#Rafael Barba/Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr.

[ceethewriter]

Been a while since I published a thing so here’s a little Barisi thing for a ficwip “write exactly 1000 words” prompt: hot tub.

[malevolent-muse]

⛊✋⛊

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[professorwerewolfmcwerewolf]

Sweet Barisi Headcanon:

Barba and Carisi spend a lot of time in Barba's office. With Barba working on the current case and Carisi studying. Occasionally, Barba will pose a question he already has his solution to just to challenge Carisi. Other times, Carisi will ask genuine hypotheticals he's curious about.

[sonnykewpie]

saw this tweet and just instantly thought of them 

[thena0315]

Remember when Carisi got to Richard Wheatley in open court

Barba’s like: “I taught this boy too well.”

Liv’s like: “I taught this boy well.”

[narcissuslecter]

As Needed Chapter 2

hey babes, it's your favorite internet menace and writer who is putting out content again!! i have been not as active recently and i swear i am gettin back in the game baby. anyways.

i give u all, As Needed, chapter 2.

heavy chapter warning, please read the tws.

hope u enjoy, leave kudos, comments or bug me here! i take headcanon requests (fandoms/characters i take requests for found here headcanon request list)

be gay, see u next time <3

[state-of-disorder]

Me and my bestie being evil in our slutty little outfits

[asexual-fandom-queen]

Last Night Really Was the Cherry on the Cake

A groan punches past Carisi’s lips and Peter’s blood heats. He doesn’t share Carisi’s interest in men, but there’s something inside him – a vanity, maybe  – that’s on fire for the way Carisi wants him.

Set sometime during season twenty. Sonny crashes at Peter's. A simple case of morning wood escalates.

Pairing: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Peter Stone Rating: Explicit Words: 3,747 Tags: First Time, Mutual Masturbation, Queer Themes, Friends With Benefits, Platonic Sex, Queerplatonic Themes, Implied Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Shameless Smut, No Romance

Read it here on AO3!

[kayyybenson]

How You Met - SVU Gang

Olivia, Alex, and Amanda are mother AU because I personally would love to have one of them be my mother

Sonny Carisi:

    Ironically, you used to be a lawyer. You came from a rich family that always pushed you to do your best and moved from Boston to New York after secretly attending the police academy behind your parents' backs.

    I walked into the squad room, Liv had told me ahead of time that there were some changes but I wasn't expecting a whole new seating arrangement. "Y/N, I know you and Amanda work harmoniously together but we have a new guy so you're going to break him in." She gestured towards the man sitting across from my desk. I placed my stuff down and sat, ignoring him. I wasn't trying to be rude I just had a lot of paperwork to do

    "Nice to meet you, I'm Dominick Carisi Jr. but you can just call me Sonny." He stretched his long arm across the desk and I shook it.

    "Y/N L/N. I'm guessing you're my new partner, I'm happy to be working with you, Sonny."

Nick Amaro:

    You met him at the same time Amanda met him when he walked into the squad room with a full beard. Funny thing, you moved to New York long before Amanda, you were getting tired of Kim's shit. 

    "When are you going to stop bringing new people in?" Liv asked Cragen, it was almost like she wanted to be fired.

    "When you get over Elliot. Look at Y/N, she's recovering well." Cregen pointed at me.

    "I'm only doing well because Amanda is here. I'm telling you she can read my thoughts." I whispered the last part, earning a smack on the back of the head.

    "Well don't hate me for this, I'm partnering you with a Narcotics transfer, and Amanda, you'll be with Fin."

    "Jesus Christ, another one? Was Fin, not enough?" 

    "That was uncalled for." Fin jokingly glared as the elevator opened.

    "Oh wow," I mumbled when I saw my new partner I walked up to him and introduced myself. "I'm Y/N Rollins, you must be the narcotics transfer."

    "Is it that obvious?" I nodded and he chucked. "Nick Amaro,"

    "Careful Amaro, your new partner has a bad temper." Amanda chuckled when Nick turned to you shocked.

Rafael Barba:

    You were an elementary school teacher, first grade specifically. You met Rafael when one of your student's parents raped you for giving their kid a bad grade on a test. 

    "You know I'll never be able to return to my job after this, right?" I frowned and looked at the SVU captain.

    "Well, not at that school. But maybe another school would take you." The door opened and a man in a suit came in. 

    "Ms. L/N? I'm Rafael Barba, the ADA." 

    "Nice to meet you." I scooted away, scared he would touch me.

    "Now, I understand what happened to you, so let's win this. Yeah? Tell me what happened."

    "Well, I had requested for this parent to come in for a conference because his daughter was failing all her tests, he agreed and when he was in my classroom he pinned me against the wall and raped me, he kept saying 'no one fails my daughter, this is your fault'." 

    "Well, we got enough from the rape kit to arrest him, we just need a positive ID from you." I nodded, anything to but this perv away.

Olivia Benson:

    You were found in a pimp house that the squad infiltrated, and you were around 5 years old. Your mother pimped women out to "Give them better lives"

    "Everybody get down!" I heard a voice yell, and people started rushing in and pushing people down. I quickly ran to the corner of the room, trying to escape the chaos. A woman came up to me and crouched down to my height.

