love to a midget instead of Joe Bob & also Reno gets a love poem from a jailbird in a Mojave prison unit in Arizona.*

*Carpenters Love Songs mix cd ad. Being a kid in the 80s & 90s, & not an adult in the 70s, I only had vague knowledge of who Karen Carpenter was & that she had died tragically young. Anytime, I would see these ads w/ their hazy cloud aesthetics along w/ faded quality videos of Karen singing her mostly melancholy songs, I would get the creeps.*

*Waxwork: Remember 2011's "Cabin in the Woods"?... Well, Joss Whedon's "genius" turning of a monster/slasher movie conventions on its head script wasn't that original. In the 80s, somebody else did it first. This monster mayhem flick, featuring almost every creature & horror character known, is set in a wax museum instead of a cabin in the woods. Starring the teenage boys from Gremlins & Twin Peaks plus Return of the Living Dead 2 along with their 80s valley girl girlfriends. The main villain is legendary not so good movie & tv show actor David Warner (the movies/shows not being so good. Warner is always great).*

between 2 & 2 1/2 stars for Waxwork, more than 2 1/2 for Joe Bob, & close to 2 for the ads

----------------------------------------------------

TNT 100% Weird: The Twonky *"Whenever I think of women, I think of French fried potatoes." A very nervous man's wife leaves town, gifting him his first television set to keep him company. This is when tv's were brand new & confusing to man. It didn't help that this particular tv was unlike any other in that it could work the magic of a genie or a futuristic robot.* close to 3 stars

Wizards & Warriors: The Dungeon of Death *"Badgers, we don't need no stinkin' badgers." What we got is a ragtag rescue squad of a Renaissance fair Clint Eastwood type, a carnival strong man, a high wire walking hottie, & one of the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. Trouble is there's a mole.* close to 3 stars

--- Sci Fi Channel (1993) Feature Film: The Clone Master

*A pair of alien hands find a time capsule buried in the sand. The date says 1993. Inside is a bottle of head & shoulders. Our great legacy, dandruff shampoo...

*95 cents a minute hotline to find out what's coming up on the Sci Fi channel's schedule? Wow, wouldn't a 99 cent, one time purchase, TV Guide not suffice? That's phone sex level of horny to know when the next episode of the original Star Trek is airing.

*Sci Fi had great station bumpers. I'll try to describe this one... it has a picturesque set lakehouse w/ the phone off the receiver "hello, are you there?" & geese flying against a newly alien earth skyline featuring a ring planet between earth & the moon.

*Extremely nerdy voice over "Emmy Award winning Battlestar Galactica, weeknights."

*Beatles Live 1964 in London for the first time on VHS or BETA

*Curly haired cute model "All those holes. All that protection." Science strikes again. Always Maxi Pads w/ new technology. New as in holes. I have a hole in my soul from all the sanitary napkin girly confessional commercials that I've had to endure all my life.

*A generic couple enjoy a generic romantic evening over generic pasta & generic white wine while listening to "Easy 70's" a generic mix cd of 70s soft rock like Crystal Gale & Kenny Loggins among others. He leaves w/out sex. Because this type of music makes one sterile.

*Vintage ad for Craftmatic adjustable beds. The old couple is giddy to talk to their over the phone Craftmatic salesperson. I'm giddy too for my memories of these ads. though the actual beds were usually in the homes of some sick acquaintance of my parents&grandparents

*"Never miss another favorite program." VCR Voice, the voice operated vcr remote control. Pssss... VCR Voice... record Skinemax & those early morning workout shows w/ the ladies in spandex....

*Smokey the Bear is talked about by a kid who makes him seem almost mythical. Maybe in 3,000 years, when our culture is long forgotten & misunderstood, they'll find something about Smokey the Bear & wonder what the fuck was up w/ us having a cartoon bear to warn humans about forest fire safety & natural resource preservation responsibility.

*"Can dinosaur cloning really happen? The truth behind the fiction." A Sci Fi special on Jurassic Park. It can & did, but tune in to Alex Jones InFoWars or Jesse Ventura's new show on Glen Beck's Blaze channel to find out.

*"Dark Shadows" weekdays on Sci Fi. Now, that's a weekday soap opera that I would sink my teeth in to. Someone get me my Bon Bons & my Moo Moo...

