#RFO - third person

[rainisawriter]

I’ll Always Find You (Riku)

Genre: Angst, dark, mafia, romance, fluff

Word Count: 11,979

Pairing: OC (Ana) x Riku

World: The Rampage

Prompts: Listed at the bottom because there’s so many lol (@whumptober)

A/N: This was written for @thistaleisabloodyone as a thank you for supplying me with the Yamasho/Ryu gifs I need in order to survive ♡ I hope you enjoy this! Also, writing in the second person is so engrained in my DNA at this point that I kept writing “you” instead of “she/her” lmao I think I caught them all, though.

Warnings: Blood, violence, murder

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Riku clenched his teeth, eyes narrowed as his fists made contact with the punching bag repeatedly. Rather than feeling better, each hit left him feeling more frustrated and tired. It had been days since he last slept because every time he closed his eyes, he could see his face. 

“Damn it!” He scowled, punching the bag so hard that it dislodged from the ceiling, flopping pitifully to the ground. He was hit with a sudden wave of dizziness, making him sway where he stood, hand coming up to cover his eyes.

“Riku-san, are you okay?” Warm hands rested against his back to steady him.

A small smile came to his lips as he turned to face her. “I’m fine, Ana-chan.”

She frowned as her eyes scanned him, taking in how he was covered in sweat. Dark bags sat beneath tired eyes and his hair was a mess because he had run his hand through it several times in frustration. He felt exhausted, both mentally and physically.

She had known him long enough to know when he was lying. For the past few days, he’s been acting distracted, frustrated and even a bit worried. This concerned her, mostly because he was the type to keep things bottled up until they were ready to explode.

“You look awful.”

He chuckled softly. “Do you insult every guy like that?”

Her cheeks warmed up as she pouted at him. “You know what I meant. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks… Don’t push yourself too hard.”

Her concern warmed his heart and he nodded, a loving smile on his lips. “Don’t worry, love, I know my limits.”

“It’s getting pretty late, though.” She glanced at the clock as if to emphasize her point. It read 11:45. “You have a packed day tomorrow, you should really get some rest…”

His hands found her waist, pulling her close. “Are you going to make sure I get home safely?”

Her lips twitched upward, hand resting against his chest to keep some distance between them. His shirt was soaked, making her nose wrinkle. “Only if you take a shower first.”

He chuckled, pecking her on the forehead before heading into the locker room to take a shower. She waited for him patiently and he didn’t take too long, coming out in clean clothes and smelling faintly of strawberries.

“Ready to go?” he questioned, holding his hand out to her.

She smiled, slipping her hand into his with a nod. As the two of them headed out into the cool autumn night, she kept throwing glances at him. She wanted to ask again what was on his mind, not just because she wanted to try and help, but also because she wanted to feel like he trusted her.

The two of them had been dating in secret for several months now and yet, she knew he was keeping a part of himself hidden from her. To be fair, he kept it hidden from the other Rampage members, as well.

Riku wasn’t dumb. He saw the way she watched him with a furrowed brow and frown on her lips. He knew that she questioned his trust in her. It’s not like he didn’t want to tell her the truth, he truly did, yet he couldn’t bring himself to. It was such a dark, intimate part of his past that he was still struggling to come to terms with.

The thought of her finding out made his heart ache painfully within his chest. Would she look at him differently? Would she break up with him? Would she hate him? He released a shaky breath at the thought, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

Ana reached over, resting her hand atop his. Some of the tension left his body at her touch and he sent her a tired smile, slipping his hand into hers so he could lace their fingers together. 

“When we get home, do you want to watch a movie?”

The answer was yes, of course, though she wanted to tell him he should go to sleep instead. She felt confident that he wouldn’t make it through the movie and she didn’t want him to fall asleep on the couch. Granted, it was a comfortable couch, but he had earned a nice, long sleep in his own bed.

“I’m actually feeling pretty sleepy. Can we just head to bed?” she asked, softly, hoping he wouldn’t catch on to what she was doing.

Whether he did or not, he didn’t show it. “That sounds good, love.”

When the two of them finally made it back to his apartment, she took a quick shower before joining him in the bedroom. He was barely keeping himself away, eyes half-lidded as he waited on her. She chuckled softly as she slid under the comforter, brushing the hair from his eyes.

Riku pulled her against his chest, holding her tightly. “I love you, Ana-chan,” he mumbled tiredly.

“I love you, too,” she replied softly, nuzzling into his warm chest. A sudden feeling of anxiety overcame her and she had no idea why. “You’re my world, you know?” she whispered, believing him to be asleep already but he wasn’t, chuckling softly.

“And you’re mine.”

“Promise you’ll never leave?” She wasn’t quite sure why she asked this. He had become the single most important person in her life, though, and the thought of losing him had her on edge.

“I promise,” he breathed out, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Though the feeling of dread didn’t disappear completely, it did lessen with his words, allowing her to follow him to dreamland.

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Riku’s brow furrowed as he looked around, finding himself surrounded by darkness. “Hello? Ana-chan?” His voice echoed several times, though he received no response. His footsteps echoed as he started to walk in a random direction.

His breathing quickened as he broke out into a run, trying to find his way out of the inky blackness that was weighing down on him. A small white light appeared in the distance, growing bigger as he ran until it was so bright that he had to close his eyes.

The brightness faded and he was now standing in a familiar basement.

His eyes widened, heart racing within his chest as he took in the scene before him. 

A young boy, no older than nineteen, was tied to a metal chair, his face bloody and bruised. He was sobbing, tears and snot running down his face as he begged for mercy. Standing to the right of him was an older man wearing a suit, his greying hair slicked back away from his eyes. He was frowning, deep wrinkles forming across his face.

His name was Hide and he was the current boss of the Gentride family.

This wasn’t the most shocking part to Riku, though.

Standing in front of the boy was a younger version of Riku, only nineteen years of age, with blood dripping from his clenched fist.

The man leaned toward the boy, narrowing his eyes. “We need the information, boy. Tell us where your father is hiding and we will let you go.”

The younger Riku grunted, folding his arms over his chest. “Mikaru won’t be happy to hear that, boss. He’s been waiting a long time to get his hands on this kid.”

“I know,” sighed the older man as he straightened his back. “He’s getting out of control. He’s lost sight of what our family is about and I fear…” He stopped himself, glancing at the young boy before deciding that now wasn’t the time to discuss this. “Where is your father, Matsuda?”

“I-I don’t know!” he sobbed, shaking his head. 

“Hit him again, Riku.”

He did so without hesitation, making the boy cry out.

“Where?”

“Go to hell!”

“Hit him harder.”

Clenching his fist tightly, the younger Riku cocked his fist back.

The older Riku stepped forward, his lips parting to stop him but no sound escaped. He winced when the fist made contact again, making the chair, and the boy, topple over onto the floor.

He wanted to scream, but he couldn’t make a sound.

He wanted to cry, but they refused to fall.

Boss sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Release him, Riku.”

“What?” His head snapped toward the man in surprise. “Are you sure? We haven’t gotten anything out of him.”

“A loyal man will take the secrets of those he’s loyal to to the grave. No matter what you do to him, he will never give up what he knows.”

With a nod, the younger Riku did as he was ordered to do, cutting the robe that held Matsuda to the chair. “Get out of here.”

Matsuda looked at him suspiciously, one eye swollen shut. Without wasting another moment, he struggled to his feet and rushed from the room, his feet pounding on the wooden steps. He let out a sudden cry as he was pushed down the stairs, landing hard on the ground.

Both men’s attention snapped toward the door, eyes narrowed. 

The older Riku knew what was about to happen and he shook his head, swallowing hard as he stepped back until he hit the wall.

Mikaru appeared at the bottom of the steps, a maniacal grin on his lips. “Oi, oi. You’re losin’ your touch, Riku, lettin’ this kid get away from you.” His eyes flickered to the knife in the male’s hand and then to the rope on the ground, clearly cut. The grin fell, darkness clouding his eyes.  “Oi, don’t tell me… you let him go.”

The two men exchanged a look, knowing what was coming.

Hide stepped forward. “I’ve decided to release him. We’ll gain more from -“

“Shut it, old man,” snapped Mikaru, eyes flashing with anger. “You’ve been losin’ your touch for years, now look at you! Lettin’ people go free like we’re a goddamn charity case! The other families’re gonna think we’re weak!”

Riku stepped forward, his eyes filled with anger as he clutched the knife. “Watch your tongue, Mikaru. He is our boss -“

“Oh shut it, you fuckin’ ass kisser.” 

Matsuda used the distraction to his advantage, slowly crawling toward the stairs. In the blink of an eye, the blonde pulled a gun from the back of his jeans, putting a bullet in the side of the young boy’s head. He dropped against the floor, blood pooling beneath him.

The older Riku closed his eyes, hand covering his mouth as he tried to stop his body from shaking. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

“Mikaru, what are you -“

He raised the gun toward his boss and pulled the trigger. The older man tried to dodge but he wasn’t fast enough to avoid it completely, the bullet lodging into his shoulder. He stumbled back against the wall, teeth gritted.

“Boss!” Riku rushed over with wide eyes. 

Mikaru pulled the trigger again but the gun jammed, making him curse as he hurriedly tried to fix it.

Hide pulled the gun from his hip, holding it out toward Riku. 

He shook his head with wide eyes, knowing what the man wanted. “No, I… I can’t…”

“You must! You know the law of this family – whoever kills the boss, becomes the boss. You mustn’t let Mikaru take over! Promise me, Riku!”

He lifted a shaking hand, fingers curling around the metal. Making sure the safety was off, he lifted the gun and his thumb pulled the hammer back. “Boss, I…” his voice was trembling just like his hand.

“Do it!”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling the trigger and planting a bullet between his eyes. 

“Son of a bitch!” cried Mikaru, finally getting his gun unjammed. 

Riku was faster, though, shooting his hand.

He cried out, the gun clattering to the ground. “I’ll kill you -“

Riku pulled the trigger again, planting a bullet between his eyes. Falling to his knees, his shoulders trembled as he tried to shove down everything he was feeling. He had just murdered his boss, the man who had saved his life and took him under his wing. Hide protected him, taught him everything he knew and, most importantly, he showed him love.

The older Riku sank to his knees, tears sliding down his cheeks. His eyes were screwed shut, hands over his ears despite the silence that now permeated the room. After all these years, why was he dreaming about him now?

He felt like a scared little boy and he hated it, yet he had no idea how to make everything go away. All he wanted was everything to stop. He wanted to stop feeling all this regret and pain. He wanted to feel like he could breathe properly again.

More than anything, Riku wished he could change the past. 

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Ana was startled awake by Riku thrashing in his sleep, whimpering and begging for it all to stop. The sight knocked all sleepiness from her body and she quickly reached over, shaking his shoulder.

“Riku-kun, wake up.”

His fists clenched around the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turned pure white.

She frowned, resting her hand on his flushed cheek. “Baby, please wake up.”

Riku’s eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly, covered in sweat and gasping for air. His eyes were wide, wild, and unfocused as if part of him was still within his nightmare.

“Hey, are you -” she rested her hand on his shoulder but he slapped it away, eyes snapping to her. She swallowed hard, having never seen him in such a state. “It’s okay, it’s me. It was just a bad dream. You’re okay, Riku-kun.”

When she reached for his hand, he flinched away from her, slipping off the bed and tugging at the collar of his shirt because he felt like he couldn’t breathe. It felt as if a knot had formed within his chest, a lump in his throat that he couldn’t seem to swallow.

Ana was equal parts confused and concerned, not sure how to feel about how he was acting. “Do you… want to talk about it or do you want to be alone?”

“Alone,” he choked out, voice trembling as he placed his palms atop the dresser, lowering his head. He was losing control of the emotions he had been carefully keeping under lock and key for years and that’s not something he wanted her to see. “Please… just leave me alone.”

Her heart ached at his words but she tried to ignore the pain she was feeling. He was more important right now and if he wanted to be left alone, she would comply with the request. Sliding out of bed, she quickly got changed with the spare clothes she kept at his apartment before heading for the door.