    "Hi sweetie, my name is Olivia, what's yours?"

    "Y-Y/N."

    "Nice to meet you Y/N. Don't worry, you're safe now." They brought me to a hospital to check me out, and once they were done they sat me in a room with toys, No one else was there though, it was just me, in a room, all alone. I decided to draw with some crayons. The door opened and the same women from before came in and sat across from me. "Hi Y/N, do you remember me?" 

    "Yeah, you're Olivia, you arrested my mommy." I continued working on my drawing.

    "Do you know why I arrested your mommy?" 

    "Because she sold women. I was next. She said I was going to a nice man named Josh."

    "Well, you're not anymore. What are you drawing?"

    "Me and Josh. Mommy had us meet, and said I had to be broken in."

    "Sweetie, did they make you do something you didn't want to do?" I rapidly nodded.

    "Something was shoved inside of me, I said it hurt and to stop, but they didn't."

Amanda Rollins:

Amanda adopted you in Georgia, after a case that involved your older sister. You were waiting in a room in the hospital for your 'new mother'

    "Hey honey, how are you holding up?" I recognized the woman, she asked me questions about my sister,

    "Good." I made one of my Barbies hit the other one.

    "Your doll says otherwise."

    "She's fine, just a bruise." I colored a purple mark on her forehead. "If she doesn't recover I'll have a nice burial for her."

    "....Okay... Let's go home, okay?" 

Alex Cabot:

    You were the daughter of a rapist, he would use you to lure women in, they would come to babysit you then he would pull them into the bedroom. You were a main witness in the trial, going against the person who gave you food and shelter.

    "Okay, are you sure you can do this?" Detective Benson rubbed my back, we were in the hallway, waiting for Detective Stabler to come to get me to testify.

    "Yeah-yeah totally." The door opened and we were motioned to come in. "No turning back now."

    "The people call Y/N Hewwitt to the stand." I took a deep breath and sat down, bad enough that I was testifying against my own father but the crowd staring at me just made it so much worse. "How old are you Miss Hewwitt?" The blonde ADA asked. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out, I could feel his eyes on me, and when I looked over he was giving me 'the look'

     "I-I uh,"

    "Answer the question Miss Hewwitt." The judge badgered.

    "I-" my chest got tight, "my-" tears blurred my vision, "10." I pushed out trying to calm myself.

    "Stop this madness, my daughter is clearly in distress." My father tried to trick everyone, oh how I wanted to see him get locked away.

    "The witness is dismissed."

    "No-" I wheezed out. "No-I-I saw it! He did it!" 

    "Miss Cabot, control your witness." The ADA came over to talk to me but when she touched me I broke even more.

    "Don't touch me! He would look for babysitters, tell them he had a 10-year-old daughter who needed to be looked after while he was at work, he would pretend to leave then come back and drag her into the bedroom. She would beg him to stop, he did that to at least 8 babysitters." There was a pause before my father jumped from his seat.

    "You little slut! I gave you a place to live and you ratted me out! You will die for this, just like your mother!" He was dragged out and I started sobbing the ADA held her arms out to me, I accepted this time and sobbed into her chest while she rubbed my back and promised I'd never have to do that again.

[littleoddwriter]

Rules, Guidelines, etc.:

[Used to be: ronaldrx]

I'm a hobby writer and mostly write (x Reader) FanFictions and Headcanons. But I am also working on my original story whenever I can, so that I’ll hopefully publish it as an actual book someday. My Ao3.

Here’s a link to my Ko-Fi, in case you want to support me financially. It would mean a lot to me! (Obviously no obligation whatsoever! You never have to pay for anything on my blog, it’s merely an option for donations.)

Also, here are my sideblogs if you’re interested:

Dead Poets Society

Horror

Raúl Esparza

The Simpsons

Only ask for the characters I’ve got listed, please. I’ve written down all of the ones I actually write for, and the list is being updated regularly, as I often find new (actors, whose) characters I write for! (And yes, I always write for every character, so don’t ever worry if you wanna ask for one I haven’t written for in a long time, or ever, it’s fine!) Please always be patient with me. If I haven’t outright declined your request, it’s definitely in the works; even if it has been weeks or months since you’ve sent it in! And only send your requests via ASKs. No DMs or comments, please.

If you have a request, send an Ask to my inbox.

NO sexual NSFW requests, please (more details further down).

Requests = CLOSED (Max. Limit: 10)

Current number of requests: 10

Last updated: October 29, 2023

Masterlists are linked with fandoms/actors/characters below. I WRITE FOR:

ALFRED MOLINA characters:

Doctor Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus

DAVID DASTMALCHIAN characters:

Abner Krill/Polka-Dot Man

Bob Taylor

Denham

James Lewis

Johnson

Kurt Goreshter

Lonny Crane

Murdoc

Philippe/Abra Kadabra

Simon Lynch

Thomas Schiff

ETHAN HAWKE characters:

Arthur Harrow

Ellison Oswalt

Goodnight Robicheaux

James Sandin

EWAN MCGREGOR characters:

Alex Law

Catcher Block

Christopher Robin

Curt Wild

Dan Torrance

John Bishop

Mark Renton

Obi-Wan Kenobi 

Roman Sionis/Black Mask* (Birds of Prey - Masc!Reader only) [Any other version of Roman Sionis/Black Mask can be with a Gender Neutral/Female!Reader.]

