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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #435

from yesterday, don’t feel like updating the answers. :^)

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Uhhh. I really don't know... I mean maybe doing all I can do avoid debt? That's what my parents mostly argued about, and I know financial strain can really affect a couple. I never want that burden. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? My damn self. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No; my parents didn't grow up here. Wait! I THINK Mom had one of my college professors? I don't recall for sure, and I definitely don't remember who it was. Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge? Nah. Are there any songs that inspire you? Certainly, such as "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Get Up" by Shinedown, and more. How do you feel about celebrities getting involved in politics? Do you think that the celebrity world and the political world should be kept apart? Not at all; everyone has the right to share their opinion and should not feel like it's necessary to censor it. Let them be people with morals and beliefs, too. I'm totally fine with them CHOOSING to be quiet about controversial subjects, but they're more than welcome to share their thoughts on any topic. What is one pro of living where you do, and what is one con? What is a pro and a con of living where you wished you lived? I guess the only real pro (and this is horrible to be the first thought) is that we're under the radar; like, not really a target for terrorism or anything, lol. I'd get kinda nervous if I lived in, like, Washington D.C. or something. We have A LOT of cons: there is NOTHING to do, we're essentially a hub for crime, the scenery is boring and bland as fuck... I could go on for a long time. I'd love to live in many areas in North America, but I'll go with Alaska, since that would absolute RULE. A strong pro would definitely be the cold climate and the sights, but it would definitely be a con to me when that relentless dark era lasts for months on end. I need the sun (from inside anyway, ha ha) sometimes, because it being dark for what, half a year?, would really damage my happiness. What is your favorite episode of your favorite TV show? Referring to Meerkat Manor, it's actually the one where Mozart dies, I think, even though it destroyed my heart. I just think the writer portrayed it as so beautifully tragic, and the clips shown were so pretty. Does having others watch you do things make you uncomfortable? What sorts of things make you extremely uncomfortable if you are watched while doing them? Are there any things that give you confidence to do if you have an audience? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY. Do NOT watch me on the computer (especially when writing), I literally will not draw if someone's watching (inevitably besides in Art classes, I think Sara is legit the only person who's watched me draw a bit), I really don't like people watching me edit photography, I'm nooot a fan of others seeing me exercise (though I kinda have to suck that up with having a personal trainer), etc. etc. Just don't watch me do anything, lol. I don't know what actually boosts my confidence if I'm being observed. Does someone in your house speak a different language on a regular basis? No. Do you follow or care about any big sports events? Not at all. Are there any activities people normally do together that you prefer doing alone? Hm. I dunno. If you are going somewhere where you’ll have to wait for a while (i.e. a doctor’s office), do you bring something to occupy yourself? My phone, yeah. How long is your favorite song? I checked, and it's almost six minutes. Do you think you’d ever want to be “internet famous”? I'll admit I've somewhat thought about it, only because my career choices are running so dry, and I'd be able to do it alone. However, I've got noooo idea what I'd actually do, and I also don't think I could handle ridicule or anything like that for any reason. Having a spotlight on me would stress me out. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister. What moment in your life have you been most scared? Probably this one occasion where Dad had to pick my sister and me up from school one day and make the 30-minute drive home. Well. He was clearly in a hellish mood because he was flying. He ran stop signs and red lights, passed people illegally... I was in the passenger's seat and absolutely convinced we were going to crash. I can barely believe we didn't. Who was the last person you slow danced with? -_- Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. I like how they block out external sound better, and they don't hurt my ears like headphones do. What person/people do you trust the most? My mom. Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? My parents, sisters, my nieces and nephew, Sara... A lot of people, if I'm being honest. I don't value my life as much as I should. Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? I am DESPERATE to rescue an opossum one day. :''''( What teacher did all the high school boys/girls have a crush on? I have no idea. Have you ever felt seriously violated? No. Do you watch American Horror Story? I adore(d) the first season; it was mine and Jason's "show." We watched most of season two as well, but I lost interest in the later half of it. I haven't really watched it since, save for the pilot episode of some season I forgot. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? Not to my knowledge. What’s the scariest nightmare you remember having? Something involving my dad that I won't speak about. Pancakes or French toast? Oh my god, French toast. That sounds delicious rn. Are there any apps you’re addicted to? Not addicted, nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? Yes; it was a bunny holding a multicolor polka-dotted blanket. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Hell yeah. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? No. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Just black. What font do you usually use? I mean, it depends on what I'm doing. Is it supposed to appear professional? Aesthetically pleasing? It varies too much to answer this with one font. What about font colors? Usually just black, but again, it depends on what I'm writing. Are you good at making graphics or designing layouts? Ha, no. Do you put gel or mousse in your hair? No. Sleep with just one pillow? No, I use two. I am VERY uncomfortable with just one. Ever woke up crying? Yeah, from nightmares. Do you like big dogs or small dogs better? It depends on the breed and their energy level. I don't really prefer one over the other as a general judgment. Are you going to graduate high school on time? I did. Been to the zoo lately? No, but I'd love to go. :/ Now that I'd consider myself at least a pretty decent photographer, I'd love to see what shots I could take. I LOVE photographing animals with how unpredictable they are. It's like playing the lottery; you really don't know what you're going to get, but you have the chance for seriously priceless moments. Even if we could afford the trip, though, I know I wouldn't last long whatsoever with my legs being as weak as gelatine. I know especially that there's a notable incline in the path, and I'd never make it up it. I really, really look forward to the day where I can really start feeling a difference in my body thanks to the gym. Have you ever been to Mississippi? No. What did you do for your last birthday? We went to The Cheesecake Factory. Do you like to cook? No. What is the worst thing that has happened to you in your entire life? If I'm looking at the big picture and what truly damaged my pleasure in life the most, it'd be developing depression and such intense anxiety. I've given up so much and changed so negatively because of it. Do you know when your next family reunion will be? We've never had one. My family is too spread out. What is your favorite thing to do with your significant other? I'm single, but even in a relationship, I love playing video games together. I've got multiple memories of just having a great time doing that. Where is “home” for you? Wherever Mom is. Is there an animal that creeps you out? Whale sharks, maggots and other bug larvae, centipedes, many beetles, and some other bugs. What is the name of the last band you discovered? Uhhh.. good question. I admittedly don't listen to new music a lot. I tend to stick to the stuff I know. Do you prefer group projects, or would you prefer to work alone? I would rather kick my ankle against a Razer scooter than do a group project. Have you ever been to Hooters? No. Do you have a brother? What’s his name? Yeah, Robert, but everyone calls him "Bobby." Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? About a billion times. I still do sometimes. Do you have a ceiling fan located in your bedroom? Yes. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No, but I was supposed to visit one in the fourth grade. The water was way too aggressive that day, though, so we had a change of plans and went to a closer island. Hell, it might have been the better option, because it had horses. I remember collecting seashells, too, and just watching the power of the ocean hammer at the shores. It was really pretty. Have you ever been bitten by an animal? Only playfully, like by a cat. Well wait, I think my old baby iguana may have bitten me once (he sure tried to, ha ha), but I don't remember for sure. Did it rain today? Yes. It rains pretty much every afternoon here in the late summer. What was the name of the last dog you pet? Zeke, my sister's German shepherd. He's adorable. Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? No. Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? I pretty much always hug my friends when I see them. I'm a big hugger. Have you ever witnessed a tornado? No, thank the fucking Lord. Who is your favorite person to talk to when you’re down? Sara. What are you listening to right now? "Blood For Blood" by Powerwolf. Can you get over people easy? Hell no. I do NOT handle loss well AT ALL. And not just romantically. What was the last thing you carried to your room? A drink. Do you drink water that comes from your sink? Only once it's been filtered. Have you ever prank called the police? That is fucking awful. No. What’s your LEAST favorite smiley? XD looks so stupid to me I'm sorry lmao xD reigns supreme. Do you like Italian food? Yeah, more than I used to. Have you ever put red lipstick on just to make lip marks on something? No. Do you watch Shane Dawson on YouTube? Isn't his career pretty much toast now? I DID used to love his videos, though. I still occasionally watch his fiance, though, and he pops up sometimes. Regardless of everything, I still think he's funny as fuck. Would you ever spend a day to see what it’s like to be homeless? NOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO. I am TERRIFIED of living on the streets someday. I want NO idea what it's like. Is the house you’re currently living in over 50 years old? I highly doubt that. Have you ever had a yard sale? Many. What is your favorite color? Baby pink. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Today was extreeeemely dull and felt like it lasted eons. Do you know anyone that has/had cancer? I sadly know maaaaany. Have you ever read somebody else’s diary? No, that is incredibly rude. Do you enjoy going to school? I hated it from start to end. Like I have good memories, but overall, I hated school. Were you a big jump roper back in the day? OHHHH YES. I almost learned how to double-dutch, even. I could jump with two ropes, but not jump in with two. Are you a local celebrity? Definitely not. Do you eat candy daily? No. I'm already fat dude, I don't need candy. I avoid candy as best as I can. Do you get nervous with public speaking? Like you would not believe. How old were you when you got your driver's license (if you have it)? I'm 25 and still don't have it. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yes. What memory are you most afraid of losing? Meh, I don't know. A lot of what I consider my "favorite" memories I'd honestly be better off losing, probably. Who accompanied you to your first concert? My mom, younger sister, and Jason. Would you rather have tickets to see your favorite band in concert, or $100 to go shopping? TAKE ME TO THE OZZY CONCERT. What do you usually eat for breakfast? It really varies. I'd say cereal most often, probably? Do you wish you were more outgoing? Yeah. Do you know anyone who wears a hearing aid? I don't think so?

