#SEEEEE RANK SHIT.!!!!!

[its-elvie-innit]

tumblrs not letting me reblogs smaragdine boyfriend post right now because it knows that if I do I will say some RANK shit

[wench-and-jezebel]

The Musketeers Reaction: Friends and Enemies

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

You sure you don’t need to rest buddy? You’re huffing pretty hard

[Also, they had the horseshoe upside down; no wonder shit goes wrong  (Spoiler: shit goes wrong)]

I wouldn’t know which is which  😀

Ah! Your boo!  [Ma'am, do you really think I'd adore a person who steals and kills peop- oh.]  …. Yes  [You know what-  Just watch the show, woman]

[Also, btw... "d'Artagnan" is not pronounced the way they pronounce it.  It's not "Dart-an-yun."  It's "Dart-en-yaw" ish.  Rough phonetics because idk but it's roughly that]  Well now neither of those look even remotely correct. Gah damn ancient times  🙂 [Edit: someone mentioned that this might be intentional? To show he comes from outside the "posh" part of town? idk if that's the case, but it's an interesting theory]

[Hold up… ad.]  Okay!  [Bruh these ads are so long]  😂😂😂  [BRUH IT CHANGED TO CSI  Hold up]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  CSI said you ain’t cheating on it with the musketeers  [lkjsaldakfjadsf]

Wait, Peter Capaldi?  [Yup!]  Sounds familiar  [12th doctor]

[This is Athos]  😱😱  I already said he favors Daryl… right?  [Yes.  I think.  But ‘tis true]

Sir  [I love him]  No need to be rude to the water  [alskdjf It was ice]  Oh ☠️

[And this be Porthos]  Oh shit!  So these are the three musketeers?  [No… Those are the two Musketeers and d'Artagnan.  The third Musketeer ain't been along yet]  Oooooh

[This is Aramis.  He’s the third.  (And yes… he’s "that stupid")]  Well damn ☠️😂

Damn I need a corset… these cheap ass bras can’t compare  ‘Tis trueeee

[Also, to be clear… He's having an affair with the mistress ot the Cardinal.  One of the most important people in France.  The King's main advisor.  Just to put that in perspective.  That’s why Athos said “Tell me he’s not that stupid”]  Oh. Well SHIT 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😂😂😂  [Also, that's Peter Capaldi]  Yeah I recognized him immediately

How he not see him?!

Ahh the gang’s all together!

Ahhh, love  [“Or lust”]  Ye, lol  ["Oh look: a man, pretending to acknowledge the difference" - Ten Inch Hero]

[I love Athos]  😂😂😂

“Any lice or crabs?” ☠️

Why am I getting Izzy vibes off the Doctor?  [I mean.  You should… I’m getting them too alskdjf]  😂😂😂  [It’s the Cardinal tho… Since I'm assuming you don't wanna spell Richelieu every time]  Ye! I don’t ☠️☠️☠️ it wouldn’t turn out nice

Oh is that The Milady?  [I say nothing]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Adele tipping her hand here]  

Ack  [Technically, she was "undressed" in the first scene… Corset + petticoat = scandalous]  

Wellll… Cannnnn you trust her?

Well damn… This show is just crazy

Pause!  ADDDDD  [Is it an ad for Scream?  Because we might have the same on- MATTHEW LILLARDDDDDDDD]  NO *sigh* 🙁 [How dare]  FOUR FUKCING ADDDDSS  [Yup]  CRIMINAL MINDSSSS  [RUDE]  THE NEW ONE  [I got Star Trek tho so… I win]

OH I SEE WHATS HAPPENING!  le gasp… Imposters

That ribbon around her neck is giving the girl with the green ribbon vibes  [I seeeee!  *has no clue what that means*]  You donttttt knowwww that boook? 😱  [Nope.  WATCH THE SHOW]

Buddy.  You.  Really.  Came out.  WITH A BLOODY KNIFE.  [alskfdj Yup.  I never said d'Art was smart.  Well, wise, but shh; the rhyme was important]

[Love herrrr]

Ooooop he ded  [Buddy's not doing too hot]

[Ma'am fingering her ring like it'll take away her Impure Thoughts about d'art.  It will not]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[Get ready for this Inigo Montoya-ass shit]  😂😂😂😂

“You killed my father. Prepare to die!”  

