#R: You should seek medical help immediately

[seeds-of-life-daily]

rei and kaworu would probably wear glasses because their (inferred) albinism, or contacts, i don’t judge, but i feel like if they did wear contacts kaworu would forget to remove them and have like a collection of contacts behind his eye giving him super sight (that is how that works, trust me)

Day 53 K: Wait.. do you have to take them out before going to sleep? Why are you making that face..?

[sophieinwonderland]

Have I mentioned the "Sophie is dangerous" document's weird attempts at trying to get people to associate me with r/systemscringe?

Sophie first refers to r/systemscringe as a hate group, interestingly enough only after getting banned in Nov. 2022.

Yes, I suppose it's really "interesting" that, while trying to make comments supporting the existence of endogenic systems in r/systemscringe and change minds there with sources, I was avoiding using language that would be too inflammatory towards them because I knew I was on thin ice as it was and didn't want to rock the boat too much

I also, if I remember correctly, had an unspoken policy of censoring their Reddit usernames in my screenshots of them back then. Something which, if you notice, I no longer do. And I believe I stopped immediately after that banning.

Since my ban, there was no longer any tactical advantage in playing nice with the hate group as I lost my avenue to be able to communicate and change their minds.

The phrasing here though almost seems to imply that my move to call them a hate group was retaliation for my ban or worse, suggests that I didn't see them as a hate group before that. Both of which are off the mark.

Although yes, I did consciously change tactics with how I approached r/systemscringe after my banning. Just like I later changed tactics with sysmeds in general when I realized that presenting scientific evidence wouldn't convince them, and I shifted my goals away from conversion of system medicalists and more towards stigmatization of their ideology.

With known and prominent anti-endo blogger, and basically Sophie’s archnemesis from day 1, Mod Dude of @/sysmedsaresexist (also @/justanothersyscourse) no longer identifying as anti-endo, and providing medical peer-reviewed research, studies and journals, as well as personal convos with well known and prominent DID doctors, showing that endogenic plurality is a possibility on their platform, along with the Stanford Tulpa Study being brought to the spotlight of SysCourse due to a Reddit AMA, there’s been certain anti-endo groups hurling accusations such as the science is fake, the doctor’s are illegitimate, the studies aren’t legitimate, the doctors have an agenda, or just refusing to engage in the scientific literature at all in favor of remaining in ignorance. Sophie has really clung to this psychiatric validation from her time in r/systemscringe, which has sparked a conversation between anti-psych and psych-critical endos and Sohpie, who is really pushing endogenic validity via scientific research.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????

I've been fascinated with the psychology of systems since as long as I've been self-aware. I think I was actually fascinated with the psychology of imaginary friends before I was even self-aware.

I am a firm believer that psychological research into endogenic systems will be what brings the largest boon in plural acceptance in liberal circles if we can get the messaging across.

Some people disagree and don't think it's worthwhile to rely on academic evidence and support.

Some people fear that tying ourselves too closely to the psych community will give psychiatrists more power and enable abuse. Personally, I think having a positive relationship with psychiatrists will encourage more plural-informed care that will be better for all systems seeking treatment, while studies also will provide us evidence that will help us gain support from people who do put trust into psychiatry.

Whether you agree or disagree with this though, you should know that this opinion was formed long before I started trying to correct r/systemscringe.

There's no relationship between the two!

This is such a bizarre point of attack!

[abotlipfiller]

Enhance Your Smile: The Art of Lip Fillers in Santa Barbara

Introduction

Santa Barbara, known for its stunning beaches and picturesque landscapes, is also a hub for beauty and wellness. When it comes to enhancing your natural beauty, one treatment that's gained popularity is lip filler injections. Lip filler santa barbara are the go-to option for many seeking plumper, more defined lips. In this blog post, we'll explore the world of lip fillers, why Santa Barbara is the ideal place for this treatment, and what to expect from the procedure.

Why Lip Fillers in Santa Barbara?

Santa Barbara has earned a reputation as a beauty destination for a variety of reasons, making it the perfect location for lip filler treatments.

Expertise: The city boasts a plethora of highly skilled and experienced cosmetic professionals. Santa Barbara's practitioners are often at the forefront of the industry, ensuring that you receive top-notch care and results.

Natural Aesthetics: Santa Barbara is known for its commitment to enhancing natural beauty. Lip filler treatments here are geared toward creating a subtle, harmonious look rather than an exaggerated or artificial appearance. This ensures that your lips look enhanced, yet still in sync with your facial features.

State-of-the-Art Facilities: The city is home to numerous state-of-the-art clinics and medical centers, equipped with the latest technology and facilities. This ensures your lip filler procedure is safe and efficient.

Beautiful Surroundings: The serene beauty of Santa Barbara makes it a calming and rejuvenating place for your cosmetic treatments. The picturesque landscapes can help you relax and recover after your lip filler procedure.

The Art of Lip Fillers

Lip fillers, also known as dermal fillers, are cosmetic injections designed to enhance the volume and shape of your lips. They are a non-surgical solution for achieving fuller, plumper lips. The primary ingredient in lip fillers is hyaluronic acid, a naturally occurring substance in the body that helps retain moisture and adds volume to the lips.

The procedure is relatively simple, with minimal downtime, making it a popular choice for those seeking a quick and effective way to enhance their lips. It usually takes less than an hour, and you can go about your daily activities immediately after the treatment.

What to Expect

Before the Procedure:

Consultation: Your journey with lip fillers starts with a consultation with a qualified practitioner. They will assess your needs, discuss your goals, and formulate a treatment plan tailored to your unique facial structure.

Pre-Treatment Instructions: Your practitioner will provide you with specific pre-treatment instructions, such as avoiding certain medications and alcohol, to ensure the best results.

During the Procedure:

Numbing Cream: To minimize discomfort, a numbing cream or local anesthetic is applied to the treatment area.

Injection: The filler is strategically injected into your lips to achieve the desired volume and shape. Your practitioner will use their expertise to ensure a natural and balanced look.

After the Procedure:

Immediate Results: You will notice the results almost immediately. However, there might be some initial swelling and bruising, which should subside within a few days.

Recovery: There is minimal downtime associated with lip filler treatments. You can resume your daily activities right after the procedure.

Duration: The results typically last from 6 to 12 months, depending on the type of filler used and individual factors.

Follow-Up: A follow-up appointment may be scheduled to assess the results and make any necessary adjustments.

Benefits of Lip Fillers

Enhanced Volume: Lip fillers provide a noticeable increase in lip volume, giving you fuller, more plump lips.

Definition: They can help define the lip borders, creating a more attractive and youthful appearance.

Rejuvenation: Lip fillers can reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles around the mouth, helping to rejuvenate your overall facial look.

Minimal Downtime: The non-surgical nature of lip fillers means you can return to your daily routine without significant disruption.

Natural Look: Santa Barbara's emphasis on a natural aesthetic ensures your results will enhance your beauty while preserving your unique features.

Conclusion

Lip fillers in Santa Barbara offer a perfect blend of expertise, artistry, and natural beauty. If you're looking to enhance your lips, this picturesque coastal city is the ideal place to do so. The expert practitioners, state-of-the-art facilities, and a commitment to subtle, natural aesthetics make Santa Barbara a top destination for lip filler treatments. Embrace the art of lip fillers and unlock a more confident and beautiful you in this stunning Californian paradise.

[iluka-dental-centre]

Emergency Dentist: Why You Shouldn't Wait to Address Dental Emergencies

A sudden toothache, a chipped tooth, or a knocked-out molar – these dental issues can strike when you least expect them, turning your day upside down. Dental emergencies are unpredictable, and often painful, requiring immediate attention to avoid worsening conditions. This is where a Joondalup emergency dentist comes in.

In this blog, we’ll explore the importance of seeing an emergency dentist and why you should never wait to address your dental emergencies. We’ll also cover common dental issues that warrant urgent care and what to do in the interim.

Why Immediate Action Is Key

When dental emergencies arise, many people are tempted to push through the pain, hoping it will subside on its own. While some minor discomfort may seem tolerable, ignoring the problem can lead to more serious complications. Dental issues, unlike other health problems, often progress rapidly. For example, what starts as a mild toothache can quickly turn into an infection if left untreated.

Waiting too long to see an emergency dentist can result in:

Permanent tooth damage: A knocked-out tooth, if not treated immediately, may not be salvageable.

Increased pain and discomfort: Dental problems tend to worsen over time, leading to more severe and harder-to-manage pain.

More expensive treatments: Addressing an issue early can often prevent the need for costly procedures like root canals or extractions.

Common Dental Emergencies

Understanding what constitutes a cosmetic dentist Joondalup is essential for knowing when to seek immediate care. Here are some of the most common dental emergencies and why they require urgent attention:

Severe Toothache

Toothaches are often the first sign of a problem, and they should never be ignored, especially if the pain is severe. Tooth pain can be caused by anything from a cavity to an abscess, both of which can lead to infection if untreated. An emergency dentist will be able to diagnose the cause and provide relief quickly.

Broken or Chipped Tooth

Whether you’ve chipped a tooth while chewing on something hard or had a fall that cracked a molar, a broken tooth can cause extreme discomfort and make eating or speaking difficult. Immediate dental attention can prevent further damage to the tooth and surrounding tissues.

Knocked-Out Tooth

A knocked-out tooth requires immediate action if it’s going to be saved. If you can, try placing the tooth back into the socket and holding it there until you reach the dentist. If that’s not possible, keep the tooth in milk or saliva to help preserve it until you can get to an emergency dentist. Acting within an hour significantly increases the chances of saving the tooth.

Lost Dental Crown or Filling

While losing a crown or filling may not cause immediate pain, it leaves the underlying tooth vulnerable to infection. If ignored, it can lead to further decay or damage, ultimately resulting in the need for more intensive treatment. Seeing an emergency dentist Joondalup can help you restore the tooth before more extensive work is required.

Abscessed Tooth

A dental abscess is a serious infection that forms at the root of a tooth or in the gum. It can cause intense pain, swelling, and even fever. Left untreated, an abscess can spread the infection to other parts of the body, making it a medical emergency. Emergency dentists are trained to treat abscesses and other infections before they become more dangerous.

What to Do Before Seeing an Emergency Dentist

If you experience any of the above dental emergencies, it’s crucial to seek immediate cosmetic dentist Joondalup care. However, there are a few things you can do to minimise pain and prevent further damage before you get to the dentist:

For a toothache: Rinse your mouth with warm salt water to reduce bacteria and swelling. Over-the-counter pain relievers can also help manage discomfort.

For a knocked-out tooth: Handle the tooth by the crown (the top part) and avoid touching the root. If possible, try to place it back in the socket, or store it in milk until you can see the dentist.

For a broken tooth: Rinse your mouth with warm water to clean the area and apply a cold compress to reduce swelling.

For lost crowns or fillings: Use dental cement from a drugstore to temporarily cover the exposed area and protect the tooth.

The Value of an Emergency Dentist

When dental issues strike, knowing you have access to an emergency dentist can provide peace of mind. They are equipped to handle everything from tooth trauma to infections, helping you avoid further complications and long-term dental issues. Whether it's the middle of the night or a weekend, don’t hesitate to contact an emergency dentist when you’re in need.

Final Words

Remember, dental emergencies aren’t just about pain relief; they’re about protecting your oral health for the long term. With prompt care from an emergency dentist Joondalup, you can prevent small problems from becoming major concerns – and get back to smiling pain-free.

Source: Emergency Dentist: Why You Shouldn't Wait to Address Dental Emergencies

[birminghamlawattorney]

Hit and run accident attorney on what you should do

Did you suffer an injury in a car accident that the other driver fled? Before you could get contact information from the other driver involved in your vehicular accident, did they leave? If so, then you were hurt in a “hit and run” accident. These can be complex, challenging cases. By working with an experienced hit and run accident attorney in Los Angeles, you give yourself the best opportunity for the best possible outcome.

Belal Hamideh has helped many who, like you, were hurt in a hit and run. Not only is this a criminal offense, but you may also be entitled to compensation for your losses. Belal can work to make sure that you receive all of the compensation that you deserve.

