#S: mystery science theater 3000

[harveybwabbit92]

Gaz, watching Dib build a device to fight Zim: Dad's gonna be mad.

Prof. Membrane, from downstairs: Are you kids cooking up there?

Dib: No.

Prof. Membrane: Are you making an illudium pew 36 explosive space modulator?

Dib, that’s exactly what he’s doing: No!

[jmunneytumbler]

The Best TV Episodes of 2022

I’m a Chocoholic (CREDIT: FX/Screenshot) When so many modern TV shows feel like amorphous blobs, I cherish those programs that know how to craft well-oiled episodes more than ever. Here’s a mighty fine selection that I might just want to keep watching over and over. (more…) “”

[larvaelamp]

Crow T. Robot explains women & how to treat them.

[mellysanders]

Related to people saying they picture asoiaf as looking like 90's fantasy TV-

I want an asoiaf adaptation that looks like a Roger Corman low-budget, absolute piece of crap 80's sword-and-sorcery movie. That's the aesthetic I think we deserved

I want that Mystery Science Theater 3000-ass look

[ryanmoody]

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)

I won’t do that again!

[thecryptidzenith]

11 for the fic game ask!

11. Bonus: recommend your favorite fic

Okay, you're getting two answers for this one because my real answer isn't a D20 fic, and seeing as that's my fandom at the moment, I'd be remiss to not rec something from it.

For the past... Jesus, four years, my favorite fic has been The Prestige by black_feather_fiction (also @black-feather-fiction) No contest. I don't do MCU fic or fandom anymore, but this is the one exception. It's just. It's so good. It's demonstrates the best use of the medium of fanfiction I've ever seen (yes, I'm of the opinion that fanfiction is its own distinct medium, but I'm not going to get into it now.)

Now the conceit of The Prestige is similar to a lot of MCU long fics: what if the plot was... good? Between the California-in-the-1840's/50's amount of untapped gold in the movies and whatever any given writer wanted to pull from the comics, there are so many elements to play with when rewriting a truly epic version of the story presented in the Infinity Saga, or even just a small segment of it. There are a lot of these, and I've read a lot of these. It's exactly my kind of thing, I love a good Plot.

The thing that's special about The Prestige is the way it incorporates the conventions of storytelling in its worldbuilding. To put it simply, an all-powerful God does exist in this universe, and he's three old women who terrorize innkeepers. The Norns/the Fates/other Mother-Maiden-Crone mythological archetypes, are real, and they control the threads of fate, so to speak. The entire universe exists as their plaything, and given the chaos and entropy of the universe, they pull stories from it. The laws of storytelling are just as influential, immutable, and important as the laws of physics in this universe. And just like the laws of physics, they can be manipulated towards a particular use.

This is how the fic opens: with Loki attempting to tell the universe a story so perfect and beautiful that the Norns cannot help but let the tale play out in real life. He doesn't quite succeed. However, the rules of storytelling are never forgotten, by the characters and by the author. Having the conventions of storytelling being a part of story's universe is a brilliant move that I have not gotten over after three years. Obviously, real life doesn't play out like a story, so when telling a story there's always some suspension of disbelief involved, because real life isn't that neat. Having an in-world explanation for the existence of story structure is something I'd never seen before and it's brilliant. And it's perfect for a story about two liars, image-crafters, storytellers, whatever you want to call them.

The story structure being built into the world is incredible, but so is the way the characters attempt to manipulate it in their favor. Even beyond the opening tableau, characters work to push the narrative in directions that will serve them. And the narrative pushes back. Every time I think about how the Fall of the Giant plot beat plays out, I fall more and more in love with it. It's the perfect blend of expectation subversion, expectation fulfillment, and effective character beats. It's fucking incredible.

Besides the rules of storytelling, The Prestige also makes reference to a lot of stories in the cultural zeitgeist in a way that's as delightful as it is earnest. The primary benefit of fic as a storytelling medium is that the audience already has a shared set of knowledge. We know who the characters are. We know how canon goes, and authors already have prepackaged tools to tell their stories with. Less needs to be established in fanfic compared to other kinds of fiction because the audience has a shared knowledge base. The Prestige takes this intertextuality further by pulling from more than just the MCU canon, but from works as varied as Mystery Science Theater 3000, Gremlins, and Alice in Wonderland. These cultural touchstones are in meaningful conversation with the contents of The Prestige and efficiently add depth in a really interesting and engaging way. Hel, even the title is taken from a Nolan movie. This fic is so deeply tied to the culture it's a part of, and I adore it.

