#Romantic or not is up to you as always but they are SO important. So love

[haikyuubby]

the mha boys in a relationship!

featuring: bakugo, midoriya, todoroki, iida, tokoyami, shinso, & monoma.

❀ - fluff, gender neutral reader

bakugo

↳ bakugo is very...unpredictable

↳ one day, he is all up on you and is very clingy, and the next he wants to be left alone.

↳ mood swings are expected with him.

↳ bakugo is great at gift giving, he pays close attention to detail, especially with you.

↳ since bakugo pays attention to the little things, he'd be able to tell when you're upset or mad.

↳ he's probably not into pda, he wants to keep stuff like that private.

midoriya

↳ midoriya is a great boyfriend.

↳ might be a bit creepy, he has a whole notebook dedicated to you.

↳ said notebook has notes about your quirk, things you like, favorite foods, etc.

↳ he knows you like the back of his hand.

↳ midoriya also loves to take you out on the weekends if he's free.

↳ he likes to hug or hold hands in public, but no more than that.

todoroki

↳ todoroki is unintentionally sweet.

↳ he will do small things for you without knowing it.

↳ for example, you mentioned that you loved strawberries but didn't have any at home at the moment.

↳ the next day during lunch, you open your lunch box and find strawberries in it.

↳ if you ask todoroki if he put them in there he'd just casually say "yeah, because you said you liked them but didn't have any."

↳ also someone who doesn't mind light pda, but would rather kiss in private.

iida

↳ iida is a "play it by the books" typa guy.

↳ dating him would be full of stereotypical romantic things, but it's still special.

↳ expect this man to have flowers in his hand, ready for you, before every time he takes you out on a date.

↳ iida's your biggest motivator, he always pushes you to do your best.

↳ would not initiate pda (especially in school), but in public he would like to hold your hand or have you hold his arm.

tokoyami

↳ tokoyami is a very romantic lover.

↳ his aesthetic shows through all the gifts he gets you, though.

↳ he gets you black or dark purple colored flowers.

↳ he is always looking for ways to take care of you.

↳ tokoyami opens doors for you, carries your books, he's just completely whipped for you.

↳ he doesn't mind pda at all, he thinks that having you by his side is a sight that everyone should see.

shinso

↳ shinso knows you better than anyone else.

↳ the only time that shinso was afraid to speak his mind with you was when he first confessed.

↳ ever since you two got together, he's gotten extremely comfortable with you.

↳ he loves to get you gifts, especially squishmallows.

↳ every time you two are out and about he insists that he gets you one.

↳ in his defense, he just wants you to stay comfortable When you're laying in bed at home.

↳ shinso also wouldn't mind pda, he loves letting people know that he loves you.

monoma

↳ monoma was a passionate lover.

↳ anything he did for you, it had to be perfect.

↳ whether that be gifts, dates, or even simple at home hangouts, he always made sure to do some grand gesture for you.

↳ monoma loves to give you flowers, seeing you post about it on your story and tagging him in said post makes his day.

↳ he wants to show the world how good of a boyfriend he is.

↳ more importantly, he wanted to make you feel loved and important.

↳ monoma's the type of person to cringe at couples who make out in the hallways, so light pda is good for him.

[mrsfancyferrari]

Hey author,

I really appreciate your work and have a Lando fiction request for you. Here's the idea:

Lando and the Reader have been best friends since they were babies. Lando has been in love with the Reader since he was a teenager, which is why he has never had a serious relationship. He has flings with girls, but nothing serious. On the other hand, the Reader has been in love with Lando for the past one to two years but thinks he doesn't like her that way, which is why she doesn't propose. Lando doesn't propose because he thinks she deserves better than him.

Lando is very protective of the Reader, and the Reader is equally protective of Lando. Whenever his mental health is in ruins, she is always there for him.

The Reader knows about all of Lando's flings. Lando gets into these flings to try and get the Reader out of his mind. However, the Reader thinks Lando isn't interested in her romantically and believes he isn't relationship material. She's scared of getting her heart broken and ruining their friendship because she thinks Lando is never serious. She knows he sleeps around and is protective of him in a way that she advises him to be smart about who he sleeps with and to stay out of the headlines for anything other than racing.

The story starts after the Brazil race, where Lando had a tough time and went without sleep for 24-48 hours. When he returns from São Paulo, he finds the Reader already there, ready to comfort him after a bad race.

That's the plot I have in mind. I hope you like it!

Best regards,

Anon.

First Choice

Summary: LN4 + Lando and the Reader have been best friends since they were babies. Lando has been in love with the Reader since he was a teenager, which is why he has never had a serious relationship. He has flings with girls, but nothing serious.

Song: 505 · Arctic Monkeys

Author’s note: Please like, reblog and share this! 🫶

Word count: 7.8k

MASTERLIST - F1

The scent of burnt toast hangs heavy in the air, a familiar morning aroma in your shared apartment. You sigh, pulling the offending pieces from the toaster.

Lando, ever the picture of chaotic energy even at this early hour, is perched on the kitchen counter, his legs swinging, a half-eaten banana in hand. He grins at you, that lopsided grin that still makes your stomach flip after all these years.

"Morning, sunshine," he says, his voice still raspy with sleep.

"Morning, burnt-toast aficionado," you reply, placing the sad, charred remains in the bin. "Honestly, Lando, you'd think after living together for five years you'd have mastered the art of toasting bread."

He shrugs, taking another bite of the banana. "Where's the fun in that? Plus, you always make the good stuff anyway." He watches you move around the kitchen, preparing your usual breakfast – a bowl of yogurt with berries and granola.

You feel his eyes on you, a familiar warmth settling in your chest. It's a warmth you’ve learned to ignore, to file away in the ‘best friend’ folder in your heart. You glance at him, your eyes meeting for a fleeting moment.

He quickly looks away, pretending to be engrossed in the peeling of his banana.

You’ve known Lando since you were babies, practically grew up in each other's pockets. There wasn't a significant moment in your lives that didn't involve the other. You've seen each other at your absolute best and, often, your absolute worst.

You've held his hand through heartbreaks, celebrated his victories with boisterous cheers, and held him when the weight of the world threatened to crush him.

He's been your constant, your anchor, the most important person in your life.

The problem, the elephant in your cozy, shared kitchen, is that your feelings for him have evolved. In the last year or so, things changed. The comfortable fondness morphed into something deeper, something more intense, and scarily complex.

You are in love with Lando. It's a truth you've kept fiercely guarded, a secret tucked away like a precious, fragile gem. You can't let him know. He deserves someone who’s not… well, who’s not you.

Someone prettier, smarter, someone not-so-hopelessly-in-love with their best friend.

And he, oblivious to the turmoil in your heart, continues to be just Lando. Carefree, charming, and infuriatingly handsome as he sits there, swinging his legs, a messy mop of hair falling across his forehead.

He’s had his share of flings, a string of fleeting affairs that seemed to come and go with the changing seasons. They never lasted, never meant anything, you knew that.

You've always attributed to his inability to settle down on the fact that he isn't ready for commitment, or that he simply doesn't want one. But the truth is, those relationships hurt you.

They always left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“Big day today, right?” Lando says, interrupting your thoughts. He’s referring to a photography exhibition you’ve spent months working on.

His tone is light, but you recognize the undercurrent of concern. He always feels your anxiety, even when you try to hide it.

You nod, forcing a smile. “Yeah, a little. But I’m excited too.”

“You’re going to be amazing,” he says, his eyes meeting yours again, this time holding a seriousness that makes your heart skip a beat. “You always are.”

Your exhibition is a success. The gallery is crowded with people, murmuring appreciative comments as they wander past your photographs. You see Lando weaving through the crowd, his eyes always finding you, a small, proud smile playing on his lips.

He’s the first to congratulate you, pulling you into a tight hug, his scent of citrus and something uniquely ‘Lando’ engulfing you.

“I told you,” he whispers in your ear, his breath sending shivers down your spine. “You absolutely smashed it.”

Later that evening, after everyone’s gone, and the gallery is silent, you find yourself sitting on a small bench outside, the cool night air a welcome contrast to the stuffy interior.

You’re exhausted but exhilarated, a potent mix of emotions swirling inside you.

Lando sits beside you, silent for a moment, just observing you. You can feel him, the weight of him beside you, a comforting presence in the quiet night. You lean your head on his shoulder, a familiar habit you haven’t thought too much about until now.

As if on cue he puts his arm around you. For a moment, you let yourself indulge in the warmth of his touch.

“You know,” Lando begins, his voice soft, almost hesitant, “I’ve… I’ve never met anyone like you.”

Your heart clenches in your chest. You know what he means. He means as a friend.

You pull away slightly, forcing a casual tone. “We’ve known each other since diapers, Lando. That’s hardly a surprise.”

He’s quiet again, the silence stretched taut between you. You can feel the intensity of his gaze, even in the dim light.

“No,” he says finally, his voice low. “That’s not… that’s not what I mean.”

Your breath catches in your throat. You look at him, really look at him, and see the vulnerability in his eyes, a vulnerability you’ve only ever seen when his inner demons are creeping to the surface.

He’s looking at you like he’s about to reveal a secret, a terrifying, life-altering truth.

“I’m… I’m a mess, you know?” he continues, his fingers playing with the loose thread on his jacket. “I’m chaotic, I’m impulsive, I’m… I’m not good enough for anyone, especially not…” he stops, his gaze dropping to his hands.

The statement stings, you know exactly what he’s implying. You are not just anyone.

“Lando,” you say, placing a hand on his arm, “Stop it. Don't say that about yourself. You’re amazing. You’re brilliant, and funny, and kind.”

He looks up, his eyes locking with yours. “But you… You’re everything good. You’re sunshine, you’re calm, you’re everything I’m not. You deserve someone… someone better than me.”

The truth hits you like a punch to the gut. That’s why. That’s why he hasn’t let himself fall in love, not truly, not completely. He’s always been convinced you deserve someone ‘better’, and he’s deemed himself unworthy.

The irony of it all isn't lost on you. Here you are, convinced he doesn't love you, and he's doing the very same thing.

"You idiot," you whisper, a tear escaping from your eye.

He looks at you, surprised by your immediate reaction. His protective instincts are triggered. “Hey, are you okay? What happened?”

You shake your head, your heart aching. “You’re so, so wrong, Lando. So incredibly, completely wrong.”

He flinches at your tone as if you've slapped him, the confusion on his face mirroring what you feel inside.

“I… I’m in love with you,” you blurt out, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you can stop them. “I have been for a long time. And I don’t care if you’re a mess, or chaotic, or impulsive. I love all of it, all of you.”

The silence that follows is deafening. It’s a silence filled with shock, disbelief, and a tentative hope. You hold your breath, waiting for him to say something, anything.

Lando reaches up, his fingers brushing against your cheek. A gentle, hesitant touch. “You… you’re in love with me?”

You nod, unable to speak, your eyes filled with tears.

He closes his eyes for a moment, a small smile playing on his lips. When he opens them again, his eyes hold a vulnerability that you’ve never seen before.

“I… I think I’m in love with you too. Have been… for years,” he confesses. “I just thought… I thought you deserved someone better.”

You laugh, a choked, tearful laugh. You reach out and cup his face in your hands. "Lando, you are the only person I've ever wanted. You are the best, for me, and for me only."

He leans into your touch, his eyes searching yours. “Are you sure?”

“More than anything,” you whisper, closing the gap between you.

His lips meet yours, a soft, tentative kiss that quickly deepens into something more. It’s a kiss that speaks of years of unspoken feelings, of shared history, of a love that’s finally found its voice.

And as you hold each other under the cool night sky, you know that you're not just best friends any more. You're a love story finally being written, and you can't wait to see where it leads.

Unfortunately it leads to you waking up in your bed with no one laying beside you and the feeling of embarrassment stuck in your mind as you screamed into your pillow. . . .

The scent of old books and rain hung heavy in the air, a familiar comfort to Lando. He sat nestled in the corner of the worn armchair, fingers tracing the spine of a well-loved copy of The Little Prince.

Outside, the storm raged, mirroring the tempest brewing within him. He’d spent the better part of the day wrestling with the same old question, the one that always seemed to circle back to her: you.

He knew it was pathetic, really. He was a grown man, a Formula One driver, someone who faced death-defying speeds with a cool head, yet the thought of you sent his heart into a ridiculous, flustered flutter.

He’d been in love with you for… well, for a very long time, really. Since he was probably sixteen, when you’d morphed from the goofy, pigtail-wearing kid he’d built Lego castles with, into… you.

He'd never quite understood how you did it. How you could make his chest ache with a tenderness so profound it felt like a physical weight. It was a constant, low hum in his life, always there, a melody only he could hear.

He remembered the first time he felt it, a silly school dance, the scent of your strawberry hair spray and the way your hand had lingered on his arm, and that was it. He was a goner.

The girls he had flings with now, they were distractions, bright and shiny things that filled a void, but they never held the depth of feeling he had for you. They were beautiful, interesting even, but they were never you.

