#SHE NEVER TOOK CALLIE'S FAVORITE TOY OUT OF THE CAR

[jilyandbambi]

labels like psychopathy and sociopathy are too hastily ascribed to Shauna Shipman not least of all because, A) all of the #unhinged behaviors & actions we've seen from her are more accurately attributable to a combination of 1) PTSD, 2) post-partum depression, 3) grief, 4) arrested development

AND-- more importantly insofar as it concerns definitions:

B) the key hallmarks of antisocial personality disorder (the clinical term for sociopathy/psychopathy) distinguishing it from mere jerkass behavior are 1) lack of remorse/regret or guilt for past actions, 2) inability to feel empathy* for others.

*empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another

two things Shauna is not are unempathetic and unable to feel remorse.

From the moment we meet Shauna as a kid she's writhing in guilt, and--I would argue--empathy. The whole reason she can't bring herself to tell Jackie she's planning on going to Brown is that she knows the disappointment will devastate Jackie and she doesn't want to hurt her best friend's feelings. Yes, she resents herself and especially Jackie for this but Shauna's empathy is what paralyzes her and keeps her from being honest.

Adult Shauna is just as capable of remorse/guilt and empathy:

When Tai shows up at her house and confides in her that she's started sleepwalking again, without Tai even having to ask, Shauna invites her to spend the night and promises to watch over her

after Callie shares with her how Shauna's unwillingness to discuss her past has deeply hurt Callie, Shauna acknowledges how her inability to confront her trauma has hurt her child and immediately tries to make amends by giving Callie what she needs and opening up.

And this is without getting into how Shauna's immense guilt and shame over her actions in the wilderness compelled her to punish herself post-rescue by not going to Brown (her dream school) and instead transforming her life into a living memorial to her dead friend.

Even adult Shauna's most violent action--killing Adam--wasn't an act of cold-blooded murder but rather happened as a result of PTSD-induced psychosis, as evidenced by her hallucinating that her journals are missing from the safe in the first place, and the flash to teen Shauna right after she guts him. She wasn't in her right mind. Does that excuse her? No. But killing someone during a bout of psychosis brought on by untreated PTSD is not the same as intentionally killing someone to solve a problem or in a fit of rage.

Is Shauna a violent person? Yes. Is she a selfish person? Yes. Is she self-destructive? Yes. Does she often behave irresponsibly and inappropriately? Yes. Is she dangerous? YES. But these qualities don't make her a psychopath. She's got too much empathy and is too burdened by guilt to have APD.

Shauna Shipman is what 2 1/2 decades of untreated PTSD & PPD + unresolved grief does to a person

[chaos--crossing]

“I’m supposed to be with your sister you know.” Jules smiled at her words, as though their secret wouldn’t get her shunned till the end of time when Callie found out what was going on between them, what had been going on between them for far too long now. Yet as he leaned over and pressed a kiss against her cheek she forgot everything she’d been complaining about a moment ago. Julian had a habit of doing that to her, of making her forget what she was doing and everything else associated with it. A sigh fell from her lips, “you’re going to be the death of me.” he laughed softly in response and she knew that he would never make a single apology for anything. Typical. A second later he was out of the car and walking around her direction. It took her only a moment to remember that if she didn’t get to it first he’d open the car door and escort her… and Warren had always hated that. “Where are we?” she questioned, pulling herself from the passenger seat of the SUV with a thud. “Do you trust me?” like he even had to ask. Instead of responding she rolled her eyes and slipped into his open arm, head on his shoulder for a moment as he placed his hand on her back and guided her forward in the direction of the large house in front of them. They’d driven for an hour, out of the city and into the burbs, where the houses towered in size, nothing like the cabin he’d built on the outskirts or the blueprints he’d drafted for the new skyscraper in the city (though those had never been his favorites to do). These homes were regal, eloquent, where those with the money they didn’t know what to do with lived. “I have a surprise for you.” Warren hated surprises, he knew that. Yet they stood outside of the red door and he lifted a fist to knock at it. Her hazel eyes stayed on him, still questioning. An older woman with dark blonde hair, a toddler on her hip, and another one peering out from around the corner greeted them with a chaotic smile, as if she hadn’t seen the ability to relax in days, “You must be Julian.” she welcomed and ushered them in, “can i get you guys drinks? They’re in the back room. Please excuse the mess. Four under five doesn’t leave me much time to clean ...plus those monsters in the back room…”> was she supposed to have any idea what was going on? She wasn’t even sure Julian was listening at this point. A little boy in a princess dress had taken over his attention, he had to have been the middle of the brood, he was busy showing Jules a toy car with bright green excited eyes as if he didn’t get many new visitors. “Harrison, are you making a new friend?” the woman asked her son as the toddler in her arms started to wrestle into escaping towards Jules too. He was so good with them, with kids and people alike, she’d never understood it. How everyone always seemed to want to attach to him. Who was she kidding? She more than understood it. “Watch out, I can give you one of these to take along with you too. Goodness knows I’ve got enough of them.” the toddler girl who’d previously been in her arms was now crawling her way to Jules, arms outstretched for his attention. “Where are my manners? I’m Josie.” she introduced, hand outstretched. Warren didn’t question it, instead, she reached out her own, “Warren. I’m his…” she looked towards Jules for a second before smiling, “Oh I know sweetheart. He gave me a whole biography. That’s a requirement of mine when you’re taking a rascal home.” Warren looked between them confused. “Oh, this is a surprise, isn’t it?” Josie questioned as Jules nodded, both kids now babbling onto him different stories. “Hazel, Harrison… can you two show him where the doggies are?” suddenly, both little sets of eyes lit up as they both pointed in the direction of a back room. She followed along beside the small crowd that was making their way toward the back room when she started to hear it, tiny whimpers and barks from numerous little voices, “guess he didn’t tell you, my aussie got out a few months ago and decided to tangle up with a husky. I didn’t know what else to do with these monsters. My husband and I were looking for consultation on a new beach house when we mentioned they were coming and boy… your boyfriend here looked like a kid in a candy store. Please, feel free… whichever one you want.” Warren’s eyes lit up instantly as the fenced-in puppies came into view. “The only one you probably don’t want is the one still in the doghouse back there. We’re not sure what’s going on with him… or if he’ll… you know…” as the woman spoke, fluffy brown ears popped up, blue eyes shown out from inside of the dog house as wobbly legs began to fumble to stand, “he’s kind of a grey area for living and d-y-i-n-g” right now.” it was then that Warren finally glanced at Jules who had taken his eyes off of the kids for a moment. He, as he always did, knew exactly what she was going to say without the words having to ever be spoken. “You would” he smirked, voice under his breath as the other puppies scampered around for attention and Warren b-lined it straight back for the clumsy one. “Come on Grey.” lifting up the runt she kissed the top of his head for a moment, name feeling natural and ...right as she nuzzled him closer to her. “Let’s see if we can figure out what’s going on with you, okay?” and just like that, it was sealed.

