#Rafael barba AU

[thatesqcrush]

Beautiful Sinner, Ch. 2

Priest!Rafael Barba x reader

Rating: NSFW due to language, male masturbation, graphic discussion of self-flagellation

WC: 6.1K

AN: Thanks to @beccabarba for the continued feedback & support.

AN2: Roughly edited. Apologies for anything missed.

Part one here.

The following morning came far faster than you’d hoped. You groaned as your headache made its way known. Your mouth felt dry and cottony and you reached for your water bottle, chugging it hard. The plastic crinkled under your grip. The memories of the night prior flood you causing your cheeks to heat up and arousal shoot through you. Your mind replayed the kiss over and over, on an endless loop. You could still feel the prickle of his facial hair against your skin as his lips moved against yours, needy and desperate. You could easily recall the feel of his long, thick fingers inside of you. You could feel how hard he was - for you and how your body was eager for his touch. Shame quickly followed - Rafael was a man of the cloth - and you - were sin of the  flesh.

Every time the memory surfaced—his lips on yours, the passion of his touch—guilt and shame twisted in your gut. But beneath that was another feeling, one that gnawed at you in quiet, solitary moments: longing. Rafael wanted you just as much as you wanted him.  It was all you could think about.

The subsequent days at the Church that followed were heavy with awkwardness and tension. Despite the best attempts at professionalism  between you and Rafael, the tension remained, like a shadow neither of you could shake.

**

A steady drizzle fell from the steel-gray sky, coating the city in a shimmering layer of moisture. The streets were slick with rain, reflecting the glow of traffic lights and the muted colors of autumn leaves scattered across the sidewalks. People hustled along under a sea of umbrellas, their footsteps creating a rhythmic splash on the pavement. Yellow cabs hissed by, tires cutting through shallow puddles, sending up small sprays of water. The trees that lined the streets were half-bare and dotted with amber and red leaves, their branches bending in the wind. The air smelled of damp concrete, wet earth, and the faint hint of roasted chestnuts from a nearby cart. The city pulsed on, unfazed by the rumbling weather.

You woke up with a start - to the crash and boom of the sky. Your skin was soaked in sweat and your pussy throbbed. Once again your dreams were fraught, filled with the things you and Rafael wanted, but could not have.

In one dream, everything was soft around the edges, like an old photograph, but the feelings are painfully sharp. You saw Rafael—standing just a few steps away—bathing in a golden light that made him appear almost angelic. He smiled, that familiar, heart-stopping smile that fills you with warmth and hope. You moved towards him, wanting nothing more than to close the distance, to touch him, but with every step you took, he drifted further away. No matter how fast you walked, or how desperately you tried, he remained just out of reach.  

Other dreams were more along the lines of forbidden love —love between you and Rafael would bring ruin upon the community. Yet, you were irresistibly drawn together, meeting in secret beneath the shadows of the church, where only the sacred texts and the ancient relics were witness to your growing passion. The two of you were intoxicated with a blend of fear and desire, as though every glance and touch could tear apart the very fabric of the world you know. The dream carried an electric tension. The dream is suffocating, heavy with the sense that no matter how much you want one another, it’s useless.

You wake up from those dreams with a hollow, aching feeling still lodged in your chest. As the tendrils of sleep abate, the real world returns, leaving only the bittersweet reminder of what you can never have.

As you puttered around the kitchen, getting ready for the day ahead, you realized you would be meeting with Rafael to finalize the plan for the upcoming youth Halloween party.

‘Fuck!’

**

You zipped your coat as you headed to the church. An alert pinged on your phone and when you opened it, you frowned.

Halloween Party Discussion w/Fr. Barba - Canceled.

You let out an audible - and very irritated - sigh. You were not surprised, but at the same time, disappointed. Figuring you could use the extra time to work on logging the books from years prior, you decided to head to the church anyway.

Imagine your surprise when you arrived, Myra was sitting at your desk. You furrowed your brow and frowned. “¿Qué haces aquí?”

Myra’s lips stretched into a thin smile. The older lady shifted, before putting on her glasses to see you better. “Buenos días, señorita. ¿Es así como saludas adecuadamente a alguien?” (Good morning Miss. Is this how you properly greet someone?)

“Lo silento,” you began. “Me sorprende verte. ¿Dónde está Padre Barba?” (I'm sorry. I am surprised to see you. Where is Fr. Barba?)

“El sacerdote está fuera de la ciudad.” (The priest is out of town.)

Your brow arched. Rafael had never mentioned a trip and you had a feeling it was him trying to avoid you. “Necesito hablar con él.” (I need to speak with him.)

Myra thrusted a large binder towards you. “Pide una cita.” (Request an appointment.)

You rolled your eyes and dropped your belongings onto one of the chairs. Despite Myra’s protests, you made your way in. “Yo también trabajo aquí,” you grumbled under your breath. Myra shooed you away. (I work here too.)

You loomed over Myra and typed on the computer, quickly pulling up the directory. You found Rafael’s number and jotted it down before finding your phone. You weren’t certain how all this time you didn’t have his phone number but now you did. When he didn’t answer, you texted him.

‘What the fuck? Am I out of a job?’

You sighed and walked in an aimless circle outside of the rectory. When Rafael didn’t respond, you replied once more.

**

Rafael was in fact not out of town. He was not even out of the neighborhood. He was in his room, in front of his bed. He was just in shorts, his body hunched over, the cold floor biting into his knees. The room was dark, illuminated only by a single candle which caused trembling shadows. The crucifix was illuminated by the candle, its solemn figure of Jesus seeming to gaze down with silent judgment. Rafael’s breathing was labored, the weight of his unforgivable desire for you suffocating him, drowning him in shame. 

With trembling hands, he reached for the braided leather scourge by his side. The sharp knots were worn with use and if someone looked closely, they would be able to see the dried blood that stained the leather. His voice cracked as he prayed, begging for absolution. His prayers were fervent, pleading for deliverance from the temptation of you. He raised the scourge, his breath hitching in anticipation of the coming pain. With a swift motion, he lashed it against his back, the pain hot, searing, and immediate. It sent a shockwave of agony through skin and muscle and to the bone. He struck once more, the leather biting deeper, drawing thin lines of blood. His teeth were tightly clenched and sweat dropped, the salt stinging the open wounds. Rafael didn’t stop, the pain a sweet release of the anguish and guilt he felt. Each lash was a desperate attempt to cleanse his mind and scour his soul from the unholy thoughts he had.

Tears streamed down Rafael’s face, his prayers dissolving into broken sobs. His strength finally gave out and he collapsed forward, his forehead pressed to the cold floor. He laid there trembling, breathing ragged and shallow. His back throbbed, burning with his self punishment.

He was acutely aware of his phone buzzing but couldn’t bring himself to answer. It was only after growing annoyed with the incessant buzzing did he gather the will to move himself. Wincing as he did so, he shuffled to wear his phone laid on the console. 

He let out a sigh when he saw it was you. He wasn’t going to call you immediately back. It was your text that stopped him in his tracks.

‘What the fuck? Am I out of a job?’

Before he could think of a proper response, another message came from you.

‘I am coming over.’

**

Rafael thought that by the time he answered the door, he’d know what to say. Instead he groused, “Relax with the knocking.”

Your eyes narrowed as you took in his appearance. He was pale, sweaty and clammy. His hair was in disarray. 

“Are you ill?” you asked as you made your way in. Rafael looked outside and then swept his arm out. 

“Please come in.” His tone was annoyed. “Not like I have nothing going on.” He shut the door behind him.

You rolled your eyes, turning to face him. “And that’s the biggest load of shit; as if I don’t know your schedule.”

“Language,” Rafael chastised. “And plans change.”

You furrowed your brows. “That’s a cop out and you know it.” You stepped closer to Rafael. “Are you sick? You don’t look well.”

Rafael ignored your question. “What do you want?” He winced as he moved and you didn’t miss it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Rafael spat. “Why are you here?”

“Well, imagine my surprise when I showed up to work and Myra was sitting there. Am I out of a job?”

Rafael could tell by your tone and expression that you were hurt. “Yes. No,” he shook his head. “I just need to figure things out.” He paced around the kitchen island, his voice tense.

You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes. “Figure out what exactly? This conversation you’ve been avoiding, or the thing you can’t stop thinking about?

Avoiding your gaze, Rafael gritted his teeth. “Don’t do that. You know what I mean.”

You laughed. “No, I don’t think I do. Why don’t you spell it out for me? Go ahead, pretend this isn’t what you want. Say it.”

Rafael whipped his head in your direction. “You think this is easy for me? I can’t… I can’t keep doing this with you. It’s wrong.”

You stepped closer to him. “Wrong? What’s wrong is pretending you don’t want me when I can see it in your eyes. What’s wrong is you thinking you can push me away and suddenly everything will make sense again.”

Rafael clenched his fists, his heart hammering in his chest. “I am a priest. I’m trying to stop this before it gets worse.”

“You think firing me will fix it? That you’ll stop wanting me if I’m not here every day? We both know it’s not going to work like that.”

“I’m doing what I have to do! You don’t understand. I’ve got to put distance between us. I can’t— we can’t—“

It was then you noticed that his shirt was streaked with red. “Rafael - are you bleeding?”

Rafael froze. “No, I—“

You rushed to him, invading his space and rucking up his shirt. He tried to push you away but it was futile. You let out a horrific gasp at the marks on his back.

“Rafael did you—did you do this to yourself?” The tips of your fingers gently and carefully traced his unmarred skin, taking great care to avoid the open wounds. Rafael shivered under your touch. 

Rafael dropped his head. “You don’t know how hard this is for me. I can’t… I can’t be near you without—without losing control.” His voice was low and soft. 

“Maybe that’s the point. Maybe you’re not supposed to control everything. Maybe it’s time you stop running from what you really want.”

