#Raven is fascinating because of how in denial about her own fear she is

[sir-adamus]

Raven's semblance is so telling about her character

the facade of the tough disaffected bandit leader crumbles completely under it - it's bonds to people she cares about. it's hard to pretend like she doesn't care when her literal superpower is defined by how much she does

but you can read deeper than that - cos it's defined by those bonds, you have to wonder about the original utility of that power was; what in Raven specifically led her to develop Kindred Link as a Semblance - to be able to open a portal to someone she cares about anywhere in the world? not necessarily the reasons why and how she uses it, but why it manifested like that

was it a desire to protect? a plea for safety?

or a cry for help?

[katsidhe]

7.02 final thoughts? (Idk if this one has been requested yet)

7.02 Final Thoughts

*rubs hands* Ah, yes, the episode that got me into SPN. I could talk forever about season 7. 

Fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone makes a different colorful idiom about Sam being insane. Hint: you’ll die, because I counted 25.

(I WONDER WHY Sam didn’t want to tell Bobby or Dean about his active symptoms of psychosis. Truly, a mystery for the ages.)

Even setting Hallucifer aside, this episode highlights so many of the things I high-key LOVE about season 7: the erosion of Sam and Dean’s support network (as tenuous as that already was)—take away Bobby’s house, take away angelic healing, take away the Impala, make them vulnerable and alone and crumbling under the weight of the trauma they’ve accumulated. The broken leg, Sam’s head injury and seizure in the ambulance? Strapped down, badly injured, the fates of their friends uncertain, headed into the belly of the beast? ICONIC. Over the top. Amazing.

It’s a similar kinda thing to Jody’s predicament—sure, she’s capable enough ordinarily, but if you give her surgery and drug her and leave her alone in a hospital with a liver-eating monster on the prowl, the stakes look a lot different, don’t they? I’ve seen this episode approximately one gazillion times but every time I get tense for her.

Quick thoughts on the Leviathans, which have a reputation as an underwhelming SPN villain. Perhaps because of how unsubtle and half-baked they are as metaphor for corporate greed/capitalistic consumption, perhaps because of how their promise of truly terrifying Old Ones, Cthulu-esque devourers, never quite came true (except for a bit in 7.01 and 7.02, yikes!). But honestly I’ve always liked them—I like how their organization and assimilation of knowledge drives the Winchesters deeper underground than even the Apocalypse did; I like how they made the Winchesters’ entire world into something mundanely unsafe and miserable; I like how they showcase the horror of a enemy composed of lockstep drones, the way that Heaven (and Hell, sometimes) tries to be, but never truly manages; I like Dick Roman’s gleeful ravenousness; I like their spooky mouths; hell, I even like the Dick jokes. 

Bobby’s solicitousness towards Dean, and how awkwardly he talks to Sam a little later in the episode, is very emblematic of how bone-deep uncomfortable he is around an honest-to-God mental illness, and, well, around Sam’s issues in general. Which doesn’t make him a bad person, or unsupportive, necessarily. But it’s very evident that he’s got no clue what to say to Sam or how to handle him, that he’s leagues more comfortable dealing with Dean’s problems (as has often been the case regardless of Sam’s mental health).

A related, but separate point: the lengths the show goes to to emphasize “look, Dean’s not okay,” while Sam’s in the middle of a psychotic break… It baffles me a little every time I see this episode, when Bobby walks away from Sam all “yyyyeah I gotta go do some work” and then is immediately all “ok but Dean, how are YOU feeling?” It’d be one thing if Dean weren’t emotionally demonstrative, and if Sam were—if Sam, at this point in the episode, was so obviously struggling to such a painful degree that Bobby wants to make sure Dean’s not overlooking his own reactions. But that’s not really the case. Apart from some flinching, Sam’s been very matter-of-fact about the whole thing so far.

This is our first deep-dive into Sam post-Cage, a full season about he returned. And I love it to pieces, you guys. I love how these inescapable, soul-deep consequences are the inevitable answer to the moral of Sam’s story, where he interred himself with his worst nightmare, forever.