[thruheavenandhighwater]

Uncle Favorite

Pairing: N/A

Requested by: Anon

Word Count: 987

   Calum loved his nieces and nephews. He loved that they all called him “Uncle Favorite.” He loved how they always wanted to spend the night with him and Duke, because he had the guest bedroom set up with a tv and every gaming system known to man. He loved that they always asked for pancakes in the mornings when they did spend the night. He loved that they all loved Duke and he loved all of them. He had decided fairly early in life that he didn’t want to have kids of his own, but Calum Hood loved being an uncle.

   It was the day before Ashton’s oldest daughter, Callie’s, sixth birthday and Calum had decided to take her out for the day. They had gone out for lunch, to the zoo, and they were now making their way through the entire toy section of Target. Callie was trying to decide between an Ariel doll and a Rapunzel doll, holding one in each hand. Suddenly Calum took both of them from her and put them both into the shopping cart in front of him. Her little face lit up when she saw that she would be getting both of her favorite princesses, making Calum’s own smile grow that much wider.

   “Really!?” She gasped. “I can get two dolls! Daddy never lets me get two dolls.”

   Calum laughed as he knealed down onto one knee so that he was eye level with her. “Well, it is your birthday, and you know I never say no on birthdays.”

   She wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug that he returned happily. “I love you, Uncle Favorite!”

   “Love you too, bug.” He answered, using the nickname that he’d given her as a baby.

   The pair continued through the store, laughing together and picking out toys. Once Callie was sure that she didn’t want anything else, Calum asked her to help him pick one toy for each of her siblings. He always did this for birthdays, claiming he didn’t want to hurt any of their feelings. But Ash and the other guys knew that it was only because he loved spoiling their kids. Once they had toys picked for her siblings, Calum lead her to the kids clothing department and let her pick a brand new birthday outfit.

   “Do you like them?” He asked after helping her to put on one shiny, purple ballet flat. She stuck her leg out and wiggled her foot around, watching the fluorescent lights of the store bounce off the glitter.

   “I love them!” She finally said. “They’re the most prettiest shoes I ever seen!” Calum laughed again as he added them to their growing cart.

   After checking out and loading all of their purchases into the trunk of his car, Calum drove them to a small ice cream shop near his house and let her get the biggest chocolate sundae on the menu. She was was bouncing up and down as she watched them make her sundae behind the counter, her eyes as big as saucers. Once they both had their ice cream they decided to sit outside. Callie drew Calum a picture of the two of them, each with an ice cream and huge green smiles on their faces.

   “This is the best drawing you’ve ever done, bug!” Calum exclaimed when she revealed it to him. She smiled up at him and continued eating her ice cream.

   After finishing their deserts they headed back to Ashton’s house across town. Calum looked in his rear view mirror a few miles down the road to find that she had fallen asleep in the back seat. Smiling to himself, she reached forward to turn down the music he’d been playing so that he wouldn’t wake her.