“This isn’t supposed to happen,” Rafael pleaded. “I made a promise-a vow.”

“Do you have a first aid kit?” You questioned ignoring his comment. “These need to be treated or you’ll get an infection.”

“Under the sink,” Rafael replied. 

You turned to face him. “Let’s get this off, and then I want you sitting.”

You helped Rafael with removing his shirt. Your heart broke as he winced repeatedly. You took the shirt streaked with his blood and placed it on the counter as you rummaged around the kitchen. Now armed with a bowl of warm water, a cloth and the medical kit, you kneeled behind Rafael. 

You worked in silence, tenderly cleaning and carefully treating his wounds with ointment. 

Your hands trembled slightly as you clean the wounds with a soft cloth. Your fingers lingered just a little longer than necessary, brushing over unbroken skin with a tenderness that was demonstrative of unspoken feelings. The air between the two of you is rife with tension, the closeness almost unbearable.

“It’s already happening.” You nipped his ear softly, causing Rafael to let out a guttural groan. “You don’t have to fight us.”

“I wish it were that simple,” Rafael replied softly, his breath hitching. He turned to face you. 

You worried your bottom lip between your teeth. “It is. You just don’t see it yet.” You glanced at your watch. “Call Myra and tell her to go home. I’ll be back in an hour and then we can talk about the upcoming youth Halloween party in the office.” You picked up the bowl and medical kit, returning them to the kitchen. You picked up the white undershirt, still damp with sweat. You folded it neatly and then brought it to your face, inhaling his scent. You then placed it in your oversized bag. “Thanks for the shirt.” 

Rafael watched you leave in stunned silence. It was only after you had left that he spoke. 

“Damnit.”

**

When you came back to the rectory, you were pleased it was Myra free. You were even more pleased to see Rafael at your desk, already waiting. You smiled brightly at him. “Hi.”

Rafael gave you a curt nod. “Let’s get to work.”

You raised a paper bag and a beverage tray. “I brought sustenance.” You sat next to him and handed him a coffee. “How’s your back?”

“Better, thanks,” Rafael replied. “And thank you - for what you did - bandaging, you know…” The loquacious lawyer turned priest was at a loss for words. He waved his hand around and you nodded along, understanding.

“You’re welcome,” you replied as you reached for the laptop. Rafael moved back to give you room, but he didn’t miss how your blouse rose up, exposing a sliver of skin. The smell of your shampoo wafted through him. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on anything else. 

For the next couple of hours you were the quintessential good girl - you behaved yourself much to Rafael’s disbelief. You had your marching orders for party prep and you were excited for your first event for the community. 

“Do you dress up for Halloween, Father?” You were organizing your bag, not looking at Rafael directly.

“I wasn’t planning to, but maybe I should. Are you?”

“Of course! Though as what, I have no idea,” you replied. You swung your bag over your shoulder, now fully standing and looking at Rafael.

“I don’t think I have to tell you that it can’t be provocative,” Rafael’s voice was clipped and stern. To his surprise, you interrupted into a fit of giggles.

“What do you take me for? Some kind of whore?”

Rafael’s eyes widened. He sputtered, trying to think of a response. You laughed again.

“I’m just fucking with you,” you replied. “I know - it’s a kids party for Christ’s sake.”

“Language,” Rafael reminded, his voice just as stern. He walked you over to the door, opening it for you.

You turned to face Rafael. “Or what? Spank me?” Not waiting for a response, you continued. “I’d like to see you try. Goodnight, Father. See you on Sunday for mass.”

When the door slammed harshly behind you, you laughed once more.

**

Sunday rolled around. The cool fall air in Manhattan carried a crisp edge, brushing past pedestrians bundled in light coats and scarves. The sky, a bright, cloudless blue, but the sun offered little warmth. Fallen leaves in shades of amber, gold, and crimson litter the sidewalks, crunching as people rushed on by, their breath visible in small puffs. The distant hum of traffic blended with the rustle of leaves and the occasional honk of a taxi. 

You stood on the corner of the street, under the awning of the local bodega waiting for Maria. Service was starting soon and watched as people began to file in one direction towards the church. Maria emerged, lighting a cigarette. She blew out the smoke, a smile on her face. “Whew, much better.”

“That shit is going to kill you, ya know,” you wrinkled your nose, trying to not breathe any of the smoke in.

“Let me have my one vice, okay?” Maria replied. “I’ll quit on Monday.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you replied sarcastically. “Now come on, I don’t want to be late for mass.”

“Yes, because God really keeps tabs on lateness,” Maria retorted dryly before dropping the cigarette, grinding it to the ground with the ball of her foot.

**

You stood at the end of the pew, your heart pounding in your chest as the line shuffled forward for communion. The cool air of the church pressed gently against your skin, the scent of incense lingering in the air. Your fingers smoothed the hem of your cardigan as your gaze drifted to the altar. Father Barba, draped in his vestments of green, cream and gold, moved with solemn grace, holding the Eucharist with delicate precision.

You’re keenly aware of how his lips move in silent prayer, his face a mask of serene devotion. The light that filtered through the stained glass catches in his graying hair, making it gleam like a halo. As the line inched closer, you felt a quiet awe watching him, his presence somehow both gentle and powerful. The quiet murmur of the congregation faded in your mind, your thoughts swirling between the sacredness of the moment and the magnetism, the pull to him.

You materialize in front of him and Rafael’s gaze is unreadable. He held the host in front of you. “The body of Christ.”

You smile. “Amen.”

You opened your mouth, jutting out your tongue ever so slightly. Rafael’s gaze darkened and he carefully placed the wafer on your tongue. You swiped your tongue over his finger. Rafael’s face hardened and you winked at him before turning back to pray at your pew. You put a little extra sway in your step as you walked away.

You knelt at the pew, your head down in prayer. You lifted your head slightly to watch Rafael. As the last person received Communion, the church fell into a peaceful silence. Rafael returned to the altar, where he carefully gathered the sacred vessels. With reverence, he poured a small amount of water into the chalice, gently cleansing it, ensuring no trace of the consecrated host or wine remained.

Once the vessels were purified, he took the remaining consecrated hosts and, with solemnity, placed them into the tabernacle. The doors of the tabernacle closed with a soft click.

For a brief moment, Rafael stood in quiet prayer, eyes closed, giving thanks for the profound mystery of the Eucharist. Then, turning to the congregation, he led them in a final prayer, asking that the graces received would strengthen them in their journey ahead.

“May your hearts be filled with peace, to carry the light of the Gospel into the world.” With a few final additional words and a blessing, Rafael dismissed the congregants, sending them forth. 

“Are you going to the fellowship group?” Maria asked. “I heard that there are going to be donuts.”

You laughed. “Well, who can say no to donuts? But yeah, I was planning on going.”

**

Group attendees were milling about, talking amongst themselves. Maria went to snag coffee while you went to put your belongings on a folding chair. You felt warm,  so you took off your cardigan. 

“Is that a new shirt?” Maria questioned as she carried the coffee over. You reached over to grab a cup. 

“Uh, something like that,” you replied before you took a sip. You grimaced as you scald your tongue. “Oof ow.”

“Good afternoon, everyone,” Rafael announced as he walked in. He scanned the room and when his eyes landed on you, he froze mid-step. He quickly recovered, shaking off the feeling that ran through him when he saw you in his shirt. “Everyone take a seat. Before we get into discussion of today’s readings, I wanted to discuss the upcoming Halloween party for the teens and children.” 

Rafael gestured towards you, announcing that you were in charge of prep but would need volunteers to help carry out what was needed. You noticed that Rafael was talking about you, but wasn’t looking at you. You smiled politely and spoke up, stating that people could meet with you after the meeting to go over what specific help you needed.

Once you were done, Rafael continued. You listened intently, the rich timbre of his voice and of the words he recited slipped into your body, twining around your ribs and spine like vines, like roots, firm and strong and alive.

To say that the following weeks were busy was an understatement. You were fastidious in your preparation as you wanted to make it an unforgettable event for all. You were cognizant of the fact that hosting a successful event for kids in an underserved community, such as this one, was not just about providing entertainment. Such events could have a transformative impact and you knew it was the minimum these kids deserved. You wanted to create something where every child felt as if they were part of something special. 

**

You smiled at the scene before you. The basement, usually a quiet space, had transformed, buzzing with excitement, transformed into a magical yet spooky Halloween wonderland. Strings of twinkling orange and purple lights hung from the low ceiling, casting a warm, inviting glow over the space. Colorful streamers in black and orange swayed gently, and paper ghosts dangled from every corner, their faces grinning mischievously.

Tables were covered with a mix of orange, green and purple tablecloths and adorned with bowls of candy—miniature candy bars, gummy worms, and lollipops of all shapes and colors. A craft station, overflowed with glitter, glue, and markers, inviting children to create their own spooky decorations. Nearby, a corner was set up for pumpkin painting, with small, round pumpkins waiting for eager little hands to transform them into Jack-o'-lanterns.

In one area, a small stage showcased a spooky storytime nook, where volunteers in costumes read tales of friendly ghosts and brave little monsters. Laughter echoed as children, dressed in costumes ranging from superheroes to princesses to ghosts, darted around, their imaginations running wild.

The scent of popcorn filled the air, mingling with the sweet aroma of caramel apples, creating a cozy, festive atmosphere. A playlist of playful Halloween tunes added to the festive mood. You had rallied some teens at the last minute to volunteer and encourage kids to dance and play games like bobbing for apples and a costume contest. Parents mingled, chatting and sharing smiles, while kids exchanged candy and stories about their favorite costumes. 

“You certainly did a hell of a job,” Maria replied as she rested her arm on your shoulder.  You shrugged and took a sip of your drink. “Kids deserve a nice Halloween.”

“Well mission accomplished,” Maria replied. She gave you a nudge. “Look who decided to swing by.”

