#Rafael barba AU

[thatesqcrush]

These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends, Ch.2

Mafia!Barba x f! reader

AN: A prequel - how it all began.

WC: 2.7K

CW: language, violence (physical assault, gun violence, attempted rape)

one year earlier

“Your big bad wolf was here earlier. And he sat in your section. Took his order to-go when he learned you weren’t in.”

You paused from where you were marrying the ketchups. You knew exactly who your colleague Allie meant and your heart began to quicken.

A man so handsome, that it bordered on obscene. He was older than you with salt and pepper hair and green eyes that made your eyes burn. He was always in three piece suits and carried a black shiny briefcase.

The diner you worked at was a low-key, come-as-you-are spot with burgers, ice cream, endless coffee and donuts. You wore a classic waitress uniform: a pink checkered dress, a white apron, a white collar, and short sleeves with peaked white trim. Your skirt was short, but not dangerously so.

It was late, you had picked up a double shift as you needed the extra funds. Bills came every 30 days like clockwork.

This particular gentleman came in a few times per week. He always ordered the same thing - a carafe of coffee and a varied pastry. He would stay for an hour or two, furiously writing in a yellow legal pad and constantly checking his two phones. From what you were able to glean from brief moments of interaction, you knew he was a prosecutor.

He always sat in your section. And always left a generous tip.

You turned to your Allie. “Yeah, well I switched shifts so Flor could go to her kid’s recital. How would he know?”

“Watch him come back.”

“So you’re saying he’s a stalker?”

“Girl, if my stalker looked like that, I would gladly let him murder me in more ways than one,” Allie teased.

You gave her a pointed look and then took a deep breath before walking over to grab a coffee pot to re-fill customers cups.

The rest of the shift was slow, which you weren’t accustomed to. You weren’t surprised, given the cold, wet weather outside. It was the perfect weather for staying inside, in bed, and under a thick blanket watching movies or reading. There were two remaining customers, an elderly couple, and they weren’t even in your section. You leaned back against the wall by the service window and watched people passing by outside. You heard a rumble of thunder followed by a flash of light, indicating a passing storm was soon to appear. You sighed and turned your attention back to the elderly couple. They were adorable and sweet, you thought to yourself as they held hands across the table.

You were single and while not desperate, your battery operated boyfriend was taking a beating. Your last romantic relationship was with someone who was a big, dull dud.

On more than occasion, you played with Mr. Prosecutor in your fantasies. You wondered what it would be like to kiss those soft lips, feel his strong arms around you, to run your hands through his salt and pepper hair.

After the elderly couple had left, some thirty minutes later, you decided to wipe down the tables. You leaned over to grab the tip the elderly couple left when you heard the jingle of the bell above the door ring.

You turned around to greet the person when you realized it was him. His eyes met yours. His gaze was intense, almost hungry and a muscle flexed in his jaw. He wore a grey peacoat over a thin pinstriped suit. With his beard, he really did appear as if he were a big bad wolf.

He didn’t say anything but just gave a small nod. You felt yourself flush, a heat creeping up to your face.

You heard Allie’s bright, cheerful voice, greeting him and bringing him a menu. “Y/N will be right with you.”

You brought the dishrag back up to the counter watching Allie come back with a knowing smile on her face. Your eyes darted back and inwardly groaned at him rolling up his sleeves, showing off well defined forearms. His shirt fit him well, with suspenders that you wanted to snap back. He had a smidge of tummy that you wanted to sink your teeth into.

“Go get him Little Red Riding Hood,” your coworker, Allie teased before thrusting your checkpad into your chest.

You walked over, feeling your heart thudding loudly in your chest. You felt as if you were walking through molasses but also walking too fast if that were even possible.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had butterflies like this.

“You’re here late,” you remarked. Mr. Big bad wolf looked up at you, a cocky smile on his face. His green eyes disarmed you.

“I’d say the same applies to you,” he replied.

“Covering for someone,” you found yourself explaining. “Not my usual shift. As you know.”

A thick brow arched in response. The corners of his lips twitched, threatening to smile.

“Um, so your usual? Coffee and…?”

“What do you recommend?”

You were taken aback by the question, not expecting it. “We have a banana cream and a cherry pie that are good…”

“What would you personally order?”

“Me? Oh, easy. The coconut macadamia nut cake. It’s heaven.”

“I’ll take a slice of that then, angel.”

You blushed once more, squeaking a ‘coming right up,’ before spinning on the balls of your feet.

You made your way to the pie carousel to grab the pie and then walked back to the kitchen to properly slice it.

You caught your reflection in the napkin holder and cringed. Inside your apron was your lipstick and you grabbed the tube quickly to fix your lips.

Allie came through the swinging door and cheered at the sight of you applying lipstick. “Yes Red, go get him!”

You rolled your eyes. “Nothing is going to happen. But some friendly flirting doesn’t hurt.” You grabbed the pie and made your way back out.

—

You placed the slice of cake down - a generous slice if you will, along with the coffee. “You’ve come here enough times that we haven’t been properly introduced.” You stuck your hand out and gave your name.

“Rafael Barba.”

When his hand met yours, you could have sworn something electric went through the both of you. You gave him a smile. “Nice to meet you Rafael.”

“Pleasure is all mine,” Rafael replied, eyes crinkling as he smiled.

You blushed again. “Okay, I’m going to get back to work.” You gave him a smile and an awkward wave before dashing back to behind the counter.

Other people began to arrive and before you knew it, it had become busy again. You were distracted - every time you’d take an order, you’d surreptitiously gaze at Rafael.

Eventually Rafael approached the cashier and settled his bill, leaving another generous tip for you. You noticed that this time he had left his business card. You pocketed it into your apron with a smile and finished your shift.

—

You walked to the subway, your feet aching. It was late, the streets were empty save a person here and there. There was a shortcut down through an alley that would connect you to the subway more quickly.

Someone grabbed you from behind and you screamed. A gloved hand covered your mouth and you felt the cold steel blade of a knife against the curve of your jaw. You struggled, trying to break free and you felt the blade start to press your skin.

Tears streamed down your face. Another person emerged from the shadows. “Well, well, well, what do we have here? She’s cute.” Your eyes darted to the knife in that person's hand.

The man holding you shoved you towards his partner.

“We’ll have our fun.”

You tried to break free again, this time stepping on your assailant's foot hard.

The man let out a yelp and then knocked you to the ground.

“You stupid bitch.”

Your knees scraped against the gravel and you let out a cry. You felt a kick to your ribs and you cried again. You tried to stand up to run, but you were grabbed again and slammed against the brick wall - hard.

Your head pounded and you felt warm wetness drip down the side of your face.

You braced yourself for the next blow or worse, but it never came.

From somewhere far away, you realized someone else had joined the soirée. There was scuffling and cursing. There was the sound of fists hitting flesh, followed by the awful crunch of bones breaking which was then followed by two gun shots.

Then it all fell quiet.

As your world faded to black, the last thing you heard was, “Amaro, I need something taken care of. No witnesses.”

—

When you came to, you realized you weren’t in your apartment. Instead you were in an apartment that appeared as something out of Architectural Digest.

The apartment was enormous. It was freakishly spotless too. There was a coffered ceiling and an informal living room, adorned with a fireplace. The apartment was a gorgeous blend of refined and eclectic old-world charm. The walls were chic, painted black and matching leather Italian chairs. It gave off a moody vibe.

You were laying propped on a brown leather sofa. You looked down and realized you were no longer in your waitress uniform, but an oversized, faded Harvard t-shirt. Your wrist and ribs were taped. You reached for your temple and felt something akin to stitches. Your body ached everywhere and you were thirsty.

“Where am I?” you wondered out loud.

Your lobo emerged, concern etched on his face. “Oh good, you’re up,” he replied softly.

“Rafael?” You looked at him confusedly. “What happened? Where am I? Where are my clothes? Who stitched me up?” As you continued your questioning, panic in your voice increased.

“Shh,” Rafael rushed, sitting by your side. “You’re okay. You’re safe.”

He looked at you earnestly. Your eyes searched his, your gut telling you he was speaking the truth.

“You were attacked by two men. They tried to rape you. But it stopped.”

You looked at his face more intently. A black eye was forming, there was a cut on his lip. And when you looked at his hands, the knuckles were scraped and bruised.

“I heard a gun,” you replied softly. “That was you, wasn’t it?”

Rafael’s face turned stony. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

You worried your lip, chewing it. You tried to sit up and you winced. Rafael helped you sit up more, covering you up with your blanket that came off a bit. You looked at your bare legs and frowned.

“Did you change my clothes?”

Rafael shook his head. “I have a nurse and doctor on call and they had to in order to treat you.”

“Why didn’t you just take me to the hospital?”

“The hospital didn’t need to know. I have more than capable staff. Besides, they were hear within 10 minutes whereas in the hospital, it would have taken longer and there would have been too many questions.”

“Why do I have the feeling you’re more than just a lawyer?”

Rafael chuckled quietly, his voice dropping a bit. “Something like that.”

“Where’s my stuff? I need my phone.”

“Right there on the chair. Your phone is on the side table, charging. Are you hungry?”

You nodded. “Actually, I am. More thirsty than anything.”

“Lucia is my chief of staff, and she’s already working with the chef to whip up some food.”

You blinked. ‘Who is this guy?’

“I need to use the facilities.”

Rafael nodded. “Let me help you up.” You took his hands and allowed him to help you. You felt another spark as you grabbed his hands and wondered again if he felt it too. ‘He had to, right? Why else am I here? The man murdered two men for me.’

Rafael directed you to the bathroom. Once inside you gave yourself a onceover. Your face was scraped up and bruised. You gingerly touched the stitches along your temple. You looked down at your bruised ribs and knees which were covered in road rash. You felt your eyes well up and you willed yourself to not cry at this moment, but the tears came anyway.

Once finished, you wandered down the hall, following the sound of voices. You rapped gently on the open French doors, and poked your head in. Rafael was drinking a lowball of something and an older woman was also drinking something. Delicious smells permeated the air and your stomach rumbled loudly.

Rafael looked at you. “Everything okay?”

“I was just um- hoping for some pants?”

The older woman clapped her hands together. “Don’t you worry. I’ll have something for you shortly. Meanwhile, sit. Food is almost done.”

You took a seat at the table and looked around. This masculine Madrid kitchen featured custom black lacquered cabinetry throughout, antique Windsor chairs surrounded a table set with china and fine linen napkins.

“I am sure you have questions,” Rafael replied.

You nodded. “I do, but I just want to say thank you right now. For saving me. For ki— handling those other men.”

–

By the time you changed and ate, it was near dawn. “Look, I am super grateful for everything, but I think I need to get back home. My cat needs to be fed and…”

Rafael shook his head. “You are in no condition to be out and about. You need to rest. How about I send someone to get some stuff for you and take care of your… pussy.” He smirked.

You gasped slightly at the double entendre. “No, no, I have imposed enough. You saved my life, committed murder on my behalf…”

“I… expedited their passing.”

“Who are you? I mean really, who are you!” You asked, panicking once more.

Rafael squared his shoulders. “I’m the Assistant District Attorney for Manhattan.”

Your eyes narrowed. “I have a feeling you’re more than that. You killed two people! The government frowns on that. And it's against the law.”

Rafael let out a deep breath. “I’m underboss to a specialized organization within the DA’s office.”

“So you’re a mobster?”

Rafael laughed darkly. “Something like that.”

“Are you keeping me here to later kill me? So I don’t go screaming to the cops?”

Rafael laughed again. “The cops aren’t going to do shit. The DA’s office runs Manhattan.” Rafael walked over to you.

“I wouldn’t dream of hurting you cariño.” He traced your face with a finger. His eyes are unfathomably dark with hunger and lust. “So I’ll give you this choice - you can leave and you’ll never hear or see me again, or, stay a few days, rest and be taken care of for a change.”

You felt equal parts afraid and enticed. You wanted to leave, you wanted to stay.

You whimpered, and Rafael growled, crushing his lips against yours. Your head was spinning as he furiously sucked your bottom lip into his mouth before exploring your parted lips with his tongue.

I-I-I’m—I don’t—” Your thoughts were a mess. His hungry hands and mouth felt like they were going to devour you whole. He pulled back after a moment, disappointment clearly etched on his handsome face. You were panting, your eyes wide and lips swollen from Rafael’s kiss. You wanted him to stop touching you, but part of you felt like you might actually die if he stopped.

He sucked on your pulse point, eliciting a high pitched mewl from your throat. He palmed your breast through the soft material of the shirt you wore, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

You felt a sinful gush of wetness between your thighs.

“I’ll tell you what, how about you just stay the night? You are in no condition to be out and about. The doctor said you were concussed. Get some rest, think on it and you can decide tomorrow.”

“How do I know you’ll keep your end of the bargain?” you asked, your arms crossed.

“Because,” Rafael began, his voice dangerous and low, “as much as the universe wants us together, if you want to leave, I’ll keep my promise. I always keep my promise.” He grabbed your smaller hands in his.

You had yet to respond. Yes, you had a crush on the older man. But did you want this?

“Tell me you don’t want me.” He demanded, forcing you to whimper. “Tell me how bad I am. Tell me how you didn’t want this to happen. Didn’t want a bad man like me to take you and make you mine.”

