#Promo Tour with cast of the Boys

[wilwheaton]

When you watch The Curse, you are watching two children who were abused and exploited daily during production. No adults protected us.

This was originally published on my blog in August, 2022.

I had a wonderful time at Steel City Comicon this weekend. It was my first time at this particular con, so I didn’t know there was such a huge contingent of horror fans, creators, and vendors who attend.

I love horror, and I was pretty psyched to be in the same place as John Carpenter and Tom Savini, across the street from the Dawn of the Dead mall. Pittsburgh feels like one of the places horror was invented, at least to me.

A number of these horror fans came to see me, and asked me to sign posters and other things from a movie my parents forced me to do when I was 13, called The Curse. I had to tell each of these people that I would not sign anything associated with that movie, because I was abused and exploited during production. The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.

I told this story in Still Just A Geek, and I’ve talked about it in some podcasts I did on the promo tour, but I’ve never put it out in public like this, in its entirety.

I suspect someone at the publisher would prefer I tease this and hope it drives book sales from people who want to read all of it, but I honestly don’t want to have another weekend like this one where everything is awesome, except the few times people who have no idea (and why should they) put that fucking poster in front of me, and all the fear, abandonment, and trauma come flooding back as I tell them that I won’t sign it, and why.

To their credit, each person was as horrified as they should have been, told me they had no idea (if they didn’t read my book why would they), and quickly put the poster away. They were all understanding. I am grateful for that.

But I really don’t need to tell this story over and over again, so here it is, with a child abuse and exploitation content warning, so I can just tell people to Google it.

After Stand by Me, everything changed. The attention from entertainment journalists, casting directors, and especially teen magazines came pouring in. The movie was a generational hit, beloved by critics and audiences alike, and every single one of us could pick anything to do next.

River’s parents and his agent got him Mosquito Coast, with Harrison Ford, as his next movie. I also auditioned for the role, but I knew even then that River was going to book the job. He was perfect, and I’d have to wait a little bit for my opportunity to come along.

I went on a lot of theatrical auditions after Stand by Me. I had tons of meetings with directors and the heads of casting at every major studio. It was all a very big deal, and I felt like we were all looking for something really special and amazing as my follow-up to Stand by Me.

At some point, a couple of producers contacted my agent with an offer to play one of the leads in an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out of Space.” The script was titled The Farm. (It would, of course, be changed when the film was released).

I read it. I did not like it. It was a shitty horror movie, and I saw that right away. It was the sort of thing you rented on Friday when the new release you wanted was already out of the store.

My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

I told my parents I didn’t like it and didn’t want to do it. I clearly recall thinking it was a piece of shit that would hurt my career.

It wasn’t the first thing that had come our way that I wanted to pass on, and every other time, it hadn’t been a very big deal.

Sidebar: I was cast in Twilight Zone: The Movie, in 1983. The film tells four stories, and I was cast as the kid who can wish people into cartoonland. It was a GREAT role, in a movie I still love. (Note that Twilight Zone had four directors. One of them got three people killed. The segment I was cast in was not that one. I mention this because too many people zero in on this to deflect from what this whole thing is actually about.)

But I was CONVINCED by my parochial school teacher that if I worked on The Twilight Zone, which she had determined was satanic, I would go to hell. (This woman and her bullshit played a big role in my conversion to atheism at a young age, but when she told me that, I was all-in on the supernatural story they taught us in religion class.) I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been to that point in my life, I cried and wailed and begged my parents to not make me do the movie. And I never told them why, because I was afraid my dad would laugh at me for being weak and afraid. My agent tried to talk me into it, and I wouldn’t budge. It’s the only thing I deeply and truly regret passing on, and I really hate I made that choice for such a stupid reason.

Okay. Back to The Curse.

This time, when I told them how much I hated it, they wouldn’t listen to me. My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

That is, until they made me take a meeting with the producers of the movie, in their giant conference room on the top floor of a tall building in Hollywood. All I remember about this place was that it was huge; the table was way too big for the five of us who spread around it, and there were floor-to-ceiling windows on three of the walls, but the room was still dark. There was a weird optical illusion in the center of the table, this thing they sold in the Sharper Image catalog, made from two reflective dishes with a hole in the top of one. You placed an object in the bottom of the bottom dish, and it made it look like that object was floating above the whole thing. They had a plastic spider in it. What a strange detail for me to remember, but it’s as clear in my memory as if I were sitting in that room right now.

One man, who I presumed was the executive producer, was European or Middle Eastern (I didn’t know the difference then, he was just Not Like People I Knew), and I was instantly afraid of him. He was intimidating, and seemed like a person who got what he wanted.

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

I don’t remember what they said to me in their pitch or anything other than how uncomfortable and anxious I was to even be in that room. I tried so hard to be grown up and mature, but I — and my parents — was way out of my depth. I’d done one big movie and that was it. We didn’t have my agent with us, who had lots of experience and would have known what questions to ask.

No, in place of my experienced agent, my mother had decided she was going to be my manager, and she tackled the responsibility with an enthusiasm that was only matched by her absolute incompetence and inability to go toe-to-toe with producers the way my agent did. She was outwitted, out-thought, and outmaneuvered at every turn.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

At some point, this man, who is represented in my memory by big Jim Jones sunglasses under dark hair above an open collar, said, “We are offering you a hundred thousand dollars and round-trip travel for your whole family. We will cast your sister, Amy, to play your sister in the movie.”

It all made sense, now. I was only thirteen, but I knew my parents were pushing me so hard because this company was offering me — them, really — more money than I’d ever imagined I’d earn in my life, much less a single job.

I knew that the right thing to do, the smart thing to do, was to say no. There would be other opportunities, and it was stupid to cash myself out of feature films for what I thought was, in the grand scheme of things, not very much money.

It’s incredible to me that I knew all of this. It’s incredible to me that I could see all these things, plainly and clearly, and my parents couldn’t (or, more likely, chose not to).

So after this man made his offer, all the adults in the room ganged up on me, selling me HARD on this movie.

My mother said, “Don’t you want your sister to have the same opportunities you’ve had? Wouldn’t it be fun and exciting to go to Rome? Think of all the history!”

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

I don’t think about this very often, because it’s super upsetting to me. Right now, I’m so angry at my parents for subjecting me and my sister to this entire experience. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In that moment, I felt bullied and trapped. All these adults were talking to me at the same time, and I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to go home and get out of this room. I just wanted to go be a kid, so I did what I’d learned to do to survive: I gave in and did what my parents wanted.

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

But here’s the thing: when you watch The Curse, you are watching two children, me and my sister, who were abused on a daily basis. The production did not follow a single labor law. They worked us for twelve hours a day, on multiple film units (while I work on First unit, second unit sets up and waits for me. When I should get a break to rest, they send me to Second unit, then to Third unit, then back to First unit. I was 13.) without any breaks, five days a week. I was exhausted the entire time. I was inappropriately touched by two different adults during production. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared and ashamed, and I felt so unsupported, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me, and my mother would blame me. Anything to keep the production happy, that’s what she did. That was more important to her than the health and safety of her children. The director was coked out of his mind most of the time, incompetent, and so busy fucking or trying to fuck one of the women in the cast, he was worse than useless. He was a fading actor who was cosplaying as a director, as in over his head as my mother. My sister and I were never safe. Instead of harmless atmospheric SFX smoke, they set hay on fire in barrels and blew actual smoke onto the set. They took buckets of talc, broken wood, bits of wallpaper and plaster, and threw it into my face during a scene inside the collapsing house. My sister is in a scene where she goes to get eggs from some chickens, and they attack her. So they hired Lucio Fulci, the Italian horror master, to direct her sequence. His idea, which everyone was totally on board with, was to throw chickens at my sister. Live chickens, live roosters, live birds. Just throw them at a nine-year-old girl. Oh, and then tie them to her arms and legs so they’ll peck her. All of this happened under my mother’s observation, and with her full participation.

Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

If just ONE of the things I can remember happened to someone I loved, I would have grabbed my kids, gone to the airport, and flown home. Fuck those abusive assholes in the production. Let the lawyers sort it all out. Nobody hurts my children and gets away with it.

My mom says she “had some talks” with the producers. She claims that, once, she wouldn’t let us leave the hotel. (God, what a fucking dump that place was. It was just slightly better than a hostel.) I have no memory of that, but honestly the entire experience was so traumatic, I’ve blocked most of it out.

The movie was the commercial and critical failure I knew it would be. My parents spent the money. I don’t know what they spent it on. I got to keep fifteen cents of every dollar, so . . . yay?