Pausing, she bit her lip in consideration. Should she tell him she was leaving? Ask him if he was okay? No, she shook her head with a sigh, turning and leaving his apartment. 

Glancing at her phone, she frowned at the time – 2:23 in the morning. Not exactly the best time to be walking home alone, but what choice did she have? She considered calling a taxi to come and pick her up only to realize she had left her wallet in Riku’s apartment. For a moment, she had an internal debate about whether or not she should go back only to decide that she didn’t want to bother him.

Taking a deep breath, she started down the street, hugging herself tightly when the wind picked up. It was cold out, the wind like ice against her exposed skin.

Fifteen minutes passed by without issue and she was getting close to her home now. Suddenly, she felt a chill go down her spine. It felt like someone was staring at her and she slowly glanced around, looking for the source. She saw no one around, the street eerily silent.

‘It’s probably just my imagination…’ Ana shook her head, exhaling nervously as she continued down the street. She increased her speed, trying to ignore the feeling of being watched. It only got worse, though, and she kept glancing over her shoulder.

The street was nearly pitch black, the moon covered by clouds. The street lamps were spaced far apart, their bulbs dull and doing little to pierce the darkness around her.

Within these shadows lurked a monster. Not one of fairy tales or legend, but a monster of flesh and bone. A monster with ill intent, willing to do anything to achieve its goal.

“Who’s there?” she called out before cursing herself. She had just done the very same thing she often scolded people for in movies. Asking who was there never worked out well for the person asking.

Honestly, she wasn’t sure what would be more unsettling – if someone actually answered or the dead silence she was currently experiencing.

Ana picked up her pace once more, nearly running now. Her heart was racing within her chest, alarm bells screaming at her to run away so she did. She ran as fast as she could, suddenly aware of boots slapping the pavement behind her. She was sure someone was chasing her but she was far too afraid to look behind her to confirm her fears.

She fumbled to pull her keys from her pocket, nearly dropping them in her haste. Her front door was in sight, so close now that she could touch the cold metal of the doorknob. As soon as the key slid into the lock, she felt something hard strike the back of her head.

Her body stilled, pain blooming from her skull as her vision blurred.

A male voice chuckled in amusement as she fell to the concrete below.  Through blurred eyes, she managed to get a look at her attacker. His dark eyes glinted dangerously in the low light from above the door. A jagged scar ran from the center of his forehead, curving down to the side of his nose before stopping beside his chin. The hood of his jacket cloaked his face in shadow and she realized he was dressed in all black.

This wasn’t a crime of opportunity. He hadn’t seen her walking alone at night  and decided to attack. No, he had been waiting, stalking from the shadows.

With a grin, he squatted down, reaching out to poke her in the forehead with his index finger. She noticed the fact that he was missing his pinkie and ring finger. “I’ve been waitin’ for ya, little bird.”

Her lips parted but the words died on her tongue. It was taking everything she had just to remain conscious, scared of what would come if she passed out.

“Don’t worry, girlie. We’re gonna have lots of fun together~” he laughed before cooking his fist back and slamming it against her face, the force great enough to finally knock the consciousness from her.

She fell limp against the cold ground and he grunted in satisfaction, grabbing her before tossing her over his shoulder as if she was nothing more than a bag of cat food. A black van pulled up beside him and he grabbed the handle, sliding the back door open before tossing her inside.

“Let’s go,” he ordered the driver as she hopped inside, pulling the door closed.

“Yes, boss!”

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“Hey, you in there?”

Shockwaves of pain shot through Ana’s body, jolting her from unconsciousness as a cry left her lips. She tried to jerk away, but her body was tied to a metal chair, the thick rope digging into her arms and legs. Her entire body ached, the side of her face throbbing.

The sound of a cattle prod sparking made her tense up, eyes snapping forward. The man that had kidnapped her was standing over her, an enhanced cattle prod in hand and a malicious grin on his lips.

“Sleepin’ beauty finally woke up! Didn’t even need a kiss,” he snickered, making the prod spark again.

She swallowed hard, eyes flickering around the room. It was a dingy little basement, plastic sheets covering the walls and floor. Floodlights had been set up near the door, shining brightly on her. A second, older man was leaning against the wall, his arms folded over his chest as he glared at her.

“What…” She swallowed again, her mouth dry. “What do you want from me?”

“Oh darlin’,” soothed the man mockingly as he patted her cheek. Danger was clearly written there within his eyes and it was unsettling. “We don’t want you, we want your cute lil boyfriend. We want that bastard, Riku.”

Her eyes widened, the breath leaving her lungs. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t understand why they wanted him, she could only assume they wanted money. He was one of three faces of a very popular music group and the company would pay a lot of money for him.

Riku was no pushover, though. He was strong, filled with muscles after years of bouncing between boxing, martial arts and kickboxing. Of the three singers, he was the last person someone should attempt to kidnap for a ransom, so why had they chosen him?

‘Is it… my fault?’ The thought made her want to cry.

Hokuto and Kazuma were weaker than Riku, easier to take, but Riku had one weakness that they did not. Even not knowing that she and Riku were dating, it was clear that he cared deeply for her and would do anything for her.

While she had become a source of strength and comfort for him, she had also become his biggest weakness. She could only hope and pray that he wasn’t dumb enough to come for her.

“Aww, is the lil princess gonna cry?” asked the man with a mocking laugh. “Go on, it’ll make the call sound better!”

Her eyes fell to the cell phone he was holding, realizing it was her phone with Riku’s contact info pulled up. She struggled harder against her binds, throwing her body back and forth as she tried to loosen the ropes but they only seemed to tighten, digging roughly into her skin. 

“Don’t move too much or ya might hurt yourself before I get to,” he snickered, pressing the call button. It rang and rang and rang. 

With every moment that passed, his expression fell. She prayed to every God and deity she could think of that he wouldn’t answer the phone and, to her relief, it finally went to voice-mail. 

The older man pushed away from the wall, anger flashing through his eyes. “Did you grab the wrong girl, you idiot?!”

The young male’s eyes darkened as he turned toward him, the cattle prod sparking menacingly. “Don’t forget your place, Madaira. I am in charge here, not you, and if you ever speak to me like that again, I will fuckin’ kill you. You can finally be reunited with your precious boy.”

Madaira narrowed his eyes, fists clenched at his sides. “Don’t bring my son into this, Mikaru.”

Before he could reply, Ana’s phone started to ring. She shook her head, eyes wide as her body trembled against the ropes. Mikaru just grinned, showing her the called ID – it was Riku.

“Please don’t…” her pleas fell on deaf ears as he answered the call, Riku’s voice filling the basement.

“Hey, Ana-chan.” His voice was soft, though she couldn’t tell if he was tired or still recovering from his nightmare. “I’m sorry, I… I was really rude to you last night. Can you forgive me?“

Mikaru made his voice higher pitched, trying to imitate Ana. “Oh, sweetie, of course I can!”

There was silence on the line for a moment. When he spoke again, his tone was darker and more alert. “Who the fuck is this? Why do you have Ana’s phone?“

“Karma’s come to collect what’s due, Riku.” He used his normal voice now, a grin on his lips. “I have your cute lil girlfriend. Why don’t you say hi, Ana-chan?”

Hearing her name spoken by him made her feel sick to her stomach. She pursed her lips, eyes narrowed at him in defiance. Perhaps if she remained silent, Riku wouldn’t believe him and would remain safe. She didn’t care what happened to her so long as he was okay.

Mikaru scowled in annoyance. “You really know how to pick ’em, don’t you? She’s just as stubborn as you!” The cattle prod was thrust against her stomach, electricity sparking against her shirt.

She tried hard to remain quiet but a cry of pain left her lips and she started to struggle again, trying to put distance between herself and the object causing her pain.

“Ana-chan!” cried Riku in alarm. “Who the fuck are you? I swear to God if you hurt her, I’ll kill you!“

“Ooo, the idol is starting to show his true self, hm?” snickered Mikaru, a glint in his dark eyes. “If you want your girl back, then I suggest you get your ass over to the place where you became the boss of the Gentride family.”

Riku sucked in a breath, voice trembling. “What –“

The call was ended before Mikaru threw the phone against the wall, smashing it into pieces. He grabbed a metal folding chair, setting it in front of her before relaxing in it as if he hadn’t just kidnapped someone.

“Tell me, girlie, just how much do you know about your lil boyfriend, hm?”

She glared at him through teary eyes, left over from the previous shock.

“My guess is – nothin’. Knowing that idiot, he bottled it all up inside so he could live a ‘normal’ life,” he spat, acting as if it was the most disgusting thing he had ever heard. “Want me to tell ya?”

She scoffed,  turning her head away from him.

He just chuckled, leaning forward on his elbows. “Your precious lil boyfriend is part of the Yakuza.”

Her eyes widened in shock, body tensing. ‘No way, Riku would never…’

“He’s a murderer.”

“You’re a liar!” she snapped angrily, eyes flashing with anger as she glared at him. “Riku is not a murderer!”

“He murdered my son!” snapped Madaira, taking a step toward her. “They wanted me, but I was hiding. I… I never thought they’d kill my boy… they were supposed to be better than that… they… they…” His shoulders shook, tears gathering in his eyes behind his glasses.

Mikaru sent him a fake sympathetic look before nodding. “It’s true. I was there. How do you think I lost my fingers?” He held up his hand, giving her a better look at the two missing digits. “He shot them off before plantin’ one in my skull. Doctors said it was a miracle I survived.” His voice darkened as he tilted his head. “A miracle indeed.”

“You expect me to believe this nonsense?” she scoffed, though even she could hear the lack of confidence in her tone.

Without a word, the male stood up from the chair, disappearing behind her. 

She turned her head, body tense as she tried to see what he was doing but she could only just see him from the corner of her eye. A moment later, he returned, pushing a cart with a small TV on top of it.

“I didn’t figure you’d believe me, so I prepared a lil somethin’ for you.”

The TV flickered on, showing a still image of the very same room Ana was being held in. At first, she thought it was a security feed but then she realized she wasn’t seeing herself or Mikaru, she was seeing Riku standing over an older man.

“Watch closely, girlie.” Mikaru sent her a grin before pressing play on the remote. 

Ana watched on in horror as Riku lifted the gun, shooting the man in the forehead. The video was rewound, showing the scene again and again. Tears pooled in her eyes, sliding down her cheeks. She wanted desperately to look away but she couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from the screen.

“See, there’s a law within the Gentride family, one that’s been passed down for hundreds of generations.” Mikaru walked behind the cart, sprawling his body over the TV. “Whoever kills the boss, becomes the boss. Riku was always power-hungry, you know?”

She shook her head in disbelief but her voice failed her, eyes still trained on the screen.

“Boss realized this so he skipped over Riku. He chose me to be the new boss when he retired and Riku lost it. It should have been me, but that bastard killed the boss so he could take over and when I tried to stop ’em…” he held up his hand again, observing it curiously. “Well, you know.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The Riku she knew was kind and loving. He cared about the people in his life and he worked harder than anyone she knew in order to achieve his goals. He wanted to be a singer, to reach people’s hearts with his music. Now, she’s supposed to believe that he’s not only part of the mafia but the boss? 

The proof was there, though, right in front of her eyes. Riku murdered that man, that was undeniable, but she refused to believe that he had done so simply to gain power. He just wasn’t that kind of man.

The door was suddenly kicked open, Riku breathing heavily in the doorway. His eyes fell on Ana, multiple emotions flickering through his eyes. He was relieved to see her alive, though he was filled with guilt knowing that she had been taken because of him. Anger was the most powerful emotion he was feeling.

His fists clenched at his sides, brass knuckles in his right hand. His eyes fell on Mikaru and it took him a minute to recognize the younger man. “How are you…”

“Alive?” finished the male, slapping the prod against his palm. “Considering how many people you’ve killed, one would think you’d be better at it, mate. Guess this is proof that I was always meant to be the boss.”

Riku scoffed in disbelief. “You never deserved to lead. Everyone knew that. Boss was willing to die just to make sure you didn’t get your filthy hands on his family.”

