#Rachel regrets ever asking | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kooksbunnnn · 9 months ago

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Lost cause? 4: Can my happiness ever last?

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader

Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, makeout and kissing mentions, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks (TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+, This is purely a work of FICTION please take it as FICTION only. Therapy and psychological conversations. Tears, guilt, regret and hope maybe?

Word counts: 10.1k approx

Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you.

Authors note: Hello, my lovely readers, or should I call you all my bunnnnys? It sounds cute to me hehe, its a cute little name for my kooksbunnnn family, the readers who wait for me, love me, and read the stories I write. Thank you for waiting so patiently, ily guys. Here's chapter 4, I got a little carried away with words, hence the 10k 👉👈 sorry for the long wait once again, enjoy the chapter now. Bye-bye!

Previous chapter

___________________________________________

Seriously breathe louder Ross

You giggle watching an Instagram reel of a scene from friends where a pregnant Rachel snaps at Ross, who was just standing as you put another grape into your mouth from the container Jungkook packed for you with washed grapes.

As you scroll through the comments on the mentioned reel, you can't help but read some of the comments,

Comment: Rachel has such pretty hair.

True. You always wanted to try her hairstyles.

Comment: people should appreciate how the writers gave every female character a different kind of motherhood and different experiences, and it’s beautiful how they portrayed every feeling. Also, I can't imagine how one of them had a miscarriage in real.

Miscarriage. This word itself makes your body shiver with fear, and you immediately feel your throat get heavy. You shake your head at this and scroll further, not wanting to cry for the 6th time on the same day.

Comment: Being pregnant is a magical experience, sure, but it's a whole ass rollercoaster of emotions, and you won't be ready for the amount of mood swings that come with it.

Yea, No shit.

Comment: I love how Rachel had a character development nobody ever expected.

Mhm. True.

Comment: Can’t believe how they ended up together even after Ross cheated on her.

That got personal, guess it was time to delete Instagram.

Month 6 and a half, day 188 since that night and you’re surprisingly alive. The night your heart got broken and you didn't think you would make it through 2 months of life.

More like, you didn't think you could make it alone, without Jungkook. Technically? Yes, you couldn't live without seeing him or hearing him for the start of your pregnancy and now he is always around you.

Always around. Helping you sit, eat, drink, lie, puke, pee, and all this while being at his respectable distance from you.

“Cut yourself some slack, you're growing someone inside you. It's okay to be dependent while you're going through so much..” that's what your mom said when you asked her about your future and if it was a mistake going through with this.

Looking back to her advice from weeks ago you feel like you are being a little hard on yourself. Therapy. Sonograms. Lamaze classes, doctor appointments, morning-afternoon-evening sickness, hormones, mood swings, and whatnot. You feel excited for your baby to come into the world but would it be wrong if you said you were scared?

When you asked these questions to the people around you these were the answers:

Mom: “Yes honey, of course, it’s okay to be scared. Your life will change, and sometimes you feel like you won't know what you’re doing, but trust me having kids is a tiring but very beautiful experience.”

Dad: “Sweetie, it's completely normal. Your mom used to freak out a lot as well when she had you. We’re here for you, it's all gonna be okay.

Namjoon’s wife, Binna: “I have seen my sister go through it and I am gonna be honest, it is difficult and the delivery is gonna be tough but the results make it all worth it. I am so excited to start my family one day, too!”

Jin’s wife: “It's a little nerve-wracking, to be honest, but it's the best thing Y/N, trust me I have never cried harder than when I saw that my test results were not accurate, I was heartbroken. Trust me, this is the best thing that would happen to you.”

Namjoon, Jin, and Jimin in different words but similar contexts: “I don't know much about how you're feeling right now so I can't say I understand but trust me, I’ll be by your side and our dumb little brother’s side always. We’re a family, Y/N.”

Hobi and Taehyung came together while you and Jungkook were having dinner: We have seen our sisters and relatives go through pregnancy, and it honestly looks so overwhelming. We respect women more every day. We’re here always, just one call away.” They had said with smiles on their faces.

Yoongi: “I am not good with words or comforting people, Y/N, but I just wanna assure you that I am always here. All of us will be there for you both. It's not gonna be easy for you, mentally or body-wise, but never feel alone. You’re our family and always will be, no matter what.” He said, patting you like you were a kid while Jungkook sniffled sitting by your side in your sitting area.

The most common advice everyone gave was: Be easy with yourself, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You’re going through a lot.

And it was true. You and Jungkook have been working on your relationship’s progress ever since your first session, and somehow it was going pretty well. You had dinner together and he made sure he attended the sonography sessions and therapy sessions with you.

You had regular sessions together and Ms. Shin recommended you both try talking about the future ahead. No definite planning, just talking about the options.

Wall paints, cradles, toys, shopping, diaper brands, baby food, everything you could see in the future around your baby. Since the biggest reason for fixing your relationship was because of your baby, you needed to familiarize yourself sitting around talking about the little person gluing you both together.

So you both decided to have dinner together daily and decided to make a pre-baby diary while eating. Yes, it was Jungkook’s idea. It's been 8 days since the last therapy session and you have already listed the paint options for the baby’s room, went maternity clothes shopping with your husband and browsed some cradle options.

All was well, right?

On the outside, yes. In your ovaries? No.

The lingering attraction you so badly tried to avoid for the past week is still lingering in the air around you. You roll your eyes as you feel embarrassment creep up your neck at how dumb you have been behaving around your husband.

You feel emotional, horny and everything at once. Absolutely mental.

♡♡♡

“I don't think I am normal anymore.”

The therapist watches you utter the sentence with a manic like chuckle. She must be thinking you're insane. You notice how her hand freezes for a mini second and then continues to pass you the glass filled with water.

“My question, however, Mrs Jeon, was how did your weekend shopping go, but you can still go on. Why would you think such a thought?” Your therapist calmly asks you after waiting for your response to her earlier question for a good minute.

You finally take the glass of water in her hand stretched towards you after muttering a low ‘thankyou’.

After what happened with you and Jungkook and his damn damp hair, you were freaking out. One moment you were feeling like you could cry out of embarrassment but the next moment you wanted to make out with him in the kitchen while he wore his white dress shirt and those grey joggers you always loved.

Okay. You know this is weird, hence the embarrassment. Duh?! Earlier you weren't able to control the urges you felt, the mood swings, the craving, and now?! This fucking arousal.

You made an appointment with your doctor as soon as you woke up the following morning, hoping she would prescribe some pills or any kind of medications to reduce the arousal you felt but it didn’t help you much because there was no way of completely avoiding that.

The doctor didn’t suggest you take the pills that might’ve helped you because you already had a lot of mood swings and anxiety episodes, those pills could’ve worsened them. She makes sense, a lot of sense but only when you thought about it with a cool head.

But at that moment, while she was telling you all that? It's just safe to say you can grit your anger in between your teeth.

Now you were sitting in front of your therapist hoping she would help you reverse the psychology or something which would help you not feel horny for your husband.

‘Your husband who betrayed you and was now trying to make up for what he did which you were okay with and hoping for everything to be better one fucking day ago but now you feel like you wanna kiss him so badly it makes you dizzy’

It was like a mantra, hecheatedhecheatedhecheated, so that you don't pull him in to kiss the shit out of his cute little face.

When you say the same things you thought, your therapist nodded her head noting something down in her notepad. Maybe she thought you were mental.

“Mrs Jeon, I would suggest you control your sexual urges towards your husband by trying to remove yourself from the room he’s in. Considering he doesn’t sleep with you, but if he does-“ but you cut her sentence in the middle by whispering quickly in his defense.

“No-no he doesn't, he sleeps outside in the lobby.” You shake your head not making eye contact, feeling somehow guilty of your husband's daily discomfort.

“And it's completely okay, Mrs. Jeon, to have your space and have some distance. It doesn't make you a bad person.”

Damn, she is good. You need to give her great ratings. You look up at her and watch as she nods her head with a small smile making you feel at ease.

“Did you talk about this issue with Mr. Jeon?” She asks you, and you shake your head slightly. Why do you feel guilty, and what do you feel guilty of most importantly? Nodding to your reaction, she says, “Would you like to discuss why?”

“Would that even change anything?” You say with a huff a second after she finishes her sentence, frustration evident on your face.

Shrugging she says, “It might make things clearer..” her eyes slowly crinkled due to her hair falling in her eyes. Flicking it away she looks at you slightly tilting her head. “Isn't this what you chose, Mrs Jeon? Being honest is what your relationship needs at this point, isn’t it?

Sighing you realize how you might be running away from things, after all, you chose this journey. You both did and somehow you feel you might be turning into an obstacle towards a better family life, yourself.

Turning your head towards the plant in the room’s corner, you speak with a distant voice, “I don't know, All that I have gathered from the problems I have had in my life is that I could win any kind of battle if it were against my mind but if it's my heart I am fighting against? It's a fucking lost cause.”

“What do you think is the reason you would be fighting your heart, Mrs jeon?”

You scoff whipping your head towards her, eyes glistening. Digging your nails before saying what you feel just on the tip of your tongue,

“I love him.”

There's a pause, followed by your therapist humming.

“I love him so much I wanna forgive him and try to make things better but..”

“But..?”

Another pause. A suffocating one.

“I can't seem to do that to myself or my kid. What kind of an example would I be if I give in to something that's not right?!” After you notice how your expressions change into a frustrated scowl in the tiny mirror behind your therapist's head you feel your tears start to fall off.

“I am sorry.” You say sniffling and somehow embarrassed of your feelings taking over you.

“It's okay, Mrs. Jeon, here..” she offered you the tissue kept on her desk, and you wiped your tears chuckling at your situation.

How did your life get to where it was? You have no absolute fucking clue.

♡♡♡

You wince minutely when you reminisce how your last session went with Ms. Shin.

One moment you were crying because you can't forget the night he told you that he cheated on you and one moment you cried because you wanna hug him and then cry into his chest about how your hormones wanted you to kiss him but you can't because then you would cry about how you shouldn't be feeling like this about someone who betrayed you, then again you cry because you can't forget how he betrayed you.

It's like a frustrating cycle. A cycle you wanna throw off of a freaking dam to let it drown and maybe rust when the water starts to break the metal. Maybe that would help break it because there was no way in hell you could succeed in breaking it.

Not to mention how you have to pee every minute of the day and then crave pickles with some honey on them while sitting on the toilet seat.

Sounds tasty, right? Yeah, you shake your head in a quick no too as soon as you step outside and think how pickles would rather taste better with peanut butter on it.

As you deal with your tears and the spasmodic hand stomping on the pillow or table around you to let go of the kissy-kissy thoughts in your head, your husband stays clueless.

Not clueless about the hormones, na-ah.

Just the fact that you stare at him before you slap your hand on the table, or thump down the cup on the table too harshly for anyone to not notice. He tried to ask you if you felt okay. But ended up getting yelled at for not leaving you alone.

You once yelled at him for leaving the windows open which you asked to be left open, saying he should’ve known better when to close them.

This looks cute in shows and movies of how cute the mother-to-be looks yelling at a clueless husband but you on the other hand feel bad for making him feel actually at fault when he has been trying his best to make you feel comfortable.

What does he do after getting yelled at? He apologizes, does what you asked or yelled at him to do, and leaves. He still comes back and eats the dinner your mother made with you and your dad helping her out.

You feel terrible for how you are behaving around him, the worst part being that he takes everything you do and say to him without even reacting ever so slightly. You tried living life with him normally but you can’t forget the thought that lingers in the back of your head; that the favorite part of living your life with him was the affection, the touches.

It's frustrating to say the least that you haven't even hugged him in the last few months, you know that there is a reason behind the distance but since your mind tells you to create boundaries and try things again, your heart doesn’t understand how someone could try to make things better from a distance. Especially you and Jungkook.

He did everything according to how you needed without you telling him. Your childhood therapist once told you no matter how perfect a person tried to be there are certain situations where you can’t control the things the universe decides for you. She said that when you were having trouble accepting that you were the reason one of your ex-best friends changed schools, stating that you made her feel insecure. You had no idea.

So you accepted your fate, then and now as well. Doing things as they go in the flow. You had a discussion with your parents about how you are supposed to be having dinner with Jungkook as advised by your therapist so your mom and dad eat their dinner by 7 o’clock as advised by their doctors while you accompany them by having your soup or tea.

They thought it was a good idea so you agreed to do it.

By 9 o’clock or quarter to 9 Jungkook enters and you have your dinner and the discussion you are supposed to have about the baby.

It has been 15 minutes since your mom and dad went to their room after insisting on sitting with you while you wait for Jungkook to be back. You have your phone in your hand which starts to buzz with Jungkook’s name on the screen with the bunny emoji.

Picking up with a smile you answer to his voice.

God, you missed him.

Yep, you said it.

Picking up he seems like he is on the way and is trying to get his phone back from someone. “Hyung give me my phone back, hold his hands Yoongi hyung, hey-!” yes he was snatching his phone back.

You can hear a bunch of yelling noises in the background and you recognize the screaming voice immediately, Jimin. You shake your head at the chaos and smile putting a grape in your mouth.

“Hey, Y/N I am sorry I am a little late, I just wanted to ask if it's okay with me to bring Jimin and Yoongi Hyung over to your parent's house we have a bit of a situation on our hands.”

“Yeah, of course, kook, it's okay. Is everything okay though?”

Silence.

“Hello?”

“What did you call me?”

Your eyes widen at how you didn't even realize how normal this felt to you. You haven't called him Kook ever since you cried in his car after your first therapy session, always walking on eggshells.

“Y/N?”

Courage. Squeezing your fist and eyes shut you say,

“I called you k-kook. Is that not okay?”

Your leg starts to shake not knowing what to say next.

“No! Fuck, I mean it's more than okay. You know what? Let's not talk about it I don't wanna jinx it.” You can hear him smile and you can't help but widen your smile. It has been so long since you smiled this wide and you somehow feel better.

You repeat the words in your head, Don't feel guilty Y/N, go with it. Go with the flow. Cut yourself some slack. You’re going through a lot, be easy on yourself.

You smile and hear him chuckle before-

“Oh, no hyung not in my car ugh, we’ll be there in 5 minutes Y/N, I’ll reheat the food when I get there don't worry. Yoongi Hyung push his head out the window please-” And he hangs up.

Smiling at the chaotic phone call, you get up to check on your mom and dad if they are still up, wanting to tell them about the guests coming over. But since they were soundly asleep with the nightlights on, you switch them off, regulate the fan's speed, and take the phone from your sleeping-snoring mom’s hand plugging it to the charger and checking if they had water around them.

After checking up on your parents you close the door to their room and walk towards the kitchen to drink some water. Even the small activities could make a pregnant lady tired and the jug in your room was empty so you walked slowly towards the fridge. The pain getting better but still evident in your lower back which makes you put a hand on your back while you open the refrigerator.

Suddenly you spot a Harley bike model Jungkook gifted your father when he came home to meet your parents for the first time. Your father was really happy seeing the model, him being a Harley fan. If age didn't play a role in life your father would've still been traveling with your mom like those couples you saw in uni.

You remember how you and Jungkook loved to travel on his bike, you holding onto him as if your life depended on it, hair flowing from under the helmet and him accelerating the bike through the streets, hills, and empty roads leading to the cabin the whole group planned to visit during his and Namjoon’s collective birthday celebration.

Damn, you were so in love. Still are, and will probably always be.

The group has always been there for you, they're like the family you never knew you needed until they came into your life. The chaos was a part of your life, the screams, the teasing, the weekend game nights, the celebrations, movie nights which turned into everybody and their girlfriends crashing in the lobby on the mattresses Jungkook bought for the night stays.

You remember what the situation was when you met him for the first time six years ago.

♡♡♡

“Damnit Tae, jump outta here.” You argue with Taehyung as the three of you look out the window of your room.

“Fuck no. Are you mental? I’ll die if I jump out of here.” Taehyung says whisper yelling at your roommate, Aera, who rolls her eyes at her dramatic “friend” panicking with wide eyes.

“No, you won't, don’t be dramatic.” You scoff as you push him slightly in the windows direction.

“It's a whole ass floor Y/N, the fuck is wrong with you?” He scowls at you as he regains balance panicking.

“Maybe we should call Jungkook.”

“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook with that loud-ass bike? Nice. Sneaking a boy out of our room with the help of another boy. Fan-fucking-tastic, Taehyung.” You clap two times with a straight face.

“Guys,” your friend giggles as she tries to focus on the main topic in the room, while Taehyung goes back to sit on your roommate’s bed.

“I think he is right, Y/N, we could at least get help from JK.”

“Mhm, help in getting kicked out.” You mumble not so quietly earning yourself a middle finger from Taehyung and an eyeroll from Aera.

“Fine, do whatever you want.” You say rolling your eyes.

The thing was you were only partly nervous because of your forced eviction but also because you had never met Jungkook, the campus crush. More like the crush of every girl who saw him on his bike. You were not one of them, at least you wouldn't admit that but you wouldn't deny that he was a pretty face to look at and a very hot piece of ass to stare at. The proportions of that man were totally insane.

Tiny waist, big- biteable chest, broad shoulders, thick thighs, luscious hair locks, biceps people could hang on, the all-black outfit, and the very contrasting facial features. If he wore a helmet people wouldn't imagine how the guy had big doe boba eyes and a cute mole under his lips, skin better than half of the girls who spent so much on products. He always had that glint in his eyes making him seem so innocent, innocent but with a physique that can crush people.

You never talked to him so you don't know how he sounds or if he is a rude person. You just know he is Taehyung’s friend whom he hangs out with around the campus.

While you thought about how Jungkook might or might not be your crush, Taehyung called him and you all got up to sneak him out of the house.

“Wait you don't need to come if you don't want to Y/N,” Aera said after looking around the hallways and telling Taehyung to tiptoe downstairs since her aunt’s room was on the same floor as yours.

“H-Huh? N-no I wanna go as well. So that if she wakes up I can tell her we both went out to get some fresh air while the guys ran away y-you know? “

You said. Terrible at lying. You wanted to see the man coming to save his friend.

