#Red hood as he’s attaching a sidecar to his bike: HES NOT MY DAMN KID

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

How to Marvelously piss off a Bat: A Guide by Billy Batson, Pt 1

Bruce: Hint at anything and everything prophetic, alternate futures or timelines where something goes horribly wrong. The sheer amount of stress will piss him off, weather its true or not.

Ex:

Billy: Well, this could be worse…

Batman: Superman is flinging himself into buildings high on fear gas, how does this get any worse chum?

Billy: Well hes not murdering his wife or lasering my eyes out right now so we’re definitely in the better timeline

Bruce: he’s not What now

Dick: Midair super-speed pokes. The slightest jab at the side, ankle, or even knuckle mid leap or drive freaks him out and leaves him fumbling a lot.

Ex:

Nightwing, happily summersaulting off buildings preparing to grapple to another mid flip: It’s a bird, its a plane, its the Lord Gray-

Captain Marvel, gaining righteous revenge for his bowl of marshmallow only lucky charms: (Pokes the back of his right knee) bop

Nightwing, now clutching his right knee 57 stories up: so-IIIIIEEEEEE

Jason: Stick a plunger on that crome dome of a helmet, bonus anger points if its during a meeting or in front of people he’s trying to intimidate

Ex:

The Red Hood, scourge of Gothams criminal underworld, in a meeting with his lieutenants: Next thing on our agenda-

The Red Hood, now with 3 plungers stuck to his helmet: We- what the hell

The Hoodlum from the warehouse rafters: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR SELLING ME OUT TO BATMAN JERK FACE!!!

Hood, taking a plunger off and pointing it at Hoodlum: I KNOW 17 WAYS TO KILL YOU WITH THIS THING YOU LITTLE SHIT, SO YOU’VE GOT 17 SECONDS TO RUN!!

Tim: Mutter something sounding like a vague hex within his proximity, he’ll think you cursed him if he knows you’re petty enough. Basically a magical non-magical psych out

Ex:

Tim, very tired: I am not helping you beat Damians score on Cheese Viking Billy, that goblin will know you cheated and then its my head on the same stick as yours.

Billy, muttering under his breath while walking away: oi karpoí tou kópou sou na xekinísoun sto stóma sou (may the fruits of your labor sour in your mouth)

Tim, understanding the Greek and that billy has ties to Greek gods and magic: *panik*

@thefantasmarex