You smiled brightly assuming it was Rafael, but instead was met with a mischievous grin from Eric. You glance down at your drink, the sudden bitterness pooling in your throat harder to swallow than the drink. You forced a smile onto your face. “Hey! Thanks for coming.”

“You look good enough to eat,’ Eric replied as he eyed you lasciviously. You glanced at your costume - you were Harley Quinn, the former doctor turned sidekick and lover of the Joker. You were dressed more modestly than your fictional inspiration, donning a full fishnet bodysuit under your shorts and tops. Your hair was in pigtails and you used hair chalk to color your strands blue and pink. 

“Thanks,” you replied. “You look great yourself - what exactly are you supposed to be?” You eyed his costume - a red bandana, a denim vest over a leather jacket. 

“The Boss - Bruce Springsteen!” Eric replied cheerfully. He pretended to play guitar in the air and you arched a brow.

“Oh, I see it now,” you replied. Eric stepped closer to you, the scent of his cologne overwhelming you. 

“Maybe after the party we can have some treats, no tricks,” he replied, licking his lips. He wrapped his arm around you, drawing you close to him.

“Maybe,” you replied, your voice trailing off. “I have to stay to help clean up and it’s going to be a late night.” Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted Rafael who entered the room. He was dressed as the Phantom of the Opera and your mouth went dry as you drank him in. The silk tail suit was fitted to him perfectly and even though he wore a half white mask, his handsome features were still obvious. 

Rafael glanced your way and his cock twitched at the sight of you in your costume. He, however, was irritated two fold - one, for your blatant disregard for his request to not dress provocatively and two, Eric being draped all over you. 

His heart was heavy as he watched you chat animatedly with Eric. The two of you stood close, the chemistry undeniable. It’s torture, standing there, pretending not to notice. Pretending that it doesn’t crush him. 

Seeing you with Eric now felt like a cruel, all-consuming, a raw, relentless reminder of the impossibility of the two of you becoming something more. Eric was charming and confident, with an easy smile. Rafael’s guts churned as he watched the two of you share a laugh. The last time Rafael felt this way with someone was with Yelina and that whole disaster soured him to the notion of romantic love. People surely warmed the bed, but never the heart.

Rafael tried to immerse himself in the festivities, but the sight of the you and Eric together consumed him. He forced a smile as he joined a group playing a Halloween trivia game, but his mind drifted back to you. Everything about you made his heart ache.The jealousy gnawed at him, sharp and painful. Rafael reminded himself to look away, that it was none of his business as to who you are with. Every time he looked up, however, Eric was still there, wrapped around you with his hand resting on your back in a way that felt too intimate to bear.

As the evening wore on, Rafael’s jealousy bubbled beneath the surface. He watched as Eric leaned in closer, whispering something that made you laugh. Despite the festive atmosphere, Rafael felt miserable. His jaw clenched as he caught Eric tilting your chin up before dropping his head to meet your lips. Your wide eyes looked past Eric’s shoulder to Rafael and met his eyes. 

Rafael’s face was unreadable. He turned on his heels and left.

**

Rafael stepped outside to the cool October air. He let out a breath as he leaned against the brick wall of the church, his blood boiling underneath his skin. He knew he had no claim to you but he couldn’t help how jealous he felt. He couldn’t focus on anything but the image of you looking at him square in the eye as Eric kissed you. He wanted to rip Eric off you - punch him and then some. He knew he was going to hell for thinking this. 

Rafael wanted to be the one to hold you and kiss you and bring you pleasure. It had been so long since he had anyone whimpering under his touch. He peeled himself off of the wall and went back to his place. His hand shook as he poured himself a glass of scotch. You got under his skin and it gnawed at him like an itch he could scratch but not relieve. 

Rafael decided a cold shower was what was needed. As the cool water ran down his skin, he leaned into his need for release.

“Fuck it,” Rafael swore. He took his cock into his hand and began to stroke. As he did so, he began to play with you in his mind.

Rafael thought about you in your costume - the fishnet bodysuit… the tiny shorts… he imagined a trail of kisses that would start from your lips, to your exposed neck. He imagined smelling your skin. If he tried hard enough, he could recall the scent of your skin. He imagined peppering kisses along your collarbone, and venturing south to your breasts. 

Rafael stroked himself rhythmically, squeezing at the base with every downstroke. Rafael let his thumb glide across the head of his cock, smearing pre-cum that had begun to leak before resuming his movements, now stroking faster. He let out a moan, imagining it was you sucking and stroking him instead. 

Eyes closed, he pictured the curves of your body, the sweat dripping off your skin, your body swaying as he imagined fucking you. He imagined how wet you’d be, how good your pussy would feel wrapped around his cock, taking him deep. 

Rafael moaned your name as his hips bucked; his balls began to feel heavy and that familiar coil in his gut began to emerge, signaling his need for release. Rafael began to stroke himself feverishly, working faster and faster. He gripped the wet tile of the shower knowing he wasn’t going to match much longer. Rafael’s hips jerked forward and he shouted your name as he came all over his hand, his stomach and floor of the shower. Rafael continued to stroke himself languidly, squeezing out every last bit of cum.

With a shuddering sigh, Rafael leaned back against the cold tile. He watched as the water washed away the evidence of his release, swirling down the drain. Though his spent washed away, the guilt and jealousy he felt remained. 

He stayed in the shower until it became too cold and his fingers began to prune. He stepped out of the shower, his mind was still racing. The steam from the shower fogged up the mirror and he used the side of his palm to wipe away the condensation. He braced his hands on the sink and stared at his reflection. 

Did he really think by wearing a collar he would stop being a man? 

You were an exercise in sexual frustration.

‘Too much is at stake,’ Rafael thought bitterly. ‘I  need to keep things strictly professional.’

Strictly.

Professional.

Rafael finished toweling off. Finding himself still too agitated, he threw on some clothes and went for a walk in a desperate bid to quiet his mind.

**

Hours later, the party was over. Some people had stuck around to help you clean up, but now you were alone. You preferred it that way - you were too upset with the night's events. What was supposed to be a joyous night was effectively ruined. 

You found a still wrapped candy bar and you cheered victoriously to yourself. You tore it open, before taking a bite. As you chewed your candy, you connected your phone and played your own curated list of music.

You recalled the kiss with Rafael and closed your eyes. You were so tired. You emphasized to yourself that your attraction and lust Rafael - a priest - should fill you with shame as it had been doing. You should not admire the dark line of his lashes or the placement of the small mole on his neck. You should not remember the events of weeks ago, when his mouth was on yours or the warmth of his hands on your body, the weight of him pressed against you. You knew he wrestled with his own yearning, knowing the risks involved in crossing that line. The weight of his position kept him at a distance, but the connection between the two of you grew stronger with every passing day.

Letting out a yawn, you stood up and stretched. You looked around at the decorations that remained. With a sigh, you grabbed the small ladder and climbed. You leaned over, standing on your toes. You strained as you reached, your footing already precarious. As you stretched just a little further, you felt the ladder wobble beneath you. “Just a little more,” you whispered to yourself, but the ladder had other plans. Before you could register what was happening, it tipped, and you found yourself falling, heart racing.

A familiar voice shouted your name, sharp with concern.

In a flash, Rafael was there, arms outstretched, catching you just before you hit the ground. The world around you spun for a moment, and then you were in his arms, feeling the warmth radiate from his body.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low and urgent, his brow furrowed with worry. You could feel his heart pounding as he held you, his grip tight.

“I—I think so,” you stammered, cheeks flushing. “Just a little surprised.”

He set you gently on your feet, his hands lingering on your arms for a moment longer than necessary. “You shouldn’t be climbing ladders alone,” he said, a hint of reprimand mingled with concern. 

“I thought I could handle it,” you replied, trying to regain your composure. “But clearly, I was wrong. What are you doing here?” You took in Rafael’s appearance - gone was the Phantom costume, replaced with dark jeans and a Harvard hoodie.

“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to take a walk. I saw the light of the basement still on and it is late. Have you been here alone this whole time?” There was worry etched in his voice.

You shrugged. “Yeah. Someone’s gotta clean up.”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed. “If I knew you were going to be alone, I would have stayed behind to help.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine, really.” You made your way over to a bowl that had a few remaining pieces of candy. You grabbed a miniature Hershey bar. You split it in half and offered a piece to Rafael. He accepted and his fingers brushed against yours. The sensation was electric and tender, a fleeting spark that sent a rush of warmth through your body. The air shifted, charged with the unspoken feelings that have been building. You wondered if Rafael could sense it. When you looked up at Rafael, you got your answer. 

Rafael had taken a step closer to you. Your pulse pounded in your throat as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and, ever so delicately, took your face in his hands. 

It was then, when he kissed you. There was no hesitation. No shyness. Only need.

You leaned into him and kissed him back, winding your arms around him. You clung to him as his lips grazed the sensitive skin of your throat, his hands traveling down my back and pressing you to him with a strength you didn't know he had. You dug his fingers into his back. Hard.

Rafael groaned your name against your neck and then his mouth was on yours again, hard, with a deep and searing need. You groaned against him, pressing yourself closer to him, feeling his cock twitch by your belly. You rucked up his hoodie, running your hands along his sides and Rafael let out his own needy groan.

“Take me,” you begged in between kisses. “I’m yours.” You wanted Rafael in a way you’ve never wanted someone before and it was clear that he wanted you.

“I fucking hate myself right now, but we’re not having sex.” 

Of all the things you were expecting him to say, that was somewhere right near the bottom. 

“What?”

“I don’t want to have sex with you. No. Shit, I do, but not right now.”

You look taken aback when you pull away. “Excuse me? Why not now then?” Your cheeks burn and your eyes begin to water, tears threatening to fall. You feel humiliated and you just want to bolt.