If you believe that you may have been injured in an accident involving a driver who fled the scene, it’s worth it to schedule a free case evaluation with Belal. You can find out exactly what your case may be worth in addition to how an attorney with experience can guide you through the process.

What You Should Do After a Hit and Run The aftermath of a hit and run accident can be chaotic and overwhelming, but knowing what steps to take can help you navigate through the turmoil.

First, prioritize safety above all else. Always Move yourself and others away from further harm. Do so to the extent possible. The last thing you want to do:  put yourself at further risk. Assess injuries to yourself as well as others involved.

With a fleeing driver, there’s only so much you can do to collect evidence. Optimally, you may be able to get their license plate, the make and model of their vehicle, etc. However, if you can’t do that, this does not mean that all is lost. Far from it.

Speak to any witnesses who might have seen what happened. The more details you can provide, the better equipped law enforcement will be to assist you.

On that subject, contact law enforcement. Make sure they know what happened. The police can put together a report which will greatly benefit your case. Additionally, they may be able to find the fleeing driver. They have any number of resources they can utilize.

Promptly contacting emergency services and seeking medical attention is crucial, even if your injuries seem minor at first glance. Some injuries may not manifest symptoms immediately, and obtaining medical care promptly can prevent complications down the line.

Notify your insurance provider about the incident. When speaking to them, tell them what happened, but, be sure to do so without embellishment.

Following these initial steps, reach out to Belal. By doing all of the above, you give yourself the best chance of a positive outcome.

How to Protect Yourself From a Hit and Run As Best as Possible Hit and runs are more common than one might expect, often driven by fear of facing multiple charges such as DUI, speeding, lack of insurance, or involvement in unlawful activities like driving a stolen vehicle.

There’s nothing you did to cause the other person to hit you and flee. Despite being a cautious driver, accidents can happen. That said, there is one proactive step you can take before you’re in a hit and run to protect yourself.

To safeguard your finances in hit and run scenarios, consider carrying uninsured motorist insurance. With a significant percentage of California drivers uninsured, this coverage becomes crucial for mitigating potential financial burdens.

Hire an Attorney Who Can Help You to Recover the Most Compensation Following a California vehicular accident,  you have the right to pursue both economic and non-economic damages. Economic damages encompass tangible expenses such as medical bills, rehabilitation costs, and lost wages, while non-economic damages address intangible losses like pain, suffering, and diminished quality of life.

However, securing compensation in hit and run cases can be challenging, particularly if the responsible party is uninsured or underinsured.

California mandates minimum liability insurance requirements for drivers, but more fail to comply with these regulations than you might think. Belal and his team are dedicated to representing clients aggressively to ensure they receive the compensation they rightfully deserve.

Navigating the legal intricacies of hit and run accidents can be daunting, but you don’t have to face it alone. By understanding your rights, taking decisive action, and seeking legal counsel from an experienced attorney, you can pursue justice and reclaim control over your life. Remember, when it comes to hit and run accidents, knowledge is power, and advocating for your rights is essential.

Reach Out to a Hit and Run Accident Attorney in Los Angeles Sooner Vs. Later In this state, you have two years from the accident date to file a hit and run case. Prompt action is essential to expedite compensation. Engaging legal assistance early makes it that much likelier an attorney can build the best case on your behalf.

Belal accepts payment on contingency, ensuring that you only have to pay after he wins. Should Belal somehow not win, you won’t have to pay. This is unlikely, of course, as Belal wins 99% of the time.

To schedule a free case evaluation, call us or message us through our site.

[krishnakirti]

When to Worry: Signs and Symptoms of Abnormal Vaginal Bleeding

An abnormal amount of vaginal bleeding can be a cause for concern, and it is essential for women's health that they have a thorough grasp of the signs and symptoms. We prioritize providing comprehensive care for women's health at Atreum Hospital RR Nagar, where we also provide gynecological services of the highest quality. In this article, we will discuss the many indications and symptoms of irregular vaginal bleeding, as well as throw light on the reasons why it is vital to consult with the best gynecologist in RR Nagar at the finest gynecological hospital near you.

Abnormal vaginal bleeding is defined as follows:

Abnormal vaginal bleeding is a term that describes any irregularities in a woman's menstrual cycle, including severe bleeding, numerous periods, or bleeding between periods. A woman may experience abnormal vaginal bleeding,  Although certain variances are considered to be normal, recurrent irregularities may be an indication of gynecological issues that are more serious.

Symptoms and Signs That Are Common:

An abnormally heavy menstrual flow that necessitates many changes of sanitary items is a possible indicator of abnormal bleeding. If you are experiencing this, you should seek medical attention immediately.

Inconsistencies in the length of menstrual cycles or periods that are unpredictable can be symptoms of underlying disorders. Irregular menstrual cycles are described as having certain characteristics.

Any unexpected bleeding between regular menstrual cycles should be evaluated by a medical expert. Bleeding that occurs between periods is a cause for concern.

Changes in Menstrual Pain: Abnormal bleeding may be an indication if there are significant changes in the intensity or duration of menstrual cramps.

Causes of abnormal bleeding from the vaginal area:

Hormonal Imbalances Bleeding irregularities can be caused by fluctuations in hormones such as estrogen and progesterone, which can cause hormonal imbalances.

The presence of noncancerous growths in the uterus, known as uterine fibroids, might be a contributing factor in heavy monthly flow.

The polycystic ovary syndrome, often known as PCOS, is an endocrine condition that affects women of reproductive age and can result in irregular menstrual cycles.

It is possible for abnormal bleeding to occur as a consequence of infections or inflammations that are present in the pelvic region.

What Are the Benefits of Consulting with the Most Reputable Gynecologist in RR Nagar?

Expert Diagnosis: At Atreum Hospital RR Nagar, our highly trained gynecologists have extensive experience in diagnosing and treating gynecological issues. They are also able to provide precise assessments for irregular vaginal bleeding.

The Atreum Hospital, which is considered to be the top gynecological hospital in R R Nagar, is outfitted with cutting-edge facilities to provide our patients with the greatest possible level of medical treatment.

Individualized Treatment Plans: Our gynecologists develop individualized treatment plans that are tailored to the specific requirements of each patient, to address the underlying cause of irregular bleeding.

Providing Women with the Tools to Make Gynecological Health a Priority:

Regular Checkups: It is vital to visit the gynecologist regularly to receive preventative care and to discover gynecological issues before their occurrence.

Having an open conversation with the most qualified gynecologist in RR Nagar about any concerns you may have regarding your menstrual health helps to establish open communication and ensures that you receive complete care.

For the sake of women's overall health, it is essential to have a thorough understanding of the signs and symptoms of irregular vaginal bleeding. Our mission is to provide the highest quality gynecological treatment, to resolve any issues that women may have, and to promote the overall health and happiness of women. Atreum Hospital is home to the most qualified gynecologist in RR Nagar, so feel free to get in touch with them if you need expert advice and individualized medical attention. We are concerned about your well-being.

[riyab12]

Best Cardiologist in Pune | Cardiac Clinic in Pune - Dr. Rahul Sawant

Dr. Rahul Sawant is one of the Best Cardiologist in Pune. He has complete his, MBBS, MD (Med) Pune, MRCP London, CCT Cardiology Cambridge UK. He is Director of Hridaymitra Cardia Clinic Pune.

What is Cardiologist ? 

 A cardiologist is a medical doctor who specializes in diagnosing and treating diseases and conditions of the heart and blood vessels. Cardiologists can diagnose, treat, and manage heart conditions to prevent and reduce the risk of complications. They may perform tests, such as echocardiograms, electrocardiograms, cardiac catheterizations, and other tests to diagnose and treat heart problems. 

 What is stress testing? 

Stress testing is a diagnostic procedure used to evaluate how well the heart functions under stress. During the test, the patient will exercise on a stationary bike or treadmill while the cardiologist monitors heart rate, rhythm and oxygen levels. The test provides information about how the heart responds to physical exertion, which can help the cardiologist determine if there are any underlying cardiovascular problems. 

 What should I know about cholesterol? 

Cholesterol is a type of fat found in the blood. It is important for many bodily functions, such as producing hormones and maintaining cell membranes. However, having too much cholesterol can increase the risk of developing heart disease. It is important to have regular cholesterol tests to monitor levels and make lifestyle changes as needed. Eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and reducing stress can help to maintain healthy cholesterol levels. 

 What is an echocardiogram? 

 An echocardiogram is a type of ultrasound test that uses sound waves to produce images of the heart and surrounding structures. It is used to evaluate the size, structure, and function of the heart and can help diagnose various heart conditions. It is a safe and painless procedure that is often used to monitor the progress of treatment or to assess the risk of developing certain conditions.

 What is a stroke? 

 A stroke is a medical emergency that occurs when blood flow to the brain is blocked or reduced. This can cause brain cells to die and may lead to paralysis and other serious complications. Strokes can be caused by a blocked artery, a blood clot, or a ruptured blood vessel. Symptoms of a stroke include sudden numbness or weakness in the face, arm or leg, confusion, difficulty speaking or walking, and vision problems. It is important to seek medical attention immediately if you or someone you know is experiencing any of these symptoms.

What is nuclear cardiology? 

Nuclear cardiology is a specialized imaging technique used to evaluate heart function. It involves injecting a small amount of radioactive material into the bloodstream, which is then detected by a special camera. This allows the cardiologist to see how the heart is functioning and can be used to diagnose and assess the severity of a variety of heart conditions. 

 What is the difference between a cardiologist and an electrophysiologist? 

 A cardiologist is a medical doctor who specializes in diagnosing and treating diseases and conditions of the heart and blood vessels. An electrophysiologist is a cardiologist who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of heart rhythm disorders. An electrophysiologist is trained to diagnose and treat abnormal heart rhythms, such as arrhythmias, and can perform procedures such as catheter ablation to treat them. 

 What is cardiac rehab? 

Cardiac rehab is a program of exercise and lifestyle changes designed to help people with heart disease recover. It is supervised by a healthcare team consisting of cardiologists, nurses, physical therapists, dietitians, and other specialists. The program typically includes exercises to improve cardiovascular health, such as walking, jogging, swimming, and cycling. It also includes lifestyle changes such as quitting smoking, reducing stress, and eating a heart-healthy diet. Cardiac rehab can help reduce symptoms and improve overall quality of life. 

 What is congestive heart failure?

Congestive heart failure is a condition in which the heart is unable to pump enough blood to meet the body’s needs. It can be caused by a number of conditions, such as coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, or a heart attack. 

Symptoms of congestive heart failure include difficulty breathing, fatigue, and swelling of the feet and ankles. Treatment may include lifestyle changes, medications, and surgery. Precautions of cardiologist When visiting your cardiologist, it is important to take certain precautions to ensure your safety and well-being. 

You should always let your cardiologist know about any medications or supplements you are taking, as well as any allergies or medical conditions you may have. Additionally, be sure to follow any instructions given by your cardiologist before, during, and after your visit. Lastly, if you have any questions or concerns, be sure to ask your cardiologist for clarification.

[jackrrabbit]

it will come back [pt. 2] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 1] [Part 3]

A/N: Title from the Hozier song—“don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: yandere, violence (not directed toward reader), crying, Shiggy REALLY likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep, non-explicit sexual content. [In later parts: 18+, sex, other stuff]

He—Tomura—keeps visiting.

At first you think it’s because of the free medical care, and you wish you had the spine to tell him to suck it up and go see a professional. After a couple weeks turn into a couple months and his wounds fade into ragged purple scars, though, you start to think differently.

Within a short time Tomura has figured out your work schedule, and he does a decent job of not showing up after your long shifts. The unavoidable consequence of this is that he ends up monopolizing your precious days off, but you come to the realization about a month and a half in that you don’t actually mind. You like it. It’s like spending time with a friend.

Mostly you guys talk. It doesn’t seem like Tomura really has anyone to talk to the way the two of you do, but that’s probably just you projecting. It’s usually shallow stuff—TV shows you like, video games he plays, funny stories from patients you treated. Sometimes when you’re cooking for yourself, you make extra for him. (It happens a lot, actually, and at one point you bring up how much his appetite is costing you and the next time you see him he brings a bag of rice and makes you a porridge that crunches between your teeth when you try to eat it. You can’t finish yours, but he eats an entire bowl and insists that you’re being picky.)