Dean after Hell is clawing for moral high ground. Dean focuses on this bleak kind of virtue, this idea of martyrdom and righteous struggle that eventually unspools and reveals itself to be fundamentally unmoored. He needs some kind of redemption for himself after what he was forced to do in Hell; he needs to own his destiny, and he needs that destiny to be meaningful and good, and he channels his violence outward in that cause.  

Sam does not take any kind of high ground. He hurts... himself. He gnaws inward. No illusions about how “messed up” he is—he sidelines himself before Dean or Bobby can say a single word; he figures he needs to be on top of it, needs to get out ahead of the danger he could represent and reassure his family that he knows he’s a hazard. Sam has learned to repress and downplay and hide his traumas and his freakishness both to avoid feeling stigmatized and to avoid being a burden on the people he loves, especially on his brother. So when Dean reacts with fear (understandable) and anger (less so), Sam takes it in stride.

Hallucifer is probably my favorite thing this show has ever done. I could probably write another thousand words on Hallucifer alone—on how Sam’s using this face for coping, for compartmentalizing; both to hurt himself and to keep himself company, to sort through his pain and arrive at a place where it’s at all tenable for him to exist. 

Sam’s skepticism about professional mental health treatment—his idea that this is a problem he can handle himself, that a doctor would "just stuff [him] full of pills”—is clearly one born of the family mold. This is his dismissive response to Hallucifer!Dean’s accusation that Sam won’t be able to cut it on his own. This denial, this idea that Sam knows he needs to get a handle on this, and therefore that he MUST do it himself, make a science of it, is fascinating. 

On the subject of denial: Hallucifer poses a simple question to Sam: are you sure you got out? And Sam’s NOT sure. Faith that he’s free is yet another maybe-lie that Sam must tell himself with maniacal intensity this season, for the sake of his own sanity, to avoid the voice in his head telling him to shoot himself. 

That Scene in the warehouse. Dean’s advice to Sam is to trust in Dean as the cornerstone of his reality. Asks him to build his whole world on his trust in Dean. What choice does Sam have? Who else can Sam rely on? What else can he do? There is no one else, nothing else. There’s only Dean, or Lucifer. It’s a dichotomy. It’s so CHILLING.

Especially in the context of what we know comes next—7.03, where Dean lies to Sam’s face, murders Amy, and uses Sam’s ~insanity~ to defuse Sam’s (justified) anger. And then, season 8, and 9, and 10, and, y’know what, the entire show. 

Sam drives his thumb into his bleeding hand, and it’s SPN in a nutshell—forever choosing the claustrophobia of the path of slightly less resistance, forever clinging to the misery of a life that’s only just this side of bearable, burying yourself in the toxic fallout because the alternative is unimaginably nightmarish—using the trappings of free will, of defiance, to choose to claw holes in yourself so that someone else won’t. There is no escape.

Dean’s threat of murder-suicide on the phone is so clearly meant to be sympathetic. And yes, on a certain level it absolutely is; and then on another level, it’s, y’know, MURDER-suicide, where Dean’s taking explicit responsibility for and ownership of Sam’s life, even though Sam’s pretty clearly lucid. Dean’s assuming as a matter of course his ability and right to make that decision for Sam. How Dean views and deals with Sam’s instability in season 7 lays major groundwork for Dean’s willingness to let in Gadreel in 9.01.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #444

“the monster you made is wearing the crown  /  i’ll be the king, and you’ll be the clown”

Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created ‘open when’ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship you’re in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what you’ll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you don’t? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. What’s your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. What’s your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. What’s the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, “WTF?” Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. What’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone who’s well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which “famous couple” is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you haven’t seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.