Your friend was in a hurry sneaking her fuck buddy out so she didn't pay attention to what you said and how you said it. A total stuttering mess.

Walking out of the house you never imagined him to be so..so..so tasty. Thats the only words that come to your mind. He parked his bike at a safe distance because of how much noise it made and approached you guys.

The image in your hand was like the 480p version of how beautiful and ethereal he was but in reality, he had tattoos. Tattoos! Not even a small one, a whole arm that stretched inside his white sleeveless tee.

You thanked the cloth gods for making this particular article of clothing because you needed to see how hot men you would want to eat up looked in it.

“Told you, you would need my help.” He smirks as Taehyung walks past him only turning around to come back and give Aera a quick kiss and then running away again, making her blush.

“Run dumbass, their landlord would skewer us on her cane,” Taehyung says and you chuckle at how exaggerated he made Aera’s aunt sound. At your chuckle, Jungkook looks at you and you pause mid-laugh when you notice him looking at you.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He extends his hand towards you and you blush not knowing how to respond to his raspy voice.

“Yeah, I know you.” You say staring at him with heat on your cheeks and immediately kick yourself mentally.

You sound like a fucking creep. I know you? seriously?

He smiles, “..and you are..?

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to be rude I’m Y/N, Hi heh.” You extend your hand to shake his and he whispers your name under his breath eyes still looking into yours.

“Hi Y/N, you’re very pretty.” While he rubs his thumb on your already heating skin making it burst into flames as he rubs it again.

“Kook!” Taehyung yells and you break the eye contact, taking your hand back.

“It's okay don't be sorry, I didn't find you rude rather, I found you cute.” He says as you look at him again. You think it was an imagination of your beauty-struck head or maybe it was due to dark but..did he just check you out?

You give him a confused look at what he said, making him chuckle. He sounds so deliciously hot and raspy. God.

“That you know who I am, considering how you’re always in the art studio. I found it cute.” He says with a smile leaning slightly towards your face and you lean back at the same time he leans in. He stays towering over you and maybe notices your expressions. You just hope he didn't notice how red your cheeks might be.

Does he know about the art studio? Only people close to you knew about it.

Seeing your wide eyes, he straightens up to his original height and chuckles. He sounds so good, it reaches inside you and you knew that you were fucked.

“Kook?” You didn't even notice when Taehyung came back to drag his friend back. Slapping his shoulder and then sprinting towards the bike again.

“Kook, let's go. She switched on some kind of light in her room oh god. She’ll beat your and my asses collectively.” Taehyung yells waving his friends over.

“Hey we’re gonna be in the beat party as well, Y/N lets go,” Aera speaks from the driveway of her aunt's house, slowly retrieving her steps.

But you were stuck. Stuck on how his bunny teeth played with the piercing on his lips. Not being able to bear eye contact with him, you flicked your eyes away.

When Taehyung yelled again from a distance, Jungkook responded with a ‘yea yea coming’ while stepping backward with his white sleeveless tee sticking to his body.

Generally, you didn't like summers but you were so glad it was hot enough that he decided to wear a sleeveless outfit, for you to ogle his tattoos.

Taehyung and Aera were already away from the both of you, Taehyung at a safer distance from the house and Aera still waiting for you at the house hoping her aunt just woke up for her nightly washroom trips and didn't see you guys with these beautiful men.

With a smile on his face, he stepped back facing you. Clicking his tongue twice to get your attention, you looked at him to immediately regret locking eyes with him. He winked at you and said, “See you around, sweetheart.”

You swear you saw his eyes flitting to your lips and then to your skirt that was flowing with the slight wind in the surroundings before he turned around and ran towards his panicking friend.

You knew he was casually flirting and was out of your league. And since you didn't believe your luck would suddenly turn out to be on your side you didn't think of his wink as something more than something casual.

But goddamnit, the crush you never admitted to, was finally admitted in your heart.

♡♡♡

You smile as you pick the model in your hand at the fond memories of how you tried so hard to remain just friends with the guy even though he hung out with you daily, accompanied you in your art studio confirming he knew about you before meeting you. You never knew your friendship could be more than what it was but maybe growing up and getting jobs made you want to prioritize yourself and your wants, so you decided to tell him how you felt but he beat you to it three days before you planned on confessing.

“Sorry sweetheart, wanted to kiss you as my girlfriend on Valentine's Day without the fear of rejection in the back of my brain.” That's what he said before he kissed the living daylights out of you on the gazebo at your favorite park.

You smile remembering how he took you to the park saying the cherry blossoms were blooming early that year, you believed him nodding with excitement and you went along with him running and holding hands. Reaching there you were sad that no blossoms were blooming but then he gave you the promise ring he ordered from the vintage store you loved so much. You knew it cost him a lot but when you asked him about it he just chuckled deeply avoiding that question and before you could pick that topic again he kneeled on one knee and asked you to be his girlfriend officially.

You smile at the memories and keep the bike model back on the shelf, the flashback coming to a halt as you come back to the living room when your phone buzzes with your husband's name on it.

He didn't ring the doorbell nowadays to be cautious in case your parents were asleep. So you went to the door and opened it already expecting Jimin leaning on Jungkook’s shoulders while Yoongi just snickered at his younger brother, seeming unconscious but Jimin was very much awake, also very very drunk as he clung to Yoongi telling him everything was going to be okay. Jungkook held three bags as he gave you a sheepish smile at his Hyungs’ behavior.

“Yes, Yes, Jimin. It's gonna be okay.” Yoongi held Jimin very firmly while giving you a small smile before asking where to put him so that he could blubber nonsense somewhere your neighbors wouldn't hear.

Jungkook chuckles and leads them to the guest room while muttering a ‘hi’, looking at you from head to toe as if checking if you had any injuries.

“Hi,” you whisper, enough for him to catch your voice.

“How was your day?” You ask trying to take the bags from his hand but he tilts his body giving you a look that says ‘Really?’.

Sighing with a smile, you close the door and follow him inside.

“It was good- Oh shit the guest room door is locked. Wait hyung let me get the key” he put the bags on the counter while a grunting Yoongi held a wobbly Jimin in his hands.

“Wow realized it so soon,” Yoongi says sarcastically l as Jimin looks at you with a smile on his face. Gasping dramatically, he removes himself from his brother's shoulders and comes towards you, slightly tilted, but he somehow reaches you.

“I can see your baby.” Your eyes widen at what he said and you scoff a laugh as Jimin kneels down in front of your belly.

“He means you’re showing, and he is noticing that now, only, he sounds creepy as fuck.” Yoongi walks back to the sofa and sits down with a long sigh.

“May I please?” He says as hovers his hands over your belly with big puppy eyes and you chuckle at how patiently he wants you to answer.

“Yes, Jimin you may.” You say with a laugh and he whispers to your tummy hovering his hand above it like it's a crystal ball.

“Hi tiny person, I am Jimin, your godfather..” he giggles at the end of his sentence while you hear Yoongi chuckle from the couch.

“The fuck? When did we decide that hyung?” Jungkook stands next to you with keys hanging from his fingers, narrowed gaze focused on his elder brother.

“Shhhhhh” Jimin shushes Jungkook loudly almost spitting on your belly. You laugh as he looks pointedly at Jungkook.

“You don’t get to decide that. Dumbass.” Jimin slurs out and tries to get up grabbing the trousers Jungkook wore, almost making him fall over with his weight.

“Hyung, fuck you’re heavy when drunk.”

“I fucking know right? I don’t know how that happens..” Yoongi mumbles typing something on his phone, stretching his neck sideways to pop the strained muscle.

Jungkook stumbles while you also try to help him balance Jimin by bending slightly to keep a hand on his shoulders, but then you remove it as Jungkook whispers ‘I got him I got him’ assuringly not wanting you to take any strain.

Smiling to yourself you walk over to the couch adjacent to where Yoongi was sitting, asking if he needed water or anything like that.

“Nah I’m good. Thanks.” He waves his hand as he keeps his phone aside watching how Jungkook manages to drag Jimin back.

“...You’ll look good in a tutu as well..” Jimin says to Jungkook poking a finger to his sides continuously. “You know a white one with stars on it, I’ll gift it to the baby so that you can match your outfits then” Jungkook rolls his eyes in annoyance as Jimin’s voice fades into the guest room Jungkook opens for him to sleep in.

“Let me go check up on him yeah?” Yoongi says softly getting up from the couch, picking up a banana on the way to the guest room. Raising one of his brows and the fruit in the air as if asking for permission to eat it. You tilt your head with narrowed eyes passing on the message, ‘You have to ask?’

He smiles slightly shrugging and heads towards the guest room while pealing the banana.

“Jungkook, is he under control now or still wobbly- oh, fuck no-“ Yoongi asks from outside of the room but then pauses in his tracks as you hear Jungkook whine slightly out of disgust and you immediately get up feeling a slight ache in your lower back due to the hurry.

“Is everything okay?” You ask concern evident in your eyes.

Yoongi chuckles and moves away from the door, shaking his head. “Not gonna eat this now, sorry, Y/N.” He says, still laughing.

“Oh no did he-“Before you could say something Jungkook stomps his way out of the guest room and you immediately feel nausea entering you seeing your husband's sleeve covered in vomit.

“Hyung could you please help me heat the food? I’m gonna go take a shower, sorry hyungie just please-“ he continues walking towards the common bathroom at the end of the hall.

“Sure” Yoongi chuckles moving towards the fridge.

“I’ll help you..” you take a step towards the crockery cupboard.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll do it, you sit.” He says pausing you midway.

“No Yoongi lemme help..” you say but he just points the small spoon towards the island chair.

“It's okay Y/N I’ll do it.” He says nodding while opening the Tupperware filled with the various side dishes and the tofu-miso stew.

“I just don't wanna trouble you Yoongi, thanks though.” You say giving up on offering help as he heats the food one by one in the microwave.

“Oh it's not for free, I am taking the godfather’s title in exchange for this.” He smirks glancing at the room Jimin slept in.

“Yeah okay, try beating Jimin for the title. You chuckle looking in the same direction for a second and then at the man heating up the food. While he just gives you a small laugh while warming up the rice in the cooker, mumbling, “We’ll see who wins.”

You smile and pat your feet on the ground in a rhythm as Yoongi places the food on the kitchen island. You feel guilty for making him do this but he has already rejected your help three times so there was no point in arguing over it.

“Y/N?” Yoongi whispers looking at a plate in his hand.

“Yea?”

“I know it's none of my business and I should not even say something about this but can I just say it's really nice that you’re trying again?” He says lifting his head to look at your reaction to what he said.

You feel yourself freeze, this is the first time you had a conversation about your situation with Jungkook, the cheating, and the decision to try again. You sure talked about the pregnancy and yes there was always that lingering awkwardness in the air but this was new.

“Yea..” you sigh looking at your lap for a second and then lifting your head to give him a soft smile.

“Not everyone is lucky enough to get a chance to revive their relationship.” He says still looking at the plate while tracing the pattern on it with his index finger.

You know that his relationship ended badly, you knew how much he loved his girlfriend, you know he acts like it's okay but his dark circles tell another story, you know he looks thin and exhausted all the time but acts like it's nothing.

You know it's not nothing.

“Yoongi, I am sorry about-“But before you could finish your sentence he laughs almost in pain.

“It's okay Y/N, it's done, she is gone. She is happy without me and I can't change that.” He says and you feel your heart break at how small he sounds.

“It sucks but it's true.” He says softly, half to you half to himself, still trying to process his grief over the relationship he lost. After an uncomfortable pause, he continues.

“I saw him Y/N,” he points his chin in the direction of the washroom Jungkook was taking a shower in when you look at him confused at the change of topic.

“..and don't think I am taking his side 'cause he is like a brother to me but I say this honestly, he was devastated while he was away from you.” You just stare at him with eyes round and wide not expecting this conversation to go this way.

“He forgot to eat and sleep, just kept asking Jin Hyung and me if we saw you or if any other of guys saw you.” He says while you look at him nervously talking about the topic, picking his nails.

“Do you remember the time you were at the hospital due to your abdominal pain?” You nod at his question feeling your throat tighten up uncomfortably so you divert your gaze down at the plate with little blue flowers printed on the ceramic.

“He ran to the hospital since his car was still parked at your previous address.” Your eyes widen and you whip your head toward the man standing in front of you.

What does he mean he ran?

“What?” You whisper.

“Taehyung had a night shift and he was alone at the apartment. I tried to tell him to wait for me to pick him up when he called to ask if Taehyung left office or not, but he just hung up saying it would take too long.”

“So he ran to you.” You feel your throat tighten as humanly possible, eyes burning.

Wasn’t Taehyung’s house almost double times the way compared to your route connecting your house to the hospital? You can't even comprehend how he felt when you didn't even talk to him that day.

Shouldn’t you feel like he deserved to feel like that? Shouldn't you say that he did that to himself? That was what you should've said right? But your heart thumps harder every second making your eyes spill the tears gathering in them.

You remember Jungkook was really out of breath and was also wearing different slippers that day.

“Since it was pretty late, he couldn't even book a cab quickly..” Yoongi looks at you and notices how your gaze is zeroed onto him and immediately understands your expressions.

“Hey, I am not trying to make you feel bad or something like that, what he did and what you guys decided is totally none of my business but I just wanted to tell you that giving a second chance is not easy and I really wish things work out for your relationship. I really appreciate you both working through so much stress you know? I can see what his vision meant when he wanted to quit last month.”

“What?” You whisper

“No no, he doesn't want to quit now, I mean after what you both decided Namjoon talked to Mr. Park and handled it..” when Yoongi doesn’t see you respond to whatever he said he realizes that you look lost.

“You don't know, do you?”

“Don't know what?” You whisper again, heart racing. Why do you feel you're not gonna like what he is gonna say?

There is a pause, a very uncomfortable pause. He visibly scans your face and inhales sharply as if deciding against or in favor of telling you about the whole situation.

You clench your pajama pants into your fists as your hand rests on your lap. The kitchen felt stuffy all of a sudden. This might seem like an overreaction but your body feels defensive all of a sudden, deciding between running away or ripping the bandaid off.

Deciding on the latter you ask,

“Yoongi, please tell me?” You request softly and at your almost inaudible request, Yoongi sighs, giving up. He shuts his eyes for a second and then looks up smiling sadly at you.

You hold your breath.

“Um, he was promoted to be the next VP of the agency, and uh..” he rubs the back of his neck looking away, avoiding the eye contact with you.

“And he rejected it?” You whisper and Yoongi nods, still not looking at you.

“The job required him to give more time into his job, more hours away from home. From you and her.” He looks at you and then points his chin in your tummy’s direction.

“So when they told him the details about the hours and the business trips, he immediately refused. Since he was the most eligible person for the job, the CEO, Mr Park..” he says,

“Mr. Park.” You say at the same time nodding.

“Yes, Mr. Park tried convincing him saying he’ll adjust according to your due date and whatever changes Kook would want to his schedule but this kid..” Yoongi chuckles shaking his head, “..rejected it, saying if he had to quit the job he would do it but he would not add onto whatever hours he was working.”

“Then suddenly..” Yoongi picks up a tangerine from the fruit bowl and starts peeling it.

“He came up with an idea of actually quitting in order to give more time to you and your child, so when Namjoon said and I quote, ‘Y/N is gonna kill you if you do that, she knows how much you worked for this’ Jungkook said that you both decided mutually that rejecting the promotion was okay and you were okay with whatever he decided about his job. Which…looking at you right now doesn't seem like it.” Yoongi looks at you with a hesitant expression, offering you the peeled fruit.

You feel your ears heat up and not out of good reason, you are actually mad at him. You were hearing all of this for the first time and you can't believe he backed off from the job he got offered after working so hard. The reason he used to work his ass off, extra time, no holidays, always punctual, not caring about his meals and whatnot, and then just fucking backed off?

"When was this?" You say gritting your teeth, eyes glistening with angry tears, eyes still on Yoongi.

You take the piece of fruit from his hand and shove it in your mouth, eyes red with tears in them.

“Y/N..”

“Why didn't he tell me? And wait a minute he said it was a mutual decision?! What the hell?”

“Y/N, he must have had a reason for saying so, he did explain the reasons and it sounded like he gave it a lot of thought. “

“Don’t you mean WE gave it a lot of thought? hah.” You say chuckling bitterly, swallowing the fruit, your hand going through your hair in frustration as you face the direction where your husband showers unaware of the angry volcano on the other side of the bathroom door.

“What the hell is wrong with him?!” You almost scream but lower your voice remembering your parents are asleep, immediately looking around warily and Yoongi does the same, with similar expressions on his face.

“Sorry, I just feel so mad right now.” You say squeezing your eyes shut, speaking through your teeth.

“I guess you should talk to him,” he says looking at you softly.

“You’re damn right I will-“ you say

“But not now, privately, okay?”

You look at him breathing heavily, cheeks wet with tears, his eyes pleading to not lose your calm immediately. You look at his anger and countless emotions swirling in your mind, nose flaring.

“Ah, okay fine.” You say throwing your hands in frustration, coming back to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

The next few minutes Yoongi tried not to talk about anything and you just swirled your spoon in the spoon Yoongi served for you. He constantly made sure you were sipping the soup, giving you water, and peeling another tangerine for you.

He almost sighed in relief when the bathroom door clicked open and Jungkook came out of the washroom. The steam rushed out of the white-tiled space along with a drippy Jungkook and a goddamned towel around his waist.

You feel madder now. Is that even a word? You don't care because that's how you feel. Madder.

Remember when you said how your emotions were on a roll these days? Yea. It was an understatement because the moment you saw your husband with that damned towel hanging low on his hips your anger turned into angry horniness, you wished, only for a second, but wished Yoongi wasn't here so that you could straddle the half-naked guy and ask him about the stupid decision he made.

Although Jungkook had immediately rushed into the room to get some clothes on him it was enough to make your ovaries light up on fire. You're mad and horny, two things that don't go well for you. Especially not in this state.

