#SHE'S HOME OH MY GD

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

I ain't never drawing Rangi in her damn armor ever again. This this bitch is getting TOotWTT from now on TT0TT

[nomaishuttle]

guys remind me to watch la bamba later

[supercantaloupe]

i really despise all those "older sister" posts bc in my experience they're literally never accurate. like im sure there ARE older sisters out there whose experience is like that but MY older sister is So Very Much Not

[matchesarelit]

Imagine If You Will... (Silly, Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader)

REQUEST: I really enjoyed your fic from earlier this month so I'd like to ask for a Spencer Agnew x reader!! Mainly where the office is oblivious to his and the reader's newly established relationship and they start flirting more often, wearing each other's clothes/jewelry, going home together and people start realizing 1 by 1 until the news spreads that they're dating. (including their reactions lol) Thanks :))))

W.C: ~2.4k Warnings: none I think, Reader and Spencer are gd hopeless, the word gigachad, badly crafted memes?

Smosh Masterlist

Waking up on Spencer's couch with a controller in hand and your head draped back over his shoulder was becoming a hobby of yours and the almost immediate creak of your neck was a now familiar ache. Usually, the pair of you had the foresight to set an alarm, or twenty. Today however, you woke to catch the long hand solidly past the six and the other making its way towards nine. That left the pair of you with less than half an hour to get ready and get to work about ten minutes away.

Twisting hurriedly you pat Spencer's chest a few times, the controller long lost to the couch cushions in your haste, 'Hun, wake up, we need to go.'

Rubbing the back of a knuckle over his eye he slowly turned to face you, his voice soft yet rough from sleep and still slightly out of it,

'Huh? What time is it?'

'About twenty-five to nine' His hand hand shifted to rest against his chest, meeting and holding your own as a small smile fell over his features, clearly still a little too out of it to read the situation as it was. Your expression probably wasn't helping, the initial stress had disappeared the moment his lips pulled into that pretty expression, and you had never had the strength to not smile right back at him.

Admittedly it had taken five additional minutes for the pair of you to remember the issue at hand and spring from the sofa, at which point the pair of you had grabbed whatever you could, changed and scrambled to the car. Pulling into the office carpark, you thanked yourself for setting the top you'd brought over out on top of the dresser.

A self to self mental high five that was not at all warranted, a fact that you would only realized as you stepped into the bathroom at work when you went for a tea break later that morning.

Catching sight of yourself, your cheeks immediately grew hot; across your chest, in a vintage font, was the phrase, 'She Bul on my ba until I saur' alongside a gigachad version of the Pokemon underneath. You'd bought the shirt for Spencer a few weeks prior upon stumbling across it on Instagram and thinking it was perfect for the nerdy man that he was.

Finishing up in the bathroom, you beelined for the Games area, scurrying (in the most nondescript way possible, of course) over to Spencer's desk, you immediately began tapping his shoulder until he tugged his headphones from his ears.

'Is everything alright?' Jaw hanging motionless you gestured wildly to the top, your wild eyes begging him to catch on to your not so subtle concern.

'Ha! nice shirt-o-OH WAIT' Eyes blowing wide and brows drawing together you remained silent lost on how to proceed. Although you had yet to discuss keeping your relationship a secret, you hadn't discussed announcing it either, and it had caught the pair of you quite off guard.

'I-I've only worn it once on stream? if that helps? I doubt anyone will realize' at his words you nodded, giving a cursory glance about, you were glad to note that the other two people in the space had headphones on, presumably drowning out the world around them.

It wasn't that you wanted to hide your relationship, and the shirt certainly wasn't the worst way to launch your coupling, that being said it wasn't the best either. I mean c'mon at least something classy like a gigachad Mr. Mime right? A Bulbasaur was just a little silly.

Meeting his eyes with a small grin tugging at your cheeks, you put your hand over his and squeezed lightly, before stepping away, brushing your hands down over the fabric and turning to return to your own desk.

There was only one conclusion to draw and it was one that the pair of you agreed upon that night as he dropped you off at your apartment; there really wasn't any point in putting much effort into hiding your relationship, after all you already knew you were horrible at it.

That much had been revealed weeks into seeing each other, when a stray brightly patterned hair clip wound up tangled in Spencer's hair, the matching one sitting neatly by your temple, a fact you doubted Kiana would ever let the pair of you forget. Especially as that same hair clip had remained on his desk since she had twisted it free it months prior, and she still often feigned looking for the matching one in your hair.

Pulling into the carpark outside of Spencer's apartment, you barely held back your laughter as you leant over and pushed open the car door for him from inside. Watching as he cautiously all but tip-toed closer, arms piled high with a clutter of hard drives and cables in a tangled mess, you raised an eyebrow at the chaos of it all.

Settling himself down with a relieved sigh, he let the balled up hardware sit on his lap resting a hand on top so to keep it in place.

Leaning over once again you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before twisting to grab a bag from the back seat. 'Did you want a bag for that Tangela'd mess?' Unable to dissolve the much-too-happy-with-yourself look on your face you watched in glee as he took in the pun.

'oh god' His exasperated mutter was plainly for show as he shook his smiling head in disbelief, before thanking you as he took the canvas from your hands and began haphazardly shoving the mass inside.

Much too caught up in discussing the date planned for later that week all throughout the drive and as you walked into work, both of you failed to notice the print on the side of the bag that was soon emptied out and folded on his desk awaiting that evening when he'd give it back.

Marcus, however, in light of the copier breaking down, had been asked to trek to the local Staples and make some copies and soon spotted the folded tote on his way to the door.

'Hey Spencer, would I be able to borrow that bag for a copy run?' Peering around his monitor, Spencer looked from Marcus to the bag and back again before finding his voice, 'Oh um, this is-'

Stepping into the room and catching on quite fast you spoke up, unintentionally, and yet mercifully, cutting Spencer off, 'That one's mine, of course you can borrow it!'

Standing just outside of the kitchen with your umpteenth mug of whatever sachet you had picked up, possibly a soup, you watched Spencer chuck the bag over and watched as the other man caught it and left the building with it tucked under his arm.

Looking all around her desk, you and Erin were searching for her bag, a tote not unlike your own, that had been lost in the chaos of the day, but with her phone on the verge of dying the pair of you had sprung into action. Venturing further and further from her desk as time went on, you found yourself by the assortment of boxes in the corner while Erin searched near the door. Just as she opened her mouth to call the search a failure, Marcus stepped back into the office, bag slung over his shoulder.

'Hey is there any chance that bag is my one?' She was clearly hopeful but that was a fleeting moment as she cut off his response,

'No its uh-'

'oh don't worry. This is definitely yours, isn't it?' The question was yelled across the space at you, a point you only noticed when you looked back at the cacophony to find her eyes already looking in your direction. Walking over you were lost as to how a nondescript tote-

Nevermind.

Illuminated momentarily by Erin's camera flash, across the side of the bag was a graphic, edited by you, for you. Across a captioned screenshot of parks and rec, you'd put the words, in a horrendous green, 'This is my boyfriend, and my boyfriend's Mtn Dew KickStart' alongside a included picture of the can. It was messy, and hyper-specific and yet it had given you such a good chuckle, you'd elected to pay for it to be printed. A fact you'd completely forgotten when blindly grabbing a bag that morning.

'I-' Your attempts at any explanation, no matter how unnecessary, fell short as you struggled for words. Marcus was in the same boat, now holding the bag up in front of him, eyebrows furrowed and mouth opening and closing repeatedly as he studied the print. Erin however, seemed to have no such problem, tapping a few buttons, locking her phone and spinning on her heel presumably to keep looking for her own bag.

Silly as ever, you thought those few buttons were unrelated, until Spencer make a squawk-like noise from the passenger seat of your car on the drive home. When you pulled over, he accompanied the sound with showing you a story from the main Smosh account, it was of the bag with the text 'Found in the wild. Your soulmate @/spenser?'

Grabbing the balled up bag in the cup holder you handed it to him, at which point you returned to the open road, not missing the little, 'So true' that came from the man next to you.

You'd just switched on the kettle when Tommy stepped into the office kitchen, grabbing a mug of his own and perching beside you against the island.

'Hey so my car is in the shop, would I be able to grab a lift home tonight?'

You and Tommy had spoken many times in the past regarding your shared suburb, so it wasn't at all a surprise when he asked, and yet you were still stuttering to answer.

'oh uh-'

''its no problem if you can't-'

'Oh no I- We can, I carpooled with Spencer, but I'm sure he wont mind...'

'Are you sure?'

'Of course! I'll just let him know, don't even stress'

Living in the same neighborhood, you and Tommy had given each other lifts and carpooled in the past, but that was before you started spending so much free time with Spencer, something that started almost a full year before you'd actually gotten together. This Included, almost without discussion, your carpooling, despite living in two different areas in opposite directions from the office.

That last aspect, the part that made the whole carpooling situation between the pair of you impractical, was the part that completely slipped both yours and, when you confirmed the change of plans with him, Spencer's minds.

It wasn't until a few minutes after you had slipped inside Spencer's car, Tommy had nestled himself into the backseat, and Spencer had started off in the direction of your area, that any of you had shared a word. The regular flirting that flowed freely over the car ride home, after being bottled up at work, was absent and left the space eerily silent. Until Tommy's head cocked to the side and he addressed Spencer.

'I had no idea you were in our area Spencer, when did you move?'

Spencer was silent for perhaps a beat too long, 'oh I uh-'

'Cause weren't you up north?'

'I... uh... still am' His voice was almost silent towards the end, achieving his goal of leaving Tommy momentarily clueless.

'What?'

Patting a hand on Spencer's shoulder you wordlessly insisted he go on,

'I still do, live up north that is.'

'Then wh- OHHH' In the quiet car his realization was like a siren, thankfully however, it fell away quickly, being immediately replaced with an amused chuckle. His laughter meant Tommy struggled to get out his playful criticism,

''S-so you d-drive like the compl-ete wr-wrong direction t-to t-t-o drop off... oh my god that's s-so silly and so cute b-but so dumb.'

'Not always... sometimes Spencer'll stay at mine or I'll-.' Your defense wasn't nearly as good as you'd thought it was in the moment and was cut off with more laughter and a sarcastic yet good natured, 'y-yeah that makes it make sense,' from the man behind you and a smile from the man by your side.

It might be silly but at this point that was a founding pillar of your relationship, and one you'd long since stopped denying, but that didn't stop you from trying, and failing, to defend yourselves on occasion.

Pulling a headband from your desk drawer, you pushed your hair out of your face and out of the way. It was a common enough occurrence, as was accidentally taking them home and losing them to the abyss, that you had quite a large number squirreled away. In the light of previous occurrences you had moved away from hair clips, cough Kiana cough, to their much less find-their-way-into-your-boyfriends-hair friends, the headband.

That being said, less than an hour later, standing, once again, by the kettle you watched as Spencer brushed hair from his eyes and tucked it behind his ears only for it to fall back in place almost immediately. The struggle was one you knew well, but the pout that his lips pulled into as it happened for the twenty-something-th time, was not something you could abide.

So settling down your mug of freshly made who-knows-what at your desk, you retrieved a headband, one not at all dissimilar to the one currently holding your own locks in place. Walking over to Spencer you tapped the table to get his attention, doubting his ability to see you through the hair he had seemingly relented to.

'Hey...'

'Hey... Come here.' Moving to stand by his side, you spun his chair from under his desk around to face you, running your hands through his hair, pushing it up. Softly pushing his head to hang back, you placed the headband across his forehead, before moving it up to secure his hair in place underneath it. Letting your fingers linger, you considered the moment. It wasn't Mr. Mime classy, but it was definitely a little bit silly and that seemed perfect.

Trailing a hand up past the band and over the back of his head, you rested it on the back of his chair, a movement he met with his cheek nestling against your forearm. Meeting his eyes, you held his gaze as his head tilted down and then back up. A single nod was all you needed as you leant down and pressed your lips to his.

It was nowhere near the first time, but it was the first time that it was accompanied by a call from down the hall, where Ian stood pumping his fist in the air.

