#SERIOUSLY your het nonsense needs to be stopped

[wildernessuntothemselves]

How Do You Do

Word Count: 1.4k

Genre: smut

Summary: Chan is the thottie life guard at your beach that’s been trying to het into your pants since forever but hasn’t exactly earned it. 

“It’s the big event today.” Chan’s voice rings out from over the counter, and you get up from trying to look for a certain bottle of liquor to look at him. ”Will you cheer me on, babe?”

“Depends.” You smirk, pushing your arms against the counter, the action emphasizing your breasts in the bikini top you are wearing and drawing Chan’s attention to your cleavage.  “Only if you put on a good show for me.”

You know he will. He’s always trying to impress you. It’s kinda adorable. And despite his bravado, he blushes at your words and mumbles, “I always put on a show for you.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!” He yelps, and thrusts a bottle of sunscreen in your hands. You look at him quizzically and he regains his cocky facade. “Help me put the sunscreen on. I don’t want to get sun burned while I’m rocking your world.”

You roll your eyes, “Alright, come back here, handsome.”

Chan obeys, dimples on full display. You stand behind him, squeezing some sunscreen on your hand before smearing it on his shoulder blades. Running your hands along his shoulders and down his bulging arms, you have to admit, the boy is ripped.

As if he can hear what you’re thinking, he says, “You’re focusing so much on my arms, baby. You like my muscles?”

“I do.” You don’t miss a beat, massaging said arms. “Hmm, what a big boy.”

You can’t see his face but you can see the way his ears turn red and you know you’ve successfully flustered him. Satisfied, you let your arms drop to his pecs where you “accidentally” brush your fingers over his nipples and get rewarded with the whimper he clearly tries to hold in. 

For good measure, you sweep over his nipples again, this time eliciting a weak moan from him, before your hands move to his lower abdomen, rubbing the cream in circles and feeling his abs clench under you. 

You know he’s getting turned on, and just for fun, you breathe against his ear as you swirl your fingers just over the waistband of his shorts. Chan shivers and tries to pull away. 

“Okay, t-thank you.” He stutters, moving away but you pull him back against your chest. “I haven’t done your legs yet, baby.” 

“That’s okay. I’ll do them myself.” He struggles to say, but you immediately shut him down. 

“Nonsense.” You say firmly, “Turn around, Channie.” 

He hesitates before obeying, a grimace on his face as he turns around, flustered and taking sneaky glances at you. You don’t even acknowledge the tent in his shorts. Instead, you squirt more sunscreen onto your palm and get on your knees. 

“W-what are you doing?!” Chan yelps, but you just wrap your hands around his calves and work the sunscreen into his skin, making your way up his legs silently, focused. By the time you reach his thighs, he’s panting and his dick is straining against his shorts, almost as if it’s trying to reach your mouth that was just in front of it. Slipping your hands just under the legs of his shorts, you look up at him. His breath hitches as he holds your gaze for a second before you break it and stand up. 

“There. All done.” 

Chan’s knees almost give way and he stares at you in shock. “But---”

“The competition is going to start soon.  Run along now, baby boy. You have some impressing to do.” 

You laugh to yourself as you watch Chan limp to the men’s room.

____________

And boy did he impress. He won all the competitions he participated in. 

Naturally, he was strutting towards you by the end of the day, confident and waiting for you to fawn over him. 

“Look, baby girl. I won.” He puffs his chest out, displaying his trophies for you. 

“You sure did.” You smirk, and he frowns at your lack of fawning. “Don’t I get a reward?”

"What about all those trophies?"

He pouts, setting them on the bar and coming around to you even though he wasn't allowed to do that. "I meant a reward from you."

You cock your head to the side and move close to him, pressing your body against his. “Yeah, like what?”

He pauses for a second, flushing at your closeness, before saying, “A kiss would be nice.” 

You laugh, brushing his hair back. “You’re cute.” 

Chan frowns. “I’m not cute. I’m sexy.” He complains, voice slurring. “When will you take me seriously?”

“Maybe when you stop ordering tons of drinks from me just so you’d have the chance to talk to me.” You say and he whines. “So you know I like you! Why are you playing so hard to get then?”

“Because baby,” You purr, brushing your nose against his. You push him against the counter and place your knee between his legs, pressing your thigh against his dick. “You don’t impress me the slightest bit. I eat boys like you for breakfast.” 

“What do I have to do?” He whimpers, using the chance to grind against your thigh. “I’ll do anything for you.” 

“I know you will.” You kiss along his jaw and down his neck, making him buck harder against your thigh. “I could suck you so good, you wouldn’t have anything else to give another woman. I could edge you so long you’d cum on command. I could fuck you so good, you won’t be able to get your pretty dick off without my pussy again.” 

You bite down on his neck, making him groan and throw his head back in ecstasy. 

“But I won’t. You wanna know why?”