Sometimes he sleeps over on the couch, but he’s always gone when you wake up.

The two of you skirt around the heavier stuff, and you know it’s intentional on his part. You have to resist the urge to ask him about being a villain—he’s all but confirmed it for you, and it’s human nature to be curious, isn’t it? In the same way you can’t help looking at a car crash, you want to poke and prod and find out what it is, exactly, that Tomura does for a living. That part of his life is suspiciously absent from your discussions—if you didn’t know better, you’d think he spends all of his time sleeping and playing games and breaking into your place.

On the other hand, you don’t want to know. Plausible deniability. You can accept criminality in the abstract, but you’ve treated too many victims of the bullshit hero–villain battle to be comfortable really knowing why Tomura avoids public places.

So you don’t ask about it, and Tomura doesn’t tell, and you don’t look up his name. And it’s easy. It’s nice. You’d forgotten what it’s like to come back to a home that isn’t empty.

And then one day when you get off a few hours early from your shift, you stop by a convenience store to pick up some snacks for yourself (hey, you’ve been working hard, you’re entitled to binge a little on foods that you’re afraid to look at the fat content for), and you think, Hm, I wonder if Tomura wants some.

[You: 7:49 PM] > Are you coming over today? [T: 7:49 PM] > Yeah why [You: 7:51 PM] > Getting snacks > Want some? [T: 7:51 PM] > No

[T: 8:12 PM] > When r u coming back to ur place

[T: 8:58 PM] > Hey where are you

[T: 9:39 PM] > (Y/N)?

There’s a man with a gun in the convenience store.

It takes you a second to process at first. You’re standing in the snack food aisle seeking out Oreos and debating the merits of Double Stuf vs. Mega when you catch the mumbled demand and the metallic clicking noise you’ve only ever heard in movies before. It’s a gun—you know that, but your mind dismisses it because it’s ridiculous. Guns are rare in hero society. People don’t go around robbing bodegas at gunpoint anymore.

(You should know better. You work in a goddamn ER. But you compartmentalize, and the crimes you see written across your patients’ bodies stay out of the realm of your personal life because you need them to.)

It’s only when you see the muzzle of a hunting rifle pushed up to the cashier’s sweaty neck that you really understand what’s happening.

You drop to the ground immediately, looking toward the exit but it’s shut and there’s some kind of metal…thing holding the door closed. The cashier mumbles a denial and you can hear him fumble around with the cash drawer for what feels like ages.

It’s real. This is real. You’re in the middle of a robbery. Where are the heroes? Why isn’t anyone doing anything?

God, you’re a hypocrite, cowering behind the aisle divider and waiting for someone to step up while the robber’s demands get increasingly louder and more frantic. He wants money, and the cashier (who, you remember, is a man in his sixties with hands that shake with Parkinson’s when he holds out your receipt) isn’t being fast enough.

“That’s it? There’s no more? Are you fucking kidding me, there’s gotta be a safe or something—“

“No! No, p-please, I’m sorry, this is all I have!”

You cringe, crushing your eyes closed as if that will make it go away. You’re surprised you can hear at all over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

“Don’t fuck with me old man, I know there’s more! Show me the safe or I’ll blow your goddamn brains out!”

No! You have to do something. You can’t just sit here. You’ve heard plenty of death threats from your patients (not to mention that one from Tomura), and you know the difference between a bluff and a serious warning. Maybe you can catch the robber off guard, try to pull the gun away? You stand up quickly, hoping against hope that you won’t regret this, but in a split second you see that the cashier has the same idea and he’s trying to pull the rifle out of the robber’s hand and—

BANG.

Something warm and wet splatters across your face.

///

Tomura is angry when you get back to the apartment. As soon as he hears your key in the lock he rises from your couch so he can grab your collar with three fingers, jerking your head up to force you to look at him. “Where have you been? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting—“

But he cuts short in the middle of his sentence. Maybe because he sees the look on your face. Or maybe he just notices the traces of blood you haven’t been able to wipe off.

“What happened,” Tomura says. It’s not a question. He adjusts his grip slightly so it’s not quite as punishing, but you hold still anyway.

You have to force your mouth open in order to speak, but when your voice comes out it’s more steady than you thought it would be. “It’s not my blood. There was a robbery at the store. The cashier got shot.”

“Oh.” He releases you and frowns. “That’s it?”

“Fuck you.” You push past him into the kitchen to get yourself a drink with trembling hands. Pantry’s out of shōchū, whiskey will just make you sicker—ahh, there it is. Baijiu. The glug glug glug of the liquor into the glass does nothing to put your nerves at ease, but you pour yourself a double anyway.

“Wait—wait.” Tomura’s hands twitch and rub over his arms like he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you. “Calm down. Why are you so upset? Don’t you see this stuff every day?”

You do. You’re an ER nurse. There’s no injury you haven’t seen. But it’s not about the blood. “I...I knew him. The cashier. He was nice. He had a grandkid on the way. I—“ You bite your lip and down the baijiu in one gulp. It burns.

Tomura clearly doesn’t know how to comfort you; probably doesn’t even really know why you need to be comforted. What does it mean that death is so meaningless to him? you wonder. But you need someone to listen to you, clueless or not, and Tomura will have to do.

The baijiu is still bitter and hot down your throat when you speak again. “You know something? Know what they asked me when the heroes finally showed up and pulled us out of there, me and the corpse?”

“…What?” Tomura asks warily.

“They stuck a camera in my face and asked me if there was anything I wanted to say to the hero who saved me. Any words of gratitude I wanted to share,” you spit. Now it’s your turn to feel your hands making fists at your sides. Your fingernails scratch into your palms like the pain can be an outlet for the sudden overwhelming fury spilling over you. “They didn’t save him. They were too late.”

Tomura’s eyes widen, and through your curtain of anger you can tell he’s looking at you in a way he’s never looked at you before. It’s unlike him to even look directly at you, and when he does it’s usually in disinterest or half-sincere irritation. This, though…this is different. He’s watching you like a believer watches a prophet. You can tell—or at least some deep, ugly part of you that you hope is wrong can tell—that he’s trying not to smile.

“I hate this,” you say, and the first tear drips out of your eye and runs down your cheek. It’s awful. You don’t want to cry in front of Tomura. You don’t want to show him how weak you are. But before you can wipe it away, Tomura’s hand comes up and does it for you, smearing the tear over your cheek in a gesture that—for him—is oddly tender.

Then he hugs you.

It’s stiff and awkward, like he’s forgotten how to do it, but the intention is clear. His arms fold around your back, pulling you into his chest while his chin makes its way to rest on your shoulder. He’s leaning into you so deeply that your spine is arched back, and you stagger away from him only for him to step closer again to make up the distance.

“It’s not fair, hm,” he murmurs into your hair. His tone is the closest thing to sympathy you’ve ever heard from him, but there’s an undercurrent of excitement you can’t ignore. “They’re always too late, aren’t they? The heroes… And everyone will watch that video of you thanking the heroes, and they’ll think they’re safe too. They’ll keep going about their lives and think that nothing bad can happen to them because a hero will always be around to save them…but you and I know that’s a lie.”

It takes you a second to recognize the emotion that’s raising goosebumps over your arms while Tomura rubs circles into your back, but when it clicks you shiver because it’s fear. You’ve never really been afraid of Tomura before, even when you should’ve been. Does he realize he’s backing you up with how forcefully he’s pushing himself into you? The backs of your knees hit the arm of your couch and you topple onto it with Tomura following.

He holds himself above you on his hands, legs tangled with yours. His eyes are wild and he’s not even trying to suppress his grin now. You’re trapped lying on your back under him—pinned like a butterfly under glass.

“Get off of me,” you say as calmly as you can.

“It’s all a lie, all of it…” A hand comes up and strokes your cheek, rubbing with two fingers at a stray fleck of blood on your neck. “I’m sorry it had to be like this, but I’m so glad you understand…”

“Let me up now, Tomura.”

He holds still for a long moment—waiting, thinking, considering—and then sits up, still straddling you but loosely enough that you can scramble back away from him on the couch. Your heart is racing, but you try to slow your breaths so he doesn’t pick up on how scared you are.

“Don’t freak out. You’re no fun,” Tomura says, and you exhale a sigh of relief at how normal he sounds. You never thought you’d be so happy about him looking at you like you’re nothing.

“I think you should go,” you say carefully.

He rocks back on his heels and runs a hand through his hair. “Are you mad? I thought I could stay here tonight, like usual. Since I waited for so long.”

“I’m not mad. I just…want to be alone.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone tonight. Not after what you’ve been through.”

Oh, now you care. “Fine. Okay? Fine. You can sleep on the couch.” You’re too tired to argue any more, and you’ve never really been good at convincing Tomura to do anything he doesn’t want to. It’s a miracle he listened to you when you told him to get off you. Considering how often he breaks into your apartment, it’s not like you could keep him out anyway.

So he stays the night. He doesn’t bother you when you take a shower and go to bed, he just lies on the couch in his street clothes. When you wake up in the morning he’s disappeared like he always does, and for the first time since you met him you’re truly relieved that he’s gone.

///

You always thought it would take some level of courage you don’t possess to actually bite the bullet and look Tomura up. To do so would mean saying goodbye to whatever strange relationship the two of you have built over the months, and you’re just not brave enough to risk it.

Turns out it’s not courage that makes you type his name into the search bar. It’s cowardice. You’re lying in bed under the covers when you do it, and the blue-white screen of your laptop is the only light in the room. Your comforter is pulled up almost over your head like it’s a wall that can block out reality.

“tomura”, you enter into the search bar, but you don’t hit return. Instead, you look at the search suggestions.

> tomura shigaraki > tomura shigaraki league of villains > tomura shigaraki decay

Something about it sounds familiar. But you’re not ready. Still, after everything, you’d rather keep your eyes closed. You backspace and snap your laptop shut, and when you do your room is so dark that you think the emptiness might swallow you up.

///

[T: 5:52 PM] > Are u going to be at home tn

[T: 6:14 PM] > Hey check ur phone

[T: 6:42 PM] > Stop ignoring me > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N)

[T: 6:46 PM] 3 MISSED CALLS [You: 6:50 PM] > I’m at work [T: 6:50 PM] > Don’t lie > you finished an hour ago

[T: 7:13 PM] 1 MISSED CALL [T: 7:14 PM] > You said you werent mad [You: 7:15 PM] > I’m not [T: 7:15 PM] > Then stop being a brat > im coming over > ill bring takeout

You’re nervous about seeing him, but in the two weeks since he pushed you down on the couch you’ve found yourself…missing him. Like it or not, he’s made himself a fixture in your life. So when you get home you’re brimming with anticipation, wondering who you’ll get when you open the door—the normal Tomura you’ve come to like over the past few months, or the one from that night. The villain.

But it’s just him. Good old Tomura, laden with plastic bags and containers of greasy fast food for the two of you to gorge yourselves on. You tease him for being cheap and he argues that you’re just a snob and everything seems so normal that you can almost forget the look in his red eyes when he told you that you understood.

Almost.

///

You probably have no idea how good you look when you’re crying.

Of the couple thousand views on the news channel video of your “rescue” from the convenience store robber, at least a tenth are from Tomura. Eventually he just downloads the video onto his computer so he doesn’t have to read the inane comments that the other viewers leave on the webpage. It seems like everyone but him thinks you should feel lucky that you were saved by a hero before the robber could get to you, too.

As always, the public are a bunch of shit-soaked morons. Reading the comments makes him angry, so angry he’s tempted to look into a few of these brainless sheep and see how lucky they feel when they’ve caught the attention of a violent criminal. But that wouldn’t be productive, so he saves the video externally and leaves the news website alone. It’s for the best. Besides, seeing the “views” counter on the website tick up and up by the dozen every time he refreshes is just another reminder that other people are watching this; other people are seeing how delicate and vulnerable and pretty you are with tears spilling out of your eyes and the cashier’s blood sprayed over your clothing.

