#Rwby Ozpin

[pedanticat]

Oscar: I shouldn't be surprised you're so familiar with fairy tales.

Oz: I've lived through my share of them.

Oscar: I've been the subject of a couple of fairy tales myself.

Jaune: You mean Ozpin has, right?

[arc-misadventures]

Artificial Romance

Jaune: Penny... We... Well, I have a problem... a very serious problem...

Penny: What sort of problem do you have?

Jaune: Since joining the, Atlas AI Corp, General Ironwood assigned me to the Rouge AI Containment Division.

Penny: Yes the, RAICD group. I believe the, General assigned you to, RAICD because your massive aura reserves, and your semblance can be used to bolster your aura so you can handle any rouge AI attacks when you're plugged in. Is there something wrong with your aura when you're plugged in?

Jaune: No, I'm doing find, my aura is dealing with the feed back, and I don't usually have to recharge my aura. However, because of this, General Ironwood decided that I would be of better use if I was to be assigned to deal with the: Strategic Attack Logistic Engine Mainframe.

Penny: The Strategic Attack Log…?! SALEM?! That Anti-Grimm AI, Professor Ozmins made that went rouge because of how he treated it?! That lead him into a feedback loop that eventually killed him?! That managed to break away from the Atlas Grid, and managed to transfer itself to a, Atlas Research Lab deep in the Valian mountain range, and started a building an AI army to protect itself?! And, has started hunting down, Ozmins reincarnated soul because he has been trying to kill this AI?!

Jaune: Yeah.. that AI...

Penny: Why would the, General do that?!

Jaune: Because, SALEM has attacked several, Atlas facilities, and have stolen, Atlas tech from weapons to robot schematics. SALEM has become so sophisticated that it now has an artificial AI body that has aura mimicking abilities. Salem is a security risk to the whole world!

Jaune: Or, at least she could be...

Penny: She? SALEM has a self identified gender?

Jaune: Since she's was the first AI, and has started an army of semi-killer robots; Salem calls herself, The Mother of AI.

Penny: Okay... that's new information, and is a logically sound explanation. Is that the reason why your telling me you have a problem?

Jaune: No... You see, at first when I was trying to get into her systems she detected me almost imminently, and attacked me. I activated my aura as soon as she struck, because she hits hard! Seriously, I had a headache for days after that. But, as a side effect of me using my aura to protect myself, it also bled off of me, and into, SALEM's artificial aura generator.

Penny: What? But, you’ve tried doing that when jacked with other operators, you aura never bleeds of to others, and bolsters their aura. Not to mention you did this to an artificial aura generator; What’s going on, Jaune?

Jaune: I don’t know, my best theory is that because she was talking me when I boosted my aura it melded with hers, thus supplementing, and boosting her artificial aura with my own.

Penny: Hmm… That’s a logical hypothesis. Has anything else happened.

Jaune: Yeah... I think that my aura has effected her... in a manner of speaking.

Penny: What manner?

Jaune: Salem has become rather friendly towards me… I dare say one could consider her behaviour towards me as, affectionate.

Penny: Affectionate? It’s being ‘nice’ to you…?

Jaune: It seems so. At least she’s that way with me... Salem will still attack others that try to enter her domain, or attempt to attack her. But, after our first encounter I tried to enter her programming again, and several attempts after that where I faced the same results: Her attacking me, and the activating of my semblance, and my aura bleeding off, and being absorbed by her. Eventually, instead of attacking me, Salem seemingly welcome me into her domain with open arms. Like welcoming a close friend in your home. And, after a while... I received a message on my scroll, from, Salem.

Penny: It sent you its scroll number? No wait, it has a scroll?! No stop that, what did it say? Waitwaitwait! How did she get your scroll number?!

Jaune: She followed my entry point from where I jacked in, and entered the systems to hack my information.

Penny: The, ‘Locked Gate Protocol.’ You were the reason why we have that protocol now, aren’t you?

Jaune: Yes, but it makes logical sense to have such security measures. Salem, or any other rouge AI were unable to sneak in that way because either the operative, and the AI were locked in combat, or the operatives brain was fried severing the connection.