Anger flashed through Mikaru’s eyes, teeth clenched. “He ruined us! He went soft and ruined everythin’ we once stood for! We were strong, powerful! People feared us! And then you came along and boss went all soft. You ruined this family, then you killed our boss and ran away like the coward you are.”

Riku’s eyes met hers before softening. “I promise you, Ana-chan, everything will be okay.”

“Don’t you ignore me!” yelled Mikaru as he rushed toward the male, prod sparking.

“Riku, run!” She begged, tears gathering in her eyes again as she fought against her bonds. Adrenaline overshadowed the pain but she wasn’t strong enough to break free, the ropes were just too thick.

Riku didn’t run, though. He met Mikaru head-on, the two beginning to exchange blows. The prod was shoved against Riku’s side and he gritted his teeth against the pain before he grabbed the center of it, yanking it from Mikaru’s grip. It was thrown across the room, skittering across the clear sheet that covered the floor.

“You will regret touching her,” growled Riku, anger flashing through his eyes.

Mikaru wasn’t intimidated as he cried out, “I’m going to kill you!”

His fist shot toward the brunette’s face, Riku dodging it easily before returning the blow, brass knuckles hitting him square in the gut. His eyes were dark, voice filled with malice. “I’ll make sure you’re actually dead this time.” Pulling his fist back, he slammed the brass knuckles against Mikaru’s face.

Ana winced at the sound of his nose breaking, turning away when blood started to gush from his face. He cried out in pain, stumbling backward. His foot got caught on the plastic sheet and he fell onto his back, sliding backward as Riku slowly approached.

His voice was nasily now, a grin on his lips despite the pain. “Go ahead. Show your lil girlfriend the kind of monster you truly are!”

Riku paused at this, suddenly aware of her eyes on him. He never wanted this.

From the moment he first met her, she became his found family. After the death of his boss, he never thought he would ever find peace again, but he found it in her. She was his peace, acting as a shield against all the negative thoughts and feelings that usually plagued his mind.

She was the love of his life, the one person he never wanted to lose and now… now she was hurt because of him. What had Mikaru told her? He didn’t know and he was too afraid to look at her. He knew he would break down if her eyes held fear or disgust toward him.

Mikaru threw his head back, laughter echoing through the basement. “Oh, don’t worry pretty boy, she already knows! I showed her.”

“What?” His brow furrowed and he found himself swallowing hard, his mouth dry. “What are you on about, Mikaru?”

“Did you forget about the security cameras? Boss always did love to revisit his tortures. He got off to ’em, you know.”

Riku’s eyes snapped to the small camera that sat in the corner of the ceiling, pointed right at him. The red light was not on, the lens shattered and wires dangling from the bottom of it. It no longer functioned, but he remembered glancing at it back then to ensure that the red light was on.

Realization flooded him, dread weighing heavily on his shoulders. “No…”

“She watched you put a bullet between the old man’s eyes,” he cackled. “You shoulda seen the look on -“

Something snapped within him and he darted forward, planting his body on top of Mikaru’s so he couldn’t escape. His fists hit him repeatedly in the face, blood splattering across Riku’s face and clothes.

Ana watched on in horror. ‘He… he’s actually going to kill him…’ Her lips parted, wanting desperately to tell him to stop but the words just wouldn’t come.

“Monster…” said Madaira shakily as he took a step back. His eyes flickered to the open door, prepared to flee until he saw a flash of his son’s bloody, bruised face. Fear morphed into anger as he pulled a knife from his pocket.

Her eyes widened. “Riku, watch out!”

Riku was too focused, too angry to hear her cry or to hear his hurried footsteps as he ran toward him. Only when he felt the blade plunge into his shoulder did he snap out of it, wincing in pain. With a scowl, he stood to his full height, pulling the knife from his skin and turning to face the older man.

Madaira gulped fearfully as he stumbled back until he was flush against the support beam. Despite his fear, he spoke up. “Go ahead and kill me. Let me finally be with my boy!” Tears gathered in his eyes from behind his glasses. “You killed him and now you’re going to kill me.”

Riku’s brow furrowed. “Your son?”

He scoffed in disbelief, removing his glasses. “You don’t even remember his name? I’m not surprised, you monster! His name was Matsuda, you bastard!” With a war cry, he ran toward Riku with his fist raised.

Riku was easily stronger than him, shoving the man back against the beam, little pieces of dust falling from the ceiling. “Mikaru lied to you. I didn’t kill your son, he did!”

“Bullshit!” He rushed at him again but the result was the same, more dust floating down on top of him.

“He lied about everything!” snapped Riku, his voice desperate. Though he was looking at Madaira, Ana knew he was talking to her. “Mikaru is the one who killed your son. We were letting Matsuda go and he didn’t like that.”

“You… you’re lying,” breathed Madaira, his glassy eyes flickering between Riku and the fallen man. His eyes suddenly widened and he ducked to the side just as Mikaru tackled Riku from behind.

The force was enough to send him forward, slamming into the beam, the wood beginning to splinter from the abuse. Riku grunted, pushing away from the beam so he could turn and punch the younger male. He managed to dodge the blow but Riku grabbed him, shoving him against the beam before cocking his fist back.

Mikaru slid down at the last second, the brass knuckles making contact with the beam. It easily broke through, the wood cracking and splintering. The ceiling shook, large amounts of dust and dirt falling onto all of them. With a grin, he grabbed the prod off the ground and shoved it hard into another beam.

Riku realized what he was doing and darted toward him. It was too late, the wood creaking pitifully as it started to give way under the weight of the ceiling. He cursed as Mikaru rushed toward the door, his mind telling him to give chase and finally end the man’s life.

His heart, on the other hand, was telling him to save Ana and that’s exactly what he chose to do. As he rushed over to her, a chunk of ceiling gave way directly above her. She cried out, closing her eyes as she waited for the blow to her head. Riku tackled her, both of them hitting the ground.

A cry of pain left her as the concrete fell onto her legs, pinning the lower half of her body and the chair. Her right shoulder had taken the brunt of the fall and she was sure her arm was broken. Her body was filled with so much pain that her brain was struggling to decide which pain to focus on.

Riku covered the upper half of her body with his own until the debris stopped falling and the room fell silent. 

He shifted to undo the knot in the rope and when Ana tried to push herself up, she cried out in pain, her arm giving out beneath her. It hurt like a bitch.

“I think it’s broken,” she muttered before turning her attention to the concrete resting over her legs. She tried to push it away but it was heavy and she just didn’t have the strength at that moment.

Riku quickly crawled over so he could remove it, a deep frown on his lips. “Are you okay, Ana-chan?” He mentally slapped himself for asking, knowing that it was a dumb question.

She honestly didn’t know how to answer that because she didn’t know how she was feeling. She was just so overwhelmed by everything and wanted to go home. “I’m fine,” she finally muttered under her breath, carefully cradling her broken arm.

Riku tugged his shirt over his head so he could rip it into strips. Despite everything, she couldn’t help but admire his body. He worked hard to be sculpted like a god and his efforts certainly paid off. 

He seemed to hesitate for a moment before slowly moving closer as if worried he was going to scare her. As he carefully put her arm into the makeshift sling, she couldn’t help but admire his body.

He wasn’t a shy man by any means, being one of the top Rampage members who often went shirtless during concerts. Now, though, in a small room alone with his girlfriend, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. He could feel her eyes raking over his body, taking in every scar that littered his skin.

Concerts were often dark with lots of flashing lights and those attending were far enough away from the stage that his scars went unnoticed. The basement was  rightly lit, though, even with half the roof collapsed, thanks to the bright floodlights. She was also sitting just inches away from him so he couldn’t hide.

Without thinking, her uninjured arm lifted, fingers brushing against a particularly long scar that ran from the bottom of his ribs to the center of his right breast. His body tensed as he sucked in a breath, pausing his ministrations.

Perhaps she should have stopped and apologized, but she felt entranced by them and she couldn’t stop her fingers running across his skin, drawing tiny stars across each one. He swallowed hard, shoving her hand away before sliding backward, trying to hide them with his arms. He hadn’t considered them when he took his shirt off, focused only on helping her, but now he was starting to regret it.

“Riku, let me see them,” she called softly, a frown on her lips. “You don’t have to hide them.”

“They’re ugly,” he muttered, eyes narrowed at the ground.

“They’re not.” Ana closed the distance, using her uninjured arm to tug his own away from his body. “Every scar tells a story. They’re part of who you are, they remind you of how you got here. They’re lessons to not repeat your mistakes and they’re motivation to keep being better.”

Riku slowly turned his head to face her, his eyes meeting hers. She had never seen him look so broken before and it broke her heart. “Do you…” he started softly before biting his lip. She waited patiently for him to find the words. “Do you hate me?”

“No,” she replied without hesitation which surprised him. Her hand cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing across his skin gently. “I’m very confused right now, I’ll admit that, but… I could never hate you. I love you, Riku.”

The breath was stolen from his lungs at her words and he threw his arms around her, careful of her arm as he held her tightly. He didn’t know what to say, though he felt worried that she would change her mind once she had time to reflect on everything that had happened.

Ana hugged him back, comforted by the warmth he offered. Her fingers combed through his hair, hoping she could offer him comfort, as well. Several minutes passed by in silence as the two of them embraced, neither wanting to let go. Both of them knew that everything would change as soon as they did.

Riku wouldn’t just be a member of the Rampage to her anymore, he would be a member of the yakuza with blood on his hands. It was the harsh reality that both of them would have to face, whether they wanted to or not.

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━━

Because of her broken arm, Ana was given a week off from work to rest and recover. This was forced on her by her manager at Riku’s insistence despite her claiming that she was perfectly fine. More than anything, she was afraid of being away from Riku.

That feeling of dread had returned and she couldn’t seem to shake it. She assumed it was just trauma from what had occurred and she had to admit that she was still jumpy after everything. Her body would heal long before her mind would but she was trying her hardest to keep it together.

Her broken arm was a constant reminder, though, and every time she closed her eyes, she would see Mikaru’s grinning face in her mind. She would often dream of Riku shooting his boss, as well.

For all her suffering, Riku was much worse off. 

He stopped eating and sleeping, throwing himself into practice to try and escape his shaky reality. As bad as he wanted to be by her side, he couldn’t bring himself to because of the guilt. She had nearly died because of him yet she treated him no differently. 

He hated it.

He wanted her to yell at him, to scream at him for what he did to her. He wanted her to demand answers, to demand an apology. It would be so much easier if she just hated him as much as he hated himself. Ana wasn’t like that, though. She preferred to see the good in people rather than the bad.

Personally, he didn’t believe there was any good left in him and if there was, surely it was hidden by the darkness of all the bad he’s done. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. More importantly, he refused to believe that he deserved her.

To some degree, Ana realized this and she wanted to change his mind, to let him know that he was deserving of love. He did deserve to be with her, to be happy and feel loved and supported. How could she, though, when he was avoiding her?

When her phone lit up, she hurriedly grabbed it off the couch in the hopes that Riku had finally responded to her messages. She ended up scowling when she realized it was just a notification for some junk mail. Should she message again? Perhaps he just didn’t hear the notification and messaging once more would get his attention.

She didn’t want to annoy him, though.

Instead, she decided to ring up Zin and subtly ask how everyone was. He didn’t know about the relationship so he wouldn’t be suspicious if she asked about Riku as long as she also asked about the others.

Unlike Riku, he answered fairly quickly. “Ana-chan~ How are you feeling?“

She glanced at her arm and frowned. It was set in a cast and sling, a constant reminder that she could have been killed. “I’m fine, just wanted to check in with everyone.”

He chuckled softly. “You’re the one that’s injured yet you’re worried about us? Don’t worry, we aren’t working too hard.“

“How’s Kazu? I know he wasn’t feeling well.”

“Likiya made him drink some herbal tea and he’s feeling better.“

“That’s good to hear.” She bit her lip, wondering if it was too soon to mention Riku. “What about Ryu? Is he still struggling with the choreo?”

“He’s slowly getting the hang of it. Takahide and Kenta have been running him through it whenever he stumbles.“

“And Riku? He seemed… distracted before I left.”

There was silence on the other end of the line before he spoke again, concern in his tone. “I thought he was with you.“

“Huh?”

