#Romanian Folk Dancers

[alintalzin]

🎵+ Ivorie Vadua?

Again, thanks for the ask, @mihrsuri.

Ivorie Vadua is a ballet-dancer at the Dabrokie Opera House, although she has currently taken a leave of absence and returned to her hometown Shadowspring in the West of Jolant.

Ivorie is what the Northerners would call working-class, and she can read, but she cannot write.

Unlike Rowene February, who moved to Dabrokie, Ivorie came running, and refused to speak of what had driven her from her home and how her parents died. She still does, even to her friends. It is a secret she keeps to herself.

But now Ivorie has returned home, and she must face what lurks among the fields of corn on her family's land.

Ivorie is a quiet girl, with an accent that leans more towards the honey of the Southerners then the twang of the Westerners. When she talks she has a tendency to gesture with her hands, even when she is sitting still.

She does not have any friends in particular, but is on good terms with her fellow ballet - dancers, and the people of her hometown.

She has also been betrothed since before her parents died, although time will tell what becomes of that arrangement.

Another thing about Ivorie: she finds it hard to sleep at night, for fear of the images her mind might conjure from memory. She sleeps with her eyes open and the covers over her head, a candle burning by her bedside.

[mywifeleftme]

256: Maria Tănase // I

I Maria Tănase 1965, Electrecord

Maria Tănase’s Wikipedia entry repeatedly describes her as Romania’s Édith Piaf, and superficially I can see it: both are to my inexpert ear mezzo-sopranos, lived at the same time, died relatively young, and became cultural heroes in their respective nations. While Piaf remains a giant of global music and Tănase is little known outside her country, based on this 1965 compilation’s liner notes Tănase’s significance to Romanian music may surpass that of Piaf’s to France. As her biographer Harry Brauner (himself an interesting figure) tells it, Tănase was the artist most responsible for stitching Romania’s diverse folk traditions into a modern national music. Fascinated since girlhood by the folk songs taught to her by her parents and the peasant women who worked in her father’s plant nursery, throughout her life her hunger for music made her as much a folklorist as a popular singer. She amassed a repertoire of over 400 songs, many of them previously unrecorded pieces she learned directly from elderly peasants who were among the last living repositories of their regions’ oral traditions.

Like her contemporaries Atahualpa Yupanqui in Argentina and Pete Seeger in America, her work brought together traditional songs from various regions of her country at a time when that nation’s identity was still being forged—in Tănase’s lifetime Romania had expanded from the so-called Old Kingdom of Moldavia and Wallachia to include Bessarabia, Banat, Bukovina, and Transylvania, and bounced between monarchy, fascism, and communism. Between these regions (and within them), there were many distinct traditions, and the presence of a transcendent star who represented a cross-section of these styles had a unifying effect. The tracks compiled on Maria Tănase I attest to this diversity: the alternately somber and snaky “Lac-așa” recalls the historical influence of the Ottoman Empire; “Aseară ti-am luat basma” has the flavour of Eastern Jewish or Romany music; the steadily-increasing tempo of “Ciuleandra” puts me in mind of a Russian dancing game where the musicians keep speeding up until only the most athletic dancer remains standing.

Most of these songs are arranged for smaller combos (sometimes just a few violins and woodwinds) as befits their modest origins, though Tănase’s accompanists are the Orchestra de muzică populară a Radioteleviziunii, likely some of the best musicians in the country. In other words, these are not Alan Lomax-esque ethnomusicological recordings but represent an artist accustomed to performing on the continental stage, with the professionalism that entails. Still, my favourite piece by far is the haunting and minimal “Doină din maramureş,” a starkly theatrical shepherd’s lament with a wordless refrain that sounds like Tănase vocally channeling a flute. Brauner describes it as “a personal creation, in which the singer combines a number of elements existing in different regional doinăs” (doinăs being a style of improvised Romanian music). Tănase’s reading of the text is poised and hooded, ratcheting up the tension to the point of shivers, only to let the song descend back into near silence. Eastern European languages strike my ear as intrinsically gothic (thanks no doubt to the pervasive cultural influence of Dracula), and Tănase’s Romanian lends “Doină din maramureş” and the rippling black shroud that is “Cine iubește și lasă” an air of foreboding romance that would be lost in any other tongue.

As an underknown (to the West) but major artist in her time and place, Maria Tănase is ripe for rediscovery by those with a taste for early twentieth century music from outside the usual cultural centres.

256/365

[myatlantispoets]

ok so thoughts on this year's entries, in no specific order

-moldova once again showing us how it's done with folk pop

-italy coming in with a beautiful ballad IN ITALIAN (take notes everyone else)...bless. i don't even know what he's singing abt and that's okay! that's how esc works

-ukraine...the guy is cute and the message is ok but it's not giving, i'm sorry

-switzerland has a song abt not wanting to take part in wars...the joke writes itself

-the denmark guy looks like the love child of timothe chalawhatever and noah centineo. the song is boring :((

-austria...they understood the assignment. it's unhinged and nonsensical, there's no context whatsoever. same energy as the banana wolf song from norway last year

-armenia girls has such a pretty voice but the song is mid. if she'd sung it in armenian, it might've been a serve

-slovenia has rly good vibes and the music video is rly fun

-portugal KNOWS WHAT'S UP. the beat is good, we've got some latin pop vibes going, they're actually singing in portuguese (which is a rly pretty language imo)

-croatia GETS IT. idk what's going on but i'm here for the ride! also the music video is unhinged

-I LOVE THE SAXOPHONE IN MALTA'S ENTRY. the rest is sort of underwhelming tho, idk how to feel abt it

-poland....okay. are they trying to write the next summer hit

-australia darling, you're already on thin ice, and this is just. you can do better. i'm falling asleep

-everyone's talking abt serbia's entry but like. it's not clicking for me. i feel like they're trying to recreate the vibes of last year's (amazing) entry with the serbian lyrics and the cryptic message but it's not giving!! that being said, the line "i just want to sleep" is a mood and it can turn into a good meme at the very least

-czechia baby...you were so close. the chorus is a spiritual experience but the verses are clumsy and idk what to make of it. i like the message, tho, and it's def better than a lot of other entries

-i hate saying this but france is actually better than i expected. she has a good voice and the melody is kind of a vibe.

-ok spain kinda went off? it sounds so good, even tho i don't understand the lyrics, and the music video has this haunted aesthetic that i'm digging. i hope they keep the candles for the live version

-ok georgia...the chorus is great but everything else is mid

-lithuania giving us this year's depression song. that's it that's all i've got

-norway's entry actually deserves the hype. it's a vibe

-ok cyprus is kind of good, as far as esc love ballads go. he's putting his whole pussy into it

-ok albania is actually singing in albanian, love that for her! it's a very balkan song (affectionate), it kind of reminds me of like. balkan soap opera soundtracks (more specifically turkish and romanian cuz that's what i'm used to lol)

-ok belgium's entry is rly gay, is that a drag queen in the music video? bless their souls. the chorus is v upbeat, it's giving 90's music...yeah i'm down

-OMG GERMANY JDJSJHCWH. blood and glitter???? they're embracing the hardcore vibes lol. the guy's voice could cut through diamond. they get it!

-ireland i want to like you but i'm afraid the song is just.ok.

-WHERE IS BULGARIA????? NOOOOO

-ok the san marino guys are fun! i love the live guitars

-finland is so cursed yghg

-greece is ok.

-won't even bother with israel <333

-sweden, latvia, estonia and iceland being boring, nothing to see here. what's going on with the baltic and nordic countries? are u guys ok?

-and last but not least...romania. idk what we did here. the song is a bop and i can tell that the guy is trying his best but the coreography feels like a rip off of last year's entry. he can never have what wrs did, tho. wrs actually served cunt and objectified himself, as well as the dancers! this guy just stands there while the girls are carrying the show. maybe next year we can get our shit together :(((

[boredgramlin]

My dance teacher: All right, you're going to have to change your romanian folk costume to hungarian kalotaszegi while the boys are dancing.

Us (girls): Ok no problem.

My dance teacher: You'll have about 1.5 minutes

Us (girls): WHAT THE-

For clarification, changing from one of these costumes to another takes at least 3 minutes even for professional folk dancers.

[lamentingwclf]

It was true, his dance card was always quite full of the girls who wanted a chance with Bucky Barnes - to tame him - if the rumors were true. He'd run rampant back in his day, and Steve had always made sure he knew how often his name passed their lips. Was it envy, or exasperation? He never quite knew - just took it in stride and carried on with his life. But it had its downsides, it meant to be equitable, he had to space his time out amongst them and it was rather exhausting.

What he doesn't share, that perhaps he should, is that there was never a woman quite like her. If there had been, he imagines he'd have been in quite a bit of trouble.

Wanda presented quite a bit of a challenge. Not in the sense to be conquered, but in the sense that it was creating a slight desperation of the want to know her. These few glimpses he got when she did open up left him curious and aching to know more, even if her tale was a sad one. For him, it gave him a sense of camaraderie; but also, more dangerously - it gave him hope.

He has watched her fight, tooth and nail. He has watched her fall and get back up again, over and over. He has watched her triumph, and sure. In a sense, he has watched her fail too. But not once has he watched her give up - and it pushed him to do the same. Her, and innate stubbornness.

But as she struggles to find the right words for the information she's currently trying to convey, about dancing. As her accent becomes thicker trying to find the right words - a moment, perhaps, where he should tell her he speaks Romanian, and several other languages as well - his brows pull together automatically in concern of the implication until she gets it right. Bucky places the tip of a finger against her chin, forming a slight dimple. "Take your time."

