#Reception Dance | KTH | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

solarwonux · 2 years ago

Text

Epitaph || kth (8/?)

pairing: Taehyung x f!reader || roommates!au

w.c: 11.1k

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, co-parenting!au, fwb!au, non idol!au

Warnings: suggestive language, voyerism (if you like squint) they’re so in love it hurts, nudity, office sex, unprotected sex, cock warming (if you squint), semi edited

Synopsis: In memory of the man Kim Taehyung used to be. Caught up and lost in a continuous cycle searching for something that was already there.

Reeling you into a mess that you never asked for because all you wanted was to feel complete and happy.

a/n: HELLO, SHE’S HERE, THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM. I'm sorry it literally took me like half a year to write this, but lots of shit has happened in my life. And I was very uncomfortable every time I sat to write smut because of something that happened to me earlier in the year. But I’m better now. I’m healing in all ways that I can. And this is one of them. So I hope you enjoy it!

prev || next

Before

February 2015

It’s a bit poetic to have your wedding on the day dedicated to celebrating not just romantic love but all kinds of love–Valentine’s Day. But what else would you expect from Choi Jiwoo and Kim Namjoon? They were literally the physical embodiments of the word love.

So, when the invitation arrived at yours and Taehyung’s door step, three months after the engagement. Surprised was not the emotion you felt, nor was shock. Only happiness and relief because finally after years of parading their close to perfect relationship for the world to see–not that any of you minded their love in the purest form always gave a sense of hope–but they were finally tying the knot.

Officially, that is. Before the engagement they drunkenly got married in the back of a McDonalds in front of Namjoon’s Toyota Corolla with beaming headlights. You were a bridesmaid and Hoseok was the officiant. Yoongi and Taehyung were there but for the life of you, you could not remember what role they played. Just that you wanted the entire thing over with so you can finally eat your caramel sundae.

But the day had arrived. All morning the nerves were at an all time high and Jiwoo’s saddened look failed to leave her beautiful face until she walked down the aisle and met her husband-to-be. Whispers on the street was that her brother was nowhere to be found. Though, that could’ve been just your imagination. In the years that you have known Jiwoo she had never once mentioned having a brother. So, you brushed that aside and concluded that it was all due to nerves.

At least that’s what she said when you asked her about it while she was getting her hair and make up done.

Even so, whatever it was didn’t matter anymore. The ceremony was a success, despite Namjoon crying the entire time and absolutely breaking down during his vows. The ceremony was a success and the reception was winding down along with your energy. Your feet were in absolute pain and the tight dress you were wearing was starting to become uncomfortable to the point that it was affecting your mood.

“Here you go.”

A hand with a water bottle appears in front of you shaking you from your thoughts. You blink looking up to find Taehyung in front of you, blocking your perfect view from the newly wedded couple who had been engrossed in eachother, stupidly slow dancing to a fast song for the past five songs.

“Thanks.” You grin, taking the bottle from it, breaking the cap and taking a sip from it. “They’re so gross.” You shudder, placing your bottle down on the table and sneakily pointing to the couple, twisting your face in fake disgust.

Taehyung looks behind him and shakes his head before looking back at you and chuckling at your expression. “They’re in love, what do you expect?”

You shrug, placing your feet on top of the chair next to you. You had half a mind to just take off your heels if it wasn’t so socially unacceptable. “Better dance moves, anything other than that.” You point, cringing when they take turns to pepper each other’s faces with kisses.

“I think it's adorable.” Taehyung adds, leaning down and grabbing a hold of your legs before lifting them up and sitting down. He doesn’t hesitate to place when on top of his lap. The tiny slit of your champagne colored bridesmaid dress falls over his lap, draping down his leg. Exposing your skin to his soft brown eyes. They only linger there for a second, enough to not let his thoughts wander, before he switches his focus to the table's centerpiece.

He’s never seen Hydrangeas as interesting as these ones.

The sound of your scoff brings him back, and he’s right back where he started. Admiring you up close, yet still feeling so far away. “What?” He cocks his head to the side. By now his fingers have started kneading the back of your calves. Like they have a mind of their own and subconsciously know that you're in pain. Though, what would you expect? Taehyung practically did this every night after you came home from work and kicked off your shoes. The sighs you would let out were his absolute favorite.

“Nothing,” you wave him off before crossing your arms in front of you, slightly pushing your cleavage up and out. He knows you’re not doing this on purpose but what else is he supposed to think? Anything you do sends him over the edge.

“It’s just that of course you would find their love fest adorable.” You add, sending him a sly smirk. You’re teasing him and he hates it when you do because no matter what he always falls for your bait.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His fingers walk up your leg slowly. Your skin is so soft and he has to stop himself from imagining what the rest of your body would feel like underneath his touch. Would it ignite like a wildfire? Or would it flicker like a dying flame? He knows he won’t ever find out so that’s why he just wonders.

“You’re a hopeless romantic Tae. You’ve watched The Notebook like eighty times and you’re the only single person who actually gets excited for Valentine’s Day.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. His fingers stop on top of your knee, spreading out until his palm is resting firmly on top of your knee cap. It sends a shiver up your spine, one you try your best to hide by repositioning yourself in the plastic chair.

“Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love. I like celebrating it because it gives me an excuse to openly show my love and appreciation for everyone that I care about…like you.” He pauses and looks up at you through his eyelashes. The mere action makes your knees go weak. It also doesn’t help that he’s recently dyed his hair blonde and he looks like a Disney prince personified. Truly, you have to thank the heavens for being sat down because coming up with an excuse for falling would be nearly impossible since blaming it on the alcohol was not an option.

“And what’s wrong with watching The Notebook eighty times. It’s a great movie.” He adds, crossing his arms in front of him like a little kid.

You giggle, slightly shaking your head. “See only hopeless romantics think The Notebook is a great movie.” You say pointedly, poking his side with the tip of your shoe making him pout.

“Oh my angel, who broke your heart to make you think this way?” He sighs, dramatically, placing a hand over his heart faking mock hurt.

You roll your eyes and lean forward resting your elbows on top of your thighs and resting your chin on your open palm. “No one, because I’ve never been in love, Tae.” You smile, sending him a wink before sitting back in your chair again.

