#Rosie is probably the only one who could get away with treating Alastor like that and I love that for them

[madanimalscientist]

Some Cute/Silly Alastor and Rosie Thoughts

Just a random thought in my head but:

the book Bambi came out in 1923 (1928 in English)

the Disney film version of it came out in 1942

If Rosie is a Hello Dolly pastiche then she probably died in the 1890s/1900s but on the other hand we don't know if Hell gets Earth pop culture

(There probably is a thriving bootleg scene where Hellborn who can go to Earth bring back vhs tapes/dvds etc to sell to Sinners who want to keep up)

But we also know Rosie appears to be keeping up with the times more or less and the mental image of her calling Alastor 'Bambi' as a term of endearment in an auntie kind of way is too cute to pass up. And she's probably the only person who could get away with it

Alternatively Angel could call Alastor that to piss him off, which I would also find amusing as hell

But I love the idea of Rosie basically acting to Alastor the way my aunties acted towards me/my cousins growing up. Like she could probably futz with his hair in public or be like 'hey you have a bit of schmutz on your face, just a sec' *pulls out handkerchief and wipes it off* and he would not be thrilled by her doing it in public but he'd also let her (while glaring daggers at anyone who was watching this like 'you better not say ANYTHING')

This mental image is partially inspired by the fact that in the webcomic Skin Deep by Kory Bing (https://www.skindeepcomic.com/, awesome webcomic srsly go check it out) there is a deer shapeshifter whose mum (also a deer shapeshifter) calls him Bambi as a nickname and I could see Rosie doing that to Alastor. The idea amuses the heck out of me.

In my head this is pretty much Rosie's theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oa-3KAXD-w and also Rosie would look stunning in that outfit (Alastor would also look dapper as fuck in a masc version of that jacket too honestly)

I just really love these two and their relationship and I want a whole comic/episode/etc about them as besties and how they met/etc. They're just too dang cute together.

[androgynousblackbox]

Welcome to Hazbin Vale. 3 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

"Good morning to all our dear listeners. Alastor is here to give you the warmest welcome to your favorite radio station. I know you all have great fun around here, I do too! It's nothing but laughter and joy on these parts.

But as part of this valuable medium that we all appreciate even today, on this age of fasting moving and gaudy technology, we must also remember to stay informed! The right kind of informed, where we seek to the truth of the matter without any biases or red tinted sunglasses.

In order to honor that, I bring you a bunch of exciting news. One of them is so important that I have it all on a little envelope with the words "Here. Happy now?" scribbled on top with… just about one of the most hideous handwriting I have ever seen.

I haven't looked at it's interior yet, but it's sitting right at my desk as we speak and I plan to share with all of you. That is the power of journalism in action, dear listener.

Before any of that, though, I would be remiss if I didn't relay to you something that our dear resident Rosie just told me when we were having our weekly breakfast together.

You all remember Rosie, don't you? The lovely, charismatic and oh so charming owner of the chocolate boutique not that far away from our station. It's a beautiful place, but it has always been dragged down by one small issue, one irritating factor that unfortunately ruined the perfect picture.

Unrelated to that, tonight the co-owner of the Chocolate Boutique has passed away. If you ever paid attention to the name on top of the establishment, then you will know who I am talking about. I never did so I don't. I think Rosie call them Claire, I want to say? That is probably close enough.

It was so gruesome too, isn't that funny? Whatever raccoon must have slipped inside of her house at night was truly having a creative mood because they spared no section to decorate it with the insides of Clara. Just not lungs anywhere. I guess that one must have been too tempting to let it go to waste. I can't say that I blame them, good lungs are hard to come by, especially for women that age.

Such a tragedy, listener. Clarissa for years has been the business partner of Rosie. They started it out ten whole years ago, after Rosie was coming out from a particularly bad divorc that later turned out in a rather joyful funeral. Rosie was so focused in trying to get her things sorted out properly that she didn't realize that the term of their contract was giving Clarinette a portion of their earnings that was far bigger she would have liked. But there was nothing to do about it because Clady was the one with the connections, the one who knew the right people and the right numbers to supply for their wonderful treats.

Oh, if only Rosie had found the notebook that she had hiding under her pillow before. It could have save her so many headaches and frustrating nights! Oh, she will insist that they were the best of friends, but you don't do business with friends. You get screwed by them and they expect you to tolerate it with a smiling face. Which Rosie had to do, as the lady that she is, until that raccoon slipped in through the open window in library of the second floor.

