#PsychotherapyClinicsinPune

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Feeling Alone in the Crowd

Being surrounded by people, including friends and family, but still feeling alone is not a great feeling. This feeling can further manifest into many a myriad of issues and problems. But you are not alone. Almost 33% of people around the world deal with loneliness.  

 Why do you feel alone and what can be done to tackle or manage this?

To find an answer to this, here are some tips from Trending Minds, the top mental healthcare centre in Pune.  

 Before discovering the answer to why one feels lonely even when surrounded by people, one needs to understand why they feel the way they do. It is mainly because you’re dealing with a void within you, a void that you're consciously unaware of. It is the mind dealing with a subconscious event, a trauma, a belief, that could be anything that scares you and this doesn’t allow you to feel whole and complete.

 Now a lot of people may deny the same but one needs to understand that our energetic state is composed of our thought patterns and beliefs. So, essentially what happens is that as an individual grows, they develop, our subconscious gathers and processes all the information from its surroundings and formulates our reality.

 So, how do you tackle loneliness?

 Practice Self-love – Yes, everybody says that they love themselves but do they really do? We are harder on ourselves when compared to the amount of credit, love, and empathy we give ourselves. What needs to be done is to celebrate our little achievements, avoid hurtful self-talk, take it slow, and give ourselves a break because no one is perfect, perfection is something we aspire to achieve.

 Be in the Present – Be in the here and now. Yes, we may be physically present in the moment but are we mentally present? Or is the mind wandering off into yesterday or is it over worrying about tomorrow? Being mindfully aware of our present, and taking in everything from our environment gives a sense of awareness, lets us see opportunities, and helps us with a sense of appreciation. It’s easier said than done so practising the art of being in the present needs to be a daily routine. 

 Self-compassion – Do not beat yourself too hard for your failures. Acknowledge them and know that out of failure comes success. Do not feel guilty or put down, instead learn from your mistakes and shortcomings and work on your strengths. 

 Autonomy – Know that you are the one accountable for the way you feel and no one else. The final decision is yours, whether you want to continue to feel like an outcast and beaten down or whether you want to get back up on your feet, be resilient, deal with what’s coming to you, and successfully overcome it. 

 The sense of feeling alone is very common, especially in this 21st century with so much digitisation and virtualisation in our lives. You aren’t alone and you don’t have to deal with this alone. Talk to mental health experts like the therapists at Tending Minds. We can help you with the best therapy for depression and loneliness. Make an appointment today and take the first step towards feeling better. 

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Simple Ways to Relieve Stress

Earlier, mental health was not a much discussed topic. It has been always kept under covers and open conversations about it have been a stinging issue in India. On the flip side, mental health has always been an important issue and almost all of us experience stress and anxiety on a daily basis.

However, we always don’t get much time to reduce stress levels. We are tied up either in work or some other activities. Thus, we need to have some techniques and hacks that offer instant stress relief. For a short term, these techniques will definitely help in reducing stress levels. I have managed to curate some easy techniques for you all to reduce stress.

Here are some prominent ways to decrease stress levels. If you want more information, you can pay a visit to Tending Minds, one of the best psychological clinics in Pune!

Count Backwards

When you experience panic or anxiety, take a deep breath and count backwards from 10 to 1. It will help you calm down to a great extent.

The Ball Hack

Do you know a ball can help you reduce stress and anxiety levels? Don’t believe me? Try for yourself. Take a golf ball and get a relaxing foot massage by rubbing your feet over it. A sponge ball can also assist you in stress relief. Just squeeze, release, and repeat!

Write it Out

When you experience severe stress, it’s a bad idea to vent it out on others. What you can do is write it down and it does not matter what type of paper you are using for it! Just start writing and express all the stress you have to the paper. Trust me, you’ll definitely feel better after a while.

Take a Walk

Several studies have indicated that a short walk can be the best way to relieve stress. Many studies have highlighted that people who took short walk breaks in between experienced enhanced relaxation and low nervousness levels at work. Hence, you can stroll away your stress effectively!

Tune In to Some Relaxing Music

Music has the power to influence your mood. Individuals listening to music with an intention to relax experience lower stress levels. Music is a powerful weapon that can attack stress with all its might. Just search for the perfect playlist comprising relaxing tunes and voila! You just found an easier way to kick stress out of your soul!

