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pirateswhore · 1 year

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Her White Wolf

With Rumple gone, Belle is left to pick up the pieces on her own. Could a certain wolf help mend her heart? Mid season 4 AU (aka giving Belle the brain cells she needs and resolving my first queer disappointment on the show).

thank you @xarandomdreamx for being a lovely beta !

for - @caliburn-the-sword

Prologue and Chapter 1 published on Ao3:

Prologue - In the Aftermath.

It hurt like nothing had hurt before. Finding the gauntlet that she thought he had traded for her years ago. Using it, foolishly thinking it would simply point towards her, only to be led to the dagger. The dagger? Didn’t he give her the dagger? She picked it up and felt its heavy weightin her hand and an intense pull, nothing like she had ever felt before with the dagger she was given. A fake. Obviously. He lied to her, like he had so, so many times.

The next few minutes now feel like a blur. Appearing before him, seeing him holding Hook’s heart in his hand, squeezing it. Commanding him to take them to the town edge. Forcing him over it. His cowardly cries and pleas for forgiveness. And then he was gone, and she dropped on her knees and buried her face in her hands so she didn’t have to see him scramble away like a pathetic, injured dog.

The next thing she remembers is a hand and hook on each shoulder, urging her to stand up, leading her to the back seat of a yellow bug. She couldn’t quite remember or care for what they told her, spending the entire car ride back to her house staring out the window. They helped her out of the car, led her to her front door, told her something about reaching out if she needed help, and squeezed her shoulder in support. And then she walked into the flat, took her coat off and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over her, hoping it was all an awful, awful dream that she would soon be waking up from.

“Hey, Belle.”

She lifted her head from the coffee cup in front of her to see Hook standing next to her table.

“Mind some morning company, love?”

She sniffled and nodded and he scooted into the chair opposite of hers. He ordered a coffee himself and they sat in silence for a while, her gaze dropping back down to the table.

“Thank you. For saving my life,” he spoke quietly, treading carefully through the conversation, “I wouldn't be here if you had not intervened the other day.” Days? Has it been that long? This was the first time she’d left the flat since… the incident, having spent all her time sobbing in bed. She looked up at him, meeting his gaze - gratitude, pain, remorse. He strained a little smile and tilted his head down slightly. She returned the smile and straightened her back, sniffling back a sob.

“Of course. The least I could do.” He reached out his hand to meet hers.

“I’m not sure how much of this you heard when Emma and I took you home, but just know that we are here for you, whatever you need, okay? You have both our talking phone numbers, we’re just a call away,” he squeezed her hand and she was barely holding back tears. How was he still so kind to her after all the crap her husband had done to him? When she was too blind to see through his lies and do anything to stop him for such a long time. She didn’t deserve any thanks from him, or anyone. She could have stopped all this so long ago. All she could do now was squeeze his hand back and nod.

They drank their coffee in silence, commenting about their day and plans every so often. She confessed her remorse over not stopping Rumple sooner and Killian stated how guilty he felt over doing his bidding, at which Belle shot him a smile.

“I'm sure we could find a way to release the faeries.”

“You think?”

“Sure! We have everything originally used to trap them, the hat, the dagger-”

“Me,” he chuckled. She rolled her eyes and continued.

“I'm certain Rumple has some books on it. Or maybe Regina does. We could set up a base camp in the library, it’s not like either one of us has anything better to do, and it could help us relieve some guilt.”

His smile dropped a little. “You’d be okay with working close to me?”

“Of course I would! Why shouldn't I?”

“I… I tried to kill you. I shot you.”

Her shoulders relaxed and she placed both hands over his. “Killian… I don’t hold that against you. You’ve changed since then. I’ve forgiven you.”

He smiled, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. They ordered breakfast and talked about the details of researching the hat and its magic and she actually managed to forget the pain her ex husband had caused her and others. Maybe she could make up for not seeing through his charade sooner. After they finished their food, they ran down to the sheriff's station and told Emma about their plan, who seemed proud and enthusiastic, and Regina, who seemed dismissive but still offered them help if they needed it. She still had keys to Rumple’s shop, so she asked Killian and Emma to take out any books they may find useful - she couldn't bring herself to go in there. Within the hour they were walking past Granny's again, stopping to pick up a to-go order for the lunch she had placed before they left.

She walked into the diner, seeing as Killian was trying to balance a stack of books with his hand and hook and couldn't carry anything else. Granny waved her down and said her order would be bagged in a minute, so Belle took a seat by the bar. She could hear people talking behind her, throwing a few glances her way before whispering amongst each other.

I heard she pushed him over the town line herself. Yea she finally came to her senses about him. Wonder if the pawn shop is still open? I feel sorry for her, he manipulated her.