"We weren't going to kill him"  [*simultaneously* "We weren't going to kill him"  "Weren't we?"  "Next time let us know!"]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[The way Richelieu’s eyes widen on "murder" tho a;lkdsfj]

They were like oh shit they drug us into this  [They're kinda idiots tho.  What kind of criminal goes around like "oh, yeah, here's my name and rank!  Come arrest me!"]  EXACTLY

BRUH [Ruh roh]  

[Pause!  Ad]  I got one too lol  [I think it depends on time stamp for PlutoTV.  We'll probably line up perfectly for the most part.  Also… Jeremy Renner!]  Oh, I got Renner too!  [Mayor of whatever it is?]  Yes. [Countttt!]  Midpoint?  [Oh.  Okay!  I forgot those existed…  DO ITTTTT]  😂😂😂😂

– – –

Jezebel: We could not live in these times…  Our bad luck would get the whole family executed with these rules ☠️

Wench: aldskjf That's true!  The trials kinda.  Suck

Jezebel: Also idk why I didn’t automatically think the guy was an imposter at the beginning lol… I was like oooof!  Is this like… are his hands tied and he has to do this? Orrr??

Wench: Nope :)  Athos was too busy drinking and getting a hangover and half drowning himself to be robbing and murdering.  Not that he would do it anyway, it must be said.

Jezebel: Imma go on and make the prediction that the Doctor Cardinal had hired the imposters

Wench: :))) I say nothingggg!

Jezebel: Really, that’s all I can think of rn! But I’m enjoying it!

Wench: OIIIII!  THE CHARACTERS!  You must at least address Athos, please, I beg.  (But also.  I'd appreciate you discussing the main four laksdjf)

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂 I definitely understand why Athos is your favorite

Wench: My beloved!  And you haven't even seen much yet

Jezebel: Lol!! And the other two are hilarious! Especially the flirty one! ☠️☠️

Wench: Aramis?

Jezebel: Ye

Wench: alkdsjflaksdjf  So... this is a show based loosely around a book.  When we get to endpoint, I'm telling you some Things, but I want to let you get the impression of the show first

Jezebel: And d’Art(I’m not even trying) is clearly young. His common sense is lacking ☠️

Wench: Precisely… Wait 'til I tell you about the book :) 

Jezebel: 💀💀💀💀  Also… I feel like this picture pretty much sums up the king ☠️☠️

Wench: asdlkfj Accurate

Jezebel: And I love that Treville stands up for Athos! Instead of just believing he’s guilty

Wench: So, that's a thing... He’s kinda SPN Bobby.  And he’s basically father figure to the Three + d’Art (eventually known as Les Inseparables, or The Inseparables) and they are basically his kids.  (And I wanna say this is especially true for Athos, but I could be wrong with that bit)  So this is basically his son going off to be executed

Jezebel: Ahhh! 🙂 lol

Wench: Also… The music might sound familiar.  Not fully, but like in that haunting way where you think you've heard it before but can't place it?  That’s because the theme and (I think) some of the score was done by Murray Gold (aka the guy who did Doctor Who's score during the bits you've seen)

Jezebel: Both are BBC right?

Wench: Yes.  And you'll notice a lot of overlap.  You remember Mr. Blue Sky dude?  Elton?

Jezebel: Ack! Yes

Wench: He's a villain in a later season named Rochefort

Jezebel: Ahhh! I see 🙂  Also, I want to do the next episode like noon tomorrow if you can! So I’m not tired 😂😂 cause I’m enjoying this and I want to more consciously enjoy it lol!

Wench: Sounds good!

Jezebel: Ready?

Wench: Yup!

– – – 

Ooooop!  [Louis, panicking: "I am not panicking"]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[This mf]

Why would his body still be at the inn ☠️☠️☠️  [Why wouldn't it? lakdsjf]  B-because it’s an inn  [And?  Ya stick the dead bodies wherever there's space alkdsjf]  “Oh don’t mind the body… Scuffle this morning.  It’ll decompose in time.  All good.  Cheerio!”  [Basically!]