He'd tried, he really had, to foster something real, to move past this ridiculous, teenage crush. It never worked. The comparisons were automatic, the longing, a sharp pang that never went away.

He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the windowpane. Dark circles under his eyes, a weary set to his jaw. He was tired of the charade, tired of pretending that something, anything, else could ever come close.

He knew, deep down, that he was probably the biggest idiot on the planet. Here he was, pining after the girl who had been the constant in his life since he could barely walk, all because he thought he wasn't good enough for you.

He ran a hand through his hair, the memory of your laughter echoing in his mind. It was the most beautiful sound, that infectious, uninhibited joy that could light up a room.

He’d always loved making your laugh. He could face a hoard of angry fans, a high-speed curve, anything really, but that radiant smile was his true weakness.

He knew you were there for him, always. When the pressure of the season crushed him, when the disappointment of a bad race left him feeling hollowed out, you’d always appeared, like a calming balm to his battered soul.

A cup of tea brewed just the way he liked, a quiet presence, an empathetic ear. You knew him, understood him in a way no one else ever had, and it terrified him.

He’d seen the way you looked at him sometimes, a vulnerability that mirrored his own, and it sent a jolt of hope, a tiny flicker of something that resembled courage.

The rain outside intensified, and the room seemed to grow darker.

Just then, a soft knock echoed through the door. "Lando?" your voice was gentle, laced with concern, and it sent a shiver through him, not of fear, but of anticipation.

He cleared his throat, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, come in."

The door creaked open, and you stepped in, your silhouette framed by the dim light from the hallway. You were wrapped in a thick, fuzzy robe, your hair slightly damp from the rain.

You looked… beautiful. You always did.

"You okay? I saw the lights on; thought I’d check."

"Yeah, just… thinking," he mumbled, his cheeks heating up despite his best efforts. He knew you could see right through him.

You walked towards the armchair, your steps light and graceful. You perched on the edge of the sofa across from him, your eyes fixed on his face. "Thinking about what?"

The simple question sent a wave of panic through him. He couldn't tell you, not now. Not after all this time. “Just… the race. And the… season is stressful.”

You nodded, your gaze softened. “It is. But you always handle it so well. You’re incredibly resilient, Lando, you know that, right?”

He looked down at the book, his fingers tracing the embossed lettering. “Sometimes… it doesn't feel like it."

You reached out, your hand covering his on the book. Your touch sent a jolt through him, a spark of something he couldn’t quite define. He finally looked up at you, into those warm eyes.

“Lando,” you began, your voice barely a whisper, “you’re… you're the bravest person I know.”

He wanted to tell you, right then, how you made him feel. How, just your presence was enough to calm the storm inside him. How, he wanted nothing more than to spend his life with you, to wake up every morning next to your smile.

But, the fear, the old fear that had nestled deep inside him, stopped him. Could he really risk this friendship? Could he really trust himself to make you happy?

“I… appreciate that,” he managed to say, his voice rough.

“Lando…” you hesitated, your eyes searching his. He felt like you could see right into his soul, and the thought alone was both terrifying and exhilarating.

“I know you don’t always… talk about things, but I want you to know that you can tell me anything. Anything at all.”

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. The irony was almost comical. You were practically begging him to open up, and here he was, silent, consumed by his own self-doubt.

"I have always felt… very safe with you Y/N. You have a way of making things better." he said, not really looking at you.

You smiled tentatively, a small, shy smile that made his heart clench. “So you’re not… you’re not just saying the race is bothering you?”

He hesitated again. He wanted to tell you. Really, truly wanted to. But the words seemed to get caught in his throat.

Instead, he shook his head, the lie thick on his tongue. “No, it’s the race. Just thinking too much.”

A flicker of disappointment crossed your face, but it was gone too quickly for him to be sure. You took your hand from his, and stood up. He hated that distance.

“Okay,” you said, your voice flat. “Well, you know where to find me if you need anything.”

He watched as you turned and walked towards the door, his chest aching with the words he couldn't say. “Wait,” he blurted, the word escaping his lips before he could stop it.

You turned back, your eyes questioning.

He looked up at you, really looked at you, and saw the same hesitant vulnerability he’d seen before. The same love that he knew was there, but that they both refused to acknowledge.

"Will you… will you stay? Here, a little longer?” He didn’t know why he said it, but he felt a pull, an urge, like a man lost at sea finally seeing land.

You hesitated, a small smile playing on your lips. "Okay, Lando."

The next few moments passed in comfortable silence. You sat back down, this time a little closer. He wanted to take your hand, to lean closer, to kiss you, but he didn't.

He was scared that if he did, you would back away, that he would finally lose the only constant in his life. As you two sat, the rain continued to drum against the windows, a soft melody that seemed to mirror the quiet hope that was slowly blooming in his heart.

Maybe, just maybe, one day he would be brave enough. Maybe, one day, he would finally tell you. . . .

The hum of the city, once a soundtrack to your life, now felt like a constant, irritating buzz. It was a far cry from the roar of the engines, the electric atmosphere of the paddock, and the shared thrill of a race weekend.

It had been three months since you last stepped foot on a racetrack. Three months since you’d last seen Lando in person, his smile brighter than any spotlight, his laughter a melody you’d carried in your heart since childhood.

You’d told him, of course, that work was piling up, that deadlines loomed like hungry wolves. A convenient lie. The truth was a knot of jealousy and longing coiled tight in your chest.

Seeing him with a different woman each weekend, a new face plastered on his Instagram, was a slow, agonizing torture. You'd tried.

You really had tried to convince yourself it was just how he was, how he’d always been. Casual. Light. A whirlwind of fleeting affections.

“You okay?” your friend, Maya, asked, her voice pulling you back to your chaotic apartment.

Papers littered the coffee table, a half-eaten sandwich lay forgotten on a plate, and a half-drunk mug of tea sat growing cold. You’d been trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to organize your life.

“Just… work, you know?” you mumbled, pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You knew Maya saw through you. She had for years.

She’d been the one to hold your hand when you’d burst into tears after seeing Lando with that model at the Monaco Grand Prix party, the one with the impossibly high cheekbones and even more impossibly long legs.

“It’s Lando, isn’t it?” she probed gently, picking up your tea and heading to the kitchen to reheat it.

You sighed, the air escaping your lungs like a deflated balloon. “He… he has a new girlfriend,” you admitted, the words tasting like ash in your mouth. “She’s a… a dancer, I think? From Milan.”

Maya came back, handing you the steaming mug. “And that bothers you,” she stated, not questioning.

“Of course it bothers me,” you snapped, immediately regretting your tone. “It… it always does. It’s so stupid, I know. We’re just friends. He’s just… Lando.”

“But you’re not just friends, are you?” Maya’s voice was soft, kind. “You’re Lando and you. You two are… a constellation.”

You closed your eyes, the image of Lando’s laughing face, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, the familiar way he’d nudge your shoulder when he thought you were being too serious, flashing across your mind. You felt a familiar pang of longing.

"He'd never... look at me like that," you whispered, the truth finally, painfully, out in the open. "He’s never serious. He jumps from girl to girl. I tell him he needs to be careful, but he never listens. He thinks life is this big party, and... I can’t keep getting hurt by it."

"And you think your heart is safer here, far away from him?" Maya asked.

"Yes," you said firmly. "It has to be."

The phone on the table buzzed, Lando's name flashing across the screen. Your heart skipped a beat, a familiar mix of dread and longing washing over you. You picked it up, a rehearsed calmness masking the turmoil within.

“Hey, Lando,” you said, your voice surprisingly even.

“Hey, you,” his voice, usually bright and cheerful, was laced with weariness. “How’s work?”

“Overwhelming,” you replied, keeping your tone light. “How was the race?”

“Frustrating, honestly,” he sighed. “The car was… not cooperating. And I… I’ve just been feeling… off.”

And there it was. The vulnerability you knew so well. The undercurrent of despair that only you, it seemed, could sense beneath the surface. The Lando behind the smiles and the social media posts.

Your Lando.

“Are you okay?” you asked, the work-related excuses falling away.

“Not really,” he admitted quietly. “I’ve been missing you at the track. It’s… different without you there.”

Your heart squeezed. You wanted nothing more than to be by his side, to offer the quiet solace he seemed to need. But the fear, the jealousy, held you back.

“I miss being there too,” you admitted, the lie slipping out effortlessly. “But this work is relentless.”

“Yeah,” he said, deflated. “I get it. Look, I just… wanted to hear your voice. You always know how to make me feel better.”

“Anytime,” you replied softly. “Just… try to get some rest tonight, okay? And be careful, Lando.”

“I will,” he promised. “You too.”

The call ended, leaving you staring at the phone, your heart a tangled mess of longing and regret. You knew your absence was making things harder for him.

Yet, you couldn't bring yourself to return to the races, to witness the casual intimacy he shared with other women, to have your heart broken all over again.

You tried dating. It was a disaster. Every conversation with a potential suitor felt flat, every joke fell short. They weren't Lando, and that was a truth you couldn't escape.

You went on awkward dates, tried to force connections, but your mind always, always, circled back to the same person.

You missed his quick wit, his infectious laugh, his unwavering faith in you. You missed him. . . .

The hum of the television fills your Monaco apartment, the familiar roar of Formula One engines a stark contrast to the quiet elegance that surrounds you. You’re curled up on the plush sofa, a half-eaten bowl of pasta forgotten on the coffee table.

Today is the Brazilian Grand Prix, and even though you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t, you’re glued to the screen, your eyes fixed on the familiar orange and papaya of Lando’s McLaren.

On the screen, you watch as he chats with Oscar, a polite smile plastered on his face. It’s the kind of smile he wears for the cameras, the fans, the world, but you know the truth behind it.

You’ve seen it too many times, that little tightening around his eyes, the subtle dip of his lip. It's a mask he uses to navigate the demanding world of Formula One, a shield he utilizes to protect a heart that you’ve seen be both incredibly kind and extraordinarily fragile.

The race starts, and your heart pounds along with the pulsing rhythm of the engines. You watch, your knuckles white as you clutch the throw pillow, as Lando battles his way through the pack. He’s aggressive, pushing the limits, but it’s not enough.

The chequered flag falls, and the screen flashes tenth place. A wave of disappointment washes over you, not just for Lando, but for yourself too.

You crave to be there, to pull him into a comforting embrace, to murmur words of encouragement that will soothe away the frustration that you know is eating him up inside.

Instead, you watch silently as he gives a series of interviews, the forced smile never faltering. Your chest aches, and you can almost feel the weight of his disappointment. You glance at the clock.

It was still early in the day, but you were feeling the pull of sleep. The television screen morphs into a blurry kaleidoscope of colours and sounds.

You switch off the TV and head to bed, an unwanted weight firmly placed within your chest.

The fluorescent lights of the Sao Paulo hotel room hummed, a monotonous drone that mirrored the turmoil brewing within Lando. The race had been a disaster, a slow, agonizing descent from the potential of the starting grid to a disappointing tenth place.

But the race itself wasn't the real problem. The undercurrent of fatigue, the gnawing anxiety that had kept him awake for the past two days, was the true enemy.

He hadn't slept properly since the qualifying session, his mind a relentless hamster wheel of "what ifs" and self-criticisms. All he wanted was a clear head, a moment of peace, and the one person who could always provide both.

All he wanted was the comforting weight of a blanket, a soothing voice, the familiar scent of her. He wanted her, you, more than he wanted a win, more than anything.

He knew, of course, that you weren’t coming to races anymore. “Work,” you’d said, a little too quickly, a little too vaguely.

He’d tried to understand, had told himself it was for the best, that you deserved a career as vibrant as yours, but a part of him, the anxious, insecure part, couldn’t help but feel abandoned.

Especially now, on nights like these.

He glanced at his phone, his thumb hovering over your name. The urge to call was a physical ache. He wanted to hear your voice, to see your face, to feel the comforting weight of your presence. But he stopped himself.

You were probably working, buried in whatever project you were passionate about this week. It was your standard excuse for not travelling to races anymore, a vague reference to your ‘work’ that he never pressed

He missed those eyes, even when they were filled with that unspoken emotion.

He tossed the phone onto the nightstand, the plastic clattering against the wood. He pushed himself up, the exhaustion weighing down his limbs. Maybe a shower would help.

He dragged himself to the bathroom, the hot water a temporary balm against his frayed nerves. As the steam swirled around him, his thoughts circled back to you, to your quiet strength, to the way you always seemed to know how to navigate the labyrinth of his mind.

He knew you would have known how to fix this awful feeling, much better than any team strategies or a strong cup of coffee.

He finished his shower, a towel pulled loosely around his waist. He stood before the mirror, his reflection staring back at him – eyes red, skin pale, a hollow echo of his usual self.

He hated looking at himself in this state. He rubbed a hand over his face, the stubble scratching against his palm.

He needed sleep, desperately, but the thought of entering that restless abyss again was far more daunting than facing a race.

He hadn't wanted to add to your plate, but he couldn't shake the sense that there was more to it.