Admittedly, his knowledge of folk dancing is minimal to none - but he's imagining some type of costume and over dramatics. Her, small, but still full of fire with her wild auburn hair and impossibly green eyes, and a faceless mother that looks more or less the same to how Wanda looks now.

"I think you're going to have to give me a demonstration - you know, if you want to keep the title of champion dancer, and all." It's said with a smirk, "Not that I want to win, or take this from you. It's nice to hear you laugh." He admits, and he feels lighter as well. Maybe this is all they needed to recoup in the first place, some old songs playing on an older radio. To stop tip-toeing around each other and this place, but to live. "I'll even make you a deal, if you show me yours, I'll take you out back where there's more room and show you how to properly swing."

IF he remembers how to, fully. He's about eighty percent sure, and the other twenty is sheer confidence that his body will figure it out when faced with the challenge. Otherwise, it may end up completely disastrous, with someone having a headache, but it's a risk he's willing to take.

Bucky takes a moment longer to memorize the way her body fits against his. He absorbs all the intimacy from it, then nudges her back into a spin. Stopping her midway, he pulls her back flush against his chest, and nuzzles the crook of her neck. When he speaks, his lips move against the shell of her ear. "What do you say, Wanda?"

Wanda wasn't sure if she expected him to join in and sway with her or not. Truthfully, there were many things about him that surprised her, and though there were certain hints she was now beginning to pick up - little movements, small flashes, little signs of their time spent together - he was still often an enigma. There was nothing wrong with that, of course. She would hardly say all surprises were a delight or even welcome, but no surprises at all would be utterly boring. And Wanda was enjoying the chance to actually get to know him.

"My, my... Was your dance card always filled? Well, I can't say I'm shocked by that news. But luckily for me, I've not exactly got a lot of competition for your attention this moment," she responded, an easy smile settling onto her features. She was joking (of course she was, any chance to feel relaxed and tease). However, there was some truth to her words. Times and battles had changed him, but she didn't doubt what he said. He was charming. He was handsome. And as time passed, he was becoming easier to joke with or simply talk with. ...Of course, she wasn't quite so bad herself. Surely.

She didn't know if this was childish or just simply an indulgent moment. Either way, Wanda didn't care. It was a moment that wasn't fighting or healing one another, a moment not tainted with some tragic undertone - at least not yet. With their track record, she wondered how long it would take for one of them to put their foot in it. But pulled back to him, pressed up against him as one hand settled on his shoulder and the other squeezed his hand those thoughts were blown away.

Hm. Rather unfair of Bucky to have a power like this. To make the moment simply about him.

Still, she enjoyed having her focus taken up with him.

There was that grin and though she didn't know what to expect, she knew to brace herself for something. The swing was perfect. Perhaps both their dancing skills had dulled with the time that had elapsed, but there was still an ease with which he moved her and she had the trust in him to know what he was doing. There was no resistance, except the burst of laughter that came from her - a quick laugh, borne from pleasant surprise.

"So James Barnes really can dance," Wanda remarked, a touch breathless but mostly from her own laughter, as her eyes sparked with amusement and a burst of excitement. There was a pleasure in seeing him relax and indulge her in this, and please, if he thought she couldn't keep up--

Oh, how unfair again. The kiss stalled her. Wanda didn't pull away, more than happy to accept the embrace. His lips felt soft and warm, and again, her hand moved up and her fingers gently brushed over the skin of his cheek. The feel of is hand on her bare skin to the touch of his lips on hers connected a little electric current, a burst of want and need and simply pleasure once more. Pulling back, her smile was unabashed and quite free. He was quite incredible to her. It felt good to be so close, to see him like this. To see his lips curl up, to see him so intimately. "Such a statement. And what if I was to hold you to that?"

Her hand on his shoulder once more, but she pressed in a little closer as she stated, "I'll admit to being impressed by your dancing skills, but dancing is completely my domain. I danced for good money you know." A pause, blinking as she thought through her own words, backtracking with, "I mean I was a child. I mean-- that was worse." Her cheeks puffed up for just a second, nose wrinkling before she exhaled in a soft of annoyance. She'd get there, and her accent was a touch thicker as she remarked, "My mother taught me. We both danced. Folk dancing. Not ideal. People loved it, though."

She was regaining her confidence, skipping over her words and straightening up as she moved...in...even...closer... Swaying ever so slightly, "I was quite the star. So don't try and take dancing from me, Bucky, you won't win."

"All the same, I'm glad to have such a coveted partner," unable to resist going back to his own words, teasingly repeating it. It was fine. She followed it up with a soft kiss, not looking for his lips but leaning in and pressing the kiss softly under his jaw. "I enjoy dancing," she said softly against his skin, "And your swing moves are most definitely enjoyable."

Her hair brushed against him, falling over her shoulders as she straightened. Her look unguarded, simply smiling up at him before catching his eye - which only caused the good natured humour she felt to grow, the warmth of the moment spreading. Yes. She liked this. Rather silly of them. ...But maybe that was needed now and then.

[suetravelblog]

Christmas Market and Classical Christmas Fair 2021 Bucharest Romania

Christmas Market and Classical Christmas Fair 2021 Bucharest Romania

[evabritt]

A Night With My New Sugar Daddy

The past week has been strange, to say the least. One night I got really high and made a Seeking Arrangements profile, mostly out of boredom. This website is mega sad. There's no way of avoiding that. It's mostly a run-of-the-mill Pre-Tinder dating website, ala Christian Mingle. The different part is that men fill out their income and net worth, with descriptions like “discrete” and “no strings attached”. My profile has no photos of my head, just my body. Totally degrading anti-feminist meat market stuff. I have a photo Maria took of me at North Ave. Beach, right before I left. I cropped my head out. One time I showed a guy at a beer garden in Munich the picture and he went, “What? That's you?”. He was very impressed. I hope. Don't worry, I’m not that much of a slut- I have “private” photos only men of my approval may see. I told Talulah about it and she suggested we do it together. So now we’re sugar babies, sorta. I text with the men and once they seem well adjusted I propose that I have a friend who is “interested in this type of arrangement”. Then they ask for a photo. Talulah doesn’t like having pictures of her taken, a belief we share. So, I send them one I took of her in my kitchen. In the photo, she is gazing blankly at the camera, trying to hold back laughter. 

Talulah has accidentally become one of my closest friends. I feel like I’m in a movie when I’m with her. She's genetically cool. She grew up in Brooklyn surrounded by a carousel of artists that lived in her parent's spare room. She frequently launches into long tales about her mythical apartment. Once, she said, someone got married in it. Another story involved a group of Romanian folk dancers who were entrenched in a love triangle. Talulah has beautiful naturally bright blonde hair and amazing bangs. She doesn't even blow dry them. I’m so jealous. If I don't follow a diligent multi-step hair routine, I look like I grew up in an isolated forest and have never seen humans before. Talulah owns an insane amount of jeans but insists that she wears all of them equally. She likes really dark chocolate and peanut butter. She drinks a lot of wine. I feel so special when she wants to spend time with me; we do a lot together too. I think that Talulah is the type of girl guys get obsessed with. At clubs her eyes dart from person to person, occasionally stopping at mine. It looks like she's hunting. She dances a bit like a belly dancer. She moves fluidly, a stark contrast from the typical techno dancing of Berlin. I accept that I follow her around like a puppy. In all my past friendships, I always felt like the one pulling the strings. (An Effy and Pandora from Skins relationship ). But with Talulah I just sit back and let her find the fun. Ive but a lot of faith into her. I find myself spending so much time with her, more than any friend before. This is so exciting for me. Ive always wondered about this type of friendship. It’s a sort of exceptional bond that Ive only seen in movies, or the TV show skins. We made pancakes together once. Shell often break out into song and dance in front of me. This makes me feel awkward. Its so romantic but in this unnerving uncanny way. It doesn’t feel real, like Im a character in a movie. 

The problem looming over our friendship is that we have to have sex together. While we were looking at my account, we laughed really hard. I think we were laughing at the sad absurdity of this get-rich-quick scheme. But we laughed really hard when it hit us that we’d have to fuck each other. Well, at least it took a moment to hit me. We promised that we would set time aside to practice. We even considered asking our lesbian friends for help with the matter. Im writing this a week after the events of this post and since then, we’ve made out twice. It was pretty sexy, cant lie. We were both fucked up at a club. I feel really awkward making out with someone on a dance floor. Especially kissing another very straight looking woman. It feels very tacky, attention seeking. But Talulah  likes it, I think or at least doesn’t share my shame. 

Anyway, back to our adventures: I met this guy on Seeking, his username is Apocalypse Now Later. His bio said he's an artist. He had some of his art on his profile; my mom would hate it. It looks a bit like Target art. Lots of abstract  graphic blobs. Blobs shaped like buildings, naked women, and clubs. Some of the blobs were painted colors. Truly sensational. He was attractive, though, which is rare for the website. We planned to meet up with all three of us. I suggested a really expensive bar in Prenzlauer Berg. When we got there he was talking at the table behind him about the events he hosts. I stalked his facebook and knew that he hosts a Hebrew language reading/performance/show/I don’t really know what it is. Some kind of event where people go and look at their acquaintances do funny little shows or hang up blobby artwork on the wall. His outfit reminded me of something a boy my age would wear. He had on a loose patterned top, reminiscent of the 70s, over that was a similarly patterned black blazer. I think he dressed up for us. He might have had a scarf on but I can't remember. We sat down and immediately learned that his money does not come from art but in fact, from drugs; weed specifically, he grows and sells his own. He told us he grows around 3 kilos of weed a month. He grows weed in all his friend apartments. So, he is frequently just hanging out in other peoples apartments. I’m sure he gets a little money from his art, but no way is it enough to support the likely massive drug habit he has. Personally, I value an entrepreneurial spirit. Owning your own business is hard, especially an illegal one. Being a weed man requires, networking skills, organization, a vast knowledge of botany; It’s not easy work. 