The pity in their voices sounded almost derogative to her. She should have been smarter, seen through his lies way sooner, left him before he could hurt her and others the way he did. But she didn't. She gave him chance after chance only to be met with deceit and disappointment. She was stupid. She knows that now. She pushed the thoughts back, trying her best not to focus on them. Just pick up the order and go, Belle. Five minutes.

"Order for Gold?" A voice called out. She winced and made a mental note of annulling the marriage as soon as possible and getting back to her maiden name.

She looked up and her mouth dropped open a little. Ruby. She hadn't seen her since they all came back from the Enchanted Forest (granted, she was busy) and couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.

"Oh- sorry, is it still Gold?" The woman handed her two paper bags.

"Yea… I need to go down to the mayor's office to revert it to my maiden name. It's good to see you again Ruby."

"Yeah, it's good to be back."

"You left?"

"For a little bit, I was feeling restless and hoping to find someplace I belong. That didn't really pan out so I'm back here. Plus Granny needs my help with the diner."

"Maybe we could catch up sometime soon."

"I'd like that."

They exchanged smiles and see-you's and Belle walked out of the diner and headed to the library with Killian. Moving on and picking up the pieces was going to be hard, but perhaps she didn't have to do it on her own.

________________________________________

Chapter I - Moving On

Ruby's return to Storybrooke brought with it mixed emotions. She didn't feel like she was part of the town, or fully accepted by the townsfolk. But there was nothing for her in the Enchanted Forest and here she at least had her grandma. Even if it meant working in the diner all her life, it was better than nothing.

Today, she was on delivery duty. Which meant driving around town in Granny's run-down delivery van all day, trying her best to not get the orders mixed up. She got back into the car and looked at the next delivery's notes: B. French, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 1 large fry serving, 1 medium onion ring serving, 2 sodas. Deliver to Town Library at 12:30pm

Belle.

The brunette had made herself a regular at the diner over the last week, stopping for coffee and a bagel every morning. Talking to her made the otherwise insufferable morning shift actually pleasant for Ruby, even if for just a few short minutes. Belle usually had her order to-go, saying that Killian was waiting for her at the library.

"What are you two up to in there anyways? Killian often doesn't come back to his room until after dinner time." Ruby had asked her once. The question made Belle stir in her seat for a moment.

"We're uh... We're trying to undo some of what Rumple had done. Starting with getting the faeries out of the hat."

"Oh! That's so sweet of you. Any progress?" Belle's face sank at that and she shook her head slightly. "Ah... well I'm sure you two will figure something out. You're smart."

If she didn't know any better, Ruby could've sworn she saw the blood rush to the other woman's cheeks as she mewled a small "thank you".

She rounded the corner and parked the van near the library. Ruby knew from the order that Killian was probably there as well, but a part of her hoped it would be just Belle. She couldn't pin down exactly why she wanted that and she didn't want to think too much into it. She walked to the library and pushed the heavy door open, calling out that the delivery was here. There was no response and after stepping inside, Ruby was met with an empty reception desk and no sign of either Belle or Killian. There was a corkboard in one corner with photos and notes and red string pinned into it.

"Belle? Hook?" she called out again and waited for an answer, focusing her ears to any sound they would pick up. She both liked and despised her heightened senses. They were useful most of the time but she could do without overhearing certain conversations and comments, especially the ones pertaining to her. Some people still feared her, feared she would turn into a wolf and ravage the diner's clientele at random.

She's been getting better at controlling it, or at least subduing it. She cut off a trim of her cloak and wore it on her at all times, in her hair, around her neck, or tucked into a pocket. It helped prevent any emotional outburst from triggering a transformation. She still hated the full moon however; being turned against her will and having to hide herself away all day, trying to contain the beast. Before the Moon rose into the sky at night, she was snappy, aggressive, every little inconvenience made her blood boil. The new moon, in turn, left her weak and lethargic and all she wanted to do was sleep. It had its ups and downs but she was doing her best at managing it.

Her ears picked up on the faintest of sobs and her head turned towards the back of the library. She left the order at the reception desk and made her way into the library, through the shelves and towards a back room. The sobs got louder and standing in front of the door with a ‘Employees Only sign, she could hear them clear as day.

"Belle..." she could tell it was her, the sweet perfume she wore lingering in the air. It hurt Ruby to hear her cry, and not just because it was so loud for her - Belle crying was not something Ruby ever wanted to see. "Belle?" she called out a little louder, tapping on the door. The sobs and whimpers stopped and the inside lock released, creaking the door open just a smidge. Ruby pushed it open wider and saw Belle hunkered down on the floor, sitting on a book stack with a tissue in hand. "Hey," she whispered out weakly, straightening her back but not looking up at the woman standing in the doorway.

Ruby crouched down, running her hand up and down the woman's shoulder, hoping to soother her. "I came in with your food and heard you crying, is everything okay?" Her eyes wandered to a book lying on the ground (it was unlike Belle to drop books, she treated them like sacred items). It was a Disney book, based on this world's version of "Beauty and the Beast" movie, featuring art and scenes from it. Ruby glanced back at Belle and urged her with a small smile.

