#Quite frankly the only one who can actually sing is jungkook

[forestlion]

i wish jimin of bts had solid stable vocals so bad

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing | drabble i. | m

WARNINGS. jealous jk, jk's gf is hot and he's not the only one who thinks that, jimin and tae as instigators, i swear jimin and jk love each other, fucking in public spaces aka a car in a parking lot, jk luvs his gf, appearance of perpetrator jin!

NOTE. i missed this couple 🥺oc is living her hot girl summer life and jk does nawt know how to deal with it Lol. hope u enjoy loves!!!!

WORDS. 3k+

“I’m okay,” Jungkook murmurs, eyes fluttering shut as he repeats his own personal mantra. “I’m good. I’m fine—I’m chill. Chillest person ever. I’m good—”

“He’s not okay,” Taehyung snickers.

Jungkook blocks the negativity out, purposefully and intentionally. Nothing could ruin his day—not on his watch, especially as the sun shines over bodies across the beach while the waves break into beautiful fragments that he’s yearning to dip his feet into.

Personal affirmations came first.

“I’m good, I’m fine, I’m okay,” he chants like a crazy person, definitely earning some form of side-eye from the people next to him but he can’t be bothered. Another person thinking that he was insane wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to him—not when—

“You should open your eyes,” Jimin says, “How are you going to fight them if you don’t know thy enemy?”

Immediately, Jungkook’s peace is disturbed by the mouth of Park Jimin, who painfully reminds him of why he’s got into the entire personal mantra and affirmation thing. He used to think it was redundant, unnecessary. How could the universe return your wishes just as you’ve uttered them into the atmosphere? It didn’t seem logical to him.

But right now, that didn’t matter—not when he had bigger things to be worried about.

“Don’t disturb my peace,” Jungkook snaps.

“They did it first,” Jimin retorts, cocking his head towards the flock of people at a certain part of the beach, specifically towards where the water meets the shore.

Jungkook’s eye twitches. His peace is disrupted, his happiness is compromised and it’s all Park Jimin’s fault. He spent a good amount of time getting into his zone, reaffirming himself that he was in fact, fine, good—he was okay! But now, he feels all his resolve dissolve when he realises he can’t even see the main thing that was responsible for his dilemmas.

“You’d think a celebrity was on this beach,” Taehyung snorts.

“Not helping,” Jungkook says dryly.

“So isn’t your crazy person chanting,” Jimin points out, “but yet, here we are—listening to you reciting your own version of a biblical verse.”

“I’m fine,” Jungkook grits for the umpteenth time, and no less is his assertions any more convincing than it was a moment ago. The flicker of his irises towards to crowd is enough to prove that fact. “I’m just enjoying my day at the beach with my friends and my girlfriend.”

“See, there are two false statements in that,” Taehyung tilts his head downwards, offering a smug smirk that Jungkook wishes he could shove into the sand beneath him. “You’re definitely not enjoying this because I can see the veins protruding out of your neck at how hard you’re clenching your jaw, and”—the older boy makes the effort to taunt Jungkook further by letting out a low whistle the moment the crowd seems to grow slightly bigger—“you’re partially right about the friend part. Your girlfriend though … where is she?”

I’m good. I’m okay. I’m cool—

“Oblivious, as usual,” Jimin sighs, plopping back onto the beach towel beneath him while shooting Jungkook a pointed stare. “It’d be sad if you only called her your girlfriend for six months when you’ve been in love with her for seven years.”

“Okay that’s it. I’m going there,” Jungkook declares, huffing as he pushes himself off the ground while Jimin makes an effort to grab at his ankle, halting the younger boy from causing any damage and potentially getting them banned from ever returning.

“Not with that temper you aren’t,” Jimin snaps, “Sit your ass down. God. Can’t you take a joke?”

“A joke?” Jungkook splutters, abhorred. “You literally just said she’s going to break up with me!”

“I said that it’d be sad if—”

“Same fucking difference,” he hisses, rubbing a hand across his face before he kicks Jimin’s petty grip off his ankle while levelling him with a menacing glare. Jungkook’s eyes slowly drift to the side where you finally enter his vision, still smiling like the soft and sweet person you were as you help Namjoon with whatever crab hunting mission he had.

See, Jungkook’s mature enough to know that you and Namjoon were good friends, great ones, even. The two of you were smart and clicked well, and if anything, Jungkook was more envious of the fact that the two of you shared such a wholesome and meaningful friendship than anything else.

The fact that Namjoon used to have feelings for you didn’t bother Jungkook anymore, not when he knew where your heart truly laid. He also trusted Namjoon with his entire life and his firstborns (not that he’d ever tell you that, and God—did he hope that day would eventually come when it came to you). But still, Jungkook was mature—he did some growing up, and he was proud of that.

But Jungkook’s human, a flawed, ever-learning and constantly improving human. A human who’s crazy in love with his pretty girlfriend that he’s longed for years—and a human who isn’t blind. A human who can’t ignore the fact that, apparently, he wasn’t the only person that was trying to keep himself in check at how stunning you were. Every day—and especially today, with how your dainty yellow bikini drapes over the curves of your body.

Jungkook nearly cries. Yellow was his favourite colour. You wore it for him.

Not for—

“Maybe you should head over,” Taehyung murmurs, snapping Jungkook out of his love-filled mind as his eyes clear, immediately catching what his friend was referring to.

Some dude. Talking to you. Smiling at you like you carried all the answers to all the world problems as you giggle a tune comparable to birds chirping. Maybe Jungkook was exaggerating but it always sounded like you were singing his favourite song even if you were just explaining economical concepts to him like a soothing e-book.

“God, why couldn’t she have been ugly,” Jungkook groans.

“You wouldn’t have dated her otherwise,” Jimin retorts.

Jungkook gawks, affronted as he gives his two friends a scandalised expression as he places his hands over his chest to indicate the offence he took to that statement.

“I’m not superficial,” he huffs, “I fell in love with her because of her—”

“Personality, yada yada,” Jimin mocks him in a lower tune that has Jungkook glaring at him. “Yeah, okay. But don’t tell me that her being pretty doesn’t help you bust a nut every once in a while.”

Jungkook flushes.

“Well, yeah, but I’m her boyfriend—”

“Thank you for reminding me that you are in fact, still a boy,” Jimin rolls his eyes, “Men. Mansplaining everything, really.”

Jungkook’s jaw slackens as his eyes briefly land on Taehyung’s figure who doesn’t look too bothered with how the conversation turned out as he shrugs in response.

“How about you do the typical manly thing of being a jealous prick and go over there and stomp over all her fan club members,” Jimin says sarcastically, resting his arm over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

There’s a brief rustle from where the sand meets the towel, and a relatively long period of silence while the only thing that permeates the air is the sound of waves with laughter coming from a family a distance away.

“He did exactly that, didn’t he.”

“You need to stop giving him ideas,” Taehyung sighs, plopping a grape into his mouth before occupying the space next to his friend. “Should we find another beach to frequent?”

“Really?” you laugh, “That’s so cool! I’m actually planning on landing an apprenticeship there over the summer.”

“Oh?” The man is leaning way too close to you for comfort, but you’re unfazed. Jungkook doesn’t even want to know where the hell Namjoon had gone, leaving you with this broad-shouldered, terrifyingly handsome man. “I could definitely put a good word in for you if you’d like.”

You beam, appreciative rather than brazen. But Jungkook thinks the man doesn’t know that.

“I don’t think I can accept that, Seokjin.”

And of course, you knew his name.

“Why not?” Seokjin smirks, and Jungkook knows that it’s definitely done him justice in other situations. “For a beautiful—”

“____,” he interjects, smoothly (or not quite) sliding next to you as his arms wrap around your waist before his glare rests on the man before him, who looks both shocked and unbothered at his appearance. “Who’s this?”

You jump slightly at Jungkook’s arrival but relax when you realise that it was just him and not some other beach weirdo.

“Jungkook, this is Seokjin! He actually attended our university—”

“Really,” he says dryly, “That’s nice.”

“Is this your …?” Seokjin looks Jungkook up and down before settling with a rather unimpressed look. “Do seniors usually bring their shadows out for playdates?”

Your eyes widen at his patronising tone, and before can even think to correct him with a tilted frown, Jungkook’s fingers dig into your waist, a precursor to his jaw that clenches while he engages in his own version of a staredown with the man before you.

“Boyfriend.”

Seokjin raises a brow.

“Me,” Jungkook blinks, unnerved and quite frankly, tired. He’s crossed this bridge enough times, and it’s always the same. Some older dude who thought that you were doing charity work by having Jungkook tag along with like some puny little brother. “I’m her boyfriend.”

“Jungkook—” you start, softly reaching to grip his arm.

“Interesting,” Seokjin says offhandedly and Jungkook knows it’s anything but. “Well, my offer still stands.”

He’s directing it to you as you peer up at him with your notoriously innocent eyes. Jungkook hates that this douche is still unaffected by his blatant declaration of the fact that you were—taken.

“I—that’s fine, Seokjin,” you say softly, lips curling into a thankful smile before he nods.

The look he sends Jungkook is nothing short of unimpressed, and Jungkook’s thinking of clamming the dude into the sand and quite literally, bury the hatchet with him. Sure, he was handsome and broad, and undoubtedly ripped—but Jungkook trained to benchpress twice his weight so he could beat up assholes who tried to hit on his girlfriend.

Right before he leaves, Jungkook calls for his name—intentionally calling him Seokmin—noting the way his face drops into a scowl.

“You’re not her type.”

He scoffs.

“And you are?” he throws back, brows raised as a challenge.

“That’s why I get to hold her and you’re walking away.”

With that, Seokjin doesn’t bother responding to Jungkook, especially in the way that you gawk at your boyfriend’s blatant warning to the older man.

He titters off, and it’s effectively just you and Jungkook standing by the shore while you briefly see the way Namjoon stutters before deciding to return to where Jimin and Taehyung lays.

Jungkook’s still seething in his rage, clenching and unclenching his fists even though he got the last word. It wasn’t that he thought you’d elope with Seokjin and leave him—he trusted you wholeheartedly and vice versa. He knew you loved him and so did he.

It had more to do with the fact that Seokjin saw you, and eventually, him—and thought that Jungkook wasn’t fit to be your boyfriend. That he saw a gorgeous girl on the beach and expected her to be single, and if not—to be with a boyfriend that had his shit together and not … not Jungkook.

“Jungkook?” you say quietly, tugging at his elbow while you peer up at him with wide and apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry.”

It’s no good, the fact that you’re apologising. As if you were responsible for his insecurities when you’ve done nothing but shower him with love and support ever since the two of you started officially dating.

“Don’t apologise,” he says stiffly, though his heart isn’t angry—he can’t help the way his words get out. “It’s not your fault.”

“But—”

“If you apologise then you’re gonna piss me off, baby,” he says lightly, peering you down with a small smirk as your eyes widen.

“I—okay,” you say weakly, and before he knows it, you’re intertwining your fingers with his, eyes suddenly twinkling in a way he’s grown all too familiar with.

“You have the keys?” he murmurs softly.

You nod, blind and in love as you sigh.

“Take care of me?” you ask sweetly, and Jungkook forgets all about Seokjin when he has you right in front of him.

“O-Oh, fuck—Jungkook—ngh—”

Maybe Jungkook really was a crazy person, but he’d argue that you were equally as crazy to oblige to indulge in his lewd fantasies. He was crazy, for you and your cunt that was like nirvana, and it’s proven further when he fucks into you at a brutal pace, uncaring whether or not the car shakes with the exertion of the activities that were taking place in it.

It could be the fact that he had a decade worth of fantasies to play out, but he knows that he plays a huge part in opening your sexual nature and he couldn’t be happier about it, especially when you unabashedly throw your head onto your chest, whimpering with the dirty squelches of his thrusts that echo in the vehicle.

“You’re mine, aren’t you?” he growls, hand wrapping around the back of your neck to force your glassy eyes to look at him.

The look on your face is enough to get Jungkook even more riled up, your flushed cheeks and swollen lips while you nod your head manically, crazy—and his.

“Y-Yours,” you whimper, and just about then, Jungkook brings your hips down with his free hand and meets you with a sharp thrust that has your mouth dropping open and your face scrunched up in pleasure. “F-Fuck, J-Jungkook.”

“No one gets to fuck you like this,” he hisses, pressing a hot kiss to your neck as you whine, hips involuntarily swivelling to meet his fast pace. The car is shaking and it’s all too risky, Jungkook knows that—but his rationale is clouded with the antagonising face of Seokjin. “No one gets to see you like this. Only I do.”

“Y-Yes!” you sob, clutching onto him as he feels your pussy tighten viciously around him, the walls of your inner linings spasming as Jungkook hisses at the feeling. “Only you K-Kook. Only ever want you.”

Jungkook believes you, especially when you desperately hold onto him as he feels himself slowly reach the edge. He knows you are too, especially when your whines get higher in pitch, and your tugs against his shoulders get tighter. He knows because he’s learnt about your body as your boyfriend—and he’s the only person that will ever get to have you like this.

The thought, paired along with the risk of your situation only fuels his determination to get you off, his strong arms immediately wrapping around you to root you into place as he shoves his cock deeper into you.

“Come on, pretty girl,” he croons as you mewl in pleasure, breathless whines turning more desperate as your eyes flutter shut. “You wanna show me how much you want me?”

You nod manically, your pussy fluttering around his length as he grunts in exertion.

“G-Gonna—pleasedon’tstop—fuck, I-I’m cumming—!” you cry, tugging your face into the crook of his neck as Jungkook bites his lips in focus, all ready to accept your hot pleasure and his own.

“Come for me,” he encourages, lips hovering over your earlobe as you obey his orders, head thrown back as he watches your mouth drop wider and your eyes roll to the back of your head, pussy tightening around his length.

Jungkook thinks you’re beautiful. On days where you don’t feel like you do, but he may be biased to say that he thinks you look absolutely stunning for him like this. When he knows that he’s the one responsible for your reddened cheeks, the way you so desperately cling onto him whenever you’d orgasm (the only person that would ever know this fact about you), and the way that you’re left breathless, satiated and with that hazed expression after his resolute efforts.

Jungkook cums shortly after, with those exact thoughts plaguing his mind. He was so whipped. He really only had to think of you and he would get hard, and having you right above him, soft and warm with your arms draped loosely over his form made his heart all mushy and soft despite the way his cock stands erect.

You mewl in oversensitivity although you don’t complain. You never do, whenever Jungkook cums after you. Even now, when Jungkook comes down from his high with pants of his own, his own mind-clearing while his cock softens in you—you remain patient. Patient like the ever-loving, wonderful girlfriend that you were—one that Jungkook wasn’t sure he deserved.

“Wow,” you giggle, forehead resting against his as you return from your own post-orgasmic bliss. “I can’t believe I let you fuck me in a parking lot.”

Jungkook flushes, reality sinking in when he realised that the two of you weren’t hidden from plain sight. While the idea of being caught was definitely arousing, Jungkook knew he wasn’t too keen on having anyone see you delirious, even if it was all for him. He was lucky enough that your bikini top remained on the entire time, but both your sweaty bodies were enough of a dead giveaway.

“I just,” Jungkook tries to explain, words slurring in embarrassment as you raise a brow at him. “You look really pretty today.”

You stare at his forlorn expression as if admitting that pained him. Jungkook feels slightly embarrassed at how he reacted, and if you notice this, you don’t point it out—yet.

“Wore this for you,” you murmur, pressing a soft kiss to the mole under his lip. Jungkook’s heart soars at your admission even if he knew that. “You know it’s only for you, right?”

Your question is purposeful and Jungkook shamefully looks to his lap, and even then—you’re still connected. He slowly pulls out, wincing when his cum threatens to pool out of your pussy, but before he can pretend to clean you up, you’re putting your bikini bottoms back in place and clamping your hands over his cheeks so that he’d look at you.

“Jungkook,” you say sternly.

He sighs.

“Yes,” he groans, feeling a lot like a child who’s being berated. “I just—God. He was such a prick.”

“I know,” you say gently, fingers combing through his hair while he melts into your touch. “There are a lot of pricks out there, but you know that I only love you, right?”

Your confession is the same as the one you’ve made six months ago, and just last night before the two of you fell asleep—but it’s a confession that Jungkook never grows tired of.

“I know,” he mumbles as you giggle at him. “It’s just that … he really thought he had a chance with you, and when he saw me it was like—”

You frown, finger pressed against his lips to stop his rambling as he peers up at you with doe-eyes.

“None of that,” you chide lightly, “I don’t care what people think. The only person I care about is you, and no one will change that, okay?”

Jungkook feels himself relax into your touch, especially when you lean forward to capture his lips in a soft kiss that isn’t set to lead anywhere. He remembers. He remembers the times where you were unsure and all too worried of the words of others—and here you were, with him and with your gentle and loving soul, the embodiment of comfort as you tell him the words he’s always known but needs to be reminded of.

“I love you,” he says quietly as you grin widely at him, “Sorry for—you know.”

You roll your eyes, lifting your leg to get off his lap as you wince at the cum that threatens to escape your lips.

“I mean, it was kind of hot,” you shrug with a small smirk.

“God, I’ve created a monster,” Jungkook snorts, looking over at you when you shoot him a devious grin.

“You love it,” you throw back cheekily, leaning into his shoulder as he wraps an arm around you with a sigh.

He does. And he knows that he’s the only one that you’ll love back.

[milkygcf]

UNDER THE MISTLETOE

Pairing | knj x gender-neutral reader

Genre | tooth-rotting fluff i think, established relationship

Warnings | just a tiny bit of cursing, the boys are a chaotic mess

Summary | ❝ Nothing can beat a holiday spent with Namjoon.❞

Word Count | 4.1k

Author’s Note | THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE MESS I’M SORRY 😭🙏 i rush wrote this so i could put up something for christmas. nonetheless, i hope whoever reads this enjoys it! also, big thanks to @youarejesting​ for the banner! i love it, it’s so cute :( another little side note is, this is also part of @btscreatorscorner​‘s Crystal Snow Event! make sure to take a look at all the other works :] happy holidays!

Christmas with Namjoon is always a wild ride. From hectic decoration shopping to disastrous baking, to actual decorating and singing Christmas songs together. However, it's not like you're complaining, because as rowdy as Christmas time can be with your significant other, nothing can beat a holiday spent with Namjoon.

Every year is an open door to new shenanigans, handmade gifts and memories that embed themselves warmly into your heart. This year isn't any different, except for the fact that the rest of the group were joining for dinner - along with the chaos they always brought along with them. As close as you are with your boyfriend, not even your connection could beat theirs. It's heart-warming - as much as they argue, nothing could possibly tear them apart. Nothing could bring you any more serotonin than the jovial smile that attacks Namjoon's handsome features whenever they're around.

Now, you’re all nearing your thirties - except for Jungkook, he was still bearing life without early back problems - and you suppose you all look the part as well. Unless it's Christmas season and the young man himself proposes they all compete in a Best Decorated House competition between themselves. The winner earns himself an extra present from every participant - which you find rather amusing because you're pretty sure they were willing to buy each other the world in a blink of an eye. The loser, however, gets to wash every dish used during dinner. Ouch.

"Deal!" Namjoon hollers, finger pointed up in agreement, his chest puffed out in pride. You know he's going to stress about it later on because as much as you love the man, he's absolute shit when it comes to decorating. If it weren't for you, his house would be a shit-show. Sorry, Namjoon.

"Can't wait to beat all of your sorry asses!" Seokjin yells even louder, an arm hooked around Yoongi's waist. The energy he radiates astonishes you because even if he's the eldest from the lot, he's always the energetic one. Seokjin might as well be your icon.

And that's how it all began - the calm before the storm. But then again, them proposing this very idea wasn't exactly calm.

You feel a shy tap on your shoulder while you're busy scanning through your fifth isle. Namjoon holds out a tiny Christmas tree to you, his eyes round and shiny. You already know you won't be able to refuse. "Can we get it? Please - my bonsai needs a new friend."

"I think your bonsai would be sad to know their friend is made out of plastic, Joon."

"Well, they wouldn't be sad if they didn't know, right?"

His grin is brimming with mirth. He knows what you're going to say - there was no need to even ask you in the first place because he knew you could never resist his puppy eyes. "Fine," you sigh softly, offering him your sweetest smile. "Make sure Mon doesn't swallow it whole. That dog is a menace."

"He has a restless soul. We'll buy him reindeer ears on our way home."

"Yes!" It elicits giggles from both of you - Namjoon had introduced you to Rapmon just two months into the relationship, claiming you must meet your competition because it's only fair. Frankly, you think the dog himself is competing with your boyfriend - the second you set sight on his silky fur you’ve vowed to never leave his side. Rapmon was an absolute gem. From then on, he was a big part of the events you celebrated together - the main character in your little shenanigans.

Once you've both paid whatever you needed for the day, heaving a ton of shopping bags, you step out of the shop in a fit of giggles. As sophisticated and stern as Namjoon may look, he's quite possibly the clumsiest giant you've ever met. Unfortunately for him, he had accidentally ripped one of the bags you had brought along and as he readied to lift it, all contents came tumbling out as he gawked in terror. Red instantly rushed to his cheeks and you found it hard not to burst out laughing in his face. He wouldn't want to become more flustered than he already felt.

"Every day I wake up to the face of embarrassment," he mumbles ashamedly, shaking his head in dismay. You could only continue to chortle before leaning in to place a tender kiss on his cheek. "It's okay dummy," his cheeks redden even more, "Would some hot chocolate fix your mood?" The second the words slip out of your lips, his face no longer holds a grim expression.

Getting hot chocolate from Pixie’s Magic! is like a tradition between you and Namjoon. Not only was it where you both had met, but it served the most delicious brews you’ve ever tasted. Nothing could possibly beat this little shop in the corner of the mall you were currently in. 

Although it was usually calm and quiet, it seemed to be bustling the day you both go out to buy Christmas decorations. There’s a myriad of people piling up in plan of buying themselves the warmest cup of cocoa - a cup of happiness that would complete their own Christmas. Within that queue of people were families, couples and even people who spend their time alone during the festive season. Pixie’s hot cocoa never failed to brighten days.

You scout through your newly bought items for anything that might pass time. Namjoon stands beside you with his phone in hand, thumb clumsily scrolling through whatever he’d missed from the boys’ usual spam session. “Hoseok’s already got most of his decorations up. Something tells me we’re not winning this so easily.” 

“We’re literally up against Seokjin and Jungkook.” 

He pulls his lips in a taut line - going up against those two was a one way stop to instant loss. Nothing, absolutely nothing could beat either one of them. The competition was and will always be between Seokjin and Jungkook because both were as dense as a brick and would stop at nothing to earn themselves a victory. Frankly, you found it entertaining, even if they were constantly at each other’s throats and threatening to burn each other down - jokingly, of course, you’d never condone violence. Brotherly love if you’ve ever seen it. 

“They’re out of the question. We’re up against the rest, those two idiots can eat an egg.” His bluntness makes you burst into fits of giggles, earning the clear attention of those either ahead of you or waiting (im)patiently behind. Namjoon always had a rather poetic way of saying things. “An egg? You’d be doing them a favour.”

He doesn’t quite realise what you mean until a few seconds later when he breathes out a dejected sigh and massages his temple soothingly. “They’re a whole mess.” 

And he’s right, because when you’re back in the comfort of your humble abode with a warm cup of cocoa waiting for you in the living room, Namjoon’s phone keeps endlessly buzzing. 

“You can’t keep ignoring them forever, you know.”

Namjoon sometimes thinks about how difficult his life would be without you. Go figure that there was no way of avoiding them, right? If you hadn’t told him, he would’ve never guessed so.

The couch sinks underneath his weight as he plants himself beside you, placing a mushy kiss onto your cheek. He’s quick to hand you his beverage once Mon literally hops onto him, wagging his tail like the euphoric little rascal that he is. And there’s peace and quiet, the sound of the crackle of the fireplace, until Namjoon’s thumb slides over the tiny green button making his phone constantly vibrate.

“Namjoon! What took you so long?!”

Seokjin’s voice comes booming out of the device nestled in your boyfriend’s palm. You must admit - it startled you just a bit, but it’s not like you weren’t used to their rambunctious behaviour. “We thought you died. Almost worried us for a while there.”

“Actually,” Jimin so pridefully interrupts, “He was just about ready to forget about you. Don’t act like you didn’t see cloud nine when Tae suggested Joon backed out.” It was all fun and games, affectionate brotherly love between the lot until suddenly, it was a trademarked apocalypse. Truly mind-blowing. 

“You tattletale-!”

“Don’t worry Seokjin,” you snort, “He’s still up and running.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” Offence washes over Namjoon’s face - perhaps it really is him against the world. Kim Namjoon could trust no one. You could only poke your tongue out at him, earning yourself a blissful smile. “Not at all.”

“Ew. Stop flirting - this isn’t about you, this is about the progress you’re doing.” Seokjin scoffs, making the latter silently giggle to themselves. He has absolutely no filter - nothing could get in the way of the man’s priorities. “Tell that to Yoongi.” His boyfriend was sitting right beside him - and poor him, because Yoongi has to be the strongest man to ever set foot on earth. He’s been dealing with Seokjin’s shit for over a good year or so now. 

“Believe me, I might just knock him out.”

“No way - who’s going to peel your tangerines for work then? Ungrateful imp.” 

Their bickering continues to produce light laughter from the lot of you until you decide it's about time you update each other on your progress. Surprisingly enough, Hoseok was much farther ahead than you all anticipated, and it earned you another fifteen minutes worth of competitive yelling between the youngest and the eldest.

But that was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Move it a little bit to the left," you instructed stringently, hands planted firmly on your hips as your boyfriend does whatever he's told. The tree jiggles with every waking movement, making Namjoon groan at the heavyweight it settles upon him. "Is this alright?" He mumbles tiredly, eyeing you from the depths of its branches.

You could only nibble on your lip, your eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Maybe a bit to the right."

Even when he's exhausted, even when he's sick and tired of turning a piece of mere decoration to countless directions, he doesn't complain. Namjoon wasn't exactly fond of religious festivities, but spending Christmas with you is always something he looks forward to. Setting the deal aside, it was always enjoyable bringing a little life to the house with someone he adores and his heart beats for. "Perfect! Could you grab the baubles? I'll get the ornaments."

Teamwork makes the dream work. An idiom he liked to say on the daily - it always worked between the two of you. Six hours worth of work put into four and the mess that bested every nook and cranny of your house now lessened. You hang the last bauble and sigh in content. "Doesn't it look pretty? I think this is our best one yet."

"Well, technically speaking, I couldn't expect any less from you, bun." His tone of voice resembles that of a young boy in love, his eyes sparkling under the colourful Christmas lights nestled comfortably in the tree's branches as he looks at you with a bashful smile. It's moments like these when you're so caught up in the things you do together, these blissful moments that you realise just how grateful you are for Namjoon. You love him, you love him so much. Nothing could be a better present than spending time with him. He's your bundle of pure euphoria.

"The tree's feeling a little bland, don't you think?"

It takes you a moment to take notice of what he actually meant before you feel extra weight added on top of your head. He teasingly hangs the finishing piece away from you, puckering his lips in hopes he'd earn himself something sweet in return for the star. You could only roll your eyes, but nonetheless, nothing stops you from latching your lips onto his and giving him your love.

Without hesitation, Namjoon scoops you up onto his shoulders, he guides you towards the crest of the tree and watches with bright eyes as you ecstatically plant the finale to the first phase of your decorating. Monnie scratches at the latter's legs in pure joy, barking at you both to signal his presence as well. It elicits laughter, and as Namjoon gently sets you back down, you let your fingers ruffle his fur as he licks at your face.

However, your hours upon hours of decorating doesn't end there, the tinsel messily spread underneath you is a clear indication of this.

With an exhausted huff, you look at Namjoon with hopeful eyes. There's still much to be done.

---

Looks tend to be deceiving when it comes to Kim Namjoon. People tended to deem him as a friendly giant, however, when it came to snowball fights, he was far from that. Like a devil crawling out the pits of hell.

The day you decide to pamper the outdoors of your house, snow starts dribbling from the skies above you. A miracle, because it’s never really snowed so early in December. 

You’re busy setting up mistletoe in front of your front door until you’re barreling forward from the force of something wet on your back. It couldn’t have been Mon - he was sleeping soundlessly inside. But your boyfriend wasn’t - instead, he was childishly running around the front lawn bearing snowballs. 

“Namjoon!” You shriek in utter disbelief, turning around only to face a devious grin. Pure evil dripped from him - Namjoon was no longer the soft bear who insisted you play with his hair. He was now a foe. “You’re going to pay for that!” As quickly as you could, you bear your own weaponry to pay back his foolish actions. 

His giggles echoed across the small space you’re in and before you could even comprehend what was happening, he was already aiming another shot at you. Unfortunately, you were too slow against him. 

Splat!

Three points for Kim Namjoon!

At your absolute suffering, his laughter only gets louder over Mariah Carey’s gorgeous singing coming from inside. “You’ll pay for this, you evil man!” However, your threats are only drowned out by his boisterous laughter. “I’d like to see you try!” 

And you do. Because while he’s busy laughing his ass off at your misery, you earn yourself the rightful chance to aim a snowball right into his face. Three points? You just scored a whole seven. 

He’s baffled - completely, utterly speechless at what’s happened. Well, you definitely weren’t going to stand there and let him conquer victory, he knew that for a fact. He just didn’t think you’d be so blunt. Now you’ve earned him a pink nose. But was he going to let you get away with it? No, Namjoon’s a Virgo. 

He charges towards you like a clumsy child. You almost screech in surprise, instead, busting out in fits of laughter as you tumble and trip away from him. “Hey-! Get back here!” He cries out, almost face-planting into a hefty pile of snow. That would’ve been outright hilarious. 

“Just try and catch me, big man!”

It’s light-hearted, it’s all lively and pleasant. You were both adults, but nothing stopped you from feeding into the fruits of life and feeling youthful sometimes. You both did it for the hell of it because you knew that with each other, you could be anything. 

You’re too busy laughing to actually take notice of where your feet were taking you, feigning into the mess beneath you and tripping in your own feet. A loud thud leaves your descent, and with that, your boyfriend tumbling down on top of you because he was too clumsy for his own good. It was cute, really. Namjoon lets out a terrified shriek, his arms landing just beside your head - luckily because you’re pretty sure you would’ve earned yourself a long-surviving black-eye. 

“Got you,” he says rather flusteredly. There’s a hint of panic in his eyes that almost seems as if he’s seen God himself. Had the fall really taken the piss out of him? 

“No,” you state, shaking your head as best as you can. “Technically speaking, I got you.” You place a quick kiss on his pretty pink nose just for good measure, because in truth, you really did get him. He was on three points while you were on a steady seven. Namjoon pulls his lips in a taut line ever so shyly, hiding the growing smile planting itself on his face. No longer was he your arch-nemesis - your boyfriend was back to being your friendly neighbourhood giant. “Shouldn’t we get back to decorating? I thought you wanted to beat the others.” Perhaps it slipped through his mind because the second those words slip through yours, he’s already hoisting himself up and pulling you along with him. Kim Namjoon does not give up in the face of competition, that much is clear, even when he’d previously been working off a snowball fight.

“I couldn’t help myself!” He defends nonetheless, his palm scratching shyly at his mess of a mane. “But now that I think about it, we can have as many snowball fights as we want when we kick ass. A win-win situation, if I do say so myself.”

A win-win situation indeed. 

When the boys call later on in the evening, it becomes clear that Namjoon was second in lead - Jimin taking first place. While the rest were busy taking things easily, he’d effortlessly managed to get things done in only a short matter of time. He definitely wasn’t there to play. 

“No way. You’re cheating!” Taehyung accuses, astonishment evident from the little you could see of his face. His lighting was absolute crap. Despite his belief, Jimin easily shakes off his accusation with a mischievous grin. “I don’t know Taehyung, maybe if you hadn’t been slacking off at Taco Bell you would’ve been catching up.” 

“Wha-! What a heathen - I’d choose Taco Bell over this any day!”

“How dare you! This is Christmas decorating you red-headed scoundrel!”

“This isn’t about you Seokjin!”

“Might as well be,” Yoongi mumbles from beside him, lazily scrolling through his phone as a yawn escapes his lips. You might just think he’s aged by a couple of years because of this ordeal. “You’re all complete losers,” Jungkook comments, face completely mushed against his phone as he nibbles on whatever was in front of him. The kid feared absolutely nothing - the wrath of a butthurt Kim Seokjin wasn’t any different.

Namjoon squints at his phone. He clearly wasn’t wearing his glasses, nor his contact lenses, and you knew he’d face the consequences later on. You’ve spent countless days by his side tending to his colossal headache. “Are you… Are you eating raw pop tarts?”

“Yes.”

“Raw. Aren’t you supposed to toast them?” There’s confusion laced in his tone, and in between, intense fear. “That’s like, a felony.”

Jungkook lets out a scandalised gasp. “No way! I’m not letting this piece of divine heaven be tainted by modern technology! I don’t even have a toaster, and there’s no way in hell I’m touching the microwave.”

Hoseok snickers. “He thinks it’s going to explode.”

“Don’t test me! I know the evil that sits within that thing.” 

As complex at it was, you’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no explaining what these men are made out of. They’re simply built differently. In fact, you’ve grown out of trying to comprehend them, because you could be on your death-bed and they’d still be saying and doing things that would make you sigh and shake your head. 

---

Alas, the day has come, and so have the boys, who just wouldn’t stop rambunctiously banging on your door. You’re busy setting up the table, Mon at your feet wagging his tail excitedly. “Namjoon!” You call out, balancing a few plates on the palms of your hands. “Namjoon! Could you get the door?”

However, as much as you yell, Namjoon doesn’t respond. You suppose it’s because he hasn’t come back from wherever he had gone earlier during the day. Odd. 

Nonetheless, you set a few plates down on the dining table, hurriedly skipping over to your front door only to be trampled by none other than your special guests for the night. “Finally!” A rather over-dramatic Seokjin sighs, patting away the invisible sweat dripping down his forehead. “Waiting for you to open was like running a marathon. I swear!” 

You could only laugh as Jimin pulls you in for an embrace - it was in his habits to do so whenever he saw you. It’s not as if you mind, his hugs were by far the best you’ve felt. They were full of love and warmth, something that perfectly describes the man himself. “Don’t mind him,” he tells you, rolling his eyes at the dramatics his friend was making. “He really needed to piss.” 

“Sorry for taking so long - Namjoon hasn’t gotten back home from this morning.” 

“He hasn’t?” Yoongi neatly sets his shoes by the door, unwrapping a thick scarf from his neck, dangling it on your coat hanger. “That’s pretty unusual, he doesn’t like being out in cold weather.” 

“He probably got into some traffic,” you assume, “Hopefully he’ll be back soon. Until then, make yourselves at home. We’ll order take-out soon!”

All of you were like a proper family when it came to celebrating Christmas. Each year, sleepovers are taken in turns going from eldest to youngest. This year just so happens to be Namjoon’s turn - it’s not as if you mind, the house seems more lively when they’re around. They had that thing about them, that wherever they went they tended to make things brighter. Not once have you felt gloomy or perhaps left out. The seven of them all had qualities in contrast to one another, all showing you different ways of happiness. You’re lucky to say you have them in your life.