That’s a bold face lie if you’ve ever seen one, but you weren’t going to tell the man in front of you that he’s been the sole owner of your heart since that December night. Nope, confessing was not an option. It would overcomplicate things not only for you but for him and the rest of your friends. In all honesty, you were okay with loving him from afar. Even if sometimes it hurts whenever you help him get ready for his dates. Dates that never led to anything and it always left you wondering why?

Taehyung was a catch. A hopeless romantic and always attentive to every tiny little detail. He was a listener when he needed to be. But at the same time he was a person that gave amazing advice when it was asked of him. He loved to celebrate people, always going above and beyond to make sure they knew they were special. Even if it was just to him. Plus he gave awesome foot massages and knew how to cook at least three good meals. That’s more than you can say for some of the men you’ve met in your life.

The million dollar question was why was he still single?

“That’s a shame, it would be an honor to love and be loved by you.” He says casually. Like his heart and your heart aren’t threatening to explode out of your chests.

Did he just confess without meaning to confess? Did he just blow his cover? Maybe you won’t notice? You weren’t drunk but he did see you sneak in that one Gin and Tonic at the beginning of the reception, just before dinner. Maybe that was enough to do the job?

“Hmm, I guess I haven’t found the right person yet?” You sigh.

“Or you haven’t looked hard enough.” He lightly squeezes your knees before letting his fingers trail down your leg again. Slowly, his index finger circles around the buckle of your shoe sitting soundlessly against your ankle. His eyes are boring holes into yours, attentive and enough to catch the gulp you swallow. He feels hot, but maybe it’s the dim lights and the slow song now playing in the background. All that he knows is that there’s something flowering between the two of you tonight and it could go one of two ways.

It could end in a burning flame or paradise.

A part of him is desperate to find out.

“Maybe I don’t want to look.” You bite your lip and sit up. Your hand comes and lands on top of his unoccupied one resting on top of the table. Your manicured nail toys with the ring on his middle finger as your tongue pokes out, swiping the remaining flavor of your lemonade away.

It has to be the stupid post wedding atmosphere that’s make you feel reckless. Like you want to make a mistake and not care about the consequences until you absolutely have to face them. Either way, whatever it is the next words you mutter over the slow reverb of the song playing in the background are way too bold and enough to be considered out of character.

Still you said them because you wanted to say them, with your head held high. “Want to get out of here?”

“Angel, I thought you’d never ask.”

Kissing Taehyung was nothing like you had ever imagined because it was better than what you had imagined.

His lips were soft, molded with yours in perfect symmetry and he took his time to explore every inch of your mouth with his tongue. He held you close like he was afraid that you would disappear into thin air. That’s how it had been the entire hour long taxi ride from the reception venue to your apartment. His lips danced with yours in perfect harmony, only pulling away for air and when the driver announced that your destination had been reached. And if you weren’t so drunk off of Taehyung’s lips you would’ve apologized profusely for such a public display of affection. Even if you wanted to, Taehyung didn’t let you because after paying the driver he was practically dragging you out of the cab and into the lobby of your apartment building.

Your lips were only apart for a minute and it felt like a whole eternity. When the elevator arrived he was pinning you against the wall and trailing his lips down your neck. Earning the softest whimpers and that only motivated him to continue doing so. It continued like that, only pulling away from each other until it was absolutely necessary, crashing into hallway walls and giggling like teenagers. You fumbled when putting in the code to unlock your door. Taehyung had taken it upon himself to tickle the back of your neck by softly blowing at it. Chuckling at your frustration every time you got it wrong. It was driving you absolutely insane. In the best way possible.

When you finally got the door to unlock, he turned you around to face him, one hand resting on your lower back while the other cradled your chin. He licked his lips, taking the slight residue of your remaining red lipstick with him. The entire night he couldn’t take the image of your lips painting his body with red. It was slightly smudged now, most of it on his lips. Still you looked so beautiful to him, with your perfectly styled hair sticking up in places his hands had been in. Your eyes were blown up wide in lust and the thin straps of your dress were falling down. Just like they had been the entire night, but this time you did nothing in your power to fix them.

What the two of you were doing was wrong on so many levels. Neither of you had an excuse as to why it was happening because neither of you had had a drop of alcohol tonight. This was something you wanted. Had wanted for years and you can only assume with the way Taehyung was looking at you right now. He wanted it too.

“We shouldn’t do this.” You say breathlessly, hooking your arms around his neck. Your words and actions were contradicting and he understood exactly why because in his mind he was having the same battle with his heart.

“Mhm, I know.” He agrees, dipping his head down and capturing your lips in a soft kiss before pulling away. “My room or yours?”

You click your tongue rolling yours, pulling his head closer letting your lips hover over his own. “I don’t care, just want you.” You say before kissing him desperately. Unlike him you’re different. The second you want something you want it instantly. And you’ve been fighting against yourself for years every time it came to Taehyung, and you’ve just decided that you’re done fighting.

He kisses you back, matching your rhythm and fever while he picks you up, letting your legs wrap around his waist. He carefully moves through the apartment, having memorized the layout after years of living here with you, and kicks open his bedroom door. Silently thanking his past self for deciding to pick up everything earlier today. Carefully, he places you on top of his bed before pulling away.

“Are you sure about this?” He asks, resting one of his knees on the edge of his bed, tilting his head to the side. He feels overwhelmed, like he doesn’t know if he should keep going or where he should start because you’re in his bed. You’re underneath his glow in the dark star filled ceiling, with your dress riding up and your boobs threatening to spill over your low neckline. You’re soft eyes are burning into his his and he knows he asked a stupid question but he needs to hear you say it again before he lets his carnal desires take over.

You sit up on your elbows, biting your bottom lip. He’s giving you a way out before it’s too late. You know that if you are to say no now, the next day the two of you will go about your days acting as if nothing happened. But is that what you want?

Your mind is so clear, it’s stopped fighting against your heart the second the two of you entered the apartment. So it’s settled, nothing will stop you from giving yourself away to the only man that’s ever managed to capture your heart. “Yes, I trust you. I want this. I want you, nothing can change my mind.” You emphasize.

It’s like music to his ears. Hearing you say those magic words so freely. It’s better than anything he’s ever imagined. So, he stops fighting himself and lets the part that’s been yours since the moment he laid eyes on you take over.