My sister and I hardly ever talk about this. I suspect it was as upsetting and traumatic for her as it was for me. I told her I was writing about it, and asked her if she remembered anything. She told me she’d been lied to her whole life about this movie. Our mother let her believe she had been cast on the strength of her audition. “I was excited to work with you,” she said. She reminded me about some stuff I’d blocked out, including a scene where my character’s older brother (played by an actor named Malcolm Danare, who was kind and gentle, and made both of us feel safer when he was around) shoves my character into a pile of cow shit. When it came time to shoot the scene, the mud they’d put together to be the cow shit looked an awful lot like cow shit. When Malcolm pushed me into it, we all found out it was real cow shit. I was FURIOUS. The director had lied to me and had allowed me to have my entire body shoved into an actual pile of actual cow shit. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember he treated me the exact same way my father did whenever I got upset: he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive, reminded me that he was the director and he wanted to get a “real” performance out of me, and concluded, “If it bothers you so much, we’ll get you a hepatitis shot,” before he walked away.

My sister also recalled that, after she survived the scene with the chickens, it was the producers’ idea to give her one as a pet.

Okay, let’s unpack that for a quick second: you’ve been traumatized by these birds, so we’re going to give you one as a pet. That you’ll somehow keep in your hotel, and then will somehow get back to America. It will shock you to learn that neither of those things happened.

She remembered, as I do, the huge fight I had with my parents in our kitchen, where I told them I hated the script and I hated the movie. I didn’t want to do it, and I hated that they were making me do it.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

“This is the only film you are being offered,” my mother lied to me. She made me feel like, if I didn’t do this movie, I would never do another movie again in my life. I had to do this movie. As my father bellowed, I had no choice.

Both of my parents denied this argument ever happened. Can I tell you how reassuring it is to know that my sister, who was also there, remembers it the same way I do?

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them.

But one thing she told me, the thing I did not know, the thing that makes me so angry I want to break things, actually managed to make the entire experience even worse than I remembered it.

There’s a scene after her chicken incident where I check up on her in her bedroom. She’s got cuts and bruises, and I guess we talk about it. I don’t remember and I can’t watch the movie because I’m terrified it will give me a PTSD flashback (I’ve had one of those and I recommend avoiding it). Here’s the thing about that scene: she has some cuts on her face, and those cuts are real. They are not makeup.

I’m going to repeat that. My nine-year-old little sister had actual cuts on her face that were placed there by an adult, on purpose.

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them. My sister told me our mother wasn’t in the makeup room when this happened — honestly, it seemed like our mother was strangely and conveniently absent when most of the really terrible things happened to us on the set — and when my sister told her what they’d done, she “lost her shit” at the production. She was pissed, I guess, which is appropriate and surprising. I wonder what would have to have happened for her to put us on a plane and get us home to safety? I mean, her son being abused daily didn’t do it, and her daughter being CUT IN THE FACE ON PURPOSE didn’t do it.

I just . . . I can’t. I can’t understand or comprehend allowing your own children to be physically and emotionally abused. They were literally selling my sister and me to these people, like we were some kind of commodity.

This was a tough conversation. My sister’s experience with our parents is very different from mine. My sister and I love each other. We’re close. I know it’s hard for her to hear that her brother, who she loves, was so abused by her parents, who she also loves. I was really grateful she made the time to talk to me about it, and grateful the experience wasn’t as horrible for her as it was for me.

As we were finishing our call, Amy also remembered one man, a young Italian named Luka, who was our driver for the movie. I haven’t thought about him in thirty years, but I can see his face now. He was kind, he was friendly, he taught us how to kick a soccer ball, and in the middle of an abusive, torturous experience, he stood out as a kind and gentle man. I mention him because she remembered him, which made me remember him, and goddammit I want at least one small part of this thing to not be awful.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares.

Ultimately, as I predicted and feared, this piece of shit movie cashed me out of respectable films forever. I got offers for movies, but they were always mindless comedies or exploitative horror films. They were never the serious dramas I wanted to work in after Stand by Me. The industry looked at me and River, wondering if one or both of us would become a breakout star. They quickly saw that River was doing real acting work, and I was in this piece of shit. For River, Stand by Me was a beginning. For me, it would turn out to be pretty much everything, at least as far as film goes.

There are thousands of reasons film careers do and don’t take off. Maybe mine wouldn’t have taken off anyway. Clearly, it’s not where my life ended up, and I’m super okay with that now. But when all of this happened, it hurt and haunted me.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares. Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

This annotation is the last thing I wrote before I turned this manuscript in, because opening these wounds is hard and painful. I put it off as long as I could, and I feel like I’m still holding back, because just this small glimpse of the experience has taken me a week to write. I can’t imagine trying to go back and unpack the whole thing. (Note that is not in the book: I’ve made an EMDR appointment to work on this because the nightmares have come back after the weekend).

Fuck The Curse, and fuck every single person who exploited and hurt two beautiful children to make it. You all participated in child abuse, and you all knew better. Shame on all of you. I hope this follows you to the end of your life. I hope that living with what you did to innocent children has been as hard for you as it has been for me, because you deserve no less.

[daughterofcain-67]

{jυsт вεcαυsε ι ℓσvε үσυ}

Jensen Ackles x Female Reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Jensen had been busy but one day when he decides to surprise you just because he loves you. Simply meant for those who want to dance in the kitchen with your spouse for no reason, or go on old timey dates together.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: None~ Just a short little one shot with Jensen fluff. Jensen being a reassuring husband. Husband Jensen x Wife Reader.

Jensen had finished up filming a little promo as Soldier Boy for Gen V, the spin-off for The Boys. He was excited to play that role again since he had a lot of fun with the character on The Boys to begin with. It was a matter of days until the promo was released to the public.

Things were going well for him right now. He had even gotten some news that he would be touring around with Jared and the Supernatural cast again for some conventions and he was more than excited for that! He would be leaving in a couple of weeks for that.

But until then, he was staying busy with some other roles or promotions or whatever was going on with the brewery.

This afternoon, however, he finally had some time off. He told you that he was going to be busy all day making some plans and arrangements for going to the upcoming conventions, but he just wanted to surprise you. Especially since he married such a busy little bee.

While he spent his time filming and tending to the bar, you had a career of your own as a costume designer for musical artists and some bands whether its for their music videos or for what they would wear for their concerts. You had worked with Selena Gomez, Carrie Underwood, as well as Amy Lee from Evanescence, just to name a few individuals from some different genres of music.

He knew you had an eye for detail and that was one of the many things he loved about you. Amongst other traits you have of course.

So after his morning errands were done, he stopped by the store to pick up some surprises for you, which lead him to where he was now.

He was carrying in his little surprise when he opened the door to find you cleaning the kitchen listening to some music. When he looked at the tv since that's what you apparently decided to use, he saw that it was some song called 'How to be a Heartbreaker' by Marina and the Diamonds.

It sounded pretty upbeat and he chuckled to himself when he saw you dancing around to the chorus of this song while you were putting something away in the kitchen. He couldn't help the smile that was forming on his face.

You were adorable and he couldn't believe he actually married someone like you. There was never a moment when you couldn't light up his world.

He walked over to you when you didn't have anything in your hands, then he wrapped an arm around you from behind. In his hand was a bouquet of your favorite flowers just because.

"Now who's heart trying to break?" He asked.

You nearly jumped when you felt an arm wrap around you from behind but you smiled when you saw the flowers followed by the familiar voice of your husband.

You looked up at him and saw the grin on his face that made your heart flutter since the first day you met him. People have said that the honeymoon phase doesn't last that long but for you, it was unwavering. Sure there's disagreements and imperfections like any marriage, but you two were able to make it work and that was what mattered the most. You hoped that you two would have a long marriage.

“No one’s. The only heart I have is yours, and I’d like to keep it that way.” You heard Jensen chuckle before he leaned down and gave you a soft kiss on your lips.

When he pulled away you smiled when you looked at the flowers. You took them before you got out of his grasp, “Thank you for these, they’re beautiful! But I thought your day was booked.”

“Well, I said that but I may or may not have bent the truth a little.” Jensen replied while you were looking for a vase. Once you found one you placed the flowers inside and set them on the table.

“You’re free the rest of the day? That’s great! I know you needed some rest from your busy schedule.” You smiled before you walked towards him. He took one of your hands and twirled you around before pulling you into his chest, then he leaned down and kissed your shoulder.

“It is. I know that I’ll be gone for a while with the convention too. I wanted to spend as much time with you as I can, and today worked out perfectly.” You grinned at what he said and you heard the tv change to a slower song. You put on a random playlist on Spotify through your TV so it was a little unpredictable about what songs they’d play since you didn’t look before you clicked.