The wait for Namjoon continues. You all settle with playing board games, for the time being, the living room turning into a whole battleground because Yoongi can’t go by without cheating once in a while. He was really cunning, you could see Taehyung trying to pick up on his tricks. 

“Uno!” Jimin yells, shoving a proud middle finger in Seokjin’s face. The man could faint from the amount of disrespect he was receiving. “Try beating that, old man.” 

“I’ll tell you I’m more than an old man! I want a rematch. You’re all cheats, all of you.”

“You’re just a sore loser.” Jungkook was on thin ice. His nitpicking on Seokjin was getting him nowhere but pure, utter hell while he was sleeping. You admire his courage - he was fucking insane. “Sore losers don’t win, old man.” 

Seokjin almost gets up to throttle him for his constant bullying when the door swings open and you’re all met by layers upon layers of clothing stomping inside. He’s carrying a bunch of bags you can’t seem to decipher, and you could see his nose poking out from his scarf. 

Finally, Namjoon’s back home. 

“Hey __, I’m back. I’m sorry I took so-” 

“Joon, you idiot!” Before you could even bat an eye, Taehyung and Hoseok were on the man like hungry beasts. He was already eaten up by whatever garments he was wearing, the only pieces missing were the duo for him to finally disappear. “What took you so long? We were worried sick! Jimin can’t DJ for the life of him.” 

“Hey-!”

You hoist yourself up and dust off whatever remnants of gingerbread cookies were left on you. All the concern that had been building up over time of Namjoon not being home had now diminished. Sudden relief washes over you because you hadn’t really noticed how worried sick you’ve been until he’d stepped into the house. Namjoon can be really impulsive sometimes. 

“Joon,” He wraps his arms around your smaller figure and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Where have you been? Had me really worried for a second there.”

There’s this cheeky look in his face that makes you swoon. He’s so lovely, in all his ways, you just can’t help but be filled with so much love. You love him. 

“I kind of… I kind of forgot to pick your present up. Sorry - Didn’t want to worry you, just a clumsy move.” 

He’s all you’ve ever imagined. 

“Get over here you two - we’re ordering take-out!” Your little moment is easily interrupted by the guys hollering you over, to which you oblige because you wouldn’t want to waste another second. You could hear Namjoon’s stomach grumbling a bit. “Have I been out for that long?” He queries, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “Dummy, it’s six in the afternoon. It’s already dark.” 

“Well, I’m finally back home now, right where I need to be.” 

You don’t notice it, but there’s a little mistletoe just above your heads. And Namjoon knows this because he points up towards it with mirth laced in his pretty eyes and a pretty smile. “Merry Christmas,” he tells you before he leans in and gives you what you rightfully deserve.

[mellowmoonballoon]

P8 of the Primer - Jeongin

I.N, Baby Bread and Fennec Fox are his main nicknames. The latter two because he said he looks like both the fox and the bread and I don’t want to judge anyone’s perception of self but how both? 

He is somehow both of these people. I know, it’s very upsetting.

He is primarily a singer. But of course he also raps and dances. (*Imma try to remember to talk a bit more about the producing thing too.)

He is the youngest of the group and he is babied to death by skz.

They want to hug him. As Minho’s protege in the skillful art of being a tsundere he would prefer they didn’t hug him like... at least 6 times out of 10.

Seungmin’s face. “Another fucking day...”

(Yes that is Minho bothering him. I don’t know how it works either, ssh.)

But like, the 4 out of 10 other times are really good.

So 2 things (with subcategories lol) I have observed about this, because it kinda bugs me when people don’t want to be touched but are? 1: a) he knows how to remove them when he’s really annoyed but I’m sure he does get his share of unwanted touches.

b) he seems to really hate neck touches in particular and has spoken about it and they seem to be doing way better about that at least.

which gave us Chan loosening his choker when he had to wear one and was too tight, no i’m not over it thanks for asking.

c) I kinda feel like this is why he’s so close with Hyunjin (among other things I’m sure, I just feel like he doesn’t try to stab him quite as often) because Hyunjin is less likely to just grab him, because that’s not really his personality. Hyunjin is more likely to...

and 2. I’m not pretending to be expert in kpop or idol culture here and sorry to quote another band here lol but youtube recced me something that intrigued me so i listened to a bts song that featured these lyrics about maknae (the youngest in the band): “My name is Jeon Jungkook, my other name is maknae; Then I should be doing aegyo, as a 9th grader should“ and I kinda did SOME digging, not much because I don’t like being annoyed, and I realized there are like, expectations. And roles. And what band does in the privacy of their own dorm is one thing but you can’t escape expectations when you’re outside or giving interviews etc etc. It doesn’t help that Jeongin WAS super young when he joined the band, that he’s the only 01 liner in this group and while I WANT to handwave it and say “ah they love him” I think for him it felt like he had to earn his place and it wasn’t easy or handwavy.

But ok, out of the hole and into the sun. Regarding his actual singing and rapping abilities he HAS gotten so much better. LIKE SO MUCH BETTER. LIKE.

A quick sidenote about his voice - I LOVE IT?! It’s not as overtly sweet as Seungmin’s, yes, but it’s still soft and I just love the way he pronounces some sounds. Listen if I had to get emotional about it I could compare it to a cool stream but I don’t so I won’t.

*Anyway, to try and talk a bit about producing/writing, making songs, basically. In 2 kids song he told CB that he never wrote a song before. Idk when 2KS was recorded but it came out 6 months ago so Maknae on Top must have been in the works by that point. But, on MoT he’s credited on both music and lyrics. Maybe that happened after 2ks? Maybe he felt more ready after CB led him through the whole process? (You’ll never be able to convince me otherwise so what does it matter :D ) Chan was, from what I remember, the one who asked I.N to make this song together, for I.N’s birthday?

So let’s talk about Maknae on Top and how it relates to the hole we were in just a few paragraphs ago. In 2019 Chan spoiled a bunch of songs on his computer and he promised he’d release most of them at some point. So far he has kept his word even when we gave up :D Maknae on Top was one of those songs and frankly it sounded kinda funny and memey. And it IS kinda funny and memey. But it’s also fire, like, I know it’s not breaking YT records for music and videos but considering how it dropped and how quickly the views grew... well. Anyway. It’s an amazing song.

It also features Chan, the oldest and the leader, and Changbin, one of the hyungs, carrying I.N around, cleaning his shoes, basically being his lackeys, as he addresses them without honorifics and sings about being on top. 

I mean, this is a picture of skz’s souls leaving their bodies the last time he dropped honorifics in public. Now he did it for 2m people on youtube alone and CB applauded him for it.

It’s not going to change the industry or shake the planet, but it’s one of those small things skz does that just pushes against established roles and boundaries that make me happy. And also, it’s one of those I.N things that shows how much they do respect him and want to see him thrive and are there for him. 

Yeah so listen to Maknae on Top it’s so much fun.

As far as actually childish things he does, he has started calling everyone ugly. Seungmin is trying to train him out of it but it’s hard work when the other kids keep encouraging him.

I.N’s hobbies include 1. being a grumpy grandfather (but now with tits out, we all know this is Chan’s fault, right?).

Same, Seungmin, Same.

(He listens to a lot of Trot, old people Kpop, and I have a vague memory of him saying he spent a lot of time with his grandparents as a kid which - one grandparent-influenced kid to another - it shows.) I wanted to say some day I will post an actual SKZ song in one of these primers but then I remembered this was the last one D:

2. Asking to be loved but then pushing everyone away “haha i do that.vine”

3. He used to keep things in, then his mom was like: “stop that” and worked on the problem and now he’s broken through to the other side :D

I think this was the line they were given to discuss, and ALSO the expected role of the maknae tbh, to amuse everyone and be cute.

But:

Maknae on top...

He turns to Hyunjin and Changbin a lot! Which is why I do like that there are so many of them with such different personalities. You don’t have to love everyone equally but you can find someone who will be there for you.

4. Being clumsy

But actually, they all talk to each other about their problems a lot and they are all really good listeners.

Just a bunch of good eggs in that carton.

Le gasp! This concludes the tsundere line and the primer! Woo! I’m sure I forgot a million things. But that’s what editing and adding is for!

Bang Chan - Minho - Changbin - Hyunjin - Han - Felix and Felix2 - Seungmin - Jeongin

[heathered-beinn]

BTS American Hustle Life Ep8

Episode 7 recap:

It started with a basketball game; Tony, Jungkook, Jimin, and J-Hope VS Nate, Suga, V, and Jin. Tony’s team won by a point and the punishment was Nate’s team had to buy ice cream for everyone. The next day BTS were dragged out of their beds and sent away to experience ‘working for a living’. RM and Suga joined housekeeping in a hotel, Jimin and Jungkook went to an airfield where they had to clean workshops and planes, Suga, V, and Jin ended up on a yacht and had to clean, polish, and varnish it ready for an event. At the working day they got ‘paid’ and Tony told them they were going to use the money to buy food for people on Skid Row.

While the end was a really good lesson in ‘giving back’ the rest of the episode was not so good viewing. IMO they really wasted an opportunity by not telling BTS that they were going to work – if they had they probably wouldn’t have treated it like a game. If they had taken it more seriously then it would really have put the “earning money” and “giving back” aspects into proper perspective. But it was what is was.

Anyway on to the final episode!

So BTS are getting dragged out of bed again. Did they get any decent sleep this trip? Poor V – he’s been the hardest to get out of bed each time lol.

So their last challenge is to create the best hip hop performance they can using their learned skills.

As a band they set to work on their lyrics for regulate – I’m pretty sure they don’t normally work on lyrics altogether – too many cooks spoil the broth etc - so this maybe made it harder for them. LMAO at V who wanted to include an audience aspect with, “I say V, you say The Best” and RM saying if they weren’t on camera he would have cussed him. LOL the sass and confidence of JK putting a hand across his hyung’s (Suga’s) mouth.

So Suga and RM are in charge (by rights of earning the most money last ep). Suga gives Jin and J-Hope the task of printing hand-outs, while Jimin, V, and Jungkook (the Maknae Line!) are to hand them out and promote the show.

Lol at Jungkook’s method of handing out flyers

Why do I think these were the worst three to promote anything *crying with laughter emoji*. Haha V ends up being shyer than Jungkook.

In fact, Jungkook does rather well with the promotion!

I like the little bit of behind the scenes where they clap to indicate the cameras are rolling. Jungkook really got into it lol. They clearly did other promotion for the show (and relied on their already established international fans?) because I’m calling it out that that amount of people were not the skills of Jimin, V, and, Jungkook on the street lol.

I wonder how nervous BTS really felt about shows at this point. It’s 2014 and they’ve played in quite a few shows at this point and I think been on TV? They have even been to Japan. So they were new but not that new? No doubt there will always be some nerves ahead of a show, it’s only natural, but there’s a difference between feeling antsy and feeling ill. I wonder who out of all the band had the worst nerves and who had the least nerves and why. Questions questions.

So this is really my first time seeing them perform on stage, concert style. I’ve never been much of a fan of rap but I actually quite enjoyed their music – they have some great choruses that you can’t help singing along to. What else can I say? They are well styled. Their performance is polished. Everyone sings confidently. Suga is really good at rapping. Their dancing is on point. They are a great band and it is clear why they made it.

I’m impressed at Jungkook’s stage presence – he’s confident and one of the lead vocals despite being quite shy behind the scenes. Also, I noted Jimin has some versatility to his voice! I thought he was mainly the “high vocal” of the group but I saw one bit in that concert where he had a strong middle range. I’d be interested to see him rapping.

Regulate: Turned out pretty nicely, guys! The dance challenge: Ah ha ha ha actually it was quite fun to watch. I be the audience were like ????? though lol

RM and Jimin killed their bboying. RM needs extra kudos for his efforts.

LOL, Jin and J-Hope tried with their beatboxing – lovely of Fraahz to join them on stage.

OMG Suga, V, and Jungkook’s ‘Oh Happy Day’ was great! It was polished and Jungkook, what a marvellous tone you have – he made all the notes, just cracking!!! <3

All in all, it’s clear the lads have a lot of fun on stage and it’s lovely to see their confidence shine. “Same love” was, again, polished and full of high energy, and so was “No More Dream”, it’s easy to see why BTS made it so big. They have great stage presence, their music is interesting, their performances are energetic, their personalities are fun and engaging, they all seem to really care about each other and are not afraid to show affection (which is a wonderful Korean charm), they work hard, they are polite and friendly, and they seem to have a lot of fun which means we have a lot of fun. They tick pretty much every box for success – well deserved success.

So it’s the last day and they are all packing up. They say some really nice things to Tony and Nate. It’s clear they all got on well and that the two gentlemen made it easier for the band to enjoy their time. Perhaps RM was the most honest when he said there was a lot of hardwork. I think there probably was – more than the camera showed. There was probably some home sickness in the mix as well - 21 days in a foreign country and not able to speak the language must have been quite hard.

 Overall Series Musings.

 I’m not going to lie, there were some seriously cringy moments in this series and a lot of episodes I wouldn’t care to re-watch because of that. However, there were some absolutely magical moments too and some comedy gold. We got to see more of the lads’ personalities and they are thoroughly delightful; all seven of them are fun, playful, affectionate, decent, energetic, interesting, polite, charming, sassy, talented yet beautifully flawed, awkward and just perfectly human. The list is really endless, and I know I’ve fallen even more in love with them because of it. I can certainly see why they won the world over.

Things I have learned and/or observed about the members thus far: Jin is not a natural dancer but if he’s motivated – like when he didn’t want to let J-Hope down – he will work his butt off and his hard work really shows in the end. He’s quite awkward at times and that spills into some of his craft. We learned he had been working towards a career in acting before BTS and that he has a brother who is into hip hop. As the band is so busy he hasn’t even seen the families’ new house. His role in BTS at this point seems to be a bit of parent figure for the younger members.

Suga is quite nervous of woman – like unexpectedly so – worse than Jungkook! I don’t know why this surprised me so much. Does this nervousness around women mean anything? No. Not on it’s own. I’ve just filed it away in my brain in case there is anything else that might connect to it at a later date. Anyway, what else did we learn about Suga? He’s a hard worker and a kind of ‘just gets on with it’ guy. He has a nice affinity with the younger ones, which was a little absent in previous series. This time he spent a lot of time with V and Jungkook and he was pretty soft and indulgent of them. It was lovely to see. His roles in the band are lead rapper and a song writer.  

J-Hope is a literal ball of sunshine. He is also a seriously talented dancer and I was a little taken aback that the band considered him their strongest dancer – that never came across in Carpool Karaoke. He admitted that as a trainee he had felt quite remote from the band as everyone else was a rapper, although I wonder if this was before Jimin joined? J-Hope is really quite talented all round – doing really well with all the challenges – except basketball. His roles in the band are lead dancer and the positivity/glue guy.

RM was RM. I don’t feel we learned as much about him as we did the others. Don’t get me wrong, he was front and centre but I didn’t feel we got to go too deep with him – either that or we’ve learned a lot about him already and there was little new. What did come across is that he is under a lot of pressure and that he cares what other’s think of him. He also wants to care less about what others think of him. His role is still as leader of the band.

Jimin is simply a lovable little ball of energy and laughter. Supposedly he has a temper but even when he’s ‘supposedly mad’ he is laughing about it. It’s hard to talk that seriously. Even the tutor, Tony, fell a little in love with Chim Chim. What else did we learn about Jimin? Well he was definitely calmer than in previous series – although he was still plenty loud. What really came through is that he is a hard worker and can knuckle down. His role is main dancer, high vocals, and comic relief.

V is… a lot of things. He’s overly affectionate at times, wonderfully weird, very random, a little spacey, not always the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to certain things, surprising shy in some situations, and a bit of a sensitive soul. Quite frankly I have a real soft spot for this goofball. His role is a little less obvious but I’m thinking low vocals, face of the band, and the mystery guy.

Jungkook, the maknae, is growing – both literally (I swear he grew several inches between ep1 and ep8 alone and is constantly hungry) and figuratively (his personality is blossoming). He has come out of his shell somewhat – still shy (and nervous of woman) at times – but also surprisingly brave in other situations and growing quite sassy. I think he is more comfortable behind the camera rather in front of it and I hope he gets the chance to be creative with that in the future. His role is main vocalist.

Band relations:      

Some of the musings I made in previous series have been proven right while there are many that I perhaps read too much into. We really started to see the inner friendships more in this series so that has helped put behaviours into better perspective. I think J-Hope and Jin are really tight, they spent a lot of time together and had an ease of two people that had known each other for years. They clearly have a close brotherly bond and it’s just lovely to see. Suga, to my surprise, spent a lot of time with the younger ones in this series and he really indulged them. In fact, he did a great job looking after them and played on their level in a way that made it easy to forget he is their hyung. My new observation for him is that he maybe doesn’t care too much for convention? He is unapologetically him and that’s that, which I take my hat off to. RM and Jimin made a surprisingly great unit – RM is really good with Jimin, even if his (lack) of dancing skills frustrates the younger one at times. RM respects everyone and he gives people time, which I think Jimin needs? Also, I think they get on particularly well because they are quite similar in work ethics and principles. Towards the end we saw Jimin partnered with Jungkook. I can’t put my finger yet on a proper description for their bond. They are certainly comfortable around each other – and get on well and hang out a lot - but they don’t have the same ‘brotherly vibe’ as say RM and Jimin. Jungkook also treats Jimin more like he’s the same age as him. I wouldn’t say he’s disrespectful but there is a lot of teasing and a noticeable lack of honorific behaviour. I also can’t explain why but their bond has not got the same feel as Jungkook’s and V’s relationship, in which Jungkook also treats V as though they are the same age. However, there is a notable warm brotherly vibe between V and Jungkook and certainly more obvious respect from Jungkook’s side. I don’t know... Maybe it’s just the way the programme was edited or maybe I’m talking out my *** I just get frustrated when I can’t explain something. I suppose it didn’t help that Carpool Karaoke didn’t show much of their individual bonds in later life. I guess I’ll find out as we go along whether Jimin and Jungkook have a really close but unique bond or whether they are secret enemies lol.

 ******************************************************************************

The next programme on my list is BTS Go! According to Wiki, this seems to be from 2014 too. However, I recently came across the existence of the BTS Youtube channel where they have hundreds of videos from backstage dating back to 2013! What I think I will do is watch and muse over BTS Go first and then watch all the videos up to the end of 2014 on their Youtube account and then muse over what I see there and what I’ve seen in the tv programmes so far. I expect their personalities and bonds are more candid in the behind the scenes videos so I’m looking forward to seeing those in particular.      

[borathae]

↳ Index [#05 Act Five: Friends]

Warnings: none unless you count the fluffiest feels ever as dangerous lmao

Wordcount: 7.8k

Just like you had figured, you don't see Yoongi for the rest of the week. Waiting for him on the bridge when the sun rises and later when the moon shines above your head has become a daily thing for you. He never shows up. You soon give up running down to the bakery at exactly seven twenty in hopes of bumping into him as Yoongi never shows his face in the cozy bakery again. Walking down the hallways of the school soon changes, now you are walking down the hallways when students are scurrying about and the sun still shines high above your head instead of sharing silence with the night. 

You lock your phone after having changed the song from one of Debussy's sonatas to your new favourite song. You don't need to listen to the play of someone else and be constantly reminded of what you had destroyed. You flinch at the sudden feeling of someone tapping your shoulder. You turn around with held breath. Is it perhaps Yoongi, who has decided to finally talk to you again? 

"Hello ___", Taehyung greets you with a bright boxy smile. 

"Hello Taehyung", you retort, feeling just the slightest bit disappointed. You had really hoped for him to be Yoongi.

"How has your day been up until now?" he asks, still as brightly as ever.

He has a funny way of wording things, so utterly unique, just like him. 

"It was fine, thanks for asking. How about you?" 

"Oh well, you know, quite unexciting really, but I didn't come here to have small talk with you. Of course we can still have small talk if you want to." 

You chuckle. 

"But the actual reason I wanted to talk to you is Yoongi." 

Your smile drops, your body tenses. 

"I talked to him." 

Your heart starts to race, swallowing gets hard. 

"And? Don't leave me hanging like this." 

Taehyung snorts at your impatience.

"Well, I have good and bad news for you. Which one do you want to hear first?" 

"I don't know. The bad one?" 

"Uuhm, okay so", Taehyung clears his throat, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, "do you perhaps want to sit down?"

He points at a bench just a few steps away from you. Your heartbeat quickens even more, your hands trembling. 

"S-sure?" 

The two of you sit down. Your nervousness gets worse, now that you are sitting next to him and wait for the bad news. Does Taehyung assume you will break down once you hear them? Are they actually that bad? 

Taehyung clears his throat again to get your attention. You look at him with big eyes, he looks tense. 

"I, I couldn't-", he sighs in frustration, "he didn't promise me that he will start playing again." 

Your heart feels like it had dropped straight down onto the floor, leaving you empty and aching. This is exactly what you didn't want to happen. 

"And, and the good news?" you ask weakly. 

Taehyung scoffs as if your question had reminded him of something, which had made him laugh before. 

"The good news is that he actually heard me out. He neither closed the door on me nor did he tell him to leave him alone, which is great. So there is like a thirty percent chance that he will think about my words and start playing again." 

You let out a sigh of relief you hadn't even realized you had held in. So not all is lost yet, there is still hope for everything to return to normal again. 

"This is good, right?" 

Taehyung nods, smiling. 

"It is good, Yoongi may seem like he doesn't listen to you or that he doesn't care, but deep down he takes in every single word you tell him and actually thinks about them. So this is good news." 

Taehyung sighs in content and relaxes on the bench, stretching out his long arms on the length of the backrest. They reach past you, but Taehyung sits far enough away from you that you know he doesn't mean it in a flirty way. It is just his way of relaxing. 

"Thank you Taehyung, I really mean it. I was so scared that I ruined something beautiful and you were able to actually talk to him. Thank you", you say honestly. 

Taehyung turns his head, looking at you. His eyes sparkle in the orange street lights, his dark hair seems even darker, his golden skin more golden. 

"Don't mention it", he seems shy in the way his eyes flit to the ground for just a moment. "I want Yoongi to start playing again just as much as you do." 

"I can imagine, you must miss listening to him."

"What? Me? Listening to him?"

Taehyung laughs loudly, shaking his head no. 

"I have never listened to him before, he never let me even if I asked nicely." 

Your eyes grow big. 

"You never listened to him before? But aren't you friends?" you gasp.

Taehyung shrugs his shoulders. 

"Yeah we are, but I don't think Yoongi trusts me enough to actually allow me to listen to him. You have to understand him ___, it's surely not easy constantly having to feel like he does." 

"Yeah, I can imagine", you don't dare to say more, frankly feeling lost for the right words. Poor Yoongi.

Taehyung studies your face for a moment, biting his lip in contemplation.

“Hey ___, don’t be sad right now”, he taps your shoulder brotherly, “Everything will turn out alright, I promise.”

You look at him, feeling hopeless. His eyes however sparkle in hopefulness.

“Just give him some time and I am sure he will start playing again”, he tells you, now fully holding onto your shoulder, shaking you softly.

His comfort feels nice, relaxing your tense muscles.

“I hope so”, you mumble, lowering your head.

Jimin groans in frustration, letting himself fall down on one of the chairs. He brushes his hair out of his face, staring at Jungkook with empty eyes.

“How often do I need to tell you not to interrupt me when I’m singing the last line? It’s annoying and you overshadow my high note with your ad-libs”, he whines, letting his head fall back to showcase his frustration.

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t help it. I just think my ad-libs give that line more emotion. Your high note is nice yeah, but something is missing”, Jungkook defends himself.

Jimin sends Jungkook an annoyed glare, rolling his eyes afterwards.

The three of you have signed up for a group vocal competition and it seemed like a great idea in the beginning. You knew your voices would go perfect together from the many improvised sessions down by the pond, but actual practice turned out to be completely different. Bickering seems to be your constant companion, there was always someone who wasn’t happy with how the song turns out. Right now Jimin is quite upset about Jungkook’s constant ad-libs, wanting to shine for a change.

“You are such an attention seeker do you know that?” he growls.

“I’m an attention seeker? Says the person who practically has a whole praise kink”, Jungkook retorts.

Jimin gasps, holding his hand over his heart as if hurt deeply by Jungkook’s words.

“What’s so wrong with liking praise?”

You step between them all of a sudden, raising your hands.

“Alright, as much fun watching you bicker is, we have things to do. The competition is in one month and we still have a long way to go, so can you two please quit it and concentrate?” you say.

“But he always interrupts me”, Jimin whines, pouting.

“Yeah? Because it sounds better that way”, Jungkook growls, stepping closer to you and Jimin.

You stop him from towering over Jimin with a firm hand on his chest, sending him a warning glare.

“Kookie don’t, please”, you say sternly.

Jungkook closes his mouth, swallowing down the complaint he had wanted to throw at your head. He avoids looking into your eyes, staring into Jimin’s instead.

“I’m sorry ___”, he mumbles.

“I’m not the one you should apologize to.”

Jungkook sighs in frustration.

“I’m sorry Jimin”, he mumbles.

Jimin grins triumphantly, glowing in happiness over his win. That is until you send him a warning glare, reminding him to do the same to Jungkook.

Jimin raises his eyebrow, shaking his head. Your glare grows colder, making Jimin swallow.

“And I’m sorry too, Jungkook”, he finally murmurs with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Great”, you clap your hands, “now that you two are acting like adults again, how about we try to find a solution for everything?” you suggest, walking to a chair and sitting down on it.

Jungkook follows your action, sitting down next to you.

“What do you have in mind?” Jimin asks, perking an eyebrow.

“Okay, so I have to say Jungkook is right, ad-libs really do add to the emotion of the line.”

Jimin groans, Jungkook grins.

“But I also think it is important that Jimin gets his time to shine. His falsetto is beautiful, we shouldn’t overshadow it.”

Now Jimin grins, Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“So how about we sing the first chorus without Jungkook’s ad-libs and in the second chorus Jungkook sings his ad-libs. By doing that we add suspense, you know the audience won’t expect the song to get even more emotional after already crying from Jimin’s beautiful high note and then BAM! the ad-libs come and the audience will lose it. Just imagine it.”

Jimin and Jungkook had listened to you intently, nodding their heads and humming in approval.

“We could make the song even more emotional by doing that”, Jimin mumbles, scratching his chin.

“Yeah exactly, the audience won’t expect it and will be blown away”, you say.

“This sounds like a good plan actually”, Jungkook murmurs nodding, “I like it, I really do.”

“Yeah I like it too”, Jimin agrees.

You smile triumphantly, patting both of their thighs.

“Great, I’m glad I could help”, you say.

You stand up from the chair.

“You ready to practice again?” you ask.

Jungkook stands up, nodding.

“I am, let’s do this”, he says, making you scoff in amusement.

Jimin stands up, resting his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. He gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Me too, let’s get to work. I feel so energized.”

You practice until the sun had disappeared behind the forest and the hallways became empty. Only when Jungkook’s voice cracks for the fifth time in a row and Jimin can’t seem to hit the high note, you know that practice is over for tonight. You clean up, write down your names on the list and leave the practice room, feeling totally accomplished.

“I need to drink some honey tea at home”, you say, rubbing your tired throat.

“Yeah me too, this was such a great session”, Jungkook says before taking a big sip of his water.

“I didn’t even notice that the sun has gone down already”, Jimin says, shuddering all of a sudden, “god, these hallways give me the creeps”, he whispers, looking around with scared eyes.

It is the first time you are with them at this late hour, normally it would have just been you walking down the hallways with Yoongi’s music accompanying you. But tonight Jimin and Jungkook were your company and as always the night is silent. The practice room seems to be empty when you pass it, despite the door being open. Someone must have forgotten to close it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you if someone decides to attack us with knives”, Jungkook says, throwing an arm around Jimin’s shoulder.

“Why would you say that?” Jimin whines, hitting Jungkook’s chest.

You laugh at their banter, despite your heart aching to hear to familiar melodies of Yoongi. You cross the corner, the staircase is already in sight, a street lamp shines directly onto it.

“I hate this so much, it’s so creepy. If a ghost attacks us I’ll literally cry”, Jimin whispers.

“Sure because there is such a thing as gho-“, Jungkook starts only to choke on his words.

Suddenly as if the universe had heard your prayers a single piano note rings through the hallways. Another note follows, louder than before. The three of you stop, listening with held breath.

“Holy shit there is someone here”, Jimin whispers, clutching onto Jungkook’s arm.

“Okay what the hell?” Jungkook murmurs, seeming panicky himself.

“This is not how I’ll die, oh my god, oh god”, Jimin pants, hiding his face in Jungkook’s sweater.

You however can’t hide your smile, your heart starting to race in your chest. As if a spark had lit a candle, the hallway starts to glow around you in the warm, familiar light you had missed so much. A melody, one you had never heard before, spins its invisible thread to your heart, connecting the parts that were broken. Light, you feel light, like flying on a cloud above high mountains and green valleys. Home, this feels like home. 

“This can’t be”, you breathe.

Jungkook and Jimin look at you, surprised.

Your whole body feels like it is burning, your heart races in your chest, butterflies dance in your stomach. There is only one person who could make you feel like that, whose music could make you feel invincible. 

Yoongi. 

“I need to go”, you say, not even hiding the sob that follows.

You turn on your heels, running down the hallways back to the piano room, abandoning a baffled Jimin and an equally surprised Jungkook.

Yoongi actually listened to Taehyung! Despite never promising anything, he kept his word! You feel a hot tear roll down your cheek. He is back, he is playing again. Another tear rolls down your cheek. You feel so happy. So, so happy.

With held breath you step through the threshold of the piano room, gazing at the black haired pianist. He is just as beautiful as you remember him to be. His hair, as dark as the night sky, hangs into his face, covering his eyebrows. His hood he has pulled back, exposing all of his delicate features. His cheeks glow underneath the white moonlight, not an ounce of his endearing rosy blush is currently on them. Your heart does somersaults in your chest at this point, your finger shaking with the desire to trace his cute button nose and his doll-like lips. You missed this so much, it's ridiculous.

You don't move closer however, clearing your throat instead. Nothing, Yoongi’s eyes stay closed and his fingers keep moving over the keys. You already feel bad for stopping him, he plays as beautifully as ever. The notes seem to dance around him, singing him the most beautiful lullaby ever. How come you have never heard this melody before? Did Yoongi think of it? It almost seems like he did. What must he be feeling right now? The melody seems sad, as if it yearns for something to come and relieve its pain. Your chest feels heavy, the melody makes you feel all the heartache he must be thinking of right now. 

You need to reach out to him, tell him that everything will be okay. Even if this means having to stop him.  

You break the distance between the two of you, tiptoeing to the piano. Your eyes land on his face, your breath catching in your throat. He looks even more beautiful up close, now that he isn’t overcome by nerves and hides his face underneath a hood. His lashes are long, resting against his fair skin. His lips are a beautiful rosy shade, it almost looks like he is wearing lipstick. Pretty.

God you feel awful having to stop him and ruin this moment.

“Yoongi?” you say.

Yoongi flinches, his fingers slip off the keys, a shrill note rings through the room. He looks up and looks away again in an instance, getting shy.

“You again”, he sounds small.

"Yeah", you scratch your neck awkwardly, "I know I'm not supposed to be here and I promise I didn't lurk outside the door or anything."

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, just keeps on staring at his sheet music in embarrassment from getting caught playing.

"But I just needed to tell you that I'm so happy to hear you play again." 

Yoongi looks up for the briefest of moments. 

"I'm glad that you didn't give up, I really am." 

Yoongi nods his head, clenching his hands into fists. 

"Oh and also I never had the courage to tell you, but I think your play is really amazing. That song you just played? It was one of the most beautiful pieces I have ever heard." 

Yoongi looks at you from the corners of his eyes. His lips start to twitch. Is he trying to hide his smile right now? You feel hopeful, maybe you finally got through to him.

“It’s not, not r-really, b-but thank you”, he murmurs.

He is holding his own hand, clutching onto it for support. 

“Well, I think it’s beautiful. You really have a talent for making the music seem so alive. You don’t just play it like the sheet music tells you to, you give it emotion, a character, its own voice.”

This time around Yoongi can’t hide his smile, his lips twitch up just the slightest bit. His cheeks become the beautiful rosy shade you had missed so much. His eyes almost seem to sparkle as if stars were dancing in them.

“Y-you think so?”

You nod your head and send him a reassuring smile.

"I do, I really do. I felt so sad whilst listening to it, like I needed nothing more on this world than a warm hug." 

Yoongi tenses up, his hands clench into fists. His head lowers, his eyebrows creasing. You swallow down the words you had wanted to say, watching him with worried eyes. He looks so heartbroken.

Yoongi takes his sheet music, pressing it to his chest, before he stumbles to his feet. He is running away again. This is not good. He circles the piano, walking to the opened door in big steps. Silly you has done it again.

“No, wait! I’m sorry if I said something that made you uncomfortable”, you say rushing after him, “Please don’t go. Please”, you plead, reaching for his arm only to grab air when he suddenly turns around. 

He looks directly into your eyes, despite his nerves killing him and his mind telling him to just run away again. But something stops him, as if an invisible string was tugging at his heart, pulling him closer and closer to you. He can't seem to run away, even if he tried to. 

“W-why are y-you so ni-nice to me?” he is fidgeting with his sheet music.

“Because you look like someone, who could need a friend.”

Yoongi blinks rapidly.

“A frie-“, Yoongi doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before he needs to take a shaky breath.

“Yes, a friend, someone you can lean on. And if you want me to I would love to be that person for you”, you send him an honest smile.

You take a step closer to him, holding your breath. Yoongi’s eyes race between yours, he is gnawing on his lower lips, his whole face burning up. His heavy breathing and your racing heart is the only thing you can hear in the quiet room. Despite the darkness of the night, you can still see each other clearly, as if something magical was illuminating him and you. The air feels tense, suffocating you.

“I-I don’t know, m-maybe”, his voice is hushed breaking the silence. 

Your mouth falls open, your eyes grow big.

"Wait. Really?" you gasp. 

Yoongi locks eyes with you again, they sparkle even more than before. He nods his head yes. 

Warmth like that of a summer’s sun floods your chest, filling the rest of your body with happiness.

“Great”, your voice cracks like the giddy idiot you are. You clear your throat, “So that’s settled. I’m ___ by the way”, you close the remaining distance between you and him and stretch out your hand.

Yoongi stares at it for a moment not daring to move. He doesn’t accept it, instead he bows at you, bending his upper body to ninety degree.

“Yoongi", he says, smiling softly once he looks up.

You take a deep breath, turning to the lecture hall. This is going to be the first time you are going to see Yoongi after you officially decided to be friends. You haven't been able to talk a lot after that night, you were too busy practicing with Jimin and Jungkook and Yoongi was nowhere to be found on campus (as always). And with your late night practices missing (you couldn’t get Jimin and Jungkook to go into the school at night again, they were both convinced you had been possessed by a ghost after the last encounter and really didn’t want to risk it again) you also weren't able to visit him after finishing. So of course you were nervous to see him again, mostly because of the fear that he had changed his mind about your friendship. 