Even if it’s just for tonight. You’re his and he’s yours.

He’s crawling on top of you faster than you can process anything and slowly pushes you down. His face is right in front of yours, and you can’t stop yourself from admiring in this way. He’s always been beautiful to you, but right now he looks like an angel incarnate. Everything about him is perfect from the black of his growing roots, to the little mole on the tip of his nose, and to his lips.

It almost feels like a dream come true. And you know you won’t ever forget this night because the next words that he says are unforgettable. “I trust you too, more than you will ever know.”

Taehyung knows he shouldn’t do it, but how else is he going to survive the rest of the night?

That’s just a poor excuse and he knows it.

“Do you ever feel like there’s something missing in your life?” Taehyung asks, opening up the second bottle of white wine that night. You're sitting up with your back against the headboard of his bed with his thin gray sheets covering your naked body.

It’s been three hours and he’s lost count on how many rounds the two of you have gone. Truth is the two of you wouldn’t have stopped if you hadn’t run out of condoms. So, Taehyung proposed running down to the local pharmacy to buy more, which is where he saw the bottles of wine. He did very little to fight against the little voice in his head and bought them anyway, going against his better judgment.

“I’m naked in your bed and you’re asking me about the meaning of life?” You hold out your glass to him, sitting up, holding his sheets tight against your chest.

Taehyung rolls his eyes pouring you a full glass before resting the bottle on his bedside table. He had three glasses, that was his limit. Or at least the limit in which it wouldn't be considered a full relapse, even if he’s already feeling the regret in the pit of his stomach. “Now, that’s a different question entirely.” He smirks, sitting down next to you, placing his arms around your waist and pulling you into his body. “I asked if you ever feel like there’s something missing in your life?”

You scoff, taking a sip from your wine before setting it down on the table beside his bed. “It’s practically the same thing Tae.”

“Ehh, I beg to differ.” He offers you a grin before kissing your lips lightly. “I’m still waiting for your answer.” He whispers against them before pulling away, chuckling at the shock written all over your face.

It’s amazing how this action is the one that stops you dead in your tracks and not when his head was buried in between your legs barely an hour ago. Though, you shake that thought away as quickly as it seeped into your mind. Your body was finally starting to feel the side effects of having sex nonstop for nearly three hours, and as much as you want his mouth and tongue to give you one of the most mind blowing orgasms you’ve ever had. Your body wouldn’t be able to take it any longer.

“Not really.” You smile, placing your chin on top of his chest, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “I think if you would’ve asked me this years ago I would’ve given you a laundry list of things I found missing in my life. But lately I’ve been pretty content with it.”

Taehyung hums in acknowledgment. His fingers have slowly found their way underneath his sheets and onto your lower back, but he doesn’t move them any further. Despite the dirty things he whispered in your ear while pounding into you. He’s still a gentleman…somewhat.

“Fine, I’ll take it.” He sighs, pouting, faking disappointment. You giggle at his actions, poking his protruding lips with your index finger, letting him plant a kiss on the tip of it. “Then…what do you want most in the world?”

You pause letting your fingers fall onto his chin. It’s a question you’ve asked yourself before. The answer used to change depending on where you were in life but lately every time you find yourself thinking about it. The answer always remains the same.

“To be a mom.”

Your revelation shouldn’t surprise Taehyung. In a way he feels like he knew that would be your answer. Still, it makes his stomach churn with butterflies and the only thing he can picture is you pregnant with his baby.

Fuck he needs more wine.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s kind of impossible right now.” You brush off, halting his imagination.

“Wait, why?” He asks, dumbfounded.

You sit up, raising your eyebrows at him confused. Taehyung is smart, he’s a fucking CEO for crying outloud and this isn’t one of those math problems that were impossible to solve. It’s as simple as one and two.

“I kind of need someone’s sperm in order to make a baby.” You deadpan, growing slightly annoyed with the confused look on his face.

“I have a pretty healthy sperm count angel.” He says putting an arm underneath his head, while the other reels you in, making your body fall softly on top of his. “Just say the word and I’ll give you a baby.” He smiles smugly, letting his hand wander down your back before grabbing a handful of your ass.

So much for being a gentleman.

You gape at him, unsure if he’s joking or not. You’ve never actually witnessed a drunk Taehyung and you’re positive that three half glasses isn’t enough to get a person drunk. But maybe this is why he doesn’t drink. He’s a lightweight who starts speaking nonsense. Honestly, he might as well start speaking in tongues to you because this is crazy.

“You’re fucking with me are you insane?” You try to sit up, but he doesn’t let you, his hold on you gets tighter.

“Maybe…but I’m so serious. Tell me and I’ll fuck a baby into you.”

“Taehyung, do you know what you’re saying? Having sex is fun, but being a parent is something entirely different plus we aren’t in a long term relationship. So many things can go wrong.” The sternness in your voice should scare enough to make him take back his offer. But there are only a few things in life that Taehyung has ever been sure about with his entire soul.

He’s decided tonight that this one happens to be one of them. “I know, and I want this. You’re my best friend angel, and there’s no one in the world I would rather be a parent with than with you. So, just say the word and I’ll do it.”

He shouldn’t be this good at convincing you. No, you shouldn’t be actually considering it, and fuck you really wish you could blame it on the white wine. But nothing about this situation is hazy or feels out of place.

It’s scary how right it feels. How everything about tonight felt right, like it was meant to happen. And maybe it was. Maybe it wast meant to happen years ago on that December night.

“Let’s do it Tae, let’s have a baby then.”

March 2015

You would think that after finally getting married, Namjoon and Jiwoo would be off on some fancy honeymoon island destination. But instead they opted out for two weeks out in the countryside. The two of them coming back sunburned to the point that their skin was hot to the touch.

And after living with Namjoon’s parents for three weeks, due to the pipes leaking in their newly rented apartment. Jiwoo was finally happy to be able to host a newlywed, welcome home slash house warming party.

Or barbecue on the rooftop of their apartment building. All decorated by the one and only bride herself. String lights hung from one side to the other, a small rusted red grill that you were sure had just been sitting out in the sun forgotten for years. And an inflatable kiddie pool, because according to the wedded couple, a barbecue would never be complete without a pool.