#survey #surveys #random questions

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ahmadabunasra · 4 years ago

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Why I moved to Texas: A cost benefit Analysis

When campus was closed due to the pandemic, I was left with an important decision to make, continue living on campus or move back home. Seeing that school was online, and the campus would be completely closed I had to do an opportunity cost analysis to determine whether I would stay in the Orange Country or move back home 40 minutes away. To do a proper opportunity cost analysis, I had to analyze all the different tradeoffs that would be affected by my decision.

Pros of living in Irvine:

Living with my friends and away from my parents allows me the privacy to do things my parents do not approve of (aka smoke weed). Furthermore, living with my friends is more fun as we do things together and enjoy each other’s company. Lastly, even though campus is closed Orange County offers some of the world’s most beautiful beaches: one of few things that had not been shut down by the pandemic.

Con of Living in Irvine

With Orange country being one of the most beautiful places in California, the rent reflects that exact sentiment. To afford living in the Irvine me and my friends shared a house with 6 other people. Even with so many people in the house, rent is still $700-800 per person. Living with six guys means a lot of mess and a lot of noise. Messiness and cleaning are a constant battle with college roommates as people come from very different backgrounds and view the urgency of cleaning in very different ways. Furthermore, 6 guys mean constant arguing, people over and music blasting, all of which would affect my ability to study and relax.