    When they arrived back at Ash’s house he tried to undo her seatbelt and lift her out of the car as gently as possible, still trying not to wake her. Ashton met him at the door and Calum handed her off to him. She stirred slightly, but stayed asleep as Ash carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. When he returned a few minutes later, Calum was in the kitchen talking to his wife as she was cleaning up from dinner.

   “So, you two had fun today?” He asked, adding a plate to the dishwasher.

   “You know me and lil C-Dizz always have fun.” Calum answered, making everyone laugh.

   “And I’m sure you bought everything at Target again,” Ash’s wife said, giving Calum an accusing look from across the kitchen.

   “You know I don’t say no on birthdays!” He said, putting his hands up defensively. She laughed again and told Ashton to go help Calum unload his car.

   The two went out to his car and started to unload bags, setting them on the driveway. Calum pointed out to Ash which of the toys were meant for his other children as they did so. Ash just laughed and said “I’m starting to think the reason they all call you Uncle Favorite is because you buy their love.” Calum smiled back at him, letting out a small giggle. Once they had everything out of his car, Calum made his way back to the front of his car, pulling his keys from his pocket. Ash waved him off from his front porch as he drove away.

   When Calum arrived home, he took the drawing that Callie had done for him and hung it up in the guest bedroom with all of the other drawings that his nieces and nephews had done over the years. He grinned when he noticed that two of the four walls were almost covered by now. He took a step back from the wall and looked up at them, arms crossed in front of him as he started to recall various memories associated with each of them. His smile grew even wider, Calum Hood loved being an uncle.

~~~~~

Ah! This is so cute! And it was so much fun to write! I hope whoever requested it enjoys what I came up with. As always, any and all feedback is very much appreciated. And, if you’d like to be added to my taglist for 5SOS fics, just let me know! Thanks!

-Desiree

Taglist: @crownedbyluke @cocobuttercalum

[authorgirl1111]

Emperors daughter Ch 13

Chapter 1 

Chapter 12                                                                                                                                              Johnny walks her to her apartment building, and, he spends the entire time talking to Selina. He makes her laugh, and occasionally he directs a question to Brenda. Brenda was never one to act shy, so she answers every question that she can. “Red!” She answers proudly when he asks Brenda, her favorite color. “She’s adorable” He insists. “You’re very lucky.” She smiles grateful, “Thank you” “Who’s the Father?” He asks softly. She sighs. “Different from the one in my womb” She says. “Momma says she has a baby in her tummy” Brenda says patting Selina’s stomach. “And in 3 months I’ll get to meet the baby, momma says she’ll be my little sister, but that’s silly babies don’t belong in someone’s tummy, why would a baby be there?” “I think that’s an answer for another day” He tells the little girl. Brenda seems to pout. “Momma never answer that question either!” She says annoyed. “Because you’re to young piccola” She tells Brenda. “I’m not piccolo, I’m grande!” She says holding her hands wide apart. Johnny can’t help but laugh. “You’re of no help” She mutters to Johnny.  She stops at the apartment building, the store wasn’t that far, so she saw no need to take her car. “Thanks for the walk.” She says, before she pulls Brenda inside. “I liked it, I was wondering… could I give you my number?” Johnny asks. Selina stops and stares at Johnny. He’s not a god, he’s (as far as she can tell anyway) human, he’s kind. He seems interesting. To be honest she’s quite interested in getting to know him better. She smiles. “Sure” ---     Other men when they realise she has a child, and another on the way. Don’t want to look at her. When they realise that the two children are by two completely different people they get a look of disgust in their eyes. Johnny doesn’t do that. He tries to be understanding. He listens when everything gets hectic, when the fear that she’s going to fail gets to much. He makes her laugh. He can play the guitar and it always seems to have this type of magic over her and is able to calm her down within a matter of seconds.   Brenda warms up to him quickly, she likes his stories, of Egyptian mythology. Of Ra, and Apophis of Horus, Osiris and Set. Brenda’s enraptured, and Selina allows him to tell the stories. “Any truth to the tales?” She asks him. After he’s had dinner at her house, and she’s putting the dishes in the sink. “There’s truth to every story told” She smiles. “You’re being purposefully evasive” She complains. “Do you believe the myths you tell are real.” “Do you believe the Greek and Roman myths are real? The Norse?” She stares at him for a moment, her heart beating far to fast. “What do you know about me?” “That you’re a single mother of two half siblings” He says. “Not much outside of that” Brenda’s running around in the living room. Pretending she’s an airplane. “Brenda be careful sweetie.” Brenda stops and pouts but then she starts banging on her little drum set. “Think you should give her lessons?” Johnny asks covering his ears. “Oh probably” Selina says. “Maybe when she’s older and can sit still long enough to be actually taught.” --- Callie Maglieri is born in a hospital like the one that Brenda was born in. Natalie came in running, drove over night to see the beautiful girl being born.  