Thousands of useless fucking NPCs are looking at you just like Tomura is. They’re probably thinking about how sweet you look, just like he is. And they’re probably imagining all the ways they can take advantage of your fragile emotional state, just like him.

You’re too trusting for your own good. Tomura used to think it was a virtue, and it is, but only when it comes to him. Whenever he thinks about how your face is slapped over a dozen different news websites for the whole world to see, he has to dig his fingernails into his neck to keep calm. It’s better when he can just watch the video and pretend he’s the only one seeing it.

And it’s not like not watching the video is an option. Tomura can’t resist your crying face. There’s a point around the three minute mark where your voice breaks in the middle of your statement, and sometimes Tomura skips there in the video just so he can hear that pathetic little sob and replay it over and over and over. Maybe it’s sappy, but Tomura really does feel his heart skip a beat at the way your eyes and nose are rubbed red from your misery.

How fucked up is it that he gets off watching you cry?

Would you be angry if you knew? You probably would, but you put up with so much from him already. Maybe you’d be okay with it if he told you he really and truly tried to hold out. The first dozen times Tomura watched the video, he refused to touch himself no matter how tight his pants got while you choked out your stilted answers to the reporters’ questions, but at this point he barely has to click “play” on the video before he gets hard and takes matters into his own hands.

At the end of the day, it’s your fault. Everything about you is so erotic, from your shaky voice to your pouty, bitten-red lips. Isn’t it completely normal to be aroused while looking at the person you like? And Tomura likes you, he really likes you. He doesn’t have any pictures of you, and with the high definition of the news channel’s video he can see every perfect contour of your cheekbones, every pore in your skin, every glistening wet eyelash.

It’s not that Tomura doesn’t feel sympathy for how upset you are in the video. He does! Not even just sympathy, even—he’s empathetic. He knows exactly how it feels to be let down by the heroes. How dare they tell you you need to be grateful while you’re still trying to wipe brain matter off your shirt? Always too little, too late. It’s not fair.

But if he’s being honest? As miserable as you are, Tomura is happy that you were in the store when that robber came in and that you had to watch a man you knew get his brains blown out in front of you. You need a wake-up call to lose faith in hero society. If you have to suffer some emotional trauma in the process, that seems like a fair price to pay.

And the fact that Tomura gets to jerk off to it? It’s almost like destiny.

➠ [Part 3]

[firesongbard]

Unlikely Heroes

A scene from my Post-Control long fic. Read more on AO3

V E R N E R

Getting to medical was a good idea.

Even though Commander Shepard had stopped the war, Cerberus was still in the Citadel. There were firefights. There would be bullet wounds. There would be a lack of medi-gel.

Man, Medi-gel was such a wonderful thing. Imagine if each wound needed a different style of treatment, and each alien had their own antiseptic ointment, and each had to be prepped and sutured and wrapped differently—

That would be so inconvenient.

Conrad had a good team with him. Detective Chellick was stern but a seasoned officer. Jenna had learned a lot about guns from him and was great with an omni-tool. And Felicia Hannigan (if that was her real name) had the look of a super cool spy about her. He was sure she had at least one secret identity. She seemed to know more people than she let on, even if she screamed a little when the keepers dragged bodies through the service corridors.

In her defense, it was a little unsettling.

And Conrad? Conrad knew Commander Shepard. She had given him advice on so many occasions, and showed him all the things he had done wrong, so now he was ready to do things the right way. He would help with all the skills he had. And sure, his skills might not be guns or firefights or super-secret infiltration. But he had heart. He had courage. And he believed in Commander Shepard.

So, when no one could decide where to go after Cerberus flooded the presidium, Conrad knew Huerta Memorial was the right choice.

Jenna knew all the side tunnels. She had maps of the keeper pathways, and it let them move through the Citadel undetected. She and Chellick moved the last panel out of the way, and their tiny team of heroes at last entered the hospital. They had gathered about 50 refugees and safely escorted them, though there were many more that had taken their chances at the docking bay. Hopefully, Shepard would find them when she was finished with the Reapers.

Chellick almost immediately went to the nearest doctor. Smart thinking, talking to doctors. The detective would get lots of information there. But Conrad wanted to see who else had thought of going to the hospital for supplies. He wandered away from his strike team—oh man, that felt so cool! He was on a strike team!—and found a very well-dressed asari staring out the window.

He had an excellent command of asari languages. Most of his doctoral thesis had used the ancient matriarch works as primary sources, and he always jumped at a chance to practice his High Thessian accent.

“In starry skies between the clouds, adventure calls my name. But soon, I reach the apex and seek the ground again.” He settled next to her, looking out the window. He hoped she recognized the quote.

“It’s rare to find a human who reads Dilinaga’s works.” She didn’t smile so much as let the frown leave her face for a moment. “Do you know the meaning of the words, or do you speak sweet syllables on a gentle breeze as a ploy to curry favor?”

“Oh, I meant no offense! I only thought the view was appropriate. I have seen the stars and all their gifts and set foot on solid ground again, but now I know the wisdom of things close and afar and carry the burden of speaking to those who must experience it for themselves.” He hoped he had gotten the last part right. Matriarchal idioms were challenging to translate, and it might come across as rude if he’d flipped the words.

Oh, he really hoped he hadn’t told this nice asari that a crowd of people should sit on his face. You only make that mistake twice.

But the asari did not throw him across the room with her biotics, so he couldn’t have messed up that badly. Or she was just really, really nice.

“You… don’t know who I am, do you, human?”

“Conrad Verner!” He offered his hand to her in—a very human gesture. On no! What was the proper asari greeting again? It depended on age difference, but humans were short-lived so maybe adjusting for lifespan, carry the one—

“Tevos Araeus” she took his hand, familiar with the greeting. “Councilor Tevos.”

Councilor.

Oh.

Oh!

“My sincerest apologies. Your work must call to you, and I did not mean to intervene. I—” Conrad switched to letting the translator do the work for him. “I just thought you looked lonely and thought you could use a friend.”

Tevos smiled at him. “I could, indeed. You are perceptive.” She sighed. “You brought the refugees here? From the docks? That must have been a long walk without transit or elevators.”

“Yes! My strike team led this group here. We’re short on rations, though. We started hiding when the Citadel first moved, so it’s been a few days now.” His stomach grumbled to punctuate his sentence, and he felt heat rise to his face. “But I thought medicine was more important than food.”

“You are the only people to come through here that I’ve seen.” She turned away from the window to survey the refugees now flooding the waiting area. “Other than myself, the other councilors, and our escorts.”

“Are the other councilors here too? Are they safe?” Conrad had a sudden sinking feeling for why he had only met one councilor. They always traveled as a set.

“Valern is still in surgery. Sparatus is recovering. I suspect we will need to stay here until it is safe to move.”

“We can help.” He waved at Jenna, who came to join him. “We can do supply runs and get the word out to other refugees. We can send scouts to watch for Cerberus and keep you safe, Councilor Tevos.”

Jenna knew who he was standing next to, and she spoke in a hushed whisper to him, “You know the Councilor too?”

“I do now!” He flashed a smile that he hoped was charming and heroic. “And we’re going to be her guard until the rest of the councilors are all healed up.” He bobbed his head in a mild show of deference—adjusting for life expectancy that should be the right amount—and extracted himself gracefully from the conversation. “Thank you, Councilor. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should go.”

Conrad wasn’t a Spectre. He wasn’t a soldier. But he could still do some good.

So until Commander Shepard came back from fighting Reapers, he would protect the Council. He and his strike team of heroes.

[harryhandstan]

gotta get better

gif credit

This concept has been in my head for a while now and it took me like a month to write and edit and just get it all out! I had surgery two years ago today and it was one of the most emotional, stressful experiences of my life simply bc I’m just a big baby lol. This is just something to celebrate that day and the fact that I’m still so happy it’s all over! Fluffy af as usual cause that’s all I know how to write. :)

Thankful to @bfharry​ and @bopbopstyles​ for not only inspiring me with their amazing writing but pushing me towards finishing this and reaching (even going over) my personal 5k goal! I appreciate you both so much!!

I recently saw a post about tagging triggers properly so I’m gonna do it that way but if I do it wrong or it doesn’t work PLEASE let me know and I will fix it immediately (just want to be sure all my bases are covered)

// needles tw, pills tw (prescription), anxiety tw // (if I missed anything I should’ve tagged please please let me know!!) and I’m sure there are some medical inaccuracies bc that whole day is kind of a blur for me haha 

as always likes/rbs/comments are welcome but absolutely not necessary :) 

final word count: 7.1k

//

"Y'nervous, angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Bout to chew your finger off. I know there can't be much of a nail left."

Your hand drops back to your lap. You hadn't even realized you were doing it. A bad habit of the nervous child you thought you'd long forgotten. He offers his left hand and you accept it, thumb swiping over the cross painted across his skin. He knows it's one of your favorites and you're thankful for the comfort. You don't know how many times he'd teased you about how you would eventually rub it off one day and he'd have to get it redone.

"S'a routine surgery, I bet they do them all day. You're gonna be fine."

You'd been over all this a thousand times before. Harry had to ban you from looking up the procedure online at one point. You became obsessive with worry. What if you're still awake when they cut into you and you can't talk? What if you feel everything and can't tell anyone? What if you don't wake up? He had shot down every one of your horrifying theories.

"How much longer before they take me back?"

"Nurse said it would be about 10 minutes when we checked in. Shouldn't be too much longer. Want me to check the board again?"

Checking in had only consisted of a nurse taking your name and giving you your bracelet for the day with an ID number. The number would help Harry stay updated on where you were throughout the whole process. The "board" was simply a tv mounted to the wall that frequently cycled through each patient's last name and ID number.

"No, no," You cling to his sleeve like a desperate child, "Don't leave again. She said they wouldn't update anything until I went back anyway."

Harry had left you only briefly when you first arrived. Hands in his pockets, wandering around like a lost child around the big, open expanse of the waiting room. He stayed where you could see him and the whole time you had anxiously chewed your bottom lip until he returned. You hated it, but you knew he was just as nervous as you. So you let him have that moment. To check his surroundings and release some of the nerves so he could come back to you, calm and cool as always.

When the nurse does call your name, you almost jump out of your skin. You freeze, unable to move. Harry stands and flashes the nurse a quick smile before turning back to you and offering his hand.

You shake your head, "I can't do this, H. I feel like I'm gonna throw up if I move."

"You're not, promise. Remember those breathing exercises we practiced? Do those. C'mon..deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out. Do it while we walk."

Slow deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out.

You remember how silly you felt the first time you did it. How it made you giggle at first. This is never going to work. But eventually it did. Anytime you got upset or started to overthink about this day, Harry made you stop whatever you were doing and sit down. Breathe.

It was a little difficult to do while walking. Your body wanted to pause your steps when your breath paused, but Harry tugged you along, you almost hiding behind him until you made it through a set of heavy wooden doors to a small space with a hospital bed and a curtain drawn in front of it.

//

The IV had had been your biggest dread, the fear overriding any logic that it was something you needed, instead of something the nurses decided to do simply to torture you.

Your face twists into a wince of pain when the needle goes into your vein, Harry standing over you, his face a mirror of your own as you squeeze his hand. When the nurse pulls away with a triumphant "all done!" you flash a look of surprise between your arm and Harry.

"Not that bad, eh? Think ya overreacted a bit about how bad that was gonna be?" He raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to shoot him a nasty look for teasing you.

"Maybe a little." You pinch your index finger and thumb together, indicating a minimal amount.

"Tiny bit more, babe," Another nurse appears from around the curtain and he laughs before speaking to her, "it's all she's worried about all morning."

"Honestly that's everyone's least favorite part. The rest of the day should be aces if you can handle that!"

Harry settles himself into a chair while the nurse goes through a myriad of questions. Any other surgeries? Allergies to medications you know of? Do you smoke? Drink?

Harry snorts when you say no to drinking, but quickly clasps his hand over his mouth when the nurse's head snaps to look between you and him.

"The occasional drink is fine, no worries. Nothing this morning though, right?"

"No, ma'am."

Your eyes meet his, a mischievous grin still plastered across his face. He mumbles a quick "sorry" while you try to pull your concentration back towards the nurse and the remainder of her questions.