Had he done something wrong? Had his focus on racing somehow pushed you away? These thoughts circled his mind like vultures.

A deep ache settled in his chest. He desperately wanted to see you, to hug you, to bury his face in your hair and forget the disappointments of the day. The need to feel your warmth, your presence, was a physical thing.

He reached for his phone, his finger hovering over your contact. He could call, he could text, he could just hear voice.

But no. You were probably working, busy, most likely. He dropped the phone back down onto the bedside table. He couldn't, wouldn't, interrupt you. He had that part to respect.

Sighing, he turned away from the mirror and clambered back into bed, hoping against hope that sleep would finally claim him.

The next few days were a blur of travel, media obligations, and frustrating debriefs. Lando went through the motions, his head filled with the echoes of the disastrous race and your absence.

He found himself constantly glancing at his phone, willing a message from you to appear, but the screen remained stubbornly dark.

Finally, the team returned to McLaren's headquarters in Woking. Lando, still reeling from the Brazil defeat, was looking forward to a familiar place.

He'd hoped that getting back to the usual routine would somehow steady him. As he walked into the familiar corridors of the tech centre, he knew that he needed a distraction.

“Hey, Lando, you okay?” Daniel’s voice broke through his thoughts. Daniel was his teammate, and a good one at that. He always knew when things were a bit off.

Lando forced a smile, “Yeah mate, just tired.”

Daniel didn’t look convinced. “You look like you haven’t slept in a week. Want to grab a coffee?”

“Sure, why not?” Lando agreed, wanting to get his mind off of everything.

They made their way to the cafeteria, Lando’s mind wandering back to the one person he wished he was with. He couldn’t help but wonder what you were doing, if you were even thinking of him.

He couldn't seem to shake this restless feeling, a void where your presence so obviously used to be.

After a rather silent coffee at the usual corner of the cafeteria, Daniel, clearly not in the mood to let this go, turned to Lando, his voice serious. “Lando, what’s really going on? You’re not yourself.”

Lando hesitated, his gaze fixed on the swirling foam in his cup. “It’s nothing, really.” He could feel his throat clench. He knew he couldn’t keep putting this off.

Daniel raised an eyebrow, a clear challenge in his eyes. “Nothing? You look like you’re about to implode, mate. Come on, spill it.”

Lando sighed, knowing he couldn't keep up the façade any longer. “It’s just… I miss her, you know?” He ran a hand through his hair, his voice barely above a whisper.

Understanding flickered across Daniel’s face. “Ah, that’s it, is it? And you haven’t spoken to her?”

Lando shook his head. “She’s been busy with work, I guess. I don’t want to bother her.”

“Bother her? Lando, you literally look like a kicked puppy. You should try talking to her, sometimes you need to let people know you need them.” Daniel’s voice was gentle, understanding.

Lando knew Daniel was right, but the fear of being rejected, of confirming that you were pulling away, held him back. “Maybe,” he conceded, though his heart was already pounding at the thought of reaching out.

He would wait until he gets back to Monaco tomorrow to say anything.

The plane landed, and Lando dragged himself off, the familiar sun of Monaco a stark contrast to the overcast skies of Brazil. He made his way through the airport, his thoughts a tangled mess.

He needed to sleep, desperately. He needed to clear his head. He needed to... he didn’t know. He just felt utterly lost.

He reached his apartment, fumbling with the key in the lock. He pushed the door open, the sound echoing in the silence of his home – a silence that was immediately shattered.

“What… what are you doing here?” he stammered, his voice thick with surprise. His bag slipped from his numb fingers, landing with a dull thud on the floor.

You were standing in the middle of his living room, holding a duster, a small smile curving your lips. The sight of you, here, in his space, was so unexpected, so achingly welcome, that he felt his breath hitch in his chest.

“Um, I wanted to see you, so I waited here and cleaned the place,” you said, your voice nervous. You looked as if you expected him to be angry, as if your presence was an intrusion. “I… I hope you don’t mind.”

Lando couldn’t speak. He just stared at you, the exhaustion, the weight of the past 24 hours, the sheer loneliness he had been battling, all suddenly dissolving.

He’d been so caught up in his own turmoil, that he had forgotten the sheer comfort, the utter peace, your presence brought him.

You walked towards him, a worried frown creasing your forehead. Your hands cupped his face, your touch sending a jolt of warmth through him. “I saw you, Lando. I saw how much you were hurting, even with those forced smiles. I know you, you idiot.”

You pulled him into a hug, and he finally allowed himself to be held, to feel your warmth, your comfort, and your unwavering support.

It was like coming home after a long and arduous journey. He buried his face in your hair, breathing in your familiar scent.

“I thought you were working,” he mumbled into your shoulder, his voice thick with emotion. He finally released the emotions that he'd bottled up. The race, the stress, the loneliness, all of it poured out.

“I am,” you said, pulling away slightly to look at him with genuine concern in your eyes. “But your mental health is my priority, you know that. And I had a few days off,” you added with a gentle smile.

He finally looked at you properly. It wasn't just the physical space that had grown from the time spent apart. It was the emotional distance he’d created, the wall he’d put up that felt so fragile now, now that you were here with him.

“Do you… do you hate the fact that I’m like this?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper, the vulnerability raw and exposed.

He had never wanted to be a burden to you, and the thought of being a disappointment was a knife to his chest.

You cupped his face again, your thumb gently stroking his cheek. Your gaze was unwavering, filled with an intense love that made his chest ache. “Never. You hear me? Never. This is who you are, the good and the not-so-good. And if you have a bad day, I am going to be here for you. Always.”

He felt tears prickling his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He had you now, and that was all that mattered. He didn’t deserve your unwavering support, your unconditional love, and yet, here you were.

He grabbed your face with both hands, his fingers threading into your hair. He finally did the one thing he had wanted to do from the moment he saw you. He kissed you.

It wasn’t a frantic, desperate kiss. Instead, it was a kiss filled with gratitude, with relief, and with a love so profound that it was a grounding force against the turbulence of his life. It was a silent promise, a reassurance that even in the chaos, he was loved, and he was not alone.

His kiss, so full of emotion, shocked you. Your eyes widened, but you didn't pull away. Instead, you melted into him, your arms wrapping around his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair. You kissed him back, the soft pressure of your lips a balm to his weary soul.

You knew that he had been hurting, that he had been doubting himself, and you just wanted to show him that you were there, always.

That you loved him, with all his faults, and all his glories.

"Can I have one more hug?" Lando muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes searching yours for any sign of disapproval.

"Aw, babe you don't have to ask, c'mere..." you said, your voice as soft as a feather. You opened your arms, and he moved towards you, his body almost trembling.

He buried his face in your neck, breathing in your familiar scent that grounded him again. He was already barely holding it together as he's getting his face held but then he feels that reassuring rub on his back and he just couldn’t.

The tears he had been fighting finally broke through, hot and heavy against your skin.

"I'm sorry," he muttered against your neck, his voice thick with emotion, his body shaking with the force of his sobs.

“It’s okay, baby, just let it all out. I’ve got you, I promise.” you said, your hand gently rubbing circles on his back in a comforting manner.

He hesitantly placed his hands on your waist and when he didn't get a complaint, he wrapped his whole hand around you, his grip tightening as he sought the warmth of your body against his.

He stood there for what felt like a lifetime, his tears soaking into your shirt, but you didn't move, didn't complain.

Instead, your arms tightened around him, holding him close, letting him know that you would always be there for him.

When he had finally cried himself out, the torrent of emotion slowly ebbing, he pulled back slightly, his eyes red and puffy, but a glimmer of peace had returned to them. You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs wiping away the last of the tears.

"Better?" you asked softly, your voice full of concern. He nodded, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Thank you” he said, his voice raspy, "For being here, for… for everything.”

"Of course, Lando, I'll always be here," you responded, your voice filled with love. "You don't have to thank me for loving you, it’s like breathing for me."

He looked at you, a love so profound filled his eyes, “I know. I just… I don’t know what I did to deserve you”.

You smiled, pulling him close again, “You just have to be you, that’s all I’ll ever need.” You kissed him again, a soft, tender kiss that spoke of love and promise, “Do you want to go to sleep?” you asked when you broke apart.

He nodded, his eyes closing briefly as he inhaled the faint scent of your perfume. “Can I… can I hold your hand?” he asked hesitantly, his voice barely a whisper, like a child seeking reassurance after a nightmare.

You smiled at him, your heart aching with a tenderness that always surprised you. "Of course."

You grabbed his hand, your fingers intertwining with his, feeling the immediate comfort of his hand enveloping yours. It was a perfect fit, two halves finally finding their place.

He shifted again, discarding his hoodie with a tired sigh, revealing the soft, slightly sweaty hair at the nape of his neck. It was a move so familiar, so intimately Lando.

Your fingers itched to touch it, to feel the silky strands between your fingers. He snuggled into you, his head resting on your chest, and you obliged, your fingers gently threading through his hair, massaging his scalp in slow, soothing circles.

You felt the tension begin to ease, his body becoming less rigid, and his breathing softening.

The silence that settled over the room was comfortable, a shared space where words weren’t necessary. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, the motion a silent lullaby. You watched him as he drifted off to sleep, his face relaxed in slumber, and your heart ached with a love so profound it threatened to spill over.

You noticed the faint tremble in his fingers now that they were no longer intertwined with yours and gently covered them with your hand.

Then, almost so quiet you thought you might have imagined it, he spoke. “You know, all those flings… they were all to distract me from the fact I couldn’t have you,” he admitted silently, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your heart fluttered, a thousand butterflies suddenly taking flight within your chest. You paused, your fingers still tangled in his hair, your hand still cradling his. You looked down at him, his eyes still closed, his face relaxed.

Did he mean that? You wondered, your mind racing.

You found that you couldn't contain yourself. You looked down at his face, so peaceful in his sleep, and you whispered, "Lando?"

“Mmmh?” He murmured, barely opening his eyes.

"Did you mean that?"

He opened his eyes fully and looked up at you, "Mean what?" he asked, a hint of confusion in his voice.

Your heart was thumping in your chest so hard you thought he might hear it, "What you... what you said about the flings," you stammered, trying to keep your voice steady.

He stared at you for a moment, a slow realization creeping into his eyes. He looked almost embarrassed, his cheeks flushing a pale pink.

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing gently, before speaking. "Yeah," he said quietly, his gaze returning to your face. "I did. They… they never meant anything. They were just… distractions."

He closed his eyes again, his breath catching slightly. "I was a mess," he continued, his voice softer now. "I knew how I felt about you, always. But I didn’t think… I didn't think you would ever want me back. I thought I had ruined it, ruined us."

You smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile. “You never ruined us, Lando,” you reassured him, your voice gentle, your heart overflowing with love and relief. “You could never ruin us.”

Years. Years of pining and longing, of a love that was so powerful it had been a constant ache within you. To hear him finally admit it, to know he felt the same way, it was almost too much to bear.

You had always loved him, ever since you were kids. You had always been there for him.

He opened his eyes again, and in their depths was a vulnerability that took your breath away. “Really?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly. “Even now? Even after everything?”

You nodded, your heart swelling with love. “Always, Lando. Always,” you whispered, leaning down and placing another soft kiss on his forehead.

You continued running your fingers through his hair, and he snuggled deeper into your chest, his hand finding yours again, his fingers wrapping tightly around yours.

The storm outside had finally passed, and the first slivers of dawn were beginning to paint the sky a pale, delicate pink. You sat there in the quiet room, surrounded by the soft glow of the city lights, and took in the moment, savouring the silence, the comfort, the quiet understanding that existed between you. It was you, and it was him, finally together. Finally home.

You continued to massage his scalp, the gentle, repetitive motions lulling him deeper into sleep. You watched his chest rise and fall with each breath, feeling a sense of peace that you had not felt in a long time.

You knew that there would be challenges ahead, you knew there would be more storms to weather, but for now, all that mattered was that you were here, together, under the soft city lights, your hands entwined, your hearts finally at peace.

You closed your eyes, a soft smile gracing your lips. This is all I could ever want. To be his first choice. you thought, falling asleep by his side. . . .

[zepskies]

Ooooh I'M so excited to see what you thought of the ATW finale!

Lol aww you remembered!! ❤️‍🔥 I've legit had this scene for this story in my head since that convo! But you're too kind to me, friend, thank you so very much. 🥹🥹 This is a lot shorter than how long my usual series run, so I feared it was a bit rushed, but I'm so glad you've enjoyed the ride. 💕

And yes, I did steal your other Ross gif! 🤣

There's legit a Friends gif for everything.~

Such a strong and hot start, wow! 🫠🔥 Full honesty, as a writer, starting chapters with smut always freaks me tf out. Like, where do you put the damn "keep reading" line without flashing some innocent people at work 😂

We're starting off with a bang! 😝 (Sorry, even I hate my self for that pun.)