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” He smiled at what you said while he turned you around, placing a hand on your hip while keeping your other hands clasped together.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“Dancing with my beautiful bride in our kitchen.” He replied and you snickered as you two started dancing around to whatever the song was. Based off the tune you could hear throughout the house it sounded like it was ‘Two is Better than One’ by Boys Like Girls. Perhaps your Spotify account was favoring some early 2000’s music at the moment.

As the two of you danced, you placed your head on his chest, smiling softly to yourself. It was the moments like these you appreciated most. You knew he was busy, but it was little things like this that let you know Jensen still cared despite his busy schedule.

You remembered the very first time the both of you danced as a married couple on your wedding day. It was truly the happiest day of your life. Your wedding was in the spring and you had an outdoor ceremony. All of your friends and family members were happy for the both of you.

“What are you thinking about, Love?” Jensen asked and you hummed a little.

“Reminiscing about our wedding.” You admitted.

Once the song was over, Jensen looked down at you before he kissed the top of your head. Then he got an idea.

“Why don’t you get dressed in something a little warmer and we’ll go out tonight? It’s supposed to be chilly this evening and I don’t want you getting yourself sick.” He said. You agreed and he watched you go upstairs to your room so you could change.

Once you were dressed in something warmer the two of you left the house so you both could enjoy yourselves. It had been a while since. You had a little date night.

He took you to a nice Italian restaurant where the both of you ate dinner and you had some dessert there. After that, he ended up taking you to a movie. However, tonight was your lucky night!

Jensen had managed to find a drive-in movie theatre. You thought those were practically extinct by now! But it was a sweet surprise nonetheless. You’ve always wanted to go into a drive in theatre and it was surreal that you were finally able to go. You both were even in the iconic ‘67 Impala that Jensen got to keep after Supernatural ended.

Everything felt so perfect.

You and Jensen were unbuckled and you were huddled together. His arm was around your waist and your head was on his shoulder as you both were looking at the screen watching ‘The Wedding Planner’ with Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey.

You knew Jensen wasn’t overly fond of romantic movies, and neither were you necessarily but you did like watching some of J. Lo’s movies every once in a while and you didn’t recall seeing this movie.

“Not even two minutes into the movie and she already reminds me of you.” You could hear Jensen say and you snickered.

“Oh yeah? How’s that?”

“You seem to be a little bit of a perfectionist. A hard worker. Dedicated to your job. But you look much better in those little suits with those pencil skirts than Jennifer does.” He chuckled and you smiled at the last part.

“Well it’s not easy planning and designing what people are going to wear in front of millions, potentially trillions of people.” You reminded and he just grinned as he laid his head down on top of your own as you watched the movie.

You got to the part of the movie where the children’s doctor saved the wedding planner. How a meeting like that happened must’ve been more than random chance. It seemed like fate, then again so did a lot of scripts for romantic movies like this. But of course there was always that problem to make romantic movies a bit more complicated.

“Now that’s in poor taste… if you’re engaged, you shouldn’t go with another girl to the movies or dance with her in the rain. That is a sure fire way to mess with a woman’s heart.” You said.

“Well, they have to have some sort of plot twist for these movies ya know.” He reminded and you grinned and shook your head.

“Yeah I suppose you’re right.”

You two continued to watch the movie and saw that McConaughey’s character saved Lopez’s character not once but twice now. But of course there was always that argument between the two characters to create a little angst.

“I can’t imagine how many weddings she’s seen not work out. This poor bride is going to get her heart broken. She’s got the worst judgement.” You said and he hummed a little.

“Yeah.. the bride and groom seem to be so incredibly different. I get that opposites attract but this a little too much.” He said.

Watching the beginning of this movie you started to wonder about a few things.

“Jensen? Did you ever have doubts if we would work out? I mean, we both have busy schedules… what if one day we’re too busy for each other and what if what everyone says about the honeymoon phase ending and we just fall apart?”

Jensen looked down at you and frowned a little, “Where’s this coming from, Darlin’?”

“I don’t know… I just hear things about couples losing their spark and I don’t want that ever happening to us…”

Jensen shifted and cupped your face so you could look up at him.

“I’ve never had a single doubt about us. Not one.” He reassured as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “Yeah you and I have busy careers.. That’s a part of life.”

“But the fact that you’re even concerned about something like that happening, and the fact that you don’t want the spark to leave either means that you’re willing to fight for us if that time ever comes. Sure for some couples the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. But how do you think that couples married for over fifty years works out? They don’t let that spark ever fade even if it flickers from time to time.”

You gazed into his eyes and you could see the sincerity behind them. You smiled softly as you lifted your hand and caressed his face as he continued, “You’ve made me the happiest man on the planet the moment you said yes when I proposed to you. And I know that there is nothing you and I can’t do together. Our marriage will last a lifetime. I meant it when I said till death do we part.”

Your smile grew a little bigger when you remembered his vows that day. He looked so handsome standing there at the altar and you remember getting emotional when he said those vows that day.

“You’re right… No matter how busy we get, as long as we always make sure we take that time out for each other, as long as we fight for one another, as long as we love one another, then that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?” You said and he smiled.

“And I’ll love you forever and always.” He promised.

You leaned up and kissed him, and you could feel him smiling into the kiss causing your heart to flutter just like it did the very first time you kissed him.

Needless to say, this was a pretty good date night with your husband. He always knew what to say, and you knew everything he said was truthful. You knew that your marriage would last a life and you’d always be Mrs. Jensen Ackles.

Hey guys! I was just feeling like writing some soft Jensen content. Needed some fluff in my life. Hope this little one shot brightened your day and put a smile on your face! Love you all~

Tag List:

@roseblue373 @deans-spinster-witch @chriszgirl92

[manyfandomocs]

Big Time Rush OC Introductions

I was a ginormous fan of Big Time Rush when I was young so, I see people I follow making BTR ocs and I have no choice but to agree so after some struggles here we have (there will end up being others I'm sooooo sure of it I already have another fc in mind)

Montgomery Queen (Jeremy Shada FC), Carlos Garcia ship. Goes by Monty, he is the bassist and backup vocalist in his own band that he has been in since he was 14. As the youngest member of his band, he's the only one that lives at the Palm Woods, though he meets the boys late because he was on tour when they first moved in. He gets involved in the boys' shenanigans pretty quickly.

Serenity Meyer (Virginia Gardner FC), James Diamond ship. A former religious cult choir singer that, following her excommunication, has made her way to Los Angeles to be a singer. She's very new at most teenager things, and luckily Jo lets her live with her at the Palm Woods when she hears about her story, but the boys are very happy to help her figure out how to be a teen.

Juniper Poole (Olivia Rose Keegan FC), Kendall Knight ship. A child Broadway star, Juniper has always lived in New York City and that's where she was intending on always living. But then she gets cast in a movie, and her father/manager doesn't want to pass up the opportunity, so while she's filming and doing promo, she gets to stay at the Palm Woods. Which leads to her meeting the boys of Big Time Rush.

Vera Hewitt (Courtney Eaton FC), Logan Mitchell ship. Vera's one of the most well known young figure skaters around, bronze medalist two years in a row at the Olympics, gold at the Grand Prix more than she can count, there was not a name in sports that wasn't as known. Then she gets hurt. A bad fall leads to an early end and needing money for her family, cue sponsorship commercials and guest tv spots and moving to Los Angeles, where she met some hockey playing boys that may help her get back on the ice.

Gideon Gardner (Cameron Gellman FC), Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Carlos Garcia, and Logan Mitchell ship. Being from Minnesota, Gideon had grown up with the boys, playing hockey with them and having a good time when they hung out after games. Then, they got the opportunity of a lifetime and left. So Gideon was on his own, until his little sister got cast in some pre-teen show and they were moving to Los Angeles, coincidentally, to the Palm Woods, where he got to see the boys again and realize he's missed them much more than a normal friend would.

Tagging @daughter-of-melpomene because BTR!!

[darcytaylor]

As someone very interested in psychology and also someone who had realised that humans react to traumas and triggers in a very predictable pattern, Im very fascinated by Luke.

1. On one hand, we have Nic who praises his support, sensitivity and kindness at every turn. Other cast endorse her. We saw him being tender and loving with his ex. Jade also constantly kept praising him on how loving and considerate he was. We saw that kindness and considerate behaviour in the BTS and the promo tour. What we gather is a soft, tender and considerate human.