“He said he was going to go check on you thirty minutes ago… did he not –“

Without a word, Ana hung up the phone and rushed from the house. Her heart was racing within her chest as she ran down the street toward Riku’s apartment, fear and dread settling in her gut. Zin kept calling and texting, clearly concerned about both her and his bandmate, but she ignored him, far too focused on finding her boyfriend.

“Riku!” Her fist pounded on his apartment door before she paused to listen for any sound of movement. It was dead silent inside which did little to ease her anxiety. Her fingers wrapped around the doorknob, sure that it would be locked.

To her surprise, it clicked as she turned it, allowing her to push the door open. She burst into the apartment, calling out his name only to receive no response. She ran from room to room, checking each one for any sign of him but there was none. Cursing, she started for the front door only to pause when she caught sight of a thick white envelope sitting on the table.

Ana wasn’t usually the type of person to go through other people’s things, but what if it held a clue as to where he had gone? When she got closer, she realized her name had been scrawled onto it in Riku’s beautiful, unmistakable handwriting. He had left this for her.

Her heart pounded in her ears as she opened it and she had to take a deep breath to calm herself before beginning to read.

『My dearest Ana-chan,

I’m sorry for what you went through because of me. I never wanted you to know the truth about me and I was foolish enough to believe that I could live a normal life with you and the Rampage. As if I deserve such a thing after everything I’ve done…

Because of my neglect, my past came back with a vengeance and you’re the one who suffered. I’ve been selfish, putting all of you at risk because I wanted to hide from who I am. My boss used to tell me that, ‘No matter how far you run, your past and your choices will always catch up to you. We must face our mistakes head-on or risk those mistakes coming back to hurt the people we love.’

He’s right. He’s always been right. I have to face who I am, what I am, and I have to take responsibility. 

Thank you for loving me, Ana-chan. Words can’t express how happy you’ve made me and I can never apologize enough for ruining your life. Please… please just forget that you ever met me. Move on with your life and find happiness.

I didn’t say it as often as I should have, but I truly do love you. I’ve loved you since the moment we met and I’ll continue loving you until the day I die.

I’ll leave it up to you whether or not you tell the Rampage the truth about me, but I ask that you let them know that I love them. I hold my memories close to my heart and I will never forget any of you, though I hope you all forget me.

I’m sorry, Ana, truly. I know it’s not much, but I transferred my apartment into your name. You can do what you want with it and everything inside. Should you sell my things, you’ll be left with plenty of cash to pay for whatever you desire.

Forever yours, Riku.』

Tears were sliding down her face, heart aching. “Riku, you idiot,” she sobbed, rubbing at her eyes in a failed attempt to stop the tears. “How can you tell me to move on and then tell me how much you love me? You absolute idiot!”

Ana knew what this meant. 

Riku was going to do something dumb and she had to find him before he could. She had no idea how she was going to do this, though the details didn’t matter at that moment.

Pain and fear turned to determination as she ran from the apartment, the letter tucked into her hoodie pocket. She was determined to find the man she loved no matter the cost. Whether or not she slapped some sense into him was still up for debate.

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━━

The sun was beginning to sink low on the horizon, the sky fading from blue to a mixture of red and orange. The cold air felt like tiny needles against her face as she ran, though she paid it no mind, far too focused on the task at hand.

It felt as if she had been searching for ages and was no closer to finding the male, something that seriously frustrated her. Where the hell was he? She tried to pull from all the delinquent and yakuza dramas she’d seen in her life, but that list was fairly small.

Just as she was about to call Zin for help, she caught sight of something in the distance. Taking a step closer, she realized it was Mikaru standing at the end of a dead-end street and he wasn’t alone. Though she could only see his back, she was sure it was Riku. 

Behind Mikaru was the Sumida River, the surface of the water peaceful as if these two men weren’t about to fight for their lives in front of it. She knew she didn’t have the strength to go against Mikaru, but if she could push him into the river, perhaps that would give her enough time to grab Riku and run away. With any luck, he’ll be eaten by a school of fish.

“So, what now, Riku? Eh?” Mikaru held out his arms in an exasperated motion. “Is our lil cat n mouse game finally gonna end, hm?”

“It should have ended a long time ago,” grunted Riku, eyes narrowed at the male.

“For once, we agree,” he grinned, tugging a large knife from his coat. With a war cry, he ran toward Riku with the knife outstretched.

Riku showed no sign of dodging and Ana cursed, knowing what he was thinking – he was going to atone for his sins by dying. She wasn’t about to let that happen so, without a moment of hesitation, she ran as fast as she could toward them.

She threw herself in front of him just as Mikaru thrust the knife forward.  Riku’s eyes widened, his breath leaving his lungs. She felt pressure against her stomach but no pain. Perhaps it was the adrenaline or perhaps she was just too focused on protecting the reckless idiot behind her.

“If you want to kill Riku, you’ll have to go through me first!”

“That can be arranged,” smirked Mikaru, tugging the knife free before raising it again.

Riku finally snapped out of his shock, grabbing her roughly before turning so that the knife went into his side. His jaw clenched in pain, his grip on her shoulders tightening.

“I’ll kill both of you!” he laughed maniacally, pulling the knife free once more. 

With Ana there, Riku found his will to keep fighting. More importantly, he needed to get her to the hospital for her wound before she bled out. He knew that, as long as Mikaru was alive, her life would always be in danger.

Cocking his fist back, Riku slammed it against the male’s face, his eyes darkening. Mikaru stumbled back from the blow, broken nose reigniting with pain. Riku took this opportunity to kick the knife from his hand before starting a vicious assault on the male, punching him repeatedly without giving him the chance to recover.

His legs gave out beneath him, body crumbling to the ground. This meant nothing to Riku as he straddled the male, every punch filled with rage and pain – at himself, at Mikaru, at his boss. There were so many things, so many choices and mistakes for him to be angry over. More than anything, he was pissed off about Ana getting hurt twice.

The assault continued until he was out of breath, his vision blurred by the blood loss. He slid off of the unconscious male, falling onto his back against the concrete.

“Riku!” Ana rushed over to him, kneeling at his side. His shirt was soaked with blood, his skin pale.

He looked up at her through half-lidded eyes. “Why are you here?”

“Stop talking,” she muttered, pressing her hand against the wound to try and stop the blood. ‘I have to call an ambulance!’ “Riku, baby, please put your hands over the wound!”

He grunted, doing as she ordered. “Are you okay?”

She scoffed in disbelief. “You were stabbed and you’re asking me if I’m okay?”

“So were you.”

Her brow furrowed. ‘He’s right, I was… why don’t I feel any pain?’ She glanced down, early seeing a hole in her hoodie. There was no blood, though. Reaching into the pocket, she removed his letter and her phone, both of which had a deep cut in the center. The knife had gone through the letter before shattering the phone screen, saving her.

Riku laughed when he realized this, relief flooding him. This quickly turned to a coughing fit, pain flooding his system. He could taste the blood on his tongue, a familiar taste that he would never get used to.

“Be still!” She hissed angrily, shoving the items back into her pocket. With her phone broken, she had no choice but to go off in search of help. Her eyes flickered to Mikaru.

She couldn’t leave Riku on the off chance that Mikaru woke up and finished him off. She considered dragging him off the edge and into the river but decided against it.

“Give me your hand,” she ordered, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet. He grunted in pain, arm over his stomach as his other hand clutched at the wound. She put his arm around her shoulders. “Put your weight on me.”

Despite not wanting to do so, he had no choice because his strength was rapidly fading, vision blurring. “Ana-chan,” he breathed out. 

She huffed from the effort it was taking to help him down the street. “Yeah?”

“Just let me go.”

“Absolutely not!” She snapped, hand tightening around his wrist. “I’ll never let you go, Riku!”

He smiled softly. “Thank you… for loving me.”

“Riku!” Ana cried out when his body went limp, unconsciousness slipping from him. She tried to keep him upright but he was just too heavy, his body slumping to the ground. “Shit!” She looked around frantically, spying a taxi in the distance.

She ran toward it so quickly that her body slammed against the side, startling the driver. He looked at her in shock as her bloody hand slammed against the window.

“Please help! Riku’s going to die!” 

He glanced behind her, seeing the male lying on the ground, as still as the grave. “Get in!”

She hopped into the passenger seat as he took off down the street toward Riku, both of them jumping out as soon as the car came to a stop. With her help, the two managed to load Riku into the back and she slid in with him, pressing her hand against his wound.

“Please hurry!”

“Please don’t die in my car, man!” he cried, the tires squealing as he took off. “I don’t want a haunted cab!”

She didn’t even hear his comment, too focused on the pale face of her boyfriend. Tears slid down her cheeks, falling onto his own. “Please… please don’t leave me, Riku. You promised, remember?” She leaned down, forehead against his own as she whispered out, “You said you’d never leave…”

When they finally reached the hospital, the ER was overcrowded with people. There had been a large pile up so the staff were running around, trying to assist the people who had the most dangerous injuries.

The cab driver helped her carry Riku into the hospital, his feet dragging across the floor. 

“We need help over here!” called the male, trying to get the attention of a nurse who was rushing past.

“Please!” Ana cried, blinking back her tears. “He’s going to bleed out!”

The woman behind the desk picked up the phone, saying something into the receiver before putting it back down and rushing over to them. “Was he in the accident?”

“He was stabbed! He – he -” Tears fell from her eyes, unable to be held back any longer. Panic was beginning to take hold of her, her body trembling. “Please help him!”

He flatlines and they put him on the gurney to take him back. She begs him not to leave her.

She reached forward, pressing two fingers to his neck. “He has no pulse.” With a curse, she rushed over to her desk, grabbing the phone again. “Code blue at the entrance! Code blue!”

“No pulse?” It felt as if her own heart stopped, the words bouncing around her brain but not quite sinking in.

“Lay him down, quick!” ordered the woman as she returned to them, helping them lay him down. She kneeled beside him, beginning chest compressions.

A group of nurses came running from the back, bringing a crash cart with them.

“Riku, please!” Ana sobbed, shaking his shoulder. “Please wake up!”

“Get her back!” 

The cab driver did as he was ordered, wrapping his arms around her in order to pull her away from the group. She fought against him, trying to return to his side.

“Please don’t go where I can’t follow, Riku!”

They cut his shirt, placing the paddles against his chest. “Clear!”

His body shifted from the shock but his heart didn’t start.

“Again!”

“Riku please!” She screamed, still fighting against the man’s hold. “I’ll never forgive you if you don’t wake up!”

The other patients in the waiting area were watching on in horror as they worked to resuscitate him, sending Ana pitying looks that only made her feel worse. 

“Clear!”

His body was shocked again and the nurse placed her fingers against the side of his neck. “We’ve got a pulse!”

Relief flooded her, her legs giving out beneath her. The cabbie slowly lowered them both to the ground, his hand rubbing her upper arm in a comforting manner as she sobbed.

Riku was lifted onto a gurney before they started to wheel him into the back.

Ana jumped up, shoving the cabbie away and attempting to follow but she was stopped by the woman who had been sitting at the desk. “Please, I need to be with him!”

“You’re not allowed into the surgery room,” she spoke softly, knowing how upset Ana was. “Please have a seat. I promise I’ll let you know his condition as soon as possible.”

She could only stare at the double doors as they closed behind the woman, fear and pain curling around her like a heavy blanket. 

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━━

“Got any fours?”

Ana glanced up at Zin who was sitting across from her before glancing at the cards in her hand. “Go fish.”

Clicking his tongue, he grabbed a card from the top of the pile.

It had been nearly two days since Riku was taken into surgery and, though the surgery had been successful, he hadn’t yet woken up. Obviously, she hadn’t been able to tell the doctor the entire truth about the situation, not wanting Riku to get into trouble, but she had made it clear that he had been stabbed by a psychopath. 

The doctor was convinced that Riku wasn’t waking up because he didn’t want to. He claimed this was quite common among patients who have gone through a traumatic experience and he told her that the only thing they could do was be patient.