Pros of Living At home:

The biggest reason for moving back home is my mom does not charge rent. Furthermore, my mom loves cooking, so it also means home cooked meals everyday and yup you guessed it … FOR FREE!!!! Lastly, I have high school friends that moved back home that I would get to reconnect with.

Cons of living at Home:

My house back home is quite small, and I share a room with my little brother who is a video game addict. If you have siblings who game, you know they constantly scream at the TV and never leave their room under any circumstance. This means I would be woken up at 2 am by his screams at the game and would never have the place to do my work in peace and quiet. Furthermore, I cannot do anything my mom does not approve of, which is quite a long list at this point so I would be constantly reprimanded for my actions. Finally, living at home would mean my actions during the pandemic would directly affect my family so no matter how careful I cannot: go to the gym, hangout with my friends or do anything that would put my family at risk.

Decision:

With the pandemic closing the entirety of campus and many social events the benefits of living on campus became non-existent. Also being a tutor, I figured my business would take a huge hit and paying the $800 a month would prove to be extremely difficult. Accounting for all the pros and cons of my living situation, I decided to move back home to save money and be with my family during the pandemic.

I have always wanted to explore the possibility of living in Texas as it was advertised as being less expensive than California while still offering some of the same amenities of being in a city. After doing some research I decided I would want to live in either Dallas or Austin. I joined housing Facebook groups and quickly found out that living in these cities in Texas is comparable in price to living in a decent neighborhood in California, it was not cheap by the furthest stretch of the imagination. Then the Storm came…

The Texas storm devastated the state and left many people without power or running water for weeks, some even froze to death. The storm caused many students at the University of Texas to move back home to their families in fear of being alone without power or electricity. Naturally, the demand for housing decreased and a price decreased as it followed. I decided to search for housing while the tragedy was passing and found a guy willing to rent me 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom house in the heart of the city of Austin for $700. For reference, a house like that normally costs north of $2000. Now I had a decision to make, leave my friends and family and explore Texas or stay home?

Living at home was an absolute nightmare. I could not go to the gym, see my friends and most importantly I could not do any of my schoolwork. My house was too small for a personal desk and all the libraries and coffee shops were closed due to the pandemic, so for the longest time I was simply doing my homework on my bed. The decision here was simple: go to Texas because at least I would have my own space and be able to focus on my schoolwork.

Arriving to Austin was the most pleasant surprise I could ever expect. The apartment was much larger than I had anticipated, the weather is perfect, the population was extremely diverse, and the actual City of Austin is beautiful and has a river that flows through it. Texas also decided to open businesses and lift the mask mandate. Although the state received heavy criticism for lifting the mandate, masks are still required to enter most stores such as: Costco, target, and many malls as well. Texas opening, allowed bars to be accessed at full scale, and for a low-risk individual in their early 20s I was ecstatic as the lack of social interactions had made me quite miserable. Furthermore, it brought up the cost of living back to where it normally was and I was able to find a roommate that was interested in the night life and was okay with going out and possibly being exposed. I charge him $800 for rent, not only making my rent free, but also giving me an extra $100 every month. I am extremely happy with my decision, here is a picture of me kayaking the Colorado river.

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the-countessa · 8 years ago

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Embrace the suck...it's gonna be a long ass night