Rafael cupped your cheek and stroked your bottom lip with his thumb. He tugged it gently and then released it. “The first time I fuck you, I'd rather do it anywhere but the church basement.”

Your heart pounded with excitement. “Do you have an office? And does it lock?”

“Yes. And yes.” Rafael outstretched his arm, reaching for your hand.

You took his hand into yours and squeezed it. “Lead the way, Father.” You gave him a wink and his gaze darkened in response.

“Oh my little lamb…calling me father like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it.”

You paused. “Did you just quote the hot priest from Fleabag?” You didn’t wait for him to respond and you just continued your train of thought. “Just when I think I have you figured out…”

Rafael didn’t reply at all. Instead he just tugged you towards him and kissed you. His mouth moved over yours expertly, wringing pleasure from you in breaths that came faster and moans that escaped into the quiet of the room.

“My office - now.”

TBC.

**

Tags based off likes/comments from first part (lmk if you want to be removed): @umnitsa, @wh0re4olderm3n, @princesspink23, @cissyenthusiast010155, @cabensonsgirly, @i-run-with-scissors39, @madpanda75, @storiesofsvu, @alwaysachorusgirl, @plaidbooks, @witches-unruly-heart, @rebeccapineapple, @sorchathered, @sophieturnersdoppelganger, @miffykhai, @chops-a-w, @yspix7y, @strings-mklsn, @meganmaschke, @bunny-lin, @the-jocus, @raulismydreamman1978, @kayla1304, @jwertish, @bungurus, @mymiraclewitch, @kooky-gal, @savlovesmarvel, @1dluver13xx, @mmx888, @jazzyj93, @madamsnape921, @l-u-n-a-m, @gabby913, @chiltonsmywife, @supernovamybeloved, @withasideofmeg, @skyfire1602, @thatpersonone, @uhhh-hi-there, @frostywinterstrawberry, @doublebumy, @designersophisticate, @ziggymars, @eltrujillo, @i-dont-want-to-name-my-blog, @gibbs274, @Letstalkchilton, @ritasantosworld, @pskss, @lookng1016, @pepperbstark, @21cannibal, @distinguishedenemyangel, @mayrapaulina28, @melk917

[indifferent-depravity]

Minors DNI 18+

CW: minor voyeurism

A/N: don't forget requests for everything are open so if you'd like to see anything from me feel free to drop it in my ask box :)

buy me a coffee!

help me escape abuse

my Etsy shop

Sequel to (and probably the start of an ongoing series) Dessert First

~~~

Sonny’s avoiding you, there’s no way around it. Ever since he walked in on you and Rafael in his office he’s run away at the mere mention of your name. And you have to admit, he’s gotten very good at excuses, always having one ready when you show up at Rafael’s office. So you do what every self-respecting person would. Corner him.

And as chance would have it, the perfect opportunity just falls into your lap. Sonny’s leaving Rafael’s office as you’re walking up and without thinking you grab his arm, pulling him into a dark meeting room. He keeps his eyes trained on the floor as he tries to make one of his famous excuses, inching towards the door, causing you to step in front of it. “You’re going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me,” you say firmly and cross your arms.

Sonny stutters, “I-I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, doll- ma-ma’am!” his face turns deep red and your face falls, an inexplicable ache settling in your chest at his correction.

“Did I do something to upset you?” You ask quietly, “Rafa and I think very highly of you, and if I did something then-“

His eyes shoot up to look at you, his hands hesitating in the air as he reaches for you, “N-no of course not!”

“You’ve never called me ma’am before.” You give him a cross look, “Dominick Carisi, don’t tell me there’s nothing going on because there is and I’m not letting you leave until you tell me.”

Sonny’s shoulders slump and he sighs, “Nothin’ gets past you, huh?” When you don’t reply he scrubs his hand across his face, “I-I just didn't know how to face you after… after walking in on you and Barba. I didn't mean to upset you, doll.”

You step closer to him and uncross your arms, reaching out to touch his wrist, “That’s what this is about? That wasn’t your fault, we should have locked the door, neither of us is upset about it.” Sonny jumps like you shocked him and shakes his head, almost tripping over a chair in his attempt to back away from you.

“It’s not that, I…It-it's not you that I’m upset with.” He sighs again, hanging his head, “I’m upset with myself… with–with the way I reacted.”

Your breath leaves you in a rush and you ask, heart pounding, “The way you reacted?”

Sonny sinks into the chair behind him with a sigh, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands, “Y’gotta understand how embarrassing this is, doll. You’re Barba’s partner and I respect that but- but when I saw you… like that, I just- it-” He trails off into a groan.

You press your lips together, thinking for a moment before taking a step towards him, “You know me and Rafael are polyamorous, right?” You ask and his head shoots up making you giggle a little at the absurdity of the situation. “Yeah, it’s something we talked about before we started dating.” You take another step towards him, settling between his splayed legs.

You reach towards Sonny to tuck a stray hair back into place, “Rafael’s been asking me about you, too. I think he could tell I’ve been taking a shine to you.” He gives you a dumbfounded look, gaping at you like a fish. You giggle again and cup his jaw, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb, “We were going to talk to you about it but then you started avoiding us before we could.”

Sonny hesitates, his hands hovering beside your thighs for a moment before dropping back into his lap. He swallows hard, leaning back to look up at you, “You’re not kidding?”

You roll your eyes and bend down, kissing him in lieu of answering. He makes a sound in the back of his throat when you pull away, resting your forehead against his, “Does that answer your question?

Sonny lets out a breathy laugh, “Yeah I guess it does.”

“Then you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you again?”

Sonny chokes, eyes flashing up to yours. You keep your eyes on him, waiting for an answer when he suddenly stands up, crowding you back against the table. You gasp at the sudden movement, bringing your hands up to grab his shoulders as he bends down to claim your mouth in a deep kiss. He wraps his arms around your waist and you whine into his mouth, arching into him.

Sonny’s breathing heavily when he pulls away, a faint blush settling high on his neck, “That okay?”

You smile and nod, standing on your toes to kiss him again, “More than.” You grow silent, enjoying the warmth radiating from him and the feeling of his lips on yours.

Sonny’s phone ringing brings you back to reality and Sonny staggers back, his face a deep red. “I-I’m sorry, doll, I didn’t mean- that was- that was inappropriate of me.” He rushes, going back to avoiding your gaze as he pulls his phone out, backing up towards the door, “I should- I should go, Liv is calling and-”

“Dominick.”

He freezes and you take the opportunity to close the gap between you, pulling him down by his neck into a kiss, “You’re going to come by my apartment after work and we’re going to really talk about this. Understood?” The tone in your voice left no room for protest and Sonny nods, his heart skipping a beat at your responding smile, “Good, I’ll see you later then.” You leave him with a final kiss, swallowing a giggle as you make your way to Rafael’s office.

You grin when you shut the door, a giggle finally bubbling out of your throat and Rafael snorts, “Got Carisi to talk, huh?” You nod, practically skipping over to him to greet him with a kiss.

“He’s coming to the apartment after work.” You grin, biting your lip as you try to control your excitement.

“About fucking time.”

~~~

You pace the living room of the apartment you share with Rafael, wringing your hands as you wait for Sonny to arrive. Rafael watches exasperated, catching your wrist on your next pass in front of him, “Cariño, please sit down, you’re making me nervous and I wasn’t even planning on fucking the guy.”

You roll your eyes with a sigh but sink down onto the couch beside him, though you couldn’t help it as your leg bounced nervously, “What if I scared him away, Rafael? What if he decided to just avoid me forever.”

He scoffs and pulls you into his side, planting a kiss on the side of your head, “Baby, calm down, I doubt Liv has even let him clock out yet.” You let out another deep sigh and tuck your face against his neck, trying to let his warmth relax you.

Twenty minutes later, the buzzer goes off and you shoot up, almost elbowing Rafael in the groin in your rush to get up. You throw a weak apology behind you as you tug open your door. You buzz Sonny in and bound down the stairs, knocking him off balance with a hug, “You’re here!”

He lets out a laugh and wraps his arms around you, “Of course I am. Sorry I’m late, doll.”

You pull back with a grin and lace your fingers with his, “It’s okay, you’re here now.” You tug him up the stairs back to your apartment. “Look who I found,” You announce as you enter the apartment and Rafael snorts, standing to meet you as you pull Sonny into the living room.

“Good of you to come, Carisi.” He nods and Sonny gives him a nervous smile, almost a grimace as he pulls his hand from yours, putting some distance between you under the gaze of Rafael.

You whip around to give Sonny a sharp look, “You better not be trying to leave.”

He holds his hands up in surrender with a small laugh, “Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.” His heart warms at your smile and he lets you direct him into a seat across from Rafael. You stand between them silently, butterflies filling your stomach as you look at the two men.

Rafael cooly leans back, fixing his eyes on Sonny, “So you want to fuck my partner.” Sonny immediately clams up, a bright red blush growing up his neck and you shoot a warning glare at Rafael.

“I-I don’t-  I mean, I do- I mean-” Sonny cuts himself off with a hard swallow, looking down at his lap as he runs his palms over his pants, “M-maybe I should just go.” You turn to Rafael with a harsh frown and he starts laughing.

“Carisi it’s fine. I mean look at them, it’s hard not to want to.” Sonny’s face goes red, glancing between you and the door. You press your lips into a thin line and sit down next to him, lightly touching his arm.

“What Rafael is trying to say, is he’s okay with us being together.” You say gently, sending another glare in Rafael’s direction, “He wants me to be happy. And he wouldn’t tease you like this if he didn’t like you.” Rafael grumbles at the last part but stays quiet as Sonny takes a shaky breath.

Sonny looks at you, eyebrows pinched together with worry, and places his hand over yours “Doll, I-I don’t want to step on any toes here. Y-you’re happy with Barba and-”

“Carisi just shut up and kiss my wife.” Sonny gapes at him and you snort, sliding a hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down into a kiss before he could protest. He makes a shocked noise in the back of his throat but kisses back, tangling his hand in the hair at the nape of your neck.