*1 800 ad for Sci Fi Classic home video's "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy."

*Back on earth, Frankie Valli & the 4 Seasons on every music listening format known to man. That's as advanced as we are....

*Speaking of identical twins & cloning... Elvis, in his 68 Comeback Special, decked out in his black leather spacesuit... Get a collector's copy. Copy... wink wink. Elvis, often imitated, never duplicated except in utero or however it go...

*Classic kitchen knife displays of incredible feats by the World Class Ginsu knife. Showoff All the other dull culinary utensils got Ginsu off & murdered him & buried his stainless steel body under the goal post in Food Network's Iron Chef Kitchen Stadium.

*Walter Koenig for a huge collection of Star Trek (Original & Next Generation) themes,sound fx, & a 6 minute bridge sequence. Sound fx, okay... maybe... a 6 minute bridge sequence... alright, I can sort of see that... still, it's nerdom bordering insanity.

*K-Tel Conway Twitty videos. Not the right station. Not as much as Sci Fi isn't a rhinestone sequened audience as it's not an audience where they can relate to a hillbilly heart-throb's songs about sleeping w/ a horde of women. Live long & amorously prosperous.

*"The majesty & might of Marvel leaps off of the page & onto the screen" shows clips of 70s Hulk tv show & one of the 70s Spider Man tv movies. Modern Marvel fanboys would scoff at the words majesty & might being used for these classics. "They don't even have after credits sequences or universe building." They do have Stan Lee hosting the Mighty Marvel Marathon on Sci Fi 1993. Sixteen years before Iron Man....

*Clone Master: It's a good clone movie when the existential grief of being a clone does not fully get in the way of the clone capers, clone antics, & clone based comedy. Also, Cold War era conpirators could get away w/ a lot thanks to government secrecy not allowing anyone to share information to know what the hell was going on in different sections of all their hush hush top secret work like cloning.*

3 stars for Sci Fi's bumpers, close to 3 for the ads, & 2 1/2 stars for Clone Master

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The She Creature *Kooky age regression hypnotism to spook squares & Eve-era mer-monster to slaughter them.* 3 stars w/ riffing 2 1/2 stars w/out

Nathan On Your Side: Talking to the Animals *non-confrontational dialogue w/ bed wetting cat.* more than 2 stars

The Cinema Snob: Woodchipper Massacre *No Fargo woodchipper action. No massacre. More terrible like Poland invaded by Hitler, only w/out any of that massacre. Just the terrible.* 2 1/2 for Snob

Conan O'Brien - In the Year 2000: Taco Bell 2000 *A "chilling" glimpse into the prophecy of Charmin toilet paper's involvement w/ the bowel dooming food chain.* 3 stars

A & E presents An Evening at the Improv: Norm MacDonald (1991) *Homeless dog owners & backseat blues.* close to 3 stars

HBO Not Necessarily the News: The Spork Episode (1983) *Mr. T. imporium. Panda pest control. Des Moines pudding disaster. Light beer for fat drunks. Rich Hall's weekly sniglet words: scrit is anything that has sat in the same spot for 50 years... yinkel is anybody that combs their hair over their bald spot thinking that nobody will notice... spork the combination spoon fork device (did he invent that term? wow, cool, if so)... furbling is the act of walking through a maze of ropes at the airport or bank even though you're the only one in line (haaa)... porkus non grata is the squashed piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.. lactomangulation is having to open a milkcarton from the opposite side because of one side's malfunction.. carperpetuation is the act of running over a piece of string w/ a vacuum 4 or 5 times before picking it up & inspecting it & then putting it back down for one last attempt.*

decent though dated

"Best of the Worst Star Search Auditions" (youtube) *"Let me do my thang to ya!" You'd never see a bearded lady singing Patsy Cline on America's Got Talent.* 3 stars

Insomniac w/ Dave Attell: San Francisco *If you come to this frontier town, eventually you're gonna ask yourself "am I a fog rider, a pickle pilot, or a proud baby mudfoot?"* 3 stars

--- Memory Hole:

*Cranial Deformity Dance Dad: I'm tired of spaghetti. But you always like sketti.* 3 stars

*Clinton Torture: Bill's bubbles is just tryna give you kisses.* 2 1/2 stars

*I'm On The T.V.: Been waitin' for you to turn me on.* more than 2 1/2 stars

*Rap 4 Ca$h: A school teacher, of 25 years, will do anything for a raise.* 1 star

*Island Of Original Ideas Mirror Effect: an idiot's idea of an interesting illusion.* folly

======================================================

Penn & Teller Bullshit!: Creationism & The Bible, Fact or Fiction *Pissing on one's own feet while the ground crumbles beneath forming a crater of disbelief. Leaving one in critical need & clinging to the causal or a creed.* Folly?