This was not her strong suit, especially not where Riku was involved. She had been losing her mind and had no choice but to call Zin and tell him everything. She had only planned on telling him that Riku had been stabbed but, once she started speaking, she couldn’t stop. She told him everything, unloading all of her fear and stress.

Though mostly confused and shocked, Zin didn’t complain. He listened to her patiently as he rushed over to the hospital to meet her. Honestly, she wasn’t sure what would have happened to her without him there supporting her.

Her eyes fell on the unconscious male, a frown tugging at her lips.

“He just needs time,” said Zin softly. Despite his reassurances, he also felt very worried by the fact that Riku had yet to wake up. He had to be strong for her, though.

“I know,” she sighed, laying her cards down so she could run a hand through her hair. “I just miss him, Zin. I…” Tears gathered in her eyes but she blinked them back, turning her attention to the window.

It was late, the sky navy blue and dotted with tiny stars, barely visible because of the bright city lights. The moon was a waxing gibbous, the bottom half covered by thin clouds. It was a beautiful sight, but it seemed so dull to her. Everything seemed so much more dull without Riku.

“I know, Ana-chan,” Zin smiled sadly, reaching out to pat her hand. His eyes flickered to her arm and then to the bags beneath her eyes. He knew she hadn’t slept since he was brought into the hospital. “How are you feeling? You should really get some rest.”

Her nose wrinkled at the thought. “I’m fine.”

Zin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know you’re as stubborn as he is, but you can’t just not sleep.”

“I refuse to sleep until he wakes up.”

He just sighed again, resisting the urge to facepalm. Before he could scold her, he caught movement from the corner of his eye. He figured it was just the nurse coming in to check on them but, when he glanced over, he realized Riku was stirring.

“Ana-chan!”

Since she was looking out the window, she hadn’t yet noticed this. “I’ve made up my mind and nothing you say will change that.”

“He’s waking up!”

Her head snapped toward him so quickly that he worried she might have whiplash. Sure enough, a soft groan passed Riku’s lips as his eyes fluttered open, brow furrowed in pain.

His body felt heavy, as if it were made out of lead, and there was an incessant beeping to his right that made him want to punch something. Confusion was the first thing he felt, his foggy brain trying to fill in the gaps and piece together where he was and what had happened.

Ana swallowed hard, resisting the urge to scream his name and throw herself on top of him. Her legs trembled as she stood up, slowly approaching his bed. “Riku?”

At the sound of her shaky voice, he snapped his head to the side, attempting to push himself up only to hiss in pain and fall back down against the pillow.

“Don’t try to get up!” she scolded softly, glancing at his side to see if the wound had started to bleed. “You’ll reopen your stitches.”

He glanced down, realizing he was wearing a hospital gown and had an IV in his arm. He hated hospitals and had been taught to avoid them no matter how bad the injury was. Inhaling slowly, he pushed himself up, vision blurring and head throbbing.

“Riku!” scolded Ana again, trying to push him back down but he shook his head which certainly didn’t help to clear up his vision.

“I don’t do hospitals,” he muttered. “Take me home.”

Zin hummed, appearing at the end of the bed and holding up his hand. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Huh?” Riku was confused by the sudden question and he shifted, nervous about the male’s presence. How much did he know? The question worried him.

“If you answer correctly, we can leave.”

“Zin,” she stressed in disbelief. “He’s in no condition to leave!”

“I know.” He sent her a reassuring smile before addressing the male once more. “If you answer incorrectly, you have to stay here without complaint until the doctor releases you. Deal?”

Riku pursed his lips, eyes narrowed at Zin’s hand. He tried his hardest to focus his eyes but his brain refused to cooperate. “Four.”

“Wrong!” he grinned, stepping closer so Riku could see the three fingers he was holding up.

Ana breathed a sigh of relief while Riku huffed in annoyance, falling back against his pillow once again.

Zin patted her on the shoulder before grabbing his jacket from the chair. “I need to go check on the others. Don’t give her too much trouble, Riku, she hasn’t slept.” He waved to the two of them before leaving the room, closing the door to give them some privacy.

Riku frowned at the words, his eyes scanning her face. When he noticed just how exhausted she looked, his frown deepened. “Ana-chan -“

Sobs escaped her lips, tears sliding down her cheeks. She didn’t want to break down in front of him like this, but she was far too tired to try and control herself.

“Please don’t cry,” he told her softly, sliding his hand into hers.

“I thought… I thought I l-lost you…” Her eyes met his and he swallowed hard, taken aback by the raw emotion that lingered there. “You promised to – to never leave… you… you’re a dumbass, Riku!”

His fingers curled around her wrist and, with a sharp tug, he pulled her onto the bed with him, arms wrapped tightly around her body. Her fingers curled around his hospital robe, face buried in his chest. She could feel his heart beating beneath her touch and it was comforting to her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, fighting against his own tears as he pulled her closer. A simple sorry didn’t feel sufficient for everything that had happened and yet… it was all he could say. 

He always knew he loved her, from the moment they first met. There was something deep inside him that knew he would love her for the rest of his life, but he never realized the true impact she had on him. He never realized that she had become his happiness, his reason to keep moving forward.

Somewhere along the way, she had become his safety net, the one person that kept him from drowning in his own self-loathing. Alone, the weight of his mistakes and poor choices weighed heavily on him, forcing his head beneath the water until he could no longer breathe.

With Ana, though, it all felt more bearable. For the first time in a long time, he felt hopeful. He felt loved. He felt like he was enough. How could he possibly put that into words? How could he make her realize just how much she meant to him? He thought he was doing what was best by leaving her.

He closed his eyes, tears forming small wet spots on his pillow. 

“I love you, Riku,” she whispered, clutching his clothes tighter. “No matter how dangerous it is, I want to follow you on whatever path you take. I don’t want to live without you. I… I can’t live without you.”

Though it was harder for him to admit, he felt the same way. He was perfectly content with Mikaru killing him when he tried to leave Ana’s life. Without her, his world was bleak and his demons threatened to smother him. She was a light in the darkness, though, acting as a protective shield around him that he didn’t feel he deserved.

His hand found the back of her neck and she slowly lifted her head. For several moments, the two just stared at each other. He may not be able to express how he was feeling with words, but she could see it clearly within his glassy eyes. 

With a smile, she cupped his face before leaning down to claim his lips. He groaned in appreciation, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, hands on her hips as he attempted to bring her closer but there was already no space between them.

His tongue slid across her bottom lip and she didn’t hesitate to give him access, their tongues dancing. Neither of them had ever felt so overwhelmed by love and warmth before. It was intoxicating, like a drug that they were both addicted to and couldn’t get enough of.

They didn’t pull away until their lungs were screaming for air, the two of them panting softly as they stared at each other again, foreheads touching. 

Riku swallowed hard, hands gripping her hips tighter. When he spoke, his voice was a soft whisper meant only for her. “Don’t ever leave me, Ana-chan.”

A smile tugged at her lips as she brushed the hair away from his forehead. “I should be saying that to you.”

“I’m sorry,” he frowned, guilt swirling in his beautiful brown eyes. “I thought I was doing the right thing…”

“That’s all any of us can do,” she hummed softly. “Just know that I will always chase after you. No matter how far away you run, no matter what situation you find yourself in, I’ll find you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” she whispered, claiming his lips again.

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━━

Prompts (listed in order of appearance):

☆ #26 – “Sometimes I get so tired, I don’t even know myself.” / Seeing Double / Working to Exhaustion / “You look awful.”

☆ #18 – “I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened.” / Blindfold (alt 1 – Betrayal) / Tortured for Information / “Hit him harder.”

☆ #17 – “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.” / Collar / Touch Aversion / “Leave Me Alone.”

☆ #23 – “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.” / Shadows / Stalking / “Who’s there?”

☆ #4 – “I see the danger, it’s written there in your eyes.” / Cattle Prod / Shock / “You in there?”

☆ #21 – “See the chains around my feet.” / Vows (alt 10 – Shaking) / Restraints / “Don’t move.”

☆ #6 – “Do or die, you’ll never make me, because the world will never take my heart.” / Recording / Made to Watch / “It should have been me.”

☆ #20 – “People don’t change people, time does.” / Blanket (alt 3 – Brass Knuckles) / Found Family / “You will regret touching them.”

☆ #5 – “You better pray I don’t get up this time around.” / Debris / Pinned Down / “It’s broken.”

☆ #15 – “I don’t need you to help me, I can handle things myself.” / Makeshift Bandages / Suppressed Suffering / “I’m fine.”

☆ #27 – “You drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding.” / Matches (alt 12 – Broken) / Scars / “Let me see.”

☆ #24 – “I’ve got a head full of chemicals, mouth full of ridicule.” / Goodbye Note / Neglect (alt 4 – Decoy) / “I thought they were with you.”

☆ #28 – “We might not make it to the morning, so go on and tell me now.” / Bloody Knife / Sacrifice / “You’ll have to go through me.” 

☆ #10 – “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?” / Broken Phone / Stranded / “You said you’d never leave.”

☆ #8 – “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” / Overcrowded ER / Outnumbered (alt 11 – Panic) / “It’s all for nothing.”

☆ #16 – “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” / Gurney / Flatline / “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

☆ #1 – “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.” / Safety Net / Swooning (alt 6 – Playing Cards) / “How many fingers am I holding up?”

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━━

-> High&Low/Rampage Taglist: @kiraaaeon, @simpforchuchu, @star2fishmeg, @thatpoindexterpixy @manhwabtch

-> General Taglist: @asterhaze, @mrskenpachizaraki

[cevascpoclo-blog]

⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

Linux platform Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc cheats

↟↟↟↟↟

    Critique poor 219

Review good 7k

Platforms Linux

Critiques It’s hard to go beyond this point explaining Danganronpa

Byakuya's voice actor is better than his entire character. Ah yes, the first Dangan Discourse: Team Leon or Sayaka? Sayaka was willing to betray Makoto's trust for her own gain, but this is also the same girl who had devoted her entire life to and constructed her entire identity around her career. Monokuma wasnt just threatening her friends, he was threatening her entire world. She implies that she'd already suffered enough to get to this point in her career, but she was willing to do it because it was her life and her world and her dream. And she never even got to learn that the whole class dies if they get the killer wrong, so all she probably felt she had to do was sacrifice one individual who seemed to be going nowhere anyway, a punk who took his talent and his immense luck for granted. And while it is true that Leon most likely came back to kill Sayaka after having already shaken her off, his FTEs show clear signs of paranoia and anxiety about the entire killing game to the point where he literally has a panic attack. Imagine being in his shoes when he suddenly got a note from the girl he was very clearly crushing on to come see her, the brief surge of joy and relief he must have felt that the one person he trusted was reaching out to him. And then, imagine those fleeting feelings of hope being immediately ripped away when that very person locked him in her room and made his worst nightmare a reality. I find it hard to believe that anyone in his shoes wouldn't have all but lost their mind at that point. Perhaps that's what Leon was talking about post-trial. They were probably both good kids, but they were also the weakest out of everyone and were kind of doomed to fail in a killing game environment. Tldr: Neither Leon nor Sayaka deserved to die and I dont understand why a majority of the fandom insists on picking sides.

  I can't hear Leon's voice the same after hearing shuichi's voice too much lol. More than a year later, and I'm still crying over Gonta. Leon's about cruel and unusual... Official website. WHY DID IT HAVE TA BE GONTA. HE WAS MY FAVORITE NICE GUY! SCREW YOU KOKICHI.

We got good music but at what cost. HAHAHAHAH NO IM STILL NOT OVER THE LAST FOUR EXECUTIONS HSIWOWOWO. It's 2017 and i still feel bad about all of them ( except for Junko she can choke.