You smile into the kiss, gently pushing him back so you can swing your leg over his. You settle into his lap and break the kiss with a sharp breath, “Don’t let him intimidate you, he’s just bossy when he’s not the center of attention.” Rafael scoffs with a murmured “No I’m not” and you giggle softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of Sonny’s mouth. Sonny’s hands hover over your thighs, his breath quickening at your warmth soaking through his pants. You guide his hands under your skirt with a hum, “You can touch me, Dominick.”

A whimper rips from his throat and he grabs handfuls of your thighs, eyes already glazed over with lust when he looks up at you. You nod encouragingly and grind against his lap, leaning into another deep kiss. He moans into your mouth, bucking up into you before he could stop himself.

You hum, hands coming up to undo his tie as you trail soft kisses over his jaw. Sonny’s fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs and you rock back into his hands with a moan, “That’s it, baby, just like that.” Sonny wets his lips, head tilting back with a shaky sigh to give you more space as your kisses dip down to his neck.

You delve your hands into his shirt, digging your fingers into his shoulders as you grind against him. “D-doll, I-” He trails off into a moan, squeezing his eyes shut as his hips buck up into you again.

“Don’t tease the man, Cariño.” Rafael’s voice breaks the silence, a hitch in his breath as he palms himself through his pants.

You hum, “Stop backseat fucking if you’re not going to join. I’m trying to ease him into it.” You nudge your nose against Sonny’s ghosting your lips over his, “He needs to tell me what he wants.” Sonny cranes his neck to deepen the kiss, whining softly when you pull out of reach with a murmur, “C’mon baby, be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

“I want… I want to fuck you. Please let me fuck you.” You smile, leaning down to kiss him gently. Sonny’s hands travel up your skirt and squeeze your ass before slipping to the front of your panties, fingers slipping underneath the fabric to press against your clit. Your breath catches, a small whimper falling from your lips as Sonny pushes his tongue into your mouth.

“Turn around, Cariño, I want to watch your face as he fucks you.” Your cunt throbs at his words and you slip off Sonny’s lap, standing long enough to pull your panties down your legs before settling back against his chest. “Lift your skirt, baby. Let me see that pussy.” Rafael watched with hooded eyes as you pulled your skirt up to your hips, squeezing his hard cock through his pants as your pussy comes into view. You’re wet with arousal, thighs sticky with your juices.

You tilt your head back against Sonny’s shoulder as he runs his fingers through your folds and groans at the smooth glide of his fingers through your wetness. “Fuck, doll.” He bites his lip as he sinks his fingers into your core, his other hand coming up to grip your hip and ground himself as he slowly fucks his fingers into you. You whine, grinding your hips down in a silent plea for more.

Your hands reach back, blindly fumbling with Sonny’s belt for a moment before it gives way, allowing you to push your hand into his pants. He gasps at the first touch to his cock, fingers stilling inside you as you start stroking him, ignoring the strain in your wrist from the position as you spread his precum down his shaft.

At Rafael’s groan, you look back at him, whining as you watch him slowly stroking his cock. He smirks at you, squeezing the base of his cock with a satisfied sigh, “Go on, Cariño, ride Carisi’s cock. Be good for me.”

You nod and rise on shaky knees to align Sonny’s cock with your entrance, leaning back to connect your lips in a deep kiss as he slowly sinks into you. Sonny whines into your mouth, gripping your hips tightly as you bottom out. He holds you against his lap and his forehead falls forward onto your shoulder, “Fuck! Fuck, doll, y’gotta give me a second or I’ll blow my load too fast.”

You giggle breathlessly, closing your eyes as you swivel your hips experimentally. A grin forms on your face as Sonny lets out a loud groan, slamming his hips up into you. You let Sonny choose the pace, body pliant under his hands as he starts guiding your hips to grind against him.

You bring your hand up to cup the back of Sonny’s neck, pulling him into a sloppy kiss, moaning into it as his cock hits a spot deep inside you. He’s whimpering, thrusting his hips desperately into you, driven half-crazy by your tight wet heat surrounding his cock. You feel fingers on your clit and you cry out, bleary-eyed as you look to see Rafael over you, pressing harsh circles against your core.

“You gonna cum for us, Cariño? Gonna be a little slut and cum on Carisi’s cock in front of me?” His voice has a mocking edge to it as he presses his fingers against your clit harder, your body tensing as it pushes you closer to the edge.

You whine, tilting your head up with a pout, “R-Rafa, don’t be mea-” You’re cut off by a ragged moan, thighs clenching around Sonny’s legs as Rafael rips an orgasm out of you. You shudder, pressing your face into Rafael’s stomach as tears prick your eyes from the overwhelming feeling of hands on you.

Sonny chokes “d-doll, ‘m gonna--” his hips stuttering as you tighten around him, pulling him over the edge with you.

Rafael tips your head up and hums when you look at him with a hazy gaze, returning his hand to his neglected cock. He strokes himself quickly, breath coming out in short pants as he takes in your wrecked look. “You look so good getting fucked, Cariño. All desperate and whiny once you get a cock in you, huh?” You let out a whine with a pout and he laughs breathlessly, pressing his thumb into your mouth, “Just proved my point, baby.” He forces your mouth open and his laugh morphs into a low groan as he cums, covering your mouth and tongue with his release.

You swallow and slump back against Sonny, a satisfied grin stretching across your face when he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you tighter against his chest, “You’ll never be able to get rid of me now, Dominick.”

“Who said I wanted to?” He hums, tucking his face into your neck as his cock twitches inside you. Your eyes slip shut and you sink further into Sonny’s embrace, basking in the warm afterglow.

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Sounds of Justice - Master List

Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), mentions of rape (not to the reader), and unwanted advances (nothing happens to the reader).

A/N: This is my response to the mafia AU poll that I posted. It was a challenge to write it but it was worth it. Comments and reblogs are very much welcomed and I hope you enjoy the fic. Please take notice of the warnings; they are exactly the same as the warnings on this page and they will be at the top of each chapter.

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

[storiesofsvu]

Best Friend Duty

Requested. Platonic!Harvard!Barhoun Rita Calhoun x Rafael Barba besties. Could technically be read as a previous relationship or the beginning of a romantic relationship, but also just as besties. Cause lets be real, these two are besties who have fucked at least once. No real warnings, just some sickness, and a teeeeeeny glimpse of isolated childhood. Obvious sass & language.

Rafael had almost been confused when he’d come home to a quiet apartment, Rita was usually awake late, pouring over case studies, law journals, writing papers or going over mock arguments. Instead he was met with just a lamp in the corner of the living room, an open text book on the coffee table beside a nearly full bowl of pasta, silence and darkness echoing through the rest of the apartment. Glancing down the hallway he noticed that Rita’s bedroom door was shut, no light coming from under it and he almost wondered if she’d finally decided to go out on a school night.

Knowing she wouldn’t care; he tossed the food into the microwave to scarf down as his own very late dinner, glancing through what she’d been studying before disappearing, unsurprised to find it was related to the most recent essay assignment they had. Frowning, he took another bite of pasta, that was one thing he’d always enjoyed since moving in with Rita for their third year at Harvard, getting to come home and go over law material, courses and assignments with each other. When he lived in the dorms he was stuck with randoms, not necessarily the same department, year or interests. With Rita he felt at home, at peace and despite her not having a single maternal bone in her body, he felt taken care of. Her coming home with extra groceries when he was having trouble balancing work with school, his paycheques taking a hit because of it, bribing him into shopping trips on the weekends because he had a better fashion sense than her girlfriends. Those trips that always ended up with her commenting that he’d need a good suit to kick off his career, slowly building up his wardrobe one piece at a time as a thank you. Having someone around who understood how his brain worked, someone who was respectable, quiet and knew to keep the lights low when he’d been studying too long and his migraines were starting to settle in.

It balanced out because the best she could do in the kitchen was scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, vegetables thrown together randomly to be called a salad, or unseasoned shrimp and rice on a good day. Rafael started adding things to the grocery list a few weeks into moving in, appreciating that she always picked the things up so he could cook them actual, seasoned and delicious food. Shopping balanced out because he really did have a good fashion sense, even if it was more impacted by Rita, and his memory was impeccable, he’d be able to spot a pair of earrings that would go with a suit she’d bought months ago, forgotten at the back of her closet. And while she was guiding him through his migraines, he was the one who would always make sure she actually ate, that coffee was brewed at the beginning of the day, that she put away the textbooks and go to bed sometime before dawn if they had class the next day.

Things were completely platonic, but they loved each other, and they knew they always would. Best friends from the moment they met despite what society’s expectations would say, hell, despite what some of their classmates would say. They belonged in each others lives, they helped take care of each other, work through the toughest times together and they would always be there for each other.

Which is why when Rafael rolled over in the middle of the night and his arm hit something that wasn’t a pillow, he wasn’t totally confused. He groaned softly, shifting on the bed, his eyes scrunching tightly shut in an attempt to hold onto his sleep, his hand finding Rita’s elbow, rubbing gently as he relaxed into the pillows.

“Did you really have to punch me in the tit?” She grumbled and he let out a huff.

“You’re the one invading my bed.” He groaned, “what’re you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” She replied, a hoarse cough breaking up her words, “my room’s freezing. I’m freezing.”

Rafael wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush to her before his hand wandered up, the back of it resting against her forehead, “you’re burning up.”

“Shut up.” Rita mumbled, readjusting so she was comfortable in his arms, “lemme sleep.”

“So… you snuck into my room at four a.m. to what? Cuddle….?” He chuckled.

“I came into your room for comfort, and for warmth.” Her fingers pinched at his wrist, “so can we just go back to sleep?”