She has blond fuzz growing out her head. She’s tiny the size of her hand. Her cries are beautiful, and she knows that people will crowd from all over to her voice. She does not stop crying until she’s placed in her mother’s arms. “Hey Callie” She whispers to the little girl. “You’re so cute.” “She’s so beautiful” Natalie gushes. “Can I hold my niece” Selina nods she hands the baby over to Natalie while Brenda jumps on Selina’s lap. “Was I that pretty?” She asks. “Of course, all babies are pretty in their mother’s eyes.” Brenda smiles and leans against her mother’s chest. --- Johnny comes by a couple of weeks later. Arms filled to the brim with toys. “We’ve only known each other a couple of months” She says surprised. “You didn’t have to do this” “Yeah, well with taking care of Brenda, and work, I figured you hadn’t had time to get little Callie any toys.” “You’re too much Johnny” She says. "Nonsense you're kid deserves the best" He says. "I'm happy to help." "Seriously how did you even afford this." "I have my ways." Johnny says with a smile. ---- Brenda’s Birthday comes and Natalie drives all the way up as per usual to help celebrate. She seems to take a special liking to Johnny. He can make everyone calm. So, she’s not surprised that Natalie takes a liking to him.  He has a fascination with Greek Mythology, so she’s not surprised when their wrapped in a discussion of different mythologies.  With Selina occasionally throwing in a quip on Roman mythologies. He gives Brenda a gift, a fake wooden toy sword. She starts lashing it around the house. She takes it away from Brenda, when she nearly breaks a lamp. “Not now, Brenda” “But I’m your wittle fighter” Brenda says with a pout. “You are, and you can practice fighting with this sword when you’re not near your younger sister.” She says with a half glance at Johnny. “I read that Brenda in some regions means Sword, I took a guess” He says sheepishly. “Too soon?” Selina rolls her eyes. Natalie gives Brenda a box full of Legos. Selina gives Brenda an new book full of Norse Myths that has more myths then her old story book. --- Neither of them asks each other if they are dating, if they want to start dating, it’s a lot more gradual then that. Most of the time when Johnny and she go anywhere, they take the kids along.  So, she never actually considers it a date. They hang out at the zoo, Callie is hanging from her pouch. Brenda adores the gorillas. She laughs at there growling and their calls.  Though Callie seems terrified. Callie herself has a fascination with swans. Selina is holding tightly to Johnny’s hand. She hears people cooing at the adorable couple and their kids. A few even say that their kids are adorable. Johnny places and arm around her shoulders. Selina corrects them at first but then decides that it isn’t worth the effort. “Sorry about all that” She says. Johnny shrugs. “Being considered the father of your kids is probably the second-best thing” Selina laughs. “OH yeah, What’s the first?” “Being their father” Selina looks at Johnny in surprise. Half expecting to laugh and state he’s joking, but he’s being honest. It’s the first time they kiss. --- It’s late at night and they are still up talking, it’s Saturday and Selina don’t have to be at work and they’re just sitting by talking. “What do you like to do?” Johnny asks. “I mean besides taking care of Brenda and Callie.” “Hey, I adore my kids” Selina argues, but she sighs. “I played the violin, and I’ve sung on occasion.” Johnny whistles. “Nice, how are you on the violin” “I once played in an Orchestra, The New York Orchestra.” She says by way of explanation. “How old are you?” he asks as though he can’t believe it. “23” She says. “Wow” Johnny says. “Were the hours too awkward?” He says. “With taking care of Brenda, and Callie on the way?” “I auditioned for an orchestra here” She says taking a sip of tea. “Turned down, but after I was turned down I realized that the hours would have been awkward, so I applied for a waitressing job and I got it.” “How’d you get into the orchestra?” “I used to be a street performer in Boston, and a scout from New York-” “Your making that up.” Johnny said. “You were a street performer in Boston?” “Are you going to let me finish?” Silena says. Johnny raises a hand and leans back to let her finish. “Anyway, a scout from New York said I sounded too good to be playing on the street, and he gave a card and said that the New York Orchestra was looking for violin players. I auditioned, and I got the part, and so I moved to New York, where I eventually met Callie’s father.” “What led you to move here” Silena goes silent. Johnny waits and eventually she looks up. “Can we talk about that later?” She asks, pleading with him slightly. “I… I don’t want to talk about it.” Johnny nods in understanding.   She knows she can’t keep this up forever, but… she can’t tell him about the mythological side of herself. Not yet. --- Johnny and Silena have known each other a year, when he reveals his big secret. He’s a magician of the house of life.  