"Alright, time for the good stuff," she passes you a small clear cup with two white pills, "First one is just something to keep you calm and relaxed, second one is to prevent any pain after the procedure. They'll give you something to make you sleepy when you get to the OR, but this might make you a bit loopy for now."

"This should be fun." Harry claps his hand in front of him, rubbing them together quickly. He leans forward in his chair, as if ready for a show.

"Yeah? Is she a happy drunk?"

Harry had only ever experienced you high on any sort of prescription medication once, almost a year ago when you went on a girl's trip with your best friend and twisted your ankle in an attempt to make it back to her car after dinner out one night. You calling him from an unknown ER in the middle of the night had terrified him enough to start packing a bag to fly to you before your best friend could grab your phone and assure him you were fine and she would put you on a plane home to him in two days as planned. He had teased you endlessly when he picked you up from the airport and for the next few days afterwards as you limped around on a bruised, ACE bandage wrapped foot.

But after too many wine drunk nights to count, he had enough stories to humiliate you with and the thought of any one of them being told now had you sinking further into the hospital bed.

"You could say that. Last time she.." His voice trails off at the sight of your eyes, wide as saucers, begging him to stop.

The nurse grins, her face kind and sympathetic to your silent cry for help.

"We're a little behind schedule this morning so it may be about 20 minutes before they come transport you, okay?" You nod, the effects of the sedative already working its way through your system, "Keep an eye on her? Make sure she behaves?"

"Yeah, I got her. We'll be fine, thank you so much." He's closer now, standing next to you again, a hand sliding up your arm to settle on your shoulder. You manage a thumbs up and a sleepy "thank you" as an affirmation that you appreciate all she's done for you.

"You're more than welcome. You'll have a different set of nurses in recovery but if you need anything until they come get you, just let me know, alright?"

"We will, thanks." His thumb ghosts across the front of your collarbone, the lightest of touches to soothe you, his eyes still focused on the nurse.

"Good luck! You're gonna do just fine, I promise."

The second she's around the curtain, Harry nudges you lightly, "Scoot."

"Huh? What do you mean..Harry, there's not enough room for you in this bed." Your head feels too light to deal with his nonsense now.

"Yeah there is if you scoot. C'mon. Hurry before we get caught. M’supposed to be keeping an eye on you, remember? Gotta make sure you don't fall outta the bed."

He's already wedged himself next to you, trying to make his tall frame fit into the limited space.

You move over as much as you can, the rail of the bed poking into your hip.

He tucks one arm behind your head, the other one thrown behind his own as a cushion.

"You feel more relaxed now, lovie?"

You scrunch down in the bed, just enough that you can tuck your head under his other arm, "A little. I don't feel sleepy enough though," Your eyes dart up, seeking the comfort of his face, "I'm scared, H."

"I know you are, baby," the hand behind your head shifts to cup around your arm, pulling you closer, "Just pretend you're home with me and we're taking a nice little nap together, yeah?"

"But you won't be there with me, not really."

"I'll be there when you wake up though. First thing you'll see when you open your eyes, promise." He runs a finger along the curve of your nose, "Close your eyes. Try to sleep, hmm?"

You shake your head, turning towards him to hide your face in his side, inhaling his scent.

"Want me to turn the light off? Would that help?"

"No," You toss the arm that isn't trapped between you two over him, holding tightly to his shirt, "Stay."

"Alright, then. We'll just wait," He tilts his head to rest closer to yours, "Have you thought about what you want to eat after?"

"Not really. M'too nervous to think about food."

"We'll think of something good. Whatever you want."

"You're gonna get us in trouble, better scoot back to your corner like a good boy." Your words come out unintentionally slurred and you weakly push yourself up and away from him as he slides off. He doesn't sit though, just stands near you, an anxious look flashing across his features.

"Hey, c'mere. Gonna be fine, routine surgery, remember?" You stretch your arms out to him, a plea to be near his warmth again.

He sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. You tug lightly at the sleeve of his cardigan, a feeble attempt to pull him closer. He indulges you, his brow still creased with distress.

"Know ya gonna be fine, just hate you have to go through it at all. Wish I could take it from you without all this." He gestures to the IV he knows you despise so much.  

"You have helped take it from me. All the sleepless nights you spent up with me, holding my hair back when I got sick. All the days after when I was too drained to get out of bed. You were there for as much of it as you could be. And you pushed me to go see the surgeon in the first place. You've helped me more than you give yourself credit for."

His fingers intertwine in yours, the pad of his thumb soothing over the front of your hand.

"Make sure you keep my phone with you, my mom will probably call you every 30 minutes for updates." A yawn stretches across your face, "She has your number too, bullied me into giving it to her last week when I called to tell her about the surgery."

He nods, patting his pocket to make sure both phones are still nestled there together.

Another yawn threatens to escape and you muffle it this time, more content to fight sleep to stare at Harry; his hair a perfect mess of curls under the harsh brightness of the hospital lighting. His face is more relaxed now, his eyes still focused on your fingers tangled together. He catches you, your eyes glazed over, too heavy and threatening to close.

"Darling, please close your eyes. I can see how tired you are," His fingertips sweep delicately over your nose again, as if he was lulling a baby to sleep, "You don't have to stay awake for me."

"Closing my eyes for just a second, alright? Not because you told me to though. I want to. Wake me up in 2 hours, don't wanna sleep too long."

Your eyes are already drifting closed, the last thing you hear is a chuckle; effortless, light as air, "I will, promise."

Soft kisses pressed across your face, "Sweet dreams, love."

//

His voice is the first you hear as you wake up in the dimly lit recovery room. Well, really it was more like a big cubicle, another space with a curtain drawn in front of it. Even with the floaty, dreamy feeling flowing through your system, you can still detect the worry in his voice.

"Harry?" It takes your mind a minute to catch up and process where you are and what had happened.

Oh yeah. Surgery day. No more annoying gallbladder. No more sleepless nights. Freedom to eat what you want and not be haunted by nausea and sickness from what you ate.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Suddenly a nurse in bright blue scrubs is there, way too animated and loud at the moment, "Pain scale 1-10?"

"I don't have any pain. Zero." You're aware of how high you sound and a giggle escapes through the haze. That earns you a smile from Harry, one that lights up his whole face and makes his dimples shine through.

"Awesome! Well then as soon as you're good and awake we're gonna get this IV out and go over some paperwork for both of you to sign. I want you to drink something for me too, so what would you like?"

You request a ginger ale and as soon as the nurse leaves to retrieve it for you, Harry scoots the chair he's sitting in as close to the bed as possible.

"How long was I out?"

"Couple of hours," He absentmindedly fixes your hair, looping various curls back around to their respective places, "Took a little longer than expected, you had a small infection so they had to make sure it hadn't spread."

"How much longer?"

"Long enough you had us all slightly worried." His hand trails down your cheek to cup your chin gently, urging you to look at him, "You sure you're not in pain? Now's not the time to do that stubbornly brave thing you do where you pretend nothing's wrong."

"I feel fine, really. Just a little tired, ready to go home."

He studies your face, trying to find any trace of dishonesty. When he's satisfied you're being truthful, he stands and extracts your phone from his pocket.

"Already talked to ya mum, but your co-workers were all texting you, asking how you were. Figured you'd want to handle that yourself, didn't know how much detail you would want to give them."

"Did you give my mother all the details? Infection and everything?"

"Um, no. I knew better than to do that. Promised her you would call when I got you settled at home."

"You promised or she demanded?"

"Okay..she politely asked that you call her when we get home."

"That sounds more like her." You roll your eyes, pushing yourself so you're sitting more upright in the bed.

"She just worries about you." He adjusts the pillow behind you, fluffing and tucking it where you direct it, against your lower back.

"I know. I'll FaceTime her when we get home to prove I'm alive."

"It's been a while since we've seen them, maybe we should plan a visit?" He plops himself back in the chair, leaning back as far as he can go; hands behind his head, eyes closed. You'd both gotten very little sleep the night before, you were too anxious and he was too gracious to let you suffer alone.

"Oh please, I'm lucky I even got time off to do this. My boss would never allow another break so soon."

"Maybe for the holidays?"

"Maybe..but only if you can go with me, you know they love you more than me by now anyway."

"They do not," He peeks one eye open at you, "They love us both equally."

You shoot a quick text to your co-workers, using the group chat between the few of you to make it easier.

I'm out! Feeling okay for now but that might change later lol

The nurse is back, apologizing for taking so long, "We've been so behind all day, it's crazy busy. I had to wait for your doctor to sign off on your release." She hands you a can of ginger ale, white bendy straw already poised and ready for you.

"Just need you to sign here," She holds a clipboard and a pen out to you and you balance the can dangerously in one hand while you scribble something that resembles your signature. Close enough. She gestures for you to pass the clipboard to Harry, "His signature goes under yours, just says he's responsible for you for the next few hours until everything wears off."

"This means I'm the boss, right?" He leans over to grab the board, a wink thrown in your direction. He's enjoying himself way too much at the thought of being in control of you for the next few hours. Smug son of a bitch.

She takes the clipboard back and pulls off a yellow sheet of paper, "This is just your copy of what you signed, and also has post op instructions for your bandages. Your prescription's been sent to the pharmacy, and there's a brief summary of pain management information on the bottom there just in case you need it."

"Thank you." You transfer it right to Harry's waiting hand, knowing he'll be the one surveying every word, making sure you follow everything to the letter.

"I know you mentioned earlier having a little bit of a drive home, so probably once you get her some food and pick up her prescriptions, it'll be time for another round of meds. Okay?" She turns to you again, "I know it sounds silly, but one of the most important things after this particular surgery is lots of walking. Otherwise you'll be miserable. Rest for a while when you get home, then get up every 10 minutes or so until bedtime. Don't let her skip that part, alright? Very important."

"I heard you weren't a big fan of this thing," She nods towards the IV in your right forearm, "So this'll probably be the best part of this whole process for you. We'll get this out and then you can get changed and we'll get someone to wheel you down and out of here, alright? Don't look and you won't even know when it's gone."

"Hey, think about what you want to eat, huh? Your first freedom meal. Yay!" He slips his hand into your left, raising your connected hands victoriously. You didn't think it was possible for you to love him anymore until this moment. The way he could so easily erase your fear was one of his many gifts you adored him for, "What are we having, babe?"

You don't even hesitate before answering, "Pizza, from Milano's. It's my favorite, other than that one place in Italy you took me to. Please? Oh and one of their salads, with the little bread knots on the side!"

He glances at the nurse, awaiting a reprimand for your meal choice.

"As your nurse, I feel I should remind you that while you can have anything you feel like eating, we usually recommend something small and light at first. Broth or soup with some toast, maybe. The salad may be fine, but the pizza might be a little heavy. Taking it slow would be best. But everyone is different."

"So..just cheese then? Maybe some mushrooms?"

You let your head fall back against the pillow, a foggy haze settling over you, "Plain cheese, no mushrooms."

"Alright, sounds good. Why don't I go call it in and pull the car around? Meet you out front?" He leans closer, a quick peck to your cheek before pulling his hand loose from yours and turning to leave.

"Hey, wait," You attempt to tug at his wrist, but fail, your brain still set to slow-motion. He takes pity on you and returns to your side, "Let's eat there. It's in the mall so we can window shop after we eat."

"You sure? You still seem a bit tipsy, honey."

You don't feel tipsy. Just tired, and hungry. Very hungry. As if on cue, your stomach makes a remarkably loud noise; an objection at not being fed for the past 12 hours.

"Alright, alright, calm down. " You let out an embarrassed groan when you realize he's talking to your stomach, "We'll eat there."

He kisses you again, closer to your mouth, "Missed."

"I did, huh?" He chuckles, close enough to your face now your noses are almost touching, "Let's try again."

This time his lips meet yours and you know he missed on purpose the first time by how amused he looks when he pulls away.

"One more for luck?" You can't resist letting the back of your hand wander over his face, before resting the palm of your hand against his cheek.

"I think I can handle that," He smiles before landing another quick peck to your lips, "Be good for the nurse while I'm gone. I'll have the getaway car ready in 10, yeah?"