Not that me or her would know anything about that though!

In any case, don't bother picking up all the pieces you find. There is no point for her. Claennis already made her bed, so it's only time for her to lay on it. A devastated Rosie informed me that she will be having a party service this afternoon in order to celebrate the life of her death friend, Clarine, and of course everyone is invited to come in. It will also be a sort of re-opening with a new sign outside that contains just her name.

Come enjoy a discount of the 5% on their macaroons, they are absolutely to die for. I recommend the strawberry ones, those are my favorites.

Oh, well. Farewell, Clarisse. We will manage to find the will to keep going with your absense, I am sure of it. Rosie is already taking care of everything you left behind.

She told me that last night when we were having dinner at my house. That was at 20:30, for anyone who cares, around the same time that ravenous raccoon was satisfying it's hunger. Sinking it's teeth on those meaty lungs. Rosie was just telling me how much she loved and respected her friend. Isn't that a espectacular lady, dear listener?

You all know I am not much for parties. I prefer a nice evening with a book and some jazz at my side if I get to choose. But I might make an exception for this one ocassion in order to support a friend. It could be fun! So if any of my dear listener goes, we might shake hands there.

Rosie, dear, if you are hearing, the best of lucks as always.

Meanwhile, I did promised you more than one news today. Here it is. Just let me get that enveloped. I am going to be honest, it's lighter than what I expected, but I am sure that doesn't mean that is any less interesting.

This source of mine is shy, he doesn't like the attention, so he has kindly ask me to keep his name away from crediting for these foundings. He also told me there is nothing too interesting here, but let us be the judges of that.

As many of you would know, on our last transmission I had very valid and justified concerns regarding the identity of our newest resident. In my humble opinion, anyone with two braincells capable of rubbing together would have them too. A rich inventor of toys coming to a small humble little town? Having a daughter? With that stupid perfect hair and that pretentious name? To revive an old and abandoned toy store nobody cared about?

All very suspicious behavior, indeed. I could almost have shivers running down my spine just thinking about it. What could be behind that white smile of his? Drugs? Trafficking? Dog fights?

Maybe trafficked drugged dogs? Oh, listener, I just couldn't dream of letting such a potential dangerous criminal running around in our precious little town. Causing power outages and unwanted static. Not on my watch, no, sir!

So I had someone do a little research. Just to be safe, of course, I would never use it for anything else. That is for the police to care about it. Although why they haven't take care of it now is a valid point of criticism that we aren't indulging in right now. Waste of tax money if I ever saw one.

Wait, shoot, I forgot my glasses. Oh, yes, they there are. Alrighty, let's see.

Name… still the same. Still that joke of a awful name. I guess that makes sense, considering people can just change it. Fine, I will allow it, but what else?

He is a inventor that made a pool able to detect if a kid is drowning and from there is that his fortune started.

Well! There you have it, first strike! What a spoilsport! If parents are not paying attention to their children while they are on the pool, maybe they don't deserve an alarm at all! And with such obviously neglectful parent, those poor children are clearly only going to suffer more in the future! This is doing nothing but prolongue the inevitable. How evil is that?

But wait! He used to have his own toy store back where he comes from. HA! THERE IT IS, I KNEW IT! What happened there, mmm? Did it mysteriously go up in flammes? Did the ensurance company was immediately called, one hand on the phone and the other on the gasoline tank? Was the business not going that hot so you had to turn it up?

It says here that he closed it himself after his wife died. Mmm? Did you now? What happened there, dear old pal? A mysterious disease no doctor could verify? A stabbing on a cold case no one could solve? Did you do it yourself or you paid someone to do it?

Of… pancreatic cancer.

Huh.

Curious. The same thing that took my mother.

God bless her heart, that was 12 years ago. Has it really been that long already? Yes, 12 years.

I still remember how quickly the disease consumed her like it happened just yesterday.

Well, that… is tragic. It says here that after his wife died, he locked himself up on his mansion… did you had to write mansion, couldn't you just say house, who puts mansion in a report… for five months. According to friends of the family, Lucifer just wanted to get out of there as fast as he could before he could do something that he would regret. Maybe getting back to making the toys they both loved would help, he would say to people.

So he picked this town because when pointing at it with eyes closed in a map. It was a complete coincidence that there was a toy store waiting for him at all.

His daughter is named Charlie, is 3 years old and she likes duckies. There is clipping of a picture in which she posed with her dad for an article about some invention of his. I haven't seen her myself yet, but I can see the resemblance. At least we know that we won't ever need a DNA test to prove their relationship.