'CALLED IT!'

[mswyrr]

^^ Well said. I delayed reading it because I didn't want to engage with it for a while - and, once I did, even though Collins had earned so much trust from me with her handling of Katniss and Peeta's disabilities, I was still wary. So I actually highlighted every instance where she wasn't writing him according to ableist tropes.

Yes, at 18 he's been shaped by Capitol indoctrination at school and in his family and in the media. He sees with those lenses. They come easily and automatically to him. But he also connects with people as people and realizes - oh, the District kids are just kids?? And they're being starved and hurt? I know what it's like to go hungry... This is wrong. Why should Lucy Gray have to sing just to get food? I'll get her some, even though I don't have enough.

Over and over - but if you stand up for the wrong people, you will be punished. He tries it; he protects Lucy Gray. And then he pays the price and -- somewhere along the way, he doesn't want to pay anymore. He wants to protect his family and be a winner. And you can't be a winner--comfortable and safe and in control--and stand with someone your society has designated to lose. So he chooses.

It's heartbreaking - and it is, sadly, terrifyingly, the kind of choices the majority of people make - his 18-year-old choices, that is. That moment in his life is the perfect one to write about, because it turns the eye of the story on how young people are shaped - but also, at that young stage, he's closer to the common ordinary people in any corrupt society. He's just trying to survive. It's later that his urge to win motivates him to get worse and worse and worse - no longer wanting to protect his family, in fact tossing Tigris aside, *only* wanting to win. Taking pleasure in driving people into the ground.

It takes decades of choices for him to become that person, though. And it is a creation he makes of himself. The younger person is closer to most people though.

For example, I live in a democracy, thankfully. And yet it is so much driven by what Langston Hughes called "the same old stupid plan / Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak." When I walk into work and I see the cops clearing unhoused people from the only homes and safety they have--a process that we know from studies shortens peoples' lives, hurts them emotionally and physically for no gd reason, just cruelty, just greed--living in an encampment near my work - I don't do anything. I'm afraid to. Sure, I try to donate to people who help and write letters and vote... but I don't resist directly. I'd be punished. So there's a little bit of that 18-year-old kid early in the book who knows right and wrong and yet just wants to be safe in me. And I have to wrestle with it. Because I don't want to ever forget that it's a wrestling match. That's when the perverse incentive structure starts to consume you IMO. And most of us live in societies with perverse incentive structures of some kind. Some lure that is offered to us, of feeling better than, of exploiting others, and some threats of punishment too.

To my mind, it's a good story that can make me think of feeling a pang of shame and sadness and then looking away as the cops clear people and remembering that it's a struggle, that I am not simply on the side of angels, that my society is structured around cruelty and greed and it doesn't have to be. It shouldn't be.

re: the use of trauma. I'm interested to see what Viola Davis does with the role and how Dr Gaul is adjusted in the film script - honestly, her apparent flatness was one of the things in the book I thought could be better? And in film reviews I'm reading it seems like they strengthened her. We'll see. I think she's so good at leaning into why all of this is justified because she truly believes it. And she's looking for future leaders who can truly believe it too. And, as much as she and Highbottom apply pressures to shape this youth--including that hilarious imo scene where Coriolanus naively says "people love children"--by the end Coriolanus is writing her letters and offering himself as someone who will fit that shape in order to get the rewards it offers. There's a subtle shift as that happens that is quite nuanced. And, again, focusing on his youth is so powerful because he's a being in formation, a person being created and creating himself as an adult.

There's a *reason* why Collins opens the book with this quote:

“I thought of the promise of virtues which he had displayed on the opening of his existence, and the subsequent blight of all kindly feeling by the loathing and scorn which his protectors had manifested towards him.” — Mary Shelley, Frankenstein, 1818

Though, again, the major shift of Part 3 for me is that he begins to take an active part in forming himself and he is fashioning himself to be a winner, to fit what he believes Dr Gaul and the authorities at the military school want, hoping and fearing that he won't be able to do it so well and desperately happy when the chance at rewards for doing so is still open to him. IMO Part 3 and the Epilogue aren't the end of his journey, they're the death of other possibilities and the birth of who he's choosing to become. And even he can't fully imagine where that will go as the decades pass and the choices mount up.

That is not the kind of quote you use to begin a story about someone who was born evil to begin with. The book takes 528 pages even though it's only about a few months in one 18-year-old's life precisely because it's a carefully drawn and teased out character journey, a corruption arc. As reviewer David Ehrlich put it in his review of the movie:

is Coriolanus embracing his nature or defiling it?

It's supposed to be a question, not a foregone conclusion. And I think the weight of the text itself leans in favor of "defiling" as the answer. Though it can be interpreted multiple ways (as it should be). I think the movie only lines we have from Lucy Gray in the trailer hold true: "there’s a natural goodness born into us all.” But, in one way or another, it doesn’t just stay that way, it’s a struggle. “It’s our life’s work to stay on the right side of that line [between good and evil].”

It’s a little on the nose with the themes, but I’m cool with them having her be so clear about it since apparently it’s not clear in the book I guess????

[v-era-18]

HoneyBee

Chapter Five: Respect

‘Respect is important-but the higher power knows nothing about that’-Mikaela Banes 

5

Mad wouldn’t be the proper words to describe the sheer emotions she was feeling at the moment. This was the second time she was placed in handcuffs thanks to the boy who sat on the other side of Mikaela in the backseat. Her arms ached in the position she sat in, knees placed together in cramped fashion due to the driver's seat being rolled back a bit. Livid-yes that was the word (Y/n) wanted to use. 

“Comfortable?” Simmons joked, he was met with an icy glare before the eyes traveled back to the window beside them, “I see you’re the smart one out of the three of them. You haven't said a word since we took you guys away.” 

“I'll speak when we have a lawyer,” She bit out, her voice dripping in venom from the night filled events, “None of us are going to be talking to you.” 

“Ah,” He grabbed his phone, pulling up a file with her face attached, “(Y/n) (L/n), only child-daughter of (D/n) and (M/n). Both parents tragically murdered in hit and run with the child being the only survivor, custody given to (GD/n) and (GM/n). (GD/n) died from cancer-” 

Simmons was cut off from being struck in the head with the teens right foot, the heel of her worn out sneaker connecting with his jaw. Mikeala had moved against Sam to give the girl a passage of revenge to her utmost pleasure. The agent was shocked, locking in on heated brown eyes nailing him to the seat. 

“Keep my family's name-out your fucking mouth!” 

He laughed nervously, “I simply read your file-” 

“Read it again, and I'll park my foot in your ass!”

“Okay-okay,” Simmons coughed and rubbed his aching jaw from the assault inflicted, “Did your alien friends teach you how to fight?” 

“What?” Sam uttered. 

“You heard me,” 

“We have no idea what you're talking about,” Mikaela lied smoothly. 

“Oh-oh, okay,” The man chuckled to himself, “Ladiesman217. That is your eBay username, right?” 

“Yeah, but, you know-it was a typo and I ran with it.” Sam's excuse was total bullshit. He needed to just tell the truth for now on. 

“What do you make of this?” The car went silent as Simmons played the tape, ultimately damning them with evidence. 

“My name is Sam Witwicky, okay? I am here with my best friend (Y/n) (L/n) and my car-“

“Is that you?” He cocked a brow. 

“Yeah that sounds like LadiesMan.” Mikaela stated simply. Sam rolled his eyes to hide his embarrassment. 

“Last night at the station, you told the officer your car transformed. And that girl over there,” The man pointed to (Y/n), “Said she had evidence that they’ve been here for years.”

He looked between the three of them, “Enlighten me.” 

“Well, here’s what I said, okay?” Sam laughed nervously, “‘Cause this is a total misunderstanding that my car had been stolen-“ 

“Really?” 

“From me, from my home, but it’s fine now because it’s back! It came back!” 

Mikaela noticed his error and decided to help, “Well, not by itself-“ 

“Well-no”

“Because cars don’t do that, because that would be crazy.” She started to laugh. 

All of them joined in except (Y/n), the said girl looked at them completely done with the situation. 

“That’s funny, that’s funny” Simmons went back serious, “So again, what do you kids know about aliens, huh?” 

“Oh you mean, like a Martian? Like what, E.T? No.” Sam denied. 

“It’s an urban legend.” Mikaela backed up. 

“Yeah.” 

“You see this,” he held up his badge, “this is an ‘I can do whatever I want and get away with it badge’” 

Oh we know, you guys use it enough already. 

“Right,” Sam's face went stoic, ultimately fed up putting up a front. 

“I’m gonna lock you up forever.” 

(Y/n) closed in on herself in the seat, Sam was ready to choke the man, he knew that he was directly targeting her with that statement. He felt ashamed with how he 

“Oh, god. You know what?  Don’t listen to him.” Mikaela snapped, “He’s just pissy cause he’s got to get back to guarding the mall.” 

“You, in the training bra, do not test me.” The man quipped, “especially with your daddy’s parole coming up.” 

“What?” Sam uttered, “Parole?” 

“Sam,” (Y/n) tried, her voice was dry. 

“It’s nothing,” Banes lied. 

“Oh, grand theft auto, that ain’t nothin?” 

The girl sighed looking towards the two best friends, “You know those cars my dad used to teach me to fix? Well-they-they weren’t always his.” 

“You stole cars?” 

“I know they had good reason,” (Y/n) defended the girl. 

“Well, we couldn’t always afford a babysitter, so sometimes he had to take me along.” 

“She’s got her own Juvie record to prove it!” The man exclaimed, “she’s a criminal! Criminals are hot.” 

(Y/n) rolled her eyes in frustration, “ do you ever shut up?” 

He ignored her, “That’d be a real shame if he had to rot in jail for the rest of his natural life. It’s is time to talk!” 

Suddenly the car was hit, causing them to spin to a skidding stop. The three teens screamed in response, (Y/n) was more than prepared to see a decepticon emerge on the other side. Everyone in the car ducked upon large metal hands emerging through the windows and tearing off the car roof. 

Upon looking up (Y/n) broke out into a grateful smile, it was no other than the leader of the Autobots himself who stopped the vehicle. Although he maybe could’ve done it a lot safer. 

“You A-holes are in trouble now.” Sam smirked, “Gentleman, I want to introduce you to our friend, Optimus Prime.” His best friend smiled at his growing confidence, something about the two of them knowing the importance of their decisions was starting to have an effect. Sam was growing-slowly-but the signs were there. The prime slowly stood up in front of the car, inspecting the three teens in the backseat, his eyes staying on (Y/n) longer due to her dazed look. 

“Taking the children was a bad move,” Optimus stated, “Autobots, relieve them of their weapons.” 

The rest of the Autobots emerged, shocking the rest of the government men. (Y/n) felt her worries wash away for a minute, she looked over seeing Ironhide nod to her, pleased to see that she was safe. She smiled in response, glad to see she wasn't on the big man's bad side as she originally thought. 

“Freeze,” Ironhide pointed his cannons, as a reflex the teens ducked their heads-although they weren't the ones in danger they knew the familiarity of the heat. 

“Whoa! Whoa!” 

“Gimme those!” Jazz took the weapons away. (Y/n)’s inner child screamed at the sight with questions on her tongue, ‘that had to have been a giant magnet or is it his hand naturally capable of doing that-’ 

Optimus kneeled down to the vehicle his faceplate could be read as furious. 

“Hi there.” Simmons uttered with an awkward smile.

All nice now that you realize you fucked up. 

“You don’t seem afraid. Are you not surprised to see us?” The Prime questioned. 

The man shrugged nervously, “Look there are S-Seven protocols, okay? I’m not authorized to communicate with you except to tell you I can’t communicate with you.” 

That wasn’t a good answer. 

“Get out of the car.” The order sent chills down the human’s spines. 

“All right. Me? You want me to get-“ 

“Now!” 

The voice made the girl immediately try to get out of the car , it was that effective. She read that Primes could be terrifying, but she thought Optimus was an exception to that. She was extremely wrong. 