James Randi Debunks An Astrologer *"Everybody believes that they have a sense of humor." - Stephen Fry who doesn't believe that the astrologer accurately judged his friend Hugh Laurie.* close to decent

Forbidden Transmission: World Bizarre *freewheeling babel.* more than 2 1/2 stars

Weird TV: Burning Man - Early Years *Survival issues, sexuality, porta potty use, & potato gun fun.*

between 2 & 2 1/2 stars

"Dawn of the Mummy" *Classic Universal horror theme grave robbed by Euro-sleaze exploitation schlock vandals.* 2 1/2 stars

PBS presents American Experience: The Lobotomist *"Ambition makes you look pretty ugly." -Paranoid Android- A look at the doctor who tried to turn a grotesque medical procedure into a McDonald's style franchise value menu item forthe severe to the even the slightly mentally ill.* either zero or 3 stars

Alien Sex Fiend - "Now, I'm Feeling Zombiefied" *Face is caked white, you see a dead rat & you take a bite...* 2 1/2 stars

"You Spin Me Round" (Literal video version) *Freaky pirate all tied up (in himself).* close to 3 for the literal 3 for the actual

Uncharted Zone: "Hurry, There's A Hurricane" - Ken Manning *Hold on to your hats & to each other.* close to 3 stars

--- Reel Wild Cinema w/ Sandra Bernhard: Lunatics on the Loose:

*Sandra wants to go to third base w/ Antonio Banderas, her Aztec fantasy...

*Curse of the Aztec Mummy: Beehive hairdo damsels in distress, rubber bat attack, crotch crawling spider, & hideous ghoul doing the rigor-mortis-arms trance step dance*

*Sandra promises a movie with bad dubbing, coming up, "So don't go away." For the bad dubbing, I'll definitely stay.

*America's Most Wanted & Top Cops on USA network. A one two punch of justice & dullness.

*A soccer ball toting toddler wakes his middle aged dad up & his dad needs a small pouch sized doze of Folgers coffee. I bet this man can't even take a morning shit in peace.

*A disembodied red lipsticked mouth for Rembrandt whitening toothpaste. "2 shades whiter" promised. All the varying shades of teeth color from white to off white to yellow to grey to diseased orangish brown to black... Amusing memory of Mitch Hedberg's tartar sauce joke

*The Psychic Solution w/ a very self aware ad where they parody "bad psychic" hotline call centers complete w/ dart board for predictions & vanity mirror distractions during calls.

*Sandra now promises stock Civil War footage w/ clips from a nudist colony. Robert E. Lee is rolling over in his grave in his slave mistress's underwear that he demanded to be buried in.

*The Monster of Camp Sunshine: Thank that "scientist in the sky" for water pollution & sexual deviancy.*

*Quirky-reggae-whitebread-feelin' Long John Silver fast food joint on the beach commercial where there are tropical birds inside the establishment (sure the health inspector likes that notion) & couples relax in the waves drinking supersized sodas in foam cups (I bet those don't get put in the proper trash bin & instead float about the waves onto the beach)

*Crocodile Dundee vs. Ogre of Revenge of the Nerds & Bloodsport in a station wagon chase....

*Kenny Kingston "legendary psychic" & sleazy old school Hollywood showman look-a-like w/ love advice for lonely yuppies who go through everyday being horny & instead of acting on it & taking chances they wait for over the phone voodoo advice...

*Dweezil Zappa is Sandra's guest: Not sure if it's his rainbow colored girly liquor drink talking but Dweezil let it slip that he might believe that Aztec civlization dates back at least a million years....

*Sandra wants t.v. trying to scare people instead of always endearing itself to them.