"Hey guys I am sorry, I had to wash off all that puke stench. Why didn't you guys start eating yet?"

"I don't know maybe you took very long to shower." You snap at your husband and he freezes in his tracks to get the plate.

"Y/N, I was there for only 10 mins."

“I don't know, felt like 10 years."aAt your tone Jungkook looks at you concerned and then at Yoongi who watches awkwardly, the whole scene unfolding in front of him.

"Guys you know what I think I am gonna head home, I have eaten with Jimin earlier and need sleep."

“No- yoongi eat please-“ you request feeling guilty for making him awkward.

“Yes hyung, please finish your dinner.” Jungkook says, looking at his hyung but then flicking his gaze back at you.

“No no its really okay.” Yoongi says, already walking away from the island.

"Okay, hyung." He says after a second his eyes wandering back to you observing your sour mood. Eyebrows furrowed with thought while you just chewed on the rice mixed with the curry not looking at Jungkook after waving to Yoongi.

Yoongi walks towards the doorway with slow steps, the footsteps echoing along with the tinkled spoon made inside the curry bowl. He grabs the keys and walks towards the two of you, giving you a nod and patting Jungkook’s back.

"Take care Y/N and you too, kook." He stares two seconds longer at the younger male and then nods at him. Jungkook gets up halfway to which Yoongi waves in a signal for Jungkook to not bother seeing him off.

The door clicks shut leaving you and Jungkook in silence.

"Y/N wha-"

"Eat, Jungkook."

At your stern tone, Jungkook flinches and just resumes eating in silence. Silence for almost 10 minutes. 10 slow and irritating minutes. It was like the clock ticked 10 seconds forward and then 40 seconds backward. The silence added to the awkwardness you both felt, making the time more unbearable.

Again, did you mention slow?

All the thoughts come back to your mind, every emotion holding your neck in a chokehold, everything that you’ve felt since the day started comes back. The conversation with your mom about how she asked you if you wanted to move back in with ever, you thought your mom wanted you to leave so you cried. All the emotions you felt then catching up to you.

The thoughts of being alone with him made you happy and cry at the same time in the afternoon while you finished working on the report your seniors asked you to finish before your leave started. You feel all the emotions you felt while rewatching the notebook in the evening before dinner. You feel all the emotions at once, those emotions which you felt when Jungkook called you from his car and, also when he called you from his office to check if you had your medicine.

The emotions of frustration and anger when Yoongi told you about the job offer and how your husband rejected it. The thoughts about something bad happening to your child come back and make your head dizzy. It's too much at the same time. You're happy that he is eating his food in silence because if he did say anything before you finish, you might actually run to the bathroom to vomit all of your emotions.

After minutes of frustration and anger and sadness and silence, you finally got up and almost threw the plate in the sink, Jungkook tried to get your plate but you just brushed past him huffing finally making Jungkook ask you the question you didn't want to hear and hear at the same time.

You wanted to talk to him about the whole thing and didn't at the same time. You were on an emotional rollercoaster, and Jungkook was gonna be the bird that hit the coaster blades, getting hurt.

"Y/N did I do something wrong?"

"Oh, do you do anything right these days Jungkook? I don't think so." You chuckle throwing the glass of water into the sink thankfully not breaking it.

Turning towards your husband, you immediately regret saying what you said because he just looks like a kicked puppy. Big eyes filled with gloss, nose red, and wobbly chin. His features make you feel like the worst human being on this planet.

"Y/N, I am sorry for whatever it is but can you tell me what's wrong?" He whispers looking- no, pleading with his eyes as you stand like a wall in front of him.

"You tell me, did you do anything to make me feel stupid and pathetic recently?" You say pointedly. Venom. Pure venom.

"Baby.."

"Don’t. Don't call me that." You say firmly.

"Shit- I am sorry Y/N please tell me what happened..wait-" You push yourself away from the counter instantly feeling the pain in your lower back.

“Bab- Y/N wait.” He rushes to your side holding one of your hands and one holding your waist, giving you support but somehow his touch stings, in the best way. You hate your mind and heart. You just hate it.

“No, I can walk myself I am not a toddler.” He doesn't let go of your hand even though you tell him to, he helps you walk towards your room. You try to tell him that you can walk alone but he doesn't listen instead he just hums or mutters 'I know' and it infuriates you more.

Why isn’t he saying anything? You’re literally acting like a spoiled kid right now.

Opening the door he walks you inside the room and helps you sit on the bed. As you take heavy breaths placing a hand on your chest you feel how rapidly your heart raced.

Removing the lid of the glass sitting on your nightstand, he helps you sip some of the liquid. You feel tears in your eyes and when he removes the glass from your lips he just smiles sadly at you and wipes the tears from your face with his thumb.

Leaning into his touch you say, "Why are you okay with me being like this to you?"

Okay, that's a dumb question ask Jeon Y/N, you're mad at him but just looking at him you feel like you are treating him like shit for something he doesn't deserve. Of course, he cheated on you, of course, you want to not love him because of that, and of course, your heart aches when you think of the betrayal but can you ever unlove him? Can you ever hurt him knowing you're gonna hurt him and not feel bad? Can you ever just look at him and feel nothing for him? Can you ever not love him?

Your head feels buzzed and when he speaks and your anger explodes.

"I deserve it, baby." You scrunch his t-shirt in your hand and pull him towards you, making him almost fall on you but he regains his balance by placing one of his hands on the comforter. With wide eyes, he just stares at you and the way your eyes brim with fresh tears. He tilts his head as if feeling guilty for the tears but you don't let him say anything.

"Why?" At this he looks at you confused.

The other tattooed hand finds its way on top of your wrist holding his t-shirt and you feel your sanity fly away for a second but at his confused expression, you feel your anger come back.

"Y/N what-" he sputters with big eyes

"Why did you reject the job offer?" you finally say.

Pin. Drop. Silence.

"What?" he breathes out.

"You think you can make that big of a decision by yourself? " you say sniffling.

"How did you-"

"How did I know? How about, why didn't I know?" You raise your voice slightly, and he shuts the door so that your parents don't get their sleep interrupted, tilting slightly towards the entrance, your bed not being that far from the door.

"Y/N I am sorr-" you cut him off mid sentence.

"Sorry? How many things are gonna be okay just because you apologize Jungkook?! It was your dream, you worked so hard for it.." you say feeling tears spill out of your eyes and when he just looks down at your lap with his lips twisted in a straight line guiltily, you can't help but yell at him a bit, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

You didn't realize when your hand shifted from the t-shirt's neckline to his neck. You realize that only when his eyes shut for a second at the feeling of your hands on his face, the other hand coming to sit on top of the comforter on the other side of your body. Holding onto his face you asked him the question with big teary eyes, wet cheeks, and a wobbly chin.

"Tell me, kook?"

Sighing he answers, "Baby, they wanted me to go away."

"Don't lie to me, Jungkook, please. Yoongi told me they were ready to fix the schedule according to you -"

"And you think they were gonna do that for me forever?" He asks.

"Why did you say that I agreed then? Why did you lie? Why didn't you come talk to me? Do you think I wouldn't have understood or that you think it's not important for me to know?"

"Would you have let me quit if I wanted to?" He asked instantly.

You pause. Dammit.

"You see? That's why I didn't tell you. You're already handling so many responsibilities, I didn't wanna worry you more." He says, eyes turning soft.

You look at him. Eyes looking at him trying to find dishonesty, the thing was, Jungkook doesn't lie. Even after he did what he did, he came out to you truthfully. It hurt but you're where you are because he was honest. It's the bare minimum, honesty, but its rare. At least in your experience. But not with Jungkook. He can't lie.

"They were willing to change my schedule for me only until she is born.." he says looking at your tummy and then lifting his eyes to look at you.

"..I can't risk being away from you again. It might sound like I am lying but Y/N, baby, I don't wanna be away from you even for a single second. I wanna prove myself to be worthy of a second chance. I wanna be worthy of you and her. I can’t imagine my life even for a second without you or her. You can push me all you want, you can yell at me all you want but don't tell me that I should've chosen a job and not my family. I know I don’t have an answer for why I did what.." he pauses gulps and continues.

"...I did, I myself don't know why I did it, and trust me if I could turn back the time I would. But baby..." he puts his hand on yours that is resting on his cheek waiting for a second, barely visible, but he waits for some kind of negative reaction to him touching you. When he senses none, he continues,

"...I love you, and I will love you for my whole life, I will love you and my family until I breathe. I am so sorry for fucking things up but I want to fix them, I can fix them, we will fix it. Just don't please.." he squeezes his eyes shut slightly squeezing your hand as well.

"... don't ask me to go away from you. I can't live away from you. I would quit my job if that's what it takes to be with my family, to take care of my family, to take care of you, and to take care of us. Please tell me I can be with you, can you please tell me you don’t want me to go away? Pleas- “

You tell him exactly that, but not verbally because wasn’t it ironic how he feels sorry for not knowing why he did what he did when you don't even think of any second thoughts before you do what you do, without knowing why.

Lips crashing on his, you shut him up with an answer you feel him absorbing inside him. He freezes when you kiss him, his breath stuttering when you move your lips against him. You squeeze his t-shirt in desperate need, and you feel him flutter his eyelids against your cheekbones, your tears mixing with his, and he kisses you back.

Does it last? Does your happiness last? No.

As soon as he moves his lips, you hear him sniffle and break the kiss. His eyes are still red, and his cheeks are slightly wet as well. He sniffles again, but the only sound you can hear is your heartbreaking because he moves away.

Away from the bed. Away from the comforter. Away from the kiss. Away from you.

He gets up and takes a step back, shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut. He curses under his breath as if regaining his composure while you just stare at the space where he was sitting earlier.

“I- I am sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't, I can't. I am really sorry, I shouldn't. I just shouldn't. I am sorry.”

And he leaves the room, shutting the door, not completely but leaving it slightly ajar. It's just like he does always. You hear the kitchen tap opening. He probably is doing the dishes. You hear everything from outside the door, but you feel like there's radio silence in your room.

A low beep-like sound ringing in your ears, embarrassment? Hurt? Love? Anger? Betrayal? Pain? Need? Desire? You feel so much at once, and you don't know what to do with it. This is getting so much more fucked and somehow you both find new ways to make this way tougher than anyone can imagine.

After some time, you hear the lights outside click off, and you can't help but wish he came to you. He does, but only to keep a fresh glass of water on the nightstand. He wishes you good night in a whisper, glancing once at your face and then,

...leaves.

Well, shit.

___________________________________________

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personwhowrites · 1 year ago

Text

Unforgettable wedding

Platonic TF 141, Simon Ghost Riley x f!reader (18+)

Wc: 6.1k

Cw: Drinking, fingering,vagial sex, unprotected sex, sex in car, slightly possessive Ghost?Teasing, strong language, No use of y/n

Nicknames given: Princess, Doll, Good girl, Baby

Summary: A high school friend (Rachel) invited you to a wedding, you declared you had a lover but actually didn’t. You asked Soap, Gaz and Price to be your fake boyfriend for the wedding. Price agreed after some talking, but canceled due to an emergency. Leaving you to answer questions and peer pressure from friends. Until.. Ghost shows up, pretending to be your boyfriend. Things go okay, games are played and kisses are shared. When he notices you starting to get drunk, he offers to take you home. Little did you know that ‘ride’ home would change everything that involved him..

A/N: I uh… yeah at the last part my mind went blank and uh, lost idea of what i was writing and it turned into something else.

It was a high school friend who was getting married, you kept in touch with them even if at times they were toxic towards you. They added you to a group called “invitations” announcing their wedding. You didn’t see it till two days later, you were busy on the mission that involved your whole time and attention. No one from your personal life knew what job you did, if anyone asked you would brush them off and change the subject. So it came to surprise you, Rachel had invited you to their wedding and you're just now responding.

You: I’ll see if I can make it, I need to work some stuff out first.

Rachel read your message along with other few close friends from the group. You set your phone down not expecting much as Soap approached you with a grin on his face and a can of pop in his hands.

“Las, you have any plans for the week off?” Soap asked as he took a seat next to you. “I've been thinking about visiting my family.”

“Probably nothing like always, which is fine.” You reply while soap opens the can of pop. “Are you seriously drinking that ten month soda?”

“It's called pop, and matter in fact I am.” Soap relies as he drowns the sugary drink. “You seriously don’t plan to go somewhere?”

You open your mouth to reply but your phone buzzes, which you turn over and look at the notification. It's from the ‘invitations’ group chat, it suddenly became active, you open your phone and look at the messages. Your eyes widen as you read the message to yourself, Soap notice and look over at your screen.

Rachel: That’s fine, you probably don’t even have a plus one, so you save us the food for that! I would appreciate a gift or some flowers if we ever meet up again. Xoxo

Soap tilts his head as you start to type something, someone else in the group chat sends a message. Leaving you to gasp and stopping you from sending another message.

Jason: Yeah it's fine, plus you never have time for the group anymore. Anytime that we plan something you always respond late..

You: Because I have to tend to important matters and don’t have time to be on my phone. Anyways I will come then! I will see you all there and hell I will bring my partner!

You didn’t think of the message you sent, until Soap gasps and looks at you in surprise.

“You have a lover?” Soap now asks as you quickly realize what you just sent. “I never knew that.”

“I.. didn’t either..” You mumble and set your phone down. “Shit.. oh god what did I just do.. Soap be my fake date please you're the only one that knows.”

“No can do, I already have my week planned out with my family.” Soap says before chuckling. “Good luck with that, now if you..” Soap burps and holds his stomach. “I'm going to regret drinking that pop.”

Soap gets up as your phone buzzes again, it's a message from the group chat again. This time it was multiple people typing all now excited you will be tending the wedding that was three days away. You nervously bit your lip and read the messages, everyone excited to meet this lover of yours that didn’t even exist. Rachel soon gave you the details of the location and what type of theme you could wear that is appropriate for her wedding. You thanked Rachel and soon turned your phone off and took a deep breath, now where could you find a single man that would be willing to be your pretend boyfriend.

Three hours passed and you were doing some of your daily duties where you met Gaz in the hall. He was heading to lunch alone and crossed paths with you.

“Hey, are you going to lunch yet?” Gaz asked you with a warm smile making you look up from whatever you were doing. “Price and Ghost are there.,”

“Maybe in a couple more minutes, I gotta finish..” Your reply and sigh before looking at the boxes you were carrying. “..Ah this can wait.. You know what's for lunch?”

“The same crappy food that's for sure.” Gaz chuckles as you start to walk with him. “You look uneasy..did someone say something to you?”

“Uh no..” You mumble and then get an idea. “Would you like to be my fake boyfriend for a wedding?”

Gaz stopped dead in his tracks and stared at you, thinking he misheard. You give him an awkward smile and look away now your face filled with embarrassment. Gaz remains silent, he was trying to process what you just said and making sure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him.

“Did I hear you right? You want me to be your fake boyfriend at a wedding?” Gaz murmured now amused by the thought. “You should have asked me earlier before I made some plans for the week.”

“Damn you too?” You say now in some annoyance. “I asked Soap but he said he already made some plans.”

Gaz let out a small laugh before walking again, soon the two of you arrived at the mess hall. Price by then had already gotten your tray with Gaz’s knowing you would join him and Ghost. You sat down and ate, nothing too important was discussed at the table, Gaz and Price were chatting about some rookies, while Ghost leaned back in his chair and listened to them. While also looking around as if he was looking for some trouble he could stop. Gaz soon brought up what you said that made you snap back into reality.

“Wait wait, you asked Gaz to be a fake boyfriend for a wedding?” Price now asked you with an amused look. “And you also asked Soap?”

“Yeah, it's just someone's wedding from highschool.. We are a friend group..” You mumble now embarrassed by all of this. “I said that I would go since their group pointed out that I never hang out with them anymore.”

“How can you? You're working away on missions to keep their perfect lives safe, they should be grateful.” Gaz says, shaking his head for a moment. “Can’t believe people sometimes thinking its easy to be in the special british forces..”

“The thing is that they don’t know what job I have..” You admit to Gaz as he lets out a laugh. “I like to keep my work life out of my personal life.”

Ghost looks at you know, he seems to be somewhat interested in what you said, Price laughs a little as you told them. Gaz on the other hand nodded, he knew what you meant and respected it.

“Wait Price, will you be my fake boyfriend?” You ask him quickly with some hope. “Please?”

“Now I would love to help you out of the mess you're in..” Price says taking a bite out of some burger.”But, I can’t do such a thing, especially something like that.”

“But it won’t be real!” You add quickly, seeming more desperate. “Please I’ll be less reckless on missions.”

“You should always be less reckless on missions.” Price points out before letting a sigh. “But okay.”

You let out a sigh of relief and closed your eyes, your mess now being fixed by your one and only captain. Yet boy were you wrong, on the day of the wedding Price canceled on you and apologized, an emergency had come up and you were left out without a date and the wedding was going to be starting soon. You stood outside the church and groaned softly as you saw the rest of the people arrive for it. One of them being Jason from the group chat, he had a date with him and he looked at you in a polite manner.

“No date? Things sure don’t change even out of highschool.” Jason teases as he walks into the church.

You stare at him for a moment and roll your eyes before entering the church yourself. You felt some people stare at you, it was obvious word got around that you would finally show up to something. You took a seat at the last row of the chairs and remained there for the rest of the wedding, eventually clapping and cheering the bride and groom. In the corner of your eye you saw someone, a dark figure you couldn’t make out, you brush it off as a guest. People started to head to their cars, getting ready to drive to the reception a couple minutes away from the church.

You felt as if someone was watching you, just you. The feeling didn’t wear off as you started to drive to the reception. You felt a car follow you, but the tint on its widows made it impossible to see who was driving. You took a turn into the reception parking lot and parked next to some other people. The car that was following you drove off, making you feel silly for thinking someone was following you.