Most of the tips suggested here can decrease your stress levels for a limited period. If you want long-term results, you have to change your lifestyle entirely. You have to embrace mindfulness and introduce it in your daily routine. These changes can work wonders for you and help you tackle stress more effectively.

If you need guidance on how to start with mindfulness, you must book your slot at Tending Minds, the best psychological clinic in Pune. With our extensive expertise in psychology, we can suggest you the best plan for overcoming stress. So, what’s the wait for? Relieve your stress now!  

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Dealing with Negative Emotions Positively

“Don't fight against negative emotions- It’s exhausting. Try to embrace them instead.”

― Anoir Ou-Chad

 Life is a mixed bag of emotions, isn’t it? Having both highs and lows is a part and parcel of life. Everyone has their share of disgust, sadness, happiness, and joy. When sadness or grief strikes, emotions like anger, disgust, and fear crop in our minds. Negative emotions make us feel poor in some way or the other. They are very unpleasant in nature and can arise from situations like losing a valued possession, anger emerging when stuck in traffic, guilt that comes after not following a specific diet, etc. The list is endless! We feel these emotions every now and then.

Now, you must be wondering that we know all of this but how to deal with such emotions in a positive manner? This question always arises in our minds. Studies have shown that, instead of fighting negative emotions, it’s better to embrace them. This statement might seem weird but let me explain. As you can see the quote of Anoir Ou-Chad, he rightly says that fighting negative emotions can be exhausting. You will start avoiding negative emotions, which will give you temporary relief but some or the other time, they will all come together and overwhelm you with all their might!

To avoid such situations, we have to learn to accept these emotions and whisper to your mind, “I know (negative emotion type) are currently residing in my mind but I accept them. These emotions are not permanent. They will disappear as fast as they have arrived!” Such statements can work wonders for you. Want to delve deeper in this topic? Read on. If you still feel the need to have one-on-one consultation to deal with negative emotions, you can always contact Tending Minds, one of the best psychological clinics in Pune and book your appointment.

Here are some ways to deal with negative emotions in a better way. Follow the A.I.R (Acknowledge. Identify. Respond.) method whenever negative emotions travel across your soul!

 Acknowledge

Acknowledgement is more important than solution. Without acknowledging the problem, how will you know that it exists? When you have such emotions, first acknowledge that this particular emotion has entered and is trying to cause trouble. Understanding and accepting the emotions can reduce your stress to a great extent. But remember, even if you acknowledge the emotion, don’t ruminate on it. Remember, that they will eventually fade away. Until that happens, just mindfully hold some space for them

Identify

After acknowledgement, rather than focusing on causes, pay attention to the emotion. Ask yourself. “What is causing distress and why?” This question can assist you in understanding the message that the particular negative emotion is trying to give you. Then, you can analyze more closely and come to a conclusion instead of ruminating as mentioned in the earlier paragraph.

Respond

After these steps, your response plays a vital role. No matter how bad a emotion is, your response decides the outcome. If you respond to your emotion in a healthy way, you won’t feel bad for long. Furthermore, you can simply focus on the things that are under your control, which can be managed and resolved.

These steps are necessary for dealing with negative emotions in a positive way. Once you learn to manage your negative emotions effectively, you will be able to love yourself more and enjoy the present moment. For an in-depth and customized consultation on this topic, you can always contact Tending Minds and book an appointment.  

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MEND Your MIND Series: 4 Ways to Revamp your Work-Life Balance while Working Remotely

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Dealing with toxic family members

Family is where we grow and learn to interact with the world around us. There is nothing as wonderful as having a family that is supportive, caring, and nurturing. However not always are we blessed with such an idealized family. Many of us encounter at least one or two family members that make it difficult for us to live a happy, peaceful family life. Well of course, there are challenges, arguments and disputes faced occasionally, even in a cohesive family. However, unfortunately, if you are a part of a difficult family or find at least one member driving you crazy, it’s important to equip yourself with ways of dealing with it. Here are few things to keep in mind when you have to deal with any such situation.

1. Acceptance is the key:

It's often easy to feel that the person in front of you is deliberately choosing to make your life a hell. We naturally tend to assume that this person is intentionally causing us misery and which further fuels our feelings of hurt, hate and rage towards the person. It becomes crucial to recognize that the person is not the problem, but it is his/her actions that we find either fair or unfair. Moreover, remember we all are products of our genetics and our past experiences and that we do not always have a choice there. Don’t make it your agenda to 'fix' them. Just as you are the way you are, they are the way they are. Accept them with all their flaws. Try to shift your attitude from 'He shouldn’t be doing this' to 'I might not like it but that’s how he is'.

