#RenewedResolve

[elysianwing]

Rising Promises

I found a tattered notebook, I recall the promises… the naïve scribblings. However, the words are faded now, completely indistinguishable amidst the lined papers. No one shall see the broken ambitions from a time of hope. The failed experiments performed in a carefree housing. Time will never get my best though, my memory is still intact. A reminder of the discrepancies between me and myself. When potential was abundant… when confidence soared. Before reality sunk in like the sun deep into the horizon. The sun always returns though…. as if in defiance of the sky. It won't secede…neither shall I. I wonder if the time will come that I may surface again. With newfound resolve in my eyes, fresh from the recoil. You can't keep me down forever, I won't be stopped from rising again. Written 6/26/03 @ 2:20am by Alexander Learmont https://www.patreon.com/Elysianwing

[365onward]

Day 29 of 365

Today was pretty blah.  I didn't even really try to get out of bed to go to the gym this morning.  I woke up when my alarm buzzed at six and promptly reset it to 9:00 am and went back to sleep. After that I was pretty sluggish and grumpy all day, which is not the best setting on the Simon machine.   I also did a big closet clean up and packed away a bunch of clothes that are way too big for me now.  I couldn't bring myself ton throw them away and I don't really know why.  So i packed them up in an old steamer trunk and I think at the end of the year (335 days from today) I will get them out and see how far I have really come.  

Breakfast: A banana with fat-free peach yogurt and a 12oz can of Orange Juice.

Lunch: I ate a big ass cookie at a meeting I went to, but then for lunch went to Chipotle and got a burrito bowl with no cheese and no sour cream.  But yes to guacamole because avocados have the unique ability to make life worth living. 

Dinner: For dinner I was craving Thai or Indian food so bad I thought I might die.  So I took some minced cauliflower and cooked it with curry paste, ginger, siracha, and garam masala.  Then I added about two cups of home-made vegetable soup and voila! I had an Indian flavoured meal with way less calories, fat and cost.  Yay me!

Snacks: The chocolate chip and regret cookie, 3oz of cheese.

Best moment: After not going to the gym for two days I felt like garbage.  I was even worried I might be slumping into the start of a "if I cannot do this perfectly then I will punish myself with french fries" mood.  But writing this the next day after going to the gym I think I can truly say that the gym is my most potent anti-depressant to date (ie: nothing before except wine and pizza).