You step into the lecture hall. It takes you a moment to scan over the rows of people, looking for the black haired man. Your eyes suddenly land on him. His headphones tangle from his ears, his hands clutch the corner of the table, but he doesn't look so tense today. His head is raised, moving from left to right as if he is looking for something. Or someone.

Yoongi’s eyes scan over you, they fall on another person before they become bigger, snapping back to you. He has found you.

Yoongi’s lips twitch up into a tiny smile, his cheeks become rosy. He raises his left hand. He waves at you, it's not a big wave just one especially for your eyes to see. 

You break into the biggest grin ever, your heart feels like exploding in your chest. You wave back at him. So he didn't change his mind. 

You have never been faster up the stairs and by his seat than today, taking three steps at a time. Yoongi never stops watching you, following you with his eyes. 

"Hey how are you?" you sit down next to him, turning your body to his. 

"Hey, I'm g-good", Yoongi says. He looks away for the briefest of moments, "and y-you?" he looks back at you, keeping his eyes just the tiniest bit lowered. 

"I'm also good, thanks for asking. Save for the fact that we have to listen to Mister Kim ramble about Beethoven's cousins for two hours straight now." 

Yoongi smiles, lowering his head in bashfulness. He doesn't want you to see that you made him giggle, it's too embarrassing. 

"I, I, I h-have-", he stops to take a breath. 

He is gnawing on his bottom lip, blushing. 

"Take your time", you encourage him. 

Yoongi takes another deep breath. 

"I-I have something f-for you", he mumbles. 

"For me?" you gasp, surprised. 

Yoongi nods, before he turns on the chair. He turns back to you, now holding a white paper cup in his hand.

"For you. C-coffee." 

He hands it to you, pulling back instantly in order to avoid any unplanned skin on skin contact. 

It is cold, Yoongi must have had it for some time. Its smell is mouth watering, rich and deep.

You can’t stop smiling whilst staring at the white paper cup in your hands. So he got you coffee. It feels as if thousands of butterflies flutter in your stomach, your cheeks heating up. 

"Thank you so much, wow", you breathe. 

Yoongi nods his head once, not daring to look into your eyes as he is far too shy to do so.

You take a sip of the coffee. Yoongi watches you through his bangs, staring at your lips. It tastes delicious, it has a rich coffee flavor, the milk tastes creamy with a hint of vanilla.

“Wow this tastes so good, it’s exactly what I needed right now”, you gush, taking another sip.

Yoongi blushes even more, smiling softly. He looks at his notepad, taking his pen to play with. He needs it to ease his nerves right now.

“At least now I won’t be falling asleep in the lecture like I feared”, you joke.

Yoongi smiles brighter, biting the tip of his tongue to keep himself from giggling out loud.

“I-I’m glad I c-could help”, he murmurs, his voice sounds happy.

Sadly Mister Kim struts through the door just a moment later, interrupting your conversation. You soon notice Yoongi’s big interest in today’s topic, his eyes are glued to the professor, his lips slightly parted without him even noticing. He scribbles down everything the professor talks about, staining his fingers in black ink. His notes are chaotic, his writing hurried and unreadable, but to Yoongi they seem perfect. His interest in the topic seems to be contagious, you soon find yourself listening to the professor with curious eyes. At some point you even start to write down what the professor says, scribbling little drawings in between sentences whenever your mind seems to black out for a moment. But you keep listening, always taking in the words Mister Kim says, you really don’t want to risk not being able to talk about the topic with Yoongi after the lecture ends.

Yoongi doesn’t stand up once the lesson is over. He keeps seated, his hands hidden between his legs and his eyes seemingly looking at the board. You however know that he is watching you, waiting for you to make the first move.

“The lesson was really interesting today, don’t you think?” you ask whilst storing your notepad in your bag.

Yoongi tenses up for a moment before he relaxes again. He nods. You can see him fumble with the fabric of his pants.

“Thank you again for the coffee. It made me feel so energized”, you say, waving the now empty paper cup in the air.

Yoongi’s cheeks heat up, he removes his hands from between his legs to scratch the back of his neck.

“I, I got it f-from the b-bakery”, he confesses, he seems almost embarrassed.

But the bakery is thirty minutes away. That means that he actually carried them with him all the way to the school. You find yourself flustering, not being able to hide your smile.

“You didn’t need to do that, it must have been such a bother.”

Yoongi shakes his head vigorously.

“No, i-it’s okay. I, I liked t-the walk”, he looks at you, “it was nice g-getting a, a b-break from school.”

So Yoongi spent his break between lessons to get coffee for you. This, you hadn’t expected. You had expected him to have no lessons before your shared lecture and come here straight from home. But you hadn’t expected him to actually walk thirty minutes to the bakery and then back to the school again. Oh dear, your heart is racing so much.

“You didn’t have to do that”, you gasp.

Yoongi’s eyes grow big, a look of panic flickering in them.

“I,I-“, he swallows, “I’m sorry, I, I d-didn’t want t-to, to-“, he quickly jumps up to walk out of the lecture hall and get out of his embarrassment.

He knew getting you coffee would be too much. Stupid mouth, why did he have to mention that he went to the bakery. Now you will think he is a total weirdo.

He can hear you follow him, your footsteps loud in his ringing ears. God, this is so embarrassing, he is blushing like an idiot.

“Hey don’t worry. I think it’s really sweet of you”, you reassure him.

You reach out to touch his shoulder, only to pull back at the last moment when Yoongi stops and turns around.

“You d-don’t think it, it’s weird?” he asks, almost whispering so the other people in the hallway wouldn’t hear him.

They are staring again, judging you for talking to him and sending daggers his way. One day if he ever feels brave enough he’ll tell all of them to mind their own business. But today is not the day, today all he wants to hear is that he isn’t weird in your eyes.

“Of course not. I’m just so surprised that you would walk an hour just to get me coffee”, you say, lowering your head in shyness.

Yoongi smiles, his eyes starting to sparkle. His heart flutters in his chest, his hands feel sweaty.

“I, I just felt like it. N-no big d-deal”, he mumbles, trying his hardest to sound as cool as possible.

You look up, meeting his eyes. You smile, it makes him smile as well. It feels good, right, like this moment was meant to be in the big circle of life.

For once Yoongi doesn’t notice the stares and whispers, for once you don’t care about the glares and judging voices. It is just the two of you, who are important, just the two of you to pay attention to. How you would love to caress his arm, stroke your fingers up and down his soft sweater. Would he feel as soft and warm as he looks? He probably would, maybe even a little bit softer and just the tiniest amount of warmer. How Yoongi would love to brush the strand of fallen hair out of your face, just so he could see more of your eyes he finds so beautiful. And just so he could see your face light up in that cute carefree smile you always do when you think no one is watching you.

But fear holds you back, both of you are too scared that the other might find it weird, that this would overstep your boundaries. If only you knew how much your hearts are aching for each other.  

“Do you want to walk home with me?” you ask, breaking the silence.

“Mhm?” Yoongi blinks, blushing once he realises that he had been staring, “Oh, y-yeah.”

“Awesome”, you smile.

The two of you start walking, your bodies close enough to let people know you belong together but not close enough to actually touch arms. The people feel irrelevant, their stares don’t hurt you and they don’t make Yoongi feel scared today. He feels safe next to you, your presence gives him confidence. The only thing that still scares him is you, well, saying the wrong thing in front of you to be exact.

“I actually never walked home before. I always took the bus because I was too lazy. So this is exciting right now”, you say, giggling.

“Walking is so m-much nicer than t-the bus”, Yoongi says, hiding his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

The sudden urge to hold your hand bopped into his head and he needs to do everything in his power to stop himself from actually reaching out. He knows you would think him creepy if he dared to touch you.

You don’t notice anything of his inner struggle, too busy with looking at the flowerless roses. Autumn has officially started, the once colourful bushes now vast of any colour. It almost feels sad, looking at the fallen flower petals on the ground.

“I can imagine, you can see so much more of the city this way”, you say and sigh in contentment.

You abandon the rose bushes, walking through the gate of the school and reaching the road. It is louder outside, the air a lot worse now that cars are driving past you. But tonight it doesn’t seem to bother you, the evening feels too beautiful for it to be ruined by smog.

“Yes and less p-people too”, Yoongi says.

You chuckle.

“And less people, of course”, you laugh.

Yoongi starts to blush again, biting the inside of his cheek. God, he is so awkward, you must think him a total mess.

You don’t say anything for a long time after that. Yoongi, because in his mind he is scolding himself for always being so nervous around you and for always saying the most stupid things. And you because there was nothing better to you than the quietness of the evening. Not one moment are you thinking how awkward all of this feels, why would you, when you feel perfectly comfortable in his presence.

To you this evening seems wonderful, you had the longest talk with Yoongi as of yet, he bought you coffee and agreed on walking home with you. You couldn’t be happier, your plan on being friends with him turns out to be even better than imagined.

Your bus leaves exactly when you pass the bus stop, humming its mechanical melody. You and Yoongi stop to look after it for a moment. Suddenly you laugh, feeling the need to wave after the bus.

“Guess now I really have to walk home”, you joke.

Yoongi forces a smile to his face, laughing awkwardly whilst scratching the back of his neck.

This must have been you subtly telling him that you regret ever asking him to walk with you. He is sure of it. Oh no, he ruined everything.

“I-I’m sorry”, he whispers, lowering his head in shame.

You stop laughing to look at him in confusion.

“What?” you gasp, “Oh, no I didn’t mean it like that. I was making a joke about my laziness.”

Yoongi looks at you for the briefest of moments.

“Oh”, he blushes, his cheeks deep red from embarrassment.

He raises his hands to his face, hiding it behind them.

“I’m so stupid”, his voice is muffled by his hands.

He looks so endearing, the sleeves of his sweater have slipped over his hands, giving them the appearance of two little paws. He is wearing a beanie today, instead of a hoodie. It makes his hair look all the more fluffy at the parts where it peeks out of the grey fabric.

“You’re not, really”, you assure him, chuckling fondly.

Yoongi giggles quietly, his voice deep in his chest. He feels so relieved. All this time he thought you started to dislike him, but it seems like you don’t. If he wasn’t that nervous he would laugh loudly right now just from how relieved he feels.

“Do you want t-to go to t-the park?” he asks, feeling weirdly brave.

“The park?” you eye the beautiful piece of nature on the opposite side of the street.

“It takes longer t-to get home, but it’s so b-beautiful”, he explains his suggestion.

Your eyes light up, excitement bubbles in your stomach.

“Sure, I am always open for a trip to nature”, you say.

You rush to the closest crosswalk, Yoongi quickly follows you. You cross the street, and run into the park afterwards with happiness glowing in your chests.

At this time of the day the park is almost empty. An old man walks his dog just down by the tall acorn tree. You can hear him talk to the white Maltese and you can hear the dog's answer in the form of an excited bark. You can spot a pond far away, just across the big meadow. A couple sits by the water, their hands intertwined and their lips connected by a kiss. They must be really in love, they almost seem to glow in the autumn sun.

Other than that, you can’t see anyone else, Yoongi and you seem to be the newest guest at this magical place.

“It’s so quiet here”, you breathe.

The trees are tall, wearing their autumn clothes held in yellow and orange, some even went with a deep red dress. You don’t feel the wind on your skin, but when you look up you can watch it dance in the branches of the trees, the soft rustling calming you down.

“I can show y-you a more b-beautiful spot”, the deep timbre of Yoongi’s voice almost startles you.

You had nearly forgotten about his presence.

“Sure, show me”, you smile.

With your consent Yoongi leads you down the gravel paths, deeper into the forest. It gets darker once the trees manage to shield the sunlight. You would have definitely been scared had you come here alone. 

But having Yoongi next to you fights away all of your worries. Being able to look at him from the corner of your eyes calms you down. His feet shuffle over the gravel, his arms seem to swing the tiniest bit and his head wiggles happily from side to side. Tiny hums of approval leave his lips every time his eyes spots an especially beautiful tree. He is so endearing without even trying.

All of it makes your chest feel lighter and your cheeks feel hotter. The crunch of your shoes on the gravel sounds calming to you. The shadows the street lamps cast don’t look scary to you, instead of taunting you they seem to watch you from afar with fond smiles on their faceless faces.

Yoongi stops right underneath a tall mammoth tree. It towers over the other trees, having something almost magical about it. Like it is the tree the forest spirits use to sit on and watch the world fall asleep.

“We are here”, he announces, walking to the tree and sitting down on the dirt underneath it.

You follow him, thanking the universe for making you put on your least favourite jeans today.

“I come here w-when I, I want p-peace”, he explains.

He touches the tree, caressing the bark with gentle fingers.

“I listen t-to music here”, he smiles fondly looking up the tree, “or write my own”, he adds quietly.

He is glowing right now, his eyes sparkling like little galaxies. So beautiful, you think, he is so beautiful.

“You write music? That’s so cool”, you say, feeling the urge to scoot closer to him.

Yoongi nods, still looking at the tree, caressing its bark.

“Wow, that’s really awesome. Did you learn it here at school? I always wanted to try out the composing course, but was scared it would turn out to be bad.”

“No, I d-didn’t”, Yoongi shakes his head, “I never went t-there.”

“Why not?”

Yoongi’s smile falls, his hands fall from the tree, landing on his lap.

“I’m-“, he sighs sadly.

“It’s okay”, you assure him, sensing his discomfort.

“I don’t want t-to show my, my music”, he says, chewing on his lower lip.

“Why not? Isn’t that the whole point in writing music?”

He shakes his head.

“N-no. I’m scared of, of p-people not liking my, my music”, he confesses lowering his head.

Your heart stings, your chest feels heavy. He is so talented and he just can’t seem to see it.

“Yoongi”, you breathe.

He flinches at the pity in your voice, cringing internally at letting his guard down in a moment of trust. Your next words however, leave him close to tears.

“If your music is just a fraction of how you play the piano I can tell you that it is beautiful. I don’t know if you noticed, but you have an immense talent in music. I mean it.”

Yoongi doesn’t dare raise his head, too scared you would be able to see his glossy eyes. It feels so good to hear nice words directed at him.

“Thank you”, his voice sounds strained, close to breaking.

Your hand hovers over his’ for a moment, wanting to touch him, wanting to comfort him. Panic. You pull back, hiding your hand between your legs. You can’t, this would overstep your boundaries.

“Maybe one day you can show me some of your music? So I can confirm my theory”, you say instead.

Yoongi’s eyes race from left to right, his tongue darts out to wet his lips. He is thinking hard.

“Y-yes, I mean no, no, I- maybe”, he mumbles, “I d-don’t have it recorded yet. I, I need to d-do that first”, he confesses almost embarrassed.

“No rush, take your time”, you assure him.

He nods in gratefulness, humming.

You study his features, fumbling with the sleeves of your jumper. 

"I write lyrics sometimes", you confess. 

He looks at you, "really?" 

"Yes, well, at least I try to. Most of the time I give up on them because they either become way too personal or they sound too cheesy." 

He seems so...mesmerised. So in awe. As if he had never met someone, who shares the hobby of composing with him. 

"But I have this one song I really want to finish one day. I just can’t think of any melodies for it, because I really suck at composing." 

"I-I could-", he takes a deep breath, "-can I, I see the l-lyrics?" 

"What? You want to see?" 

He nods his head shyly. 

"Wow", you whisper, feeling your heart flutter. This is the first time someone shows interest in your silly lyrics, "o-of course. Here, I always carry my notebook with me in case I get an idea." 

You open the book on the right page and hand it to Yoongi. He accepts it, holding it in his hands as if it was an irreplaceable treasure. He reads quietly, moving his lips as he does. And while he reads, you are left staring at him with your heart beating irregularly in nervousness and your fingers busying themselves by fumbling with the sleeves of your sweater. 

Yoongi finishes reading and closes the book. 

"This i-is really profound", he says, handing you the book back. 

"You think so?" you feel yourself tingle in happiness. 

"Yes, t-the lyrics m-make me feel sad b-but understood." 

Something inside of you flutters. This is everything you wanted to achieve with this song. 

"Thank you so much", you whisper, eyes glued to his face. He became so, so beautiful right now. 

"I-I'd go with something s-simple", he says and opens his backbag. He pulls out a small keyboard, putting it on his lap. You watch the scene unfold with held breath. Yoongi isn’t going to play, is he? 

He turns the keyboard on and plays a simple melody. It is soft and slow, carrying a sense of comfort to it. Now, it would be a lot better if he had more than ten keys to use, but the scene before your eyes is breathtaking nonetheless. 

Yoongi is playing for you. He is making up melodies just for you. He finishes his little concert with a simple chord, lifting his gaze. 

"That's what I would d-do", he says and begins blushing. 

You look at his lips then into his eyes, thinking to yourself that they truly were beautiful. He just made up a melody for your song. He just did that. 

Yoongi lowers his eyes then his head and then his entire face flushes a deep red. He touches the side of his neck, pushing the keyboard off his lap. 

"S-sorry", he whispers, clearly having realised just now what he had done. 

"Don't apologize, this was beautiful. Thank you so much, I love it with all my heart", you tell him. 

He lifts his gaze, smiling shyly. 

"Y-you think s-so?" 

"Yes, this is exactly what I had imagined my song to sound like. Except that it's even better." 

He looks at his lap, hiding his bright smile behind his sweater paw. 

"Could you play it again? And I record it for later?" 

He shakes his head, "I-I’ll record y-you a better d-demo." 

You know that he only says that because he is now too shy to play again, but that is okay for you because you just had the honour to receive a personalised melody from Yoongi. 

"Of course, that's even better. Thank you so much Yoongi", you say and smile. 

He nods his head, busying his hands by storing his keyboard back in his bag. You do the same, storing away your notebook. Oh, you feel so happy. Yoongi is actually going to write a melody for you and he is going to record it! This is better than anything you could have ever imagined.

As if natural, silence arises between the two of you afterwards. It feels nice, comfortable even. Like the two of you have known each other for such a long time that sometimes words aren’t necessary to understand each other. Just the presence of the other person is enough to make you happy and to make your hearts feel light in your chests. You have never felt like this before, of course you felt comfortable with Jimin and Jungkook from the start, but with them there wasn’t this intense warmth in your chest and a fluttering feeling in your stomach, almost as if butterflies were dancing in it. With them you felt comfortable like you had been friends for a long time, but with Yoongi you feel relaxed in such a foreign way it makes your head spin. Could this possibly be what falling in love feels like?

You glance at Yoongi. He has his eyes closed, leaning against the tree with a content look on his face. His lips are slightly parted, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He looks so calm right now. It makes you smile before you quickly look away for the desire to cup his cheek is too much to bear.

Instead you look around you, drinking in the scenery. Yoongi has taken you deep into the forest, the paths are narrow and covered by moss, the street lamps are sparse, lighting the paths occasionally. This place almost has a mystical feel to it, like you had stepped into a world full of magic. You can’t hear a single car from the street, the silence feels so healing. It is as if you are back home, sitting underneath a tree in your backyard.

The air had gotten a lot colder now that the warming light of the sun was missing. You can feel the wind on your arms, raising goosebumps wherever it brushes your skin with cold fingers. The breeze carries the smell of nature with it, wet earth and resin. But there was something else, something familiar, woody with a hint of orange blossoms. You let your eyes fall on the culprit. He smells exactly like he did in the bakery, just a little bit sweeter now that he had claimed a soft spot in your heart.

Yoongi quickly closes his eyes once he meets yours, seeming frightened as if you had caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. Had he perhaps been staring at you?

Gosh, you feel so shy all of a sudden, your cheeks burning up. You giggle. Yoongi opens his eyes, looking at you.

“What?” he asks quietly.

Your eyes meet, you are smiling at him.

“Nothing, I just-“, your smile grows, your eyes starting to sparkle, “-really like this place.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi keeps looking at you, “I, I like it t-too”, he breathes as he stares at your smiling lips. Here it is, that cute carefree smile he so yearned for.

[jamaisjoons]

intro: her II ⤑ knj | m

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 you enter namjoon’s life in the most unexpected of ways, but will you be able to stay, especially when he comes with three adorable but chaotic children, even more chaotic best friends and a bitch of an ex-wife? not to mention your own emotional baggage. 〞singe dad au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: single dad!namjoon x marine vet!reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst ⋆ fluff

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 9k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: mentions of child neglect and abandonment but nothing too great, talk of abortion, i think that’s it?

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: EYE have no excuses for why this took so long to write. But here it is, the long awaited chapter 2!

⏤ Rewritten as of 23/02/2020

⇥ Previous || Masterlist || Next

Chapter 2: Pirates and Flashbacks

As you stand in front of the large, opulent building, you gawk at the pristine white walls, crystal clear glass and immaculately kept garden. Everything about the building screams money and suddenly you aren’t sure if this is a good idea. Currently, you’re stood outside Namjoon’s home, two neatly wrapped gifts in your hand as you nervously fidgeted about. Today’s the day of the twins’ birthday party and a part of you wants to turn around and run. You don’t belong in this world. You’re completely out of place, dressed in your nicest pair of jeans and a fashionable jumper - considering it’s winter -, and yet while staring at the palace-like home; you can’t help but still feel nervous.

You take in a deep breath and gather all the courage you can muster up before pressing the buzzer. Taking a step back, your fidget with your jumper as you attempt to make yourself presentable; picking at the non-existence lint on the wool. A couple of moments later, someone answers the intercom and a face pops up out of nowhere. To your surprise, it’s Hoseok - and not some random member of staff that Namjoon must have hired to take care of his home. Because really, how else would he be able to look after the entire mansion he considers a house? With uncertainty prevalent in your eyes, you stare at the moving image of Hoseok, waving back hesitantly at his exuberant wave. You’re almost worried his hand will fall off with how intensely it moves.

“____! Hi! Come on in,” Hoseok greets you cheerily and you smile at him. Abruptly, his face disappears and the screen goes blank again. However, you don’t have to wait long because, soon, the gates to Namjoon’s house begin creaking open. Sucking in a nervous breath, you stay your nerves as much as you can before entering. By the time you get to the front door, Hoseok is already there, greeting you with a warm welcome.

“____, it’s nice of you to come. The boys haven’t stopped speaking about you. Jungkookie keeps pestering Namjoon-ah, asking him when you’d get here. Which, is quite surprising, because Jungkook hates strangers. But lately, you’re all he can talk about,” Hoseok says with a booming laugh, making small conversation. You’re slightly startled by his words, wondering what about you had enamoured the four-year-old so much.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s only because I helped him when he got lost,” you explain causing Hoseok to let out a small hum. Looking at you from the corner of his eye, his eyes glisten mischievously.

“Maybe… all we know is that he won’t stop talking about you,” Hoseok says, a small smile on his face. Hoseok navigates through the maze-like home with relative ease, and you wonder just how close he is to Namjoon. You know they work for the same company and have been friends for years, but they must be incredibly close for Namjoon’s children to call him ‘hyung’, and for him to be able to wander through the house easily, without getting lost.

Before long, you and Hoseok find yourself in a large, minimalistic living room. Neutral and white tones surround you everywhere and a part of you wonders how this can be a family home. It looks more like a bachelor pad than anything else. Although, you assume that that stems from Namjoon being a single dad. The neat, almost clinical room is somewhat ruined by the brightly coloured toys strewn all over. Colourful banners and balloons are littered all over and a huge sign saying ‘Happy birthday Jimin and Taehyung’ meets your eyes. You want to continue taking in the sights, but instead, your eyes widen at the sheer chaos surrounding you.

There’s a small group of children running rampant, screaming and yelling as they chase each other. Taehyung is at the forefront of the yelling, a huge boxy smile on his face as he screeches and laughs, dragging a giggling Jimin behind him as the two try and get away from the other three chasing them. The two are holding hands as tightly as they can, both of them holding large plastic swords in the free hands; pirate hats too big for their small heads falling into their eyes. Your eyebrows furrow, looking around for Jungkook. You don’t have to look for long, though, because you find him gripping Namjoon’s trousers, clinging as hard as he can onto his father.

Namjoon is standing with Yoongi and Seokjin, all of them sipping drinks. Every now and then you see one of them glance at the kids, trying to keep an eye on them. There’s also a couple standing with them, but you can’t recognise who they are. Hoseok slowly guides you to them, the group of adults turning to you. The minute Jungkook spots you, however, his previously reserved face, immediately lights up. You watch as he quickly let’s go off Namjoon’s leg, instead, running up to you. Jungkook collides with your legs, his arms wrapped around them as he flashes you his bunny-esque smile.

“____-noona! You came!” Jungkook cries with happiness and you grin at him, rearranging the presents you’re holding in your arms to pet his head. Namjoon smiles brightly at you, dimples poking out, Seokjin waving at you while Yoongi nods his greeting. The couple, however, looks at you in surprise.

“I’ve never seen little Kook so excited to see someone,” the guy jokes, the female smacking him hard on the shoulder.

“Sooyun, Jaebeom, this is ____, the one I was telling you about,” Namjoon introduces and you bow slightly at the two of them.

“Ah! The famous ____, who Jungkook has yet to stop talking about,” Sooyun teases, eyes sparkling as she looks down at Jungkook

“Sooyunie-noona stop teasing me!” Jungkook pouts, stomping his foot in frustration. You look at the usually quiet boy in surprise, eyes widening somewhat at the light blush dusting his cheeks.

“Nochu, go play with your hyungs,” Namjoon says, trying to shoo the young boy away, but Jungkook just clings to you tighter.

“I don’t want to daddy, Suri is always pinching my cheeks and then they hurt,” Jungkook says with a small pout, dragging out the ends of his words as he rubs his cheeks slightly.

“Yes, well my daughter does take after her mother,” Jaebeom says mischievously as he eyes Sooyun, causing her to smack him on the shoulder again while he laughs.

“As if you don’t teach her to keep away from boys by being as annoying as she can be. Anyway, I’m sure Sungwoo and Jaewoo will stop her from pinching your cheeks Kookie,” Sooyun says kindly and Jungkook looks at her hesitantly before turning his gaze back to his father, who nods reassuringly.

“You’ll have Jimin and Taehyung too, Nochu,” Namjoon finally says and Jungkook lets out a defeated sigh before running off with a pout. You watch as he shyly walks up to the older group, Jimin and Taehyung grinning brightly at him before grabbing him by the hand and dragging him along. More importantly, you can’t help but notice the look of glee on Suri’s face when Jungkook joins the group.

“Wow, I can’t believe you actually got him to leave your side,” Yoongi snorts and you turn your attention back to the group of adults, Namjoon blushing bright red as Seokjin and Hoseok laugh at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Namjoon sputters and Yoongi gives him a knowing look.

“That you baby the hell out of that boy, to the point that he is quite literally glued to your leg,” Yoongi deadpans, causing Namjoon to blush deeper.

“Come on Yoongi, cut him some slack. He can’t help it if Kook is his baby, he is Namjoonie’s youngest, and the fact that he’s so shy,” Sooyun cuts in as she coos about Jungkook. Yoongi simply lets out a small smirk as he shrugs.

“Moving on, so _____, tell me about you! I heard you were a vet of some sort? At Coex aquarium?” Sooyun says, drawing the attention back to you. You find yourself blushing under the stares of everyone, especially Yoongi.

“Umm… ah yes Sooyun-ssi, it’s where and how I found Jungkook. But I’m sure you know that already,” you reply, the older woman smiling at you.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you here. Ever since Jimin and Taehyung befriended Jaewoo and Sungwoo, I’ve always been the only woman, other than my Suri that is. But you can see why she doesn’t count,” Sooyun laughs, smiling brightly and you nod, responding with your own smile.

“Yes, well I heard you’re a massive Agust D fan. That must have rubbed a sore spot with Namjoon and Hoseok,” Jaebeom stage whispers conspiratorially and once again you find yourself blushing while stuttering, unsure of what to say.

“I-I-I… ummm. I like all their music! It’s just Agust D was the reason I got into rap music and his music and lyrics helped me out in some really tough situations. The lyrics just mean more to me… OH GOD! Not that your lyrics don’t mean anything, they are all very meaningful and quite frankly beautiful but… I’m just going to stop talking now,” you mumble as you trail off from your panicky rant. The searing heat of embarrassment warms your face, all the way from the tips of your ears to your neck while you mentally kick yourself, wondering how likely it was for the ground to swallow you whole.

You find yourself cringing even harder as Seokjin and Hoseok’s loud laughs fill your ears, clearly finding amusement from the situation. Namjoon glares at both of them, silently gesturing to them to shut up, only causing them to snicker louder. From the corner of your eyes, you look at Yoongi, and though his head is slightly turned away from you, you spot the faintest blush on his cheeks, an imperceptible smile on his face. Seeing his smile, you calm down in the slightest, knowing that despite making an ass of yourself, your words are appreciated by the famous rapper.

“Ah, thank you ____-ssi,” Yoongi says quietly, clearly not used to the praise. You grace him with a shy smile, Namjoon looking between the two of you with an unreadable expression.

“Sooyun-ssi, you mentioned being the only woman, surely Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook’s mother is also around to keep you company?” you ask in an attempt to change the subject. However, as soon as the words leave your mouth, you’re filled with instant regret. Instantly, the light, airy atmosphere shifts.

Seokjin and Hoseok immediately stop laughing, drawing up to their full heights as they turn to Namjoon wearily. Namjoon’s gaze immediately hardens, his chin protruding out as he looks away, the muscles around his jaw clenching as he grits his teeth. Yoongi’s features fall, his face turning passive, but you can tell he’s angry from the way his fists are clenched by his side. Jaebeom looks at you in shock, while Sooyun smiles apologetically towards you.

The only noises you can hear are the children still running about and yelling, their laughter juxtaposed by the thick tension surrounding the adults. A couple of moments pass in awkward silence and you’re unsure what to say. Clearly, you’ve hit a sore point. However, just as you open your mouth to apologise, Namjoon finally speaks. He turns his gaze to you and you immediately freeze, eyes slightly wide at the cold, hard stare he levels at you.

“They have no mother,” Namjoon spits out, before turning on his heel and walking away. Seokjin and Hoseok smile tentatively at you before running after him. Yoongi lets out a sigh and walks to the children, Jaebeom following him. You stare wide-eyed at Sooyun, stuttering as you try to find something to say.

“I- Sorry about that. The boys’ mother… it’s a touchy subject. Come on, let’s get you a drink,” Sooyun says, grabbing your hand and dragging you away from the living room and into the kitchen. Once she gets there, she opens the fridge before, “orange or multifruit? What’s your choice?” she asks, holding up two bottles of juice. You make your choice and Sooyun smiles, pouring you a glass before handing it to you. “That’s the only downside about kids’ parties, no alcohol. Take a seat,” Sooyun jokes, smiling before gesturing to one of the chairs in the kitchen. Taking the drink with a slight bow, you take a seat while looking around nervously. Sooyun sits across from you and stares for a couple moments. Shifting under her gaze, you’re unsure of what to say. 

Finally, after long, tense moments, you decide to break the silence. “Ummm, I’m sorry but did I do something wrong?” you ask timidly and Sooyun sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose before sending you a small, regretful smile.

“Yes and no. Obviously, it’s clear Namjoon’s ex-wife is a sore spot for him. You aren’t at fault because really, you had no idea. But bringing it up… bringing her up around him isn’t a wise decision from what I know,” Sooyun says tentatively and you nod, sipping your juice lightly. Once again, you fall into an awkward silence, unsure whether you should ask or not. A part of you wants to know, but the major half of you knows it’s rude to ask - especially, considering you barely know Namjoon.

“Aren’t you going to tell her?” a voice breaks in, startling you as it cuts the silence. The two of you turn to spot Yoongi leaning against the doorway, his nonchalant gaze trained on you.

“I wasn’t sure whether I should. Besides, I don’t really know anything. Namjoon doesn’t really speak about it,” Sooyun says with a shrug, Yoongi nodding as he pulls up a seat next to you. He continues staring at you, his expression unreadable; making you shift uncomfortably in your seat.

“I think I’ll join Jae in watching the kids,” Sooyun says, excusing herself from the room. You sit up straight, looking at Yoongi warily. Even without knowing he was one of Korea’s most famous and fastest rappers, he exudes a stoic but powerful aura that instantly has you wanting to shrink into your seat.

“I’m not going to bite your head off, you can relax,” Yoongi says after a couple minutes of terse silence.

“I’m- I’m sorry about bringing it up. I didn’t know,” you apologise but Yoongi waves you off, his rings glinting in the light.

“The fact that you didn’t know, means you don’t have to be sorry. Namjoon… tends to overreact when she’s mentioned. Granted, for the right reasons. She was a bitch. But nevertheless, his reaction was over the top and he shouldn’t have treated you like that. He’s equally in the wrong,” Yoongi begins explaining and you relax at his words: now more curious about the situation than anything.

“I… would you mind telling me about her?” you ask, before “but you don’t have to! I understand it’s not my place to ask about it,” you quickly follow sheepishly, looking away as you rub your arm in anxiousness. Yoongi lets out a scoff, causing you to sink into your seat.

“What do you think I came here for? Believe it or not, it’s better if you know. Especially considering it seems like you’re probably going to be in Namjoon’s life a lot more,” Yoongi says, and your eyebrows furrowing, wondering what he means,

“I don’t think I’m all that important and after today, I highly doubt Namjoon will want to see me again anyway,” you reply. Your words cause Yoongi to snort.

“You’re wrong for two reasons. The first is Namjoon is hot-headed when it comes to Jihee. He’ll get over it and as soon as he does and his mind is clear, he’ll feel bad and apologise. Secondly, in case you didn’t already realise, Jungkook is majorly spoiled and babied by Namjoon. If he wants something, and it’s within Namjoon’s means to get it, he’s getting it. Same with Jimin and Taehyung, but especially Jungkook; considering he’s the youngest. Jungkook likes you. He hasn’t stopped talking about you this entire week and it almost drove Namjoon mad. Jungkook wants to see you, he’s attached to you and since he doesn’t get attached easily, Namjoon will make sure you’re somehow, someway in their lives,” Yoongi explains and you nod, unsure of what to do with the information.

It comes as a shock: being suddenly thrust into Namjoon’s world is daunting; not only is he a popular rapper and artist figure, but he’s also the father of three children at a young age of only 24 years old. But when you think about Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook, you can’t help but not care. The children are entirely too adorable - a trap for anyone. You can’t help but want to be a part of their lives. And then there’s Namjoon. Handsome, breathtakingly beautiful Namjoon. With smooth honey-kissed tan skin, a button nose, plush lips and deep dimples. And that was all excluding his god-like proportions. If you hadn’t seen him in flesh, you would have assumed he was some sort of Adonis, sculpted by the gods themselves. That was the unnerving part.

But if you really think about it, you don’t mind being in his life either. In fact, you can’t help but want to be part of his life.

“Namjoon’s ex-wife is Oh Jihee,” Yoongi says, pulling you out of your thoughts with a start.

You stare at him in wide-eyed astonishment, mouth gaping as you stutter. “O-Oh Jihee? As in Korea’s sweetheart, Oh Jihee? Supermodel and highest-paid actress Oh Jihee? That Oh Jihee?” you question in incredulity, Yoongi rolling his eyes before nodding.

“Yes her. She wasn’t always Korea’s sweetheart,” Yoongi spits out the title, tone laced with disgust.