Beyond the elements of the story that are inseparably tied to its in-universe use of narrative, the plot is very well put together. I find the bit with Ozymandias (yes, like the Percy Shelly poem) particularly clever, but it's all very good. Despite it's length, I find The Prestige compulsively readable, its writing is excellent. The characterization is excellent, the worldbuilding is engaging, the character dynamics are delightful to read about and devastating for the characters involved. I think this fic may genuinely have everything: Plot, romance, action, adventure, whump, angst, parent/child relationships, (explored from both sides) familial trauma, sexual trauma, self-destruction, sibling relationships, eating disorders--I'm really just listing tags here, but there's So Much, and I love every bit of it. I have loved every bit of it for years, and I don't care how long updates take, I Will Read It. It's the only MCU fic I've been able to read in years, and honestly? I'm not that mad about it, it's fucking incredible.

Now with all that being said, my favorite D20 fic is a lot harder to pick. I've not been in the fandom that long, I haven't read a ton of fic, and my tastes skew towards the Epic, Plot-focused, and Looooooong. Which is a bit difficult to come by (as is time to read.) There are, however, a lot of excellent fics, out there, though I think I have the most to say about The Properties of Adaine by Tangerine_Blast (also @20dimensionsoftangerine) (and by extension its predecessor, but we don't need to get into it.)

The conceit is that because of Oracle reasons, Adaine gets kidnapped by Kalvaxus as a kid and grows older thinking of him as a great paternal figure even though he sucks because her only points of comparison are Arianwen & Angywn. The interesting part is only really discussed and addressed in The Properties of Adaine, which is that she's technically an object! Legally, magically, an object--a dragon's thrall to be more specific. It's a fascinating exploration of the ramifications of DnD worldbuilding, as well as an exploration of identity, security, trauma, etc. It's a bit of a thorny subject to tackle, but so far as I can tell, it's handled with grace and sensitivity. It's doing a lot of very interesting things with the Themes, plus Aelwyn is absolutely insane (she's adopted/kidnapped by Aguefort.) which I get a kick out of. Overall, a striking story (and also one that's still being updated, which is probably why it sticks with me.)

[thezanyarthropleura]

50 years ago today, at least a few people were watching the premiere episode of Saru no Gundan, or Army of Apes – a 1974 Tsuburaya Productions tokusatsu television series you might know better as Sandy Frank’s Time of the Apes, most likely through its appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000’s episode 306 (or K17). The full series was never officially released overseas, but an English subtitled version has been making the rounds, and as an avid fan of other tokusatsu such as the Gamera films even outside their Sandy Frank/MST3K context, I decided to check out the series a little over a month ago.

I will never look at Time of the Apes the same way again.

(AKA: “Why doesn’t Johnny care, and why should you?”)

The first five or so episodes are rough, with a repetitive cycle of our protagonists getting captured by Gebar and the ape army, escaping, and getting captured again. It almost makes one long for the cut-down and far quicker Time of the Apes pacing, although then we’d have to forfeit the wonderfully overdesigned arts-and-crafts snake made by Izumi, Yurika, and Jiro to frighten the ape guards. These are the episodes that represent the majority of footage used by Sandy Frank in the film version, ending at Godo, Jiro/Johnny, and Pepe’s escape via train and skipping over six full episodes before the next included scene.

That next scene in question is the infiltration sequence from episode 12 that reunites the whole cast again, concluding with a brief argument about what to do next. Izumi/Katherine’s insistence that the group remain with the Prime Minister/Commander is one of the only moments in Time of the Apes that suggests the human protagonists have any option in this new world other than to flee. It’s quickly dismissed, and we cut to an unrelated escape sequence taken from nine episodes later.

In Army of Apes, after a few intervening events, Izumi actually wins that argument, with Godo agreeing to put aside his hatred for the apes and accept the protection of the Prime Minister and the peaceful Gorilla faction. It’s only once they believe the Minister has been killed in an attack on his motorcade that the reunited cast is forced to go on the run again.

What happens in those missing six episodes, and what continues throughout those subsequent nine, is what’s truly at the heart of Army of Apes, especially when compared to the more straightforward Time of the Apes. In the 6-12 stretch, the main cast remains separated into two groups – Godo, Jiro, and Pepe are displaced by having taken multiple trains away from the army headquarters, meanwhile Izumi and Yurika travel alongside the Prime Minister and Deputy Director Sabo in an attempt to find them. The humans thus have plenty of time to interact with various apes out in the world during their adventures, these guest characters often providing the central storyline for the episode. After the midpoint of episode 13, the episodic structure is slightly lost as the overarching plot picks up (the cast catching wind of the mysterious UCOM and investigating the history of how humans were replaced by apes), but the encounters continue, all serving the series’ central question: “Can humans live in a land of apes?”