We learned that his name is Barak, he is from Israel, he is 40, was married for 9 years, currently, he has a partner, and they've been together for 4 years. 40 is really old, older than Uwe. 40 is double my entire life. He was my age in 1996. It’s also strange to be on a three-way date. At first, I felt like he liked Talulah more than me; she's prettier than me and just has this indescribable ethereal quality. (I mean that in a platonic way). But then I recited Israeli history to him like an autistic robot and I think that really charmed him. He kept telling me I was the funniest person he's ever met. If that is true, he must have had a boring past 40 years. We smoked two joints with him. He got into a tiff the owner of the bar about his weed. We stepped out to smoke the first joint. When we came back the man asked us if we were enjoying everything and then very politely asked us to walk across the street if we were going to smoke more. He said it was to be considerate of the neighbors. For whatever reason Barak insisted that it was not weed we smoked, but CBD, that he bought from the store down the road. For someone so brazen with weed smoking it was strange how annoyed he got, you would think this was a common occurrence. Or maybe be it annoyed him so much he gets angrier every time. I bet the latter.

We also did coke with him. It was my first time trying coke, it wasn't what I thought it was going to be like. It made my teeth feel tight, like when you put your retainer on for the first time in months. It also leaves a gross taste in the back of your throat. Damn you sinus  system; always fucking shit up. Otherwise, I guess it’s a nice activity to do at a club. The drama of filing into a bathroom and preforming that intricate cocaine ritual. Immediately after he snorted his line, I asked him if he supports a two-state solution. It seems like he probably doesn't but I can tell he has some Israeli-guilt about it. He agreed when I said, “Too bad about Palestine”, so he’s at least a bit emphatic. Honestly, I can’t believe my luck. This is maybe the greatest thing thats ever happened to me. I feel like I’ve found my Berlin-fairy-Godfather. Who else can say they just walked into the most profitable relationship of their life? This is a reward from some higher power. I am Grateful! Thank you! 

A couple of days later, Talulah and I were with him in Neukölln at his friend's apartment. An Italian-American hermit from Georgia named Nick owned the apartment; he's a chef that works with Irish people. I actually met him sometime after this night. (The context of that story is so bleak: I lost 4 molly pills and had to go crawling to him to get 4 more, long story). His been in Berlin for 11 years but miraculously sounds like a black teenager from Atlanta. It’s a beautiful sight. The apartment was very well-lit but almost completely barren. He had no table, just a small sofa. He had a computer desk and used a vintage trunk as a quasi-bench/dining room table. His kitchen was mechanical. He had no stove, just a hot plate. And only one set of cutlery, the universal mark of a terminally alone bachelor. Though, he had a large and impressive record collection. This time felt notably different than the last time. Barak was quieter, less suave, and more awkward. He was dressed tamer. He wore an intentionally garish patterned button up but toned it down with a black sweater. For pants, he had on simple khakis. He looked sort of like the sexy kind of history teacher. This time felt weirdly un-intimate like we were hanging out in an IKEA display. It wasn’t any of our homes, I felt like an intruder. The three-person part feels strange when one person leaves to go to the bathroom or leaves because there's a “client” downstairs. (When I was first texting with Barak, I thought his “clients' ' were art clients, they are in fact not that type of client). When Talulah left to pee there was a weird silence between us. Like two 12 year olds assigned to a group project. He emphatically- yet awkwardly- asked me how I was. I responded and probably spun into some complaint or general grievance to fill the silence. I wonder what Barak and Talulah talked about while I was peeing. Probably about how she was.  

We ordered Indian food and ate it on the floor. It was pretty good but I got too nervous to eat, the most persisting trait from my days with a light eating disorder. I cant eat in-front of people, especially men. Its really stupid and annoying. It makes me look so dumb, when Im the only friend not eating. As always, can of worms for another day. Around 10, Talulah said she needed to go because she had class tomorrow. An early class is maybe the greatest excuse of all time. Actually, class at anytime is the best excuse. (Pro Tip: If you want to flake on someone at a time when you logically wouldn’t  have class, like a Friday  night, say you have to attend a special lecture or moving screening or someone other bull shit art fest your fake liberal arts college sends you do in lieu of real assignments) He then invited us to a club and said that he got us all on the guest list. I personally believe that it's important to take the opportunities life blesses you with. So, I put up a bit of resistance, mostly for show. “I really should be going soon, I have class tomorrow blah blah blah”. But ultimately, I agreed to go out with him. One thing about me is that no daytime engagement has ever stopped me from going out. I was excited at the idea of going somewhere on the guest list. It made me feel very fancy, like I was part of some inner circle. 

When we got to the club there was no line. The bouncers took his name and showed us inside. The guest list didn’t  get us in for free, he still had to pay a “reduced  free”. The guest list isn’t  some exclusive social club, its basically a rewards card. He seemed surprised that he had to pay. We went through the hassle  of getting our bags “searched” and our cameras covered. This felt very humiliating. The lights were so bright and I felt awkward. Mostly because I was aware the staff might be thinking we look weird together. I remember one time a couple came into the restaurant I worked at. The man was maybe in his 50s and the woman was probably my age now. She was wearing a lot of pink and a playboy necklace . Another waitress and I tried to figure out if she was his date or daughter. Now, I am that girl. Thankfully we don’t look alike. God, maybe that makes it weirder then, because its obvious we are not a father and daughter enjoying some wholesome clubbing. He said he has been going to this club since it opened in 2014. I refrained from telling him that I was 11 in 2014. Berlin is definitely the best city in the world for clubbing yet clubs can be really uncreative in their interior design choices. Berlin clubs are either warehouse-themed or circus themed. This one was the ladder. Personally, I like a warehouse more than Cirque du Soleil. It’s way edgier. He led me to the bathroom and we did more coke; snorting drugs with a 40-year-old in a bathroom stall might be a sign that I’m not making the best choices. We sat on couches in a room next to the dance floor. He seems to be really charmed by my occasional spurts of autism. I told him how much I love drugs to which he responded by giving me 2cb or tusi. It seems to be just a random mix of other drugs, namely molly, ketamine, and LSD. He made me read the Wikipedia page beforehand, which is considerate, I guess. It wasn't as strong as I thought it was going to be. The visuals were mild, but the body sensations were strong. Whenever I take a psychedelic, I use the view of my hand as a gauge of the quality of drug. The club was, in its design, pretty trippy. There was a large replica  of three Greek goddesses in the center of the room. With murals of chaotic scenes plastered on the walls. He was biting my ear and I felt an all-over tingling. The Wikipedia pages described it as “pins and needles”, which makes it sound like a bad thing. But the feeling was really good, good enough to make me forget that I am not really attracted to the 40-year-old kissing me. While we were making out, I wondered again what the people around us thought. Maybe this is a normal sight for 3 am at a club. But I couldn't shake the feeling that people were watching. Maybe they were judging me or maybe they were worried for me. There was a woman who kept making eye contact with me. I wonder if she was repulsed by his grey hairs and deepening wrinkles pressed up against my bright milky skin, untainted by decades of sun and smoking. She was probably just really drunk and staring into space, though. 

Barak is a weird man. Considering how creepy this relationship is, he is surprisingly well-spoken, gentile, and thoughtful. It's impressive how relentlessly happy he is. He is eccentric to his core. He dresses like a character in a John Waters movie; decked out in layers of cheap flashy second-hand clothing. He gave me a vintage Yamaha racing jacket, he said it cost 7 euros. I found the same jacket on eBay and it's worth 170 euros. I gave the jacket to Talulah, I thought it was ugly. It's hard to not find myself charmed by his attention to detail. He doesn’t hold back compliments, he told me I was beautiful in an alien way. He seems so attracted to me. I cant lie, its made me more self confidant. I don’t know if its him or Berlin or the other guys Ive hooked up with but all of a sudden I feel so pretty. Ive never thought I was pretty. In fact, I used to think I was distinctly unattractive. I think most women my age probably have some insane unheard of face dysmorphia caused by years of selfie taking. Ive always liked my eyes the best, still I think they’re too hooded and downturned. I hate my cheeks, chin, and lips. My cheeks are full and make my face look fat. My chin is too small. My lips are uneven and thin. But now at certain angels, I can see the shape of something pretty emerging. When I look in the mirror I am starting to see what Barak might see. I wonder how different things might be if we were the same age. 