“What happened? I haven’t heard anything about her being married to Namjoon? Or to anyone in general. I mean, we’ve known he has children - but she’s never once spoken about having children. I didn’t even know he was married beforehand - or that she was married to him,” you reply. Your words make Yoongi grunt.

“He tries to keep them out of the public as much as he can. Besides, if the public ever found out his ex-wife is Oh Jihee and that they have children together, could you imagine the field day the press would have? Both of them have covered their tracks as well as they can. They even had their marriage annulled rather than a straight divorce. Took a while, but it happened. This was before she became who she is now. She didn’t want to come off in a negative light. Which she would have considering she neglected and abandoned her children,” Yoongi spat out and you reel back, eyes wide. You couldn’t even fathom giving up children as adorably well behaved as Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook - though, you figure that’s more Namjoon’s influence on them than anything.

“Namjoon and Jihee went to the same high school. It was a classic dumbass cliché. Namjoon wasn’t always as he is now, he used to be the class nerd. Don’t get me wrong, he always had a love for music and we spent a lot of time writing and composing music together. That’s how we met each other. But I digress. Namjoon never really cared for her, he was too busy making music and studying. I think that’s what caught her attention. That almost everyone had a crush on her, but there was Namjoon, practically ignoring her existence in pursuit of his own dreams. She was the most popular girl in school and she was intrigued that someone wasn’t paying attention to her, I guess,” Yoongi begins to explain and you cock an eyebrow, causing Yoongi to chuckle.

“As I said, classic dumbass cliché,” Yoongi replies and despite yourself, you giggle, causing him to let out a small smile before it dies as he continues with the story.

“The weirdest day was when Jihee started noticing Namjoon. It was suspicious at most, considering they ran in different circles. Namjoon didn’t really care for her and just sort of let it happen. It started with her asking him to tutor him, then her asking for him to show her his music. They started hanging out a lot more and eventually, Namjoon fell for her. And he fell hard. I can still remember the day they started dating. Almost the entire school was talking about it. School nerd and most popular girl. It was like a damn movie. But they eventually got over it. Namjoon considered himself in love and so did Jihee. Apparently, she liked that he was different. That all changed one-day,” Yoongi continues, his eyes glazing slightly as he stares at seemingly nothing.

{Flashback: Feb 2012}

Jihee: Namjoon, I need to speak to you. Meet me by the plum blossom tree, you know the one.

Namjoon stared at his phone screen in worry, hands shaking uneasily as dread filled him. He had no idea why Jihee had suddenly texted him out of the blue - at 1am at night nonetheless. More than that, he had no idea why she sounded so serious. His Jihee was happy, bubbly and used an excessive amount of x’s and heart emojis. Quite frankly, the text scared him. Countless of thoughts were going through his head, the worst of them were of Jihee breaking off their two-year relationship.

They were both 18 now and soon, they’d be going to university. Namjoon to study a double major in business and music, and Jihee to study the performing arts. That was the best part of their relationship; they both supported each other’s dreams. Namjoon clutched his phone harder. They had survived through a lot, and he considered himself in love. Ideally, he’d want to marry Jihee once they were both done with university. However, her text seriously scared him. He didn’t know what he’d do if she broke up with him.

Namjoon’s legs were screaming as they continued running. He was panting and out of breath, but he knew he had to get to her. Another couple of minutes later, he made it to the old plum blossom tree in the park. He skids to a halt, eyes squinting in the dark, his breath fogging as he panted, gasping for air. Once he finally collected himself, he looked around more clearly. It didn’t take him long to spot her. Even in the dark, in the cold winter night, she looked beautiful. Not that she was ever not beautiful to him. He walked slowly to her, taking in her figure sitting on the frosted grass. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, her face buried between them as her dark long hair cascaded around her.

When he got to her, she looked up and Namjoon’s heart broke as their eyes met, hers filled with unshed tears. Namjoon’s eyes softened as he took in how small she looked. She was always so confident, so full and sure of herself. He’d never seen her look so small or defeated. He immediately crouched down and pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. As soon as she was in his arms, she let out a sob, her body shaking as she began crying in his arms. Namjoon’s heart broke a second time and he simply held her, cooing at her as he tried to calm her down.

“Namjoon… we- we have a problem,” Jihee stuttered, hiccupping every couple of moments as she pushed him away, looking at him earnestly. Namjoon shakes his head, wiping her tears before smiling at her reassuringly.

“Whatever it is, we’ll go through it together,” Namjoon says and Jihee’s lip quivers and then she says it. The words that will change his life forever.

“I’m pregnant,” Jihee confesses and Namjoon stiffens, eyes widening as he looks at her in shock. He tries to speak, stuttering out a few non-sensical words that sound more like random sounds than anything else and Jihee looks at him in fear and worry. It takes him a couple moments to register and process the information. He sits down next to her, staring off into space as he tries to figure out what to do next. There’s no doubt in his mind now, he knows he’s going to stay with Jihee and marry her. But they were still barely adults themselves, going off into university. Finally, he comes to a decision.

“Let’s get married,” Namjoon says out of the blue and Jihee looks at him in shock. This time, it’s her turn to stutter.

“What?!” She screams and Namjoon shrugs.

“I’m being serious. I knew I’d want to marry you after university, but things are just moving quicker than we’d like. I love you Jihee, and I’m willing to stick beside you and raise a family. And I’m not just saying this because you’re pregnant. I mean it. I want to marry you. Ideally, I’d have liked it later on. But now is fine too. It’ll be hard, I can’t promise you an easy life. But, I can promise to love you. We can take up jobs and get Yoongi-hyung to babysit while we attend class. We can do this. Just me and you,” Namjoon says and his steely resolve convinces Jihee. She’s slightly unsure. It seems like hard work and if it were up to her, she’d give up the child. But seeing Namjoon so determined, so ready to commit, convinces her that she’s willing to try. She nods at him uneasily.

“Just you and me Namjoon. Us against the world”, Jihee says softly into the dark night and Namjoon agrees, a silent promise on his lips as he kisses her.

“Just you, me and the baby against the world,” Namjoon whispers against her lips, his hands lightly caressing her stomach.

{Flashback: July 2013}

Namjoon sighs as he enters the small flat. It’s quite cramped and there’s barely space for the four of them, but somehow, he makes it work. He and Jihee had planned for one baby, not two and certainly not fraternal twins. So, it came as quite a surprise when Jimin was followed fourteen minutes later by Taehyung. But, despite how much harder it made their lives, juggling not only university, but their dreams, and two children as well, Namjoon wouldn’t trade his sons for the world. He followed the sounds of baby gurgling and giggles, smiling as he watched Yoongi, Hoseok and Seokjin play with his sons. He continued scanning, sighing when he realised Jihee was nowhere in sight, as usual. Jimin caught sight of his father and immediately squealed in joy, hands reaching out as he grasped the air, motioning Namjoon to pick him up.

Namjoon grinned, deep dimples forming as he took in the sight of his son. Both his sons were on the chubbier side, but Jimin more so, and Namjoon found him unbelievably adorable. Sometimes, he had to refrain from repeatedly pinching and squishing Jimin’s cheeks. It didn’t help when Jimin pouted, plush lips puffing out more than they already did. Namjoon picked his son up, kissing him on the forehead before adjusting Jimin in his hold, allowing him to snuggle in his arms.

Taehyung watched his father and brother, clapping happily from his seat on Seokjin’s lap. Despite being the younger of the two, Taehyung was the more open and the bubblier one while Jimin was a happy but quiet baby. Despite that, the two were as thick as thieves. They were only around half a year old, but they both hated to be separated. They couldn’t even sleep if the two were not somehow touching. It made for adorable photos, Jimin snuggling close to Taehyung as the two slept.

“Typical, as soon as you enter, Jimin no longer wants to hang out with his favourite hyung,” Hoseok pouts and Namjoon rolls his eyes fondly. In reality, he was more than thankful for the three men in his home. He met Hoseok in his music class and Seokjin through Yoongi, as the two were university roommates. The four immediately bonded and he was more grateful than anything that the three helped him take care of his children whenever they could. It meant that Jihee and he could cut down on costs by not needing a baby-sitter unless absolutely necessary.

“Why are you guys still here? I thought Jihee was supposed to be back… three hours ago?” Namjoon asks, looking at his watch. Yoongi glared at Namjoon, in his classic, ‘what do you think happened’ look and Namjoon sighed.

“She had more pressing matters to attend to,” Seokjin spat out. It was no secret that Seokjin hated Jihee. They were both performing arts majors and had met through classes where Seokjin was the teaching assistant. Seokjin had no hard feelings towards her at first, she was driven and always wanted the lead roles but that was a good thing considering the modelling and acting industry was cut-throat at best. However, his hatred towards her developed when he met Namjoon through Yoongi. Seokjin started hating her when realised that Jihee was neglecting her sons and husband, putting all parenting duties onto Namjoon, while she did her best to pursue her dreams. Even if it meant ignoring her family.

“Please don’t start. It was a hard day at work and I still have to finish my assignments. Not to mention I haven’t been able to finish that demo track because of how swamped I am. I don’t want to argue about Jihee on top of this,” Namjoon says and Seokjin immediately deflates, warily taking in the sight of Namjoon. He looked almost defeated, completely downtrodden and tired. Namjoon’s words and haggard form, however, only aided in incensing Yoongi further.

“You can’t keep doing this Namjoon! It’s not fair. You’re supposed to support each other. But here you are, working two jobs to support your family, juggling not one but two degrees and putting your own dreams of making music on the backburner while what? While Jihee just runs around doing what she wants? Chasing her own dreams while you neglect yours? She even quit her fucking job, making you take up another one. She’s never at home to take care of the boys. You’re basically a single dad|” Yoongi grits out and Namjoon winces, holding Jimin closer and bouncing him in his arms.

“Hyung stop now is not the time,” Hoseok says, he can tell Namjoon isn’t in the mood for this conversation. And no matter how much he agrees with Yoongi, Hoseok knows that right now, an argument is the last thing Namjoon needs. Especially with his sons in the room. Yoongi however, ignores Hoseok and continues laying into Namjoon.

“Tell me Namjoon. Why are you still with her? She’s barely at home and when she is, she’s either lounging around or asleep. So why do you still stay with her? Is it out of love? Do you even love her anymore? Or are you just staying out of obligation?” Yoongi asks, his words driving through Namjoon like a knife. Namjoon tenses, pulling Jimin even closer into his body, but still making sure not to hurt him.

If Namjoon was being honest. Yoongi was right. He was staying with Jihee out of obligation. He no longer loved Jihee, nor did he feel anything for her. The love had died sometime after she had given birth. Perhaps it stemmed from the fact that Jihee never grew up and took responsibility, placing it all on Namjoon. Perhaps it stemmed from the distance between them. Perhaps it stemmed from his resentment with her for practically leaving the boys motherless. But whatever the reason was, Namjoon knew he no longer loved her. At least, not the way he used to.

“You need to think about this Namjoon. Maybe it’s worth leaving her. For your own sake and for the sake of your sons” Yoongi finally says, ending his tirade and the four are plunged into a heavy silence. Yoongi’s words echoing in the back of Namjoon’s mind.

{January 2014}

Namjoon enters his flat with a sigh, rubbing his eyes wearily. He throws his bags onto the floor by the door before walking through the dimly lit corridor. He’s surprised by the fact that the living room light is on. It was half-past midnight and his sons should be asleep considering it’s well past their bedtime, especially for one-year-olds. He assumes it’s most likely Yoongi still up after a night of watching the boys but he’s surprised when he enters the living room, only to spot Jihee sitting, staring at the doorway.

“What are you still doing up Jihee?” Namjoon asks, quirking an eyebrow. Usually, by now, Jihee was already in bed if she was home. If not, she was out partying under the guise of ‘creating contacts’. Namjoon had grown wiser to her excuses over the year, however.

“We need to talk. Something has come up” Jihee says, eyeing him warily, her lip pulled between her teeth. Namjoon cocks his eyebrows once again before nodding, taking a seat opposite her.

“Do you remember Jimin and Taehyung’s first birthday?” Jihee asks and Namjoon nods. It was one of the only days Jihee had been home the entire day. Even if it was at Namjoon’s behest. Namjoon could accept her wanting to follow her dreams, he could even accept all the responsibility for his sons. But he needed her to be there on their birthday, it was the only thing he asked for from her since the boys were born. He needed the boys to at least believe and see they had a mother, even if it was only in pictures.

“What about it?” Namjoon asks, wondering where she’s going with this.

“We slept together that night,” Jihee states as a matter of fact and Namjoon nods. It was probably a mistake, but it had been a good month since the two of them had slept together. In fact, sleeping with Jihee was probably the most contact Namjoon had with her since the boys were born. The two never dated, never went out together and didn’t even hang out anymore. Namjoon had no idea who her friends were, or what was happening in her life. The only time they were together was when they needed to relieve stress and tension and during that, they were too busy fucking to speak about their days.

“Yeah, okay. What about it?” Namjoon asks, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

“I’m pregnant again,” Jihee says blankly, staring him dead in the eyes and Namjoon stiffens before exploding.

“HOW?! We’ve always been so careful! Is it even mine?” Namjoon shouts, eyes narrowing and Jihee looks affronted by his accusation. Namjoon immediately regrets his decision to yell when twin cries are heard from Jimin and Taehyung’s bedroom. He sends her a quick glare before stalking into their room. As soon as he sees them, his eyes soften and he coos at them, picking them up and bouncing them in his arms to quieten them down.

“How dare you even ask me that?” Jihee spits back, her teeth gritting while Namjoon rolls his eyes.

“Please be quiet, can’t you see I’m trying to put them back to sleep? And oh, don’t give me that look. I know you’re sleeping around. Jin-hyung told me. And quite frankly, I don’t care. I just want to know if the baby is mine or not,” Namjoon snaps back and Jihee reels back, Namjoon getting a sick sense of satisfaction from her look of guilt.

“Right, well. It’s definitely yours. I’ve been using protection with everyone else and I make sure they pull out before they cum, even if they’re wearing a condom. You’re still the only one I sleep with unprotected,” Jihee replies and Namjoon lets out a sigh. He finally calms down the boys and puts them back in their cots, watching them with gentle eyes. He reaches down and runs his finger along Taehyung’s face, bopping his nose and watching with a smile as Taehyung snuggles into his hand before drawing closer to Jimin. Namjoon closes his eyes, rubbing his face in weary frustration before turning to Jihee. He motions her to follow him out of their room, before turning around and closing the door, leaving it slightly ajar in case the boys begin crying at night.

“So, what do you want to do?” Namjoon asks, turning back and staring down at her.

“I was thinking of having an-“ Jihee begins nervously and Namjoon’s ire rises.

“Don’t- don‘t say it,” Namjoon cuts her off and Jihee narrows her eyes.

“It’s my body Namjoon. You’re not the one who has to go through the pregnancy. I am,” Jihee seethes back and Namjoon’s shoulders deflate.

“Fuck. You’re right. You’re right.I- It may be hard, but I don’t want you to go through with it. It’s my child too and I don’t want you to just… get rid of it. But whatever you decide, I’ll stick by it. Whether I like it or not,” Namjoon responds finally and Jihee nods.

Namjoon watches Jihee contemplate her next decisions with bated breath. Nervousness fills him. He knows that getting rid of the child is the easier way out. Not that it would be easy, but with the twins already and with how hard he has to work to support them, he knows there’s no way it’s possible for him to bring in another child into this world. But the thought of even getting rid of the child makes his stomach turn. He imagines what would have happened to Jimin and Taehyung if they had decided to have an abortion back then, and his heart breaks even more. He can’t imagine a world without his sons and he knows that if they go through with this now, years down the line, he’ll wonder what his life would be with the child they lost.

“Okay. Fine. We’ll keep the baby. Against my better judgement. I don’t know how this will play out Namjoon, and I hope you know the sacrifice I’m making to my career for this. To make you happy. Because despite everything, part of me still loves you and wants you to be happy. And if that means keeping this baby, so be it,” Jihee finally responds, and Namjoon sighs in relief. He steps forward and hugs Jihee, Jihee stiffening at the affectionate touch.

“Thank you” Namjoon whispers into the night and Jihee nods, her fists clenched by her sides and wondering if she’s made a mistake.

{January 2015}

Namjoon and Hoseok smile brightly at each other, dressed in their graduation robes and hat. Seokjin and Yoongi stand beside them. Both had already graduated but were back to see Hoseok and Namjoon graduate. Yoongi was holding a small 5-month old Jungkook in his arms, the baby sleeping, soft snores escaping him every now and then. Seokjin was holding Jimin and Taehyung’s hands, both standing up on either side of him as they squirmed, trying to get closer to their father. Seokjin however, had a tight grip on them, lest they ruin Namjoon’s rented graduation clothes.

“I can’t believe we made it,” Namjoon says, staring at his reflection in shock. His hair was styled so it was out of his eyes, dressed smartly in a suit. Now at 21, he looked almost unrecognisable from the 18-year-old who had just become a father and was struggling between university and children.

“I can’t believe you graduated with not one but two degrees at the top of your class all while being a father. I barely graduated myself,” Hoseok responds and the four of them laugh.

“Did you forget you’ve also graduated in two degrees? Music and Dance? Not to mention you’re the top of the class in Dance,” Namjoon replies and Hoseok laughs loudly, his laugh setting off Jimin and Taehyung.

“Have you seen Jihee?” Hoseok asks after a while and Namjoon sighs.

“No. Not since exams at least. She’s graduating at the top of her class too though, so she’ll be bound to be here at graduation somewhere,” Namjoon replies with a shrug.

“Is she not going to see the boys at all? You’d think she’d want her husband and children with her,” Yoongi spits and Namjoon wants to respond, but he can’t find it in him to defend Jihee. In the two years of Jimin and Taehyung’s life, Namjoon can count the times she was a real mother on his two hands. However, with Jungkook, Jihee was completely different. She practically ignored his existence and didn’t interact with him at all. That was the line for Namjoon’s tolerance of her. He couldn’t accept her cold ignorance of their youngest son. Since Jungkook was born, Namjoon decided to leave her on her own. He didn’t even ask her to spend the twins’ birthday with them. Instead, the day was spent with Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi and his sons at a park enjoying themselves.

“Come on, let’s go. We all need to find our seats, graduation begins in half an hour,” Seokjin says, ushering the lot of them out. The ceremony flies in a blur, Namjoon too focused on how his sons are faring with Yoongi and Seokjin to care. He watches as Hoseok is called up, clapping loudly as his best friend takes his diploma. Some more time passes and then it’s his name.

He stands up proudly, and walks to the Principal, collecting his diploma. He spots his own parents, staring at him in pride. He spots his sons, Taehyung sitting on Seokjin’s shoulders, while he holds Jimin up in his arms, all three of them waving happily. Yoongi even lifts a now awake Jungkook up, making the little boy wave. Namjoon’s smile deepens and he has to blink away the tears. It had been a hard few years and he was more tired than anything. But he did it. He made it through everything. For his sons.

Briefly, Namjoon catches the eyes of Jihee’s parents, her mother glaring harshly at him while her father smirks smugly. However, Namjoon is filled with too much happiness and pride to care. He walks off the podium and back to his seat, mindlessly listening as more names are called. He hears Jihee’s name being called out and looks over to her. The two catch eyes and his brows furrow at the slightly guilty look in her eyes when she spots him. He briefly wonders what it means but decides to ignore it instead. Finally, a couple of hours later, graduation is over. Namjoon looks around for Hoseok, however, his search is halted when Jihee walks over to him nervously. He looks at her in confusion and opens his mouth to congratulate her, however, he’s cut off by her words.

“Namjoon. Can we go somewhere to speak? Privately?” Jihee asks and Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow but he nods his assent, following Jihee. Momentarily, he catches Hoseok’s eyes and gestures for him to head back to Yoongi and Seokjin. Jihee pulls him to the side, away from the bustle of graduation and Namjoon watches as she rummages through her bags until she pulls out some papers.

“Let’s get an annulment Namjoon,” Jihee finally says and Namjoon stands in shock, blinking owlishly at her words.

“What?!” Namjoon sputters and Jihee sighs.

“Please. You and I both know this isn’t working out. I’ve had this planned for a while. Since I was pregnant with Jungkook actually. The only reason I went through that pregnancy was that I knew it would make you happy and because I knew that when I asked for this, I’d have more leverage for you to say yes,” Jihee begins and Namjoon’s anger begins to rise.

“Leverage? Did you agree to have Jungkook as leverage? Fucking hell, he’s our son, not a bargaining token. I would have signed these fucking papers with or without him. What the fuck is wrong with you Jihee?” Namjoon spits out, tone laced with disgust and Jihee reels from his anger.

“Namjoon calm down. A family was never what I wanted. You know that. I’ve been scouted by a company, and my parents and I think it’s best if I separate from you and your sons. If you sign these papers, our marriage will be annulled, as if it never happened and I’m even giving you full custody. They aren’t my sons anymore. But let’s be real they never were. Besides, you’ve practically given up on your dream and I can’t see you going anywhere anytime soon and that could negatively impact my future. Both my parents and my agent think I need to do what’s best for my career and I agree. So please just sign the papers,” Jihee says and Namjoon’s fists clench tightly.

“I’ve given up on my dream? Are you fucking insane? Or maybe you’re so far up your own ass you didn’t even realise you put all the responsibility of raising my sons onto me. I didn’t have time for a fucking dream between juggling my two degrees, two jobs and my two, - now three - sons while all you did was fuck about and follow your own dreams selfishly. What happened to the sweet Jihee I fell in love with? The one who believed in my dreams as well as her own? The one who’d stick by me through thick and thin. I don’t fucking know you anymore,” Namjoon seethes and Jihee shrugs.

“She grew up. My industry is relentless and selfish. I need to do what’s right for me. I’m sorry Namjoon. Will you sign the papers?” Jihee asks and Namjoon grits his teeth, snatching them away from her.

“Give me a couple of days to read through this. I’m not going to have you cheat me into signing anything I haven’t read. But if everything is fine, I’ll sign the damn papers and we can both get out of each other’s lives. For good,” Namjoon finally snarls before turning and leaving.

“Namjoon, I’m sorry,” Jihee calls out and Namjoon stops in his tracks, stiffening slightly. There’s regret in her voice - mixed with a smidgeon of guilt - and he can hear them both clearly. But he doesn’t care.

“Go fuck yourself Jihee,” Namjoon snorts before continuing to walk away from her.

{End of Flashbacks: Present Day}

“I don’t know if you know, but Seokjin is a chaebol and he let Namjoon use his lawyers to go through the contract for free. Everything was fine, an annulment and Namjoon getting full custody of the boys, with Jihee even signing off her rights as a mother. A couple of months after that, Jin created JinHit entertainment and hired me, Namjoon and Hoseok as his first artists. And well, you know the story from there. Throughout it all, Namjoon tried his hardest to succeed for his sons and eventually, they made it. But, considering the past and everything that happened with Jihee, you can see why he’s so angered by mentions of her,” Yoongi finishes his story, but there’s not much you can do. You’re shocked still, unable to respond. Part of you feels bad for everything Namjoon had to go through, another part of you feels complete admiration for how well he’s done for himself. The last part of you has lost all the respect you had for Oh Jihee.

“Is part of that why Namjoon kept the boys hidden from the public?” you ask cautiously and Yoongi nods.

“Partly yeah. Jihee and Namjoon are both high profile celebrities and with the past, it made the most sense to keep them out of the public eye. Not to mention, he wanted to keep them away from the press and stalkers who could harm them,” Yoongi explains and you nod in response.

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. I can understand why he was so angry I mentioned her,” you reply, your tone laced with understanding but Yoongi shrugs in response.

“Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t overreact,” Yoongi replies and you open your mouth to defend Namjoon only to be interrupted.

“He’s right. I did overreact and I apologise for that. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. It wasn’t your fault and you had no idea about Jihee,” Namjoon says as he enters the kitchen, bowing deeply in apology. You immediately wave him off.

“No, no! It’s okay really! I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sure it must have been hard for you and the boys,” you reply and this time Namjoon waves you off. Yoongi nods to Namjoon before getting up and leaving the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone.

“Not really. Jihee was never around even when we were together. The boys have never known what a mother is. I’m their only parental figure along with Seokjin-hyung, Yoongi-hyung and Hoseok. But I don’t think they’ve had a bad childhood you know? It may have been hard, but I did whatever I could to give them a good life. I tried to take them on tour whenever I could, so I could show them different places and teach them about different cultures. Everyone will tell you I spoil them but can you blame me? I know they’re missing a mother and I don’t want them to feel like it’s their fault they don’t have one. So, I do whatever I can for them. Even if it means spoiling them to distract them from what they are missing,” Namjoon says sagely and you smile timidly at him.

“I don’t think they’re spoiled. I think they’re wonderful children and you’ve raised them well. And even if they are missing a mother, I don’t think they’re missing out on much because it seems like you’ve been the best parent figure you could be. It may not mean much coming from me because I don’t know you well enough, but from what I’ve seen, you’re a wonderful dad Namjoon and they’re great kids. Really great kids. You did well,” you say earnestly and Namjoon smiles softly at you.

“It does. Mean something that is. Thank you,” Namjoon responds sincerely. The two of you sit in the quiet of the kitchen, the silence heavy with emotion but not uncomfortable. It doesn’t last long however, cause suddenly the twins are running into the kitchen, their eyes lighting up when they spot you.

“____-noona! You came! Daddy, why didn’t you tell us?” Taehyung asks, stomping his foot slightly and both you and Namjoon laugh at his gesture.

“Sorry tiger, but you were so busy playing with Jaewoo and Sungwoo, I didn’t want to disturb you,” Namjoon says and this time Jimin pouts.

“You’re being selfish daddy, you can’t have ____-noona to yourself! We want to play too,” Jimin pouts, latching onto your leg and the both of you blush when you hear Sooyun, Seokjin and Hoseok snickering from the doorway.

“Yeah, you’re being selfish daddy,” Hoseok teases, copying Jimin’s words and emphasising the word ‘daddy’; making Seokjin and Sooyun laugh even louder.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough. I think it’s time for cake, don’t you? I got Jiminie’s favourite,” Namjoon says as he walks to the fridge, pulling out a large frosted cake. Jimin squeals, running up to his father and jumping up and down to try and get to the cake. Namjoon only laughs, before gently calming Jimin down.

“Calm down pup or daddy will spill the cake and you won’t get any,” Namjoon says gently and immediately Jimin stills, eyes wide in fear at the thought of not getting any cake. Namjoon carefully takes the cake out into the living room, everyone except Seokjin following him. You begin walking behind the entourage only for Seokjin to stop you with a mischievous smile.

“So, you don’t happen to have a daddy kink by any chance?” Seokjin teasingly asks with a wink and you immediately stiffen, face flush with heat from your embarrassment. Seokjin takes in your appearance before running away, his squeaky windshield wiper laugh following him and leaving you all alone in the kitchen.

You immediately smack your cheeks and shake your head, trying to get his words out of your mind. now that you think about it, maybe you do mind being in Namjoon’s life.

Especially if it means you’re the constant victim of Hoseok and Seokjin’s teasing.

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this chapter, why not check out my other stories? ^.^

▷ Masterlist | Chapter 3

[jeontification]

journey with kpop

tagged by @ana0072 (via @/junvenescence)

[forewarning: i’m about to take this way back, so this is going to be really long. rip.]

i believe my journey with kpop began with super junior’s “sorry sorry.” i remember i was at the mall with my family and there was this some sort of mall show that was supposed to happen later on. i couldn’t remember what the mall show even was for (not that it was relevant), i just remember that they kept blasting “sorry sorry.”

i suppose super junior gained popularity in my country around that time, but i wasn’t really one to follow with trends — so naturally, i didn’t give them much attention. plus, i was extremely young and was too studious. i remember appreciating “sorry sorry” (and also “mr. simple” when people in my country started playing it), but i didn’t go beyond knowing kpop in passing.

i remember dancing to 2ne1’s “fire” for a school event. i remember only knowing about 2ne1 because sandara park is a quite popular celebrity where i grew up. during my childhood, i was certain that 2ne1 was the only kpop group i was somehow most familiar with, purely because of that reason.

when kpop started to be popular amongst a few of my classmates, i remember hearing them mention snsd/girls’ generation a lot. still, kpop remained something that i know about, but didn’t really bother to dive into.

not even when one of my fanboy classmates asked me to trace a picture of exo’s sehun one time. (i felt like i needed to include this.)

after moving to another country, my exposure to kpop (and consequentially, kdrama) lessened significantly. no one was blasting korean songs out of the blue. there was no dubbed kdramas in the television.

being in a country that seems to be a stark contrast of my birth country, i didn’t even expect one of my classmates to know about kpop. when i found out she did, i kept asking her questions. still, at this time, i didn’t care for kpop — i couldn’t even remember most of what she told me (except for the fact that i somehow distinctly remember her talking about bts and mentioning jungkook’s name).

albeit that classmate and i weren’t close, i know — as a fangirl myself — that talking about her favorite boys gives her a kind of happiness only they can give, so i didn’t really mind not understanding most of what she was talking about. besides talking about her favorite groups, though, she also told me about the korean age and what a bias meant.

suddenly knowing more than i intended to still didn’t convince me, either.

not even when i stumbled upon a bts interview in an american award show. nor when i later found out that there were more kpop stans around me than i initially thought.

when i started going to a new school, i occasionally talk about kpop to my new friend after i learned that she listens to kpop. i usually ask her questions — mostly about the things i see on stan twitter. she didn’t try to get me into kpop, though, so i didn’t.

i actually thought it would stay that way . . . until my sister stumbled upon bts’ “boy with luv.” when she started playing it repeatly, i knew i was in trouble. based on experience, whatever my sister get into, i somehow get into it as well. and i was right.

next thing i knew, i was watching old music videos and crack videos with my sister. i already created a whole playlist with all the recommendations from my aforementioned friend (who happens to be a bts-ult). i even started learning their names, with the assistance of my friend.

it was just bts for a while, even after i started listening to txt. suffice to say, i was determined to keep it that way.

i wasn’t planning on completely diving into kpop. at all.

but, alas, the universe had other plans.

i started to go through the same process i did with bts shortly after i heard nct 127’s “paper plane.” i’m highkey blaming mark lee on this one because i only wanted to know if he sings or raps, but i ended up memorizing twenty-one new names and faces on top of understanding the whole nct concept.

then enter got7, exo, stray kids, and day6. frankly, i never intended to get attached to multiple groups/bands (regardless whether it was fully or partially) — even if, during this time, the strongest attachment i have was with bts. at this point, i was way past caring, honestly.

i started casually listening to seventeen after seeing a tweet about seventeen’s “lie again” making op cry. at first, i didn’t feel the need to get to know them beyond their songs — just like with every other kpop artists i listen to that i never bothered to go further than appreciating their music and thus not developing any attachments. but, after watching their knowing bros episode (and just . . . dying of laughter and amusement simultaneously), i — once again — started the process of falling for another group.

i’m not quite sure if my attachment for each group/band fades over time, i just know the intensity of such attachments becomes less intense after a while (probably because i eventually get used to them being a part of my life).

the one i have for seventeen is yet to tone down, though, even if it has been literally half a year (and counting!). frankly, i sincerely hope my attachment to them never does, but, alas, i can never be sure with the universe.

truth be told, i’m not quite sure why i declare seventeen as my ult group. whatever my reason is, though, i know it definitely is a mix of things that even i can’t fathom.

tl;dr: it takes me a little bit over a year (upon entering the kpop hole) to become a seventeen-ult multi kpop stan after an excessive amount of possible foreshadowing throughout my life. and i’m pretty i’m not done going through this journey yet, rip.

[chaoticneutralwriter]

Worlds Collide

Never in your years of being alive on this shitty rock of a planet did you think you would have the problem of dealing with not one but two demons invading your life now. Here, in this economy, as if you already don’t have enough problems to begin with. Now you’re left with what you see are two choices: go to church and attempt to repent,.... Or get them to stan BTS (hey, it’s the least they can do after stealing two of the member’s identities).

guardian demon! Jimin x reader ft. demon! Jungkook

genre: slice of life, comedy, romance, fluff, supernatural, slow-burn

word count: 7.8k

Related works: see masterlist

In direct continuation of Another Variable

A/N: omggg.... I’m baack....LOLL As pointed out, this picks up right after the installment Another Variable so give that a read before jumping into this! But other than, thank you for the patience and I hope this doesn’t disappoint! sdfkhsdgh

You blink. Hard.

 But he doesn’t go away like some sort of spectre or figment of your imagination like you expect him to.

 So you try again, vaguely wondering if you’re maybe in some sort of fever dream instead.

 Because there’s just no way. No way that this is real.

 Dark doe eyes continue to stare back at you, crinkling in obvious amusement, head tilted almost innocently. The shift in his head allows for the faint moonlight seeping through your windows to illuminate the sharp line of his jaw while most of his face is hidden in dark shadows, making his eyes seem to glow eerily. And then like a hawk curiously watching its prey from afar, he tilts his head back slightly to look down his nose at you and to your astonishment, you see those dark orbs shift to take on a more feline, golden haze.

 “So you’re her….” His voice vibrates louder in the deafening silence of your darkened room. You find your breath hitching at the sound because it solidifies the reality of his presence. It takes you back to the first time you met Jimin, your mind failing to process that Jeon Jungkook, golden maknae of worldwide South Korean boy band BTS, is standing in your room, eating your chocolate bar in all of his most-likely-six-pack wielding, 5’10” glory.

 The toothy bunny grin he’s sporting threatens to widen and it would be cute any other time had it not been for the tinge of devious intent oozing from it. He sets down the candy treat before he moves, taking advantage of your stunned state to stalk forward, long legs making it so that he closes the distance between you with ease. You jump start with a gasp, your own pair of legs struggling to function and you stumble as you step back. You’re half falling backwards and half fighting to stay upright until you unintentionally slam back against the wall of the hallway. Before you can scramble away, a hand shoots out to grab your wrist, pinning you to the wall but also trapping you up close and a little too personal with the undeniably handsome man.

 “Quite frankly I’m a little disappointed; you’re not exactly the poppet I imagined you to be.”

 Your body tenses and automatically tries to lean away from him in an attempt to put some space between you two (and actually see his face because at this distance, you’re only getting chest). His grip on you is warm, way warmer than a human’s should be unless they’ll be mistaken for running a fever so that only further confirms your suspicions. That only leaves one more curious thing niggling at you.

  “How— Whe—Why’re you…?” You’re tongue-tied in trying to word this question of yours but stop prematurely to squeak when this carbon copy of Jungkook leans his face closer to yours. His gaze is intense on you and you can’t help but to break eye contact multiple times out of sheer intimidation. You feel the heat your face has gotten to when he chuffs a laugh, breath ghosting over your warming skin.

 “On second thought, I think you’ll be fun to play with.”

 It all happens so fast but in slow motion at the same time. In the split second Jungkook shifts his attention to something off the side, his weight and grip is suddenly lifted off of you and all that remains was a whoosh of air tickling your cheeks and a few strands of hair. Like thunder and lightening, the flooding of light blinds you momentarily before a crashing sound meets your ear. You blink a few times, allowing for your eyes to finally adjust and pinpoint the source.