Though because there weren’t any lounge chairs, Jiwoo, Hoseok and you all sat on a picnic mat on the concrete floor. Jiwoo worsening her sunburn, Hoseok avoiding the sun underneath an umbrella and you praying to at least get some color.

The guys were gossiping around the grill. Namjoon trying his hardest to not burn himself or the meat. Yoongi talking about the latest discovery he made while playing around on garageband. And Taehyung is trying his hardest to not look at you. To which he failed.

Almost miserably.

“He’s staring again.” Hoseok murmurs, holding the small electric fan up to his face.

Jiwoo, takes the towel away from her face, and raises an eyebrow at him. “Who?”

“Taehyung. He’s looked over at least ten times in the past five minutes.” Hoseok, annoyance laced in the back of his voice. “And it’s certainly not to look at me or you, Jiwoo.” He finishes, amused.

Jiwoo sits up abruptly, crossing her legs underneath her. “You noticed it too. Oh, God I thought I was making shit up.” She picks up the towel and throws it at you, letting it land on your stomach, making you recoil in pain. The high waisted bikini bottoms you were sporting did nothing to protect you, as it still felt like you were being slapped with a towel.

“What the hell Ji?” You pick up the towel and throw it back to her.

“What’s the deal with you and Taehyung?” She doesn’t miss a beat and continues, “he’s been glued to your side and eye fucking you since the wedding.”

“Absolutely nothing.”

And it’s the truth. Nothing, despite all the confessions that happened on the wedding night, had happened between the two of you since.

Sure, you had walked around the apartment in nothing but a bra and underwear a few times. Knowing very well Taehyung’s eyes were trailing your every move. And sure he had walked around in nothing but a towel a few times. Again, knowing very well you were imagining all the things he did to you that night. But neither one of you dared to admit defeat first.

If you were being honest with yourself it was actually driving you up the wall. To the point you were about to break like Namjoon did when he drove to Hoseok’s apartment in a poor attempt to escape the evilness that was his mother and Jiwoo together.

“Is that why he’s slowly undressing you with his eyes right now?” Hoseok cocked his head to the right, closing the umbrella, now that the sun was nowhere in sight.

You roll your eyes and stand up. “You’re reading too much into it.” You dust off your legs and step off of the mat, sliding your feet into your flip flops. “I’m going to get ice cream from your freezer, do you want some?” Your body is weakened, feeling the side effects of lying out in the sun for almost two hours. And you were in desperate need of something cold.

“Fine, avoid the subject, you’ll tell us everything, eventually.” Hoseok brushes you off, opening up his umbrella again, the second he sees the sun peeking over the clouds.

“We only have protein ice cream, hope you like it, but don’t tell Namjoon I gave you permission to eat it.” Jiwoo grabs the towel and lays down again. “He’s trying to bulk up or something.” Is the last thing she says before dropping the towel over her face.

Your cue to leave. And you do with an eye roll and a complaint leaving your lips.

You don’t feel him until he’s pressing you against the kitchen counter. Namjoon’s peanut butter chocolate protein ice cream slips out of your grasp and onto the floor as you jump.

“What the fuck Tae?

“I’m sorry, I thought you knew I walked in behind you.” He says, circling his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

You huff out, placing your palms against his chest. Like they belonged there. “Clearly I didn't, if not I wouldn’t have tried to knock your eye out.” You grin, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Okay maybe you lied a little. There had been a few make out sessions since that night. And by a few you mean the one that happened right before the two of you left for the barbecue.

It had been Taehyung to cross the line first, but it had been you that sent him over the line when you walked into the living room in the skimpiest bikini he had ever seen. Thankfully, you had changed right before leaving. But that still hadn’t stopped him from mentally undressing you all afternoon.

“I heard Namjoon’s bathroom is really spacious.” He grins, resting his forehead against yours, a smirk playing on his lips.

You roll your eyes lightly pushing him away. “I can’t believe you, thinking about having sex in our best friends bathroom.”

“We can be quick. Think of it as a step towards parenthood.” He jokes, sliding his hands down your back, resting gently on your butt.

“Tae…I don’t know. Anyone can come down and see us or worse, hear us.” You say almost petrified as his fingers start to toy with the elastic around your legs.

He ignores you, leaving a gentle kiss against your lips and then your nose. “Let me convince you. The guys think I went down to the convenience store for more beer. They won’t suspect a thing.”

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to just be getting ice cream.” You pout. A shiver runs down your body as his fingers make their way underneath your bikini bottoms.

“Just say you took a shower to cool off.”

“Why would I say that?”

“I heard Namjoon’s shower stall is very very very spacious. Fantastic for shower sex.” He smirks, taking his fingers from underneath for bikini bottoms, letting the elastic down on your skin. Eliciting a moan from you, making his eyes go dark with lust.

“You’re fucking insane.”

“Only for you, now come on. We are running on borrowed time.”

“You better make me cum Kim Taehyung or not we’re going to have problems.” You say, and he cockily gives you a look that tells you he will do just that and better.

He grabs your hand and you let him drag you to the guest bathroom down the hallway. You hate how right he is. It was fucking spacious, and clean, with a dish of lavender scented flower shaped soaps in a banister by the sink. Jiwoo’s special added touch. You swear she gifted you some every year for your friendiversary.

That’s not all, the shower stall could very well be its own bathroom. It was probably bigger than the one in your room.

Jealousy is not what you’re supposed to be feeling. And any ounce of if is long forgotten when Taehyung presses himself into you from behind. Reaching over to turn on the water, running his fingers underneath the water, humming when it’s just the right temperature. All while subtly…not so subtly grinding his growing erection into your ass.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, connecting his lips against the spot just inches below your earlobe. You’re about to ask why when you feel him start to push your bikini bottoms down with his fingers. It’s neither fast nor slow. He’s desperate but he wants to take his time. Savor the moment as much as he can before the two of you have to return to reality. He truly wishes he had more time, but his need for you gets the best of him. “I wanted to wait until we got home but I couldn’t resist. You looked so beautiful underneath the sun, and all I wanted to do was take you home or against the railing.”