Tags: @mgarner1227 @beccabarba @madpanda75 @itsjustmyfantasyroom @alwaysachorusgirl @melk917 @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @detectivebarba @detective-giggles @writefasttalkevenfaster @youreverycolor @mrsrafaelbarba @tintinxtintin @dreamlover31 @zoeykaytesmom @adarafaelbarba @qvid-pro-qvo @sass-and-suspenders @greeneyedblondie44 @bananas-pajamas @i-justreally-like-cats-okay @bisexual-dreamer02 @berniesilvas @rachelxwarren @neely1177 @ottosuricato @whoamelinda @its-just-me-chey @emandems10 @amelia-song-pond @garturbo @jazzyjoi @whatisthislife28 @mommakat32 @a-brignac @blueberryt @pieceofshittytitty @chasingeverybreakingwave

[indifferent-depravity]

Minors DNI 18+

CW: minor voyeurism

A/N: don't forget requests for everything are open so if you'd like to see anything from me feel free to drop it in my ask box :)

buy me a coffee!

help me escape abuse

my Etsy shop

Sequel to (and probably the start of an ongoing series) Dessert First

~~~

Sonny’s avoiding you, there’s no way around it. Ever since he walked in on you and Rafael in his office he’s run away at the mere mention of your name. And you have to admit, he’s gotten very good at excuses, always having one ready when you show up at Rafael’s office. So you do what every self-respecting person would. Corner him.

And as chance would have it, the perfect opportunity just falls into your lap. Sonny’s leaving Rafael’s office as you’re walking up and without thinking you grab his arm, pulling him into a dark meeting room. He keeps his eyes trained on the floor as he tries to make one of his famous excuses, inching towards the door, causing you to step in front of it. “You’re going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me,” you say firmly and cross your arms.

Sonny stutters, “I-I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, doll- ma-ma’am!” his face turns deep red and your face falls, an inexplicable ache settling in your chest at his correction.

“Did I do something to upset you?” You ask quietly, “Rafa and I think very highly of you, and if I did something then-“

His eyes shoot up to look at you, his hands hesitating in the air as he reaches for you, “N-no of course not!”

“You’ve never called me ma’am before.” You give him a cross look, “Dominick Carisi, don’t tell me there’s nothing going on because there is and I’m not letting you leave until you tell me.”

Sonny’s shoulders slump and he sighs, “Nothin’ gets past you, huh?” When you don’t reply he scrubs his hand across his face, “I-I just didn't know how to face you after… after walking in on you and Barba. I didn't mean to upset you, doll.”

You step closer to him and uncross your arms, reaching out to touch his wrist, “That’s what this is about? That wasn’t your fault, we should have locked the door, neither of us is upset about it.” Sonny jumps like you shocked him and shakes his head, almost tripping over a chair in his attempt to back away from you.

“It’s not that, I…It-it's not you that I’m upset with.” He sighs again, hanging his head, “I’m upset with myself… with–with the way I reacted.”

Your breath leaves you in a rush and you ask, heart pounding, “The way you reacted?”

Sonny sinks into the chair behind him with a sigh, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands, “Y’gotta understand how embarrassing this is, doll. You’re Barba’s partner and I respect that but- but when I saw you… like that, I just- it-” He trails off into a groan.

You press your lips together, thinking for a moment before taking a step towards him, “You know me and Rafael are polyamorous, right?” You ask and his head shoots up making you giggle a little at the absurdity of the situation. “Yeah, it’s something we talked about before we started dating.” You take another step towards him, settling between his splayed legs.

You reach towards Sonny to tuck a stray hair back into place, “Rafael’s been asking me about you, too. I think he could tell I’ve been taking a shine to you.” He gives you a dumbfounded look, gaping at you like a fish. You giggle again and cup his jaw, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb, “We were going to talk to you about it but then you started avoiding us before we could.”

Sonny hesitates, his hands hovering beside your thighs for a moment before dropping back into his lap. He swallows hard, leaning back to look up at you, “You’re not kidding?”

You roll your eyes and bend down, kissing him in lieu of answering. He makes a sound in the back of his throat when you pull away, resting your forehead against his, “Does that answer your question?

Sonny lets out a breathy laugh, “Yeah I guess it does.”

“Then you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you again?”

Sonny chokes, eyes flashing up to yours. You keep your eyes on him, waiting for an answer when he suddenly stands up, crowding you back against the table. You gasp at the sudden movement, bringing your hands up to grab his shoulders as he bends down to claim your mouth in a deep kiss. He wraps his arms around your waist and you whine into his mouth, arching into him.

Sonny’s breathing heavily when he pulls away, a faint blush settling high on his neck, “That okay?”

You smile and nod, standing on your toes to kiss him again, “More than.” You grow silent, enjoying the warmth radiating from him and the feeling of his lips on yours.

Sonny’s phone ringing brings you back to reality and Sonny staggers back, his face a deep red. “I-I’m sorry, doll, I didn’t mean- that was- that was inappropriate of me.” He rushes, going back to avoiding your gaze as he pulls his phone out, backing up towards the door, “I should- I should go, Liv is calling and-”

“Dominick.”

He freezes and you take the opportunity to close the gap between you, pulling him down by his neck into a kiss, “You’re going to come by my apartment after work and we’re going to really talk about this. Understood?” The tone in your voice left no room for protest and Sonny nods, his heart skipping a beat at your responding smile, “Good, I’ll see you later then.” You leave him with a final kiss, swallowing a giggle as you make your way to Rafael’s office.

You grin when you shut the door, a giggle finally bubbling out of your throat and Rafael snorts, “Got Carisi to talk, huh?” You nod, practically skipping over to him to greet him with a kiss.

“He’s coming to the apartment after work.” You grin, biting your lip as you try to control your excitement.

“About fucking time.”

~~~

You pace the living room of the apartment you share with Rafael, wringing your hands as you wait for Sonny to arrive. Rafael watches exasperated, catching your wrist on your next pass in front of him, “Cariño, please sit down, you’re making me nervous and I wasn’t even planning on fucking the guy.”

You roll your eyes with a sigh but sink down onto the couch beside him, though you couldn’t help it as your leg bounced nervously, “What if I scared him away, Rafael? What if he decided to just avoid me forever.”

He scoffs and pulls you into his side, planting a kiss on the side of your head, “Baby, calm down, I doubt Liv has even let him clock out yet.” You let out another deep sigh and tuck your face against his neck, trying to let his warmth relax you.

Twenty minutes later, the buzzer goes off and you shoot up, almost elbowing Rafael in the groin in your rush to get up. You throw a weak apology behind you as you tug open your door. You buzz Sonny in and bound down the stairs, knocking him off balance with a hug, “You’re here!”

He lets out a laugh and wraps his arms around you, “Of course I am. Sorry I’m late, doll.”

You pull back with a grin and lace your fingers with his, “It’s okay, you’re here now.” You tug him up the stairs back to your apartment. “Look who I found,” You announce as you enter the apartment and Rafael snorts, standing to meet you as you pull Sonny into the living room.

“Good of you to come, Carisi.” He nods and Sonny gives him a nervous smile, almost a grimace as he pulls his hand from yours, putting some distance between you under the gaze of Rafael.

You whip around to give Sonny a sharp look, “You better not be trying to leave.”

He holds his hands up in surrender with a small laugh, “Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.” His heart warms at your smile and he lets you direct him into a seat across from Rafael. You stand between them silently, butterflies filling your stomach as you look at the two men.

Rafael cooly leans back, fixing his eyes on Sonny, “So you want to fuck my partner.” Sonny immediately clams up, a bright red blush growing up his neck and you shoot a warning glare at Rafael.

“I-I don’t-  I mean, I do- I mean-” Sonny cuts himself off with a hard swallow, looking down at his lap as he runs his palms over his pants, “M-maybe I should just go.” You turn to Rafael with a harsh frown and he starts laughing.

“Carisi it’s fine. I mean look at them, it’s hard not to want to.” Sonny’s face goes red, glancing between you and the door. You press your lips into a thin line and sit down next to him, lightly touching his arm.

“What Rafael is trying to say, is he’s okay with us being together.” You say gently, sending another glare in Rafael’s direction, “He wants me to be happy. And he wouldn’t tease you like this if he didn’t like you.” Rafael grumbles at the last part but stays quiet as Sonny takes a shaky breath.

Sonny looks at you, eyebrows pinched together with worry, and places his hand over yours “Doll, I-I don’t want to step on any toes here. Y-you’re happy with Barba and-”

“Carisi just shut up and kiss my wife.” Sonny gapes at him and you snort, sliding a hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down into a kiss before he could protest. He makes a shocked noise in the back of his throat but kisses back, tangling his hand in the hair at the nape of your neck.

You smile into the kiss, gently pushing him back so you can swing your leg over his. You settle into his lap and break the kiss with a sharp breath, “Don’t let him intimidate you, he’s just bossy when he’s not the center of attention.” Rafael scoffs with a murmured “No I’m not” and you giggle softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of Sonny’s mouth. Sonny’s hands hover over your thighs, his breath quickening at your warmth soaking through his pants. You guide his hands under your skirt with a hum, “You can touch me, Dominick.”

A whimper rips from his throat and he grabs handfuls of your thighs, eyes already glazed over with lust when he looks up at you. You nod encouragingly and grind against his lap, leaning into another deep kiss. He moans into your mouth, bucking up into you before he could stop himself.

You hum, hands coming up to undo his tie as you trail soft kisses over his jaw. Sonny’s fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs and you rock back into his hands with a moan, “That’s it, baby, just like that.” Sonny wets his lips, head tilting back with a shaky sigh to give you more space as your kisses dip down to his neck.

You delve your hands into his shirt, digging your fingers into his shoulders as you grind against him. “D-doll, I-” He trails off into a moan, squeezing his eyes shut as his hips buck up into you again.

“Don’t tease the man, Cariño.” Rafael’s voice breaks the silence, a hitch in his breath as he palms himself through his pants.

You hum, “Stop backseat fucking if you’re not going to join. I’m trying to ease him into it.” You nudge your nose against Sonny’s ghosting your lips over his, “He needs to tell me what he wants.” Sonny cranes his neck to deepen the kiss, whining softly when you pull out of reach with a murmur, “C’mon baby, be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

“I want… I want to fuck you. Please let me fuck you.” You smile, leaning down to kiss him gently. Sonny’s hands travel up your skirt and squeeze your ass before slipping to the front of your panties, fingers slipping underneath the fabric to press against your clit. Your breath catches, a small whimper falling from your lips as Sonny pushes his tongue into your mouth.

“Turn around, Cariño, I want to watch your face as he fucks you.” Your cunt throbs at his words and you slip off Sonny’s lap, standing long enough to pull your panties down your legs before settling back against his chest. “Lift your skirt, baby. Let me see that pussy.” Rafael watched with hooded eyes as you pulled your skirt up to your hips, squeezing his hard cock through his pants as your pussy comes into view. You’re wet with arousal, thighs sticky with your juices.

You tilt your head back against Sonny’s shoulder as he runs his fingers through your folds and groans at the smooth glide of his fingers through your wetness. “Fuck, doll.” He bites his lip as he sinks his fingers into your core, his other hand coming up to grip your hip and ground himself as he slowly fucks his fingers into you. You whine, grinding your hips down in a silent plea for more.

Your hands reach back, blindly fumbling with Sonny’s belt for a moment before it gives way, allowing you to push your hand into his pants. He gasps at the first touch to his cock, fingers stilling inside you as you start stroking him, ignoring the strain in your wrist from the position as you spread his precum down his shaft.

At Rafael’s groan, you look back at him, whining as you watch him slowly stroking his cock. He smirks at you, squeezing the base of his cock with a satisfied sigh, “Go on, Cariño, ride Carisi’s cock. Be good for me.”

You nod and rise on shaky knees to align Sonny’s cock with your entrance, leaning back to connect your lips in a deep kiss as he slowly sinks into you. Sonny whines into your mouth, gripping your hips tightly as you bottom out. He holds you against his lap and his forehead falls forward onto your shoulder, “Fuck! Fuck, doll, y’gotta give me a second or I’ll blow my load too fast.”

You giggle breathlessly, closing your eyes as you swivel your hips experimentally. A grin forms on your face as Sonny lets out a loud groan, slamming his hips up into you. You let Sonny choose the pace, body pliant under his hands as he starts guiding your hips to grind against him.

You bring your hand up to cup the back of Sonny’s neck, pulling him into a sloppy kiss, moaning into it as his cock hits a spot deep inside you. He’s whimpering, thrusting his hips desperately into you, driven half-crazy by your tight wet heat surrounding his cock. You feel fingers on your clit and you cry out, bleary-eyed as you look to see Rafael over you, pressing harsh circles against your core.

“You gonna cum for us, Cariño? Gonna be a little slut and cum on Carisi’s cock in front of me?” His voice has a mocking edge to it as he presses his fingers against your clit harder, your body tensing as it pushes you closer to the edge.

You whine, tilting your head up with a pout, “R-Rafa, don’t be mea-” You’re cut off by a ragged moan, thighs clenching around Sonny’s legs as Rafael rips an orgasm out of you. You shudder, pressing your face into Rafael’s stomach as tears prick your eyes from the overwhelming feeling of hands on you.

Sonny chokes “d-doll, ‘m gonna--” his hips stuttering as you tighten around him, pulling him over the edge with you.

Rafael tips your head up and hums when you look at him with a hazy gaze, returning his hand to his neglected cock. He strokes himself quickly, breath coming out in short pants as he takes in your wrecked look. “You look so good getting fucked, Cariño. All desperate and whiny once you get a cock in you, huh?” You let out a whine with a pout and he laughs breathlessly, pressing his thumb into your mouth, “Just proved my point, baby.” He forces your mouth open and his laugh morphs into a low groan as he cums, covering your mouth and tongue with his release.

You swallow and slump back against Sonny, a satisfied grin stretching across your face when he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you tighter against his chest, “You’ll never be able to get rid of me now, Dominick.”

“Who said I wanted to?” He hums, tucking his face into your neck as his cock twitches inside you. Your eyes slip shut and you sink further into Sonny’s embrace, basking in the warm afterglow.

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Sounds of Justice - Master List

Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), mentions of rape (not to the reader), and unwanted advances (nothing happens to the reader).

A/N: This is my response to the mafia AU poll that I posted. It was a challenge to write it but it was worth it. Comments and reblogs are very much welcomed and I hope you enjoy the fic. Please take notice of the warnings; they are exactly the same as the warnings on this page and they will be at the top of each chapter.

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

[storiesofsvu]

Best Friend Duty

Requested. Platonic!Harvard!Barhoun Rita Calhoun x Rafael Barba besties. Could technically be read as a previous relationship or the beginning of a romantic relationship, but also just as besties. Cause lets be real, these two are besties who have fucked at least once. No real warnings, just some sickness, and a teeeeeeny glimpse of isolated childhood. Obvious sass & language.

Rafael had almost been confused when he’d come home to a quiet apartment, Rita was usually awake late, pouring over case studies, law journals, writing papers or going over mock arguments. Instead he was met with just a lamp in the corner of the living room, an open text book on the coffee table beside a nearly full bowl of pasta, silence and darkness echoing through the rest of the apartment. Glancing down the hallway he noticed that Rita’s bedroom door was shut, no light coming from under it and he almost wondered if she’d finally decided to go out on a school night.