2. Look beyond the roles:

We all tend to hold certain ideas in our mind about how each of the family member should be and what role do they need to play in our life. For example, a mother should always be there or a father should be strong and so on. These expectations create an idealized version of how this person should be in our mind. Well, in reality your family members might not be the perfect match for this role. It then becomes important to recognize that before anything else, they are just humans and need to be seen only as humans.

     3. Not everything would be 'bad':

When you end up having troubles with a particular person over and over again, it is a common tendency to feel 'Oh God, not this again!' even when in reality you might have shared some good times with them. As you end up being on a look out for all the trouble that this person is causing, the good parts are filtered out and go unnoticed.

It might seem effortful but a good way to cope better with the situation is to look for and focus on the ‘good’ part. Additional, to make this relationship bearable, you could identify neutral, non provoking activities such as playing a game or watching a movie, wherein you could build on your positive experiences with this person.

 4. Be aware of the triggers:

If you pay a close attention to the situations that pose a problem, you might be able to identify what triggers you or this person off. There will be a strong difference of opinion in particular areas and your history might suggest that such discussions always stir up a chaos. To be aware of and avoiding such topics could be the best way to maintain harmony. It would be wise to strategize ways to address these issues in a non-confrontational fashion if the other person brings up the topic in your conversations. One way would be to gently deflect any such topic.

5. Create safe spaces:

In case it is extremely unavoidable, have delicate conversations in a space where you both feel comfortable. More importantly, ensure that you would have access to help or would be able to walk away from the situation if things escalate and take an ugly turn. When the other person is expressing their point of view, do not interrupt. Give them a chance to say all that they want to say. Do not assume what they might say and cut them in between. Moreover, listen empathetically. Recognize that whether you agree with them or not, they feel what they feel and that their feeling is valid.

6. Draw the line:

You might feel cornered due to the constant nagging or unwelcomed interference of this person in your matters. It might make sense to set certain boundaries between the two of you. You can decide on what you would want to or not want to share with this person. Make sure that your boundaries are respected and communicate with the other person what are some things that you cannot tolerate.

7. It's not about you:

Yet another common experience when dealing with difficult people is to feel like probably there is indeed something wrong with you. Especially when this person tends to criticize you, put you down or blame you for their problems. Remember, that irrespective of what their words or actions suggest, it does not reflect on who you are. Do not take things personally.

8. Assertiveness and open communication:

In case you find yourself in the middle of a discussion around sensitive topics, remember to communicate your viewpoint in a non-threatening way with lesser words. Being assertive, especially using “I” statements would be the way to go. It helps in communicating that you take charge of your feelings and that the other person is not being blamed. This brings down the defensiveness in the other person.

             Remember, these are few general guidelines that can help you cope better. In case you are facing significant concerns due to the troublesome relationship, you may to reach out and seek psychotherapy for depression, anxiety and stress. Moreover, engaging in family therapy might prove to be beneficial so as to address your unique concerns and work on family dynamics. However, in case of any physical, sexual or emotional abuse, ensure safety and reach out to appropriate sources of help such as Women and Child Welfare Committee or Police.

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MEND your MIND series - Simple tips to overcome stress

We BEND our minds to extensive stress levels, but we often forget to MEND our minds. Just as a simple stitch can fix your footwear, a mere thought can change your life!

In this mend your mind series, I will share different ideas that will help you conquer the bitter enemy known as stress. These tumultuous times have helped us realize the importance of mental health, and thus, we must defend it from any untoward influences.

The COVID-19 pandemic is one of the most distressing episodes in everyone’s life. The unprecedented outbreak hit the globe with high transmission rates, which forced many countries to enforce restriction on the movement of the people. Strict restrictions were imposed and forced many people to stay at home for prolonged periods. This aspect affected all age groups. Here are a few words of wisdom to overcome this stressful phase.

For Children

Coping with the COVID-19 stress has been difficult for children. The transition from traditional to online education has been especially challenging for them. If your child is stressed too much and can’t bear it, you can head over to Tending Minds to provide the best counseling for depression and anxiety to your children.