[Fun lil character scene!  And by fun I mean Trauma (™)]  Le gasp

The- He really left ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [alksdjflkdjf he did]

The womannnn!  Double crosssser

Oh shit.  They just all dead!  Tf?  [Yup!  Like I said: stick the bodies where ya can]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

[btw... Musketeers = King's guard.  Red Guard = Cardinal's troops.  They're warring groups]  Ahhhhh! I see

Sir we know you’re in a massive library, so big there’s echo. But you don’t have to scream

Lol ☠️☠️☠️  [:))) I love Porthos and Aramis too!  It's not quiteeee to the same degree, but I adore them]  Yesss!  Flirt gives me Hook vibes. Just like he looks like him.  [Similar, yes.  There's some subtle difference or something (since I haven't hyperfixated on him) but yes]  😂😂😂

He turned into a dog

Oooop- [Constance, my beloved]  He’s been duped  [I really wanna know what happened to make her so friendly to Athos, ngl.  That was a really scandalous thing she just did]

Surprise is everything….  *two seconds later*  Surprise would have been everything

[Also, did I mention that Constance is badass?  Because she is]  No, you didn’t, but I love it

Get him d’Artinigo!  [... Ma’am]  That took so fucking long to type cause I couldn’t spell  Inigo. ☠️  [OH THAT'S- laksjdflkadsjf I thought it was just a typo]  😂😂😂

Well, shit

Ma’am! You were the one flirtinggggg and ring-twirling

[Heh heh heh.  You remember the formula for my faves?  Because um.  Heh.  Heh heh  Man be a bittttt uncaring about safety.]  *sigh*

Kid’s like yeahhhhh about before. Sorry  [He got an Athos Nod(™)]  🙂  [Athos Nod(™)s be important because man doesn't speak and he's gotta show respect somehow alskdjf]  That’s fair! ☠️☠️☠️ *sigh*

Ooooooof.  Well, damn, ma’am  [Yup]  DAMN  That’s dark af  [Yep]

Buddy… That’s your story now too

Ooooop- Bruh, he is just mordorring  [Makes you wonder why he needs Milady as an assassin]  Oh shit

Did he kill her with ol’ dude’s gun?  [I don't think so]

Oh shit  [Milady is such an interesting character, goodness]  I don’t .. are the priests allowed to say that ☠️  [They're not supposed to, but I guess they can] 

– – –

Jezebel: That shit was WILD! 😂😂😂  I really do like it tho!

Wench: GOOD

Jezebel: Poor Adele!

Wench: Yeah... She does get mentioned again, though.  It takes a bit, but she does.  She doesn't just get forgotten

Jezebel: My brain’s kinda all over the place… But poor Athos too!

Wench: You should go into more detail there :)  (Yes, I am going to try to sway you into Athos favoritism!  It's fine if you like the others more, but you need to know that this is happening.  My beloved!!!)

Jezebel: Loool!  Idk I really like Flirt!! 😂😂😂 but yeah I’ll probably fall for Athos before long 😂

Wench: Aramis?  THEN THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS LEARN HIS NAME

Jezebel: Flirt, Aramis, same name different font… and spelling, shush

Wench: But nah, tbh, you might well end up liking Aramis better.  Most people do, judging by what I've seen in the fandom, but I admit it's not a fully reliable poll

Jezebel: I like his and Porthos’s relationship. Also idk. I say personality but I haven’t seen MUCH of it yet. I just can tell from what I’ve see I’ll like him. If that makes sense 👀☠️

Wench: Yeah, I get it

Jezebel: Also, married gal and d’Art are cute. Even if she is married and he is googly-eyeing priest killer

Wench: Constance is awesome, I agree.  And, tbh, Milady is super cool, even if homicidal

Jezebel: Fair!  Also… The cardinal can go suck eggs in hell with Izzy. ☠️☠️  And the king. Is a child. Like most kings are

Wench: It gets worse

Jezebel: And… Honestly I can’t think of more so share away about the book

Wench: OKAY SO.  First off, I need to explain introductions of each of the characters.  They changed this for the show, and, as I said in this post (here), I appreciate the new version but also mourn the loss because.  d'Art, instead of trying to avenge his father, is actually going to Paris to become a Musketeer.  On the way, he stops at an inn and, while there, a dude disses his horse.  Despite the fact that no, actually, he doesn't much like his horse, and has been bemoaning being stuck with it since he started out, he now has to challenge dude to a duel. Then, he loses.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Fast-forward to when he gets to the Garrison: he arrives just in time to hear Porthos/Aramis giving a report to Treville (which features the fact that Athos has gotten severely wounded in a fight, fun fact).  Fast-forward a little more, d'Art is mid-talking to Treville about possibly getting a job there when he sees the dude outside his window and is like... Damn this job interview; I must pursue the man who insulted the horse I insulted myself not two days ago.  (d'Art and his horse is a very "no one is mean to them but me" situation)