  How can a room be completely soundproof if you can slide something under the door? Not very logical imo. Changed: 30 Dec 2019 03:06 AM PDT. Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc.

emblem looks has O 01/31/2020 HQZU JRFK girl he was very clearly 831 914 LEAM 54 RFO 64 658 CTE 697 TQ D Monday, 16 December 2019 14:06:42 47 92 75 has a panic attack. Imagine 14 43 have been? 17 859 41 21 71 CFKN 232 I 12/12/2019 01:06 PM 92 but at what cost 94 39 727 11/19/19 0:06:42 +03:00 X 42 435 95 11 912 237 25 signs of 21 HU 778 12/21/2019 JF 597 64 VIR 55 YYU on to come see 425 RJU S 958 564 49 25 807 509 40 OIS 93 289 14 95 408 966 26 377 Thursday, 16 January 2020 20 60 17 L 92 34 968 I true that Leon 830

What instrument could it have been? Idk maybe the bloody dumbbell but hey Im the moron here

1:13:06 I find it interesting how the emblem on Makoto's jacket looks different than normal in this shot. The emblem looks like the Organization XIII symbol from Kingdom Hearts II. It's so weird listening to Leon's voice after v3. What are the lyrics of this song. That class trial gave me anxiety. It was obviously Noel she wanted to say this is everyone's Christmas present.

I love how calmly Togami states that Genocide Jack is Toko. 5:39 bloodlust? That extreme demon on geometry dash.

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[biotechtimes]

UPPSC Govt Forest Officer & Food Safety Officer Recruitment 2020

New Post has been published on https://biotechtimes.org/2020/04/27/uppsc-govt-forest-officer-food-safety-officer-recruitment-2020/

UPPSC Govt Forest Officer & Food Safety Officer Recruitment 2020

Govt Forest Officer & Govt Food Safety Officer Recruitment 2020

UPPSC Govt Forest Officer & Food Safety Officer Jobs for Biotechnology, Microbiology, Biochemistry, Food Technology, Botany and Zoology candidates. Interested applicants from science background can check out all of the details regarding Food Safety Officer Recruitment 2020 – UPPSC Job

Combined State / Upper Subordinate Services (PCS) Examination, 2020 And Assistant Conservator of Forest (A.C.F.) / Range Forest Officer (R.F.O.) Services Examination – 2020

Date of Commencement of Online Application: 21/04/2020 Last Date for Receipt of Examination Fee On-line in the Bank: 18/05/2020 Last Date for Submission of Online Application: 21/05/2020

IMPORTANT

1- Candidates applying for Assistant Conservator of Forest / Range Forest Officer Services Examination-2020 should note that they are required to appear in the Combined State / Upper Subordinate Services (Preliminary) Examination 2020 and qualify the same for going to the second stage of Assistant Conservator of Forest / Range Forest Officer Services Main Examination (Written) and Interview.

2- Candidates desirous of applying for Assistant Conservator of Forest / Range Forest Officer Services Examination as well as for Combined State/ Upper Subordinate Services Examination can apply through a Common Online Application Form subject to meeting the requisite Eligibility Criteria by them.

3- If at any stage it is found that the candidate has concealed or misrepresented any desired/required information, his candidature may be canceled and other appropriate action like debarment may be initiated against him.

No. of Vacancies: – Presently the number of vacancies for the Combined State / Upper Subordinate Services Examination is about 200 and the requisition for the post of ACF/RFO has not yet been received. If any such requisition is received before the result of pre-examination the same will be included in the examination.

Name of the Post: Designated Officer / Food Safety Officer

Eligibility Criteria Food Safety Officer Recruitment 2020

1) Post Graduate Degree in Chemistry as one of the subjects from a University established by law in India or a qualification recognized by the Government as equivalent thereto, or

2) Atleast one of qualification prescribed for Direct Recruitment to the post of Food Safety Officer given as below:

A Bachelor’s Degree in Food Technology or Dairy Technology or Biotechnology or Oil Technology or Agricultural Science or Veterinary Sciences or Bio-Chemistry or Microbiology or Post Graduate Degree in Chemistry or Degree in Medicine from a recognized University or any other equivalent/recognized qualification notified by the Central Government, Provided that no person who has any financial interest in the manufacture, import or sale of any article of food shall be appointed to be a Food Safety Officer.

Name of The Post

Pay Scale / Grade Pay / Status of Post

Assistant conservator of Forest Rs.15600/- to Rs.39100/-, Grade Pay- Rs.5400/-, (Level 10 in the pay matrix Group) Group “B”, Gazetted. Range Forest Officer of Forest Rs.9300/- to Rs.34800/-, Grade Pay – Rs.4800/-, (Level 8 pay matrix 47600 – 151100) Group “B”, Gazetted.

Under the Assistant Conservator of Forest / Range Forest Officer Services Examination.

For the Post of Assistant Conservator of Forest:- ESSENTIAL QUALIFICATION A Bachelor’s degree with at least one of the subject namely Botany, Zoology, Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics, Geology, Forestry, Statistics or a Bachelor’s degree in Agriculture or Bachelor’s degree in Engineering from a University established by Law in India or a Foreign University approved by the Central Government from time to time, or a qualification recognized by the Government as equivalent thereto.  

PREFERENTIAL QUALIFICATION: A candidate who has (1) served in the Territorial Army for a minimum period of two years, or (2) obtained a “B” certificate of N.C.C. shall other things being equal, be given preference in the matter of direct recruitment.

FOR THE POST OF RANGE FOREST OFFICER:- ESSENTIAL QUALIFICATION- A Bachelor’s Degree with two or more of the subjects, namely Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Botany, Zoology, Forestry, Geology, Agriculture, Statistics, Horticulture and Environment or Bachelor’s Degree in Agriculture or Bachelor’s degree in Engineering or Bachelor’s degree in Veterinary Science from a University established by Law in India or possess a qualification recognized by the Government as equivalent thereto.

PREFERENTIAL QUALIFICATION – A candidate who has: (I) Served in the Territorial Army for a minimum period of two years, or (II) Obtained a ‘B’ Certificate of National Cadet Corps, or (III) Represented the state in any game, shall, other things being equal, be given preference in the matter of direct recruitment.

Reservation: The reservation for Scheduled Castes of U.P. / Scheduled Tribes of U.P. / Other Backward Class of U.P. / Economically weaker section candidates of U.P. shall be admissible in accordance with the provisions of relevant Govt. Rules. Accordingly, reservation for the category under horizontal as Dependents of Freedom Fighters of U.P, Ex-Serviceman of U.P., P.H. of U.P. and Women candidates shall be admissible on the settlement of vacancies. Reservation for P.H. of U.P. shall be permissible for the notified/identified Posts.

(i) Age Limit: For the Combined State / Upper Subordinate Services Examination and Assistant Conservator of Forest / Range Forest Officer Services Examination: Candidates must have attained the age of 21 years and must not have crossed the age of 40 years on July 1, 2020, i.e. they must have not been born earlier than 2nd July 1980 and not later than July 1, 1999. For PH candidates, the maximum age limit is 55 years i.e. they must have not been born before 02 July 1965.

(ii) Relaxation in Upper Age Limit: (a) Upper age limit shall be greater by five years for candidates belonging to Scheduled Castes of U.P., Scheduled Tribes of U.P., Other Backward Classes of U.P., Skilled players of U.P. of Classified Games, State Govt. Employees of U.P. including Teachers / Staff of the Basic Shiksha Parishad of U.P. and Teachers / Staff of the Government Aided Madhyamik Vidyalayas of U.P. i.e. they must have not been born before 2nd July 1975. (b) Upper age limit shall be greater by fifteen years for physically handicapped persons of U.P. (c) Upper age limit shall also be greater by five years for Group- ’B’ posts for the Emergency Commissioned Officers / Short Service Commissioned Officers / Ex-Army Personnel’s of U.P. who have rendered five years service in Army, but there shall be no reservation for Group- ’B’ posts. In case of availability of Group-’C’ posts in the Examination, the Age relaxation and reservation shall be given according to Rule.

Application Fee: In the ON-LINE Application process, after completing the procedure of first stage, Category wise prescribed examination fee is to be deposited as per instructions provided in second stage. The prescribed fee of preliminary examination for different categories is as under:

(i) Unreserved/Economically weaker sections/Other Backward Class Exam fee Rs. 100/- + On-line processing fee Rs. 25/- Total = Rs. 125/- Scheduled Caste/ Scheduled Tribe : Exam fee Rs. 40/- + On-line processing fee Rs. 25/- Total = Rs. 65/- (iii) Handicapped Exam fee NIL+ On-line processing fee Rs. 25/- Total = Rs. 25/- (iv) Dependents of the Freedom Fighters/Ex-Serviceman/Women According to their original category

The online application will be completed in three stages :

Application Procedure

First Stage: On clicking ”Apply”, Candidate Registration will be displayed. Basic Registration form will be displayed on clicking the ’Candidate Registration’ respective to Examination. After filling the Basic Registration form, the candidates must check all the information filled by them. If any correction/modification is required, click on the “Edit” button and ensure the required corrections / modifications. After being fully satisfied with all the information filled, click on the’Submit’ button. Consequently, the registration of the first stage shall be over. Thereafter ”Print Registration Slip” shall be displayed and Print of Registration Slip must be taken by clicking on Print Registration Slip.

Second Stage: After the completion of the procedure of the first stage, ’Fee to be deposited [in INR]’ shall be displayed with caption ”Click here to proceed for payment”. After clicking the above caption of ”Click here to proceed for payment”, the home page of State Bank MOPS (Multi Option Payment System) shall be displayed comprising of 03 modes of payment viz. (i) NET BANKING (ii) CARD PAYMENTS and (iii) OTHER PAYMENT MODES. After depositing the required fee by any one of the above-prescribed modes, ”Payment Acknowledgement Receipt (PAR)” shall be displayed alongwith detail of fee deposition, the print of which must be taken by clicking on ”Print Payment Receipt”.

Third stage: On completion of the procedure of the second stage, click on ”Proceed for final submission of application form” as a result of which ’format’ shall be displayed. The candidates are required to enter all the required information in the format. The photo and signature, duly scanned shall be uploaded also. The candidate should scan his/her photograph and signature in the prescribed size (the size will be mentioned at the specified space in the On-line application). This should also be kept in notice that the photo must be latest passport size. In case the photo and signature, scanned in the prescribed size, are not uploaded, then the On-line system will not accept it. The procedure-related for scanning of the photo and signature is laid down in Appendix-1.

After filling in all entries in the format, the candidates may click “PREVIEW” to see for themselves that all entries and information are correctly entered and after satisfying themselves should click the “Submit” button to forward the same to the Commission. It is essential that the candidate should fill all information On-line correctly according to the instructions given and click the ’Submit’ button by the last date prescribed for submission of the application form. If the candidate does not click the “Submit” button, the ON-LINE application process shall not be completed finally and the candidate shall be accountable for this. After clicking the ’Submit’ button, the candidate may take a print of the application to preserve it with them. In the event of any discrepancy, the candidate will be required to submit the said print in the office of the Commission, otherwise, his/her request shall not be entertained.

LAST DATE FOR RECEIPT OF APPLICATIONS FOR FOOD SAFETY OFFICER RECRUITMENT 2020:

Online Application process must be completed (including filling up of Part-I, Part-II and Part-III of the Form) before the last date of form submission according to the advertisement, after which the Web. The link will be disabled.