She has the same big blue eyes. Poor thing.

There is nothing more about her here. I would hope so, with just 3 years on this earth. Not even I would have made a thick report at that age.

There is a picture of the man in front of his new house during moving day. There are surrounded by a bunch of workers moving furniture and boxes. He doesn't look so tiny holding his daughter and smiling to her.

His hair is still so stupid. It's a little messy, some strands are out of place, but still looks… stupidly, ridiculously perfect. I don't trust a man with a hair that can do that.

Not that damn static again. What even is that? Fine, fine! I will put it down now, okay? It's back on the envelope, along with all the completely useless bunch of information. Is it fine now?

Is it?

Good.

But wait, that can't be really it, does it? Just some guy with a tragic backstory? That is it?

Not even a speeding ticket? Some accidental manslaughter? I could even take stealing candy from a baby!

Nothing!

Well, that is no fun! That is just so boring! And here I thought, dear listener, that I was about to make a break through that would be the talk for months to come. But this is so mundane and pathetically sad that now I just feel gross. It's weird, it makes me wish I haven't opened it up at all.

I am so terribly sorry for making you waste your time like this, dear listener. Some gossip has never harmed a fly, but this was maybe a little bit much. I just don't understand why I feel like I want to vomit when seeing this guy. Is my gut wrong? That would be a first.

I guess that goes to show, dear listener: do not trust the media with everything and don't believe everything you hear. Stuff can be a lot more complicated than what they seem at a first glance. Like windows that are opened up at night during pleasant dinners with friends in another house. Or impossibly disgusting shiny hair that doesn't want to keep on place.

My source was the Chief Officer Husk, by the way.

Now, the weather…"

[correlance]

I also feel like the line "She's full of potential that I could guide..." also gives off Alastor getting excited about how much "potential" and power that Charlie has as the Princess of Hell. However, he calls her a "charming demon belle", and Rosie says "I like you, Charlie, you have moxie", meaning that Alastor also likes Charlie and her personality. Thus, Alastor already cares about Charlie for more than just using and manipulating her for power, and to further his own interests.

On another note, one major point against the "Alastor will eventually betray Charlie" theory and argument is that Alastor took Charlie to meet Rosie to begin with, and that Rosie really likes Charlie, and cares about her well-being. If Alastor had any intention of actually harming or hurting Charlie in the future, he wouldn't have taken her to meet Rosie, nor allow Charlie and Rosie to become friends. If Alastor hurt Charlie in any way, Rosie would hold him accountable for his actions.

Rosie is also Alastor's best friend and confidant in Hell, even more so than Mimzy, so Alastor taking Charlie to meet Rosie, and asking for Rosie's help to help defend Charlie and her hotel, was also likely a first for Alastor. This is why Rosie initially jokes that Charlie is "much too young" for Alastor, because Alastor has never brought anyone with him to introduce to Rosie, much less asked a large favor of Rosie on their behalf. Rosie immediately sensed that Charlie was special.

However, at the same time, Rosie knows Alastor well enough to know that Alastor's interest isn't romantic. Even if it was, she would probably roll her eyes and go, "Really, Alastor? The Princess of Hell? Lucifer's daughter? Don't you think she's a little out of your league?"

Alastor, after all, is just a lowly sinner, even if he is one of the Overlords of Hell. Charlie is so far above the Overlords in terms of power and status that she wouldn't even consider Alastor that way in canon, given how family photos already shows that higher Hellborn demons tend to segregate themselves on purpose from sinners in order to maintain the overall hierarchy - and power structure - of Hell. Alastor, who grew up in 1930s New Orleans as a mixed-race man born to white father and a Creole mother, would also certainly notice this.

We're also told that Stolas, a Prince of the Ars Goetia, dating Blitzø, a lowly imp who is on a power rung even lower than that of sinners, is seen as "scandalous". When Asmodeus, the literal Sin of Lust, exposes Stolas and Blitzø to the rest of Ozzie's in Helluva Boss, this causes a major rift between Stolas, who wants to pretend like everything is normal, and Blitzø, who feels Stolas is just using him for sex.

If anything, in canon, Alastor going after Charlie as a romantic interest in canon would not just be seen as deeply taboo - after all, this is a sinner we're talking about, who seems to be uncomfortably close with not only a Hellborn, but the Princess of Hell herself - but it would upset the balance of power in Hell. Even Lucifer seems to show disgust at the implication of Alastor possibly dating Charlie, likely in part because he knows that Charlie is too good for Alastor.