[dishonoredrpg]

Congratulations, C! You’ve been accepted for the role of THE DEVIL with the faceclaim of MAHESH JADU. Getting to read your application was truly -- genuinely -- a gift. A treat! A joy! You touched on everything I could have wanted in an app for The Devil, from the way their body is in need of constant repair to how at its core, their loyalty is selfish, but selfish for a reason that is so incredibly human it makes you want to weep. Wraith (what a fitting name) embodied a terror, I think, befitting a spymaster, and I fully believe that they are good at what they do. I both empathize with and fear their power. I think your exploration of the void as a concept was also fascinating, and I was so happy to see you take it into your own hands and make it yours! You’ve done me a great service by letting me get to have you and them on the dashboard.

Please review the CHECKLIST and send your blog in within 24 hours.

OOC NAME: C PRONOUNS: they/them AGE: 27 TIMEZONE, ACTIVITY LEVEL: EST; my activity is pretty consistent—I’m around on Discord most of the time, and I will generally do all of my replies 3 times a week or so ANYTHING ELSE?: this group looks so wonderful! I’ve been longing for a good fantasy rp and this is so well done, so thank you!

IN CHARACTER SKELETON: the Devil NAME: Wraith ( among a half-dozen others. It’s not so much a name as a quick referent, a summons. they don’t need a name to answer when called. they had a real name, once, years ago; they don’t remember it anymore. a name their mother gave them, a name their mother spat into the ground. not the name of a child, but the name of a well-honed, well-balanced blade. they gave it up, when they went to court. it was a split-second decision, when the king asked them their name, and instead of giving the one that someone else had branded them with, they answered: my Lord, I am nothing but a wraith ) FACECLAIM: Mahesh Jadu (backups: Sacha Dhawan or Mena Massoud - though I would age the character down to 28 in Mena’s case) AGE: 35 --  ( it’s old, for an inferni; there’s no reason they should be alive anymore by all accounts, but Wraith’s magic isn’t quite as actively destructive as that of many inferni. still, it would be a lie to say the magic isn’t taking its toll. it has called in its dark favor from them time and again: first, three fingers of their left hand, now empty space; then, a part of their jaw, reconstructed for them by a court necromancer out of someone else’s bone; these days, it isn’t so much that parts of their body are going missing as their very material form seems to take longer and longer to take shape each time they move, and sometimes it is as if they aren’t anything more substantial than dark smoke unfurling, as if they themself are slowly being consumed by the void they fall through again and again. ) DETAILS: The thing that fascinates me most about The Devil is the way they seem to have traded one cage for another, one wielder from another, doing the same thing at the hands of a different master. “You are not an animal . . . You’ll show her just how beast like you can be.” There’s a layer, there, of absolute self-denial, a kind of self-obliteration in the pursuit of their vengeance. There’s something very pragmatic about them, very focused: the position is a tool, too, not something they delight in except in what it gets them. I feel like “spymaster” characters are always written as characters who delight in gossip and the abuse of information, but the Devil is such a refreshing change from that trope, in that way. I also love the complexity of their feelings about Septimus: an acknowledgement, that he is a fool, an understanding that he is a bad leader, perhaps even an understanding that he deserves to be overthrown, and yet a deliberate allegiance to him in the moment because it serves them, because it grants them power in a way they crave that power. I think there’s a sense, in that loyalty, that it is better to be an animal caged by the kind of fool who forgets to latch the gate at night; there’s a sense that if it came down to it, they could outsmart Septimus and escape him, a deliberate choice to serve a master they could overpower if they needed to. That’s what makes the difference, between their mother and Septimus, between serving one over the other: they feel that with Septimus, they are really the one in control. BACKGROUND: ( trigger warnings: sexist slurs, abuse, injury, body horror ) The first time they fall, it is an accident. Schoolyard bullies have them cornered—they’re scrawny, for their ages, and their mother is alone and poor, the kind of woman to whom vicious gossip clings. What about you? one of the kids asks, bigger than them by nearly threefold, and reeking. Are you a whore like your mother, too? Let’s see what you— One moment, the kid is in front of them and the next there is nothing but black, a void around them, empty of everything, utterly. Of light, of beings, of sensation. Of time. It feels like they are falling for an hour, but when they hit the ground, ten feet behind the boys who were cornering them, smoldering slightly with thick black smoke, it has been less than a second. Time accelerates, then, as if to make up for it: there are screams of fear, looks of terror, and the next thing they know they are choking on the ground, their mother’s hand gripped around their throat. What did you do? What did you do and how did you do it? They can’t answer her, they don’t know. They’ve never known magic before, never done anything but fear it before. Time accelerates again, between each jump, each fall. The moments between the void blur. In the void, they feel grounded in their body. When they land, they feel detached. They press into small corners, fold their body small, overhear what they can. They report back. Some days their mother cradles their hair, rakes sharp-nailed fingers through it until she draws blood. Some days she locks their door and leaves, an understanding between them both that if they fall, to get out, the punishment will be much, much worse. Some days they go without food, some days they are left so aching and bruised they can barely hang onto the rafters to listen. There are only two constants: one, that each day ends with information, shared to their mother, measured, weighted, judged; two, that the time they spend in the void, brief and silent and perfect, makes the rest somehow bearable. The crack, the split, the seam, the breaking point. It comes one day, as they are coughing blood onto the floor. Someone knows, she shouts. Someone knows about you, you filth, you rat, you traitor. Who did you tell? Who have