*Bloody Pit of Horror: More tortured by the swingers he performs medieval cruelty upon, the Crimson Executioner gets caught up in his own scarlet devices.*

*A crystal ball gazing clairvoyant, w/ pink hair, predicts that Snoop Doggy Dog, Bush, & Dennis Miller will be at the 1996 MTV Video Awards. Pumpkins will also be smashed.

*USA capitalizes on the Unabomber headlines w/ their own original movie version...

*Sandra would have no sympathy for a girlfriend caught in a devious bondage trap...

*Oath of Green Blood: Audience participation required in taking a vial of verdant liquid that might make one vile or vivacious.

*Star Trek's original resident black boundaries breaker is sadly selling her soul as a spokesperson for a psychic hotline. This one even makes the claim that's often been used as a joke against psychics "Lottery winner predicted." Yep, "it happened."

*Coming attractions: Scream of the Demon Lover... Giant from the Unknown (awakened after hundreds of years & wearing conquistador armor. so, it's the Spanish to blame)... The Crawling Thing from Planet 13 promises to attack audience members (nice gimmick ploy)...

3 for Sandra, 3 for the shorts, & close to 2 for the ads

----------------------------------------------------------

"Sting of Death" -1965- *The Hunchback of the Everglades suffers a squelching at the hands of Florida Gator co-ed swingers & marine scientists. He goes all man-o-war on their jiggly jellyfish jive asses.* 2 stars

Baywatch Nights: Pursuit *Stinks of 90s sleaze/cheese. Says "Nights" but can't help in filming over half the show on the pretty beaches during the day. Featuring a couple of my boyhood tv crushes, Carol Alt & Angie Harmon.* between 1 1/2 & 2 stars

Beavis & Butthead: Varga - "Greed" *Beavis has the great idea that someone should invent something to watch music videos on (a television). Butthead's great idea is Beavis should shut up.* 3 w/riffing 2 1/2 w/out

Troma presents "Blondes Have More Guns" *Basic Instinct parodies haven't aged well, but Troma satire silliness is timeless.* between 2 & 2 1/2 stars

Penn & Teller Bullshit!: The Business of Love, Yoga, Tantric Sex, Etc. & Sex, Sex, Sex *Follow made up rules, follow hokey signs, follow shady email-spam links, & fuck if any of it happens to work.* 3 stars

--- Found Footage Fest:

*Video Dating: Looking for a goddess. A goddess is a woman, any woman, all women. No fatties!* 3 stars

*Sexual Harassment Comedy: Don't say anything, ever, because you're an obvious dickhead.* 1 star or close to 3

*Courtship vs. Dating: Don't get hung up on sweaty beefcakes. Acquire the fire to be a hard to get Christian cock-tease.* 2 1/2 stars

------------------------------------

David Hasselhoff - "Hooked On A Feeling" (Literal Video Version) *Hoff w/ "wiener" out & high on believing. "Please throw a fish at me!"* more than decent w/riffing or close to decent w/out

Nathan On Your Side: Sex In Advertising & Penis Extension *What turns you on? Please tell Santa so that we can market correctly.*

2 1/2 stars

Occult Demon Cassette presents "How To Be Cool At Parties" w/ Malcom Jamal Warner (1986) *Anybody can act like a jackass.* 2 1/2 stars

Pee Wee's Playhouse - Adult Humor & Innuendo (youtube) *Being a Spring chicken, I wasn't spry enough to see just how subliminal Saturday mornings really were.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Pod People *Smuckers presents movies

A) Redneck poachers run into 'The Thing From Another World' B) Lil' Opie & his new pet Alf... or C) Ace of Base's tragic vacation in the Catskill Mtns. Joel says "It stinks! *okay hand gesture*"*

3 stars w/riffing between 1 1/2 & 2 w/out

Herman's Head (Pilot Episode) *Clever premise pulled off effectively. Made even better by the voice of Lisa Simpson & another Simpsons' legend Hank Azaria's charm.* close to 3 stars

Comics Only: Employee of the Week - Hank Gallo (1990) *Talent scout who searches the gay leather bar scene.* 2 1/2 stars

--- Rachel Sweet - The Sweet Life (The Comedy Channel circa the early 1990s):

*Lou Diamond Phillips makes fun of greasy haired Johnny Depp

*Jon Stewart impersonates a pretentious French director

*Rachel Sweet is a quirky raven-haired petite cutey poking fun at the Cosmo magazine's version of a girly girl

*Naked centerfold spread of David Hasselhoff is mocked by Rachel...