Knowing she wouldn’t care; he tossed the food into the microwave to scarf down as his own very late dinner, glancing through what she’d been studying before disappearing, unsurprised to find it was related to the most recent essay assignment they had. Frowning, he took another bite of pasta, that was one thing he’d always enjoyed since moving in with Rita for their third year at Harvard, getting to come home and go over law material, courses and assignments with each other. When he lived in the dorms he was stuck with randoms, not necessarily the same department, year or interests. With Rita he felt at home, at peace and despite her not having a single maternal bone in her body, he felt taken care of. Her coming home with extra groceries when he was having trouble balancing work with school, his paycheques taking a hit because of it, bribing him into shopping trips on the weekends because he had a better fashion sense than her girlfriends. Those trips that always ended up with her commenting that he’d need a good suit to kick off his career, slowly building up his wardrobe one piece at a time as a thank you. Having someone around who understood how his brain worked, someone who was respectable, quiet and knew to keep the lights low when he’d been studying too long and his migraines were starting to settle in.

It balanced out because the best she could do in the kitchen was scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, vegetables thrown together randomly to be called a salad, or unseasoned shrimp and rice on a good day. Rafael started adding things to the grocery list a few weeks into moving in, appreciating that she always picked the things up so he could cook them actual, seasoned and delicious food. Shopping balanced out because he really did have a good fashion sense, even if it was more impacted by Rita, and his memory was impeccable, he’d be able to spot a pair of earrings that would go with a suit she’d bought months ago, forgotten at the back of her closet. And while she was guiding him through his migraines, he was the one who would always make sure she actually ate, that coffee was brewed at the beginning of the day, that she put away the textbooks and go to bed sometime before dawn if they had class the next day.

Things were completely platonic, but they loved each other, and they knew they always would. Best friends from the moment they met despite what society’s expectations would say, hell, despite what some of their classmates would say. They belonged in each others lives, they helped take care of each other, work through the toughest times together and they would always be there for each other.

Which is why when Rafael rolled over in the middle of the night and his arm hit something that wasn’t a pillow, he wasn’t totally confused. He groaned softly, shifting on the bed, his eyes scrunching tightly shut in an attempt to hold onto his sleep, his hand finding Rita’s elbow, rubbing gently as he relaxed into the pillows.

“Did you really have to punch me in the tit?” She grumbled and he let out a huff.

“You’re the one invading my bed.” He groaned, “what’re you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” She replied, a hoarse cough breaking up her words, “my room’s freezing. I’m freezing.”

Rafael wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush to her before his hand wandered up, the back of it resting against her forehead, “you’re burning up.”

“Shut up.” Rita mumbled, readjusting so she was comfortable in his arms, “lemme sleep.”

“So… you snuck into my room at four a.m. to what? Cuddle….?” He chuckled.

“I came into your room for comfort, and for warmth.” Her fingers pinched at his wrist, “so can we just go back to sleep?”

“Sure.” Rafael laughed softly, squeezing at her softly, “you know you’re cute when you’re half asleep like this.”

“Will you just hold me!” Rita let out a near whine and he could hear her voice breaking, frowning as he knew there were likely tears building in her eyes. It wasn’t often that Rita behaved like this, that she felt like this, that she desired to depend on someone else. It was clear to Rafael by the time his eyes were shutting again that she definitely wasn’t feeling one hundred percent, his arm winding tightly around her waist, making sure she was fully in his embrace as they fell back asleep.

*

Rita didn’t wake up until the early afternoon, the bed empty but blankets wrapped tightly around her, a sealed bottle of water sat on the nightstand beside a pack of Tylenol and it appeared Rafael had even gone to the length of grabbing the portable heater from her room to make sure she was no longer freezing. She definitely wasn’t, she felt almost sticky with sweat, her mouth dry and her head throbbing as she ever so slowly rolled over to grab the medicine and water. Her throat was on fire as she swallowed, the pills barely making it down and she groaned before breaking into a small coughing fit, wincing at the pain in her chest already. Whatever this was, it was hitting her hard and hitting her fast. Her only positive thought was that if came on this quickly maybe it would be gone within twenty four hours.

The coughing alerted Rafael that she was finally awake, the door creaking open and his head popping through it to see how she was, “are you up, up or just taking meds?”

“Up, up.” She replied with a groan, “I feel disgusting, I need to shower.” She attempted to push herself to her feet but swayed heavily and Raf darted through the room, an arm winding around her waist.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m fine.” She insisted and he chuckled.

“You snuck into my bed in the middle of the night to be held, there’s clearly something wrong with you.”

“Shut it.” A small laugh broke out on her lips but it was just as quickly turned into another coughing fit, Rafael’s hand rubbing soothing circles on her back until she’d calmed down.

“Okay, let’s get you into the bathroom, at the very least the steam from the shower might help loosen some of that up and if you’re too dizzy a lazy washcloth shower will do, you’re just gonna sweat through your next sleep again anyways.”

“Are you planning to stay glued to my side the whole day? I’m not letting you in the bathroom with me.”

“Okay, then you can enjoy cracking your head open on the tub when you fall.”  He squeezed at her side gently, nudging her in the direction of the bathroom and she tried to shoot him a glare but her vision suddenly blurred and she paused a moment to shake out of it.

“Fine.”

Rita made him stay out of the bathroom until she was stripped down and hidden behind the shower curtain but did admit defeat and let him know she was sitting down after a couple of minutes. Even if it wasn’t the dizziness it was the general unwell feeling aching through her muscles, the shakiness of her hands as she tried to scrub the sickness away.

“You know maybe if you hadn’t skipped dinner last night you’d be able to make it through a shower.” Rafael called over the water.

“I didn’t skip dinner.”

“Rita, there were all of two bites taken out of that pasta and we both know it.”

“I wasn’t hungry.” She protested back, reaching up to turn off the taps, “and I was exhausted. I chose sleep over nourishment. Hand me a towel.” A warm, fluffy green one popped up between the shower curtain and the wall,

“Be careful when you stand up, and I’m leaving clothes on the basin for you.”

“Thanks.”

Rita waited until she heard the bathroom door click shut before she managed her way to her feet, cautiously stepping out of the tub to dry herself off. She couldn’t help but softly smile at the pile of clothes Rafael had left out for her, a pair of plaid pyjama pants of his that she tended to steal out of the laundry, a worn high school debate club shirt of her own and a Harvard hoodie they weren’t entirely sure who the correct owner was at this point. Pulling the hoodie tighter around her with a little shiver she padded out to the main part of the apartment, the television was on low, textbooks and note pads strewn across the coffee table next to a half full coffee cup. She made a beeline for the couch, tugging the blanket off the back of it before collapsing onto the cushions and wrapping it around herself. She snagged the remote, turning the volume up a bit before starting to channel surf to find something more entertaining to watch.

“Whatever you’re cooking smells amazing.”

“Good.” He chuckled, “it’s for you.”

“What?” She asked with a croak, sitting up and looking over the back of the couch to Raf in the kitchen.

“I figured you were coming down with something so I ran to the store this morning, picked up ingredients for soup.”

“Can’t that just come out of a can?”

“Sure. If you want bland, unseasoned crap.” He laughed, turning the heat down to a simmer, “didn’t your mom ever make you soup when you were sick as a kid?”

“Bold of you to assume my mother ever cooked anything for me. And if I was sick she’d throw some children’s Advil in the direction of my father and shuttle me off to the nannies for the week.”

“No wonder you hate being sick so much.” He frowned, crossing through the room, “it’s not about the actual illness, is it?”

“Being sick sucks.” Rita sighed, dropping back into the cushions, burrowing under the blanket as Raf perched on the arm of the couch. “You already feel like crap, you can’t do anything, your energy is zapped, you either have no appetite or you’re throwing up constantly. You’re not allowed to go to school and nobody wants anything to do with you so you’re holed up on your own feeling like you’re in isolation until you’re better.”

“You were the kid who sat up studying and doing homework while off sick, weren’t you?” He raised a brow in her direction and she looked up at him with a sheepish expression before scoffing.

“Yeah.” She tugged the blanket tighter under her chin, “can’t fall behind.”

“Well then be glad it’s the weekend.” He teased, a hand coming to ruffle at her hair and he clicked his tongue, “did you seriously wash your hair and not dry it?”

“I seem to remember getting lectured about not standing for too long.” She glared up at him and he rolled his eyes.

“If you sleep with it like this it’s going to be a tangled mess when you wake up and I already don’t wanna hear it. Gimmie a second.”

Rita let out a huff, her gaze falling back onto the television as he disappeared from the room. She heard the click of the kettle as he passed through the kitchen before he wandered down the hall for a couple of minutes, rustling around in one of the other rooms. By the time he came back the water was boiling and when he returned to the couch there was a steaming mug in his hand thrust into Rita’s line of sight.

“Sit up.” He instructed, “and take this.”

She grumbled but did as he asked, sitting with her back against the arm of the couch as Rafael situated himself on it once again. She noticed that the tea wasn’t one of their usual tea bags, a mix of scents wafting off the beverage and a cinnamon stick floating inside of it. Behind her, Rafael’s fingers shook out her damp hair, making sure he wasn’t going to come across any large knots before parting it down the center and starting to make two French braids. She let out a little happy hum, appreciative in the way that he wasn’t shying away from her when she was sick, that he hadn’t banished her to her bedroom until she was better, he didn’t seem to have any issues with potentially picking up whatever germs she was carrying. Truthfully, that was because he knew she had likely been contagious all week and they shared practically everything already. They frequently stole food off each other’s plates, finished the other person’s coffee and used the same utensils. Whenever Rita found the time to bake he knew she regularly licked batter off the mixing spoon to make sure it tasted good before continuing to make whatever she was making. Germs was just something added to the list of things they shared.

“There’s something in this I can’t place.” She murmured as Rafael began the second braid and he laughed softly.

“Likely the garlic.”

“Garlic?!” She tried to turn her head and only managed to yank the hair he was currently holding, wincing as she turned her head back forward, “why?”

“It’s one of Mami’s classic recipes.” He replied with a shrug, nodding toward the stove, “same with the soup. Anytime I was sick she’d make a huge batch of both to last all week. When I was younger there was usually homemade bread to go along with it and I got to either sleep on the couch all week or in her bed. Extra popsicles too. While the actual illness sucked there were definitely some upsides to getting to stay home sick.”

“Sounds fake.” Rita grumbled, taking another swig of the tea.

“Well we’ve figured out by now that we had very different childhoods.” He wrapped the elastic around the second brain, then leant forward, kissing the top of her head, “you’re all done. Hungry?”

“Tired.” She replied back, draining the last of her tea before placing it down on the coffee table as Rafael climbed off the side of the couch.

“Alright. Get some rest, I’ll make sure to be quiet.”

“Where are you going?” She whined, pouting at him as he headed back to the kitchen.

“Figured you wanted to sleep.”

“I kinda hijacked your hangout place.” She gestured to the coffee table covered in his things.

“I can set up in the kitchen, or my room.”

“You really don’t have to.”

Rafael watched the way she frowned, the little shiver that danced through her body before his lips split into a grin, “you want me to stay.” He sauntered back over to the couch, “don’t you? Sick Rita is needy Rita, isn’t she? You want more cuddles.”

“Well I don’t wanna be alone.” She deflected and he laughed, “besides, just a little nap for the drugs to kick in and then I want some of that soup.”

“Alright.” Smirking he nudged her shoulder so she could sit up again and dropped onto the couch, “make yourself at home.”

Rita collapsed into his lap, letting out a happy sigh when his hand automatically landed in her hair, fingertips gently rubbing at her scalp. It only took a couple of minutes before she was asleep again, snoring softly and Rafael tucked the blanket in a little tighter around her shoulders. She’d been sick a couple of times during their years at Harvard but this was the first time when they’d been living together and now he felt a little bad for not checking up on her when he was still in the dorms. She clearly craved the contact and honestly had no clue how to take care of herself, it was no wonder the flu in first year took her out for a full two weeks.

The hand he had in her hair softly moved to her back, rubbing slow circles through the blanket, making sure she was as comfortable as she could get while she slept. She needed the rest and now he really knew just how touch starved she was, certain that if he even got up to use the bathroom she would be whining in her sleep. Halfway through the afternoon he felt his eyes drooping, whatever she’d chosen on the television serving zero interest to him and he gingerly shifted her so he could slide between her and the back of the couch, wrapping her in his arms as he slipped under the blanket.

The timer on the stove woke them up just as the sun was starting to set, jolting them both out of their calm sleeps.

“Sorry.” He murmured, slowly untangling their limbs.

“S’okay.” She replied with a yawn, “probably wouldn’t sleep through the night otherwise.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed at her shoulder, “feeling better?”

“A bit.”

“Take some more meds.”

“Is it time for soup?” She asked, rubbing at her eyes as she sat up and he couldn’t help but smile at just how little she looked right now.

“Yeah.” He padded through the kitchen, flicking the burner off before digging through the pantry, “you want some of this sourdough with it?”

“Please.”

A moment later Rita let out a happy groan at the smells wafting through the room as Rafael took the lid off the pot and added a few last minute things. She picked up her water, swallowing down a couple more pills before she shifted on the couch, nestling into the corner so Rafael could sit beside her. She flicked through a couple of channels until she found one of their joint favourite movies about to start and hummed in satisfaction.

“Here.” Rafael returned to the couch with the food, a fresh mug of tea placed on the table for her, “careful it’s hot.”

“Smells amazing.”

“Surprised you’ve still got a sense of smell.” He teased and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s more in my throat.”

“That I can tell,” he grinned, “you sound like Kermit.”

“Fuck you.” She muttered, opting to ignore him and focus on the soup instead, humming softly when the flavours hit her tongue. Beside her Rafael simply smiled, glad that she was actually eating and getting nutrients in while sick instead of living off saltine crackers.