Mikaela started to work on (Y/n)s handcuffs first, “Thank you” the girl whispered in thanks. Mikaela could feel the weight of gratitude the girl had expressed alone in her words as well as the hug afterwards. 

She worked on Sam's next, “You’re good with handcuffs, too, now, huh?” This caused the girl to cringe at the boy's words, they weren't rough, just smart. The embarrassment set in of what her new friends knew about her and her past. 

“You weren’t supposed to hear all that.” 

“Yeah,” was all the boy could give as a response at the moment. He really couldn't think about Mikealas feelings at the moment 

Sam grabbed (Y/n)’s face, turning it side to side to make sure there were no injuries. After the way those men were handling her he was on edge, after all these years Sam hasn't lost his overprotective touch. “Thank god you’re okay.” He whispered, pulling her into a hug. 

She hugged him back. 

Mikaela came forward looking at the two friends in confidence, “I have a record because I wouldn’t turn my dad in. When do you have to sacrifice anything in your perfect little life?” 

(Y/n) shook her head, “Mikaela, your past doesn't make us view you any different. Those guys are assholes that don't have any respect.” 

“Yeah,” Mikaela laughed bitterly, “Respect is important-but the higher power knows nothing about that.”

“What is Sector Seven?” Sam stalked up to Simmons, “Answer me.” The boy was done from the past hour, the fact of the matter is-he was holding his anger back. All he could think about was his friend going limp and he couldn't do anything about it. He felt weak-useless! His friend couldn't breathe and he couldn't do anything about it. 

“I’m the one who asks questions around here. Not you, young man!” Simmons scoffed. This only caused Sam to step forward, his face growing red, the only thing that stopped him was the brunette placing a firm hand on his chest. 

Mikeala stepped in, her anger radiating, “ How’d you know about the aliens?” 

“Where did you take my parents?” Sam demanded answers again. 

“I am not at liberty to discuss it.” The agent avoided answering once more. During this time (Y/n) felt a bit faint, shaking her head to get rid of the fog she looked around till she saw the faint outlines of black and yellow. With wobbly legs she made over to get guardian, causing him to look down and cock his head at her state-his optics narrowing slightly. Something was wrong. 

“No?” Sam dove into the man’s pockets. 

“Hey! You touch me, that's a federal offense,” the agent snarked. 

Sam held the badge up to Simmons face, boldness radiating off of him, “‘Do whatever you want and get away with it’, right?”

Simmons scoffed, “Yeah. Brave now all of a sudden, with his big alien friend standing over there.” 

Sam ignored him, “Where is Sector Seven?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Bumblebee kneeled down, trying to get a better look at his charge as she wobbled back and forth with her balance. Offering a servo the girl took it, using it to lay against in order not to fall. Mikaela noticed the interaction and immediately walked away from Sam gaining his attention. 

“(Y/n)?!” Mikaela took the girl's face in her hands before continuing to check her pulse, “Are you okay? Do you need to sit down-?”

“Shit!” Sam raced over towards her, “She usually takes her anxiety meds after an attack, she needs proper medical attention-“

“We already gave it if you were paying attention.” One of the agents spoke up. The way the teen boy turned so fast was dizzying. Anger practically radiated off of him. 

Mikaela turned towards Ratchet, her expression desperate, “Have you checked about human anatomy? O-or possible medical conditions?!” The medic stepped forward and started scanning (Y/n)‘s body, judging from his sudden stiff stance it wasn’t good. 

“She’s highly malnourished and experiencing high fatigue. The effects from this ‘anxiety attack’ has left the body weak and slow to respond,” The autobots turned to Ratchet in shock, it hasn't even been three hours yet and their Storyteller was already experiencing harsh effects of war. 

Bumblebee froze before heatedly turning to the government men in front of them, ‘Are you *bleep* serious?!’. The radio within the bot was switching between channels fast for him to find a proper response for this situation, however he couldn't find any. His anger was spilling over by the minute. 

Sam turned to Bumblebee, his face red, “No you heard it right!” The teen boy pointed to the two FBI agents that grabbed her earlier along with Simmons berating, “Those fucking idiots were the ones who caused it! The ones who are supposedly supposed to protect our people-our nation?!” 

Simmons seemed to grow nervous, looking at (Y/n)’s state as she was practically being held up by Mikaela, “I-It was a mistake on my part-I skipped her medical file-,” 

“Oh! So you run background checks on her family but don't bother to check her medical file on severe anxiety? And you call yourself an Agent-?” Sam cut off looking right behind Simmons, a quirk of a smile appearing as they all heard an abrupt pop. 

A disgusted breath left the older male as he felt himself drenched with what appeared to be gasoline, “Hey-Hey! Get that thing to stop, huh?”

Optimus frowned at his scouts actions, “Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man.” He understood why he was upset-they all did. However there were more approaches to the situation at hand they could do. The scout simply shrugged, turning back to his charge faintly smiling at him the best she could. 

Ratchet was kneeling before her giving instructions on what to do for her condition until they could get her to be properly treated. (Y/n) proceeded to do the breathing methods along with telling herself a story to distract herself from what was going on around her. Bumblebee stood on the side for support, watching her chest rise and fall at a good pace as well as making sure her balance was okay. It wasn't long before all the government men were seated that her breathing and body gained some strength back. 

“All right, tough guy,” Mikaela waltzed over to Simmons, “Take it off.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Your clothes, all of it, off.” The brunette demanded once more. 

Simmons was beyond pissed, “For what?!” 

She took a deep breath before responding, gathering all the patience she needed from tonight, “For threatening my dad,” She then proceeded to point to (Y/n)-the girl walking back over to the scene, “And for disrespecting (Y/n).” 

The man took a long look between the three teens, his eyes unforgiving. It wasn't long before he started to do as he was told, “Little lady, this is the beginning of the end of your life.” Mikaela simply nodded, already ready for the consequences that would unfold from this. “You're a criminal. Let's face facts. It's in her gene pool-”

“You got a lot of mouth from someone with hideous underwear like that,” (Y/n)s face scrunched up in distaste. 

“Now get behind the pole.” Mikaela ordered next. 

“This is such a felony what you're doing,” The other man said, his stance prideful. 

‘This bitch.’

(Y/n) looked him dead in the eye, the brown iris screaming in anger, “You guys commit felonies everyday but get off scot free because of your privilege. Don't talk to us about felonies. You lost that right forty minutes ago.”  

Simmons turned to her and Sam, “I will hunt you down, okay? He'll hunt you down.” Sam simply replied with a nod. His threats aren't working, “Without any remorse! No remorse.” 

 (Y/n) froze as she heard it, the distant sounds of helicopters flying overhead and cars revving in the distance, “Uhh-guy’s! It's time to go!” 

Ironhide heard it as well, “Optimus! Incoming!”, he slammed his servo on the ground causing a rippled effect of electricity to slow them down. 

The autobots started to transform, leaving the three teens to look at the vehicles in pursuit anxiously. (Y/n) held the necklace on her chest, her heart hammering as her body still felt weak. If she needed to make a run for it she wouldn't get that far, she knew that for a fact-but if they-.

“Roll out,” Optimus orders the autobots, the screeching of tires filling their ears as they make their escape leaving them with the Prime. The leader lowered his hand, making (Y/n)s nerves go on edge, “Up you get.” In her mind it wouldn't make more sense for him to transform and the three of them claymore in, it would save the big rig a lot of time and be more discreet around the humans. 

Not gonna argue right now. 

Each of them climbed onto the Primes hand, before he lifted them up to his shoulders making haste on foot. OPtimus begins to run around the bridge, the helicopter's lights landing on them as the three teens try to hang on tight to whatere piece of metal on his shoulders that they could find.  It wasn't long before he headed through the street, cars honking and skidding to a stop in order to not be crushed underneath. 

“Oh my god,” (Y/n) gasped, she tried closing her eyes but she could hear it all. From the cruising of gravel to the endless screeching of tires and helicopter blades. 

Optimus finally was able to lose them, hiding underneath the bridge high enough from the helicopters and cars so they wouldn't detect them. There was on problem. Gravity. 

“Easy you three,” The prime tried to comfort, he could hear their panicked breaths in his audio receptors, concentrating especially  on (Y/n) considering her current condition. Optimus shifted slightly trying to get a better grip, accidently knocking the three-of-them hanging off a piece of his shoulder like a loose thread. 

“Oh my god! Sam no!” (Y/n) was hanging onto Mikealas hips, tears streaming down her face as a helicopter passed too close underneath her. 

“No! NO! No, Sam!” Mikeala tried to grab the boy's other arm making sure the girl holding her wouldn't fall, “Sam don’t drop us!” 

“Oh God!” 

“Sam, don’t! Sam, dont!” She tried to get a better grip, her fear pumping into her stomach as she thought about the girl at her hip, “ I’m slipping! I’m slipping!” 

“Mikeala don't you dare! Please don't let go!”

It was too late Sam lost his grip, causing the rest of them to scream the ground coming fast, “Hold on!” Optimus tried to catch them with his feet but was unsuccessful with them, being unable to grip in time. 

With some hope for a miracle (Y/n) screamed “Bumblebee!” 

A flash a black and yellow reached her peripherals before she felt herself being jostled a little. Her and Sam both held on to one another as they felt Bumblebee hit the ground coming to a skidding stop. 

It wasn't long before they heard the copters  again and the revving of engines, (Y/n) looked up at Bumblebee, her thoughts racing wild as she feared for his safety. “Bee you have to go now!”

“Stop! Stop!” Sam’s pleas were going unheard as they continued to fly overhead. The first cannon was shot and locked on, pulling the scout in another direction, “Wait! NO!” 

“Take the shot! Get him! Take the shot!” 

“Stop! No! Don't hurt him!,” (Y/n) raced forward but was pulled back by Mikaela, her grip strong, “Let me go! Bumblebee!” The second one was released-his other arm, the the third-one of his legs. She could hear it-the painful whirrs he was letting out from the assault-the worst part is this. He wasn't fighting back. He wasn't a threat to them. 

The final shot flipped him completely off his feet leaving the girl in shock, her resolve crumbling, “Bee, you have to fight back! You hear me! Fight back!” (Y/n)s screams were useless underneath how loud the blades were, each second that went by hearing her protector in pain caused her great turmoil.  

The cars arrived, blocking the exits from the scene before them. Sam pulled the two girls behind him, making sure to have a firm grip on his best friend so she wouldn't run to the scout, “No! Stop!” 

Guns. It was the guns that made everything humbling, so frightening. That's all she could see around her from each man in black-badges on full display. “Get down on the ground! Get down! Get down!” The three teens' hands went up, slowly getting down on their knees in defeat. It wasn't enough for them as they were shoved down to the pavement, groans of discomfort leaving their lips, (Y/n) didnt care-she was too focused on the black and yellow mech groaning in pain- not making any effort to escape. 

“Look! Please! He's not fighting back!” The afro haired cried, “You're hurting him!” 

Her screams were ignored once more, only to be covered up with another chilling command, “Freeze it! Freeze it! Freeze it!” 

They were pulled up, giving them a full view of the white smoke being blasted at him, Sam's screams filling the air, “Stop hurting him!”. Bumblebee fell to the ground, pained groans and whirrs filling the air as the girl's heart ripped in two. For a brief moment she didn't see the mech on the ground she could see another scene, a small framed femme trying to crawl away, two bodies laying waste in her arms as the men surrounded her. The surroundings were different. Instead of a bridge it was street lights and open roads-stores. 

They had done this before. They had done this the night of her parents' deaths. And it definitely won't happen again tonight!

(Y/n) kicked the officer from behind, quickly making her way over to the black and yellow mech before them. It was blind rage, she could feel it, from the way she grabbed the house aiming it to the other men, one going down after she proceeded to kick him repeatedly. An officer tried to grab her, only for her to grab his baton and whack him with it, a resounding crack following. The best thing is she wasn't alone fighting for this mech's life-Sam and joined in hosing down another group of men as well, before being taken down by two other men. 