He lets out a weak sad moan, shaking his head at your question and desperately waiting for you to explain. 

“Because you haven’t earned it.”

“How do I earn it?” He says right away, breathless and needy. 

“Prove that you’re more than just a pretty face and show me that you can handle what I have to give.” You explain, running your fingers around his nipple oh-so-slow. “Start by giving yourself a ruined orgasm. If you can handle doing that without trying to save it, then maybe I’ll touch you.” 

______________________

He tries. He tries so much but he always fails, jerking himself off just as he pushes himself over the edge, unable to take the pain that comes with cumming untouched. 

Weeks pass by, and you feel disappointed. You really thought Chan could do it. But maybe he figured it would be easier to get a girl that would let him fuck her without any ifs or buts, and he had no shortage of that. He’s gorgeous for fuck’s sake. So yeah, you’re disappointed. You shouldn’t have put so much faith in a fuckboy like him. 

But then he surprises you. 

You had just participated in a wet t-shirt contest, not really taking into consideration if Chan will watch you or not. You figured he had already given up on you. But he shows up, standing in the audience and never taking his eyes off of you, not even sparing a glance to the other girls. You can feel his gaze eat your body up as the water turns your white shirt transparent and makes it stick to your braless tits, highlighting your nipples that pebble in the cold and seem to be the focus of Chan's transfixation.

By the time you step off the stage, he had dissapeared from the audience. But you don't have to wait long to know where he went as you promptly receive a message from him. It’s a video of him in what you recognize to be the lifeguard changing rooms. You can see him wearing the navy blue swim shorts he was wearing this morning, and right in the middle is his outlined and very hard dick straining against the material. You see his veiny hands twist around the top of it, giving him stimulation that nearly pushes him over the edge as it is. But he stops before it gets anywhere. 

Placing his hands on either side of his shorts, he alternatively tugs on them, moving the material over his hard dick. "Ah hurts baby…” He cries out as if you could hear him, “So sensitive… ahh AHHH…" 

You rub your thighs together at the scene in front of you. Watching Chan squirm and try to not touch his dick is hotter than you ever imagined. 

"Am I doing good?” He breathes out wantonly, and you can see his dick twitching behind his shorts. “Is this making you wet baby? Please tell me this is making you wet because I'm going crazy. Need you to like this."

You do like it. You like it so much. 

“You looked so good up there. Wanted to push you down and cum all over your tits so everyone will know that you’re mine. Hated how they were all gawking at my girl…”

It doesn’t take Chan long to cum, he was already so riled up by watching the white shirt you were wearing do nothing to conceal your hard, perked nipples under it. He wanted to so bad to fuck your tits and cum on your face, but he knew he had to earn it. So that’s what he was doing, putting on a good show for you so you’d let him fuck you.

You see his dick twitch before the white cum seeps through his shorts, making a mess and making you wish he was there so you could jump on him and ride his dick until he cries from overstimulation. 

You know he’ll take it well too. He’s been waiting so long for it. 

Opening up the chat, you type in a message. 

“Stay where you are, pup.”

___________

[astharoshebarvon]

I never expected to see that horseshit even in Hannibal/Will pairing. I’d really thought they were exempt from that bullshit.

All I can say is that the thirst for the dominant male/ homophobia is unreal. Female Will Graham—

At this point I don’t even know whether to get angry or simply laugh at such stories. This is beyond ridiculous! Imagine being idiotic enough to even write they aren’t murder husbands, and being weird enough to put in the story, its murder husband and wife.

Please. There has never been a wife nor will there ever be. Dream on.

Thankfully, the cringeworthy self insert fics are still in double digits.

Just say you want to fuck the Dom and can’t stand that two guys love each other and are in a relationship. Literally no one wants to read about your fantasy. Go and write self-insert/OFC with the male and be happy with that. Don’t be this pathetic and try to write your fantasy in the slash ship. Keep your straight agenda to your lame het self-insert ships.

No wonder this bull even bled out to shoujo manga. That is a new low even for a shoujo. Seriously, just say you hate gay people and get out. Having the fucking audacity to write that kind of homophobic content in 2020 is shocking.

There is really no need to be that disgusting. Just write your idiotic, stupid, annoying, brainless, obsessed, creepy fangirl with the male lead and leave gay people lout of it. No need to show again and again how foul you are by bringing them in. You are literally proving what kind of a person you are by writing such crap.

I am just so disgusted by that manga that I don’t even want to remember it if I can help it. Is that how fm couples are being made these days, by being blatantly homophobic and vile/showing het superiority or downright pedophilic content. No wonder those stories never reach more than 50? 60? Ratings on amazon.

Now, if you look at Ten Count, Given, well, there ratings are in 1000 or above 500.

Please, continue being so gross, at one point only garbage people will end up buying that crap.