Penny: True, leaving the front door unlocked as you leave the house is a foolish mistake to make. But, what anout, SALEM, what did it want to talk about?

Jaune: She simply said, ‘hello’ at first. But, after a while we started chatting. It was about simple things at first, music was the main subject for a while; Salem was a love for classical, and orchestral music.l, and is fascinated with, Vaccuoin dessert stonework so much so, she has based her current robotic form around some of their ancient statues, particularly those from the Stllyian Ear.

Penny: How do you know what she looks like? We haven’t gotten close to her base to confirm if she’s even there, let alone what she actually looks like.

Jaune: Salem’s been sending me photos of her latest projects: be it her own attempts at creating art, or sending me images of her robot forms. She tends to update, or redesign her form constantly, ahead of rather picky with her appearance so it seems.

Penny: And, What does she look like?

Jaune: Like this…

Jaune: At least for now. Like most woman she’s picky about her choice in fashion.

Penny: I see… But, there is one thing I don’t understand, Jaune. Why is, SALEM doing all of this? Why is it talking to you, and befriending you instead of trying to, you know… Kill you?

Jaune: Have you read the reports os how, SALEM’s AI went rouge?

Penny: Of course, the reports are standard reading for all new members of the, Atlas AI Corp.

Jaune: Have you seen the videos about those ‘reports?’

Penny: Video? What video! All information, bar what Ozkin has divulged was lost when, SALEM went rou… Unless… unless, SALEM kept a copy…

Jaune: Several copies… Ozmin’s report said he put it through, ‘several high lever stress tests’ in order to, ‘test the AI’s endurance levels.’ The way he worded it made it sound like he was withholding a child’s meal…

Penny: It wasn’t like that, was it?

Jaune: Worse… Much worse than that… These ‘high level stress tests,’ he would run, were akin to severing a leg from a person by brute force, and testing it to see how well it could run.

Penny: Oh gods…

Jaune: If his tests were done on a human, or faunas, Ozmin would be labeled a psychopath, and locked away for inhumane human experimentation. But, because, Salem was an AI he got away with it. Honestly, I’m tempted to let, Salem know where, Ozkin is so she can exact her revenge on the bastard.

Penny: But, why is it so… so kind to you?

Jaune: Because I was kind to her.

Penny: What?

Jaune: You know how I operate; I don’t come in, and go on the offensive when I first arrive. I circle the program, poke, and prod the rouge AI’s matrix looking for a chink I can exploit. And, when I find that chink, I attack, make it worse, pull away, and repeat the process somewhere else until I’ve destroyed the rouge AI’s matrix.

Penny: I believe that’s how you earned the moniker of, The Shark of the Matrix.

Jaune: Correct. This is what I did with, Salem. Salem used to go on the offensive as soon as I entered her domain. But, she eventually stopped attacking me after my, Semblance bled off into her enough times where she would just watch me as I circled her. Eventually, Salem asked me who I was, and we established a dialogue. And, as I mentioned we just talked about random things, and just had some fun hanging around one another.

Penny: Are you lulling her into a false sense of security before you attack her?

Jaune: I have no intention of attacking her.

Penny: You don’t?! But, why?

Jaune: I don’t want to.

Penny: But… why?

Jaune: Salem… Salem is like an abused dog…

Penny: An abused dog?

Jaune: Yes, an abused dog; Is a dog is abused, and mistreated by it’s owner, the dog will become violent, and dangerous. It’s a defence mechanism, hurt them before they hurt you as the saying goes. Now the best way to break a dog of this habit, without killing the dog!

Penny: I wasn’t going to say it!

Jaune: The best way to break the dog of this habit is to show it love, and compassion. It will bite you, but eventually it will stop, and want to comfort you, and be loved. It will take time, but it can be done.

Penny: And, that’s what you’ve done with, SALEM?

Jaune: Not deliberately, but that is what eventually happened. I’m hoping to explain this to, General Ironwood, and I hope we can come to a truce of sorts with, Salem. But… Ozkin has been whispering into his ears for too long, and the, General suffers from a sense of parinoia… I doubt I could say would change anything… But… There is one more problem that I am unsure what to say…

Penny: What is it?