Empty bowls of soup lay abandoned on the coffee table, Rita’s mug of tea refilled and Rafael had grabbed a beer from the fridge for himself. The movie was just over halfway through and Rita was neatly tucked under Raf’s arm, nestled into the crook of his neck while his hand softly rubbed up and down her arm. Her breathing was pretty regulated, only small coughs here and there now that Rafael had dug through the bathroom until he found some cough syrup from his last bought of illness for her. She was no longer alternating between shivering and being too hot, having to shove the blanket off her, a happy medium where she was slowly starting to feel like an actual human again.

“Rafa?” She asked, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He turned his face to leave a gentle kiss on the top of her hair, “that’s what best friends are for.”

A comfortable silence took over them as the movie began to wrap up before she quietly spoke again.

“Raf?” This time her voice was almost timid and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yes you can sleep in my bed again tonight.”

________________

@svulife-rl rl @mickey-gomez @clarawatson @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @godard-muse @thatesqcrush @daddy-heather-dunbar @alcabots @kmc1989 @valentinesfrog @originalbrunettecharacter @swimmingstudentchaos891 @prentiss-theorem @witches-unruly-heart @plaidbooks

[moodiboards]

A little moodboard for @plaidbooks who’s working on mafia boss!Rafael😍🤩 the original one I made didn’t want to post here so I’ll see if I can send it to you on discord 😅

[professorwerewolfmcwerewolf]

I haven't thought this through much but okay. I love Vampire!Barba fics. Especially love vamp!Barba/human!Carisi fics. And I'm finally joining the Chappell Roan obsession beyond Hot To Go and Good Luck Babe. So on first and second impression, Red Wine Supernova sounds like it'd be a hot vamp/human Barisi songfic. 👀🩸🧛‍♂️

Aka the line "Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck" + symbolism of red wine = this song is Obviously about a vampire 😂

[random-barba-hc]

I seriously wished The Undiscovered Country would've been more like Barba recused himself from the case. Then Olivia would take him to the hospital and so he could explain to the Householders what might happen now there's a new ADA handling the case (i.e. SVU may no longer be able to communicate details to Maggie about the case, the ADA could cut Aaron a deal, depending on how severe the charge there may be a complete termination of Aaron's parental rights). Liv goes to check on Aaron while Barba and Maggie have a private conversation. Olivia comes back to get Barba, Aaron needing time to process, and they leave. Afterward, Maggie shuts off Drew ventilator. Both are charged together with conspiracy to commit second degree murder.

During pretrial motions, Rita (yes, I thought she'd be a much better choice for Barba's defense attorney) and requests to sever the case with the reasoning Maggie is merely avoiding accountability by blaming others for her actions, which the judge grants.

We would've gotten the freakin' trial we deserved. Rita's closing statement being while unwise to have talked with Maggie considering the circumstances, it was an emotional time for Barba as well (recusing himself because he knew he couldn't act impartially) and was simply trying to comfort a woman with a huge weight on her shoulders that he was familiar with. Despite how much he hated his father, it still took Barba six weeks to act on it (the choice to do so was given to him). Maggie ended her son's life, which she claimed to do out of love, but she assumed that responsibility solely by herself and had not even hesitated to do so once she felt the approval of someone who was essentially a total stranger.

There was so much wasted potential with the BX9 story and the quick mention of what happened to Heredio. Hell, I would've been fine if concern over his mother's safety is what caused her move to Florida instead (Sightless in a Savage Land s22e4), and Barba went with her (perhaps more of the Diaz side of the family was there too). Honestly, anything that could've avoided The Undiscovered Country, People vs Richard Wheatley, and The Christmas Episode.

[malevolent-muse]

Update: Finally Forsaken - SVU Fan Fic

 *This is a LONG FIC that is UPDATED most WEEKENDS*

Fandom: SVU/CI/Chicago PD Ships: Goren/Benson, Carisi/ OFC/ OMC Status: WIP  Rating: Explicit Warnings: Violence, Non-Con Summary: The final work in the Trials and Tribulations Series. After all he has been through: the abduction, getting rescued years later, being committed to a mental institution, and having to fight to be reinstated as a detective, Robert Goren has reached the events that will carve out his final destiny or his doom.

 Far too long to post on Tumblr. My apologies but to read this I'll have to redirect you to AO3 to read the new chapter.

For the full Trials and Tribulations of Robert Goren series click HERE to read from the beginning.

Like this work? Join the Tag List

Tagged: @reidsbiitch , @drwho-ess , @redbeatle12 , @malindacath , @thiccwookiebahookie

[soul-wanderer]

Okay, but hear me out on this one (tw for mentions of abuse ahead):

- Rafael and Nick meeting when they’re around 17/18 years old. Nick is a year or two younger than Rafael and still has a year of High School left, while Rafael is about to graduate

- At first they don’t really like each other, they just seem to be too different, but Rafael still can’t stop keeping an eye on Nick, who looks like trouble at first glance but actually spends a lot of time studying at the library by himself. Rafael often casually keeps him company, claiming to prepare for college, but while he does that - he got big plans after all - he also helps Nick with most of his schoolwork and Nick appreciates that

- Rafael senses there is more to Nick staying at the library for so long each day, because he had been in the same position before, reluctant to go back home after school. It takes a while to earn Nick’s trust, and it does help when Rafael opens up about how his own father had been abusive before he and his mother had finally been able to leave him. Nick had been surprised by this, but days later he had finally opened up about his own father and Rafael hadn’t reacted with pity, but sympathy

- They get closer after that, though both push aside any feelings that might be labelled romantic, but Nick still gets knots in his stomach at the thought of Rafael leaving him behind when moving on to college. But Rafael promises to be there for him, always, and reminds him that it’s only one more year until he would be ready for college, too. After graduation, he still helps Nick, offers that he could stop by his home any time, especially when his father was having one of his episodes again

- When Rafael moves into his own apartment, things also seem to get worse with Nick’s father, so Rafael offers that Nick can move in with him permanently once he’s graduated and Nick gladly takes him up on his offer. The place isn’t big, but Nick was spending most of his time at Rafael’s place already anyway, so it wouldn’t be much of a change for either of them, really

- Nick is a bright person and with Rafael’s help he manages to graduate and get into college, ready to start working on his own future. Rafael had been one of the first people to believe in him and his plans and was nothing but supportive, even if he could be a little tough at times, not wanting Nick to slack when it came to academics. They had a similar family history, after all, and he was all too aware that they both needed to work hard if they wanted to create a better future for themselves

 - There are a lot of sleepless nights and long days, both working hard on earning their degrees, and somewhere along the way they finally realize and accept their feelings for each other too, and while they are not ready to be public about it - especially not with family still too close - they find comfort in each other and get each other through the hard days, especially when old memories come back up again

- Rafael is so, so proud when Nick gets his degree and starts working for the police to work towards becoming a detective, and Nick is equally proud when Rafael gets accepted into law school to become a lawyer. Throughout the years they keep being each other’s rock and at the end of the day, they both sometimes look back on when they first met, because it also showed them how far they’ve come with each other’s love and support

[dannygpino]

I had two thoughts last night as I was falling asleep:

Barmaro AU where David Alvarez (of "West Side Story" (2021) fame) is their son through a surrogate. Don't ask me the logistics or anything cause I haven't figured that out yet.

Barmaro AU where they're like Kamala Harris and Doug Emhoff and they're set up on a blind date by a mutual friend (Olivia) while Rafael is still an ADA in Brooklyn and Nick is still in Warrants.

[hoobgooblinn]

*stands silhouetted against a lamppost on a misty night*

[thatesqcrush]

Beautiful Sinner (Priest! Barba AU), Prologue & Ch. 1

Priest! Barba x f! reader | SVU au

Rating: NSFW for language, graphic smut, basic desecration of religious upbringing.

WC: 8.6K

AN: I am so going to hell. One way ticket for lil old me.

AN2: Big thanks to @beccabarba for reviewing and being my soundboard.

Prologue:

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been, It's been too long since my last confession.”

“Go ahead,” the voice behind the screen began. “Tell me your sins.”

You shivered at the tambor of the words spoken. And you know that your sins were also their sins.

“I'm not seeking penance for what I've done, Father. I'm asking forgiveness for what I'm about to do,” you clarified. Your voice was soft.

“That’s not how this works,” the familiar voice replied. “What exactly are you going to do?”

You let out a shaky breath and heat flushed your cheeks. You began to unbutton your blouse. “I think you already know, Father.”

— Ch. 1—

*six months earlier*

It was a blistering summer day in Manhattan, the sun beating down relentlessly, casting sharp shadows on towering skyscrapers. The pavement radiated intense heat, mirages shimmering above the asphalt street. The air was thick with a suffocating blend of exhaust fumes, unpicked garbage bags and urban heat. City dwellers sought refuge in shaded pockets, and the city seemed to pulsate with the collective desire for relief from the oppressive heat.

It also happened to be your first weekend in your new home-a nine-story walk up in Hudson Heights.

You received your pink slip and had to make the hard decision to move. Your aunt was subletting her apartment while she traveled across the Borneo rainforests. Transitioning to a more modest apartment was a challenging shift. You had to adapt to a different community vibe and recalibrate your lifestyle expectations. You had introverted tendencies but you tried to remain resilient, focusing on navigating this life change as a time to reset.

You opened the window and stuck your head out. Spanish music played outside loudly and the normally traffic filled street was closed, with people milling about. It was the annual block party for the neighborhood, with vendors and entertainment alike. The food smelled wonderful and your stomach growled in response. The sound of a knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. You ducked your head, making sure to avoid giving yourself a concussion. “Coming!” You called out as your bare feet padded the floor. You knew who it was - Maria, your next door neighbor who you met on move-in day. Maria was friendly with your aunt and you knew that she had promised your aunt that she’d keep an eye on you. She was close in age to you and immediately offered you a helping hand, helping you bring up boxes. You thanked her with pizza and beer and the two of you were on your way to becoming fast friends.

When Maria had texted you earlier in the week,” ‘Block party! Want to come with?’ it was an easy yes.

You opened the door and let Maria in. “Just need shoes and my bag. Help yourself if you want anything,” you called out, heading back towards your bedroom.

You heard your fridge open, the cacophonous sounds of beverages clanking together followed by the click and hiss of a can opening. Soon enough, you were both on your way.

–

Time flew and you found yourself really enjoying yourself. Eventually Maria had to leave - she was meeting her boyfriend and his sister to head into Queens to catch the Mets game.

You were still beyond hot, the humidity was thick, almost choking you. You pulled out a claw clip from your bag and pinned your hair up. Just even having the damp strands off the nape of your neck provided some, albeit, minimal relief. In that moment, you missed your pixie cut from years prior.

The local fire department had opened the fire hydrant and there was a gaggle of kids playing in the water. You looked at the water longingly before you internally said ‘fuck it,’ and ran through the open fire hydrant. The force of the water was stronger - and colder - than you had anticipated and you let out a shriek. You ran through it once more - this time not as close to the hydrant - enjoying the water washing over your overheated skin. Sufficiently cooled off, you continued on your way through the neighborhood.

There was a generalized area with a tent set up for community outreach. Curiosity piqued, you moseyed on over. You picked up a pamphlet - St. Blaise Church. You were religious as a child, it was as how your parents raised you. As an adult, you found yourself straying away, not agreeing with the church’s ideals which contradicted your more liberal beliefs. Sometimes, though, you found yourself missing it - especially during Christmas and Easter, when the congregation would meet up together in mass throngs. There was something about community that made you wistful.

“Interested in the Church?” a voice questioned. You looked up and you locked eyes with a handsome man. That was an understatement. He was obscenely good looking. Almost as if it hurt to look at him straight on. You felt a jolt straight to your core. No one should look as good as he did.

He took your breath away with his green eyes and thick, fitted build. His hair was dark with flecks of gray at the temples. His salt and pepper beard neatly framed his jawline. The man gave you a smile, his eyes crinkling. Crow's feet gracefully fanned out from the corners of his eyes, evidence of a life rich in laughter and stories. Dressed in comfortable yet stylish summer attire, he exuded a casual sophistication. He wore a fitted polo with fitted shorts that were borderline criminal. The polo was slightly unbuttoned, which allowed for a hint of chest hair along sun-kissed skin to peek through. Immediately your brain went to the gutter.

“Miss?”

You blinked. It was as if your brain broke and you had no idea as to how to respond. He raised a brow and inwardly you melted, feeling warmth bloom through you.

“Uh, sorry. The heat is just getting to me,” Nervous laughter accompanied your lame excuse.

“No worries, it happens to the best of us. I’m Rafael Barba.” He offered his hand and you took it. As you shook his hand, warmth bloomed through you.

He offered you a beer from a cooler and you happily accepted. And over beer, you find yourself enamored with every word from his lips. You suspected Rafael was involved with the church with how passionately he spoke about it. And when he invited you to attend the Adult Fellowship group after Sunday’s mass, you found yourself agreeing.

“...the fellowship hour following the Liturgy provides opportunities to develop friendships, meet parishioners or simply exchange information of mutual interest. There are monthly birthday celebrations and seasonal events, such as Christmas and Easter parties, as well as a spring picnic. We are always looking for more—”

Rafael’s cell rang and he apologized before excusing himself. You nodded and rocked on your heels, once again taking in the scene before you as you finished your beer.

This new neighborhood was already looking up.

—

As Rafael took the call, he couldn’t help but turn around to look at you once more. His eyes raked over your form, fully drinking you in. He swallowed hard, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He could feel a slight stirring in his pants, and furiously shook his head.

‘No,’ his brain argued. ‘No.’

He was not being turned on right now. Rafael tried to push the thought away and turned his attention back to the phone.

After the Householder case and resigning from the D.A.’s office, Rafael decided he needed to get away from it all. He spent the next three months holed up in his apartment, avoiding anyone and everyone.

Even if he didn’t want to - there was no one who would understand what he did. His mother was horrified and stopped talking to him. He received more than one gloating, sneering call from the recidivist he should have blocked — Alex Muños. Even Yelina spurned him.

He was truly alone.

So what was an acquitted, former ADA to do?

He prayed.

He had lapsed from religion. After working in the DA’s office and seeing all the especially heinous, depraved, evil out there - he was convinced there was no God.

He couldn’t explain why he did what he did - he did what he had to. Something called him to do it.

Was it God? Was it the Devil?

He wasn’t sure. So he prayed some more.

And then one night it came to him. The calling from God.