She got through, getting in the scouts face-his optics focused on her, “Bee get up! You got to get-” Her sentence was cut short as he was grabbed from behind her mouth covered, before being pushed to the ground to be handcuffed. She fought back her fight not leaving her much to the officers dismay. 

It was a domino effect, once she was pushed to the ground, they heard it. The angry whirrs from the scout was unmatched as he started to pull the helicopters down with him. (Y/n) looked over eyes catching optics as it seemed like he was trying to get to her, one copter was successfully pulled down it crashing on pace. It didn't explode, which was a good thing but it only got worse for the bot as another  copter hooked him again pulling back down with more force this time. 

No…

The girl let out a sob in defeat, her efforts were in vain for her protector couldn't be saved with her own hands. Sam was stopped in front of Simmons-the agent had a satisfied smile on his face, “Happy to see me again?” 

“I'd rather jump from that bridge,” (Y/n) scowled. 

Simmions simply cocked his head at her, “Put them in the car with their little criminal friend.” The two were ushered into the car, (Y/n) in the middle with Sam and Mikaela on either side of her. The afro hairs slammed her head back in frustration at the agent's next words, “I want that thing frozen and ready for transport.” 

(Y/n) sobbed, “They're gonna do Bee just like they did Estel,” She turned to Sam, her expressions telling it all, “They're gonna freeze him and experiment on him.” 

The witwicky shook his head, “We're not letting that happen, I promise,” He looked her in the eyes-they didn't waver this time causing her heart to swell, “And this time-i'm not breaking it.” 

The cars pulled away the helicopters following in tow giving the green light for the autobots to emerge from hiding. Jazz was the first one to transform, scoping the area, “Hang back let me check it out,” He climbed down to underneath the bridge where Optimus was hiding. “Optimus, are we just gonna stand here and do nothing?” 

“There's no way to free Bumblebee without harming the humans,” Was the Primes reply. 

“But it's not right. He-” 

“Let them leave.” The leader finalized, his tone filled with sorrow. He looked down before picking up the glasses they sacrificed so much to obtain, only to realize the book was still with the girl. 

Their storyteller in the hands of the humans with the book was risking, but they trust her with their lives. With the way she fought hard to protect Bumblebee in her weak state-they'd be fools not to. 

~ ✯ ~

(Y/n) sat across the other man and women on the helicopter nervously. She had never flown from so high before and she didn't think today was going to be the day she got to experience it. The night had quickly turned into day signifying she needed a long day of sleep in the comfort of her room snuggled up into one of her bears. Mikaela and Sam sat on either side of her once more, not giving her the glory of seeing the view down below, she guessed she shouldn't be complaining so much. She didn't know if she had a fear of heights, and today she didn't want to find out. 

“So,” Sam started the conversation. 

The blonde woman nodded in understanding, “What do they get you for?” 

“Uh,” He turned to (Y/n) an awkward smile on his face, “I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot, and uh she-” 

“My family has been associated with them for god knows how long,” His best friend finished for him. 

‘Wow’ the man mouthed. 

“Who knew?” He smiled, (Y/n) as well finally finding a tad bit of humor in their situation. 

It wasn't long before they reached their location, the dam came into view with tourists becoming more apparent. With getting out of the vehicle the group of teens got a good view of their location, it was beautiful, if that's what anyone wanted to hear. 

“This is not my idea of a vacation?” (Y/n) muttered, “I would rather to go to disney world than here,”  

Sam laughed, “Shes finally back,” 

“Meh,” The girl shrugged, “Just trying to make the best out of a shitty situation.” 

The three of them followed the men, soon being met with the sight of Simmons, erasing the easy expression on the girl's face. She could still hear her protector's groans of pain in her head, ikt was even worse with the image of him reaching out to her, pulling down a helicopter in the process. 

“Hey kids,” He looked between the two best friends, “I think we got off to a bad start huh?” 

“A bad start would be an understatement,” The afro haired huffed. 

He shrugged, playing nice, “You guys must be hungry,” he placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder, the boy growing annoyed, “You want a latte? HoHo? Double venti macchiato-?” 

“Where's my car?” Sam questioned, “No better yet wheres my friend-” 

Another man stepped forward, “Son, I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here.” He turned to (Y/n), “We need to know everything you know. We need to know it now.” 

“No-” 

“Okay,” 

“Sam!” (Y/n) hissed, “What are you-?” 

“But, first I'll take my car, my parents. Maybe you should write that down,” The boy replied, “Oh, and her juvie record. That's got to be gone. Like, forever.” 

He turned to his best friend, “Anything you want to add (Y/n)? Since you know you're the one with all the history that these guys need to know,” the boy turned back to the other man with a smile on his face, “This girl beside me was raised on this stuff, She’s a (L/n)-learn to remember.” 

The man froze for a minute, turning back to the girl, “(L/n)? Daughter of (D/n) (L/n)?” (Y/n) nodded, biting her lower lip from the man's intense stare. The man pointed to her looking at Simmons, “Get that girl whatever she wants immediately, her uncle is practically a veteran here and her family are legends.” 

“And you son, come with me. We'll talk about your car,” 

[angstyaches]

Could u do another similar to the Valentine’s Day Drabble were it’s very fluffy and the person is embarrassed by there gas. There blushing and excusing themselves as there stomach rumbles also phrases like goodness! excuse me dear

or just excuse me or pardon. And my stomach is upset or disagreeing with me please.

I love ur blog have a gd day ♥️

Ahhh, I'm so nervous about this one because it's different and a little silly.

I wasn't sure how I felt about this request but I took some parts and combined when with an idea I already had brewing, I hope that's okay, anon!

Early(ish) Days Felix.

CW: vampire blood-drinking, fantasy elements, overindulgence, bloating, stomach noises, burping, embarrassment, intentional burping, mentions of previous nausea and lack of appetite etc.

___

“Hello,” Elliott said as he walked through the bedroom door.

“Hi,” Felix called out, hoping he didn’t sound as strained as he thought he did. He wanted to be excited that Elliott was finally home, but he wasn’t sure his body would let him.

The bed jostled as Elliott sat down to take off his shoes and, in turn, so did the warm, heavy lump of pressure in Felix’s belly. He felt his stomach walls tremble with the effort of holding that pressure in place, but instead of cramping or churning, it continued to just… sit there beneath his rib, but not before letting out an audible groan from under the duvet.

Elliott paused and straightened his back at the edge of the bed. An amused half-smile crossed his face as he turned his head. Felix’s belly didn’t exactly have a reputation for going about its day without making a peep, but more commonly, it was wracked with twisting pleas for sustenance, or the watery gurgles of nausea.

“Was that your stomach?” Elliott asked incredulously, as though part of him wondered if the sound had come from his own.

All the blood – his own blood, that is – in Felix’s veins felt like it was rushing to his face and neck.

He nodded. "Pardon me."

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I just… I may have pulled a you today.”

Elliott’s smile dimpled his cheeks. “A me?”

“Yes,” Felix said, savouring the chance to be cryptic for once.

“And what, pray tell, does that mean?” Elliott chuckled, bending at the waist again to continue unlacing his shoes. “More to the point, should I be flattered or offended right now?”

Felix winced as he watched his partner; Nancy had assured him it was almost impossible, but if Felix tried bending like that right about now, he would surely projectile vomit across the room.

He swallowed carefully at the thought, feeling a tiny bubble of pressure deep in his chest.

“I may have… over-indulged.”

Elliott sat up and glanced over his shoulder at Felix again – first, twisting to get a look at the swell of his belly, and then turning towards his face. He undoubtedly noticed the improvement in his colour; even Felix himself had noticed in the mirror earlier. Vampire starvation apparently took a while to take its toll, but could be remedied fairly quickly under the right circumstances.

“Over-indulged on…?” Elliott raised an eyebrow.

“Blood. Yes.”

“On a hunt?”

Felix nodded.

“Oh. Nice. Where did you go?”

“The woods.” Felix gave a light shrug. “You know geography isn’t my strong suit. I’m certain Ryan can fill you in the details…”

At the emergence of another deep, sluggish rumble, Felix flinched, an inexplicable shyness washing over him. He wasn’t sure if it was the relief that sparkled in the amber of Elliott’s eyes, or something else, that sparked a warm glow in his chest. He didn’t dare to hope that Elliott might be… proud of him? Or, at the very least, less worried about him than he usually had to be.

“I’m assuming Nancy gave you something for the nausea, then?”

“Yes,” Felix said, trying to brace himself for the wobble in the mattress as Elliott moved again. “It was incredible. Like night and day.”

Elliott finally kicked off his shoes and placed them to the side of his dresser. “Oh?”

“She gave me a tonic, which…” Felix paused as he listened to his own stomach churn, feeling its gently burbling movements inside. He smiled in Elliott’s direction to assure him he was okay. “I’m not quite certain, but I think it relaxed the muscles in my stomach. Have you heard of that?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“She and Ryan must have developed it recently then.”

Elliott scoffed. “Or I just never had need of it.”

“Fair enough, I suppose,” Felix grimaced. He was both very attracted to and envious of Elliott’s seemingly indestructible digestive system.

Then again, if there were any stories from Elliott’s transformation days that painted him in a less-than-indestructible light, Felix was sure he’d gone to lengths to make sure those stories were kept airtight.

“So, it worked?”

“Yes. Once everything relaxed, it…” Felix almost didn’t want to admit that today’s hunt – the adrenaline, the euphoria, the feeling that he was the strongest creature on the food chain – aligned uncannily with how Elliott had described it all along. “It felt… the way I assume it is supposed to feel.”

Instead of hitting him with an I told you so though, Elliott leaned on his elbow, bringing his face closer to Felix’s. His bergamot-heavy cologne made Felix’s head swim in the most delicious way.

“Amazing,” Elliott whispered, with an almost relieved warble to his voice. And maybe a touch of excitement, too? He looked like someone who had been the only one to know a secret for years and years, only to finally have someone to confide in about it. “Right?”

“Incredible, Elli.” Felix wished he had it in him to sound more enthusiastic about it. “Once my body was relaxed and I was in the right headspace, it was… honestly astonishing how hungry I ended up feeling.”

“Not that astonishing.” The spark in Elliott’s eyes dampened slightly. “You didn’t keep anything down for almost a week, boo.”

Felix chewed the inside of his lip at the pet name. Elliott must have caught himself using it too, because he lowered his chin slightly to hide the smile that twitched across his face.

He hummed low in his throat as he reclined into place on the bed, turning to place his head on the pillow beside Felix’s.

All of the movement made Felix’s weight shift on the mattress again, earning yet another groaning vibration from his stomach. Nancy had warned him that along with easing any potential nausea or cramps, the tonic would also slow down the digestive process, meaning he was in for a long night of lying on his back, more or less immobile, as he had been all evening.

He hadn’t been prepared for how exhausted he would feel once his stomach was satisfied. His muscles felt like cotton wool. It was an effort even for his arms to work against gravity right now, so he’d spent most of his horizontal time with his arms placed neatly by his sides.

Felix swallowed. He was just thinking about how nice it would be to have a hand on his content-yet-confused belly when Elliott reached out and placed – no, braced a hand gently on his side, as though in apology for all of the movement.

“Felix,” Elliott exclaimed as his fingers edged up the gentle swell that pushed through the duvet. “Jesus. How much did you drink exactly?”

“Gosh, like I said…” The tips of Felix’s ears burned with indignance, and he found himself gulping drily again. “I believe I experienced something similar to your… frenzies.”

If he was offended or perturbed at all by that, Elliott didn’t say or indicate so.

He peeled the duvet back, exposing the t-shirt that Felix’s abdomen was doing its best to escape from. Its rumbling was even more obvious – and consistent – now that there was no thick blanket to muffle it. His t-shirt had gotten bunched up as he’d gotten comfortable in bed, leaving the lower half of his abdomen exposed.

Felix pressed his lips together and swallowed harshly, his tired lungs shuddering just from holding his breath for a couple of seconds.

