#Quick Essay Writing Service

[astraystayyh]

skz when you are stressed and overworked

alternatively, what love languages of theirs would manifest <3 just a little smtg i wrote for anyone who's stressed,, sending you warm hugs <333

Chan : physical touch

you've been staring at your computer for the past four hours

so when you hear the front door open, you quickly run to the bathroom to freshen up

giving three quick slaps to your face so chan wouldn't notice how tired you are

but as soon as he sees you, he opens his arms wide, inviting you in with a soft smile on his face

once his arms encircle you, you feel yourself tear up

the hug is warm and comforting and it makes all your self-restraint dissolve

you start to sob, and chan tries to let go to look at you

but you only tighten your hold on him

so he bends down slowly to pick you up as he moves to the nearest couch

he sits there and your legs are straddling his lap, and he sways you gently, his hand threading through your hair

he doesn't let go as you cry your entire stress out

he just holds you tightly to him, your chest snug against his

he's just like "it's okay, you're okay honey, i got you"

when you pull away, hiccuping, he gently wipes your tears away

grabbing your face between his hands to place a kiss on your forehead

"breathe for me, sweetheart"

he doesn't let go of you the entire night

Minho : acts of service

minho can sense your breakdown coming

he notices how stressed you are

but he doesn't want to pressure you or force you to stop working

so instead, he tries to lighten your load

doing your laundry, buying your groceries for you, washing the dishes in your sink

small acts that he does in silence in the hopes that it will make you feel better

when it's 10 pm and he comes into your room

he sees you sitting in front of your mirror, staring blankly ahead, freshly showered

he gently squeezes your right shoulder and you melt into his touch, leaning your cheek onto his hand

he then sits you on the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of you to apply the products for you

when you see how concentrated he is at picking the right products and in the right order

you start to tear up

because of the stress but mostly because of how loved he makes you feel, since you notice every little action of his

so when you start crying he panics, rising up in an attempt to stop your tears from falling

"hey, hey, baby. I'm sorry I'll get the order right"

but you shake your head and grab him from the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you

you kiss him as hard as you can, trying your best to convey how grateful you are for him

Changbin : quality time + gift (in a food form) giving

Changbin can tell you are overworking yourself

so he tries to prevent a breakdown from happening

he knows that what you need is a distraction and a way to recharge yourself

so one night when you are busy working in your bedroom

he sneakily opens the door and pulls you by your hand

he treats you like a kid, picking you up and only placing you down to slip a pair of shoes in your feet

and pulling a hoodie over your head

then he's picking you up again and running to the street with you in his arms

once he's sure you won't run away, he places you down the ground and laces his hand with yours

he takes you on a walk, around the neighborhood, and he's like "what are you craving? what do you want to eat? I'll buy anything for you"

when you finally decide on a meal he takes you to a nearby park where you're alone

"tell me about it, baby" he tells you while you're both eating

so you vent about everything's that's bothering you

he listens to you intently and when you are done he's like "do you want comfort or advice?"

if it's comfort then he's telling you how proud he is of you and how everything you are feeling is valid

if it's advice then he's trying to figure out how you can write four essays in one day

but he'll be there with you

and when you are back home you're feeling very recharged

because a break with him is exactly what you needed

Hyunjin : quality time + physical touch

hyunjin knows that when you're stressed you tend to forget to take care of yourself

so he's always there to remind you

texts throughout the day, little notes left on your desk and fridge

"drink water baby!!" "did you eat? you should eat again"

but he also wants to do something really meagninful for you to help you destress

so one night when you are coming home from the library

you open the door and you are met with a candlelight dinner

and you can see a makeshift pillow fort built in the living room

as soon as he sees you he's all rambling "i know I'm not the best cook and i understand if you don't want to eat it and we can always order takeout-"

and you're like shut up and kiss me

and when you realize he's made you dinner and dessert and ordered your favorite icecream, you're tearing up again

but he knows how good it feels to cry so he just opens his arms for you and you bury yourself in him

he gently pats your back as you cry

and once you're done he smiles so brightly at you, bopping your nose with his finger

he's like "no more crying okay?"

and he spends the entire night trying his hardest to make you laugh

Han : words of reassurance

instead of leaving you alone when you are working

han is always there

he's besides you on the bed working on a track of his own

or just scrolling through his phone

but he's there, glancing at you from time to time as if you're a ticking time bomb

as soon as he notices that your sighs are getting longer and heavier

he stands up quickly from his place

he grabs your face between his hands, looking at you with wide eyes

"baby you are so smart you got this. and i love you. and i can't believe I'm dating the smartest person in the world"

just compliment after compliment and sometimes they are so far fetched you can't help but giggle

but when you are really at your lowest point and on the verge of breaking down

he just guides you to the bed and his voice is so soft

and it takes on that low tone of his, as if he hasn't been so sure about anything in his life

he's looking you right in the eye while telling you how proud he is of you

and you can't help but tear up at his words

because it gets hard and sometimes all you need to hear is that someone is proud of you

he then pecks your face all over

nose, eyelids, forehead and cheeks, until you are smiling widely again

Felix : physical touch + gift (in food form again) giving

he's a massage fairy i will die by this hill

at the end of the day he's always there ready to undo any knot in your body

he's so gentle with you, massaging your sore shoulders and neck

all while telling you how hard you worked today and how proud he is of you

and you can feel yourself relax completely from his touch

sleep doesn't come easily to you when you are stressed

since you can't help but overthink about everything going on in your life

so he's ready for you with a warm glass of milk and honey, or tea

he lays your head on his lap while he plays with your hair

telling you again how all of this hard work will be worth it and pay off in the end

sometimes you'd lay on his chest while he hums a lullaby under his breath

sometimes you'd just ask him to tell you a story, because his voice drowns out all the thoughts in your head

but he's always touching you throughout it

grazing your arms, massaging your scalp, playing with your fingers

anything to remind you he's there

once you're asleep he'd get up to make you cookies

so you'd eat them the next day and remember him by when he isn't around

Seungmin : quality time + words of reassurance

he knows not to push your buttons when you are stressed

so he leaves you be but he keeps an eye on you to make sure that you're still okay and not on the verge of breaking down

but once he can sense that you reached your limit

either because you are bouncing your leg up and down

or your head is now between your hands

he comes up from behind, placing a chaste kiss on your temple

if you hug him tighter then that's his cue that you need a break

and he's ready for it

he orders your favorite meal, plays your comfort movie and brings out your softest blankets

anything to make you feel comfortable

your legs are propped up on his lap and he gently skims his hand up and down them

when the movie is done, he turns off the tv and turns to look at you

"what do you need baby?"

if it's venting then he's there to listen and if you need to get back to work then he hugs you tightly to him, before ruffling your hair

and if you say "just you" then he's bringing you to his chest

he won't move an inch until you let go first

Jeongin : quality time + physical touch

jeongin came home late that day

so when he enters your room he finds you typing furiously on your laptop

and he's like hey! but you don't reply

so he leans from the side to look at you and then he notices how you are crying

your tears are wetting your keyboard and yet you are still typing

so he's panicking, grabbing your hands so you'd stop working

that seems to snap you out of your haze and you look at him, eyes full of unshed tears

he's like "are you okay? that's a stupid question you are not okay"

he just hates seeing you cry and he's always flustered at first when you are sad

but then he pulls you up and leads you to bed

he makes you sit on his lap and you are burying your face in the crook of his neck

"tell me what's wrong baby? is it work, hum?"

his tone is so soft and sweet and it makes you want to spill everything to him

so that's exactly what you do

you are rambling and you're talking about the essay and your stupid boss and then about how hungry you are and again about your essay

and he's just humming and listening to you intently and patting your head gently

when you are done he makes you pull away, before kissing your tear stained cheeks softly

and then he brings your hands to his mouth and he brushes his lips against your knuckles

"let's go for a drive hum? get your head off things"

he lets you pick the music and the destination

and he doesn't drive home until you've fully calmed down

[animehideout]

heyyy so for whenever you open your requests again, could you do the green/red flag thing for Sugawara, Yamaguchi, Hinata and Tsukishima? I really liked it alot... but feel free to ignore this if you don't want to write it! Have a nice dayyy 🩵🩵🩵

Haikyuu Boys Green / Red Flags ( IMO) part 3

Characters: Sugawara/ Tsukki / Hinata / Yamaguchi.

A/N : @flowerjun 🩷 , thank you so much for requesting, and I'm glad you enjoyed the other parts, I hope you enjoy this part as well. Have a nice day / night 💝💝💝💝💝

------------------------------------------------

Sugawara Koushi:

okay this man right here is a walking green flag 🥹, i luv him.

Green Flags 💚:

• Very mature, works hard for your future together.

• Very good at connecting with you and your energy.

• Responsible, takes a good care of you and everything concerning you.

• You have an exam? he'll help you study.

• You have an essay? he'll write it for you.

• Very considerate: you're his priority.

• Good at communicating, and solving conflicts.

• Healthy environment and healthy discussion whenever you argue.

• Very gentle and asks for consent.

• Stops whenever he feels that you're uncomfortable, even if sometimes you're not.

Red Flags ❤️:

• Most of the time he puts others before him 😭🥹.

• Not willing to take risks, no matter how hard you reassure him.

• Hesitant at first to try new things in your relationship ( you know what I'm talking abt).

• Very paranoid.

Tsukishima Kei:

Green Flags 💚:

• Very smart.

• Knows how to deal with situations concerning your relationship

• Attentive.

• He observes the progress of your relationship.

• Doesn't let anyone disrespect you or bully you.

Red Flags ❤️:

• Overly critical, ends up hurting your feelings.

• Emotionally distant most of the time.

• Expresses his love through passive acts of service.

• Not very intimate vocally or physically.

• Sarcastic and can take it too far.

Hinata Shoyo:

Green Flags 💚:

• Very supportive.

• Encourages you when it comes to your goals and dreams.

• Pushes you forward.

• Wouldn't let you give up.

• Cheerful.

• Brings positive energy and joy to your relationship.

• His laugh wipes your sadness/ stress away.

• Very loyal.

• Makes your relationship exciting.

• Very determined.

Red Flags ❤️:

• Impulsive.

• Takes quick decision without second thoughts.

• Brings unnecessary competition everytime (considers everything as competition)

• Doesn't know the term « personal space »

• Sometimes pushes you too hard to achieve something or get something done.

Yamaguchi Tadashi:

Green Flags 💚:

• Kind and sweet.

• Spoils you with gifts especially food.

• Expect cute nicknames.

• 100% loyal, has eyes only for you.

• Very understanding.