He’s an Egyptian magician. Because of course he is. She can’t have one ordinary boyfriend, can she? No, they all must be related to some kind of mythology. All have to be some kind of supernatural being don’t they? She’s not even mad at Johnny she’s mad, at herself for not seeing it sooner. --- She doesn’t talk to him for days after the reveal, and Johnny gives her the space to deal with the news. After making sure she won’t tell anyone. She insists  to tell Natalie, that Natalie has kept so many of her secrets she won’t reveal this one, and Johnny must have seen something on her face because he relents rather quickly to her surprise. On the one hand this could be everything she’s wanted. This could be the protection she was looking for, from her father from everything. Truth is she’s just so blind sided every other magical being she’s dated she knew was immortal before they started dating. This throws her for a loop. “So what’s the problem?” Natalie asks. “Does this in anyway change him?” “Makes a few things make a bit more sense but otherwise… no.” “Then…?” Silena sighs. “He told me his secret, I… I don’t know if I’m ready to tell him mine.” “You told me yours” Natalie argues. “I was hoping you would run away in terror” Silena says dryly. “I actually want this guy to stay, also he’s Egyptian, I’m Roman, Egypt and Rome do not have a good history.” “So, the worst that could happen is that he leaves you, after all your other boyfriends him leaving should be easy for you.” “You’re not helping.” Natalie sighs. “You want some good news?” “Yeah?” “I’m seeing someone, and so is Fredrick” Her eyes widened. “Oh yeah? Who?” “Frey” “Frey… as in the Norse god Frey?” “Yep” “As in lord of Alfheim Frey, as in god of summer, Frey” “Yep” She rubs her forehead. “Well shitake mushrooms” She says with a half glance at Brenda who’s quiet looking over the mythology story book she recently got for her birthday. Callie is sleeping in her car seat. “Wait until I tell who Fredrick is seeing” “Who?” “Athena” “The Virgin Goddess?” “At least we know an unexpected child can’t appear from that union” “Well she and Hephaestus had a child together through a napkin so… anything’s possible.” Brenda looks up curiously but Silena gives her a kiss. “Later” “Oh yeah” Natalie says with a chuckle. “I forgot about that.” “Let me know how it goes.” --- She agonizes for days over how and what to tell him, when it comes to her. She doesn’t want him to stay for some misconception version of her, she wants him to stay for the real her. For the real Brenda and the real Callie, and if he can’t handle her then… she needs to move on. --- “Johnny?” “Yeah?” “Can you come over tonight? Around nine or so after the kids are put down? You and I, we need to talk.” “Are you dumping me?” Silena smiles against the phone bitterly. “No, but if we’re going to give this a try, there are things about me, I want you to know, things you need to know, about my past, about Brenda and Callie’s fathers.” Johnny stays quiet for a long time. “I’ll be over.” --- He comes over, and she talks, she tells him everything, of her father, of her mother of her first love, of her move to Boston and meeting Tyr, all the way to New York and her move to Dallas. She stays silent once she’s finished and waits for him to say something anything. He takes her in his arms, and she releases a breath she didn’t even know she was holding and she can feel herself letting out several years worth of tears. She breaks down crying on his lap at first trying to keep as quiet as possible so as not to wake the kids, but Johnny whispers an Egyptian word that she must assume means along the lines of ‘muffled’ or ‘quiet’ and she lets herself cry as loud as possible. Holding nothing back. Johnny just holds her tightly as she cries herself to sleep. --- Now that they know each other’s secrets, Johnny starts to be more free with his past. She finds out he started training and learning at the age of 6, in ancient Egypt. She learns that his preferred form of magic is music (Something that pleases her immensely) but he’s also quite proficient in certain elements. Like water and fire. And Hieroglyph magic. She tells him about her childhood, about her first love, about how her mother used to play the violin, about her twin. About her siblings. About the good times in her life, about… About her first love. Not in an overbearing way, not in a flyby way, but in a ‘it’s good to get this off my chest way’ It’s nice. He tells her of his dreams, of how he loves being a magician of the highs and lows of being one. Of how he hated the constant practice, but how he likes how the magic sets him apart from everyone else. --- He takes her to visit his parents who live at the nome in Texas. They eat dinner in a private room in the nome and they seem suspicious of her at first, but Selina is honest and polite, and slowly the suspicion dies away. Mrs. O'Hare adores little Callie and loves holding the young Grecian demigod in her arms. Mr. O'Hare takes a special liking to Brenda who finds her eagerness to fight to be a little charming. --- “Did you always know what form you wanted your magic to be?” She asks. “Not exactly, it’s not so much a pick and choose it’s more a case of what type of magic fits your personality, a person who prefers to have both feet on solid ground, and is no nonsense, would have a hard time seeing into the duat” Selina nods. She doesn’t completely understand what the duat is, as far as she can glean it’s something of an inner world that runs parallel to the physical world, parts of it can be used to mask parts of the mythological world from human eyes. She later tells him that the shield that hides the mythological world is called ‘the mist’ in roman and Greek mythologies. Which he argues is the ‘stupidest name he’s ever heard of’. To which she replies that it’s just a good a name as Duat. To which they both glare then proceed to glare at eachother, before the pair of them break out laughing. --- “Ha, ha, ha” “It’s not funny!” “Really? cause from my point of view it’s hilarious” “My brother was traumatised.” Selina sobers when she here’s that. “Really?” “OK he’s very freaked out, a baby just appears the fuck out of nowhere, with Athena telling him it’s his.” “Did