you told? They haven’t told anyone; someone planted information, leaked deliberately within earshot, somewhere they shouldn’t have been. Someone had grown suspicious at how much their mother knew, how much power it afforded her, and someone conspired to use them to take her down. She beats them bloody, leaves scars they’ll bare for the rest of their life, but she forgets one thing, in her attempt to reign them in. She forgets, because they have never used it against her, that they can fall. They let themself spend hours, in the void, before deciding where to go. The cuts in their skin, the breaks in their bones fill, with the black smoke of it, as they float there, falling. Like a new womb, it wraps its cold smoke around them and births them anew. They don’t think they’re going to appear inside the castle walls. They don’t have to think. It decides for them. ( this is the part of the story that precedes them, the part that has already been told: a young inferni, barely sixteen, appears before the King, begs for entrance three times, one week upon the next upon the next. disappears in a cloud of smoke and returns with a blade of grass from Wyvern-Wing plains. returns with a hand full of the pink sands of the Eastern coast. returns with a midnight-blue flower from deep within the Volkan forest. though they only needed one, to convince him. when asked their name, they say my Lord, I am nothing but a wraith ) Nicknames come easily, when they forsake a true name of their own. Not just wraith, but others: raven, ghost, wolf, snake. It doesn’t mean anything to them; they are accustomed to being a beast. Their reputation for lurking in corners, unseen, leads at first to rapid mistrust, suspicion, extra precaution. Royals are no more secretive than ordinary folk, except that they have more resources, hold their secrets more precious even when they are as banal as all the rest. So the charm is something they have to learn, something they have to socialize themself to. Talented or not, no one can survive in court without learning how to talk the right way. They may not need charm, or gold, or anything but magic to get the information they need to please the King, but that does not mean that the rest of the court is as easily content. There are patterns to learn, rivalries to steer clear of, delicate spots not to aggravate; they are a quick study. It is the same survival instinct that saw them bend like a reed to their mother’s hand. Cross the wrong person, and you are as good as dead. And so they don’t. They make few friends, and make the illusion of many: trust no one, but give them all reason to believe they trust you. They learn, they work, they excel. Secrets no one should know. Priceless ones no bribe is enough to uncover. They spend their days shuttling back and forth between the court and wherever they need to do, compiling reports by day, hiding in dark corners by night. As constant as the cool embrace of the void. And then, one day, their magic has its first cost: they appear before the king and look to find three fingers missing from their left hand, only the thumb and index finger left. No scarring left in their wake, as if they were never there to begin with. Months later, it is half their jaw they leave behind, and though a court necromancer shapes shards of someone else’s bone into a replacement and seals it under their skin, it is then that they begin to wear the mask they grow infamous for—the new jaw may sit fine and prettily in their face, but it will not be the last piece of themself they lose to the void. That it means they rarely see their own face, inhuman to them and unfamiliar, with its new bone structure, is a consideration as well, but one they will not admit to. That it means they never glimpse the lingering furl of black smoke in their own eyes is not something they will say aloud. PLOT IDEAS: 1. What is the void, they think, but a manifestation of the Undying’s embrace? Some might think it heresy, but their quiet, private reverence, their silent faith is a comfort to them. The void was a womb, to them, reborn and cloaked in black. They do not adhere to the tenets of organized worship of the Undying, but they think of her as a second mother of sorts, a relationship far more personal than by all accounts they should. They think she holds them close, every time they fall. But this private zealotry, this silent dedication, might raise the hackles of those who find the organized worship of temples and priests the only true way to understand faith. It might cast suspicion on them, or make them enemies in high places they have no interest in placating. 2. Sometimes it takes several seconds, for their body to fully materialize after they leave the void. Sometimes, it takes days. Sometimes, lately, they walk around more ghost than body, black cloaks and masks the only thing giving them form at all. They are close, they feel, so close, to getting what they want, but there is a risk, razor-sharp, that they will disappear entirely when it is just at their fingertips. Inferni aren’t meant to live so long, after all, are supposed to burn out in chaotic destruction, their own bodies traded for the magic they wield. But other inferni have lived as long, other magic users have found ways to circumvent the cost of their gifts. And if anyone can find the ones who have, can learn how they have done it, it is the wraith who knows all secrets. 3. They have heard so much talk of coups, in the intel they collect, the gossip they confirm. It seems everybody wants to be a part of a coup, at some point or another. Revolutionary aspirations have never been their cup of tea. Their work shelters them; the King provides everything they need. But they stand as a valuable resource, to either side, and while they are loyal to their king now, it is not out of any love for man nor nation. It is out of a loyalty to power, a loyalty to access, a loyalty to usefulness. If they were to receive a better offer, if the tides were to shift, just so, if there was a way to assure that someone else could keep them alive…  they could find themself falling to the other side, or at least playing the field for both. Their dedication to the King is dedication to a fool whose power serves their needs; that doesn’t mean the Hierophant doesn’t have a point about the way magic could be used. Hungry dogs are never loyal, after all, and though the King has kept them well-fed, some masters offer crumbs and others steaks. CHARACTER DEATH: I’m absolutely fine with the possibility of them dying, and I look forward to the idea of playing/plotting a new character to replace them if that’s the case!