We also see a sharp contrast in how Lucifer treats Vaggie dating Charlie far better than he handles even the possibility of Alastor dating Charlie, because he knows that Alastor has ulterior motives.

That being said, one of the big differences between Stolas and Blitzø, as opposed to Alastor and Charlie, is that Stolas can get away with dating Blitzø more than Alastor would be able to get away with dating Charlie. This is also why Alastor keeps his relationship with Charlie ambiguous on purpose, even though he has no sexual or romantic interest in her in canon; not only does it "keep other people guessing", especially the other Overlords that Alastor is competing with for power (i.e. the Vees), but it also gives an air of plausible deniability to Alastor. Even Zestial, one of the oldest Overlords, was intrigued by the "rumors" of Alastor and his relationship with the Princess of Hell.

Valentino, another Overlord and a member of the Vees, the rivals of Alastor, also bemoans "Lucifer's little bitch", which indicates that Vox is likely keeping tabs on Alastor and Charlie due to their interactions.

However, also note how Valentino acted when he first met Charlie in-person. He takes her arm and licks it, making an offer to Charlie that if she, as the Princess of Hell, joins him and allies with the Vees, that he could make her "richer and more famous than her papi (Lucifer)".

Charlie, naturally, reacts with disgust ("fuck NO") at his sleaziness.

However, Charlie reacts far more favorably to Alastor specifically because he doesn't try to make a pass at her, unlike how Valentino does. While Charlastor will never be canon, imagine an alternate universe where Alastor did develop deeper feelings for the Princess of Hell, and how he would have to carefully tread the maze of power dynamics, especially when it comes to other Overlords and demons.

I can't help but think that Alastor, even though he manipulates Charlie, somehow genuinely believes that she is one of a kind, full of potential, and that he believes in her. Not to mention the fact that he seems to have just as much confidence in her, the proof is when he lends her his staff/mic and it is revealed the following episode that it is a great source of his power and that 'he's in trouble without him. It's quite fascinating the dynamic he has with her. He also seems, although criticizing her, to give her real useful advice. And then, this quirk of him being extremely tactile with her specifically. He touches her and lets her touch him, even though he doesn't seem at all to tolerate being touched without his consent and he himself doesn't usually touch people that often. (I'll always laugh about the spanking he gave Vaggie in the pilot) Yes, it's probably just as much a part of the manipulation technique, but there are times where he touched her in a completely unnecessary way and that pisses Charlie off more than anything else in episode 7. We also don't forget his confession about the fact that he seems to be getting used to the hotel. I really think that deep down Alastor was attached to this place and especially Charlie. I know the relationship is purely platonic, but that doesn't take away from the interesting and complex side of it. This is already much more than what Chaggie offers.

He is using all he can to manipulate her definitely, but, as he plays this game, he is falling down a hole and sees a side that makes him feel different about things. She is one of - if not the most powerful demons that is in Hell. He’s going to try to be on her side at all costs, but at the same time her care, patience, and the way she treats him is going to be what changes him a lot. And he is going to fight it…which we charlastor shippers are honestly going to enjoy!

[murderluv23]

Piano Demon Headcanons (1)

Rarely does anything aside from practicing piano. Is often found glued to his instrument and doesn't make eye contact when spoken to.

Very reclusive. Prefers to be left alone 99.9% of the time. He really enjoys quiet time with his music.

Really invested in musical theory. If someone were to start speaking to him about melody, rhythm, counterpoint, harmony, form, tonal systems, scales, tuning, intervals, consonance, dissonance, etc, he would listen very intently. He'd barely say a word as the person is speaking but take in every aspect of the conversation. It's the quickest way to get him to pay attention to you, as he usually doesn't enjoy talking to others.

If you're lucky and I mean really lucky, he'll become extremely talkative and start going off about how music can enrich everything in life if used correctly. He would offer his two cents on musical theory and start going deep on what works, what doesn't, how it can effect others' moods, etc. While you may be lucky to get him to talk like this, you won't be so lucky with getting him to stop once he's started. I hope you're just as passionate as he is because buckle up sugar, you're gonna be there awhile. Alastor has seen this side of him and finds it adorable. Honestly, it's in those moments where their bond really comes to the forefront. Many view their relationship as cold and distant due to The Piano Demon's personality. But behind closed doors and when The Piano Demon rarely opens up, Alastor and him couldn't be more in sync. Often cutting each other off or finishing the other's sentence when discussing music, having epiphanies at the same time that just escalates their passion. Every instance this occurs, Alastor falls even more in love with him. Granted, he's as stoic as ever, there's no changing that. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

Tea is his favorite thing to drink. He'll pretty much take whatever you give him but he prefers it to be hot.