“Sure.” Rafael laughed softly, squeezing at her softly, “you know you’re cute when you’re half asleep like this.”

“Will you just hold me!” Rita let out a near whine and he could hear her voice breaking, frowning as he knew there were likely tears building in her eyes. It wasn’t often that Rita behaved like this, that she felt like this, that she desired to depend on someone else. It was clear to Rafael by the time his eyes were shutting again that she definitely wasn’t feeling one hundred percent, his arm winding tightly around her waist, making sure she was fully in his embrace as they fell back asleep.

*

Rita didn’t wake up until the early afternoon, the bed empty but blankets wrapped tightly around her, a sealed bottle of water sat on the nightstand beside a pack of Tylenol and it appeared Rafael had even gone to the length of grabbing the portable heater from her room to make sure she was no longer freezing. She definitely wasn’t, she felt almost sticky with sweat, her mouth dry and her head throbbing as she ever so slowly rolled over to grab the medicine and water. Her throat was on fire as she swallowed, the pills barely making it down and she groaned before breaking into a small coughing fit, wincing at the pain in her chest already. Whatever this was, it was hitting her hard and hitting her fast. Her only positive thought was that if came on this quickly maybe it would be gone within twenty four hours.

The coughing alerted Rafael that she was finally awake, the door creaking open and his head popping through it to see how she was, “are you up, up or just taking meds?”

“Up, up.” She replied with a groan, “I feel disgusting, I need to shower.” She attempted to push herself to her feet but swayed heavily and Raf darted through the room, an arm winding around her waist.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m fine.” She insisted and he chuckled.

“You snuck into my bed in the middle of the night to be held, there’s clearly something wrong with you.”

“Shut it.” A small laugh broke out on her lips but it was just as quickly turned into another coughing fit, Rafael’s hand rubbing soothing circles on her back until she’d calmed down.

“Okay, let’s get you into the bathroom, at the very least the steam from the shower might help loosen some of that up and if you’re too dizzy a lazy washcloth shower will do, you’re just gonna sweat through your next sleep again anyways.”

“Are you planning to stay glued to my side the whole day? I’m not letting you in the bathroom with me.”

“Okay, then you can enjoy cracking your head open on the tub when you fall.”  He squeezed at her side gently, nudging her in the direction of the bathroom and she tried to shoot him a glare but her vision suddenly blurred and she paused a moment to shake out of it.

“Fine.”

Rita made him stay out of the bathroom until she was stripped down and hidden behind the shower curtain but did admit defeat and let him know she was sitting down after a couple of minutes. Even if it wasn’t the dizziness it was the general unwell feeling aching through her muscles, the shakiness of her hands as she tried to scrub the sickness away.

“You know maybe if you hadn’t skipped dinner last night you’d be able to make it through a shower.” Rafael called over the water.

“I didn’t skip dinner.”

“Rita, there were all of two bites taken out of that pasta and we both know it.”

“I wasn’t hungry.” She protested back, reaching up to turn off the taps, “and I was exhausted. I chose sleep over nourishment. Hand me a towel.” A warm, fluffy green one popped up between the shower curtain and the wall,

“Be careful when you stand up, and I’m leaving clothes on the basin for you.”

“Thanks.”

Rita waited until she heard the bathroom door click shut before she managed her way to her feet, cautiously stepping out of the tub to dry herself off. She couldn’t help but softly smile at the pile of clothes Rafael had left out for her, a pair of plaid pyjama pants of his that she tended to steal out of the laundry, a worn high school debate club shirt of her own and a Harvard hoodie they weren’t entirely sure who the correct owner was at this point. Pulling the hoodie tighter around her with a little shiver she padded out to the main part of the apartment, the television was on low, textbooks and note pads strewn across the coffee table next to a half full coffee cup. She made a beeline for the couch, tugging the blanket off the back of it before collapsing onto the cushions and wrapping it around herself. She snagged the remote, turning the volume up a bit before starting to channel surf to find something more entertaining to watch.

“Whatever you’re cooking smells amazing.”

“Good.” He chuckled, “it’s for you.”

“What?” She asked with a croak, sitting up and looking over the back of the couch to Raf in the kitchen.

“I figured you were coming down with something so I ran to the store this morning, picked up ingredients for soup.”

“Can’t that just come out of a can?”

“Sure. If you want bland, unseasoned crap.” He laughed, turning the heat down to a simmer, “didn’t your mom ever make you soup when you were sick as a kid?”

“Bold of you to assume my mother ever cooked anything for me. And if I was sick she’d throw some children’s Advil in the direction of my father and shuttle me off to the nannies for the week.”

“No wonder you hate being sick so much.” He frowned, crossing through the room, “it’s not about the actual illness, is it?”

“Being sick sucks.” Rita sighed, dropping back into the cushions, burrowing under the blanket as Raf perched on the arm of the couch. “You already feel like crap, you can’t do anything, your energy is zapped, you either have no appetite or you’re throwing up constantly. You’re not allowed to go to school and nobody wants anything to do with you so you’re holed up on your own feeling like you’re in isolation until you’re better.”

“You were the kid who sat up studying and doing homework while off sick, weren’t you?” He raised a brow in her direction and she looked up at him with a sheepish expression before scoffing.

“Yeah.” She tugged the blanket tighter under her chin, “can’t fall behind.”

“Well then be glad it’s the weekend.” He teased, a hand coming to ruffle at her hair and he clicked his tongue, “did you seriously wash your hair and not dry it?”

“I seem to remember getting lectured about not standing for too long.” She glared up at him and he rolled his eyes.

“If you sleep with it like this it’s going to be a tangled mess when you wake up and I already don’t wanna hear it. Gimmie a second.”

Rita let out a huff, her gaze falling back onto the television as he disappeared from the room. She heard the click of the kettle as he passed through the kitchen before he wandered down the hall for a couple of minutes, rustling around in one of the other rooms. By the time he came back the water was boiling and when he returned to the couch there was a steaming mug in his hand thrust into Rita’s line of sight.

“Sit up.” He instructed, “and take this.”

She grumbled but did as he asked, sitting with her back against the arm of the couch as Rafael situated himself on it once again. She noticed that the tea wasn’t one of their usual tea bags, a mix of scents wafting off the beverage and a cinnamon stick floating inside of it. Behind her, Rafael’s fingers shook out her damp hair, making sure he wasn’t going to come across any large knots before parting it down the center and starting to make two French braids. She let out a little happy hum, appreciative in the way that he wasn’t shying away from her when she was sick, that he hadn’t banished her to her bedroom until she was better, he didn’t seem to have any issues with potentially picking up whatever germs she was carrying. Truthfully, that was because he knew she had likely been contagious all week and they shared practically everything already. They frequently stole food off each other’s plates, finished the other person’s coffee and used the same utensils. Whenever Rita found the time to bake he knew she regularly licked batter off the mixing spoon to make sure it tasted good before continuing to make whatever she was making. Germs was just something added to the list of things they shared.

“There’s something in this I can’t place.” She murmured as Rafael began the second braid and he laughed softly.

“Likely the garlic.”

“Garlic?!” She tried to turn her head and only managed to yank the hair he was currently holding, wincing as she turned her head back forward, “why?”

“It’s one of Mami’s classic recipes.” He replied with a shrug, nodding toward the stove, “same with the soup. Anytime I was sick she’d make a huge batch of both to last all week. When I was younger there was usually homemade bread to go along with it and I got to either sleep on the couch all week or in her bed. Extra popsicles too. While the actual illness sucked there were definitely some upsides to getting to stay home sick.”

“Sounds fake.” Rita grumbled, taking another swig of the tea.

“Well we’ve figured out by now that we had very different childhoods.” He wrapped the elastic around the second brain, then leant forward, kissing the top of her head, “you’re all done. Hungry?”

“Tired.” She replied back, draining the last of her tea before placing it down on the coffee table as Rafael climbed off the side of the couch.

“Alright. Get some rest, I’ll make sure to be quiet.”

“Where are you going?” She whined, pouting at him as he headed back to the kitchen.

“Figured you wanted to sleep.”

“I kinda hijacked your hangout place.” She gestured to the coffee table covered in his things.

“I can set up in the kitchen, or my room.”

“You really don’t have to.”

Rafael watched the way she frowned, the little shiver that danced through her body before his lips split into a grin, “you want me to stay.” He sauntered back over to the couch, “don’t you? Sick Rita is needy Rita, isn’t she? You want more cuddles.”

“Well I don’t wanna be alone.” She deflected and he laughed, “besides, just a little nap for the drugs to kick in and then I want some of that soup.”

“Alright.” Smirking he nudged her shoulder so she could sit up again and dropped onto the couch, “make yourself at home.”

Rita collapsed into his lap, letting out a happy sigh when his hand automatically landed in her hair, fingertips gently rubbing at her scalp. It only took a couple of minutes before she was asleep again, snoring softly and Rafael tucked the blanket in a little tighter around her shoulders. She’d been sick a couple of times during their years at Harvard but this was the first time when they’d been living together and now he felt a little bad for not checking up on her when he was still in the dorms. She clearly craved the contact and honestly had no clue how to take care of herself, it was no wonder the flu in first year took her out for a full two weeks.

The hand he had in her hair softly moved to her back, rubbing slow circles through the blanket, making sure she was as comfortable as she could get while she slept. She needed the rest and now he really knew just how touch starved she was, certain that if he even got up to use the bathroom she would be whining in her sleep. Halfway through the afternoon he felt his eyes drooping, whatever she’d chosen on the television serving zero interest to him and he gingerly shifted her so he could slide between her and the back of the couch, wrapping her in his arms as he slipped under the blanket.

The timer on the stove woke them up just as the sun was starting to set, jolting them both out of their calm sleeps.

“Sorry.” He murmured, slowly untangling their limbs.

“S’okay.” She replied with a yawn, “probably wouldn’t sleep through the night otherwise.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed at her shoulder, “feeling better?”