After a couple of hours of staring blankly at lights on a dance floor, we went back to his friend's apartment. We snorted some coke in a cab then climbed up 4 flights of stairs. He's pretty active for a 40-year-old, clubbing and drug use will really keep a person young! The apartment felt different the second time. Nighttime made the lights glow warmer, the plants looked greener, and the pots and pans that decorated the wall were extra shiny. I was on a lot of drugs. I felt cozy but there was also a growing anxiety stirring in my stomach. He put on some smooth jazz, a choice that is both too on the nose yet also deeply off-putting . He started to kiss me and pushed me onto his lap. I sat straddling a man who could be my father. This made me think of my old high school boyfriends. I remember sitting on Kiran's lap and feeling a hard penis for the first time. He took my shirt off and then his. His beer belly pushed against my own stomach as he moved to the ground. “I want to lick you”, he said. Ew. Gross. I guess there is no better way to announce oral sex but wow lick is maybe one of the worst. At this moment, I felt an all too familiar anxiety wash over me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't really want to have sex with this guy. It was all wrong, Talulah wasn't here, I was super high, and worst of all I wasn't getting paid for it but I worried that if I fucked this up we would never see him again. And we need to see him again because he's our gateway to a wonderland of crazy party drugs. But I gave in to myself and told him I didn't want to have sex. He immediately pulled away from me and very enthusiastically told me it was ok. I think that liberal self-proclaimed feminist men enjoy boasting about how well they can handle rejection. As if it isn't a normal human response to be disappointed when someone rejects you. 

 I was cold and suggested moving off of the two-person sofa and into the bedroom. We smoked two more joints and I tried to fall asleep. He kept waking me up by massaging me. Eventually, he moved his hand down my tights and began to finger me. It's not like I was being assaulted, I knew I could stop him but I just didn't feel like it. I just wanted to lay there and sleep. The drugs were making me really turned on, I wanted him to keep going. But my brain wanted to sleep. So I just laid still and imagined I was a doll. He seemed so turned on, like probably the horniest person. Eventually, he did give me head because I didn't stop him. Every time I hook up with a man I assume that he’ll pick up on my lack of enthusiasm as a sign to stop but it never happens. Despite lying there like an extra on set for a zombie movie, he pressed on. My senses were completely overwhelmed. I've never felt so vulnerable before. I was completely stripped down both physically and emotionally. I told him in order to have sex I need to complete a complex shower routine, which is only sort of true. (I like being clean before sex but I don't have OCD or anything). I tell this lie to a lot of men in order to avoid having sex and he was the first to actually think about it. He told me that my body is not dirty and that it can actually be nice to shower with other people. I was stunned. I am not used to other people outsmarting me. God, how typical the 19-year-old girl thinks her only intellectual counterpart is a 40-year-old man. Sometimes, my life feels so played out. 

After our rendezvous, I tried to fall asleep but he was snoring so loud. It sounded painful like he was dying. He would gasp for air for a bit and then he would almost choke on his own breath. He would do one big missive snore, so loud he would wake himself up. His nose is probably messed up from all the drugs. At a certain point, my nose became clogged, probably from all the drugs. Then we were, in sync, struggling to breathe. His music is still playing too. But at this point, the Spotify playlist had been on for long that it was playing Disney movie kind of jazz. Imagine the opening credits to The Princess and the Frog. The drugs were wearing off and I was increasingly aware of my own existence. I felt a headache coming. I hadn't been able to fall asleep at all but I knew my alarm would go off at 8:30 and he would wake up. All I had to do was just lay there for a bit longer. However, we were laying in a way that I was basically trapped in his arms, with his mouth right next to my ear. I was uncomfortable and couldn't move. I could tell it was daytime because the room was brighter. Waiting for the alarm was arduous. It could have been 8:27 or 6 am, I had no way of knowing. In hindsight, I don't know why I didn't wake him up. I wanted to pretend that his snoring wasn’t  happening and that I was perfectly content in his arms. I think I wanted to feel alone for a little longer.

It was my lucky day because he soon woke himself up. I felt his hard dick on my back. He commented that it was so nice sleeping with me. He asked me if he could rub himself on me. Instead, I turned around and gave him a blowjob, mostly because I felt it was the polite thing to do. He came quickly, which was also polite of him. He offered to go get breakfast but I said I don't eat breakfast. I actually love breakfast I just really wanted to go home. I did prolong my stay by taking a cold shower with useless organic soap. (My shower is currently broken, beggars can't be choosers). 

Some time has passed since this night and I've seen Barak again a couple of times. Each time is weirder than the last. Once I went to an apartment he was renovating to pick up pills. I think he’s using the renovation as a way to hide the over 40 weed plants growing in the master bedroom. Another time I went out with Talulah and him. Talulah went home with a guy from the club. Barak took me to his friend's apartment where he grows weed. He tucked me into bed, whispered, “I want to eat your pussy”, kissed my forehead, then left. This is maybe the most profitable and strange relationship I’ve ever had. I love it.

[virtualrenfaire2020]

Virtual Ren Faire 2020 Calendar

We have activities and themed days, plus we’ve compiled a bunch of livestreams from some fantastic performers to enjoy during our Faire. The calendar is updated daily, so stay tuned for more events!

Saturday, March 28

Opening day!

Join us on Opening Day for a day of faire activities. Share photos, videos, and stories relating to your ren faire experience! 

Submissions will be open starting today for the Costume Contest!

O.W.L. Fest - 7:30 AM PDT

An all-day series of concerts with a wizardly theme. A new artist is live every half hour until 7:00 PM, so tune in anytime! Don’t forget to refresh the page between concerts to listen to the latest stream. The current lineup is: Tonks and the Aurors, Lauren Fairweather, Ashley Hamel, Hawthorn & Holly, Grace Kendall, Kalysta Flame, Pussycat Dolores, The Purebloods, Flitwick and the Charmers, Losing Lara, Muggle Snuggle, Percy and the Prefects, Ludo Bagman and the Trash, Draco and the Malfoys, The Mudbloods, The Lovegoods, Alas Earwax!, The Blibbering Humdingers, Abby Ritter, The Swedish Shortsnouts, Kirstyn Hippe, POTTÖRHEAD, The Arkadian, Karl-Johan, and Toucan Dubh.

Check out the Facebook livestream concerts here.

Ye Banished Privateers Virtual Release Party - 11:00 AM PDT.

“Let’s party like it’s 1720! Borders are closing, people are being forced to shut their doors. Our global world is growing smaller, but Ye Banished Privateers believes in staying connected through the crisis. On march 28th we were planning to throw a big release party for our new album Hostis Humani Generis in our home town Umeå, Sweden, which naturally had to be cancelled due to the corona pandemic. Instead we’ll be hosting a live streamed event, at 19.00 cet 28/3 that will be worthy of an official release concert. We want to try and make this something special and grand . . . let’s stand together in all safe ways possible.”

Check out the Youtube livestream concert here.

Pub Crawl - 1:30 PM PDT. 

We’ll be hosting a BYOB pub crawl. Keep an eye out for the tag vrf2020 pub crawl for more info. Please follow local drinking laws and drink responsibly!

Cyrus Pynn (The Swordsman) - 2:00 PM PDT.

“I am a self taught professional sword swallower who perfected the art at the Coney Island Sideshow School, where I learned to present it in an entertaining and classy manner. Since then I have pushed the limit with this dangerous feat as I have traveled across the United States performing with Carnivals, Festivals and Variety Shows . . . Demonstrating the world's most dangerous stunt in an entertaining, classy manner featuring comedy, audience interaction and, of course, death defiance! ‘Down the Hatch without a Scratch!’“

Check out the Facebook livestream show here.

Andrea Beaton - 4:30 PM PDT.

“Andrea grew up in a musical family in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.  Both the Beaton and MacMaster sides of her family are well known and respected as some of Cape Breton's finest musicians, dancers and composers. She has made 6 solo CDs, a duo album with her father Kinnon, and published 3 books of tunes.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

The CRAIC Show - 5:00 PM PDT.

“The CRAIC Show is an intense & wildly entertaining act, made up of five international travelers who, in 1541AD, were banded together on an ancient battlefield. This unique merging of music from far away lands brings a sound that is unlike any other . . .  Ever-changing and constantly blending styles, The CRAIC Show is always bringing a fresh, high energy blend of World Medieval Music to a modern audience.” 

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Erin Rae - 7:00 PM PDT.

“Gifted with a unique ability to fuse musical genres and influences to craft songs that feel fresh and wholly her own, with her new album Putting On Airs, Erin Rae has thrown down a direct challenge to the stereotype of what a Southern singer should be. Both lyrically and sonically, she strikes a fiercely independent chord, proudly releasing a deeply personal record that reflects her own upbringing in Tennessee, including the prejudices and injustices that she witnessed as a child that continue to impact her life to this day. According to Rae, ‘this album was born out of a need to do some healing work in my personal life, in order to address some fears and patterns of mine to allow my true feelings to come to the surface.’”

Check out the Instagram livestream concert here.

Sunday, March 29

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Alistair McCulloch - 11:30 AM PDT.

“Alistair is one of Scotland's best known fiddle performers and teachers.  His trio features Aaron Jones of Old Blind Dogs, and former Capercaillie whistle wizard Marc Duff. Alistair has taught a generation of rising stars at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Linda McRae - 1:00 PM PDT.

“Linda’s love of Canadian, American and British music early on in her career resulted in multiple band configurations from roots-rock to punk to folk . . . When Linda steps onto a concert stage, into a recording studio, workshop or mentoring session, there is an effortless passion, a love of what she does and a connection with fans and friendships built and treasured. A multi-instrumentalist Linda works tirelessly as a touring singing songwriter, performing at premiere venues across Canada, the US and Europe while turning out new works.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

The Glow Bubble Show (Meadow Perry) - 4:00 PM PDT.