He frowned and watched the curve of his belly lift and press even harder against his clothes as he inhaled, hands slumped by his sides. His stomach felt like a sentient water balloon struggling about inside of him.

The warmth and the weight of Elliott’s hand was pleasantly reassuring, though.

"Pardon," he murmured when his stomach shifted noisily again.

Elliott shook his head in mild distaste. "You don't have to pardon yourself every time your stomach makes noise."

Felix disagreed with a silent grimace to himself.

“I am so delighted for you,” Elliott insisted. “The fact that you finally got to enjoy feeding? Felix, that is everything.”

A flutter in his chest allowed Felix to relax into a proper smile. “It is?”

“Absolutely.” Elliott paused to let Felix’s belly grumble into the silence of the room. He waited for a particularly high-pitched, bubbly gurgle to break up the deeper sounds before he frowned and asked, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh, gosh." Felix gulped. "Yes. Sorry. Pardon all of the... disturbance."

Felix squirmed as much as his lethargy would allow him. He found himself wishing his stomach would give it a rest now. Sure, maybe it’d been endearing at first – Elliott certainly seemed to think so – but this was getting ridiculous. It was also getting a little difficult to breathe without becoming painfully aware of his stomach pressing on his lungs.

He wasn’t in pain; in fact, there was something satisfying about feeling his stomach churn and groan and process such a huge amount of blood. He’d been empty, or close to it, for so long, his body so starved for blood that regular food was digested at an accelerated rate, leaving him with hunger pangs mere hours after having a full meal.

But this was… lingering. Satisfying. Something he’d started to doubt would ever be possible for him.

His train of thought was de-railed as Elliott put a single fingertip against his side. The soft, stretched-out flesh barely reacted as he applied the pressure, but as he pulled his finger back and released it, Felix’s tummy wobbled from side to side, acting a lot like the water balloon it felt like.

Felix hummed under his breath, feeling everything – everything – as his stomach trembled inside.

Another trickling gurgle ran through his belly. The impulse to swallow washed sluggishly over him, but before he could do anything about it, a soft burp tickled at the back of his throat, rolling out over his tongue.

"Oh... gosh," he squeaked.

Elliott’s hand splayed over the top of Felix’s stomach, stiff with surprise.

Eyes watering, Felix pinned his gaze on the ceiling. He wanted to cover his face with his hands, but his silly arms felt like jelly. It felt as though the world had shifted on its axis, landing him in an alternative reality where he held even less mystery in Elliott’s eyes. Besides the queasy ones that always found their way out during a vomiting session, he had never burped in front of Elliott before.  

This wasn’t fair. There was very little spasming in his belly or throat, so the gas had simply slipped out of him like it’d been pressed out by an outside force. There was just no room left for it.

“Par – pardon me,” Felix murmured as an afterthought.

“Sorry if that was my fault,” Elliott said. He lifted his hand from Felix’s belly. “Should I stop?”

Felix turned his head to look at Elliott’s idle hand and let out a resigned sigh. He was in for a penny, now; what difference would a pound make? “Do whatever you want, darling. It’s not as though there’s much I can do to stop you.”

“Wait. Are you angry with me?”

“What? No.”

“Something is wrong,” Elliott observed. “Are you sure you're feeling well? Are you in pain?”

“No.”

“Well, then, talk to me.”

“I had never…” Felix mumbled off the rest of his complaint, face blazing with heat. He was kind of grateful for the blush; at least Elliott would be able to tell that he was ashamed of what he'd done.

Elliott just stared blankly at him. “What?”

“Oh, my gosh. IhadneverburpedinfrontofyoubeforenandnowI’membarrassed,” Felix blurted out. “Alright?”

It was a half-truth; Elliott had heard Felix expel gas from his mouth more times than Felix was willing to recall, during his many vomiting sessions over the past few months. But this was different. He wasn't nauseous. He should have had more control over himself.

“Embarrassed?” Elliott chuckled like he'd been told an amazing joke. He smoothed a hand over Felix's arm. “Fee, you don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me. Especially not over this. I’ve burped around you lots of times.”

“No,” Felix complained miserably, “you haven’t.”

Elliott’s lips parted, as though he were about to give an example of a time when he had, but his eyes glazed over slightly as the gears turned in his head. “Well… perhaps I haven’t.”

Felix hummed in disappointment. He would have liked to be proven wrong.

“Give me a moment.”

Elliott raised his shoulder from the bed slightly, as though he were halfway into a sit-up. His defined stomach clenched visibly under the fabric of his shirt. He took the hand from Felix’s belly and curled it over the inward curve of his own. Then he inclined his chin and he pressed a little harder…

A low, swishing gurgle made Felix’s ears prick up.

Elliott opened his mouth to release a low, controlled belch, snapping his jaw shut as soon as he was done. Then he relaxed his shoulders into the bed again.

“There,” he said breezily, brushing his fingertips over his stomach muscles. “We’re even now.”

Felix could only gaze at his partner's face. His head didn't feel like it was going to burst into blame anymore, and the strained grumbling of his stomach didn't snag his attention quite as abruptly now.

There was just the two of them.

[romanarose]

Congrats on 2000 followers!

I love your Puppy Girl and Guard Dog Joel fics because WOOF (literally). I was wondering what would happen if Guard Dog Joel and reader would see Puppy girl!reader and her Joel out on a walk? Or if Guard dog Joel and Puppy Girl were in the same room together? Would they be besties or enemies? Would they get it on instincutally and be little slobbery messes over each other or resist because they're good for their masters?

As always, love you and can't wait to see what you write next!🫶

IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY I NEVE DID THIS!!!!

I should have never done 2k followers while still in school. I was already burn out, school was so much and then the drama happened ;-;

anyway I'm trying to get through it now!!!

For those unfamilar, over on my dark side blog I got two stories

Puppy Girl: Joel and Tommy keep reader as their "pet" and she likes to live as a puppy, crawling on her hands knees, barking, playing fetch... fuck'n

Guard Dog: Raider Joel raids the wrong house and gets non conned... then reader makes him her guard dog. Tess and Joel vibes.

For Clarity...

Puppy Girl = Puppy Girl reader

GD!Joel = Guard Dog Joel

GD!Reader = Guard Dog reader

Owner!Joel = Puppy Girl's owner Joel

GD!Joel would be.... confused.

There's a lot of differences between him and puppy girl!

Puppy Girl lives more like a puppy and GD! Joel is more human and normal.

I think if they met, say, in Boston, GD! Joel would be a little concerned like... Oh is this what she wants me to be like? He doesn't think he likes that. GD!Joel likes the collar but he doesn't want to crawl...

out side of occasionally crawling to her to fuck her or eat her out... thats it

He thinks puppy girl is cute of course bc Joel loves you in every universe <3

He does not want to be cute.

Theres some things he finds appealing. He sees how brainless puppy girl is... he's working on that. It is nice having GD!reader make choices for him. All he has to do is beat up and shoot anyone who tries to hurt her.

GD!Reader probably laughs with Joel at how Puppy Girl is so attached to Joel, how she crawls around and acts like a real puppy, bowl and all. GD!reader thinks GD!Joel should drink from a bowl.

Puppy Girl thinks GD!Joel is scary but intriguing.

Maybe Puppy Girl crawls over to him, sniffling him...

GD!Reader tells him to sit down and "play" which makes GD!Joel mad, but he does sit.

Puppy girl comes up and sniffles his hand, then licks it. GD!Joel chuckles. He thinks she's really pretty up close and he likes her cute little collar.

They definetly want each other

I think they'd try to resist because they are good. Owner!Joel can be very mean if puppy girl is bad, but thats not often. Honestly she hasn't misbehaved since training...

But Joel lets her play Tommy, doesn't he?

You look up and Owner!Joel is talking to GD!Reader so maybe she can get closer...

Puppy Girl crawls over very quickly and GD!Joel falls back and Puppy girl jumps her two front paws on his chest and begins licking his face!!!

"Puppy!" Owner Joel scolds her, scooping her up and into his arms.

"S'alright..." GD!Joel whipes his face and stands up, blushing

GD!reader teases GD!Joel as they leave, calling it puppy love.

GD!Joel asks her "D'yuh want me to be like... that?"

She'll shake her head. "Nah, ain't much good to me with 2 braincells. I like watching your beat someones ass when they look at me wrong."

GD!Joel smiles.

Back home, Owner!Joel tells Tommy puppy girl was humping another puppy and they need to punish her so she learns <3

It's a fun punishment.

[venusjaynie]

st social media au pt2

no real story line here, just another stranger things social media fic!

ST social media au masterlist here

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

itsbuckleybitch

Liked by y/ns.priv24, stevie.h, argyledude, and others.

itsbuckleybitch: folks, here we have steven marigold harrington in his natural habitat; stacking videos at our shitty job in a shitty video store

View comments.

stevie.h: buckley that is not my name and you know it

↳ itsbuckleybitch: do i know that?

↳ stevie.h: i hate you

y/ns.priv24: babe you look depressed af in this

↳ stevie.h: aw thank you baby. you're so kind

b.hargrove: cheer up harrington. munsons party's tonight

↳ stevie.h: i know dude. it's the only thing getting me through this gd shift

↳ itsbuckleybitch: hey dingus i think i'm making this shift a little more bareable

↳ stevie.h: um. no.

b.hargrove

Liked by stevie.h, itsbuckleybitch, y/ns.priv24 and others.

b.hargrove: the ladies say im almost as hot as my camaro

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: your tits look good in this

↳ b.hargrove: go fuck yourself

↳ y/ns.priv24: i took that photo. i was there. don't act as if you didn't pull your jacket back to show off your chest, and don't even try to convince everyone that that's a candid pic. it took you 45 minutes and 30024 poses to get the one you wanted.

↳ thefreakmunson: jesus christ. that was harsh kid

stevie.h: tbh hargrove, my girlfriend wasn't lying when she said your tits look good

↳ y/ns.priv24: steve i appreciate you agreeing with me (for once smh) but can you stop flirting with billy for one second

↳ itsbuckleybitch: yeah dingus, shes right. its getting out of hand

↳ stevie.h: as if you didn't kiss my gf at her birthday party when you were drunk

↳ y/ns.priv24 : that was a birthday kiss. doesn't count. it was robs present to me

↳ stevie.h: oh my god

stevie.h

Liked by itsbuckleybitch, nanceewheeler, y/ns.priv24 and others.

stevie.h: found this absolute fuckin gem in my snapchat memories

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: amazing. spectacular. this picture is like a christmas present i love it.

itsbuckleybitch: harrington take this down right now

↳ stevie.h: hm... nah

nanceewheeler: robin looking cute as ever

↳ itsbuckleybitch: nance stop im blushing

↳ johnnybyers: buckley stop hitting on my girlfriend

↳ nanceewheeler: byers don't tell my girlfriend what to do

↳johnnybyers: what the fuck is going on

↳ itsbuckleybitch: HA i stole your girl

willthewise

Liked by mikeymikey, ElOhEl, madmaxx, dustybunhenderson and others.

willthewise: that was some good pasta.

View comments.

LucassSinclair: where tf are you guys?

↳ ElOhEl: idk like a parking lot somewhere? i could be wrong max drove us here

↳ b.hargrove: max did what?

↳ ElOhEl: she drove us here in your car

↳ madmaxx: whaaaaaaaaat

↳ b.hargrove: youve got some explaining to do when you get home maxine

stevie.h: is that my dog???

↳ y/ns.priv24: our** dog. but yeah is that ceasar?