HUGH DANCY characters:

Adam Raki

Cal Roberts

Luke Brandon

Executive ADA Nolan Price

Will Graham

KARL URBAN characters:

Billy Butcher

Black Hat

John Kennex

Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Markiplier EGOS:

Darkiplier

Illinois

Wilford Warfstache

Yancy

PAUL DANO characters:

Alex Jones/Barry Milland [Platonic only!]

Dwayne Hoover [Platonic only!]

Edward Nashton/The Riddler

Eli Sunday

Jay (Okja)

Joby Taylor

Klitz

PEDRO PASCAL characters:

Agent Whiskey

Dave York

Dio Morrissey

Eddie

Ezra

Francisco “Catfish” Morales

Marcus Moreno

Marcus Pike

Max Phillips

Maxwell Lord

Oberyn Martell

Ricky Hauk

RAÚL ESPARZA characters:

Bobby

Dr. Frederick Chilton*

Jackson Neill

Jonas Nightingale

Rafael Barba

Characters from 9-1-1 (Lone Star):

Carlos Reyes*

Eddie Diaz

Evan “Buck” Buckley

Howard “Chimney” Han

Josh Russo*

Mateo Chavez

Paul Strickland

Bobby Nash

Tim Rosewater

TK Strand*

Characters from Law and Order(: Special Victims Unit):

Detective/ADA Dominick “Sonny” Carisi, Jr.

Sergeant Mike Dodds

Detective Nick Amaro

Executive ADA Nolan Price

ADA Peter Stone

ADA Rafael Barba

Deputy Chief William Dodds

Little Miss Sunshine:

Dwayne Hoover [Platonic only!]

Frank*

Our Flag Means Death:

Edward Teach/Blackbeard*

Frenchie

Izzy Hands

Stede Bonnet*

Prisoners (2013):

Alex Jones/Barry Milland [Platonic only!]

Bob Taylor

Detective David Loki

Renfield (2023):

Count Dracula

Robert Montague Renfield

Tedward “Teddy” Lobo

SLASHERS/Horror Film Characters:

Asa Emory/The Collector

Ash J. Williams [I will usually default to Ash from the TV show, unless requested otherwise!]

Billy Lenz (1974)

Billy Loomis

Bo Sinclair

Brahms Heelshire

Bubba Sawyer/Leatherface (TCM 1974 and TCM 2)

Charles Lee Ray/Chucky

Chop Top Sawyer

Corey Cunningham

Dewey Riley

Drayton Sawyer

Herbert West*

Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull

Lawrence Gordon

Lester Sinclair

Luigi Largo

Mark Hoffman  

Nubbins Sawyer

Pavi Largo

Stu Macher  

Vincent Sinclair

William Easton

Star Wars:

Anakin Skywalker

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Qui-Gon Jinn

The Girl Next Door:

Klitz

Eli

Characters from The Simpsons:

Cecil Terwilliger*

Fat Tony

Frankie the Squealer

Grady*

Jack Lassen

Johnny Tightlips

Julio*

Legs

Louie

Moe Szyslak

Ned Flanders

Otto Mann

Seymour Skinner

Sideshow Bob

Sideshow Mel

Snake Jailbird

Timothy Lovejoy

Waylon Smithers*

What We Do in the Shadows:

Anton (Movie)

Deacon

Guillermo de la Cruz*

Laszlo Cravensworth

Nandor the Relentless

Viago

Vladislav

* Please note that an asterisk (*) means that these characters are Male/Masc/GenderNeutral!Reader only (including non-binary, of course). Platonic relationships with Female!Reader are possible, but no romantic ones.

If it’s a character that is open to all Readers, and you do not specify in your request what you want, I’ll usually opt for a Gender Neutral Reader by default.

SHIPS, such as:

BlackBonnet (OFMD)

SteddyHands (OFMD)

Black Pete x Lucius Spriggs (OFMD)

Buck x Josh Russo (9-1-1)

Dracfield (Renfield 2023)

Buddie (9-1-1)

Eli x Klitz (The Girl Next Door)

Nandermo (WWDITS)

Herbert West x Dan Cain (Re-Animator)

McKirk (Star Trek: AOS)

Oluwande x Jim Jimenez (OFMD)

Barisi (Law & Order SVU) 

Renfield x Teddy Lobo (Renfield 2023)

Sickrent (Trainspotting/T2)

Stobotnik (Sonic Movie)

Tarlos (9-1-1: Lone Star)

AnderPerry (Dead Poets Society)

ZsaszMask (Birds of Prey)

Lastly, I would like to add things I will NOT write (about):

Sexual NSFW fics/headcanons (I used to write those as you can see in my Masterlists, but I have my reasons for not writing them anymore. Any hints at sexual topics are fine).

Anything related to death as the main subject (this includes deadly diseases, anything fatal, really, etc.).

Anything that romanticizes Mental Illness (my Vent Fics about my own disorders obviously do not romanticize any of it and I do not stand for that).

(Recreational) Drug Use

Extreme Possessive Behaviour and/or Jealousy

Yandere

If you have something you would like me to write for, but you do not see it listed anywhere, please ask me before requesting it, so we can talk about it. I hope you enjoy yourself on my blog and have a good time!