“Meadow Perry is a Philadelphia based Magician, Bubble Artist and Actress. Known for her beloved children's character, Meadowlark the Faerie, Meadow has been performing in various genres from the stage to private events for over 15 years. The Bubble Magic of Meadow Perry is a show that takes the visual art of bubbles, theatrical storytelling, enchanting magic, thrilling music, & a touch of sophistication to create a unique and entertaining show that has been described as ‘A mesmerizing, spellbounding experience! Charming and interesting, Meadow takes the rules of bubbles outside the box!’”

Check out the Instagram livestream show here.

Monday, March 30

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Merchants’ Monday

Show our wonderful shops some extra love today!

Shannon Lay - 12:00 PM PDT.

“There is an entire sub-genre of poetry devoted to rivers and their persistent, meditative flow . . . For transcendent folk-pop artist Shannon Lay, the river is all of the above: It’s the metaphor driving her latest album, the exquisitely uplifting August (Sub Pop Records, out August, 23rd)—which doubles as an aural baptism renewing her purpose for making music. ‘I always picture music as this river. Everyone’s throwing things into this river, it’s a place you can go to and feed off of that energy,’ she says, ‘and feel nourished by the fact that so many people are feeling what you’re feeling. It’s this beautiful exchange.’”

Check out the Instagram livestream concert here.

Jesse Linder, Bard - 5:00 PM PDT.

“. . .'Singer of Songs, Teller of Tales.’ Jesse performs as a solo artist and as a member of 3 Pints Gone, and has been a member of Separated at Birth, CrossRogues, and Tippler's Way. Jesse sings at Renaisance faires, American reenactments, Irish pubs, and coffeehouses throughout the Midwest. He currently has three solo CDs and five group CDs in print.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Steven Greenman - 6:00 PM PDT.

“Steven has worked with some of the world’s leading klezmer ensembles, is a founding member of Cleveland’s East European ensemble Harmonia, and has been a guest soloist with the Cleveland Pops Orchestra, performing his own arrangements of gypsy and klezmer music.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Tuesday, March 31

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Time Travel Tuesday

Share your favorite photos and costumes from any time period, from Ancient Greece to 2265. After all, in quarantine, time all feels a little wibbly wobbly!

Jonathan Cannon - 5:30 PM PDT.

“Jonathan has studied klezmer, Romanian, Celtic, and American fiddling, performs regularly, with award-winning Boston klezmer band Ezekiel’s Wheels, and for contra dances.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Wednesday, April 1

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Anne-Mari Kivimäki & Palomylly - 10:00 AM PDT.

“Anne-Mari Kivimäki & Palomylly is an impressive sound mix with stories, archive recordings, jouhikko, double bass, vocals and accordion. Kivimäki’s music has a hypnotic pulse and it’s made for the love of old stories. Kivimäki has gathered her Palomylly band from the musicians on her successful Lakkautettu Kylä (A Closed-Down Village) album.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Troy MacGillivray with Sabra MacGillivray - 4:30 PM PDT.

“Troy is a brilliant fiddler, pianist and stepdancer from Nova Scotia.  He’s been featured at many festivals including Celtic Connections in Scotland, East Coast Music Awards, Celtic Colours Festival in Cape Breton, the Barbados Celtic Festival and the Edinburgh Fiddle Festival.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Thursday, April 2

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Cookie Segelstein with Josh Horowitz - 10:00 AM PDT.

“Founder of Veretski Pass, and fiddler with many other top klezmer bands, Cookie has taught workshops round the world, and has been featured in an ABC documentary and a film starring Robert DeNiro.  Josh founded the band Budowitz and has played with Vienna Chamber Orchestra, Theodore Bikel, and accompanied Itzhak Perlman on PBS.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Oshima Brothers - 3:00 PM PDT.

“Raised in a musical family in rural Maine, the brothers have honed a harmony-rich blend of contemporary folk and acoustic pop. On stage, Sean and Jamie create a surprisingly full sound with dynamic vocals, electric and acoustic guitars, octave bass, loops, and percussion. The brothers live in Maine but are often on the road performing, producing music videos, and dancing.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Friday, April 3

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Furry Friends Friday

Ever dressed your pet up for the faire? Show us your photos and costume ideas! Or show us your faire-themed fursuit. You do you.

Let’s Get Traditional (The Minstrel Rav’n) - 4:00 PM PDT.

“The Minstrel Rav'n travels the lands Telling Songs and Singing Stories about Taverns, Pirates and Elven Lasses. Songs of Adventure, Drinking... and things a bit on the Naughty Side!”

Check out the Facebook livestream here.

HST (Ed, Lilly & Neil Pearlman) - 4:30 PM PDT.

“HST (Highland Soles Trio) is 3/5 of a family band, with dancer Laura Scott and Jesse on whistle. HST has toured the US and Scotland with new and old tunes in the Scottish tradition.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Saturday, April 4

Gráinne Brady - 12:30 PM PDT.

“Gráinne is an Irish fiddle player from County Cavan in Ireland and currently based in Glasgow where she leads sessions and plays with Top Floor Taivers, string group The Routes Quartet, and Gaeilge/Gàidhlig supergroup LAS.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Pub Crawl - 1:30 PM PDT.

We’ll be hosting a BYOB pub crawl. Keep an eye out for the tag vrf2020 pub crawl for more info. Please follow local drinking laws and drink responsibly!

Costume Contest Judging - 6:00 PM PDT.

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest until 6:00. Winners will be chosen between 6:00 and 7:00 PDT.

Sunday, April 5

Jenna Reid - 11:30 AM PDT.

“Jenna is a member of the great fiddle bands Blazin' Fiddles, and RANT.  Born & bred in Shetland, she learned fiddle from the late Willie Hunter. Following her music degree, Jenna performed with Dóchas and Deaf Shepherd before joining her current bands.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Closing Day

We’re sad to see you go, but we hope to catch you at an IRL faire next season!

[residentraccoon]

✨ esc 2007 top ✨

title.

Love them!!

1. Bulgaria - weird electro folk chaos...fuck yea

2. Serbia - marija is a legend topic closed

3. Ukraine - ah a classic. verka serduchka world domination

4. Georgia - so ahead of its time

5. Russia - this will be my mean girl anthem from now on

6. North Macedonia - what a jam

7. Finland - "leave me alone I wanna go home" sAME girl

8. Moldova - so epic. flawless.

9. Slovenia - glowy hand

10. Turkey - he lost me at that lowkey cringe pre bridge

11. Belarus - "yes I'm willy" i thought his name was dmitry

12. Cyprus - yes she was totally robbed bye

13. Greece - hey my middle name is maria

14. Germany - i just stepped in a casino

15. Romania - how tf I like this multilingual hot mess

16. Lithuania - creepy shadows playing instruments, how cool

17. Spain - I'm not immune to funky spanish dancers

Like them!!

18. Armenia - so epic, rip hayko 😭

19. Bosnia Herzegovina - forest princess

20. Montenegro - this is great, underrated as usual from Montenegro

21. Hungary - this felt like a whole movie

22. Czech Republic - this is so underrated wtf it's good??

23. Netherlands - it's one of the 2021 hosts !!

24. Portugal - groovy

25. Denmark - we need more drag queens at esc

26. France - oh no he's following me

27. Ireland - traditional irish sound yes please

28. Iceland - another rock song that I like

29. Norway - not so norway-ish but fun

30. Sweden - he looks a bit like ethan torchio

31. Poland - gotta love the chains on you led animation

32. Croatia - see Iceland

33. Latvia - wanted more from this

34. Andorra - he's just standing there menacingly

35. Austria - a bit catchy

They're good

36. Malta - nice but doesn't stand out

37. UK - the airport staging was a nice idea..too bad they ruined it with all those dirty lines what the fuck uk

38. Estonia - why is there so much freaking yellow

39. Albania - yeah it's good I think

40. Switzerland - weak but thanks for singing about vampires, as a romanian I appreciate

41. Belgium - i appreciate the lgbt undertones but doesn't drag me in at all

Not my thing

42. Israel - ...okay

[eurosong]

My ESC 2019 ranking

Hey there, folks - after a lot of deliberation, I’ve decided upon my ranking of this year’s songs. I feel quite passionately about this year’s field, as always, and make some trenchant remarks, but a lot of them are tongue in cheek, and no shade is intended on those who like the songs I don’t or vice versa. Here’s my ranking with my thoughts on why I put each song where I did.

41. Croatia – The Dream I try to find a redeeming quality in every song, but sometimes the task proves impossible. This ironically-named nightmare of a track sounds like a poorly-produced early 00s track that tried to straddle the line between classic and futuristic and failed at both. The usual things that I hear in its defence are that Roko has a good voice, and that the Croatian segment is better. To the first point, maybe, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that the voice doesn’t shine through the scream mode of most of the song; to the latter point, if you know some BCS, you’ll know that the Croatian language bit is as cloyingly cliché as the English part. Some people are saying that this could be a surprise qualifier. If that happens, I will shed tears of blood.

40. France – Roi If France don’t change their national final system to equalise the jury and televote more after this year, I don’t know when they will. Destination Eurovision had a bunch of good songs, but thanks to the power of a Youtuber’s fanbase, one of the least remarkable and most cloying songs got the nod instead. Roi is an unabashed hymn to self with the most criminal franglais abominations (rhyming beaucoup with boo, really?) to which I’ve ever been subjected.  Now it’s supposedly got a chance of winning thanks to a gimmicky staging, which I feel uses people as props. I wouldn’t even mind the antipathetic performer and cringey, self-centred lyrics so much if the tune were interested, but it’s equally empty and pompous.