Some Simple Steps

1. Try to stay positive and     always imbibe positive messages that a bright future lies ahead.

2. Let them perform simple     meditation and stretching exercises. These activities will keep depression     at bay.

3. Spend some quality time with     them daily, and don’t discuss about COVID-19 in front of your children,     even with other family members.

For Adults

Lockdowns are meant to protect us from the deadly virus but spending long durations at home has been challenging. In addition, the fear of contracting COVID-19 along with the economic and financial distress has led to immense stress. The stigma attached to the contraction of COVID-19 and post-COVID stress has taken a heavy toll on people’s minds. Thus, mental therapy for depression is necessary for all the affected people.

Some Simple Steps

1. Do not keep a constant watch     on the COVID-19 positivity rate and the number of positives. There is a     thin line between being aware and being fearful.

2. If you feel anxious,     practice slow breathing for a few minutes.

3. Call up your near and dear     ones when you feel lonely. Discuss happy things and avoid negative     communication.

4. Avoid alcohol and tobacco     consumption. You may feel the urge to give in these habits to cope up with     emotions, but it can worsen mental and physical health too.

Stress is common but winning over it is uncommon. You have to be uncommon. You have the grit and determination to overcome stress. All you need is a little push and a bit of advice. Remember, you are capable of anything; a tiny nudge is what we require. Tending Minds has the best clinical psychological services in Pune to help you win the battle against stress!

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Psychotherapy - The Right Way of Helping

Any mental health condition not only affects the individual suffering from it but also exerts demands from other people around. Family members and friends face the challenge of caring for and supporting the person through his/her journey towards better psychological well-being. As the burden of mental disorders is increasing globally, I am sure we all must have come across someone, in our family or a friend, who appears to be suffering from a mental health condition.

Most often than not, as hard as it is to accept that our loved one is suffering from mental health issues, lack of an understanding and knowledge about how to help renders one feeling helpless and frustrated. While working with individuals I come across family members who are often baffled as they struggle to find responses and behaviors that are appropriate and helpful. 'No matter what I do or say, he/she still feels that I don't understand. Should I be doing something differently?' they ask. Well, Psychotherapy has a few ways in which one can support a loved one as they battle with their difficulties.

 a. Initiate a conversation:

               In most cases it happens that the person who is suffering from any mental health issue is unlikely to come and talk about it explicitly. 'It's so difficult for me to explain and even if I did, will anyone understand what I am going through?' is a common fear that holds them back from opening up to anyone. The responsibility then falls on us to reach out and hold an open conversation with them. It can be as simple as stating the things that you have been noticing around this person, in a non judgmental fashion and expressing concern around the same. This may sound something like this:

'For the past few days I have been noticing that you are little stressed and lost in your own thoughts. Lately you have also been keeping much to yourself. This worries me a little. I am genuinely concerned about you. Is there anything that is bothering you? Would you like to talk about what’s going on?'

Remember, that even after this, the person might find it hard to talk and would want to take some time before verbalizing his concerns. This is completely alright and acceptable. The idea is to open a door of conversation for them and letting them walk through it at their own pace. Saying 'It's alright if you don't want to talk about it right away. Whenever you are ready, just know that I am here for you', helps the person feel accepted, welcomed and not pressurized into sharing what he finds difficult to express.

    b. Joining in the experience:

                         Imagine if an otherwise cheerful, lively and ambitious person comes and tells you that he has been feeling sad and hopeless for past few days, what would your first reaction be? I have seen people being perplexed by such revelations and most often questioning- "What’s wrong with you? What’s there for you to be depressed?"

It is alright for anyone to feel surprised about what their dear one is experiencing but it is important to remember that your loved one needs more of your support than judgment during this phase of his life. Saying 'it's no reason for you to be anxious' or 'how can you be upset about this, it's no biggie' or 'you know people have it worst' isn't going to help. Rather all it does is make the person feel not understood and invalidated.

Instead join them in their experiences. Remember that you may not agree with their reasons for being sad, anxious, worried or stressed but that does not mean that their feeling, pain or suffering isn't real. Recognize that like you may be having your own reasons, both rational and irrational, for feeling a particular way in a particular situation, this person can also feel things in his own unique way.