The stories in these episodes vary from familiar tropes to deeply bold statements, from bright and heartwarming to monumentally tragic. Beginning with episode 6 we have an ape father and son, who barely interact with the main cast but whose differing views on the subject of humans cause them both to be killed for standing in the way of Gebar’s vengeful pursuit of Godo. Episode 7 features the street musician Reed, an ape guitarist who bonds with Yurika over a love of music – together, they create the series’ second recurring lyrical theme, There’s Love Somewhere, which continues to be associated with Yurika and her friendships with ape characters throughout the show’s run. Later on, a blind ape woman mistakes Godo for her son Uri, who in reality died on his way home escaping a life of crime. The group saves a woman named Ura and are welcomed into her village. A member of the army must choose whether or not to help the humans after they save his young child. Mari, a nurse, hunts down the humans in revenge, believing them to have killed her secret agent husband, only to learn they tried to save him.

(You might have also heard there’s robots and ninjas in this show. That’s also true.)

The big game-changer moment for the series, though, is likely episode 9, in which a Baboon named Lag abducts Yurika with the intent to raise her as a future bride. The series pulls very few punches with just how dangerous and dark a situation it’s invoking – in fact, this is where the previously accommodating, but dismissive Prime Minister fully steps up into a protective role over Izumi and Yurika. There is, in particular, a moment where Lag makes Yurika perform her song for him, which feels deeply upsetting – a corruption of something that holds personal significance for her.

But while Lag is terrifying, we also see the side of him that’s more misguided than overtly malicious, framed somewhat as a victim of his own view of the world. Circumstances ultimately conspire such that Lag dies to protect Yurika, and I don’t consider this a redemption – Lag never confronts his actions, and acknowledging that Yurika is worth saving still isn’t the same as acknowledging that her worth includes the ability to make her own choices. But none of the characters involved, not even Yurika, view his death as anything but a tragedy. He gets a solemn burial, just like the other character deaths up to that point, and when Yurika performs her song for Ura’s village in a later episode, she dedicates it in part to Lag, choosing to mention him only as someone who saved her life.

This is another core theme in Army of Apes – that death is never a good thing, that all loss of life is tragic. It’s far from a completely pacifistic message – the fights against the army result in plenty of on-screen deaths that get little-to-no gravitas, and it’s not always explicitly self-defense either – but there’s a running trend of our main characters solving problems by reaching out through compassion whenever possible. Even the main title’s lyrics (to the best I can gather from an incomplete translation) remark that the right way to fight as a human is to “take up the weapon of love” – a sentiment all but directly stated at the end of episode 13, when Godo hurls a rifle away into the ocean and declares “we have stronger weapons.”

It's also invoked clearly in the Prime Minister’s speech as he awaits his execution, undercut only slightly by the fact he’s buying time for a rescue attempt. He asks to be brought water as a last request, but instead of drinking it, he uses it to water the flowers in his room, explaining that while he is to die, the flowers will live on into tomorrow. This is after every other leader of the Gorilla faction, including Deputy Sabo, has been executed by Luzer and the Chimpanzee uprising – in a story arc that predates Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith by 30 years, but these days, would never escape direct comparison to Order 66.

Sandy Frank, to circle back one last time, condensed the entire Chimpanzee uprising story arc into a single scene (with suspiciously exposition-rich background dialogue). After that, though, Time of the Apes presents the final two episodes of the series in relative completion. One of the scenes featured is the last conversation with the Prime Minister, where the humans reaffirm their insistence that they can’t live in an ape country.

In reality, there’s been quite the debate up to this point – and it’s additionally interesting and significant for a work in this genre that the entire concept of repopulating the human species, including any mention of romantic partners, is almost wholly absent from the series, and is never a concern of any of the human characters. The debate is always spoken of in terms of human connection, a sense of community and peace, and whether that’s possible between humans and apes. Godo’s hatred of apes due to the trauma of his family’s death is certainly a strong point of contention, but while Izumi laments the unfamiliarity of the new world, there’s a distinct sense that if she didn’t have Godo’s and the childrens’ needs to think of, she would have stopped trying to escape a long time ago. She and Yurika have formed an especially close bond with the Prime Minister, and Jiro, who eagerly insists “I don’t always cry,” discovers in the end that he has a strong attachment to Pepe, and is distraught when the two friends part ways for the last time.

(In other words… as it turns out, Johnny does care.)

Within the mountain, in a moment that’s particularly effective after having watched the full series as opposed to the film, the humans learn from E U C COM that they are truly the only four humans remaining in the world – the time-travelers having missed meeting anyone besides Godo by a margin of two years or less. It’s only then, when faced with an ultimatum of either being sent to another planet or further into Earth’s future, that the protagonists start to resist the idea of leaving, perhaps discovering only when it’s too late that they’d rather stay with the apes, after all.