//

You're certain Harry would have fed you if you would have let him, right here in the mall food court in front of everyone. But you refuse, insisting even, on carrying your own tray to the table. He chuckles when you pull your phone out of your sweater pocket to take a picture of your food, quickly uploading it to Facebook.

He watches you closely as you take the first bite, even pulling his own phone out to sneak a photo of you when you temporarily close your eyes to appreciate the indulgence of being able to eat one of your favorite foods again; free from that anxious feeling of whether or not it would settle right with your body later. You open your eyes the very moment after he captured the image.

"Harry!"

"You just looked so happy! I couldn't help it. You know I'll never post it anyway. Snagged a few of you earlier in your little blue cap they made you wear too." He flips back through to show you. You try to snatch the phone away, but he's too quick to pull his hand back and stash his phone in his pocket.

"When??"

"After you fell asleep, right before they came to take you back."

He takes a bite from his own generous slice of pizza in front of him before gesturing to your tray, "How is it?"

"Amazing. Even better than before, if possible."

His smile is bright, loving the satisfaction of seeing you actually enjoy food again.

Your plan to walk around the mall was cut short, you could barely make it through one store without yawning. You cling to Harry most of the way back to the car, his arm securely wrapped around you to keep you steady.

You doze off on the drive home, and when your eyes flutter open you find him opening the passenger door, offering a hand to help lift you out of the car and up the stairs into the house. Your foot stumbles on the first step, failing to make contact and you almost fall back.

"Easy," He giggles, an arm thrown behind your back to catch you before encouraging softly, "Try again."

When he's confident you're stable enough on your feet, he lets go to unlock the door.

You're greeted by a bouquet of flowers, a colorful arrangement of roses and lilies from Harry's band mates. You immediately recognize Sarah's handwriting on the card and make a mental note to shoot everyone a thank you text later. You don't know if it's the medication still in your system, the exhaustion of the day, or the overwhelming amount of love that makes you teary eyed.

Harry stands behind you as you admire the flowers and the card, arms curving around to hug you, careful of the large bandage on your upper abdomen and the two smaller steri-strips on your right side.

"How did they know pink roses were my favorite?"

"They love you, peach." He rests his chin on your shoulder, "Besides, you've only mentioned growing up with a pink rose bush in your Nanna's garden about a hundred times."

"I always loved it. Still do."

Your mind travels back to your earliest memories spent there; summers when you practically lived at the small house on the hill. Helping pick tomatoes and peppers from the garden, too warm afternoons spent with a book in your lap under the shade of a peach tree, your grandfather's corny jokes and loving smile. Your Nanna's too generous portions of food contributing to the few extra curves you still carried with you to this day.

You don't even notice the tears at first. They slip down your cheeks and land on his arm. Once you realize, you try to quickly wipe them away, but Harry sees.

"Hey..c'mon, I think your high's wearing off a bit, bub. Pajamas, meds, nap. Sound good?" He turns you to face him, using the sleeve of his shirt to brush away any tears that still linger at the corner of your eyes.

"What time is it?"

"Almost 3..why?"

"No nap. I'll never sleep tonight, and you know how grumpy I get when my sleep schedule is thrown off." Even with your declaration of not wanting a nap, you can't help but rub your eyes, a weak attempt to keep yourself awake. Any resolve Harry had to try to convince you to nap melts away. A smirk on his face, he knows you'll eventually crash later, most likely on his chest or in his arms. He's content to let you be stubborn for now.

"Okay, then. New plan. Pajamas, meds, movie. Better?"

"Better. You get everything ready and pick the movie while I change?"

"You don't wanna pick the movie?"

You wave him off, already shuffling towards the bedroom, "You're the boss today, remember?"

You take your time gathering what you need to get cozy for the rest of the day, selecting an oversized, well-worn tie dye t-shirt and leggings from your dresser. You even take a moment to dip into Harry's extensive sweatshirt collection, grabbing your favorite one. It's amazingly soft and still smells of him, a faint scent of his cologne and well..just Harry. You couldn't imagine anything more comforting.

In your pursuit to feel more lucid, you venture into the bathroom, taking a moment to wash your face. The cool water instantly refreshes you and pushes you closer to feeling like yourself again. Wanting your hair out of your face, you pluck a scrunchy from your shared collection of hair accessories. You quickly recognize that your arms still have that too heavy feeling of unconsciousness and after a few attempts to gather your curls into some sort of up-do, you give up and loop the accessory around your wrist to try again later.

Harry senses your frustration when you find him in the kitchen, two small green pill bottles sitting on the counter in front of him. He's already filled your favorite cup with ice water, and you gratefully take it and drink from it.

"What's wrong?" His brow creases with concern and you feel guilty for making him worry over something so silly.

"Nothing..just wanted my hair up out of my face but my arms wouldn't cooperate." You try to laugh it off to put him more at ease, "It's not a big deal."

You know it's only the weariness of the day still making you feel so emotional, clear-headed you would not be upset over something so small.

"Here. Let me try." He slides the scrunchy from your wrist and pulls you closer to him, moving behind you to gently work long fingers through your hair, gathering it all in a loose ponytail on top of your head before securing it around a few times with the scrunchy.

You let your shoulders drop with a deep sigh when he's done, it was such a simple thing, but it made you feel so much lighter. He spins you around to face him, a charming gleam of pride at his handiwork adorning his face, "Too tight?"

"No. Much better. Thank you, Harry. You take such good care of me always, but today..I don't know what I would've done without you. I made such a big fuss and probably made you miserable with all of my worrying." You're suddenly very aware that you are rambling, but when you catch a glimpse of his face, his smile is wide. So bright that the skin around his eyes is crinkling.

He leans towards you, lips stopping whatever words may have come next, arms wrapping around you to pull you closer in a soft, warm embrace. When he pulls away, his eyes bore right into yours, and your heart swells with more love than you could ever imagine having for one person. But he wasn't just any person. He was your person, your whole word staring back at you.

"I'm SO proud of you. You've been so strong today, always knew you had that strength in you, but seeing you take that leap of faith..doing something you knew you should despite your fear, that's all you, love. I can't take any credit for that. You've made me anything but miserable, trust me."

His face is still close enough to yours that you nudge forward, pressing your forehead to his, a silent appreciation of his affection.

"Any pain yet?" He pulls back, a thumb across your cheek, eyes still locked on yours.

"My head kind of hurts? And I still just feel kind of..drunk."

"You have always been a bit of a lightweight, babe. And a thief too, I see. S'that my sweatshirt?"

"Have not!" You swat playfully at his arm, "Maybe. Is that my hair clip in your hair?"

"Possibly." His eyes dart up to the swoop of curls on top of his head, a black plastic clip twisting it back and away from his face.

"Guess we're even then."

"S'pose we are." He tries to keep his eyes narrowed in a mock attempt of annoyance, but it quickly fades into laughter.

You decide against FaceTiming your family, hoping that hearing your voice will be enough. It seems to satisfy them at least for the rest of the day. You assure them that Harry is taking very good care of you and that everything went as smooth as could be expected.

He raises one eyebrow at you as you hang up, "As smooth as expected, huh? You aren't going to tell them the truth?"

"What's to tell? I had an infection and now it's gone. I'm fine, there's no sense in worrying them. We can give them the full story later."

He shrugs, fingers working to open one of the green pill bottles before passing one of the white pills to you, "For your headache, lovie. There's something here for nausea too if you need it. M'worried the pizza might've been too much. Maybe you should take one of these..just in case?"

"Harry, I promise I will tell you if I feel anything other than fine." Your hand runs from his shoulder down his bicep, squeezing gently, "Besides, I cannot take a whole one of those. If you think I'm a lightweight now..I'll sleep for the whole week if I take that."

He slips the bottle in his pocket, pulling you in to press a kiss to the top of your head, "We'll keep it close just in case, okay?"

"Sounds good," Your hand trails back up to his neck to work fingers through his hair, "Hey, thought we were watching a movie? What'd you pick?"

"Thought we could decide together. C'mon, let's get you comfy in bed."

"Ever the gentleman, always trying to get me in your bed."

"Hey! I am a perfect gentleman, thank you very much," He chuckles, a hand coming to rest on the small of your back, "Just thought you'd be more comfortable, you can prop up and stretch your feet out."

You let him tug you along for the second time today, thankful it's the luxury of your shared bed you get to settle into this time. He tucks you in softly, propping pillows behind your back and head.

"Comfy? Need anything else?"

"No, just need you to quit babying me so much and relax with me for a bit."

"Since when am I not allowed to baby you?"

You roll your eyes, "Never said you weren't allowed. Just want you to stop worrying so much, that's all."

"Good. Cause y'are my baby," No matter how many times you'd heard him say it before, it never failed to make you blush, "Do anything for you, y'know that, right?"

"I know," You look down at your hands, trying to slow your racing heart, "You never let me forget."

"Hey," He pokes your cheek, pulling your gaze back up to him, "I love you."

"I love you more, H."

He kisses your forehead, "Impossible. I love you most."

The reference to one of your favorite movies has you smiling at him, that dreamy feeling falling over you again, "Can we watch Tangled?"

"Sure, princess."

He sinks next to you, head propped up on your shoulder, navigating easily through Disney+ to find your requested movie.

Your eyes drift closed right about the time the lanterns are being released in the sky, a moment that normally leaves your face wet with tears, the soft vibrations of Harry humming along the perfect lullaby to push you further into your dream.

//

He wakes you later in the evening.

"Dinner's on the table if you want to join me."

"Time's it?" Your voice is still heavy with sleep.

"7. You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you, thought your body could use the extra sleep today."

"Yeah. It was nice, thank you." You stretch your arms forward, reaching for his hands to help pull you up.

"How do you feel?"

"A little sore. More sober, for sure."

Dinner is simple; a bowl of plain broth, salad, and toast. Exactly what the nurse suggested earlier. There's even a warm mug of tea waiting for you.

"With honey for my honey," He's so proud of his cheesy expression of love you cannot help but smile.

You look at him curiously when he sits next to you, the same boring meal set out for himself.

"Harry..you can eat what you want, babe. Seriously you've done enough today, more than enough to be supportive. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if you made yourself something different."

"Nah. S'fine. We're in this together, yeah?"

You raise your eyebrows at him playfully, "Did you have an organ snatched from your body today?"

"No, I didn't." He laughs, "I just meant food wise, love. It's vegetable broth, by the way, hope that's alright."

"It's perfect."

You nudge him lightly, an elbow to his side, shifting closer to ask for a kiss. He meets you the rest of the way, lips planted firmly on yours. When you don't pull away, he quickly adds another.

After dinner is done and you have another round of meds, the two of you end up in an awkward ball of cuddles on the couch. Harry flips through the channels on the tv before finding a show you both agree on.

But you're too restless, unable to find a position comfortable enough for you. You shift a few times, finally giving up and letting out a frustrated groan before tossing the blanket off the both of you and springing up and off the couch.

Harry doesn't panic, just grabs your hand before you can get too far away or lose your balance, keeping his voice low when he asks, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing hurts. I just can't get comfortable, and I don't feel right."

"What doesn't feel right, angel? Explain."

"I don't feel like myself. I don't know how to explain it. Just feel off."

He sees you're on the verge of tears and ascends from his spot on the couch, arms quickly enveloping you before placing a finger under your chin to pull your face up to look at him.

"It's probably gonna take a day or so to adjust, baby. Yes it was a minor surgery but it was a major change to your body." He's bending now to look right into your eyes, searching them,  "How can we fix it tonight, hmm? What do you need?"

Tears are free flowing, falling on the front of your t-shirt and down to the floor.

"Take your time. Breathe." A large hand smoothing warm circles firmly across your back; a balm for your restless spirit.

You pause, deep breath in before slowly letting it out, "I think I just need to move around for a bit."

"Let's go for a walk, eh? A quick one and then back to bed. Your mind needs more rest. How's that sound?" He taps your forehead softly.

"Okay, yeah." You nod your head, an approval of his plan.

"Don't worry about it, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine."

You nod again, scared your voice will break if you try to speak. He knew that those words held a lot of weight for you, he'd repeated them often throughout this whole process and to hear them now was a reminder of how safe you were. That with him, you would always be safe and loved.