2. Then we also saw his hot boy summer, dating very young women, the total lack of care for the show, cast and crew that brought him so much fame, totally dropping the ball on promotion, not even being nice to the girl he claims to be his gf. The f boy basically.

Who is he? I personally believe its the first, because so many attest to that, we saw that behaviour on video. But then why the current act. He is definitely going through something? Whats it? Heart break? Insecurities? Why would he risk his career for any of it? I just couldn't make sense of it.

I think that he can be both? I think that humans can have multiple sides to them. One of the things that Nicola said in the most recent Bridgerton podcast was that it's okay to have different sides of yourself and that it doesn't negate either version of you.

“And then you can come home to the person you love and be super soft and be like, you know, I'm baby here today. Like that, you know, that's all fine. And you shouldn't have to hide one version of yourself or feel like one version of yourself negates the other because it doesn't.”

I know that in this instance she was talking about women in general, but I do think that the same applies to men as well. There can be multiple versions of any person. It all depends on where you are, who you are with, what you feel like on that day, what is going on in your life, what has happened in your life.

I think that the age old debate of whether people are good or evil kind of applies. It's a question that really doesn't have a definitive answer. I think that everybody has the ability to be both, so in the end everybody is both. Everybody has the ability to have good qualities and bad qualities at the same time.

But then Luke has the added pressure of being in the spotlight. Everything he does is looked at under a microscope. But that is the nature of his career, that is the nature of being a celebrity. Right now I think he may be at odds as to what he is wanting to present to the world, I think he may be trying to figure that out. It's impossible to know what is going on in his head.

I also keep coming back to people saying he is so much like his character (his cast mates saying this). And I think that the audience always take it as Colin's good qualities. But Colin as a character also has bad qualities, and his cast mates may also be seeing some of that (obviously they would never voice that out loud).

But I don't know Luke personally. I have no idea what kind of person he is. What he presents to the fans may not be who he actually is.

But they always say that when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

(I could probably continue to expand on this and go more in depth, but I have to head to work!)

[finnoahsource]

I hope they pair all the party boys up for pre show airing interviews bc it’s the last time and it’s been years since noah was included with the guys. no hate to millie but dnw another promo where noah is off with millie alone and not allowed to do any press with the others. it’s such a bummer and also totally irrelevant to his story line. i rlllly hope noah does most press with finn and gaten and caleb with a little bit of maya in there too and also give us a few all the cast together on fallon and stuff like the old days one last ti. s4 had too much cast splintering imo and was my least fave promo

yes definitely hoping it's a more fun press tour this time! something really making me perk up over finn specifically mentioning the original four in the bts video, and that early photo ross posted of their hands all in. if they're truly a prioritised dynamic this next season it'd be AMAZING - and great for views and marketing! - to have the boys together even just a few times.

definitely agree on noah and maya too, he and jamie could be very interesting too tbh? could see great discussion there. noah with the cast and being shown love by them is the big hope 🩵

[meraki-yao]

I would love interviews and promotional stuff as much as the next fan, but all that stuff is baked into the actors' contract, and unfortunately, the strike probably ran that time for promotional interviews out. With a potential sequel on the horizon and the demand for the two of them for interviews, the constant trending, etc it also wouldn't benefit Nick or Taylor as far as negotiating for higher paychecks for the sequel to do anything promoting rwrb besides some social media because they can use that as part of their asking price. I don't think we'll see the two of them do any interviews until the sequel (fingers crossed there is one), unfortunately. The strike really screwed the fanbase over as unintentional as that was. Silver lining is that like you said earlier I don't see amazon not giving them a sequel if at all possible given the success and there will probably be a huge promo tour for that. I really hope we see the two of them do the puppy interview with buzzfeed one day. It would be so adorable to see Taylor and Nick together with the puppies!

I... yeah I don't have much to add, Aside from this might be one of the more detailed and objective views on the matter I've personally seen

But I'm also wondering how many adjacent things can they do?

I'm more confident in us getting podcast episodes where they get to talk about RWRB, at the very least one with Tommy DiDario, since I think Podcasts are more from independent creators? Also I think I saw a while back conventions were asking fans if we wanted to invite the boys, so while I'm much less certain about that, there's that as well.

What about other related things? I'm not saying they definitely will do stuff, I'm just wondering what those potential things would be categorized as, because there are RWRB things that aren't "outdated" (can't think of a better word) as promo and interviews, and not as far in the future as a sequel. Stuff like let's say, DVD commentary, cast audiobook, what would those count as?

oh and HELL YES TO THE BOYS AND PUPPY INTERVIEW!!!!! THAT WOULD BE SUCH A DOPAMINE BOOST IT WOULD BE ADORABLE

[jechristine]

Two good roundtable discussions from critics about Challengers and Zendaya.

https://x.com/vulture/status/1784224020503707863?s=46

https://x.com/reeltalker/status/1783823205775343916?s=46

Thank you, Anon! There was so much in these two discussions. I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just go with two excerpts that touch on topics that have come up on my blog recently.

A.J.B.: It’s kind of weird for Challengers to have that white-boy line because it’s a movie that doesn’t actually give a shit about race. Do you think white people are comfortable with Black women’s actual, fully embodied anger? Of course not. It would turn to them. It is hard for me to look at her as an exalted actress who deserves all of this power because there are so many talented young Black actors who get one good role before their careers flatline. Look at the men in Moonlight, Trevante Rhodes and Ashton Sanders. Look at Anna Diop from Nikyatu Jusu’s film Nanny — that woman is amazing. I’m happy there’s a powerful Black actress, but the fact that Zendaya is pretty much the only younger one who has this kind of power is not a compliment to her but a diss toward Hollywood. If she was so instrumental in the casting of Challengers, it behooves us to ask, “Why are you surrounded by white people if you have the power not to be?”

**********

Taryn: Tashi sticks out like a sore thumb in this very white world. She’s obviously Black. There’s even a point during her party early on in the film when we see she has a Black dad. It sucks, however, that “Challengers” aims to be colorblind up until the last 20 minutes of the film when Tashi says, “I’m taking such good care of my little white boys.” What’s funny enough is that that line made its way into the trailer. If it was that important of a highlight to make it to the film’s promo, then why is race put on the back burner in the film?

Instead, the filmmakers put an emphasis on class. Tashi notes that she doesn’t have the financial privilege that led Art and Patrick to tennis. That’s fair to point out, but it’s lazy to not explore the other obvious factors impacting their relationship.

Candice: Honestly, I think it could be that neither Luca Guadagnino nor screenwriter Justin Kuritzkes, two white men, are equipped to handle any racial nuance. As we know, white filmmakers have historically been far more invested in themes of class than race. I also don’t think they have their Black audiences in mind either. I get the impression that they made a movie they thought was hot and cast a very popular Black star in a movie that would then exceedingly fetishize her through a white male lens. And that often made me uncomfortable.

[…]

A-ha, Taryn, I’m so glad you brought up that line about “taking care of my two little white boys.” It’s the only time in the movie where race is even brought up, and it seems so weird. Because part of the deal with colorblind casting is that race isn’t even supposed to be a concept, I thought. But then it’s brought up here and it’s like…. Um… OK? Seemed awkward to me.

[destinyc1020]

no offense I find that a little disingenous, like timothee named dropped zendaya during wonka I dont think b/c he was using her name to get people to watch wonka but just expressing his friendship with her like many actors have expressed how z influenced them it doesnt mean there riding on her name. Wonka was a success b/c its a kids movie, and was a perfect holiday film.

Z and timothee are stars like there are multiple "it boys" and "it girls" we gotta stop thinking anytime someone name drops it means there doing it for promo and regular novie goerd dont factor in that stuff when watching movie.

That is true... I've been hearing Timmy talk an lot A LOT of his Dune costars throughout his other press tours for other films...

I think he was just asked about Zendaya or Dune in general, and maybe he mentioned her. He might have even been asked who is one of his inspirations and mentioned her name.

It's not a big deal to me? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Austin was asked about Timmy and Dune during Bikeriders filming, and he gushed over Timmy. Like, it's not name-dropping for clout, it's just how you naturally speak when you really like your costar and you're friends?

And yea, most movie goers aren't even paying attention to press tours so closely like this tbh. Most just know a film is coming out, might see a few late night show interviews with the cast, and might even see some pics of the premiere on people.com or Twitter and keep it moving. They'll watch the movie because everyone is talking about it and they like the actors and the storyline.