Of course, the final turn tables back on E U C COM and it miscalculates – and no, the full context of the series does not add any realism to the pseudoscience/technobabble of why extremely cold temperatures turned the cryogenic preservation pods into actual backwards-operating time machines. Izumi, Jiro, and Yurika end up back in the present human world, and thus the series avoids giving a final answer to its central question.

In Time of the Apes, it probably doesn’t matter, as what we’re given is a fairly standard stock happy ending for the “well, that was a scary experience!” story Sandy Frank chose to tell.

But in Army of Apes, the answer is already pretty clear:

By this point, Godo and Jiro have promised to return and visit Uri’s mother someday. Ura’s village has welcomed the entire group, with a genuine invitation to stay and live there. Even the Prime Minister, who has lost all his closest associates, resigned his position, and resolved as a point of honor to exile himself from ape society (with his last act being to ensure the humans’ safety in his absence), seems to be setting himself up to live out the rest of his days in the company of the humans he’s grown so fond of, if only they’d stayed. We’ve seen humans and apes treat each other as if they’re one in the same, with often only Godo’s pain of the past and the others’ search for answers driving them to leave these opportunities behind. Gebar, now acting alone and outside the bounds of any military authority, is the last active ape threat to the humans, and once he learns the truth about his family and finally sets aside his grudge against Godo, there really is nothing to say that even if the time travelers were never able to return home, the series couldn’t have ended just as happily, or even more so.

Take up the weapon of love, fight like a human Army of apes, what are you doing?

[harveybwabbit92]

Ace: Talking like what?

Taro: Why're you talking like that?

Ace: Well, no, I'm not, I'm just way ahead of you, little brother.

Taro: Well, like that, you know? You're answering my questions before I ask them.

Ace: No, you dope, I mean I'm moving faster than you temporally speaking.

Taro, insulted: Hey, whaddya mean you're way ahead of me?

[pandoramsbox]

Sci-Fi Saturday: Haredevil Hare and Rocketship X-M

Week 25:

Film(s): Haredevil Hare (Dir. Charles M. Jones, 1948, USA) and Rocketship X-M (Dir. Kurt Neumann, 1950, USA)

Date Watched: 2022-01-14

Viewing Format: Blu Ray for Haredevil Hare, DVD for X-M

Rationale for Inclusion:

I don't recall at what point I remembered that select Looney Tunes shorts needed to be included in this survey. Either the Fleischer Superman shorts by virtue of being animated, or Buck Rogers because of it reminding me of the parody short Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century, made me realize that we needed to include the shorts featuring Warner Brothers' iconic alien Marvin the Martian.

Marvin appeared in five shorts during the classical period of Looney Tune animation, beginning with Haredevil Hare (Dir. Charles M. Jones, 1948, USA) and concluding with Mad as a Mars Hair (Dir. Charles M. Jones and Maurice Noble, 1963, USA). Of these shorts we only will be including two in the survey, and what better to start with than Haredevil Hare?

But wait, that short is from 1948 and we are squarely in the 1950s now. Why wasn't it watched earlier? Honestly, because it did not pair as well with any of the films of the 1940s in the survey as it did with this week's feature film Rocketship X-M [AKA: Expedition Moon and Rocketship Expedition Moon] (Dir. Kurt Neumann, 1950, USA), as they're both about experimental rocketships that end up on Mars. They're also closer together in creation than Haredevil Hare is to Invisible Agent.

As to why Rocketship X-M made it onto our survey, it was the first post-World War II space adventure film released, beating George Pal's Destination Moon (Dir. Irving Pichel, 1950, USA)--which will be next week's film--to release by a month in 1950. Much like The Flying Saucer (Dir. Mikel Conrad, USA), despite achieving a first for the genre, it has largely been overshadowed by later films. Rocketship X-M also has the indignity of being the first film of the survey to have later been mocked on the television series Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Dir. Jim Mallon, et. al., 1988-1999, USA).

Reactions:

Like basically every Warner Brothers short that Charles M. "Chuck" Jones directed, Haredevil Hare is a quality short, in terms of its animation, pacing and humor. Bugs Bunny plays the role of reluctant astro-rabbit before lapsing into his usual trickster self when the Earth is threatened with annihilation by Marvin the Martian. The majority of the short's action takes place on the moon, which has standard gravity and oxygen for narrative convenience. Frankly, it would be more surprising if this cartoon attempted to depict realistic space flight and lunar conditions than it is that Jones and his team couldn't be bothered to engage with known reality more than necessary.

As for Marvin, he looks as audiences have come to expect him to: in his Roman inspired attire since his home planet is named after their god of war. Mel Blanc's characterization for Marvin is more nasal than what his voice would be in the later shorts. I also was amused to see his trusty dog K-9 appear in this originating short. I thought he did not appear in a later short. 