My Asks and DMs are always open for any questions or simply to talk!

- Jesse

[hleonaa]

Feedback Fest 2024

In honor of @transformativeworks's Feedback Fest 2024, here are my 10 fic recs across multiple fandoms and in no particular order:

Like a River Flows by brooklinegirl

Fandom: The Untamed/MDZS Relationship: Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Summary:

Wei Ying has been Lan Zhan's partner for two months, three days, and seven hours. Plus or minus a handful of minutes, if you're counting. Which Wei Ying is.

the soft animal of your body by howodd5ever

Fandom: The Untamed/MDZS Relationship: Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Summary:

The problem was that he didn’t remember anymore why he’d left. Sure, something about finding himself or discovering his place in the world, or whatever other bullshit he’d talked himself into to end up in the middle of nowhere. Alone.He missed Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian sets off alone after the events at Guanyin Temple and finds himself in pretty serious trouble.

no one lights a candle to remember by asravine

Fandom: The Untamed/MDZS Relationship: Jiang Wanyin & Wei Wuxian Summary:

“Didi,” Wei Wuxian says softly. His thumb on Jiang Cheng’s cheek is calloused and warm and burns of affection. Jiang Cheng barely stops himself from leaning in. “Didi, don’t cry because of me.” I have thirteen years of mourning to catch up to, Jiang Cheng thinks, but doesn’t say. As always, the chasm between them is an incredible divide, and Wei Wuxian is the only one leaning his hand out into the darkness. – (or: Jiang Cheng and his memories of his older brother, before and after the fall)

A Flawed Mosaic by AHumanFemale

Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Relationship: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. Summary:

“You’re Rafael Barba. Assistant District Attorney for Manhattan,” he answered and Rafael let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. At least until Carisi smiled so wide and happy and added, “My husband.” The words were so alien to him that he honestly couldn’t respond for a second, just kept staring at Carisi’s happy face and at the stitches in his head while he saw flashes of blood on the car window. He couldn’t imagine his expression but knew it was something less than comforting as he watched Carisi’s face fall, his eyebrows draw together. “What?” Carisi asked finally, eyes flitting to the nurse still hovering in the corner of the room. “What’s the matter?” -- [Or, Carisi gets amnesia and believes they're married and Rafael has to play along... risking his own heart in the process.]

Darling You Will Bury Me Before I Bury You by Stablersbensons

Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Relationship: Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler Summary:

Olivia leaves the precinct on a cold Tuesday morning and returns two days later in a body bag. Elliot never realized how the absence of someone could take up so much space.

downpour by owlinaminor

Fandom: Sense8 Relationship: Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar Summary:

It is never just rain, with them. It is never just a drizzle, or a mist, or a sprinkling of the flowers. It is always a downpour. (a kala/wolfgang relationship study in three parts.)

with roses red come lilies white by bartonbones

Fandom: Moon Knight Relationship: Marc Spector & Steven Grant Summary:

Marc originally sets up the phone line to help keep tabs on Steven whenever he was too tired to crawl his way into consciousness and pay attention--but he can only listen to Steven beg for his Mum to talk back for so long until he has to do something about it. A one-shot about how Marc takes care of Steven by writing postcards pretending to be someone they both miss. OR: Marc Spector takes "reparenting yourself" literally.

a god at your altar by thedaisywitch

Fandom: Eternals Relationship: Druig/Makkari Summary: It doesn't have one but it's beautiful, trust me :)

Looking Back, Seeing Far by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Relationship: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange Summary:

Tony Stark has rebuilt a world after Thanos snapped. Through blood and tears and suffering, he's rebuilt it--and he has Stephen Strange to blame for what he went through. He does so, hating the wizard with all his considerable capacity for passion, and Stephen does the same. It leaves them squabbling like petty children or perhaps mortal enemies when they're supposed to be saving the world, and it's getting in the way of productivity. So Tony's family comes up with a plan. “You’re gonna make a list,” Rhodey said. “Seven things you like about Stephen Strange.” Tony dropped the notepad like a hot potato. “What?”  Rhodey didn’t blink. “Each week.” "No. I refuse."

all that laughter crumbling through your fingers by philthestone

Fandom: Brooklyn Nine-Nine Relationship: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago Summary:

Amy kind-of sort-of dies, and everything falls apart. Rosa observes.

[malevolent-muse]

Carisi: Change is inedible.

Barba: I think you mean inevitable.

Carisi: *spitting out coins* Nope. Definitely inedible.

Barba: *looking on incredulously* Unbelievable.