Your bikini bottoms drop to the ground, and you let out a low gasp when you feel his long fingers touch your clit. You’re wet. You want to tell him that you always are for him. That he’d never have to guess But the words are caught against your throat when he gently pushes you into the stall. The warm water cascading over your heated body, making you gasp.

Taehyung closes the glass door behind him. Forgetting completely that he wasn’t wearing a swimsuit like you, but a Versace button down and some jeans shorts. He wouldn’t have a way to explain this later on. Surely, he can’t say he got rained on while walking to the convenience store because the skies were crystal clear. But he’ll figure that out later. Right now, he only needs you.

“You’re fucking insane.”

“Again, I know but only for you.” He brings your lavender bikini top over your head and tosses it to the side. It’s the first time you’ve been so bare in front of him since the wedding night. And he’s having a hard time, especially when realizing that he won’t be able to take his time with you. For a moment he wishes he hadn’t acted so spontaneously.

You roll your eyes, popping open the first button of his shirt. “You better keep your promise.”

“I intend to do just that. How do two orgasms sound?” He tilts his head to the side, fingertips ghosting up your stomach and around your nipples, making you shudder.

“You’re all talk and no bite.”

“Princess you underestimate me.” He smirks.

“We’ll see.”

April 2015

Taehyung’s office is nothing like you expected it to be. For being the CO-CEO of his fathers company, it wasn’t as big as you expected it to be. It didn’t have the dark mahogany wooden desks or bookshelves, or dark wallpaper. The only similarity between the office you had imagined and the real one was the floor to ceiling windows behind his desk. But the white vinyl desk and bookshelves, the records lining the big main wall and the various plants placed strategically around the decent sized space was not what you expected from the dark and brooding Kim Taehyung.

You were fairly surprised.

“I didn’t expect you to come here.” Taehyung said surprised by your arrival. Everyone had gone home. Even his father. But he still had some merger agreements he wanted to look over before the big meeting tomorrow. He had told his assistant to go home two hours ago, so he knew that he was the only one in the ten story building except for the janitor.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he was a bit scared when he heard your faint footsteps get closer. He almost had a heart attack when his door knob turned and he would’ve screamed if he wasn’t met with your warm smile, making his body relax instantly.

“You didn’t come home so I figured I’d bring dinner to you.” You chirp, swinging the bag of take out by your side as you walk closer to his desk. He saw a faint hint of surprise when you looked at your surroundings. The whiteness of the room wasn’t his decision. It was all some big conspiracy that his father had. One he learned in rehab. “White is pure, it will bring joy to your life.” Is what his father had told him when he first showed Taehyung the office. But he’s positive that his father had gotten the shade color wrong because it actually hurt to look at when he started to work there.

He sighs, placing his mont blanc pen down in front of him. He rolls his chair back and opens out his arms for you, his eyes drooping low due to lack of sleep. “You didn’t have to do that Angel, but now that you’re here come give me a cuddle.” He pouts, blinking his eyelashes fast.

You roll your eyes, placing the bag on top of his desk, rounding the corner to his perfectly asymmetrical desk (probably a custom design commissioned by his father) and sitting down on his lap. In an instant his arms are around your waist, caging you in, resting his forehead against your shoulder. He breathes in your scent deeply, squeezing your hips gently as he lets out a tired sigh.

“Thank you, you didn’t need to come, but I’m happy that you did.” He whispers, leaving a gentle peck against your clothed shoulder. He starts to trail his lips until they meet the skin between your shoulder and your neck. He leaves another gentle peck against your skin before pulling away, leaning his head against the neck rest of his chair, smirking.

Your hand goes up to push the fallen locks of hair away. “Tae, you work too hard and don’t take enough breaks until you’re burnt out.” You whisper, kissing his forehead softly. He sighs again, closing his eyes and pulling you closer. “I get worried sometimes.” You confess as your eyes drift away from him.

It’s obvious that the dynamic between the two of you has shifted into something more. There’s no label on your relationship and you aren’t sure if there ever will be a label as it seems that it’s a conversation the two of you are avoiding. Even if you both knew that there was something more unexplainable between the two of you. But you felt it and you’re sure he felt it too.

Taehyung leans up kissing your lips softly, rolling his chair back towards the desk, locking you in between the desk and his body. “You’re too good to me Angel,” he mumbles against your lips, tapping your thigh with the tips of his fingers. “Can I touch you?” He says while pulling away, enjoying the way your face shifts into complete mortification. He loves the way your eyes shift between his face, the office and the windows behind him, and beyond to the nightlife.

“Here? Now?” You swallow, placing your hands against his forearms. Taehyung doesn’t respond, instead he leans in, licking his lips before hovering them above your own. Your body grows stiff underneath his dark eyes, thirsting for more. “P-People can see?” You continue, sounding more as if you’re asking a question than making a statement.

Taehyung hums, sticking his tongue out and poking your bottom lip with the tip, making your heart rate skyrocket. This was too sensual for your liking. Sex between the two of you didn’t start out like this. In the past months it has been quick and straight to the point. Especially on the weeks in which you’re ovulating. It’s fast and driven by lust.

This is different. Nothing has really conspired between the two of you but it already feels intense. Like you’re about to come undone just by the way he is looking down at you. Like he wants you. No, like he needs you and he isn’t just doing this as a favor from one roommate to the other. From one friend to the other. This is more and you’re scared that if you agree to this, the thin line between the two of you that’s keeping the other from crossing over will finally break.

Maybe it’s the lighting coming from the mood lap on the shelf in the far right of his office. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s a smaller space than what you had originally expected. Or maybe it’s the fact that if anyone were to stop and look up they’d see Taehyung deflower you over and over and over against his desk. Either way you can’t push the bubble forming in the pit of your stomach.

Taehyung chuckles, “Let them, but also if it makes you feel better the windows are tinted.” He tells you in the most reassuring tone. His eyebrows knitted together as he walks his fingers up the side of your body, until they land on your cheek. “We can see them but they will never see us.” Is the last thing he says before he crashes his lips onto yours. Delving into the passion and intensity you felt seconds before. He grabs onto your thigh, squeezing it, “straddle me.” He says in between kisses.