After a lengthy period of hemming and hawing, weighing the pros and cons, he contacted the local diocesan vocational director and began the requisite training. That training looked like pre-theology for 2 years followed by a tenure at a major seminary where he studied languages—some of which he already knew -Latin, Spanish, Greek. He also took graduate level studies in theology, including Doctrine, Canon Law, Church History, Scripture, and Liturgy.

He called St. Blaise’s home for three years. He found joy in community and spreading the Gospel. He gave to the community as much as he could possibly give. He thought it would be weird - that people would recognize him and call him a baby killer. And if they did - they never did it to his face. Rather, the community embraced him.

He was still busy as ever - mass was everyday, there were funerals, baptisms and weddings. He did outreach with the youth and began a fellowship for parishioners who were in a similar age cohort. Having saved quite a penny as an ADA, he lived off his savings. A priest’s salary was meager and he still had to pay taxes. So his salary sat in another account which went towards that.

The summer block party was an annual event, but very nubile - only in its third year. It’s where he felt he could give most back and the community could truly come together.

He hadn’t felt an attraction to any form of secular life in ages.

Until you just now.

He could use the excuse that he was a man after all. A man who used to be sexually active with both men and women alike. But before you, he was able to steer his thoughts away and put that energy into something else for the betterment of the church and community.

And then you came along, soaking yourself as you sprinted through a pump before going back for more.

His eyes traveled over you again. You were soaked, the material of your clothing sticking to you. Your tank top - now sheer - showing off your nipples which were diamond hard due to the combination of the cold water and air.

‘Fucking hell, get a grip.’

But he turned around to get yet another look, while yes’ing the person on the phone. His eyes trailed over the shorts you wore, perfectly molded to your ass and thighs. The rest of your legs were equally toned and for a split second, he could imagine them wrapped around his hips.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’

He wanted to talk to you more but this phone call ate up his time. Finally after what seemed like forever, he was free again. He decided at that moment, he needed to clear his head, so he sat back down and willed his cock to deflate. He closed his eyes and was about to cover his face with a hat when you interrupted him again.

“So what’s a lapsed Catholic to do if she wants to rejoin the church?”

Rafael lifted the hat off his face and sat fully. He cocked a brow. “Well, you can start by coming to mass tomorrow.”

“I suppose,” you sighed. “It’s been awhile.”

“How long is a while?” Rafael inquired gently. He gave you a kind smile. You looked away, embarrassed. Heat flooded your cheeks.

“Years,” you supplied.

Rafael nodded and then cocked his head. “Are you familiar with the parable about Jesus and the lost sheep?”

You nodded. “I’m the one that Jesus is looking for?”

Rafael nodded. “Maybe. But what about coming to mass first and checking it out before making any commitments?”

You nodded again. “I’ll think about it.”

“Hey stranger! Long time no see!” a familiar voice called out, interrupting the conversation.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to see Maria, now accompanied by her boyfriend.

“I thought you were going to the city,” you asked, chucking your beer in the garbage can next to you.

“Changed our minds. Plus Robbie’s sister is being a little bitch.”

That earned a ‘hey!’ from Robbie before he acquiesced. “Yeah, she is being a little bitch.”

You turned back around but Rafael was nowhere to be seen. You looked at the pamphlet once more before folding it and tucking it away for later.

“I cannot believe you spoke to Fr. Barba like that,” Maria continued.

“Wait - what? He’s a priest?”

Maria nodded. She then pointed to your still soaked appearance. “You can see your tits through your tanktop. Wrong day to not wear a bra. You look like you could win a wet-tshirt contest.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot in embarrassment as you looked down and realized Maria was in fact correct.

“Probably thanked God - that celibate life must be rough,” Robbie laughed. “He’s been a priest for how long? I can’t imagine not having sex.”

You weren’t listening though, too consumed in your embarrassment and attraction. Of course the hottest man on the planet is a fucking priest. ‘And of course I would basically flash him.’

Later that evening at home, you poured some kibble in a bowl for your cat and heated up a quick meal. As you waited for your food to finish, you rifled through your closet for something to wear to church. Your eyes landed on a sundress that you knew was probably much too short for church. You frowned and kept looking until you found the perfect outfit.

You told Maria that you were going to attend mass. You had already promised the hot priest you’d come to the fellowship group. If you didn’t show, then you would be a liar, and you couldn’t lie to a priest - right?

—

The following morning you found yourself at church with Maria.

“I want to sit up in the front,” you whined as the both of you shuffled into the pew.

“I’m too hungover to sit in the front,” Maria grumbled. “You think I can get away with leaving my sunglasses on?”

You rolled your eyes. “This is probably the one mass you can get away with that shit,” you replied before slapping your mouth with your palm. “I didn’t mean to curse, shit, oh no, God damnit!”

Maria laughed at your foul mouthed word salad. “You can confess to Fr. Barba after.”

The organ began to play and you stood. You motioned to Maria to stand and she ignored you, instead choosing to rest her head on the back of the bench of the pew in front of her. You watched as the altar servers carried in the items needed for mass - Cross, the processional candles, incense and Bible. Your eyes followed as Fr. Barba walked behind. He wore green vestments and you vaguely recalled that the color of the robes indicated where you were along in the church calendar.

Mass went as typically as you remembered. You sang from the hymnal, prayed along the congregation, and actually listened to the homily instead of daydreaming about being anywhere else. Fr. Barba was straightforward, discussing Jesus’ anger.

“Paul commands us in Ephesians 4:26, be angry and do not sin; don’t let the sun set on your anger. I’ve heard a lot of sermons on the “but do not sin” part: anger can give opportunity to the devil and birth all manner of hell in relationships. I’ve also heard a lot of sermons on the “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” But I haven’t heard any sermons on these two words: be angry.”

Fr. Barba paused before continuing. “Be angry. As we look upon a world of injustice and abuse, even in the church, we can learn how to be angry in love together. And we learn this the way Paul did: from Jesus. Jesus got angry. Regularly. And we see a pattern in his anger: whenever someone vulnerable or powerless suffered injustice at the hands of the strong and powerful, Jesus opposed this injustice with loving anger.”

The Liturgy of Word concluded and then transitioned into the Liturgy of the Eucharist. You watched intently as he performed prayers and rites in Latin that had existed for thousands of years.

It was time for Communion but you didn’t feel up to receiving. So instead, you just watched. As you scanned the church, your eyes locked with Rafael’s. He was watching you, a frown on his face. You felt your cheeks grow hot once more and you turned away out of embarrassment.

Mass concluded shortly after. The fellowship hour was immediately afterwards, held in the basement of the church. Maria had zero interest in attending so you parted ways before heading down. The smell of incense and something very “churchly” permeated in the air as you walked down the dimly lit stairs.

The basement was as expected, acoustic tile ceiling, fluorescent lights, that unique slight churchy smell, boxes of various items, beige metal folding chairs, long tables, pillars in the middle of the room holding up the sanctuary one floor up. There was a life-size nativity in the back, with a Joseph whose hand was broken and an unfortunate beheaded sheep statue. Someone was setting up a coffee maker and someone else was plating store-bought cupcakes.

You chit-chatted with some congregants, majority of whom you met at the block party.

As you made a cup of coffee, you were unaware of Fr. Barba entering the room. It was only when you heard his voice and the sound of people shuffling to sit. You turned, sipping your coffee as you did so. No, Fr. Barba was no longer in those ceremonial robes that hid away everything. Instead, he wore fitted dark denim with a black shirt and his collar.

Your eyes tracked him as you continued to speak with others. You made sure to glance back to the folks you were speaking with - implying you were listening when you really weren’t. You watched as he moved easily through the room, greeting people, making jokes. What a waste of good looks.

People began to slowly sit, the chatting quietly winding down. Eventually, you took a seat. Everyone sat in a circle and you felt as if you were in an AA meeting.

“Welcome,” Fr. Barba began. “Thank you all for taking the time to come today.” He turned his gaze to you and stretched his arm in your direction. “We have a newcomer.” He gave you a small smile, his eyes crinkling in the corner.

You gave a small smile and waved, before introducing yourself.

There was a more in depth discussion of the readings from the mass. You hung onto every word Rafael said. Fr. Barba, Fr. Barba, Fr. Barba you chanted in your mind as if you were trying to ensure that stayed in your mind.

He’s a priest you told yourself. He’s Father - not Daddy.

—

You became a regular at church and also at the afternoon fellowship. You were usually quiet, opting to listen more so than anything. Today was different.

Fr. Barba asked the group to share their most favorite parts of scripture; he had anticipated the majority of responses - Genesis, one of the Gospels, Proverbs. Your comment made his stomach flip.

“I personally enjoy Song of Songs,” you offered. “It celebrates sexual love.”

“Jewish tradition reads it as an allegory of the relationship between God and Israel,” Fr. Barba offered.

“In Christianity, it is read as an allegory of Christand his bride, the Church,” you countered.

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me,” Fr. Barba responded.

You flushed. “His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. It is an unabashedly sensuous, even at times quite erotic, paean to love,” you continued as you leafed through the Bible you held.

“No matter what interpretation you choose to believe, the book is a powerful and profound reminder of the beauty and depth of God’s love for us. It is a beautiful book that has been celebrated for centuries and one that can still bring joy and comfort to believers today.”

There was a pause and then Rafael clapped his hands. “I think that’s enough to stop for now. Thank you all for coming. I’ll see you all next week.”

You hung back, helping to clean up. Slowly the group dissipated, leaving you and Fr. Barba alone.

“You’re still here.” Fr. Barba’s voice was thick and dark. You shivered in response.

“I really enjoyed myself today,” you replied softly as you approached him. You closed the gap between you and him. You could press your hands to his chest if you wanted to.

Oh how you wanted to.

Your nipples strained against the confines of your top. You wanted to drop to your knees and show your worth - take another type of communion.

‘Behave,’ you told yourself.

“Did you now?”

His expressive, bright green eyes are now dark and stormy. His jaw is tight. You swallow hard.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I won’t have it,” he continues. His voice is clipped and you shivered in response.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m not playing at anything Father. I’ll see you next week.”

Rafael didn’t reply. He watched as you turned about and walked away with a deliberate sway of your hips. His eyes were focused on your ass. All he wanted to do in that moment was to haul you over a pew and spank your ass for your insolence. His cock ached and twitched in his pants.

You turned back towards him, a full smile gracing your face. “I’m really looking forward to being a member of this congregation.”

Once you were gone, Rafael sat down on a folded chair dismayed.

He was so screwed.

God almighty help him.

—

It was a delicate dance. There was a part of you that enjoyed toeing the line with Fr. Barba. And part of you felt a smidge guilty. But fuck, he was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him.

As Fr. Barba. Well, you weren’t alone in the desperate want and lust you were feeling.

He played with you in his fantasies. He knew what he was getting into when he became a priest. He swore to God to not know another’s body. It was the least he could do considering he killed baby Drew.

He wasn’t supposed to have these kind of thoughts.

It had been so long and he was under your spell.

After the group meeting, he had to hustle back to his home - a small home attached to the rectory. He made quick work of removing his clothes. He hissed as grasped his aching cock. Stroke, stroke, stroke.

Self pleasure was also a no-no.

Masturbation involved lust. It’s to use another person for your own selfish pleasure. The person becomes an object and it denigrates their dignity as a human being.

When he was around you, he wanted to throw everything into the wind. The image of your soaked tits haunted him. He threw his head back as he continued to jerk himself. Desire. You made him fucking feral.

He imagined kissing you after the meeting the second you and him were alone.

His lips crushed against yours. He pressed your back against the wall, his knee parting your legs.

One hand tangled in your hair, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot of your skin.

It was as if you released a part of him that he had kept tucked away for so long.

He stripped away your top, before mouthing your tits before dropping to his knees. Your hand moved through his hair.

“Taste me,” you’d beg. You’d beg so nicely and who was he to deny his lamb?

He imagined grabbing your ass, pulling your dripping pussy to his mouth. You would drape a leg over his shoulder, grounding yourself hard against his mouth.

“Fuck, right there. Just like that.”

He would put his thumb on your clit, rubbing circles as he pushed his tongue inside, tasting, licking, and sucking.

“You like that?”

“Yes,” you’d moan. “Don’t stop. Oh God, I am going to come. Please, fuck me.”

He would undo his belt and drop his pants, grasping his cock in his hand. He’d rub the head of his cock along your folds, teasing you until neither one of you could stand it before burying himself deep inside of you.

“I want everything you’ve got. I want to feel it all.”

“Is that what my little lamb wants? To be fucked hard like a whore?”

“Yes,” you’d beg. “Please.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”

“Come for me little lamb,” he’d encourage. You’d fall apart at his words. He could imagine how your wet, soft, pussy would suck his cock in, deeper and deeper. He would imagine thrusting deep and hard, his cock dragging against your sweet spot. He’d come hard, deep inside of you, his come painting your walls.

In reality he grunted and groaned as his cock kicked. He came all over his hand and belly. He panted, waiting for his breath to even out.

‘Shit.’

—

It was a gloomy Tuesday morning as Rafael worked in his office. Homilies were a lot like closing arguments. Instead of trying to sway the jury, he had to connect with his congregants. Instead of evidence, it was the gospel.

He was distracted. His mind kept wandering to you. Were you some kind of a test for him?

You were under his skin. An itch that couldn’t be scratched. Or stroked. You had consumed his thoughts.

He tore the yellow sheet off the pad before crumpling it.

Rafael tried very hard to live a holy life, especially as he had known what life was like, could be like, outside of the church.

And until now, through God’s grace, he had done very well.

He looked at the time. Confession was to start soon. Confession wasn’t popular. Usually before the bigger high holidays, people would come in droves. But a regular, run of the mill Tuesday? Not a chance.

He had his regulars though, who would come without fail. They were long standing members of the community. Being bilingual was a big boost for the church.

Rafael put on his collar, and changed into dark slacks from jeans and then headed out.

—-

You peeked into the booth. Seeing that it was empty, you made your way in and sat down.

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been… um, years since my last confession.”

Rafael was stunned. It was you.

‘Focus.’

You began with some menial, ordinary sins. Rafael focused on what you were saying, ignoring the throb of his cock.

“And, of course, this… all leads to the most wicked one.”

Rafael swallowed hard. “Go on.”