The reception was beautiful, the place was decorated like any bride would want their reception to be. Yet when you found your name on a table you saw it was at the end of then with an empty chair next to it, you sat down and placed your bag down on the empty seat. Some friends approached you and talked about their lives, one of them made it into the fashion industry and the other was a chef that helped prepare the food for the wedding. Then it came time for you to talk about your job and how your life was.

“Honestly I have a plain life, nothing too important.” You say as attention is on you. “Plus I'm happy you all have successful careers.”

“Yet you never speak about your life, you always keep quiet about it!” One says looking at you with a tense stare. “Are you poor?”

“No..” You say hurt by their comment. “I'm well off of money..Rebbeca..”

“What happened with the partner you had?” Rebbeca asks, pushing you into a tight corner as eyes all on you. “Or what.. Did you lie?”

You opened your mouth to speak but Rachel walked over with a bright smile. All the attention soon turned to her as she opened a chair and sat down with the groom. Showing off her ring and dress, she soon turned her attention to the empty seat.

“Oh my, did your ‘boyfriend’ not show up?” Rachel says now putting shame on you. “You could have told us you didn’t have a lover…we could have used that seat for someone else.”

You stare at her, some anger rising up, but you remain calm. Using all of your energy to not say something that could ruin anything. You cleared your throat and smiled in a polite manner.

“I don’t share anything about my personal life because of my job.” You say brushing your hands against the table. “Being in The special Reconnaissance Regiment is hard to maintain a love life.”

Silence fills the table, no one saw you as some person to work for the army or any job like that. Racheled opened her mouth to speak but Rebbecaa spoke before her.

“You're in the army? I never took you to be one in that type of work” Rebecca mumbles before turning her full attention to you. “Have you.. Killed people?”

“Private information I cannot share for your safety and mine.” You reply feeling some weight for your shoulders to be lifted. “Now I would appreciate it if we just moved on.”

“You always were one to pull twists on us..” Jason spoke and looked at you with a slight grin. “That’s good, honestly I always thought you would join the military but didn’t know what branch..”

You shook his comment off and made sure Rachel had the attention again. It was her wedding after all. The dance soon started for the bride and her parents. You stood by and reached for your bag, maybe thinking its best to leave. You weren’t having fun, and some of your friends wouldn’t leave the topic about your job. Soon someone else walked into the party, they seemed out of place for a moment then their eyes landed on you immediately. Your eyes widened as you saw who it was. Ghost.

He walked past some people who stared at him, he wasn’t wearing his regular ‘creepy’ balaclava but a more normal one. It covered his nose and down. No work uniform was on , but a simple light button up shirt and some pants from a tux, that obviously matched him well. His dirty blonde hair was neatly fixed into a stylish slit back hair style, which you never expected him to have. The tattoos on his forearm were on full display as he finally grabbed your bag and set in on your lap. He took the seat next to you and sigh annoyed..

“Don’t question it..” Ghost mumbled as he leaned back and whispered in your ear. “Be grateful I even considered such a thing..”

“How did you even know where the reception would be held?” You ask as Ghost lets out an annoyed sigh. “I only sent that information to Price..”

“You just answered your own question,” Ghost says bluntly as he looks around. “So much damn white..Jesus I might go blind from it all.”

“You handle flashbangs for a living..” You tease Ghost who immediately gives you a glare. “Sorry, I thought it would be funny.”

“What happens when a strawberry gets run over while crossing the street?” Ghost says leaning closer to you. “Hm?”

“Uh..i don’t know what happens?” You reply slightly amused by this behavior.

“Traffic Jam.” Ghost replies and chuckles to himself. “Another?”

You hold back a laugh, knowing it wasn't funny yet the way his voice makes the joke sound is better. Ghost pulls your chair closer so you can hear his terrible dad jokes better.

“What do you call a pony with a sore throat?” Ghost hums into your ear while you hold a smile back from your lips. “A little hoarse..”

You can’t help it but let a chuckle escape your lips. Ghost soon leans away from you and sits up in the chair. He looks around the party and rubs his eyes slightly showing he is annoyed by all of the lights. You look at Ghost, it was strange seeing him like this. No mask nor face paint made it feel like you walked into another universe. Which at this point you might have now noticed that he was the one that asked Price for the address to see you and help.

“Thanks..” You mumble to him enough to hear. “You really didn’t have to..”

Ghost looks at you, he seems to have something on his mind. His mask moves as he is about to speak, yet the sound of the bride and groom stop him. You turn your attention to the center of the place and listen as the bride is going to cut the cake and food will be served soon.

The rest of the night some of your friends ask you about Ghost but you say nothing. Avoiding their questions and Ghost doing the same, if he did want you to answer a question about him, he would shoot you a glance or nudge your chair. The night went on, Ghost cracked some more ‘jokes’ that made you smile or even get a chuckle out.His arm is soon wrapped around your shoulders. You didn’t mind it and soon rested your head on his arm, things were okay.

“Are you comfortable..”Ghost questions while keeping his eyes away from you. “Aren’t you?”

“I can move away..” You reply and look at him anxiously.

“It's fine..” Ghost replies and looks away from you. “Can’t believe you’re social enough for this kind of stuff.”

“I honestly never come to stuff like this..I'm always lonely.” You murmur as Ghost turns his attention to you.

“Not this time..”Ghost says, sitting up a bit, he places his hand on your face. “You had some sauce on our lips.”

You stare at Ghost as he wipes the sauce away and leaves his thumb on your lips. He's gaze now on your lips, you feel your face heat up. Ghost gently rubs his thumb on your lips then moves it down to your chin, he makes you look slightly up at him. Ghost hazel eyes stare into your own eyes, a thick tension grows. He moved his thumb back onto your lips, gently giving them a brush. Somehow the world around the two of you slowed down, nothing matters anymore..

“..I never noticed.. How beautiful you are up close..” Ghost mumbles as his arm around your shoulders pulls you closer to him. “A sight for my sore eyes..”

Ghost moves his arm away from your shoulders and brings his hand to his mask. A loud sound makes both of you jump and turn away from each other. His hand on your face moving away to his side, the bride had grabbed a microphone and was trying to turn it on.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen! Let's get these games started!” Rachel says with a happy look on her face. “Please bring your chairs and yourself to the center!”

People around you and Ghost started to move themselves and their chairs. You stare at everyone, most of everyone that was at the table left. You then turned your attention back to ghost, who didn’t even seem interested in the game. Rachel noticed you weren’t there and walked over, she grabbed your hand and smiled before speaking.

“Come on! Join us like the good old times!” Rachel says getting people to look over. “Like the good old days, you used to love musical chairs so much as kids.”

You looked around and noticed some people looking over, peer pressure got the best of you and you nodded. Ghost looked at you, there was a hit of worry and annoyance in his eyes. He stood up with you and grabbed your hand, Rachel looked at Ghost, slightly taken back by the sight of him. Rachel soon walked to the center with you and Ghost along with the chairs. It was a regular game of musical chairs, no rules except no harming each other badly. You placed your chair down in the circle, soon the music started and everyone started to move around in a circle. Ghost didn’t even know why on earth he decided to join such a ‘childish game.’ The music stopped and chaos broke, you sat down quickly in a chair as Ghost and a couple others did the same, while two people fought for a chair. One finally sat down and soon the game continued..

Ghost got out the twelve round, he didn’t like walking and too many eyes were on him. He took his chair back to the table and watched as you went against eight people. The number lowered quickly to the point it was only you and some other girl left. Both of you were focused, none wanted to lose or make a fool out of yourselves. The Dj speed up the music and you started to feel your body tense, the music stopped, without a thought you kicked the chair away and the girl fell down before she could sit down. People started to laugh and you picked up the knocked down chair, Ghost slightly was somewhat amused by the sight. The other girl tried to snatch the chair out of your hands but it was all a fail as your grip was strong.

You spun around the girl and placed the chair down, the girl did the same thing as you. She kicks the chair down and you let out an annoyed groan. She grabs the chair with a wide grin and sets the chair down. This could all be over if it wasn't for your need to win no matter what. You kicked the chair down quickly, almost hitting the other girl. She gasped as if in the blink of an eye you picked the chair up and ran to the center sitting down in it.

People cheered and Ghost looked at you with amusement, You soon walked back with the chair and smiled happily. Ghost shook his head trying to shake the look of amusement off, you hugged him without thinking…He hugs you back, a tight embrace happens as the two of you hug each other. You notice your mistake and pull away immediately.

“Oh god, I'm so sorry..I was just so excited..” You say quickly as Ghost pulls you back into a hug. “Ghost?”

Ghost closes his eyes and keeps holding you close, you could swear his breathing get heavier as he held you closer. His cologne filling your nose, Ghost held you close for a period of time. You soon embraced him as well and kept hugging him.

“..Never let go..” Ghost mumbles in your ear, his voice slightly breaking. “Please..”

‘Please’ that word sounded so heartbreaking out of his lips. You just nodded and he let go of you, that was the first time Ghost has ever done that with you. He sat down and pretended like nothing happened and he expected you to do the same.

The rest of the games continued, you would join but not most of them since your feet were tired. Ghost kept you close to him, awfully close. If any of your guy friends approached the two of you, his grip would become tighter on you. The games went on for another hour, soon the bride Rachel announced she would be throwing her bouquet soon.

“You’d think that..You could get the bouquet as well?” Ghost asks, looking at you, before looking at some girls in the center. “If you stand in the back the odds of you getting it are twenty out of hundred.”

“I don’t like the whole bouquet stuff, Rachel would make the girl kiss their partner if they got it.” You reply looking over to the other females. “Plus, I think I won enough games already.”

“Wouldn’t hurt to just have a good time.” Ghost adds looking at you now which you don’t notice. “Who knows if we'll ever be alive to see another wedding..”

You think for a moment then nod, standing up from your seat you walk over to the back. The bride calls out more females to the floor making sure it's even for all the females. The groom gets a chair and Rachel gets on it, she turns her back to the others on the dance floor, people start counting down for her to throw the bouquet. Rachel throws it a three and it hits a fan on the ceiling, which bounces the bouquet and it hits you right in the face. People laugh and cheer as you now hold the bouquet, Ghost eyes widen as he didn’t even expect that himself to happen out of all the possibilities.

“Kiss your partner now!” Rachel says with a smile as she walks over and drags you to Ghost. “Kiss kiss!”

“Rachel, please no lets just move on to the res–” You try to say, but Ghost grabs your waist turning you to him. “Wai–”

Ghost takes his mask down and plants a sloppy kiss on your lips. He holds your hips, making sure he can hold you correctly. You lean into the kiss and start to close your eyes. It seemed like Ghost wanted to do it for a long time. Ghost breaks the kiss and pulls his mask back and places his hand on your face. He gives you a wink before creasing your cheek with his thumb. Rachel soon walks away leaving you to stare at Ghost in shock.

“I can’t be arsed to care about what you’re thinking..” Ghost mumbles before taking his seat again. “It's all pretend.”

You look at him still in shock and turn away, soon enough you found yourself drinking some fine wine being offered around. Ghost on the other hand remained sober, unwilling to talk to any other female that approached him. His eyes on you as you chugged down wine, there was a time he got worried as people cheered you on to keep drinking. You knew how to handle your liquor, but Ghost didn’t know that. You look at Ghost and give him a drunken smile, yet his eyes narrow seeing that you're drunk down.

“That’s enough drinking now.” Ghost mumbles taking the glass of wine out of your hand. “Do you hear me?”

“I'm fine, Ghost. I can't get drunk so easily with wine.” You say looking at him hoping he would give back the wine glass. “Can I have it back?”

“No, that's enough wine for you today..” Ghost says and sets your glass on the table. “If you keep drinking or try to drink again I will get up and leave.”

You stare at Ghost and soon take your own seat, You lean against his arm and sigh. Maybe you had been drinking too much, maybe the wine was too much for you. Ghost turned his attention to you, pulled you closer to him, almost as if he wanted you on his lap. You nuzzled your face against his arm and closed your eyes, you were starting to blackout..

“You okay..?” Ghost asked with high concred in his voice. “You need to head home?”

“Probably..” You mumble before looking at him. “I might have drank too much today..”

Ghost sighs and helps you stand up, he grabs your bag and starts to walk out with you. Rachel noticed and walked over with the groom, they called out for you and Ghost. He hesitated to stop but did since they were your friends. Rachel and her husband Aaron look at you and then at Ghost.

“You two leaving?” Rachel asks slightly hurt by this. “It's only twelve in the morning”

“She had too much to drink and wanted to go home.” Ghost says looking at Rachel, slight haterade he didn’t like her at all. “If you care about her, you wouldn’t have to come and question why she is leaving early.”

“Easy now, we don’t need an aggressive tone here.” Aaron speaks up trying to make things settle. “We are in the wrong for cheering them on..”

Ghost starts to walk away with you, he makes sure you can lean on him as you two walk. He knew where your car was parked, the exact spot without even checking. You looked at Ghost a little concerned as to how he knew where your car was parked. He takes the keys out of your bag and looks at you.

“I'll drive you home then get an uber back here to drive my own car.” Ghost says and opens the passenger door. “Come on..”

You stare at him for a moment and get in your own car. Ghost closes the door and walks to the other side, he opens the door to the driver side, he sits down then adjusts the seat. Ghost looks over at you for a moment and pulls his mask off completely. Then grabs your head gently with the palm of his hand on the back of your head. He leans in and kisses you, the kiss was less sloppy than before. Ghost gently grabs a fist full of your hair and pulls you closer, he can’t get enough of your lips.

Ghost moves his other hand to your neck, you look at him as he leans in for another kiss. Your lips crash against his, he groans in the kiss. The hand on your neck gives you a gentle squeeze. Ghost hand on your hair moves to your back, he bushes the straps of your dress and looks at you with desire.

“Are you okay with this doll?” Ghost asks, looking at you. “Do you like me kissing you?”

Ghost looks at you and smiles, it is odd but yet comforting. You meet in his gaze and place your hands on his cheeks.The palm of your hands brush against his stubble, he leans close to you. Another kiss is shared between the two of you, Ghost wraps his arm around your waist. Pulling you closer to him, he lets go of your neck, placing his hand on your thigh, rubbing gentle circles on your skin. Without a thought he kisses your neck as you let go of his face, you toge on his shirt and bite your lip.

“Use your words..” Ghost says giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. “Come on..”

“I want this Ghost..” You reply as he places his hand on your chin. “Don’t.. Make me beg..”

“You’re drunk.. If you were sober maybe I would go further with you princess..” Ghost mumbled before turning his attention to the steering wheel. “Let’s get you home.”

You stare at Ghost feeling disappointed, but understand that he wanted to keep his desires in check. Ghost pulled out of the parking lot and headed into the road, once in a while he would look over at your body. How it bounced to each bump on the road, his desires and mind started to wonder as the straps on your dress slid off your shoulders. Ghost stops the car by a park nearby and turns the car off, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He turns his attention to you and your neck. Pulling you close, Ghost leans his face to your neck..

“You drive me crazy, a crazy I can't hide anymore…” Ghost murmurs before kissing your neck. “Do you want this doll? Do you want me to take you here and now..?”

You let out a soft moan and nod, Ghost wastes no time helping you get on his lap, he leans the seat back. You hear him undo his buckle of his pants, he was wasting no time to take you. To give you the pleasure you two desire in such close space. You kiss Ghost and watch as he moves his hand to your inner thighs, he gives them a gentle squeeze. He slides his fingers against your clit, shivers go down your spine.

“Look at you.. Already wet, partially dripping onto my fingers.” Ghost teases and rubs circles on your clit. “Think you can take me baby? Think you can take me like the good girl you are..”

A whimper escapes your mouth and you look down at Ghost. Who’s admiring the faces you make to his touch, the sweet sounds you give him. Ghost soon removes his hand away from your pussy and licks his finger, you blush to his action.

“Why would you do that..” You mumble in slight embarrassment. “Gh–”

“It's Simon to you princess..” Ghost says inserting two fingers into your pussy without a warning.

You arch your back and let out a loud moan, he didn’t give you any warning. Slowly he fingered you, enjoying watching you come undone to just his fingers. Ghost moved at a slow pace, wanting to savor every second of your reaction. Your hips soon started to move on their own, your body wanting more of his finger. Ghost pulls them out and looks at you while you let out a small whimper. Ghost chuckles and moves his throbbing cock close to your pussy.

“Patience, pretty girl. Patience..” Ghost mumbles and looks at you. “You think that you can handle it?”

You give an quick nod and try to place your body on his cock, but Ghost stops you and rubs your hips. He knew you wanted as much as he did, but he wanted to make sure you could take him. Ghost brushed his hands on your hips and bit his lip, he wanted to just ruin you and keep you close to him.

“Gh–Simon.. Please..” You beg now looking down at him. “Please.. I can’t keep waiting..”

You start to beg him, he loves the sight of you begging, the sound of your whimpers wanting your own hips to be placed on his. Ghost without warning drops your body on to his cock, he lets out a satisfied groan as you let out a small cry. You have taken every single inch of him, Ghost rubs your hips again letting you adjust to him. Some tears escape your eyes and you hold onto the handle off the door. Ghost shifts on the car seat and lets out a groan as take more of him in.

“Bloody hell..you're so perfect.. So bloody perfect for me..” Ghost moans out and closes his eyes. “Perfectly made for me baby..” He pauses for a moment and digs his fingers on the side of your hips. “Think you can move a baby girl, think you can move this beautiful body of yours?”

You give him a gentle nod and slowly bounce on his cock. Ghost groans as he squeezes his eyes shut, he lets go of your hips and places his hands on your thighs. Giving them a good squeeze, you can’t help but moan his name as your hips move.

“That’s it princess that's it..” Ghost murmurs while giving your thighs another squeeze. “ Use my cock to satisfy this pussy of yours.”

Ghost was completely pussy drunk, mumbling things as you bounced on his cock. Ghost opened his eyes soon enough to catch a glimpse of your face, how you particularly looked at him. Ghost moves his hands back to your waist, he adjusts himself and thrust into you. You let out a moan, Ghost started to move himself as you arched your back trembling as you were on your high with him, Your eyes rolled back and your moans were music to his ears.