It is then important that you not only realize this but also extend support and acceptance by verbally acknowledging their pain. Accept and help them also accept that it's ok to feel they way that they are feeling, because emotions aren't right or wrong. Let them know that you understand how hard it might be for them; that you are there for them and that they don't have to go through it alone.

 c. Look beyond the labels:

               Caregivers often tend to attribute the signs and symptoms of mental health disorders as faulty ways of being or as problem behaviors that the person chooses to engage in. 'He is just LAZY you know' or 'she's just being CRANKY. She does this all the time' is unfortunately what I sometimes hear them saying.

It is very easy to confuse between symptoms and undesirable behaviors, for example feeling amotivated can look like being ambitionless. What’s important here is to look beyond these tags or labels and acknowledge that these may be signs that one needs to attend to.

It is important that you recognize that a particular behavior can be something much more than what it just seems to be superficially. Communicating about the same with the person is very essential. Expressing something like "you know what; you were not always like this. You were enthusiastic, always active. This is just because you are going through something difficult right now. I know that this is not you", helps the person separate himself from the disorder and reminds you both that it's not the person who is the 'problem' but the condition that needs to be addressed.

 d. Holding compassion:

When the person, suffering, is sharing his concerns and difficulties, rather than attempting to fix their problems, all you need to do at times is to simply listen and respond to them with compassion. When they tell you how they feel, saying something like- 'I am sorry that you feel this way but I am really glad that you opened up to me. What can I do for you? How can I help?', conveys that you care for the person and are willing to be there for him the way he would want you to be. It encourages the person to talk openly and share his vulnerability without having the fear of being judged or being misunderstood.

Remember that sometimes merely listening is also helping. Not every time does your dear one need you to solve problems, fix things or give advices. Sometimes all that's required is to have someone who holds a space for them to express all that he is feeling and that in itself is enough for the person to feel good. At times it is even completely alright to just sit quietly whenever appropriate or to acknowledge that one is short of words (saying- "I don't know what to say"). Your presence and willingness to be with the person is what actually matters.

 e. Acknowledge the positives:

One needs to subtly remind their loved one of all the positive aspects, big or small, that are still present in his life. With all the struggles that he is facing, your loved one is likely to overlook all that’s going well for him.

This doesn’t mean simply pointing out at materialistic things that they have but instead it means to bring their attention to the capabilities they have and reminding them of their strengths. Helping them find the strength to face this challenging situation can be achieved through simple encouraging statements like 'Even though it seems difficult right now, I know you have the strength in you to fight this'. It helps in sending across a message that you want to help them believe in themselves without minimizing their problems at the same time.

  f. Educate yourself:

                Not knowing what is going or what to expect can be a major source of anxiety and stress for family members and friends. The uncertainty of how things are going to turn and the added stigma around mental health concerns that the society holds, caregivers often feel overwhelmed.

Learning about what your loved one is going through and gaining more information about it will aid in coping better with your own feelings of uncertainty and to help your loved one effectively. For example if your partner is suffering with depression, then familiarizing yourself with the condition will help you in knowing how to respond to the behaviors that he is having. Moreover, it will equip you with the knowledge of what to expect or not to expect from this person as a result of the condition he is suffering from. This will also aid in identifying the need and appropriate source for professional help.

 Lastly, you also need to remember that along with taking care of your loved ones, you also need to take care of your own mental and physical health. One might feel overburdened with this responsibility of taking care of their dear one and as a result might soon experience feelings of anger or hostility towards them. Hence it is important to be able to take care of yourselves while caring for others.

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How to cure anxiety or depression

anxietyanddepressiontherapyWorkshops and training programs are the most effective tools at reaching out to a number of people.

These are aimed at educating and making individuals equipped with certain skills, techniques and ideas about specific topics related to mental health and mental well-being.

We, at the center, recognize that as mental health professionals we hold the responsibility to promote mental and emotional well-being within the community. For which our experts offer seminars and workshops to schools, corporate and other teaching/non-teaching organizations in the following areas:

 ·         Life skills training for adolescents

·         Self care and Self compassion

·         Mindfulness

·         Empathy and Emotions

·         Mental health hygiene

·         Corporate Workshops: Goal Setting, Team Building, Time Management etc

·         Promoting Mental Health Knowledge

Our professionals believe in sharing their knowledge and expertise with the budding psychologists and provide them with different training programs. These educational programs attempt to ensure that we provide our participants with sound theoretical understanding and refined clinical skills.