Mediocre shoujo writers are so fucking threatened by the popularity of BL that they are even resorting to such vile tricks.

Seeing such things just cements what I’ve always thought. People just got better at hiding their homophobia, (we needed change so we turned a boy into a girl in slash fics of the coulple ) it’s painfully obvious what you truly think when you spit out such bullshit. No need to jump through so many goddamn hoops. Hell, I am not even surprised by this behaviour.

 These are the same kind of garbage people who screamed, Yuki should return to being a girl, we don’t like male Yuki.

Shut the fuck up! Luka is literally saying they have the same soul, he can only love once. Yuki is Yuki. So called female yuki was mentioned in passing at best, got two? three ? full pages.

Luka won’t fuck you no matter how much you wish it.

The story doesn’t even have a kiss scene between the fem yuki and luka or any hets while Senshirou breaks off his engagement saying quite clearly he cares for Kuroto. The girl is thankfully not a trash person like the homophobic readers. Neither is she like the one with sairi and touko.

The whole manga revolves around present male Yuki and Luka, their relationship and other bl ships. See the fucking artworks, go and buy Phosphor, its pure BL. There is a limit to how blind or in denial a person can be. 

This manga and anime is shonen-ai, it’s always been that and will always be that. All the main couples are slash. The mangaka is famous for her BL stories.

Uraboku was published in Asuka, the magazine which is infamous for never outright saying the two males are in love and are together.

Bloody Mary, X/1999, Kyou Kara Maou are prime examples, they are all shonen ai/BL subtext. Stop trying so hard to deny the fucking truth. The author’s new work, a shoujo, was so poorly received that’s it’s not even funny. Beautiful art couldn’t save it.

Clamp literally said do not call Kamui and Fuuma as brothers. They aren’t friends. They are soulmates! They parallel Seishirou and Subaru, an established, famous MM couple. Fuuma is all Kamui thinks about.

They don’t even mention the obsessed, creepy fangirl.

They are together in Tsubasa too. Stop trying to force your heteronormative bullshit onto everyone.

 No wonder some homophobic / thirsty person had the audacity to write in the fucking wikia of that light novel, this character is not gay you know. It’s implied he might be—

He is literally saying he is gay in the story, he tells it straight to the other party. He’s been gay all these years.

And, you are still trying to push your het agenda.

I totally get where that nonsense came from. He is a very very good looking man.  You want a chance to fuck him and think this is the best way to make yourself feel good. Go and get help if you are that fucking sad of a person. This isn’t normal behaviour, it’s creepy.

You gotta be some other level of stupid if you think they are friends/brothers. Friends/siblings don’t do this with each other.

Some idiots even denied Kurogane/Fai being a subtle couple in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. You have to be blind as a bat if you truly sat there and thought they weren’t a thing.

Even these two from get backers.

Hell, I think Get Backers author even said yes, those two guys are together. Like, please readers, take your homophobia and get out.

I have to give it to Atsuko Nakajima for drawing such beautiful illustrations. All of her works, whether they be MM, FM, FF are simply too beautiful.

  Stay mad that your imagined het only exists in your head not in actual story. Go read trash like that shoujo or see het pedo shows which thinks 500 year old is attracted to a little 7 year old. You’ll find many trash homophobic people like you there.

Even on manga sites you see idiotic lists like, erotica Not BL, smut with anything but bl, quality smut not BL.

Seriously, how fucking pressed are you that people don’t seem to give two fucks about your fm ships, these fm smut mangas have way less views than BL.

Be decent and write mf smut list, shoujo josei smut or something of the like. You have to mention bl somehow don’t you? This isn’t even pathetic, it’s downright gross. 

No wonder some foolish homophobic trash wrote lies like omegaverse does not belong to slash. You have to be completely shameless and downright stupid to write such horseshit.

Of course, some freaks even like that horrendous, homophobic, monstrous bitch from ten count. To this day I don’t understand how anyone can say such things.

She looked good standing next to kurose. She is good looking.

I just cant—

What a joke! She is human garbage nothing more and ugly as hell.

Ugh, the only place she should be in is a fucking sewer. I hate that bitch so much. She deserves to die a million times for what she did. Her existence is a fucking disgrace.

[mcustorm]

Thoughts on Jamie Johnson 5x08

I actually don’t even know what to think. You guys don’t understand. Do you know how serious this episode was? It was so serious, that my afternoon nap was delayed so I could write this post. And only important things stop my head from hitting the pillow.

Last week was Dillon’s glorious coming out, a beautiful moment to put an apex to all the tension between Dillon and Elliot. This week, Dillon’s coming out continues, for better or for worse.

I love how *all* of this episode centered around Dillon coming to terms with being out/being outed. It underlined the significance and severity of the moment. Somebody check up on Patrick Ward’s back because he was carrying this episode, and I know we’re all here for Dillon but he truly is the most fascinating character on the show.