“I’ve been thinking about you.”

“Me?” Rafael questioned. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’ “What do you mean?”

“You’re so kind and thoughtful. I probably shouldn’t say this because it’s so inappropriate, but you’re so fucking handsome. And it’s resulted in some wicked behavior.”

“Wicked how?” His hands ball into fists before he grabs the tops of his thighs hard, trying to steel his thoughts.

“I— I’m sorry. I need to go.” You’re stammering over your words, your heart racing.

Rafael heard the panic in your voice and he frowned. The confessional creaked as you stood. Rafael was filled with an overwhelming need to get you to stay. “We all sin. Including myself. God made us imperfect and can he really get to be disappointed in us when we do imperfect things?”

“I— I’ve never felt the way I do about you with anyone else. And I am filled with despair about wanting what I can’t have,” you reply softly. “What can I do about this? Can I say 10 Hail Mary’s or something?”

You continue. “And can I be absolved if I don’t feel bad about what I’ve done or said in the past? They’re all things I wanted to do.”

Rafael wracked his mind on what to say.

And before he could, he heard you open the door and leave. He stood quickly and pushed open the curtain. But it was too late. You were already gone.

—

Sunday mass came like clockwork.

As Rafael led mass, he scanned the pews for you. He was disappointed when he didn’t see you. He saw your friend and he made a mental note to talk with her afterwards.

“Fr. Barba, great service,” Maria commented as she shook Fr. Barba’s hand.

“Thank you. I- I am glad you came. You had been coming with your friend—“

“Oh! You mean — yeah, she couldn’t come today. She had some stuff to take care of. She’s new to the area and I know she could really use the community support,” Maria replied. She looked past Rafael and smiled brightly. “Oh there she is!”

Maria called your name. Rafael turned around and he saw you across the street. You were dressed more conservatively and he felt a wave of disappointment.

You half jogged across the street and before Rafael knew it, you had materialized in front of him.

“Hi,” you greeted as you tucked your hair behind your ear. “Sorry to have missed mass.”

“It’s okay,” Rafael laughed. “It’s not like God is keeping tabs.”

You smiled. Maria turned to you. “Was just telling Fr. Barba how you could use some community.”

“Uh,” you blanched. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, help is always needed at the community center or food pantry,” Rafael offered. “Meet plenty of people that way.”

“Yeah, sure. I - I saw in the bulletin you were looking for someone to go over your books.”

Rafael shifted. “Um, I was looking more for a CPA—“

“Well you are in luck!” Maria hit your arm. “You’ve got your own CPA here.”

“I-I am not a CPA. I was treasurer of my sorority years ago,” you explained. “But I lost my job and I need money,” you shrugged. “That’s all.”

Rafael sighed and rubbed his neck. As much as Olivia was a bleeding heart, he was too, especially with his roots. “Um, stop by the rectory sometime next week and we can talk it through.”

You smiled brightly. “Oh that would be great! Really! Thank you.”

Rafael nodded. You turned to Maria. “We have to go. Reservations?”

Other congregants had started to line up to speak with Rafael. He turned towards the line, but not without glancing back, watching you walk away.

Rafael admired you from behind, appreciating how your jeans hugged you in all of the right places. A flash of heat coursed through him.

‘God damnit, what are you doing?’

—

You never came by. Or to mass. Rafael thought you might have had a change of heart. Perhaps your flirtation with religion had flamed out. He found himself longing to see you but also increasingly frustrated with himself. He busied himself as much as possible so that he couldn’t even think of you. You were the absolute last thing on his mind.

When you rapped on his door two and a half weeks later, Rafael was more than surprised. He was downright startled, like a horse with thunder. He had been knee deep in the church’s financial books.

“I’m sorry, I hope I am not intruding. I know it’s late.”

Rafael relaxed. “No, not at all. Please, come in, sit.”

You slunk in the chair with ease and eyed Rafael’s outfit. “You don’t look like a priest.”

Rafael arched a thick brow. “And what do I look like?”

“Like a regular guy. Someone I would meet at a bar,” you shrugged as you waved your arm as if to make a point. Rafael was wearing dark jeans with a button down, sleeves rolled up and brown brogues.

Rafael laughed. “Well, there was a point in my life where you would have found me there. Speaking of bars, would you care for a drink?”

“I thought priests could only drink church wine.”

Rafael laughed again. “No, no, we can drink more than church wine.” You heard the clatter of glass and the sound of liquid pouring. “Here,” Rafael turned to you, his arm outstretched, holding a lowball glass with amber liquid. “Macallan 18.”

You took it from him and swirled the liquid before sniffing. You closed your eyes as you took a sip. You hummed, pleased. “This is good. Dangerously good.” You took another sip. “Oh this goes down way too easy.”

‘I bet my cock will go down easy.’

Rafael coughed and shook his head. “Uh, yeah, it does.” He took a large swallow of his glass and then poured himself another glass.

“You’re wondering why I’m here now. Instead of two weeks ago.”

Rafael perched himself on the corner of his desk. “I am.”

“I wish I had a reason that made sense, but I don’t. The truth is…” you glanced around the office and it became very apparent that the room was decorated more like a legal office than what you assumed an office in a church would be like.

“The truth is?” Rafael prodded.

You stood and started walking around the room. Your hand trailed the spines of the stacks of books lined up. It was then when you spotted the law degree in the corner.

“Wait - you are a lawyer? And a priest? How does that work?”

“Was,” Rafael clarified, before taking a long sip of his drink. “Was a lawyer.”

“You don’t practice anymore?”

“No,” Rafael shook his head. “Not anymore.”

You walked up to the bar cart and poured yourself another drink. You took the chair and pulled it until you were sitting directly in front of Rafael. “Tell me.”

Hours passed. Rafael unloaded everything on you - his time at SVU, baby Drew, the why to choose a life of faith.

And that bottle of Macallan?

You stood very close to Rafael. Your hands pressed on his chest. You swayed slightly and Rafael placed his hands on your hips, steadying you.

“Hire me. I’m really good with numbers.”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed. “We aren’t going to have sex.”

You scoffed, before almost losing your footing. Rafael’s hands gripped your hips tightly. “Who said anything about us having sex?”

“Do you think I don’t realize what game you’re playing?”

“Game? I’m not playing a game. I need a job.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

You rolled your eyes. “I am not. Besides, do you even know how?”

Rafael pushed you away slightly. “Did you not just hear the story of my life?”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Father.”

“The how?”

You walked back and closed the gap between you and him. “Yeah. The how. To fuck.”

Rafael’s eyes darken. He cupped your face and you leaned into his palm. He slowly walked around and behind you. He dropped his mouth to your ear. “I know how to fuck. I’ve fucked plenty. Men. Women. I know how to make someone come.”

A rumble emanated from Rafael’s chest. You spun on your heels and looked up at him. Rafael loomed over you, your eyes growing wide. Your breath hitched. “Is that so?”

Your faces were inches apart. You were breathing each other's air, growing dizzy over the shared breath. Your heart was thumping and you were so needy in that moment you thought you were going to burst.

“Little lamb, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

You let out a whine. “Please.”

Rafael lifted your chin with his finger. Your eyes searched his before settling on his lips. His beautiful pink lips that you knew they knew how to kiss. And lick. And fuck. And make someone come.

“You’re a good priest Father Barba,” you whispered. “But you’re also a good man. And doesn’t a good man deserve a little indulgence every now and then?”

The tension in the room was thick, the air electric. You almost felt moved to tears in the desperate way you wanted him. And he wanted you.

The sound of sirens blaring broke the spell. You both jumped apart. You both stared at each other. Rafael couldn’t help but notice that you were flushed, and that flush was making its way down. You worried your bottom lip.

“It’s late,” you rushed. “I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time.”

You spun on your heels and was about to dash out the door when Rafael gripped your wrist, pausing you in the middle of the door.

You looked back up at him with wide eyes.

“You start Monday,” Rafael gruffed. You nodded, unable to say anything.

You managed to squeak out an ‘okay.’ And before you realized it, the door was shut in your face.

—

Your first week was completely uneventful. As is the next. And the week after. You’re the epitome of well behaved and professional much to Rafael’s relief.

That still didn’t mean he didn’t imagine kissing you and then some. Or how when you leaned over his desk, he didn’t imagine lifting up your skirt and plowing into you. Or that when you chewed on your pen cap, he didn’t imagine his cock between your plump, soft lips.

Under the collar, he still was very much a man.

And you didn’t let him forget it. He lost track of the amount of times he had to get himself off. And still it didn’t nothing to quell the ache for you.

You threw yourself into the work and you actually found it quite fulfilling. You made plenty of friends and found yourself volunteering in other parts of the church - like working at the food pantry or singing as part of the church choir.

Summer ebbed into Fall. The air grew cooler. The days started to grow shorter and the leaves, once a vibrant green, were now tinged with yellow and orange, painting the city in a fiery palette.

You were working in the rectory that morning. When Myra, the arthritic receptionist, ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, you eagerly took over the job. You were busy enough with church duties as it was but it made sense for you to take over.

Utilizing your skills from past work experience, you ended up bringing St. Blaise into the 21st century thanks to Intuit and Microsoft.

Since you started, the more Rafael was able to get to know you. In turn, the more he wanted you. He did everything in his power to not even look at you for too long, at least when you were not not looking. It was hard - but Rafael was a glutton for punishment. Being around you made Rafael addicted.

It did seem as if you heeded his words - you were the utmost professional. You did such a good job that Rafael wondered if maybe he had misread the signals altogether and that one night was just the booze.

Then one particular evening, Rafael saw you walking with Maria, her boyfriend, and another gentleman. He didn’t want to stop and say hi - if anything he wanted to avoid it altogether and cross the street but you and him made eye contact. It would have been too awkward to avoid you by that point. It ended with the five of you at the local watering hole - where this gentleman who had his arm wrapped around you. Rafael didn’t enjoy how jealousy washed over him - he knew he did not have any right to you, or your body. And he would never be - you were never together like that.

You were waiting at the bar, ordering another round when Rafael joined you. You looked over at him and gave a small smile.

“So you’re on date then?”

You looked at him incredulously. “Rafael—“

“You live here, you can go on any dates and with whom.”

“He’s just— you and I— we never…

The bartender arrived with your drinks. You went to pay, but Rafael stopped you. “I got it.”

“Don’t you have to take a vow of poverty?” you asked as you grabbed some of the drinks. Rafael grabbed the remainder and the two of you walked back to the booth.

“One of the most common misconceptions about the Catholic priesthood is that all priests take a vow of poverty. In fact, most do not. Diocesan priests do not even make vows, they make “promises” of obedience to their bishop: chastity and to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. Vows, on the other hand, are typically made by members of religious orders, such as Franciscans, Benedictines, Dominicans, etc.”

You nodded. “Got it.”

You walked ahead of Rafael, a sway in your hips as you did so. Rafael’s eyes narrowed and he sucked in a breath as he followed, exhaling slowly.

When your date - Eric - as he later learned - began mouthing off about theology and religion, Rafael rolled his eyes. Still, he wasn’t going to let himself get bested and using the skills he acquired from all the cross examinations he had ever done, basically annihilated the other guy. You snickered behind the glass of your drink but Rafael saw it and felt his chest puff.

At one point - Eric whispered something in your ear. Whatever he said was enough to make you blush and shift in your seat, smiling to yourself like you had a secret. Rafael didn’t miss it at all and he felt himself stiffen and his jaw tighten. Your eyes met once more, and you witnessed the visceral reaction he was having, saw that little flex of his jaw and the way his eyes glittered with something primal and possessive. You could see that part of him would gladly punch Eric, and even as Rafael’s eyes locked with yours, he didn't hide it. Briefly, the kind and generous priest was all gone. Even the smart and sassy lawyer was superseded: you saw the man, capable of lust and jealousy. Over you. The thought of inspiring those feelings in him made heat pool in your body, and you squeezed your thighs together. His eyes registered your expression: you were certain he knew how you felt.

By end of the night, you went to hug him good night but Rafael dodged you. You frowned and bid him adieu as he dipped his head in acknowledgement. Rafael continued to head home - and had he turned around, he would have seen you still standing, watching him.

Another week went by.

The pounding on the door stirred Rafael awake. He looked over at the clock - it was a little after midnight. A breeze blew through, causing a chill to run through his body.

He tugged a t-shirt on and groused that he was on his way.

Rafael was not expecting to see you.

“Father,” you greeted. There was a very large bottle of Macallan in your hand. Your eyes trailed over the very sleepy priest in front of you. His hair was askew and he looked adorable. You swallowed at his tight white shirt and low slung gray sweats.

“What is going on?” Rafael asked. He reached in his pocket for his glasses.

“Fancy a chat about my existential crisis?” You thrusted the bottle of scotch into his arms and walked in, pushing slightly past him.

Rafael got a whiff of your shampoo and it sent all blood straight immediately to his cock. He looks back outside and satisfied not seeing anyone else, closes the door behind him. “Existential crisis?”

“Do you have any glasses?” You ask, ignoring his question, as you look around. You hadn’t ever been inside a priest’s dwelling and you were surprised at how normal it appeared.

“Wow.” You stopped misstep and looked around. “This is not what I expected.”

Rafael rubbed his neck. “Huh? Oh, what did you expect it to look like?”

“I don’t know. More holy? Crosses everywhere. Stacks of bibles? Not something out of an architectural digest - with a kitchen island!”

Rafael laughed. He took the bottle from your hand and walked over to the island where he placed the glasses. “A lot of this is from…” he waved his arm around. “Before.”

“Pre-priest Rafael.” You clarified as you walked over to where he was and took an amber filled glass.

“Yeah,” Rafael replied before taking a long drag of his drink.

You nodded and hummed before taking another sip. “When you were just a man. Who had sex. A lot.”

“I’m still a man.”

“Come on, you know it’s not the same.”

You knew better. You knew you shouldn’t.

What would your friends say, what would they do if they ever find out? What about the congregation and surrounding community?

This was bigger than you, bigger than him. What were you thinking?

But it’s Rafael. Fr. Rafael Barba. Not that it matters - he’s not actually yours. He belongs to God.

But now when he’s staring down at you the way he is right now, teeth catching his full bottom lip, sleep-tousled hair and stormy, smoldering eyes, you can’t help but fall from grace.