It is not that I no longer care, because I do, and always will; not matter how angry, how hurt, how used up I feel, and without rhyme or reason, I always shall care. I'm always going to keep an eye on his facebook to make sure he is still alive and ok. I'm never going to stop wishing things were different or hoping like hell they're gonna change, or get something back from before. And I mean wish, and hope and hell, even prey (my version anyway) But I simply cannot have the person that he has become in my life. Too much hurt; too many times times over the last four and a half years of being treated (as he is fond of saying) like a cunt. Cheated on when we were dating, lied to repeatedly, and my feelings being railroaded. Then when I sat there, angry and upset, demanding to be treated with respect and consideration; well, with each time, it's become harder and harder for him to see. And treating my pain as insignificate and only from some shallow places of jealousy. And yes, even I can see the obserdity of it, to end it all over, as he sees it, pizza. But after so long of looking after him, since the very beginning back in Gravesend when we first hung out and he was unemployed, buying him food, trying to keep him going as best as I could. All I have ever done really. After doing that and being treated so badly and used up, when I needed him to simply return the damn favour when I had no food and no money, I get thrown out on my arse, for a date? And the ironic thing is, the bit he doesn't know, I actually like the idea of this one... But after so long giving and giving and giving; after him banging on about gratitue and friendship and giving back, he simply failed. Failed again. Failed me. And then to have the line "You're not my enemy, you'll just be another 'friend' that's decided to not talk to me anymore." as though I haven't tried time and time again, as though nothing I have ever done made any sort of matter; not Christmas (not good enough), not his birthday (too depressed), not paying for food, gym clothes, warhammer boards, taxis to and from a&e, not all the time I cooked dinner, did the laundry, made the bed, bought the linin and kitchen crap, not the running to the chemist when he was sick...not the sex, dating, friendship. None of it. And no, that doesn't mean I've forgotten what he did for me...but it doesn't balance the books. He let me move in with him, rent free, to get me away from my dad who was close to driving me to suicide; but that he had someone to pay for food whilst he wasn't working, pay the rent when he couldn't manage it (once? twice?). And arrangment of mutual conveniance that saved him just as much as it did me. Yeah, he paid out for some great nights out, but so did I...but it hurt more to pay for tickets to go up to London and watch him butterfly his arse around his friends, only to return for a drink. Hell, I paid for his birthday and for him to be at my own. The books just no longer balance, and there is only so much one can put up with until you wonder "why am I here? How can this be friendship when I feel like I am trying to constantly please you, only to have it go unnoticed, unmentioned?' I was always the first to fight his corner and the last out the ring, no matter what. But more and more he says and does things that leave me speechless and sick. A mutual friend lost the love of her life a couple of weeks before christmas; he'd have rather spent his money on a bottle of booze than support her. Even heard tell that she offered to pay for him to go to the memorial, just because she wanted him there...he couldn't muster up enough friendship to support someone who has truely lost something vital. December again, I spent a small fortune on a long month doing everything I could to make it good for him, almost the way you would for a child. And after forking out over £60 for his birthday, paying for him to come out for mine...couldn't even manage a 99p birthday card. What did he say to me the day before Christmad Eve, something about him rather spending his money making him happy. Not a thought to giving back. Halloween; I get sexually assulted, and what frightened me most was him pining me to the bed with his hands around my throat screaming at me. And promptly throwing me out. Ignored me for three days. Told me how his hands around my throat was my fault. The wife beater excuse, the line of domestic abusers, that it was asked for. And that's now ironically been capped off with him telling me to report the abusive bastard who lives next door. And that is who he is. A lying, cheating, violent, angry, bitter man, so self obsessed that if he were to read this, would be more concerned about him image than that he has hurt and terrified the person who has done more good things for him than most. So self-serving, he's rather date than help a friend who sucked up their pride and fear and asked for just a little help. So hypocritial, he bangs on about how pro-feminist he is, how much he understands mental health because he has problems too, that he oh so easily paints me as the Crazy ex-GIRLfriend, throws my depression in my face, hell, even the other day he was pulling at the thread of someones BPD. So obssesed with this idea he has of happiness, that he doesn't spair a thought for those he climbs over to get to it. So weighed down with his past, so stuck there, that any female worth a damn couldn't get through; more in love with what has gone that he barely appreciates what he has. Ok, so exactly true; he has been more than happy to praise everyone else who has helped him (joint incommers or people who have had a sudden windfall) just not me. The one who the second she can't afford to keep him is told "If someone offers to pick me up n feed me for free then sorry but I'm gonna take it." turning his date into little more than a meal ticket and showing me that I am no longer of any use. What was the point of me? That isn't even a drop in the ocean of it all; so much over the last four and a half years. And memories that should be good are now completely tainted. I managed 28 years on this earth without one real regret, until now. And that is I regret having ever met him. And that is heart crushing. That is what drives me into a bottle and into a packet of little blue pills. For my shame. So, how can I still care for someone, after all that? Maybe everyone, his people and mine, are right, Im just abused and frightened and simply stockholm Syndrome. Or maybe I am right, maybe underneath it all, the fear and anger and confusion, there is a good soul. Or maybe my mother is right and he is suffering from some serious mental health issue. I just don't know anymore. But still, how in the hell can I still find it in me to give a damn and wish we could go back? It's fucked up. I don't know if he'll read this. I hope he does. I really hope he does. I know he'll be fuming, see it as an attack or bitchfest. But honestly, I just want, and he needs to see that he cannot go on this way. That this, who he has become and what he is doing is not good or right, for the best, or anyone elses fault but his own. And fix it! No one else can. I am not just some 'friend', I was your best friend who would have done anything to keep you from drowning. I did not decide to not talk to you, I am just simply unable to talk without wanting to scream and shout and cry and hope like hell something finally gets through that thick skull of yours! And no, I am not the only one. Hell, my family hates him now; even my own mother, who opened her home to him after he cheated on me with Jasz because I asked her to, who stood by me during so many arguments and rows before Christmas to ensure that he wasn't alone wants to clobber him (though, as I keep telling her, she is disabled and probably would not get very far). And as for his friends? How many of them told me to run, call him a snake, have told me how they are done with his melodrama and bullshit...and not just the ones who show two faces, but the genuine good ones have basically decided that they are done. I'm sure that will send him into a rage, but I should be clear that no, I haven't been slagging him off to everyone and their mother just to get that response because I have been begging everyone to tell me I am wrong. And trying like hell to make sure these people stay close enough in his life to keep an eye on him. I do not want him to loose his people because (so long as he doesn't continue to alienate them) he will need them. It hurt to see him advertise a gig for a band that he knows I love, that he promised to take me to, because he cut me out. It hurts to read him alter history just enough that I loose my place it in. It all hurts and I get angry and yes I lash out. Because it is unfair and crule. But I'll get over that all in time...a very, very, very long ass time. What I shall not get over is his self-distruction. Ok, maybe we no longer fit in one anothers life; but to watch hin waste his life, ignore his health, and basically act more like a child than the almost 40 year old adult is driving me nuts. I want to shake him. No, I want to tie him to a chair whilst I beat him with a basebalk bat yelling "I love you but sort you fucking shit!" Own your mistakes. Admit to them. See yourself for what you really are, and fucking well fix them! Take a long hard look at your life, stop blaming others and walking around with a chip on your shoulder like the Universe owes you something and get the hell over it. And take a long hard look at everything you have done to me over the last four and a half years, be honest with yourself about your actions, your behaviour; from the editing of a truth to "save" my feelings, to the outright lies, cheating, using my body like I was a whore (a post for another time, but fucking someone without eye contact, without a simple sodding kiss, and with what we did, without basic aftercare, I have come away with some serious issues in regards to sex...on top of a sexual assult) and see through my eyes. See how it looks and feels to always be dropped by you best friend for the same reason time and time again, sex. No other reason, not for family or friends or emergancies or work or anything, just sex. Just open your eyes. All this writing, all these words are for me, and though I know he will be angry for it, I hope that there is an understanding (finally) that this silly little account is the one corner of the internet is mine. And surely a hell of a lot better than posting it to facebook. And Id never be able to say these things to him, because his anger would stop him from actually listening and just start shouting me down. I don't honestly know if he'll read this, but I hope he gets to the end. I hope he reads and dwells and thinks and learns and changes. I do not know how to get out of this blackhole, I only know that he is the only one with the power to do so. All I can do is make an attempt to follow a little of my own advice. I am lacking for a life, but I am working on it. Not to spite him, but regardless of him, I need it. And I need to follow my passion too. Something that makes me happy, that I hope may bring joy to others. You broke my heart, and my spirit, but I shall rebuild me. A better me. Me who will be just as giving and as loving as I always have. And I sincerly hope he can do the same because he is on a path to his own personal hell, and to stay in his sphere right now will only drag me down with him. I cannot allow that. And once he has fixed him, maybe he'll come find me, and maybe he can lay some groundwork to fix us, better than before. But no one can live on just hope forever. Anyway, if you stuck with this long ass post, thanks. And ten points to you. I realise it's filled with melodrama and meloncolly...and god awful spelling errors, but I dont have a spell check and it is below freezing and I am smoking up a storm as I type. And it's dark too since we've blown a fuse at the homestead. But I am an emotive person, a quite a talking, and a classic over thinker whose mind has literally been stuck on this issue for the last 2 weeks and 6 days. And people have told me to talk to him, but I know he will not listen to me, so I figured, try here? Maybe something might get through? And maybe, I can expell some of this negativity and pain so I can move on, in that healthy mature sort of way. Anyway, I guess that's it. XOXOX

