#Roxas is a certified Riku hater

[razorblade180]

Kairi:Roxas! Let’s have a good and honest sparring match.

Roxas:Have you beaten Axel in a fight?

Kairi:Yes.

Roxas:Saix?

Kairi:…

Roxas:I recommend clearing that hurdle next.

Kairi:Really?

Roxas:I love Axel but y’know…there’s higher bars. If you want an honest fight against me then I think you should work your way up to it.

Kairi:Now I’m curious about the others.

Roxas:After Saix then I guess Riku. He’s not that tough.

Kairi:That feels biased.

Roxas:I can count on my hand the amount of times he won a fight all by himself and it didn’t end with him nearly done for. He’s scrappy and clever but there’s scarier obstacles. It’s not like he can transform anymore either.

Kairi:Hmm…continue.

Roxas:Aqua, and then tackle Terra.

Kairi:You think Terra is more of a match than Master Aqua?

Roxas:I think he’s 6’1 and will leave bigger ramifications to anyone he lands a hit on. Like let’s be honest, Xehanort made a good choice when he picked the guy who can split the ground and summon meteors. Can we also talk about he’s faster than he looks which is stupid.

Kairi:You make a convincing argument. Honestly I probably have to be as nimble as Aqua to guarantee avoiding Terra.

Roxas:That’s a good way to look at it. After that…..pick your poison. I guess I’ll fight you.

Kairi:What?

Roxas:Well I want to go for Ven or maybe Xion, but the more I think about it, the more that feels like a dangerous accusation in regard to where I stand. Like…I learned I resemble Ventus and not the other way around and something about that warrants my personal concern.

Kairi:You beat Xion in a fight.

Roxas:Yeah but when she wants to fight, I actively sigh. I’m not pulling off consistent wins with confidence. I don’t even know if she can still transform. Knowing Vexen it’s possible! You know what? Fight me before them. I won’t surprise you with hidden powers.

Kairi:And then there’s Sora.

Roxas:Honestly against you I think he might be rock bottom.

Kairi:When we find him I’m telling him you said that.

Roxas:I’ll say it to his face. He knows I’m right. That’s the order I would go in if I were you.

Kairi:You never said the King.

Roxas:He obliterated thirteen darknesses. Hate to say it, but I don’t think one simply beats Mickey Mouse in a fight without consequences.