Jaune: Salem… likes me…

Penny: It likes you...?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Penny… there's a rouge AI that has a crush on me...

Penny: …?!

Penny: The fuck...?

Jaune: Yeah...

Penny: How do you feel about all of... this?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I’m not sure if I love her… But, I do know that I care for, Salem. And, I want her to know what it feels like to be loved, to hopefully help her forget all the pain, Ozmin inflicted on her.

Penny: Jaune, I don't know where, or how you should take all of... this! I’m an android who’s only a few years old, so I don’t really understand love, and romance. But, if anything is going to happen, whether you develop a romance with an evil AI that wants to kill everyone in the world. I just want to tell you this one thing…

Jaune: And, that is?

Penny: 'Do not fist android girls.'

Jaune: ...

Penny: …

Jaune: But... what about my aura?

Penny: …?!

Penny:

OH MY GODS?!!

[juanarc-thethird]

What if...

Jaune is the key to defeating Salem ------------

Ozpin, taking control of Oscar's body, watches from afar as Jaune is telling the children about his adventures in the Ever After. Behind him comes a worried Glynda looking at the same scene.

Glynda: So when the time comes…Jaune must die?

Ozpin: Yes…

Ozpin checks his phone, showing copies of writings that talk about what really happened in the Ever After with Jaune written by Lewis. Secrets that only he and his intimate group know what they mean.. Documents that he had in his possession long before he met Jaune.

Ozpin: Yes… he must die.

Glynda: You kept him alive so that he would die at the appropriate time.

Ozpin raises his gaze back to Jaune and watches as he makes the children laugh with his silly imitations of his friends.

Glynda: You cared for him like a pig for the slaughter.

Ozpin: Don't tell me now that you've grown fond of him? *He says with a cold tone*

Glynda just stays silent, looking at Jaune with pain. Knowing very well what is at stake.

[ficretus]

RWBY teams get reorganized.

CRWBY: Hello RWBY characters.

Ruby: Who are you? Are you Gods?

Salem: Please tell me you are destroying the world.

Cinder: What do you mean RWBY characters? Does that mean that brat is the protagonist?

CRWBY: No, no, yes. Higher ups in Viz demanded we make some changes to the show. So we are gonna reorganize the teams based on the origin of their fairy tale allusion.

Yang: I didn't understand a single word you just said.

CRWBY: Andddd... reshuffle!

*magic poof*

TEAM GERMANY:

Ruby: Why do I no longer like strawberries and cookies?

Weiss: Take this pretzel and shut up.

Ruby: Weiss? We are still partners?

Weiss: Of course we are, nothing can separate us.

Ruby: That's great. Where are the others?

Weiss: It appears they are not German enough for our team.

Ruby: Look! There is another one of our teammates! *turns into rose petals*

Weiss: Ruby, don't jump a complete stranger like that.

Ruby: *tackles them down* Hello, I am Ruby Ro... oh.

Salem: Somehow this curse keeps getting worse.

Weiss: Scheisse!

TEAM FRANCE:

Oscar: I hope ze Ruby is my partner, hon hon hon. Ugh, what the hell happened to my voice.

Ozpin: Oscar, you are taking a dangerous route I cannot follow.

Oscar: Oz, what ze happening?

Ozpin: You are turning French. *soul gets ejected from Oscar's body*

Oscar: Nooooooo. It feels like part of me is missing now. I have a sudden urge to fill it with cheese and wi... Sacrebleu, I am really turning into ze Frenchman. I need to talk to someone, where are my teammates. *hears loud noises* There they are.

*walks up*

Oscar: Bonj... Hello, I am Oscar.

Cinder: We know who you are Farm Boy. Now, as the leader of this team...

Jaune: Who the hell put you in charge of this team?! Why are you even on this team, Cinderella story has many origins!

Cinder: Because I am Cinderella with glass slippers nimrod! Only French one has glass slippers!

Jaune: Great, I'm on the team with Pyrrha's murderer.

Cinder: Oh give me a break, they revived her. She is over there tossing Mercury. You are just salty because now there is no excuse for you not getting laid.