[professorwerewolfmcwerewolf]

I haven't thought this through much but okay. I love Vampire!Barba fics. Especially love vamp!Barba/human!Carisi fics. And I'm finally joining the Chappell Roan obsession beyond Hot To Go and Good Luck Babe. So on first and second impression, Red Wine Supernova sounds like it'd be a hot vamp/human Barisi songfic. 👀🩸🧛‍♂️

Aka the line "Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck" + symbolism of red wine = this song is Obviously about a vampire 😂

[ao3feed-ncislosangeles]

Navy's Nightmare

by CrazyMoonLove (TheJupiterGirl) When the '' Female Navy Killer '' comes back, all the women members and ex-members of the navy forces are called back to the bases for their security. But will, the identity of this psychopath who raped, tortured and killed so many women, be revealed ?..... ...Read it to know.   Inspired by : '' From Port to Port '' by SamHeartfillia(SamFullbuster) Words: 5, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Top Gun (Movies), NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Criminal Minds (US TV), Law & Order: SVU, 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020), Hawaii Five-0 (2010), S.W.A.T. (TV 2017), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Grey's Anatomy, Chicago PD (TV), Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Castle (TV 2009), The Mentalist, Fast & Furious (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Categories: F/M, Other Characters: Connor Rhodes (Chicago Med), Evan "Buck" Buckley, TK Strand, Kelly Severide, Jay Halstead, Anthony DiNozzo, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Danny "Danno" Williams, Spencer Reid, Jackson Avery, Brian O'Conner, Jake Peralta, Jim Street, Richard Castle, Patrick Jane, Will Halstead, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Matthew Casey, Adam Ruzek, Jethro Gibbs, Rafael Barba, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Steve McGarrett, Aaron Hotchner, Mark Sloan (Grey's Anatomy) Relationships: Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide, Jay Halstead/Adam Ruzek, Anthony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs, Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw/Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Jackson Avery/Mark Sloan, Brian O'Conner/Dominic Toretto, G Callen/Original Male Character(s), Jake Peralta/Original Male Character(s), Jim Street/Original Male Character(s), Richard Castle/Original Character(s), Patrick Jane/Original Character(s) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Serial Killers, Killing, Rape/Non-con Elements, Blood and Violence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, My First Smut, Blood and Gore, Blood and Torture via https://ift.tt/4qEmtkG

[moirai-moros]

bar none · chapter one; wednesday (ao3 link) - pairing: rafael barba/dominick "sonny" carisi jr. rating: t, later prob. m+ words: 3672 summary:

“You’re really intending to sit the bar next week? In the condition you’re in?” “Yeah? I mean, is that so hard to believe? I’m just a little roughed up is all.” “Roughed up?” The counsellor repeated, his voice tinged with disbelief. “You were shot by an assailant. You have a head wound. And you think that putting yourself through a bar exam is the correct way to recover from that?” With a sigh, Sonny sank back into the pillows on the bed. “Look, I appreciate the concern, Counselor, I really do. But I know you’ve worked really hard for things you’re not willing to give up on, even when the odds weren’t in your favour. Maybe it’s a dumb idea to assume I can think straight enough to pass the bar after hitting every stair on my way down, but I don’t want to… not try. I’ve put a lot into this, and I’m not givin’ up, not now. Not so close to the finish line.”

--

tl;dr; an A.D.A. helps a Fordham Law student revise for the bar from a hospital bed.

When Sonny came to, he immediately regretted regaining consciousness.

Everything burned, everything hurt, everything was too loud and too bright. Eyes adjusting to the offensive brightness of the hospital fluorescents and crisp linen bedding, his mind spun its wheels aimlessly for a moment - two - as he tried to regain his bearings. It felt like he’d been reset, roughly turned off then on again like the vending machine in the break room that was always on the fritz, and he certainly felt like he’d had the shit kicked out of him just as much.

“Carisi?” A voice spoke from somewhere beside him, one familiar enough to force him to focus his eyes and try to gather himself together enough to rejoin reality again.

Canting his head to the side - Christ, his head hurt - the image of an overly-concerned Rollins swam into sharpness. Brow furrowed, she looked like she hadn’t slept in some time judging by the rings underneath her eyes, one hand reaching forward and clasped around his own forearm - and dimly, Sonny realised where he was.

“Rollins.” He was aiming for that trademark Carisi-family confidence in his response, but to his dismay it came out as more of a grating croak. Ugh. “Hey, you look awful.”

The concern on her face was quickly replaced by surprise, then bemusement as she scoffed. “Obviously you haven’t looked in a mirror recently, but thanks for the compliment. Charming.” She pauses briefly, expression softening as Sonny looks around the room sluggishly, trying to piece the mess that was him in this hospital bed back together. “How are you feeling? Y’know, you gave us quite a scare back there.”

Back where?

It’s Sonny’s turn to frown as he turns his head back to rest position on his pillow, the effort too much to both keep up an appearance for Rollins and try to figure out what had put him in here.

Last thing he remembered… think, Sonny, think. Okay, so he’d been at work - that much he could remember, because he can remember Fin putting in their evening takeaway order (two chow meins, a bag of prawn crackers and a large fried rice from the Chinese joint two blocks away); he can remember them being interrupted by the Lieutenant as the prawn crackers had just been broken out, sending Sonny and Rollins over to check out a suspicious call placed by a witness on a case they were currently working; he can remember Amanda making snarky comments about his driving on the way there, and he can remember the just as snarky rebuttals he’d made in response (“Yeah, well, I can’t drive, but you can’t boil water without settin’ it on fire.”).