“Kiss me.”

“You know we can’t.”

“So? Kiss me anyway.”

“I’m a priest.”

“Kiss me anyway.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

Rafael swallowed the remainder of his drink and let out a huff. He pointed a finger toward you. “You…you’re trouble.”

You closed the gap between you and him. The room felt electric. You pressed your hands onto his chest. “So? Kiss me anyway.”

Rafael sucked in a breath. You press yourself even closer, your hips automatically seeking his. Rafael pushed you away gently. “I told you we can’t. I told you I can’t.”

“Why are you denying what’s between us?” Your hands shook as you poured yourself another glass. You turned and leaned against the island. “God made us to be sexual creatures. It’s his design. It’s his idea, his gift to us.”

Rafael sighed in irritation. “Our sexual desires are no surprise to God. He made us, and He gave us a strong sexual desire to enjoy within the proper context.” He pointed to you and then to himself. “This is not the proper context. If I wasn’t a priest, then it would be different. This is real life. What we do has real consequences.”

“If you weren’t a priest,” you murmured. You swallowed the remainder of your drink and slammed it on the island. Warmth flooded your body and you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or him or a combination of both. Likely the latter. “Tell me you want me. Tell me I was never imagining things.”

Rafael remained silent.

“You have the right to lose control. I know you think—”

“You don’t know what I think,” Rafael acerbically spat. “And no, I don’t have the right.” He began to pace. “You don’t know the misery I live in when you’re not around.”

“And you think I am not?” you questioned. Your voice wavered and your eyes welled with unshed tears. “It’s never been like this with anyone. Never. I want you. I can’t have you. But please - let me live in the solace that you want me too. That I was never imagining any of it. I am going crazy.”

Rafael paused mid-stride and looked at you. He took a deep breath.

“What’s it gonna be? I am begging you.”

It was like something in him snapped when you said that. Rafael slammed his own drink before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He walked over and pressed you against the island. You let out a squeak in response. You could feel how hard he was against your belly. He brushed some of your hair back. Your breath hitched and a flush spread along your skin.

“Say it again.”

“Tell me you want me.”

“No - repeat what you said at the end,” he all but growled. You chewed your bottom lip and nodded.

“I beg you.”

“God help me. You beg so prettily,” Rafael murmured. He pulled at you, hands grabbing at hips, lips crashing into yours in a bruising kiss. It was over before you could register and you pulled back to look into his eyes. You wrapped your hands on his face and then dove back in, returning the kiss, equally as hard.

The momentum was desperate, frenzied, hands everywhere. You let out a gasp as Rafael backed you against the kitchen island. The scruff of his beard dragged against your skin, his lips working your jaw, your ear, moving down your neck, and you let out a strained moan. You pressed your hips upwards into his, feeling his erection. Rafael had to stop and inhale sharply before resuming his attack on your skin. The tips of his fingers find skin under your shirt, and dig into your flesh. One of your hands is twisted in his shirt, the other grasping the waistband of his sweats as he felt a leg curve around his; it was as if your body functioned in tune to keep him as close as possible.

Rafael’s lips found purchase on the hollow of your neck. You let out a groan as you sagged against him, melting into his embrace. The want was overwhelming.

His hands made way to the front of your jeans and he nimbly undid the button and fly before shoving his large hand down your panties. “So wet for me.”

And you are. You’re so fucking wet, it’s obscene.

The tips of his fingers drag through your slit.

“Fuck,” his teeth scraped along your jaw. “You’re soaking.”

He slid two fingers deep inside of you. You keened wordlessly into his shoulder, biting down on his shoulder to suppress a moan.

“No, no, pretty lamb. Look at me,” Rafael husked, his voice laced with an edge of dominance.

You pulled back and met his gaze. His fingers drove deep up into you, pumping, long and needy. His thumb rubbed against your clit. Your blood is boiling, your body vibrating. You’re close. You know it. He knows it. His fingers continue their momentum, finding that spongey spot inside of you that most folks couldn’t ever find.

The walls of your pussy ripple against his fingers. “Be a good little lamb and come for me.” It was Rafael’s turn to beg. “Be my good girl and give it to me.”

You chanted his name as if it were prayer as you come around his fingers. Your body is abuzz, vibrating. You whine out his name in three syllables as you coat his hand with your arousal. Rafael swallowed your cries as he covered your mouth with his. The kiss, which was initially passionate, slowed in intensity, to just soft, slow licks that almost felt reverent, worshipful. Eventually he pressed his forehead to yours and you both drank in each other’s air, breathing heavily. You whimpered as Rafael removed his fingers from your cunt. You watched him with wide eyes as he slipped his fingers into his mouth. His eyes fluttered close as he let out an appreciative sound.

“Do I taste good, Father?” Your voice was laced with lust.

“My sweet, decadent little lamb,” Rafael complimented. “But we cannot do that again.”

“Do what?” You asked as you pushed him off slightly to give yourself room to drop to the floor. You palmed his cock through his pants, pleased with yourself as he groaned with want and need.

A car backfired and the sound caused you both to startle, effectively ending the spell. Rafael helped you up from the ground. “This cannot happen again.” His voice was firm. And before you could protest any more, you found yourself back outside, the door shutting in your face.

Rafael leaned against the door, his head pounding, his cock aching.

‘You idiot! You shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have given in to your melodic voice and sparkling eyes. You had no business being in his life.

But the crack he left open for you made him believe that he had more to lose now than when he met you at the block party all those moons ago.

He rubbed his face, tired and frustrated. And he went back to bed to once again to take matters in his own hands again. ‘Fuck.’

TBC.

[ryebecca]

── It's my birthday! So let's celebrate. 🥳

My birthday is this Saturday (8/3) and I'd like to come out of moodboard retirement for a bit and make some boards! Requests will be open through Saturday, 8/3 and I'll post them as I get to them!

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

This party has two rules and two rules only!

Requests are open to followers only!

One request / moodboard per person, please!

✨ Send me a character + a vibe or a few AUs for me to choose from (within reason! I reserve the right to do as I see fit because as a wise person once said "it's my party and I'll cry do what I want to") and I'll whip up a board!

You can choose from the following fandoms/characters:

Star Wars (OT characters - Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia; Sequel Trilogy characters: Poe Dameron, Finn, Rey)

Top Gun: Maverick (Bob Floyd, Jake Seresin, Natasha Trace, Bradley Bradshaw, Mickey Garcia, Javy Machado, Reuben Fitch, Beau Simpson)

Outer Range (Rhett Abbott)

Twisters (Tyler Owens, Scott)

Bridgerton (Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton)

Law & Order: SVU (Rafael Barba, Sonny Carisi, Terry Bruno)

Masters of the Air (John Egan, Gale Cleven, Harry Crosby, Robert Rosenthal)

Jane Austen...anything, really. 😂 Same goes for Shakespeare. Hell, Regency!AU is always an option for any of these!

That being said, enjoy! ✨

COMPLETED BOARDS (under the cut!)

Dadley Dadshaw (for @notroosterbradshaw)

60s/70s Rooster (for @roosterforme)

Scott (Twisters) @ MIT (for @hederasgarden)

Wedding Date Ryan (Yellowstone) (for @writercole)

Tyler vs. Rhett (for @a-reader-and-a-writer)

Picnic Time with Bobby (for @attapullman)

Camping with Tyler (for @imjess-themess)

1950s Bob (for @auroralightsthesky)

Modern Emma x Knightley (for @lafaerie)

Regency!Jake (for @desert-fern)

Bodyguard!Nat (for @startrekfangirl2233)

MotA / WWII Bobby (for @lenafromthenordiccoven)

Beach Bobby (for @wildbornsiren)

Fluffy Jake (for @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff)

Werewolf!Mickey (for @briseisgone)

Dagger Olympics (for @thiswaytoinfinity)

Road Trip with Scott (Twisters) (for @theharddeck)

Coffee Shop Bradley (for @oh-great-authoress)

Fake Dating Bruno (SVU) (for @rhettabbotts)

Benedict's Wedding Day (for @sorchathered)

Honeymoon Jake (for @bradshawbaby)

Post-War Buck (MoTA) (for @luminousnotmatter)

Teacher!Bobby (for @bradshawsbaby)

Feral Anthony (for @sometimesanalice)

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Taste of Revenge - Master List

Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, mentions of non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, descriptions of drowning, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), spoilers for Hannibal, references to Leverage, past Frederick Chilton/Rafael Barba, NSFW moments and angst.

NSFW warnings: filthy thoughts, rough sex, consensual smut, threesome, m/m, m/f, dom/sub, use of pet names (good boy and good girl), dirty talk, possessiveness, a hint of angst, Frederick has a voyeurism kink, fingering, handjobs, finger licking and sucking, oral (male and female receiving), unprotected penis in vagina sex and mentions of injury.

A/N: This is the sequel to The Sounds of Justice. I recommend reading that fic before reading this one as this sequel references a lot of events from the previous fic. You can catch up with that fic by clicking on the link here. Please take notice of and heed the warnings; they are there for a reason and they will be at the top of each chapter. Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

What if? A Jim Sterling AU

[cissyenthusiast010155]

My Guardian Angel ~Broken!Rita Calhoun xFem Younger!Investigator!Reader (Liz Donnelly x Alex Cabot) feat. Rafael Barba & Olivia Benson

Summary— AU where Rita has an abusive husband, and one night, after he storms out, Rita calls Reader. Reader brings Rita to the person who helped her with her own haunted past, Elizabeth Donnelly. Alex, Barba, and Liv makes appearances. What does the night have in store for Rita and Reader…?

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: angst, a little fluff, dead dove: do not eat, implied abuse, implied sexual assault, implied abusive husband, comforting, crying, alcohol consumption, anxiety attacks, a little self destructive behavior, mentions to prostitution, SVU things, Elizabeth Donnelly, Alex Cabot, Rafael Barba, Olivia Benson, Liz and Alex are a bit of a power couple, gray ending, etc.

Enjoy (;

You didn’t know Rita Calhoun well. At least not originally. From the moment you did meet, you both couldn’t deny the connection between the two of you. You had always lived in coinciding worlds, she was a New York defense attorney, and you were an investigator for 1PP, occasionally lended out to SVU.

Originally, she was the lawyer whom you had hired for your idiot of a brother when he had been caught and charged with soliciting a prostitute. You had met with the high class woman on a couple of occasions, to discuss your brothers bail, probation, trial, payment, and anything else pertaining to his case.

You saw yourself intrigued by her elegant manner, high end fashion, and confidence. Soon you saw yourself get hooked to the tiny smiles and chuckles you managed to pull from her when in private. You found yourself fighting to make the woman laugh as much as you could, her laugh always seemed to make your day. And during the trial, your eyes were on her the entire time. You lived off those days outfits that Rita would strut into court in.

So when you checked your phone late Friday night, the last thing you expected to see what a very many handfuls of missed calls from Rita Calhoun. You saw that she had left a voicemail in the last call, so you pressed play.

“Heyyyy Y/N… S-sorry to be bothering you so I know it’s^^late… I… I just… I don’t know what to do, call me back k bye”

It was Rita alright, but something was very wrong. She had been stammering and hiccuping throughout the entire voicemail, and had broken into sobs by the end. She sounded like she’d been crying and drinking for far too long… Her sounds triggered memories of your own life, memories that you had gone to great lengths to bury.

You immediately called the woman back. The dial rang for a couple tones, then it shut off. You hit call again. The second time, she picked up. You heard a sniffle and then a choke sob.

“H-hey…” she practically whispered.

“Rita, Hi, is everything alright?”

“I…” She stammered, before the call went silent.

“Rita?” You asked, your concern growing.

“N-no” She whispered, then letting out another choked sob.

You took a deep breath and your instincts kicked in once more. You got Rita to give you her address and told her that you would be over as soon as possible. That night you broke the made the most traffic violations in your entire life.

You entered the house, the front door having been unlocked which was mildly concerning to you. You walked through the lavish, lofty apartment, until you found Rita curled up facing away from you in the living room on the floor with a full bottle of wine in her hand. Your heart sank and a lump came into your throat. You hated how normal and used to this sight you were. Because not too long ago, this had been you…

You dropped to the floor, immediately going to comfort the woman. You carefully removed the alcohol, setting it aside. Rita let out a choke sob, immediately curling up into your lap. As she turned to face you, you saw the massive black eye that she had. Your eyes scanned her entire body, finding more red, raw skin marks along her arms and some blue bruising on her neck. Your heart nearly broke as Rita sobbed into your lap.

“I—im s-sorry… I didn’t-didn’t know who t-to call…! It’s it’s stupid, nothing really—” Rita choked out, muffled as she cried into your chest.

You knew this behavior. You knew it all too well.

“Hey hey, it’s okay. I’m here Rita… It’s all going to be okay. Can I touch you, honey…? Would that be alright…?” You very gently asked the woman, coming a little closer to her, trying to show that you were no threat.

Rita nodded as her cries were muffled by her face being in the crook of your neck. She clung onto you like her life depended on it.

“Ok, good… you are doing so good for me, Rita. Take some deep breaths for me? Can you try to do that?” You comforted the woman, bringing your hands around to hold the woman in your lap.

You could hear Rita trying to take some deep breaths as she nodded, although her hiccups made it more difficult.

“Good, very good, Rita.” You praised, then bringing your hands to cup the woman’s cheeks and direct her scattered gaze to you.

“Now Rita this is important… I need you to come back to me and think, okay?”

A slow nod.

“Is he going to come back anytime soon…?” You softly asked.

Rita’s eyes widened and she began to panic at your question. Your hold on the woman only tightened and you insisted on her answer.

“I know you don’t want to think about it, but I need to know if you’re safe staying here Rita.” You explained firmly yet lovingly.

Rita took some more deep breaths before stammering,

“I… he he’s gone out… drinking…” she gulped, “Be back late…”

Her eyes were red and glossy, and they only panicked more at the idea of her husband returning. You rubbed her back and caressed her check in comfort.

“Ok. We need to get you to a hospital, Rita…” you gently said, knowing the possible outlast that your words might cause.

Rita practically jumped out of your lap and was quick to stand up and start pacing in the living room. Her fingers were red and raw and fidgeting. Her gaze scattered everywhere. You slowly stood up and tried to corner the woman into your embrace.