Oh God, yeah. How do I include a hook to get people to read this chapter while keeping the steamy stuff under the cut? 🤣🤣

Ooof, I know the exact feeling you're describing here. Kinda like when you're taking a hot bath but the room is cold and so everything not covered by water is freezing... 😅

Yes exactly! The kind of cold that just exists in the air like a frigid blanket. 🥶

Oh, here we go! Executed to perfection 😏

Ahaha thank you, my lovely. 😏❤️‍🔥

First of all, I was just reading this whole, intensely scorching scene with a thundering heart and squeezing my damn thighs hard 😂 Secondly, I loooove this trope! It's sorta romantic?! Idk 😅🤷‍♀️ Kinda gives "waiting for the right one and not in the mood for anyone else" vibes. I did that kinda with Russell recently lol But I love the extra intensity and specialness it gives, y'know? ❤️‍🔥

omg I love that trope too (clearly lol)! Yes that's exactly it on it being actually romantic -- and if you mean on Part 3 of Exit Strategy than I'm even more excited to read that chapter when I get a chance -- hopefully later this week! 😍 I'm loving how you're writing Russell. 💗

But yes I agree it adds an extra spark here imo, knowing Dean has been unintentially "saving himself" for her lmaoo.

Loved the callback of him hearing her again, although his instincts had taken over. It shows how much he cares about her and respects her 💕 And I truly wonder what Sam will say when Dean comes back with a mate lol

Aww that's exactly what I intended as well! He's not so far gone that he doesn't consider her and what she wants (with him). 💕

You know what, a few people have requested seeing an epilogue of some kind where Sam gets to meet the reader and she gets to meet him and Dean Jr., so I may have to sketch something soon for my next little project. 🥰

Lol I was gonna say, "How long do you guys plan on being here? This might take a while" 😂 But I'm so in love with their little afterglow bonding session ❤️❤️❤️ I honestly could read about their convos forever. They're so cute 🥹

Lolll right? They could be here for a week just going over the past 15 seasons. 😂 But they have to start somewhere, right? John's journal can only cover so much. And I wanted Dean to start expressing himself to her in words and start to open up to her in a way he hasn't done for anyone in years.

Aww I'm so glad that you love them together! 💗 In this story I found that the small moments and day-to-day convos between these two were just as important as the bigger action/dramatic moments.

We've already talked about this when he mentioned Dean jr. the first time, but my headcanon is, too, that Dean would be super happy, incredibly sad and lonely, and definitely a little envious and sour lol 😂😂

Ugh that's exactly it, poor baby. 😭 A perfect description of Dean post S15 here (gotta add envious and sour lmao).

You really nailed him here! I could hear every word out of his mouth, too!! 😂🫶

Omg thank you!! I feel like Dean's the one I can hear most clearly in my head when I write for him. 😂😂

Can totally seeing him doing all of that and arguing with her throughout lol Our hero 🥹💚

Oh absolutely. These two would probably be driving each other crazy while still being crazy in love with one another -- bickering all down the mountain. 🙄😂

(Dean grumbling, trying to stamp down his smile: "Shoulda left you for the damn bear.")

Oooh, I completely forgot she doesn't yet!! Aww, she loved him before she knew he had a cool car. This is like finding out he was a millionaire and kept it a secret to find true love and weed out the gold diggers 🤣

Bahahaa I LOVE that comparison. 🤣 I just imagined him pulling up like--

This had me DEAD 🤣🤣🤣

lmfaoooo I meannnn, is he wrong? 😂😂

A year???? Jesus fuck, this is even sadder now!!! Sam was really like, "Ciao, jerk." lol

Yeeeeah maybe this is something I'll explore if/when I write that epilogue, but Sam really is off having his new life. Granted, in my mind he reaches out to Dean to check in, invite him over, etc., but even though Dean's happy for him, it's hard to be around Sam's life when Dean himself feels so aimless (and kind of empty inside). So he probably did a lot of the "staying away" in the situation. 💙

Oh she's about to find out how much 😂😂💚

Oh she's about to find out a lot of things about her man that she never thought possible. 🤣🤣

("You've died HOW many times?!!")

That was such a perfect ending! They literally drove off into the sunset together *swoon* 😍🫠🫶 (And I could totally see Dean singing along to the lyrics at the end there) I seriously enjoyed this series so much, friend!! 🤍🤍🤍 Totally gave me those vibes 🥹💕:

Aww thank you so, so much, Wayne!! 💕💕 They really did have their Hallmark movie moment lol. (Oh, he SO would be singing along -- loudly! lol)

omggg I'm honestly honored that it gave you Mondler vibes. 🥹 I always loved them more than Ross/Rachel tbh, so that's literally the best compliment ever. 💗

Thank you again so much for reading and always brightening my day right up with your wonderful, insightful, hilarious comments on my writing, friend. 💞

Against the Wind - Part 4

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!Reader 

Summary: You wake up in a strange alpha’s cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.

AN: The grand finale...

Song Inspo: “Against the Wind” by Bob Seger

Word Count: 3.4K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, knotting, claiming, fluff and feels.

Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist

Part 4: Running to Live

His cold hands are warming on your skin as he slides them underneath your sweater. They move smoothly up your back, bunching up the material. You break from his kiss only to help him get the sweater off you, followed closely by his pants.

Your sweatpants slide down your legs with just a sharp tug, baring most of your body to his gaze. His eyes drag over your exposed neck and shoulders, your breasts cupped in your bra, down to your panties and bare thighs.

A shiver runs through you, both from his heated gaze, and from being exposed to the cooler air. Even with the fire going and the heater running in the cabin, the frigid air outside is unforgiving.

You have no problem with the way Dean guides you down from the chaise to take advantage of your nest on the floor, right in front of the fire. He draws you into a sensuous kiss, sucking your lower lip into his mouth and grazing with teeth.

“Were you nesting, Omega?” he teases, between the sinful meetings of his lips with yours. You hum your affirmation before his tongue swipes across your lower lip, seeking entrance.

You open yourself to him in more ways than one; you slip your hands across his naked shoulders and explore the smooth planes of muscle, the dips and softness in between. You encourage him to lower down, to cover you with the length and broadness of his frame. His weight is a welcome one between your thighs and against the softness of your body.

“Was worried about you,” you whisper a confession against his lips. Dean briefly pauses, meeting your eyes.

“Thanks for waiting up,” he says, with a hint of a smile.

Your lips curve upwards in return. You reach up to caress his cheek, feeling the prickling of his stubble. Your fingers thread into his hair, and you pull him back down for a devouring kiss.

Dean’s brows furrow as he holds you to him, wanting to feel every part of your skin against his. His calloused fingers map their way down your side, and across your back to unhook your bra. His lips veer away from yours to burn a wet, heated trail along your neck. His teeth come out to graze your skin, down your throat, down the lovely valley between your breasts.

“Dean,” you gasp, encouraging him when his hand cups one of your breasts. He explores the other with his mouth, teasing a pebbled nipple with his tongue. Your fingers tighten in his hair, your thighs rubbing together between the cage of his knees in the mess of blankets. Already you feel slick forming at the apex of your thighs and slipping down in between.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs against your skin. “Fucking beautiful, you know that?”

You can’t help but smile. Your face warms either from the fire dancing shadows across your bodies, or from him, his attention, his warmth, and the heat in his eyes when they meet your again. His hand slides down your body, over your hip and squeezing your thigh as he opens you up further for him.

“Tell me what you want, Omega.” While I still have control, his tone implies. His voice is gravel and sin while his hand moves swiftly and smoothly up the inside of your thigh.

“Touch me,” you breathe.

Nodding, he hooks his fingers around the hem of your panties and slides them down. You help him kick them off. Afterward, his thumb brushes over your mound, making you sharply inhale and squeeze his shoulders encouragingly. His fingers dip inside your wet heat, his brows raising with a smirk, as he feels the sheer amount of your slick already coating his digits.

“Fuck. This all for me, baby?” he remarks.

You hold onto the back of his neck with both hands as you nod, biting your lip. Your hips begin to cant against his hand on reflex, urging him to touch you.

“Alpha, please…” you implore, in a ragged whisper. He swallows your plea with a ravaging kiss, but he still gives you what you want. His thumb circles your clit, earning a moan from you into his mouth.

Soon, two of his fingers plunge slowly inside you, working you open, drawing more gasps and shudders of pleasure from your body. His length continues to strain hard against your thigh, but for him, it’s worth it to draw every sound, every time your body writhes and arches against him, craving release.

With a few more purposeful strokes, your inner walls clamp tight on his hand, and a flood of slick coats his knuckles even more. You gasp his name, your hands squeezing his arms just as tight as your pussy around his fingers.

Your skin is beginning to get dewy with sweat, and he kisses some of it off you when he trails down your chest. You stroke down his arms, down his back, whatever you can reach as you catch your breath. But then, his name falls from your lips with a firmer tone.

Dean raises his head, and you gently push at his chest. His brows furrow in confusion, only for it to be replaced with a smile of surprise when you curl a thigh over his hip and guide him onto his back. His head just manages to fall on one of your pillows, but he still utters a small grunt. You giggle down at him, bowing to meet him for a kiss.

He smirks and holds onto your hips, playfully squeezing your ass. “My wily omega.”

“Thought I was your cheeky omega,” you tease.

He snorts. “That too.”

You giggle some more as you treat him to the same path of open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Except this time, you hook a hand behind his neck, and you trail your tongue around his mating gland. You feel his jolt of surprise, as well as his instinctive growl of pleasure in response to his mate. Or at least, not yet…

His heart pounds in his chest.

“Omega,” he says, a warning not to tease as his grip tightens on your hips.

The command in his voice makes you shiver, but you smile and nuzzle his cheek in affection. You kiss your way down his body, playing special attention to his nipples, his stomach, the soft V and the happy trail of light brown fuzz leading you down between his hips.

Your fingers slide down his hardened desire through his underwear, earning a grunt from him, along with a shifting of his body against the blankets. Your lips curve as you nuzzle him there as well, letting your lips drag across his impressive length.

His fingers tangle in your hair when you hook your nails around the waistband and free his cock from its confines. His boxers join the rest of your clothes somewhere, and finally you get to see all of him, as much as he takes in all of you. Your hand wraps around his girth, your thumb circling around the sensitive, weeping head of it. Dean groans, a sound from deep in his chest.

You don’t know this, but it’s been a while since anyone but his own hand has touched him. That’s not the only reason his body has been calling to yours, but it plays a part in how fucking good it feels, and how much more he wants you.

He feels your intentions when your hand moves down his shaft in a teasing caress, your fingers tracing around his knot. A shudder rattles down his spine, makes his desire burn hotter in the pit of his stomach.

He can’t fucking take it anymore. He needs you, needs to be inside you. Needs to take you the way his instincts demand.

He grasps your shoulder before you put your mouth on him. You blink up at him, with a question forming on your lips, but he hefts you up onto his chest by your arms. He cages you there with a kiss filled with abject need.

“I can’t. Can’t wait anymore,” he says. He drags his fingers through your folds and earns another moan from your when he finds your clit. “You ready for me, Omega? Need my knot?”

“Yeah,” you nod, agreeing against his lips. “Need you, Alpha—”

No sooner had the words escaped your lips, when Dean rolls you back underneath him. But this time, he guides you onto your stomach, then raises up your hips, until you’re on your hands and knees. You catch your breath as you regain your bearings, shooting an incredulous smile over your shoulder at Dean. He smirks back at you, but his gaze is intense, his pupils darkened with the alpha inside him. 

Still, he soothes a hand down your back and steadies you with a hold on your hip. You feel him slot himself behind you, guiding his cock at your entrance. His chest presses hotly against your back.

“Last chance, Omega,” he says, his voice tight with restraint.

You look back at him again over your shoulder, your mouth threatening to frown. You reach back and sink your fingers into his hair with a sharp tug. “Do it.”

He sinks into you with one smooth plunge. It’s a relief for both of you, your mingled moans echoing in the near silence. All that’s left is the sound of your quickening breaths, of skin against sweat-slick skin as you move together.

Dean brushes your hair away from your neck. He kisses and licks his way along your bare shoulder, and finally the back of your neck. You’re trembling by the time his lips find the sensitive flesh of your mating gland. It echoes with the pulsing from your core as he continues to drive into you.

“Alpha,” you gasp on reflex. You squeeze his arm; he has it wrapped tight around your middle. Your pleasure builds ever closer to that crescendo, especially as his thrusts become ragged, at an angle that zips delicious tingles through your core. “Close…just…I need…”

Dean isn’t so far gone. He hears you, and helps you, reaching his hand around to strum his fingers insistently on your clit, along with his final thrusts.

Finally, it tumbles you over. Your inner walls become impossibly tight around him as he draws out your second release—one that triggers his own. Dean groans into your ear; his knot swells and locks into place, and he spends himself deep inside you. He pants hot against your neck, but even though he fastens his lips there, he hesitates, once again making you shudder. 

“Do it,” you repeat, in a coarse whisper. You’re close to tears. “Please. Want you, Alpha. Need you…”

Once again, he hears you.

His teeth sink into the back of your neck, making you cry out. But your pain is quickly overshadowed by a deepest pleasure, thrumming along with his.