 You immediately recognize the smaller figure of Jimin, standing right in front of you despite having his back facing your way. In doing so, you can’t see his expression but you feel that you didn’t need to in order to guess that he’s not too happy with this visitor — his shoulders are tense as they heaved in the slightest bit, almost like he had rushed over here as fast as his demonic abilities allowed him to, in fact, the edges of his body still singed with leftover wisps of that black smoke he always seems to emit whenever he teleports.

 “I thought I smelled a rat….” The voice that comes pouring out of your guardian demon sends unintentional chills down your spine. His words growled out with an almost animalistic quality, an octave lower than you were used to hearing and a distortion leaking through at the very edges that reminded you of the first time you’ve spoken to him that faithful night.

 “I was beginning to wonder when you’ll show up brother.” You hear Jungkook rasp breathlessly and belatedly, you realize that in Jimin’s hasty entrance, he caught Jungkook by the throat and slammed him into the wall, catching the light switch along the way. Unamused, Jimin’s hand tightens its hold and the younger coughs.

 “Why are you here.”

 “No reason.”

 “Don’t toy with me.”

 Another choked laugh, followed by a cough and you’re actually beginning to worry for the man (demon?) despite him scaring you half to death with his arrival. Peering over Jimin’s shoulders, your wide eyes dart from Jungkook who’s grinning despite losing air at a rapid pace, face turning pallid and Jimin who’s dark crimson glare is threatening to burn a hole into the taller male’s head if his grip on him doesn’t do it first (you swear you see it beginning to smoke). You fidget in your spot, not wanting to have to deal with whatever mess Jimin may induce if he decides to scorch this newcomer on the spot (which he looks very close to doing). So you bite the bullet, hoping to diffuse the tension enough so that if he does, he’ll at least take it outside.

 “H-hey..? Uh…um…Jimin….?”

 “I’m a little busy doll.” He grits out, eyes still trained on Jungkook.

 “Yes, I see that. But just my opinion….” You raise a finger to jab into his raised arm, the pad meeting a solid wall of flexed muscles. The action shifts it slightly off target and draws Jimin’s piercing eyes onto you. “I think you should let him go.”

 The shorter demon balks at your suggestion, eyes growing wide as he incredulously says, “You can’t be serious. I don’t think I need to spell it out for you to know what he is.” His eyes flits briefly back to Jungkook to take in his appearance, dubiously. “As to why he looks like that…”

 “I know. But just maybe you shouldn’t choke him out and demand answers from him at the same time; it’s kind of counter-productive seeing as he can’t answer properly because he can’t breathe anyways.” And I don’t want you to ruin my new wallpaper.

 Jimin’s lips part in protest again but the words don’t come out as you meet his hard stare head on with conviction. His eyes searches yours and you soften, seeing the questions lingering in them, which makes you take a hold of his bicep, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 He didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.

 You see his gaze flicker to the demon he’s holding and then back again to you before he huffs out in annoyance. His hand loosens its hold and Jungkook, despite his bravado, gasps in a lungful of air gratefully. However, it still doesn’t wipe away that shit-eating grin on his face as he regards you and then Jimin.

 “What a curious little human. Now I see how you became so easily attached.”

 Jimin maneuvers his hand to roughly grip the collar of Jungkook’s shirt, giving one harsh shove against the wall in warning. The taller demon grunts as the back of his head hits it with a loud thud. You wince; hoping that there won’t be a dent you would have to explain to Jaehee once this is all over.

 “You should be grateful that she’s so benevolent. Now tell me; what are you doing here?” He spits out each word with a promise that if the latter doesn’t answer satisfactorily, he won’t hesitate to send him back to hell, first class.

 “Relax brother, I was just in the neighbourhood and wanted to stop by for a visit. Can you blame me for being a little interested in the human who’s managed to steal your attention, so much so that you neglect your duties as a servant of hell?”

 You perk up at this little tidbit of information. Jimin was neglecting his duties as a demon? Was that what his performance evaluation said and the reason why he’s been going out nightly for these past few weeks? You frown but you suppose it makes sense; Jimin is a demon first and a guardian second. He’s expressed that clearly numerous times when he told you that this guardian gig is a side thing meant to punish him. What he does best above all else is wreaking havoc on unsuspecting souls. Such is the nature of a demon but nowadays you find you have trouble remembering that fact when it comes to him.

 This slip of tongue doesn’t please your guardian demon as he narrows his eyes. “That is none of your business. If you have nothing more important to say then I suggest you leave.”

 “I must say, this overprotectiveness is a new side I never thought I’d live to see from you.” Jungkook completely brushes aside Jimin’s threat with a teasing remark. “It’s rather refreshing and precious. Ah, how you’ve grown…”

 “Might I remind you who’s the older one here.” Jimin’s grip tightens a fraction. “And much stronger.”

 “True, but alas height is something you have yet to gain over me.”

 A wheeze unintentionally escapes you and you had to slap a hand over your mouth to hide the creeping smile threatening to burst through the seams of your lips. However, the noise doesn’t escape the keen hearing of the demons in the room, their eyes automatically focused on you. Jimin is less than amused, the tips of his ears tinging red as he glares at you while Jungkook unabashedly grins until his eyes are creasing, smug. Visibly, you see the tension between the two die down somewhat and through the initial hostility, you get a sense that your guardian and this demon have known each other for quite some time, their banter coming naturally (albeit a little violently). You clear your throat, feeling your own cheeks heat up at suddenly being the centre of attention.

 “Forgive my rudeness, I should probably introduce myself.” Jungkook breaks the ice, ready to give what you assume is his name but then he stops himself, blinking in realization. “Ah, I suppose I can’t give you my actual name. It won’t sit too well with my dear brother here.” He gives a nod to Jimin who only shoots him a look of disdain. He pays it no mind. “So what do you call this one? The one who’s face I am wearing?”

 “Er….Jungkook…” You answer back, mildly bemused.

 “Jungkook…” He tests out the name for himself before nodding in approval. “Interesting…Okay then. And you are?”

 “Don’t—“

 “Y/N….?”

 Your guardian sighs out heavily, head slumped down in defeat while Jungkook smiles triumphantly. You blink in confusion at the exchange. Were you not supposed to say your name…?

 “Y/N…. I see. And from now on I’ll be Jungkook.” He declares with another nod to himself until he pauses, head cocking as if a thought had crossed his mind. Newly declared Jungkook zeroes in on Jimin, eyes full of concern but heavily veiled by a mischievous glint that overrides any of the sincerity. ”I must say brother, it seems you’ve drawn the short end of the stick here.”

 Jimin whips his head up at that. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 “Well clearly I’m the better looking of the two. Of all the ones in the picture, you pick him?”

 “Hey!” You find your voice echoing that of your guardian’s, both of you sounding equal parts indignant. The outburst startles you and you pause to watch Jimin finally release his grip on Jungkook to showcase just how offended he is.

 “Don’t you know the first rule to being a demon? Always—“

 “Take on the image of a familiar being in order to gain a mortal’s trust and vulnerability, yaddy yaddy yada.” The younger demon flippantly recites, though he’s clearly more focused on rolling and rubbing his neck out to elevate the strain it has been put under. “But really though, you had such a wide selection; who knew humans could be that attractive! If I hadn’t known any better, I would’ve thought they were something the likes of an incubus would conjure up. I mean, look at these!”

 Shamelessly, the doppelgänger Jungkook reaches for the hem of his shirt and pulls it upwards, allowing you to get a full view (and confirm) of the six-pack abs the real Jungkook himself is notorious for having. You feel your eyes bulge out at the sight of the defined ridges despite feeling like your entire face is also on the verge of burning off. Jimin takes one look at them and scoffs with a loud roll of his eyes but when he notices your obvious ogling, he delivers a hard smack against the surface of muscles.

 “Quit it. They’re not even yours to brag.”

 “Well she’s seems to enjoy it.” Jungkook lets the shirt fall back into place as he shoots you a salacious smirk. Your eyes immediately avert elsewhere,

 “A word in private…Now.” Jimin commands, a scowl marring his beautiful face as he takes Jungkook by the collar of his shirt again, forcibly dragging him towards the direction of the living room. The younger shoots you a cute wave to which you return perplexedly. Still, you can’t help but watch them go in amusement, the whole interaction reminded you way too much of how the actual Jimin and Jungkook acted in real life (almost). Just when you think it’s a strange place to have a private chat, the two vanish in a puff of black smoke, startling you but leaving you finally in peace and quiet to let the events sink in.

 -

 “Ow, ow, ow this height thing is starting to become a detriment to my health.” Jungkook whines as he suddenly finds himself being dragged across a rooftop building. The night air is crisp with the moon shining high in the sky and though he doesn’t know exactly where he is, he thinks the view of the cityscape below is charming. It’s been a while since he’s actually paid a visit to this part of the mortal planes, given his status that he can’t stay for long periods of time – it never gave him a reason to check up on this place in particular. Well, he inwardly smiles to himself, that’s all about to change now.

 His thoughts were cut short once he feels Jimin’s grip on him loosen and disappear altogether. It leaves him stumbling forward to regain balance from the abrupt lost of support. Jungkook runs a hand through his dark brunette hair, mussing the locks before he straightens his shirt and dusts his pants.

 “So, what is it that you would like to discuss while gracing me with such a romantic night view?”

 Jimin sighs out deeply, head throbbing and exasperation overwhelming every fibre of his being as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Turning, he fixes the younger demon with a glower. “Why are you here?”

 “I believe I already answered that.”

 “Okay then how are you here? I thought you had an assignment or something that Lucy gave you. And what’s with the get-up?”

 “Just visiting on a visa, as per usual. And I’m on break, so I figured; why not visit my favourite brother and his new charge? As for the look,” Jungkook twirls, arms spread out like he’s showing off the new outfit he just bought instead of a whole new human meat suit he’s acquired. “Isn’t it a fine specimen? The face of a cherub and the body of a Greek sculpture — the perfect trap for hunters such as ourselves.”

 “If the body is anything like a Greek sculpture then I fear you’ve just greatly compromised yourself in other places.”

 Jungkook blinks wide eyed at Jimin’s statement, not understanding the jab, brows furrowing in on themselves. A grin itches to overtake the guardian demon’s face as he watches the cogs in his junior’s head tick until finally…

 “Hey!”

 Jimin throws his head back as a bark of laughter escapes him. His body bends over as he continues laughing and clutching his stomach at the sight of a bewildered Jungkook pouting, red cheeks and even going as far as looking down the crotch of his tight jeans. Once Jimin’s spiel has tapers off into small, hiccupping squeaks does he straighten up, sauntering over to clap a hand over the younger’s shoulder.

 “You should probably get that sorted out.”

 “Might I remind you that we’re demons who can alter our appearances at will any time, any where? I’m hurt brother; it almost feels like you’re trying to get rid of me.”

 “That’s because I am.” Jimin rebuttals without missing a beat before striding off. He stops just at the edge of the building, taking in the view of the city indifferently. “Don’t take it personally, I would’ve enjoyed your visit any other time, but now is not it.”

 Jungkook chuckles, going over to stand beside him. “Is it because of her? You know, I didn’t believe the reports when they first came in – you slacking off as a demon, all because of a human girl? Ha!” He shakes his head, the idea seemingly ridiculous at the time until he steals a glance at Jimin with a tilt of his head. “But now I’m beginning to think otherwise.”

 Jimin doesn’t respond, obsidian eyes looking far off into the distance but not seeing anything, expression carefully blank. It further intrigues the young demon as he looks for any telltale signs that would give away to what’s going through the mind of his good friend and mentor because true to the many times he’s expressed it now, he’s never seen the older demon acting like this before. For as long as Jungkook’s known him, Jimin was a demon through and through with a matching devil may care attitude and a penchant for pushing the envelope one too many time to boot. ‘Caring’ is a term that didn’t exist in his dictionary unless it came to his fellow kinsman (but even then, setting each other on fire out of pettiness can hardly pass as light gestures of affection).

 He was cold, indifferent to the struggles of mankind and reveled in their own self-sabotaging ways. So imagine the surprise Jungkook gets when he learns that not only has Jimin been succeeding at being a guardian but also possibly grown attached to his charge, all without tying her up and locking her in the basement at least once? The feat itself should be impossible, but who was he to say? After all, this is Jimin he’s talking about and he’s no stranger to doing some pretty impossible things. Jungkook can attest to that.

 “She must be something special if the tables have turned so drastically like this.” The younger demon says, coming off seemingly offhanded yet a secret smile plays at the edge of his lips. It stretches further when Jimin finally turns to meet his gaze, face still inscrutable but Jungkook catches the flicker of deep ruby as well as an unnamed emotion passing through his irises. The two demons stare at each other, golden topaz clashing with crimson in a silent battle of dissecting one another.

 It goes on for a few more tense minutes before Jungkook sees the red hues receding, Jimin’s gaze muting to their passive warm brown again. Eventually, he lets out a heavy sigh — the only sign of his disgruntlement.

 “If you’re not going to leave, then I advise not talking to her while you’re here.”

 “You say that as if my presence threatens you.” Jungkook chides playfully.

 “Hardly.” Jimin snorts, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants. “I didn’t, but I can and will break your neck.”

 “You wouldn’t; you love me too much.” The younger laughs. He says that but he still feels the ghosting pressure on his throat threatening to crush his windpipes. He won’t admit it, but he had for a split second questioned whether or not he had been a little too forward with his greeting with you to warrant such a response from the elder (was it that serious?).

 Jimin only shoots Jungkook an enigmatic look, holding it for a second longer before sauntering off without so much as another word. It leaves the younger quite taken aback and just as he’s about to voice his indignation, the pseudo-guardian dissipates, leaving only a trail of black smoke.

 Alone, Jungkook blinks before he lets out a disbelieving, breathy chortle. He’s not sure what to do with himself, or with this new piece of information he’s been witnessed to. It’s a game changer, a big one at that and the wild card of it all has no doubt intrigued Jungkook, to the point where he’s willing to risk his neck (literally) to find out more — who you are, how you manage to invoke such a change in Jimin, your relationship and how this will ultimately all end.

 He lets out another chuckle to himself, hand reaching up unconsciously to rub at his neck. One thing Jungkook knows for sure though —

 It’s pretty serious.

 -

 “You know, I was told to not talk to you if I ever see you….” You say with uncertainty, eyes glued to his tall figure as you watch him rummage around in your kitchen from the threshold. It’s the weekend and you had plans to sleep in, stay at home and laze around in your PJs all day because quite frankly, you don’t think you can function in society properly after your life has been uprooted again by the addition of another demon (never in your life had you imagined you would actually be saying that sentence). So yes, you think you deserve the time to process it all.

 It was going well for the most part — you almost tricked yourself into thinking you live a normal, un-supernatural ridden life until from your room, you hear a clatter of noise drifting out from the kitchen. At first you thought it was Jaehee, home early from running her errands but when you went to go check, you nearly scream in alarm at the sight that greeted you instead.

 After shushing you to not alert the hound (aka Jimin), the young demon parading around as Jungkook proceeds to snoop around more, opening drawers and cabinets at first out of curiosity, but then escalating to full-blown scavenging once he discovers your snack stash, sampling every type he lays his eyes on.

 “I told you already, I’m not here to hurt you and he won’t hurt me if he finds out I’ve been talking to you. He’ll get a little pissy sure, but believe it or not, Jimin — ” He stops turning to you with furrowed brows, “That’s your name for him right?”

 You nod slowly, watching him stuff another cookie into his mouth, making one side of his cheek puff out like a hamster.

 “Jimin and I are actually good friends — and that’s rare for demons. So he won’t actually try to seriously incinerate me if you and I hung out for like, ten minutes.” Jungkook grabs for a rolled up bag of Doritos, unfurling it and reaching in to take a chip, eating it. He pauses again, a thoughtful look crossing his face before he whips his gaze to you, a look of dead seriousness as his dark eyes bore into you. You stiffen at the intensity and sudden 180-degree change to his otherwise light-hearted demeanour.

 “But in case he does find out, you’re backing me up right?”

 Your own brows furrow in response and a wry smile makes its way onto your lips. You’re at a loss for words at his shamelessness but can’t help finding it comical and a tad bit endearing. You shrug, humouring him.

 “Sure, okay.”

 He nods affirmatively, going back to eating more chips before he decides that yes, these will be his chosen snack. Jungkook shuffles past you and heads towards the living room, plopping down on the couch rather comfortably and turning on the TV with a casual flick of his wrist. You follow him, taking a seat on the armrest and watch amazed as he channel surfs with his finger in a way one would scroll with an IPad. Unfortunately for him, you don’t have cable or a satellite provider since both you and Jaehee prefer streaming your shows. The only purpose it serves is the occasional movie nights and your long forgotten PS4.

 But as of right now, you’re not too concerned in trying to keep this odd demon entertained. Rather, you want to know why he’s even here in the first place if this is potentially putting him in danger.

 “So…. Can you tell me again why you’re here?” You ask, voicing your thoughts curiously.

 Jungkook glances up, pausing on the local news channel that had a reporter droning on about the latest update to an apparent street racing accident that happened recently which resulted in one death and four arrests. He’s got a mouthful of chip as he blinks up at you with round eyes and in that moment, he reminds you too much of a bunny. Doesn’t help that his lips pull back into a mischievous smile, revealing most of his front teeth.

 “Wouldn’t you say it’s appropriate for me, a good friend and mentee of Jimin’s, to be interested in the girl who’s managed to steal his attention?”

 You sputter, hands crossing over your chest defensively. “W-What’s that supposed to mean? He’s just my temp guardian because he apparently did something stupid. There’s nothing going on between us other than that he needs to make sure I don’t die so that he can save his own ass.”

 The demon in front of you nods his head in agreement, lips jutting out in thought as he nonchalantly switches the channel to an afternoon talk show.

 “True, but you don’t know Jimin like I do.”

 When he doesn’t say anything more, you wiggle impatiently in your seat in a subtle attempt to get him to elaborate. He catches on quickly, mouth upturned at the corners in the slightest bit.

 “Let’s just say, with how Jimin is…. or I should say was, I’m looking forward to picking you apart, to see who Y/N really is.”

 He makes it sound way more dramatic than it really ought to be, you thought, finding the entire thing to be anticlimactic. If that really was his true motive, the very thing he’s willing to risk it all for, then boy was he gonna be disappointed. On the contrary though, you find that you’re more interested in picking him apart. With what he insinuated just now, your curiosity for a certain demon has been piqued. You wouldn’t mind digging up some juicy dirt about your guardian. But for now, you tuck that piece of information away, having the feeling that there will be another time and place to investigate.

 Jungkook pours the rest of the remaining bits of chip into his mouth, crumpling the bag once there’s none left before standing. He brushes his hands off on his dark denim jeans, swaggering over to you until you felt the need to stand in order to not feel so dwarfed against his height (it didn’t make a difference, sadly).

 “Whether Jimin likes it or not, we’ll be seeing each other more often.”

 With a roguish smirk, he walks past you and before he makes it to the threshold of the front door, he tosses the balled up bag over his shoulder, the trajectory perfect enough that you only needed to stretch your arms out to catch it. When you’ve successfully grasped the remainders of your Doritos bag, Jungkook is gone, leaving behind only a trailing wisp of black smoke.

 You stare at the spot for a few seconds before huffing a laugh and shaking your head. Demon Jungkook says that your guardian was unfortunate enough to end up looking like Jimin but you honestly think otherwise. As much as he is handsome by default because he chose to look like Jungkook, it seems like it doesn’t change the overall feeling you get from him, demon or not.

 He’s a huge dweeb.

 -

 “What are you doing still up?”

 You don’t look up from the faintly glowing phone screen you’re holding in front you, body still half sunk into your pillows and blankets as your eyes stay glued to the time on the corner. Two minute to go.

 He seems to have materialized from the darkness of your room, smoothly sidling up your bedside to tower over your form. Dark eyes wander to what yours are fixated on and with a slight tilt of his head, Jimin reads the time: 4:57am.

 “They’re gonna drop their MV for their comeback soon.” You reply offhandedly, bringing a hand up to rub your eyes because you literally had just woken up for this very moment. Your demon guardian’s eyebrow furrows, not understanding the significance of your words before his mouth forms into an ‘O’.

 “You mean that boy band you follow? BTS?”

 You hum.

 Jimin regards you for a bit, hands shoved into the pockets of his black slacks. You feel him hovering over you and for a split second you think he’ll get bored and dissipate off until suddenly, he’s leaning over so closely to you that you practically feel the heat emanating from his body. You sink lower into your pillows, alarmed and wide-eyed as you look up at him in question.

 “What?”

 “Has that brat been snooping around here?”

 His narrowing eyes pin you down and you had to take a moment to remember the context of his words.

 “Ah,” You say before also remembering the little agreement you made with the ‘brat’ in question. Switching gears, you shake your head. “No, not really.”

 “…. That took way longer than necessary.”

 “I had to remind myself who you’re talking about.” You defended, subtly shifting yourself away from Jimin until you’re almost at the edge of your bed. When you still feel his burning eyes on you, you choose to avert your attention back to your phone. For the past few days, Jungkook had quite skillfully avoided your guardian and drops by to visit whenever he feels like it, mostly to raid your snack cupboard and to play with your PS4. During those times, you’ve actually gotten to know him a little better. You’ve learned that Jungkook’s some sort of demon ‘rookie’, strictly bound to only doing ‘assignments’ given to him by his ‘boss’ and that his visiting ‘visa’ only permits him limited time in the mortal realm.

 He also revealed that the reason why you’re able to see him is because of your contract with Jimin, otherwise, he would be invisible to anyone else. Overall, you found him to be entertaining and a highly curious individual, often times catching him peering at your extensive BTS album collection on your shelf as well as asking questions about the boy band you dedicate your time and money to. Honestly, you didn’t see what the big deal was — you think you have your fair share of demons now, so what’s one more to add in your life?

 Jimin sighs out heavily, straightening if only to tip his head back while running a frustrated hand through his now dark navy blue locks.

 “Y/N…seriously. He seems pretty harmless but he’s not. E—“ He snaps his mouth shut, cutting himself off so abruptly that it made you glance up at him. The slip up doesn’t go unnoticed by you, curiosity snapping you awake as you eye your guardian, wondering what it was that he was about to accidentally spill. At your weighted gaze however, Jimin shuffles, clearing his throat while rubbing the back of his neck in an attempt to play it off. “Jungkook is deceiving; if you’re not careful he’ll trick you into getting in a lot of trouble just for his sake of entertainment.”

 You deflate, curiosity still gnawing at you but you choose not to pursue it, knowing how your guardian is stubbornly good at keeping things clamped up when he wants to. Besides, you have more important matters at hand. So you settle down again, going back to your phone with a mumbled, “That sure sounds like some other demon I know….”

 If Jimin responded, you don’t hear it because the moment you see the clock reading 5:00am, you let out a muffled squeal as you hastily refresh the page, watching as it reloads and a newly added video appears, front and centre. Stuffing your ear buds in, you hit play immediately and like Pavlov’s dog, the intro has your heart pounding double speed before anything is happening.

 And then the first notes.

 Your guardian demon watches on in fascination, a little taken aback at first from your sudden change in mood. You’re too busy to pay any mind to his prying eyes as you soak in the visuals in front of you and jam to the catchy beat of the song. It’s not until BTS’ Jimin flashed across the screen, throwing in a rather sultry glance did you have to pause to give yourself time to flop back, a high-pitched garbling spewing out from you and if it were not for your guardian demon’s impeccable eyesight, he would’ve thought that a portal had torn open to release some sort of gremlin into your room.

 The thought tickles a smile onto his lips, shifting the image so that you were the gremlin but finding in a way you are similar to one; small in comparison to him, penchant for avoiding sunlight like you’re allergic to it and likes to make indecipherable noises to communicate. One key difference though, he ponders, is that he finds you to be more…appealing than that fur ball rodent.

 You let out a huff of air, still in the midst of trying to recollect yourself from that sudden attack, hair a mess from rolling and flailing in your bed.

 Yeah, way more appealing and amusing.

 Jimin takes the time to snatch your phone from your distracted state, holding it up to his face at the paused screen. His eyes meet those unlike his own — like looking into a mirror rather than a video, the only difference is the hair colour (bubblegum pink, not something he would imagine himself personally to be sporting but…. it doesn’t look as bad as he would’ve imagined. Ah, as expected of such a face he supposes…).

 “Hey, give it back!” He hears you whisper yell, making grabby hands his way, a hard frown tugging the corners of your mouth down and your brows furrowed. Your petulant demand pulls Jimin out of his musings, his own eyebrow quirking before a sly smile makes its way across plush lips.

 A loud yelp nearly tears itself from your lips as suddenly, a warm weight presses against you. For whatever reason you can’t fathom, Jimin had invited himself to get comfortable in the free space of your bed. Flabbergasted, you try to ask him what the hell does he think he’s doing but you only manage to get as far as ‘what the hell’ before you splutter into incoherency, heat overtaking your face and body. Your guardian coolly settles down, completely unfazed as he plucks the fallen ear bud from you and puts one side on.

 He turns to eye you with an innocent look, to which you can only stare back wide-eyed and mouth agape like a fish out of water.

 “What? I think it’s about time I would get to know the seven Korean men that melted your frozen heart and who you’ve pledged your undying love to.”

 You blink, letting his words sink in as the unconscious death grip you had on the edges of your blanket loosens. A few more moments of silence passes between you two, your doppelgänger peering at you expectantly. When it’s clear that he wasn’t gonna pull a quick one on you and say that he’s just kidding, you tentatively take a hold of your phone again and the other half of your earbuds.




“Okay…If you’re sure?” You don’t hide how weirded out you are by his sudden interest but you don’t unwelcome it (you’re always down to spread the love that is BTS, even to a demon of hell). So with one last deep breath, you gather yourself and rewind the video to play it from the beginning. The intro rolls, the same note plays but you find, frustratingly enough, that you’re half paying attention to the what’s going on in the music video. Your brain has suddenly made you become so hyper aware of the body that’s beside you that when Jimin shifts to lean his head closer to get a better view, you had to hold yourself back from flinching.

 It’s so unfair, you think, sneaking a glance to catch his profile illuminated against the light of the phone screen, highlighting the high points of his nose and cheeks and casting dark shadows to emphasize the sharp cut of his jawline. He’s surprisingly focused on the video that it almost puts you to shame because you’re beside yourself, trying not to combust from this onslaught of visuals (from the video and what’s beside you). You adamantly glue your gaze back onto the screen, determined to not let this effect you so much, only to be hit by another deadly shot (courtesy of Jung Hoseok). It sends you reeling.

 Guardian demon Jimin holds fast, unbothered by the squirming and wheezing you’re doing beside him, so caught up in this new world from which the person who you adore most exist in and subsequently, who he now wears the image of. Needless to say, it was strange to see himself (but not really) dance to this energetic, poppy tune while singing about the little things of love, joy and overall happiness alongside his six other band mates (one of which is, ugh, Jungkook), all the while, throwing out radiant, heart-stopping smiles.

 It’s sappy, too cute, too pink and so not his taste.

 Still, as bizarre as it is, Jimin is starting to see the surface of where this unconditional love stems from. He could almost feel the warmth and sincerity of which the lyrics are being sung, despite the upbeat track it’s been placed with and the foreign language it’s in — a purity of emotions and of gratitude for…. an imaginary lover? Or perhaps…. for those that support and love them, just as you do?

 The song comes to an end, the final notes fading out in an echo. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and courageously, trail your eyes to meet the demon’s face. He says nothing as he slips the ear bud off with a rather pensive look on his face. You’re not sure how to react either.

 “…So….” You start, fidgeting with your own ear bud. “What do you think?”

 He cocks his head to one side; arms crossed in thought and after a few more beats of silence, turns to you with a rather deadpan look on his face. “It’s too cheerful.”

 You bring a hand up to your mouth as if that would help stop the short, burst of laughter that comes through (it doesn’t but at least it makes it quieter than it would’ve been). The comment catches you off guard in the delivery but by no means, were you surprised that he would say something like that. Nevertheless, you nod in understanding.

 “Yeah…I had a feeling. I mean, you sort of came in a very uplifting time for them, which is why their comeback is so…. happy.” You explain, “I think if you had seen their past comebacks you would like some of those songs better, especially during Tear era so you could always check that out.” You pause as if there’s a tinier you inside your brain reprimanding you for getting too carried away because what if he doesn’t want to go that deep? So as a cop out, you throw in, “Only if you want to.”

 Afterwards, you refuse to make eye contact with Jimin, choosing to answer the few instant messages that popped up from your friends who had also woken up to watch the MV drop. Which means you entirely miss the way Jimin continues to watch you, eyes dancing with amusement as he sees the way you type (in all caps) to your friends in a group chat, expressing your excitement about the new song and the member’s new concept for the video, all the while keeping a rather straight face.

 His lips betray him as a smile creeps its way up. With a mind made up, he reaches for your phone and pries it away from your hands. You protest, making a grab for it but he pulls it out of reach, clicking the side button to lock it before unfolding his legs to get up from your bed. You frown unconsciously at how quickly the space became colder in his absence.

 “I’ll think about it. But right now you need to sleep — you’re going to regret it when you wake up for work soon.”

 Again, you open your mouth to protest but shut it because ultimately, he’s right. A quick glance at your bedside clock nearly has you blanching; it’s near 6:30am — you need to be up in four hours.

 “I regret nothing.” You retort. Jimin only shoots back a knowing grin because yes, he knows that you don’t regret anything BTS by now but if there was anything that would rival your love for, it was sleep. He places your phone down on your night table, getting ready to take his leave.

 “Sleep tight, doll. You’re gonna need it.”

 “Yeah, yeah.” You mumble, sinking down and making yourself comfortable in your bed again and in spite of your pouting, you’re out like a light.

 -

 “That’s Kim Namjoon, he’s the leader but not the oldest. His stage name is RM but he used to be known as Rap Monster because he’s one of the main rappers and he’s known for producing a lot of their songs.”

 Jimin breathes out deeply in an attempt to remain focused on the screen in front of him.

 “That’s Kim Seokjin, his stage name is Jin and he’s the oldest. He’s one of the main vocalists; pretty impressive I’d say considering he had no experience before. I think he’s funny too, especially when he laughs. It sounds like a windshield wiper.”

 How is it that he still hears him through the headphones and volume turned almost on full blast?

 “That one’s named Min Yoongi. Another main rapper, also produces a lot of their songs. Did you know he could rap 11.5 syllables per second?”

 There’s about three minutes left to this music video (or should he say short film? Because it really does feel like one) but he’s not sure if he can last that long without finally snapping.

 “He’s Jung Hoseok, stage name J-Hope. He’s a rapper too but he’s better known for his dancing — everyone collectively calls him ‘Dance Captain Jung’ because he’s that good and is super scary when it comes to choreography.” Jungkook scoots closer to get a better look, bumping Jimin’s shoulder and effectively increasing the guardian’s murderous intent that goes by unnoticed from the younger demon. “Kind of reminds me of someone….”

 “Can you move?” Jimin grinds out as he shoves Jungkook out of the way. Like an annoying fruit fly, Jungkook persists, a wide grin taking over his face when he sees who appears next.

 “Ah, look who it is — it’s you~!” He cackles, poking Jimin’s shoulder with one chip stained finger. It makes Jimin kiss his teeth loudly with annoyance, swiping the offending mark off his Saint Laurent jacket. “Well not really you you, but you know. He’s a dancer and a main vocalist of the group — hey! You should test that out! If you look and sound like him, maybe you can sing just as well! It wouldn’t do you good if the best you do is only look like him.”

 He feels his eye twitching; maybe he should try doing breathing exercises.

 “Oh! That’s Kim Taehyung, his stage name is V and he’s another vocalist who’s known for his huskier, deeper tone. He’s got a nickname called ‘CG V’ because everyone thinks he looks unreal, was first in a poll for the most handsome face in the world.” Jungkook pauses, staring deeply in thought at the singer that just passed by on screen. “Maybe I should’ve chosen him to look like…. but ah, there’s something about him that doesn’t really suit my taste….”

 Before Jimin can tell him off or set him on fire, the young demon jumps excitedly, nearly knocking Jimin’s phone right out of his hand and send it plummeting down the 50-story building they’re on.

 “Oh! It’s me! It’s me!” He watches eagerly, eyes sparkling with fascination at seeing the original owner of his face in action. The young man is acting, not looking much different from the being that’s sitting beside Jimin at the moment with his dark brunette hair parted and styled in a way where you can fully see his forehead. The only difference is his choice in wardrobe (a black Puma track suit, of all things….). Jungkook sits back after a moment, looking very satisfied with himself as if he was the one that’s in the music video.

 “Did you know he’s called ‘Golden Maknae’? He’s good at everything; dancing, singing, rapping, sports, music, videography—“ He makes a noise of approval from the back of his throat. “As expected, I think its fate that we ended up choosing the masks that best reflects us, don’t you think? Oh! Hey, did you know they have a fan chant? It’s goes like ‘KIM NAMJOON! KIM SEOKJIN! MIN—!”

 Without so much as a glance away from the screen, Jimin yanks the snack bag out of Jungkook’s grasp and chucks it out ahead of him, not caring where it may land while ignoring the yell that follows.

 “MY CHIPS!”

 He’s gone before Jimin can say ‘go fetch’ but nevertheless, he’s finally able to breathe and watch the rest of the video in peace. As the song comes to an end with a rather haunting silhouette the group made, Jimin comes to one conclusion.

 You were right — Tear era is, in his opinion, far superior.

[kmseokjins]

Waste It On Me (Chapter Four, Pt. 1)

Fandom: BTS Pairing: BTS x Reader / Future OT7 x Reader Warnings: n/a in this chapter Genre: a lil angst Summary: [Name] has a rough week at work and reaches her breaking point. Have some feelings, y’all.

Songs listened to: Sing For You by EXO, Butterfly by BTS, Baby Don’t Cry by EXO

Notes: Up goes the first part of chapter four since I’ve officially posted the second part of chapter four on AO3. See AO3 for special note regarding this chapter. 

Archive Of Our Own || Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

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You haven’t seen the boys for over a week, the whirlwind that was work sweeping you up and keeping you busier than you’d been in months. It was exhausting, and quite frankly, you were close to pulling your hair out. Today had especially been difficult; nothing had been going right, clients had been rude and uncooperative, and your boss was ready to blow a gasket. You were visibly shaking as you carefully put away cameras, camera lenses, and other equipment that you’d been directed to do. You had hoped it would give you time to collect yourself, to even your breathing and calm your mind.

It wasn’t, and you could feel the sharp sting of your throat constricting and tears burning in your eyes. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Don’t fall apart yet. Not here. You hastily wipe at the tears that have fallen at the sound of your boss shouting for you across the room. Clearing your throat, you stand quickly at the sound of footsteps and turn on your heel to face your boss. He stops immediately when you face him, the anger that contorts his face falls at the sight of you so upset. Your brain immediately expects the worst, fearing his anger is directed at you for whatever reason. Any reason.

He pinches the bridge of his nose, breathing out deeply before he steps closer, “[Name], go home. Get some sleep. Take care of yourself.” He tells you softly, reaching out to clasp a hand on your shoulder, which makes you tense at the contact, “You’re not in trouble, you did nothing wrong.” He adds, squeezing your shoulder before he smiles, “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

You gape at him as he shoos at you, picking up where you left off with the equipment. “B-but sir,” You start, but the words die in your throat at the look he gives you. You’ve worked with him long enough to know that there isn’t any room for arguing once he’s decided something. Finally, you nod and give him your usual bow, “Thank you, Mr. Han. Have a good night,” He hums in response, nodding his head absently, already focused back on his task.