WRITING SAMPLE It was dark, at the docks, sun long gone, and darker beneath the wooden piers, by the struts that held them up above the water. The waves were glassy and smooth, like tourmaline, the tide low, lapping below their feet where they hung, half-suspended, beneath the docks, mask pulled low across their face. Dark clothes, dark mask, dark gloves, tendrils of the void around them and still fading from the fall from the castle to here. There was a meeting. Supposed to be a secret, but they had heard tell of the time and place, the collaborators involved. They would have been there even if revealing themself had not been an option, but this time… there was a question, furiously turning in their mind: would they pull themselves out of their perch, step out into the light, let those involved see the mask on their face and know they were there? Or would they do as they were told, as they usually did, deliver the message back and be done with it? They had spent plenty of time spying in the docks before, tracking black market deals, watching bargains and trades, keeping an eye of the coming and going of not only goods but people. Who spoke to whom, who wanted what. It was easy to hide, here, plenty of small, dark places to slip into, not to mention that no one ever seemed to look down. But the docks were the place of commonfolk and petty nobles. Of those getting rich off illegal goods, or bribing others into silence. It wasn’t ordinarily the place one came to talk of a coup. And yet… They pressed their ear closer to the wooden planks, closing their eyes to block out every sense but sound, a practiced trick to hear even the lowest of whispers from their hiding place. That was what the conversation was about—or, no, it wasn’t quite. That was the problem, perhaps. Careful language, as if cautiously avoiding saying the kind of forbidden words that could foment a rebellion. But the voices were talking about Koldam, and if they’d noticed anything of late, it was that Koldam had become something of a code word. A signal, from one rebellious upstart to the next. They’d even heard it within the walls of the castle, in places they weren’t meant to be. There was a different tone to it, now, one that gave them pause: before, talks of revolution had been full of determination, boldness, grandeur. Yes, people whispered about it in shadowed corners, but they did so too loudly, and with alcohol on their breaths. This… This was different. Cold steel and careful rationality. Best-laid plans. And coming, not from disgruntled laborers or upstart nobles, but from people it shouldn’t be. They could have easily hoisted themself up, from where they were, onto the pier in one swift motion, but instead, they let go of the strut, plummeting to the water, and disappeared an instant before slicing through the surface, a measured dive into the void that left them landing on the pier above in a crouch. Mostly material. Close enough that no one would see, behind their mask, if they weren’t. Black smoke rising off of them like fog.     “You might want to be careful what you say, talking like that,” they said, voice quiet but sharp and clear even through the mask. “You never know you might be listening.”