 Afterward, Dean holds you in his arms. The warm glow of the fire paints your skin in its light, despite the utter darkness in the rest of the house. 

While you both wait for his knot to subside, you revel in the fact that you know he’s content. You can feel it through the newly formed bond. He traces random shapes in your skin, which still glistens with a fine sheen of sweat. The fire he stoked doesn’t help to cool you down, but you don’t care.

Nothing else matters but this. You turn your head toward him over your shoulder. He meets you there with a gentle kiss, much more gentle than any other you’ve shared before. It feels right. 

When he parts from you, he presses another kiss to your forehead. Then he leans back a little and sighs. You feel his thumb trace the raw flesh around the claiming mark on your neck. A small shiver runs through your body. Maybe on another day, you’ll mark him in return.

“It’s too damn late,” he says, breaking the silence. “You realize that right?”

You shoot him a frown. “Too late for what?”

“For me to let you go,” he says. 

His words both warm you and make you sad. Just how little does he think of himself?

“Dean,” you say, endeavoring to be patient. “You’re my true mate. Do you know how rare it is that we’ve actually found each other?”

Dean remains quiet.

“And after everything you’ve done for me,” you add, “how can I not think you’re a good man? How can I not think this is right?”

He seems to consider your question. His gaze briefly falls, then meets your eyes again.

“You don’t know me that well,” is his answer, with a wry turn of his lips. 

You reach back to caress his cheek. “Then tell me. Tell me about, um…tell me about how you became a hunter. From your dad’s journal, I got the sense that it’s a family thing.”

A vendetta, you wanted to say, but you keep that thought inside.

Dean chuckles, dropping another kiss onto your shoulder. You feel the pleasurable rasp of his stubble.

“Yeah, more like a family business,” he says. 

He tells you why John Winchester started writing in that journal in the first place. Dean explains it in his own words, of what his family was before and after a demon broke into his brother’s nursery. Your heart continues to break for him, over and over, the more story he tells. Your shock can only reach new heights when he tells you about angels and demons and everything in between. 

There are moments where he pauses, needing the time to find his words. He’s talked for so long that his knot finally softens, allowing you to withdraw from him, just to turn in his arms and be able to see his face. He bundles you in the blankets to keep you warm, but he also keeps you close, with a loose arm around your waist as he continues. 

You sense that he’s not telling you everything. How could he? A lifetime of blood and wins and incredible losses; family gained, and family lost, endless saves, and so many near misses. You listen with rapt attention (and a lot of shock) to everything he can share, but your heart twinges when you see how he struggles to talk about his mother’s most recent death. Then his best friend Cas. 

You realize that this man, for all his self-deprecation, is a hero. More so than you already knew.

“After the whole Chuck thing was done, I thought we’d just…go back to status quo. Me and Sam against the world, you know?” Dean says. He gives a rueful smile. “Then Sammy tells me he knocked up his mate.”

You smile. “You’re happy for him though.”

“Course I am,” Dean nods. “He never thought he’d get to have all that. A badass chick who can keep him on his toes, a house, the kid, the whole damn thing. He’s downright respectable again.”

His brotherly pride and his humor are tinged with something else though. You think you begin to understand. His losses have weighed him down, leaving him aimless and living in that in between, not unlike the ghosts he used to hunt. You know the feeling. 

You thread your fingers with his, earning his attention. 

“You can have that too, you know,” you say. “I mean, I don’t want to skip ahead, but I feel like things are going well here, despite the whole busted ankle thing.” 

Dean slowly smiles, shaking his head. He brings your hand up to his lips. 

“Okay, enough about my Hallmark movie life. What about you?” he asks. 

So you tell him. 

You two continue to share and explore, both in words and with your bodies, until morning comes. 

It’s another week in the cabin before Dean insists on helping you down the mountain. Your ankle has gotten a little better, but at this point, you need to see a doctor. It takes a couple of days, going as slow as you need to. He ends up carrying you for most of the way anyway. You tell him over and over that he doesn’t have to, but your alpha is stubborn. 

Once he gets you back to the city, you two take a shuttle to the nearest hospital. X-rays are taken, and you get a new cast for your officially fractured ankle. At the very least, you don’t need surgery. You’re able to call your mom from there and let her know where you’ve been, that you’re all right, and best of all…that you’ve found your mate. 

You cry along with her on the phone, this time for a good reason. The best reason. 

When you’re eventually released from the hospital, Dean picks you up in a sleek, black Chevy that has your eyes wide. 

He grins at the look on your face. “Hey, sweetheart. Come meet my Baby.” 

He parks the car and keeps the heater running while he comes around to you in swift strides. He takes your crutches and slides them into the backseat, then helps you into the passenger seat. 

“It’s beautiful, but my God, how old is this thing?”

“She. She’s a she.”

“Oh, pardon me,” you say in amusement. “Do I have some competition here?”

Dean gives you a teasing smirk. “Well, technically, she’s been with me a lot longer than you.” 

You scoff incredulously. He laughs and takes your hand, pressing a kiss into your palm. You discreetly study him and marvel at how much lighter he seems. You don’t know how much is because of this, what your hand in his symbolizes, and how much is because he’s reunited with something important to him. 

“It’s okay, Omega mine,” he says, with a measure of desire in his eyes. “From now on, you’re my priority.”

Your spine prickles with the same arousal you can feel from him through the bond. You lean across the way and share a thorough kiss. 

Until a horn honks loudly from behind. You both jolt, but Dean’s face falls into annoyance. He shoots up a choice finger at the car behind him in the rearview mirror. You laugh as he begins to peel out of the curved pick-up and drop-off zone in front of the hospital. 

“Where are we going, Dean?” you ask, still smiling in amusement. 

“Wherever we damn well please.” He turns to you with a hint of a smile reforming on his lips. “Want me to take you back home? We can sort out the logistics on, uh…well, this.”

You think about it. He poses a good idea, but at the same time, you’re not quite ready for this part of the adventure to end. 

“How long has it been since you’ve seen Sam?” you ask.

Dean blinks at your question. He whistles lowly. “About a year. Jesus, since my nephew was born.”

You smile and reach over, resting your hand on his thigh. 

“Let’s go see him, then,” you say. “I want to meet your family. Then you can meet mine.”

After that, you two can figure out the rest, like where to live, and how you’ll live. 

Dean raises a brow. “Really? That’s like, a thirteen-hour drive.”

You shrug. “I’ve always wanted to go on a real road trip. Can we get some food first though? I’m starving.” 

He laughs and nods as he stops the car at a red light.

“What do you know? A woman after my own heart,” he says. His amusement eases into a gentler smile the longer he stares at you. You smile back, and you give into the urge to lean in again, meeting your lips with his. He brushes your cheek tenderly with his thumb. 

“I know what this needs,” he says lowly. Your brows draw together in a silent question. 

He pulls away to reach into the side compartment along the driver door. He fishes out a cassette tape labelled Zeppelin IV. You bite your lip and try not to say anything smartassed.

Damn, this man is old school. 

He skips ahead until he finds Track 7, just as the light turns green. A melodious guitar riff fills the car as he turns onto the main road with your hand wrapped in his. 

Made up my mind to make a new start.

Going to California with an aching in my heart…

AN: And that's all, folks! 🥹 I truly hope you enjoyed Against the Wind!

Like I said in a recent update, I have more stories in store for you guys. January 3 will be Part 1 of Outlander -- sequel to The Honorable Choice -- a Western AU with Dean as our resident cowboy! I'll post a sneak peek on that one soon.~

But in the meantime, I hope you'll let me know what you thought of ATW! 💜💜

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[jaempanini]

☆ I fucking hate pasta

Jeno x Reader

Notes: established relationship and stuff whatever whatever I made this in like an hour please don't execute me from tumblr

Synopsis: You make pasta often, because you know that it's one of Jeno's favourite foods. Jeno never complains when you make him pasta, because he knows you love it. Plot twist: you both hate that shit 😔

Word count: 1.2k

You gently cut up the basil for the pasta sauce as a pot with water slowly begins to boil. You aren't sure when exactly you'd started cooking for Jeno, but what you do know is that you absolutely adore doing it. Jeno is always super appreciative, and nothing makes you happier than seeing his excitement whenever you place a plate of food down in front of him.

In fact, cooking for Jeno might be one of your favourite activities.

The only part that you can confidently say you despise about it, is that Jeno loves pasta. Not only does he love it, he is obsessed with it. Now, any other food would be okay, you aren't that picky. But pasta? Oh, you hate pasta. And it's heartbreaking, because you want to like it, you want to enjoy it with Jeno, but you just can't. You've tried, oh you've fucking tried alright, and you've concluded that pasta might be the worst food to ever grace this earth.

So almost every other evening you have to sit across from Jeno and miserably stuff your mouth with pasta and pretend that you aren't on the verge of tears. Romantic!

The water starts to boil, and your heart sits heavy in your chest as you salt it and then pour the pasta in, mixing it so that it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pot.

Just as you put the spoon down, you hear your front door unlock, and your brain reminds you that Jeno just came back from the gym, so it's most likely that he'll be extra hungry.

You turn around just as he stops in front of the kitchen entrance. He smiles at you and then his eyes briefly flit to the pot behind you. An unreadable expression settles on his face. "Pasta again?" he asks, looking at you curiously.

You nod, giggle and walk over to him, throwing your arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him. Jeno's hands instinctively find your waist, and he gently presses you closer to him. As you break apart, you move one of your hands to cup his cheek. Then, with all the sweetness in the world, you say, "You smell terrible. Please take a shower."

Jeno gasps in mock-offense and pulls you closer to him, to which you whine and playfully hit his chest. "Come oooon, you know damn well you don't smell like fresh flowers after the gym, go and shower!"

Jeno finally lets go of you and steps away. You immediately miss his touch, but you decide that this is for the greater good. The gym scent lowkey gives you toxic gas vibes.

"Fine," Jeno sulks, "but don't start eating dinner without me!"

"Wouldn't dream of it." You reply, and you know it's true, because if you were alone there'd be no way you would ever even think of putting pasta in your mouth.

Jeno kisses you on the cheek, before finally leaving to go take a shower.

You sigh, look back at the pot of pasta, and understand that you have to face your biggest enemy once again. For the sake of Jeno.

Jeno stands in the bathroom, leaning against the sink. The mirror is fogged up from the steam, and Jeno fights the urge to wipe it with his hand. He knows you hate the marks it leaves.

His phone is laying on the counter and his messages with Renjun are on the screen. Jeno reads over them at least ten times, particularly over Renjuns last text. "Jeno, you KNOW you don't like pasta, and you KNOW that Yn loves you. She would drop the pasta in a second if you told her you don't like it. Communication is important in these situations."

Jeno thinks about it. He's never really liked pasta. In fact, if he had to choose his least favourite food, it would probably be pasta. But he'd also hate seeing your upset expression if he told you he doesn't like it.

But Renjun is right. Communication is important, and Jeno knows you love him. Plus, if you get upset, he can always just say that it's a joke. Even if that'd mean eating pasta for the rest of his life.

When Jeno comes back to the kitchen, you've already set the table. Both of you sit down.

You nervously start to pick at your food, occasionally picking a piece of pasta up and putting it in your mouth. Every time you do, it feels like you're somehow demeaning yourself.

Jeno, across from you, also slowly starts to eat the pasta, washing each bite down with water.

Approximately five minutes pass before Jeno clears his throat. You look up at him, and he starts rambling.

"Yn... I- listen, I know that you really, really like pasta, and I'm grateful that you cook it for me so much, but I have to be honest... I don't really like it? By it I mean the pasta— I'm sorry, I didn't want to lie, but I knew how much you liked it, and I just didn't want you to be sad, because I know that you really like sharing your favourite things with me, and what sort of boyfriend would I be if I didn't like it too? A terrible one! Yn, I'm sorry, please don't break up with me, I love you, and I love your cooking— it's not you, it's the pasta. The pasta is torturing me every evening. I love being with you so much, but then I look down at my plate, and the fucking pasta is looking back at me."

You stare at him. Jeno visibly panics.

"I swear, you're the best thing to happen to me, but that pasta is the worst thing to happen to me. Every time I put pasta in my mouth an angel loses its wings. Every time it enters my digestive tract I feel my soul die a little. Also, pasta causes constipation!" Jeno finishes his ramble loudly.

You slowly put your fork down and sit up straight. Jeno prepares for the worst.

"So you're telling me..." You start, "... that you don't even like pasta?"

"I-I'm sorry... I... I don't..." Jeno hangs his head in shame.

"So you're telling me..." You continue, "... that I've been cooking pasta for nothing?"

Jeno immediately looks up at you and furrows his eyebrows. "What? No! You like pasta. You cook it because it's your favourite dish!"

You shake your head at him. "Nuh uh it's not! I cook it because it's YOUR favourite dish!"

Jeno stands up. "No! You LOVE pasta!"

You point at him and also stand up. "No, YOU love pasta!"

You both stare at each other before realisation dawns on you. Oh, fuck.