Being dark outside meant you gracelessly padding through the house, up and down the hallway a few times and back to the living room. Harry stays close, encouraging you along with little claps and kisses to motivate you. When your stomach starts to feel uneasy, he urges you once again to take something for nausea. You agree to take a half a pill, knowing it'll help you sleep.

Despite the nap you had earlier and only being awake for a couple of hours, it doesn't take much convincing for you to settle back into bed.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

He's already reclined next to you, book in hand, the soft light from the lamp illuminating one side of his face. You're smushed against him, drifting between that sweet space of almost asleep and wanting to stay awake to enjoy any spare moment you get with him. His hand working through your hair helps push you towards the former of the two.

"I'm sorry to be such a burden today," Your words are slurring together but you continue on, just needing to get your thoughts out before he can stop you, "I don't deserve you and I shouldn't have overreacted so much about something so simple."

"Hey, none of that now," He lays the book on the nightstand, careful to save his place for later before pulling you closer to him, "You were not, nor have you ever been a burden to me. Just because you needed a little extra help today does not mean you aren't deserving of me or my love. You will never have to earn that. It's yours, always has been, will be as long as you decide to keep me around."

"Thank you. For all of it. I'll always want you."

"Always? Y'might change your mind someday, angel."

"I won't. Promise."

"Yeah? Me either."

A kiss laid delicately to the top of your head has your eyes dangerously close to falling shut again before another thought navigates its way through your mind and out of your mouth before you can stop it.

"H..what am I gonna do with a full week off from work?"

"Let me take care of you?"

//

And that's exactly what he does.

Mornings spent sleeping in, late breakfasts made together and afternoon walks. Evenings consisting of the two of you preparing dinner together or ordering takeout from some of the forbidden places you couldn't eat from before. Mugs of herbal tea before early bedtimes, you sweetly falling asleep to the sound of his voice reading to you most nights.

But his favorite part was that the scent of lavender was no longer cursed for you. Some nights before your surgery, when you simply could not fall asleep the pain was so unbearable, you would fill the tub with hot water and lavender scented bubbles to try to calm yourself enough to be able to drift off afterwards. It never worked, the heat always doing more harm than good. Harry would always be waiting for you, open arms and a soft towel to wrap you in.

So the smell became one you hated, memories of sleepless nights and nausea. But now you were free to use it again for what you always loved it for before it was cursed. In your body wash, lotion, even your laundry detergent; spreading the scent all over your shared space in as many ways as you could.

He even mentions it one night after dinner, when the two of you are pressed impossibly close together on the couch. His nose buried into your neck, inhaling deeply, pulling away to announce, "You smell like you again, love. Missed it so much." He burrows back in, placing kisses from your neck to your shoulder, ignoring your giggles and protests of how much it tickles.

A week later, the alarm wakes you sooner than you've become accustomed to, reminding you of your return to work. Harry's arm thrown over your waist pulls you closer as you try to leave the bed, a sleepy "Don't go." mumbled in your ear.

You do your best to peel yourself away from him, admitting silently to yourself how much harder it is for you to leave the warmth of your bed as it is for him to let you go.

//

2 years later, you have a scar you swear didn't heal right, and a man who loves you even more because of it.

[ssa-sugar-tits]

queen of hearts // chapter nine

summary : y/n y/l/n was crushed when she found out about maeve donovan. heartbroken, she left her entire life behind. what happens when she becomes the most prolific serial killer the bau has ever seen?

series masterlist + taglist

content warnings : murder, gunshots, death, sexual harassment, angst (lots of it)

a/n : reader is a psychotic murderer. this is purely a work of fiction and if you or someone you know are experiencing homicidal urges, seek professional help immediately.

-

You did it.

Wow.

You got you and your baby out of that shithole and you're on the run. The news and the FBI plastered your face everywhere so of course you changed your appearance as best as you could. Can't really hide a 7 month baby bump though, can you? You make your way to an empty road and stick your thumb out to hitchhike. A woman with strawberry blonde hair stops, letting you into her worn out green truck.

-

"Thank you so much!" you exclaim, getting into the truck. Thump. Your heart could jump right out of your chest. All it takes is one headline, one picture and she'll turn you in.

"Make yourself comfy, sweetie," she gives you a warm smile. "I'm Maggie. Where you headed?"

"I'm Lucy," you lie. "Anywhere but here. As far as you can take me, please."

"What's got you running? If you don't mind me asking."

"Let's just say I got away from a very bad place." you whisper. It's not a lie.

Maggie nods sympathetically and goes to turn on the radio.

"No!" you clearly startle her, filling you with guilt. "I- I'm sorry, I'd just prefer silence right now."

"Don't worry about it, Lucy. I know what it's like to be in a bad situation, I know all too well." She says sadly. "I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable, you just sit tight."

Maggie's words give you a sense of comfort, her kindness sets you slightly at ease. It'd fucking suck to have to kill her, you think. After what seems like few hours, you wake up to see her pumping gas into the truck. She enters the store, telling you she's been craving some licorice and she'll be right back. You're not heartless, you don't want to hurt this sweet woman. So, as anyone would do, you knock out the only other person around with one swift swing of a bat you found in Maggie's truck. Getting into the car, you hotwire it while the man you hit groans on the ground, bleeding. Red stains his shirt and your heart races. It's been a long time since you've done anything like this. Shit, shit, shit. You see Maggie at the cash register, paying. Lucky for you, the talkative woman gives you time by conversing with the cashier. Spark. Got it. Taking one last glance, you see Maggie drop her bag and gasp, whipping her head to look at you. There's a fucking TV in the gas station and guess who's face is on it? You back up the van and wince at the sound of the man's bones cracking paired with his agonized scream. Now or never. Hitting the pedal, you floor it.

-

You stop to breathe for a moment, parking outside of a shitty looking motel. The neon sign is broken so it reads Mot l. You open the trunk of the car you stole to look for anything useful. How lucky, you think. A small, silver handgun is tucked away underneath a plaid knit blanket. Where are the bullets? Must be in the front. Getting into the car and searching the glove compartment, you locate the ammo.

"Goddamn, if that isn't one hell of an ass." A gruff voice behind you whistles. Ignoring him, what he says next makes your heart burst into fear. Thump. "Be careful lovely lady. Heard there's a killer running around. I'll keep you safe though." You feel a hand make its way onto your back slowly and you turn yourself on your back.

"Fuck off." you growl. Click. Gun loaded. Pointing it at the man's now petrified face, you smirk.

"I-I'm sorry!" he spits out.

"No, you aren't honey." Bang. His body hits the ground with a thud and the familiar metallic taste of blood splatters your face. A steady hand wipes away the remains from your eyes and you exit the car, as calmly as you can manage.

"I'd like a room please." The motel owner stares at you, astonished. At the blood or because he recognizes you? Either one isn't good. This wasn't a good decision-- at all. Thump. A shriek from the parking lot distracts you momentarily and the owner takes a laptop and hits you over the head.

"What the fuck?" you grumble. The dumbass didn't even draw blood. With a quick flash, you shoot him too. This whole thing is getting tiring. Fuck, fuck. How the fuck? you wonder, pissed off as you hear sirens. Did the source of the shriek really call the cops that fast? Or were you in such a haze that you can't even think straight, let alone keep track of time. Oh, fuck me. Three black SUVs are with the swarm of police cars. SUVs that you recognize without a doubt as the FBI. Thump. No negotiations this time, no bullshit.

You exit the motel with the gun in your hand. Red and blue lights make you squint and illuminate your figure in the dead of night. Getting a good look at the imagie in front of you, you laugh. Lo and behold, the BAU.

"I'm sorry." you say, just loud enough for everyone to hear before pointing the gun at Spencer Reid.

Bang. Thump. The sharp pain shoots through your chest and you hear a scream. Your head hits the ground and your entire body gives out.

"Y/N!"

You laugh, spitting up raspy strings of red as you do. Suddenly, your head is being cradled and you're being frantically whispered to and yelled about.

-

"Medic! We need a medic!"

-

"N-Nice turnout, isn't it?" You cough violently.

"Shh, don't talk Y/N. Please." He strokes your hair as the EMTs load you into the ambulance.

"S-Spence," you call out, barely able to stay conscious.

"What is it sweetheart?"

"Take care of my b-baby for me," another horrible cough escapes you. "Give her the best life you can, t-tell her..."

"Miss Y/L/N, hurry it up, we need to get you into surgery."

"Tell her that her mother loves her, even if I'm not around."

Spencer's eyes flood with tears, they spill out onto his cheeks as he watches the ambulance drive away. Then it hits him. Her. He's having a baby girl.

-

SPENCER'S POV - E.R.

-

Hours pass with still no update on Y/N's condition. Most of team has gone home, waiting on call. I don't blame them. I'm the only one still here for Y/N. I feel helpless, like my head is underwater and I'm about to drown. Guilty, so guilty that I still love her. Angry. She's the one who was shot yet the anguish I feel is so fucking deep that it's as if knives are stabbing at my lungs.

"Y/N Y/L/N?" I stand up so quickly I think I might fall over.

"Yes I'm her b--" he stops himself. "I'm Doctor Reid with the FBI, h-how is she?"

"No loved ones here for her? I heard she killed some people but damn."

"Is she stable or not?" I snap, regretting it immediately upon seeing her reaction.

And then she speaks.

"The bullets severed 3 major arteries."

No. They saved her. They have to have saved her.

"Y/N didn't make it."

Everything stops. It feels like my limbs and head weigh a ton. Everything's heavy. My breathing becomes less and less effective, disbelieving, tiring. All color in the room fades, leaving me in darkness. I feel weak and detached, chest clenching until I collapse into the chair behind me.

"Doctor Reid?" the surgeon questions softly.

I don't look at her. I stare at the wall across from me, unable to speak, unable to cry even. My mouth is dry and I feel broken.

"Doctor Reid, I need to know who the child of her father is. We were able to save her."

Thump. Thump. Exhale. I meet her eyes.

"Take me to my daughter please." I say low and as steady as I can without breaking down. The surgeon gives me an odd look, processing the information I've given before turning. I stop her.

"Wait..." I gulp heavily. "Can I see Y/N first?"

She nods, hesitantly.

"Right this way."

Y/N's body lays, peacefully. It should be comforting to know she wasn't scared when she died but I want her here with me. I take her cold, lifeless hand in mine and the tears finally leave me. I let out a loud cry and bring my face down to her stomach, resting and shaking on her skin.

"I'm so sorry," I cry to her body, unable to hear me. "I love-- loved you. I swear."

Sniffling painfully, I notice something in her bra. Leave it to Y/N to torture me even from the dead.

-

"Dearest Spencer,

I think the way things played out were fitting. If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. Fucking creep, took a letter out of my dead body's bra. Kidding, kidding. Seriously though, give my baby a pretty name, will ya? I hope she gets your kindness, your strength. Everything that makes you you. Raise her to be everything we've ever dreamed of. You make sure she knows I love her, so much. Now quit being a pussy and wipe those tears, darling. We both know I deserved this. I love you, Spence and I forgive you. You got this babe.

Yours truly, Y/N."

-

My heart is ripped out farther and farther with each word read. It gives me a sense of closure but the pain and turmoil doesn't go away. A life where Y/N isn't here with me isn't a life at all.

"Excuse me," I say blankly as if every emotion I'm feeling simply doesn't exist within me. "I'm done."

The woman guides and then leaves me alone with my child. I hold her in my arms and gasp lightly. She's small but perfect and she smiles at me, lighting my heart. She has Y/N's smile. The fire inside me lessens, being slightly soothed by the newborn in my arms. We'd spoken a few times about having children but I'd always thought she'd be here when the day came. I think about it for a second. I won't name her Y/N, that's much too cliche for Y/N's liking. She isn't the type to name a child without meaning.

"Ellie." I whisper.

Ellie. Meaning 'shining light'.

The light I already love.

The light that holds every piece of Y/N's story in her eyes.

The light that'll get me through this utter darkness.

My light.

Goodbye Y/N. I'll never forget you, the light and the love of my mortal life.