You awkwardly shuffle away to put your own camera and equipment away in your bag, settling the strap on your shoulder before you’re slipping out of the studio with hunched shoulders. You opt to take the stairs rather than the elevator, taking your time descending down the four flights of stairs. Halfway down, your phone pings in one of the pockets of your bag, and you stop to fish it out.

9 missed calls. 15 text messages.

You hadn’t even managed to look at your phone since early this morning when you first got to work before it had been shoved in your bag pocket and long forgotten. A quick scroll shows that the calls and texts are mostly from Jimin, Hoseok, Jungkook, and Tae. It makes you smile before your vision blurs with tears and you hastily wipe them away as you quickly descend rest of the stairs and emerge into the front lobby near the elevators. You practically run through the lobby, waving your hand in acknowledgement of those you pass at their greetings and goodbyes.

As soon as you step foot outside, you stop and breathe in the fresh air, glad the sun hasn’t set and you won’t have to walk home in the dark. You stand there for several minutes, eyes closed as you simply enjoy the fresh air and the soft rays of sunlight on your face. You’re startled from your peace by your phone again.

Ping! One new text message.

JK: [Name]-ah pleaseeeeeee? Movie niiiiiight!!!

You: Not tonight.

Sunshine: Please? We miss you

Tae: You can pick the movie!

You: Guys…

JK: That’s a yes, right?

There goes your dreams of curling up on your couch with a pint of ice cream and a sappy movie to drown yourself in. Deciding you don’t have the energy to argue with them, you quickly pull up the Uber app to get yourself a ride to their dorms, plopping yourself on a nearby bench to wait for your ride.

30 minutes later, you’re finally reaching up to knock on the dorm door before you’re twisting the door knob to step inside the familiar entryway. The drive had been quiet, mostly consisting of your forehead resting against the window as you aimlessly stared out the window, barely registering just how congested the traffic was and why it took so long. The driver tried to make conversation with you, but soon fell quiet himself when you barely responded. Several texts had come through from the boys during the ride, and you only responded once to let them know you were on the way.

Laughter reached your ears as you close the door and shuffle your shoes off, letting your bag slip from your shoulder and onto the floor just out of the way. You were careful in setting it down, not wanting to damage the expensive camera that you had spent years saving up for.

“There you are!” Hoseok’s laugh comes from the doorway moments later, drawing your attention away from your bag and to the doorway. You attempt to mirror his bright smile, but your lips quiver and his image becomes blurry from tears before you can stop yourself.

Hoseok’s eyes widen at your tears, and he immediately closes the distance, pulling you against his chest and into a tight hug, “[Name], what’s wrong? What happened?” You hear him murmur against your hair, one hand soothingly rubbing up and down your back.

You keep your sobs quiet as you shake your head, “Rough day,” Comes out muffled against his chest, your fingers gripping his shirt like a lifeline, although he doesn’t seem to mind. Hoseok sighs softly, moving you both gently in a sideways motion back and forth.

“Hobi, where’d you go!?” Jimin’s voice filtered into the entryway at some point, stirring you from the soothing motions against Hoseok. “There you are. Yah! [Name], you snuck in on us!” You could hear the grin in Jimin’s voice and then the questioning silence once he apparently realized something was off.

Jimin pressed close to you both as you turned your head to face him, offering him a weak smile at the concern written all over his face. His arm wraps around your shoulders as he leans down slightly to press his head against yours. His affection and gentleness makes you choke back a sob, and you swear Jimin’s eyes look a little watery when he pulls away a few moments later. Both boys gently urge you further into the house, finding yourself tucked against Hoseok’s shoulder as he leads you down the hallway and into the living room.

Taehyung and Jungkook are sitting on the floor, apparently playing a video game by the looks of the controllers clutched in their hands. By the smell of food and voices coming from the kitchen, Namjoon and Jin are apparently fussing about in there. Yoongi is slouched on the couch, eyes glued to the phone in his hand.

Tae and Jungkook noticed the three of you first, both of them breaking into grins before they actually see to see how upset you are. The two youngest are instantly scrambling to their feet, shooting off questions at Jimin and Hoseok, their video game abandoned. Their raised voices draw the attention of the three remaining members; Namjoon and Jin emerge from the kitchen in confusion, while Yoongi has abruptly stood from his seat, phone forgotten.

“What happened?” You hear Yoongi’s voice among the commotion, and seven heads turn to look at him, although yours is the only one filled with surprise. Even with the distance between you and him, you can see his jaw tense and his knuckles are white where he’s gripping his phone. Your brain flashes back to the last time you’d seen him, and you find yourself unable to reassure him that you’re fine, but Hobi answers for you as he pulls you from the others and towards the couch, closer towards Yoongi.

“Rough day,” He repeats your words from earlier, pulling you down to sit on the couch with him, Tae immediately crowding on your other side near Yoongi, who slowly returns to his seat. You miss the looks they all exchange with each other, too busy trying to focus on something besides all of them. They can easily suck the air from a room when you’re the sole subject of their attention.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jungkook. His voice is soft and meek enough that you’re drawn to him, taking in the uncertain look in his eyes as he watches you, almost like he’s afraid to ask. You try to smile as you shake your head, reaching up to wipe the tears from your face. They all watch silently, as if they’re not quite sure what to do with you.

“I-I should go home, you don’t need me ruining a fun night,” You tell them as you stand from the couch. “I shouldn’t have come over in the first place.” There’s an ache in your chest after the words spill from your lips, too afraid to admit that you don’t really want to be alone now that you’re in the company of the boys. They’re a family, a comfort to each other when things get hard, but you’re an outsider, despite the friendship you share with each of them.

You’re used to being alone. To carrying the world on your shoulders for what has seemed like decades by yourself. You had lost your father years ago, and your mother long before that. Friends were in and out of your life, and you fully expected to be passed over by these boys. They were famous, they were idols. They were going onto bigger and better things, and despite your clumsy attempts to make something of yourself, you always felt like you could never really catch up.

A hand on your shoulder startles you from your thoughts, and you tilt her head back slightly to peer up at Namjoon, who’s looking at you like he understands, “You’re not going to ruin anything. We invited you over and we couldn't be happier that you’re here, tears or not.” Murmurs of agreement from the other members follow his words, and you feel a hand lace their fingers with yours, “Maybe this is where you need to be, [Name]. With us.”

[wwilloww]

SH. (they/them v.) | jjk

THIS VERSION IS WRITTEN WITH THEY/THEM PRONOUNS. YOU CAN READ WITH SHE/HER PRONOUNS HERE

PAIRING: Jungkook x Reader (they/them) ft. OT7

RATING: Explicit.

GENRE: NonIdol!Au. Wilderness!Au. f2l. Smut. Fluff.

WC: 6k

SUMMARY: How could you say no to a month away in the mountains with your friends after six months of grueling quarantine?

WARNINGS: YN is a cuddling fiend. Untimely boner. Handjob. Nipple play. Fingering. Unprotected sex. Size kink. Slight voyeurism. Power play. Dirty talk.

AN: This is a little bit of a test for a potentially longer series. So please please please tell me what you think, what you wanna see, what you think is going to happen!! 💕😉

This version is also a bit of a test. As someone who identifies with multiple pronouns and who has varying levels of comfort/discomfort reading certain reader insert depictions, this felt like the right thing to do with this story. I’m happy to hear your experience with it! 

THIS IS GOING TO BE FILTHY STRAIGHT DIRTY FILTH

BAD PLOT ALERT AHEAD

Thank you to @hauntedlilies​ and @hesperantha​ for being the most beautiful beta readers ever. And of course, millions of kisses and hugs and thanks to the loveliest @thatlongspringnight​ for going off a cliff with me last night and helping me to plan ahead.

next chapter ->

|| join the taglist || masterlist || read with she/her pronouns ||

©wwilloww Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

Chapter One

“Shh, baby,” he whispers in your ear. “Do you really want them to hear?”

Still, you can’t help the little “Oh,” that slips from you when he drags his cock out of you oh so dangerously slow and then rams back in.

Each thrust pushes you up against the kitchen counter.

The rest of the boys are in the other room, the movie playing not quite loud enough, filling the space of the previously lazy Friday night.

God, he feels so fucking good inside you. And yet, you hadn’t meant it to happen like this.

You’d always said that summer was your favorite season. But as you watch the light begin to fade from the sky, baby blue transforming into gold flakes of light that whirl across the gravel road, you think you might just have to change your mind.

The light glows and flickers through the pine trees as your car climbs the final hill to your destination. You begin searching for the cabin, although it’s nowhere in sight.

It’s the first day of a season away in the mountains. Two weeks ago your roommate, Namjoon, had bumbled into your tiny city bedroom, and just stood there for a moment before asking if you liked the mountains.

“Sure I do,” you replied.

He grinned. “Would you ever want to live there?”

“I mean— yeah, but like, work and quarantine and—”  

“Aren’t you working from home?”

“Yeah.”

“And haven’t we been quarantined — more or less — for six months?”

“Yes…” you said slowly.

“Then if those are your only hesitations, it’s settled!”

You’d stood from your little bed at that point. “What are you on about Namjoon?”

“I got a house in the mountains.”

“You got a house? In the mountains?”

“Details, buddy, details. I’m going, for a month or two — but probably until the spring. And I’d love it if you came with me.”  

It was as simple as that.

An offer, presented and received.

Perhaps six months locked away in your tiny city apartment had done you a bit of good. Decisions which you once might have weighed against reasonability or responsibility seemed to fall away. Instead, you did what you needed to do and the rest was up to whim and will. In recent weeks, you noticed it in the smaller things too. Eating when hungry. Moving when restless. Searching out company — virtually or in the form of your very large, but not very cuddly roommate — when lonely.

So when Namjoon offered you a season spent away from the prison walls of your tiny shared apartment, there was no hesitation.

“It’s all taken care of,” he had said with a gentle shoulder nudge when you persistently bugged him about chipping in. “Don’t worry about it.”

And even better than that, Namjoon had somehow rounded up your friends — even Yoongi who no one could tear away from his studio equipment.

The boys had already spent a night up at the cabin while you wrapped up some things in the city, packed a duffle bag, and headed out towards the great, yawning wilderness.

You were excited to see them. Quarantine had left you with little opportunity to spend quality time with your friends, and after 6 months in isolation with your roommate you were socially starved, and frankly, touch starved too. Namjoon tolerated your morning hugs, but the two of you weren’t really on the same page in terms of sharing physical affection the rest of the time.

Still scanning the trees for a cute lil log cabin, your eyes widen in shock as a building comes into view.

This is no cabin.

Before you stretches a beautiful home, designed with a graceful balance of smooth stonework, warm wood, and modern glass. A long driveway winds up a gentle hill. Are you sure you put the right address in? You think as you pull up in front of the house. But through the windows, you can see Jimin standing, waving at you.

What the actual fuck.

You park the car at the foot of the stairs leading up to the house, unbuckle the food from the passenger seat (would you dare risk the safety of Jungkook’s dinner?), and ascend the stairs. The door before you stands twice your height. Wrought iron vines tangle across a warm, dark wood. Just as you’re about to attempt to knock with your elbow, the door swings open.

“Baby!! You made it!”

You’re barely in the door, arms full of takeout, when he comes to wrap around you. It’s like all the time between you has washed away, replaced by the laughter bubbling through your chest. It’s been months since you saw your friend, months since you were held like this. It’s so easy to melt into his touch.

“Not your baby,” you correct, although you smile at the embrace.

“Not yet,” Hoseok teases back. “You know I would give you exactly what you need.”

“Is that a proposition?”

“I’m always propositioning you, it seems.”

You twist around to properly raise your brow at your teasing friend.

“Mhmm, seems like it.”

He winks at you, a playful smile teasing at his features. He bends down to press a kiss to the curve of your shoulder and kind of sways you back and forth. You stumble a bit, still carrying the heavy bags of food, but he holds tight to you anyways.

“Is this all you brought?” Hobi murmurs against you. “Just food? For the whole week? No clothes?”

You laugh. “My bags are in the car. I just figured you all would want to get your greedy little paws in some dinner first.”

“You brought food?” Jungkook peaks his head in from the living room.

“You didn’t think I would forget, did you?”

“You always know exactly how to take care of us, don’t you?” Jungkook comes to grab the three bags of takeout from your hands while Hobi still clings to your back like a koala.

“C’mon, Hobi, lemme go.”

As soon as the words leave you though, you regret it. He loosens his grip on you and the cool wash of the autumn air washes in through the still-open door behind you, replacing the warmth of his touch.  

“Promise you’ll be my cuddle buddy during the movie?”

“Course.”

How could you say no?

Perhaps that’s exactly where it all started. With them, there was nothing you wanted to say no to.

After a boisterous dinner, dishes being passed to and fro, jokes being shouted above the racket, more than one glass of wine downed — you all slump on the couches, full and exhausted and content.

“Movie?” Jungkook suggests, one leg thrown over you as you lean into Taehyung’s chest. He strokes your hair gently and you swear you could fall asleep like this, blissed out and wrapped in his arms.

“PJs first,” Jin declares from the kitchen, emerging as he wipes his hands with a dishtowel.

“Ugh, thank god,” you groan, sitting up from the couch.

“I can’t believe you’re wearing jeans,” Jungkook laughs. “What kind of world do you think you’re living in?”

“Obviously one where we put effort into our appearance,” Jimin sings, eyeing Jungkook’s oversized holey t-shirt and sweatpants combo.

“Fine,” Jungkook says. “I’ll change.”

“Where, uh, where should I change?”  

“Bedroom?” Yoongi cuts in, not even removing his eyes from his phone screen.

“Oh!” Jimin claps his hands together, turning back to face you. “We saved the best for you. Well, for you and Hobi.”

“Hm?”

“The master suite. There weren’t enough beds — and we figured a king-sized bed for two would be better than the couch for one?”

Hobi chips in: “Unless, of course, you’re uncomfortable, in which case I’ll sleep on the—”

“No, no, no.” You shake your head, stopping him in his tracks. “Nothing wrong with a lil more warmth in the world.”

“Good,” Jimin nods. “We figured putting the two of you cuddle freaks together anyways would be best for our sanity too.”

You sling the duffle bag you left waiting by the front door over your shoulder and follow your friend down a long glass hallway. The night has painted the exterior dark, but as you look down, you realize that the glass above and on either side of you is also beneath you. You’re walking over a bottomless bridge, the swirling darkness beneath you seeming to reach up towards you.

A squeal escapes you and you lunge forward, grasping onto Hobi’s arm.

“Shit!” You basically drag him forward, refusing to let go of him but desperate to get off of the glass floor. He chuckles at you but complies.

“Don’t worry, I got you. I freaked the first time too.”

He wraps you up again in his arms and more or less waddles you forward to where the hardwood begins again.

“See? All safe!”

Heat floods your cheeks as you look back down the long glass hallway.

“It looks a little less terrifying on the other side of it,” you sheepishly admit.

Hoseok chuckles and tugs you forward. You enter a large bedroom. Atop a large platform sits an extra large white bed with throws and pillows. You drop your bag and sprint towards the bed, launching yourself so that you land square in the center.

“Ah,” you sigh, taking what you think might be your first deep breath of the day. You spread your arms and legs out as if about to make snow angels. You prop your head up and take a look around the room while Hobi pads over to a large closet where he seems to already have unpacked.

The room is surrounded on two sides by entirely glass walls. The light that spills from the lamps that have already been lit makes it so beyond the walls, everything looks pitch black. Lush, fluffy carpets are scattered around the room, and in the corner is a small personal library, a little couch, and an armchair. And in the very center of the room is what you can only imagine to be an indoor fire pit.

Hobi throws a t-shirt in your face, breaking you from your thoughts.

“Get changed, slowpoke. I’ll take the bathroom.”

While Hobi changes in the bathroom you pull on the large t-shirt he threw at you and a pair of sleep shorts. While you wait on him, you scroll through your phone.

“Do you know what lies behind this door?” Hobi calls from the bathroom.

“What? No? Isn’t it a bathroom?”

“J-Hope’s hot body!” Your jaw drops before you are letting your phone fall to the mattress beneath you and laughing hysterically. He peeks his head out the door. He’s not wearing a shirt and you swallow quickly as you graze over the soft slope of his shoulders and the chiseled valley of his collar bones.  “Aren’t you curious?”

You quickly right yourself.

“Course I’m curious!” you laugh. “Who wouldn’t be curious?”

He grins at you. Sends you a wink.

“All you gotta do is ask, babe.”

“Get dressed, dummy.”

“Dummy that you love,” Hoseok corrects.

“Yes, my beloved little dummy.”

You wave him off and, taking your phone, head out back to the living room.

Jungkook plops down on the couch where he was before, next to you. You’re not sure if you’re hallucinating after so many months apart from your friends, but it seems like he’s hovering. He sat next to you at dinner. Insisted on you staying in the kitchen while he washed the dishes to chat with him. He was waiting for you in the glass hallway too after you had changed, leaning casually as if he had just stumbled in — but other than the master suite, there was nothing on the other side of the bridge. He had been waiting for you.

“I missed you,” he says, a soft smile spreading over his features.

“I missed you too.”

“It’s been weird not having everyone around all the time—”

“--Too quiet.”

“Exactly.”

Your impulse is to ask him where he’s been, what he’s done — but you know. The eight of you have kept in touch regularly over quarantine. Your group chat, while filled with memes, has kept all of you updated on your daily routines for the past six months. You know where he’s been all these months, what he’s done, and yet there is still a new kind of distance.

You think he feels it too because he’s soon opening his arms, inviting you. You crawl over the couch to him and he wraps his limbs around you, cocooning you in a strange but nonetheless comfortable position.

As you sigh and settle into his embrace, you realize he feels like a new man.

There is a quiet kind of confidence to him that you hadn’t noticed before. An ability to sit still and silently and find comfort in that.

God, it’s sexy.

What? Your eyes shoot open at the thought. But before you can do anything about it, Hobi is tripping into the living room. His smile falters when he sees you and Jungkook all wrapped up.

“They promised—”

“I know,” you groan, sitting up from Jungkook. He frowns at the loss of contact. “Come ‘ere.” You reach your arms out towards Hoseok, but instead of joining you and Jungkook he hooks his arms around you and pulls you into his chest as he sits down.

“Like a little ragdoll,” Jungkook chuckles.

“I’m not a doll,” you huff, only upset at just how easy Hobi was able to haul your body across the couch.

“A little bit of a doll.”

Hobi wraps his arms around you as you lean back into him. You’d always end up like this with the young man, one of the two wrapped around the other. It was well known that out of all of your friends, the two of you were the most touchy. However, sometimes it seemed like more than that, as the two of you almost always gravitated towards each other in any group setting. It was just as simple as that. Hobi was by your side, no matter what.

The others come to settle into the living room, setting up in various levels of absolute exhaustion, tangled limbs, or apathy.

Namjoon scrolls through a couple of movies before settling on a title with lots of cars and noise.

The movie starts. Fast and Furious blares through the speakers, startling you slightly. One of those fancy, high-paced car movies. Despite the blasting of stuttering ignitions and roaring of top speed chases, you quickly find yourself drifting off, wrapped in the warmth of Hobi’s embrace.

A particularly loud car engine roars through the speaker and you startle awake.

Jungkook is stretched out lazily, one leg on the sofa, the other leg on the floor. As your eyes trail down his body — collarbone peeking out from his far too large t-shirt, forearms somehow still perfectly defined — you gasp softly when you see what’s tenting in his pants.

Fuck.

He has a boner. Between the thick spread of his thighs, the outline of his more than girthy cock presses up against the fabric of the grey sweatpants. He has a boner from a car chase.

He seems unbothered, unaware, even. You, however, are anything but.

Involuntarily, your mouth begins to water. The shock of seeing him like this reels through you. All you can think of is what it would be like to lean forward just enough, hands sliding up the hard muscle of his tights until your fingertips reached the elastic band of his waist. You wanted to dip your fingers underneath, wrap your hand around the thick girth of him, and lower your lips perfectly around the pink head. You want to sit on that cock, feel the way he fills you up and stretches you so—-

Jungkook catches your gaze. Heat rises to your face, a mix of embarrassment and arousal. As he takes you in, he smiles a little bit and lets his hand tral down his torso to fiddle with the band of his sweatpants.

Fuck.

You can’t be here. Can’t be imagining these kinds of things. Before you can think of what you’re doing, you’re rolling off of Hobi, a sound of question resonating from his chest.

“I’ll be right back,” you mumble, tripping out of the living room and around the corner to the kitchen.

What the actual fuck. What is wrong with you?

You can’t stop the images that flood your mind. Jungkook, towering above you, while you kneel at his feet, cock framed so perfected by your pouted lips.

All you want is to slip underneath the thick duvet of your bed and press the soft silicon head of your vibrator against your clit, working away at the unbearable tension that has built within you until you come. That’s not an option though, as you know tonight you’ll be climbing into bed with Hobi and the glee you first felt when being paired with your favorite cuddle buddy is now entirely by your frustration.

Head spinning, you grab your phone and begin to type into an empty message box.

This dude has a fucking boner, and all I can think of is stuffing it down my fucking THROAT.

What? Who are you going to text that to? Not Hobi, that’s for sure. And you’re sure your friends back home will simply shake their head at your message and respond with a series of question marks.

You shake your phone to delete the message and set it down on the counter. Turning your back, you head to the sink to pour yourself a big glass of water. Maybe some damn hydration will do something to quench this thirsty ass bitch, you think.

The water helps a little, and you gulp it down greedily.

Still, it's as if the image of Jungkook’s fat cock has been burned in the back of your mind.

You sigh and put the glass back down by the sink, looking out the bay window that sprawls over the counter.

You’ve never seen darkness quite like this. Without the lights of the city and with a new moon singing in the sky it seems as if the only light in your little world is that which shines from the house. All that you can really see is the vague silhouette of the mountains surrounding you and your own reflection. God, if only Jungkook were behind you, ramming into you at his own pleasure while you watched the reflection of him chasing his orgasm—

“Who’s cock are you wanting to shove down your throat?”

You freeze, hands curling into fists on the countertop.

“What?” you barely manage to breathe. Slowly, you turn.

Jungkook is standing at the entrance to the kitchen, your still-lit phone sitting on the countertop.

Without considering what you’re doing, your eyes flicker down to the still-prominent bulge in his pants. The gaze lasts only a moment. Half a second tops. It’s long enough to notice the way he strains so deliciously against the soft grey fabric of his sweatpants, the head of his cock clearly outlined against the material. And it’s also long enough for Jungkook to catch exactly where you’re looking.

“Wh— oh.” His lips purse perfectly around the vowel, understanding dawning.

Your mind chugs at hyperspeed, clunking through no reasonable explanation to offer a Jungkook who just very clearly caught you checking his dick out — the same dick you were just about to send a very steamy text about.

“I—” Your voice trails off into nothingness as you grip even tighter to the counter behind you. What is there to say?

“You?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow and takes a step towards you, a smirk playing on his features. “Hm?” His voice has dropped, resonating deep through you, any trace of questioning erased from his tone. “You saw my cock and the first thing you think is to text your friends about how you want to stuff it down your throat?”

“No?”

“So it was a joke then?”

“No, no!” You begin to say Not a joke, I wouldn’t joke about that — but you stop yourself before the damning words can slip your mouth.

He tilts his head to the side, just a bit, and comes to lean against the island, several feet away from you. You can’t help but suck in a deep breath at the divine swirl of playfulness and danger in his gaze. He notes your tight grip on the counter, knuckles turning white.

“I’m not mad at you. A little surprised. Pleasantly so.”

“Pleasantly?”

“It’s a pretty little compliment to have someone you like wanna suck your dick.”

Your eyes widen. “Like?”

He speaks your name slow with a hint of boredom in his voice. “Seriously?”

“Seriously what?”

Jungkook smiles softly at you. “Sometimes you can be so blind.”

“I am not blind,” you huff, crossing your arms over each other.

“For certain things,” he smirks, “It seems you can see just just fine.”

He steps closer to you.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean — I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I —”

“I’m not uncomfortable in the slightest.”

“You’re not?”

You look up at him. There’s something dark, deep swirling in his gaze, and that playful smirk you know all too well dancing in the corner of his lips.

“I just want to know why.”

“I mean—” He raises his eyebrow at you. “It’s been a really long and lonely time in quarantine. Can you blame me?” Rather than bringing closure to the situation, every word you speak only seems to heighten your anxiousness, your speech speeding up, words falling over one another. “Y’all are so fucking hot and I forgot! I forgot, okay! I forgot how to regulate my goddamn libido and my thoughts and forgot what it’s like to be fuc—”

You slap you hand over your mouth.

“You forgot what it’s like to be fucked?” Jungkook laughs.

You pout a little. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not laughing,” he chortles. He is laughing. “I’m just—” he takes a deep breath to steady himself. “--just thinking that I know exactly what you mean and I — you know,”  His hand glides up his chest to rub at his collar bone. His signature nervous tick. He’s still laughing, only nervously now. “You know. You know?”

“What?”

He takes a deep breath. Closes his eyes for a moment. You watch as his chest rises, falls, eyelashes fluttering open again. Suddenly he’s leaning in, both hands on either side of you.

“If it’s a lie—”

“If what’s a lie?”

His nervousness is quickly replaced with the playful smirk you’re so familiar with. “Did you mean it when it was a joke or when you said you wanted to — what was it? — stuff your throat with my cock?”

You gulp.

Now or never, babe.

Quickly, before you can doubt it, you nod.

He grins.

“I have a proposition then.”

“First Hobi, now you?”

“What? What did Hobi say?”

“Nothing — forget it.”

“Okay…” His brow furrows.

“Forget it,” you repeat.

The two of you stare at each other for a moment, reading each other’s gaze, trying to calculate exactly what the next step is. Surprisingly, you’re the first one to act, reaching out until your fingertips find the soft cotton of his t-shirt. You twist your fingers into it, not pulling him towards you by any means, but still, pushing him on.

“Proposition me,” you say, the nervousness gone from your voice.

His brows shoot up in surprise, but your gentle touch and the confidence in your voice seems to spur him onwards. “Well,” he starts slowly. “Considering you’re half the reason I’m even in this position—” He steps forward, just enough that you can feel his hardness press into your belly. He puts both hands on the counter on either side of you and leans into you. “I say we just sort this out here and now.”

“What are you saying?” you tease, twisting the fabric of his shirt into your hand, pulling him closer.

“I’m saying, let me fuck you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.” He’s so close that when he speaks, his breath brushes against your lips. “Are you going to let me kiss you?”

“Mhmm,” you hum against him.

He dives in like a starving man, lips pressing hard against yours. His hands begin on your side and slide around to press into your lower, back, pressing you tightly against him.

“Here?”

“Why not?”

You grin.

Your hands begin to trail down his torso, fingers tracing the outline of his abs, which, you think in passing, are far too defined to be real after six months of quarantine without gym access. You reach the band of his sweatpants and don’t hesitate to dip underneath.

Fingers trace over bare skin and you’re surprised to find — he’s not wearing any boxers at all. Your heart rate picks up as you realize he’s been walking around all evening, cock hanging free beneath nothing but a thin layer of grey sweatpants.

Just by pulling slightly at the band of his sweatpants, the head of his cock pokes up, caught between the fabric and his torso. With a wink, you push Jungkook back just enough so that he steps back a couple of paces, moving until his back hits the wall.

“Can I touch you?” you ask sweetly.

He nods, furiously. Reaching down to wrap your fingers delicately around his length, your eyes widen as you realize just how large he is.

Your hand barely even wraps around the girth of him.

His eyes flutter as your grip tightens around him.

“Shit,” he breathes.

Ever so slowly, ever so lightly you begin to stroke up and down the silky skin of his shaft. You watch as pleasure flickers across his face — always transparent, always easy to read. You’d always admired that about him, how he wore his emotions for the world to see. But getting to see the pleasure you caused, you created, worn on his delicate features is nothing like anything you’d ever experienced before.

With a slight twist of your wrist, you have him exhaling sharply.

“Jesus fucking christ, it’s a whole new world with someone else’s hand.”

You begin to drop to your knees, wanting to take him into your mouth. But he’s quick to stop you, hands coming to grip your elbow.  

“Fuck,” he hisses. “It’s been too long— if you keep going like that I’m not going to last very long.” He pulls you back up towards him.

You frown at him, almost comically.

“I promise you’ll have another opportunity to suck my dick,” he chuckles, reaching up to pinch your chin. “That is, if you want to do this again.” He presses his lips to yours and your frown is quickly disappearing as he now takes his turn to trail a hand down from your chin. You shiver as he skates around your chest, as he brushes up against your hardened nipples, protruding through your worn-out sleep shirt.

“Stop teasing me,” you whisper, and he grins at you.

“Am I moving too slow?”

“Torturously sl—” Your speech is cut off as he takes a clothed nipple between his fingers and twists, just enough. Your back arches into his touch, and before you know what’s happening, he’s slipping an arm around your lower back and twirling you around so that suddenly it’s you against the cold marble of the island, Jungkook pressing into you.

He kisses you furiously, lips moving against yours as if he’s searching for something.

“What about the others?” you whisper against him.

“What about them?” Jungkook’s hand traces down your torso and comes to tease the band of your sleep shorts. He looks at you, brow raised — a question of permission. You nod, bring your hand down atop his, and guide it underneath your shorts. “I asked you a question,” he says, as his fingers finally dip into your wetness. He slides one finger along your folds. The touch is delicate but the shock of the sensation has you arching into him.

“More, please,” you gasp.

He circles your entrance with a firm touch, before slipping one finger into you. You do your best not to wantonly grind down onto his hand, but you can’t help your hips as they buck up into him when he curls his finger. It’s still not enough though.

“I asked you a question.”

“Kook— please.”

“Answer and I’ll give you exactly what you want. What about the others?” Your mouth gapes open as he adds a second finger and hooks them both against that delicious soft spot within you, so he continues for you. “Do you want them to know I have you underneath me like this? Hm? Do you want them to see you so fucked out with the smallest amount of touch?”

You whimper at his words, but manage to speak, “Right now, just want you.”

He grins. Leans close, right up against your ear and whispers:

“Then why don’t you do your best and stay quiet like a good girl?”

Your mouth drops open at the term of endearment just in time for him to begin thrusting his fingers in and out of you. You bite down on your lip to stop the squeal that threatens to break loose from you.

“God you look perfect,” he whispers. “You fall apart so easily.”

“Mmf,” is all you manage to get out.

And then, all of a sudden, his fingers are ripped out of you and all you feel is empty, sensation lost, the trails of pleasure disappearing as fast as sand through the gaps in your fingers.

“Jungko—”

He silences you by crushing his lips against you. His arms come to wrap around your back and he presses you tight against him. You can feel his erection against your lower belly and you can’t help but push back against it. He groans into your mouth.

“I need you,” he groans.

“Please,” you speak against his lips.

“Yeah?” he kisses the corner of your mouth before kissing and biting down your chin and onto your neck. He keeps one hand at your lower back, keeping you as close to him as he can, the other, coming down to cup your now dripping sleep shorts. He ruts against you, erection pressing lightly into your stomach. “Does this pretty pussy want my cock?”

“God, yes.”

“I need to fuck you. And I need you to stay very quiet so that the others don’t walk in here while my cock is inside of you.” He pulls away from you just enough grap your ass, lifting you onto the island counter. His strength is surprising, but you don’t mind being a little manhandled.

He pulls your sleep shorts to the side, grips his cock, and presses the head to your entrance. You try to slide forward on the counter, try to hook your leg around his back so as to press him into you, but instead he just stays there.

“What a needy little one,” Jungkook growls. And with that, he finally presses into you, his eyes so carefully trained on your every expression.

The smallest of ohs slips from you as he finally bottoms out.

“Fuck, you sound so sweet on my cock.”

You didn’t think that you would break your quarantine chastity in a mountain chalet kitchen with your friend’s cock stuffed deep inside you. You wouldn’t have imagined it would have been Jungkook either — that’s not to say you hadn’t imagined it.

But looking at him, his eyes closed in satisfaction as he finally takes his pleasure — this is all you want.

Throwing your leg around his lower back, you push him further into you. He lets his head fall onto your shoulder, breathing the slightest of groans into your skin.

You continue like that, moving desperately against each other, frantically searching for the pleasure that has been missing for so many months.

And then he’s pulling out of you, lifting you oh-so lightly off of the counter and turning you around. With a hand pressing down on your lower back, your back arches deliciously, ass presented just for him.

He grips his cock tightly in his hand, and runs the head of it through your folds. He presses against your clit and you suck in a breath as he begins to tease you. In response, you roll your hips back at him and he hisses, gripping your hip even tighter.

Finally, he nudges the head of his cock at your entrance and pushes in.

It starts to slip out of you before you can stop it. A long whine, high pitched and needy.

“Shh, baby,” he whispers in your ear. “Do you really want them to hear?”

Still, you can’t help the little huff that slips from you when he drags his cock out of you oh so dangerously slow and then rams back in.

Each thrust pushes you up against the kitchen counter. The rounded pressure, though a little painful, only sparkes a deeper desire in your belly.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you whisper.

The rest of the boys are still in the other room, the movie playing not quite loud enough, filling the space of the previously lazy Friday night.

And then he slows. Just enough that he can roll his hips into you at a torturously controlled pace, his cock reaching deeper, more sensitive areas than before.

As if he know what you’re going to do, he wraps his hand around your mouth, stopping your moan in its tracks.

“Do you really want them to know just how desperate you are for cock?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. His hand is so big it covers almost half your face. You imagine his tattoos covering you. This is exactly how you’d like to wear him, his cock deep inside you, his tattoos on beautiful display. “Because tonight, you’re just mine.”

Using the hand he has around your mouth and the other one he has pressed against your belly as leverage, he fucks up into you, hard and fast. The pace is punishing, and exactly what you need.

And just as you feel the pleasure building in your belly begin to climb, dangerously hot and searing you hear:

“What the fuck.”

There’s a figure standing in the doorway, mouth gaping.

Jungkook freezes. Doesn’t withdraw though, his cock still stuffed deep inside you.

“I—” You begin to speak but he raises his hands and you stop dead in your tracks, not sure what you would say anyways.

“By all means, please — don’t let me stop you,” Jimin says.  

next chapter ->

[jiminshoney]

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just  let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

  “You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this?  “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything  - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one.  You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.  I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

 From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC

[rreader]

BTS reaction to you having a sexy performance on stage.

pairing: bangtan x reader fandom: bts warnings: mentions of sex (spanking, oral, etc.) genre: smut ; crack ; fluff

a/n: I think I might start doing these more, since they are usually quick to write and give me a massive inspiration boost. but yeah, I don’t think I have to explain much, it all says it in the title lol. (rest of the boys under the cut) (added bangtan in general to my fandoms page)

Kim Seokjin

Jin was not be prepared for it.

He knew the concept of your group was different than those of others and he was proud of that. He was proud that you were unlike any other and he was proud to be able to call someone as special as you his girlfriend.