*Classic "Cow Cow Boogie" film short, that I just saw on Night Flight, is sang along to karaoke style by Rachel... she's definitely sweet

*Quotes: An unexamined life is not worth living - Plato... Time eases all things -Sophocles Get over it - Rachel Sweet... (cute)

more than 2 stars

---------------------------

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mattsagervo · 7 years ago

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New Releases: Comics and Direct Market August 16, 2017

Here's a look at what's new in comic stores Wednesday, August 16 2017, courtesy of TFAW:

Comics

ABSTRACT STUDIOS

Motor Girl #8$3.99

ACTION LAB ENTERTAINMENT

Amerikarate #5 (Cover A - Roth)$3.99

Amerikarate #5 (Cover B - Massa Movie)$3.99

Amerikarate #5 (Cover C - Petrie Action)$3.99

Amerikarate #5 (Cover D - April Oneil Photo)$3.99

Infinite Seven #6 (Cover A - Mesa)$3.99

Infinite Seven #6 (Cover B - Mesa)$3.99

Infinite Seven #6 (Cover C - Greathouse)$3.99

ALTERNA COMICS

Mother Russia #2 (of 3)$1.50

Scrimshaw #2$1.50

Chair #2 (of 4)$1.00

Trespasser #2 (of 4)$1.50

Wicked Righteous #1$1.50

ALTERNATIVE COMICS

Reich #10 (of 12)$4.00

AMERICAN GOTHIC PRESS

Killbox Chicago #2 (of 4)$3.99

AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY PRODUCTIONS

Tinker #3 (of 4) (resolicited)$3.99

AMRYL ENTERTAINMENT

Cavewoman Starship Blish #1 Cover H ValentinaAR

ARCHIE COMICS

Archie Comics Double Digest #281$4.99

World Of Archie Jumbo Comic Digest #71$6.99

ASPEN MLT INC

Lola Xoxo Vol. 2 #2 10 Copy Incv (resolicited)AR

Lola Xoxo Vol. 2 #2 (Cover A)$3.99

Lola Xoxo Vol. 2 #2 (Cover B)$3.99

AVATAR PRESS

Jungle Fantasy Annual 2017 Thrilling Cover$9.99

Jungle Fantasy Annual 2017 Thrilling Nude Cover (adult)$9.99

Lookers Ember #1$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Gga Homage$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Gga Homage Nude (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Luscious$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Luscious Nude (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Nude (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Red Hot$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Red Hot Nude (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Sexy Spies$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Sexy Spies Nude (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Webcam$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Webcam Bikini$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Webcam Bikini Nude (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Webcam Bikini Topless (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Workout$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Workout Nude (adult)$7.99

Lookers Ember #1 Wrap$5.99

Lookers Ember #1 Wrap Nude (adult)$7.99

BLACK MASK COMICS

Calexit #1 2nd Ptg$3.99

BOOM! STUDIOS

Adventure Time Comics #14$3.99

Adventure Time Comics #14 (Subscription Palmer Variant)$3.99

Bill & Ted Save The Universe #3 (of 4)$3.99

Godshaper #5 (of 6)$3.99

Misfit City #4 (of 4)$3.99

War For Planet Of The Apes #2 (of 4)$3.99

War For Planet Of The Apes #2 (of 4) (Subscription Shaw Variant)$3.99

COMIC SHOP NEWS INC

Comic Shop News 90ct Bundle #1574AR

DARK HORSE

Briggs Land: Lone Wolves #3$3.99

Briggs Land: Lone Wolves #3 (Jeffrey G. Jones variant cover)$3.99

Dragon Age: Knight Errant #4$3.99

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Mad Magazine #547$5.99

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2000 Ad Pack Jun 2017$21.60

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DYNAMIC FORCES

DF All Star Batman #1 Aod Collectibles Migliari Exc$29.99

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IDW PUBLISHING

24 Legacy Rules Of Engagement #4 (of 5) (Cover A - Jeanty)$3.99

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Rom #12$3.99

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Time & Vine #2 (Cover A - Zahler)$4.99