“A bit.”

“Take some more meds.”

“Is it time for soup?” She asked, rubbing at her eyes as she sat up and he couldn’t help but smile at just how little she looked right now.

“Yeah.” He padded through the kitchen, flicking the burner off before digging through the pantry, “you want some of this sourdough with it?”

“Please.”

A moment later Rita let out a happy groan at the smells wafting through the room as Rafael took the lid off the pot and added a few last minute things. She picked up her water, swallowing down a couple more pills before she shifted on the couch, nestling into the corner so Rafael could sit beside her. She flicked through a couple of channels until she found one of their joint favourite movies about to start and hummed in satisfaction.

“Here.” Rafael returned to the couch with the food, a fresh mug of tea placed on the table for her, “careful it’s hot.”

“Smells amazing.”

“Surprised you’ve still got a sense of smell.” He teased and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s more in my throat.”

“That I can tell,” he grinned, “you sound like Kermit.”

“Fuck you.” She muttered, opting to ignore him and focus on the soup instead, humming softly when the flavours hit her tongue. Beside her Rafael simply smiled, glad that she was actually eating and getting nutrients in while sick instead of living off saltine crackers.

Empty bowls of soup lay abandoned on the coffee table, Rita’s mug of tea refilled and Rafael had grabbed a beer from the fridge for himself. The movie was just over halfway through and Rita was neatly tucked under Raf’s arm, nestled into the crook of his neck while his hand softly rubbed up and down her arm. Her breathing was pretty regulated, only small coughs here and there now that Rafael had dug through the bathroom until he found some cough syrup from his last bought of illness for her. She was no longer alternating between shivering and being too hot, having to shove the blanket off her, a happy medium where she was slowly starting to feel like an actual human again.

“Rafa?” She asked, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He turned his face to leave a gentle kiss on the top of her hair, “that’s what best friends are for.”

A comfortable silence took over them as the movie began to wrap up before she quietly spoke again.

“Raf?” This time her voice was almost timid and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yes you can sleep in my bed again tonight.”

________________

@svulife-rl rl @mickey-gomez @clarawatson @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @godard-muse @thatesqcrush @daddy-heather-dunbar @alcabots @kmc1989 @valentinesfrog @originalbrunettecharacter @swimmingstudentchaos891 @prentiss-theorem @witches-unruly-heart @plaidbooks

[capekelpie]

Struck with a sudden and overwhelming desire to read a SVU Star Wars AU. Would take place during the Prequels era. Liv and Fin are Jedi Masters, Amanda is Jedi Knight. Sonny is Liv's padowan, who she took on to complete his training after his previous master died. Nick is a clone Captain under Liv's command. Barba is a senator who works closely with Liv and her squad. Elliot is a guy somewhere idrc about him. Maybe he went dark side? Idk. Like I said, I don't care. Noah and Jesse might be crechelings that Liv and Amanda have their eyes on as future Padowans. They're a special team. Much like Anakin and Obi Wan during the Clone Wars, they operate independently but are often called to work together because they're Just That Good. Their specialty is hunting down slavers, helping liberate colonized and enslaved peoples, and organizing support. This often puts them at odds with the more war-focused senate. Anyway I am devastated to learn that someone else hasn't written this AU for me already.

[moodiboards]

A little moodboard for @plaidbooks who’s working on mafia boss!Rafael😍🤩 the original one I made didn’t want to post here so I’ll see if I can send it to you on discord 😅

[professorwerewolfmcwerewolf]

I haven't thought this through much but okay. I love Vampire!Barba fics. Especially love vamp!Barba/human!Carisi fics. And I'm finally joining the Chappell Roan obsession beyond Hot To Go and Good Luck Babe. So on first and second impression, Red Wine Supernova sounds like it'd be a hot vamp/human Barisi songfic. 👀🩸🧛‍♂️

Aka the line "Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck" + symbolism of red wine = this song is Obviously about a vampire 😂

[random-barba-hc]

I seriously wished The Undiscovered Country would've been more like Barba recused himself from the case. Then Olivia would take him to the hospital and so he could explain to the Householders what might happen now there's a new ADA handling the case (i.e. SVU may no longer be able to communicate details to Maggie about the case, the ADA could cut Aaron a deal, depending on how severe the charge there may be a complete termination of Aaron's parental rights). Liv goes to check on Aaron while Barba and Maggie have a private conversation. Olivia comes back to get Barba, Aaron needing time to process, and they leave. Afterward, Maggie shuts off Drew ventilator. Both are charged together with conspiracy to commit second degree murder.

During pretrial motions, Rita (yes, I thought she'd be a much better choice for Barba's defense attorney) and requests to sever the case with the reasoning Maggie is merely avoiding accountability by blaming others for her actions, which the judge grants.

We would've gotten the freakin' trial we deserved. Rita's closing statement being while unwise to have talked with Maggie considering the circumstances, it was an emotional time for Barba as well (recusing himself because he knew he couldn't act impartially) and was simply trying to comfort a woman with a huge weight on her shoulders that he was familiar with. Despite how much he hated his father, it still took Barba six weeks to act on it (the choice to do so was given to him). Maggie ended her son's life, which she claimed to do out of love, but she assumed that responsibility solely by herself and had not even hesitated to do so once she felt the approval of someone who was essentially a total stranger.

There was so much wasted potential with the BX9 story and the quick mention of what happened to Heredio. Hell, I would've been fine if concern over his mother's safety is what caused her move to Florida instead (Sightless in a Savage Land s22e4), and Barba went with her (perhaps more of the Diaz side of the family was there too). Honestly, anything that could've avoided The Undiscovered Country, People vs Richard Wheatley, and The Christmas Episode.

[malevolent-muse]

Update: Finally Forsaken - SVU Fan Fic

 *This is a LONG FIC that is UPDATED most WEEKENDS*

Fandom: SVU/CI/Chicago PD Ships: Goren/Benson, Carisi/ OFC/ OMC Status: WIP  Rating: Explicit Warnings: Violence, Non-Con Summary: The final work in the Trials and Tribulations Series. After all he has been through: the abduction, getting rescued years later, being committed to a mental institution, and having to fight to be reinstated as a detective, Robert Goren has reached the events that will carve out his final destiny or his doom.

 Far too long to post on Tumblr. My apologies but to read this I'll have to redirect you to AO3 to read the new chapter.

For the full Trials and Tribulations of Robert Goren series click HERE to read from the beginning.

Like this work? Join the Tag List

Tagged: @reidsbiitch , @drwho-ess , @redbeatle12 , @malindacath , @thiccwookiebahookie

[soul-wanderer]

Okay, but hear me out on this one (tw for mentions of abuse ahead):

- Rafael and Nick meeting when they’re around 17/18 years old. Nick is a year or two younger than Rafael and still has a year of High School left, while Rafael is about to graduate

- At first they don’t really like each other, they just seem to be too different, but Rafael still can’t stop keeping an eye on Nick, who looks like trouble at first glance but actually spends a lot of time studying at the library by himself. Rafael often casually keeps him company, claiming to prepare for college, but while he does that - he got big plans after all - he also helps Nick with most of his schoolwork and Nick appreciates that

- Rafael senses there is more to Nick staying at the library for so long each day, because he had been in the same position before, reluctant to go back home after school. It takes a while to earn Nick’s trust, and it does help when Rafael opens up about how his own father had been abusive before he and his mother had finally been able to leave him. Nick had been surprised by this, but days later he had finally opened up about his own father and Rafael hadn’t reacted with pity, but sympathy

- They get closer after that, though both push aside any feelings that might be labelled romantic, but Nick still gets knots in his stomach at the thought of Rafael leaving him behind when moving on to college. But Rafael promises to be there for him, always, and reminds him that it’s only one more year until he would be ready for college, too. After graduation, he still helps Nick, offers that he could stop by his home any time, especially when his father was having one of his episodes again

- When Rafael moves into his own apartment, things also seem to get worse with Nick’s father, so Rafael offers that Nick can move in with him permanently once he’s graduated and Nick gladly takes him up on his offer. The place isn’t big, but Nick was spending most of his time at Rafael’s place already anyway, so it wouldn’t be much of a change for either of them, really

- Nick is a bright person and with Rafael’s help he manages to graduate and get into college, ready to start working on his own future. Rafael had been one of the first people to believe in him and his plans and was nothing but supportive, even if he could be a little tough at times, not wanting Nick to slack when it came to academics. They had a similar family history, after all, and he was all too aware that they both needed to work hard if they wanted to create a better future for themselves

 - There are a lot of sleepless nights and long days, both working hard on earning their degrees, and somewhere along the way they finally realize and accept their feelings for each other too, and while they are not ready to be public about it - especially not with family still too close - they find comfort in each other and get each other through the hard days, especially when old memories come back up again

- Rafael is so, so proud when Nick gets his degree and starts working for the police to work towards becoming a detective, and Nick is equally proud when Rafael gets accepted into law school to become a lawyer. Throughout the years they keep being each other’s rock and at the end of the day, they both sometimes look back on when they first met, because it also showed them how far they’ve come with each other’s love and support

[dannygpino]

I had two thoughts last night as I was falling asleep:

Barmaro AU where David Alvarez (of "West Side Story" (2021) fame) is their son through a surrogate. Don't ask me the logistics or anything cause I haven't figured that out yet.

Barmaro AU where they're like Kamala Harris and Doug Emhoff and they're set up on a blind date by a mutual friend (Olivia) while Rafael is still an ADA in Brooklyn and Nick is still in Warrants.

[thatesqcrush]

Beautiful Sinner Series

Synopsis: After leaving behind his high-powered law career, Father Rafael has found solace and purpose in his new life as a priest—until a mysterious newcomer disrupts his hard-won peace. Drawn to her quiet strength and wounded past, he finds himself questioning everything he thought he’d left behind. As his feelings deepen, so does the conflict between his vows and his heart, forcing him to confront the limits of faith, desire, and forgiveness. Will Father Rafael stay true to his calling, or risk everything for a chance at love he thought he’d sworn off forever?