• Listens to you talk for hours without getting bored.

• Speaks softly to you even when arguing.

Red Flags ❤️:

• Overly sensitive, lets sadness/ anger take over him.

• Low self-esteem / lack of confidence when it comes to taking decision about your relationship.

• Simps for tsukki .. jk.

----------------------------------

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[youhavelessproof]

My way of life by Frank Sinatra is what Jason feels about Dick

(I just love when he worship Dick)

sorry for the late response I did not have service for multiple days!

however you are incredibly correct. Dick deserves to be worshiped and Jason is right there to do it.

honestly though, it is really accurate to part of their dynamic. like just canonically Jason has made a lot of himself be very defined by Dick though he expresses that... interestingly.

"Nothing in the world that I do means a thing without you I'm just half alive in my struggle to survive without you"

I mean-

"Never let you out of my sight, be it day, be it night You belong to me, that's the way it will be, wrong or right"

I mean-

I do love when Jaydick is this perfect mix of sweet and downright concerning. they love each other for better or worse. <3

Jay loves Dick so much he wants to hold him close to his chest and never let go. he wants Dick to save him he wants Dick to love him. love him without needing to live up to anything. Jay wants, needs, to be enough for Dick. he can give Dick everything he needs if Dick just loves him.

Dick is uh. more complicated.

Dick is a very interesting mix of attachment issues and avoidant style attachment. if y'all want me to talk about that (like I very much would love to write an essay on,) just ask but for now I will say Dick is very bad at being alone but also is very quick to isolate himself and run away.

however he can't really ruin Jason, right? Jason's already fucked up. Dick isn't making anything worse. and beyond that, maybe Dick can keep Jason from getting killed again if Jason is always with him.

all this to say you are correct anon and I love that for them.

[themetalvirus]

so... i've owned two fountain pen revolution himalaya v2s for a while now, and i have some thoughts.

TLDR: fpr is a small business and you shouldn't avoid buying from them, but the himalaya v2 is not worth your time unless you're an enthusiast who has access to a lot of hobby supplies.

if you want an essay on why that's my thought, keep on reading bestie

fountain pen revolution is a remarkably small company making their own proprietary nibs and pen bodies, which is already incredible. their ultraflex nibs are a pretty popular modern flex nib choice in the fountain pen community. another thing i see touted a lot and agree with is that they have fantastic customer service.

hang on... why have so many people had experiences with going to customer service?

well, to put it bluntly, their pens do not work out of the box and they don't tell you this anywhere on their website. for the lucky few, they have received their pen and been able to fill and write with it without issue. for the rest of us, their pens are nothing but issues when they first arrive.

if there isn't some kind of manufacturing error (which is common, and they are always quick to replace these), there's an issue that you have to fix yourself. if your pen is drooling ink, you need to grease the threads of the converter with silicone grease, and if you don't have any then fuck you. if that doesn't work, you need to heat set the nib, which involves dunking the pen in near-boiling water, but watch out, it can severely discolor ebonite pen bodies and may not even work the first few times you do it! marvelous!

their proprietary converters also love to drop their stems. as in, the physical plunger becomes dislodged from its designated socket in the construction and the pen refuses to fill, so you have to shove it back where it belongs with a paperclip or something. this happens almost every time i try to fill it. fun!

when you fill the pen, you may think you did something wrong, because the full converter looks like... this.

there's a whole lot of ink in the grip section, but you can't see that. all you can see is the giant gap of dead air in the converter, which is discouraging. no other converter or piston fill pen i have does this, but this is considered normal for fpr converters. this feels like a nitpick, but all of these little weird experiences add up over time to make these pens feel like they were made by aliens.

everything in these pens is made by fpr themselves, which is really cool! their ebonite (not plastic, perfect for the essentially REQUIRED heatsetting step) feeds are very chunky and can handle feeding any ink-hungry nibs (like the ultraflex, for example) just fine.

their nibs are... fine? i have several of their nibs, and their standard grind lineup (xtra fine to bold) is quite uninteresting. i decided on the two-tone architect nib for my pink himalaya. in short: architect grinds give you thin up and down strokes, thick side to side strokes. great for arabic calligraphy! or drawing, which is what i use these for.

the ultraflex nib is... a can of worms. i didn't prepare any photos for discussion of this which i'm kicking myself about. flex nibs let you put down thicker lines the more you press down, which is very valuable for calligraphy and is a desirable trait for FPs. the more flex the better. the ultraflex is VERY flexy, but uses a lot of ink very quickly, is difficult to heat set properly, is prone to leaking, and is picky with how you use it lest it stop working. it's a very specific nib with a lot of downsides, and those downsides just make it more troublesome than it's worth for me.

the pen i have the ultraflex nib in hasn't been inked in a few months. let me show you some pictures nonetheless.

do you see those pink, yellow, or oddly dark patches in what is supposed to be pearly white sections of the finish? that's staining. the taj mahal finish is VERY prone to staining and it gets ugly quickly. these stains do not come out with washing.

the grip section on these pens is STINKY. if you've ever owned a pen made of "plant-based" plastic or resin, you know the exact stench i'm talking about. i have a pretty bad sense of smell, but the smell is even a bit disruptive to me. i can't imagine how it would be for someone with a sensitive nose. it smells like half-rotten compost, and will make your fingers smell much the same. again, the smell isn't a dealbreaker for me, but it's just another one of those details that makes the whole thing weird.

here's some more pictures of the pen body:

the body itself is actually perfectly nice! it has a nice middling weight which is balanced nicely throughout the pen even when posted. this is actually one of the pens i feel most comfortable writing with while the cap is posted - it's secure up there and doesn't add extra weight!

there are, of course, things to like about this pen. FPR's pens are very customization friendly. just yank out the nib and feed, pop a new combo in there, heat set it, done! they're super fun to tinker with and are a great excuse to break out all your fancy fp hobby supplies, lol. you know how some people love having project cars? this is a bit of a project pen. fun to use, and when it inevitably has some kind of problem you get to tinker with it.

FPR pens are first and foremost FOR. HOBBYISTS. these aren't pens that are beginner or even intermediate friendly, and that's their biggest drawback. they feel like they're built for tinkering rather than writing, and the quirks of a fully built in-house pen add up to create something that is, on the whole, odd.

again, FPR is a small business. my only experiences with them have been with these pens and the free muft they package in (which you should opt out of if you purchase from them, as like all things from fpr, they have poor quality control), so their other pens may be far more reliable.

the guy who does customer service is nothing but friendly and helpful. i just wish it wasn't practically a requirement to get a pen that you can write with.

all of this ends with me not inking these pens for fear they will leak and i'll have to do some kind of annoying maintenance on them i didn't plan on doing. they take up room on my pen desk, uninked and a little smelly, and they don't do much for me. they fill a niche, but i'm not sure if i am their niche.

[da12thkind]

Tumblr and The Old Internet Re-Awakens, An Opinion Essay

This is going to be a super long post about my thoughts on the current state of the internet, with a chunk of what I'm about to say having been stuff I've already said elsewhere on other sites. To save your dash, I'll be putting a READ MORE break.

The fact that Twitter and Reddit have basically been destroyed by their own hubris is both hilarious and sad. It's funny because "ha ha rich man's hubris" but also sad because this is very emblematic of the current direction many social media companies that have been at the top for too long are going.

Ever since the muskrat purchased Twitter, it was clear from the beginning that something seriously wrong had happened, with worse decisions to follow. Something I hadn't realized was just how extensive the ripple effects of this would be. Reddit is now being destroyed by their leader's desire for more and more money, as if they needed any more.

I've been having this conversation with my friends via Discord and with strangers on the Starmen dot net forums. The writing is on the walls. The internet is moving towards a future that caters to advertisers more than its users. If there's even the slightest hint of getting more money by screwing over users, the higher ups of a given site will be chomping at the bit.

Where does that leave us?

Well, with Reddit and Twitter both now in a state of complete and total self-destruction, albeit rather slowly, we have seen an influx of new and returning users. Fantastic! I love when an old place gets new life breathed into it.

That being said, I don't believe that Tumblr is the bastion of The Old Internet, far from it, and many of you would agree.

Instead, I think that the resurgence in Tumblr's popularity could be just the first step towards the return of The Old Internet. We have the power to go back to the days of making our own websites. Information on web design and web programming are available online for free, in addition to many places offering free hosting services for a basic website or blog that don't need many bells or whistles (just don't go to GoDaddy).

Tumblr, in my opinion, once you know how to use the advanced editing tools, can make for a great "Baby's First Web Blog." There are some users on here that have made GORGEOUS blogs that will absolutely blow you away.

What about peer-to-peer communications?

We've seen that Discord has been another victim to the plague that is internet gentrification. They've removed the discriminators for usernames, had a store put in, and so many other little changes that have consistently annoyed the end users.

That being said... Discord is not going to be falling apart anytime soon. It's still a fantastic way to connect with many people at once and have quick access to all your different communities.

However, you could make the case, and I certainly try to, that internet forums fulfill the same thing. It is true that forums for many topics have drifted into the void of internet history, but is that not simply the nature of the internet? Communities sprout up, thrive, have an internal way, break apart, and start anew. We've seen that with many Discord servers, albeit rather small ones.

I will still hold my ground that forums should be revitalized if we truly want to go back to the days of old.

What does the future hold?

I... don't know. Despite my vast horde of opinions, research, and second-hand accounts of what The Old Internet was like and how The Current Internet is becoming, I cannot say for absolute certainty that we will see a total collapse of these tech empires. At the very least, however, I do believe that they will become hollowed shells of their former selves.

I have yet to talk about YouTube and its history, and, to be quite frank with you all, I simply must avoid that topic for now. All I will say is that I implore my fellow content creators, specifically those that create Video On-Demand content for YouTube and TikTok, to look into creating your own websites to host your content in the event that something happens to these empires, too. If you don't have offline copies of your videos, do so when you can.

That will be it for now. Thank you for reading this essay. I love your faces. Stay safe.

[justarandombrit]

Well. Here you go, I guess. (To avoid the massive amount of preamble skip to "The return of lines from Spies Are Forever...")

Spies Are Forever is a 2016 spy-parody musical set in 1960s America. It's by the Tin Can Bros and is all professionally recorded on YouTube for free, so I recommend watching it before reading this, as I will be talking about the penultimate in-character song from this musical, which, despite being a parody, is very much also a serious spy story, with a lot of twists and turns.

It is probably my favourite musical of all time, so I'll give you an hour or so to watch it.

…

Back? Has your brain chemistry been fundamentally changed? Yeah, that happens.