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Disney Princess #12$3.99

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Locus #679$7.50

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Rue Morgue Special Lovecraft$9.95

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Marvel Super Heroes Magazine #29$4.99

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Blood Bowl More Guts More Glory #3 (of 4) (Cover A - Magill)$3.99

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Normandy Gold #3 (Cover A - Iannicello)$3.99

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Warhammer 40000 Dawn Of War III #2 (of 4) (Cover A - Svendsen)$3.99

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TWOMORROWS PUBLISHING

Alter Ego #145$9.95

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Back Issue #99$8.95

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Comic Book Creator #15$8.95

Jack Kirby Collector #66$10.95

UDON ENTERTAINMENT INC

Street Fighter vs. Darkstalkers #4 (of 8) (Cover A - Huang)$3.99

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Street Fighter vs. Darkstalkers #4 (of 8) Cvr C 10 Copy Incv$3.99

VALIANT ENTERTAINMENT LLC

Divinity #0 (of 4) (Cover A - Ryp)$3.99

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Divinity #0 Cvr E 10 Copy Incv Bagge$3.99

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ZENESCOPE ENTERTAINMENT

Grimm Fairy Tales Grimm Tales Of Terror Vol. 3 #8 (Cover A - Eric J)$3.99

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Grimm Fairy Tales Tarot #1 (Cover A - Abrera)$3.99

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Grimm Fairy Tales Tarot #1 (Cover E - Otero)$3.99

Games

IDW PUBLISHING

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Shadows Of The Past Casey Jones Hero Pack$17.99

Torres Game$49.99

PSI

Munchkin Halloween Monster Box Exp$29.95

Munchkin Oz Guest Artist Katie Cook Ed$29.95

Zombie Dice Horde Ed$24.95

Cards

KONAMI DIGITAL ENTERTAINMENT

Yu Gi Oh TCG Code of the Duelist DisAR

Various

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Aggravation Retro Game CsAR

NECA

Marvel Heroclix Merc Jet Colossal Op KitAR

Apparel

Colossus Shine Previews Exclusive Black T-Shirt LG$18.99

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Batman Dark Knight Face By Miller T-Shirt LG$19.95

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Star Wars Fire Away Luke Previews Exclusive Black T-Shirt LG$18.99

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Guardians of the Galaxy V2 Star-lords Tee Light Blue T-Shirt LG$18.99

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Justice League Movie Logo T-Shirt LG$19.95

Justice League Movie Logo T-Shirt MED$19.95

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Kingdom Hearts Kingdom Rocks Black T/S LG$18.99

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Lumberjanes Badge Everything Under The Sum$4.99

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Lumberjanes Badge Up All Night$4.99

Masters of the Universe Whats Going On Royal Blue T-Shirt LG$17.99

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Street Fighter II Super Famicom Box Art Black T-Shirt LG$17.99

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Superman Breakthrough By Ross T-Shirt LG$19.95

Superman Breakthrough By Ross T-Shirt MED$19.95

Superman Breakthrough By Ross T-Shirt XL$19.95

Superman Breakthrough By Ross T-Shirt XXL$22.95

Transformers Comic Cover Blue Tie-dye T-Shirt LG$17.99

Transformers Comic Cover Blue Tie-dye T-Shirt MED$17.99

Transformers Comic Cover Blue Tie-dye T-Shirt SM$17.99

Transformers Comic Cover Blue Tie-dye T-Shirt XL$17.99

Transformers Comic Cover Blue Tie-dye T-Shirt XXL$19.99

Time Lordin Underground T-Shirt LG$21.99

Time Lordin Underground T-Shirt XL$21.99

Time Lordin Underground T-Shirt XXL$23.99

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Front & Back Royal Blue T-Shirt LG$18.99

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Front & Back Royal Blue T-Shirt MED$18.99

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Front & Back Royal Blue T-Shirt SM$18.99

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Front & Back Royal Blue T-Shirt XL$18.99

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Front & Back Royal Blue T-Shirt XXL$20.99