Isn't a fan of alcohol. Could drink the hardest of liquor and be completely underwhelmed. He just dislikes the taste.

He is a lover of Jazz and Swing.

He adores chocolate truffles. He mentioned he liked them once very casually and Alastor showered him with them. He may not care for sweets himself but that doesn't mean he won't buy them for his Darling!

He very much enjoys spicy food. Do not ask to have a bite from his plate unless you want your jaw to melt off. He is willing to share but he is one of those people who eats the equivalant of the sun, looks you in the eye and says "This? This isn't even hot."

He knows how to cook. When Alastor can actually rip him away from the piano, they often cook together and sit with one another for dinner. It's a very good bonding experience for the both of them. Though again, it is a rare occurance. Getting that man away from the piano is nearly impossible.

He dislikes loud noises and loud people.

He's often told he chose the wrong spouse, then.

He dislikes any physical activity that is exhausting, especially dancing. 

He dislikes being touched. He is fine with Alastor hugging him or linking their arms together. He is also fine with others showing him affection if they ask for it and are close to him. Though touch is something he mostly can do without.

He severely dislikes Rap and Hiphop. He believes all music should be respected but if asked, he'll criticize it very harshly.

Social gatherings are his kryptonite. He'll omniously stand in a dark corner if he is forced to go to a party if he can't find a piano he can glue himself to.

He dislikes his Overlord status. When asked why, he'll simply answer that he loves music. It is believed that he does not concern himself with doing things out of ego and distants himself from the others.

He dislikes arrogance.

He dislikes sleeping. Evidenced by his constant practice and performances. 

"Dear, are you sure you're getting enough rest?"

"I occasionally close my eyes when I sneeze."

If he is not able to practice his music, he becomes agitated.

He does not like to be interrupted. If he is, he'll let the person finish but will be very annoyed afterwards.

He has a very positive relationship with Rosie. They share lunches together and chat on their off time.

Mimzy sometimes joins him for a walk or to think about the old days.

Though Charlie's enthusiastic nature is a bit much for him, they get along rather well. He likes her appreciation for music and will instruct her if she asks for tips.

Husk can actually sit down and talk to him. Most of it is just ranting and drunk grumbles but still a conversation. He can actually relax around The Piano Demon. He creeps Husk out a lot, with the mask and barely saying a word. But he doesn't piss him off which is refreshing. Husk would even says he likes the guy.

Mainly because he's very different from Alastor and other Overlords in a lot of ways. He will often scold Alastor if he tries to mess with him and treats him with respect. Alastor barely pushes his buttons when he's around. Husk is more likely to listen to him because of this. Not by much but it's something.

Niffty adores him. She'll often bounce around him while he walks or ride on his shoulders. The Piano Demon will sometimes read while she cleans to keep an eye on her. She loves the sound of his voice! If Niffty finds the time, she'll sit beside him as he practices and will listen quietly, kicking her feet.

Stolas is good friends with him. He will request his company at random times when he gets lonely. Stolas can get really flirty a lot of the time. Though he respects his boundaries. While The Piano Demon can do without the advances, he does enjoy the time he spends with him. Though he constantly has to reel in Alastor's jealous temper whenever he so much as mentions the prince.

The Piano Demon has access to the living world.

He, Alastor, and Mimzy knew each other when they were alive.

The Piano Demon and Lucifer have an odd relationship that even Alastor doesn't know the full extent of. It is implied they hold conversations in a void where no one else can hear them. What do they talk about? One can only speculate.

Only Alastor has seen his real face. No, he will not be providing details.

He is open to modern technology. He owns a smart phone that his underlings at the I.M.P company gifted to him. He mostly uses it for business, though.

Blitz calls him "Boss-Man" despite it being techinically incorrect. He's scared to death of him.

His cause of death is unkown.

He is indifferent to Vox and Alastor's chaos and rivalry, including Vox himself. They could be destroying a city behind him while bickering and he'd just sip his morning coffee while looking over his piano sheets.