“No no no hospitals… hospitals means cops and that means court and no no—” Rita rambled, her thoughts spiraling more and more.

You grabbed the woman’s hands, clasping them in your own to ground the woman. Her sobbing gaze finally met yours once more.

“Okay. That’s okay. Rita, listen to me, is there anywhere you can go to stay for the time being…?” You softly asked.

Rita’s lip began to tremble and her knees buckled, her body falling into yours. Luckily, you managed to gently catch and carry the weight of the woman while she regained partial strength.

“N-not RAF—Rafael… he can’t know, no no no one…” Rita choked out in gasps.

When she wasn’t able to come up with any other options, your mind went to the person who had helped you.

“Okay okay, that’s okay, Rita. How about Elizabeth? You know Judge Donnelly? She’s a close friend and I know she can help…” you spoke with understanding and reassurance.

Rita looked up to you from collapsing in your arms and nodded slowly. But her eyes told you that she had sunken too far into her thoughts, that you would have to start making the decisions in her best interest until she came back to you.

You gently placed Rita back on the couch, quickly going to the kitchen to grab her a water, while you then ran around the place, trying to pack her a weekend back. After about 15 minutes, you had the bag in hand and you were leading the woman out of the house and into a cab. The entire cab ride, Rita was snuffling and silently sobbing in your shoulder.

Once you reached Liz’s brownstone, you violently knocked on the door, Rita protected being you and holding your hand. The door flew open but it wasn’t Liz, it was a blonde. Your eyes went wide and you gulped, suddenly regretting not having double checked with Liz beforehand.

“You’re Y/N, right…? I’m Alex.” The tall blonde spoke slowly yet confidently.

“Yes, um is Liz home?” You said, quickly getting to the point while trying to hide Rita behind you to the best of your ability.

But Liz had told you about Alex, she was sharp, didn’t miss a thing.

“Yea, she’s in the kitchen… Is that Calhoun…?” Alex hummed, leaning against the doorway.

You took a deep breath and brought Rita to stand next to you. Alex’s jaw dropped and she took a step back in shock.

“I just… we needed a safe place to go for the night and Liz always said her door was always open and I’m sorry if we intruded, I just can’t handle this, I mean I know Liz can handle it, and so I thought—” you rambled.

Before you could say another word, the blonde was pulling you and Rita into the brownstone, closing the door behind her and marching straight up to Liz in the kitchen.

“Is that our take-out, bunny…?” Liz hummed, while sipping some wine before her gaze met yours and then Rita’s disheveled state.

“Oh my god.” Liz immediately put her glass doing and rushed over to Rita, her hands wandering all over the woman, her gaze scouring the woman’s injuries, “Rita, Darling, what happened…??”

Rita’s lip trembled before more violent sobs came out. No coherent words were possible for the woman at this point, all she could do was embrace Liz and sob into her chest. Liz happily consoled the poor woman before her gaze meet yours along with the go bag.

“I’m sorry…” you mouthed, referring to breaking up her and Alex’s obvious night together.

“Hush now, you did the right thing, take Rita’s things to the first bedroom on the second floor.” Liz told you, waving off your unneeded apology.

You immediately nodded and went to go up the stairs. Then Luz turned to Alex.

“Go run a bath, warm not too hot.” Liz spoke firmly.

Alex was off to the master bathroom after a quick nod. When you both returned, you found Rita clung around Liz like a Koala, clinging on for dear life and continuing to sob in her chest. The sight brought flashbacks of the night you had stumbled up on Liz’s doorstep, in an eerily same condition as Rita…

Liz soothed Rita while guiding her to the master bathroom. The older blonde sent you a comforting gaze with a nod, telling you that she had it. You placed a hand on your heart and took a shattered breath, nodding slowly.

It was then that you noticed Alex coming up beside you. You turned your head to her slightly.

“I… I just didn’t know where else to go… I’m sorry if I ruined your night…” you breathed out.

Alex brought a hand to your shoulder and reassuringly squeezed your skin lightly. Her eyes twinkled with sympathy and care.

“Hey, it’s okay. You made the right call. And hey, I’m glad to finally meet you.” Alex sighed, “Can I get you anything…?”

You nodded and then sighed yourself.

“Tea maybe…? Or fuck some scotch now that I think about it…”

A deep chuckle reverberated throughout Alex’s chest as she nodded in agreement, going to the kitchen and pulling a bottle out of the liquor cabinet. She poured two glasses and handed you one of them.

“Thanks” you muttered.

Alex hummed an of course in response, before going to sit down in the classy living room. You sat across from her, sipping your scotch lightly. The blonde looked you dead in the eye, as she sighed.

“Liz told me a bit about you and that night.”

You gulped and struggled to maintain the intense eye contact. You knew that Liz and Alex were close, really close, however it still was hard to reconcile another person knowing something so vulnerable about you. But if Liz trusted Alex with it, so did you.

“Yea… I was and am still so grateful to Lizzie for all that she did for me…” you confessed.

“Lizzie…?” Alex chuckled dryly with a cock of an eyebrow.

“Yea…” you breathily chuckled, “Her and my dad worked together…”

Alex smiled lightly in understanding, nodding along, waving her hand in the air and prompting you to continue, knowing from what Liz had said that that wasn’t the whole story.

“Yeah they were colleagues, and so I saw Lizzie at events and she’d been at my childhood home a couple times… I’d always been pretty independent, both my parents working all the time, and me being the oldest led to me getting used to being on my own. And then my parents divorced, and I got even more alone…” you sighed.

Another wave of sympathy washed over Alex’s face, as she sipped her scotch and listened intently.

“I’m sorry. I definitely know the pains of divorced parents…” Alex sighed.

You smiled lightly and nodded, before continuing you tawdry tale,

“Anyways, Lizzie was one of the only people who reached out to me, to y’know check on me and stuff. She’s always been in my corner, and she’s practically filled the role of a mother ever since the divorce…” you spoke out softly.

You could tell that Alex knew most of this, and that she was waiting for the part about how this all connected to Rita, so you cut to the chase.

“Anyways, about two years ago, I meet and started to see this guy… Looking back, he was a lot like my father, and I should have recognized the warning signs earlier… But I didn’t. And I let it go on for an entire year… Until…” you sucked in a breath, “I wound up on Lizzie’s doorstep, heart broken and bruised…”

You saw Alex’s audible gulp at your last sentence. You saw how her hand tightly clutched her glass, her knuckles almost white. With a deep breath, she nodded and prompted you to continue with her hand once more.

“Anywho, Lizzie helped me get my shit together and throw him out of my place and my life. I’d taken his abuse for a whole year, and I’m still recovering to this day from the number he did on me…” You concluded your story.

Alex then stood up and came to sit next to you on the couch you inhabited. Her hand came to squeeze your shoulder reassuringly.

“I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that…” Alex sighed, “I hear you, recovery takes time.”

You took a breathy, deep breath with a shaky nod, all the memories of your past coming up as you talked about it all. But her touch was soothing. It was then that Liz emerged from the hallway and came into the living room with a sigh. The older woman sat down next to you, a hand running up and down your thigh in reassurance.

“She’s okay, Rita is going to be fine.” Liz hummed, before stealing your glass of scotch and sipping away at it.

You didn’t mind the cheeky gesture, lord knows she needed the relaxation, merely humming and nodding in response.

“She’s in the bath, and she’s asking for you…” Liz spoke once more.

You sucked in a breath and nodded, starting to stand up. As you went to leave and find Rita in the master bath, you turned back towards Liz and Alex, who were now snuggling lovingly on the couch.

“Thank you Lizzie… Really, thank you.” You breathed out shakily.

Liz met your gaze, her eyes filled with love and care, and the older woman nodded.

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

You nodded lightly with a small smile, before turning around and making your way to find Rita. By the time you reached the bath, you found Rita passed out in the warm water, snoring lightly and peacefully. You noted how graceful and content Rita looked asleep. Coming up to the tub, you sat down next to the rim, and proceeded to tuck a stray hair behind Rita’s ear.

She must be exhausted… you thought. And your suspicions were confirmed as the woman continued to sleep until the water in the tub threatened to go cold. It was then that you gently nudged the brunette out from her slumber. She snorted lightly as her eyes fluttered open. Her gaze still looked shattered and sad, and her lip was still lightly trembling.

“Fuck I’m mm sorry, I must have fallen asleep—” Rita rambled in a quiet mumble.

“Hush, none of that. It’s completely alright…” you comforted the woman, raising your hand for her to stop.

Rita shut her mouth and blushed a little, then shivering in the now cold bath water.

“Thanks…” she whispered.

“Of course. Now let’s get you out and into something warm…” you hummed, grabbing a fluffy towel from the bathroom cabinet and then reaching your hand out towards Rita.

Rita happily took your hand, then climbing out of the tub, then you proceeded to wrap the woman up in the warm towel.

“M-my clothes…” Rita murmured, looking to the ground as fear lurched in the pit of her stomache at the idea of having to wear her bloodied clothing.

You gently rubbed her towel wrapped shoulders with a light smile.

“I grabbed some things before we left your place, the bag is on the toilet. It will have to do for now, until we figure out what to do…” you cooed caringly.

Rita blushed lightly and muttered a thank you. You told her it’s was the least that you could do, before giving her a kiss on the forehead and leaving her in the bathroom to go through the bag and change.

As you exited the room and walked back into the living room, you found Liz and Alex right where you had left them, with Alex curled up in Liz’s arms. Liz’s head popped up from her gaze on Alex back to you as you came into the living room and took a seat on an opposing couch, with a pondering look on your face.

“I know that look…” Liz hummed cheekily, taking another sip of your scotch, “What’s on your mind, kiddo?”

You bit your lip, pulling out your phone, before looking over to Liz.

“I was thinking about maybe calling Barba…” you mused aloud, your mind questioning on what to do next.

At this, Alex perked up to. Liz’s eyes widened and her expression was a knowing one, one that quickly understood your line of thought.

“I see… What did Rita say?” Liz hummed, placing the scotch back on the table and much to Alex’s delight starting to massage the young blonde’s shoulders.

You looked away from Liz at her words, and back to your phone.

“When I asked where she could go, she said not Rafael… I know that their friends, she’s mentioned him before… But he could help…” you sighed, inwardly conflicted.

Liz sighed at your admission. And she seemed to be in deep thought for a moment before she spoke,

“When you came to me, did I call anyone…?” The older woman asked you.

You bit your lip and sighed.

“No…”

“Exactly. Even though I wanted to… Probably would have called Liv, but I didn’t. Because you didn’t want me to.” Liz spoke,

You once again looked to the ground instead of meeting the older woman’s gaze.

“I’m not saying that Barba is a bad idea…” she slowly explained, “I think that it would be best if we ask Rita first.”

“Ask me what?” Rita’s timid voice echoed through the expansive living room and kitchen.

All three of your heads swiveled with extreme speed to the end of the hallway where the brunette stood. She padded her way through part of the kitchen and then into the living room. You immediately scooted over and lightly waved her over to come and sit. Rita did exactly that before repeating her question, more vocal this time.

“What did you want to ask me first?” The woman spoke.

Liz and Alex immediately eyed you, quirking their eyebrows and very clearly telling you that since this was your idea, you were the one who was going to say something. You gulped, turning your body more towards the group. Your gaze met Rita’s and you reached your hands out to grasp her left available hand and reassuringly squeeze it.

“I… We were talking about maybe calling Liv… or Barba…” you shakily breathed out, squeezing her hand lovingly while speaking to comfort the woman.

The same panic from earlier this night came rushing back to the woman’s gaze. But she was a little more collected now, and she seemed to handle the surge of emotions better this time around.

“I…” Rita stammered, “I don’t know…”

She slumped forward a bit and closed her eyes, a singular tear escaping her eyes. You immediately extended your arm and brought the brunette into your soft embrace.

“That’s okay. We can deal with all that later… How are you feeling…?” You gently spoke.

“Exhausted…” Rita choked out, “and stupid… like it’s all my fault…!”

The broken defense lawyer turned completely towards you, clinging to your frame as she began to cry into your shoulder. You gently caressed her back and shoulders reassuringly.

“That’s it, it’s going to be ok, Rita… It’s all going to be okay…” you soothed the woman.

“B-but how do you know that…?”

You sighed.

“Because… I’ve been through something eerily similar…”

At this, Rita pulled back and looked at you with eyes full of empathy.

“I’m so sorry…” she uttered, fully processing the words you had just spoken.

You smiled lightly and cupped Rita’s face.

“It’s okay… I’m past that now. Now I’m here for you… Now how about bed…?” You hummed caringly.

Rita nodded and hummed a soft thank you, before you guided the woman up and to one of Liz’s many guest bedrooms. You stayed with her until she was asleep, which didn’t take too long, but you stayed nonetheless, before then turning in for the night yourself in another guest room, which Liz had so kindly offered you.

~~

Rita spent the rest of the weekend at Liz’s. Liz and Alex were more than happy to host, and they graciously let you stay as well to keep an eye on the broken brunette.

Then come Monday morning, you were walking into the SVU squad room with Rita anxiously by your side. You grabbed her shaky hand and squeezed it reassuringly, as your other hand rapped on Captain Liv Benson’s office door. Neither of you expected Barba to swing the door open, and he sure as hell didn’t expect to see Rita.

Liv ushered you in, and Rafael could immediately sense something was wrong. Rafael simply closed the door behind you, not bothering to leave.

“Rita, Y/N, how can I help you?” Liv spoke.

Rita shuffled her feet and looked to the ground. You squeezed her hand again and whispered that it was going to be okay.

“Wait what is going on…?” Rafael cut in.

Liv sent Barba a warning glance for him to be quiet to let you or Rita speak. You gently looked towards the brunette, whose lip was now trembling.

“I… I was raped…” Rita shakily breathed out, as a small tear rolled down her left cheek.

~~~

Part 2 with a happy ending…? Or maybe something more angsty…? 😏

Alex Cabot Masterlist

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Rita Calhoun Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Elizabeth Donnelly Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Rafael Barba Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

[moodiboards]

Can I get another moodboard for priest!barba pls?!

I am so sorry it took me so long, but I hope you like this 🥰

(moodboard under the cut -- Minors DNI!)