Delliot getting ready to see each other after the previous day’s shocking events was such a cute scene. We all know that the characters on this show tend not to feel any way about anybody romantically, so just seeing those two try to look/smell nice for somebody they may feel some-kind-of-way about...ah, there goes those memories of mine again, haha.

And of course, I for the most part like Elliot’s role as someone who’s a little bit more experienced and can help out a baby gay like Dillon. Elliot being so different from everybody else we’ve met thus far on the show not only makes him fascinating to us, but to Dillon as well. On the other hand, I did not like that 1) Elliot almost immediately went and told Ruby and 2) after helping out Dillon with his gay journey, he mayhaps yeeted off into the sunset.

Ya know, if Hansard and Harry and Indira and Molly and Savage and Wozza and Jethro and Jack’s awesome dad and the different-somehwat-prominent-black-male-extras-on-the-team-each-season didn’t exist, I would have more faith that Elliot might have more of a role in the story moving forward. But this show has proven time and time again that if the character’s name isn’t Jack, then once the story is done with you it’s done. At this point in his journey, it maybe isn’t the best idea that Dillon get involved in a relationship. That makes sense. But to maaaaaybe reduce Elliot to a m*****l n***o? I don’ like det. 

It *seems* from what the show has presented thus far, that the only narrative purpose for Elliot to tell Ruby about Dillon is so that [both in-story and in the writer’s room] Dillon can have a reliable shoulder to lean on who is [and this is the important part] not Elliot. With him out of the picture, now Dillon’s go-to is Ruby if he needs a sounding board. And I have no idea why that’s the story-angle they’re going for. Perhaps Elliot threatens the status quo, which is “all of our characters are hopelessly, eternally single.”

But who knows, maybe I’m completely wrong and these last couple of paragraphs are irrelevant. Maybe not.

SN: Seriously, this show’s ships is definitely an interesting writing decision. Thinking about all the ship inequality thinkpieces that came out of the Andi Mack era, let’s talk about how the only canon het ship on this show that may give you feelings like Delliot is Jack and that rich guy whose name I’ve already forgotten. 

Do you wanna know what? Today was the most sympathetic I’ve ever been for Liam, and yet in this episode he did the most despicable thing he’s ever done. Well, maybe I’m not sympathetic per se, but at least I realize that he’s just another victim of his father’s emotional abuse. You know, Joseph’s brothers felt neglected too, and I never said “well maybe their father could’ve treated them better” when they sold their brother into freakin’ slavery. There has to be a line between seeing Liam as a victim and seeing him as just plain evil. Or maybe it’s a Venn Diagram. Either way, I’m still not a fan. I wonder what redemption for this character looks like.

I just like that this show was so unafraid to go there. It is completely unprecedented in any TV show intended for children/young teens...at least to my knowledge. I’m gonna make it very clear that I’m not trying to downplay other shows’ accomplishments, but coming out really is an internal and external journey. One is how you feel about yourself, and the other is how others react. This is my opinion, but some shows have really got the internal part down (DOAFP was GOAT-tier with this one); however, when the time comes to do the external part, the show either doesn’t go there or kinda just limps over the finish line. Does that make sense? Am I just rambling?

I think of all the programs that I’ve watched, this show has already done the best job of reconciling those two aspects of coming out. Besides The Fosters, perchance. Some people will be right by your side, others may need time. Despite all of the blatant and frankly disgusting homophobia that we saw on the program, the show made it clear that this is just what I said: a journey. There may be hope yet.

Also in this episode: Eric feels bad, because he did wrong and also because his “friends” are being generally dickish to him, and Jamie is also here to tell Dillon he did phenomenally at the cup (which, just a portion of that energy would’ve been great yesterday for the entire team, but go awf Mr. Johnson). I guess I should take away that Jamie and Dillon are in a way better place than they’ve been before. Great.

So there ya go. I must say, that was probably a Top 3 episode of this TV show. Which is why that preview for next week made me say, “Okaaaaay…” So wait, are Boggy and Jamie just like BFF’s again? Are we gonna address the nonsense that Jamie was spewing last week? Are Kat and Zoe just friends like that now? Are we gonna address the nonsense that Zoe was up to last week? WAIT, Freddie wants to spend time with just Alba and Eric? ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THE NONSENSE Y’ALL WERE ON LAST WEEK?

I will keep going to bat for Eric, idc idc.

See ya next week. Off to take my nap.

[nobodysavesmebabey]

.