MOST movie goers are NOT following a press tour as closely as we are lol....I guarantee you lol 😆

[sherrymagic]

there is going to be a press tour for we are, but their scheduling is horrible. there is going to be an insta live tomorrow, but they don’t have anything else lined up for the boys as of now despite the show being released in three days. i know it’s probably partly due to the whole win situation, because it initially was supposed to start airing from march 17th, but it’s still poor planning on gmmtv’s part

and tbh i did not expect them to pull it from youtube completely. if it is going to be behind a paywall there are definitely gonna be a lot less views than the show would’ve generated on youtube. i know 23.5 is also on netflix for some countries, but netflix is a different story because a lot of people already have a subscription for it while not a shitton of people will have an active iqiyi subscription

it kind of feels like they don’t want the show to be successful despite having at least two highly popular cps in their cast like what are you doing @ gmmtv

i truly hope this won’t become a trend with them putting shows on different platforms. i don’t care about them moving it afterwards like they did with simm or nomg, but i need my shows easily accessible on youtube while they’re airing, because i don’t want to spend a fortune on different streaming site subscriptions and a vpn

hi anon, sorry i only just saw this now!

so as you probably have read in the meantime it seems like the show will still air on yt for international fans but will be an iqiyi exclusive for thai audience, or at least that's what i've gathered. but the lack of promo schedules is truly astounding in this situation and i can't really understand what gmmtv is doing here

tbh even if they air it on yt as planned some things still feel strange here, such as the weekday slot and the apparent lack of intention of doing proper promotion. the vibe i'm getting so far is not good in general but i might be biased since in all honesty i am not much of a fan of gmmtv as a company for a few reasons, so i often have a hard time when it comes to giving them the benefit of the doubt

let's hope things just crossed with the lol event by accident and/or poor planning on their side and they have more in store for the future, otherwise it might mean you're right and this show could be getting some variant of the Cooking Crush treatment for unknown reasons. these pairings are pretty popular indeed and unless this is wrong information i have been told once by this thai girl i on tiktok that PondPhuwin are one of the biggest sellers when it comes to gmmtv pairings, and if that's the case i'd have a hard time believing the company would sabotage one of their shows willingly. but i gave up trying to understand the reasoning behind gmmtv's actions a long time ago.

agreed on the last part, whether it was just a misunderstaing this time or not i am starting to feel a bit worried about the amount of times platforms are being involved in new releases, it seems to have become a recurrent thing recently and apparently gmmtv is removing some of their successful shows from yt to move them to payed subscription apps, an information that i don't really know how i'm supposed to take. all i know is i'm not spending a penny over a subscription to watch live any show simply basing on a trailer and a few bts videos so i too hope these shows will remain easily accessible now as much as in the future

guess i got carried away too much with talking as usual ahjhsjaajd but this was fun, thanks dear anon for dropping by i always appreciate some good chit-chats! ♡♡

[jensenacklesfanx]

Jensen arriving at his hotel yesterday in Paris❤️

[regardingjenmish]

https://twitter.com/livelyackles/status/1591927426434596866?s=46&t=eWzqjUomLw7ipC8Y6E579g

when the boys cast went to their promo tour in brazil he mentioned her too.

Ohhhh. I was wondering which ex of his was brazilian jdjska

[cevans16]

Ask Her To Dance

Summary: You’re part of the Avengers during the Infinity War era, you and the cast have a final party in Greece

You had all recently finished filming Infinity War, traveling to Europe to start the promo tour, ending up in Greece. You played a military veteran who had started working for the Avengers, you had grown close to the entire cast, having a crush on Sebastian. Sebastian had always been a quiet one except when he was with you or Anthony Mackie. 

It was the last night after a ton of interviews, photoshoots, etc. Robert had suggested you all go out to a club to blow off some steam and as as last hoorah. So there you were in a midi skin-tight lavender summer dress and black high heels. Scarlett had done your makeup in a dark smokey eye look balancing the rest with a natural shade while Lizzie did your hair in voluminous curls, you looked sexy to say the least.

“Wow....you look wow, I’m not a lesbian but I would turn for you” Scarlett said once they took a final look at you. 

“What am I not hot before this look?” you teased

“Oh of course you are but now I can’t hold myself” she said smirking at you. 

While they were finishing up you heard someone knock on the hotel door, you went to open it to find the boys standing there, they didn’t say a word but their eyes looked like they were about to pop out. 

“Okay...where’s (Y/N) and what have you done to her?” Robert jokingly asked

“Stop! You guys coming in or what” you said stepping aside to allow them in

“I think they’re almost done, I’m going downstairs to get us a cab” you said.

You didn’t see that Mackie had elbowed Sebastian to go with you to the lobby. Sebastian blushed and shook his head, “Come on.....hey (Y/N) you shouldn’t go alone, Sebs here will accompany you” Mackie announced. 

You looked at him with a confusing look but didn’t ask any questions, at least not in front of the boys. “Okay...come on Sebastian”. 

“Ladies first” he motioned to you to walk inside the elevator first to head down

“Such a gentleman” you said. You leaned on the elevator wall, tapping your heel on the floor

“You look beautiful (Y/N)” Sebastian said in a soft whisper, you felt your cheeks heat up at him complimenting you

“Thank you, you look great as always” you replied, this time you saw him blush, he smiled scrunching in his nose in that adorable way that he always did when he got shy. 

You let the driver know that you would be down in about twenty more minutes. You and Sebastian headed back up to see if everyone else was almost ready. You walked in to the room with Scarlett and Lizzie finishing up the last of their makeup. You grabbed a mascara to touch up on your own eyelashes. 

“You ladies take forever” Chris Evans teased you three

“Okay then wait for us over there” you turned to say to him 

You kept eyeing Evans for a bit, he obviously caught onto your expression.

“Noooo whatever it is don’t” he said a little frightened

“Seriously, you two film a movie where you are a couple and now you act like a couple” Robert teased

Robert’s comment caused Sebastian’s heart to drop a little bit. He knew you and Chris Evans were only great friends but after seeing some of the footage of the Knives Out movie you and Chris played as a toxic couple, Sebastian couldn’t help but wonder if there could be something more between you and Chris.

“Oh stop no, its not like that but I do have an idea...well more of a favor” you said

“What?” Chris asked you

“Can I please put mascara on one of your eyelashes because yours are so long and I want to see what they look like with mascara!” you asked him excitedly

“What the fahck noooo” he said, his little Bostonian accent showing

“Please Chris, just one eye! I promise I’ll wipe it off.....please, I’ll drop on my knees to beg you” you pleaded

“Can you at least wait for all of us to leave, we don’t want to see that” Robert joked

“Shut it Downey” you said laughing, “Please Chris, I’ll give you ten bucks”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, mulling over the situation for a second. He couldn’t say no to you though, you had become such a great friend to him.

“Fine, just one damn eye that’s it” he said to you

You did a little jump of joy, walking over to him. He was on the end of the couch next to Sebastian. You set your knee between Sebastian and Chris who had scooted a bit over to give you some space. 

“Why am I letting you do this?” Chris said already regretting his choice

“Because you love me” you teased at him

“That I do” he immediately replied

Sebastian would be lying if he said that he wasn’t jealous at hearing Chris say that, or seeing you get along great with Chris, let alone seeing how close your face was to Chris’. He didn’t say anything, only intently looking at you place the mascara on Chris’ eyelashes. Mackie on the other hand could tell the little green monster was getting the best of Sebastian slowly but surely.

“Ohhh my gosh -CHRIS- this isn’t fair” you yelped seeing his eyelashes grow longer and darker

You glanced quickly over to Sebastian, he looked away instantly, a light blush on his cheeks. 

“Wait, you have long lashes too, not like Chris’ but--OKAY this isn’t fair, why do you boys get long lashes” you commented

“Yours are long too so stop whining” Chris said

You were still looking at Sebastian’s eyes, they were a beautiful shade of blue, you loved his eyes, this was the first time you were able to see them so upclose though. 

“Are you going to stare at him or can I wipe this damn makeup off?” Chris asked pulling you out of your trance. This time you felt yourself blush with Sebastian being the one to catch you.

“Sorry- yes Chris you can go now. Sebastian, would you let me put mascara on” you now asked him

“I’m sure he’d let you do anything to him” Mackie commented, earning a deathful glare from Sebastian

“It’s okay if you don’t want to” you immediately added

“Nahh let me see doll” he smiled at you, leaning his face closer to yours, you felt your breath hitch.

“YAY, okay look up just a little bit-oh wait hold on” you said, you put the mascara that you had in your hand behind your dress, you pulled out another one from your thigh, Sebastian was a little confused at the switch.

“Don’t say anything but I used waterproof mascara on Chris” you whispered giggling at your confession. 