They’d turned up to the apartment block what, perhaps nine? Nine thirty? It was dark out and New York was sporting a classic miserable winter’s evening, because Sonny remembers being cold as all hell as he didn’t remember to bring his thicker jacket. A witness had called SVU in a relative panic, babbling into the phone incoherently about being afraid and paranoid, and “please, just come quickly”. The call had been so non-specific and hard to understand that the actual problem wasn’t really apparent, so Liv had sent him and Rollins to do a welfare check, especially since this was the only witness they’d managed to convince to stay on their rolodex for a potential testimony further down the track.

The case itself was a sticky one: hard to tie together and lacking a lot of concrete evidence, but flush with consequential evidence and obvious lines to draw together. The perfect combination to give the entirety of SVU and the DA’s Office a collective migraine, hence the overtime, hence the late night, hence the prawn crackers and quickly cooling tupperware of chow mein that had sat at Sonny’s desk. An elaborate front of high-school tutors - all young women, all decidedly underage, all listed like they were in a catalogue on an innocuous looking website - had been circulating the depraved underbelly of the city, money changing hands in legitimate-looking ways to solicit teenagers for exploitation. TARU had their work cut out for them, and no hard evidence had floated to the top of the bucket of scum yet. They had been attempting to ply overseas domain providers with warrants and as much pressure as SVU could put on, but aside from identifying some local girls involved with the ring, their work the whole week had come up with a big fat nothing.

That might’ve been why Sonny hadn’t really expected the way things played out that evening. The welfare check, by all ticks and balances, should’ve also been a bit fat nothing. But, as he’s starting to remember as his head threatens to tear itself into small pieces, it had definitely been a bit fat something.

The entire situation had felt off as soon as the lady had answered the door. Small things, that Sonny simply catalogues as a second thought now - the wobble of a voice, the watery look in her green eyes, the fact that she would only open the door a crack to show a sign of life to the people she’d called over just twenty minutes ago. Exchanging a look with Rollins as they stood out in the apartment corridor, Carisi had asked a couple of standard questions - was she safe? (“yes,”), was there anyone else at home besides her? (“no- … no.”) and then the fatal, could we come in for a moment?

Hm. Yeah, he could remember why he was here now.

The question had shot such fear into the woman that she’d fatally faltered in her act, eyes darting off to the side to some unknown player in the room behind her - and then, a flurry of action had unfolded. The door swung back on its hinges hard enough for the wood to scream as it slammed into the inside wall, a large man pushing his way out and essentially bowling over the two detectives standing outside, sending them staggering for balance as he made a run for it down the corridor. Sonny had already had one hand on his gun at the fearful glance from the witness, drawing it as he and Rollins took off down the corridor after him.

“Stop, NYPD!” He’d yelled in full sprint, handgun still trained on the figure as they rounded a corner to the stairwell. Of course, he wasn’t stopping but instead trying to jump the stairs three at a time, the detectives thundering after him and managing to actually close a lot of the distance despite the cramped quarters - and it’s when they catch up to the same flight of stairs that the man stops for a second and raises his own weapon.

“Gun!” Rollins shouted with urgency, turning to the far side of the stairwell’s wall to take cover. Sonny, already a third down the flight, had no such cover to turn to and faced with an aggravated suspect, he froze midstep and squeezed the trigger.

It all happened so quickly - the familiar pop of a gunshot, or gunshots? ripping through the air like a knife through canvas - and, well. Now?

Now, Sonny was here.

- hold on.

“Wait, I got shot?” He asked incredulously, voice tinged in disbelief. “I thought I shot him.”

“You got shot,” Rollins confirmed politely. “And, you fell down the rest of the stairs.”

“God,” Sonny’s voice came out as a mumble as he attempted to raise his hands to summarily bury his face in, but the pain that shoots up his right arm when he does so makes him swiftly reconsider. “You’re kidding. Ain’t no way I’m gonna live this down.”

“What, that you got shot in the line of duty? Are you serious?”

“And, I fell down the stairs. Is that why my head feels like I’ve gone twenty rounds in a ring with the Hulk?”

“Well, if you want the laundry list: you have a fairly major concussion, a gunshot wound in your right shoulder, and a sprained ankle.” Distantly, Sonny’s aware that Rollins was trying to keep things light, but even concussed he could pick up the underlying worry in her voice. “Let’s just say you’re not getting discharged tonight, and the doctor says you’re banned from - uh, how did he put it? - ‘any phones and whatnot’ for several weeks.”

“Several weeks,” Sonny repeated, eyes slipping closed as he desperately wondered just who the hell he’d pissed off upstairs to have eaten shit so hard while simply pursuing a suspect. “Several weeks.”

(There’s something important, something critical in his head that conflicted strongly with the idea of taking off ‘several weeks’, but the what, the why was too difficult to sort from all the pain and brain-fog. Too much effort.)

“Yeah. Look, I’ve got to go tell Liv that you’re awake - she’s been worried sick about you all night and I’m pretty sure she’s still hanging about. Actually, I’m pretty sure most of the crew are still hanging about.”

He’d roll his eyes at that, but his head hurt too much. Denied the pleasure. “Gloating?”

“Oh, shut up.” Rollins admonished, slowly drawing herself up from the hospital chair with a stiffness that belied sitting in it all night. “You might’ve taken a fall, but you got the guy too. You did good.”

Ah.

“Dead?” He croaked, cracking a tired look back at Amanda.