Anyway, just in case you decided that you didn't care about spoilers, I'll give you a quick overview of the plot you need for this essay.

Agent Curt Mega has been retired from spying for four years, since his partner (Owen Carvour)’s death due to a mistake Curt made. He decides to get back into the field to fight the enigmatic Deadliest Man Alive and ridiculous Baron Von Nazi, and stop the construction of the “Nazi Super Castle”. Along the way, he works with Cynthia Houston, head of the American Secret Service, Barb Larvernor, scientist, Tatiana Slohzo, Russian spy and the Informant, informant.

Despite being a comedy first and foremost, a lot of the musical hinges on the villain’s plot, and that is important in this overview.

We are led to believe that Von Nazi is the “brains” behind the operation, so to speak (despite him having none himself), up until a confrontation where, after killing the prince of The New Democratic Republics of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia and convincing the country's government to sign off on the plans for the Super Castle, the DMA literally and figuratively stabs Von Nazi in the back.

This, like many of the DMA's actions throughout the show, seems completely unmotivated. The main characters question this, and, in a suspenseful, absolutely devastating moment that I cannot do justice through the medium of writing, the DMA is revealed to be Owen.

I could write pages and pages about this moment, about the foreshadowing leading up to it, about Curt's reaction, Tatiana's reaction, Joe Walker and (actor) Curt Mega’s acting, how it's Joey Richter (Owen’s actor) who says the line “Personal history does have its benefits, Mega”, that line itself! This scene keeps me up at night, but this essay isn't about that.

This essay is about the song directly following this scene.

As Owen predicts in his speech, Curt goes after him instead of the information warehouses created by Owen’s agency, Chimera. This song serves as a villain song for Owen, no longer disguised as the Deadliest Man Alive, and also a duet for Owen and Curt.

Although up until now I have been explaining the plot in order, a good chunk of this analysis requires the context of retrospect. So, again I implore you to watch it. It's only 8 minutes long and would really make my job easier. Act Two, Part Six.

https://youtu.be/yMBi9hp2QVQ?si=IUz42a_1DTMi4eNS

So. Curt and Owen were lovers. Even though that moment (along with Curt shooting Owen) had been spoiled for me before watching, I still gasped at that scene. Anyway, with the added context of what sort of “partners” they were, we can now move into the analysis.

I'm no music theorist, as evidenced by most of this essay being about the depth of the lyrics, not the music, but, as YouTube user ConsiderableColors pointed out in their video-essay “Motifs Of Remembrance In Spies Are Forever”, One Step Ahead does not have a single use of the common leitmotifs throughout the rest of the show, symbolising how Curt has moved on from mourning and feeling guilt over Owen, and accepted what he has to do.

(Sidenote; that video is incredibly good, and I'll be linking it at the end along with another SAF video-essay I love)

The return of lines from Spies Are Forever (song), specifically, “Who do you trust, who do you betray?”, really highlights TalkFine’s amazing lyric writing, recontextualising lines from the opening song, which clearly parodies the famously nonsensical Bond songs, because, as we all know:

Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way...

I hope somebody got that reference.

Anyway, one important aspect in the structure of One Step Ahead is, for the most part, Owen always sings his lines before Curt, reflecting how he is, a, literally ahead of Curt, as he is being chased throughout most of the song, and, b, was figuratively ahead of Curt for most of the show, knowing and predicting his every move.

Owen sings “One step ahead, that's how it's always been”, to make out that Curt is incompetent, as we see him do multiple times in the previous scene. Of course, at this point, the audience should realise that this is untrue, but it makes complete sense why Owen, the man who almost died because of a mistake Curt made, should think this.

In the next verse, Owen continues with the much softer, although arguably more hurtful to Curt, “One step ahead, I'm sorry my old friend / But I'm still here / After all those years when you thought I was dead / I was one step ahead”

When listening to the song for the first time, “old friend” may sound like a bittersweet term of endearment, but with the context of the true nature of Owen and Curt’s relationship, this can be read more as an insult, as Owen disregarding their relationship, and pretending nothing ever happened between them.

Curt, still reprising lines from Spies Are Forever, next sings “It's time to save the world again”, making no mention of beating Owen or “overthrow(ing) (...) an evil power” like the ensemble sings at the start of the song, because at this point, Curt still has hope for Owen. He still believes he can get Owen to leave Chimera and he can get the Owen he knew in the opening song back.

Owen quickly shoots down this idea with “Typical Curt / And pretend to be a hero again”, which both takes a shot at Curt’s saviour complex, but also all of the duo’s previous beliefs, which we know Owen now believes were not really the right thing to do. Thus, this line could also be read as Owen showing his disdain for both A.S.S and MI6, and, by proxy, who he used to be, and who Curt still is.

Curt retaliates, now giving up on reprising SAF and instead following the tune Owen sang, with “Typical jerk!”, showing that he's now somewhat accepted that he won't be able to easily get Owen back, and has fully joined in on the fight. (Also I don't know how to include this but, after this line in the live version of the song Joey (Owen) says “Ooh, sick burn” in the most sarcastic way you've ever heard and it's amazing)

He then asks “What happened to the man I knew?”, implying that he's realised that Owen is no longer “The man [he] knew”

Owen gives a snarky response in, “It's a little late for an interview”, further showing his hatred of the man he used to be, and refusing to defend himself and his beliefs, despite going on to do exactly that after this song.

“Feelin’ a lot of déjà vu again” This line is sung one inch away from each other’s faces… I'm just saying, they knew what they were doing.

We can see that all of the quipping in the previous lines got to Curt, as he sounds much angrier than at the start when he sings “It's time for you to feel the heat”

Of course, Owen retorts with the much calmer “Revenge is going to taste so sweet”, once again reminding Curt, and us, the viewers, of his motivation throughout this song. In this song, Owen doesn't attempt to hide or downplay how much his trauma from Curt leaving him to die, or his desire to get revenge influenced his actions, unlike later, in The Staircase Scene, where he seems to genuinely believe he is acting for the good of spies, and humanity as a whole.

In fact, pretty much the only time revenge seems to play a factor in his choices when he's monologuing in The Staircase Scene, is when he says “I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in”. This, along with how his voice breaks when he says that line, tells us that he may be being more honest about his true motivation during this song, and lying, to an extent, about it afterwards.

They both proceed to call each other platonic, and slightly condescending nicknames (e.g. pal, buddy), both to try and undermine each other, and also possibly because they're still rightfully cautious to admit that they were anything more than that, in a society that demonised and criminalised homosexuality, especially for government workers, like secret agents.

Afterwards, Curt tries to retroactively justify Owen’s betrayal to himself, as we see in “You played me from the start”. He tries to convince himself that the betrayal was inevitable, and that Owen had been lying since they met, unable to accept that Owen really had changed because of Curt’s own actions.

“Well look at you / Without a clue” Owen quickly refutes this, unwilling to let Curt believe he is completely innocent, by reinforcing that he really did love Curt once.

Instead of doubling down, Curt goes with what Owen said, attempting to appeal to his emotion with “You know you broke my heart”.

“Don't deny I was the better spy” This line breaks me. Genuinely, I've spent hours thinking about this line. Think about the implications. PROMISE ME YOU'LL THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS.

See, the reason I love this line so much is that Owen is right. Objectively speaking, Owen is the better spy. And not in the way that Cynthia thinks, and not in the way he implies throughout the show. Curt is not incompetent by any means, but he is reckless. Owen is not.

The only reason Owen even survived at the start of the musical was because he took the proper safety precautions to limit the blast of the (completely unneeded) bomb Curt set the timer purposefully too short for. It makes complete sense why Owen would think he's better at spying, however I don't believe that he does. Maybe to an extent. But not fully.

“Don't deny” shows he really wants validation via this statement. He wants Curt to admit that he's better. That what happened was Curt’s fault. Maybe Owen does believe he's the better spy, maybe he doesn't, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Curt believes he is.

(I had a lot more to say about that line than I thought…)

Instead of succumbing to Owen’s demand, Curt retorts, “I liked you better when you were dead”, which seems harsh, but utterly understandable. Owen’s betrayal hurt Curt so deeply, so intensely, that he preferred the years spent in mourning for his lover, quitting his job and drinking so much he hallucinated Owen’s ghost, because at least that Owen was the one he knew. The Owen that died a hero, rather than the one who lived long enough to become the monster.

Please forgive that cliché, but it seemed applicable.

After this, Owen reiterates “One step ahead / It's how it's always been”, but this time, Curt responds directly to Owen, with, “Can't let you win”. He's now outright saying that he and Owen are on opposite sides, rather than speaking vaguely about “saving the world”.

Owen, while still angry, again seems to be more interested in reminding Curt of his mistake and making him suffer emotionally. The “I'm still here” has an unspoken “Even though you weren't”.

Then, after Curt’s line, he goes back to the superiority idea, “And I'm better than you again”.

Interestingly, Curt doesn't attempt to appeal to Owen’s emotions again, or even insult him, instead just responding, “This is the end”. Either, at this point he has fully given up on reasoning with Owen, or, the earlier “You know you broke my heart” was a mistake, an accidental show of vulnerability Curt didn't mean.

My personal interpretation was that the line was a last-ditch effort from Curt, a sort of hail Mary to try and get Owen to see sense by alluding to their relationship. We see him do this later on in The Staircase Scene, by outright stating it, and it almost works. Almost.

Owen's line, “No one's innocent” shows a lot about his character. Even though he's trying to shift blame onto Curt, he still acknowledges wrong-doing. After all, he can't pin the over 1,000 people he killed as the Deadliest Man Alive on Curt, that was all him.

“My friend, you lost your mind” Here, Curt does the exact opposite of what he was doing before. Instead of making it out that Owen never loved him in the first place, e.g. “You played me from the start”, he disregards the reasons Owen joined Chimera, blaming it on Owen “going insane” or “losing his mind”.

As we've now come to expect, Owen immediately shuts this down, determined to make Curt feel the full gravity of what Owen sees as his original betrayal. When he says, “And you've been blind”, Owen is talking about how, in his opinion, Curt is blind to all the pain he caused, which we know is actually untrue, and we also know that Owen knows this, see “I spent as much time hating you as you did”. This, like so much in this song, is a way to guilt trip Curt, despite being an obvious lie.

This line could also be interpreted as Curt being blind to Chimera, and being so enamoured by spying and taking down governments that he is forgetting to notice (what Owen thinks is) the bigger picture.

“Now we're at the end” is pretty self-explanatory. This is the climax of the show, the point all of this has been leading up to.