Wonder Woman Movie Logo T-Shirt LG$19.95

Wonder Woman Movie Logo T-Shirt MED$19.95

Wonder Woman Movie Logo T-Shirt SM$19.95

Wonder Woman Movie Logo T-Shirt XL$19.95

Wonder Woman Movie Logo T-Shirt XXL$22.95

Wonder Woman Movie Logo Womens T-Shirt LG$19.95

Wonder Woman Movie Logo Womens T-Shirt MED$19.95

Wonder Woman Movie Logo Womens T-Shirt SM$19.95

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X23 Claws Out Previews Exclusive Black T-Shirt LG$18.99

X23 Claws Out Previews Exclusive Black T-Shirt MED$18.99

X23 Claws Out Previews Exclusive Black T-Shirt SM$18.99

X23 Claws Out Previews Exclusive Black T-Shirt XL$18.99

X23 Claws Out Previews Exclusive Black T-Shirt XXL$20.99

Collectibles

Daft Punk Guy-Manuel RAH Discovery Version 2.0$389.99

Doctor Who Figure Special #3 Mega Cyberman$149.95

Miss Mindy Aurora Diorama Figure$100.00

Star Trek Starships Figure Coll Mag Set #3 Shuttlecraft Pt 2$85.00

Star Wars Kenner-inspired Power Force Greedo Jumbo Action Figure$80.00

Tsukimonogatari Yotsugi Ononoki Figma$80.99

Merchandise

Aikatsu Yume Nijino S.h.figuarts AF Winter Uniform VerAR

Ajin Demi Human Ajin Polystone Statue Takayuki Takeya Ver$570.99

Alien Covenant Neomorph Body Knocker$12.99

Alien Covenant Neomorph Head Knocker$26.99

Alien Predator Figure Coll Mag #6 Dallas From Alien$29.95

Alien Predator Figure Coll Mag #7 Xenomorph Warrior From Aliens$29.95

Alien Predator Figure Coll Mag #8 Hudson From Aliens$29.95

Aliens 7in Scale AF Series 11 Asst$343.84

Arpeggio of Blue Steel Ars Nova Takao Figma$97.99

Art Of World Of Warcraft 2018 Wall Calendar$14.99

Batman Dark Knight Hmf-046 Joker AF$77.00

Batman Dark Knight S.h.figuarts AFAR

Ben 10 Basic AF AsstAR

Ben 10 Basic Omnitrix Roleplay AsstAR

Ben 10 Deluxe AF AsstAR

Ben 10 Deluxe Omnitrix Roleplay AsstAR

Ben 10 Giant Figures AF AsstAR

Berserk Slan Figma & Conrad Figfix Fig Movie Ver$178.99

Chaos Dragon Lou Zhenhua 1/8 Pvc Fig$215.99

Christmas Story Ralphie in Bunny Suit Body Knocker$12.99

Cinemachines Die-cast Terminator 2 Hunter Killer 8pc Cs$199.92

Cinemachines Die-cast Terminator 2 Hunter Killer 8pc Cs (nov$199.92

Cthulhu 3in Stress Doll Keychain$6.95

Daft Punk Guy-manuel Rah Discovery Ver 2.0$389.99

Daft Punk Thomas Rah Discovery Ver 2.0$389.99

Date a Live II Tohka Yatogami 1/8 Pvc Fig (feb178826) ($153.99

Date a Live II Tohka Yatogami 1/8 Pvc Fig$153.99

Dbz Resolution of Soldiers Vol6 Son Gohan FigAR

Dbz Scultures Big Budoukai 7 Hercule FigAR

Dbz Scultures Big Budoukai 7 Hercule Fig (nov168296) (AR

Dbz Scultures Big Budoukai 7 Ssj2 Gohan FigAR

Dbz Shodo 5 Dragon Ball Super Trad Fig 6pc AsstAR

Dbz Super Kamehame-ha Coll Goku FigAR

Dbz Super Master Stars Piece the Vegeta FigAR

DC Comics Darkseid 10in Plush$19.99

DC Heroes Wonder Woman Symbol Temporary Tattoo$2.99

DC Superhero Best Of Figure Coll Mag #32 Raven$17.95

DC Superhero Best Of Figure Coll Mag #33 Hawkgirl$17.95

DC Watch Collection #12 Flash Comic Logo$34.95

DC Watch Collection #7 Man of Steel 2013 Movie$34.95

DC Watch Collection #8 Heath Ledger Joker$34.95

Dirty Donny Pinball Punk Resin Monster Mod Kit$31.99

Dorbz Fallout Vault Boy Grim Reaper Vinyl Figure$7.99

Dorbz Fallout Vault Boy Rooted Vinyl Figure$7.99

Dota 2 Lina Figma$93.99