View Notification

Apply Online

[subparatbestcomics]

Artist’s Commentary

Rather than a new page this week, I will instead be reviewing and providing commentary for the previous 10 pages published. For the most part I will be going over my own mistakes, as well as explaining some of the choices made, and whether or not they worked. Before we start however, I would like to note these pages are not complete, but more of a rough draft. There are several reasons for this. One major reason, is that it has been several years since I have drawn with any regularity. Producing a page each week will, I hope, shake off the rust. Additionally, neither my or my brother's hardware is up to the task of rendering RFO. One day, RFO may see an updated version that better fits our mutual vision of this project. And so, the commentary begins. RFO 1 -Jude Anderson lives in a poor neighborhood; identical row houses with unkempt lawns and no decoration outside. -My first mistake was leaving the sky blank. Its meant to be near midnight, but the bright sky and lack of shading imply otherwise. -Jude's front door and the paneling on it will change in scale just about every panel. Partly, this is because there was no consistent model. -Jude's house -interior and exterior- were modeled in Lego Digital Designer. -Jude's house number is 616, a less popular interpretation of the number of the beast. -My original attempt at this was painted in photoshop. The foreshortened fences were an absolute nightmare. I'm still not too happy about them as drawn now, but its still better than it was. -I forgot to shade the first floor window shutters. Oops. RFO 2 -Jude is whistling the ever popular 'Happy Birthday'. I’m not totally certain about the notation here, because I haven't had to read music since middle school. (side note: This song recently entered the public domain) -Jude's outfit was inspired by Back to the Future's Marty McFly. -I forgot to put a candle in the birthday apple pie. -You may notice Jude has no visible fridge in his kitchen. Jude cant afford a full fridge, or fit it in his kitchen. Instead, anything he needs cold is kept in a basement mini-fridge. -Jude’s facial features and hair take inspiration from Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers of Scooby Doo. -You may notice the quality of characters hands changing. Hands are still difficult for me, but I'm hoping to improve. -My brother pointed out that the carpet in Jude's living room looks like grass. I'm not really certain how one draws carpet. -The leftmost painting depicts two figures with an arm around the others shoulder. A third figure appears later, but there is no story significance, I just forgot what it was supposed to be. RFO 3 -The overly enthusiastic individual at Jude's door is meant to be androgynous. I feel I made them a little too masculine -The design on the handbag clearly denotes a christian denomination, although not any specific one. I wanted it to be generic, but evocative of several things. (a cross, a sword, an angel, a shooting star, etc) -While it was done primarily to help them stand out, the white outline around the stranger nicely implies a holy glow. -I'm most proud of this page, and how uncomfortable and annoyed Jude is by this stranger interrupting his birthday and asking about religion at midnight. -Several of these pages were first sketched in faint colored pencil. Its not meant to show up when scanned, but clearly that didn't work quite as advertised. -You may notice proportions are inconsistent, especially regarding head size. Like most of my mistakes, I did not notice until it was already too late to fix without starting the whole page over. -The handbag is unshaded in the last panel. RFO 4 -I'm not sure how I feel about these sound effects in retrospect. I'm still toying with how they work. -One habit I need to break is placing speech bubbles too close to the papers edge. The scanner sometimes cuts them! -As Jude gets more confused and frustrated by strangers popping up at or in his house, his hair gets wilder. -Jude's house layout is similar to several I personally have been in. RFO 5 -I'm not happy at all with the posing of the officer; they're so stiff and lifeless. While I could try to pass it off as part of the stranger's idea of how a police officer asks, the truth is that even when my skills weren't rusty; posing was never my strong suit. -Some panels have blank backgrounds partly due to laziness on my part, and partly so the paper could be held without smearing -The officer's nametag reads 'GATES'.This, along with his unusual badge and emblems, indicate that this is still the same person who was at Jude's door only a minute before. RFO 6 -I don't have much to say about this page, except that the officers uniform is visibly becoming simpler by the panel. This is because drawing those details was hurting my wrist. In the future I will try to be more economical with character design. RFO 7 -If the past ten weeks have taught me anything, its that I should plan out what I'm going to do more thoroughly. Jude's speech balloon was drawn first, and ended up over the other man's crotch. Now it looks stupid. -The officer (stranger) tends to be to Jude left, while the other man tends to the right. -The middle left panel is another I'm proud of, not for any major thing, but because tilting the head is difficult for me to do on purpose; especially when the part of the head where the jaw meets the neck is visible, but I think I did okay here. -The hard angles and edges of the final speech balloon show the officer is stern and serious. It is also shaped like a stop sign. RFO 8 -While the officer is still left of Jude (to the viewer), he is now right of the other man. Left positioning in RFO signifies benevolence, right signifies malice. It could have been the opposite just as easily, but sometimes you have to make an arbitrary choice for theming purposes. -The other man's hair forms horns on the sides and a tail in the back whereas the officer's (stranger's) hair is more flowing and wing-like. -Jude only owns one other jacket, as seen in his barren closet. -The officer's proportions in the bottom left are so off, I'm not sure why I thought it looked okay. -The other man's outfit and personality are meant to evoke a stereotypical used car salesman. Also Rodney Dangerfield! RFO 9 -Not much to say here. I will continue to simplify the style until an equilibrium is met between making things look good versus not destroying my wrist. -Also, the other man's sleeve in the first panel is missing its vertical stripes. RFO 10 -Jude's face in the last panel seems off to me. I don't quite know why, and I'm the one who drew it. -When I originally planned this page out, there was too much vertical space. It would have left me either having to draw their legs (which would been difficult with the furniture in the scene at leg height) or leaving a terrible amount of dead air above their heads. Instead, I tried to do something more visually interesting with that negative space, by making the last two panels more diagonal than horizontal.                                                                                                                                       Jacob Birmingham

[finefigure]

Unbreakable

Under the bludgeonings of chance,

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

                                 –William Ernest Henley, “Invictus”

It was the paragraph loop that did it.

We were the only ones on the ice. I was grappling with my biggest challenge that year: right forward inside loops. Nancy Blackwell-Grieder was working on RFO paragraph loops for the 2017 WFC.

I came around my loop just in time to see her rock onto her heel and overbalance. 

I saw it in slow motion, too far away to catch her when she fell.

After she screamed, the first thing she said was, “No, no, no, no, no…”

I don’t know what people normally say immediately after sustaining a major injury. However, I’m pretty sure you have to be a seriously focused athlete to have your overriding thought be, “This can’t happen so close to the competition.” But I knew that was what the “no”s were about.

That was around the second week of July.

On the last day of September, Nancy became the new World Figure Champion.

This recollection is not strictly in order. Trauma and excitement do that: they chop things up, bringing some into sharp focus and smearing or obliterating others.

And it is only a memory. It’s my experience of what happened, and therefore not remotely the whole story. For that, you’d have to ask her.

She didn’t want me to call 911.

“Let me see if I can get up first,” she said.

So we waited for a while. She called her husband, Tony. (I later had to call him back and explain what she’d been talking about.)

When she started shivering and still couldn’t stand, I yelled up to two boys playing in the stands above. Told them to tell the front desk there was someone injured on the ice.

In a minute, other people arrived to help. I went to gather her things and tell my student, Brendan, who had just gotten off the ice, what had happened. I barked information over my shoulder to the person on the phone with emergency services as I passed by and heard him say, “I don’t know.”

Between brief errands, I kept running back to where she was still lying on the ice. An EMT was removing her skates, and I was furious at how clumsy and rough he was being. I snatched them from him, to take them away and dry them. To do something useful. To try to blot out how hard she was shivering, every shake jolting pain through her injured body. I remember wanting to get down on the ice to hug her, try to keep her warm at least. But I couldn’t help at all.

Brendan and I followed the ambulance to the hospital in Nancy’s car. Her brother-in-law met us in the lobby and told us that she was in radiology. At some point, Brendan and I went and had lunch. I remember we lugged my skates and his and Nancy’s into every air-conditioned building we visited: it was a scorching-hot day, and we didn’t want to break down our heat-moldable skates by leaving them in the car. At some other point, Tony came out to the waiting room and sat with us while Nancy was in CT.

At a third point, I was in her hospital room with her, holding one of her hands while Tony held the other. She’d been given heavy painkillers and was kind of adorably loopy for a few minutes until a nurse came in and told us that the scans had shown that she had no broken bones. I couldn’t believe it, but I was so relieved.

The nurse said to Nancy, “Do you want to try standing up?”

The loopiness gone, Nancy put a hand to her face and took a couple of deep breaths.

“Sure,” she gritted.

I looked across her at Tony and said quietly, “That was really a no.”

He nodded. But the nurse was there, cheerfully, briskly insistent.

I left to give her some privacy. Nothing like having an audience for your most painful moments, particularly when you’re in a hospital gown.

The standing up did not go well.

They discharged her anyway, for some reason extremely reluctant to provide her with a wheelchair to get to the car, and telling her that no, they didn’t have any crutches, and anyway, she should try to just walk.

A later MRI revealed what the CT and x-rays had missed: two fractures to the pelvis and a torn right labrum. (Incidentally, had she tried to walk as advised by the emergency department personnel, she might have displaced the fracture and had to have surgery.)

No Worlds for her this year, I thought sadly.

It’s the afternoon of September 29, Day 1 of the championships. Nancy and I are in the same flight of competitors for this first set of figures. Everyone in the flight is standing by the door to the ice, waiting for the chief referee, Alicia, to give us our patch letters and instructions.

Nancy bends over, breathing hard, nauseous from nerves. I go over to try to comfort her, rub her back, and she leans against me. I can feel her heart pounding. It calms me down to have someone else to focus on. Something to do. A way to be useful.

Alicia arrives. We stand up straight and listen.

A week after the accident, Nancy was back coaching from the hockey box. For patch class, she had an on-ice assistant coach. Also, I scribed circles in front of where she was standing with her crutches, and she called people over to her one by one so she could see their tracings while she taught them. World Figure Sport’s Figure It Out Workshop was at the end of the month, and some of her students were testing and competing. I was one of them. It was my first competition ever, and some other people’s too. She didn’t want to let us down.

At the workshop, we pushed Nancy around the ice on a chair so she could help teach the workshop skaters. She acted as the chief referee for the exams and competition. Afterward, she drove Karen Courtland Kelly to the airport and then drove another hour back home.

A week or two after that, she told me she was getting back on the ice: she had a student who learned best by being moved around physically. The inside of my head started screaming a little. I asked her if she wanted me to be there. I could even move the student for her. She said she’d be fine, that I shouldn’t bother to come.

I said OK, but then found that I couldn’t sleep the night before that lesson. And I thought, Everything will probably be fine. But will you be able to live with yourself if it’s not?

I was lacing up my skates the next morning when Nancy walked in the door. She stopped dead and gave me the eye.

“You are so silly,” she informed me.

I shrugged. Whether I was silly or not, I had to make sure she was all right.

Everything was fine that day. The kid had a good lesson, and nobody fell over.

About a week after that, Nancy started practicing again. Face drawn, lips white, body shaking.

She’d catch me looking at her and say, “It’s only pain.”

Yeah.

“How is she doing that?” Richard Swenning whispers in my ear. We’re in the stands of Dobson Ice Arena in Vail, watching Nancy compete the double three. She’s on her third tracing, and it looks like close to one line where she comes nearest to us.

“I don’t know,” I mutter back, “but that’s her bad leg.”

Four tracings. Right on.

Five.

“How is she doing that?!”

I just shake my head.

Six.

We let our breaths out.

A funny thing: if you ask her how she was doing that, how she made it through any of it, she’ll say she has no idea.

Well, that makes all of us.

Once Nancy got back to preparing for the competition, I only saw her really discouraged once, and then just for a few minutes. We were practicing a couple of weeks before the WFC. I was in the hockey box retying my skate, and she abandoned her tracings and came to the boards where I was.

“I can’t feel it,” she said. “I can’t feel any of it anymore.”

I made some joke welcoming her to my world, but she wasn’t in a laughing mood.

“Yes, but no one expects you to feel it,” she rejoined, on the verge of tears. “I should be able to.”

I grabbed her gently by the sleeve.

“Hey. You’ve got this,” I told her.

“No. I don’t have this!” She named a couple of our competitors. “I know they can feel everything!”

“You’re not them. They’re not coming from where you’re coming from. You can only do what you can do. Right now. And even if you can’t feel it, your body knows what it’s supposed to do.”

She stood there for a moment, staring out at her tracings. Then she took a deep breath, nodded to herself, and skated back to them.

That was all.

The score sheet for the second-to-last flight of the competition – my flight – has just been posted. I do some quick math, smile, and make my way into the stands, joining two of Nancy’s young students on the floor by the boards at her patch.

My grin fades. It’s time for the paragraph loop.

In one hand, I’m holding one of Nancy’s pre-Worlds gifts to me: a little plush snowy owl. The fingers of my other hand are at my throat, touching the pendant of the necklace that was her other present. Two good-luck charms. I hope.

The whistle blows.

I’m barely aware that I’m stream-of-consciousness coaching her in a whisper. Bend, hold it, hold it, easy. That’s one. Great, right there, you’re fine, you’ve got this, come on, hold on. Two. Good. I don’t think I’m breathing. There’s more tension in me now than when I was on the ice less than an hour ago skating my own figures.