The line “This is what you made me do” is sung by both Curt and Owen and has different connotations for each. Owen is once again referring to Curt abandoning him in the warehouse, causing him to join Chimera. Curt is talking about the fight itself, as he's tried to reason with Owen, but, after all of this, he's now at the end of his tether.

In the lines

“We're done”

“We're through!”

Owen sings first, symbolising how he moved on faster (well, visually, but I stick by the “Owen still had feelings for Curt until his real death” headcanon - I mean, he could've shot Curt at basically any point throughout The Staircase Scene, he chose not to). But Curt shouts louder, showing his anger about how Owen has acted after “coming back from the dead”. Also, this is their official breakup. Just think about that for a second.

These lines could also link back to the fact that this is the climax of the show, the writers are sort of telling you “This is it guys, we’re almost finished”.

The finality of the moment is emphasised by “I've nothing left to say to you”. They've both made their cases, neither was convinced, but they've said all that was needed.

After this, there's a direct homage to The Sound of Music,

“So long

Farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Adieu

Goodbye”

…only in a minor key, taking the music from a romance and altering it slightly, depicting Curt and Owen’s own relationship. Furthermore, this is the goodbye hinted to in both Spies Are Forever and The Coldest Goodbye. This is the coldest goodbye. Why did I reread that in Eleanor Shellstrop’s voice

In conclusion, One Step Ahead is a song about truth, betrayal, tragedy and love. Curtwen is one of my top ten ships (and just character dynamics in general) of all time, and I hope this essay did them justice. Hopefully I didn't repeat myself too much? I love this song, show and characters so much that I got incredibly overexcited for massive parts of this.

I hope you at least got something out of reading this, and so one last toast. To honour-

Links:

ConsiderableColors’ essay: https://youtu.be/cS05pAQAFaY?si=16BHM3eU-gEUkxXE

Spies Are Forever: Decoded:

https://youtu.be/OYAbmbKoaqc?si=9EpZ1wYr_SMBPCP0

Ooh! New one!

How Spies Are Forever Defies Cliché With Parody

https://youtu.be/QhIwDhZKPvM?si=h6IFpKoFCHR0T-iK

(I can't believe this is also about Argylle lmaoooo)

[eibongrey]

Please talk to me about Joel and Tess I’ve been thinking about them all weekend

I don't even know if I have any coherent thoughts about them it's all just a wriggling mass of worms in here, screaming about their dynamic. (Update from after writing out the rest of this deranged essay: I did not mean for this to get so long and go off on so many tangents. I am insane. Thank you.)

I'm utterly obsessed with the way Tess is the one who calls the shots - just reblogged a post the other day about how Joel looks to her for decision-making, which mixed nicely in my brain with that quote from the podcast about Joel being "a little bit of a Frankenstein monster" that Tess is leading. This fermented in my brain with Joel's consistent characterization as someone who can't live for himself, only for someone else. As joking as it is, people are absolutely on the nose with the "acts of service being Joel's love language" posts. He doesn't know how to be a person unless he's orbiting another. (This also neatly parallels Ellie's greatest fear of ending up alone, but that's a whooooole nother essay.)

For a long time, Sarah was the axis around which he orbited, and that is why losing her led to a near suicide. Tommy managed to shift Joel's orbit around himself, to save his brother, which led to "all the things we did - the things you judge me for" from episode 6. This next bit is speculation, but I think it's fairly well supported by evidence from canon. I think that Tommy wasn't able to properly handle how Joel's trauma changed him, not okay with the level of violence Joel was willing to reach to keep Tommy safe, but utterly unable to lose the only family he had left.

(Continuing this Tommy tangent, sorry): he absolutely feels some level of responsibility for how fucked up Joel is now. If he had arrived just a little sooner, he could have saved Sarah, and Joel wouldn't be the way he is. Every time Joel does something morally reprehensible for Tommy's sake, Tommy thinks this is my fault. At least at first. They met Tess later, so there was no one else for Joel to orbit, so Tommy was the only option. And he was definitely there during and in the wake of Joel's suicide attempt, so he knows Joel cannot be alone. But the way they're surviving is fucking with him.

It's not until later, when Joel and Tess have become close enough for her to be Joel's new Person that Tommy can leave, which he does, of course he does, because seeing what's become of his brother makes him sick with guilt and anger. He couldn't leave until he knew for sure Joel had a Person to keep living for, but once that's a sure thing, he leaves. (There's another whole essay in here about Joel and Tommy being foils, where Joel must be devoted to a single person and Tommy must be devoted to some greater cause, but I've digressed enough. You came here for Joel and Tess. Sorry. I swear these thoughts are all related.) Back to Joel. Everything about him screams "experienced parentification as a child" and I know I'm still in speculation land but come on. He's several years older than Tommy and he became a father at a young age, and it's implied that he was a single father from pretty early on in Sarah's life (moreso in the game, but there's no indication they changed that for the show). Joel and Tommy's parents are never so much as mentioned.

Adults who were parentified as children have a hard time expressing and meeting their own needs, particularly emotionally, and have a hard time turning off their "caregiver" mode. Just for fun, I ran a quick search about parentification to refresh my memory, and I'd like to share a few sentences that made me insane: "A parentified child does not learn to distinguish their own needs and feelings from those of other people." Here's another: "In certain cases, some degree of parentification may have positive effects, such as building resilience and competency."

Who does that sound like? Joel "you were never gonna do it for yourself" Miller, that's fucking who. (For added derangement, rewatch the breakfast scene in episode 1, starting around 6:50 when Tommy comes through the door. "Awww, he loves you." "He's dependent on me. It's not the same." But I digress. Again.) ANYWAY: Enter Tess. Tess is fucking smart and ruthless about survival, Tess shares Joel's deep trauma of losing a child, and Tess doesn't have Tommy's angst about how Joel has changed from Before. She's exactly someone whose psychological profile can mesh well with post-Outbreak Joel's. She's resourceful and great at social engineering, and she quickly picks up on how Joel's mind operates. As the audience, we never get to actually see or hear how they met and grew close, but given how they are as people, I think it's likely that Tess initially saw Joel as a resource to use, then figured out more about him, and grew to actually give a shit - until she ended up giving a lot of shits. Too many, maybe.

She definitely knows she has power in their dynamic, that she can make the decisions and Joel will follow her lead, that Joel cares about her. The scene in their apartment kitchen where he sees her swollen eye and she already knows he's going to react the way he does, has her first sentence prepared so he'll sit back down. The casual way she allows him to tilt her head and pat at her face with the cloth? She knows his need to caretake, and she allows him a few moments to meet it, and then she gently redirects him and breaks the bad news about the battery to him.

She handles him emotionally like a fucking master pianist at the keys. (Follow along at about 53:25 in episode 1 if this next bit makes no fucking sense.) She starts gentle, reassuring, telling him "nothing's lost" after dropping the fact that Robert sold the battery. She matches Joel's energy when he stands, upset, saying "okay, fuck it, we get our money back and the battery" so he doesn't feel like she's being condescending or too calm about something that's a big deal to him. She approaches, makes physical contact with her hand to get him to meet her eyes, and lays out the logic - the goal is not out of reach, but will be unless Joel listens to her. And then she says "I need you to take a breath" and there's a quiet moment where you can see her exaggerating a breath for Joel to follow. (I think this is where I became unrecoverable, by the way, if it wasn't already back where Joel rolls over at her hand on his back to be her little spoon.) Notice the energy level in the room after that breath? They both continue speaking in lower, calmer voices. Even when Joel says "Well who'd he sell it to?" his tone is irritated without being loud and abrasive.

And then my favorite thing ever. "Now I promised Robert you wouldn't hurt him. But I would very much like for you to hurt him." Because Tess knows that she is Joel's Person, and what things Joel will do for his Person. She knows because she saw it back when it was Tommy. And Tess has no problem weaponizing Joel, unlike Tommy, who'd been driven away by that very thing.

The saddest part, to me personally, is that while Tess was able to understand that she was Joel's Person, she didn't let herself believe that meant love. Not the way she wanted it to. She figured that he had to revolve around someone, psychologically, but that didn't mean he had to love them. And Joel couldn't ever say it to her, because he loses everyone he loves. It's even more obvious with Ellie, later, when he so clearly loves her as a daughter and just cannot say it in such plain words. He loved Sarah, and she died in his arms, and he loved Tommy, and Tommy left him behind. So there's no way Joel was ever going to be able to be clear with Tess that he loved her, even though he so clearly did. Especially since Tess died before Ellie's presence in Joel's life started to heal the wound - "it wasn't time that did it."

God. I have no idea if any of this makes sense, I just had a million thoughts and feelings and went off on several tangents, but I've finally run somewhat out of steam and I did, in fact, talk about Joel and Tess like you asked. So I'm gonna call it a success.

Anyway, how was your weekend?

[187days]

Day Thirty-Four

So it's the day after a long weekend, and it was slightly chaotic.

First off, phone and wifi service throughout town were on the fritz because of... something (The Principal tried to explain it, but he lost me). That meant, among other things, that none of our sub coordinator's calls for subs went through, so she was scrambling to find coverage (teachers can get paid to cover during their prep, which helps, but they can't be forced to do it). One of the teachers who was out was Mr. X, so I was trying to print copies of the worksheets he'd assigned, but the connection between my computer and the photocopier in the staff room wasn't working (I printed a copy to my classroom printer, which was working despite also being wireless, then went and ran off the copies). Then I had to make my own photocopies, too, and I was rushing to get it done before the fire alarm went off because I knew we were having a drill this morning.

Somehow, I actually pulled it off.

Then the drill happened (it was cold outside, but there was a cool moment when a bald eagle flew over the field while we were out there), and then it was time for flex block. Now, the one thing I hadn't gotten done was putting my tables back in rows (they'd been in a circle on Friday because we'd had a guest in APGOV). So I tried to do it quickly during the bell change, but students kept coming in to ask me to do stuff (like check their schedules to see where they were supposed to go for flex). Some of them looked shocked when I said I was busy and couldn't do it, so during Global Studies I took a couple minutes to show them all how to do it themselves. That's something they should know how to do, but it was quick enough to show them again, so I didn't mind.

After that, we started a new unit: religion and philosophy. I taught the vocab, fielded myriad questions (some easy to answer, some theologically challenging), and then had students read an article about the five major religions. It's a pretty basic first lesson, but it went well in all three sections. My APGOV lesson, which was much more difficult, also went well. Students did some MCQ practice and then I started teaching them how to write FRQs. On the APGOV test there are four: content analysis, qualitative analysis, SCOTUS comparison, argument essay. We focused on the first three for now; we did an example of each type together, then I assigned them a set to try on their own. We'll go over their answers next class.