"Jeno... did you think I was making pasta because I like it?"

Jeno slowly shrugs and then asks, "Did... did you think I was eating it because I like it?"

"Yeah... I thought you loved pasta..."

"I don't really like pasta at all... Do you love pasta?"

"I fucking hate pasta."

"So, you're telling me that we've been eating pasta this whole time, thinking that the other one likes it?"

You sit down and whine, covering your face with your hands. "We are such dumbasses." You groan.

You hear Jeno giggle, and all of a sudden he's giving the top of your head a kiss. As you look up, you see him leaning back and also sitting down. "Do you wanna order Chinese?" He asks, looking up at you expectedly. You nod, and give a sigh of relief.

Pasta may have won the battle, but you've won the war.

Notes: I pooped this outta my ass😍 if it sucks dont come for me im a poor village boy trying to feed my 15 siblings by selling hay at the farmers market and cleaning shoes... writing is just this poor village boys hobby 😔 LISTEN IM FALLING OFF MY GAME I DONT EVEN KNOW ENGLISH!!!! THIS POOR VILLAGE BOY LIVES IN AN ABANDONED SHACK IN SIBERA!!!! I MINE COAL EVERY OTHER DAY AND SELL IT FOR PENNIES!!!!!!!!

[littlemisssquiggles]

Why did no one tell me about the little “omake” chapters of DandaDan?

I was today years old when I learned the existence of these little extra omake or bonus chapters of Dandadan that expand on what’s going on with some of the other DanDandan characters like the Aira and Evil Eye Jiji one for example.

I thought it quite cute that Evil Eye cared enough about Aira to help her with getting her old friends to start talking to her again. That was actually oddly sweet of him.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the Evil Eye might secretly have a widdle crush on Aira. Doesn’t have to be true. I mean it’s just me spitting here.

But I’d be lying if Evil Eye crushing on Aira is definitely feeding into my thoughts on Aira and Jiji eventually being a couple.

I DO LIKE the Jijira ship. I mean Dandadan got me wracking up new ships to love like Uno cards with each new arc.

Already I’m Team Momokarun - obviously. Otherwise why am I even here if not to suffer at the hands of Yukinobu Tatsu as he proceeds to write the most beautiful shoujo romance love story disguised as a shonen battle anime that the world has ever seen and taking his sweet ass time doing it too. That magnificent romantic bastard.

---

I’m Team Jijira - I just think they’re NEAT okay? Our secondary BAKAS IN LOVE potential couple next to Momokarun.

No seriously, I think these two can actually work really, REALLY well together if Aira would just come to her senses of seeing that Okarun is OBVIOUSLY in love with Momo and NOT her, get over him and redirect her interest to the guy who is actually always by her side more than Okarun. Meaning Jiji.

As for Jiji and where he stands on love and romance. To all the people who keep saying that Jiji is in LOVE with Momo, I raise you one important question? Where? Where is this love you keep insinuating that Jiji has for Momo?

Believe me, I have watched the anime. I have read the manga up to date and all I’ve seen so far is a good boy who just simply cares very deeply for his childhood friend and is very protective of her. Nothing more.

I mean Aira is more obvious with her feelings for Okarun than Jiji is for Momo.

I dunno man. The Momiji ship and its shippers is giving me Zutara from Avatar vibes. Ya’ll up in here painting this magnificent love story between these two characters and telling everybody who would listen about it but when you actually read the ACTUAL canon content, there is nothing to insinuate anything like that at all.

Then again, I might just be biased because even IF Jiji DID in fact have a crush on Momo … that means shit because WE KNOW Jiji will NEVER end up with Momo BECAUSE SHE IS IN LOVE WITH OKARUN AND HE LOVES HER TOO!

Not unless Tat-Tat writes an arc where there’s an alternative universe/ reverse time line type shit where Momo ended up with Jiji instead of Okarun due to weebly wobbly, timey wimey stuff.

And now thanks to Aira omake chapter with the Evil Eye, I have more reasons to believe that Jijira could be a possibility. Either way, my Jijira shipping heart has been fed.

---

I’m Team Vaminta: or Kintola? Whatever the official Vamola x Kinta ship is called. Doesn’t matter. Vamola is (literally) a queen and Kinta is her king. Nuff said!

My goat and baby girl deserve each other!

---

And finally; I’m Team Rinuma - yes, yes, I KNOW Rin and Zuma have yet to actually officially interact in the story but how can I NOT ship them prematurely. The girl with gravity powers making people float and the boy with the umbrella? C’mon it’s like poetry. The ship practically writes itself even if Tat-Tat hasn’t gotten there yet. I see the vision and I’m embracing it while I can; dagnabbit!

---

So yeah, those are my current favourite Dandadan ships. Returning to the omakes, I also enjoyed the Chiquitta one.

Did not know Chiquitta was attending school on Earth. I mean it would make sense since his father is currently working on Earth so that Chiquitta can get all the milk he can get to keep himself healthy and strong. Yeah makes perfect sense actually.

Loved the chapter showing Chiquitta protecting his classmates from older bullies. Like father, like son. Chiquitta got hands man! That’s our favourite kappa son!

Also Chiquitta imitating Jiji of all people when interacting with a girl is insanely cute. Of all the people for Lil Chiqui to copy, why Jiji of all people? Then again, better him that Kenta, am I right?

There’s also speculation now that the little girl that suspects Chiquitta to be an alien is actually related to Okarun.

Like she’s his little sister and that Okarun comes from a large family where possibly some of the background characters we’ve probably overlooked throughout the story may allegedly be related to our favourite Yokai speedster.

Personally I’m down for this theory since it’ll actually confirm Okarun as being from Earth instead of my crazy theory of him secretly being a member of a humanoid alien race who was abandoned on Earth at birth and raised by a human family or someting like that. .

Because we have yet to glimpse into what Okarun’s home life is as yet, it’s got me wondering if Okarun even has a family. I mean surely he has to have a home because in spite being a loner/outcast for most of his school life, Okarun is always well-clothed, well fed and stocked up on occult-related magazines.

So outside of the alien heritage theory, it wouldn’t surprise me if Okarun actually comes from a pretty wealthy family and the reason why he’s always seen ready and flexible to go off on his own without his parents wondering about his whereabouts is probably because Okarun’s parents/caretakers are probably living a life where they’re never home with him.

Perhaps Okarun’s parents work overseas and the reason for Okarun’s deep fascination with the occult is cause its related to his parents’ occupation.

Maybe his parents are archaeologists or astrologists or a pair of people who study these kind of things and often have to travel abroad for long periods of time while Okarun is left alone; unable to accompany them due to him attending school in Japan.

I mean, it would make sense why we haven’t seen them as yet in the story. To me, Okarun living alone because his parents work overseas sounds more plausible than them secretly being alien.

Perhaps the little girl who suspects Chiquitta of being an alien doesn’t necessarily have to be someone related to Okarun. Perhaps she’s his neighbour or something. Or maybe she doesn’t even know Okarun and is just someone related to Chiquitta’s side of the story.

On the subject of aliens, it would actually be pretty funny if Okarun’s parents were another pair of refugee aliens who have been living on Earth for years and thus Okarun is secretly an alien who was born and raised on Earth.

Like his parents brought him up on the occult to desensitize him to the existence of the alien race. Their race; although they never revealed the truth of their alien lineage to Okarun, wanting him to grow up believing himself to be just a “normal human boy on Earth” when he actually isn't.

I mean that’s another theory for the pool of possibilities.

If Okarun parents are indeed secretly aliens then imagine them being Ken Takakura fans as much as Momo is because his movies were the first thing they were exposed to once they came to Earth and thus they decided to take the surname of Takakura and named their Earth-born “alien” son, Okarun after him.

It would honestly be insane if there comes a time when Momo gets to meet Okarun’s parents and the first thing they bond over is their shared love for Ken Takakura.

That would actually be insanely cute.

Overall, these are just little headcanons. For all I know, there’s probably no twist to Okarun at all.

He could really just be a regular guy who, despite everything that life had thrown at him, lucked out and found the love of his life and the literal girl of his dreams when she just happened to be passing by on a bad day and noticed him for the first time.

That really could be just it.

Then again; who really knows.

We really have to see what Tat-Tat has cooking up in that noggin of his for this ongoing love story he's made.

The most I will say is that the longer the story drags on with us readers never seeing or knowing anything about Okarun’s homelife, the more this squiggle meister will start to believe that he’s secretly an alien until it’s debunked by the actual story.

~LMS (2025)

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

While I'm on a kick of being really open about my sexuality, lets just start throwing shit out there and seeing how people interact with it

People who have followed me from the beginning will know that most of my partners get some quippy little nickname assigned to them in place of a name for the internet, and I want to name that this actually DOESN'T come from where might think (or rather it's still infosec, but it goes beyond "don't post the actual names of people you fuck online"

In the scene I have most cultural context for, people often came to group play sessions with an alias (I have one too lol, and it's the only name I ever introduce myself to partners as, mine has been static for going on a decade now). You would introduce yourselves to playmates under your alias, and often you would continue to use it as a marker of in-scene vs out-scene topics of conversation (e.g. sometimes people will talk about their aliases in third person as a whole entity with their own motivation, life, and power, my mom used to talk about "her friend [redacted 1]" if she ever needed to be able to reference a thing without naming explicitly that she and [redacted 1] were the same person, and there are friends of hers who still call her exclusively by that name in private because they have loved each other for going on 50 years now and [redacted 1] is still their partner and love even if mom isn't and vice versa).

So for example, on here, I will refer to any metamours by the plural-inclusive term The Metamour with very little discussion of which one or how many there are or whatever. But in person, I call one metamour [redacted 2] and another metamour [redacted 3] because they were introduced to me by their aliases first, and I genuinely DID NOT KNOW THEY'RE ACTUAL NAMES until after we had become real friends lol.

Anyway, Youtube Boy doesn't know that his nickname here is Youtube Boy, and that's not his alias in scene, nor his actual name, but critically these terms allow me to side step early uncertainties around terms like "boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate/etc" which may imply a degree of romantic entanglement I'm genuinely uncomfortable with. On occasion during this round of posting, I have gone "well it's CLEARER tho" and tried to type out "my boyfriend" about one of my current partners (partner does not carry this same issue for me, as I have always carried dual connotations of Romantic Oartner and Play Partner, so I feel no discomfort/cognitive dissonance with it's implications) and every time I do it I physically cringe away from the screen and delete it. Maybe he wouldn't feel the same way, and hell maybe I won't forever either! But I have almost never been willing to use a word like boyfriend without fairly explicit conversations about commitment, meaning to each other, and boundaries that just don't come up all the time in play partnerships for me you know?

Anyway, what I'm saying here is that sometimes the point of being a slut is to get to be every iteration of yourself that you love being independently from each other in a space that adequately facilitates that iteration of you. I like the people I play with to each get absolutely all of me that is available to them, and I **LIKE** that this often means I get to spend time as different important aspects of self, wholly and without self-doubt or minimization.

And hell, sometimes I even name the iteratioms and let them become something bigger than just a "version of me" and that can be fun too.

[chiasaaa]

—i’ll be your model

itoshi sae x f! reader

summary: dating a fashion designer has its pros and cons the same way dating a famous football player has its own. however, sae realized that you haven’t used one particular pro yet in your three years of dating.

warning: english is not my first language. apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors.

— itoshi sae is the kind of man whom his lover could describe as selfless. contrary to popular opinion, getting to know sae proves that point pretty well. sae will always come to your beck and call. he will provide you things you both need and want without you having to ask. he will most definitely drop whatever it could be he’s doing if it meant tending to your requests.

it already nearly happened one time when you called thirty minutes before an important match, telling him that you need to go to your gynecologist for your yearly check-up. it wasn’t anything serious, but he meant every fibre of his being when he said he’s going to drive all the way back just to accompany you.

if it weren’t for you threatening to lock the doors of your home from him, he would have ditched the game altogether and leave billions of fans disappointed along with his team. it was a good thing he ended up with someone like you.

someday, the whole world will thank you for it.

call him a lovesick fool, but itoshi sae will always and forever be hopelessly in love with you. he doesn’t mind if you want to go to greece in three hours; he’d already booked the earliest flight there. it indeed happened when you both sat in your living room one valentine’s day and you joked about making spontaneous plans like flying out to greece just to have a moonlit dinner with the temple of artemis in view. sae hadn’t known you were joking because he fished his phone out quick to do whatever it is you kept blabbering on.

candlelit dinner? check.

romantic violin music? check.

private villa overlooking a beautiful view? check.

economy tickets? he booked first-class.

and of course, he had long prepared his gift and your five-flower bouquet. you weren’t one for big bouquets as you loved preserving them in frames, and so you requested that if he were to give you such, he will have to make do with only five main flowers.

doesn’t mean he can stop putting blind boxes in them, though. you’re quite the menace when it comes to it.

sae had continuously provided you all your wants and needs, yet the one thing he finally realized is that you never asked for any of it.

much like today, as you’re earnestly looking through portfolios of famous celebrities who proposed to be your brand’s model. you did think that it’s about time for you to expand your model pool (you’re in it for the money) and you searched high and low for the perfect person to adorn your new creations.

specifically, the men’s product line.

sae picks up one of the photos you have scattered on the countertop, realizing that it was none other than isagi yoichi.