“Cum for me baby, cum for me..”Ghost says, thrusting his cock recklessly into you. “That’s it, love.. Bloody hell..that's it clinching that pussy around my cock.”

Without another word you moan loudly and let your body fall on him, You had reached your orgasm. Ghost wasn't so far behind, he pulled out and came on your ass, he groaned and soon wrapped his arms around you. He took steady breaths and brushed his hand on your hair. Gently patting your back with his other hand.

“You did so good for me doll.. So good..” Ghost murmurs into your ear and holds you close. “Breath..”

“I.. love you..” You reply without thinking. “I really..love you..”

Ghost looked at you and then sigh softly before kissing your head. He holds you close but says nothing. The both of you stay like that for a couple minutes, crickets and sounds of nature lay on your ears as finally Ghost speaks.

“I love you too..” Ghost mumbles creasing your face, before kissing your cheek. “We still need to get you home.”

You nodded and lifted yourself off of Ghost. You sat back in the passenger seat and watched as Ghost buckled his pants up again, you in the meantime fixed your panties. He started the car and got out of the parking lot of the park. Ghost glanced over at you while he drove. Things were definitely never gonna be the same between him and you, Ghost knew that like you did. He placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. You looked at Ghost, as he drove your car, the car you had your first time with Ghost, so many thoughts and so many questions but what did that matter now? This wedding was definitely going to be an unforgettable one.

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ruewrote · 1 year ago

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𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑠.

PAIRING: chloe price x fem!reader WARNINGS: mentions of possible death GENRE: angst SONG INSPIRATION: love me now by john legend WORD COUNT: 765 CHAPTERS: one, two

navigation | ask | life is strange masterlist

it had been just over a week since rachel had gone missing and you had never seen chloe so...broken?

since she had gotten expelled she now spent her days in bed or out getting high. you were more than worried for her, she barely spoke to you anymore whether that be through person or messaging. always ending up with you getting left on read or delivered most nights.

joyce gave you sad smiles as you showed up to take care of her daughter or well atleast try to.

often leaving trays of food out for her, then coming back to get it and it would be barely touched. the curtains of her bedroom always closed, the strong scent of beer and weed making your stomach churn as you laid snuggled up close holding her.

you've never seen her look so small before.

for the boisterous girl you had first met seeing chloe in this state terrified you and the fact you couldn't do anything to make her feel better made the pit in your stomach grow deeper.

a few weeks later and rachel was still missing.

the students of blackwell reluctantly went back to their normal schedules, classes did too, even with the constant rainfall.

as for chloe she was nowhere near okay, but she was out of bed and determined more than ever to find rachel. placing missing person posters all over town with your help of course.

you would do anything for that girl...for your girl.

like now where you're stood close behind her, your hands in gloves gripping a bleaching brush which was covered in blue hair dye.

ever since the two of you had gotten together you had taken on the role of dying her hair, tired of seeing her miss patches at the back. you also happened to love the calmness of the process, that was when you actually got her to sit still.

her normal fidgeting was now still, the room that was previously full of music and life is dull and quiet.

you were just about done double checking you covered everywhere before taking off your gloves and picking up a piece of tissue, shuffling round to kneel in front of her.

she had been awfully quiet today, it had gotten so bad you wished that she'd just scream and shout at you, to do something. anything.

your fingers gently grasped her chin as you wiped away any excess off of her forehead so it wouldn't burn the skin, her eyes skimming your face as you did, a soft smile tugged at your lips as you went to give her a kiss only for your lips to be met with her cheek.

that sinking feeling coming back again as you backed away. peeling the gloves off of your hands, gathering your things whilst she tried to explain herself. the tears nearly spilling from your eyes as you swallowed the lump in your throat to speak to her.

"i-im gonna go home, give you some space. remember don't leave that on for too long, i love you." pausing to look at her seeing the regret and pain on her face. she reached out for you, but before she could catch you, you slipped out of the door.

you didn't know what to do anymore, this was all becoming so draining. feeling terrible for even thinking that, but you felt like you were losing her.

now instead of stopping off at her house before school you went straight there, sometimes even grabbing a coffee and still having enough time to be early.

your grades that were once slipping now back on track, you spent your time drowned in homework or extracalicular activities so you didn't have to think of her. of everything. every once in a while calling joyce for updates.

tonight was one of the nights where every had been done, school work, chores. so you ended up having a self care night. not remembering the last time you did something nice for yourself.

having a shower, slipping into some pjs and putting on home alone. a christmas movie that you once loved but now couldn't watch without thinking of her.

clicking off the tv, falling onto your bed. bundling yourself up as you listened to the rain beat against the window.

you missed her laugh, her sarcastic humour, her touch, you missed her.

for the passed few years it had been you two, she was your constant and having it all ripped away from you so suddenly hurt.

you felt forgotten. for the first time in ages you were...alone.

#chloe price #chloe price x reader #chloe price oneshots #chloe price imagines #chloe price fanfics #life is strange #life is strange x reader #life is strange oneshots #life is strange imagines #life is strange fanfics #x reader #oneshots #imagines #fanfics #ruewrote #angst #chloe price angst

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thatawkwardmoth · 2 months ago

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It's a normal Sunday afternoon. Jean is on the couch. She's done tidying up the place for Sunday dinner. Rachel and Scott, ever acting like the same person, are building a tower together. And Rachel is an odd little kid. All the ones Jean and Scott have known, all her preschool classmates, they want to destroy right after they build. They want to watch it all crash down and clap happily.

Rachel enjoys building it, especially with Scott's help. He makes sure it's stable and knows where to place the blocks so it doesn't topple over. Rachel becomes very distraught if it falls before she's ready to deconstruct it block by block.

So she sits on her Dad's lap, the same pensive look in their faces as they make a giant city on the living room carpet of the Boathouse. Jean is watching with a soft smile, mostly asleep after a long day, but she can't sleep yet. This scene is too precious to miss. Her husband is so soft with Rachel. His voice is calming as he praises her on her tower skills, giving Ray time to decompress after her own long day.

This hour of 'quiet time,' as Scott calls it, is needed. Sometimes it's just because they have a hyper toddler who needs time to mellow out before naptime. Other times it's because Ray's already budding powers have overstimulated her. Feeling people's emotions around a bustling school isn't easy.

Jean reaches out telepathically, just picking up her daughter's surface thoughts. She's tired and thinking about just falling asleep on her daddy because he'll let her. He'll let her sleep in his and Jean's bed if Jean doesn't put her foot down.

Scott's thoughts, ever present in her mind, are worrying about them both. As always. He's wondering if, when he checks Rachel's lunchbox, if she ate everything. If Jean's feet still hurt from the heels she had to wear to a conference with the Professor yesterday, if his team is going to be able to complete the danger room scenarios he has queued up. Jean lets him worry, he always does.

"Ray, you ready to take it apart?" Scott asks. He's noticed how heavy Rachel's eyes have gotten. Rachel pouts and shakes her head.

"Mama, move it?" She asks Jean, yawning as she curls up in her father's lap, bright curls tickling his chin. Jean sighs like it's something she wasn't expecting. Rachel is an only child, she can have her creations be moved to her designated area of the living room and it won't be destroyed come morning by anyone. It's something she's realized early on. If it's moved out of the walkway, she won't have to pack it all up.

Meaning Jean spends a lot of her time 'training' as she tells Scott and the Professor by moving Rachel's creations telekinetically from one spot to another. Rachel always claps like she's never seen it before.

"There you go. Remember honey, Aunt Ororo's coming by tonight. So are a few other people. You might have to put your blocks away." Scott reminds her as he stands, her head on his shoulder. For a second, Scott's thoughts are a mess. Jean can't help but melt at them.

Whenever Scott does anything with Rachel or anything happens with her, even just someone mentioning her name sometimes, his thoughts pause. They automatically think of her as still a baby. His hand sometimes cradles her neck when he's holding her a certain way, he still checks her car seat buckles even if she's at the phase where she 'can do it herself, daddy!'

It's comforting. And part of the reason Jean doesn't want another baby. Her sister keeps asking her when she's going to have her second.

"Rachel's not getting any younger!" Sara says constantly. "Neither are you, Jeannie."

And Jean knows that. Her biological clock is running out. But how could she have another baby?

It's mainly the mutant situation and the hate coming towards their people that stop her and Scott from ever going through with having a second child. It's too dangerous. Scott had regrets he voiced shortly after Ray was born.

But a small part of her doesn't want Rachel to have to share the overwhelming love Scott has for her. She could. She has potential to be a great big sister. But she's Scott's baby, through and through.

He wakes up early, even earlier than he did before she was born, to make her a homemade lunch, to make sure she's got her favorite clothes cleaned for preschool, that all her papers have been looked over and read. That her shoes are clean and still light up. He makes a fresh pitcher of lemonade every two days for Rachel's small tumbler she takes to school with her.

He builds towers with her when he should be grading. He takes her out to movies every chance he gets, giving Jean the most heartbreaking excuse.

"I don't want to give her away to some random boy," He always says, already thinking of Rachel getting married. "But when I do, I want her to know how a man is supposed to act on a date."

Jean couldn't imagine having a second child. Scott wanted a big family, only stopped by the opinions of people about mutants. Jean thought she wanted a big family too.

But she's content with one. She's happy with one. Besides, she tells herself, Rachel is horrible at sharing.

(She's not. Ray is a sweetheart. That's what everyone tells her. She's a sweetheart like Jean. Kind and caring and darling. No one ever says she's sweet like Scott. Jean thinks it's sad. Don't they know how caring her husband is?)

Jean's pulled from her thoughts by a small shake, Scott leaning down to kiss her head when he's got her attention.

"I'm going to put our little firebird to bed." He mutters to her, keeping his voice low. "You can go nap in our room." He orders her, always worried about her before he's worried about himself. "I'll handle dinner."

Jean watches him leave for Rachel's room, the door creaking open. Rachel sleeps through it and Scott tosses a boyish grin back at her. They've been arguing over fixing the hinges for a few days. Jean thinks it will wake Rachel up, Scott likes it because it lets them know when she's sneaking out of bed.

Jean rolls her eyes and stretches out on the couch before heading for the master bedroom. She peeks into Rachel's room as she passes. The quietness of the house makes Jean contemplative, makes her emotional. She'll blame that.

Scott lays Rachel down in her small bed with as much care as he did the first day they brought her home. Hand on the back of her neck and everything. He takes a moment to turn on her fan and remove her socks, knowing Rachel runs hot. Every movement he's done a hundred times before but each one he takes his time with. He doesn't rush this. Even if Ray is already asleep. He makes sure her windows are still locked and that her nightlight is still working. Her closet door needs to be closed and her stuffed tiger has to be close to her but not touching her.

Scott does it all with a smile, only leaving the room after every little thing is done, giving her a kiss on the forehead before meeting Jean in the hallway.

What's wrong? Scott asks through their link. Jean didn't even realize she was projecting how sappy it made her.

Sometimes, I think you're sweeter to her than you are to me. She teases. She caresses his cheek as he pulls her into his embrace. She loves this man with everything she has.

"I don't think we can have another baby." Jean whispers, looking back at the cracked open door. Scott hums curiously in response. His chin is in her head, his arms around her waist.

"Were we planning on one?" Scott asks slowly.

"No. But people keep asking." Jean shakes her head in response, laughing softly at his careful treading. "I don't think you could handle two."

"I could!" Scott defends in mock outrage, pulling away to stare down at her with a playful frown. "I could definitely handle two kids." His thoughts are different from Jean's about this. In his mind, he can easily carve out time for a second. He could easily juggle two kids. His thoughts focus more on the second child getting time and effort.

"You can." She agrees. "But it wouldn't be fair to Ray." She leads him to their room, away from the light sleeper that is their toddler.

"How so?" Scott asks as he pushes to sit on the edge of the bed. "We could make it fair."

"You give your everything to Rachel. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to share or cut back on her time with you just because we decided to have another baby." Jean tells him, wanting him to be on the same page as her. "And don't mention her asking for a sibling. She wants a sibling like she wants a puppy."

Scott chuckles at that, pulling her in by the waist. "I guess you're right. She's been spoiled." He sighs with a dopey grin.

It's a sight to behold. Her husband, the stoic leader, uptight, no nonsense teacher, looking so smug about how spoiled their child is.

He takes pride in it. She knows he does. He was raised in an orphanage and the one couple that wanted to adopt him met an untimely fate. Every time he can give Rachel the childhood he begged for, he gets a burst of joy. Anytime he can beat Corsair in parenting, he's on cloud nine.

"Try not to raise a monster." Jean jokes.

"My baby could never be a monster." Scott quips back. He's looking at her with a fond smile. The 'baby' he's talking about isn't just limited to Rachel.

"Sap." She accuses him, kissing him to wipe that smile off his face.

"I spoil you too." He says after he pulls away, tugging her down on the bed with him. "So, if we're not having another, does that mean we're not allowed to practice?"

"I didn't say that."

#x men #x men comics #scott summers #summers family #rachel summers #jott #jeanscott

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prettypinkporkchop · 5 months ago

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Can I request and Embry x atera or uley reader where the reader is either Sam or quils sister and it shows them from dating before the imprint and then getting imprinted on and the brother being protective but when they get time alone things get 🥵 and midway through they get caught and they get chased and however ending I want

I'm gonna do my own cute tiny spin on this! But trust trust trust!!!

"Embry! Let me go!" The sixteen year old you squeals while you two play in the water.

You pull out of your daze and lock back in on the picture of Embry and Quil. Quil had sent you a selfie. You text back with laughing faces. You are so excited to go back home. Leaving La Push was a bad idea. You wanted to start over.

You wake up from your nap in the car and get back to driving. Just five more hours, and you're back home. You do miss Embry. You regret leaving him behind the most. Quil has moved in with Paul. There's no room for you there unless you sleep on the couch, so Emily offered you their spare room.

"Y/n Ateara! What the hell!" Jared hugs you. "Oh, hey!" You laugh. You see Kim come up behind him. "You're the amazing Kim! Quil tells me about you!" You let go of Jared and hug her. "It's good to meet you, y/n. I figured there were too many atearas around here!" She laughs and hugs you back. Quil pulls you out of her arms. "Okay! Okay! Enough! Let the girl breathe." He laughs. "Just letting you know, Embry is inside with everyone else." He whispers. You shrug and smile like you don't care. "We're grown now. It's over." You say. Quil nods his head and runs off to help Jared build the fire.

You walk inside and see everyone cleaning up. "Oh! You're here earlier than expected!" Emily looks up and walks over to you. "Emily!" You squeal and hug her tightly. "Oh, my girl!" She holds you. You guys pull away, and Embry and Jake walk up to you. "Hey, punk." Jake softly shoves you. "Hello, idiot. So weird to see all the short hair and muscles." You laugh. Your eyes go up to Embry's, and he's still in his stance.

You can't look away. He's so hot. He's godlike. He's mesmerizing. Jake is eyeing him, and you pull out of your stare. "Embry Call." You sigh with a smile. He smiles slowly and then brings you into a hug. "I'm sorry for leaving you." You whisper. He rubs your back. He smells so good. "It's over now." He whispers back into your hair.

You sit at the fire and see Quil glaring at Embry. "Why's bro pissed?'' You lean and ask Paul. "You'll find out." He chuckles.

After learning all about the tribe, you understand. Paul is sitting next to you, explaining to you as the elders go over the legends. Embry and Quil are having a stare off. You belong to a SHIFTER?! AND YOUR BOTHER IS A SHIFTER?! IMPRINTING?! Rachel leans over and rubs your knee. "Don't worry, babes. You're always safe and loved." She reassures.

You stand up and make your way to embry. He is staring at you nervously. "Are you gonna run away again?" He asks, biting his lip. "No." You say. Quil steps in between you two. "Okay, we're done." He says. "Quil." You warn. Embry sighs, "Dude, you KNOW I can't help it." He replies. "Okay. And?" Quil growls. You reach over and pull Embry into you. "At least let me and him talk this out." You glare at Quil. "Fine." He says and walks away. "Do you want to go inside and talk in private?" You ask him. He nods his head. You interlock your hand in his and walk inside to the spare bedroom. He shuts the door behind you, and you plop on the bed. "Did you hurt when I left?" You ask. "Yes." He says. "Did you know you'd imprint on me?" He sits next to you. "No." He coughs and shifts. "Did you ever try again after us?" He looks over your face. You shake your head. "Me neither. I didn't want anyone else." He smiles. You smile back at him and rest your forehead on his shoulder. "I've missed you." You admit. "I love you." His words made you lift your head and look into his eyes. He puts his hand under your hair to grab the back of your neck. You lean in and kiss him softly. He kisses back, and you start to deepen the kiss. He groans and pushes you back. You lay on the bed with him on top of you. He uses his other hand to pull up underneath your knee. You throw your arms around his neck and buck your hips into his. He pulls away and roughly takes your shirt off. He animalistically kisses you roughly. You feel his teeth graze your lip. He pulls away and looks over your chest. "Never seen before." You giggle. His face reddens. "You're so beautiful." He gushes. He goes back down, and his lips attack your neck. He bites down, his teeth sinking into your sink slightly. You gasp and lean your head back. You bring your hands to the end of his shirt, slightly lifting. He pulls away from you and throws his shirt off. His hands make their way to grab your breast, and he kisses you more. You feel so high on him right now. You could never get enough of him. You feel him in between your legs. "Embry, I want you." You mumble against his lips. "Right here? Right now?" He asks. "Please." You beg. "I'm still getting used to my strength." He pulls away and looks at you. "If I hurt you, tell me." He says softly. You nod your head, knowing you want him rough.