[janiedean]

I never thought I'd be this person but I legit said"what hetero nonsense is this" when Rose said love and kissed Finn lol

okay anon this is not against you and I know you didn’t mean this seriously and I know this reply might be overreacting, and you probably didn’t see that I previously posted about hating how this fandom (especially *my* subfandom technically) is reacting to finnrose so you probably didn’t know, but: no.

specifically:

it wasn’t random nor nonsense. she had a fangirl crush on him, she got to know him better and she liked him and she thought she was about to bloody die. if I was in her place I also would kiss the guy I like if anything to know I’ve done it.

on the other side, he needed to talk to someone he didn’t know already and to show him a different side of things and who made him realize that the resistance was more than single people he might have cared for or not going against the big bad evil, which was what made him finally stop running. he didn’t kiss her back but it’s nice that he gets it from someone who likes him genuinely, especially coming after a life of dehumanization.

so it wasn’t nonsense, it was a plot decision you can like or not but saying it was out of left field or made no sense or was nonsensical is not a thing I can agree with because imo it was very well-developed and like in a life or death situation I would probably try to kiss the guy I liked, and rose liking finn was already introduced from the moment she showed up and then she just got to like him as the person he was rather than the supposed *legend* or whatever, which... is... nice. it’s normal. it happens. why the hell should it be nonsensical?

ah, because it was heteronormative and apparently if het ships happen it’s bad because they’re heterosexual, which is like, typical tumblr drivel and sorry but nah.

(now, before I go into it: if it had been rey kissing finn, would people be crying about heteronormative nonsense? idk. just a thought. and guess what, for me finn/rey is like, the most platonic shit in existence and I can’t see the two of them kissing romantically and it making any sense so we all see it differently, but if it had happened I’d have shrugged and moved on with my life. anyway.)

listen, guys, let’s be freaking real, as much as tumblr likes to think the contrary, straight/heterosexual people make up 90% of the demographic. heteronormativity is normativity because nine people on ten are straight. the problem is when heteronormativity is seen as the only default. the point is that if you want to counteract that you have to push to normalize relationships that are not heteronormative and make sure they’re seen as a valid alternative to the norm, but you can’t honestly go and say that heteronormativity is in itself statistically wrong because it’s not, nor that it’s in itself inherently wrong because then you pass the message that if you’re straight you’re *wrong* and honestly from a website where the message that people think they’re passing is that *you aren’t -wrong- for your sexuality I’m really tired to see that it’s valid for everything except straight people. because it’s really fun to go online and wade through posts on posts of people joking about how if you’re straight you’re Bad, you have no tastes, you’re not a good lay if you’re a man and should date women anyway if you’re a woman and everything bad in the world is the fault of you horrible straight person and ah, wait, being straight is also boring and who would choose to be straight -

except that you don’t choose your sexuality. no, I didn’t choose mine either. (yes, I’m straight if it wasn’t clear, and I’m getting progressively pissed off at this attitude. actually I’ve gone past the point of pissed off, but never mind that.

so like, now apparently if a heterosexual ship happens it’s all because they wanted to cater to the straight crowd and it’s all nonsense just because it’s a man and a woman locking lips!

and like, fuck, no. this idea that finnrose is inherently nonsense because it’s *heteronormative* and they pushed finn on a WOMAN THAT’S NOT REY is.... sorry, I know you didn’t mean it like that and I don’t wanna sound like an asshole, but if you say that rey would have been cool and rose isn’t then WHY, I mean isn’t rose okay enough? good enough? I mean I’ve read some stuff on *my ship’s* tag which was reeking racism because rose was apparently a downgrade and rey was the only option they could accept *if finn had to be with a woman* and honestly, no?? that’s... like... no??? I find it really rich coming from people who ship... a pairing.... made of nonwhite people.... at least for US standards (yeah I ship finn/poe mainly and this movie has made me block half of the tag for the finnrose vitriol IMAGINE HOW NICE). and IT ONLY HAPPENED SO THEY COULD CANCEL THE GAY COUPLE is like... a) it wasn’t gonna happen in the MIDDLE movie anyway esp. a franchise that gets distributed in countries where the gay couple would mean a ban/the movie not getting released (like, we do remember the beauty and the beat wank over damned lefou for what, ten seconds of him dancing with a dude??), b) means that finn’s sl would have had any worth just if he and poe made out (and same for poe) which basically means reducing their storylines to them making out? like, that’s... really.... sad? they only have worth as characters if they make out? sorry, I can’t really rally behind that. I care about them as characters and I loved their sl this movie and if they don’t kiss WHATEVER, 99% of the m/m couples I shipped in my life stayed not canon and it never changed my life, even if they were in relationships with women. that’s why fanfic exists. maybe next movie we’re getting it (because anyway rose kissed finn, he didn’t kiss back or anything so it can go there or it can’t and whichever way it goes I’m okay with it) maybe we’re not, but saying that their existence is useless if they don’t kiss or bang or aren’t *gay* just reeks of tokenism to me and the fact that finnrose is being described as heteronormative bullshit made to appease the r/eylo people or to deny people finn/poe is really not a thing I can rally behind either.