she explain how?” “Something about the joining of minds and souls, or something, I don’t know, Fredrick was too freaked out to make much sense.” "Well Athena was born through Zeus's head..." She says with a shrug." "He tried to give the baby back, and have the girl raised on Olympus" "I'm sure Athena was pleased" "She refused to take the baby back." Natalie said softly. "And threatened to curse Fredrick to a lifetime of failure if he dared ask that of her again." "Yeah, the gods don't like their gifts rejected, what's the girl's name?" "He's decided to name her Annabeth..." "Least she'll have a cool aunt..." "And cousin" "What?" "I'm pregnant with Frey's child" ... "Congratulations" Silena says unsure of what else she should say. ---     Johnny smiles at her and takes her hand. “I have something I need to ask of you.” “You can ask me anything Johnny.” He get’s down on one knee and a ring box in his hand. “Will you marry me?” She smiles. “Of course!” She says. He slips the ring on her finger before he gives her a kiss.   

Chapter 14

[ethicallysourcedhumanmeat]

Practically Impractical

[Previous][First][Next][Masterpost]

 Part 9

“You’re certain that there’s nothing we should be worrying about,” Jumin asks in the car.

“It’s fine,” she responds sharply. “It’s a totally innocent security gig, he’s not even hacking he’s just writing a security system and he has to make sure it’s implemented properly. Saeren went with to help him field test it once it’s live. They’ll be home the end of the week.”

“And you’re certain you want to consider staying in that bunker alone until then?”

“I’m not alone, remember there’s a whole small person living with me?”

“You and Max could stay with me while Saeyoung is away.”

“You know that’s not a great idea right now Jumin, maybe if Max was with her Dad. You are welcome to stay with us though.”

“Your home is not appropriately cat proofed.”

“I want you to remember you said that,” she laughs.

She appreciates that he is inviting her and Max both to stay, she knows that is a big step for him but the gossip sites had been particularly well informed lately and more than once they both had thought they’d seen the woman who’d posed as a reporter. Jumin had chalked it up to paparazzi but Callie wasn’t so sure.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to argue,” Jumin sighs. “I really did want to take Max shopping, I just feel uncomfortable when I know you’re alone.”

Jumin had long since giving up trying to take her shopping but she could never say no to letting him spoil Max, and the child did love to shop. He knew they had nothing planned so he’d shown up unannounced and invited them to go shopping and then perhaps the park. Max had literally dropped what she was doing to change while her mother had given him what he could now tell was a warning look but she’d also gone to change after cleaning up the box of legos Max had dropped.

She cheered up slowly as they shopped. It was hard to frown when Max would come running over to them with a shirt or a dress asking her mother what size she wore; Callie would smile, thank her for thinking of her, and send her off to find something from the children’s section. In the end Jumin had whispered her sizes to the world’s smallest personal shopper and told her to pick something out for her mother.

Max picked out an entire outfit, shoes and jacket included.

“It’s only fair,” she whispered to Jumin when she called him over, since he was buying her a five piece suit, that he buy her mother at least five things.

“Alright, show me what you’ve found, quick before she comes back.”

Max holds out a flowing gauzy tunic with a pair of skinny jeans and runs off to retrieve the rest. She comes back with a leather bike jacket and a tall pair of black boots with a heel that could have doubled as a weapon, and when he takes those she presents to him, like the cherry on top of the perfect outfit, a large amber pendent.

“It’s her favorite,” she whispers conspiratorially to him.

He nods and winks at her, and as he catches sight of Callie’s hair coming around the corner, he sends Max to stall and finds someone to take their things to the counter until they’re done.

“Max, I told you no toys today, not until you go through the ones at home you don’t use.”

“Fine,” Max chirps glancing back to Jumin.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Jumin asks.

“No,” she shrugs. “I don’t know what I was looking for to be honest.”

“I suppose I should pay then?” Jumin smiles and her eyes narrow.

“And then the park?” Max asks.

“Yep,” they say together.

The girls wait by the doors. Callie appreciates that Jumin seems to enjoy buying things for Max but she has an aversion to seeing the number on the register increase.

“Don’t think I don’t know that that is too many bags for what my daughter picked out.”

“I swear on my life,” he smiles at her, “that your daughter personally picked every item in these bags.”

“Mmhmm,” she nods unconvinced.

Jumin is relieved that there are not many people at the park. He found the chaos of the play structures overwhelming at times. Today it seemed that most of the children were elsewhere, only two or three were playing on the big plastic structure that Max took off running towards. Callie had walked to the picnic table with him taking off her boots and tucking them under the seat.

He watches her run to catch up, and then chase Max up the slide. They play together for a while before Max seems to strike up with one of the other children. He watches Callie talk to Max and her new friend from the Monkey bars, he watches her ‘skin the cat’ then back again. The girls laugh when the floppy collar of her shirt falls on her face and she stops upside down to pretend to fight with it.