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viciwillcreates · 8 years ago

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#SevenDaysOfPassionAndAction

(please bear with me, this is long) day 3:

passion: affordable housing and eradicating poverty.

why: I touched briefly on my period of homelessness, but even if I never was, it shouldn't be a privilege to be able to sleep inside.

how I act on it: so this one's tougher, because this is a legislative problem. fair housing laws protect you from being discriminated against on basis of race, religion, gender, or sexuality, but it in no way secures you housing if you are below, at, or just above the poverty line. and yes, there are housing assistance programs, but not everyone qualifies for them. I've been partnering with a local women's shelter to help with this root problem of not having affordable housing available, but also with the symptom of not having an address to put on job applications. I've been offering pro bono resume editing and letter writing services to the women there as well as in my neighborhood currently looking for employment, as well as offering my services as a makeup and hair enthusiast to them once they get interviews. that's really all I can do without a JD.. in my heart of hearts, I wish I could do more. (if anyone has any ideas, share them with me, please.)

what I've learned from it: there's a stigma that comes with homelessness and generally needing assistance that needs to be eradicated completely. again, if you missed that when I said it before: when I was homeless, I had two (2) jobs. two jobs that put me just above the poverty line, but not enough to get me into an apartment. THAT REASON ALONE is why I get angry when people say "just get a job!" it's never that simple, okay. I had two jobs (I’m never going to stop emphasizing the plurality of this. I, one sole woman, garnering two (2) incomes, was still struggling to find stable housing and working through 2 mental breakdowns and two physical ailments (my ulcers flared two times in 5 months, plus the ongoing problems with my right ankle). there are people with NO jobs who cannot work due to illness or disability, and they were struggling just the same as I was, catching the same denials for assistance, but for completely different reasons. I was denied section 8 or a housing voucher because I don't have children AND at the time, I had 2 jobs. being single with no dependents put me on a different scale of need, and thus, at a lower priority than someone with child(ren). even when it got to the most dire of straits and I thought I'd have to live in a shelter, I didn't qualify, because in the winter months, the priority is given to women with children. and to be quite frank, I would rather the children have somewhere to sleep indoors when I could, at the best, stay at a friends, and at the worst, sleep in the car.

you cannot save your way out of poverty. there is literally nothing more expensive than being poor. someone asked me "well where did all your money go?" and my honest response was "food, phone, gas, storage unit, and hotels." here's how that breaks down: — there's nowhere to cook or store food when you're homeless, so you spend a lot of money on small quantities of cheap takeout. ("maybe stop buying on frappuccinos!" is literally the most entitled thing I ever heard during that time. that one $4 tall chestnut praline frapp is not going to keep me from getting an apartment. please mind your business.) but cheap takeout isn’t really cheap, it’s more like $5-7/meal. that’s like $10-20/day, which is like $70-140/wk, which is approximately $280-560/month ON FOOD. and there’s not too much way around that. — you CANNOT let your phone get cut off when you're homeless and looking for a place. your phone is your first line of safety and defense. your phone is also how you find an apartment. your phone is also how landlords find you, as it's literally the only thing keeping you on the grid, and in places where there's only a 30-day turnaround on apartments (i.e. DC), if you miss a call/email from a property manager, you will lose the unit. — you drive literally everywhere to keep from loitering and drawing attention to yourself. as a single Black woman, looking like you're wandering makes you look suspicious, and "looking homeless" is inviting danger and harassment. I was blessed to have income, so I got a cheap 24-hr gym membership, and that was where I showered and napped (in the tanning rooms, bc they had doors that locked), and I had a 24hr gated storage unit not far from my gym where I stored interview clothes and the like. so I could park there when I just needed to wind down, or change really quickly, or whatever. (remember, looking homeless will not get you a job. grooming and upkeep were paramount to making it through. I also got REALLY good at doing my hair and making headwraps to clean up my look when I couldn’t afford a trim or it was too cold for a wash-n-go.) — my right ankle never really recovered from the two times I broke it, and as a result, when I’m in a seated position for too long, I lose circulation in it and it swells. if and when my ankle would swell beyond recognition, it would prevent me from standing, thus prevent me from working. so literally, to maintain my job, I’d have to get a hotel one or two times a month specifically so I could lay down and prop my foot up. DMV hotels are not cheap, even with a deal. you can easily spend a month's rent just trying to stay safe while you're homeless, and before you know it, there goes your security deposit. — moreover, I am single. I don’t have anyone to split bills with or carry me because I’m without. so many people in my life operate out of a place of “we” and I operate from a place of “me”, because, well… I don’t have anyone I can depend on in that way. that took a serious toll on my mental health, and that isolating feeling of having to tough it out by myself truly made me feel as though I was in 16ft hole with a 4ft ladder. I didn’t think anyone could help or understand me.. but bless God, I was so wrong.