like, again, there’s nothing NONSENSE behind it and the fact that you attached heteronormative to it again means that the problem with it is that it’s an heterosexual ship and given that it had all reasons for existing and that, again, I’m really fucking tired of every straight relationship in new media getting thrown at the wolves just because it’s straight and being straight on tumblr is Very Bad TM so... sorry. it’s not. and like, if according to you it was just *nonsense* fine, you didn’t like it, legit, but heteronormative nonsense? really? can we just.... not... frame it as if anything heteronormative or heterosexual or straight is The Worst especially since on top of that finnrose is actually pretty progressive as a thing? I mean, when was the last time you saw a main black lead in an immensely popular scifi franchise that everyone and their kids watch in a relationship with an asian woman? never. like, it’s progressive, too, not the same way finn/poe is but progressive nonetheless, so... like... can’t we just let this goddamned ship live and be the cute thing it was without splitting hairs?

because sorry but again the fact that the main objections I’ve seen were a) IT’S STRAIGHT AND NOT GAY, b) he’s kissing rose and not rey IF WE HAD TO HAVE A STRAIGHT SHIP, c) IT’S PROREYLO AND ANTISTORMPILOT which.... uuughhh. like, can’t y’all take things the way they are? (nvm that I could rant for three hours about how r*ylo was like, written to happen and the fact that people don’t want to recognize that a villain has a personality is another entire problem but never mind.) it’s a cute ship. it happens to be straight. it’s also fairly progressive in itself. it was put on a good (imo) storyline which made sense and everything poor rose did was kissing the dude she liked after saving his life and thinking she was about to die. lay off her, pls?

last thing: since - we all guessed it by now - I happen to be straight can... y’all... please... not send me asks about how shitty heteronormative ships are and the likes? I mean, I know it’s a problem in a lot of cases and I’m more than willing to call it out if it’s obviously done maliciously but this wasn’t the case and I’m honestly tired of this STRAIGHTS ARE TERRIBLE drivel and HETERONORMATIVITY IS INHERENTLY BAD drivel and so on. especially when it’s about a thing I don’t actively ship but liked (finnrose) and then I have to go into my ship’s tag (f/p) and see it trashed to hell and back and read posts over posts about how they fucked up f/p for THE STRAIGHTS when I’d be the first person to offer the entire cinema a beer if it actually was canon. like, I’d be overjoyed if it was. but not at the cost of being assholes to other people who ship other things or at the cost of trashing on this movie for things that don’t exist or deny both of those two’s character arcs because at the end of it THEY AREN��T GAY. (as if they couldn’t be bi or pan, but of course anything that implies that someone could be in a rship with someone of the different sex is okay just as long as the relationship isn’t with someone of a different sex. like. please guys. no.)

last thing: don’t take this rant personally anon I’m sure you meant well, but you just touched on a thing that is really irking me lately and my hand slipped. I’m really meaning no ill will I’m just really tired of this HORRIBLE HETERONORMATIVE complaints thrown around like candy because of course everyone has feelings and shouldn’t be insulted except straight people because they are the majority so they can go die in a fire as far as tumblr cares. peace.

[snuggleupagus]

Like I can't stop thinking about it

The animation is beautiful! Fluid and fun and all the character designs are unique and amazing! The voice acting is great. The characters themselves are interesting. But........ (this is NOT spoiler free by the way)

It's just so WEIRD. You have a show that's rated Y7 just killing character after character. The main character loses her 3 older brothers, its devastating- but a few episodes later theres a joke about her mom being pregnant again, and the dad says they'll need a "bigger temple" - sir, do you think you can put the new baby in one of the THREE VACANT ROOMS LEFT BY YOUR MURDERED SONS?

The show violently ping-pongs between jokey fun comedy and literally just death and dying and fighting to the death and watching your family die like. It's really hard to enjoy the comedy cuz I'm soured by the death and the death is hard to take seriously cuz of the one liners and nonsense that surrounds it

Dont even get me started on Rico... just dont

Also it has a HORRIBLE case of the poorly-thrown-together-last-minute-comp-het-couple its borderline offensive lol

Overall, I LIKED the idea. I liked the general story and concept. I REALLY liked Zatz' story/family, I liked the gods, i even almost liked Maya. It just seems incredibly disjointed. They tried to squeeze soooo much into 9 episodes so a lot of moments that could have been really deep and moving get sort of brushed by. I love Jorge's works but like I cant even say I would recommend it to anyone and it sucks. I'm sad lol.

(If you can handle the issues of a show made for kids that feels funky, there ARE some genuinely great nuggets in there. I loved all the pre-episode flashback scenes, ESPECIALLY with Maya's dad and Lady Micte lol "who are YOU" was perfect.)

That being said, some ppl think it's an improvement from The Book of Life and ... well, you're wrong. Lol. You're wrong. Its really not.