But when the song started and you stepped onto the stage, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He'd stop clapping and stare instead. His members would laugh and tease him a bit. They would certainly have their fun with how much he was struggling to comprehend what was going on.

Seems like there had been a reason you had never told him a single thing about this performance. And the surprise on his face was worth keeping it a secret.

And, even though it was just for a tiny moment, when your eyes found him, in the midst of all the people in this massive arena of this award show and you winked at him, while you were getting down on your knees, his pants were suddenly very uncomfortable.

Min Yoongi

A mixture of him being turned on, proud but also a little bit angry.

Seeing you in such an outfit would obviously have an effect on him, the way it suited you like it was your second skin, how it hugged every curve of your body so perfectly... And he obviously loved your body, so no wonder he’d gulp when seeing you like this for the first time.

But then again, that outfit in mix with that performance, revealed a little bit too much for his liking and quite frankly, Min Yoongi was a jealous man when it came down to you.

You were his girlfriend and not that of any of your millions and millions of fans, despite them hoping it would be their name you would yell at night (or, you know, during the day. Yoongi really couldn’t care less at this point). And now so many of those people would begin to fantasize about you in this outfit on your knees, you doing things to them, that only he was allowed to get.

So what was the solution to the problem? Simple. He’d have to show you just who you belong to again, in case you might have forgotten. (I’m giving you a hint. It includes you being bent over his knees.)

Jung Hoseok

Proudest. Boyfriend. Ever.

So excited when you stepped onto that stage and started your performance and he forced the members to share his excitement (even though that wasn’t exactly hard in the first place).

You had practiced for this day over and over again for the last couple of weeks, maybe even months and had pur countless of hours of work into it. Hours that Hobi had trained with you, helped you and supported you. And seeing you do so well in front of so many people.. he was a smiling mess, to say the least. So fucking proud and not even slightly concerned about the fact that the performance was sexy.

As a dancer, it was actually rather pleasing for him to watch a performance as well executed as yours.

Would tell the boys about 10 times during the performance, that you were his girlfriend, especially when you had just nailed another hard part of it.

And they'd be like: “Yes, thank you, we hear that every night.”

Well, who can blame you.

Kim Namjoon

Like Yoongi, very jealous.

But he’s able to hide his jealousy well, always has been. Made sure to put on a smile during the performance, being the leader that he was, he always had to stay the most professional out of them all, of course. But under the table, he clenched his fists and he made a mental note to have a little chat with you about this performance.

About why exactly you were on your knees during that performance of yours and why you were looking like you were riding his face, when he was sitting so far away.

Namjoon understood that you had to follow the instructions of your company, of the people that were in charge of the dance routines and he knew that your concept wasn’t exactly ‘cute school girl’, but that still didn't stop him from punishing you that night, until you were screaming his name over and over again.

Because there's only one person you should get down on your knees for.

And that was him.

Park Jimin

Did it suddenly get hotter in this arena?

My god, that poor boy, honestly.

Would be a mess, an utter and complete mess the second you stepped onto that stage.

He began to sweat and blush and he knew that you threw him those looks intentionally and he hated the effect those mere looks were having on him. (He should have expected this, you always loved teasing him, after all.)

Would definitely try to hide it all, but when your band member gently stroked the sides of your hips from behind you and let her hands glide to your belly, he was done and he’d know that neither you, nor him would attend the after party that night.

However, he knew how hard you had worked for this and how hard you had trained the last couple of weeks, so even though his boner was incredibly painful, especially with you so far away, he was incredibly proud of you.

Because yes, that goddess on the stage was none other than his girlfriend.

Kim Taehyung

Much like Hobi, the ultimate fanboy and countless of websites and magazines would probably crown him ‘boyfriend of the year’ the day after.

Was glad that you had finally decided to make your relationship public a few weeks ago, so he could show his full support in front of everybody. Would sing the entire song with you and dance to it and every time the camera focused on him, he made sure to make everyone in the arena understand just how proud he was of you up there.

Did he care that you were swaying your hips like that and that you had that look in your eyes that would usually have him moan? Not in a way that made him jealous. No, he was so proud of you in that moment, that he couldn’t bring himself to be jealous. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, but in that moment, all he could feel was pride and happiness.

You had an amazing body, that Tae loved with all his heart and he wanted the world to see just how beautiful, talented and sexy you were.

And if it took this performance to show them? So be it.

Jeon Jeongguk

A mess, like Jimin.

Had a hard time even watching the full performance, to be honest.

Gulped every time you so much as glanced at him and when you bit your lip with a grin and your eyes were this time only focused on him, it was over for him.

Was definitely a little jealous, especially when you got down on your knees, but that jealousy was nothing compared to how horny he was feeling and how much he wanted to hold you in his arms right there and then (and, you know, maybe, just maybe, push you against the nearest wall.)

But all Jungkook would be able to think about for the rest of the night, was how he wanted you to go down on your knees once again, but for a completely different reason, this time.

At that thought, all jealousy was gone, knowing that he’d be the only person you’d do that for.

Then, there was only pride.

[perpetually-jungshook]

RED || 01

Genre: humor, jimin x jungkook for now, jungkook smut for now, angst, fluff, humor

Summary: Life is weird. Jungkook works as Jimin’s niche porn photographer and finds it difficult to remember that the he’s only flirting with the camera. Namjoon despises the world of big business but works as a manager for an international corporate company and hates it (cruel irony, he says). Yoongi is just a typical IT guy who has a secret he’s never told anyone, which is totally typical. Hoseok and Seokjin work at a retirement home, from which they one day bring back some random volunteer with fiery red hair who may or may not change everything.

Warnings: language, minor character death (jk it’s a hot pocket), crude humor, brief smut (masturbation), pining

Word Count: 8.5k

Links: Storyboard || Next Part

Jungkook’s finger gently taps at the rotation ring, zooming in Way Too Much on Jimin’s lips. They’re full, soft, quirked up slightly at the corners in a smile. The image distorts for a moment as Jimin leans forward, covering his mouth to hide a laugh.

“Kookie, I can see the lens thing move. I know you’re zooming.”

“Okay, okay, you caught me,” Jungkook can’t help his own smile as he fixes the image. “Stay still.”

He captures Jimin’s pose with practiced ease and a quick flash that brightens the room, casting a fleeting sheen across glittered, gilded, and silk surfaces. Upon Jungkook’s approval, Jimin relaxes and stretches slowly, causing the younger boy to avert his gaze. For some reason, editing the photos rarely bothers him, but Jungkook can’t quite bring himself to watch while Jimin is repositioning.

Instead, his attention settles on the shadowy folds of Jimin’s deeply red hooded cape, almost reminiscent of a sweet Merlot. He doesn’t know exactly what kind of material it is, but from the solid ten minutes he’d spent draping and reorienting the abundant amount of fabric, he knows it’s satiny with just the slightest bit of shimmer.

Jimin, now partially sitting up, angles himself sideways, his body perpendicular to the camera.

“What if I did something like this?” he asks, crooking the knee further from Jungkook upward, carefully planting his foot on the cream colored couch cushion as he leans back, one arm extended behind him, elbow locked to support his weight while the other rests on his raised bent knee. In this position, his hard dick is almost fully exposed, but so are the soft curves of his body, the gentle dips around healthy muscles in the expanse of smooth skin.

Something about Adonis or some marble dude named David could be applied here, but Jungkook’s brain is currently fifty percent work oriented focus and fifty percent TV static panic.

“Tilt your head a little,” Jungkook instructs quietly around a small lump forming in his throat, which he tries to ignore. He feels his brows pinch in concentration more than he pinches them himself. “Little less. Wait.”

He leaves the tripod, walking over to the couch and oh so gently taking Jimin’s chin between his thumb and the side of his index finger with confidence and calmness that he quite frankly does not actually possess. Jimin follows the suggested movements easily and without question, the two boys not only knowing their own and each other’s strengths and weaknesses, but also appreciating and respecting them. Jimin’s skin feels just as smooth as it looks, as always. Jungkook silently wonders what products he uses.

Stepping back, he inspects the new position, then hums thoughtfully.

“What if you leaned back a little more? Like put your weight on your elbow? Not your hand.”

Jimin dutifully bends his arm, turning his bare chest more toward the camera to maintain balance. It’s probably not the most comfortable position to hold, but it looks like he’s lounging, other wrist still up on the crooked knee. Jungkook adjusts the position of Jimin’s head one more time, fusses with the cape for a few seconds, then returns to his camera, quickly changing a few settings to compensate.

“I’ll take a set of five,” Jungkook says, examining the masterpiece one last time. “Two looking to your left, three at the camera.”

The first two photos are easy enough, Jimin effortlessly falling into a practiced neutral expression. He almost looks like some kind of fairy prince, hair parted in the middle, styled perfectly, feathery with a thin crown of fake branches and leaves, his makeup subtle but done to accentuate his features almost naturally, a little glitter skillfully placed at the corners of his eyes. Jimin really is a piece of living artwork.

Then he looks at the camera.

Heat rises onto Jungkook’s cheeks as Jimin’s attention falls on him— well, through the lens. No, at the lens. He’s probably not even thinking about Jungkook. The lump in his throat gets bigger, stomach feeling tight as he snaps two pictures. Two flashes. The heat crawls up to his ears, probably making them red too.

And then Jimin smirks.

It’s the last picture, and Jungkook has to check afterward to make sure it’s his vision that went blurry and not caused by the camera itself. He clears his throat and nods.

“Alright. We’re good. I’ll edit these and send them to you for approval by this weekend.”

“What? You gonna jerk off to them first?” Jimin teases, slowly pushing himself up out of the lounging position to sit comfortably, maybe too comfortably.

Jungkook looks everywhere but at the older boy as he starts packing up, needing to dismantle the tripod, then take apart the camera and light fixtures. Lots to do, so little hand eye coordination when nervous. He feels sick for a moment, like a teenager caught masturbating. He keeps working as the conversation continues.

“No.”

“You hesitated,” Jimin almost sings, obviously amused.

“I didn’t!” His voice totally doesn’t crack. You can’t prove anything.

Jimin just laughs, “Alright, well I’ll see you later, Kookie. After I shower all of this crap off.”

Jungkook has to consciously keep himself from thinking about Jimin in the shower, especially since he’ll probably end up taking care of his hard on too. An even more adamant: don’t think about that.

He nods as he finishes packing up his gear. “Take your time.”

“Oh stop being so stiff,” Jimin says, scrunching his nose. “Friends first, coworkers second. That’s what you promised when we started.”

Jungkook scrunches his nose, but allows himself to smile again, “We’re shooting niche porn. Aren’t I like, supposed to be stiff?”

Both boys laugh, relaxing, and Jungkook leaves the apartment in a significantly less tense mood than normal.

Even with the heavy equipment, he takes the stairs. It’s good exercise, and only one floor down. Jungkook knocks on the door with his foot and it’s promptly answered by Namjoon, who’s having what seems to be a tense conversation on the phone. So as quietly as possible, Jungkook thanks him and goes down the hall to his bedroom.

“Where were you last night at three o’clock?”

“In my bed?”

“Liar,” Hoseok snarls, slapping his hand down on the table, angling the lamp to shine directly into Jungkook’s face, causing the younger boy to squint. “Where were you last night at three o’clock?”

“In my room— probably sleeping?”

Jungkook winces and sinks back as Hoseok huffs with obvious disgusted.

“What did you do to my hot pocket?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook protests. “I didn’t do anything to it.”

Yoongi smothers a laugh, but does a terrible job because it can be heard across the room, “Hobi, if he did do anything with your hot pocket, I think it’s safe to say he would’ve eaten it. I don’t think there’s much of a question there.”

“You are a sick, sick monster,” Hoseok cries, pointing at Jungkook and effectively ignoring Yoongi. “Devouring my food as it sat innocently in the microwave-”

“Do we have any more hot pockets?” all three boys turn their head toward the kitchen as Jimin walks in from the short hallway, picking up the empty container from the counter. “I think I ate the last one last… night…”

He reads the room a few seconds too late, eyes widening, gaze slowly sweeping over Jungkook, the lamp, and lastly Hoseok. Everything freezes save for their heartbeats, thrumming faintly like the paper thin wings of a butterfly, the rest of the scene lying still, delicate as a snowflake, suspended like a dewdrop on a spider’s web, ready to fall, ready to shatter and splinter and wilt into the imperfect reality that is the next moment.

“Balls.”

“Fuck you Jimin that was my hot pocket.”

Jimin screams as he throws the container at Hoseok, doing the smart thing and running from the room like his life depends on it. Hoseok doesn’t miss a beat, using his arm to bat aside the empty cardboard box like it’s an empty cardboard box, which it is. He then hurdles the coffee table and sprints out of the living room at full speed, giving chase to the real hot pocket bandit. Jungkook feels bad for Jimin, but he’s also relieved, knowing now that Hoseok will definitely not murder him in his sleep. A loud bang issues from down the hall, but neither Jungkook nor Yoongi gets up to investigate. They’ll be fine. Probably.

“Well that was interesting,” Yoongi says, one eyebrow subtly arched in mild interest or maybe disinterest. It’s always hard to tell with him, especially with the underlying sarcasm he laces through practically every sentence.

Jungkook’s bones feel like jelly. He doesn’t do good under pressure when people are angry at him.

“I don’t understand why he just assumed it was me.”

“Because you eat like a garbage disposal,” Yoongi’s voice is distorted behind a yawn as he stretches.

“But I don’t even live here.”

Yoongi smirks, “The real question is, why was he up at three o’clock making a hot pocket?”

“It’s Hoseok, so who knows,” Jungkook laughs lightly, not sure what else to do except reach over and turn off the glaring desk lamp.

“Very true.”

Jungkook lets out a long sigh, his head gently hitting the grainy surface of the coffee table, made easy by the fact that he’s sitting on the floor. Who knew he would be in a crime-drama show before lunch? Speaking of lunch…

Fuck. That’s right. No more hot pockets to steal.

“Should I be concerned that Hobi’s trying to break down the bathroom door?” Namjoon clears his throat, jabbing a finger over his shoulder as he enters from the short hallway, likely having been in Seokjin’s room playing with the latter’s pet sugar gliders.

“Nope,” Yoongi replies first, settling once more into the well loved leather arm chair, trying to pretend like he didn’t almost drop his phone on his face as he stretched.

“Got it.” Namjoon says. He takes a seat on the not at all matching but still well loved leather couch opposite the coffee table of Jungkook.  “Do you guys know when Jin’s coming back?”

“Nope,” Yoongi repeats.

“All I know is he said he’s bringing a friend over, for lunch or something, I think,” Jungkook adds, sitting up properly while he speaks to be polite.

Oh man. Lunch. That still sounds like a good idea.

“A friend?” Namjoon asks, pulling off his ratty black beanie only to put it on again during his next question. “Do we know them?”

“I dunno.”

“Probably not.”

“You guys are so helpful,” Namjoon’s tone is sarcastic yet distantly affectionate.

“Fuck you, go read your fancy poker cards if you’re so nosy,” Yoongi says, laughing, throwing a stained decorative pillow vaguely in Namjoon’s direction. Namjoon attempts to grab it, fumbling for a moment before accidentally hitting himself. Jungkook can’t help giggling, though he decides to stay quiet otherwise.

“They’re tarot cards,” Namjoon corrects with a huff.

Yoongi shrugs and starts scrolling through his phone, “Then go read your carrot cards.”

“Tarot.”

“Carrot?”

“There’s no ‘t’ at the end.”

“Yeah there is.”

“Okay, yes, while spelling. But you don’t actually pronounce it as a hard ‘t’ sound.”

Jungkook puts his hand over his mouth, stifling more giggles. He can see Yoongi’s smirk, but Namjoon is taking this one hundred percent seriously.

The younger of the two seems to realize something, his eyes getting wide as he continues, “Hey wait a second, if you know how to spell it, you totally know what I’m talking about.”

As they continue bickering, Jungkook decides he’s finally going to get up and see about lunch, or at least scavenge a snack. It’s not his house so he shouldn’t be rude (especially with Hoseok already so sensitive), but then again, Hoseok, Jimin, and Seokjin eat his food all the time. He pauses as he reaches the kitchen, though for a different reason. Maybe he should go see if Jimin is still alive. Back tracking a few steps, Jungkook peers down the short hallway to find Hoseok sitting on the floor outside the bathroom, moving his arms at a weird angle.

“Hobi?”

“Hang on Kook, I’m busy,” he draws out the last word contemplatively and Jungkook can see him set something small aside. It’s a screw. He’s holding a screwdriver. He’s unscrewing the hinges on the bathroom door.

Jungkook almost laughs, walking over and leaning down to whisper curiously, “Does he know you’re doing this?”

“Jimin? No. Or at least he’s about to-”

“Not him. Jin.”

Hoseok slows to a stop, the second screw wobbling against the head of the tool.

“I… no?” He groans and starts twisting it back in. “Fucking renter’s agreement.”

There’s a giggle behind the door and Hoseok pauses as if contemplating continuing. Jungkook pats the older boy’s shoulder, probably saving Jimin’s ass. How could he not help though? He has to seem impartial, but how could he not help Jimin?

“You can eat his food next time,” Jungkook sympathizes. “I’ll help you steal it from him too.”

The giggling stops.

Hoseok grumbles as he picks up the screw from the floor and replaces it, fixing the hinge before standing, dusting himself off.

“Park Jimin, you won’t know when or where, but I will get you back for this.”

It might have been threatening if he wasn’t pouting.

Hoseok turns to leave, but pauses to give Jungkook a bright smile as he says, “Sorry for accusing you. Want me to get you something next time I’m at the store?”

“Banana milk?”

“You got it, kiddo.” Hoseok ruffles his hair fondly before heading back to the living room.

Jungkook is about to follow (at least as far as the kitchen) when Jimin’s muffled, whispered voice stops him, “Is he gone?”

“I think so,” Jungkook admits, but he’s really not sure. Maybe Hoseok is bluffing, will run right back around the corner when he hears the door. He would do something like that.

“Okay well, I’ll just stay in here until further notice then.”

“Have fun with that,” Jungkook laughs lightly and goes back to the kitchen.

Wow today has been wild start to finish and it’s not even done yet.

It doesn’t take long for Jungkook to find himself back in his own apartment, his bedroom to be exact and with his mouth full of instant ramen noodles, he can’t help but find it funny that while he’s editing (Jimin’s) porn as a large part of his photography career, he’s still embarrassed about it.

Jungkook’s cheeks are warm. His ears are too. And his chest. He blames the noodles, but he knows it’s the pictures. Maybe “embarrassed” is the wrong word.

After swallowing the last of the broth from the cup, he inserts the background onto the green screen that had been stretched behind the couch last night during the shoot. Is it strange that there’s a couch in what’s essentially a “magical” forest with wispy trees and bioluminescent flowers? Will people even care? It’s just porn, right? People jerk off to it and then close the file. Jungkook adjusts the lighting on Jimin, softening out some tones and changing the contrast to match the nighttime setting.

He takes a deep breath, tongue poking into his cheek as he edits the next, then the next. Jimin deserves more than this— three to five minutes if he’s lucky and the person doesn’t just move on to the next picture. He deserves to be kissed, touched, loved. But that’s not Jungkook’s job, no matter how much he wishes it was. Flipping through the photos one last time, he minimizes the file so he can come back to it with fresh eyes tomorrow.

Swiveling his chair, picking up the instant noodle container, he looks inside and pouts. Right. It’s empty. Why does he always eat these so fast? Maybe he’ll go get another one. Jungkook’s socked feet slide against the artificial hardwood floor as he heads to the kitchen for another cup, humming to himself as he throws out the empty one, then adds water and slips the second into the microwave.

“You know you’re supposed to heat up the water, then put it in the cup right?”

Jungkook startles immediately on the first word, but recognizes the voice by the third. He turns to face Jimin, who is sitting on the couch across the open concept room, laughing hysterically.

“How did you get in here? The door was locked.”

“Your bathroom window wasn’t,” Jimin says, laughter petering off into a sweet smile.

Jungkook pauses.

“You… climbed through the window?”

“Hell yeah,” Jimin says, standing up and humorously flexing his muscles. “I’m a strong guy, scaling down the sides of buildings.”

He’s never sure what transition is more jarring, seeing Jimin in regular clothes or seeing him without any clothes on at all.

“You’re strong and stupid enough to climb a whole story down, but won’t just… leave the bathroom?” Jungkook asks.

“And face Hobi? No way.”

“What’s the worst he could do to you? Like really.”

“It was the last goddamn hot pocket.”

“Okay true. But why’d you climb down here?”

Jimin giggles, “I was bored in the bathroom all by myself.”

Blushing and shrugging in a weak attempt to cover said blush, Jungkook enjoys the moment of relative peace before something inevitably happens. Something always happens. Hoseok will burst through the front door, demanding Jimin’s head on a platter. Namjoon will come home, announcing he’s found another great, miraculous benefit bestowed upon the human race by green tea. Or Yoongi will walk in, announcing he’s no longer friends with Namjoon because of the way the younger says “pronounciation” when it’s supposed to be “pronunciation.”

But the only thing that interrupts the quiet lull is the beeping of the microwave. Jungkook turns back to the kitchen and retrieves his steaming cup, then goes to the living room to sit on the couch near but not next to Jimin. One boy eats his instant noodles while the other taps at the screen of his phone. It’s nice.

And then Jimin looks up, eyes widening in what must be realization.

“I didn’t unlock the door.”

Jungkook is confused. “Yeah? You don’t have a key to our apartm-?”

“Not that door. The bathroom. I didn’t unlock the bathroom when I left,” he sighs heavily. “Jin’s gonna kill me now too.”

“Why? Don’t you have that little wrench key thing that you can stick in the handle?”

“No I threw it out the window last time.”

“You mean when Jin made the banana bread?”

“Yeah, and then the hot sauce…” Jimin slowly sinks in on himself, dropping his phone on his lap to tangle his fingers in his hair, tugging as if it’ll pull out the answers he desperately needs. “I have to get back in there.”

“Back in the bathroom?”

“Yeah.”

“And how are you planning on doing that?”

Jimin hums, his eyebrows pinching, “A ladder?”

“To the third floor?”

“Ladders go that high, right?”

“Why don’t you just go up there and ask for help? Maybe Hobi could undo the hinges.”

“I don’t think that’d work,” Jimin frets. “Wouldn’t it still get stuck? Because of the little metal bolt thing? Like would we even be able to get the door out of the frame?”

Jungkook can’t help laughing, “And a ladder is better?”

Jimin leans over and gives Jungkook a playful shove, almost spilling the instant noodle broth, “Shut up I’m trying to think of something.”

“Oh, what if someone needed to pee and they think you’re still in the bathroom?”

“Jungkook.”

He laughs shamelessly, just teasing. Stressing Jimin out over little things is funny, especially considering how much he stresses Jungkook out regularly.

“Or wait, even better, what if they need to take a shit?”

“Fuck you,” Jimin whines, picking up his phone. From what Jungkook can see, he’s googling “how far up can ladders go.”

“If you’re so worried, why don’t you just climb back up?” Jungkook is joking, for the most part. No one would be stupid enough to—

“I don’t think I’d be able to do that.”

“Well duh.”

“But I bet you could.”

Jungkook almost chokes on his next bite of instant noodles, “Me?”

“Yeah. You have some pretty big muscles. Couldn’t you like, pull yourself up or whatever?”

No he can’t just like pull himself up or whatever.

“You want me to climb through the window?” Jungkook rephrases his thoughts, then sets aside his half finished (second) meal.

“For me, Kookie. Please?”

His hesitation falters, “Well, I’m not saying I’ll do it, but I’ll go look.”

Ten minutes later, Jungkook, trembling and sweaty, heaves himself into the third story window. It wasn’t difficult so much as terrifying. He’s much more timid than his body type and occupation suggest. The worst part? Jungkook is a fool and he goddamn knows it.

“You okay?” Jimin whisper yells from the bathroom below.

Jungkook tumbles onto the floor and lays prone for a moment, thankful that it was only a thud instead of a crash. He breathes deeply, then forces himself up to look out the window, down at Jimin.

“I’m alive.”

“Good okay so you can unlock it?”

Jungkook laughs, “Is that all I’m good for? Opening doors?”

“No of course not! You’re also great at taking really pretty pictures of me,” Jimin winks up at him with a big, cheeky smile.

“Asshole.” He blames his red cheeks on the physical exertion.

Jungkook rolls his eyes affectionately and closes the window to shut Jimin’s reply out, not too worried about replacing the screen quite yet. He walks over to the door and unlocks it, but then the handle turns, barrier opening away from him to reveal a complete stranger with fiery red hair held up by a faded navy blue bandana.

“H-hello,” Jungkook greets, trying to find a smile to plaster on his face that doesn’t read as startled, even though that’s pretty much all he feels at the moment.

“Hi,” the stranger looks just as shocked, his eyes wide, eyebrows raised. His voice is surprisingly deep.

It must be weird, talking to someone on their way out of the bathroom while you’re on your way in. It must be even weirder when Hoseok walks by and does a double take, backtracking.

“Kook? When did you get in there? I thought Jimin was hiding-”

Jungkook lets out a small distressed huff, cheeks heating up as he attempts to leave. He is unsuccessful. The unfamiliar boy bumps into Jungkook as they try to shuffle past one another. Two large hands come up to rest on Jungkook’s shoulders and he’s moved gently aside, now standing in the hallway, though still facing the boy with the fiery red hair.

The guy nods as if satisfied and smiles. It’s bright, a little boxy, and makes Jungkook instinctively want to wrap him up in a soft blanket with a glass of chocolate milk. The hands leave his shoulders and the smile turns into a soft, deep giggle.

The door closes between them.

“That’s Taehyung,” Hoseok explains after a few seconds, leaning against the corner of the wall at the end of the short hallway.

“Wait, hot-Taehyung from the retirement home?”

Pause.

Jungkook laughs, “Wow that sounded much weirder than I thought it would.”

“Hot-Taehyung that volunteers at the retirement home?” Hoseok offers.

“Better,” the younger of the two nods.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“What’s he doing here?”

“He’s crashing on the couch for a couple days. I’m not really sure why. Jin just said he needed a place to sleep and as long as he cleans up after himself I don’t mind.”

“If your standards were that low, I would’ve moved in and not paid rent months ago,” Yoongi interjects with an amused snort as he walks past, probably toward the kitchen.

“And then I would’ve kicked you right back out to your old apartment,” Hoseok’s voice is high pitched in a baby-talk coo.

“How long is he staying?” Jungkook asks before Yoongi can retort.

Hoseok shrugs, “However long he needs I guess.”

Yoongi walks past the hallway again, now with a plastic Spider-Man cup in hand, muttering, “This is ridiculous.”

“What is?”

Yoongi stops walking to answer Jungkook’s question, “You can’t tell me this doesn’t sound like the plot of some bullshit ridiculous romcom.”

“Romcom?”

“Romantic comedy,” Hoseok clarifies.

“Like, some random guy who’s a friend of a friend shows up to crash on your couch. At least he’s not someone’s sworn enemy or whatever.”

“Yoongle, you watch too much anime.”

“Hobi, if you ever call me that again, I will fry your testicles and eat them.”

Hoseok gasps in delight, “Well that’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard you say. I didn’t know you liked me that way! You should’ve just told me you wanted to suck my—”

The toilet flushes and the bathroom door opens.

Apparently, that’s Yoongi’s cue to leave.

“Taehyung,” Hoseok, who apparently has no fear of death, transitions seamlessly and with a big smile. “This is Jungkook. He’s a little awkward but…” Pause. “Yeah. He’s just awkward.”

Jungkook gives Hoseok a good shove, making the older boy cackle. After shaking hands, Taehyung laughs lightly, his voice still surprisingly deep for his soft features, “Nice to meet you.”

Is it weird they’re having this conversation outside the bathroom? It’s totally weird. It breaks like at least five unsaid bro-code bathroom rules.

“Same,” Jungkook adds lamely, wincing on the inside. Social skills. He has those. “So you, ah, work with Jin and Hoseok?”

Taehyung shakes his head, tone polite, “Nah. I just volunteer.”

Fuck. Hot-Taehyung who volunteers at the retirement home. How could he forget that?

“Well that’s cool. Any specific reason?”

“I spent a lot of time with my grandma there so I knew a bit about it. Thought I might as well help in my free time. Elderly people require love and attention too, yknow?” Taehyung laughs lightly again, seeming a little awkward as well. It’s reassuring.

“True.” Jungkook decides to not comment on the fact that “spent” was in past tense. He might be reading into it too much.

Silence.

Hoseok clears his throat, “So… where’s Jimin?”

“Hiding from you,” Jungkook answers easily.

Hoseok looks like he’s about to go peek in the bathroom, but Taehyung stops him with a chuckle, “I can assure you, there was no one in there.”

He doesn’t have to say a word. The look on Hoseok’s face clearly reads “then where did he go…?”

“Taehyung? What do you want to drink?” Seokjin’s voice comes from the kitchen.

“What do you-?” the boy with the fiery red hair asks, then quietly excuses himself with a small smile, “Might as well go look instead of shouting right?”

Jungkook nods and is subsequently left alone with Hoseok, who now makes an “I’m watching you” gesture. Life is strange. Jungkook is now an accessory to a hot pocket murderer. Namjoon is not amused at Yoongi’s attempt at a card trick with his “carrot cards.” Jin is, on an unrelated note, reminded that he is out of carrots which he wanted to add to the stir fry for dinner. Hoseok goes to the store and comes back with banana milk, hot pockets, and no carrots. And Jimin ends up spending the night on the couch instead of going back to his own apartment. No one blames him.

This is the first night Taehyung is here.

Jungkook looks at the clock.

12:05am

Okay, it’s totally tomorrow. He pushes back the blankets and walks over to his desk, waking up his computer. A quick password later and he’s navigating through his folders, finding Jimin’s most recent photoshoot.

Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek, trying to be gentle with his sensitive skin while wanting to relieve the bubbling guilt inside of him as he opens up the first picture. It looks fine. He just has to adjust a few shadows in the cape and lighten a few of the leaves on the crown. He wouldn’t dare change anything about Jimin’s body. It’s not that Jimin wouldn’t like it, or would disapprove, it’s that Jungkook doesn’t want to change anything. He’s perfect the way he is.

He touches up one picture after another, trying to keep his attention off of Jimin’s toned muscles, smooth skin, the neatly trimmed pubic hair, and the swell of— obviously, he’s doing a bad job. Does that mean he wants to look? To notice?

From the start of their relatively informal contract, Jungkook had promised himself that he wouldn’t masturbate to Jimin’s content. He thought it might create a conflict of interests. But maybe… just once?

No. Not once. That would lead to twice, and then every time.

Jungkook clenches his fist to divert blood flow, breathing deeply and thinking of unsexy things. Like essays and taxes. He saves the photos and closes the folder, heading back to bed, curling under the blankets that he pulls up to his nose, trying to push those thoughts aside.

Don’t…

His eyes squeeze closed for a moment and he takes a small, shaky breath, fingers brushing over his tummy, then slipping under the waistband of his boxers. Jungkook’s whole body shivers pleasantly as he palms himself. How does Jimin manage to be so fucking sexy? It’s ridiculous. Effort. So much effort to be so beautiful.

He squirms as he wraps his fingers around his dick, pumping slowly. Jungkook doesn’t know why, but he likes to abuse his senses, touches light and soft and fleeting until he’s left whimpering quietly into his pillow so Namjoon and Yoongi won’t hear him.

Sometimes, he’ll indulge himself and pretend his hand is Jimin’s. It’s terrible and cliche but the thought always sends a flood of pleasure through him. Those soft palms, thick fingers. What Jungkook wouldn’t do to have Jimin tease him, edge him a few times.

His hips rock forward subconsciously, thigh muscles tensing, and his grip purposefully loosens, making a hot thread of frustration pull through his lower abdomen.

Jungkook turns onto his back, planting his feet to thrust up into his hand, fingers only just brushing the sensitive head of his dick. It doesn’t take long for the dry friction to become too much. His jaw clenches and he forces himself to let go long enough to pull open his nightstand drawer. One squirt from a small bottle of easily concealed lube later and he finally gives in.

Jungkook pushes down his boxers, kicking away the blankets, closing his eyes as a hand wraps around his dick. He’s lost to the fantasy in seconds. Plush, full lips quirked up in a smirk. Toned muscles and smooth skin. Small hands, one pumps vigorously, grip getting tighter and causing Jungkook’s teeth to set hard together, whole body tensing and relaxing in waves.

“You want me that bad huh?”

Jungkook nods.

“What do you want me to do to you, Kookie?”

Anything you want.

“Anything?”

He nods again.

Jimin’s fingers, slick from lube and warm from skin contact, tease Jungkook’s entrance.

“Want me to touch you here?”

Yes.

“How much? Tell me, Kookie.”

So much. Please…

“Let me hear you then.”

Jungkook whines quietly as Jimin slowly presses one finger in, letting Jungkook adjust before his second knuckle slips past the ring of muscle and the digit gently curls, pushing against the spot that makes his whole body jerk and shudder. He whimpers. His dick twitches and Jimin grabs it with his free hand, twisting his wrist on an upward pull. Jungkook feels like he could combust at any moment, be found the next morning as a pile of ashes on his bed.

“Look at you, so eager. You want me to fuck you?”

Yes.

“Say it.”

I want you to fuck me…

“Like you mean it.”

Jimin pushes in a second finger, causing Jungkook to wince at the abrupt stretch, but if asked, he couldn’t say he didn’t like it.

I want you to fuck me into the mattress. Bend me over and take control—

Jimin’s hand on his length slows, fingers inside him crooking up and making tears prick at the corners of Jungkook’s eyes. He’s so close. His palm comes to rest on the sensitive head of Jungkook’s dick, circling with his rough palm.

Except Jimin’s hand isn’t rough.

The illusion is broken, however thin it was to begin with. He wants to wait, at least try to look up some soft non-Jimin porn or something, but he’s too close. With a frustrated grunt, Jungkook spills onto his own hand in the most unsatisfying orgasm he’s had in a while. He can feel the warmth soaking into his shirt and sitting on his thighs, adding to the growing feeling of self disgust.

It doesn’t help when he remembers that Jimin is just down the hall, sleeping soundly on the couch.

The bang against the wall startles Jungkook so bad that he can feel some of the semen slide off of his thighs and presumably seep into his sheets.

Yoongi’s voice comes through the wall, muffled, a harsh raspy whisper, “Hey, if you’re gonna jerk off at least be quiet about it.”

Jungkook feels like he’s going to throw up. Yoongi heard that? Well, at least he hadn’t done something dumb and even more cliched like said Jimin’s name out loud. The dumb thing he does do is inattentively comb his fingers through his hair.

Jungkook’s friends are… weird, to put it gently. But he is too, so he like, has to love them. It’s practically an obligation at this point. Besides, there is more than sufficient blackmail material between the six of them, from pictures at birthday parties to that one video of Yoongi “singing” at the Christmas party, which Namjoon had insisted was a “celebration of all December holidays so we can be inclusive” despite none of them even knowing what Kwanzaa is or how to spell it. Naturally, this prompted a quick Google by Namjoon, who proceeded to turn off the music and make everyone sit down so he could explain. Jungkook thought it was sweet, but that’s all beside the point.