He doesn’t notice the man walk up to him until he’s leaning against the table.

“Kind of overdressed for a playground,” the man says in broken Korean

“Am I?” Jumin answers in English. He looks at the man beside him, a wide shouldered American in a hoody with the word ARMY across the chest and a ball cap. There was something familiar about him and Jumin tries to remember where they’d met. Normally he had no problem but this man’s name was escaping him.

“She traded up I guess?” He grunts. “Kid probably couldn’t afford her.”

“I’m sorry?” Jumin turns to the man as it hits him. This is Max’s father.

“She always did like to spend other people’s money.”

“T,” she says sharply, suddenly beside him. “What are you doing here? What did you say to Mr. Han?”

“Nothing he doesn’t know.”

Jumin glances back to the play structure where Max is scaling the rope bridge. The way she says his name, formally as if this is just business, he can’t stand it.

“Toby I know you’re leaving soon please try to be an adult about this for once in your life.”

“When you get to act like a petulant teenager.”

“When, T? When do I get to act like a petulant teenager? When do I have time for that?”

“You spend all day playing video games and singing to yourself.”

“Doing my job, that’s my job T. Remember when your child support payments were lowered because I have a job?”

“You couldn’t have gotten a job when we were married though, right Amy?”

“At what studio, Toby, we were in the middle of nowhere, I got a job when we split because I moved where the work was, and my job sent me here.”

“Lucky break you got there with this rich idiot footing your bills, Amy.”

“Holy shit T, Jumin is my friend but he’s also my fucking Boss.”

“Friend huh, is that what you tell that kid you live with?”

“Are you done?”

“I’m sorry I’m not sure what you’re implying,” Jumin says. “Amelia is paid a fair wage for an above board job, which she appears to excel at.”

“Yeah, you pay Amy for some kinda job,” he grunts. “I got plenty of pictures Amy.”

“I fucking knew it.”

Both men look at her.

“Of course you have pictures, I knew that chick was following me.”

“Oh sure,” Toby rolls his eyes.

“T tell your PI that she’d be less conspicuous if she didn’t act like the entire world was a film noir.”

“Who fucking cares she says she’s got all I need.”

Jumin watches two of the three kids leave the play structure with their mothers. Amelia and her ex-husband speak in low voices but at the rate the conversation is deteriorating he’s not sure they won’t be yelling at one another very shortly.

“What do you need? What do you think she has? Pictures of Jumin and I eating together, or at work functions? Pictures of Luciel and I getting groceries, of Max with me and my friends, healthy, happy and cared for? Are you trying to build a case to take her back with you? You’ve got shit.”

He folds his arms in front of his chest and gives her a look that would have normally had her bending over backwards to make amends but she’s sick of this.

“Our daughter is not a pawn in some game you’re playing,” she practically spits at him.

“Take your own advice.”

“I’m not going to defend myself. I’ve never said a negative thing to her about you, I’ve excused your absences, I’ve defended you when she’s upset about the way you talk about my friends and myself.” She throws her hands up. “T, if you feel like you need to put Max through this again I can’t stop you. If that’s the route you wanna take? But honestly you know who that is over there, and my fiancé, the guy you keep calling kid isn’t far behind him? They fucking love Max, as much as I do. If you think Luciel or Jumin are going to just let me fight you alone or let you take her you’ve lost your mind.”

“Are you threatening me.”

“Do I look like I am? Listen you can get your military appointed attorney and have them contact me, Jumin has already offered to have his lawyers go over our agreement. Or you can go over there and plan something with your daughter before your exercise is over.”

She watches her ex-husband stomp towards the play structure and looks around for Jumin. It’s not until Max jumps into her father’s arms that Callie see’s Jumin stand up from inside the big plastic submarine. She holds her breath, when had he walked away? When had the other children left? Had Max heard them arguing.

She watches Max take a few steps away from Toby and glance at Jumin. Jumin shrugs and smiles and she steps back towards her Dad. Callie watches Jumin standing with Max and she wants to go over. Stand with him, lean on him, bury her face in his neck but she can’t. Not just because they’re in public but because her heart is pounding and she’s trying to catch her breath.

She watches Max’s smiling face and inhales shallow through her nose. Toby leans down and hugs Max and Callie exhales the breath she was holding. She wants to sit under the table, the world feels too big suddenly, but Toby is walking away and Max is barreling full force towards her. She takes a few more shallow breaths and braces for impact.

Jumin makes eye contact with her as he walks towards them and Max chatters excitedly about all the things she’d going to do at her Dad’s. Max’s excitement overflows during the drive home, a whole week with her Dad, she can’t wait. She makes lists of things to pack, and Callie does her best to keep breathing until finally they’re home and Max has disappeared into her room to pack.

Callie drops to the couch and slides onto the floor in the tight space between the couch and the table. She throws her hands over her head and buries her face in her knees. Jumin listens to her take ragged gasping breaths.