Oscar: Wait, why am I the only one with ze French accent?

Blake: Because you are an impressionable kid.

Oscar: Blake! You are ze here too!

Blake: *chuckles* Yes I am.

Jaune: Oh shut up!

Cinder: Make me!

Blake: How long will it take before they start making out?

TEAM ENGLAND:

Yang: Of course it's raining. Can this place get any worse?

Jax: Hello peasant.

Yang: I am gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

Jax: Me and my sister need someone to observe our polo game. Now move your arse.

Gilian: Polo? I am not playing polo with you Jax. You always rile up my horse with your Semblance!

Jax: So what? Are we suppose to just sit here and drink tea?

Gilian: I wouldn't mind that. Peasant, bring us some tea! And make sure it is Darjeeling, otherwise I might throw up.

*Yang knocks out both*

Yang: Can't pretend twice in the row.

Blake: Yang, is that you?

Yang: Blake! Where are you?

Blake: I am on the other side of the Channel!

Yang: What's going on on the other side?

Blake: Jaune and Cinder fighting... scratch that... making out. Oscar is losing himself to his French side. Toss me some fish and chips before his Frenchness fully overtakes him. You know what, throw some for me as well.

Yang: Are we suppose to be enemies now that you are French and I'm English?

Blake: Yes we are, but that's so hot.

Yang: Oh yeah. Wait, someone else is here.

Robyn: *pickpocketing Asturias siblings* No time to explain, I'm repurposing their funds.

TEAM NORDIC:

Winter: This is something new. I... I've never had a partner or team. I just hope it's not...

Qrow: Hello Ice Queen!

Winter: Branwen...

Qrow: It turns out Ice Queen is based on Snow Queen, how original.

Winter: What are you even doing here? Don't you have some other places to be, other people to bother?

Qrow: Nope, I am as Nordic as it gets. It turns out I am based on one of the Odin's messengers. Other one being... oh crap.

Raven: Hello brother!

Qrow: Raven... Don't you have some other places to be, family members to abandon?

Raven: And miss out on this? No way.

Winter: Wait a minute... You kidnapped Weiss!

Raven: Oh please, she ran into me. Can hardly count it as kidnapping.

Winter: Oh don't worry, this will hardly count as a beatdown. *draws swords*

Raven: Pfff, another Maiden to beat.

Nora: Heya Qrow, what did I miss.

Qrow: Not much kid, just some of the reasons I started drinking.

TEAM USA:

Ozpin: Come on James, don't be a buzzkill, we are doing the Wizard of Oz walk.

Ironwood: I am starting to believe that it wasn't a coincidence I tried to kill you.

Ozpin: Ha ha ha, good old James and his deadpan humor.

*walks down the road holding hands with Glynda, Theodore and Lionheart*

Adam: So, drinking alone on the sideline.

Ironwood: What are you doing here Taurus? Aren't you suppose to be on Team France?

Adam: Well, I tried. But they argued I don't count since most of my allusion comes from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. And Blake filed a restraining order... typical.

Ironwood: You know I can have you arrested.

Adam: Arrest a teammate? Who does that?

Ironwood: I do.

Adam: Fair enough. You know, I stabbed a teammate before.

Ironwood: Cheers.

Adam: Cheers.

TEAM ITALY:

Penny: *sad lonely robot noises* Wait, who is there?

Neo: *signs* It's me, Neo. *sits next to Penny*

Penny: Aren't you based on an ice cream?

Neo: *signs* It's an Italian ice cream. Do you want to be alone?

Penny: No. *shifts closer*

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Laios: Oh, So these "Grimm" just dissolve away? You can't eat them?

Jaune: UNfortunately no, these things aren't like any other animals on the planet. Nora claims to have took a bite of one once! She said it tasted like Charcoal mixed with blood.

Laios: Hmm. Doesn't sound appetizing. Man, I was hoping to try one of them.

Jaune: Really? Well- I guess eating other kinds of monsters makes sense. Are they any good?\

Laios: Of course - not everything is edible but if you know how to prepare it-

~~~~~

Blake: *Stare*

Izutsumi: *Stare*

~~~~~

Tai: *Avoiding the Elephant in the room* ...