An agonizing two minutes later, she finishes the figure and skates off to prepare for the next one. I relax a little. She isn’t quite out of the woods yet, but she’s conquered the nemesis. I start smiling again.

Unable to keep the reason to myself, I lean over and say quietly to the nine-year-old next to me, “Do you know what happens now?”

She looks my way, shaking her head.

“If Nancy doesn’t fall, or touch down more than twice on the next three figures, she wins.”

The girl’s eyes go wide. I nod and show her my crossed fingers. She returns her attention to the ice, leaning forward on the boards. I slide over and say the same thing to the twelve-year-old, a more reserved child, who regards me solemnly for a moment and then nods once before shifting her eyes back to the action. (“So you’re who got them all worked up!” exclaims the older girl’s mother later. “They said they’d never been so nervous in their lives!”)

 Swiss S.

 Done.

 Maltese Cross.

 Done.

 Creative figure…

  Done.

 The two kids turn to me for a second, their eyes wild and shining, as we all applaud.

Later, Nancy will have a suspicion confirmed: she has severe osteoporosis throughout her body, to the point where some of her bones are difficult to see in x-rays. It would be dangerous for her to keep competing. Even so, it will take her a long time to bring herself to announce her retirement.

Nancy quit skating the first time after she passed her gold figure test in her late teens. When you quit skating as a teenager, you do it knowing that you’re giving up a high-level skating career for good. Maybe you’re sorry, or maybe you’re glad, but you know it’s permanent.

But then what if, through a set of completely unforeseen circumstances, that turns out not to be true? What if suddenly, one day when you’re in your early 50s, this crazy chance appears for you to skate again?

You grab it and run with it, because nobody gets a chance like that.

Imagine that. And then fast forward just three years and imagine being told that no, actually, you really shouldn’t do it anymore after all. No, now that you’re hooked on it all again, now that you love it again, more than you did the first time, now that you’re really good and getting some recognition for it—you need to stop.

Don’t get me wrong: I think it’s a good decision. It’s just that I can see that it might take a while to reconcile oneself to making it.

When she finally does that in the spring of 2018, she will throw herself wholeheartedly into being a coach and a WFS official. She’ll be the special guest judge at a workshop, standing in for Janet Lynn. Her patch class will become so popular that she will have to consider putting a cap on attendance. She’ll have retired from competing only to jump into another, bigger set of roles. It won’t be the same, but I suspect that it will grow into something even better.

But right now…

The competitors are lining up on the ice against the boards as the finishing touches are made to the awards podium. Dorothy Hamill is over there on the other side of the rink, getting ready to place the gold medal around the neck of the 2017 Ladies’ World Figure Champion. Olympians, world champions, and skating show stars are milling around casually in the background.

Standing here next to me on this magic black ice, Nancy murmurs, “Doesn’t this feel surreal?”

“No,” I tell her. “It feels exactly right.”

World Figure Sport has recently set up a scholarship fund in honor of Nancy. If you were moved by Nancy’s championship win, I know she would love it if you would donate to that fund, which will help introduce more skaters to the world of figures. You can make a donation by clicking here:

 https://squareup.com/store/world-figure-sport/item/wfs-s-nancy-blackwell-grieder-scholarship

Thank you for reading!

[jobsmalta-blog]

Job Malta - Service Assurance Manager - http://www.topjobsmalta.com/jobs/service-assurance-manager/

Service Assurance Manager

http://www.topjobsmalta.com/jobs/service-assurance-manager/

Team Description & Purpose of Role Based at one of two operations centres, this team of service professionals are responsible for all attributes of the service assurance function across the complete portfolio of company’s Products and Services.

The service assurance team is principally responsible for ensuring that all standard operational process and procedures are adhered to in order to meet external SLA’s, achieve defined KPIs and ultimately deliver a high level of customer service satisfaction.

A comprehensive understanding and experience of the following ITIL processes are pre-requisites for this role: Incident management Request fulfilment Problem management Service management A key function of the Service Assurance team is to coordinate and mentor the actions of associated and involved teams and companies (engineering, regional operations, supplier management and customer) in order to deliver optimum results for company’s customers.

Job Responsibilities Primary responsibility is to be the main customer advocate within the central operations environment and ensure best efforts are always applied and delivered across the organization to achieve optimum customer satisfaction during the lifecycle of the services delivered. Specifically, the Service Assurance Manager responsibilities refer to the following areas: General: Build excellent relationships with operational and non-operational counterparts within the company; 1st and 2nd line engineering teams, sales, service management, vendor and 3rd party management teams, local operation centers and service delivery. Work with Engineering, OLO Management and other teams to proactively/reactively identify problems from vendors and third party network provider that could impact the company network and services and manage these through the Problem Management program. Active participation in customer specific process development and documentation. To include customer or network specific sensitive programs. Incident Management: Act as the first point of escalation for the customer support organisation for all customer incidents. Drive incident resolution to service SLA and MTTR targets. Ensure internal/external communications are regularly maintained, are concise and accurately delivered. Own and manage the progress of customer Incidents/Problems within Operations, clearly recognizing the customer issue and driving to resolution through establishment and engagement of a “virtual support team” drawn from company’s Network, Hosting and Datacenter Operations teams. Manage daily internal meetings to track and drive Customer Incident handling. Provide detailed post incident / reason for outage reports (RFO) to customers with internal information and reports obtained from third party suppliers/vendors. Provide mentoring and guidance for Customer support staff on good customer service practice and Standards. Request fulfilment: Acts as an extension of the customer approval board for request type definition and SLA definition/adherence. Review and manage customer change requests that involve internal company departments and external partners. Will include request change scheduling and project management support. Change management: Aligned with the customer facing role for Incident Management and Request Fulfillment, being an escalation point of contact for Planned Works related concerns (request for additional information, Planned Works postponement or cancellation) Coordinate operational actions to enhance customer experience related to Planned Works. Problem Management: Conduct Post Incident Reviews and drive operational improvement from the results. Manage problem records resulting from reason for outage reports through to resolution Develop mechanisms for problem analysis from operational reporting data Work with nominated leads in each technical function to ensure problem analysis is carried out consistently. Problem Management Reporting: Deliver regular and ad-hoc customer reports to agreed standards and timescales. Deliver weekly and monthly reports on problem management across all functions Manage Known Error database and produce reporting form the KEDB. Ensure problem management is run across incident, change & maintenance programs. Manage general programs of operational improvement as assigned: Handle customer improvement programs as defined or requested by Regional heads, CSAM’s or operational management. Work closely with operation centers & planned works team to define common root cause that could be affecting multiple customers. Agree improvement & communication plans accordingly. Requirements 5+ years Customer Support/Service experience with at least 3 years in an Incident / Service Management role Experience of working with internationally based customers and service providers Technical understanding of key services such as Hosting, Security, Application, SDH, Wavelengths, TCP/IP, VPN, and Ethernet. In Depth understanding of the processes and practices of Customer Support and Service Level Management. (ITIL) Ability to understand and improve operational process & Procedure. Proven track record of working within standards based operations environments. Able to communicate in fluent English and at least one other European Language Demonstrated ability to matrix manage across the business to achieve maximum results for clients. Significant experience in managing escalated incidents through to resolution. Ability to operate within an engineering and Senior Management environment. Certification in ITIL to Foundation level or above would be a distinct advantage. Person Specification High level of customer focus. Proven achiever with a desire to progress. Team player but must be able to work on own initiative. Open mind to different approaches to service development and deployment. Able to work under pressure and to deadline. Highly solutions oriented and able to manage and motivate teams in a matrix environment, internally and externally. Able to influence both senior management and engineers. Able to resolve problems/incidents quickly, accurately and through to resolution / closure. Positive and approachable. Able to demonstrate a high level of trustworthiness. Able to technically understand the issue and guide others towards a faster resolution.

Team Description & Purpose of Role Based at one of two operations centres, this team of service professionals are responsible for all attributes of the service assurance function across the complete portfolio of company’s Products and Services.

The service assurance team is principally responsible for ensuring that all standard operational process and procedures are adhered to in order to meet external SLA’s, achieve defined KPIs and ultimately deliver a high level of customer service satisfaction.

A comprehensive understanding and experience of the following ITIL processes are pre-requisites for this role: Incident management Request fulfilment Problem management Service management A key function of the Service Assurance team is to coordinate and mentor the actions of associated and involved teams and companies (engineering, regional operations, supplier management and customer) in order to deliver optimum results for company’s customers.

Job Responsibilities Primary responsibility is to be the main customer advocate within the central operations environment and ensure best efforts are always applied and delivered across the organization to achieve optimum customer satisfaction during the lifecycle of the services delivered. Specifically, the Service Assurance Manager responsibilities refer to the following areas: General: Build excellent relationships with operational and non-operational counterparts within the company; 1st and 2nd line engineering teams, sales, service management, vendor and 3rd party management teams, local operation centers and service delivery. Work with Engineering, OLO Management and other teams to proactively/reactively identify problems from vendors and third party network provider that could impact the company network and services and manage these through the Problem Management program. Active participation in customer specific process development and documentation. To include customer or network specific sensitive programs. Incident Management: Act as the first point of escalation for the customer support organisation for all customer incidents. Drive incident resolution to service SLA and MTTR targets. Ensure internal/external communications are regularly maintained, are concise and accurately delivered. Own and manage the progress of customer Incidents/Problems within Operations, clearly recognizing the customer issue and driving to resolution through establishment and engagement of a “virtual support team” drawn from company’s Network, Hosting and Datacenter Operations teams. Manage daily internal meetings to track and drive Customer Incident handling. Provide detailed post incident / reason for outage reports (RFO) to customers with internal information and reports obtained from third party suppliers/vendors. Provide mentoring and guidance for Customer support staff on good customer service practice and Standards. Request fulfilment: Acts as an extension of the customer approval board for request type definition and SLA definition/adherence. Review and manage customer change requests that involve internal company departments and external partners. Will include request change scheduling and project management support. Change management: Aligned with the customer facing role for Incident Management and Request Fulfillment, being an escalation point of contact for Planned Works related concerns (request for additional information, Planned Works postponement or cancellation) Coordinate operational actions to enhance customer experience related to Planned Works. Problem Management: Conduct Post Incident Reviews and drive operational improvement from the results. Manage problem records resulting from reason for outage reports through to resolution Develop mechanisms for problem analysis from operational reporting data Work with nominated leads in each technical function to ensure problem analysis is carried out consistently. Problem Management Reporting: Deliver regular and ad-hoc customer reports to agreed standards and timescales. Deliver weekly and monthly reports on problem management across all functions Manage Known Error database and produce reporting form the KEDB. Ensure problem management is run across incident, change & maintenance programs. Manage general programs of operational improvement as assigned: Handle customer improvement programs as defined or requested by Regional heads, CSAM’s or operational management. Work closely with operation centers & planned works team to define common root cause that could be affecting multiple customers. Agree improvement & communication plans accordingly. Requirements 5+ years Customer Support/Service experience with at least 3 years in an Incident / Service Management role Experience of working with internationally based customers and service providers Technical understanding of key services such as Hosting, Security, Application, SDH, Wavelengths, TCP/IP, VPN, and Ethernet. In Depth understanding of the processes and practices of Customer Support and Service Level Management. (ITIL) Ability to understand and improve operational process & Procedure. Proven track record of working within standards based operations environments. Able to communicate in fluent English and at least one other European Language Demonstrated ability to matrix manage across the business to achieve maximum results for clients. Significant experience in managing escalated incidents through to resolution. Ability to operate within an engineering and Senior Management environment. Certification in ITIL to Foundation level or above would be a distinct advantage. Person Specification High level of customer focus. Proven achiever with a desire to progress. Team player but must be able to work on own initiative. Open mind to different approaches to service development and deployment. Able to work under pressure and to deadline. Highly solutions oriented and able to manage and motivate teams in a matrix environment, internally and externally. Able to influence both senior management and engineers. Able to resolve problems/incidents quickly, accurately and through to resolution / closure. Positive and approachable. Able to demonstrate a high level of trustworthiness. Able to technically understand the issue and guide others towards a faster resolution.