“Not dead.” She corrected. “Incapacitated. Luckily, incapacitated enough not to shoot at us anymore.”

Oh, fuck. That’s right, what an asshole he was being right now - “God, Rollins, I forgot to ask, are you-”

“I’m totally fine.” His question was cut off before he could finish it, but from what he could make out of Amanda’s face, she looked reassuring. Warm. Not shot. “Thanks to you, for really taking the brunt of it.”

Carisi laughs at that, a dry empty chuckle that makes him instantly wish he hadn’t. Everything burned. Everything felt like shit. But at least it had been for something, right? Even if his pride hurt as much as his brain did right now?

“You’re welcome,” He settled on as Rollins headed over to the door, eyes following her as closely as he could manage. Punctuating her exit with a tired grin; “Though if you feel real grateful, consider the large stack of overdue paperwork on my desk.”

All he hears is Amanda scoff again, and then the room is quiet.

He must’ve drifted off after that, because the next time Sonny wakes up it’s the morning, and the nurse informs him there’s more visitors.

Normally he’d be thrilled to be the center of such adoring attention, but he’d been having the most awful nightmare just before waking. God, it was terrible; to think that he’d dreamed that the bar exam was in a week, and that he’d put himself in a position where he’d injured himself so stupidly and so thoroughly that it’d be near impossible to -

Oh, sweet Mother Mary.

Draping his good arm over his face, Sonny swears under his breath at the sheer stupidity of the universe and all of its creations, yes, even those ones. So deep is he in his current Defcon-5 that he doesn’t realise that the nurse had let two people into his room, and those people had started to repeat themselves louder to get his attention.

“Carisi?” Olivia repeated, strongly enough that it gets him to lift his right arm to look in her direction. Standing at the side of his bed was the Lieutenant, and, strangely, A.D.A. Barba. He - what was he doing here? “Are you alright?”

“Fantastic,” Sonny quipped, his voice still hoarse. “Really great. I think I’ll put in for the New York marathon next week.”

Olivia simply gave him a look that said in no uncertain terms that she could now relax; he was being Carisi, and therefore, he was actually fine (in a relative sense). “Yeah? Noble, but I might hold off on that, actually.”

And right now, it’s easier to just maintain eye contact with the Lieutenant than try to figure out why Barba had tagged along, much less perceive the fact that he had. Here Sonny was, having flown down fifteen stairs and eaten the vinyl floor of a barely-liveable Harlem apartment, looking his worst, feeling his worst, and literally prostrate in front of the one person he only ever wanted to see the best of him. It was absolutely, thoroughly embarrassing right down to Carisi’s core, that he was lying in bed like a dumbass for being a dumbass right now in front of - him.

Him.

If only a giant sinkhole could’ve swallowed the entire apartment building up with him, then this could’ve all been easily solved, but unfortunately the sinkholes in New York never appeared where you wanted them to.

“Rollins gave me an update last night, but the doctors recommended that you got rest so we decided to leave you to it.” Olivia continued. “The squad sends their well wishes, though Fin passes on that he’s ‘commandeered your leftovers.’”

A dry chuckle escaped Sonny at that - and some mild regret. It was good chow mein.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure today?” Carisi asked with an attempt at light-heartedness, glancing up between his two visitors - especially since Barba had yet to say a word. Unnerving, and far too much stress for his battered head to handle. “The Lieutenant and the A.D.A.? Am I getting told off?”

It’s Barba’s turn to scoff quietly, and if Sonny knew any better, he’d say that the counsellor almost looked - concerned?

“Believe me, if that were the case, I would’ve done it already.” Barba stated, his gaze as piercing as ever. Unfair, Sonny thinks, because he’s already been pierced through-and-through by one thing in the last 24 hours. “Actually, I came along with Olivia to check on the suspect’s status - the People can’t prosecute the dead.”

Oddly, Sonny’s heart dropped slightly at the selfish thought that Barba hadn’t simply come down to the hospital to see how he was doing - but yeah, why would he? Better things to do.

“And?”

“You’ll be pleased to know he’ll make a full recovery.”

“Great,” Sonny replied flatly, allowing himself to close his eyes again if only because it was easier than witnessing this entire situation.

“I agree; he’ll be held accountable to the full extent of the law. A huge amount more satisfying than indicting a corpse.”

“Is this your attempt at bedside manner, Counsellor?” The detective groaned. “It could use some work. Like, a lot of work.”

Somewhere down by the foot of the bed, a quick inhale made it sound like Barba was about to retort but Olivia quickly cut whatever it was off with her own question.

“And how are you doing, Carisi? How are you feeling?”

“Yeah, fine,” Attempting to brush it off, Sonny looks back up at Olivia like it’d definitely convince her. It did not. “Honestly. I’m stuck here for a bit, but y’know. Gotta make the best of things. It’s not like I can un-shoot myself.”

Olivia sighed knowingly, her arms crossing over her chest. “Okay, well, is there anything that we can get for you while you’re holed up in here?”

“Nah.” - is his automatic response, because Sonny’s so used to looking after other people that the idea of being asked what he needs is so foreign that a thick, Staten Island-accented ‘nah’ is his go-to - but.