[theremina]

Extending heartfelt apologies to anyone who happened to see my reposts of Clementine Morrigan's writings over the past few days.

As a messy, traumatized Harpy committed to honoring all peoples' baseline humanity regardless of what they've done --as well as someone whose lifelong CPTSD is sssllloooowwwllllyyy healing as I embrace personal accountability, avoid B&W thinking, and extend grace and compassion to myself and others-- I was taken in by a lot of what Morrigan says about encouraging non-punitive modalities. I reposted her words without learning how she herself is actively complicit in perpetuating ongoing harm to others in leftist and liberal spheres, especially as the popularity of her podcast FUCKING CANCELLED grows.

In retrospect, I see that I was moved by Morrigan's writings primarily because they're a clever, zinger-filled repackaging of more genuine and nuanced essays penned by others. Namely, by queer Black folks and other more sophisticated and culturally rooted voices.

When I posted Morrigan's stuff, I had no idea about her partner Jay Manicom's forceful silencing of several BIPOC peers and partners they'd allegedly abused and made no amends to. I didn't realize that Morrigan was publicly weaponizing abolitionist and twelve-step language in order to defend Manicom's alleged ongoing violence and harm. Said harm includes sending legal threats to several survivors, femme PoC, after they'd repeatedly asked him to join them in a circle to hash things out. When these folks spoke out about their experiences, both Manicom and Morrigan were quick to frighten, shame, and silence them. (Even while simultaneously decrying similar acts perpetrated against credibly alleged serial perpetrators! Try to make it make sense!)

Comparing "cancel culture" to the carceral state by using appropriated language and concepts that Black and Indigenous activists have been cultivating and nurturing for centuries is not an approach I want to lend any credibility to. It's DARVO. White femme DARVO. That's messed up.

When a popular, charismatic young white woman, a self-described "powerhouse" and "controversial public figure", goes so far as to compare survivors' requests for basic accountability and community-wide responsibility to "acting like a cop", there's some straight-up pastel Q-Anon dog whistle "Guru Jagat" horseshit goin' down.

Recently, I observed Morrigan on a panel with several other speakers, all healers from various lineages whom I admire and trust. I enjoyed their talks a lot. But in spite of my initial enthusiasm for Morrigan's breezy social media writings, as soon as she launched into her very polished, practiced lip service to radical compassion and acceptance, red flags started popping up for me. BIG Russell Brand energy. (And most of you already know how I feel about THAT righteous broheim. I've been roasting him years.)

Observing Morrigan's onscreen presentation, my curiosity died almost instantly. I won't say I was shocked by her performativity. I did experience rolling waves of nausea. Whether it's a fair assessment or not, I parsed her almost instantly as yet another cult-of-personality cultivator who is using hierarchical tactics to center the comfort and safety of active, unapologetic abusers ahead of everyone else. Not okay. She may have the best intentions in the world, but NO THANK YOU.

Morrigan's particular approach to justice is not what I'm about. If it were, I'd still be hanging out with a whole lot of sketchy af people I met in various green rooms over the years and making a whole lot more money while we all dance together around similar cognitive dissonance in our professional lives as celebrities, pundits, and "righteous" preachers. Again, no thank you.

I wanted to fast-forward through Morrigan's portion of the presentation, but gritted my teeth through it out of respect for the panel's curator. The wild thing is, on paper, I agree with *so much of what she says*! Still, something felt very, very off. So I went and read up further, and finally understood why my heart was sinking, my stomach, churning.

I wholeheartedly respect that the healers who invited Morrigan onto this panel have a different, more generous perception of her. I'm not making this post to demonize or dehumanize Morrigan, her partner, her friends, her listenership, or anyone else who leans into ye olde "hurt people hurt people" tenets in order to make sense of various horrors committed by them or to them.

However, the FUCKING CANCELLED fan club is most assuredly not something I want to give my time, energy, or trust to any more than I would Amanda Palmer's, or Rosie O'Donnell's, or Rose McGowan's, or Lena Dunham's, or Asia Argento's, etc.

My casual shares of Morrigan's work were a mistake. Consider this post a personal retraction. If there are further reparations I should consider, please let me know. Especially if you're a transformative justice buddy who has been quietly observing my promotions of her and feelin' barfy because of it!

Please, please know that I wouldn't have boosted her bandwidth so blithely, had I dug a bit deeper. I hope no one was too hurt or freaked out by my ignorant shares.

My apologies and my love. In solidarity. May all beings be free from suffering. Ashe.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

moonlit company (miorine rembran x reader)

tags: gn!reader

a/n: i always thought my first gundam fic would be about duo because he was my first gundam love but here i am. duo, my beloved, it’ll be your turn eventually.

It was guilt that led to you being Aliyah’s plus one tonight. Her parents were entrusting her to lead. It was bad luck this was the week the rest of your mutual friends were busy. 

Nika was busy helping Martin organize his notes for their shared civil engineering class. Ojelo and Nuko were out of town. Lilique, popular as ever, was on a date with someone who really seemed to be the one according to Aliyah’s most recent reading for her. And Chuchu? Everyone in your group of friends knew that she would rather bite off her tongue than subject herself to being around the wealthy for any amount of time.

Aliyah only gets the pass because her family started from the bottom and clawed their way to higher status. It also helps that you all grew up together, your friend group solidifying your first and second years of high school.

When Aliyah inevitably made her way to asking if you could be her plus one so she wouldn’t entirely be alone at this event, you felt too bad to tell her no. It would be quick, she promised.

I’d literally rather be anywhere else, you groaned quietly into your champagne. Your original Saturday plans had included ignoring your essay you planned to write the morning it was due in favor of watching the newest season of Summertime. But when you saw her, you were glad you took up the offer to tag along 

The woman is gorgeous, dressed in an off the shoulder evening blue dress with matching heels and beautiful pale silver hair pulled back into a bun. Her silver eyes are sharp and she is standing alone, a look of displeasure all over her face.

It’s then that you remember the reading Aliyah gave you a few days ago. “Once you start getting out of the house more, an opportunity for love will rise in an unexpected place,” Aliyah said as she observed the results of her reading. “But I’m seeing it could go either way, this person is a bit hard to get a read on. If it works out, though, things look like they’ll be really good.

If Chuchu had come, you know what she would be telling you in this instant. Something fervently along the lines of ‘eat the rich’, ‘class traitor’ and ‘you aren’t even going to ever see this girl again’. In this moment, you can’t find yourself caring.

She’s beautiful and you want to talk to her, even if she looks like she might try to kill you if you do. Maybe she just has resting bitch face. Or maybe she just wants to be alone. I’ll never find out staying over here though.

Your personal motto in life is simpleー rejection is better than regret. That’s what spurs you to walk from the table you plastered yourself to most of the evening to the one this girl is standing by. “Not a fan of these kinds of events?” You aren’t too surprised when you receive a look of suspicion. From this angle, she almost looks like Weiss Schnee, minus the dope scar.

“I’m not a fan of cesspools where everyone gathers just to brag about their shares and talk about outdated business plans,” Not-Weiss-Schee replies tersely. Yeah, she’s definitely been to one too many of these parties. “And what company are you from?” Despite the question, you can tell that she couldn’t care less about whatever business you’re associated with.

“I’m associated with the Best Friend Company,” there’s no look of recognition in her eyes and you are relieved there really isn’t a Best Friend Company either of you know of. ‘It’s the service where your friend begs you to tag along so they don’t have to be alone and you ditch your plans to stay home and watch Netflix all night. But she’s off talking with someone right now so I’m just sitting back and letting her have fun”

Her guard doesn’t lower but she huffs silently, “so you only sought me out to ease your boredom?”

“Oh no, I love this kind of stuff,” you grin, holding your drink lazily. “Just call me the modern day Lady Whistledown.” You gesture to the rest of the members of the event you’re attending, settling your sights on a woman at random. “See that lady over there? You’re looking at Kiona Brown. She owns a world-famous boutique in Milan but I’m pretty sure no one knows it is actually the base for her underground boxing ring.”

The white-haired woman raises an eyebrow and you aren’t sure if she is simply unimpressed or finds you stupid. “That’s Rasheeda Washington and she owns the largest black-owned software company in the state.”

Wow, I wasn’t even close with that name.

“But the stuff I just made up is still a lot more amusing than truth, right?” You down the rest of your glass with a smile, taking it in stride. At least she didn’t outright tell you to get lost, that’s better than nothing. “So she isn’t from Milan and she isn’t in fashion, but you have to admit that you would have found her a lot more interesting if it turned out she was hosting some type of Fight Club thing no one knew about.” 

You thumb in the direction of some brown-skinned man with long blond hair. “Like that guy. Is he actually some old money douche who thinks he worked hard for what he has? Or is he actually a vampire who decided to go on a world-wide wine tasting tour and is posing as some old money douche because it adds to the experience?”

She tries fighting against it but despite her best efforts, Not-Weiss-Schnee’s lips quirk into a small but visible smile. “I read a book once where the protagonist and his love interest would ride on the bus for hours making up stories about the passengers,” you recall the smell of the pages and the book’s poetic prose. You were so enamored that you eventually began trying it out yourself, making up stories of those who crossed your path and you knew you would never encounter again. “It’s pretty much my secret weapon to surviving parties.”

You nod in the direction a tall gentleman in a suit. He’s handsome with his black and pink hair and a beauty mark under his right eye. “Take that guy for instance,” you begin. “I’ve been calling him Faizan Abdul. He invests in mechanical engineering projects and he is definitely a jock. Probably basketball. But deep down he wants nothing more than to be a househusband of his working woman wife. I mean the cute apron and watching Real Housewives kind of vibe.”

She opens her mouth to protest before she closes it, surprised. “That’s,” she looks at the man who is now talking to a warm-faced woman with red hair and the cutest eyebrows you’ve ever seen. She reminded you of the last puppy of a litter waiting to be adopted, complete with a heart of gold. “a surprisingly accurate description of Guel Jeturk. But Shaddiq Zenelli isn’t old money or a wine-tasting vampire.”

You set your empty glass on the table beside you. “I pride myself on my having a 50/50 chance on being right 100% of the time,” you laugh and you’re pleased when you see the change in your companion’s body language. Her arms are still crossed yet her arms are loose and she is facing you completely.

“Alright,” silver eyes look at you with sharp amusement. “What’s the story you’ve picked out for me?”

“Your story?” You hum, drawling out your answer. “You’re definitely an entrepreneur. One that’s always several steps ahead of the game; that’s why you’re the type of stand in the corner at events. You wanna observe the competition,” maybe she has her basis in engineering as well. No, her foundation certainly lies in business. “And don’t get mad but I’ve been calling you Weiss Schnee for the past five minutes. At least, this is your cover story. I’m going all in that you’re secretly a spy and you’re here to snuff out the bad guys. How close did I get?”