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Anyway, in the process of trying to track down this dude, he: a) literally runs head-first into Athos (aggravating his, did I mention, Severe wound in the process) and refuses to apologize, thus getting challenged to a noon duel; b) runs past Porthos and discovers something a bit embarrassing, and then proceeds to taunt Porthos about it for no reason, thus getting challenged to a one o’clock duel; and c) after losing the guy he was trying to hard to follow (AND.  LITERALLY WHILE HE IS TALKING ABOUT BEING LESS HOT-HEADED. Because he’s realized he just got duel challenges from two Musketeers.) he comes across Aramis, accidentally exposes the fact that he’s having an affair with a married woman (not Adele), and thus gets challenged to a two o’clock duel.  And all of this while running down a single stretch of road ☠️

Jezebel: My little clueless buddy… At least show!him is not quite THAT clueless

Wench: OH AND.  They're all each other's seconds, so they all show up to Athos' duel and are like.  Wait.  Wot.  Buddy got in a fight with all three of us?  And it swiftly becomes apparent that yes, he did.  Within the span of fifteen minutes.  AND.  This is all forgotten because then the Red Guard show up and are like "Oh, hold up, you're dueling?  That's against the rules!  Let us arrest you" and it turns into a duel.

Jezebel: 😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️

Wench: Anyway... the book follows a different plot from the show, but I'm not sure I can fully enumerate how.  The Athos/Milady backstory is pretty accurate, but her fate changes between the two.  (And across the other adaptations, which I also might make you watch, just btw.)  I think Constance existed in the book but Milady kills her?  If I recall correctly.  (Very different plotline from the show, I'll tell you that now.)  Aramis, btw — as hasn't been developed in-show yet, but is hilarious — is both a womanizer and deeply religiously devout.  He literally goes over to a woman's house to teach her Bible study

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Wench: And they study the Bible by studying God's gift of each other's bodies

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: And.  I think the final thing that I haven't yet said.  The author of this book?  (The Three Musketeers?)  Is the same dude who wrote The Count of Monte Cristo.  He's one of if not my favorite author.  I read The Man in the Iron Mask too (which is the sequel to this book), but I hatedddddd it.  Not because of the writing, which was impeccable as ever, but because of what he did to the characters 😭

Jezebel: I’ve seen the one with Leo DiCaprio

Wench: Yeah, that's....  That's a story.  That's a very happy story.  Relatively.  If I recall correctly.  Only one of them dies.  In the book.  One of them gets exiled.  And the others.  All.  Fucking.  Die.  I sat there on the couch reading it and sobbing my eyes out because my dude killed off Athos' son, and then had Athos die of grief-tinged-old-age afterward.  The fucking pain.

Jezebel: 🥺🥺🥺🥺 ACK

Wench: He had a vision about it before the messenger even arrived btw

Jezebel: Ooooof 🥺🥺

Wench: I cried.  So fucking hard.  I legit did not recover for too long.

Jezebel: Well damn!! 😦 ack

Wench: Basically, in the book version, Aramis plots to replace the king with his twin, as was done in the film, but instead of it being successful, the king gets let back out of prison and takes over the throne again.  Aramis and Porthos go on the run, but Porthos dies in the process and Aramis is then essentially in exile, and d'Art dies in battle at the very end.  And Athos, as I said, has the above fate.  Still love Dumas, but he betrayed me with that

Jezebel: 💔💔💔💔

Wench: Anyway... comparably, the show is much lighter.  Is the good news!  And I think that’s all the book ranting I have.

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Wench: Next episode tomorrow?

Jezebel: YES!

[privacyredux]

66oz

9:04am - yokohama

ive really really really gotten out of practice on this. i think being in japan has just kinda thrown me off my rhythm a bit. so let's seeeee.. ive done a lot of catching up with charlie today. plenty of things that she would murder me if i shared.... not bc they're bad and true just bc they're awful jokes. for that reason, i'll keep it closed but yeah. that was nice. shit's weird with my schedule right now and im loving japan of course no complaints but it's hard to fully catch up with everyone.

spoke with mateo a bit today too. mostly in passing, but still a little bit. which is nice bc it's been a minute since we really talked or joked or much of anything. probably since i was in la and at sunday night dinner so it was good. i probably need a bit of a kick in the ass to remind myself to bother him a bit more.

i also got to know shay a bit better. and land myself a pretty decent friendship rank. she was the only person who truly told me exactly what she wanted from japan. which reminds me i still gotta figure out something good for charlie. it just.. hasn't been easy. anyway, shay is chaotic and fun. i think ive made a decent enough impression that it won't tank my chances with val or anything. i'm not hated and that's the goal obv. or well, the goal is a bit more optimistic, but that's like the very bottom of the goal and if i at least accomplish that then id say im winning.