“Are you ok?”

She shakes her head no.

“Can I do something?”

Another no.

He reaches out for her and stops, she may not want to be touched and he doesn’t want to make this worse. He looks towards Max’s room but she doesn’t appear to be coming out anytime soon. He sits on the couch near her and after a moment she moves closer to him, and soon enough her face is buried in his neck her arms are at her sides and he holds her as tight as he can.

Eventually the gasping breaths turn shallow and then deep. Jumin pulls her into his lap and runs his fingers through her hair until quite suddenly, red eyed and wet faced she stands up.

“You want a drink? I’m getting a drink, would you like something.”

“Are you ok?” He asks again.

She waves him off. “Wine? Tea? A bathtub full of bourbon?”

“Would you like to talk about it.”

Her eyes narrow and then she turns towards Max’s room. “Not right now.”

As if on cue the wild haired 8 year old bursts out of her room, three backpacks hanging off of her. “Mr. Han we forgot something!”

“You’re right,” Jumin smiles remembering the bags in the trunk of his car. He extends a finger towards Max and texts Driver Kim to be sure he is still outside.

The co-conspirators leave Callie alone for a moment while they gather the bags from their shopping trip. When they come back in she’s sitting at the kitchen table behind a glass of wine, she’s pale but she looks better.

Max shoves a wrapped box onto the table in front of her and almost knocks her glass over. Callie looks at Jumin and he shrugs.

“Mr. Han let me pick out an outfit for you!” She smiles.

Callie frowns at Jumin. “Did you just use my daughter as a loophole.”

“I saw an opportunity and I seized it.”

She opens the box and coos over its contents. Max beams and it seems that all is well. Max disappears into her room to finish packing.

“I should call a taxi and take her to her Dad’s.”

“Amelia I can have Driver Kim take you.”

“No,” she sighs.

“Will you be alright, would you like me to come.”

She snorts. “Yeah, but no. I don’t know. No.”

They don’t speak for a while. Callie tries on the jacket and the boots as something to do, to avoid talking about it and then looks back at Jumin who doesn’t appear to have moved.

“Would it be wrong to just say goodbye to her here and have Driver Kim take her to her father’s?”

“You have done that before.”

“It’s stupid and malicious, and maybe I am just a petulant teenager.”

“I could accompany her and then come back here.”

“Wouldn’t that just be fucking perfect.”

“Is he going to be a problem?”

She takes a deep breath and opens her mouth as if she’s about to speak, but then she shrugs and breaths out. “I don’t know. He talks big and he did hire someone to stalk me but there’s no way she has any photo’s that are even a little worrisome, it’s not like anyone can get past the gate without me or a Choi twin and there’s a zero percent chance she got close enough to the penthouse to get anything even remotely useful for him. He could make me travel back to the states more than I can afford to while trying to do my job, but I don’t think he really has a chance unless he plans to retire but even then,” she shrugs. “He’s probably just trying to scare me; I don’t usually take the bait.”

“You’re human,” Jumin takes her hand. “It was very difficult not to step in. I did not want to escalate the situation.”

“Jesus no Jumin, I appreciate you keeping Max away from that. I lost control, it’s not fair for me to do that in front of her or you, thanks.”

“It wasn’t fair for your ex-husband to provoke you,” Jumin adds. “You’ll do better next time.”

“Next time?”

“We’ll drop Max off together,” Jumin smiles, “and if he attempts to provoke you again I will give him my attorney’s card.”

She hadn’t really wanted to leave the bunker, but he’d convinced her. He was not normally given to haranguing her into doing anything but he had never seen her as shaken as she’d been when they’d gotten back from the park. He’d considered leaving it and suggesting Assistant Kang invite herself over, but he knew that both women would have something to say about that.

After they’d dropped Max off at her father’s without incident she’d sat as far from him in the car as she could and he worried that he’d crossed a line somewhere. He watched her reflection in the window, she looked tired and pale. He considered contacting his doctor when they got to the penthouse when he heard her sniff.

He sat very still in his seat and watched her wipe away a tear with her thumb. He had never seen her cry until today, he’d not seen her emotions get the better of her. Even after everything she’d been through with Mint Eye she’d only raised her voice once. He’d considered comforting her but it was not something he was particularly skilled with. Perhaps he should contact Saeyoung, he always seemed capable of making her smile.

She rests her head against the glass and he makes eye contact with her reflection.

“Hey,” she smiles at him weakly.

“Amelia,” he starts but she looks away.

“Can you not call me that tonight?”

“I’m sorry,” Jumin says.

“No it’s just every time you say Amelia I hear him calling me Amy and I just,” she exhales, “I can’t.” She doesn’t look at him but she reaches out and brushes her fingers over his before squeezing his hand.

He squeezes back. “Calliope,” he starts and she looks at him, a small genuine smile forming on her lips. “If you really would rather not come with me that is alright.”

“No you’re right,” she twists her mouth and frowns. “I’m probably better off not being alone for now.”