Like Bugs Bunny, the crew of Rocketship X-M is bound for the moon and has an aggressive encounter with a Martian. Unlike Bugs, their Martian encounter actually occurs on Mars, after a meteor storm forces them to recalculate their fuel ratios and they end up off course.

Despite it being a long passé technique, the scenes on Mars are tinted red in the otherwise black and white movie. The fact that Martian civilization went from an "Atomic age to a stone age" and is now a post-apocalyptic tribal society seems to be influenced by H.G. Wells' 1895 novel The Time Machine, and marks the first time an atomic powered apocalypse was referenced in a major motion picture. The presence of atomic destruction is attributed to the blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo, who acted as an uncredited script doctor on that sequence.

While the Mars sequence is definitely in the realm of soft sci-fi, some realistic elements are featured in the film. Rocketship X-M features a spaceship composed of multi-stage rockets, as would later be used in the real life American and Soviet space programs. The filmmakers apparently copied its design from illustrations featured in a January 17, 1949 issue of Life magazine, which is likely why that aspect of the film is more true to life than other parts. Less accurate is the haphazard depiction of microgravity, as some items are affected by weightlessness, but not everything that should be. The attempts at hard sci-fi seem to be dependent on if the filmmakers thought it was interesting, or within the special effects budget.

Nevertheless, Rocketship X-M set other precedents for atomic age sci-fi films. 

The film's score by Ferde Grofé features the unique electronic tones of a theremin in places. While the instrument had been featured in film scores as early as 1931 in the Soviet Union, it was Miklós Rózsa's scores for Hollywood films in the 1940s that brought it to the attention of his colleagues in the American film industry. Despite being the first sci-fi film to make use of the theremin, two films that followed Rocketship X-M, The Thing From Another World (Dir. Christian Nyby, 1951, USA) and The Day the Earth Stood Still (Dir. Robert Wise, 1951, USA), would be the examples that cemented the instrument's connection to the genre in general and atomic sci-fi specifically.

Rocketship X-M also re-introduces the lady scientist love interest to the genre. Prior to Dr. Mary Robinson (Janice Logan) in Dr. Cyclops (Dir. Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1940, USA), the women love interests working with the male scientist main characters were merely assistants. A fully independent lady scientist, like Dr. Helen Jackson in Son of Ingagi (Dir. Richard C. Kahn, 1940, USA) was, and to a large extent remains, unthinkable in a mainstream Hollywood production. So for all her accomplishments, like being the developer of the mon-atomic hydrogen fuels that power the R-XM, Dr. Lisa Van Horn (Osa Massen) is in Rocketship X-M to mostly be a hetero-disclaimer for the ship's pilot Col. Floyd Graham (Lloyd Bridges). 

When it comes time to implement a new fuel ratio after the meteor storm, Col. Graham opts to go with the figure suggested by Dr. Karl Eckstrom (John Emery) over the one put forth by Dr. Van Horn. Eckstrom did design the RX-M and is a physicist, so a rationale other than sexism is an influence in Graham's decision. However, Dr. Van Horn is both a chemist and the person who developed the fuel system, so in theory she ought to know the best practices for fuel rations, but apparently her lady brain's math is not to be trusted. Interestingly, Col. Graham going with Dr. Eckstrom's calculations is what causes the ship to end up off course and on Mars. Would Dr. Van Horn's calculations have gotten them to the moon and back home safely? Uncertain, but half the crew definitely wouldn't have died due to Martian attack.

At any rate, Rocketship X-M establishes what became the template for how female scientists and/or assistants in 1950s sci-fi films will be treated: they are there to be hetero-disclaimers primarily with their career as a narrative means of justifying their presence. In the best cases the relationships seem to form organically and without sexual harrassment.

However, unlike many of the films to follow, Rocketship X-M does not end with the happy formation of a hetero-couple. Yes, the last time Col. Graham and Dr. Van Horn are seen on camera they are embracing, but they also are about to crash land and die. None of the crew of the RX-M make it back to Earth alive, yet enough of their data did that the space program can carry on.

The film closes on an optimistic yet bittersweet note.Ultimately both Haredevil Hare and Rocketship X-M are good examples of the potential for their characters and stories of space travel, but the best had yet to come.

[jmunneytumbler]

Best TV Shows of 2022 by Network

Best TV Shows of 2022 by Network

CREDIT (Clockwise from Top Left): AMC/Screenshot; ABC/Screenshot; Paramount+/Screenshot; Hulu/Screenshot) To demonstrate how great TV can be found pretty much everywhere these days, I’ve decided to pick the best show on each network and streaming service on which I regularly watched at least one show that aired in 2022. However you’re getting your fill of TV nowadays, you’re bound to find…

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Just a list of some of my favorite quotes. I tried to sort them at least a bit but eh.