↳ thefreakmunson: pfft you named your dog after a salad? that's stupid

↳ y/ns.priv24: no dumbass he's names after julius ceasar. like the famous roman general

↳ thefreakmunson: ...i knew that i was just kidding

y/ns.priv24

Liked by b.hargrove, stevie.h, itsbuckleybitch and others.

y/ns.priv24: uncle billy brought ceasar back. major slay

View comments.

b.hargrove: never call me uncle billy again

↳ stevie.h: hargrove shut up i could see the big cheesey grin on your face when you read "uncle billy"

↳ b.hargrove: dammit steve

itsbuckleybitch: i love how no one has commented some shit like 'cant tell whos cute billy or the dog' cause we all know the answer already

↳ b.hargrove: aw thanks rob

↳ itsbuckleybitch: no man i meant my pal ceasar

↳ b.hargrove: im leaving this friend group

johnnybyers

Liked by y/ns.priv24, willthewise, nanceewheeler and others.

johnnybyers: guys my mom just sent me this im so confused

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: shut up this is so cute

↳ johnnybyers: okay but why is she sending me this shit

↳ nanceewheeler: cause theyre in love and they wanna show it

↳ y/ns.priv24: maybe. that doesnt sound like mom or hopper though. i reckon mom knew you'd post this and she just wanted some clout

↳ johnnybyers: you're so right

itsbuckleybitch: john your mom is hot

↳ johnnybyers: not cool dude

↳ b.hargrove: i agree with buckley

↳ y/ns.priv24: you guys make me sick

[playawner]

Oh yeah, since I got a few more mutuals and followers in the past two weeks, I decided to do a proper introduction

My name is Zash. He/She ONLY. I am a neurodivergent latino artist who sometimes draws and sometimes reblogs, but both things are cringe and free 💝

Small tag guidance:

Zash's stuff = All the things I post. Can be art... or just me yapping lmao

Zash's reblogs = When I reblog stuff in general.

Zash's ask box = When I reply to anyone who goes in my ask box. Currently, they're open, so you are always free to ask questions ANYTIME! (Unless if you're a hate anon, I will probably ignore you anyway lol)

Not my art! = When I reblog other people's art! Can be crafts, paintings (digital AND traditional), writing, etc.

See later = Posts where I think I need to see it sometimes. Can be something funny or something important.

Small notes here, too:

All my images ID's are in the alt text of my posts, but if you want, you can add them in your reblogs! Any constructive criticism about writing alt text is fine, as I'm still new to it ^_^

I have separate tags for each au I have, if you want, you can look out for them (example, if you want to see my gd infection au, you can see the tag "Darkness Rot AU"), I will soon do a master-post about each au I have or may do in the future.

I do also have a carrd! It can be found here, is optional to check it but feel free to if you want, as it contains more information about what I like or what am I.

Oh and don't forget your daily clicks, btw, before you leave this post! Is important, and if you have money, consider donating embedded sims, it may be a little but it means a lot for the people's lives, family and home ❤️

[altschmerzes]

for those of you playing along at home, i made it through the funeral/memorial/whatever. honestly could’ve been worse.

this is long and probably tmi but im processing out loud ig. probably should just keep a journal instead but here we are.

yesterday sucked ass mostly because like. at some point in the last two years since i started law school/moved to canada my father sent me some package at my grandmother’s house. yes this is after i made it very clear i did not want to see or hear from him. years after i made that clear. he did this fairly regularly - tried to give me things or pass messages through my sister or my mother or grandmother. anyway she asked if i wanted it, i was like. uh. No. and i guess she kept it for Some Reason because when i was very briefly at her house before heading to where the memorial happened today she pointed me at a pile of my things she wanted me to look at and there was a package. and on autopilot or something because ive been completely f r i e d out of my gourd this weekend i made the mistake i havent made in YEARS and opened it.

and i gotta say if i were going to ignore my daughter’s very clearly communicated boundaries and attempt to get in touch with her after she made it extremely clear she did not want me to do that SIX YEARS AGO at the time my go-to method of somehow persuading her to drop her decision to go no-contact wouldn’t involve [checks notes] a pearl necklace and a three-plus page letter about how nothing was ever my fault.

threeeeeee and then some pages of self-pitying guilt trip about how everyone turned their backs on him and other people kept us apart (as if that was the problem, the years of his absence rather than the years of his abuse) and how he knows the alcohol was bad but he’s off it now! he’s had such a hard life! i should stop punishing myself and other people! he won’t be around forever! (ISNT THAT IRONIC. LMAO.) after finishing this letter he TWICE decided he needed to add extra bits about how things don’t have to be like this, they can be better, and how im making “uninformed decisions” about him without knowing “the whole story.”

yikes.

anyways. that sucked and fucked me up real bad but my fiancé and i burned it last night on the beach and i threw the pearls (pearls? really? PEARLS?????) into the pacific.

then today. it was honestly fine. none of his friends seemed to even know i refused to speak to him, as they talked to me like they were assuming i was around all the time and super involved in his life. not sure what to make of that but it made it very easy to smile and nod and thank them for coming and not worry about anything further than that. he knew some cool people honestly. they were pretty neat, and his partner of 11 years, effectively my stepmom, is kind of awesome tbh. no idea what she was doing with him. and also my sister only yelled at me in front of some 50+ people once. for my sister this was a win.

and my brother came.

that was….. shocking. i had been in contact with his mom on and off about this but it was NOT clear at all if he was gonna show up. i figured not, honestly, because he’s so hard to get ahold of and none of us have seen him since 2016. but he came. and he brought his kids. my nephew is going into fifth grade and my niece is starting second and oh my gd they’re great. they’re adorable and funny and such sweet kids and i hand to gd thought id never see them again. now it looks like they’re going to come to my wedding reception when we have one out here so my family can attend something. it’s…. i didnt think id ever see or speak to him again and definitely not the kids. but there they were. i stood next to my brother with his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist while my mom gave a little speech to everyone who was there thanking them for coming and felt him breathing and couldn’t believe it was real. i dug around in the sand with my niece and my nephew must have hugged me about a half-dozen times. they’re good, sweet kids and my brother is a kind, patient father.

tomorrow’s gonna suck, taking a redeye home, gonna land at like 5 am tuesday and then have to cross my fingers and hope border control is chill with me, this whole situation has been a complete nightmare (except for my wife being there, thank gd) but today was as good as it possibly could’ve been. it’s probably gonna take me a while to really like….. even out from this, i think, but it’s almost over and then i get to live the rest of my life without worrying about ever seeing that man again.

what he did to me is going to follow me the rest of my life but HE won’t because he’s fucking dead and im alive and that means i won.

[cdyssey]

Yellowjackets 2.05 Reactions:

The stacks of VHS tapes everywhere in Van’s house/shop are so charming. 😭 The rainbow carpet! The past due bills!

“Parker Posey is my new dream woman. I would marry her today.” So right, bestie.

VAN RECOMMENDING QUEER MOVIES TO PEOPLE. OH, I LOVE HER. VAN’S STORE BEING SAFE FOR QUEER CUSTOMERS!!

Tai collapsing after seeing her ex for the first time in 25 years because she hasn’t slept in, like, five days. Go, girl failure. Give us nothing. <3

Shaunatai friendship moments. 😭 Tai being so gentle with her. I’m actually unwell about them.

“Happy wife, happy life.” I fucking love her.

Atm, Shauna is firmly in nothing-fucking-supernatural-is-happening-here-at-all-camp with Tai and Nat! It’s really interesting that this makes three out of our core four. (I honestly half-suspect that it’s actually four out of four, and teen Misty is just going along with the majority right now to be included.)

Shauna overhearing Lottie creepily prophesy the sex of her baby again and Tai turning around to watch her. 😭

Fucking creepy grown ass detective who is taking this underaged teenager on dates!! Preying on her emotions for a gd case!!!

“I sexually hustled you.” Oh, God, Callie. Go home. ☠️

Good on Callie for figuring out who Matt is by looking at the check!!!! Okay, yes, she absolutely did not need to be having feelings for this man, but also, I feel so bad for her. Everyone this girl cares about hurts her in some unimaginably fucked up way.

“Maybe he did die, and that’s his ghost.” ANANWJJEJWNWDIWWI

Akilah naming the mouse Nugget. ;w;

Misty kissing her and Crystal’s pinky swear. 😭 Mari is 100% manipulating the chore cards.

Callie lying to Matt!!!!!! Oh, God, she’s in it to protect her parents now. Her mom. So fucked up, but so good. All she has wanted this entire time is to feel close to her mother.

“There’s only ever one rule: Win.” Very suspicious line, lmao. I wonder if this is going to end up being Walter’s ethos.

Van immediately knowing that Tai is there about the sleepwalking.

NOT TAI GIVING HER THE BOOB PEN WKQKQKWJEJDJWIEJDJEJD.

THEY WENT TO SHAUNA’S WEDDING. OH, GOD. THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. And that also means they were together at least for a little bit after returning from the woods. (We know from Jeff’s bro-off with Kevyn that he and Shauna basically got married almost as soon as Shauna got back from the woods. It’s wrenching that Mrs. Taylor was there in so many ways. Wow. For Shauna, who was so entangled with Jackie, and now she’s about to literally live her life. For Jeff, whose two girlfriends died and one of them came back wrong. For Tai and Van and other Yellowjackets if they attended, who had to look at the Taylors and know that they ate their daughter. And even for Mrs. Taylor, a grieving mother. Just one line, but it’s so, so loaded.)

“Promise you won’t freak out.” / “Sure.” / “No.” AJWJWJJWIWJSJDW.

“A fucking cop?” MELANIE LYNSKEY’S EYEBROWS ARCHING EJWJDNS.

CONCERNED PARENTS ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS ABOUT THE COP’S AGE!!! Listen, the Sadecki family is fucked up to hell and back, but I love them.

“So… I did fix it?” / “You-you did that great.” So, so effed up. <33

NAT IS STILL WEARING THOSE GODDAMN LEATHER PANTS. GIRL, YOU’RE GONNA GET AN INFECTION!! This being said, it’s notable that she’s wearing a purple top now.

Akilah being a skeptic too. Also, every time we get a new piece of Akilah lore, I want to die a little inside because it’s so lovely and they’re 100% priming us for her inevitable death. 😭 Her friendship with Tai is so sweet, though.

I love the distinction that Akilah makes here, though—doing the pre-game rituals and going to Lottie’s morning sit-down not because she believes in these things, but because they make her feel good.

“Well, yeah—because you’re totally whipped.” AKKQKQOQIEIEJWJEJDJS. Splashing each other with water. Kids being kids, even in the desolate and unforgiving wilderness. 😭

Oh, God. This Travis/Nat confrontation. So upsetting. Nat immediately fessing up to it is incredible; she’s not a character who likes to deal with lies.

Lottie curling her hand around Nat’s shoulder!!! Gays, we win again.

“Actually, uh, before we go into the black recesses of my soul, I just need a minute.” Same.

MISTYNAT REUNION!!!! What if they kissed between the gate slats. Then what

(I’m sorry. I ship almost all of these women together. I think if this season doesn’t end with ALL of them making out by the fire in Lottie’s compound, it’s a missed opportunity.)

Misty’s look of utter horror as Nat stalks away. She came so far for her.

I know it’s just the effect of Tawny Cypress’s contacts, but Tai’s eyes being slightly red at certain times is just chef’s kiss.

Tai sitting in the chair like a child, knees pulled up to her chest. She looks and sounds so vulnerable, even as she’s trying to be glib.

Misty and Crystal trading secrets back-and-forth QNQKQKKWJE. So funny and so effed up.

You know, I could have done without the shot of the shit and piss being poured out. We can imply that. 😭

KRISTEN. 😭😭😭😭 The fact that she went by the mistaken name just to keep her peers’ approval. So Misty-coded.

OH, GOD. IS MISTY ABOUT TO FUCKING ADMIT TO DESTROYING THE BLACK BOX. NO. NO. NO. THAT MIGHT BE TOO EFFED UP, EVEN FOR KRISTEN.

FUCK, SHE’S GOING TO DO IT.

IT IS TOO FUCKED UP FOR KRISTEN.

“You’re the reason we never got rescued?”

“You’re not that good of an actress.” Fair in this moment, but Misty did slay that Steel Magnolias monologue.

“I’ll… fucking… kill you.” JESUS CHRIST

KRISTEN. OH, MY FUCKING GO D.

I’M LOSING MY SHIT.

GOD, GOD GOD GOD DGOD GOD

I am so FUCKED UP ABOUT THIS.