“You’re bad” Sebastian replied chuckling at your little shenanigans, Chris was going to flip. And he sure did.

“Okay I’m almost don-” you were about to say

“(Y/N)!!!!!” you heard Chris yell for you, he came out of the bathroom followed by the girls who couldn’t stop laughing

“What?” you asked innocently

“Don’t ‘what’ me with those eyes, you put waterproof on didn’t you!?” he stated

“Noooo look” you said showing him the mascara you had in your hand

“That’s bullshit where is it!?” he yelled

You knew he wasn’t entirely pissed but he wasn’t too happy either

“Chris I don’t know what you’re talking about” you said trying to hide the smirk on your face

“I see it” Chris said at the mascara that was placed behind your back in your dress. Chris swiped it out quickly, almost shoving it in your face.

“I’ll get you back” he peered at you 

“Ohhh how scary” you said cackling at this point. Chris didn’t respond however he slightly shoved you towards Sebastian who caught you with his hands on your sides, both of you blushing immensely.

“Sorry” you both said at the same time. You could feel everyone else’s eyes on you and Sebastian. You got up from the couch walking over to get a makeup wipe remover

“You have nice eyelashes too Sebs.....actually your entire eyes....its not fair” you complimented him

“Thanks” he replied shyly.

He was about to take the wipe from your hands but you shook your head, reaching over to his face to wipe away the makeup

“Why does he get special treatment?” Chris asked, he knew exactly why.

“Shut it” you said

“I’m still going to get you back, this shit does not come off easily” Chris said complaining.

The girls were finally done, all of you doing one last check before heading out to the bar lounge which was a little far away from the hotel. 

After a twenty minute drive you arrived to your destination, you and the girls headed to the restroom while the guys got some drinks and headed over to the private section. The place wasn’t too crowded or crazy but there were enough people to give it a great atmosphere. It also overlooked part of Greece and the ocean, the warm humid weather being complemented with a nice breeze.

“So now that we’re done with the tour, maybe you should ask her out before you start filming here?” Mackie encouraged Sebastian.

“Ehhh I don’t know man, I don’t think she likes me” Sebastian replied shyly

“Oh don’t start with that, she is into you! She just doesn’t make it obvious, Scar told me that she thinks you’re cute sooo can’t be wrong, won’t hurt to ask” Mackie said. 

“Trust me she likes you” Chris added in with a wink at Sebastian. 

“Where did you go?” Hemsworth asked him

“I was getting payback” he smirked

Sebastian was going to ask Chris what he meant until he saw you and the girls walking over with your drinks.

“Man this place is beautiful!” You yelled over the music. 

“You’ve never been to Greece?” Lizzie asked you 

“Nah it’s my first time so be gentle” you joked, Sebastian almost spit out his drink

“Speaking of first times, how’s the movie for you two going?” Scarlett asked you and Chris, you both turned to look at each other

“Not bad actually, definitely more risqué than what I did in Vampire Diaries” you explained.

“Ohhh I may or may not have requested that song” Chris Evans confessed while drinking his beer

“What!! Why?!” you yelped

“Oh come on, you know people go crazy when they see you on the screen with that song playing” he smirked

He was right, there was a certain scene in the show you had done where your character is a newly turned vampire, almost dirty dancing with one of the bad boy vampires at a college party. 

“I swear everywhere I go they play that song” you added

“It’s not necessarily a bad thing” Evans said. 

“What show?” Sebastian asked curiously, he had heard about the show but never watched it. Sebastian’s comment added onto the fuel of everyone around you. 

“Out of all people, YOU for sure have to see it, she looks hot” Scarlett motioned over to you

“Scarrrr” you gritted through your teeth. Luckily you were saved by the song playing over the speakers, Feel So Close by Calvin Harris boomed over the place. 

The intro had you moving to the beat, you loved this song, it brought you great memories from when you were part of the Vampire Diaries show

Almost a minute into the song the DJ yelled, “We hear a certain vampire is in the building!! Give it up for (Y/N)!!!!!”

Sure enough they played that certain party scene on the big screen. You and your former costar Ian Somerhalder killing it as vampires dirty dancing.

You felt yourself blushing, embarrassed at the unwanted attention. You turned to Chris Evans who was laughing his ass off while recording your reaction and everyone else.

“Let’s see your famous vampire moves!” the DJ yelled into the microphone

You yelled over to Lizzie and Scarlett, “Too bad I don’t have my friend to dance with me”

You moved your hips stronger to the rhythm of the song, twirling, making the exact moves you did when you had done that certain episode. You were laughing, carefree, having fun almost forgetting about your embarrassment.

Sebastian was paying attention to both you and the scene playing, he had to watch this show he thought to himself. He always thought you were gorgeous but this scene seeing you with blood, fangs, dancing, turned him on more than anything. However he also wished he was the guy who had been dancing with you for that scene.

Your final move was another sway of your hips, in the show you had ran your finger on your costar’s face to wipe some blood, sucking on it. You did the exact same move to Scarlett who acted like she was fanning herself. The boys and Lizzie laughed at your move, the entire place going crazier.

When the song ended, you shoved Evans, “I hate you!!!” you yelled over to him

“Payback’s a bitch sweetheart” he laughed, you shook your head, “ahhh come on, you know that song brings you back to good old times” he added

“I hate to say it but you’re right” you agreed, the song reminded you of great times with your former castmates

“What about it? You and that guy dated” Sebastian asked curiously

“Ian...no he was dating someone else but he’s still a great friend of mine. We had such a blast filming that part, brings me very fun memories from when I did that show” you explained.

After Evans’ little stunt on you, you guys were all dancing around having a great time. 

The next song to come up was Gimme Gimme by ABBA causing you and the girls to go crazy, the boys only laughed enjoying your excitement.

You, Scarlett and Lizzie made a sandwich between each other, all dancing carefree. You all took turns lip syncing, twirling each other.

You yelling “GIMME GIMME GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!” with Scarlett and Lizzie doing a supposed back up dancing. 

Sebastian had never seen this side of you, at this moment he really wished you were his girlfriend because he really wanted to kiss you. 

“You should ask her to dance” Robert yelled over to him, motioning to you

Sebastian instantly shook his head, “I can’t...I don’t want to make it awkward plus she’s having fun” he added. 

“Suit yourself” Robert said walking away to get some water

You were all at the lounge for about another two hours, enjoying a night out with each other. 

One of the next songs was I Feel Love by Donna Summer

Sebastian wasn’t going to ask you to dance until he saw you were with Evans’ heading towards the dance floor besides Hemsworth and his wife Elsa dancing next to you and smiling at you both. 

You started to hold Evans’ left hand moving to the beat as it picked up both of you laughing about something. Sebastian looked at Mackie who was smirking at him, “You’ll regret it if you don’t” leaning in closer to Sebastian, “trust me though there’s nothing more going on between those two” he explained referring to you and Chris.

Like clockwork, Sebastian walked over to you and Evans, Lizzie and Scarlett noticed because they called Evans over to dance with them, you were about to follow when you heard Sebastian yell for you. 

“(Y/N), want to dance?” he said smiling shyly

You felt your heart skip a beat, you weren’t sure if it was a good idea because you knew your feelings for Sebastian would probably get worse but you decided to just live in the moment

“Sure!” you yelled, placing your hand onto his, he twirled you first and then you two were moving into a great rhythm to the song

You liked that Sebastian kept you close but still was respectful to your space, its not that you didn’t want to be grinding on him but you also wanted to respect Sebastian. 

At one point he pulled you in close to his face and said, “I really would like to kiss you (Y/N)” 

You looked up at him, you didn’t know what to say at first so you pulled his face down towards yours, playfully licking his nose with your tongue causing him to laugh

“What was that for?” he asked surprised at your action

“I’ve wanted to kiss you too Sebastian” you confessed

With that Sebastian then licked your nose with his tongue while he held your face with both of his hands and then he kissed you passionately. You two kissed each other like there was no tomorrow while still keeping to the beat of Donna Summer’s sultry song.

“Holy shit!!!!” Evans yelled over you two, “fucking finally!!!” he added while the rest of cast cheered you and Sebastian on.

Although the song is almost eight minutes long it felt like two with Sebastian. You two kept dancing, giving each other a few kisses here and there. 

At one point you were all back to your private section again. The final song was 34+35 by Ariana Grande 

“Oh-I love this song!” you yelled

“YOU, innocent (Y/N)?!” Mackie exclaimed

“It’s not that bad” you said defensively 

“Just give me them babieees” you sang loudly but looked at Scarlett, making a come here gesture for her to join you.