39. San Marino – Say na na na Well, this song certainly does get me saying nah, nah, nah. I do not get the amount of good will for it, as I neither find it a good track, nor enjoyable ironically like Who we are or Chain of lights were. It’s a “party track”, but the party in question is the kind I want to flee where the food is bad, the music is obnoxious and overbearing and the ambiance is that of an uncomfortable throwback. Bewildering how this is considered a worthy qualifier.

38. Moldova – Stay I swear Eurovision has songs like this just to be able to detect extra-terrestrials, because if anyone says this song is their favourite, and they’re neither Moldovan nor Romanian, then it confirms to me that they are aliens because this is banality writ large. Three minutes of contradictory and cliché rhymes (“it’s now or never, it’s forever”. Ok then mate), dull music, little progression, an oddly unpleasant vocal and even a staging that comes second-hand.

37. Finland – Look away My impulse is to look away from this song indeed – a dated slice of repetitive, oddly downbeat despite being uptempo EDM slathered with a simultaneously overwrought and undercooked social message and brought to us by an uncomfortable duo who look like two acquaintances whose fishing trip got interrupted abruptly and they had to cook up a Eurovision song last minute. There is nothing about this I like at all.

36. Israel – Home The one faintly interesting thing about this song is the remarkable wailing in its first few seconds, but they removed even that. This has to be one of the most maudlin songs I have ever heard, delivered gratingly. A friend of mine nicknamed Kobi the “Joystealer”, and the name is very apt. I feel like all the joy in the world is out of reach when listening to this lament, which is syrupy and bitter at the same time, like a coarse cough medicine. The “I am someone” has to be one of the most cloying lines of the entire year, too.

35. Estonia – Storm Estonia having to resort to sending a croaky renta-Swede to sing a budget Avicii b-side in front of a Windows XP screensaver with lyrics that imaginatively rhyme ��this” with, well, “this” is like seeing someone who had always dressed elegantly having to resort to sporting torn, worn, ill-fitting hand-me-downs that were already out of fashion when bought first hand. This land of song and art can and should be doing so much better.

34. Montenegro – Heaven The fact this ironically infernal song is not just not bottom but also almost avoided my bottom 10 just goes to show how deep the bottom is this year. Sounds like Podgorica’s 56th best sixth form choir got some cassette tapes of bad late 90s R&B-lite, got a donation of a dodgy Casio keyboard and, at the last minute, got their granddad to do a bit of fiddling, mixed it all together and the result was this chaötic hot mess on ice. It’s a shame, because these kids seem genuinely nice, and they don’t deserve to be lumbered with the albatross around their neck of this song and the resultant cast iron “last in the semi” result it will achieve.

33. Switzerland – She got me There’s little separating the female attempt at a duego and the male one for me. Luca radiates a smug energy that annoys me more, but the song is a smidgen less generic, but then using the same dancers as from Fuego made the decision easier. I’m not sure what she got him, but it certainly wasn’t a grammar book, as the song is filled with bizarrely affected ungrammatical English, because I guess it’s uncool to properly conjugate.

32. Cyprus – Replay It seems almost self-parodising that Cyprus lamely returned to try to catch lightning in the same jar with a song that is entitled, and feels like, a giant replay. Fuego was an encapsulation of many things I really don’t like at Eurovision – a lyrically empty song with limited musical merit or memorability that got a lot further than it would off the basis, mostly, of staging. This year, the staging is worse and the performer is less charismatic. If it does as well, I will be astounded.

31. Norway – Spirit in the sky What if Aqua came back – perish the thought – and, for their comeback single, took a rejected b-side from the late 90s of theirs in their typical bubblegum style, but injected it with a dreadful attempt at joik and an aesthetic inspired by their newfound animal spirits? It would sound something like this bizarre Norwegian song, whose victory over En livredd mann still bewilders me. It’s a bit infectious, but so are many diseases, and part of the reason that it buries itself into your mind is because of its pretty flagrant lifting of last year’s “Monsters”’ chorus, which in itself was all too familiar. One of the year’s biggest cringefests for me.

30. Lithuania – Run with the lions Take a guy most noted until now for screeching in the world’s worst falsetto whilst pretending not to sing, while a drag act that barely qualified as a baroness let alone a queen wás pretending to sing, also badly. Give him a song that advocates running alongside large carnivores who’d probably find humans an attractive snack. That combination should at least be interesting, but it’s one of the dullest propositions of the year. The only real interesting thing is that dodgy falsetto making a reappearance. It’s pleasant enough but forgotten instantly.

29. Russia – Scream Russia confined themselves to a few fruitless years in the desert with the Samojlova charade, and now they look to return to ESC superpower status by bringing back the guy who won them the public vote back in 2016. Their logic in trying to go one step further, though, was rather flawed. Concentrating on winning over the juries, they took for granted that the public was going to enjoy this rather melodramatic effort as much as they did You are the only one. I doubt they will, and I doubt the jury will be much swayed from last time. Musically, its orchestral touches represent a step up from YATOO for me, but it is let down by the emo lyrics and some bombastic staging.

28. Belarus – Like it When I first heard this song, where “you gonna like it” is repeated approximately 14 thousand times, my first impression was “no, I certainly am not going to.” It’s a bizarre stream of non-sequiturs dolled up with a technicolour assault to the eyes. I’ve softened to it somewhat, in part because of a reimagining of the lyrics as being a call for help after getting drafted into Eurovision by Lukaszenka, but I’ll still be stunned if it qualifies.

27. United Kingdom – Bigger than us I had a Freudian slip a few days ago when writing the “Undo my ESC” post – I wrote “Bigger than us” as “Better than us”. A fair swathe of the year’s field very much is more remarkable than this anodyne X factor winner’s single which seems to be aiming for 19th rather than first. Michael is a likeable character, but unfortunately that doesn’t come across too much in his live performance, most notable for him flapping around his arms as though they were on fire.

26. Iceland – Hatrið mun sigra Musically, there are elements of this that are really up my street. Decent throwbacks are rare, but the 80s’ techno ambience of the track is pretty good. I just wish it were not accompanied with a disdainful hauteur and the OTT attitude of a bunch of sophomore arts students who’ve just discovered irony. The last thing the world needs now is more hate, ironic or not.

25. Sweden – Too late for love Sweden made one step in the right direction this year – they’ve sent a man rather than an overgrown embryo, and someone with a bit more humility than Grosso last year. It’s a much better song for me than the past two attempts, but that’s not saying much – manufactured gospel has little soul, and there’s a charisma chasm here only partially filled by drafting in American mammas to sell the song as something more than what it is.

24. Poland – Pali się This is one that I wish I liked more. It’s middle of the pack for me. I like the fact that there are clear heritage influences but find the song itself to be rather too linear and the voices too shrill – and I am a fan of white voice.

23. Macedonia – Proud I had high hopes for Macedonia as I adored their artist, Tamara’s, imperious Brod što tone back in Skopjefest 2014 – a song that frankly got robbed of representing Macedonia. Where BST was subtle and poëtic in its message, Proud, which I regret wasn’t in Macedonian also, is rather too much on the nose for me and sounds a little like a charity single. This is augmented by the rather basic video which reminded me a little too much of Bebe’s “Ella.” Nonetheless, it’s a nice composition and well sung.

22. Spain – La venda Spain this year had a selection that they called “eurotemazos”. It’s difficult to translate, but Eurobangers, smashes or hits all carry a shade of the meaning. As soon as I heard that, I knew it was an ill omen, and indeed, the list of songs was full of bad attempts at bops and a few soporific ballads-by-computer. La venda was the best of a bad lot. Miki has energy but the song is completely inconsequential.

21. Germany – Sister Germany have once again invited disaster by inviting Chaosmeisterin, Barbara “Wild Eyes” Schönberger back to compère the national final. The end result was this inexperienced wildcard (when will you ever learn, Germany?) clinching the win with two gals who’d never met before this year singing about sisterhood in a group called S!sters with their song Sister. This is hotly tipped for last place in the final, but I feel it has sóme merit. The verses, and especially the bridge, are lovely, and seem to be building to something great – until we get a really generic, squawked chorus where the two non-sisters try to outshriek one another.

20. Australia – Zero gravity I’ll never get over the fact that we could have had something truly Australian in all senses of the word for once, and instead we got this. It’s catchy but repetitive and rather gimmicky, and I lament that it will qualify over better songs thanks to a rather cringey staging gimmick.

19. Belgium – Wake up This truly is a musical coitus interruptus. The moody verses get you in the mood, building a sense of urgency and direction, only for everything to get abandoned without warning with a very dreary, incongruous chorus. “City Lights” this ain’t, and it’s a shame, as it’s still decent, but could have been so much more satisfying.

18. Czechia – Friend of a friend Some countries take decades to find their niche at the contest. It seems like Czechia has found theirs in the space of a year and a bit, and found a particularly narrow niche. Field a cutesy lad with a retro-inspired, somewhat catchy but also somewhat problematic song inspired by infidelity. Last year’s “Lie to me” was written from the perspective of the cheated; this year’s, from a potential cheater who spends half the song listening with his girlfriend to his neighbours having noisy sex and the other half protesting he barely knows the female neighbour anymore. Truly weird.

17. Denmark – Love is forever This song reminds me of one time I was by the seaside and got offered to try a freakshake. It was one of the most OTT sweetest things I’ve ever had in my life. I enjoyed it, but it’s something I could only enjoy on an annual basis. This song is much the same. It’s bringing the Gallic cuteness where France failed, and the fact Leonora looks into your soul unnervingly whilst singing just adds more interest to the song for me.