“Pretty off about most of it,” Not-Weiss-Schnee admits, a tint of sadness in her smile. “Weiss Schnee is a lot cooler than Miorine Rembran, I wish I was like her.” There’s a story there but you respect where she finishes it. You don’t know the problems that plague Ms. Miorine Rembran, but you hope that tonight she feels at ease.

“Damn,” you clutch your chest with a faux hiss of pain. “50/50 chance it goes either way 100% of the time.” You click your tongue but you make sure your tone is light. “But whoever Miorine Rembran is, I think she’s a lot cooler than Miorine Rembran is giving her credit for.”

Maybe it’s arrogance or severely estimating your ability to cheer people up, but you think Miorine looks happier ーlighter?ー at your words. “And do I get to know your name now?”

“[First] [Last],” you introduce yourself seamlessly and with a mocking bow. “I kinda got dragged here by a friend. She didn’t want to come by herself. Her parents wanted her to meet some guy name Lauda, I’m here as her backup if the guy turns out to be a creep.” Other than his habit of fiddling with his hair, however, the guy seems decent enough. A bit stiff and overly serious but decent. “She’s over there with the dude who keeps playing with his hair. The sap must be nervous, I don’t blame him. Aliyah’s a total catch.”

“Aliyah Mahvash?”

“Oh you know her?”

Miorine shakes her head, “not personally, I just know of her family.” 

Family.

“Wait,” you say, feeling a new buzz of excitement as Miorine looks at you completely. “I think I recognize your name!” Miorine’s face seems to blanch at your words but the word vomit flows past your lips before you can stop yourself. “You don’t happen to be related to a Nortrette Rembran do you? It might be a long shot but that isn’t a common surname.”

The grimace quickly turns to wide-eyed surprise. “I,” she pauses before quickly collecting her composure. “Yes, she’s my mother.”

“That is so cool,” a wave of nostalgia passes over you. “After watching Jurassic Park I had a phase for a week where I wanted to be a botanist. I remember seeing her name a lot. I even watched a couple of her documentaries. One on the cultivation of tomatoes and another on the histories of other well-known crops.” You always wanted to taste the variety of tomatoes the world-famous botanist produced, but they were too rare. Not to mention expensive. “Never did go into botany but I have a few succulents. What about you? Are you in the field?”

Miorine pushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear, “no, but I garden in my spare time.” She is the most at ease she’s been since you approached her. “I mostly focus on growing her tomatoes but there are other plants I grow too.”

You consider this an invitation to pursue further conversation. “I’ve always wanted to try those,” everyone makes them sound like a gift from the heaven’s. “Do you focus only on growing produce or do you plant flowers too?”

And that is how you fall into a lengthy conversation about Miorine’s greenhouse. Growing her mother’s tomatoes is her pride but she grows a plethora of other thingsー heather, potted hydrangeas and other assorted flora. You’re halfway through a conversation about her attempts to keep a calathea alive with some sort of fungal fertilizer when you notice a persistent movement.

From the corner of your eye, you see Aliyah’s wave. Guess we finally capped at the length of time she’s obligated to be here. “Looks like we’re about to bounce,” you nod in your friend’s direction before turning your gaze back at Miorine. 

“Then you should get going,” Miorine sighs, glowering at as she stares in a particular direction. “It gets more boring from here. Escape while you can.”

You can’t hold back a snicker, “thanks for the warning, we’ll head out then.” Rejection’s better than regret. “But if you still want company so you don’t have to die from boredom, we can swap contact info if you want.”

Miorine practically shoves her phone, unlocked, in your hands. “I would have been really disappointed if after all that you didn’t ask for my number.”

“Maybe I just didn’t want to assume one good chat was an invite to make this more than a one time talk,” you laugh as you type your number in her phone and give yourself a quick ‘Not Weiss Schnee’. Your phone vibrates and you are more than satisfied.

“You don’t get to interrupt my misery and then make a break for it before this party gets unbearable.” Miorine looks at you you sharply, but it isn’t intimidating when her cheeks are flush pink. “I’m expecting you to hold up your end of the deal,” say continues briskly. “Keep me company.”

Who are you to abandon a woman in need of your help? You respond by immediately sending her the most recent meme that made you wheeze at 3 o’clock in the morning. “Prepare for a lot of made up BS about whoever my uber driver is. I’m calling it now that they’re actually a popular idol but they go under disguise as an uber driver in order to get some normalcy in their life.”

A chuckle, light and mellifluous, escapes Miorine’s lips, “let me know about your 50/50 chance of being right 100% of the time then.”

I’m never doubting the cards again. A thought that makes no sense when you never doubted Aliyah’s divination to begin with.

You give Aliyah an inquisitive but amused look when you both settle in the uber, “so? Is that Lauda guy nice?”

Aliyah looks reluctant when she admits, “he wasn’t as bad as I thought he would be. He’s pretty serious but he cares a lot for his family.” There is a strong ‘but I don’t want to tell my parents they were right, the guy they’re trying to set me up with is actually a decent guy.’ “But what about you? I lost track of you for a bit. Who was that you were talking to? I didn’t get a good look at her.”

You grin, grip tightening on your phone, “yeah, pretty sure I just got a date with the prettiest girl in the room.”

Your friend perks up in excitement. It shouldn’t be a surprise for either of you, Aliyah’s readings always come true. “What’s her name?”

“Miorine Rembran,” you answer offhandedly as you see you already received a message from the woman in question, demanding you to not change her contact to Weiss Schnee. You chuckle and quickly reply that she’ll have buy your compliance by agreeing to meet up soon. Dinner and a movie is too awkward and restrictive. ‘You ever been to a cooking class? Because there’s a class I’ve been wanting to take and they let you bring a plus one’ you thumb out onto your screen. “She’s the daughter of Nor-”

“Miorine Rembran.” Aliyah’s eyes look like they’re going to bulge out of her sockets. “Miorine Rembran,” she wheezes. “The only daughter of the president of the Benerit Group?!” 

Your jaw goes slack. The president of the Benerit Group. The guy Chuchu curses vehemently whenever he is on the news.

Your uber driver whips their head at the both of you when they stop at a red light. “You chatted up that Miorine Rembran?!”

[skydigiblogs]

sky and co's seeker thoughts (ch 2)

ough, okay, quick thoughts on chapter 2. will try to be brief but i'll likely elaborate on these at a later point once i finish the whole novel (which, yeah, i am still gonna force myself through even though i am disliking it; i did the same for next, and it'll keep me occupied at work lmao)

so, first thing's first: i really do not like the worldbuilding of seekers. there's a lot going on that makes me very uncomfortable. that is:

everything to do with nation x. introducing it and describing it only through its low GDP, state-sponsored terrorism, and dictator, is uh. hm. it just doesn't sit right with me to strip a nation down to strictly these things, because unfortunately even if you call it "nation x," those characteristics have real world geopolitical connotations. to put it lightly, guys that feels a bit racist of you.

following on that, uh, hey, you know what also doesn't look great? SoC is introduced as "A militant organization that is considered to be the right wing of the code cracking team." SoC is described as a terrorist group itself (and i genuinely can't tell if this is the writer trying to write it so that this is supposed to be slanderous).

and one of their top execs is also the only person of color we have in the novel. right, right, cool, um. hey. like i love marvin's characterization so far dgmr, he is an actual person, but i really hope seekers tries to do anything to counter the fact it literally described SoC as a right wing, terrorist group??

final worldbuilding note: i don't like the fact that seekers hinges on us believing that the fuckin metaverse took off enough that there's a crypto rivaling the USD. this is the only worldbuilding note i am willing to let slide, since it is, at the end of the day, in service of giving us more of a reason why digimon can affect the real world at all (since, afaik, digimon can't realize in the real world, only hololize). other series like CS and GG did it just fine without this shit but i will let it slide for now. i may not be so kind on it in the inevitable essay about the whole thing.

i fucking hate sad white boy (leon). just straight up thumbs down i hate everything about him and how he is used narratively. this is because he is described as a blonde, blue eyed man with a tragic past whose fit physique is thanks to him working out to bury that "weakness" (his trauma). he has a savior complex and is an american and god holy fucking shit i hate him.

reason why i hate sad white boy number 2: sad white boy in chapter 2 is, by the end of it, almost explicitly meant to represent an ideal of his that is in conflict with eiji. that's to say, sad white boy is "justice," and eiji is "freedom." this is practically handed to us in chapter 2-9. i am aware that takemikazuchi mode exists so i know obviously at some point these two have to make amends, but seeing how chapter 2 ended with eiji crying over sad white boy martyring himself to save him (we'll get back to THAT in a sec), implying that he would even consider relenting his idea of "freedom" for sad white boy is. hm.

reason 3: following on that last point, sad white boy is by definition privileged. seekers isn't hesitant to point this out, which i do like! what i don't like, however, is that them doing so feels hollow after sad white boy's martyring at the end of chapter 2. this is especially so thanks to the fact that it's also coming after loogarmon's dark digivolution, which, in the text, feels like the narrative trying to condemn eiji for his resentment towards leon (something which, for a kid like eiji who has lost so fucking much makes sense!).

(side note: i know in general digimon has a habit of using dark digivolution as a way of like, condemning certain emotions. i would love to unpack that in a longer essay, to be honest.)

i love eiji though. dumb little shit.

still not sure what the narrative wants me to think about the police though. by the end of it i'm probably going to have a lot of notes about it. certainly feels sour on the reading palate considering what police actually do though. yesterday i mentioned how much i hated the narrative putting a line about colonialism right next to a scene that, at least imo, felt like it was trying to paint the digipol as the good guys. like, irl, cops function as an extension of colonialism, so it just. idk.

tl;dr: savers i miss you. savers please.

(for context: i started my rewatch of savers because i wanted to see how DATS was treated in terms of portraying police. savers pleasantly surprised me considering it quite explicitly showed that the government can and will enable genocidal behavior. like, kurata wasn't a "bad apple," he was enabled by the impatience of the japanese government and a LOT OF TROOPS.)

(also savers did the privileged character clashing with the more hot-headed/loose main character thing way better than my experience is feeling at the end of chapter 2 with eiji and sad white boy.)