The nature of his and Vox's relationship is odd. Vox despises his lover and causes him trouble yet the guy has literally zero reaction to his presence. Even Vox is perplexed on their dynamic. All in all, they're neutral to each other.

He would create a social media account out of curiousity. However, he is busy a lot of the time so he wouldn't manage it very well.

Would converse in a group chat with other Hotel residents, though. The others would tease him for being an old man for refusing to use anything other than proper grammar and puncuation.

Is known for roasting people's entire souls without knowing what "roasting" is. He'd probably respond by saying he does not eat other sinners and everyone would die laughing.

Him and Alastor have a relationship like Gomez and Morticia. Though he isn't very outwardly affectionate, Alastor is able to pick up on the sudtlies of his behavoir and react accordingly. Even if to outside viewers his feelings appear to be unreciprocated and delusional.

He is not fond of Alastor's dad jokes.

Alastor will often tease him with some just to get a laugh.

This may or may not end well in The Radio Demon's favor.

He is the only one who can reel in Alastor's chaotic impusles.

"Alastor, no-" 

Is a very common thing to hear. Only difference with him is Alastor actually listens. ....Most of the time.

When he doesn't? The Piano Demon can at least convince him to stop before things get too messy.

He can play multiple instruments but sticks to the piano.

He is also asexual.

[snarkybluechristian]

Hazbin Hotel: Yandere Alastor x Vaggie Chapter 5

Vaggie woke up from her forceful slumber back in the bed where Alastor had placed her the day before. The room was the same except it now had a vanity against one wall and a wardrobe on the other.

Vaggie sat up confusedly and noticed she was wearing a red, long-sleeved silk nightgown.  She was confused until she remembered what had happened the night before.

Upon that realization, Vaggie looked around the room for any sign of Angel but found nothing.  Panic crossed her face as she remembered how Alastor had treated him the night before.  Angel was probably in horrible shape and needed…Wait.  Was she actually worried about Angel?

She sighed deeply and caught a whiff of something strange.  Vaggie sniffed the air again and smelled the soap.  She then smelled her hair and her skin.  They both smelled fresh like she had showered the night before.

“Did someone bathe me?” Vaggie asked herself confusedly.

“No need to thank me, dearie,” Rosie replied popping up out of nowhere next to the door causing Vaggie to back up against the wall.  

“Thank you?!” Vaggie exclaimed.

“You’re welcome,” Rosie said turning on the lights and walking over to the bed.    

Vaggie backed up to the back corner of her bed and eyed Rosie suspiciously as she asked, “Did…? Did you actually bathe me?”

“Of course, I did, dear,” Rosie replied disgustfully stopping right next to the bed.  “I cleaned your teeth and changed you into clean clothes, too.  Alastor didn’t want you going to bed all dirty and smelly.  But, as you know, he’s too much of a gentleman to see you in nature before you two are properly married, so he asked me to prepare you for bed myself.  Isn’t he thoughtful?”

“Yeah, I’m so fucking grateful,” Vaggie retorted.  “Where is Angel?”

“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about him, dearie,” Rosie said dismissively.  “He’s just fine.  How about you?  Are you hungry?”

“Does it matter?” Vaggie asked suspiciously.  

“So full of questions,” Rosie replied bemusedly.  “Alastor has requested your presence for lunch.”

Vaggie froze for a moment in brief shock.  She had been asleep for over 12 hours…

“Oh, and dearie…�� Rosie said crawling on the bed to get Vaggie’s attention until she was close enough to brandish a knife in her face.  “That’s not a request.  That’s an order.”

Rosie grabbed Vaggie’s hand, pulled her off the bed, and shoved her in the bathroom.

“Hey!” Vaggie snapped.

“Do your business, clean your teeth, wash your face, put on deodorant, and do whatever it is you people do to get yourself looking more presentable,” Rosie ordered.  “I’ll be waiting out here to assist you when you finish.”

Vaggie tried jiggling the handle, but the door would not budge.  So reluctantly, she turned around and began getting ready for the day while figuring out a better plan.

However, Vaggie soon began to realize she was not alone.  It began when she flushed the toilet and thought she heard a moan in the room on the other side of the wall.  Vaggie paused to listen as much as she could, but she couldn’t hear over the sound of the plumbing.

Vaggie turned away to finish getting ready while waiting for the noise to die down.  She washed her hands, washed her face, brushed her teeth, put on her deodorant, and brushed her hair as slowly as she could.  

Eventually, her patience paid off.  