16. Azerbaijan – Truth Azerbaijan bring a halfway decent song for the 2nd time so far, by my count. This is nowhere as near as good as “Skeletons”, but still strong. I like the atypical lyrical matter and the fact that the Symphonix crew created something contemporary but wearing Azeri traditional influences on its sleeve. The unplugged version of this is even better.

15. Netherlands – Arcade Perhaps I would enjoy this more were it not for the intense amount of hype, the hubristic arrogance of many people in thinking the win is already in the bag, and the amount of condescending barbs flung my way on other corners of the net for not considering this some transcendental masterpiece that deserves to win more than any other song. It’s not in the same league as the oft-compared, timeless Amar pelos dois for me. It’s a nice, heartfelt song – albeit one that relies too much on a head voice that I find rather unappealing – and it has a few clever turns of phrase, but I will never understand why this one has been singled out when there are several songs I consider more moving in this final.

14. Georgia – Sul tsin iare This song has really grown on me. It has an incredible, almost scary intensity and was written on an epic, orchestral scale. It feels like the music to the climax of a war film. I felt what it meant before I understood the Georgian. I particularly love the chorus backing Oto and the staging that matches the song’s drama.

13. Hungary – Az én apam I expected a lot of things from a Joci Papai return, and this song only delivers some of them, but it’s a song worthy of enjoying in its own right. If Origo was fire and had an undercurrent of hurt, Az én apam is water, but is warm in its own right. It’s a nostalgic song with the same poetry I expected of Joci.

12. Latvia – That night Latvia’s song has been criticised for not being very impactful, and it isn’t, but therein lies its charm. It’s a low-key, saudadic effort that beautifully occupies three minutes. It is the kind of track I imagine listening to whilst, and which makes me imagine as a result, driving down a long, lonely road at night in the rain. It’s hushed, it’s delicate, and it sounds to me like petrichor smells.

11. Greece – Better love Greece is sending something very atypical from them, almost as an allergic reaction to doing so badly with the more ostensibly ethnic “Oneiro mou” last year. I’d be disappointed, but this is really quite good indeed, a very professional and rounded effort that has produced a soaring, anthemic song. Katerine’s voice has a beautiful, dark and deep huskiness that imbues a certain quality too. My only problem with this song are the careless lyrics that seem like a compilation of Instagram clichés.

10. Ireland – 22 My dear Ireland sneaks into my top 10 for the first time in a few years thanks to a full-on earworm of a song that has become one of my most played tracks this year. This song is very simple, but sometimes unassuming simplicity is elegant. It’s got a retro, blue-eyed soul feel and is at once nostalgic and catchy. It deserved a lot better than the slot of death to which Björkman consigned it.

09. Malta – Chameleon Malta getting into my top 10 for the first time since 2014, with a song that is even more contrary to our expectations of Maltese songs than “Tomorrow” was. This song is aptly named, as it is an explosion of colour – not just in the clever video, but also, the music itself is so vibrant and fun. The only part I don’t like is the rather cliché bridge, because both the drop-based chorus, the slow build of the verses and the exuberant post-chorus are really good. GIVE ME X I’M A Y is one of the lyrical memes of the year and is infectious. From beige to a rainbow; well done, Malta.

08. Slovenia – Sebi Slovenia are on the money for the second year in a row. Whilst “Hvala ne” was an in your face, high-octane buzz of a song, this year, we’ve gone in the completely opposite direction: a very contemplative, intimate song that imbues a sense of peace and harmony. What they do have in common is some of the best lyrics of the year. In Sebi’s case, the text is graceful in its effortless simplicity and minimalism. It feels like the only thing that matters during those 3 minutes for the song’s performers are each other, which creates a particular atmosphere indeed.

07. Albania – Ktheju tokës When I heard the venerable Festival i këngës, Albania’s selection process, was essentially going to revamp itself, I was worried that it would lose its magic, but in the end, I needn’t have so much. For the second year running, the best song by far won – a song full of dramatic potential. Thank heavens they left the song in the wonderful mellifluous Albanian language and did not dig out the song’s heart with a needless revamp. I hope Shqipëria can keep this trend and momentum up. Ktheju tokës is a heartrending song about immigration and divided families, inspired by true experience, and performed with power and style by the enigmatic Jonida.

06. Armenia – Walking out Another country for whom I have a lot of time at the contest is Armenia, who always tend to bring something different to the show. I was initially a bit confused by their effort this year because of its abrupt stops between different parts of the song which at first sounded rather jarring. Now, this, and the great variation in tone and style between the verses, the gentle bridge and the ferocious choruses are part of what make the song for me. Srbuk has charisma and a fierce set of pipes. All these elements have made Walking out one of the major earworms of the year for me.

05. Austria – Limits The first time I heard this, I was underwhelmed. It’s a nice song, but it is lacking a bit in instant impact. Nonetheless, something about it demanded repeated listens; with each one, my appreciation for this confessional, Kate Bush-inspired slice of heartrending emotion grew exponentially. I am hoping that the live performance will give it the instancy it needs to bring to life how exceptionally good a song this is. It’s up there with the very best in terms of the lyrics. It’s so personal, so intimate, so searing and one of the most underrated tracks of the year. 04. Serbia – Kruna Pretty much everyone who knows my ESC predilections knows I am a huge fan of Serbia. They generally stick with their own language, and bring songs that highlight their rich musical traditions. My support isn’t categorical – I despised “Beauty never lies” and felt let down by last year’s style pastiche, though I felt Balkanika were wonderful contestants – so this year, I was relieved to see them back at the height of their powers with an unassumingly lovely ballad, performed with power and purpose by the mesmerising Nevena. It’s a song of few words, and it feels like every single one was weighed out carefully to pack the most meaning. Delightful.

03. Romania – On a Sunday One of the biggest surprises of the season for me has been Romania. I had no interest in their national selection, and was nonplussed when this won, albeit grateful that it beat two truly dreadful frontrunners. My first impression was that it was an odd but catchy song, and that it was weird and a little funny how the grown woman singing it seemed to throw a tantrum in the middle of the performance. Something about it made me listen again, and again, and again – and then the amazingly theatrical and imaginative video came out, which added to my appreciation even more. It’s a really emotional song, which somehow invigorates rather than saddens me, perhaps because of the bewitching power of Ester’s performance. She delivers this with an unbelievable intensity and has such a singular voice. I fear for its chances because it’s not the most accessible song – but I really hope this will at least qualify.

02. Portugal – Telemóveis I remember my first reäction to this well. I was confused and a little perturbed – it seemed like the rantings of a madman over highly dissonant, if rather bewitching, music. It stuck in my head, though, and very soon, the confusion grew into appreciation and then full on love for probably the most singular, sui generis offering of the entire year. This is a song that sounds timeless but futuristic; that could not have been composed by any other country, but which blends influence of fado with sounds from the subcontinent, the near and far east and what seem to be other planets. The text – all too often dismissed as “lol he’s singing about cellphones, how random lmao” – is a deep, introspective, metaphorical look at mortality that is gushing with saudade. The fact that this, the most forward-thinking proposal of 2019, might not even qualify is scandalous; it should be in it to win it.

01. Italy – Soldi As much as I adore Telemóveis, there’s a song that I love even more. The first time I saw Soldi performed live, it was like a punch to the gut in the best possible way. This song about a deadbeat dad and how money can tear a family apart is just one example of how Italy is brimming with exceptional lyricists. I’d translate some of my favourite lyrics, but firstly, I find every line to be powerfully moving, and secondly, the English can’t quite do justice to the perfectly measured rhythm and cadence of the original as well as the emotion. On top of that, musically, it’s one of the freshest tracks of the year, with super modern production but symphonic touches. Who thinks of making a trap-inspired song, but with an orchestra? Italy, that is who, and I so, so hope they finish this barnstormer of a decade for them with a much awaited win.

[coltii-romanesti]

NAME:   Vladimir Mihai Popescu

NICKNAME:  Vlad

AGE: Appears to be roughly 25, but has been around a little over 2000 years

SPECIES: Nation

PERSONAL.

MORALITY: Decent, though he has had a few questionable moments throughout history

RELIGION: Like many in his country, he is Romanian Orthodox. However, he does partake in some gypsy costums as well as his old pagan roots from time to time

SINS:   greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath

VIRTUES:   chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

KNOWN LANGUAGES: Romanian, Bulgarian, German, Russian, Slavic, Czech, Serbian, Italian, French, English, Hungarian

PHYSICAL.

BUILD:  scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average

HEIGHT:   5'8"

SCARS:  Multiple across his back from whips, a large one in the center of his chest and back from being impaled with a spear, some on his legs, arms, and a few bullet scars on his abdomen and shoulders

ABILITIES  /  POWERS: Immortality, nation abilities, writer, dancer

RESTRICTIONS:  fear of abandonment, a desire to please everyone

FAVORITES.

FOOD: Țuică, Wine, Minced meat pies, pasta of most kinds, almost anything savory

PIZZA TOPPING: meat lovers (basically all meat toppings), peppers, onions

COLOUR:  navy blue, soft yellow

MUSIC GENRE:  alternative, jazz, ragtime (believe it or not), folk traditional

MOVIE GENRE:  comedy, fantasy, adventure

CURSE WORD:  fuck

SCENTS:  chopped wood, old books, wax candles

FUN STUFF.

BOTTOM OR TOP: switch, though usually top

SINGS IN THE SHOWER: YES

LIKES PUNS: yes

TAGGED BY: @irish-emerald

TAGGING: Any and all~!