EXTRAS x. playlist x. pinterest board x. mockblog

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

(I’m filling out a thing, and this particular answer got So Long, I Had to Separate It.)

OCs: Well duh, they're my OCs, my creations. Dove draws me in because she's so contemplative, thoughtful, and complex in how she interacts with the world; she's full of oxymorons, this timid creature that wants to make huge changes, afraid of the evil within her but wanting to do good in the world, knowing she has, technically, become a murderer, yet actively working every single day to become a hero. Afraid she's too weak to do any good in the world, but wanting to try anyways. She's amazing, brave, and inspiring.

Srentha: His optimism and energy are just plain FUN! His ADHD mind and constant high energy are a lot to keep up with sometimes, and it's hard for my depressed brain to put the Excited Happy Words Together sometimes, but when I'm able to do it, it's absolutely DELIGHTFUL! Plus, he's such a positive person with a great attitude and the kind of genuinely-loving charisma that creates such a positive vibe with just about everyone, and honestly? I admire that about him. He's the person I think about whenever I'm trying to be positive and friendly. Plus, with his immense passion and capacity for really high-powered but strictly-pacifistic magic, his spells are a lot of fun to explore-- especially re: CONSEQUENCES from his spontaneous experiments.

Raven... Oh, holy heavens and hectic hells, where on earth to BEGIN. Raven is, quite literally, the reason I survived past age 12 without doing something... Dangerous. Raven is the reason I didn't go insane trying to figure out what to do with Being An Empath, and a Shadow Witch. I relate to Raven on so, so many levels... and though my personal growth has taken me a few steps beyond being almost a perfect shadow of her, we still have an immensely deep connection that I'll treasure and appreciate for the rest of my life. Raven's story gave me hope, made me realize that I didn't have to surrender to my destiny. Raven's found family helped me understand that I didn't have to be lost and alone forever, that maybe, if I kept looking, I would find someone in the world who fulfilled my need for belonging, and love. And her internal struggles still strike me to the core, to this very day! And as far as writing the JLvTT Raven, specifically: I feel that version incorporated my favorite elements of the 80's comics, the cartoon, and a whole new angle on her story that allows me to explore her past a measly two movies!

The Pokemon stories are easy to explain: I just have a lot of fun imagining what would happen if I was a trainer! I'm very curious about how things in that world work, and I have so much fun applying real world science and mystical theory to figure things out!

Lapis is... hard to explain. Initially I started writing about her because after Jail Break, after she locked herself in a dangerous and toxic and unstable fusion, and then the show seemed content to just LEAVE her there for SO long, I decided I was going to write a happier ending. I've always liked Lapis, as someone I could relate to and admired as far as Gems go. And then canon FINALLY freed her and the blog became so totally canon divergent, I lost my reason to write about her and kinda... lost my steam with her. But now that she's settled and happier, still healing and growing, I think there's a lot of aspects on Earth and newfound Gem Freedom that could be really fun to explore from her perspective!