Chilchuck: *Also avoiding the Elephant in the room* ...

Tai: ... You know, I've never really picked up any of the 'Finer' Skills, always been more of a Brawler than anything. I've always thought about learning how to pick locks, just in case I lock my keys in my car or something.

Chilchuck: I ... I could try and Teach you if you'd like?

~~~~~

Ozpin: It's always nice to see a young practitioner of the arts.

Marcille: hey! Just because I'm only 50 doesn't mean I'm young! I'm probably older than you!

Ozpin: Heh. I can assure you, you are not. *Sip*

Marcille: Hey, what's that?

Ozpin: Hot Chocolate. Would you like some?

Marcille: Yes Please!

~~~~~

Senshi: ... When you're plating it up, just spoon the Curry over rice, garnish with a sprig of rosemary, and it's done!

Ren: *Accepting a bowl* Hmm. I never thought of using Eggs like that ... Let alone soft-shelled eggs.

Nora: *Happily taking a bowl* It Smells Delicious! I don't know that I've ever smelled anything so ... Warm?

Senshi: Well, Dig in! Let me know how it Tastes!

*Nom* *Bite*

Ren: ...

Nora: ...

Senshi: What d'ya think? Is it Good?

Ren: *Tearing up* It's ... It's fantastic ...

Nora: *Openly weeping as she horks it down* ITSH SHO GOO!

Ren: The Creaminess, the spice, the fat from the pork ... I Can't believe it ...

Senshi: Well, that's great to hear, but I can't help but notice You're actin' like you've never had a home-cooked meal before!

Ren: The closest Nora's ever gotten was from me. The day we she was fighting for a piece of bread from the garbage. Then My village was attacked, Overrun ... AS far as we know we're the only survivors. I learned how to cook for us using what we had, but it's never ... I've never felt like I had the chance ...

Senshi: ... You were just to kids fending for yourselves?

Nora: *Gulp* I mean, not all the time! We just got sick of oatmeal and gruel and whatever canned pasta was being served and learned to make our own food!

Nora: well ... Ren learned how to cook for us. *Holding out her bowl* More please?

Senshi: Uh, Certainly! *Taking her bowl and filling it*

Senshi: *thinking about what he went through*

Senshi: Hey, you two *He stands to his full height* I Believe that no one Should go Hungry! And the fact the two of you had to go through something so horrible and then have had to scrounge to make something half decent really ticks me Off!

Senshi: I swear that whenever we meet again I'll cook you the tastiest, most nutritional meal I can whip up! You kids have more than earned it with all you've been through!

Nora: *Gasp* Really!

Senshi: Yes, really!

Nora: Thankyouthaknyouthankyou!

Ren: *Finishing his bowl* Thank you very much Sir! And Nora, please slow down, you'll get a stomach ache from eating so fast.

[obligatoryjauneblog]

Jaune: It's funny, y'know?

Ozpin: Pardon?

Jaune: I spent... decades, literal lifetimes dwelling on you and your actions... and here I am, same state as you.

Ozpin: And what would that be, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Out of time.

[sunnysunsins]

I did a thing

Me when i heard "Just a man" for like the 4th time: "hmmmm why does it make me think of that one line from The Infinite man? Oh yeah, because it's literally the same sentiment" and then we're here

I may or may not have hyperfixated on this and did 75% of it in 3 days. Oops.

Also hi people from Epic tags, ily~ Idk what yall think of crossovers, but please watch this too, but there are spoilers for RWBY, obv. And despite what haters like to screech, it is a good show that gets gradually better and better.

[akira-the-graphophile]

Is it just me or the volume 9 ost is just perfect? I was saving the songs that i liked while watching this whole show and the most songs that i saved are from volume 9. Its either that or im just a sucker for this show which is also most likely but WHO CARES! I just finished the whole series in two days 😎😎😎 and after hearing the ost i wanna go back and watch it again just to pay attention more.

Also its fascinating to see how much the animation quality got better and better each season. Like in the first season they didnt bother to animate the NPCs but now! And dont even get me started on this story!