eric and i have had some semi? deep talks about girls and shit. nothing too crazy though. i think any issues he's had have been sorted out more or less over time. not really from any advice out of me, but it was really more venting than advice seeking kind of things. there's a lot of adjustment shit to be done when you start liking someone and seeing someone new. sorting it out takes a second or even awhile. i think he's good though... maybe i should check in

ive talked to some other people that are kinda new to me, but so far anyway nothing has super stuck. i guess i should probably check back in. it's a new day and all that i will. blair and i made some jokes and some plans that are kinda jokes though. enough to the point that i should probably take some time to figure out when we can chill for a minute before i get busy with more tour shit.

i think shit with val has been pretty cool for the most part. we've made plans for her to come visit when i get back and show her around oakland and maybe walnut creek a bit and just hang out and whatever. we're definitely at the point where there's a genuine shared interest in each other and all that but im not sure how far that's exactly going to go in one visit. i genuinely have no clue and it's exciting in a way. i kind of have the excitement of stuff without any direct expectations so it'll be interesting at least

the only thing i still kinda got in my head that im a little worried about is from well, charlie asked if my hypothetical girlfriend asked me to film something... i assume it was sexual but i genuinely can't remember the exact situation, but she asked if id do it. and i casually shared that my most recent ex is a stripper and the one prior which had been my longest relationship currently does porn and was essentially making her way into the business while we were together and it became a bit of a joke. whatever, that's not a big deal, but she just seemed really surprised. all joking about it making her see me different etc and it just made me a little worried if this was something i should be giving a heads up about. like, valeria is cool and i don't think she'd be like weird about that kind of thing, but people have varying feelings on that kinda stuff so i dunno. i don't want it to be some kind of surprise out of nowhere if it does matter, but it also feels really stupid to bring up to someone who is going to be like... okay and? charlie didn't think it would be a thing and i think she felt bad for her reaction, which isn't necessary honestly, but it just has me in my head a little bit. i dunno. i haven't said anything and i don't know that i will unless a situation calls for it, but it is running through the back of my head from time to time.

um otherwise shit is really nice though. we kinda got this thing going where we talk about what alternate reality us do and when and how we'd meet. id be a pro soccer player and she'd be a teacher somewhere in central america. we'd meet at a sandwich shop bc she wouldn't be at a coffee shop and well, im not sure we really got past that point, but it's nice. and i like telling her the stories and shit i hear from my podcast. mostly just the ones i think she'd be interested in, but it's nice that someone gives a shit at all. and i like hearing about all the shit she's doing day to day. tbh it's a nice grounding thing to be able to check in with her on what she's done and i tell her what ive done even if our timezones really don't line up at all. even if i have stupid little worries about bullshit, in general this shit is nice and it makes me happy. i always have something to smile about.

simple song - the shins

blinded bye - basement

stay in the room - fiddlehead

[jess-oh]

Reflection

man, i really dislike closing with Mike

he goes way too fast and i get that i’m kinda slow and don’t always understand things right away but he really makes me feel shitty. i always feel like he’s gonna yell at me if i screw up on accident. i’m working 11-8 tomorrow too....hopefully it’s not with him, although my pre-closing shifts usually are with him T______T

sigh.

i made a big spill of oil today on accident and it was a pain to clean up....

he also keeps overestimating my skill and power, assuming i’m just below his own ranking when in reality, i’m legit half his height. -_-

maybe i just need to be more blunt so he knows that i’m a very smol person??? maybe????

i also gotta ask jen if i’m allowed to transfer to jewel-osco so i can keep my job even in chicago. 

i worked 37 hours this week and i’m not even in school and it’s been HARD.

i think my woodshop job is so nice bc i know wtf im doing and bc it’s usually pretty chill. maybe im just so overwhelmed bc i dont know where anything is yet. i mean, i do but i still have a lot to learn and im running out of “newbie” time .____.

i also made the mistake by trusting ashley who doesn’t give two shits about working in the deli soooo.....fuck.

should i work two jobs in chicago? with school too? bc im just stressed rn. how the hell am i gonna survive it once im a full time student as well as working at the woodshop?

BUT,

the woodshop is really chill. and i’m only allowed to work 20 hours there. plus my pay is good with albertsons... fuck.

who knows

who knows if i can even transfer

WE’LL SEEEEE.