Blue Diamond and Ryou Bakura are... intensely personal experiences that I don't know how to talk about in public, but if you know about the blackwinged blog? I basically want to write about them because I want to explore their situations, that I've been in, but in a safer environment, with a healthy way to process traumas and regrets and personal growth difficulties, while having another person writing with me to help the process along. (I haven't really written much for them... because I haven't quite found the courage to bear those parts of myself to the world yet. But I want to. I really, really do WANT to... especially since in an RP, we could explore the silly stuff, too! And wouldn't that be nice? To associate such traumatic things with some healing laughter, too?)

With Kary, I have to be in just the right mood to write for her. She doesn't mean to be, not exactly, but she's temperamental and emotional and really likes hiding it behind this mask of anger and righteous fury at the world. She's snappish and fiery (literally as well as emotionally), sometimes to the point where she's caustic and just plain mean, and it can be exhausting writing her outbursts and denial. She does have a lot of love and loyalty once you bond to her though, and I've seen a lot of growth in her, even if it's mostly just around the people she loves. She's a powerhouse in battle and great for stirring up drama, especially on the angsty and mystic-in-denial side. But she's also SUPER determined to move past it and not let her past haunt her, despite being as traumatized as several others in the cast, so she keeps me on my toes.

Evangeline is literally, actually a manifestation-given-life of everything Dove suppresses. She’s sadistic, she’s evil, she’s spontaneous, and wild, and uncivilized and selfish and hedonistic and only ever concerned with her own power, and having a good time. She’s a wildly different sort of character to write for, having this deep-seated insecurity that, naturally, morphed into hatred, about being suppressed all of Dove’s life, and on top of containing everything Dove was ashamed of, she has an independence complex and wants to prove that she is NOTHING like her ex-hostess. Even though she is literally made from the same mental fabric. She has the same genetics. She’s basically demon!Dove. And though exploring her started as “exploring what would happen if Dove stayed evil after DDD”, and exploring her started as an extension of exploding Dove, she quickly morphed into her own character with her own desires, limits, and motivations. I can’t always bring myself to write about the atrocities she’ll commit without a second thought (since most of them are on par with DDD), but at least she doesn’t have Dove’s immense sense of guilt and regret and she does it all with a giddy yell and a delighted smile. And sometimes she doesn’t have to hurt anyone, she just wants to get tattoos and drink and party her heart out, and enjoy having her own body and being able to EXPRESS herself for the first time in her existence!

And then, there's Phobia. I have a confession: I just wanted to try my hand at antagonizing other characters and seeing what kind of drama I could stir up! Phobia's motivations and powers and, well, let's say lack of personal growth stuck her quite contentedly in a niche of terrorizing others and finding herself through others' fears. Of course, she was written by Marv Wolfman, so she got the Character Development treatment quite thoroughly, and there's a lot to know and understand about her. But my headcanons went wild. I just HAD to see what kind of stories I could come up with her. Unfortunately, a lot of the rps she was in were dropped, and I wonder if I may have been a bit too heavy-handed with the terrorizing? (Not that she's exactly a subtle character; not at all.) But when the RPs died and I lost my fascination with the way her powers affected others, my muse for her kind of petered out.

[hubakon1368]

#Raven is fascinating because of how in denial about her own fear she is #and she's made comments implying she's been used for her semblance before #so there's a lot of potential for her having a very complicated relationship with this aspect of herself #but the portals can be read in so many ways #she uses them to check in on her loved ones #but she can use them to run away to someone safe in a bad situation #or open a portal so someone can come through to her aid #getting some more exploration into that is something I'm looking forward to

Preserving @sir-adamus' tags.

Raven's semblance is so telling about her character

the facade of the tough disaffected bandit leader crumbles completely under it - it's bonds to people she cares about. it's hard to pretend like she doesn't care when her literal superpower is defined by how much she does

but you can read deeper than that - cos it's defined by those bonds, you have to wonder about the original utility of that power was; what in Raven specifically led her to develop Kindred Link as a Semblance - to be able to open a portal to someone she cares about anywhere in the world? not necessarily the reasons why and how she uses it, but why it manifested like that

was it a desire to protect? a plea for safety?

or a cry for help?