You nod and break the kiss for a second as you shift around in his lap, placing both of your knees on either side of his thighs. It’s not the most comfortable position, but it sure beats the hard surface of the vinyl desk behind you. “This would be easier if we were home.” You whisper, smiling when he rolls his eyes.

“We can do it at home too. I need you here and now.” He says in his CEO voice and it has your arousal pooling between your legs instantly. He doesn’t give you time to respond before he’s kissing you again. It’s rushed and messy, your teeth are clanking with each other, your breaths intermingling as the pure unadulterated need blossoms between your bodies. He’s quick and precise, but still makes sure to be as gentle as possible. He loves to feel the way your body ignites underneath his fingers. The way your skin rises and falls when his touch paints a masterpiece against your body. And he needs to feel your skin against his or not he will break.

“Tae,” you moan as his fingers grip your ass, grinding your clothed core against his hardening bulge. He loves the way your voice sounds light and airy when you moan for him or his name. It goes straight to his cock and if his self control wasn’t as good as it is now he would’ve come undone. In his pants like a teenager experiencing puberty for the first time in his life.

Your fingers move quickly to unbutton his black silk gucci shirt. You vaguely remember him buying it while the two of you spent the day watching people and window shopping at the mall. Well…you were window shopping, he was doing some light shopping. Or so he claimed. Still, you remember having to leave the store after he tried it on to regain your composure. It took everything in you to not just blow him in the dressing room of the Gucci store. The store clerks–two very gorgeous young girls–were already giving you judgmental stares when the two of you walked in. You didn’t need to give them more of a reason to look down on you.

Needless to say the shirt did something to you. Something sinful to you, and you’re a little embarrassed to admit that you have actually thought about putting it on one day when he isn’t home. Touch yourself as the cool silk moves with your body like a perfect dance. To film a little snippet of yourself and send it to him while he’s at work. So he knows that you’re always thinking about him no matter where, when or what you’re doing when he’s not around.

But that’s a part of your relationship you’re afraid to explore, because does he think of you as something more or does he think of you as something less.

“You’re in your head.” Taehyung says in your ear, biting down on your earlobe as he slowly brings you back to him and his touch. “Everything will be alright, I promise.” He finishes pushing up your crewneck sweatshirt, humming in surprise when he confirms his suspicions. You’re not wearing a bra. He’s driven insane in an instant, rolling your nipple against his cold palm and his other hand makes a quick way down to the front of your grey shorts.

He’s thankful you’ve chosen these that go up to your knees and not the tiny ones that really don’t cover anything, because he knows you walked and took the subway here. And if you had gotten on that train wearing the other ones you’ve walked around the house in, he’d have to hire a hitman to murder all the eyes that dared to pry in your direction.

“Sorry,” You answer, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, watching as it falls down his sides pooling around his waist. “I’ve never done this before.” You confess, unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants instantly. He groans, pulling down the waistband of your shorts, and for a second when he feels your body leave his so you can fully push them away, he wishes he had a couch in his office. But that train of thought stops instantly when he realizes you weren’t wearing anything else underneath them.

Now he really needs to a hire a hitman, this time to murder anyone that was just in your vicinity while you were partially commando.

“Then let me take your office sex virginity.” He winks, taking out his cock from the confines of his boxers, stroking it once before letting a globe of spit coat his angry head. He hisses and you're left in wonder standing before him.

How can something so unhygienic be so hot when he does it? It’s a mystery and one you’re not sure you will ever solve.

You can’t wait anymore and you go to straddle him. Only for him to hold his hand out making you stop. You tilt your head to the side, opening your mouth to ask him why he’s depriving you of his sweet pleasure, but he beats you to it before you can even mutter a word.

“Let me stretch you out first.” He runs his thumb over the head of his cock, biting his lip, watching you through hooded eyes. He’s a sin. An art form that you refuse to look away from. And you’re slightly irritated that he is stretching this out more than it needed to be.

“Another time, I just want to feel you inside of me.” You push his hand away and straddle his lap, reaching between your bodies and gripping him against your wet sex. He hisses, shaking his head as he wraps an arm around you pulling you close, his lips dangerously close to yours as you rub his head against your clit.

He groans, putting his forehead against yours. “Are you sure?” I don’t want to hurt you.” He swallows, watching as you lift up, lining him up at your entrance. “Fuck baby, you’re going to be the reason why I can never come back into this office.” He says smugly, digging his fingertips into your hips. He wants to take off your top, have you fully bare in front of him, but he’s already wasting time by talking.

“Good, this place looks so pure.” You sink yourself down, gripping his biceps as you feel him slowly stretch you out. “It’s not you.” You moan.

“My baby is naughtly tonight.” He groans before leaning and kissing you hard and fast. His lips mold with yours, swallowing your moans as he waits for you to get used to the stretch he’s providing. He loves it when you ride him. He loves how confident you become on top of him. How you fall apart right before his eyes and you cuddle into his chest when you come undone. It’s his favorite next to fucking you from behind, but if he had the choice. He’d take you like this anytime and anywhere.

“Tae I need to move.” You say in between kisses, biting down on his tongue gently as he slowly starts to guide your hips against his. It feels so good, like you’re on cloud nine. The rush of euphoria feels like a new high every time the two of you fuck. It’s sweet, and rough. Hard and soft. It’s everything and nothing at the same time. And you’re sure that he’s the only one that can make you feel this way.

The words leave the two of you, floating into the air as you find pleasure in each other’s bodies. The only language you’re speaking is that of breathy moans and skin slapping. His kisses melt away as he leans back, pulling you closer, hands gripping onto anything the two of you can find. He’s toying with your breast one minute and the next he is flicking his thumb over your swollen clit. Getting lost in the way your eyes turn dark with lust. It’s something he will never get tired of witnessing.

“You look so pretty Angel, fucking yourself on my cock.” He whispers, thrusting his hips to meet yours. It drives you further, makes you chase your high faster as the two of you fuck into one another. And soon the two of you are coming undone around each other. Your bursting at the seams around his hard cock, and he’s burying his seed into you as you milk him dry.

It’s quick, but it leaves your body buzzing with adrenaline as if you just finished bungee jumping off the tallest point in the world. Your breathing is ragged as your body falls slump against his. His chest rising and falling as fast as yours as he regains his self control. Though, with you he’s sure those two words don’t exist in his vocabulary.