“Actually -” He started again, shifting up in bed slightly. The pain of doing so was apparently evident on his face, as he notices Barba’s eyes flick towards him as he does so. Unreadable, as always. “Could I trouble someone to grab some things from my apartment?”

“Sure. Clothes?”

“Nah, books. There’s a big stack of ‘em on my coffee table, but please ignore the absolutely-everything-else that’s lying around. Haven’t had a chance to clean recently.”

“Oookay.” The look on Olivia’s face suggested that she thought clothes were a far better, far more useful option in Sonny’s situation. “Anything specific?”

“Yeah, just - anything that looks like a law textbook. Uh, I wasn’t going to tell anyone because I don’t think it’s good luck before you know the outcome, but my bar exam? It’s in a week. I kinda need to catch up on study.”

The ensuing silent pause in the room was deafening.

“Carisi, do you really think that’s such a good idea?” Olivia replied softly, in the way that she did when she saw someone in the squad doing something monumentally stupid with their well-being, or their relationships, or their anything. “You’ve just gone through a traumatic shock. Perhaps it’d be better to just… put the exam off until you’re in a better condition.”

The frown creasing Sonny’s brow did more explaining for him than his words needed to.

“Nah, nah, that’s not an option. I’ve been working real hard for this, real hard, and I don’t want to miss the final exam just because I fell down the goddamn stairs. Jesus.”

“Got shot,” Olivia corrected.

“However you wanna put it,” Sonny replied instantaneously. “Just. Please, I’m going to go mad in here with the five cable channels they’ve got, anyway. I need to do something with my time, and it mayaswell be somethin’ useful.”

Raising her hands in mock defeat, the lieutenant shook her head with a faint smile on her face. “Okay, I understand. Look, I’ll get Fin or Rollins to go over to yours and get your stuff sometime today. In the meantime, you should get some more rest before you think about doing anything academic.”

“Yeah, yeah. Promise.”

Moving to leave the room and give Sonny some space, Olivia looks expectantly at Rafael, still standing stoically by the foot of Sonny’s bed. And now, Sonny’s looking at him just as expectantly.

“Counsellor?” The lieutenant queried as she opened the door to Carisi’s room. To both of their surprises, Barba raised a hand up briefly.

“Give me a moment,” He murmured in Olivia’s direction in a way that would make shivers run down Sonny’s back if he weren’t so worried about twinging his shoulder wound. “I’ll be with you in a minute.”

And with a nod, the Lieutenant is gone. It’s just them, having an awkward, quiet stand-off in Carisi’s hospital room. Pity, because if he were in a better condition, Sonny would’ve made it a loud one.

At least the noise of him running his own mouth would take the edge of this situation, because now they’re alone, all he can hear is the thrum of blood in his ears and Sonny’s not a doctor but, y’know, he’s pretty sure that’s not a sign of his concussion. Unfortunately, things always got this way when they were in close proximity, and Carisi had been dismayed to notice it getting worse as time went on and they crossed each other's paths more frequently. What had started as an initial attraction when the A.D.A. had strolled into the precinct on his first day had developed into much more of a headache, which was even shittier when he now had an actual, splitting headache to contend with.

It was a sordid, shameful one-two punch of being both extremely attracted to someone in a physical sense and a professional sense, and for someone already feeling fairly sore, Sonny didn’t know if he could do this today.

“So I’m in trouble after all?” Sonny attempted to break the silence, a hand drifting towards his wounded shoulder. “Knew it.”

Barba ignored the deflection. “You’re really intending to sit the bar next week? In the condition you’re in?”

“Yeah? I mean, is that so hard to believe? I’m just a little roughed up is all.”

“Roughed up?” The counsellor repeated, his voice tinged with disbelief. “You were shot by an assailant. You have a head wound. And you think that putting yourself through a bar exam is the correct way to recover from that?”

With a sigh, Sonny sank back slightly into the pillows on the bed. “Look, I appreciate the concern, Counsellor, I really do. But I know you’ve worked really hard for things you’re not willing to give up on, even when the odds weren’t in your favour. Maybe it’s a dumb idea to assume I can think straight enough to pass the bar after hitting every stair on my way down, but I don’t want to… not try. I’ve put a lot into this, and I’m not givin’ up, not now. Not so close to the finish line.”

“It’s not giving up,” Barba said quietly, his gaze meeting squarely with Sonny’s in a way that makes him want to curl his toes. “It’s doing it later.”

“I’m doing it now.”

The detective’s response comes out much firmer than he’d intended - not in an aggressive way, but in a way that made Barba’s shoulders relax slightly, as if he knew the battle he was waging was a lost cause. Of course, there’s an expression the counsellor’s wearing that is absolutely inscrutable, though if Sonny had to guess, it would be that he clearly thinks he’s an idiot.

So, imagine his surprise when the corner of Rafael’s mouth quirked up into a half-smirk as he crossed his arms across his chest, a combination that made the breath catch in Sonny’s throat.

“Very well - then I suppose the least I can do is make sure you’re ready. Fordham Law needs all the help it can get.”

- and the jab at his school goes completely unnoticed as the detective all but gaped at the unsolicited offer of help from the guy he’d never ask it from, but the one he’d want it from the most.

Want, well, a lot of things from the most, but -

The door closes, signaling Barba’s departure, and Sonny simply sits there staring at it.