The door opens, and you both look to see Quil. He's growling, and his muscles are popping out. "You're so fucking dead." Quil says, grabbing Embry and pulling him outside. You swiftly get up and put on your shirt. You follow them, calling out for Quil to stop. As soon as you guys make it outside, Quil shifts. You're taken aback. You just saw it. A wolf. "Woah! Hey! Quil! Calm down now!" Sam stands in front of him and is stern. Embry turns back to you. "Baby, back away." He says. "No! Embry! Do not!" Sam warns but embry phases too. "Damn it." He hisses and turns to Emily. The two wolves are growling at each other and circling around Sam. "Emily! Take everyone inside. Y/n, go!" He says.

Everyone is so quick to move. Sam phases and the three wolves go at it. Paul starts laughing. Jared slaps him. "Not funny, dude. I bet she's embarrassed." Kim hisses at him. You are. You really are.

"Y/n, go ahead and take a shower. We're wrapping things up. You can rest." Emily smiles, rubbing your shoulder. You nod your head and wave bye to everyone. You take your shower and get dressed in your cute pajama set. You step out to see Quil, Embry, and Sam sitting at the table. Quil and Embry are joking with each other, and that instantly calms your nerves. You step in, and Embry smiles up at you. "I'm sorry, sis. We're all good. I'm out of your relationship unless this dude hurts you. But he won't." Quil grabs his shoulder. You smirk and then sit next to Embry. "Well then, Sam, I know I was supposed to be staying here, but I think I'll stay with Embry tonight." Sam coughs awkwardly and stands up. "That's fine! Our house is always open!" He walks out. You look to see Quil raise his eyebrows and breathe in deep. "Have fun." He says and leaves. Embry stares at you in shock. "Let's go..." He gulps.

#twilight #embry call #jacob black #jared cameron #paul lahote #sam uley #seth clearwater #twilight wolfpack #leah clearwater #quil ateara #embry call x reader

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cateyeswrites · 9 months ago

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The feeling of Falling, a feeling I thought was set in stone.

(Ambiguous partner for Lance) One late night Hunk and Lance chat

Ao3

It’s late when Lance answers Hunk's video call, he still has a mountain of students' assignments to finish grading but he could always get them done at home or in the morning if he came to school early enough. Sometimes it felt surreal to Lance that he had his life, that he had, speaking with his friends and former paladins didn't make it feel any more real.

He had been talking to Hunk about intergalactic laws that made it hard for him and Shay to adopt different alien kids that weren't Balmera when the conversation shifted to him.

"And how is teaching going?" Hunk asked, "Are you still enjoying it?"

He shrugs a small laugh slipping out, "Let's just say I kind of understand why Iverson was the dick he was to me" he chuckles sadly as that nagging feeling in his chest appears.

"Lance," Hunk says his name softly, eyes no longer shining with happiness. “ We have talked about it, what he did, the way he treated you, that is not how you treat a kid.” Hunk said, “Or am I wrong? Do you ever try to speak to your students like that? Do you make them feel small and insecure?”

Lance shrinks into himself, he knows that he would never speak to a kid the way Iverson did to him- the unnecessary cruelty that man inflicted on Lance, the way he made him feel so sad and lonely not only that but for many years Lance truly thought he had been a useless asset, a seventh wheel, some spare thing that the rest of the team had to deal with him and God was it hard to deal with those feelings but more than anything it had been so much worse to confront his teammates about the way they had made him feel, specially Pidge.

Pidge and he had been close at the beginning, they were part of the garrison trio with Hunk, they had been friends for a while back then but then after the revelation that she was a girl and Shiro disappearing, she did a 180 and had almost made it her mission to make Lance feel like an idiot and now as an adult he could understand that she was going through her own hell and dealing with her own demons, losing both her brother and father, looking through them in space but it most definitely didn't allow her to speak to him in a way it made him want to never speak again or how every time they interacted he wanted to hide.

He wishes he could have talked to Allura about it too, even in the short time they were together they never really talked about intimate things like his feelings and his experience in space or… the time he died. He didn't regret, saving Allura but till this day sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night frightened, surrounded by darkness and the feeling of falling.

“No,” he whispered and shook his head, “Of course not.” he sighed and wrapped his arms around himself.

Hunk gives him a small smile, “Have I ever told you how grateful I am for your sister?” he says as he picks up a picture on his desk.

“Huh?” he reacts confused, “Rachel?” he asks, he knew Hunk had asked for Rachel’s help once or twice for diplomatic reasons when dealing with other planets' governments.

Hunk snorts, “ NO, Veronica,” he says putting down the photo, at the new angle Lance could see it was a picture of his family and Hunk at his engagement party.

“Oh? No, I don't think we have ever talked about it.”

“When Allura died, no one knew how to help you or truly even really speak to you.” Hunk admits with some regret but there is also some acceptance like he had enough time to make peace with it. “What we went through, being kids fighting in a war changed us, and maybe not for the better but it did nonetheless.” He states, “But the way Allura and space change you Lance, it frightened me.”

Lance froze not knowing how to react to this admission.

“I had known you for so long but after coming back to earth you had shut yourself and now that years have gone through I can admit that maybe I could have done better on my end but I was also a kid.” he admits with a small smile, “ I had this fear that you were ready to give up and that Allura dying was the last straw, that you would lose everything that made lance, my best friend.” Hunk whispers and there is a sniffle and he can see Hunk whip some tears away. “ No one knew how to talk you through your grief and then you started speaking about the farm and Alluras life and message and what Allura wanted and what you wanted for her memory”

Lance can't do more than just stare at his hands hearing about this.

“ I rarely heard about you,” Hunk says and Lance nods feeling the tears build up in his eyes. “ About what you wanted to do”

“But one day on one of our group calls, you talked about Veronica and how she had told you about becoming a pilot teacher and all the help that was needed at the garrison and I saw it for a moment I saw the spark of the boy who found the Blue lion,” Hunk stops and takes a breath. “ Then you got the job and Lance…” He pauses again, “ It was like you were back.”

Lance remembers he remembers very well how Veronica was the only one who didn't tip-toe around him and his emotions. How she one day burst into his room and ripped his sheets away from him and yelled at him, crying, feeling scared because even tho he wasn't dead she felt like she had lost her brother. That day he got up and spent the whole day at the garrison helping out, by accident meeting the new cadets. It had been love at first sight. He laughs thinking about Allura and his supposed love for her, yeah not even his spouse could rival his love for his job and the kids.

Lance tries to say something but it gets stuck in his throat and gives Hunk a teary smile, hunk gives him one back, and they stay in silence for a bit when he feels his phone vibrate and there is a new message

1 new text message

Hey I know is a late night at the school but the kids are asking for you.

1 new text message

And I miss you

1 new text message

And they are asking for your cooking.

He snorts and wipes his eyes with his sleeve.

The sound catches hunks attention, “ Everything okay?” he asks but he has a huge smile on his face having a suspicion of who was texting him.

“Yeah yeah dude,” he answers with a bright smile and a more cheerful tone.

“ Your other job?” Hunk jokes, amusement, and endearment in his tone.

“Well you know what they say,” he shrugged, “ Being a dad is a full-time job even when you already have a full-time job,” he says packing some stuff in his bag, to him seems like he had done enough work for today and honestly the only thing he wanted was going home and be with his family.

His kids and his spouse.

Hunk laughs and observes Lance getting ready to leave, he smiles proudly at his best friend.

“You know Hunk,” he says looking at his best friend leaving on the desk, “I'm also grateful for my sister,” he says. “If it wasn't for her who knows where I would be,”

Hunk decides to avoid thinking of that, “ I don't know buddy but you are here, you are happy and that is the most important thing.”

“ Yeah, you are right,” he says, “ I'll see you, buddy, I expect you to come over soon, I miss you,” he says honestly.

“I will try my best to be home soon,” he replies, “ Love you, buddy,”

“ Love ya, buddy,” he answers and hangs up the call.

After he presses the button, he stays there thinking, where would he be if Veronica hadn't dragged his ass out of his grief? Would he be happy? Would he be alone? No partner and no kids? Would he have a purpose or a career?

He shakes his head and smiles even when some tears make it out and go down his cheeks. ‘

He is happy, very happy. He has proved everyone who doubted him wrong.

He is very successful as a teacher and earth's best snipper, he is the favorite teacher and sometimes the favorite parent.

He is no seventh wheel, he was voltrons blue paladin.

He breathes in calming his urge to cry and looks down at his phone with a picture of his kids.

And if he feels a very cool sensation surround him almost as if blue was there again with him, hugging him. That's just a bonus to how good he feels after his conversation with Hunk.

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supercorps-imaginesetc · 3 months ago

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Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal Playlist

Here's a bit from a playlist I made for Agatha x Rio (There's a lot of angsty songs) - Admin Cam

playlist link

master list

"Shake the Frost" by Tyler Childers

So if it'd make you stay I wouldn't act so angry all the time I wouldn't keep it all inside And I'd let you know how much I loved you every day So, darlin', will you stay right here and shake this frost off of my bones?

Post-Nicholas, Agatha is angry at Rio for taking Nicholas but also struggles with the fact that Rio is the one she loves. It's Angst City, essentially.

This could also be a pre-Nicky moment with Agatha learning how to open up and accept love after being burned so much by people before.

"The Prophecy" by Taylor Swift

Please, I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo the prophecy?

Ever since watching the show, when I hear this song, it just makes me think of Agatha begging Rio for more time with Nicky. But there's only so much Rio can do. Rio can't change the prophecy for even her love.

Makes me want to sob thinking about it to this song tbh

"Waiting Room" by Phoebe Bridgers

I wanna be the power ballad that lifts you up and holds you down I wanna be the broken love song that feeds your misery And I can wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together Plus, I know whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better And when broken bodies are washed ashore Who am I to ask for more, more, more? But you're breathing in my open mouth You're the gun in my lips that will blow my brains out

This gives me angsty Rio thinking about her and Agatha vibes. I can't explain it, but it just does.

"We're In Love" by boygenius

You could absolutely break my heart That's how I know that we're in love I don't need the symbol of a scar So, put down the knife We're not swapping blood ... If you rewrite your life, may I still play a part? In the next one, will you find me?

NO MATTER WHAT AGATHA AND RIO WILL FIND EACH OTHER.

Even after the heartbreak of losing Nicky, they will always find each other. Their lives are intertwined. Along with this, Rio and Nicky are literally the only people that could break Agatha's heart. They're the only ones that have ever and could ever have that power over her.

"In the Woods Somewhere" by Hozier

I clutched my life And wished it kept My dearest love, I'm not done yet How many years I know I'll bear I found something in the woods somewhere

Agatha finds her love, Lady Death, in the woods. This one also has the vibes of their relationship that I can't quite explain.

"The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird" by Rachel Zegler

It's sooner than later that I'm six feet under It's sooner than later that you'll be alone So, who will you turn to tomorrow, I wonder? For when the bell rings, lover, you're on your own I am the one who you let see you weeping I know the soul that you struggled to save Too bad I'm the bet that you lost in the reaping Now, what will you do when I go to my grave?

Agatha will eventually die. There will be a time when Rio won't have Agatha, and that is heartbreaking for our star-crossed lovers.

"Where do we go now?" by Gracie Abrams

I know I changed overnight So I can't blame you for fightin' And I'd be losin' my mind If you lived in your writin' 'Cause now I'm half of myself here without you You're the best in my life and I lost you And we had no control when it fell through It was one-sided, hate how I hurt you If I could, I'd have changed every feelin'

Agatha regrets pushing Rio away after she takes Nicky away. Deep down, she knows Rio has to do it, but it kills her. In the end, Rio is the only other person who understands her pain and that she has ever loved besides their son.

"Chinese Satellite" by Phoebe Bridgers

Took a tour to see the stars But they weren't out tonight So, I wished hard on a Chinese satellite I want to believe Instead, I look at the sky, and I feel nothing You know I hate to be alone I want to be wrong

Post-Nicholas, Agatha is dealing with the loss of her two loves. She's trying to believe that Nicholas isn't disappointed in who she has become, and that's hard for her to do.

"cowboy like me" by Taylor Swift

You're a bandit like me Eyes full of stars Hustling for the good life Never thought I'd meet you here It could be love We could be the way forward And I know I'll pay for it

Imagine Agatha and Rio were both bandits and cons together. Like happy Agatha and Rio pleeeaasssee

"Like Real People Do" by Hozier

I knew that look, dear Eyes always seeking Was there in someone That dug long ago So, I will not ask you Why you were creeping In some sad way, I already know

This song gives major Agatha falling in love with The Green Witch. Especially an Agatha that is pre-finding-the-darkhold

"Please Stay" by Lucy Dacus

You tell me you love me, like it'll be the last time Like you're playing out, the end of a storyline I say I love you too, because it's true What else am I supposed to do? Maybe bar the door when you move to leave

This song is in fact, the song I cry to

Tell me this song doesn't give Agatha dealing with the loss of her and Rio's son (or dealing with the inevitability of losing them).

After she loses Nicky and Rio is gone, Agatha has to sing the song that she made with Nicky every day, and it reminds her of him and Rio. Every time she sings it and sees things that remind her of the two, it just twists the knife more in the wound of her being alone. After having everything she could have wanted, she's alone, being reminded every single day of what she lost.

#i hope this wasn't too boring #admin cam #playlist #agatha #rio #agatha all along #aaa #agatha x rio #agatha harkness #rio vidal #agatha harkness x rio vidal #marvel #kathryn hahn #aubrey plaza

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thollandsgirl2013 · 2 months ago

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𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

Parings → Frat! Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings → angst, fluff

Summary → A familiar face, a changed heart, and a chance at redemption—will it end differently?

(gif not mine)

You didn’t want to come here, but here you are, standing awkwardly in the corner of a frat house, surrounded by strangers. Your roommate, Rachel, begged you to go with her because her crush would be at this party, and she couldn’t possibly go alone. It was Friday, and the idea of staying in your dorm room sounded boring, so you caved. Now, however, you were seriously regretting your decision. Rachel had found her crush the moment you walked through the door and was already having a good time, leaving you to navigate this chaotic mess alone.

You glanced around the room, overwhelmed by the booming music, people dancing on a makeshift dance floor, and the suffocating heat from the packed bodies. You didn’t know anyone here, and the last thing you wanted to do was make small talk with a bunch of strangers. Trying to find some reprieve, you made your way to the kitchen, hoping for something non-alcoholic to drink. After rummaging through a few bottles, you finally spotted some cranberry juice and poured yourself a cup.

Sipping on your juice, you leaned against the counter and scanned the room, hoping to find something familiar to anchor you. That's when your eyes landed on someone you never thought you’d see in a place like this.

A familiar mop of curls.

Your heart skipped a beat. It can’t be him, you thought, your chest tightening. Peter Parker. Your high school crush. The boy who broke your heart when he rejected you for Liz.

But this… this didn’t look like the Peter you remembered. The Peter Parker you knew in high school was shy, awkward, and introverted. He hated parties, avoided attention, and only ever hung out with Ned and Michelle. He was sweet in his own awkward way, with a boyish smile and nervous energy.

The boy standing in front of you, however, was nothing like that. This Peter was confident, standing tall in tight clothes that showed off the muscles he’d apparently gained since high school. He was wearing a chain around his neck, a few rings on his fingers, a backward cap and a smirk on his face that screamed trouble. He was surrounded by a group of guys and girls, laughing and joking in a way that made him seem like the center of attention.

Your mind raced, trying to reconcile this version of Peter with the one you’d spent so much time pining over in high school. How had he changed so much?

You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice one of the guys in Peter’s group point in your direction and say something to him. By the time you snapped out of it, Peter was walking toward you, his eyes locked on yours.

He stopped a few feet away, his smirk still in place. “You like the view, or are you just staring into space?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “I—uh—sorry, I just… I wasn’t expecting to see you here. You’ve changed.”

Peter raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You know me?”

You swallowed hard, feeling a pang in your chest. Of course, he wouldn’t remember you. Why would he? “Yeah. Well, I knew you. Back in high school. Y/n Y/l/n—does it ring a bell?”

Peter tilted his head, feigning thoughtfulness. “Y/n Y/l/n… Hmm, sounds familiar.”

Your stomach twisted at the casualness of it all, but you pressed on, hating yourself for bringing it up. “I asked you to homecoming. Remember?”

“Oh!” His face lit up with sudden recognition, and he chuckled. “You’re the girl I rejected.”

He said it so casually, as if it was nothing. Like it hadn’t meant anything to him, even though it had crushed you back then. You felt heat rise to your face, embarrassment mixing with the sting of old feelings.

“Yeah, that’s me,” you muttered, looking down at your feet. “I-I should go.”

You turned to leave, but you barely took a step before Peter followed, keeping pace with you. His voice was light, teasing, as he called after you, “You still like me, huh?”

You stopped in your tracks and spun around, glaring at him. “Does that even matter?”

Peter’s smirk only widened. “Come on, don’t be like that. We could go upstairs.....have some fun, you know?”

Your eyes narrowed. His cocky attitude was infuriating. This wasn’t the Peter you remembered at all. “Fun? Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.” He winked, leaning in a little closer. “Maybe you just haven’t gotten to know this version of me yet.”

You felt a rush of anger and disbelief. Was he seriously flirting with you right now? The same guy who had rejected you without a second thought back in high school? And now he wanted to play games with you?

“Peter, I don’t know what happened to you, but I don’t want any part of this,” you said, trying to push past him.

But before you could move, he grabbed your wrist gently, pulling you back just enough to stop you. His smirk faltered for a moment, replaced by something more genuine. “Wait.”

You looked at him, confused. “What?”

Peter’s expression softened, and for the first time that night, he looked like the Peter you used to know—the boy with the shy smile who always kept to himself. “I’m sorry, Y/n. I didn’t mean to be such an ass.”

You blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift in his tone. “What’s with the change of heart?”

He ran a hand through his curls, looking a little sheepish. “Look, I know I’ve changed. And maybe not for the better. After high school… after everything with Liz and MJ, I just—I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. The shy, awkward kid who couldn’t get anything right. I wanted to be different. More confident, but… I don’t know. Maybe I went too far.”

You didn’t know what to say. This was not the conversation you’d expected to have tonight.