“Are you okay?” He asks, pushing strands of hair away from your face. His hands cradle both sides of your face as he brings you up to look at him. Your vision is hazy like you’re there but not entirely there and for a split second, when you don’t answer him he’s afraid he did something wrong or went too far.

You nod, burying your face into the crock of his neck. “I’m more than okay.” You hum, closing your eyes. You feel so comfortable, so warm like this and you don’t want to move a muscle. You don’t want him outside of you yet because you can’t help but feel like this is just right. “Can we stay like this for a little bit, then we can eat the food I brought?” You whisper, closing your eyes breathing in the mixture of his cologne and sex. It sends comforting shivers up your spine.

“We can stay like this for however long you want Angel.” He whispers, kissing the top of your heading and cuddling you closer to his body. He knows his heart isn’t beating out of time because of the sex. He knows because he’s falling for you and that scares him more than anything in the world. It’s a fear he used to run away from. One he refuses to run away from now, because everything with you just feels right.

And that’s just the thing. This is the calm before the storm. Before a storm he’s not sure either of you will survive. A storm that’s long overdue and he just hopes that when it finally arrives. The two of you will be able to overcome it together.

May 2015

Taehyung has started to sleep in your room. He comes home from work at a reasonable hour. He eats dinner with you, shares a glass of wine with you. Occasionally he will put one of his old records on and sways to the music in the most embarrassing way before making you join in. Sometimes he will run you a bath, massage your shoulders and feet to release the tension of your day.

Today is no different, except for the fact that he’s carefully crafted out a scene for his eyes alone. The bathroom is steaming from the water, smelling like the vanilla and lavender bath soap he spent a whole day searching for once. He’s placed white candles all around the room, lighting up the bathroom with a nice dim light.

“What’s the occasion?” You had asked as he stood behind you at the bathroom entrance. His fingers slowly undressing you, doing everything in his power to not hide the mischievous look in his eyes.

He shrugged, “No occasion I just want to treat my girl.”

And that’s how you found yourself in the water, bubbles covering just above your cleavage. Your now short hair falling just above your shoulders. While he sat on the floor against the cabinets with a sketchbook and a bunch of drawing pencils surrounding him. All because he called you his girl. But also you should’ve known he had other plans, except you didn’t expect him to want to draw you. Let alone in your most unattractive and vulnerable state.

You flex your fingers underneath the water, listening to the scribbling sounds of his pencil against his paper. “Is this the part where I say ‘draw me like one of your French girls,’” you joke, trying to fill the silence between the two of you.

He doesn’t look up instead he keeps drawing, “I don’t have another girl nor another french girl. I just have you.” He smiles his boxy smile at you when he finally looks up, sending a rush of heat up to your cheeks. He’s getting better with his one-liners lately. Flirting at any chance he gets, and being more romantic than normal. When the two of you have sex–which is a lot–it’s slow and sensual. He takes his time to bring you pleasure before he can even think of pleasuring himself. And you’re all over the place because of it.

Ever since that night in his office he’s been different, and you can’t decide if it’s a good or a bad different. It’s just different and you’re falling hard for this different, and it has you in complete shambles.

“Ah well then just make me look pretty I guess.” You mumble, cupping your hands in the water and gathering as many bubbles as you can in between your palms.

Taehyung hums, setting down one pencil and switching it for the other. “I won’t have to work so hard, you’re already the prettiest girl I have ever seen.” He lifts up his pencil, extending his arm in front of him and closing one of his eyes as he looks at you or the wall or whatever artists focus on when they do that. Either way his words and actions have you sinking further into the water so you can hide the effect he has on you.

“You’re full of shit.” You mumble as his laughter rings around you making you giggle. He doesn’t answer you, instead he goes back to his drawing, mumbling to himself things you can’t quite comprehend. And it should bother you. You should be grasping at things to say to fill the silence. But it’s peaceful and you can’t help but close your eyes. The warmth of the water, Taehyung’s scribbles and humming lulling you to a light relaxing sleep.

Is this what it means to finally feel at home in the presence of someone else?

July 2015

Taehyung came home later than usual and he found you in a downward dog position in the living room with an at home yoga video playing on the tv screen. It’s part of the health kick you’re currently going through and he finds it a little funny. He knows that it will only last a few more weeks before you trade your early yoga mornings and late nights for late mornings and early nights.

In all due time he will have you to cuddle in his arms again instead of escaping his warmth because you want to be healthier and skinnier. He keeps telling you that you don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself, but you claim that you’ve gained a couple of pounds in the last month and you’ve been waking up slightly nauseous most days.

At first he thought it was just the food you had had the night before when it first happened, but now he can’t understand it. Maybe it’s low blood cell count. You did tell him a few weeks ago that you had been suffering from anemia on and off for years. So maybe that was it. But you can’t let the weight gain go and it genuinely breaks his heart when he sees you stare at yourself in the mirror a little longer than usual, wordlessly picking apart every flaw you saw.

“Honeycomb, I'm home.” He says jokingly, taking a seat in front of your yoga mat. You don’t look up at him, ignoring him as you follow along with the video, shifting from a downward dog pose, to a plank pose and then lowering down to a cobra. He only knows these names because he’s been in this position many times both morning and night. At some point he’s even considered joining you himself. But he enjoys watching you more.

When your eyes meet his, his smile drops. Your eyes are red rimmed, your face is puffy. If he didn’t know you the way he does, he’d think it was because of the yoga, but he knows better. And he knows that you’ve been crying.

“What’s wro-”

“I’m pregnant.” You interrupt him as you push back into a childs pose, like you didn’t just drop an entire bomb on him.

He’s speechless, his body feels like it's vibrating at a thousand milliseconds per minute. He feels the entire world dropping on top of his shoulders. His thoughts birthing ones that he had never had before. He knew what he promised you the night of Namjoon and Jiwoo’s. He somewhat knew what it would entail, but after so many negative pregnancy tests he thought it would take a little while longer.

He liked what the two of you had. He liked that even if the two of you didn’t have a label it still felt like you did. He liked being able to call you his. He liked coming home to you and waking up to you. He liked listening to your thoughts and feelings. He liked the way you listened to him without judgment. But most importantly he liked that it was just the two of you for now. That one day there would be a perfect little creation of the two of you. Of the love that the two of you share for each other, even if it’s not expressed with words. His actions and your actions towards each other spoke louder than any words.