Ok I finished Maya and the three. It gave me some complicated feelings. I dont think I would rewatch it because I cant really decide if I liked it or not. Very weird, tonally.

[midoriko-sama]

Midi watches YoI 11, 12

The Miyazaki is strong in this shot

I mean he looks like a cross between Sophie and Ashitaka

Oh no Yuri touched the ice fuuuuuck he didn’t manage the quad damnit!

97.83 damnit :s Yuri you potato

You put Pitchit with hamsters are you trying to KILL ME!

And now Pitchit is crying how dARE YOU

Heck Yurio just blew the roof off the skating rink in Barcellona yo!

aaaaaaand suddenly there is tension between Yuri and Victor. Yuri ust saw something in Victor that made him look like this

that is not a happy face

that is a face of someone who’s seen their sig other do/say something that punched them in the gut

Yuri, you’re seeing the desire to return to skating in Victor, aren’t you. That’s what put that look on your face.

Christoff dude you have to do the but swipe and clench wtf get off the ice before you melt it

HEH, Yurio a) put a barrier between italian girl and mum Yuri, and b) is there to cheer on Otabek-bro. Yisssss angry Kitty Elric Child has a BRO!

Otabek nails it!

And everyone is taking digs at Yuri

leave my potato child alone

music, art, all sooooooo beautifuuuuuuul

llesson learned: skater fans are scary

Ew, JJ, ung, stop it. You should be the American TBH

oh wow, JJ is flumping. Flumping hard. JJ omg, you have joined the team Have No Chill at the very wrong moment!

JJ did you just imagine Yuri giving you a sneer because dude you need more friends. Yuri’s face doens’t even twist that way he’d get cramps

Wow JJ’s fans love him. And his fiance is rad. *pats his head* poor overconfident puppy. *sigh* you had waaay too much chill and then suddenly no chill. In this series there is no try.

Ooooh last episode next omg-

SURPISE DIG AT MY HEART after the credits you bastards

*rushes to ep 12*

What are you doing Yuri?!! Ooooh I knew it, I knew the moment he saw the desire to return to the ice in Victor he’d put himself second and step away. GODS these people like to kill me slowly with this superb story telling

‘thank you for my fantastic last season, (i won’t keep you chained to me anymore) I’m retiring (because I know you won’t go otherwise but i’ve seen that look in your eyes and you miss the ice)’

I know you mean well Yuri but damnit, you potato! You made Victor cry do you know how lonely this guy’s been and now you make him cry

and now you're both crying.

now everyone is crying

except me because i'm too upset about how you're a complete potato, Yuri

not even a bag of chips a raw potato. Seriously boi.

Oooh how nice a french chroniste! Speaking in excellent french too!

And JJ keeps bombing! Omg, I almost feel bad for him *facepalm*

Yuri stop speaking like you’re yesterday’s news already...

you know, i put my money down now. Yuri isn’ winning gold. He’s not going to, he and victor won’t get married. I mean i hope they don’t break up but they’re going to be up against each next season (if there is one). The trajectory for this anime has NEVER been clear cut and clean, and it’s one of the things I love best. I’m trained in narrative and literature and most stories end up being BORNG because i can see the ending coming but this one keeps surprising me and that’s so important. I mean, i knew who the killer was in the fly trap by the middle of act two guys that’s how bad it gets.

PICHIT is on the ice flood warning i’m screeching!

AWwwwwwwwwwwww Yuri and Victor were seriously not talking but now they’ve made up i’m so glad

Oi, since when does Yuri have this kind of fan following?!

Yuri you potato youre not a dime a dozen and oh right you had a birthday you’re 24 now!

MY heart is going so FREAKING FAST

iif this is your swan song you’re a potato don’t make it your swansong! why are you treating it like one stop tHAT

YES!!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES!!! Potato child i’m proud of you yes !!! This story keeps me on my toes and he dOESN’T WANT TO RETIRE PRAISE VALHALLA

‘But keeping you as my coach means slowly killing you as a skater’ ‘look at the Victor in my skating you know i’m right and coaching me was not a waste of time but you have to return’

fuck me sideways with a spork omg step aside hets THIS IS LOVE GOALS

I’m het I’ll step aside first and do the thing where I wave my arms significantly at this

OM G he nailed the quad hE NAILED THE QUAD *pterodactyl screech*

this is the only crying you’re allowed to make Victor do

and his family is crying, everyone is crying, and his childhood friends are bawling.

erryone tears

‘I don’t want to go to the kiss and cry because that means it’s over’ damnit potato you’re still retiring

Don’t you punk me that score is out of this world I don’t think any skater i’ve seen ever got that score even Plushenko :o

Nope, i’m skipping Chris sorrry. You are way way way WAY too much for me, especially with your fishnet tights up your everything.

but then i watched you because you’re flubbing, sorry mate. I just am glad you’re not coming again.