Funny Quotes:

• "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." - Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

• "The way it [Pizza Hut pizza slice] dances is insulting." -Charles White

• "You know what they say, when fate closes a door, luck opens a window. And karma deactivates the alarm system." -Sam, Poker Night 2

• "We're only at the top of the food chain because sharks don't have good guns yet. They're workin' on 'em tho." -Sorrow TV

• "Behind every great man, there's a woman with a vibrator." -Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

• "I'm not suicidal, I just wish I was never born." -Adrian Monk, Monk

• "We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw...Does that sound fine?" -Ash Williams, Evil Dead 2

• "Hi Kevin can you maybe consider finding a hobby or possibly even a friend" -Poptarts

• "I live in a flat for divorcees where they make you pay six months up front in cause you hang yourself." -Gregory, The Outlaws

• "Mousetrap. I wanted to play Mousetrap. You roll your dice, you move your mice. Nobody gets hurt." -Bob the Tomato, VeggieTales

• "Yeah, it's a death trap. But it's a really powerful death trap. What, you suddenly care about safety now?" -Slate, Outer Wilds

• "How insecure do you think I am? Seriously, how insecure do you think I am. I need you to tell me. Will you please tell me?" -Shawn Spencer, Psych

"Oh, get over it. I shot ONE baby. And, in fairness, it was being a dick." -Handsome Jack, Borderlands 2

"We protest you calling us 'little kids'. We prefer to be called 'vertically-impaired pre-adults'." -Yakko Warner, Animainiacs

"If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring. Apple could put the entire text of 'Mein Kampf' inside the iTunes user agreement, and you’d just go agree, agree, agree – what? – agree, agree." -John Oliver

• "Always get a contract when working with a dark, omnipotent power." -Joel Robinson, Mystery Science Theater 3000

• "Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Can't he just show them a pie chart or something?" -Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000

• "No, no they're not eating people anymore, because we made it illegal." -Wendigoon

• "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." -Douglas Adams

• "Girls were falling all over me in school, and not just because I would extend my leg when they walked by." -Count Olaf, A Series of Unfortunate Events

• "If God were edible, not that I'm Catholic, but if it was cool to eat God, he'd be a chicken finger." -Troy Barnes, Community

• "I'm like the fun dad that comes and brings you a bike but doesn't pay child support" -Chris Tergliafera

• "The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

• "You can run, but death runs slightly faster." -Flamingo

• "Studies show keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I have ten guns for if some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here." -Grunkle Stan, Gravity Falls

•"Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway." -Crow, Mystery Science Theater 3000

Quotes on Life:

• "If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go crazy." -Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

• "Remember what the good book says: Love thy neighbor, or I'll punch your lights out!" -Father John Mulcahy, M*A*S*H

• "It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing." -Lemony Snicket

•"All my life, I have been happiest when the folks watching me said to each other, 'Look at the poor dope, will ya?'." -Buster Keaton

• "At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey." -Lemony Snicket

• "Honest to god-or whoever's in charge-you are not alone." -Harlan Ellison

• "You are not entitled to your opinion, you are entitled to your informed opinion. If you are not informed on the subject, then your opinion counts for nothing." -Harlan Ellison

• "If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble." -Betty White

• "As a child, I considered such unknowns sinister. Now, though, I understand they bear no ill will. The universe is, and we are." -Solanum, Outer Wilds

• "While skepticism is healthy, cynicism, real cynicism, is toxic." -John Oliver

•"You can wish your life away. But if you're going to dream, you're going to have to get out and, like I always say, you have to put some wings on them dreams, and some feet and fingers and some hands. They gotta get into some stuff. You can't just sit around and think of all the things you want to do. You've got to think of what you want to do, and then you've got to get out and make that happen." -Dolly Parton

• "Be yourself. No one can say you're doing it wrong." -Charles Schulz

• "It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things." -Lemony Snicket

•"If you know someone whos depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn't a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather." -Stephen Fry

• "When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them." -Lemony Snicket

• "Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life." -Dolly Parton

• "Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily." -Lemony Snicket

• "Don’t try to be young. Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won’t live long enough to find out about, but I’m still curious about them." -Betty White

• "I know that pain is the most important thing in the universes. Greater than survival, greater than love, greater even than the beauty it brings about. For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. And without these, life is endless, hopeless, doomed and damned. Adult. You have become adult." -Harlan Ellison

• "I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." -Robin Williams

•"Find out who you are. And do it on purpose." -Dolly Parton

• "Like a wind crying endlessly through the universe, time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we were, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment." -Harlan Ellison

• "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." -Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring

• "Not all those who wander are lost." -Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

• "Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me. Make your life spectacular." -Robin Williams

• "I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it." -Sally Brown, Peanuts

• "It’s [old age] not a surprise, we knew it was coming – make the most of it. So you may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in your mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game." -Betty White

• "Don't be scared of dying, be more frightened that you haven't finished living." -Dick Van Dyke

• "In lieu of even as you’re waiting for a major change that you think might not come, incremental change is possible and valuable." -John Oliver

• "You can lie to anyone in the world and even get away with it, perhaps, but when you are alone and look into your own eyes in the mirror, you can’t sidestep the truth. Always be sure you can meet those eyes directly." -Betty White

Quotes that go Hard:

• "In death, there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mishaps, and no escapes." -Bludworth, Final Destination

• "War isn't hell. War is war and hell is hell, and of the two war is worse!" - Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

• "I'm sorry, if you were right, l'd agree with you." -Robin Williams

• “To linger on an ending is to rob it of its life.” -The Shifting Mound, Slay the Princess

• "There is only me. There is only my way. There is only the forest. And there is only surrender." -The Beast, Over the Garden Wall

• "Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?" -Davy Jones, Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

• "When belief in a god dies, the god dies." -Harlan Ellison

• "There are few things more terrifying than one's own heart, and there is almost nothing more terrifying than sharing it with another. But most terrifying of all is leaving one's heart unshared." -The Moment of Clarity, Slay the Princess

• "I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid." -Harlan Ellison

• "In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by people who thought they were doing the right thing." -Lucy van Pelt, Peanuts

• "I bet we were fun." -Gamora, Guardians of the Galaxy 3

• "A thousand staring morsels stood, and not one of them believed themselves sane to look upon it. And in the centre, the door that would open to all the places that were never there, was me." -Michael, The Magnus Archives

"Ain't that just the way." -Greg, Over the Garden Wall

• "The pain of your absence is sharp and haunting, and I would give anything not to know it; anything but never knowing you at all (which would be worse)." -Plume, Outer Wilds

"Only things that one could imagine happening to real people, I guess, remain in a person's memory." -Buster Keaton

• "Look, I've got a gun out there in my purse. And up to now, I've been forgiving and forgetting because of the way I was brought up. But I'll tell you one thing: If you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine... And I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!" -Doralee Rhodes, 9 to 5

• "You're only given a spark of madness. You musn't lose it." -Robin Williams

• "All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog." -Charles Schulz

•"...How beautiful. It’s different than I’d envisioned. Whatever happens next, I do not think it is to be feared." -The Prisoner, Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye

[android-and-ale]

50 Lighthearted Sci-Fi Shows List (2024 edition)

Shows with Episodes in 2024:

Lower Decks

Resident Alien

Mrs. Davis

Star Trek: Prodigy

Alphabetical List pre-2024

Agents of Shield: Peggy Carter

Agents of Shield (the last season had a lot of lighthearted time travel)

Avenue 5

Battlestar Galactica (1978 - NOT the 2000’s reboot!)

Better off Ted

Buck Rogers

Chuck

Dark Matter (2015)

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (starting in season 2; skip s1)

Dead Like Me

Doctor Who (selected episodes)

Doom Patrol

Eureka

Extra Ordinary

Farscape

Firefly

Futurama

Future Man

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy 

Hyperdrive

iZombie

Killjoys

The Librarians

Lexx

Making History

Max Headroom

The Middleman (the only one I haven’t seen. It’s damn hard to find)

The Misfits

Mork and Mindy

Mystery Science Theater 3000

The Neighbors

The Orville

Other Space

People of Earth

Powerless

Pushing Daisies

Third Rock from the Sun

Red Dwarf

Santa Clarita Diet

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

Stargate SG-1

Star Trek: Lower Decks

The Tick

Quantum Leap

Upload

Warehouse 13

[writebackatya]

Major Courage, eh? Sounds interesting. Is that the OG DuckTales character who was a astronaut on a Tv show and then everyone actually ends up in space and Launchpad saves the day? Or is this someone different? I don’t remember the dudes name but I’m guessing that’s who he is

Yep! He’s that generic Captain Kirk parody from that tv show Courage of the Cosmos from the OG DuckTales episode Where No Duck Has Gone Before

Anyway The Courage of the Cosmos Christmas Special: How Major Courage Saved Christmas! is gonna be a Home for the Holidays! story starring a bunch of DuckTales’s snarkiest characters and BOYD

Basically B.O.Y.D., Gandra, Gosalyn, Lena, and Louie are all at McDuck Manor and taking a break from holiday party there by hanging out in the tv room watching this cheesy Christmas special from the 80’s and riffing on it (well except BOYD who doesn’t understand why the other four are watching the special when they clearly don’t like it…or do they?)