As Vaggie finished brushing her hair, she heard a weak voice call out to her on the other side of the wall.

“Vaggie?” the voice loudly whispered.  “Vaggie? Are you there?”

Vaggie froze in surprise as she realized that the tired voice was Angel’s.  He was usually so annoyingly energetic, but now, he sounded so exhausted.  What had they been doing to him all night?

“Angel?” Vaggie loudly whispered back while placing her ear against the wall.  “Angel?  Is that you?”

“Yeah,” Angel said in relief.  “Thank God. Vaggie, we don’t have much time. I can hear her coming back…Oh, no…”

A door in Angel’s room slammed open and Vaggie could hear Angel struggling against chains.

“Oh, sweetie,” Rosie’s sickly-sweet voice bled through the wall as she walked briskly to Angel’s bed. “Why are you making so much noise? Do you need to be changed again?”

“Do you want to change me, doll?” Angel asked playfully.  

“Oh, Angel, you’re so charming, but I can’t let you bother your next-door neighbor,” Rosie replied.

Vaggie heard Angel struggling against his restraints as Rosie seemed to climb on top of him and gag him.

“Mmph!” Angel tried yelled through his gag.  

“There, that’s better,” Rosie said happily exiting the room.  “I’ll play with you later, handsome.”

Angel continued thrashing around fruitlessly as Vaggie quickly realized where she was going.  

The moth demon turned around just in time to see Rosie to fling open her bathroom door and say, “Alrighty, Vaggie, my dear, let’s finish getting you ready…”

Vaggie gulped as Rosie stepped closer.

About an hour later, Rosie was leading a blindfolded Vaggie down to the dining room.  

The moth demon was dressed in a light pink tea dress and slightly high heels.  Her hair was French-braided and tied at the end with the ribbon that was previously her bow.  The only other original part of her outfit was her eye patch.  

Vaggie grumbled under her breath.  The dress and shoes were old enough to belong to her great-grandmother.  The whole ensemble made her feel like a doll.  

“Are we there yet?” Vaggie complained trying to remove her blindfold.  “How big is this damn house anyway?”

Rosie slapped her hand away and replied, “Impatient, are we, my little hoyden?”

“Hardly,” Vaggie snapped. “I don’t want to see Alastor.  I want to see Angel!”

“I told you, dearie,” Rosie said suddenly stopping.  “You can see your friend after you dine with your future husband…”

“He is not my fucking husband!” Vaggie yelled back as she heard Rosie open a door.  “You hear me?  Alastor is not and will never be my husband!”

Rosie untied the blindfold from around Vaggie’s eyes to reveal a large dining room with a table filled with Southern comfort food, large windows overlooking the woods, and Alastor sitting at the other end of the table.

“Good afternoon, Vaggie, my dear,” Alastor said cheerfully.  “Did you sleep well?  You may leave now, Rosie.”

Rosie pushed Vaggie into the room, winked at her friend, and quickly shut the door.

“Come, Vaggie,” Alastor said gesturing towards the chair on the opposite side of the table.  “You must be starving.  You’ve been sleeping for the better part of the last few days after all.  But I must warn you not to try anything foolish…”

Out of nowhere, Alastor’s deer familiars made their presence known on the walls.

Vaggie sighed deeply and reluctantly made her way to her chair.  She sat down in her seat and glared at Alastor for a few moments until her stomach growled.

“Oh, dear, you need to eat,” Alastor said.  “Don’t worry about getting up.  I’ll take care of it.”

Alastor snapped his fingers and instantly Vaggie’s plate was filled with food and a glass of water showed up out of nowhere.

Vaggie didn’t want to eat the food, but her hunger got the better of her and she dug into the collards and country- fried steak.  Meanwhile, Alastor ate food from his own plate only occasionally looking up to see how Vaggie was doing.  In no time at all, Vaggie had cleaned her plate and was downing her glass of water.

When Vaggie finally set her glass down, a pitcher of water instantly came and filled it up again. She looked up to see Alastor grinning from ear to ear.  

“My, my, someone was hungry,” Alastor chimed happily.  “Do you have room for dessert?”

A slice of chocolate cake instantly appeared on Vaggie’s plate from the cake on the table.

“Eat up,” Alastor said. “And don’t worry, dear.  There’s plenty more where that came from.”

Vaggie looked at him suspiciously and finally spoke her mind.

“Alright, shitlord,” Vaggie said before plunging her fork into her chocolate cake.  “What do you want?”