when I would tell my friends this, they would be astonished. I was often met with "we never would have known!", but that's because I didn't talk about it, because I was ashamed. I thought being working poor and homeless was something that I'd done to myself, something that I deserved to have happen to me, something that I would honestly never be able to get myself out of. but I honestly and truly was very blessed that a) I had income, b) I worked for a company that provided me resources to keep me safe and at the very least mentally healthy while I was looking for a place, c) I had a colleague who let me stay with her rent free for 2 months without question, and later, d) a property manager and a landlord who believed in me and thought I needed a home to tell my story from. and once I realized that homelessness wasn’t a defining factor of my life, but just a shitty circumstance, it made busting out of it that much more feasible.

the last thing I learned- and this is most important- is that closed mouths/souls/minds do not get fed. no one gets out of this crap alone. once I realized that homelessness was not something I was going to be able to fight my way out of alone, I discovered that I had a pretty dope support system this entire time, and they were with me all along the way. and though they are few, I was made aware of some of the privileges I possess being a Black American Catholic woman with a strong network. nobody gets through life without the help of at least one stranger. my friends were strangers before they were my friends.. I never forget that we were all strangers until we said “hello”.

so to anyone reading this: you are not alone. I will not allow you to think that you are alone trying to get through a shitty situation. everyone’s story is different, and yours deserves to be respected and told with dignity and grace. and if you truly do need help, contact me, and I will do whatever I can to make sure you have the proper resources available to get back upright and on the road to your independence.

do not let your home insecurity snatch your dignity. do not let your home insecurity be the reason you allow someone to take your humanity. you are blessed far beyond your circumstance, and no one can ever stop what is Divinely ordained, no matter what.

I love y’all. stay safe out here.

#Day3 #SevenDaysOfPassionandAction

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joshuabradleyn · 8 years ago

Text

Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

“I’ve gained 15lbs and I CAN’T stop eating!”

That’s the text I received from a friend recently. She told me another friend asked — purely out of kindness and concern — if something terrible had happened because they noticed she had gained a decent amount of weight recently. This gain was after a check up where her doctor mentioned she needed to lose about 20 pounds. Eek!

This was the wake-up call she needed.

She was mortified, and while she knew things had gotten out of hand, the idea of trying to lose a total of 35 pounds seemed out of reach. A former Division I athlete, she couldn’t believe she was in this position at age 30.

I knew how she felt; I’ve been there (a few times)…well not the DI athlete part.

In college, I tore my ACL and meniscus. One surgery turned into two and a third all within a year. I gained at least 40 pounds in a few months. I’m 5-foot-6 and I weighed about 200 pounds (no, that wasn’t muscle weight). It was a tough moment. I can’t remember the exact number on the scale at the student health center that day. I knew it was a problem, and I didn’t feel together physically or emotionally.

“I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class.”

While that might not sound like a huge number, it was “crisis weight” for me. Pre-surgery I was active, working out daily and biking a ton, I weighed 150 pounds and thought I needed to lose 5 pounds (ha!) After surgery, my goal weight felt so far away — I would’ve been grateful to hit 160 — that my approach was, “what’s the point in trying?!”

I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class. I didn’t do any cardio. I hit up In N Out and then went directly to Krispy Kreme to top it off. I was eating my emotions.

I say this to illustrate that I know firsthand how weight can spiral. Quickly.

Getting out of that slump took years and a combination of logging my meals, making healthier choices, setting realistic goals, taking care of my body and upping my workout routine. I discovered I had more energy and felt better, which was empowering. Until I started feeling better, I didn’t realize I had forgotten what healthy felt like.

OK, back to my friend. I listened to her worries. She vented. We laughed. We came close to tears. Then we started troubleshooting.

Whether you are starting your weight loss journey, finding yourself in the middle of the struggle or working on maintenance, here are tips to keep you on track:

1. START NOW AND START SMALL

You gained weight…it’s a bummer, but you can’t harp on it: move forward. Stop saying “tomorrow will be the day I start.” Once you start you are closer to finishing. Most people love that post workout high, but the toughest part is starting that workout. On days I don’t want to work out, I tell myself to just do a little cardio. I get on the elliptical and push myself to the 5-minute mark, and I know I’m halfway there. Since I’m already in the gym and sweaty, it’s easier to talk myself into 10 minutes of strength moves, too. Some days 20–30 minutes is enough.

Apply the same philosophy to food and goal setting. Instead of focusing on the 80 total pounds you want to lose, put your energy towards the five pounds you can realistically lose in April.