You kept singing the song, surprising everyone because you weren’t much into pop let alone a song about explicit sex. The girls joined in including Robert’s wife Susan and Elsa, Hemsworth’s wife.

Sebastian was mesmerized by you in so many ways it drove him crazy.

“Baby, you might need a side belt when I ride it” you acted like you put a seatbelt on, saying your hips like your were riding. 

“I’m living for this” Lizzie chuckled while dancing with you too

“Sebastian...look away” Evans’ said covering Sebastian’s eyes playfully

“Nooo leave him alone” Elsa laughed

After a while, you all started gathering your things to head back to the hotel. Sebastian grabbed your hand, kissing it and smiling at you.

“What” you asked him smiling back

“Nothing, well, would you like to uhm.... go out on a date with me?” he asked you a bit nervous

“I would love to Sebastian” you said

He scrunched his nose in a cute way that he always did when he got nervous or flustered. 

“I can’t wait” he said leaning over to give you a kiss on your forehead

“I told you to ask her to dance” Robert said smiling over at you both.

You were glad that Sebastian had listened.

[pop-punklouis]

when you say that boyband’s work on a shelf-life and theyre thought of as a cash crop what do you mean? that they’re only an object to the industry?

i mean, let’s break it down. boybands, more times than not, are curated by someone else. it isn’t exactly the boys that come together, find each other, and then start a career. usually, a higher up will pluck 4-5 boys from the crowd and put them in a group together expecting them to be puppets to their success. from the beginning, a boyband is fundamentally under the thumb of the industry due to their origins. then, of course, you have the image branding. these boys, at a young age, are given labels to be to sell records and garner favorites from the fans— which in turn gives more reason to sell more individual product with a certain boy on them. the boys will go through image training/publicity training, and besides putting on a character depending on their branding (zayn malik literally talked about how he couldn’t even really grow a beard in the band), they’re also walking on eggshells to present to the media in a way that is not only broad enough for most of the GP to favor them, but also to give just enough personality away that most of what one knows about them is either created in a boardroom or acts as surface level for fans to push their own attitudes onto them without compromising this carefully patched together image. this doesn’t mean these boys aren’t genuine in how they perform, but there is a lot of tightening of screws and pushing into molds at a young age that can fuck with them when carried out for long periods of time. it’s like appearing as yourself but mimicking someone else’s idea of who you ought to be. it’s the alien impersonator. it makes me think of NSYNC’s music video where they were all puppets on a string, being controlled by the omniscient puppet master. do i think that visual was pointed in makeup? not necessarily, but it is a good reference point for how i’m sure many boybands feel throughout their lifespan

then, you get into the lucrative amount of $$$ people are making off these groups. the global merchandise. the touring. the albums pumped out every 12 months. the chosen teams that surround the boys to keep them on track and keep them feeding into the machine as long as their contract permits. when the $$ begins raking in, that’s what the label begins to view you as. your expectation revolves around their bank accounts, and the more $$ you generate, the harder it is to have freedom and orchestrate a life outside of the spotlight that isn’t predominantly cast in the form of making more $$ for these companies. and these companies know that the pop-sphere only has a general attention span of 5-6 years before a revolving door of new talent comes in, so they’re even heavier handed with how they pump the content out knowing the shelf-life is waning, and there’s only a specific area of time they can milk them for what they are— using it as a justification for dehumanizing a group to line their own pockets.

and god forbid one of them tries to “mess” with that money. even if the intention isn’t malicious. take for example, Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys or Niall Horan. Brian had to get open heart surgery, and they pushed him back into a worldwide tour and promo cycle almost straight after. Niall Horan has had knee surgeries that were prolonged for long enough until they were mandatory and he was on crutches during promo stints. their health and well-being is on the back burner if it compromises their ability to be a cash crop. their agency is stripped to be objects to an industry who looks at them and instantly sees wealth. they walk in a room not as individual people but as a well-oiled machine, which can mess with how you think people view you outside of the group. “would these people speak with me if i wasn’t apart of this?” “would i be able to get into the studio with certain producers/song writers if i was on my own?” “would i have the same opportunities without this goliath presence on my back?” “will i always have that part of my life carried on my back, unable to pick apart if my own talents or my past talents is what’s given me the success i have now?” “is this image the only thing people see and use me for when i walk in a room now?” “what is success if it isn’t the success i had in the band?” a lot of identity issues are created in this isolated bubble, and it’s no wonder why any member of a boyband has insecurities and doubts when they leave that model, not knowing who they are or what they represent.

and finally, you have to take into consideration how tightly controlled their entire life is beyond just promo or images. their schedules are blocked months if not years in advance, not being able to have personal freedom unless it works around things that have already been confirmed for the group (i mean let’s example girl group little mix here. two of them were afraid of becoming pregnant when they did bc their schedules are confirmed ages in advance, and they thought they’d be scolded for it). their agency is gone. their independence is gone. their freedom of just existing is gone. they exist in relation to the label and their “handlers.” they have lives, and they can do things, but many of those things have to be worked through the system and approved. think about how isolating the 1D bubble was. almost none of them had gaggles of famous friends that weren’t also there to sell a certain image of the group. they were contained for most of their youth to just those five boys. from 16+, their teen years and growth into adulthood was centered around this bubble mentality. they were stunted, and you can see the affects of that even now— years later.

so, i don’t blame these groups for taking indefinite breaks or disbanding altogether. that environment is toxic and erasing and superficial. it’s harmful. and i think it’s important to know this. because there’s no foul in loving boybands/girl groups and who they are, what their music sounds like, and what they represent to you. they’re a special type of celebrity that many connect with in different ways than they do individual artists. in ways, who they showed to you was genuine and loving and their friendships within the band cannot be faked. most times, they only have each other through the chaos of fame so they rely on themselves and their fans every night as their support beams so, don’t feel guilty or shameful for liking a band and supporting a band as you weren’t the ones who created this for them— it’s the age-old history of how the boyband model operates and tbh until it “breaks” i unfortunately don’t believe it’ll be fixed.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

OT4 Masterlist

Links Last Checked: April 27th, 2024

part two

Broken Love in the First Degree (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine T, 29k

Summary: (In which Calum is Michael's soulmate, but Michael isn't Calum's.)

busy begging the past to stay (ao3) - Woahsos

Summary: four times ashton realizes his boys have grown and the one time they show him they're still the same kids from before

End Times - @daydadahlias​​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) T, 3k

Summary: Things feel right.

How often in life does a person feel exactly where they should be?

Homecoming - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) T, 4k

Summary: Luke is an up and coming famous singer with quite a big following already. He's just gotten home from his six month tour, and he's reunited with his three non-famous boyfriends. Luke decides to take a big leap and come out with his three boyfriends.

i belong with you, you belong with me - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) T, 12k

Summary: Luke presents as an omega during their Youngblood promo. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, but the boys have his back in the end.

it's our destiny (you will see) (ao3) - rocketshiptospace T, 7k

Summary: or, ashton has three soulmates and not all of them have really come to terms with it

Lost Hearts (ao3) - CliffordAffliction E, 177k

Summary: Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael live in four different worlds in high school and each one of them is in love with someone who loves someone else. This can't possibly end well...or can it?

See the World Hanging Upside Down (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine M, 117k

Summary: (In which Ashton pines after Luke, who is already in a relationship, and Luke really wants Ashton to meet Michael and Calum.)

This Is Our Fate, I'm Yours (and Yours and Yours) (ao3) - therjolras T, 59k

Summary: Ashton doesn't want a soulmate. Ashton doesn't want any soulmates, let alone more than one. That's what's set up for him, after all, written into his skin by destiny. But one early morning he sees a boy on a bus, and the weeks following bring change: the boy on the radio feels like home, and Ashton's troublesome roommate may be bringing home with him.

Together (ao3) - FayeHunter T, 2k

Summary: Luke just wants to spend some time with his boyfriends, but distance sucks.