Peter hesitated, his eyes searching yours. “I know I was a jerk back in high school, and tonight too. But I remember you, Y/n. You were always nice to me. You… you liked me without knowing all my baggage. Maybe… maybe we could start over.”

“Start over?” You echoed, your voice wary. “How?”

Peter smiled, this time without the cocky edge. “Let me take you out. On a date.”

You stared at him, your heart racing. “A date? After all this time? Why?”

“Because,” he said, stepping a little closer, his voice lowering. “Maybe I want to get to know the girl who saw something in me before I even knew who I was.”

Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t know what to say. Part of you wanted to slap him for being so arrogant earlier, but another part of you—a much larger part—felt your heart soften at the sincerity in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. “You really hurt me back then.”

Peter’s face fell, and he nodded, looking genuinely regretful. “I know. And I’m sorry for that. I can’t change the past, but… I’d like a chance to make it up to you.”

You hesitated, the weight of your old feelings mingling with the uncertainty of this new version of Peter. But then, looking into his eyes, you saw a flicker of the boy you used to know—the boy you once liked, who might still be there underneath all the changes.

“Alright,” you said, your voice soft but steady. “One date. But you better not screw it up.”

Peter grinned, that familiar boyish smile returning. “Deal. I won’t let you down, Y/n.”

You couldn’t help but smile back, feeling the tiniest flicker of hope. Maybe this time, things would be different.

‎∗ ࣪ ˖༺ 𓆩☆𓆪 ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

#peter parker fanfiction #peter parker spiderman #peter parker #thollandsgirl2013 #tomholland2013 #tom holland spiderman #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fluff #spider man #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction

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avengersfantasies · 1 year ago

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Anymore - Chapter 7

Summary: Bucky tells you to do whatever you need in order to move on from Steve.

What to expect: fluff, angst

Masterlist here

taglist: @kandis-mom @missvelvetsstuff @mavrellover91 @natashasilverfox @vicmc624 @blackhawkfanatic @haruvalentine4321 @felicitylemon @vonalyn @aboobie @stinkerbelle007 @crist1216 @je-suis-prest-rachel @buckysforeverprincess @bathwater101 @frickin-bats @lovely-geek @winterslove1917 @opheliabarnes

There was an immediate change in your demeanor, and Bucky noticed it.

“Babydoll?” he softly spoke – wanting to know what had been sent to you. “Is everything alright?” You sniffled and wiped the tears from your cheeks before handing him the phone. When he saw what had been sent to you, he grew furious. Without thinking, Bucky typed up and sent a response.

When you realized what he had done, you glared at the super soldier.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you scoffed – snatching your phone from him. “I already have one of you being an asshole…last thing I need is for both of you to be dicks.”

Bucky closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Just can’t stand it when he hurts you.”

“Please don’t stoop to his level, Buck,” you pleaded with teary eyes.

He looked down and nodded. “It won’t happen again, babydoll.”

You absentmindedly nodded, and your hand made its way to your stomach – starting to rub the small baby bump. Bucky looked down and noticed this – watching your hand move back and forth slowly. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t know if he should ask or not. He wanted so badly to make you feel like you weren’t alone in this situation, but he was afraid that you wouldn’t let him actually do it.

“C-Can I uh,” he began stuttering – hovering his hand over yours. “Would you-you mind if I—”

“Please,” you practically pleaded with tears in your eyes.

Bucky gently kissed your lips with his, and he carefully placed his hand on top of your small baby bump. His hand slowly and lovingly rubbed the little bump while your tongues danced. There was something about his touch that made you feel whole. The moment was something you never wanted to end, but unfortunately, the sound of a text message broke the two of you apart with a sigh.

“Should we talk to him?” you asked Bucky softly – needing him to help guide you through this.

His metal hand rubbed your back. “I can’t tell you,” he answered with a trace of regret in his voice. “As much as I want to be with you and help you raise this little one…I can’t tell you what to do…I can only support your decisions.”

You looked to him with tear-filled eyes. “Would you?”

“Would I what?”

“Support my decisions?” you clarified. “No matter what?”

He nodded and rubbed your cheek with his thumb. “No matter what.”

You looked down and felt yourself forget how to speak. “W-Wou-Would you think I’m like…crazy or something if-if I felt that Steve and I needed a like…if we needed like one more time together?”

“As in…break-up sex?” You silently nodded – instantly feeling ashamed of yourself. “Is…that something you want?”

“I want you, Buck,” you sniffled.

The super soldier gently held your face in his hands. “Then you listen to me, babydoll,” he spoke softly – getting your eyes to look up at his. “You do what you need to so that you and I can move on with our life together, okay?”

“Even if that means Steve and I need to—”

“Yes,” he interrupted. “Even if that means you need one more time with him…do what you need to do, baby…I’m not going anywhere.”

Without saying anything, you pulled him to your lips and kissed him deeply. His hands held your hips, and the two of you swallowed each other’s moans – the feeling of your tongues inside each other’s mouths was a feeling neither of you wanted to ever let go of. Finally, though, you pulled away from him and nodded – your forehead against his. “I’ll do what I have to do.”

“I’ll see the two of you tomorrow,” Bucky smiled softly – planting a kiss on your belly.

You smiled and blushed hard. “Yes you will.”

You stood outside Steve’s room, too nervous to bring yourself to knock on the door. It was now or never though. You knew you needed to get this over with. You and Steve needed to come to an understanding and agree on the situation with the baby. Knowing that Bucky was supporting your decisions before you even made them gave you a burst of strength, and you knocked on the door gently. Steve must’ve been waiting because it took him mere seconds to open the door.

“Hey beautiful,” he greeted you with a soft smile and stood to the side. “Come in.”

You didn’t respond, instead, you just nodded and walked into his room.

“Steve,” you began – your hands picking at each other from nervousness. “We need to...figure this out.”

“I agree,” he sighed – leading you over to sit on his bed with him. It was quiet for a few moments while the two of you thought about what to say and where to start. “So…Bucky?”

You blushed and looked down. “Uh…yeah…Didn’t mean for you to hear.”

“It was hard not to,” he chuckled. “Seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

“Steve,” you snapped – looking up at him. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Make this about Bucky,” you answered. “Steve…what is it going to take for us to move on from each other?”

He chuckled incredulously. “Well, you’re carrying our baby,” he reminded you. “Do we really need to move on from each other?”

“You said it yourself,” you reminded him. “We’re bad together.”

“It’s not just about us anymore,” he insisted. “There’s a baby involved…and I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna be there.”

“You can be there,” you told him. “I’m not saying you can’t.”

“But I’m supposed to be okay with you being with Bucky?” he scoffed. “So, what? Bucky’s gonna be our baby’s stepdad?”

“No one said that,” you argued back. “But I’m with him, and he’s with me.”

Steve chuckled. “So, now you’re a couple? Wow, you moved on quick.”

“You moved on before we even broke up.”

“And I ended that relationship,” he reminded you. “For you…for us.”

You tearfully looked into his blue eyes. “Bucky told me to do whatever I had to so we could move on,” you told him. “So, what is it gonna take for us to move on?”

Without a word, Steve pulled you to him and planted his lips to yours.

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forabeatofadrum · 2 months ago

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Ever After (22/22) - COMPLETE

Notes: I did it! I finished it before the 25th! 🥳

Thank you @klaineadvent for hosting, as usual! Till the next advent.

AO3 | S&C

–

EPILOGUE

One year later

Tickets to New York Comic Con are way too expensive.

Blaine would know, since the credits that his parents gave him a year ago are, to no one’s surprise, utterly useless. He and Kurt had to pay in dollars!

But it’s a special occasion. It’s a reunion of the cast of The Cooper Chronicles movies, including the actor who played Blaine. But they’re not here for him. They’re here because B.D. Dalton is making an appearance, which is basically unheard of.

B.D. loves her privacy and has barely made any public appearance since the final movie came out. But she’s made an exception for the anniversary.

“I am going to see my creator,” Blaine mutters and he and Kurt take a seat in the convention hall.

“Yup.”

“So weird.”

“She won’t know, though.”

Of course she won’t. Apart from Kurt, no one knows the truth. Kurt and Blaine have created a story for Blaine. He’s Blaine Anderson, originally from a town in the middle of nowhere in America, and he’s lost his parents in an accident, so he moved to the big city to start anew. He and Kurt met in New York, but lost contact. Blaine then found Kurt again, and no one can disprove it. It helps that Santana believed herself to be high when Blaine arrived. She totally hallucinated this fire portal! What a trip!

It also helps that no time had passed on Earth when Kurt was in Daltonia. That was a huge relief for Kurt. No worried friends and family! No awkward explanation of where he’d been for days! When Blaine heard, he was happy for Kurt, although he did wonder if that means that time in Daltonia is now stopped.

But Kurt didn’t think so.

“I never belonged in Daltonia, so the world I am from was halted to a stop while I was there. You, on the other hand, do belong on Earth now,” Kurt had explained, and he had a reason for thinking that Blaine was at home on Earth. It’s thanks to his mother.

It’s been a year since Blaine moved to this world, and he’s getting used to it. He doesn’t regret his choice, especially since he now lives with Kurt, Rachel and Santana in the loft. Waking up next to Kurt is a dream come true, and it makes it all okay. He’s still as directionless as before, and even more so, since he has to adjust to a new world, but he’s also more optimistic than ever.

The panel starts and Kurt and Blaine applaud loudly, together with the many other fans.

It starts off rather boringly. Everyone talks about their experiences filming the movies and what not. Blaine hasn’t seen the movies. He still hasn’t even read the books. Maybe he never will. It is still too strange for him.

But when it’s time for the audience to ask questions, he sits up.

Kurt’s hand flies up.

“Yes, you,” the moderator points towards him.

Kurt stands up. He talks about how much he loves the book series and the movies, and how happy he is to see B.D. in the flesh.

“My question is for B.D.,” he continues, “If any of your characters would come to life, what would you say to them?”

“Any?” B.D. asks.

Kurt nods.

“Well, that is easy. I would tell them I love them,” she says with a warm smile, and Blaine instantly believes her.

The audience also coos and awwwws.

Blaine also raises his hand.

“Yes, with the bowtie?” the moderator says.

Kurt sits down and Blaine gets up instead.

“Uh, hi B.D.”

“Hello,” she says back.

“If, uh- Imagine your world were real. Daltonia were real. And it would exist alongside this one, do you think it’d be possible for people between them to be connected?”

B.D. blinks a couple of times. She did not expect that question, which is fair, because it sounds ridiculous. Only Kurt and Blaine know the truth.

“I don’t think so, because Daltonia is a world of fiction,” she answers, obviously. She frowns. “May I ask… Connected how?”

“Well, I found out that the character of queen Pamela was originally planned for another book. You repurposed her for this series.”

“True.”

“And, uh, what if- I mean… What if because of that, queen Pamela would always be a bit, uh, off within the world of Daltonia?”

That is Kurt and Blaine’s theory. When Kurt found out about queen Pamela’s character, he immediately started theorising. What if queen Pamela also didn’t fully belong in Daltonia, even though she never knew? And if so, then her child may be the same. Maybe that is why Kurt, who definitely didn’t belong in Daltonia, reacted towards Blaine’s potions and why Blaine was able to read the books, even though they came from a different world.

It’s a theory, though, and they may never get an answer. Definitely not now. B.D. Dalton seems absolutely confused by Blaine’s question, and of course she is.

“Never- Never mind,” Blaine says. It was a bit unfair to expect an answer from B.D.

“No, it is an interesting thought!” B.D. reassures him, “Pamela did come from a story that took place on Earth, even though it was still a work of fiction. And I hope I didn’t write her as an outsider, but it’s true she’s the one character who wasn’t originally created for Daltonia. So who knows?”

It’s an open question to a weird question, but Blaine takes it.

“Yeah. Who knows? Thank you.”

Blaine sits down again. Kurt puts his hand on Blaine’s leg and they continue listening to the panel. At one point, another fan asks if B.D. has ever thought about continuing the series in any way, be it through a sequel, a prequel, or something set in Daltonia.

“No, Daltonia is over for me,” B.D. says, “I have said it before, and I’ll say it again: I have no interests in revisiting it. I think the books ended where I wanted it to end, and I don’t want to risk besmirching that.”

“But you’ve really never thought about what the characters would be up to now?” the fan presses on.

“Never,” B.D. says with a smile, “I have no control over the Chronicles Club anymore. I’d like to think stories live on, even without the author’s interference. And you are free to use your own imaginations, but for me, I have let them go on.”

Kurt squeezes Blaine’s leg and their eyes meet. They share a look. They know that B.D. is right, and it’s their inside joke in a way.

The panel ends. The moderator thanks everyone for coming and the cast and B.D. leave the stage with a huge applause. Then, the convention room slowly empties.

Blaine follows Kurt out, but it’s so crowded, and he loses Kurt in the crowd. That’s fine. Blaine’s adapted to this nifty device called a cell phone. He can call Kurt. He first follows the stream of people, just to be sure, but it’s no use.

Blaine has to make the phone call. He can do it.

He sneaks off to another room, opening a door without reading the sign. He needs a quiet spot.

“Oh.”

Blaine looks up.

B.D. Dalton and two other people are standing in this small room. Blaine must’ve accidentally gone backstage, or what they call it.

“Sorry, sorry, I wanted to make a phone call!” Blaine sounds apologetic, “I will… leave.”

“Wait a minute,” B.D. says. Blaine stops in his tracks. “You asked the question about queen Pamela.”

“Uh. Yeah.”

“… What was your name?” B.D. asks and she looks at him, really looks at him.

“Blaine. Blaine of- Anderson.”

“Blaine,” B.D. says with a hushed voice. Her eyes are basically staring into his soul. Does she recognise him for who he really is?

That is silly.

“Like the prince,” she says, sounding awed and confused, as if she’s glad to see him but can’t understand why.

“Like the prince,” Blaine confirms with a smile. If only she knew.

She keeps looking at Blaine for a while. The other people in the room are confused. But then she quickly shakes her head and laughs quietly, as if she’s realising something funny. The moment has passed.

“Nice to meet you, Blaine,” she says, voice normal and professional, “Now go before security thinks you’re a stalker.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Blaine leaves the room with his heart beating in his chest. For a moment, B.D. recognised him. She might believe it was silly of her, but she did. Blaine doesn’t know what that means, but it makes him feel happy and warm.

“Oh, there you are!”

Kurt walks towards Blaine.

“Sweetheart, I lost you in the crowd.”

“I’m here!” Blaine says. His face is glowing. He is so happy. Kurt notices.

“Anything interesting going on?”

“I will tell you later,” he says, “At home.”

He first needs to sit with it for a while. He’ll probably never speak B.D. Dalton again, but it’s fine. He has this moment.

“Ready?” Kurt takes Blaine’s hand. They’re going to a merch hall. It’s going to be weird to see different interpretations of Cooper in fanart.

Blaine gives Kurt a quick kiss.

“Yes. Lead the way.”

End notes: And that's a wrap for this year. Thank you all for reading and coming along on this ride. I had a lot of fun writing it, and it reminded me how much I love writing Klaine. We all love Klaine! That's why we're here, eh?

I also had a lot of fun creating Daltonia. Maybe I'll make a post with my inspirations for this fic, but that will have to wait. Now, I am going to celebrate the holidays with family. Goodnight, and till next year (which is in a few days)!

#klaine #glee #december klaine fanworks challenge 2024 #multichaptered #2024 #holy fuck I wrote

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transx-mogai-cafe · 2 months ago

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Hi. I thought I might send you an ask because your blog feels like a safe place for it.

I was doing a little research and trying to figure where the earliest transabled advocates are now. It turned out that the woman who had identified as transblind and blinded herself with drain cleaner did an AMA on Reddit. She confessed that her psychiatrist had had a fetish for blind women, and that he had gaslit her into believing that she had BIID and convinced her to go through with blinding herself. She said she regrets what she did and that she intends to pursue legal action. I feel terrible for her, and I hope she gets justice. But I’m also scared for what this means for the transabled movement at large.

I’m a transgender person, and I know how much the small percentage of detransitioners and desistors have been used by conservatives to push transgender identities further and further out of society. And detransition/desistance for transabled identities has got to be worse. With a transgender identity, the worst that usually happens to detransitioners is dysphoria, which is terrible but not the same as lifelong loss of an ability. The transgender community has mostly fought back against these attacks by conservatives by pointing out how tiny the detransition rate is. But we don’t know the size of the transabled detransition or regret rate. I think our best argument is that the right to bodily autonomy means that some people are going to inevitably make choices they might regret. But I wanted to hear your thoughts. I think we need to deal with the issue of regret before it becomes a weapon for those opposing transableism.

Hi! I'm honestly very flattered you sent this ask here as a safe space, which I do honestly try to be for well-intentioned discussion surrounding transid and queer identities.

Mind you I tend to type partial responses, save as draft, continue, save, etc. so these also may end up not nearly as cohesive as I may like but hopefully I'll be able to contribute discussion to your points.

So I first want to start off by stating, without trying to minimize the personal impact this woman's experience has had in her own life, that Ms. Shuping is basically the transabled Rachel Dolezal to the general public. By that I mean, news outlets started reporting on instances of what we now call transidentities in the mid 2010's as transgender talking points were starting to come up more in public discussion. She was made an example of in the public eye (as Dolezal was) in regards to the "slippery slope" argument of "if you can choose your gender, what's stopping you from identifying as literally anything else??" <- said as if that's somehow a bad thing. She is the first and usually only example ever brought up whenever transability is mentioned outside of our own spaces, usually by people trying to make a "gotcha that's why this is bad!" point.

With that being said, obviously it does sound like the went through something awful. And unfortunately you are correct that her story was and, as I've mentioned, still is used as an anti-morphological freedom talking point. This is because it is apparently easier and more satisfying to point and mock at others considered societally incongruent than to try and break down the bigger picture here - that being the (USA) healthcare system and the power imbalance providers have over patients.