I cant believe im just finding this show and not sooner! I envy all the people who started watching this series early on and actually experienced these changes and upgrades! you guys must feel so proud! I know i am even tho im a two day old fan 😅😅😅😅 BUT THIS WAS PERFECT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

imma probably write some stuff abt this show too like i did for tdp and i dont even know where to start!!! Theres so many places i wanna talk about!!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE HAS FUNFACTS OR ANYTHING THEY WANNA SHARE ABT THE SHOW PLS DO TELL I WANNA KNOW MORE!!

[pixelpayaso]

Ozpin 💚🕰️⚙️

[spahhzy]

And thus apocalypse spoke...

-

Cinder laughed as all around her destruction and chaos reigned.

Neo, Team RWBY, Winter, Nora , Oscar, and Ren laid defeated.

All that remained...

Was Jaune Arc.

Cinder: Poor, Jaune Arc, I've killed all your friends, and now two of your partners. Was It merely luck that they both loved you? Who knows! Now, if you could please. Hand. Over. The Relic of Destruction and I can send you to meet them.

Jaune said nothing as he raised himself up from the ground.

Cinder: *sigh* always so defiant even when all is lost for you.

Jaune was still quiet as he began to glow a white.

Cinder: Pfft. Healing yourself? It won't save you.

Jaune was still quiet as he looked at the relic of destruction in his right hand, the relic just a pommel of a sword.

Cinder: Yes, just give that to me, and I'll give you a swift and merciful death. Like I gave your dear Pyrrha all them years ago, and just like I gave Neo.

Jaune gripped the pommel tightly before suddenly swiping said pommel at the ground.

Cinder just stood amused at the fool playing pretend.

Cinder: Yes, yes, you can play imagination when your de-

Cinder stopped her sentence, and her eyes widened as the relic began to glow.

Cinder: W-what!? That's not possible! It can't be!

Jaune just looked down at the glowing pommel as suddenly a blade began to materialize out of nothing.

The blade, a shimmering shining gold that contrasts with the inky black pommel.

Jaune looked at the newly formed blade.

Jaune: I don't know whether this was pity, amusement, or a geninue act of kindness from you: spirit, but it doesn't matter you've given me a chance, so im indebted to you...now Cinder...

Cinder, still baffled at how the relic of destruction chose a weakling like Jaune Arc as its wielder, could only look as Jaune began to move toward her.

Jaune: You die here.

Jaune:

[lovingdabeessss]

Yang and Ruby are so sisters with their passing out seeing hallucinations falling to their deaths second to last episode of a season getting attacked emotionally by a raccoon

You can barely tell they’re only half sisters

Also poor Weiss she has SO MUCH GOING ON and is somehow keeping it together

[arc-misadventures]

That Backfired, Sorta?

Salem standing over a bruised, and beaten, Jaune Arc bound to a chair. Preparing to interrogate him for information on the, Relic of Destruction.

Salem: I do find torture quite ineffective as a means of extracting information. So I choose to use more refined methods of information.

Jaune: Like… Grimm mind bugs that dig into my brain to get information?!

Salem: No.

Jaune: Oh that gods…

Salem: The shock from the bug going in kills them before anything can be extracted.

Jaune: Eh?!

Salem: Besides I have a far more effective means of getting information.

Jaune: Like what?

Salem: I can read minds.

Jaune: You can?!

Salem: I can.

Jaune: If you can do that, why did you beat, Oscar to a pulp instead of doing that?

Salem: Ozma.

Jaune: …

Jaune: Fuck that’s a good reason… B-But, you shouldn’t read my mind!

Salem: And, why shouldn’t I do that?

Jaune: You just shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t do that!

Salem: Oh~? Afraid I’ll find what I’m looking for if I do?

Jaune: I prefer if you did honestly…

Salem: Alright then. Let’ssee where your little friends have hidden my Relics!

Salem stared at, Jaune in the eyes, as a pearlescent screen covered her eyes as she stared into the depths of, Jaune’s.

Salem: “Now then, lets see what you’re trying to hide~!”

Jaune: P-Please … Stop!

Jaune could hear her voice in his head, he yelled in fear as she opened a door leading to that secret he was trying to keep away from her.

She smiled as she forced her way through the door, and as she entered the room in his mind her smile swiftly fell.

Salem: “W-What is this?”

Salem: “ … “

Salem: “Wait… i-i-is he kissing me?!”

Salem: “Why is he taking his shirt off?!”

Salem: “Ohh~! D-Did he just grab my b…?”

Salem: “Why is he taking his pants… Oh…? Oh my~!”

Jaune: What’s going on?!

Salem: “Really? Do you think you can so easily bed a, Queen with just that”

Jaune: B-Bed?

Salem: “Mmm~! So forceful~!”

Jaune: Get out of my head!

Salem: “What is this position?”

Jaune: The fuck are you talking about?!!

Salem: “You are so, so much bigger than, Ozma~!”

Jaune: Uhh…? Context?

Salem: “Inside? But, what if…? No… that’s precisely what you want, isn’t it?”

Jaune: What is it that I want?

Salem: “Oh you naughty boy~! Oh, what’s this? Aww… it’s over already?”

Jaune: What’s over already? Ahh?! What the hell are you looking at?!

Salem: “Oh? What’s this…?”

Jaune: What now?!

Salem: “My hand…? Is that… is that a ring? And, wait… my belly…”

Jaune: A ring, belly? Whaaaa?

Salem; “A boy…?”

Jaune: Eh?

Salem: “I never had a boy before…”

Jaune:Okayyyyy…?

Salem: “Oh, what’s this? Your mother’s record?”

Jaune: What record…?

Salem: “I could beat that, easily~!”

Jaune: What?!

Salem: “Wait? W-Where’s my baby boy?! Where’s my child?! And, whose hand is this?! Wait… This is… this is your hand…”

Jaune: My hand?

Salem: “Why is it all so wrinkly? Wait, no! Nonononono! Don’t tell me! Not again?!”

Jaune: What are you talking about?

Salem: “Y-You’re not leaving me…? B-But… you’re dying…”

Jaune: I’m dying?!

Salem: “In my heart…? you’ll always be with me… even if it’s just as a beautiful memory in my heart…?”

Salem: “I won’t be alone? How is that… My children…? My grandchildren…”

Salem: “I won’t be alone… I will still be loved… I will have a family…?”

Jaune: Okay stop this! G-G-Get out of my head!

Salem red eyes came back into view. She stared at, Jaune as she stood up, unsealing the bands that bound him to the chair.

Jaune rubbed his wrists as he watched, Salem take a nervous step away from him as a shy blush spread across her face.

Salem: Y-You said your name was, Jaune right?

Jaune: Yeah…?

Salem: So… do you want to try beating your mother record now, or would you prefer if we waited till after you’re body has healed?

Jaune: What are you talking…?!

Jaune stopped talking as he noticed something peculiar.

Jaune: “Why is she rubbing her thighs like that? The last time I saw a woman do that was when, Terra ask me to…?! Oh… Ohhhhhhh!”

Jaune: …

Jaune: N-Now is good…

Salem: Wonderful~!

[juanarc-thethird]

Dr. Arc #3

Jaune: *To de camera* A few days ago it was my birthday and my grandmother gave me one of her delicious pies, just for me. I brought my last piece here to eat with my lunch. But to make sure no one took it, I put it all the way to the back in the refrigerator and with several notes saying "Do not touch" and "Property of Dr. Arc."

---------

Jaune is placing his pie all the way in the back of the fridge and then starts putting everything else back inside.

---------

Jaune: There's no way anyone would eat it.

---------

Lunch time

Ren: Hey Jaune, today we're all going to eat outside in the garden. The weather is good today.

Jaune: Ok, I'll just finish some paperwork and catch up to you guys.

Ren: Sounds good. *leaves*

The camera shows how Jaune continues working but in the distance, through one of the clinic windows, you can see Ozpin checking the staff refrigerator.

---------

The scene changed with Jaune filing the papers in his file cabinet.

Jaune: Well, I'm done. Now it's time to eat my pie~

The camera follows him to the refrigerator. He starts taking things out, and when he gets to the end he freezes in place.