[irish-emerald]

NAME:   Aednat O'Connell

NICKNAME:  Ena

AGE: old as hell

SPECIES: Nation

PERSONAL.

MORALITY: pretty good but has her bad moments

RELIGION: Her country's major religion is Catholic but she is personally pagan

SINS:   greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath

VIRTUES:   chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

KNOWN LANGUAGES: Irish, English, Lithuanian, Latvian, German, Dutch, Swedish, Danish, Icelandic, Norwegian, French, Spanish, Italian, Romanian, Portuguese, Polish, Russian, Japanese, Thai, Hungarian, Turkish, Estonian

PHYSICAL.

BUILD:  scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average

HEIGHT:   5'4"

SCARS:  Multiple across her back, chest, arms and legs

ABILITIES  /  POWERS: Immortality, nation abilities, professional step dancer

RESTRICTIONS:  fear of abandonment

FAVORITES.

FOOD: Whiskey, shepherds pie, stew, Guinness, soft fries

PIZZA TOPPING: meat lovers (basically all meat toppings)

COLOUR:  green and yellow

MUSIC GENRE:  folk, rock, alternative

MOVIE GENRE:  fantasy, horror, thriller

CURSE WORD:  fuck

SCENTS:  fresh cut flowers and baked sweets

FUN STUFF.

BOTTOM OR TOP: switch

SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes

LIKES PUNS: yes

TAGGED BY: @koffiehuis-love

TAGGING: @ehrendame @bastardofbrooklyn @coltii-romanesti anyone else who wants to do it!!

[romanian-aesthetic]

The Carnival of Flowers has reached its 13th edition! 

The Carnival is a Hungarian-Romanian project coordinated by the Main Halls of Oradea (Romania) and Debrecen (Hungary). Every year, a number of floral carts depart from Debrecen to Oradea, where they make the delight of locals who watch as they parade down the streets all the way to the downtown, accompanied by cheerleaders, urban or even folklore dancers.

The theme of the carts seems to change every year, but the classical ones are the carts of St. Stephen (pictured here, as the Hungarian Crown) and the Hungarian folk dances.

In the evening, before the carts leave Oradea, a musical programme is hosted in the main Union Square, the 2018′s edition highlight being the Budapest Gypsy Symphony Orchestra.

[reebasankarathil01-blog]

Blog 1

Greece was the location that I chose to do for this project. Greece is located in the southern part of Europe. Greeks are the majority make up of Greece but some minorities are Albanians, Romanians, Macedonians and much more. Greek is the official language that is spoken throughout the country Greece. Majority of people speak the language of Orthodox Christians make up a majority of ethnicities of Greece but amongst the minorities is made of people that follow the religion of Islam. Greek music divides into two categories, traditional Greek music and Byzantine music. The folk music that I will be studying is in the 19th century period when the Greek war of independence was occurring. I will be studying a popular form of folk dance music called Sirtaki or Syrtaki. This type of dance music is used for celebrations. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=30&v=CbmbSjeUrxc 

This is a dance that includes both genders and they move in a 4/4 tempo and 2/4. The dance has slow and fast pace parts and the formation of the dancers can be in a line or circle. The types of instruments that are used in Sirtaki are bouzoukis and mandolins. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx-a_17OVc4 

Bouzoukis are an instrument that is known as ancient greek instrument, it has been around for a while. It is a six stringed instrument and has a very long neck. It is spaced to provide 12-tone equal temperament 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6exNzIfcUM 

Mandolins are instruments that fall into the woodwinds family. They are generally plucked and not stringed. 

Ancient Greeks believed that melody without rhythm is “disordered and dark” but when rhythm is added it creates energetic feeling. Rhythms were measured with two distinct values called "times": the long and the short one, which often corresponded to the long and short vowels. Their symbols were: long and short. The ratio of long to short time was not a fixed value. In some occasions the ratio was 1:2 and at others it was 1:1½ (or 2:3). We have no knowledge of how the use of the first or second ratio was determined. In later Greek music tradition, as well as in other Eastern Mediterranean cultures, we often encounter the 1:1½ ratio, which leads us to the assumption that it must have been very common in ancient Greece as well. 

The word “meter” is called “podes” in Greek Music they essentially mean the same thing. 

http://opsopaus.com/OM/BA/GEM/index.html 

[gussolomonsjrtest]

BODYTRAFFIC

BodyTraffic brought its nine-dancer company to the Joyce Theater from home-base, Los Angeles (March 1-6), with a concise program of four dances that aim to please. The choreography highlights rhythmic articulation, jazzy syncopation, dynamic surprises, and freely utilizes lip-syncing and bits of mime, inspired by the music, arguably without falling into the trap of illustrating it.

The director, Tina Finkelman Burkett, and many of the dancers are native New Yorkers, many Juilliard grads, so the work has a New York edge, albeit not exactly edginess.

The opening dance, a world premiere, “The One to Stay With,” by Amadi ‘Baye’ Washington and Sam ‘Asa’ Pratt, who come by their rhythmic acuity from working with Akram Khan and Kyle Abraham, among others, features a smartly edited, Slavic-sounding score, by sound designer Jack Grabow. The music includes, “The Snowstorm: Waltz” by Tchaikowsky, “On the Hills of Manchuria,” played by Russian Brass Band and a Romanian folk dance by Bela Bartok, played by Andrew Rangell.

The dance begins with a trio of dancers surrounding a glowing, white half-sphere, inna cone of light downstage left, and a solo woman in white, up right, gesturing urgently but frantically in place. As people come and go through the space in different configurations, you ask, Where are they going and why? The pace remains brisk with momentary couplings and groupings; tenseness builds, until finally, the glowing bowl brightens from within, and a pailful of water spills from above, dousing the light and abruptly ending the dance. Imaginatively understated costumes by Oana Botes and lighting by Michael Jarrett add to the atmosphere, but I guess that wasn’t “the one to stay with” after all.

Guzman Rosado ane Tina Finkelman Berkett in "(d)elusive minds"

After an extended pause for a set change, the curtain rises on an expansive, stage-wide writer’s den, choreography and set design by Fernando Hernando Magadan, where tortured writer Guzman Rosado vainly attempts to compose a masterpiece. His writing chair is flanked by drifts of discarded paper, like snowbanks. His (d)elusive muse, Tina Finkelman Burkett, taunts him until he dispatches her and apparently receives the flash of inspiration he’s seeking, and the Peter Lemmens’s lighting flashes brightly before disappearing.

After intermission comes SNAP, another New York premier, choreographed by Micaela Taylor, set to the cleverly, heavily edited music of James Brown – “This is a Man’s World,” “Super Bad,” et al – edited by Shockey and lit percussively by Burke Wilmore in a way that enhances the beat of the music.

BODYTRAFFIC in SNAP

The company’s only Black male dancer portrays Brown in his opening solo, mimicking Brown’s signature, manic moves, which infect the rest of them, as well as the relatively youthful Joyce audience. This New York premiere would make a perfectly satisfying closer, and many of the audience members take it as such and head out during the scene change. But wait, there’s more. The closing dance, “Pacopepepluto” by Alejandro Cerrudo, is a triptych of male solos set to retro oldies by Dean Martin: “Memories are made of his,” “In the Chapel in the Moonlight,” and That’s Amore,”

Joan Rodriguezin PACOPEPEPLUTO

The three men, Cuban Joan Roderiguez, Portuguese Perdo Garcia, and Spaniard Rosado, alternating performances with upstate New Yorker Joseph Davis, all in dance belts, lit skillfully by Matthew Miller, making their skin look more Black than Latin, feels redundant, like a second dessert after the delicious meal is done.

photos by Tomasz Rossa

Gus Solomons jr, © 2022

[ejnsofi]

Eurovision 2018 - 2nd semifinal

Norway: Alexander Rybak is back to play invisible instruments.I swear... he can even make heavy metal song about tea making and I would still love it

Romania: Rock ballad and members of White Romanian Anonymous

Serbia:Techno folk priest started really well with his Charlie's Angles and REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC DRUMMER

San Marino: Ariel, is it you?! It felt like lip synch battle with tiny robots from Winter Olympics 2018.

Denmark: Resurrected Vikings decided to take what is theirs on Eurovision in snow storm. Me likey

Russia: "I won't break" while sitting on iceberg is at least half-symbolic. BUT DANCERS HOLY SHIT. The best supporting squad since Plushenko

Moldova: Moldovian themed evening in 1920s with awkward dancing moves. OMG they have costumes which look like Moldovian flag!

Netherlands: Dutch country with really enthusiastic musicians/dancers/party starters

Australia: Dancing mermaid sings new song to next Bridget Jones movie

Georgia: Oh fuck! Rufus Sewell leads Caucasian answer to Il Volo

Poland: Hats, fireworks and awkward dance

Malta: She is like ninja from alternative, very electronic dimension

Hungary: Hungary played it like an anime opening. As usual. AND FIREWORKS!

Latvia: Lana Del Rey decided to make song to 4th instalment of 50 shades of Grey trilogy

Sweden: Swedish Justin Timberlake is apparently a huge fan of Mans Zelmerlow's Eurovision performace

Montenegro: It was like Balkan version of "My heart will go on"

Slovenia: I'm still confused. It was acid trip in one of Lloret de Mar clubs including powercut

Ukraine: Is it coffin? Is it piano? Is he piano-playing vampire? IT BURNS. Well done Ukraine! You got an A in "How to do Eurovision"