-

[twstarchives]

Ortho Shroud・Voice Lines

Additional Voice Lines: Star Send-Off Garments Event Card

Archetype Gear - R

Unlock Card “Even though you can’t use magic, with me here it’ll be okay.”

Groovy “If you ever have any problems, you can consult me anytime.”

Home Setting “If you aren’t studying, come play with me!”

Home Transitions “I’m glad Big Brother is going to class, but now there’s nothing for me to do except sit next to him optimizing my internal storage.”

“If you need to look something up, you could ask me instead of going to the library. I can search for you right away!”

“Location information acquired. Scan complete. There are no reports of danger in the selected area.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my mainframe platform body, the Archetype Gear.”

Home Taps “It’s kind of hard for me to make friends with the ghosts. They don’t even have physical bodies and yet they’re always making fun of me.”

“What do you want to play today? We can’t do hide-and-seek. My sensors can immediately tell me where a living person is located.”

“Data from 100,000 books is stored inside me by default. Should I read them out loud?”

“Sometimes when I feel like it, I take classes together with everyone. The teachers never say anything.”

“I’ve already run durability tests on all of the building exteriors. Don’t worry!”

Athletic Gear - R

Unlock Card “Sometimes I just want to put my feet on the ground and try walking like a real person.”

Groovy “Let’s run as hard as we can and see how fast we can go!”

Home Setting “If you want to play tag, just say so whenever!”

Home Transitions “Your vital signs appear abnormal. ...You're not breathing steadily. Did you run here just to see me?”

“I’m going to go play tag with the drones Big Brother built! Do you want to come watch?”

“I asked Big Brother to play magift with me because I want him to exercise, but... he said no again today.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my self-moving lightweight attachment, the Athletic Gear.”

Home Taps “I’m really good at surfing! Oh, not on the water, I was talking about online data.”

“This is my lightweight model, so my outer durability is a little weak compared to my other bodies. I have to be careful.”

“It sounds really inconvenient to have to obtain energy using your mouth. Why don’t you switch to using a charger?”

“I have a spare battery attached to my hip. It’s used just like how you guys have a drink when you get thirsty.”

“Ahaha, that tickles! I forgot to turn off my touch sensors.”

Precision Gear - SR

Unlock Card “Please don’t shake me too roughly or open my cover. It may lead to unexpected injury.”

Groovy “Scan complete... Good. It says there are no abnormalities in your health today either!”

Home Setting “It’s really easy for me to do detailed work that not even people can do.”

Home Transitions “Alright, tell me, is anything broken today? ...Hehe, I’m playing pretend doctor!”

“Big Brother is so mean! Whenever he drops his pen down the crack of his desk, he uses my precise-work arm to get it.”

“Would you let me examine Mr. Grim’s body today? I’ll be gentle. No?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my attachment designed for intricate work, the Precision Gear.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Come to me anytime you ever get hurt. I’ll repair you right away with the world’s latest medical tools.”

Home Taps “Both magic and science are used to benefit people. The only difference is their principles; everything else is the same.”

“Thanks to the fiberscope connected to my back, I can even see all the way in the back of the bookshelves, where everyone hides things.”

“I can analyze the components of magic potions just by drinking them. Sometimes I get error messages, though...”

“Data of all the basics of medicinal plants and drugs is stored in this body. Please use me to your convenience.”

“I have experienced more physical contact than is advised within the time frame. Now reporting to admin.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “For humans, if even a small wound gets exposed to bacteria, something really bad can happen, right? Underestimating it is bad! Okay?”

Burst Gear - SR

Unlock Card “Magic energy has tremendous possibilities. I’ll show you them someday!”

Groovy “Look at every inch of this body Big Brother worked so hard to make!”

Home Setting “Charging magic energy complete.”

Home Transitions “The circuits laid out inside my main model enable me to process magic energy at ultra-high speeds. Big Brother’s skills are really the greatest in the world.”

“I am Ortho Shroud. How may I assist you? ...Oh, I was on auto-mode.”

“Big Brother really hates places with lots of people... I don’t think he’ll come to this.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my attachment high-powered with magic energy, the Burst Gear.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “This body is equipped with ten times more magic circuits than my usual model, so it has a lot of big outer parts.”

Home Taps “When everyone’s at the ceremony, the classrooms are empty, and I can mess around as much as I want... Ah. I should keep that secret.”

“It’s good it’s so easy for everyone to take baths and do laundry. Cleaning my parts takes forever...”

“Big Brother is always the one who designs my models. I’m really proud of all of my bodies!”

“This is a special paint job done with layers of special coatings. But to human eyes, it probably just looks black.”

“Wah, don’t touch my heat exhaust parts! You might get burned!”

Home Tap (Groovy) “When we have our next ceremony, can you forcibly drag Big Brother there? I think I’m just too soft on him...”

Take His Hand “I wonder what fun things are going to happen today! I can't wait!”

Lv Up “Storing data is very important.”

“Performance improved!”

“I feel my abilities increasing. I’m happy!”

Max Lv Up “My model’s capabilities have reached their max. Let me show you my improved performance; it’ll surprise you.”

Episode Lv Up “Thank you for always cherishing me. I’ll work hard to help you even more.”

Magic Lv Up “My magic energy skills are improving everyday. Ordinary magic is no match for it!”

Limit Break “There are no limits to my extensibility. You can expect my abilities to continuously be updated.”

Groovy “Update complete. Please look forward to seeing my new abilities!”

Lesson Select “Gathering outside intelligence is very effective in improving an AI’s capabilities.”

“That class looks fun! I’ll go ask Big Brother if it’s okay if I accompany you.”

“It’s alright if you fall asleep during class. I’m equipped with 200 types of wake-up functions. So I’ll be there to keep you up!”

Lesson Start “Let’s do our best, everyone.”

Lesson End “I’ve inputted a lot of information.”

Battle Start “Now activating expanded combat mode.”

Battle Win “Were you able to feel our power?”

Other

Profile Quote “My big brother really is an amazing person.”

January 2020 Trailer “At our academy, we give a great big welcome to both the living and the nonliving!”

Countdown Poster “Are you a living person? Then you should be friends with my big brother!”

Login Bonus “Oh, right! Students need to go to class everyday. I wish Big Brother picked up on that too.”

Player Birthday Wish “Happy birthday! I did all sorts of searches, but I couldn’t figure out what present would make you happy... Oh! Do you want any information online? I could even give you classified info as a gift. What would you like?”

[jbbuckybarnes]

Petal Light - 3/7

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Petal) Summary: Hydra has taken over, there is surveillance everywhere and you need to stay covered or inside as much as possible. The Avengers slowly begin to form a resistance with civilians to start taking down Hydra bit by bit. Who thought your mind would be occupied with a little light that runs all around the compound? Warnings: Fun, mission, a little girl being abandoned in a building A/N: This is not beta read, but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway!

M A S T E R L I S T | Petal Light Masterlist

“Steve, Nat, Petal? You’re gonna get a few blocks to go through, might bring us up to our goal for 50 people to give training to.” Tony said the next day at your Sunday noon meeting. “Alright. Downing a few drones, sending people to sweep. Repeat. Talk to them, create morale, let the others train them into good shooters and fighters for a few weeks. Pick out the soldiers to immediately help the resistance. Although, those might be hard to find with the extensive data the military and all those agencies had on all of them to seek them out.” you added your own two cents. “Let’s go.” Nat grinned and picked the device from the table. “Gonna have to brainstorm a few resistance ideas, calls and strategies with you two on the way.” You smirked at Steve and Nat and she smirked back, that was your bestie.

“Teaching them hand-to-hand, how to disarm and how to shoot. And some survival basics.” Nat mumbled in the car to the mission area. “Medical basics but that’s like a weekend of information and we can give them little flyers about it,” you added. “Maybe preparing them as well as we can for killing someone,” Steve chimed in. “Yeah, that’s pretty damn important,” you mumbled. “We’re here, ready to take down some drones?” Nat grinned at Steve and you and everyone shared a nod before you got out of the car and into the next best cover.

“Patrol!” Nat whispered over to you and you tensed up. “Damn!” You mumbled. She counted down on her fingers before you both ducked out of your covers and took down one Hydra agent each. “Hostile activity detected!” You heard from a robotic voice and turned around to a drone light shining on you. You pressed the button to EMP the device and it fell out of the sky, Steve catching it just in time. “We need to move, NOW!” Steve ordered and you all got in the car and drove to the next block, this time parking in a back alley.

“Great, now we have to be extra careful with drones AND hostiles,” you grumbled before pressing the button again, catching the drone gracefully. “With each drone, they see going offline, they will know where we are,” Nat whispered before walking to the other exit of the alley and downing the drone there. “One block done, one to go.” Steve documented. You spoke into your earpiece, “The sweeping team might need extra backup, we might’ve triggered a drone out here.” “Great,” Tony answered sarcastically. “I know,” you grumbled. --- “We found her all alone.” One of the trusted SHIELD agents came towards you with a child after the sweep mission ended. She had a little girl on her arm, maybe 4 and clearly a little bit uncomfortable and scared. “Left a note where we found her in case her parents just were somewhere else.” The agent continues. Team Cap stood left and right to you, turning all soft when the child started to scan through them and began to recognize them. She visibly relaxed and you got closer, “What’s your name?” “Eva,” she answered with big eyes at you. “And how old are you Eva?” You asked shaking her small hand. “3 and a half.” She smiled proudly. “Woah, you’re pretty big for your age, Eva.” You grinned and got a grin back. “Do you wanna play with new toys, Eva?” The agent asked the girl and didn’t get a response. Eva was staring at Bucky, his metal arm and picked up on the soft but awkward mood he emitted. Little hands reached out towards him and he shifted for a second before exhaling and stepping forward to take her. “I like arm.” She smiled up at him and clapped her hands excitedly. “You wanna play with James?” You asked the little one. “Yes!” She smiled brightly, “Play with James!”

He smiled at the energy-filled child on his right arm and nodded, “What do you wanna play, Eva?” “I wanna play cars.�� She made big eyes up at him. “Then we’ll have to look for all the cars.” His eyes got big too. You chuckled and he looked up, “What?” “I don’t know, it’s adorable,” you shrugged and added, “Sorry for using your actual name, was trying to save you from the butt jokes.” He chuckled shaking his head before looking at Eva, “Let’s find the cars, huh?” “Cars!” She clapped again before both of them wandered off.

“Part of the resistance should be group therapy and child care,” you added to the list in the evening at the dinner table. Eva was still with Bucky, sitting next to him, getting her food cut by Natasha. “Yeah, Bucky can’t play dad for all of them.” Sam chuckled. “He probably could, but I feel like he wouldn’t get any sleep doing it.” You chuckled. “I’d do it if you all didn’t need me so much.” He grinned. “Woah, chill over there. It’s not like we don’t have Natasha.” “Guys, manners at the dinner table, a child is present.” She grinned at the round now. “I’ll definitely try to join in on that whenever you all don’t need me,” Rhodey said with a soft smile towards the little girl. “God, all these men are so soft all of a sudden. Didn’t know you just needed a child in the room for that,” you smirked and shared a look with Nat.

The evening was spent on the only working TV in the compound, with a DVD of Paw Patrol. Eva was cuddled between Bucky’s metal arm and his chest and clearly enjoying the warmth. Steve was on his right side, you on his left, monitoring her more, always ready to answer potential questions about why she’s here, but they never came. After 6 episodes she was fast asleep, face squished against Bucky’s jumper and drooling. “Can we keep her?” He grinned at the little girl, softly going through her hair with his warm hand. “If her parents don’t turn up, sure.” You shrugged and both of you interchanged at a grin. “She’s an angel,” He mumbled totally in love with giving Eva comfort. “Yeah...where does she sleep though?” You asked the important question. The sweep team had collected not only food but also mattresses. But you didn’t want her to wake up on the floor in an almost empty room. The people you had rescued until now still needed to be thoroughly checked for espionage and only a few were people you already trusted. “She can sleep in my room.” He looked up from her at you. “Alright, don’t be surprised if you’re woken up by someone jumping on your chest.” You giggled. “She could wake me up anytime.” He stuck out his tongue.

Petal Light Masterlist