"I found the book while sorting something," she started, "and it just... it hurts. That's how we were supposed to go, he was supposed to change and be a better man because of love. But I wasn't enough for him, no matter what I did."

"Oh Belle." Ruby moved closer and sat down next to Belle, putting an arm around her. "Some stories are just that - stories. And some stories have different versions, in yours it simply didn't work out." That caused another sob to escape Belle's chest and Ruby's clenched at the sound. "I'm so sorry he hurt you, but you can't put all the blame on yourself. When we love someone, we do our best to look past their flaws and see the best in them."

"Even if there isn't any good?"

"Belle, you have the wonderful tendency to see the good in anyone. Please don't let what Rumple did discourage you from it."

"What if I'm wrong about them again?"

"You weren't wrong about me, were you?" That seemingly calmed Belle's crying so Ruby went on. "When the entire town was dead set on hunting me down, you stayed by me. I'll never forget that.

Belle went silent for a while as Ruby continued to rub her shoulder. She hadn't noticed how close to one another they were, how their thighs pressed together or how good Ruby smelled until now. She also didn't realise that, with the way her head was hung, she was staring directly down the she-wolf's cleavage. Blood rushed to her cheeks but she made no attempt to move away, choosing instead to just lift her head to meet Ruby's eyes. She smiled down at her but concern was still painted on her face.

Belle had always been fond of her. She hadn't forgotten that Ruby had helped her in the past, and she was forever grateful for it. Ruby was fun, outgoing, openly flirtatious and spontaneous at times - all the things Belle had trouble expressing. She'd spent too long suppressing who she was and what she wanted in favour of coaxing Rumple to the side of good, hoping to calm the beast down long enough for the man to come out, thinking that, if she appeared more appealing than magic, he would give it up for her. Some good that had brought her.

"You good?" she finally asked, cocking her head to the side slightly. It reminded Belle of those videos of dogs, tilting their heads when intrigued by something. It made sense, she figured, considering Ruby was part wolf.

"I just don't know where to go from here," Belle confessed, "I spent so long doing everything I could to make myself good enough for Rumple. And now that he's gone? I have no idea what to do with myself."

Ruby's smile widened at that and she stood up. "There's time for you to figure that out. You won't have to do it on your own, you have friends to help you through it." She extended a hand and helped Belle up.

"Emma and Killian have been very supportive. It feels like they're the only two people in town who don't pity or resent me over Rumple."

"Wrong," Ruby stated. "There’s at least three people who feel that way."

"You?"

"Of course, silly. You're dear to me, would I have helped you if that wasn't the case?" Belle opened her mouth to say something, but simply nodded in agreement.

Ruby wasn't lying, but she wasn't being completely honest either - Belle was dear to her, but it went deeper than just friendly affection. If she had to put a name to it, it would probably be 'crush', although that felt too inane. From the moment she met her, she felt a pull towards Belle, a primal desire to help and protect her igniting deep inside her. Something about her made Ruby's heart dance; the way her face lit up when she was excited, how her eyes sparkled with an ever present hope she had for people, her undying loyalty to loved ones and her inability to give up on them. Ruby admired her for that but it hurt her too, seeing the physical embodiment of sunshine be rained on and pushed around time and time again. The love and support she had for others abused and mistreated.

It was exactly that love and devotion that had her running back to Rumple, believing all his lies and promises. Ruby respected that, she knew that Belle truly did love him (even if, in her mind, that love was misplaced and ill-appreciated) so she never made a move. However, now with Rumple gone and Belle left to once again, pick up the pieces, Ruby wished for nothing more than to be there for her. She knew she'd have to tread carefully so as to not come off as predatory, seeking to take advantage of Belle's heartbroken state.

Ruby smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Belle's ear. "I'm here for you, whatever you need. Just as I was before."

"Thank you, Ruby. And I for you, alright?"

The two smiled at each other and for a moment Ruby felt like leaning just a little bit closer, closing her eyes and just throwing caution to the wind (she wasn't a stranger to that), but the ring of Belle's phone whisked that daydream right away. She glanced down at it, pouting at the message.

"Killian says he got caught up sailing with Henry so he's running late, but he'll be here in a few minutes."

Fuck, Ruby had forgot all about her delivery duty. Granny was going to kill her.

They made their way to the front of the library, Belle checked to see if the orders were correct and handed Ruby the money for it."

"I should get back to delivering orders, but please, Belle, know that I'm here for you. Don't be a stranger, reach out whenever." She reached out and squeezed her hand, smiling at her. Belle smiled back and pulled her into a hug, squeezing tightly. Ruby's cheeks reddened, surprised at the sudden (but very welcomed) contact.

Walking back to the van, Ruby couldn't help but feel warmth radiating off of her entire body.

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