When it comes to transgender/transsex "detransitioning", I actually have very mixed feelings on what "the best" talking points are. "There aren't that many anyways" sounds in line with "born this way" is that, sure I guess that might possibly be true in at least most instances...... but would it matter if that wasn't true? I feel we do ourselves a disservice in the long run attempting to minimize our existence in order to be accepted. Even if they may (arguably) help us in the short term, we start running into issues in the long term. We know that as transgender/sex acceptance has risen, so has the number of people who consider themselves as such. So statistically, it's more likely that there will also be more people overall that figure out they're actually cisgender/sex, even if it were a consistently small percentage of that population.

Given this, my current thinking is that you are correct - our best argument is that the right to bodily autonomy means that some people are going to inevitably make choices they might regret. And this is true for any and all morphological freedom. Some people will have invasive genital surgery because they feel its best for them in that moment to do so and then regret it later. Some people will have abortions and then regret doing so. Or have sterilization surgery up to and including organ removal for cisgender/sex people as well as trans. And some people, yes, will have some other non-reproductive organ removed or ability purposely lost and then wish later that they had not. What we need to instill is that none of these are good arguments for taking away bodily autonomy. There are many other avenues that we can discuss in trying to help minimize regret rates for any changes to oneself, but taking away bodily autonomy should never be answer. Unfortunately, due to this being a complicated issue because humans are complicated and the answer for every individual isn't going to be an easy straight-forward one, most people just prefer to not even engage with it and just ban things whole-cloth. Not like it affects them any, right?

This is getting pretty long and rambly already, so even if I haven't addressed all your points I hope you still get something out of it? And anyone who wants to contribute is of course always welcome and encouraged to!

#transabled #transx #transid #answered question #discussion #transgender #transsex #long post

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 8 months ago

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Yooo when you said that Dick felt (subconsciously) that Jason had been treated better by Bruce than he had, so he gave Gar and Rachel preferential treatment over Jason to make up for him being the ‘favourite,’ when actually Jason feels the total opposite, he feels that Dick is the favourite and that no matter where he goes he’s second-class 😱😱😱 that makes so much sense…

It's wild, because they never actually talked to each other about their experiences with Bruce. They did, but they didn't.

That first episode with them together has so much juice omg.

Because it's clear that Jason idolizes Bruce so much - and by extension, idolizes Dick - and maybe Bruce did that 'older sibling' thing where he treated Dick like crap while he was taking care of Dick but now that Dick is out of the house and no longer under his care, he is spouting endless praise about Dick to Jason which makes Jason idolize Dick even further.

So when Jason comes to find Dick via the tracker (which, again, I don't think he had Bruce's approval to do so, I think he fully lied about that) - he has this picture of a very shiny perfect Dick built up in his mind - someone who got along with Bruce so well because Bruce praises him so much and only hand-picks the happiest, prettiest stories to tell. (And if Dick could be a fly on the wall and hear Bruce talking about Dick to Jason, going over certain stories/memories of things that happened between Dick and Bruce, Dick would probably recount those times a lot differently.)

So Dick tries his hardest to slash through this very happy shining idealistic imagery that Jason has of Bruce and Dick, and Jason probably just thinks that Dick is having a bad day, or that he's upset because of things that are happening in other areas of his life, etc. And ultimately the day ends with Jason pissed off at Dick because Jason is very confident that his life is fine - he is Robin, he kicks ass, he gets to work for Batman - his life is amazing. Dick is the insecure adult still wearing a child's costume and still stumbling to figure out his life.

Jason is confident that everything Dick has said about Bruce is wrong.

At this point, Jason has been working for Bruce for about a year. So he probably thinks that any mistreatment Bruce has done to him or any comparisons he has made to Dick (telling him that he's not as good as Dick's Robin was) - were because he was not good enough. When Jason was about to jump off the roof, he lists a long laundry list of issues he had - going back to childhood, going back to juvie. So Bruce would not have been the first adult figure in his life to tell him he's not good enough.

Actually (this is another realization I am just having as a type this) - if Jason had been training with Bruce for an entire year, hearing old war stories about Dick's Robin for an entire year, hearing Bruce compare him to an ideal (and probably fictional) version of Dick for an entire year - it's likely that Jason probably looked up Dick's tracker and sought him out in order to meet Dick so that he could ask him for advice/ask him for tips about being Robin and dealing with Bruce because he was sick of not being good enough. And he used the Melting Man case as an excuse to track Dick down and meet him - but he just wanted approval from Dick and eventually, praise from Bruce for learning from 'the best'.

But he didn't get what he was looking for.

Because Dick and Jason were both raised by a dysfunctional, emotionally closed off parent - but either of them ever spoke about it.

Something that really gets me is when Jason and Bruce are having that conversation in the alleyway, and Jason says "You never did this ('this' being - forcing him to retire from being Robin) to Dick. You just kept on giving him more, and more. What's so bad about me?"

One - Bruce never forced Dick to retire from being Robin, but he clearly regrets it

Two - Dick never retired from being Robin, but he had to escape to San Francisco and start up the Titans to feel relief from the emotional pressure that Bruce put on him

Three - Jason ends the statement with 'what's so bad about me?' - because he genuinely feels like he is The Bad sibling and Dick is The Good sibling, and he is constantly living in Dick's shadow, when Bruce fucked them both over in different ways, and Dick didn't start being a good person until he left Bruce's care and was able to correct the lack of emotional growth on his own (well into his 30s)

And yeah - it comes back to both of them thinking that the other got preferential treatment. Dick thinks that Jason was doted on and preferred as the second 'replacement' Robin, and so when Jason comes to stay at the Tower, he treats Jason tougher and dotes on Rachel and Gar (and like Gar said, it is partially because he murdered Gar under mind control and he is afraid to seem angry or seem like it was intentional - he is trying to 'apologize' for that, but it is also a subconscious or fully conscience grudge toward Jason).

It is wild to think about the fact that they never honestly talked about their experiences with Bruce with each other.

#beginnerblueglass #dc titans #dicussion #sundrop answers #dick grayson #hbo titans #titans 2018 #jason todd #batboys

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elusiveweekend · 2 months ago

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seeing you active always makes me happy. hope your holiday season is amazing! what do you think emma and scott’s first christmas with ruby/megan would be like? do you think the cuckoos, rachel, or illyana (honorary first daughter) would also be there?

awww. thank you! graduate school is kicking my ass tbh so i've been spending more time offline nowadays 🥹

BUT yes. yes yes yes.

okay so i feel like... their first xmas with megan would be so so cute (meg is the first born in my every scemma! parents au so). i think emma would definitely dress her up in a cute outfit and never ever stop taking pictures. scott would tie her hair into pigtails (because emma is, in fact, only good at doing her own hair) and keep carrying her next to the window so she gets to enjoy her first snow. he would also give her the star for the christmas tree and help her place it to the top. and YES the cuckoos, illyana and rachel would be there. although im pretty sure illyana would lowkey regret it 😭

rachel would occasionally steal her for snack trips to the kitchen (emma does not allow megan to have too much sugar, but whoops! guess rachel forgot! :))

and because this is the house of frost-summers, in a few years there'd be more siblings in the house! i don't know why -- ok i ACTUALLY do: it's probably megan's adaptation as this real mature kid on xmen the end -- but megan gives me too mature for her own sake eldest daughter vibes. i feel like once ruby and her twin (RUBY HAS A TWIN. very important. very mindful. very demure) would be little menaces and would keep messing with meg, the cuckoos and rachel (illyana is too scary) while they're minding their own businesses.

highkey ruby being a little fuck and always annoying the rest of her siblings is one of my favorite family hcs im ngl.

also as a side note, some physical hc's: megan summers is a brunette and except for her eyes (she has emma's eyes) a carbon copy of scott. ruby is blonde BUT she gets it from one of her uncles because emma is a bottle blonde. overall, she has more of emma's features on her. besides her powers, you can only see scott's eyebrows, eyes and shoulders on her.

last but not least i named ruby's twin christian after emma's brother (because fuck alex? i cant remember why they named their son alex in that au emma would never do that?) and he can do chlorokinesis<3 (honestly summers kids need powers other than telepathy & telekinesis it's getting boring atp)

ty for asking for an adhd girlie's hcs!! <3 have a good one x

#this is a utopia worked au btw so dont think of the dystopian au's!!#also i would not call myself a havok hater but unless im the one writing him i do hate him<3 #its complicated. i blame marvel for always making him a dick.#listen one cannot stan polaris and like havok so idc no bullying #scott summers #emma frost #scemma #megan summers #ruby summers #rachel summers #illyana rasputin #stepford cuckoos #cyclops

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munchkin1156 · 2 months ago

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Secret Santa!!!

(@gt-jar, I sent the ask to drafts and it disappeared, completely gone, nowhere to be found, so I'll just tag you now so you know I've done it)

@space-hiboux!

HEY NIFTY!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

It was me. I was your Secret Santa. Surprise!!

This was a lot of fun to write, and the world they’re in is so cool! I hope the characters aren’t too off… Anyways, please sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Word count: 1953

. . .

The snow fell softly upon the town. It covered the streets and the houses, as well as the surrounding forest. Icicles hung from the branches, and the usually cheerfully running creek was completely frozen over, the bubbling water silent.

No sun had risen yet, and not a soul was about, everyone preferring to stay inside in the warmth rather than the bitter cold that came with winter.

Well, there was one exception.

Emylia pulled her hood tighter over her head, regretting the split second decision she’d made to not wear warmer clothing. Instead, she had put on the same white hoodie she always wore. The soft looking snow crunched satisfyingly under her boots, and her breath hung in the air, before it was blown away by a chilling wind.

In a way, it was beautiful, the street lanterns lighting up an otherwise bleak world. They did a job the sun couldn’t. Almost magical, it felt, the swirling white glowing ever so slightly golden. If it had been a few months back, Emylia knew she would’ve claimed that’s what it was. Some otherworldly power creating an enchanting moment for her eyes and her eyes alone. Why had that changed, again?

Oh, right. Because she’d seen real magic now, and it was so much more. That other place, that other realm… That’s where she was currently headed. Why she was out and about at this hour.

Nearly ten months prior, Emylia had stumbled into this ‘Other World’ as she kept calling it. A world full of fantasy, of colour, of, well, magic… It was an amazing place, everything she’d ever imagined. Where if all she ever wanted to do was climb trees or play her violin, there was nothing stopping her!

That is, except for the bit about her height.

Everything there was massive, towering far above. It could be terrifying, and especially dangerous for someone like her, who was ridiculously small in comparison.

Luckily, soon after she’d first entered, she’d been found by two of the inhabitants of that world. A Taran and a Siron. Basically, a mini giant, and a literal giant. Things had happened, they had talked, and she had ended up staying the night at their place, on the basis that she had had no idea how to get back. And now back in the present, they were best friends!

…She’d forgotten to mention their names, hadn’t she?

There was Rachelle, the Taran, who was kind, and funny, and could be really sweet sometimes. Even if she got really annoyed every now and again.

And then there was Jeremy, the Siron, wbo was awesome, and nearly always on board with her ridiculous plan. Could also be known as a living heater.

Together, they ran a potion shop near the edge of town. Emylia tried her best to help, but being human meant she was in fact tall enough for it. Today wasn’t about that though. It was about gifts.

In the other world, they didn’t have Christmas, which made sense, considering it was a human tradition. Still, she wanted to get her friends a little something. Something self made. A nice… surprise for them.

A surprise… That wasn’t such a bad idea. That could work.

She grinned as she walked down the winding path through the woods, before coming to a stop. It was around here. The entrance to where she needed to go.

Not a portal, but more a subtle shift in the air. You didn’t notice the change until it happened, and by then people usually started panicking instead of trying to step back. Emylia had done this a million times by now. If it was up to her, she’d be living there full time.

But it wasn’t up to her. Not really anyway. Not if she didn’t want to appear on missing posters, even if it would take a bit before they noticed she was gone. Not if she wanted to keep the world hidden, because then they might find it.

A blink, and suddenly, everything changed. Emylia breathed in, filling her lungs with the cold, clean air. Since there was hardly any talk of pollution, air felt so much fresher. You wouldn’t even know how different it was until you felt it.

Another fun thing about where Rachelle and Jeremy were from: So. Much. More. Freezing.

It might not be a lot for her two ‘giant’ friends, but for her the snow was nearly knee deep. She needed to get where she was going fast. Now, where was that, exactly?

Emylia glanced at the trees around her, reaching to what seemed infinitely upwards. To her left was the long, hidden path to her friends’ home, one she would’ve taken any other day.

But that wasn’t her first location in mind. Instead, her eyes darted to what must be the very large equivalent of fox tracks. Old ones, half buried by the snow. Usually, Emylia would never go near them for the life of her, especially not without one of her friends keeping an eye out for anything that might be trying to eat her.

The reasons she was going by herself were simple. Because what she was making was a surprise, and these particular tracks led to the perfect place to create it.

Magical worlds meant magical things inside them. Or, in her case, a magical tree. About ten or so minutes walking in that direction, and you would find the highpoint of the forest. Literally.

All year round, leaves and flowers and vines grew on it, radiating summertime and warmth. Snow melted when it touched the branches, dripping to the ground lukewarm. If there was one place in winter where you definitely couldn’t get hypothermia, it was here.

With any luck, she’d have a good hour or so before Jeremy and Rachelle came looking for her. A good hour to get high up and finish the gifts in peace.

Tree climbing was easy, after all. And with everything being so much bigger, grips were easier to find.

What could be different about this one?

. . .

“Hey, J?”

Jeremy turned away from the potion he was working on. “What’s up, Rach?” He asked with a smile. From where he was sitting, it was hard to tell what Rachelle’s expression was, but from her tone of voice, she sounded concerned.

A sigh was heard, followed by a groan. “It’s nothing, really. I mean…” She made her way over to the desk he was at, using a conveniently placed box to pull herself up onto the table. Living in a house with someone who was a different species could be inconvenient at times. “Doesn’t Em usually show up around now?”

He frowned. “You know, I think you’re right.” Rachelle rolled her eyes. “I know I’m right. But I don’t know why she isn’t here…” Her eyes widened. “Do you think something could’ve happened to her!?” Jeremy shook his head. “Let’s not assume the worst. Maybe she got distracted? We can go look for her, if you want.” The Taran hummed in agreement.

“Right you are. Let me grab my cloak, and we can get going.”

. . .

It had taken only a few minutes to climb far enough up the tree, since there were grip holds and flowers and vines to cling onto, and now that she was up on a sturdy enough branch, Emilia adjusted her position slightly so she was leaning against the trunk. The magical warmth swept through her, and she sighed in relief.

Winter was lovely and all in its own right, but not much could beat the feeling of sunlight and fresh nature. And though it felt like spring, it was still Christmas time, with presents that had to be made.

Taking the materials needed out of her bag, she got to work.

Rachelle's and her own were quite small, and therefore easier to make, so those were the two she began with. Emylia hummed softly as she worked, small slices of wood fluttering down and nestling nicely between the leaves.

Being completely focused in her work, Emylia only noticed how much time had flown by once she’d finally started on Jeremy’s. The sun was shining cheerfully on the snowy world below her, and she smiled. It wasn’t going to be long before familiar faces turned up.

"Em? Is that you up there?”

Emylia looked down, and her eyes widened. Not because it was her friends down there, but because of how far down her friends were. Rachelle and Jeremy, unsurprisingly, were standing below, but even with outstretched arms, neither of them could reach her. That sounded like she wasn’t that high up, but for her, it was.

In this case though… That was perfect.

“Oh, hey guys! What’re you doing here?” She shouted, knowing it was going to be hard for them to understand her if she didn’t. Even from up here, she could feel the eyeroll Rachelle made when she asked.

“You know why we’re here! The real question is, why are you!?”

She sighed loudly, and sneaking started continuing the final gift, the final piece in a set of three. “Just…” Her voice faltered a moment, watching as Jeremy jokingly tried (and failed by a good several meters) to reach her. “Just give me twenty!”

Annoyed mutters floated up through the treetops, but Emylia knew they just masked worry or concern. “Okay, fine… But that doesn’t actually answer the question!” Jeremy pointed out, scoffing slightly. There was only silence in response to that.

Soon after realizing she wasn’t going to spill anything about… Whatever she could possibly be doing up there, they… Talked. After all, they were good friends, and it’d be awkward to sit there in silence for nearly half an hour. It was easy to slip into the familiar banter, chatting away over everything and still some. Emylia hadn’t even noticed how quickly her work was going until she was carving the last couple details.

Right. Now it was time for the more nerve wracking part- giving her friends what she’d made.

“Okay! I’m, uh… I’m coming down now!” Swiftly, she scrambled down, with no regard for her safety. Excitement could do that to a person, after all. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Jeremy grinned, offering her a hand to climb onto. Emylia took it without hesitation, wobbling a bit, before sitting down.

Snow was falling again, lightly, and she found that, while she was freezing cold once again, it made for the perfect atmosphere. Anyway, when Jeremy lifted her higher, so that she could be at face level with them, none of it really mattered. They could’ve been in the middle of a desert for all she cared, as long as it was with those two. “Welcome back to surface level!” Rachelle greeted enthusiastically. “So, why, precisely, were you up there for so long?”

Emylia laughed. Reaching for her bag, she grinned, eyes twinkling.

“Well, there’s this thing called Christmas…”

. . .

WOOOOO!!!! Fic done!!!! Again, this was a lot of fun to write! I enjoyed it a lot, and tried to include some of what you told me about the world!

What were the presents Emylia gave? …Who knows? I like to think it’s part of the mystery :)

Sorry it didn't contain as many character interactions as I'd hoped, got a little invested writing and perfecting the beginning parts, and then making that really cool drawing of her climbing the tree-

Have a lovely rest of your year!

-Munchkin

(P.S. To whoever’s my secret santa, if you read this, I am so sorry I have no information whatsoever about my characters. I swear I’ll fix that next year!... Probably)

. . .

Tag List (If you want to be added, TELL ME!): @i-am-beckyu, @brick-a-doodle-do, @da3dm, @faeiyn-cant-write, @boiled-ginger-ale

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