[mourningmoth]

thinking for literally my entire shift today about borderlands 3's writing in comparison to borderlands 2's writing, but specifically in how serious, impactful events are handled in juxtaposition with humour, and how it compliments/develops the characters involved

VERY specifically, this directly relates to how well i think each game handles major character death, and the subsequent reactions to that death. theyre old games at this point, so i dont think a spoiler warning is completely needed, but regardless, im saying rn: SPOILERSSS for both borderlands 2 and 3 ahead :)

so borderlands does this thing a lot, where the narrative presents as mostly humorous and lighthearted, with dramatic/serious events sprinkled throughout. something of a "dramedy" situation, which i feel the series usually pulls off well (usually lol). but i feel like bl3's writing dropped the ball on it in a way that seems like it's not self-aware of how/why that worked in borderlands 2 and isnt working the same in borderlands 3 all the time

the specific examples of this ive been thinking about all day are the tannis eulogy from bl3 and the sarcastic violin one-off from borderlands 2. in this essay i will quite literally prove why the one-off violin joke was written better than the entirety of borderlands 3

i find it especially striking how each of these situations compare, because even though none of the same characters involved, each moment highlights a certain quality to borderlands 2 writing that i feel they wanted to replicate in borderlands 3, that, imo, fell flat compared to 2

in bl3, after maya dies, tannis delivers an extremely awkward eulogy. and yeah, tannis is a character with weird traits. she often acts in ways that arent typical of the other characters in a social context. this is usually explained by tannis' autism, which is fine most of the time, but i feel like this particular moment was pretty badly written for tannis. her words about maya feel extremely detached and insincere, and the reactions from the rest of the characters during the "memorial service" (LOL) dont do much to help. the entire scene feels like its barely taking the death of a major important character seriously

and its especially strange when you consider that tannis has reacted to the death of a close friend before, and it didnt feel this bad and meaningless back then. theres an optional mission in bl2 where you can inform various characters of roland's death. when you talk to tannis about it, her response is appropriately socially awkward and stilted, but you can still tell she's genuinely sorrowful. it feels like she's actually upset that roland died. it feels absolutely different when she talks about maya though. tannis' eulogy for maya is written as a lighthearted disarming of the serious situation, but it really doesnt work the same way as the disarming moments in bl2 do.

i don't feel like tannis' eulogy toward maya is as sincere as what she said about roland in the previous game. it never felt equally upsetting to her; in fact theres a LOT i can personally say on the writing surrounding maya's death in bl3 but that would massively derail the point of this post specifically lol. so moving on

i kept comparing the eulogy in bl3 to the story surrounding bloodwing's death in bl2, which actually carries further into talking about the impact of angel's death, which actually brings up a quick point id like to make: im about to talk in-depth about the value of character development derived from a one-off joke, which actually carries further into the narrative of the story by contrasting the same character's behaviour later on. the shitty one-off joke can actually contribute valuable contrast to an impactful event later in the game. tannis' eulogy to maya has no such similar effect, but i hope you'll see what i mean by this once im done explaining it all

anyway. in bl2, you meet the previous 4 playable characters from bl1 as npcs. in the first game, these characters are mostly-silent protagonists. their voice lines only apply to comments made during gameplay; they dont have significant individualized dialogue (this is something borderlands DOES eventually implement in the 4th campaign dlc of bl2, and later fully integrates into bl3)

during the course of the beginning of the game, you meet mordecai, the previously playable sniper (and his hunting companion bloodwing, which is an alien bird). bl2 is the first time in the series mordecai gets to express himself as a real character instead of a player avatar. initially, mordecai comes off as very chill and laid-back. he's extremely self-assured and confident in his skills; you can tell from how he carries himself (in dialogue) that he's not particularly worried about jack, or "losing", or getting hurt.

later, in the wildlife exploitation mission, bloodwing is killed in the final boss battle, which leads into the first time in the series where we get to see mordecai express an extreme emotion. his previous confidence and nonchalant attitude is shattered instantly, and you FEEL it instantly. while the scenario necessitates you leave quickly, so you dont have time to mourn bloodwing properly, the event still has a massive impact overall. it leads into an entire arc for mordecai, which involves him developing alcohol dependence. (i could also make another whole ENTIRE post about this character arc lmao, but i wanna mention its followed up on in numerous dlc which involve mordecai's recovery and later sobriety. its GOOD listen. anyway.)

despite the fact that bloodwing dying is obviously a devastating event for mordecai (AND has continuous consequences later!!), handsome jack IMMEDIATELY clowns on it in the same exact scene, by playing a sarcastic shitty violin solo in "honour of mordecai's stupid bird". but this joke doesnt detract from the impact of bloodwing's death the way i feel tannis' eulogy detracts from the impact of maya's. it doesnt feel disrespectful or minimalizing (i mean jack means it this way to the characters but this is meta u know what i mean)

not only is the violin joke actually funny (despite the anguish one of ur companions is supposed to be feeling now), but it also serves to exemplify traits of jack's character: it's another example of jack's gleefully sarcastic jabs at the protagonists. throughout the entire game, jack is a ~funnyman~ villain to the players; he's constantly on the echo making fun of you and cracking jokes. jack doesn't consider the vault hunters a threat to him, and it's reflected in his attitude toward them for the most of the story. until the "where angels fear to tread" mission, in which angel is revealed as a siren, as well as handsome jack's daughter, and subsequently dies.

immediately following angel's death, jack drops his funnyman persona. he finally starts to consider the vault hunters a threat, and he stops making as many comedic remarks as he used to. he still makes jokes after this point here and there (like the roland milkshakes one), but they are noticeably much more pointedly cruel and morbid than his previous jabs.

his voice is also slightly different after this point. at previous points in the game, jack can sound almost impish while taunting the player, but after angel dies, his tone becomes more serious, and theres a noticeable anger behind some of his remarks. jack becomes much more clearly hostile, which shows a very sudden tonal shift in his character

in this way, the violin joke doesnt feel like it disrespects the impact of bloodwing's death, because the entire scenario works together to highlight the individual characters' traits and how they interact with eachother. mordecai lost something close to him, and jack happily rubbed salt in the wound because that's the kind of asshole he is. but when jack loses someone close to him, suddenly its not funny anymore. in this, the violin joke also serves as a contrast to jack's character, by spotlighting the difference in his reaction when causing pain versus experiencing it

clowning on a serious moment immediately after it happens works in borderlands 2 because the way the narrative is written compliments the individual characters and how theyre written. the jokes amidst the drama serves to emphasize the characters present, and even further serves to contrast their behaviour later, after a they experience some major development. i dont feel it works as well in bl3 tho, because the characters' reactions always feel more shallow and less like the impact of them is far-reaching or has many consequences for the character's development, in comparison to bl2's character development

i dont have much more of a point to end on tho other than thank u for coming 2 my tedtalk✌️

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[josefavomjaaga]

Is the quote, "Pourvu que ça dure!" attributed to Napoleon's mother actually real and if so, do you know more of the context around it?

That is an excellent question! I've just checked and saw that French Wikipedia even claims poor Letizia originally coined that phrase - though of course with a Corsican accent: pourvou qu'ça doure!

That claim at least can be easily disproven by a quick check in Google Books. The expression "pourvu que cela dure!" was used quite some time before Napoleon's mother became prominent enough for anybody to notice what she said.

Interestingly enough, I also could not find any mention of her saying that in the pamphlets of the Second Restauration; that's where I suspected the anecdote came from (as it mocks the Corsican accent, thus pointing out the "foreign" origins of the Bonaparte family, while having even Napoleon's own mother doubt her son's rise to power will last).

The very first mention I could find (but maybe somebody can correct me on this?) was as late as 1892 (!), in the writings of one ... here it comes ... Hippolyte Larrey.

Yes, that would be Dominique Larrey's son, who apparently wrote a lengthy essay in two volumes about Napoleon's mother. That's the same guy who also seems to be the reason why, whenever the medical service of the First Empire is mentioned, everybody thinks of one regimental surgeon, while all the other doctors are mostly ignored.

Needless to say that I'm highly suspicious about this. Even more so, as Hippolyte Larrey gives as his source "l'archiduc Charles-Louis d'Autriche" - archduke Karl Ludwig of Austria? Who was only born in 1833. So how would he know what Letizia said during the First Empire?

Unless somebody can provide us with a better source for that quote, I would rather treat it as apocryphal.

From the little I have read on Napoleon's childhood, I had the impression it's best to be very careful. From what we really know, there is no indication "Madame Mère" ever had much of an influence on her son or a special meaning in his life. Much of what is reported about her may just be legend. According to Pierre Branda's biography of Joseph Bonaparte, it's not even clear if Carlo and Letizia were ever properly married in church. At least there's no such certificate, and apparently it was not unusual in Corsica for couples to just move in with each other, and after a certain time they were considered legally married.

We really seem to know very little about that woman for certain.

Thank you for the Ask, and thanks to everybody who has something to add, as always!

[mettic]

Talking about multiplayer games 2022

Hi, I don’t really talk about this much because I mostly do it on twitter, but for the past two years or so I got active on backloggd because I enjoy writing in depth about video games but wont pretend that I have the speech ability to start a video game essay youtube. Feel free to read some of those if you want, I put more time into them than I should

However those who did click it might've noticed that I don’t really put stuff out on multiplayer based games. It’s not that I don’t play them; I play a lot really, but I have a hard time leaving a permanent review on multiplayer games just because of how the modern multiplayer games are; if you game is not actively updated it dies and is left in the dust. Every multiplayer game, even if it doesn’t call itself one, is a live service game, and live service games have to be iterated on constantly, it’s just the nature of the beast. How do you put a review on something that might radically change in a year from now? 

But I do want to talk about multiplayer games i put a decent amount of time into; but backloggd doesn’t have liek an individual journel entry thing i think and twitter doesn’t have the character limit for it, so I wanted to talk about multiplayer focused games I put time into this year  in this post. check it out under the cut

Lets just peel the Bandaid off real quick

Fortnite

fuck me. 

I think everyone has a character that fortnite will put into the game and it’ll break the camel’s back and you go “alright, i gotta see whats going on” and install it. for me it was vegeta.

It’s all an elaborate bait. They lure you in with truly outrageous crossovers; like shonens? we got DBZ, naruto and now MHA. Your favorite game characters? we got a lot of them; and god help us if they managed to make a deal with nintendo. You like marvel? cuz baby we Got Marvel. And the trap they lure you into with the bait? it’s that... fortnite is a good game?

Fortnite just hits a wonderful level of casual while still being a game where you can solo queue. The game just loves adding or rotating in weird stuff and it conjoins into a truly unique experience, while still having solid gunplay and honest 1v1s.