Day two with Taehyung staying over at Seokjin, Hoseok, and Jimin’s apartment isn’t absolutely-tastelessly-drunk-karaoke-with-rental-parrots-on-Seokjin’s-birthday weird. It’s not even shooting-niche-porn-of-one-of-your-best-friends weird. It’s weird in the way that leaves a stain on Jungkook he’ll never be able to rub away, despite all of the other unbelievably strange things that happen to him on a day to day basis.

Jimin clings to Jungkook’s arm, using him as a shield as the two of them walk upstairs so Jimin can get ready for his non porn related desk job.

“I seriously doubt he’s still mad,” Jungkook says quietly as Jimin fumbles with his keys.

“Have you met Hoseok?”

“Yeah. He’s a really nice dude.”

“You haven’t lived with him,” Jimin shudders, probably at a memory. “He screams sunshine and shits rainbows. But then you piss him off.”

“Then don’t piss him off?”

This comment earns Jungkook a smack to the crotch. He would be… kind of flustered that Jimin touched his dick? But he’s too focused on it hurting like hell right now? It probably wasn’t meant to injure him, just a playful jab, but Jungkook is a sensitive boy please love him.

The door opens and as Jimin enters with Jungkook half waddling, half staggering behind him. Immediately, like turning a corner and walking into a tangible wall that totally unfairly jumped out in front of him, the apartment smells like strong tea. That kind of spicy, maybe herbal tea that gets up into one’s nose and stays there for the rest of the day like a lingering scent that can be confused with a taste.

Jungkook’s nose scrunches in an instinctive emotion caught between disgust and shock.

“Want some tea?” Seokjin obliviously greets them from the small dining table, holding up a mug and smiling like he isn’t smelling and drinking death itself.

“I’ll pass, thanks,” Jungkook coughs subtly. He closes the door behind him and finally manages to straighten up, pain ebbing.

“What’s in it?” Jimin ventures, going over to the table to sit down next to Seokjin, who Hoseok wouldn’t dare upset, murdered hot pocket or otherwise.

“Tea,” Seokjin giggles as he takes a sip.

Jungkook fights the urge to gag.

“Taehyung made it,” he elaborates, gesturing with a nod to the adjacent kitchen. “He says it’s good for your sinuses, blood pressure, and immune system.”

“Don’t need an immune system if you die drinking it,” Jungkook mumbles, then laughs to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Jungkook’s just about to excuse himself, package (Jimin) safely delivered, but then he pauses as Jimin says, “So Taehyung’s still here? Like hot-Taehyung from the retirement home?”

“Yeah,” Seokjin giggles again, setting the mug down. “He’s in the shower.”

Jimin smirks, “Good to know. Cute clean boys first thing in the morning? That’s my shit right there.”

“Language.”

“You curse more than I do.”

“Park Jimin shut your fucking goddamn mouth I am older than you…”

Jungkook tunes out as the bathroom door opens. A few steps later, the boy with the fiery red hair, which is now dripping and plastered to his forehead, enters Jungkook’s line of sight as he walks into the living room, going over to a duffle bag placed thoughtfully out of the way. The towel hangs low on his hips, revealing tanned skin, toned muscles, and a soft tummy. Jungkook’s face gets warm as he averts his gaze. He’s not Jimin, but Taehyung is definitely... wait, don’t blatantly check out hot-Taehyung from the retirement home.

It takes him a second to realize the conversation has stopped.

“Is that him?” Jimin whispers with that slight lisp of his and thank goodness some of the windows are open to let in the white noise traffic sounds outside so Taehyung can’t hear everything. Then again, Jimin usually has no shame anyway.

“Yeah,” Seokjin smiles innocently, taking another sip of that godawful tea that has somehow managed to linger in the apartment like fog despite the aforementioned open windows.

Without another word to either of them, Jimin saunters away from the table.

“Shameless,” Seokjin muses.

Jungkook’s stomach twists.

“Hello, you must be hot-Taehyung who volunteers at the retirement home!” Jimin’s voice is chipper in the attractive way that is almost humanly impossible so early in the morning. “I’m Jimin, the third roommate who’s openly acknowledged as the cutest roommate with the best butt.”

“Debatable,” Seokjin huffs.

Jungkook waits for Taehyung to reject Jimin. The boy is practically naked, just out of the shower, and is being approached by this cocksure stranger who shows blatant interest in him. To be fair, while Jimin’s back is to Jungkook, he knows Jimin is giving Taehyung That Smile, the one that makes Jungkook feel a little sweaty, the one he only shows the camera and the absurdly attractive boys he always ends up sleeping with. Taehyung’s lips slowly settle into an obviously intrigued grin, one of his eyebrows rising subtly.

“Hello Jimin, cutest roommate with the best butt-”

“I don’t have to let you sleep on my couch,” Seokjin sing-songs, attention distractedly resting on the screen of his phone.

Jungkook decides to sit down at the table because why continue to stand there awkwardly? But he does this so abruptly that everyone’s collective, burning attention is drawn in his direction as the wooden chair screeches across the wooden floor. Jungkook wants to die or get swallowed up by the floor or hide in Seokjin’s ridiculously oversized hoodie because it looks comfortable. Any of those options sound better than accidentally interrupting a conversation while he was trying to eavesdrop.

Taehyung doesn’t miss a beat though, ignoring or showing Jungkook some mercy.

“Then… hello Jimin, debatably cutest roommate with the arguably best butt,” Taehyung corrects with an innocent smile directed at Seokjin.

“Good enough,” Seokjin approves without even a glance up.

The two boys turn back to each other, sharing (at least from what Jungkook can see) a humored, strangely intimate, knowing look, especially considering they just met.

“Maybe you should test it out sometime, see if it’s only arguably the best,” Jimin’s cadence is purposefully slow, clearly flirtatious, voice a little lower than normal. “Like maybe tonight?”

Jungkook tells himself that he the urge to vomit has returned because he gets a particularly potent whiff of Seokjin’s tea and not because of Jimin’s blatant sexual advances. But then:

Taehyung takes a breath between his teeth, making a small, regretful hissing sound, “Actually, I have to go volunteer tonight. Can I get a rain check?”

It takes Jimin a long time to respond. Like that type of scary pause that makes Jungkook think Jimin is considering the situation thoroughly. Most people don’t say no to Jimin. He just has this thing about him, or maybe several things that culminate into the sensation of being hooked, helplessly and yet willingly pulled toward him, transfixed by those beautiful eyes, the sound of his soft voice. No snake charmer or pied piper could ever compare. Or maybe that’s just Jungkook.

The worst part of all of this though? It wasn’t a “no.” It was a “not yet” and Jimin likes a chase.

“Absolutely,” the smirk is clear in his voice, the quiet musical lilt. “I’ll be waiting.”

Jungkook would rather swallow a cactus than continue to watch this unfold, so he gets up and quietly (like no loud scraping chairs thank fuck) leaves the apartment. As he walks down the stairs, palm ghosting the handrail, Jungkook can’t tell if he’s angry, sad, disappointed, or some other inappropriate emotion.

Jimin isn’t his. Never has been. They’ve known each other for more than a decade, but all they’ve ever been is friends.

It’s difficult because as his photographer, Jungkook gets to see him be beautiful, vulnerable, and seductive. It’s even more difficult because as his friend, Jungkook gets to see Jimin be relaxed, tired, and real. His chest constricts, but he fights it. Or at least he tries to.

The door to his own apartment closes behind him and Jungkook goes straight for the couch, falling into the embrace of the cushions and grabbing the nearest pillow to hug to his chest. He reaches for the TV remote to put on a Harry Potter movie that he unquestionably owns on DVD but will watch here with commercials because fuck knows why. Maybe to distract himself from the fact that he’s so in love and so alone and it fucking hurts hurts hurts like no physical pain he’s ever experienced. Not in high school dance practice, not at the gym— not even the time he fell out of a tree and broke his wrist in three places.

He can deal with that kind of pain, the kind that goes away, can get fixed with medicine or stretching or hot showers. This kind of pain stays, lingers, settles in Jungkook’s bones to make them feel like lead.

Not good enough, his brain whispers. Not even when doing your best.

Yoongi: [8:45 am]

So is he still alive?

Jungkook: [8:45 am]

Who?

Yoongi: [8:46 am]

That sexy fucker

That sexy fucker

Wtf

He changed the goddam

JI MIN

Jungkook: [8:46 am]

Lol

Yea

More than just alive prolly

Yoongi: [8:46 am]

???

Jungkook: [8:47 am]

Well he’s might be getting dicked down soon

Yoongi: [8:48 am]

Might?

Jungkook: [8:48 am]

Idk

Yoongi: [8:48 am]

Congrats to him I guess?

Jungkook: [8:50 am]

Yeah haha

Yoongi: [8:50 am]

We still getting takeout tonight?

Jungkook: [8:50 am]

Sure

Yoongi: [8:55 am]

Cool

Yoongi: [9:34 am]

You okay?

Kook?

Jungkook: [9:35 am]

Sorry I was

Uh

Jerking off?

Yoongi: [9:35 am]

Tmi dude

Jungkook: [9:35 am]

Lol jkjk

Yoongi: [9:36 am]

You just seem short haha

Jungkook: [9:36 am]

Ur the short one :P

Yoongi: [9:38 am]

Fuck you

Jungkook: [9:38 am]

Aren’t you supposed to be at work?

Yoongi: [9:39 am]

I am

Just on call

People can’t figure out how to turn their computers off and on again

I fucking swear

Fixes it like half the time

Jungkook: [9:40 am]

Aren’t they paying you to find and solve the actual problem??/?

Yoongi: [9:40 am]

I am solving the problem

With the least amount of effort

Jungkook: [9:40 am]

Lol

Sounds like you

Yoongi: [9:41 am]

Fuck you

Jungkook: [9:41 am]

Boo you already used that

Cliched

Not creative

Boooooo

Yoongi: [9:42 am]

.

Jungkook: [9:42 am]

Don’t be mad

Yoongi: [9:42 am]

.

Jungkook: [9:42 am]

Dude

Jungkook: [9:55 am]

Can’t ignore me forever

I live w u

Yoongi

Gi

Yoon

Shit they sent out of order

Min Genius

Yoongi: [9:42 am]

?

Jungkook: [9:42 am]

^-^

Yoongi: [9:43 am]

Yeah yeah fuckin brat

Friends:

Hoseok: [2:10 pm]

Why can’t we have a fun group chat name?

Hoseok has changed the group chat name to Cute Little Fuckers

Namjoon: [2:11 pm]

Because YOU kept changing it to inappropriate things

And THEN kept texting me during work hours

Hoseok has changed the group chat name to Generic Friends

Jimin has changed the group chat name to Generic BEST Friends

Hoseok: [2:11 pm]

Why can’t you just

Have your coworkers not care about what our gc name is

Jimin: [2:11 pm]

Yeah Joon why

Hoseok: [2:12 pm]

Yeah Joon y

Jimin: [2:12 pm]

Yea y

Namjoon: [2:12 pm]

Because they are bourgeoisie pigs who conform to societal expectations

Hoseok: [2:13 pm]

....

Jimin: [2:13 pm]

Booo boring answer

Namjoon: [2:13pm]

No it’s not :(

Seokjin: [2:13 pm]

Hobi

Where are you?

You left to get the diuretics 10 mins ago

Hoseok: [2:13 pm]

I... got lost?

Seokjin: [2:13 pm]

You’ve worked here longer than I have

Try again

Hoseok: [2:14 pm]

I... messed up the paperwork?

Seokjin: [2:14 pm]

Try again

Hoseok: [2:14 pm]

Ms Piper scares the living shit out of me?

Seokjin: [2:15 pm]

That’s acceptable

I’ll tell her you died

Hoseok: [2:16 pm]

Rip me

Namjoon: [2:18 pm]

You two sure text a lot at work

Yoongi: [2:18 pm]

And u snore when u sleep

Lmao

Namjoon: [2:18 pm]

THST IS NOT MY FAULT

IT IS A MESICAL COMDITION

Hoseok: [2:19 pm]

Rip Namjoon

Hoseok: [2:32 pm]

Is no one gonna mourn our deaths?!?

Yoongi: [2:33 pm]

Rip

Jimin: [2:33 pm]

Rest in peace. You were both so loved.

Yoongi: [2:33 pm]

Not by us but by someone

Jimin: [2:33 pm]

Rip Hobi and Joon x2

Jungkook watches the group chat with some disinterest. Over the past year, he’s found that one of the bad things about being a freelance photographer who is mildly successful is that somedays, he has a lot of free time, free time to do chores, run errands, refine his craft, make connections, put together a portfolio, and most frequently— this being the bad part— free time to have a soft existential crisis.

It’s soft because it doesn’t really involve questions like “why am I here?” and “what is the meaning of life?” It’s more like “why did I drop out of college to become a photographer?” and “why does Namjoon keep telling me to drink water with nasty grass seeds in it?” More often than not, it has a lot to do with Jimin too.

His phone buzzes and prompts a quick look, but it’s only Seokjin asking for Hoseok again. Jungkook won’t lie, he’s kind of disappointed no one has mentioned the fact that he hasn’t said anything in a while. But they’re a bunch of guys who are busy at work and distracted by the antics of the day. Jungkook is just one friend among six, lost in a sea of other things to talk about.

He almost smirks. Since when has he been so melodramatic?

A knock on the door causes Jungkook’s attention to drift out of the living room for the first time in hours. Who could that be? Namjoon and Yoongi are both at work. Maybe Hoseok finally decided to run from Ms. Piper and locked himself out again. Or maybe it’s one of the neighbors asking him to dog sit or whatever. Mindlessly, Jungkook gets up and heads to the front door. He opens it without a second thought.

Fiery red hair.

“Hey, it’s Jungkook, right?”

Taehyung, now fully clothed with his hair styled up in the faded navy bandana, gives Jungkook a small smile.

“Yeah,” he confirms, fingers curling subtly against his palm in an attempt to quell a sudden burst of aggression.

He isn’t sure what to feel. Yes, part of him is burning with petulant jealousy that Jimin has flirted with Taehyung instead of Jungkook; but another part of him wants to know who the fuck Taehyung is to turn down someone like Jimin; and a third part of him wants to get rid of both of these feelings altogether, simply because Taehyung has the right to choose too.

“So I kind of... locked myself out of Jin’s apartment? It was an accident,” he laughs, sounding a little guilty. “And he said you lived one floor down, so I was thinking maybe I could just hang out with you for a while. Just until they get back. Unless you’re busy. Don’t wanna be a bother.”

Jungkook fights with himself for a moment. Right thing to do right thing to do right thing to do. Reluctantly, he nods, stepping aside so Taehyung can come in.

“Make yourself at home- but don’t turn the hot water sink handle in the bathroom.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm, though he tries to keep a cool tone. “Okay?”

Jungkook can’t help himself, laughing lightly, “It’s broken. Just trust me. No one’s owned up to it yet but I’m pretty sure it was Hobi or Namjoon.”

Taehyung visibly relaxes, “Ah, alright I’ll take your word for it. I wasn’t sure if I was in trouble or about to unleash some ancient curse on us.”

“By turning a faucet handle?”

“You never know.”

Jungkook laughs openly this time, closing the door and leading the way to the living room. Oddly enough, he suddenly feels a little more relaxed around Taehyung.

[Next Part]

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The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: #BTSxCitiField

Wow. I’m home back from New York, where I had the amazing gift of being able to see BTS live on their Love Yourself world tour. I’m literally out of words to describe it, but I’ll try.

I saw in someone’s post about seeing them on the Wings tour that they were sad for a week after and I thought to myself, “it’s just a concert! How the heck would that happen?”

...and here I am, having cried a bunch of times in the last two days (though none of them actually during the concert, there was too much adrenaline), now I am living it.  I really feel it in my body. I’m exhausted. My voice is destroyed from so much cheering and fan-chanting. But I’m also sort of happy about that, because it’s a marker of having gone through that experience and I want to hold onto that. I was off work Monday and spent the entire day at my house watching Bon Voyage and Run episodes (didn’t realize they were only 20 minutes!!) to console myself.

I’m sad the concert’s over, and I’m also sad that the Love Yourself era is also basically over too, some additional concert dates notwithstanding. This era really encapsulates everything I love about BTS: their positive message, their incredible songwriting and producing and music in general, and their growth as artists. I have complete faith in our boys that whatever comes next will be fantastic and that they’ll keep growing, I just desperately hope this isn’t their peak. But regardless, I’m glad I got to see this show because it felt like such a special one—their first sold-out North America stadium show. And it seems like BTS felt like it was special as well.

I’m also feeling intense love, because love is at the heart of it all. BTS’ love for ARMY and their earnest and sincere desire that we love ourselves, and be our best selves (see: Magic Shop, etc). And ARMY’s love and deep appreciation for BTS seeing us and our struggles, and believing in our ability to succeed. I was a little leery of calling myself an ARMY before this concert, mostly because of ARMY’s reputation on the internet as being kind of a crazy and intense fandom, but I fully embrace ARMY-dom now, because I understand that it’s really all about love.

So to recap, I’m going to do some best-ofs and link to Twitter and Insta pictures and videos. My phone camera is the literal worst, which is why I unfortunately don’t have any of my own!

Best deep thought: RM, our leader, always and forever. Sometimes I forget that he’s a literal genius because he’s also so derpy and cute, and then it’s moments like this that I re-remember that he does absolutely nothing related to their music or public presentation by accident or without forethought.

Via @mimibtsghost

He—and all of them, really—understand so well their role in our lives and our role in theirs. ARMY loves BTS, and BTS loves all of us so much, and truly wants us all to be happy and to live our best and whole selves. RM literally said this in his UN speech (which he also mentioned). When he says Speak Yourself, I think what he means is a combination of “Tell your story,” “Speak out,” and “Speak your truth.”

Best bias wreck: Jimin

Now I’m one of those people who legit loves all the members almost the same (except for Jin, I don’t love him quite as much) and my biases are Suga and V, but only by a little. But oh my goodness, Jimin was such a bias-wrecker in this concert. His solo set was ridiculous, he was wearing this beautiful sparkly top and did his amazing lyrical dance moves. So many eyebrow quirks and hearts. I’m completely dead. The friend I was with is a Jimin stan, and I think they were like, “how did it take you this long???” I now have three coequal biases. Here’s a good one, and this cutie pic.

Best corny-yet-adorable moments: J-Hope and V

J-hope’s Trivia: Just Dance stage was J-Hope being a major hype-man for the entire concert. And oh man, did it work. He’s such an exuberant live performer and the perfect choice for the second song. That white suit?? And his joy and enthusiasm is completely infectious. Hope World was my favorite of the three rappers’ mixtapes, and I was happy that his Trivia song was very much in that style, lots of old-school rap vibes. His joy is just so pure.

Also, Taehyung’s sign-off for ARMY at the end of the show: “You are the brighest stars in my universe.” Corny, but sweet and touching; also poetic because the ARMY bombs really do look like stars to the performers on stage, and we are orbiting around them, pulled into their gravity. Ah, V, so poetical as always <3

Unexpected song I liked live: Epiphany

Jin’s not my favorite member (see above), and I’m honestly a bit mystified by why people seem to like him so, so much. I’m also not a lover of ballads, usually, and the Epiphany video was fine but not one of my favorites. But I really liked this song live, way more than I was expecting to. Jin does have a really great voice, and it’s a bit less breathy than Jungkook’s in particular (still love you, Jungkook, you also sound great live!) He really gave a powerful vocal performance, and I’m going to put Epiphany back in my listening rotation…..after I listen to Suga’s I Need You x Seesaw remix another 15 times, sorrynotsorry.

Best gay/ship moments: Vkook, Suga

Vkook showed up again at this concert in force! One moment I saw myself, one I missed and found later on Twitter.

1) Tae hopped onto Jungkook’s back for a piggyback ride. It was super-brief but I know it happened because I distinctly remember thinking, “huh, usually Tae hops on Jungkook’s back, but Jungkook hopped on Tae’s this time. Interesting!” Turns out I was wrong and Tae hopped onto Jungkook as usual! Here’s a still, via @harchu2

2) Apparently, Tae also gave Jungkook a little kiss and/or nuzzle on the neck at the end. I completely missed this myself, but hey, it’s there on the video. Vkook, you’re being so loud <3

Suga’s Seesaw performance also pinged my gaydar in a major way, I’m not even sure why myself. He started off lying on this white couch. And he’s just so sassy. And this sparkly red top with a sash that he was wearing. Suga, you’re the best. Here’s a really nice pic, via @maggiejslg + Seesaw clip

Best PSA: RM

Three separate times, RM said that we shouldn’t shove one another for our safety. Our boys are so considerate and want everyone to have a good time!

Most impressive stunts: V, Suga

V’s Singularity set was fcking amazing. He’s really the most stellar performer, such a true artist. It seems positively unbelievable that he’s only 22 (what the heck was I doing when I was 22??). His little video before his solo stage (all members had them) was him surrounded by dark flowers and a pane of glass that frosted over. The hand-in-the-coat dance, and his backup dancers with masks that moved with him…the visuals of his set were stunning, and his singing was really stellar live (well, truly, everyone’s was). Here’s a clip.

In Suga’s Seesaw performance, he did this slick little stunt where he slid down a lit white long prop bar, like a seesaw. It looked really cool. I love the song Seesaw, it really shows how versatile Suga is, and his performance was a giant f-you to everyone who thinks he can’t sing or dance.

Best surprise songs: Dope and So What

Dope has always been one of my favorite songs. It’s so clearly and lovingly descended from 90’s American boy band stuff, but updated and, frankly, better. It’s got the killer hook and the great dancing, and is almost always the first video I show someone when I’m trying to explain why I love this K-pop band so much. I thought there was next to no chance of their playing it, but they did!!! I can die happy now. It was part of the medley in the middle, including Boyz With Fun, Attack On Bangtan, Fire, Bapsae (another one I was thrilled to hear), and Dope.

So What is also lowkey my favorite LYS: Tear track (though like the members, really only by a little on what’s a phenomenal album overall). I knew there wasn’t a dance for it so I didn’t think they’d play it, and was so, so thrilled when they did! It was like having a huge party with BTS and ARMY at the end of the show.

Best emotional vulnerability moment: Jimin

Jimin did some excellent crying at the end of the show, when they all came out in black t-shirts and addressed ARMY directly. Oh my goodness, it was so cute and sweet. They’ve really come so far; Yoongi tends to respond through bravado and celebrating their accomplishments, and Jimin cries. I just love so much that he’s modeling being emotional and vulnerable, and everyone just wants to give him a big ol’ hug.

Such beautiful crying.

Best Jungkook moment: End filming

At the very end of the concert, right as they were about to sink down into the floor, Jungkook grabbed a camera and started filming ARMY. I was just like, “wow, they want to remember this night just as much as we want to.”

Favorite fanchant: DNA

There were so many fun fanchant moments. My only regret is that I didn’t learn the words to Seesaw better (@StanningBTSpod, you did warn me, I should have!) But DNA has the name bit at the beginning, and BTS! BTS! BTS! in the chorus, it was just super fun. Toward the end of the concert honestly there was so much screaming and such that it was hard to even hear the fanchants. That was fine too! 

Happy me success moments 

Met the wonderful @daftlolita waiting in line to get into the venue, it was super great to hang out! 

I made this jacket, and got a bunch of compliments! My entire goal was to find other queer ARMYs and I think I pretty much succeeded. 

I also gave out most of the pins I made (made a bunch of extra ones precisely for that purpose). I don’t love Twitter that much and much prefer interacting with people in person, and generally feel like I succeeded on that front.

I kinda wish I’d gotten at least a little merch, but honestly the ticket was expensive enough. I also kinda wanted an ARMY bomb, but also, see ticket price. I tried to go to the BT21 store in Times Square on Sunday before I left and it was an hour wait so….no go on that one, I’ll get back to New York soon though.

At the end of it all, I cannot tell you how indescribably proud I am to call myself an ARMY. Although our fandom has its flaws for sure because we live in a broken world, to me, being an ARMY means co-creating a better world with BTS. A happier world.

A world where we love ourselves.

A world where there’s no stigma attached to mental illness and we can ask for the help we need

Where we take care of one another and are mindful of others (no shoving!!)

Where we celebrate and embrace difference

Where all young people have the resources they need to thrive

And where people of all races, genders, and ranges of life experience come together to express joy. I’m tearing up again as I write this.

Arundhati Roy has this beautiful quote that I’ve seen around activist spaces. It goes, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”

I saw a small glimpse of that world at #BTSCitiField. Janelle Monae will lead us through the narrow places into that world. Or, as BTS have it, from the desert to the ocean. And BTS will be there to make sure we drink enough water and are good to one another while we’re moving forward.

Suga, you said you’d be back. I’ll hold you to that promise.

And please, wear that red sparkly top again. It was absolutely killer. I purple all of you beautiful, special, luminous men who are making our world better, one song at a time.

[homieswithhades]

BTS Analysis;

I don’t even know if I can call this an unpopular opinion bc I know some people agree with this, this is more of an in-depth analysis and personal experience I guess. It’s all about bts... and its lowkey a mess. I apologise in advance for any grammar/spelling errors, and times I may contradict myself a bit. This is something that REALLY bothers me. I just want to clarify that I love bts a lot, and that I was the HUGEST STAN for a good 5ish months. I still stan them but not as much due to the following reasons.

They just don’t make good music anymore.  They love yourself era was when everything turned to shit. The actual core love yourself concept is very good but,,,, it was executed really poorly.

Dna was my first comeback with them, even though I’ve been listening to them since august 2016. But when actually became a stan in April 2017, I was obsessed with them. I was so damn excited for their September 2017 cb that my standards were through the roof. During the summer they changed the logo and did the beyond the scene thing,,, that’s the first thing that kind of irked me,,, and then they did the highlight reels in the style of I need u and they were redeemed.

When love yourself her started promotions and teasers, the bar was higher than the person who edited the DNA mv. The concept pics were so unfitting??? And just lacked that aesthetic element. I dint like them at all,,,, and the album cover was,,, below standard and looked rushed and lazily designed. But when serendipity came out I loved it (and I still do) so that fuelled my expectations for the music, even though they weren’t really that damaged by the odd first impression of the album. But then DNA came out and???? I was so disappointed?????? The beat was so annoying,,, the mv was so ugly,, the outfits were ugly,,, the lyrics were weird. In other words DNA was just a straight up flop... I hoped the rest of the album would have been better but,,,, it really, REALLY wasn’t.

After love yourself her I lost a lot of interest in bts. I missed their old music so much, and I was genuinely upset over it. I didn’t follow them as closely as I used to. I started to joke about them with my friends who lost interest in bts before me, but I still missed the old bts so much. The whole Ellen show thing, all the western media like Buzzfeed and Billboard making vids and articles about bts, all the rigged award shows, it pissed me off bc they were getting famous in the US bc of their worst album that didn’t display their full potential at all!!!!

Imma just go out and say it, armys are one of the most toxic fandoms ever.

Sometimes they’re just plain disrespectful and starting arguments where they don’t belong. I wouldn’t be able to count how many times I got attacked on Twitter, Instagram and even in the YouTube comments for expressing a different opinion. I remember all the fan wars and scandals. All the mobs at airports, All the times k-fans and i-fans tried to ruin another groups reputation (I’m not saying other fans never did this, bc it was always a thing, but it was never this extreme.) and the fuckin credit card thing oh my god,,,, a huge shitstorm caused by one fandom that lasts for years on end.

When bts got really mainstream, and gained more young western fans, they really ruined bts even further for me. Not to mention all the cringey tweets and memes, they hurt to look at. I absolutely don’t mind the “you got no jams” meme or the “ExCuSE mE” one, bc theyre just pure goof from the members, but when armys took it and overused it, that’s when it started to get annoying.

Some armys genuinely think bts is the only kpop group and that the world revolves around them. They comment “annyeonghaseyo any armys here???!!!” in the most unexpected places, I deadass saw someone on my overwatch team playing quick play with the name “army.FOREVER.saranghae” yall do realise it costs 10$ to change ur blizzard username, right?

Some armys also don’t respect other kpop groups in older gens (or any other ones for that matter) and assume that bts broke through into the western world themselves, which is complete bullshit, without groups like bigbang, shinee, tvxq, shinhwa, h.o.t,  seo taiji boys etc etc (and other ones I don’t know of rip) kpop would have never gotten into the western world.

I never identified as an army bc I knew they were cringey bc of my friends who were HUGE armys back in 2016 and low-key koreaboos, and I knew what the bad stans looked like, so I never associated with them, and just called myself a bts stan. But the whole western situation just got so goddamn worse. I was sick of the Americans plaguing bts for me.

I also wanna say, I know not all armys are toxic and cringey. And I respect the level headed and chill Armys, yall are doing it right.

Moving on from Armys, I noticed a change in bts themselves. Namjoon changed his stage name, which absolutely sent me. I understand the meaning behind it but for some reason I felt that he did it to be fake deep? Or woke, and that he tried to completely cover-up his past self. The other members became cocky and were always draped in all that ugly Gucci and designer shit. I knew they were being forced to act the way they were acting, bc I know them well. I know how they really are. I know that they’re good people. I know they’re very humble deep down. They had that special connection with their fans before, that made u feel like u were good friends with them, and they absolutely ruined that. They’re being forced to put on this fake image to impress you filthy Americans.

I still stan bts atm. But I stan them for their old music and the people they truly are, not who they are portrayed to be. I can’t remember when euphoria came out, but I was kinda annoyed they tried to incorporate hyyh prologue into their shitty concept. And the song was also annoying and too edm-ish (like most of their new songs, idk why their style completely changed). Anyway, when tear came out, I was still kinda off the bandwagon, and I saw the concept pics and I was surprised at how nice they were. I saw the album cover, which was still ugly but better than the previous one. Then Singularity came out and!!!!! I loved it a lot. And then fake love happened. Oof is all I have to say. But some songs on the album, were actually good. Like the truth untold, paradise and OUTRO TEAR. Outro tear will remain the best song in the love yourself trilogy.

I also feel that I have to acknowledge that for all the love yourself albums only the intro and outro were genuinely up to standard (except outro answer).

Then came love yourself answer and idol. When I found out they were collabing with niki minaj I lost it. The concept pics were ugly once again, it was supposed to a controversial comeback???? And??? It wasn’t. I’m honestly glad it wasn’t promoted.

I noticed a repetitiveness with songs on answer. The beat was off with the singing. It was all just a mess. I also noticed the amount of godddamn auto tune in the songs (eg, mic drop, fake love, idol, airplane pt.2 and others I can’t remember atm) all of bts’s old songs all sound unique and different, and they all had this “emotional” element to them, to elaborate on that, compare dna, fake love or idol to save me, I need u or young forever. Notice how dna, fake love and idol convey absolutely no emotion through the lyrics or the actual beat of the song, unlike save me, I need u or young forever, that literally have more sentimental/emotional value in the few English lines that are in the song then all of the lyrics in their 3 new title tracks combined. I think this is my most difficult point to explain bc different songs make people feel different things, but it’s no doubt that you can tell the difference between a song that’s made to appeal to the masses with no unique properties to a song that coveys deep emotion (whatever the emotion may be) through the beat, the lyrics and the sound of the vocals/rapping alike. Listen to intro nevermind, and then listen to go go and just try to tell me that im wrong.

Alos, bts seem to have incorporated auto tune into songs, especially on their vocalists. bts don’t need the auto tune bc they’re good vocalists. Also, I have to mention, the vocal line isn’t the “best” per say. they’re good vocalists but it’s nothing special. Seokjin is the best vocalist period. Jungkook’s voice is generic, and in recent songs he has been straining it to reach the notes. Taehyungs voice isn’t even that special, it’s just deep, and it only really suits ballads and R&B songs like singularity or butterfly. Jimin has a very nice voice, but again, it’s nothing extraordinary. I feel that Jin has the most vocal potential, and he doesn’t get to show it, he has this really unique voice, idk what it is about it that just??? I really love it. But to clarify, I’m not hating on their voices or saying there untalented, because they’re very talented, but most of vocal line gets too much credit. As for rap line, I think they’re one of bts’s strongest points. Namjoons style is so smooth and just overall good? It amazes me that he rapped so well over the years with a breathing problem. Hoseok is a good rapper too, his sound is unique and his adlibs add to that uniqueness in older songs, as for Yoongi, I genuinely think he’s one of the best rappers in the industry, it’s not about the speed element, it’s about his flow, his power, his emotion, everything about his rap is just amazing.

Now I wanna talk about the member’s individual popularity. The maknae line has the most stans, and quite frankly, their stans are the worst. Treat all of the members with the same love and respect. Sure, it’s perfectly fine to have a bias but to disregard the other members is just plain wrong.

Bts are human beings, first and foremost, and then there musicians second. They’re being made into media puppets and clout bait, which they absolutely don’t deserve. They deserve recognition for their good stuff, which they have PLENTY of.

All in all, I’m sick of the American attention. It’s cringey, annoying and unnecessary. Sure, bts deserve recognition but not that much of it!!!!!!

And they were being recognised for the wrong thing for fucks sake!!!! I didn’t like ANY of the new songs on answer. I only liked epiphany. And then I found out it wasn’t written by any of the members. Rip. Fans will unfortunately blindly follow, stream and like whatever they put out like blind sheep because it’s accustomed to them, bighit KNOW that they’ll make more money in America. They know no matter what bts put out, no matter how shit it is, fans will like it and itll be revenue for the company. And all the mobile games and the bt21??? Was so unnecessary?? Capitalism amirite? Quantity over quality. It’s the sad truth.

Armys tend to mix up criticism and hate. Although there is a very thin line between the two, there is a difference. Criticism is the analysis and judgement of the merits and faults of something. Hate is blind and unjustified. Hate is disliking something for no reason, or for a very invalid reason. So for example, saying; “I don’t like this apple because its bitter and im not a huge fan of bitter things” is fine to say, unlike, “FUCK THIS APPLE BECAUSE ITS BITTER, FUCK ALL APPLES” you know? It’s okay to dislike a group. It’s NOT okay to hate on a group. No one’s is going to gain anything by hate.

So, all the youtubers are reacting to bts for clout, the fandom is a fucking mess, armys are attacking other fandoms for no reason, the members lost their TRUE humbleness and neglected their real personalities and they’ve put out 3 overall bad standard albums over the course of a whole ass year.

But I still have this spark of hope for them. Why? Because I love them, they have a special place in my heart. I know they have the potential to be amazing, unique and just overall good people with their own personalities, and truly special musical abilities.

After their tour I honestly, really hope the attention dies down and they put out another good, original, album like the hyyh albums, with nice concepts, good songs, and a pleasant to look at mv. It’s really all I ask for. The old bts. I know I’ll never get them back, and I absolutely cherish their old stuff, like the bulletproof logo, bangtan boys, rap monster, hyyh, young forever, no more dream, wings, them all goofing around together and not caring about their image, their wholesome interactions with fans, and all the songs and concepts and theories that never have, and never will be recognised.

On a final note, I realise I can’t blame bts themselves entirely for this. This stuff is only partially “their fault”. Its bighit’s fault, the army’s and haters fault and the media’s fault. But, America is to blame the most. That’s all for today.