Directly on the heels of Misty losing her best friend in the wilderness, we get adult Misty reeling over Nat. I am so fucking unwell.

“Maybe Lottie is jealous of what Natalie and I have.” Natalie has two hands, Misty. <3

Walter having done the due diligence of checking to see about Adam’s murder, but coming to the wrong conclusion.

“You think I’m capable of murder?” DIRECTLY ON THE HEELS OF KRISTEN’S DEATH. I’M SO FUCKED UP.

WALTER STILL BEING INTO MISTY EVEN THOUGH HE SUSPECTS SHE’S A MURDERER EJWNDNNE. Listen, I love him, but I think he’s as dead as a doorknob by the end of this season.

“… regardless of your extracurricular activities.” AMQMQKWKDNSSN.

Shauna all dolled up to pretend to have an affair, lmao SNDNSNDNWJNS.

Randy Walsh being such a dumbass is one of my favorite recurring bits. Just stellar.

“After what you and Jeff did, you owe me.” ANQKWJRJWJJWNDJSSN. Where else on television will you find an emotionally unwell, violent MILF who tells her husband’s best friend who blackmailed her friends to go jerk off into a trash can? Go on, tell me.

“Hey. Don’t you you dare think about me.” AKQKQOOQJEEIENNWIEIWKWJDNNENEJD. SOBBING.

Tai playing the mediator between Lottie and Shauna.

NOT TAISSA SNOOPING THROUGH VAN’S MEDICINE CABINETS. GIRL FAILURE, DON’T SCREW THIS UP A SECOND TIME.

Van having cared for her mother—despite everything—in the last years of her life. Goddamn.

“I’m mixing my pop culture metaphors ‘cause I’m fucking upset!” AWKWKWKJEDJWJ. Lauren Ambrose is killing it.

“I’m losing my fucking mind, and I’m terrified!” GOD, THAT WAS VISCERAL. The way she can’t admit to not having been this afraid since the woods. The way she can’t ask for help because she doesn’t want to hurt any other people that she loves. She still loves Van . Absolutely fucking devastating.

Tai breaking down in sobs. I’m so upset. 😭 TAIVAN EMBRACE.

No, Yellowjackets, I did not need to be in the bathroom with Randy Walsh failing to jerk off. Thank you for asking.

Nat screaming at Lottie!!!! “She’s preying and profiting.”

Nat breaking the fuck down in front of Lottie.

“You know what he was going through. You started it.” JESUS CHRIST.

“Maybe that’s true, but I need to know.” YELLS, SCREAMS.

Tai following Shauna out into the woods, even though she’s giving her the silent treatment. 😭

“But I’m rightfully freaking the fuck out about having a baby in the middle of the fucking woods, and news flash, having a bunch of psychos praying for me in some weird fucking tree cult isn’t making my life any easier.” GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD.

“I don’t need your fucking prayers. I need you to have my back.” / “I do.” LOSING MY MIND OVER THESE TWO.

IT’S SHAUNA NEEDING SOMEONE TO BE NORMAL WITH HER, AND TAISSA NEEDING TO FEEL NORMAL HERSELF, TO NOT HAVE ANY MORE NIGHTMARES.

NO, NOT LABOR PAINS. OH, GOD.

Misty sobbing over Kristen. Calling her by Crystal twice before she says her actual name. Ugh. Trying CPR to the Bees Gees. Jesus CHRIST.

Can they go into Randy’s room without a warrant???? Kevyn so badly doesn’t want it to be Shauna. I really do appreciate that about him.

NOT MATT SMELLING THE GODDAMN CONDOM. WHAT IS THIS SHOW.

STRAWBERRIES.

LIKE THE LUBE.

UNREAL.

Javi speaking cryptically about someone not telling him to come back, a “she.” 😬

Misty coming up with a believable lie about Kristen, and one of the last things Kristen ever said to her was that she was a bad liar. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Van screaming for Tai and Shauna. Misty calling out for Kristen, even though she fucking knows that she can’t hear her.

THE GIRLS RITUALISTICALLY CHANTING. I’M SO FUCKED UP. AND IT’S WORKING. AND TAI’S DOING IT.

Tai finally sleeping soundly at Van’s. 😭

Oh, my fucking God. Van taking the pills out of the trash can.

SLEEPWALKING TAI. THAT EVIL SMILE. THE WAY SHE BOBS HER HEAD. TERRIFYING.

“This isn’t where we’re supposed to be.” AUHDJDWNH.

“He was seeing some girl. Part of me wanted to ruin it. But another part of me just missed him.” This line of dialogue is so goddamn raw and brutal.

NAT OVERDOSING.

NAT ENVISIONING THAT THEY DIDN’T FUCKING MAKE IT. THOSE BURNED BODIES.

THE ANTLER QUEEN?!?!!

WE BROUGHT IT BACK.

WE BROUGHT IT BACK WITH US:

WHAT THE AFTUAL HELL

NAT LAYING HER HEAD ON LOTTIE’S LAP AND THEY’RE FUCKING TEENAGERS AGAIN. I’M

NO, IT’S ONLY NAT WHO’S THE TEENAGER. SHE’S GONE BACK TO BEINT A CHILD. AND LOTTIE IS STILL AN ADULT, BUT SHE’S SEEING THE SHADOW OF THE ANTLER QUEEN ON THE FLOOR AND

DID ALL OF THESE PEOPLE DIE AND LITERALLY COME BACK WRONG

THIS SHOW

[garden-ghoul]

OH MY GD PERENNIAL HISTORIES... I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARS... I blacked out and when I returned I had transcribed this conversation

PP: I know what y'all believe about Perennial. Which is interesting because to my memory Perennial was... not the Adversary so much as the outsider. Never part of the Fleet. Always just flittering around. Ah... I don't think she was really even with the Collaborate, the other big Divine group. When we were with the Divine Fleet we weren't the only Divines in the galaxy. We built the Fleet because we thought it was the most sustainable, the longest lasting form of relationship between Divines and different types of people. If we had let ourselves go to war we would have died, or they would have died or both. Instead we found unity. But we were not the only Divines in the world and others took a different path. And she wasn't part of either camp, She just sorta showed up one day. So now I wake up and she's the center of the damn galaxy. It's a surprise.

F: Back then, what did she want?

PP: She wanted to learn everything. We had a policy as part of trying to make sure people could join the Fleet which was that we had little knowledge we wouldn't share. We wouldn't share private info, but when it came to knowledge about the galaxy and math and the way of the world... and she consumed that info voraciously. For a Divine, even, which was confusing. Because most Divines come knowing the world. They're built in it and of it. It's like she came from somewhere else. Big galaxy, so... And then I lost track.

PP: Didn't ever join the Fleet. We left the Fleet to start palisade, to start all this. As far as I can tell Perennial never hooked up with anyone in the Twilight Mirage or became part of all that, she just sorta floated somewhere else. And then the Divine Clash happens and she betrays the Divine Principality, supposedly. And then (gestures into the sky referencing the Perennial Wave, her home in the center of the galaxy) Why's she on your mind?

F: What's the best way to put this... to break free of Clem I had to replace that chain with something else. So it's not a... chain. But I'm connected to Perennial in a way I don't fully understand. It feels more like I'm a port on the river.

PP: You haven't tried talking to her?

F: She hasn't reached out to me... It's been very busy around here.

PP: I mean, how can you say she hasn't reached out to you? Look at you.

F: How do you go about doing that?

PP: I have to admit, I've never been on the other side of it.

F: Is there like, etiquette??

PP: There's the etiquette you make with one another. In my experience. I had a number of elects in the time of the Fleet, and I had my preferences, I had my foibles, but everyone had a diff way about em. There were thinks I'd excuse from one that I wouldn't from another, and things I would encourage from some that I would despise, find presumptuous, from others. You feel it out.

F: I don't even know what to say. How do you say 'thanks for saving my life but also are you just as evil as the person you saved me from?' How do you say 'what do you want with me?' I don't wanna ask that, that's fucked up! I just spent a lot of time and energy getting away from someone that's the only question I cared about the answer to!

PP: What's the actual question you wanna ask then?

F: I keep hearing people talk about the wheel. Okay, when this happened, there's also a ghost who shows up sometimes. Do you know who Gur Sevraq is?

PP: The preacher in the Temple? Far as I can tell they're alive and well, unfortunately.

F: No. Not the real one. From his writings that I've read, I've got the real one, but he's all mixed up. But one of the few things he's said to me that makes any sense is, she wants to stop the wheel from turning.

PP: I mean, that makes sense.

F: Sure, but if I want it to make sense it depends on what the wheel is.

PP: What's the wheel you wouldn't want to stop spinning?

F: Like, life? In general? Happiness, joy, self-determination?

PP: She would have stopped them already if that was her goal, right? You worked with the Witch In Glass for how long? If raw damage was the intended output... Maybe what she's trying to say is, try some new shit.

[hidingoutbackstage]

Uhh I’m in a creative block so I can’t give you a specific prompt per se, but something Chamberfield 👀 for love and yuri?

Hell yeah peace love and yuri (putting beneath a cut so as not to clog anyone’s dash but yuri should NEVER be hidden <3 so pls read)

Claire was a special kind of homesick. The kind where she was sitting here, in her two bedroom apartment, at the table eating cereal she’d gotten from the grocery store down the street, while wearing cozy pajamas. In all perspectives, she couldn’t be more home. And yet here she was, missing home desperately, because home wasn’t the two wooden chairs where one slightly rocks and the other creaks when sat on, home wasn’t the couch from a a garage sale with a few cigarette burns and various stains, home wasn’t the nightlight in her bedroom that she’d had since she was a child to keep her from waking up terrified and screaming in the dark.

Home was a person, a person who was currently halfway around the world, a person who Claire could feel as she wore said person’s cozy sweatshirt, as she gazed happily at a framed photo of the two of them on the windowsill, as her sloppy handwritten grocery list hung from the fridge with a heart shaped magnet. Despite the lingering feeling of her presence, Rebecca, Claire’s home, was not here, and Claire was getting sick with yearning.

Claire sighed, finally picking up her phone. She told herself she wouldn’t do this today, but to hell with it. She was missing her girlfriend more and more by the day, and she was growing sick of wanting. She flipped open her phone and went into her contacts. To hell with international cell phone charges too.

Of course Becky picked up, because it was Claire who was calling her. Claire half-expected her significant other to lecture her first about being unable to go a day without talking to her, but that never came. She simply answered the phone with a smile apparent in her voice. She called Claire “darling” as she always did, in that sing-song way she was so fond of that made Claire’s heart melt a little bit.

Bashfully, as if they were teenagers, Claire admitted to Becky why she had called. It was probably a given to both women, but Becky “awww”ed like it was the first time she’d heard Claire say the words “I miss you.”

They made idle chit chat. How was Philosophy University? It was good. How was work at home? It was boring. Have you heard from Chris lately? No, have you? No. Watch anything good recently? Not really, you? Not really. Tried out a new recipe for eggs. Oh how was it? I think I added too much oregano. Oh well, maybe next time. Maybe I’ll make it for you. Sounds perfect.

“I really miss you,” Claire blurted out. She dropped her spoon in her mostly-empty bowl of cereal, making a satisfying clang as it fell.

“I really miss you too,” Rebecca said automatically. “I wish I didn’t have to be out here so long, but-”

“Becky, you don’t have to explain anything. It’s work, I get it,” Claire said with a huff. “I just wish work didn’t separate you from me for so long.”

“Well, that’s what these phone calls are for, isn’t it?” She was trying to be gentle, Claire could tell.

“I know, I know,” Claire groaned. “Gd, I’m so clingy. I don’t know how you aren’t sick of me.”

Rebecca just laughed. “Darling, you know I could never get sick of you.” She made a little kiss noise through the phone. “I love you too much.”

They’d been saying those words for years, but sometimes they’d catch Claire off guard and fill her with youthful giddiness. “Yeah, I know.”

“You should distract yourself more when I’m not there.” Ah, Becky. Always a problem-solver. “Go out and do stuff with your other friends.”