The most exciting part is, if you’ve fallen off the wagon completely, taking a few small steps typically results in changes pretty quickly.

2. LOSE THE GUILT

It’s easy to feel ashamed, guilty and embarrassed if you’ve gained or regained weight. Weight gain happens, so shift your focus from the past and set your sights on the concrete actions you can take to move forward.

So quit beating yourself up over that cup of ice cream you ate late last night, instead focus on what you are going to do tonight. Have a banana, greek yogurt or string cheese on hand just in case that nighttime hunger strikes again.

Make attainable goals and celebrate yourself when you’ve hit a them – strive for progress, not perfection. If you are struggling with intense feelings of shame and guilt this next tip might be especially helpful.

3. CONSIDER HELP FROM THE PROS

Whether it’s a personal trainer, nutritionist, medical doctor or therapist, it can help to have someone holding you accountable. Depending on your situation, it can also help to sit down with a professional to unpack why you may have gained the weight in the first place and what you should be doing to make a change that sticks. If you have preexisting conditions, are trying to lose more than 100 pounds or have a BMI of 40 or greater, consulting a doctor ensures you are embarking on the plan that is best for your health.

For me, getting back on track after surgery required checking in with my physical therapist and surgeon about my game plan. It was important to learn what exercises were off limits for the moment and which I’d have to modify or avoid long term (I won’t be running any marathons or doing deep jump squats anytime soon and that’s ok).

4. MAKE A MEAL PLAN

It always helpful to plan out your meals when you first start to prevent you from falling back into old bad habits. Personally, I love to cook (plus, cooking at home saves money) and incorporate as many veggies as possible into every meal (even breakfast). If your schedule isn’t conducive to meal planning and getting groceries in advance, try a meal delivery service. My friend signed up for a paleo food delivery service to jumpstart her weight loss plan.

5. REACH OUT TO FRIENDS

Tell your family and friends you are working on your weight-loss goals. They may want to join you, and even do a challenge together. Your family can also create an environment that’s more hospitable to your goals by keeping junk food out of sight or better yet, not bringing into the home in the first place. Sometimes it just helps to have someone to vent to.

Today, I weigh around 165 pounds, have a a decent amount of muscle and feel better than ever about where my body is and what it can accomplish! I’m happy at this weight, which is bizarre, because according to the charts, I’m overweight (with a BMI of 26.6), but weight and BMI can only tell you so much. So I’ve released the power that number held over me. It would be great to lose a couple pounds just to ensure the long-term health of my knee, but I’m no longer obsessing about the number, and I’m embracing myself as I am. My weight still fluctuates (I’ve gained and lost countless pounds), but I’m more focused on how I actually feel and how far I’ve come. I’ve even embraced the athlete moniker, which has made my workouts more effective.

Weight gain happens and weight loss is hard work, so don’t give up or feel defeated if you are struggling: you’ve got this and you are not alone.

I can’t wait to hear from you. Have you ever looked up and suddenly gained more weight than you anticipated? What was your wakeup call? What did you do? And what are your tips for staying on track?

Better Than Ever

We all strive for wellness and to live better! Every month, this column will bring you advice on how to feel and perform Better Than Ever. Check out tips to improve various aspects of your health: everything from fitness, nutrition, sleep and recovery. Have a topic you want to hear about? Feel free to reach out here (I’ll be checking the comments!) or on Twitter or Instagram. I look forward to hearing from you!

The post Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track appeared first on Under Armour.

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#Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

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ruthellisneda · 8 years ago

Text

Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

“I’ve gained 15lbs and I CAN’T stop eating!”

This was the wake-up call she needed.

I knew how she felt; I’ve been there (a few times)…well not the DI athlete part.

“I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class.”

I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class. I didn’t do any cardio. I hit up In N Out and then went directly to Krispy Kreme to top it off. I was eating my emotions.

I say this to illustrate that I know firsthand how weight can spiral. Quickly.

OK, back to my friend. I listened to her worries. She vented. We laughed. We came close to tears. Then we started troubleshooting.

Whether you are starting your weight loss journey, finding yourself in the middle of the struggle or working on maintenance, here are tips to keep you on track:

1. START NOW AND START SMALL

Apply the same philosophy to food and goal setting. Instead of focusing on the 80 total pounds you want to lose, put your energy towards the five pounds you can realistically lose in April.

The most exciting part is, if you’ve fallen off the wagon completely, taking a few small steps typically results in changes pretty quickly.

2. LOSE THE GUILT

3. CONSIDER HELP FROM THE PROS

4. MAKE A MEAL PLAN

5. REACH OUT TO FRIENDS

Weight gain happens and weight loss is hard work, so don’t give up or feel defeated if you are struggling: you’ve got this and you are not alone.

I can’t wait to hear from you. Have you ever looked up and suddenly gained more weight than you anticipated? What was your wakeup call? What did you do? And what are your tips for staying on track?

Better Than Ever

The post Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2nUmerL

#Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

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albertcaldwellne · 8 years ago

Text

Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

“I’ve gained 15lbs and I CAN’T stop eating!”

This was the wake-up call she needed.

I knew how she felt; I’ve been there (a few times)…well not the DI athlete part.

“I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class.”

I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class. I didn’t do any cardio. I hit up In N Out and then went directly to Krispy Kreme to top it off. I was eating my emotions.

I say this to illustrate that I know firsthand how weight can spiral. Quickly.

OK, back to my friend. I listened to her worries. She vented. We laughed. We came close to tears. Then we started troubleshooting.