I’ve caught people filling gas with a pumpkin themed rocket launcher, turning them and the entire gas station into dust. In squads we set up a bounty, all four of us got on our own motorcycles and bows and chased them half way through the map like we were modern day mongels. I downed someone, picked them up, and had my friend with the bow that shoots poison gas shoot a cloud at my feet so I can smoke a dude out to death in my hands, which irl would likely be a for real warcrime. I can’t get this anywhere else.

other short thoughts: the game’s story setup of an island where realities crash together does wonders for the games skins. Outside of the collab stuff the skin parameters jsut being “a human body shape”  means they have full freedom to do whatever they want with skins; and this game has better original skins that most games on the market, there’s something you like in it. 

Part of the game’s success is its ability to just pump out content faster than any other game on the market, almost to the detriment of the entire gaming scene. The game rotates in new stuff almost every single week. Season 4 almost feels like a brand new game. Every other games output factor feels sluggish comapred to fortnite, which isnt fair because they make a bazillion dollars a day.

Also all of this is because of no build. Every time i’ve played gamemodes with build I find building just a straight detriment to the game. I would not of gotten into this game if I didnt get into it when no build was in the game; something that i’m pretty sure epic realizes. add no build royal rumble NOW

Fortnite unfortunately rules on multiple fronts

Gundam Evolution

Gundam Evo is a fun game with just the most annoying progression/monetization on earth.

Gundam is fun, fast, with cool characters even though I mostly just wanted to play methus/unicorn. Coming off the OW2 beta where i played for one evening with friends and didnt feel like playing it again into evo felt like night and day. Felt more frag heavy, far less CC/shield shooting, everyone’s got dashes, far less dependant on mmo tank/healer/dps focus in shooting game for some reason lead fora very fun time.

It still had overwatch problems; sometimes a team pops 3 ults at the same time and you just gotta give it up, lower skill team mates makes the game extremely hard and lop sided, ect ect but I still greatly enjoyed it more than OW2 and is one of the funner games in terms of pure shooting

however, the F2P aspect of the game basically killed it for me. The currency to buy units (and loot boxes) is limited to just rewards from the battlepass; of which giving how the first two went will require you to reach almost the end of the BP to get enough currency to buy a unit. Given the plan seemingly to add 1 unit a season, there’s no way to acquire every unit free to play (there’s 5 locked from the beginning, 6 now with Nu) , and if you fall off for a season the stuff you cant get just piles up. Along with that the daily/weekly system is frustrating; all quests are also locked to randomly selected choices of units, an idea perhaps made to force variation but often leads to you just not playing what you want so you dont fall behind on the BP. 

This all came to a head for me when i finished the S1 BP, took a break from the game, returned to S2 to see that every weekly/daily i had was for units I don’t want to play and had all interest in playing get sucked out of me.

Gundam evo is a fun game just dragged into the mud with the infuriating f2p design choices.

Multiple Different Fighting Games

I have a complication relationship with fighting games. I like them, and buy them, but just cant commit myself to them. I hate playing online, part of it being how ladder experience in most fighting games and also i’m not good at them so I get angry if I’m not playing with my friends, and sometimes i still get mad when i’m playing with friends. I’ll keep buying them and there’s plenty I do want to put more time into, but I had hitting discords with @everyone games? so a lot of them are doomed to be low on play time. here’s a quick rundown for them anyways

KOF 2002UM: picked up for the rollback update. I already kinda knew it but I played a decent amount of KOF this year and I really enjoy this franchise, hitting a nice middle ground between games like SF and faster anime fighters for me. This game is very fun and I had a blast. I also picked up 98 but i didnt play enough of it to make a real opinion.

Melty Blood Type Lumina: I really wanted to like this, and returned with the 2.0 update, and just still can’t get into it. it’s really disappointing because i LOVE MBAACC, which I would say is one of my favorite fighting games. Just never hit otuside of very early days; I still dont like shield and changes just feels like a bandaid and I never found a charater i was in love with like I was with C Wara, and seeing how this game is now half tsukihime and half FGO i guess im just not gonna get it.

KOF XV: similiar to 2002um, I really like this game and wish I had it in me to put more hours into it. I just think KOF is fun. Really hate how Billy ended up in this game because that’s my dude but terry and kukri are still cool and Shigo is on the way as well. We’ll see.

Not Traditional Fighters:

Nick all stars brawl: I’m a huge fan of Slapcity so I was onboard with this but honestly was just a flop for me. people understand that half the fun of melee is that the game is fast but games dont really understand WHY or HOW Melee is fast. Their solution is just to give people a million air dashes. The game feels mashy; even playing against people who knew more about what they were doing felt like tons of just air dashing and mashing out the safe airs, and if you’re really a gamer you knew jablock combos.  The psuedo 2.0 update helped the game on a small scale with voice acting and kinda fun items for castuals but I just wasnt having fun when playing this game. I liked Shredder tho

Multiversus: I still hop on this game a bit but I think I have similar issues with this game that I have with nick brawl, although i think MV is just better overall than NASB. Similarly just replaces movement related techs by giving people fast air dodges with long ranges and multiple uses. Still, it’s pretty fun, I think the 2v2 emphasis is a cool angle and there’s some cool characters. I still get a very It’s Mashy And Air Dashy feel from it but miles better than how it was in NASB, the F2P systems are fine and I hop on every once in a while. Also I can play Lebron and hes actually fun.

Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak

not necessarily a pure multiplayer game, but hey i like playing with friends

I like MH, and I think Rise and it’s systems are all great, and I wanted to actually play it which was unlike how i felt after a few hours in Iceborne. But as i’ve said before, the modern game content implementations is the worst thing that’s happened in the Monster Hunter. I hate MH drip feed. I dont want to play MH a little bit every few months, I want to just go extremely hard for like 2-3 months. But that’s not good for Engagement Numbers. Of course with drip feeding a few monsters every few months is fucking up the gear game; because they want you to not just kill a monster once and close the game the gear from new monsters has to be worth grinding out, so every patch the previous tier of weapons and armors have to be put back for the new hotness... which also makes the grinding kind of worthless because the elemental set of SAs i grind out with afflicted is about to have multiple pieces of it get outdated and needed to regrind.

Still, the game is fun, switch skills and wirebug is fun as hell. This is one of my favorite interpretations of my already favorite weapon in rise SA. I just hate that the drip feed is the fate of this franchise now because I really cant stand it, but hey when this game gets its last update i’ll dive back in.

THE CARD GAME SECTION BEGINS NOW:

Yu-gi-oh Master Duel 

I did write a review about this game on backloggd so i’ll keep it short. YGO is a fun but devisie game, and the game’s Balls To The Wall At All Times gameplay is 100% not for everyone, but going balls to the walls also can rule. 

MD as a client is pretty good, and is especially generous compared to most TCG clients, but the games lack of formats is painful. YGO is a particularly brutal BO1 game, and a lack of BO3 with sideboarding leads to frustrating laddering experience. Along with that, the game’s card list being multiple sets behind both TCG and OCG, and having a strange banlist that’s a combination of TCG/OCG and some half hearted BO1 hits leads the game to not really feel like an actual simulator for either of the games. 

I don’t hate MD but BO1 no sideboarding has lead to constant utterly miserable metas where you fight floodgates or 45 step bazillion endboard negate combos which burned me after, you know, a solid 200 hours.

Marvel Snap

It’s honestly remarkable that this game is good. I see most Brand: The Card Game! games to feel like just quick cash  grabs that never go anywhere, but they actually tried with this game, although i continue to lament on how games simply feast on the corpse of Artifact.

But yeah it’s fun. The power of the location cards alone do great to stop people from autopiloting turns, which would be a problem with this game if they didnt exist. It does lead to games sometimes being crapshoots and sometimes you just gotta take an L when X Mansion gives you quicksilver and your opponent infinianut, but all games being short and under 5 minutes makes it hard to get really mad when you get fucked. It does make the game’s signature Snap system, which lets you effectively gamble rank points, a very strange edition when location RNG can just fuck you over.

The game’s card collecting system is... weird but it is fairly F2P friendly ( even though ive bought all of the season passes lol). A lack of a way to just craft a card I want is frustrating, especially when you see a deck that’s cool and you’re just gonna have to wait forever to play it because you dont have like 3 of the cards needed for it, or just lack a strong lynchpin in an archetype (i STILL dont have Death man), and once you hit collection 4 opening like 3 crates without getting a new card is going to start getting really annoying.  Variants are a great way to do alt card art and there’s many that are pretty, although i mostly just spend my gold on new dailies for more chances at cards anyways.

it’s fun. god i really want more fucking cards man cmon.

Pokemon Trading Card Game Live:

Also did end up writing a backloggd review on this (very recently too) so i’ll keep it short: Game is fun and client is fine. Great new player onboarding due to the game just giving you the shell for a meta deck, and the other starter decks feel more reflective of the actual game as compared to the previous PTCG client. Incredibly stingy currency makes F2Ping hardly feasible, and whaling in this game involves just buying bulk codes off ebay... which is remarkably cheap honestly but still. Also teh game jsut has miserably ugly avatars, really dont know why they committed to that design. It’s fine, but if you want to F2P i can’t recommend it.

And that’s it for multiplayer games I put a lot of time into this year. fortnite is fun and i wish i could play fighting games without getting annoyed.

[khaleesiofalicante]

It's so stupid that you have to pick to pay rent or buy groceries, like wtf dude? Why does the world think this is ok? It also doesn't help my state hasn't raised their minimum wage in years so companies get away with paying use shit while everything is going up here.

Right now I have to try and find the money and take off things from our grocery list that we don't absolutely need so we can even have groceries for the next two weeks.

I'm trying to find another job but I don't want to go back to the company I used to work for because they put me in dangerous situations at times, but they do pay the best out of other places around here, it's just fucked dude.

And I'm trying to find an at home job but it's hard for me to qualify for them. I could a customer service one but I hate customers here so I feel like I'd get burned out real quick.

Like, I'm so tired of being an adult and having to stress about money.

Sorry to vent, just stressed today and tired of capitalism.

Adulthood be like :)

Please please don't go back to workplaces that literally put you in danger and prioritize profit/productivity, because they literally wouldn't give a fuck if we died. Trust me.

Have you tried any freelance copywriting jobs? It's what I used to do after i finished school (before I went to uni). You don't need qualifications and just need to submit a writing sample or two (share an essay you wrote for school). You basically just write 500 word or 1000 word articles on various topics they ask you. Look for 'copywriter' or 'freelance copywriting' jobs in your city or just in the US because this work is remote. Since you already write, it would be easy for you to do as well! (look on LinkedIn!! keywords include: copywriter, content writer, digital content creator) I hope something comes through, love.

Sending love 💙