Claire snorted. “What other friends? The ones that are as busy as we are?”

“Work friends, then.”

“Is this your polite way of telling me to fuck off and stop calling you, my dear?” Claire teased. Rebecca scoffed.

“I’m trying to help my lovely wife come up with some things to do in her spare time,” Rebecca said monotonously, clearly not even realizing her verbal blunder. Claire did, though, and straightened up to attention.

“Wife?” she blurted out. Rebecca was silent for a minute. “Hun?”

“…Listen,” Rebecca started, and Claire just burst out laughing.

“Oh, hun, you can’t just call me that and expect me to stop missing you!”

“I think of you like that sometimes, okay? We live together, we’ve been dating for a while, I…some of my students have asked if I have a boyfriend, and…”

“Becky, you are so cute,” Claire teased. “It’s fine. That was adorable.”

Rebecca sighed. “Can I hang up now or will you hate me forever? I’m supposed to be meeting with the university director in a few.”

Claire snickered. “Go on, my wife, go do your school things. I’ll just be here thinking about it for the rest of the day.”

Rebecca sputtered, and Claire could picture the woman’s cute blushing face. “I love you. Bye.”

“Bye, my wife!” Claire called giddily as she hung up.

The sharp pang of homesickness in Claire’s heart had faded, replaced by the soft, warm embrace of love.

[boxwinebaddie]

hi uncle nina!! i hope youre doing okay! i would love a life update. i was also wondering who you think initiates more, jerseykyle or ravenstan? and thats for everything. like kisses, cuddles, and sbst 🤭

eeeee! allo, moya nonneshka! c': <3 xxxx

but before i tornado-type myself into a tizzy and lose my train of thot: thank you so SO much for checking on me, babycakes! :) MWAH!!!

like ( i'm soz ), but the fact that, oof...has it been Several Weeks Now? ( yikes! execute-ive dysfuncle nina strikes again! :/ ) where day in and day out, the only thing i've been servin y'all up is...a big, heapin bowl of: 'go on girl! Give Us NOTHING!,' -- and you were Still willing to take time out of your busy irlife to worry about mine?! tldr; Angel Behavior! heaven wants you back btw, but that's too bad; i'm keeping you. <3

also tysm for the rest of your v precious message as well, lovie~ your... press(h)age? oop...that is,, horrifYINg? ok, what about: thank for your...messcious? ur preshmesh! ya mesh, presh! ...your blessage? you know like *marj vc* your...blessed mess? ( can we tell that i spend too much gd time assisting k-garten and trying to say things like:

'wooooah there, girlpool! no need to get atatudie w/ me, jude-ring! i mean, gee, if i didn't know any better...i'd say it sounds like someone caught...A BAAAD Vibe! uh oh! cowabummer, dude! but thats ok! just be sure to grab a tissue and blow ur nose bc i didnt achoochooocaChoose the rules; i just enforce 'em, booboo kitty!' <3

kssds like...can you tell my skull tell is gettin so soft that you'll prolly be able to stick a straw thru it soon? ( can't lie tho, bbkit is my fav like *me but over it* alr! no cryin in baseball, booboo kitty! Game Time! )

but anyways! onto my life update ( ft. how i've doing for the past few weeks ) which, when i tell y'all i have been waiting for a slow-ment to come along so i can just...catch my breath and catch up, but its been

...A MESS.

sigh.

( alright, fair warning, i HAVE TO ANSWER YOU CANON HC QUES IN ANOTHER ASK BUT I KNOW THE ANSWER!!!! so i will get it done asap, my friend, but i have to seperate them...so this is just nina talks abt skool and how she's been doin...ravesey can go in diff ask. )

but anyways, in essence; i'm busy pretty much every day from 5am in the morning when i am up until probably 4-5pm everyday depending on what prep i have to work out with my lead teacher ( who is a very sweet mid forties early fifty y/old lady who always makes sure i eat breakfast ), as well as getting to and from my job site particularly towards the end of the day...which is not easy when ur a lame, boof, no driving ass bitch like me.

( which, i know talk a lot of shit on myself about it...but oddly enough; i am proud of myself for knowing my limits, valuing my comfort and being the ceo of the bus and slaying on public transport. xx )

but all this to say, i love my job! my lead teacher ( aka educ major slang for the teacher who's class you assist in ) is literally such a nice lady and she has been teaching me so much! i was having a little difficulty getting in the groove because the summer camp kinders aka the children actually taking kindergarten in the fall are pre-kinder basically so they're like...t-k or preschool, almost? which....ooooough.

( i must confess ) i have a age/limit with teaching.

and it's having to do bathroom/mommy anything.

like i’m…ur aunt/unc, your older sister, mom's sbf, but i am noooooot your mom, lol! i am not super maternal. like there was a little girl who on week one was askin for mommy ( which was already driving me NUTS ) but on week three was still doing it and crying i was like...

*me on the playground vc* hEY BATTA BATTA SWING BATTA!!! YOU WANNA GO HOME BB? ME TOO GIRL! YKNOW WHAT? IF U HIT A HOME RUN RN AND YOU CAN GO HOME OTHERWISE! nO CRYIN IN BASEBALL BOOBOO!KITTYGIRL!! STAND UP SOLDIER!!

...but yeah, idk. kindergarten/pre-k has been fun, but i'm more of an older sister-adjacent type teacher who likes to wear crazy outfits, draw you pictures even if i pop a blood vessel in my eye drawing all night bc i think its nice when the kids get excited haha, if you talk while i'm talking, i really will pretend to get my stuff and leave like 'i'm sorry, i thought you were gonna teach the class!', wear all the stickers on my face...all of them especially the really big ones,

will tell u the picture u drew for me is so much better than the baloney pizza whatev that one blue ninja turtle painted, idk, and fall to my knees like ( bonus points if i have no idea what it is ), but if you give me attitude later about putting the toys away and taking your letters out, ill pretend to EAT the sticker i was gonna put on ur work.

( uncle nina stop being a CLOWN, i cannot stop, like omfg so the other day...a TINY five old girl's jacket was brought in for this girl in my class....and tell me why i said! Oh Sorry! That's Mine! ;) AND PRETENDED TO PUT IT ON AND MODEL IT???? HEEELP. my KIDS were dYING!!! my lead teacher was lafffffin, skds. that jacketless little girl was like >:( miss nina thats My Jacket! and i was like, you know what, baby! you are so right...Mine Is Smaller. <3 KLHSLKHKLDSD )

i...did not always use to be like this. i used to be a mousy, nervous gal, who let the sweet, lovely, very loud children walk all over me...BUT! i've been around the block! aka! i've have a block thrown at my head! AND A STAPLER!!!!!! ( that was my favorite kid btw, thx, stink! )

but yeah, a soft-spoken queen in my class asked me if you just 'stop feeling anxious when you're an adult' and i was like N! O! baby! it doesn't get easier when your an adult, but in order to teach you guys things, i have to be brave enough to talk to you and try my hardest! i still get super nervous talking to new people, i get nervous when i think i put my sock on wrong...but that doesn't mean, we should give up! i think you should go right up to a new friend and tell them hi, my name is Blank and my sock feels funny. do u wanna look at it. BOOM.

but also just because...ah, jeez. very cute, the children are...but the nina i was two years ago would be picking kids markers off the floor, packing my kids backups up for them, carrying their things...no, girl. they know better than that. like i specifically have a little girl, who istg, is very stan coded because she wants to do the right thing, but she's a really bad listener, i have to tell her stuff like 749374093 times,

wants me to help her with everything because she's nervous she's gonna mess up ( which, baby i love u but i can't print every letter for you ) and wears impractical things to school, ( which i feel like stan would do...like take 749374930 light up toys and weird pens ) so you know i gotta give her the little 'girl, you can do; i believe in you' and then come back when she's done and go oKAAaY mAdaME??! MISS INDEPENDENT OVER HERE GETS TWO STICKERS FROM ME!!!!!

and conversely, we got kyle coded kids, like, i had a little girl ( my class has had a lotta girls rotate into it idk ) who was smarter than god, but my gooooodness, THAT LITTLE GIRL TRIED IT EVERYDAY! ( she’s a ken n cart too ) i popped my eye blood vessel for that lil lady! bc she RUSHED ME! but no, she was a smart cookie, so she knew that so she used to give to try and cut deals with me, or put stuff on other kids tables or whiiiine and baby, i might have been born at night but...

NOT YESTERDAY NIGHT!

she is going to dismantle whatever kindergarten class she gets put into...best of luck. she is probably going to be our president someday. her vocabulary was bigger than mine. sending light out to that girl.

but okay, i have to end this soon but...i am doing a lot! we have a different theme in my class every week: last week was dinosaurs! we did safari animals, bugs, deep sea creatures, next week....*sigh*

Is Sports. ( y....ay! )

so if i am not around...I AM PROBABLY TIRED! like i didn't want to get into it too much bc it's a lot but the week that i lead teach, like...i did not sleep for two days...i was very sick, it was very, very bad. which is not to say that's gonna happen again but...it's like, i want to post and i want to be present, but when i throw all my energy out there to the little people, i come home spent most of the time...so it's hard to get my fingers to crawl across the computer to do an ask meme or be present when i should rly cook dinner or do some dishes, yknow?

all this to SAY...i am here, but i am...There. i also took such a long break from writing, i am a little scared that i don't know...how to anymore? aaaaa??? but i think i should probably sit down and write ONE THING ONLY ( so if u have one thing u really wanna see hmu ),

i'll probably pop in to do updates every so often, maybe an hc ask a bigger ask if i finish it, but i am busy again starting monday. i will try to keep giving u an rm fun fact if i can remember, but please know, i would love to be here and i wish i could write more...but it's a lot all at once...also? i really did enjoy my break. <3 always take breaks. if i am not around, i promise i am okay! i am probably just being teacher nina, trying to better my life or i am a little tired and need a second.

either way don't be a stranger, and send me stuff any time! i am going to try and go back to answering stuff that's in there again.

-uncle teacher nina, ceo of boo boo kitty...

...girls, boys and children....

Everywhere.

p.s. i hope this wasn't too much info, haha! i hope it was fun its nice to be able to tell you guys about parts of my life! if you ever want pictures or have questions, as long as they aren't too invasive, specifically bc of my student's safety, i will answer em! <3

[closetcasefabray]

hey, i know you don't really write faberry anymore. But I have just read through your just-like-the-movie tumblr posts because I love that story, and I saw you were considering a fic from stevies pov at one point. Would you share? Even in brief, how that would have developed? I still think that would be so interesting!

oh my goodness that’s like in the archives of my mind. but my dream/aspiration of a stevie pov would be similar in tone to @sunsafewriting’s Do a Flip from diego’s pov (if you are a warrior nun fan & haven’t read it, it is the most wholesome gd fic).

but it would also mimic sam’s pov in that it’s v limited moments & glimpses in, but more innocent bc yknow—child. it would start with hs when rachel would join quinn & sam babysitting—stevie likes any excuse to hear rachel sing. stacey likes any excuse to learn about make up & how to do her hair with the girls. she soaks up the time she has with quinn & rachel bc it’s normally just her, stevie, & sam.

it would include times stevie sees quinn & she seems upset as she navigates family & rachel & her sexuality. the glee club friends coming over for study groups & jam sessions. of course graduation. probably a faberry break up over winter break back in lima. a summer home from college as quinn & rachel navigate trying to be friends. a holiday party that winter where quinn & rachel are friends again—quinn blushing when rachel kisses her cheek under the mistletoe. spring break where a bunch of them come back sunburned & sam has hickeys but so does quinn & briefly stevie’s like ???? but obviously not from each other. that summer stevie sees a moving truck—quinn is moving to an apartment in new haven. rachel is moving to an apartment in queens (bc that apt in brooklyn they joke about the rent was STILL a severe underestimate at the time—i think they said $900/mo each?—that space in bushwick circa 2010ish was ~$4,000/mo lol.) & eventually sam takes stevie & stacey to see rachel in a play on broadway. & quinn is there & yeah. it’s all so wholesome.