Touchy - @daydadahlias​​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) T, 7k

Summary: Ashton has eye surgery and the boys take care of him.

we could work it all out (tell me where it hurts most) (ao3) - jbhmalum T, 11k

Summary: 3 times Michael takes care of his boyfriends when they need it and 1 time they take care of him.

your arms around me feel like home (i’m homesick) (ao3) - nothingliketherain (39_killer_queen) T, 5k

Summary: Calum wants a hug. Too bad none of his boyfriends are home to give him one.

you're spaced out on sensation (ao3) - Woahsos

Summary: michael falls for the local theatre cast of rocky horror

[myheartissetinmotion]

hoo boy do I have THOUGHTS

first of all, I really hope the finale isn’t made completely about the triangle-the promo may have been misleading to keep people buzzing; I trust the show enough to trust that they won’t hurt Simon and Rose along with the agency of Zoey and Max as characters simply to make them endgame bc so much has been built up and growing over the back half of s2-also Zimon deserves a real chance beyond a few honeymooning episodes, they could have a really good relationship if there was time to bring more honesty there. Having read the post-ep interviews, I have more hope for how they’ll handle this; all of these characters are people

now that that’s been said: THIS EPISODE WAS FANTASTIC OH MY GOD

I legit enjoyed it so much help

I am never going to get over the constant wonka references in DMD’s character given that Noah played him in the national tour-the writers really said “well we already know he can sing it” and I respect that sm; this character is positively fascinating

speaking of references, the jurassic park one was fabulous, although there is only one person in this cast who truly owns that line and it ain’t skylar (insert born to be wild soundbite here)

what an episode to air on mother’s day-dream a little dream of me was UNCALLED FOR and I WOULD LIKE TO FILE FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE but also it’s so heartfelt and real and Mitch and Maggie are the true relationship goals of this show

speaking of relationships, I almost didn’t realize until now how much I love Zoey and Max’s earlier dynamic; we haven’t really seen that since the pilot and I am just obsessed with their friendship-all of the little moments were just perfection and I’m reminded of why I was so hardcore team Max at the beginning of the series

when she was lowkey caught off guard by the thinking out loud serenade and serving some serious hearteyes…me too, girl, me too

SPEAKING OF. that duet was LEGITIMATELY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED ON TELEVISION. the spontaneous harmonies sent me into the next dimension-they’re so EXTRA and I LOVE THEM

the way that everyone somehow manages to still look so good with their hair Like That™️ is truly a testament to how freakin gorgeous this whole cast is

I have to dedicate a whole bullet point to the manbun and Leifolas because it’s literally iconic

I’m so intrigued about Zoey’s early relationship with Leif-they seemed to be the beginning of a legit friendship at first and in the pilot as well

also Tobin and his emo look did not get nearly enough screen time (can these episodes just never end please and thank you there’s so much to be explored)

I have genuinely missed Mitch so much and it was an indescribable experience to see him as his fullest self

I am literally never going to stop talking about Mitch and Maggie and that relationship

Zoey is incredibly relatable in this episode, both past and present, in that reality is finally starting to hit her and not everything works out; in my life at the moment I am feeling that *hard* although it’s in different ways

in this house we appreciate Tony

I’ve never been driven by Uber but if I was I’d want Mo to be my driver (and now I want to see the next time they meet; I wonder if they remember each other-god I love that relationship)

I hope no one comes away from this with the implication that Zoey couldn’t have gotten the job on her own; DMD just didn’t see her work on it and maybe it was due to a dash of misogyny as well

DAVID AND EMILY. god I am a SUCKER for backstory of any kind and this episode DELIVERED

this episode really knew what it was doing with our emotions-from the packed lunch to that one shot where Mitch looked almost as he did with the PSP, there was not a dry eye tuned in to nbc tonight

I’m just not ready for this story to be over-there is so much more to be told and I desperately want to be part of it

[gxccistyless]

1-  “Are you ok? You sound like you’ve been gargling glass.” 3- “For once, this isn’t actually my fault.” 7- “I’m not going to like what you’re about to tell me.... am I?” He was almost five and a half thousand miles away in LA. In the last two weeks of his promo tour in the early hours of the morning he called. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to call, he would always do it on mornings when his schedule allowed. What was out of the ordinary however, was the way his voice sounded. His already deep and somewhat husky voice sounded lower and more rough. Something was off and although you knew how much he hated worrying you, you asked him anyway. “Harry... are you okay? You sound like.. Well like you’re been gargling glass”. You hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. “Is it that  obvious... fuck” this followed by ten odd seconds of silence “I’m fine love. Just a sore throat, I’m looking after myself, don’t worry, I’m fine I promise” but you did worry, and he knew that, he could practically hear your mind racing through the phone. “And before you even get any ideas love, no you don’t have to fly out here I can bloody well look after myself..” “When did you start feeling this way?” There’s a pause again, followed by a heavy sigh. He knew once you got wind of him being ill you would pepper him with questions which was why he had tried so hard to cover it up. “it’s only been a few days love, I promise I’m fine” “Harry.. you shouldn’t push yourself so much, you’re working yourself —” he cuts you off “too hard, I know I know. Look in two weeks I’ll be home, I’ve seen the doctor twice already love, I’m PROMISE I’m looking after myself... and you really really don’t need to come here”.

The two of you continue to converse until you have managed to get yourself out of bed and just about ready to shower, you make him promise that he’s going straight to bed and that if his feeling much the same or any worse tomorrow that he’ll cancel, he refuses to promise you that he’ll cancel but he hangs up the phone and you don’t hear from him again until the following day. He sounds better, he tells you he’s feeling better although you are still worried and half tempted to hop onto a flight after lunch, you give him the benefit of the doubt and once again you’re up and getting ready for work.  He doesn’t call you for another two days, you’re kind of relieved by this. Mostly because after falling down the stairs two days earlier you found yourself in the hospital getting x-rays and a cast put on. This time it was you trying to prevent him from getting on a plane and jetting his way right to you. You knew that eventually he would find out and naturally he would be on the first plane home, but the thought of him canceling his promo tour in the states just to fly home to look after you, when you could manage perfectly fine on your own, made you feel worse than not having him here did. It was 9am when he called, usually he was an hour earlier at least. “Why aren’t you out of bed? Shouldn’t you be heading to work already?” You take a deep breath in, you had already made a list of key points to share with him when he would inevitably begin to lose his mind at your news, “No, I’m not working today, I have two weeks off”. This throws him, he doesn’t remember you mentioning taking time off work, in actual fact he remembers you telling him how busy you were at work. “you took time off work? I thought you were busy?”   “I’m fine, but uh —” “i’m not going to to like what you’re about to tell me... am I?” You have two choices here, tell him the truth and ruin what little of his promo tour he has left, or brush him off, play it down and tell him later. You decide to go with the latter. “My boss just thought I’d be more productive working from home...” “oh okay, well I’ll let you get to work then, I should really get to sleep.. I have a 6am call time... I love you” “i love you Harry, sleep well my love”.

It was precisely 2.05pm when his name flashed across your phone screen. “Hellooooo my sleepy sunshine” “Hello Liar...” it had been all of five hours since you last spoke to him and somehow in that five hours you had managed to out yourself, you desperately wanted an açai bowl and even though you knew leaving the house meant that there was a risk you would be photographed, your  desire to eat outweighed your disinterest in having a fight with your boyfriend who was five and a half thousand miles away. “how.. what...who..” “you’re trending on twitter... and caption with the photo reads “Harry Styles girlfriend of four years sporting a broken arm in cast and sling as she braves the cold and snow to grab an açai bowl” “Harry—” “So do you want to tell me what happened now or shall we wait to have this discussion for when I land tomorrow?” “HARRY don’t you dare fly home, this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you I knew I JUST KNEW you would want to cancel promo and I can’t do that to you.. I just I -” you didn’t realise you were holding back tears and now here they were. You take a deep breath. “For once, this isn’t actually my fault, your stupid cat threw up in the hall at the top of the stairs and I didn’t see it and slipped and fell down the stairs... okay so maybe it is my fault and I know you tell me all the time to turn the light on in the hallway, I just forgot and I had my eyes closed and I wasn’t expecting to fall” there’s a long pause after you stop speaking, you check to see if the line is still connected, but then you hear him rustling in the background. “Harry...?” “I’ll be home tomorrow” “no Harry—” “I’m coming home to you..” “Harry just listen to —” “You could have killed yourself down those stairs —” “HARRY...” your breathing becomes laboured. Why does this boy never listen to you? “WILL YOU PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME.. I AM FINE.... I love you, I love that you want to look after me but I am a capable person and I can do it myself and if you come home, you’d be no help whatsoever AND if you cancel I won’t talk to you...”

He finds it ironic that just a couple of days ago you were begging him to cancel but now that the reasoning was you, you were begging him to stay. “Thats okay I didn’t plan to do a lot of talking...” you roll your eyes and then go in on one final attempt to keep him in the states “if you come home, you’re sleeping on the couch”  he hates the couch more than he hates being away from you. You know you’ve won the argument when he lets out a heavy sigh. “fine, but when I do het home you’ll have to really really reaaaaalllyyy apologise for lying to me”. “deal”.