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phanchester · 6 years ago

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gen z baudelaire children headcanons

violet baudelaire

- age: 16

- good at drawing

- cries in movies

- asexual af

- called herself a lesbian for years until she started dating a boy lmao

- dating quigley quagmire

- doesnt define herself as a single sexuality so she just calls herself queer

- has an instagram account for aesthetic things and another account for weird selfies

- has a studyblr account as well

- pretend shes organised but really is not

- loves dodie and tessa violet

- makes slimes and squishies and somehow all of them are perfect?? like the slime never sticks to anyone’s hands and get stretch a lot and the squishies just never break down

- is really bad at baking

- tried to make klaus a birthday cake but failed and handed in slush

- she ended up buying cake from the local bakery but accidentally spelt klaus wrong so it read “happy birthday klauz”

- loves everything to do with japan but constantly denies the fact that shes a weeaboo

- dressed up as jiro from my hero academia one year

- obsessed with princess mononoke

- loves all the tech in tokyo

- listens to paramore religiously

- liked one direction when she was a lot younger and cringes about it

- used to have long hair but she cut it when she was 15 and now she has the bisexual haircut

- has a really good sense of fashion although she looks pretty in anything

- loves sherlock way too much for it to be healthy

- was obsessed with tom hiddleston in 2012

- got raped when she was 14

- still goes to therapy to repair all the broken things which came out of that

- very passionate about feminism and is pro-choice

- got called an sjw in public so she gave the man a whole rant about how her being raped ruined her entire life

- lead the tech box for the school musical in junior school despite these annoying teachers telling her she should be on stage with her pretty face

- gets cat-called in public which she absolutely hates but she just ignores them

- loves doing her own makeup

- people who dont know her call her the shy nerd but people who know her things shes insane

- resident IT kid at school

- knows for forever from dear evan hansen off by heart but refuses to listen to any more songs despite klaus’s protests

- really good at football and baseball

- super good at science

- loves everything to do with inventing (obviously lmao)

- dressed up as tinker bell when she was 4 and as annabeth chase when she was 12 for halloween

- good at sewing and making costumes

- made her own computer out of spare parts when her mother (beatrice) put screen time on her school laptop

- had an emo phase but constantly denies it

klaus baudelaire

- age: 14

- a huge fanboy over practically everything except sports

- family thought he was gay for years, turns out he was a bi disaster

- peace-signs bisexual but also finger guns

- had a crush on isadora and quigley when they first met in seventh grade

- now only has a crush on isadora and boy is oblivious to how lovestruck isadora is for him as well

- knows every starkid musical off by heart

- has a super popular tumblr blog with a hell lot of followers as well as an anti-onision side blog

- has probably every social media known to man

- rumours say that he even has a myspace account?? with this boy who knows

- hair is always messy no matter how many times beatrice tries to tame it

- always dresses up as harry potter for halloween because he looks exactly like the description

- obsessed with lord of the rings

- use to have a booktube but then deleted it a day after he posted a video

- has mild anxiety and depression

- also sees a therapist (someone help these chirren they need help)

- memes and vines are his source of energy and without them he would probably die

- knows like every single vine somehow

- loves thomas sanders

- has a diverse set of subscriptions from really small but high quality youtubers to these huge popular ones

- once this random youtuber liked his reply on twitter and he actually flipped out

- has a crush on brendon urie (“i’d fuck that forehead any day” - actual quote by klaus baudelaire)

- skipped year 4 so he is one year younger than the people in his grade

- can eat until he dies

- was super small but then had a huge growth spurt so now hes a lot taller

- practically blind without his glasses

- once violet stole his glasses for a prank and klaus sat on the family cat

- the cat was thankful still breathing after the traumatizing experience but died the year after

- these events are not confirmed to be connected

- definitely a feminist and is super protective over his sister so he a t t a c k s anyone online who normalizes and tries to justify rape and/or pedophilia

- hated olaf from the second he met him

- super judgemental over people which he knows he needs to stop but he cant help it

- only person he didnt judge was lemony which beatrice took as a good sign when they first got together

- hardly remember bertrand as he died when he was like 1 (and violet was 3) but from photos he knows that he was a good person

- loves croissants and meat pie

- actually really likes bread for some reason no one knows why but he just really likes bread

- good at every single subject except for pdhpe (or rather pe)

- running joke in the family that hes trash at sport

- actually likes the concepts of most school subjects but he hates some of his teachers (like his maths teacher and his geography teacher)

- has really trash handwriting

- has the weirdest search history known to man

- “im a writer” but never writes

sunny snicket

- age: 4

- not at school yet but still super smart for her age

- klaus read the hobbit to her and she really enjoys it and wants to watch the movies (but beatrice wont let her because theyre rated m)

- lost her first tooth recently because she kept on wobbling it and just pulled it out

- never cries when she falls over or scratches herself or shit

- uses klaus as a chair and violet as a pillow

- once pulled all of beatrice’s flowers out from the garden to give to her

- beatrice got really mad at first but when sunny started crying and saying that she just wanted to give her mummy a present beatrice melted and brought sunny to the florist to buy flowers

- kept on asking how babies were made and didnt believe the stories she was being told so lemony just straight-up told her to shut her up and now she is traumatized

- watches movies which are way too old for her age

- loves baking with her mum and is very good at it (better than violet lmao)

- beatrice doesnt allow her near the oven so she constantly makes peanut-butter sandwiches

- suffice to say, the house is never out of peanut-butter sandwiches

- loves dogs

- has way too many toys to count

- wants a pet hamster, fish and/or sloth

- hates shoes so constantly walks around barefoot

- blames everything on her invisible snowman friend called ojo

- hates being called cute but really is adorable

- likes blueberry muffins and vanilla cupcakes

- never ties her shoelaces

- loves the incredibles

- really likes all frank sinatra songs

- has a pink radio which allows cds

- has lazy eye

- taking piano lessons but wants to learn the cello

- pretends to be a detective all the time

- tried to catch the monster under the bed so she could talk to it

- loves talking

- loves chinese food

- tries to write in cursive

- sings very loudly around the house

- always sneezes at least 5 times in a row

- scared of swallowing pills for medicine

- can quote child-friendly vines

- loves dressing up in dresses but hates makeup

- heard someone (probably kit) say “no shit sherlock” so says that on repeat under every circumstance

- finds writing capitals rs and 4s interesting so she has a notebook dedicated to that

- loves the mii and kahoot song (probably because of klaus)

- has an interest in sharp-toothed creatures like snakes, sharks and alligators

- pretends to have a british accent sometimes and its very cute

- hates her hair in pigtails

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #violet baudelaire #klaus baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #quiglet #kladora #violet #klaus #sunny #asoue violet #asoue klaus #asoue sunny #beatrice baudelaire #lemony snicket

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quotesbae · 5 years ago

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40 Sloth Rape Meme Hilarious Pictures Collection Explore Some Funny Sloth Rape Meme That ...

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ohceeli · 7 years ago

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I don't think I've ever went out of my way to create an essay of my opinion on this website, except once to defend sloths and to announce my disgust of them being used as the face of an unfunny rape joke meme.

#;c i was super srs #i still am

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lovediva0303 · 6 years ago

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lovediva013 · 6 years ago

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Funny Sloth Christmas Pine Tree Merry Christmas TShirt