OTABEK IS SKATING TO BETHOVEN I approve more and more

Holy ice victor you went and motivated the enemy so that your fiance wouldn’t swtop skating yOU AND YURI ARE BOTH POTATOES

I call it now YURIO IS cLINCHING THE GOLD. He’s going to take it from Yuri by, i don’t know, one point? he;ll take the gold and ‘yuri on ice’ will have been about him too, because his dream the whole time was to win in his seniour debut

anD THEN MY POTATO CHILD CAN’T RETIRE

Yuri’s all #goYurio and Yurio in th emeantime is all ‘i will beat up the piggy if he dares retire now I NEED MY SUPPORT SYSTEM DAMNIT!’

It’s official, as far as I’m concerned, Victor’s dad, Yuri’s mum and Yurio’s the first kid. Otabek can come too if he needs and Pitchit will take everyone’s pictures.

Chris put that pole away this is why we can’t have nice family pictures.

headcanon over

Oh granda’s still alive! Put that beer down if you die Yurio is be devastated you old fool

That some day is today i feel it in my narrative bones

what a jump this child went from ‘two Yuris are too much retire moron’ to ‘if you retire now i’ll make you regret it (wait for it) moron!’

Yes he loves his mum

ARE YOU SHITTING ME

omg .12 point twevlve the writers are monsters

but i called it! and damnit Otabek you should hav ebeen on the podium not leroy jenkins! (sorry canada)

my potato child is not retiring!

‘even i am worried about skating and coaching at the same time to in exchange...

Savage

and that takes care of the ‘one more year’ nonsense

‘youre not retiring next year iether you hear me’

your fiance is savage are you sure about this yuri?

yURI IS DANCING THAT FOR HIS EXEBITION! i can’t breathe

oh oh oh omg, what if Viktor joins him

Vikto joined their pair skating I’M GOING TO DIE

ung

UNG

UNG

UNG lifts he lift UNG

*ded*

and they must have practiced this and it’s so much love, right there on the ice right in your face

AND TRANSITION TO RUNNING FEET

I was not expecting that

‘there are places you can’t reach alone’ beucase the dreams are too large to bear alone --- oh my buns they are trying to kill me. There is a bounty on my feels

Holld on this is not right after

Yuri’s hair is longer and is this even Japan

And Yurio is there! my angry cat child

I have no words

[astharoshebarvon]

I am so glad wicked flame will come out in May. I was quite sad to learn when I first saw the expected publication date, November. Thank God, that isn’t the case.

I need to read a MM romance which is MM, not some weird story which is being sold as gay romance/erotica but has unnecessary mf scenes which makes one feel creeped out, the male leads care more about the woman. What even is that? Is it even MM? I really don’t think it is.

It’s very irritating and insulting to read stuff like that. If you love het so much go write het stories, no need to put your fantasies in gay romance. Seriously, no one wants to read them.

I actually thought this crap was done and over with but apparently that’s not the case. It’s like few authors learned not to be creepy but many haven’t. The only consolation is that I didn’t purchase that book. It’s so easy to just delete ebooks.

It’s the same nonsense of fem harry/tony/bilbo even Merlin ( I really didn’t expect that, but maybe I should have) aka alias of self insert/ofc/xyz woman character being inserted into a gay ship.

Then the writers have the audacity to write horrid tags in those het stories which appear in the tag of the slash ships : need women representation, women being awesome which is accomplished by removing the real male lead and putting their creepy mary sue ofc in his place.

What are you trying to prove by removing the real male lead from the gay ship and putting some vile ofc in his place?

Please, go and be tired elsewhere. Everyone knows what the problem is even if they will never admit it, the gay ship is a hit, you can’t stand it, you have to make it hetero by bringing in original fem characters.

Give whatever excuse you wish, in the end it is homophobic. Just see why the same is not applicable to ff and mf ships. Seriously, don’t be so tiresome and annoying by giving end no of rubbish reasons to justify this crap.

Not to mention almost all of these writers dislike mm, all their favs, other stories are either ofc/character or some other het ship. Then they say they are not homophobic.

What’s the saying goes, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, sounds like a duck then it’s a duck.

These horrid fics are like an infestation. These stories clog up the tag of the mm slash tag and it is extremely off putting to see them there.

What’s funnier is the bull some people spout, we dislike ABO, mpreg but we will turn the male lead of slash ship into a girl and then have that original female think only about het sex and having the dom male babies.

And also lie and say Alpha omega dynamics is not for slash.

It’s so ridiculous that I am surprised someone even has the guts to write such crap.

God, please, stop talking! Just say you want a het ship and will do your damnedest to turn MM  ship into het so you can be satisfied with your vile self insertion.

Lie all you want but Alpha/Omega dynamics has always been for gay erotica, it originated from it and is a hit in slash genre. Stay mad about it forever. It must be hard to be so bloody bitter all the time.