I decided to start the Home for the Holidays! series when I was watching Mystery Science Theater 3000, more specifically the episode where they were watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, so this story is directly inspired by that show’s concept. As well as one of my favorite holiday traditions of rewatching cheesy Christmas special with loved ones and making fun of them

[thinkbolt]

NO SPRINGS!!!

[marypickfords]

Have you seen Mystery Science Theater 3000’s riff on The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? It’s AMAZING.

nope, not my thing

[fearsmagazine]

DESTROY ALL NEIGHBORS - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Shudder

SYNOPSIS: William Brown is a neurotic, self-absorbed musician determined to finish his prog-rock magnum opus while working as an engineer at a recording studio. He currently faces a creative roadblock, a noisy and grotesque neighbor named Vlad. Finally working up the nerve to confront Vlad to keep it down, William inadvertently decapitates him. But, while attempting to cover up one murder, William’s accidental reign of terror causes victims to pile up and become undead corpses who torment and create more bloody detours on his road to prog-rock Valhalla. In addition, it is causing havoc on his relationship with his girlfriend.

REVIEW: Filmmaker Josh Forbes takes his skills as a director of music videos to serve up an old school horror film with one of the legendary special effects makeup designers, Gabe Bartalos (Basket Case 2/Frankenhooker/Leprechaun). DESTROY ALL NEIGHBORS is a wicked goopy comedy overflowing with practical effects and buckets of blood.

The plot is your basic tale of a stress filled and frustrated aspiring musician who is on his last nerve. A series of events culminates with his new bizarre neighbor moving in and pushing him over the edge. Confronting his neighbor Vlad is the first in a series of unfortunate events that is filled with death and mayhem. There is a quality to the narrative that feels reminiscent of 1985’s “Return of the Living Dead.” The story nicely focuses on William and his spiral out of control. To some degree it feels like a journey to an insane Oz.

The narrative is magically brought to life by a fantastic cast. Jonah Ray Rodrigues’ William is a blend of Joel from “Mystery Science Theater 3000” as he channels a bit of Bruce Campbell. He brings a lot of energy to the performance and seamlessly switches between mental states that showcases a classic mastery of slapstick. Adding his dynamic energy to the film is actor Alex Winter as Vlad. Best known for his role in “The Lost Boys” and the “Bill & Ted” film franchise, the great prosthetic makeup design permits him to create a unique performance. The rest of the cast is an amalgamation of talented actors that deliver unique performances that add to the horror and comedy.

DESTROY ALL NEIGHBORS has a classic look and feel, largely due to the practical effects and special effects makeup. The cinematography, framing, editing and lighting all harken back to the best of the 80’s franchise genre films.There were numerous moments where I found myself nodding my head and uttering “nice” at sequences and gags. Clearly they went through buckets of blood on this shoot. Ryan Kattner & Brett Morris’ score and music for the film nicely adds atmosphere, accentuates the mayhem and gore, and adds this fun take on Wliiam’s musical dreams. FYI, the official motion picture soundtrack will be available digitally worldwide on all digital platforms January 12th, including Spotify, Apple, Amazon, Bandcamp and SubPop.com.

Start 2024 the fright way with an instant genre classic, DESTROY ALL NEIGHBORS. It's a dandy of a gorefest thanks to esteemed special effects artist Gabe Bartalos. Jonah Ray Rodrigues and Alex Winter are among the noteworthy cast members, along with a monstrous score that make this an exceptional viewing experience. The film also makes for a wicked introduction to the bloody era of horror for younger viewers. An excellent reason to subscribe to Shudder this month, among many other reasons.

CAST: Jonah Ray Rodrigues, Alex Winter, Kiran Deol, Christian Calloway, Randee Heller, DeMorge Brown, Jon Daly, Phil Hendrie, Ryan Kattner, and Thomas Lennon. CREW: Director - Josh Forbes; Screenplay - Charles Pieper & Jared Logan; Producers - Russell Sanzgiri, Alex Winter, & Jonah Ray Rodrigues; Cinematographer - Will Stone; Score - Ryan Kattner & Brett Morris; Editor - Hank Friedmann; Production Designer - Kati Simon; Wardrobe Supervisor - Aoife Baker; Special Effects Supervisor - Ben Gojer; Special Effects - Atlantic West Effects; Special Make-Up Effects & Sculpture - Gabe Bartalos; Visual Effects Supervisor - Casey Price. OFFICIAL: www.watchdestroy.com FACEBOOK: N.A. TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/ru1OuYNQDtY?si=yvtiKEj4sz3aMAiM RELEASE DATE: Streaming on Shudder January 12th, 2024

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay), or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri