#Russian soldiers discussed toilet bowls

[sportswearworldwide]

Russian soldiers stealing commodes in Ukraine

Ukraine-Russia War: Ukraine’s First Deputy Foreign Minister Emin Japarova made a shocking disclosure on Tuesday about Russian soldiers in Delhi. Emin Japarova criticized Russia for its invasion of Ukraine. Also claimed that when some conversations of Russian soldiers with their wives and mothers were intercepted, it was found that they were about stealing houses in Ukraine. During the theft,…

[darkarfs]

single moments from the Trump presidency that would have defined/ended any other politician’s career

- saying he could “buy Greenland” - suggesting it was a good idea to nuke hurricanes - saying there would be fewer forest fires if we just got rid of all the leaves - asking Trudeau if Canada had tried to burn down the White House - autographing pictures of shooting victims - when he kept talking about how they drop bowling balls on cars to test them in japan and no one could figure out where he could have even gotten the idea - when he suggested Seoul should just move away from the North Korean border - introducing West Virginia’s governor as ‘the largest, most beautiful man’ - when he tweeted SEE YOU IN COURT! right after an appeals court ruled against him. like. yeah man. they just did. - the time he didn't know how to close an umbrella so he just dropped it and walked away - fighting with the Vietnam vets over whether napalm or agent orange is used in the Ride of the Valkyries scene in Apocalypse Now and then when they insisted it was napalm, Trump said they disagreed with him because they didn't like the movie (The line is famously, literally “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”) - using his position as the single most powerful person in the world to promote Goya canned beans - when he bragged about the crowd size at the hurricane shelter in coastal Texas (”what a turnout”) - signing Bibles. What. - thinking the F-22 is invisible to the naked eye - smiling and giving a thumbs up during a photo op with a baby orphaned by a mass shooting - putting a candy bar on a Minion’s head because he’s never interacted with a child before -  when he interpreted some stray comment about transparency in the process to mean his border wall should literally be transparent, so passersby are not beaned by bundles of drugs and cans being thrown over the wall - the time he talked about having to flush his massive dumps 10 times and then immediately tried to blame the dumps on his supporters - the fake Sharpee’d hurricane map, which he did solely to not appear wrong on television - suggesting that federal employees working unpaid during the gov shutdown should just “do a work around” at the grocery store if they can’t pay for groceries - the fucking eclipse thing - the fucking three-pointers with paper towels to Puerto Rican hurricane victims - when he told thousands of Boy Scouts a story about his rich friend's fuckboat and then complained about Hilary for the remainder of the speech - when the called the CEO of Lockheed Martin “Marilyn Lockheed” (her last name is Hewson) which was objectively funnier than “Tim Apple” - when he picked an argument with Baltic world leaders because he thought the Baltics were the Balkans - the first time his team had a meeting in the cabinet room they couldn’t figure out how to turn on the lights and ended up just having the meeting in the dark -  The time he said Andrew Jackson was "really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War, he said 'There's no reason for this.'" (Jackson died 16 years before the Civil War, and he owned 150 slaves.) - told a 7-year-old boy there was no Santa Claus on Christmas - the team of staffers whose only job was to tape back together documents he had torn up because he’s just THAT used to destroying evidence, because they couldn’t get him to stop ripping them up, but legally, the documents had to be archived - when he said the Continental Army took over the British airports during the Revolution - no sanctions on Russian soldiers killing American soldiers - “I take no responsibility for this pandemic.” - when touring the damage the Louisiana gulf coast after Hurricane Laura (just a few months ago!), he started giving first responders autographed pieces of paper, which he told them to sell on eBay for $10,000 - when he thought "clean coal" meant that the miners dug it out of the ground and physically cleaned it - the goddamn fast food catering - trying to trick the family of a teen killed by a US diplomat's wife who fled justice into meeting her, Ellen-style - pushing the Prime Minister of Montenegro out of the way to preen - that time he called into Fox & Friends and ranted for so long that they politely but firmly kicked him off - hiring an Obama impersonator solely to berate him - having a button installed on his desk that let him order Diet Coke on a whim. And sometimes using that button upwards of 13 times a day. - that time when a kid handed him a hat to sign, and he signed the hat, but instead of handing it back, he just threw it into the middle of the crowd - autographing the guestbook at the Holocaust memorial, with an added “had such a great time!” - when he zoned out and wondered where a woman's dead relatives were DIRECTLY after she had said her mother six brothers were killed. (Actual exchange: “They killed my mother, my six brothers...” “Where are they now?”) - sending 2,000 soldiers to the border to stop “the caravan,” having their pictures taken, and then recalling them all. - consoling a dead soldier’s family by saying “he knew what he was getting into.” - when he said no one could climb over the border wall because there would be no way down, and then belatedly remembered rope - when he congratulated the Great Lakes on their "record deepness" - calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas” at an event meant to honor Navajo code talkers  - “Shithole countries” - calling Baltimore “rat-infested” - tweeting “too bad!” right after Elijah Cummings’ house was broken into - calling the White House “a dump” a month into moving in, which led to first both him and Melania, and then just Melania by herself, staying in Trump Tower for almost 5 months, costing taxpayers around $100,000 a day - an entire quarter of his presidency spent on his own golf courses, costing taxpayers around $141,000,000, NOT counting the Secret Service detail (they were charged for rooms and golf carts, since these were Trump’s OWN golf courses) - using “Pocahontas” again to slur Elizabeth Warren while talking down to a Native American journalist - holding a rally in Pittsburgh and trying to woo the locals by ranting about how the statue of Joe Paterno, the accused pedophilia enabler who was coach of a rival sports team, should go back up - confusingly having bigger salt and pepper shakers than everyone else in his administration, because everything to him is a dick-measuring contest - when he said he would “run in and take care of” school shooters, to school shooting victims - appointing fucking DeVos, Miller, Pompeo, Mnuchin, Nunes - inciting a seditious white supremacist mob to make sure he’s president until he’s 85, resulting in 5 dead (for which I am constantly wondering...”really? FOR THIS GUY?”) - drafted a proposal to open 94% of previously protected American shorelines to offshore drilling - when he walked up the stairs to Air Force One with toilet paper stuck to his shoe -  at least 44 times in March, April and early May in which he downplayed the threat of the virus calling it “very well under control” again and again - when somebody asked him his favorite book and he pointed at a bookshelf and said “there are some over there” - meeting with the goddamn MyPillow guy to discuss overturning election results and declaring martial law - impeached twice, was golfing both times the vote went through - 70 pardons for known criminals (including Bannon), 70 sentences commuted, just to be a spiteful little toad - when he blathered on about how much he loved the queen, the totally hacked her off - when Hope Hicks steamed his pants as he was wearing them - getting mad-pissed at White House kitchen staff because they couldn’t recreate McDonald’s and it was too late to order  and I wonder how much I missed. I bet there’s a McSweeney’s article listing all of it.

[iamthinkinglegos]

It’s ya boy: Kilroy.

Photo credit: Luis Rubio from Alexandria, VA, USA - Kilroy was here, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3558598 

As you can see, Kilroy has visited the World War II memorial in Washington D.C. This iconic drawing answers many questions about itself. Who made this? Kilroy did. Why did he make this? To leave a record of where he was. Where has this fella been? More like, where hasn’t he been? Have you seen the places this graffiti shows up?

But there remain two questions that are not answered by the typical depiction of Kilroy: where did he come from, and where did he go and what was his rhetorical function? Well, I may be the only one asking that latter one, but I digress.

Kilroy: Origins

Kilroy, as we understand him today, came about during the second world war. His exact origins are unknown, but he has an intellectual lineage that can be traced back to 1938 or 1941, depending on which origin story you like more. 

The first of his intellectual progenitors is known as Mr. Chad, or just Chad. Chad is a figure whose origins are as shrouded as Kilroy’s. Just like Kilroy, he is a bald (or mostly bald) man peeking over a wall with an abnormally long nose. 

Mr. Chad with a version of his catchphrase and a single hair. [source]

There are two prevalent theories on how Chad came into being. The first of them involves a British cartoonist named George Edward Chatterton. Supposedly, Chatterton drew the original back in 1938, and his nickname “Chat” went on to become the name of the drawing “Chad”. [source]

Another story claims that Chad was spawned around the year of 1941 by a lecturer in a school in  Gainsborough, Lincolnshire. While illustrating the affect of a capacitor in a circuit, the phrase “wot, no electrons” was added to a portion of the drawing that resembled a face. 

[source]

There are other variations on that story, featuring electricians and/or military engineers adding “wot, no ___?” to illustrations like the one above. Unfortunately, none of these stories (at least in my mind) really explains why Chad became used widely amongst the military, especially when one considers that shortages and rationing (the things Chad typically complained about) would have affected civilians approximately as much as it did the military.

Regardless of where it came from, this simple design would go on to become Kilroy’s body. The accompanying phrase, however, is even more difficult to pin down. This is due mostly to the fact that “___ was here” is an extremely generic phrase to find graffitied. . . well anywhere really. Fortunately, there is a probable origin of the phrase! In December of 1946, the New York Times attempted to get to the bottom of the phrase’s origin. After holding an event to determine who came up with Kilroy, they landed on James J. Kilroy, a welding inspector who worked in the Bethlehem Steel shipyard in Quincy, Massachusetts. Welding inspectors used a small chalk mark to approve a piece of work.  But, that was easily erased by welders so they might be paid twice for their work. Purportedly, Mr. Kilroy decided to mark his inspections with the phrase “Kilroy was here” with a material that was more difficult to erase. This lead to the phrase being discovered in sealed spaces on ships, the kind of spaces that no one had been before. That lead to a competition among US airmen to reach obscure and otherwise out-of-the-way locations before Kilroy could. [source] 

Another theory involves a Sergeant Francis J. Kilroy Jr. In this story, Sgt. Francis wrote “Kilroy will be here next week” on a barracks builtin board, to inform his fellows of his imminent return after a run in with the flu. This prompted the phrase to be picked up and spread by other US airmen. [source] 

The common nature of the phrase “Kilroy was here” combined with the easily recreated drawing known as “Mr. Chad” and gave birth to a graffiti phenomenon that lasted for decades.  

Now before I move on I want to give an honorable mention to Australia’s “Foo was here”. Foo was a graffiti character in much the same vein as Chad and Kilroy. He was also a head that tended to peek over walls, though his nose was of a much more reasonable size. Foo was accompanied by the phrase “Foo was here”. Unlike Kilroy and Chad, Foo dates all the way back to the first world war, and was a creation that followed the First Australian Imperial Force. Foo evolved over the years and by the time WWII came around he was depicted as a gremlin or a devil often within (or having escaped from) a cage. It is also worth noting that unlike the previous stories, there is nothing that can directly tie Foo to Kilroy or Chad. [source]

Kilroy: Functions

Kilroy had many functions over the years. He let military servicemen know where their comrades had been before. Hiding his visage in the most obscure of locations must have been a humorous pastime for some people. But the function of Kilroy that I wish to discuss is his use as a panopticon. 

First things first though. What the hell is a panopticon? Without getting too far into it, the concept of a panopticon is this: an object, person, or event that instills in its viewer a sense of being watched, typically in such a way that they mediate or otherwise alter their own actions. A simple example would be a teacher when their students are taking a test. The mere presence of a teacher may be enough to prevent people from attempting to cheat. The implication of authority is also important to panopticons, if you know your best friend is watching you, you likely wouldn’t alter your behavior too much, if at all; if you know a police officer is watching you, you may be less inclined to smoke weed, go over the speed limit, or even jaywalk. If you wish to go a bit more in depth on panopticons you may do so here.

Allow me to start this part by saying that not every Kilroy is a panopticon. Even the ones that are, aren’t to every viewer. Simply put, the groups that spread Kilroy’s image need never worry that the he is watching them. To a certain extent, anyone who draws Kilroy is Kilroy. And since the people who drew him are English speaking (mostly US) military servicemen, and the citizenry they serve, anyone outside of those groups observing Kilroy may see the watchful eyes of the US staring at them. 

To share an example of dubious authenticity, picture yourself in the year of 1945. Germany has surrendered and you and the Allied leaders, Churchill and Truman, are going to decide the fate of Germany (after the Krauts started and lost their second world war).  As you may have already guessed, you are Stalin: the leader of the Russian people and a ruthless dictator. You have arrived in Potsdam, and are ready to discuss terms with your allies. Upon arriving, you are given a brief tour of the facilities from which you will negotiate. Your guide finally arrives at the grand VIP bathroom, an opulent room befitting one of your status. The guide encourages you to go in without him, for even he is not allowed inside. You take a moment to relieve yourself; the journey here was a long one. You return to the guide and complete the tour. Hours pass. You have completed the first round of talks with your allies, and all the water you drank to sooth your parched throat has come back to haunt you. You return to the bathroom you visited previously in the day, and use the exact same toilet you used last time. As the tight squeeze on your bladder lifts, you notice something that wasn’t there before. A small man with a large nose is peeking at you from over a wall, with the English phrase “Kilroy was here” written next to him. Your knowledge of the English language is limited, but you know enough to say with certainty that an English speaking individual named Kilroy had been in your VIP bathroom. Fury clouds your mind as you somehow manage to keep everything in the toilet bowl. If Kilroy had been here, where only you and the two other VIPs were allowed, where else could this man have been? What else could he have seen? As you leave the bathroom, you use the time spent washing your hands to calm your mind. Perhaps this was someone your aides know about. You return to the conference room, where the translator for the English speakers still resides. Your presence brings your aides to full attention, and you ask them (in Russian) “Who is Kilroy?”. [source, take it with a grain of salt] [also, here is a source that says Stalin had a decent grasp on the English language]

That dramatization of events that may or may not have happened illustrates Kilroy’s use as a panopticon. Once Stalin got context on who Kilroy was, he may have concluded that his actions at Potsdam had more spectators than he anticipated. Which may have then lead him to acting differently than he would have otherwise. Even if it didn’t happen, the fact that it is a story that was told speaks to how others could see his use as a panopticon. 

Another story that is even less likely to be true is one involving Hitler. Allegedly German soldiers had found the phrase “Kilroy was here” written on captured US equipment. Hitler, in his infinite paranoia, decided that it could be the name of an American spy. [”source”] 

Whether or not either of these stories are true they illustrate how Kilroy is capable of operating as a panopticon. 

In conclusion:

We came into this asking hard questions, that kind that couldn’t be answered just by looking at the average depiction of Kilroy. We learned that this iconic piece of American history (probably) came from distinctive British Graffiti, and an American welding inspector. We then briefly considered Foo, before promptly forgetting about him. We finished with Kilroy being more than just a humorous piece of graffiti, and instead saw him act as the eyes of authority: a panopticon. This simple drawing went on to become more than the sum of his parts, and has been immortalized not just on the WWII memorial in Washington D.C., but also in the hearts and souls of all those who carry on his legacy. 

[iknaq]

When the Ball Drops

(WinterShieldShock short - Follow up to the Christmas short May Your Days Be Merry and Bright. In which our favourite super soldiers are really dense and Darcy is in denial.)

‘We still have what little bit is left of the Asguardian wine, we might as well enjoy it. Do you want us to see if T’Challa has any bubbly, Darce?’

‘No, no...my stomach still doesn’t feel g...’

‘Oh, Darcy...’

Steve chased after her and Bucky sighed sadly, grabbing the napkin off the table and starting to wipe up the mess, glancing up when Nat came in an eyebrow arched.

‘Everything okay?’

‘Darcy is still not feeling so hot...it’s okay I got it...no...okay. Thank you.’

Bucky sighed and relinquished the napkin as one of the housekeepers came in and made a fuss, heading to one of the washrooms to clean up, surprised when he came out and Natalia was still there. Rolling his eyes when she immediately started with the rapid-fire Russian.

‘She should have been better by now. Have the doctors come to see her?’

‘No, she refuses, says she’ll be fine in a few days.’

‘Does that look FINE?’

‘No, but...’

‘No, but. Idiots. I will take her.’

‘Natalia!’

Bucky sighed and chased after her as she ran, catching up just in time to see Steve get kicked out of the bathroom.

‘What the HELL, Romanoff!’

‘Stevie...let her do this, she’s worried.’

He was worried too and he hoped that Natalia would succeed where they had failed and convince Darcy to see one of the doctors. When he woke after the doctors had removed his triggers, Natalia had been the one to stay with him those first few days, chasing the other team members off until she was sure he was okay. The team seemed surprised but The Winter Soldier side of him was not, vague memories of his Natalia watching out for the little widows...until they beat that out of her. And memories of watching her watch out for the team as he monitored them before confronting Fury. The execution was sometimes unexpected but there was nothing to do but stand back and accept it when the Black Widow went mother hen.

-

‘Solnyshko, this is more than just a stomach bug. Have you thought about maybe...’

‘No. No, don’t say it.’

Natasha popped her head out of the bathroom and made sure the pair and their enhanced hearing were not in immediate earshot before ducking back in, sitting on the counter while Darcy pressed her forehead to the cool stone tiles of the floor. She knew what Tash was going to say and she’d been worrying about that, as well but she totally couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud yet.

‘Maybe. Okay, but I can’t...they’ll flip out if it is true. I’ll be living in some remote hole in the fucking ground, never to see the light of day and have to live in protective custody for the rest of my life. I mean, it’s bad enough when I’m with Janey if any asshole found out I’d be getting kidnapped every other weekend.’

‘I will watch out for you and we’re safe here for the time being. You need to make sure, if it is true then you need to be under the care of a doctor. At the very least, you need to see one right now and get some fluids in you.’

Darcy was about to argue but she couldn’t stop the gagging and was soon slumped over the toilet bowl once again. She was loathe to admit it but Tash was right, maybe it was time.

‘At the very least, can you ask Wanda? She and Sam are on their way back from the school with Ororo. One or the other but we are doing something.’

‘FINE. Ugh. Can you get my toothbrush or a fucking mint or something.’

‘Language. No need to be snippy. Come on, little sister.’

She tried, she really did but she found herself slumping into Natasha as her crazy spy sister-from-another-mister helped her make her way to the bedroom. The scowl Nat gave Steve and Bucky had them retreating to another part of the palace. They were about to ask for one of T’Challa’s doctors when Wanda came rushing in.

‘Darcy, something is wrong, I could feel your worry from the quinjet.’

‘Yeah, I just...’

They all jumped when Wanda reached out to her and a little charge jumped between their fingers, making them both back away from the shock.

‘What. The. Hell.’

‘Darcy...maybe we should see if Miss Shuri is available...’

‘Um. Yeah, okay...sure. Let’s do this.’

-

Steve scowled and backed Natasha up against the wall when she entered the library, softening slightly when he felt Bucky grab his arm.

‘You better start talking, Romanoff.’

‘Darcy would like to see you both. She’s resting in bed and she said she would like it if we would all join her in your suite so she can celebrate New Years with us.’

He didn’t wait for Nat to finish before he was rushing back to their bedroom with Bucky on his heels. Darcy looked so tiny and pale on the giant bed, curled up with Wanda lying on one side and the Princess Shuri and Queen Ororo sitting on the other side of the bed. His heart pounded painfully when he saw the IV hooked up to her arm.

‘Darce...’

‘Hey...I’m okay, really. Just needed some fluids. It’s almost time, I’m sorry I’m not feeling well.’

He didn’t notice when the ladies disappeared quietly, giving them a moment. Dragging one of the chairs over and taking one of her hands, placing on soft kiss on the knuckles as Bucky crawled on the bed, taking the spot Wanda had occupied. Smiling faintly at Buck as Bucky nuzzled at Darcy and mumbled to her.

‘Worried about you, doll.’

‘I’m okay, I’m going to be fine. I feel a bit better already now that they hooked me up and they’re going to check on me in the morning.’

‘Next time maybe not be so stubborn...’

‘Me, so stubborn? Ha, Mr-Star-Spangled-Pain-In-My-Ass, you would know all about being stubborn.’

Steve couldn’t stop the chuckle, leaning in and kissing her softly. The doctor came back in, removing the IV once the bag was empty and little by little the others filtered in with a brief appearance from their Majesties before they went to join their family for the countdown.

He was surprised when the drawer started ringing, pulling the phone out and answering it after Bucky and Darcy urged him on.

‘Cap.’

‘Tony. Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah. No. I mean everything is fine. I just. I know it was for emergencies or whatever but...I’m not very good at all this touchy-feely stuff.’

‘...Happy New Year Tony.’

‘Happy New Year Steve. Maybe, maybe things might be better in the new year. I’ve been irritating Ross and I think he might be coming around and Pepper got me seeing the head doc again and I just wanted to...I just wanted to say Happy New Year.’

He blinked at the phone when the line went dead, smiling at the inquisitive looks on the others faces.

‘Tony says Happy New Year.’

His heart felt a bit lighter after that and everyone joined in the countdown as the time ticked away, pressing a kiss on Darcy then Bucky when the clock struck midnight.

‘Happy New Year, I love you guys.’

-

Wanda stayed put as Darcy kept a death grip on her hand and Natasha hovered, Shuri and Ororo and the doctors discussing the next steps. She did what she could to calm her sister, chuckling softly when Steven and James were allowed to enter, looking at their nervous faces. They were about to get one hell of a surprise but it wasn’t the one they were thinking of.

‘Hey, guys, want to come take a seat?’

Steven immediately sat down but James paced nervously, she was about to slip away but Darcy never let go, so she settled herself back on the bed. She wrapped an arm around Darcy’s waist and cuddled against her back until the shivering subsided and Darcy was able to take a few deep breaths and speak.

‘So...um. I guess interesting things happen when there is cosmic radiation and a God of Thunder and a uhhh...latent X-gene that comes in to play.’

‘Darcy, are you saying...’

Wanda watched as Darcy raised her hand and made the sparks zap between her fingers like they’d practised that morning. James’ jaw dropping and Steven frowning before he spoke again.

‘But...you’re okay, right? Nothing bad?’

‘Well, I mean this is going to take some getting used to and there’s...’

‘Oh, thank god. We worried you were ill or something horrible and...how did this happen, why so late for you?’

‘Well, the scientists think the radiation from Janey’s work and stuff might have a little bit to do with it but it is more likely the hormonal changes and stuff are the reason why...’

‘Is the radiation harmful, do we need to worry about you working with Jane? Is Jane okay?’

‘Janey is fine, the fact that I apparently have the X-Gene was a part of it and that’s...’

‘But what...’

‘Steven! I’m pregnant!’

Wanda used her powers to catch James before he hit the floor and Steven sat there in a state of shock until Natasha was able to wake James. Now it was Steven’s turn to be nervous and James spoke softly.

‘...Doll...did I hear what I thought I heard?’

‘I’m pregnant. They think the hormonal changes from the pregnancy triggered my mutation. The doctors here are the best and they’re going to be watching over us the whole time and Ororo and Wanda are going to help with my powers. I’m gonna have to have some words with Thor next time he’s here though. I think hanging out with him and Myuh-Myuh might have something to do with my crazy electrical powers. But I’m fine, the babies are fine, Wanda says everything looks good to her and the doctors said everything was okay except for the morning sickness so I need to stay hydrated and they have medicine if it doesn’t let up.’

‘...Babies. Plural?’

This time Wanda couldn’t help but laugh at the soft squeak that came from the scary big bad Winter Soldier. Holding her fingers up and looking at the men.

‘Babies. Two. One from each of you.’

‘How...how do you know?’

‘I felt them. I saw them. I can show you if you want...’

They spent the morning with Wanda using her powers to help them visualise the tiny ones growing in Darcy before she slipped out, leaving the three to bond over the news. There would be more time with her sister later, especially once she told them her news.

Sarah and Rebecca, good names for the little girls, they liked their names to be. Wanda pressing a hand to her still flat stomach, looking down. She just hoped they got along with her Billy and Tommy when the time came.