“What are you talking about, darling?” Alastor asked confusedly.  “I only want your company.”

“Yeah, sure,” Vaggie said rolling her eyes.  “What do you really want?”

Alastor’s expression twisted in confusion while Vaggie took a bite of cake as he said, “Vaggie, I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

Vaggie sipped some water, rose an eyebrow, and said, “Cut the crap.  What do you really want?  I've been here long enough to know what there is to know about you.  I know you never show interest in anyone or anything unless you're getting something out of it.  So, what do you want?  Why are you keeping me and Angel here?”

Alastor’s face looked shocked as he replied, “You don't believe that I have finally felt the call to romance?  Why not?  I'd think you'd be honored.  I could theoretically have any demoness I desired.”

Vaggie swallowed the piece of cake she was chewing on, rolled her eyes, and said, “Gee, never heard that one before.”

“What do you mean?” Alastor asked leaning forward on the table in amusement.

Vaggie finished her sip of water, slammed the glass back on the table, and said, “I was a prostitute.  I'm used to old, rich guys hitting on me.  I hated all of them, too.  They were just vapid, insecure old men who wanted someone young and pretty to give them attention.  I could understand if one of the other kingpins hit on me, but you're not those guys.  You don't need that type of attention to stroke your ego...”

“I am significantly older than any of them,” Alastor interrupted.  

“Yeah, you could be my great-grandfather,” Vaggie retorted.

“I hope that isn't what's repulsing you,” Alastor said before taking a sip of his own water.  “We're both dead, darling.  Age is irrelevant now.  Charlie is older than I am…”

“You’re nothing like Charlie…” Vaggie said standing up in front of her seat.  

“What are you saying?” Alastor said acting offended.

“I know you don't really care about me,” Vaggie said glaring bullets into him.  “There's something else you want.  What is it?”

Alastor’s face fell in absolute shock.  It was an unusual expression for a face that was so used to smiling.

“I'm shocked,” Alastor said dramatically leaning backward.  “You don't think I love you?!  How can you accuse me so?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Vaggie said narrowing her eye.  “Besides, if you did, you would have proved it already.”

When Alastor didn’t respond, Vaggie took it as a victory.  She sat back down and continued eating her cake and drinking her water in silence that Vaggie welcomed.  

Alastor sat there staring at his plate in contemplation.  He didn’t even lift his head when Vaggie stood up.

“The meal was nice, but now, Angel and I must be leaving,” Vaggie said quietly.  “I’d say it has been fun, but that would be a lie.”

Vaggie quickly but quietly walked away from the table and looked back, but Alastor still wasn’t looking up.  By the time she had reached the door, Vaggie had begun to think she could possibly escape unscathed.  

Unfortunately, when Vaggie reached for the door, she felt herself being turned around and held in a tight embrace.  It was Alastor looking both more determined and more unsure than Vaggie had ever seen him in the time they knew each other.

“Alastor, what are you…?” Vaggie started to ask before Alastor put a finger on her lips to silence her, put one hand on her back and another one her head, leaned in, and locked his lips with hers.

Vaggie froze in absolute terror as Alastor made out with her.  She tried pulling her head away, but he swiftly picked her up, telekinetically cleared someplace on the table, sat her on top of it, and continued his kissing while holding her hands.  

When Vaggie tried to pull away again, Alastor only laid her down on the table, climbed on top of her, and moved on to sucking her neck while using his hands to hold her head in place.

Vaggie felt a chill run through her as she realized just how obsessed Alastor was with her.  This situation was worse than she thought. She started feeling around for something she could use to get Alastor off her.

Vaggie let out an involuntary whimper as Alastor took a break from his kissing and said with his face no more than an inch away from hers, “Women are made to bear, and so are you.  Do you believe me now, Vaggie?  You should. I may be no expert on lovemaking, but I do believe that hickeys are a man’s way of marking what is his…”

Vaggie’s wandering hand finally found just what it was looking for.

“If that’s the case,” Alastor said nuzzling his face against hers like a deer.  “You’re all mine…”

Vaggie took the opportunity to plunge the steak knife she was wielding straight into Alastor’s skull. The Radio Demon was immediately visually disoriented.  He backed off Vaggie and into the chair she was sitting in knocking the chair over and tripping backward over it.

Vaggie took this opportunity to jump off the table and dash out of the room.

As soon as she left, Alastor pulled the knife out of his head, rubbed his healing head, and said to himself, “Oh, dear.  I may have been a bit too forward…”