Whether you are starting your weight loss journey, finding yourself in the middle of the struggle or working on maintenance, here are tips to keep you on track:

1. START NOW AND START SMALL

Apply the same philosophy to food and goal setting. Instead of focusing on the 80 total pounds you want to lose, put your energy towards the five pounds you can realistically lose in April.

The most exciting part is, if you’ve fallen off the wagon completely, taking a few small steps typically results in changes pretty quickly.

2. LOSE THE GUILT

3. CONSIDER HELP FROM THE PROS

4. MAKE A MEAL PLAN

5. REACH OUT TO FRIENDS

Weight gain happens and weight loss is hard work, so don’t give up or feel defeated if you are struggling: you’ve got this and you are not alone.

I can’t wait to hear from you. Have you ever looked up and suddenly gained more weight than you anticipated? What was your wakeup call? What did you do? And what are your tips for staying on track?

Better Than Ever

The post Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2nUmerL

#Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

0 notes

johnclapperne · 8 years ago

Text

Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

“I’ve gained 15lbs and I CAN’T stop eating!”

This was the wake-up call she needed.

I knew how she felt; I’ve been there (a few times)…well not the DI athlete part.

“I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class.”

I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class. I didn’t do any cardio. I hit up In N Out and then went directly to Krispy Kreme to top it off. I was eating my emotions.

I say this to illustrate that I know firsthand how weight can spiral. Quickly.

OK, back to my friend. I listened to her worries. She vented. We laughed. We came close to tears. Then we started troubleshooting.

Whether you are starting your weight loss journey, finding yourself in the middle of the struggle or working on maintenance, here are tips to keep you on track:

1. START NOW AND START SMALL

Apply the same philosophy to food and goal setting. Instead of focusing on the 80 total pounds you want to lose, put your energy towards the five pounds you can realistically lose in April.

The most exciting part is, if you’ve fallen off the wagon completely, taking a few small steps typically results in changes pretty quickly.

2. LOSE THE GUILT

3. CONSIDER HELP FROM THE PROS

4. MAKE A MEAL PLAN

5. REACH OUT TO FRIENDS

Weight gain happens and weight loss is hard work, so don’t give up or feel defeated if you are struggling: you’ve got this and you are not alone.

I can’t wait to hear from you. Have you ever looked up and suddenly gained more weight than you anticipated? What was your wakeup call? What did you do? And what are your tips for staying on track?

Better Than Ever

The post Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2nUmerL

#Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

0 notes

neilmillerne · 8 years ago

Text

Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

“I’ve gained 15lbs and I CAN’T stop eating!”

This was the wake-up call she needed.

I knew how she felt; I’ve been there (a few times)…well not the DI athlete part.

“I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class.”

I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class. I didn’t do any cardio. I hit up In N Out and then went directly to Krispy Kreme to top it off. I was eating my emotions.

I say this to illustrate that I know firsthand how weight can spiral. Quickly.

OK, back to my friend. I listened to her worries. She vented. We laughed. We came close to tears. Then we started troubleshooting.

Whether you are starting your weight loss journey, finding yourself in the middle of the struggle or working on maintenance, here are tips to keep you on track:

1. START NOW AND START SMALL

Apply the same philosophy to food and goal setting. Instead of focusing on the 80 total pounds you want to lose, put your energy towards the five pounds you can realistically lose in April.

The most exciting part is, if you’ve fallen off the wagon completely, taking a few small steps typically results in changes pretty quickly.

2. LOSE THE GUILT

3. CONSIDER HELP FROM THE PROS

4. MAKE A MEAL PLAN

5. REACH OUT TO FRIENDS

Weight gain happens and weight loss is hard work, so don’t give up or feel defeated if you are struggling: you’ve got this and you are not alone.

I can’t wait to hear from you. Have you ever looked up and suddenly gained more weight than you anticipated? What was your wakeup call? What did you do? And what are your tips for staying on track?

Better Than Ever

The post Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2nUmerL

#Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

0 notes

almajonesnjna · 8 years ago

Text

Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

“I’ve gained 15lbs and I CAN’T stop eating!”

This was the wake-up call she needed.

I knew how she felt; I’ve been there (a few times)…well not the DI athlete part.

“I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class.”

I felt hopeless. I gave up. I took a golf cart just to get to class. I didn’t do any cardio. I hit up In N Out and then went directly to Krispy Kreme to top it off. I was eating my emotions.

I say this to illustrate that I know firsthand how weight can spiral. Quickly.

OK, back to my friend. I listened to her worries. She vented. We laughed. We came close to tears. Then we started troubleshooting.

Whether you are starting your weight loss journey, finding yourself in the middle of the struggle or working on maintenance, here are tips to keep you on track:

1. START NOW AND START SMALL

Apply the same philosophy to food and goal setting. Instead of focusing on the 80 total pounds you want to lose, put your energy towards the five pounds you can realistically lose in April.

The most exciting part is, if you’ve fallen off the wagon completely, taking a few small steps typically results in changes pretty quickly.

2. LOSE THE GUILT

3. CONSIDER HELP FROM THE PROS

4. MAKE A MEAL PLAN

5. REACH OUT TO FRIENDS

Weight gain happens and weight loss is hard work, so don’t give up or feel defeated if you are struggling: you’ve got this and you are not alone.

I can’t wait to hear from you. Have you ever looked up and suddenly gained more weight than you anticipated? What was your wakeup call? What did you do? And what are your tips for staying on track?

Better Than Ever

The post Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2nUmerL

#Ok. You Gained Weight. These 5 Tips Will Get You Back on Track

0 notes