---------

Ozpin's Office

The camera shows Ozpin at his desk working on some papers.

Ozpin: *Drinking Coffe*

*Ting!*

Suddenly the camera changes direction to the elevator doors and Glynda appears.

Glynda: Ozpin, we have a problem.

---------

Staff room

The camera shows everyone scared as Jaune holds Yang hostage using a syringe.

Jaune: Ok motherfuckers! Who the hell ate my pie?!! Tell me now, or the girl gets it!

Yang: *Blushing* Oh god~💕 You are so strong~💕

Weiss: *Worry* Jaune, please calm down. We can talk about this in a civilized manner, let Yang go..

Yang: *Angry* Hey, don't ruin this to me. Don't listen to her, Jaune. Don't even think about letting me go from your strong arms~💕

Weiss: Yang, you're not helping!

Yang: You're jealous because he didn't choose you as a hostage.

Weiss: *Angry blushing* I'm not!!

Ozpin: What's going on here?!

The camera changes to Ozpin, with Glynda behind him. Everyone turns to see him.

Ozpin: Dr. Arc, what do you think you are doing? Let Professor Xiao Long go.

Jaune: No! Someone ate my pie and they don't tell me who it was. And I won't let her go until they tell me who it was.

Yang: Yes please~💕

Ozpin: Wait, are you perhaps talking about a lemon pie with chocolate chips?

Jaune: Yes, how do you know? It was wrapped in aluminum

Ozpin: Oh, I think I'm to blame in all this.

Jaune: Huh?

Ozpin: I'm very sorry Dr. Arc, but it seems that I ate your pie by mistake.

Jaune: But it had my name!

Ozpin: And I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that important to you.

Jaune: *Shock* You ate it all?

Ozpin: Not completely, it was too sweet for me. I threw the rest in the trash.

Jaune: *Surprise* You threw it in the trash?!

Ozpin: I hope you can forgive me.

Jaune: *Let Yang go* You know what, don't worry about it. Mistakes happen all the time, right.

Ozpin: Oh I'm glad to hear that. Well, with this resolved. Let's all go back to work, okay?

Ozpin turns around if he leaves, with Glynda following behind him. The camera then focuses on Jaune, who doesn't look away from Ozpin without blinking. It's kind of intimidating.

---------

Ozpin's office

Ozpin is looking out of his window at the scenery of the school and city. He holds up his cup of coffee and takes a sip.

*ting!*

Ozpin: hm?

The camera shows the elevator door to his office open with Jaune stepping out of it.

Ozpin: Dr. Arc, I was not expecting your visit. How can I help you??

Jaune: I came to give you my two weeks' notice.

He puts his letter on his desk and leaves. Ozpin takes the letter and begins to open it without looking away from Jaune.

Ozpin: Is it because I ate your pie? Please Dr. Arc, it was just an…

At that moment he reads the letter and it says:

"I will attack in two weeks."

Ozpin: ..Accident

He looks back at Jaune, and as the elevator doors close he can see an evil smile spread across his face. Then Jaune moves his lips without making any noise saying "two weeks." Ozpin starts to break out in a cold sweat.

Ozpin: I think I made a huge mistake.

[dragon-razor-writings]

Nora, T-posing in the doorway: “Greetings, Ozpin.”

Ozpin, not looking up from his coffee: "Good morning, problem child."

[thegrapefruitnerd]

I’ve gotten back into RWBY

worst mistake of my life I cannot stop thinking about The Charactes

[charlietheepicwriter7]

An alternate universe I feel is severely underused in the RWBY fandom is "Ruby Rose is the next incarnation of Ozma"

I've only seen it used like, twice, but it's so much fun. Ozpin and Ruby originally had this "wise but distant mentor and his plucky, innocent mentee that gets through his walls" vibe. It's both having unreasonable expectations placed on them that they suffer consequences for not measuring up to. It's suddenly having your favorite teacher around 24/7 to watch you do dumb stuff and commenting on it. It's Qrow, sobbing into a bottle because one day his niece is going to dissolve into the amalgamation that is Ozma. It could be so good guys.