“athletes are part of your options?” he asks, turning the page to you. you didn’t even bother looking up as you responded back.

“yep, i’m looking through other athletes i can reach out to as an endorser.”

weird. isn’t he an athlete?

why didn’t you ask him first?

sae sets his teacup down its designated saucer, breathing in and out shortly to prepare himself for yet another confrontation. he’s still in the process of being more honest with you, when it comes to how he feels about certain things happening within your relationship. sae always tries his very best for you, and that includes biting back his usually sharp tongue because he knows how sensitive you can get.

“i assume you have strict requirements in finding one?”

“not really. i just need to look for someone who i can say is the one for the job,” you finally look up, smiling tiredly, “the same way i saw it when i looked at you.”

he must be dying early because the way you said it might as well make him combust. his heart pounded against his rib violently, wondering what you meant behind such words.

you knew he had fallen in love with you since you kicked a ball straight to his head (accidentally), but when was this time you’ve known he’s the one with a simple gaze?

as heart-fluttering as it is to think about, it’s not the current matter at hand. he couldn’t help but frown a little at the realization that he wasn’t the first person you thought of when you wanted to have a celebrity model your work.

he’s pretty famous, isn’t he?

not only that, you have always been so vocal about how he’s so handsome that the model industry’s lucky he chose to play football as his career path. that has to account for something, right?

as a fashion designer, you have one of the most keen eyes when it comes to potential models.

you’ve seen it in him.

“what do you mean by that?”

“exactly as it means, querido.” you hum, already back to work. you take a pencil from the counter and used it to tie your hair effortlessly, a few strands falling to frame your beautiful face. if it wasn’t for the fact that this is a big deal to him, sae would have long been hypnotized by your beauty.

“why don’t you use me, then?” he said it in a way that showed how upset he actually is about the situation. you couldn’t have possible missed that, and you really didn’t. you look up from your work, hiking your specs right up your nose with the joint of your finger.

“what do you mean?”

“exactly as it means, hermosa.”

you snort. of course, sae used your own words against you. though, you couldn’t say that you didn’t expect that from him. sae is too selfless for his own good, and as his partner, you’re not about to let him sabotage himself with this ridiculous adventure of over-generosity. you didn’t even know it was a thing until you met him.

as much as you loved that he will sacrifice anything and everything for the people he cares for, you must admit that it bothers you a little. that is why you took control of what you can and avoided his involvement as much as possible.

“i can’t possibly do that to you.” was your response after a short while, propping an elbow on the granite to rest your chin upon the palm of your hand. you twist the stool you’re sitting on to face him, taking his hand with your free one. “i’m not about to use you for my own benefit, querido. i didn’t date you just to have your face on my brand and milk you.”

“but you’re not,” sae raises your locked hands, planting a gentle kiss on the back of your palm. “i want to do this for you. honestly, i’m a little upset that i wasn’t the first person you thought of.”

you chuckle. “didn’t you hear me earlier? i said i’m looking for someone who will make me think ‘he’s the one!’ the same way you made me think that.”

the confusion soon replaced by embarrassment in the form of tinted cheeks and reddening ear tips had you pause for a little.

“did you take that in the romantic context?” giggling, you lean closer to him and ruffled his hair. “you’re my blueprint right now as i searched through these files. i was looking for someone like you.”

then, as if there’s a sudden change in the wind, sae regained his confidence and fired back at you.

“there’s no one else like me.” he takes your chin between his fingers. “so use me, hermosa.”

and you gave in the same way you allowed him to kiss you long and deep, telling you in every way possible that he loves you even after the universe collapses.

itoshi sae is a selfless man, yet you didn’t know that he’s only ever like that when it comes to you.

it didn’t matter if it was spontaneous trips, ditching big games, or standing in front of the camera for you.

whatever it is, as long as it’s you, then he will do everything in his power to make it come true.

[luckyjunehenry]

hi! (not) local anxious teen thinking about the future and very very worried ...

I look up to you a lot and I'm curious if you have any advice about being in the world?

it doesn't have to be anything groundbreaking Im just looking for words to put in my brain :)

ok yay im in the mood to type a lot because my new keyboard protecter makes my typing sound nice. here is my advice for being In The World as someone who was SO scared:

become a Regular somewhere. Coffee shops and libraries r fantastic spots for this. first of all, it's great to have a place away from home to work on schoolwork if you're in school. meeting other Regulars/employees and forming friendships is totally possible, but even if you don't get particularly close to anyone, familiar acquaintances are far more valuable than we realize!

be really mindful about your substance use, especially for the first year of living on your own. Even if you're only using at parties or shows or whatever, that's teaching your brain that in order to have fun and be social, you Need a substance. after struggling with substances in high school, I was completely sober for my freshman year of college. I think this is one of the best choices I made for myself at that age!

you probably haven't found The One yet and that Is GOOD ! ! even if you have a romantic partner you feel really confident about, be sure to form friendships with people completely separate from your partner. even if you and your partner are together 4 life, it's important to have your own social sphere!

IT IS WORTH DECORATING YOUR ROOM EVEN IF YOU WILL ONLY BE THERE FOR ONE YEAR ! ! ! it is NEVER too late to decorate. Yeah it's a hassle to move everything, but it increases my happiness so so much to be in a space that feels like home to me. I think its especially important to do this if you end up living in a dorm!

if you haven't established a line of credit yet, it's a great idea to get on that soon if ya can. My first credit card was a Chime credit builder which basically functioned as a debit card. I couldn't spend any money that I didn't already have. It honestly doesn't even matter if you're using it constantly, just try to make like one purchase per month or so! One of the major factors of a credit score is the length of your credit history. Even though I didn't use a credit card much until recently, my score is pretty decent because I have a credit history that's around 3 years old.

eat. seriously. so many people I know struggle so much with their mood and health and its largely due to not having a regular food schedule. it's way harder than you expect it to be!

everything is always gonna be awkward. you have to decide whether you want awkwardness to rule your life or if you can face awkwardness regularly and live far more freely and awesomely. what's the worst that's gonna happen?? you ask someone to hang out and they say no?? do we need to call the ambulance now????

that's all my basic Young Adult advice. a framework I've been trying to live by lately is like

what would I do if I were a kid but had all the resources and freedom I do now? (Sometimes this means playing at the park for hours, drawing, even buying a silly toy)

what would I do if I were a dog with human rights and resources? (choose whatever animal suits you best. This is just a fun way to live and helps me go on more walks)

also you're allowed to eat ice cream every day. twice per day, even.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!!! It's scary but it's also awesomer than you can imagine!!!!

[stromuprisahat]

An icon, not an instigator

Six of Crows- Chapter 35 (Leigh Bardugo)

I've been thinking about this passage in connection to LB's words on Darklina, not quite able to put into words why it didn't sit well with me. First the quote, courtesy of @aleksanderscult :

I've analysed what Aleksander meant by this in the reply mentioning said interview. To put it shortly- I don't think he meant he expects Alina to manage his behaviour. It goes against his characterisation he'd let anyone control him in such way. He merely expressed his willingness to listen to her, should she disagree with him due to her moral stance.

LB herself puts her issue with certain tropes into two points:

Women shouldn't be expected to act as men's babysitter. He should change by himself.

Women don't have to be good. They, themselves could be even worse.

Her logic is faulty in several places.

First of all a woman acting as "a healer" as LB calls it doesn't necessarily mean she's somehow responsible for her partner's behaviour. It's merely about her influence helping him to overcome trauma or other effects harmful experience had on him. I'd even argue it's closer to what Matthias describes above, than whatever could Alina offer the Darkling. Ever.

You'd need specific qualities Alina never possessed. Empathy, caring, some amount of selflessness... What's the point of "addressing" a notion that doesn't have a leg to stand on?

While I agree that "a man should be able to better himself on his own" Helnik passage above has an important weak spot. A man should be able to better himself on his own without such change being significantly tied to a single person, especially if he's "rewarded" for his progress by romantic relationship with said person.

Genuine change should be driven by recognition of one's faults and resulting desire to become a better person, not a promise of possible relationship dangling in front of them. One that would be otherwise impossible.

While Matthias specifically happens to be a paragon of virtue, and once The Realization™ strikes, he never really falters, never tries to return to his old beliefs, ordinary people tend to struggle and doubt new ways less beneficial to them personally. Especially if their motivation happens to be external.

What happens when the one, who inspired his change is no longer around? What if they break up, his old ties severed and new ones either all business or acquaintances made through the ex-partner? Or are we ignoring the possibility that losing the benefits such change produced could lead the man to slip back to harmful patterns of behaviour and thinking as a way to justify one's failure to maintain the relationship or straight up revenge for ending it?

I'm sure no man would ever even think about that. Who'd be so petty or simply lost?!

This is why Malyen's change in R&R isn't believable. He "realized" his coercion led Alina to suicide attempt instead of expected eternal faithfulness, so he went through 180° turn of his behaviour. It's too sudden and too "perfect". Merely a changed tactics of abuse we shouldn't mistake for genuine betterment. "Look what you were willing to abandon!"

Matthias' case could be roughly fixed in this passage- don't make it all about Nina. Have him remember questioning drüskelle philosophy when Brum proudly showed him the laboratory. Or when he watched the broken body of a boy, who was ~someone's~ friend- make that the impulse to help Nina bury him. Have him remember seeing other Grisha as human, so his faith in their humanity doesn't seem so sudden and pussy-blinded.

Malyen's case would be much more complicated. His vices ~targeted~ Alina specifically. They were never openly admitted, described as such, he was never properly called out on them, certainly not by Alina herself. His doubtful development happened mostly off page in a way resembling just another kind of manipulation, and it didn't take long for it to "earn" him EXACTLY what he always wanted pre-change. He doesn't seem to mind the negative impacts of it any more than he did Alina's failing health previously.

To sum up once again- yes, women shouldn't be those to "fix" their man, but not because it's just wrong to expect them to do men's work, but because true change has to come from the inside. Others can help you realize there are "better" ways, but YOU're the one, who has to change the way you think. (Unless we're in Dead Dove territory, exploring all sorts of manipulation.)

Secondly it's kinda ironic reading LB's take on "Woman's rights AND wrongs", considering her strong tendency to moralize, shame and punish for any seeming "vice". Sure, she eventually changes the tune to "Women can do no wrong.", but that's equally stupid and harmful as the above mentioned Victorian take.

The way the books are written viewed through the lens of the interview turns likely a well-meant sentiment into the notion woman's some passive idol to worship by laying change at her feet, which wow- double creepy. Certainly more empowering than intentionally influencing or even FORCING the man to adapt to her requirements.

[mothman-can-write]

heya! i also saw your tag about aro maria and ace natasha. i'm very fascinated about that. what's some of your takes on that dynamic? i've personally leaned towards ace/aspec, but it's always interesting to me when someone who identifies along there but more into sex or adverse to romance. just shows how diverse that spectrum is!

This is such a fun question and I'm going to preface it by saying these HCs are purely based on vibes and my own projection as someone on the aroace spec. I like to play around with their sexualities a lot bc it makes for interesting dynamics, but I'll stick to my thoughts about them being aspec for now haha. I can't promise this will be coherent and make sense but I'll try my best!

This got pretty long, so I'll put the rest of this essay under the cut:

A lot of my opinions of marvel characters are influenced by the comics, especially for Maria since we were given so little of her in the MCU. She has an interesting vibe to her that just... sort of screams being entirely uninterested in anything romantic. She's a very private person anyway, but never expresses interest in wanting romance, but she still wants so desperately to keep those she cares about safe. It's not that she doesn't care, because she does, a WHOLE lot. She just cares about everyone in a very platonic, dutiful way. And yet, somehow, she gives off the biggest lesbian vibes in the world. Therefore, aromantic lesbian. It also somehow just makes sense to me that casual physical relationships would be easier for her to keep as a crucial member of an international secret organisation. Outside of her own team who is she going to date? She goes to a nice bar and she drinks a scotch and she waits for the nearest femme to take her home only to disappear in the middle of the night. Satisfy some urges, and prove to herself that she isn't an evil monster to the naked eye, two birds one stone. There's no real evidence to her having any sexual relationships (that i can think of anyway) but the vibes just sort of work to me, or at least that she would have them. Sometimes i think she's too much of a loser to ever actually go home with anyone. So, in that respect, I can also see her as being aroace too. She just generally has more important things to worry about and isn't necessarily interested in things she deems so personal and unimportant.