So why isn’t he excited? And most importantly why is he absolutely terrified?

“W-What?” He chokes out, blinking back tears. He wants to reach out to you and hug you but at the same time he wants to pull away, walk out the door and never come back. He’s going to be a father and knew that’s what would happen when he agreed to give you a baby. But he’s so fucked up in every sense of the word. He wouldn’t know the first thing about father hood, even if it slapped him in the face because he never had one growing up.

His father was absent while still being in his life. He loved alcohol more than he loved Taehyung and he blamed his mother’s death on the poor ten year old boy that didn’t understand what death was. Would he be a good father? Would he be just like his? Would he turn back to alcohol? He did that every time life got overwhelming for him. He would drown himself until he didn’t know his left from his right. And now that’s what he’s most afraid of, and he doesn’t want to go back, especially when you’re involved now.

You sit up, eyes watering at his lack of reaction and you almost feel like he’s going to leave. Come back the same way he came in. But instead he just stares at you with wide and tearful eyes. “I’m pregnant Tae, I’m fucking pregnant and I’m terrified.” You hiccup, digging your nails into your thighs.

It’s like someone is controlling him because as soon as he registers what you just told him. He scrambles and practically jumps to you. He wraps his arms around you and brings you into his chest. And that’s when the two of you finally let go. A jumble of emotions escaping the two of you, both filled with doubts and hopes. And even though he wants to run away and never look back, he wants to stay with you more than anything in the world; because in those moments he promises you and the little life growing inside of you the entire world.

He will never let you down.

“I-It’s okay sweets, I’m here. I will always be here.” He whispers into your hair, unknowingly aware that his words are filled with empty promises. But that’s something he will come to realize later on in life.

“I can’t believe you told me while you were doing yoga.” He whispers, a smile playing on his lips as he feels you shift around in his chest. The two of you have moved from your pastel yellow yoga mat to your bed.

Since he’s hugged you, he hasn’t let you go. Nor do you want him too. “I didn’t know how else to tell you.” You roll onto your stomach, half of your lower body on top of his. “I was literally a mess before you came home so I thought yoga would help me calm down but it didn’t.” You smile. Although your face is still swollen, you do look lighter. Almost like a weight has been lifted off from your shoulders. He’s not sure if it's the maternal glow but you look prettier than this morning. Then again you always look prettier than from the last time he’s seen you. It’s like you never stop getting pretty to him and it literally drives him insane.

“Well did it help?” He lifts his head up just enough to meet your eyes. He has to stop himself from kissing you because he knows he won’t be able to stop and it will lead to more. And right now he’s not sure if he can let himself go just like that because what if it hurts the baby?

He’d have to google it when you’re not around. Actually he’d have to google a lot of things and buy a lot of books because even though he feels like he can’t do this. The whole father thing. He wants to do this because he’s with you and he’s hopelessly in love with you. He has been since the moment he met you in Namjoon and Hoseok’s apartment.

You shake your head, planting a quick kiss on his lips. “Nope, I was practically shaking when I heard you come in.” You smile resting your chin on a closed fist on top of his chest.

He chuckles, bringing a hand up and pushing the fallen pieces of hair away from your forehead. “You looked pretty stable in your Chaturanga.” He teases playing with your earring. It sends a shiver down your spine. In fact, his touch never fails to make you crumble, and right now it was no exception.

“I was fucking terrified you’d run away.” You confess and it hits him like a truck, listening to how right you were.

He nods, and wraps his arms around your torso pulling you on top of him. Your arms on either side of his head and he cradles your cheeks. “I thought about it. I know I told you I would do this with you but hearing you say those two words tonight made it so much more real for me. Baby I don’t know the first thing about being a father. I didn’t really have a father growing up because I was always his last choice. So I’m fucking terrified. But I made you a promise and I will stick to that promise no matter what. I’m here for you and our baby. It will be a lot of trial and error but I’m never going anywhere. I–.” He stops himself and grabs a hold of your chin. He’s on the verge of saying the big “L” word. Actually he’s been on the verge of saying it for a while now but something keeps holding him back.

“You’re special to me, you mean the world to me and if I have to walk through fire for you and our baby. I will.” Taehyung whispers before closing the gap between the two of you, letting his lips finally mold against yours. He loves you and one day he will be less of a coward to finally tell you but for now he hopes that you can feel it with every word and touch he gives you.

You pull away after what feels like an eternity, pressing your body into his and snuggling against his chest. “I don’t know the first thing about being a mom either, but if you’re here with me I think I can do it.” You say more into the empty spaces of your room. “Plus, I think you’d be a great dad.” You finish wrapping your arms tighter around him to reassure him.

He doesn’t know that you know mostly everything about his past. He doesn’t know that you have somewhat figured it out yourself. But you won’t tell him until he’s ready to tell you. After all it’s his story, not yours. You just hope that one day he knows just how much you mean to him. How much you love him and finally lets his past go to make room for you.

“How do you know that?” He’s confused.

You leave a small peck against his clothed chest before lifting your head up enough to look at him. “Well you didn’t run away like you wanted to. You stayed and that tells me that you want to try for me and the baby. Just trying is enough to let me know that you will never stop. And that’s already more than what your father did for you.” You bring your hand up pushing his hair back, avoiding his gaze for another second before you finally burn your soulful eyes into his surprised ones. “You’re already a better father than he will ever be Tae because you stayed and that’s enough for us.”

That does it. The realization comes rushing over him like a tidal wave. It seals the deal and makes all his doubts go away. He’s never loved anyone as much as he loves you. Not even himself. Although he knows he shouldn’t place this burden on you he knows that the only way he will heal is with you. His heart had already started to mend the second he met you and it hasn’t stopped. Now he thinks it won’t stop because you’re giving him the most precious gift anyone has ever given him.

An opportunity, a promise and a little soul that’s both equal parts you and him.

He hopes he doesn’t fuck it up.

a/n pt.2: pls let me know your thoughts it would mean the world to me <3

Check out my latest work: Love Letter To Miami: jhs

248 notes · View notes