Dota 2 Queen of Pain Nendoroid$51.99

Dunny DC Comics Classic Joker 5in Vinyl Fig$45.00

Elf Buddy the Elf Body Knocker$12.99

Ffxv Kingsglaive Play Arts Kai Nyx Ulric AF$149.99

Figpin Kiss Band Enamel Figure Pin 12pc Asst$179.88

Figpin Mass Effect Andromeda Enamel Figure Pin 6pc Asst$89.94

Figpin Mass Effect Andromeda Enamel Figure Pin 6pc Asst (feb$89.94

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Funko Rick & Morty Bird Person AF$11.99

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Funko Rick & Morty Poopy Butthole AF$11.99

Goosebumps Slappy the Dummy Vacuform Ver$12.99

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Dancing Groot Speaker$25.99

Gotg Groot Laser Cut Figural Magnet$3.99

Guardians of the Galaxy Baby Groot Mini Zip Wallet$21.99

Guardians of the Galaxy Star-lord Jacket Xxxxl (oct169083) ($135.99

Gx-70 Mazinger Z D.c. Mazinger Z Bandai Soul of Chogokin (ne$113.40

Gx-73 Great Mazinger D.c. Mazinger Soul of Chogokin Tv Ver ($129.60

Hp Gryffindor Deluxe Replica Adult Robe$140.99

Hp Ravenclaw Deluxe Replica Adult Robe$140.99

Hp Slytherin Deluxe Replica Adult Robe$140.99

Ia Aria on the Planetes One 1/8 Pvc Fig$149.99

Is the Order a Rabbit Chino 1/7 Pvc Fig$167.99

Isobelle Pascha X Otome No Teikoku Ai 1/6 Scale Fig (mAR

Isobelle Pascha X Otome No Teikoku Ayano 1/6 Scale FigAR

Isobelle Pascha X Otome No Teikoku Chie 1/6 Scale FigAR

Isobelle Pascha X Otome No Teikoku Mahiro 1/6 Scale FigAR

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Isobelle Pascha X Otome No Teikoku Miyoshi 1/6 Scale Fig (ne$140.40

Kamen Rider Accel Kamen Rider W S.h.figuartsAR

Kancolle Akizuki Agp AFAR

Kancolle Harbour Princess 1/8 Pvc Fig$276.99

Little Twin Stars S.h.figuarts AF Pastel VerAR

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Marvel Doctor Strange S.h.figuarts AF W/ Burning FlameAR

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Naruto Shippuden Sasuke Uchiha Nendoroid$51.99

Nintendo Legend of Zelda Lapel Pin$4.99

Nxedge Style Evangelion Unit-02 + S Type Equpment FigAR

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Pocket Pop Lord of the Rings Gandalf Fig Keychain$5.99

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Pop Bojack Horseman Mr Peanutbuter Vinyl Fig$10.99

Pop Dark Tower Gunslinger Vinyl Figure$11.99

Pop Dark Tower Man in Black Vinyl Figure$11.99

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Pop Potc 5 Salazar Vinyl Fig$10.99

Pop Team Epic Pipimi Nendoroid$49.99

Pop Team Epic Popuko Nendoroid$51.99

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Ranma 1/2 Genma Saotome Figuarts Zero Pvc FigAR

Robot Spirits Msg G Fighter Anime VerAR

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Wonder Woman Movie Color Patch Decal$4.00

Wonder Woman Movie Figural Decal$4.00

Wonder Woman Movie Graphic Badge Decal$4.00

Wonder Woman Movie Justice Decal$4.00

Wonder Woman Movie Logo Decal$4.00

Wonder Woman Movie Vintage Logo Decal$4.00

Statues

Batman Black & White Statue By Norm Breyfogle$80.00

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Toys

Ghostbusters Marshmallow Winston Action Figure$19.99

Marvel Select Lady Deadpool Action Figure$24.99

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