Rating: NSFW for language, mature themes & strong sexual content. Please read at your own risk.

Ch. 1

Ch. 2

Forgive Me Father

[hoobgooblinn]

*stands silhouetted against a lamppost on a misty night*

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

Law and Order: SVU and Trouble in the Heights Ficlet (2)

Warnings: mentions of injury, fire, shooting, guns, period typical religious attitudes, putting a child up for adoption, and Nevada being slightly softer for his detective.

Spanish translations:

Deberías escucharlo. - You should listen to him.

Mamí - Mum.

“I brought you that case so you could solve it not the other detective.  How did you manage to get yourself benched?”

You took one look at Nevada in your apartment and pivoted on your heel, “You remember how I said we don’t always get what we want?  Find someone else to do the planning next time.”

A second man stepped into your path and blocked the doorway, “Deberías escucharlo.”  He pulled his jacket to the side to reveal a gun holstered in his pants.

“That would make a great headline,” you commented sarcastically.  “Cop shot dead in her own apartment.”

“No one is shooting anyone,” Nevada waved off your remark.

You faced him, “I plan to watch a double movie feature since I have nothing else to do tonight.  Unless you want to stay and watch me bawl my eyes out…”

Nevada was out of the chair that he was occupying in a flash.  You snorted as the door clicked shut behind his second man.  After making sure that it was locked, you found Charlotte’s Web, put the DVD in the player and pressed play before curling up on your couch.

Charlotte’s Web had almost finished when you heard a knock on your door.  Putting the tissue box on the table, you approached your door.  The sight that greeted you had a chuckle escaping your lips and you hurried to unlock the door.

On the other side of the door stood Rafael with a stuffed lion.

“We closed the case,” he said, holding out the lion. “The gift is from Liv, but I asked if I could deliver it.”

You accepted the animal from Rafael, “You don’t seem surprised at Liv’s gift.”  The ADA stated.

“She’s not one to give alcohol as a present and flowers aren’t exactly ideal either.  She’s done this once before.  We were working a case and the suspect distracted her.  The building went up in flames while I was collecting information from the computer.  I had to dive out of the window and I ended up with some nasty scrapes.  Liv was so apologetic that she went to the nearest carnival and won the biggest giraffe that I’ve ever seen for me.”

“May I come in?”

“Right.  Sorry.”  You stepped to the side and Rafael entered your apartment.

“Cosy.”  He observed. 

“You didn’t come here just to deliver the gift, did you?”

Rafael shook his head, “I came here because our situations are similar.”  He sat down heavily on your couch and you copied him, putting the lion next to you on the floor and the blanket on the top of the lounge.

“When my parents immigrated from Cuba, my mamí was pregnant.  They weren’t able to raise the baby but being Catholic, they…there were no other options.  Mamí gave the baby up for adoption.  Three years later, she was pregnant with me.  Things weren’t stable but they were better.”

“Nevada is your brother.  How did you find out?”

Rafael glanced at you from the corner of his eye.  “When my father died, mamí was a wreck.  I was sorting through his things and that’s when I found the birth certificate and the letters that he had sent her.  The last letter he sent her was when I was nineteen and in college.”

“Our families do not define us.  What defines us are our choices and our actions.”

Rafael managed a small smile.

“I’m surprised at how quickly the case was solved.”

“That’s not the only surprising part.  The mole handed himself into the 16th precinct.  He gave a full confession, told Liv where to find the bug under Carmen’s desk,” you winced at that – Carmen didn’t need that added stress “and begged to be sent to a prison four states over.”

“Did you consider-”

“That Nevada had a hand in the sudden appearance of the mole?”  Rafael finished your thought.  “The thought crossed my mind.”

“But since there was no evidence to prove it…” You trailed off.

“Right again.”

“What if the mole was part of Nevada’s crew from the beginning?  That would mean that he set the whole thing up!  But, why?  What did he hope to gain?  Did he think that I would react the same way that Uncle Norman would have, with violence?  No, that doesn’t fit.  Nevada strolled into the precinct as if he knew everything about it and everyone.  He wouldn’t have done that if it meant placing himself in any kind of danger.  He has to know how erratic Uncle Norman’s behaviour could be.  I do.”

“Don’t go there.”

“What?”

“I know what you’re thinking.  Don’t think like that.”

“What if-”

“No.”  Rafael pressed play on the remote and placed the box of tissues in your lap as the movie continued.

Previous chapter

Next chapter

[alwaysachorusgirl]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

#12 “I can’t believer you’re this innocent” Barba please

Warnings: Priest!Barba au. Hint at smut, but not explicit. Still; MINORS DNI!

You looked up at Rafael with those big doe eyes which made his urge to kiss you even bigger. Yet he refrained from it.

“I was raised in the Catholic Church sir. I must abstain from the temptation of the devil.”

He huffed a laugh at that, caressing your cheek lightly. “Well. Not surprised you’re Catholic. But cariño you’re, you’re allowed to have some fun.

You looked up at him again, shocked when he smirked down at you.

“Father Barba—how can you speak like this when you too are part of the faith?”

He huffed a little, not quite knowing what to say. You might be too innocent for the things he wanted to do to you.

“Because, little lamb, I’ve read and studied the scripture, I know what can and can’t be enjoyed.” He moved closer but not too close as to give you no way out.

“And what can be enjoyed then?” You look up at him again with curious eyes. Almost like you’d shed a layer of innocence.

Rafael dared to let his hand moves some hair away from your face, then cup your cheek. And to his surprise you leant into his touch.

“You’re allowed to take care of your needs and wants—“

“Even if it’s needs and wants for someone I can’t have?”

He looked at you a little surprised. Who could this person be? Had he read into it all wrong?

“Father Barba, I am ashamed to say this, I’ve had impure thoughts, about you. That’s why I’m here today. I need to repent from my sins. I need to know I am still worthy in the eyes of the Lord.”

Rafael’s mind short circuit when you told him he was the one you desired. Both hands on your face now he pulled you closer. “You’re worthy, little lamb.” He whispered and you leant up, lips hovering in front of his.

It was him closing the gap between you two, dominating the kiss and letting his hands wander over your body. All you could do was hang on with your arms around his neck, whimpering against his lips.

“Tell me what it is you want, what is it you need?”

“I need you father Barba. All of you, please.”

~~~

Tagging:

@plaidbooks @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @thatesqcrush @alwaysachorusgirl @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @bisexual-dreamer02 @misscharlielulu @xoxabs88xox @muchadoaboutcj @beatrice-san @meetmeatyourworst @thats-jaywalking @cursedashes @mysoulisasunflower @crazy4chickennuggets @imaginelover88 @beccabarba @itsjustmyfantasyroom @detective-giggles @guitita @ladylionstar @achataa @nessamc @peauxheaux @silversprings-mp3 @polkadotpenguin16 @pepperbstark @im-a-slut-for-this-man2 @chickensarentcheap @irishavengersassemble

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[ryebecca]

── It's my birthday! So let's celebrate. 🥳

My birthday is this Saturday (8/3) and I'd like to come out of moodboard retirement for a bit and make some boards! Requests will be open through Saturday, 8/3 and I'll post them as I get to them!

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

This party has two rules and two rules only!

Requests are open to followers only!

One request / moodboard per person, please!

✨ Send me a character + a vibe or a few AUs for me to choose from (within reason! I reserve the right to do as I see fit because as a wise person once said "it's my party and I'll cry do what I want to") and I'll whip up a board!

You can choose from the following fandoms/characters:

Star Wars (OT characters - Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia; Sequel Trilogy characters: Poe Dameron, Finn, Rey)

Top Gun: Maverick (Bob Floyd, Jake Seresin, Natasha Trace, Bradley Bradshaw, Mickey Garcia, Javy Machado, Reuben Fitch, Beau Simpson)

Outer Range (Rhett Abbott)

Twisters (Tyler Owens, Scott)

Bridgerton (Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton)

Law & Order: SVU (Rafael Barba, Sonny Carisi, Terry Bruno)

Masters of the Air (John Egan, Gale Cleven, Harry Crosby, Robert Rosenthal)

Jane Austen...anything, really. 😂 Same goes for Shakespeare. Hell, Regency!AU is always an option for any of these!

That being said, enjoy! ✨

COMPLETED BOARDS (under the cut!)

Dadley Dadshaw (for @notroosterbradshaw)

60s/70s Rooster (for @roosterforme)

Scott (Twisters) @ MIT (for @hederasgarden)

Wedding Date Ryan (Yellowstone) (for @writercole)

Tyler vs. Rhett (for @a-reader-and-a-writer)

Picnic Time with Bobby (for @attapullman)

Camping with Tyler (for @imjess-themess)

1950s Bob (for @auroralightsthesky)

Modern Emma x Knightley (for @lafaerie)

Regency!Jake (for @desert-fern)

Bodyguard!Nat (for @startrekfangirl2233)

MotA / WWII Bobby (for @lenafromthenordiccoven)

Beach Bobby (for @wildbornsiren)

Fluffy Jake (for @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff)

Werewolf!Mickey (for @briseisgone)

Dagger Olympics (for @thiswaytoinfinity)

Road Trip with Scott (Twisters) (for @theharddeck)

Coffee Shop Bradley (for @oh-great-authoress)

Fake Dating Bruno (SVU) (for @rhettabbotts)

Benedict's Wedding Day (for @sorchathered)

Honeymoon Jake (for @bradshawbaby)

Post-War Buck (MoTA) (for @luminousnotmatter)

Teacher!Bobby (for @bradshawsbaby)

Feral Anthony (for @sometimesanalice)