I wish I could beam the vibes in my head directly to you because I'm doing a terrible job of explaining them with words, but generally Maria comes off as a very cold character who actually cares very deeply about those around her and that can hit home for a lot of aspec misconceptions and stereotypes. As far as I know, she's never been in a relationship either, which for marvel comics is practically an olympic feat. In one comic she says Natasha is the person she trusts most in the world because shes lonely too, and that shes the only person that scares her. what is that if not lesbianism aspec solidarity

As for Natasha, well we all know what her past is like, and I don't think it's a stretch to say that she might have some trauma around it. But honestly I just like to think she would always be asexual bc it's fun. She's really the character I have less evidence for, but I'm a sucker for the trope of a character who is sexualised by everyone around her actually being a big softy who would rather cuddle. That woman could count on her hands how many times she's been hugged in her life, I think she'd truly get the most out of a relationship where she is shown innocent affection. She's been treated as a physical asset her entire life and I think she deserves to be wined and dined outside of that. Maybe its just me trying to break her free and projecting at the same time but let that woman be the little spoon.

IDK man, she just gives me vibes. She's a cutie. She's a hopeless romantic thrown into a world of people that think she's hot. She's been forced to live up to a role that feels like an act, and is only able to play it so well because none of it has felt real from the start. Sexuality has always been a game, and she's so good at playing because she's always been outside of it. The second someone shows her genuine romance she doesn't know what to do with herself. She likes to give people flowers.

In terms of dynamics together, I don't actually tend to mix them together in this way, I usually pick one or the other because the fic is focussed on them having a functional relationship. I do, however, think Maria would be very accomodating of Natasha if they were in a relationship with this specific dynamic, because as characters they have a very similar need of wanting to be loved for who they are as a person. And to Maria any sexual drive is always going to be second to a real human connection for the first time in her life.

Honestly, the dynamic should be great for angst but I can't find a way to make it work because theyre very similar characters to me. Even if Natasha needs someone to love her whole heartedly for herself, someone to love her innocently outside of her body, Maria is still going to give that to her. It might not be romantically, but she is desperate for human connection anyway. The worst I can think of is that Maria becomes frustrated with the fact that Natasha wants more from her, whilst not being able to tell her the full extent of her own attraction, so theyre both stuck at a bit of a stalemate. Suffering in silence through their friendship because they both want something the other isnt able to give and both of them are too soft hearted to ever force it

I think that's about all that I've got in the tank right now, so I hope that answered some of the curiosities you had! Let me know if you have any more specific questions, because i'm always happy to talk about them :)

[cawslew]

ahhhh thanks for entertaining my yapping and adding your insights onto them. i really like your takes and explanations on them. it hits things that i never thought about. feel free to disregard this one because it feels a little less coherent. related to dazai being one of atsushi's motivators, it kind of hit me that dazai is one of the first people atsushi saved. maybe this is a misinterpretation of their first meeting, but, turning off the comedic lens, it's actually an insane scenario. a starving, societally clueless orphan musters all his strength to swim and hulk an unconscious person back to shore. the inherent and somewhat foolish compassion of such an act to still give when you basically have nothing left comically is lost on atsushi despite performing such an action because he's so embedded in his self-hatred and lack of confidence. it's honestly made even better by the fact that dazai has ability nullification powers, so he cannot passively rely on the tiger's strength (although i am unsure if he was able to do that prior). he is actively burning what remaining energy he should be using to find food or shelter to save someone he believed needed help. i think this action is what immediately takes dazai to atsushi to which dazai repays by providing him a support system to navigate his new reality and the weight of trust and faith that atsushi wants to uphold. it's a little sad though, due to atsushi's lack of confidence, that he kind of seems to believe dazai made an arbitrary decision to save him rather than him being deserving of such care, and maybe that plays into atsushi's view of dazai as a savior. it probably doesn't help that dazai both does and doesn't want to be understood. but, maybe the silver lining about it is that it plays into why he tries to understand dazai and, subsequentially, recognizes how flawed and maybe 'human' he is. like how atsushi helps validate dazai's capacity to care and be "good," dazai validates helps atsushi validate his own self-worth and belief in his own actions.

No, no, this is actually so coherent! And I'm really glad that you're sharing it. I'm always super happy to respond and talk about those two (or, to be fair, any BSD characters, since I love talking about how I and others interpret them as a whole or in relationships, whether platonic, romantic, or something totally different).

And yeah, if you actually step back from the comedic lens and look at what’s really happening in that first meeting, it’s genuinely wild. Atsushi’s just been kicked out of the orphanage, he’s on the brink of starvation, and yet he can’t let Dazai drown. Though, it’s worth pointing out that Atsushi wanted to leave him there at first, and when he does save him, his initial thoughts are about robbing him. Plus, let’s not forget that Atsushi is offended when Dazai casually admits he has no money.

I think it’s important to highlight those parts because they get overlooked a lot. People tend to remember that Atsushi saved Dazai and interpret it as this purely selfless act, but it’s more complicated than that. Sure, you could argue there’s some kindness there, but a lot of his actions in that moment come from his deep-seated self-worth issues. Atsushi’s been conditioned to believe that his value is tied to what he can do for others, that he’s less than worthless if he doesn’t contribute or help in some way. And I’ve said this before, but to me, Atsushi isn’t naturally kind as a personality trait—he’s kind by virtue. That kindness was beaten into him over time (at least, that’s how I interpret it).

Still, even at his lowest, Atsushi can’t completely suppress that unfiltered compassion. It’s just part of who he is, whether he recognizes it or not. Dazai ends up being the first person Atsushi saves, yet their first meeting is often overlooked by the fandom. But there are some key details that need to be addressed if we’re talking a bit canon-wise.

The fact is, Dazai knew from the start who Atsushi was. The meeting between the two was orchestrated. He admitted that to Hirotsu—that he recruited Atsushi specifically to complement Akutagawa's ability. He doesn’t really go into detail about their first meeting, but Kunikida does mention that Dazai suddenly jumped into the river, which, knowing him for as long as we did, it’s very easy to tell that he did it on purpose.

And that’s where the meeting actually gets even more fascinating. Dazai orchestrated the encounter, knowing full well who Atsushi was and the potential he had. This adds a layer of manipulation to the scene, but not in a malicious way. It does show how much Dazai is calculative and manipulative from the get-go. He was always playing the long game.

However, the brilliance of that scene lies in how genuine it feels on both ends, despite Dazai’s manipulation. Atsushi, barely clinging to life himself, chooses to save Dazai even though it’s the furthest thing from rational. Yes, Atsushi hesitates. Yes, his initial thoughts are about leaving or even robbing the unconscious man. But he still takes action. That act isn’t purely selfless; Atsushi has been conditioned to believe that his worth is tied to what he can do for others, making self-sacrificial choices almost second nature to him. It’s a survival mechanism born from years of abuse at the orphanage.

But despite the meeting between the two being totally orchestrated by Dazai pulling the strings, one shouldn’t just interpret it as completely devoid of sincerity. Dazai, as a character, is himself a contradiction. He’s a master manipulator, but he also deeply cares for the people he chooses to "invest" in (admit it or not). And, of course, Atsushi became one of those people.

For Atsushi, the encounter is unsettling. He doesn’t see himself as someone who deserves salvation or a second chance (he himself wanted to live out of spite in episode 1, with how he was talking about "showing them" that he can survive—of course, talking about the orphanage). When Dazai brings him into the ADA, Atsushi interprets it not as an acknowledgment of his worth but as a random act of charity. This feeds into Atsushi’s view of Dazai as a savior figure—someone who plucked him out of despair for reasons Atsushi can’t truly understand. Their dynamic is heartbreaking because Atsushi genuinely doesn’t believe he’s worthy of that care.

On Dazai’s end, there’s an interesting tension in how he interacts with Atsushi. While he’s quick to assign Atsushi missions and responsibilities, he also tends to avoid directly confronting Atsushi’s insecurities. Instead, he uses humor, teasing, and indirect guidance to nudge Atsushi toward growth. He doesn’t, however, see Atsushi as a tool to balance Akutagawa (as he does come to genuinely care for the other), but also as someone who could become a force for good. Dazai’s own issues and self-worth—his belief in his "inherent evil"—sometimes prevent him from expressing those thoughts openly, as it’s hard for him to be vulnerable (though he manages it every once in a while).

What’s fascinating is how this relationship challenges them both. Atsushi’s reverence for Dazai forces him to grapple with Dazai’s flaws and contradictions, which ultimately helps Atsushi see Dazai as a person rather than a pedestal. Meanwhile, Atsushi’s unwavering determination and raw compassion act as a quiet reminder to Dazai that goodness isn’t an abstract ideal, but something you choose again and again, no matter how messy or imperfect the process may be. (For what is kindness as a trait, if it is not practiced?)

I think I went a bit outside of what you were asking of me, but the thought kind of spiraled, haha... Also a little note that I also wanted to include but didn't know how. When it comes to Dazai and him wanting to be understood but also not. It's like Dazai walks into a room and leaves it open but before anyone can open it, he already build a brick wall between the room and the door, giving you clear message of "I don't want you" but also hoping, begging and craving for you to chip away at the wall, to break in.

[avatarrecom]

hai hai hai im back 😼

i hope everything’s been going well with you and that you’re drinking water and sleeping and all that jazz

basically, im always tired, no matter how much sleep i get and sleeping is one of my favorite pastimes

so i was thinking…poly recoms with chronically sleepy reader? possibly narcoleptic but such a valuable worker that the RDA can’t let them go? human or recom would be cool, doesn’t matter to me

take care of yourself pookie 🫶

Sleepy reader

HIII! I missed you!

I was going to write my book (I've officially started writing and I'm so exited!) But once I saw your asks, I just had to write this first. Also, I feel you, I'm always tired as well :( even if I get a full night sleep and my mom keeps nagging me that the best way to battle sleepiness is to get active and I'm just like 'mom I want to sleep' 😢

You take care of yourself too! 💙 and I hope you enjoy this!

Also, importent notice, I've noticed that I'm not really in the mood to write one-shots for the avatar fandom, but I'm 100% okay with doing headcanons, that's just easier for me. I hope you all don't mind!

Race and gender or reader not specified.

I saw some videos on tiktok about someone with POTS and she would just faint randomly and the people in the video would catch her and I can totally imagine that with the Recoms. (I am aware that being chronically sleepy and having POTS is very different but just go along with it)

Imagine you’re cleaning your weapon along with the rest of the squad and suddenly you’re so sleepy and you just start to nodding off and whoever is next to you notices and quickly catches you so you don’t hurt yourself. 

Ofcourse they’d be alarmed when your head suddenly drops, but they quickly realise that you’ve fallen asleep.

Que the fond chuckles echoing in the room.

They like it when you lean against them when you sleep, but if you climb into their laps and cuddle them… If they could fall more in love with you, they would.

Speaking of cuddles, two words… Cuddle parties.

Some of them, (Quaritch, Mansk, Lopez and possibly Z-dog and Walker) grumble about it, but they’d be the first to join you. 

When you fall asleep in your bed (or someone else's, it’s all the same to you) or on the couch, it's only a matter of time before you wake up because there is some kind of struggle going on between the guys which one of them gets to cuddle with you. Once they’ve finally decided, Walker and Z-dog are already on either side of you. Que the pouting and puppy eyes. 

Quaritch tries to order them away (like he often likes to pull rank, even in your relationship), so another argument ensues about keeping your work relationship and romantic relationship separate.

[lazylittledragon]

i honestly think part of the reason why my relationships always end horribly is because no amount of honey/baby/beautiful does ANYTHING for me but one time my friend told me i laugh like i'm getting paid for it and i've thought about that every single day of my life

[loving-jack-kelly]

jack race and crutchie have the kind of co-dependent friendship/brotherly relationship/love that only comes out of being each others' sole support systems during the worst times of their lives. they can read each others' minds. they know immediately when something is wrong. they will be so so mean to each other but the instant anybody else is mean to one of them all bets are off. they communicate in sentence fragments incomprehensible to anybody else. they each know and guard the others' secrets with the type of intensity usually only seen in secret societies. ride or die to the most literal degree possible.

[possamble]

Thank you for writing the (messy but neccessary) farcille breakdown. You handled it so wonderfully aaaaaaaah!! Like the other anon I was wondering how far "rock bottom" could get (because chapter 4 already felt pretty rock bottom) but. Yeah. That's pretty rock bottom, huh. The tragedy of loving someone but the other person not understanding <- this applies to both of them.

I think it was really neat how you flipped the question on who's reaching out to who with the academy flashback and the final scene with Namari, because... Marcille clinging onto Falin really is just a reversal of their academy days, isn't it? To everyone who met them after they reunited, it was always Marcille chasing after Falin, but to those who were at the magic academy, it was Falin chasing after Marcille. From picking flowers and berries to eat together, inviting Marcille out to see a play, and generally monopolizing her free time... I'm sure any of them would say the same thing as Namari, but in reverse. No wonder everyone thinks Marcille is just another friend to Falin. They weren't there to witness her pining /j. Idk!! I was rereading the chapter and the academy flashback girl was like "why do you hang off of Marcille so much" and I screamed to myself, "hey wait. HEY WAIT."

[yuripira4e]

if I see one more person saying they shipped Edwin and the cat king I’m just going to assume media literacy has died