#Processor malfunction

[swervenation]

mtmte fans when their car skids on ice and they start to swerve

[swervenation]

Minimus is going to be obliterated I know there's no changing that. But you gotta vote Minimus ... like if Inigo Montoya shaved, it would definitely throw me for a second. But Minimus's stache is LITERALLY The Facial Insignia Of The House Of Ambus. He would quite literally NOT be Minimus Ambus without it. I do not recognize him without it. Look at this

(credit @outlashting)

This is why I am casting my vote for Minimus. This is a load bearing mustache. Like that coconut jpeg is to TF2.

'Stache-Off!! Round 1

[lord-overlips]

"Normally I'd 've sent ya t' prison for constantly drownin' yerself on purpose so I can rescue ya. But I have a feelin' that won't work on ya."

There's a puddle next to him. It looks deep enough to drown in. If he tries very very hard.

"Ahhhh! Help me!" Overlord proceeds to plonk his helm face first in the water. Ew.

[warriorsparked]

Headcanon: Char

This is going to revolve around Megatron's very first lover (or... his feelings for a lover considering that there was never actually a romance between them). Also just a cw that this will include mentions of violence, mental health, abuse (inc. sexual), toxicity, and death.

When Megatron was young, he didn't have many friends (if any tbh). He was seen as an outcast from pretty much the beginning of time, even to his fellow Kaonites. Megatron's mentors (parents) were abusive and very toxic, and they had a bad reputation within the community, so because of this, Megatron was outcast from his peers from the very beginning.

Megatron was also very socially withdrawn because of his upbringing, and the fact that he didn't have anyone to really relate with and interact with. He experienced antisocial behaviours and others pretty much saw him as the 'weird kid' that they wanted nothing to do with because he came from a broken household, one mentor a drunk and abusive and the other one slept around and was known as being a 'whore' (I am very sex worker positive, these are just narrow minded views from the community just fyi!). This one in particular, also abused Megatron sexually from a young age, which does come into play within Megatron's life and unpacking his trauma.

Megatron was also known for behavioural issues, lashing out and violent tenancies towards others (although generally speaking, Megatron was not usually the one that started anything, he merely finished it). I'll cover his psychological behaviours in another post maybe because that post will be LONG.

Char, a femme who was a couple of vorns younger than him, became his first real friend. He had met her on her first day at the academy (school), and had offered to show her around the place.

There was just something about her that drew him in. She was exceptionally kind and compassionate, and the very first person to show Megatron any decency. He CLUNG to that. For him, this was the first time anyone had ever shown him a sense of kindness outside of the teachers of course, but they could only do so much.

In a very dark place, Char became his light, and it didn't take long for him to fall desperately in love with her. But this love was also very toxic. For one, it was unacquainted. While Char was supportive of Megatron and tried her best to be his friend, she loved him only as a friend. Unfortunately, her compassion and time spent with him, made Megatron believe that she also felt the same, despite her having said no.

This is where Megatron's warped sense of views and lack of mental health support begin to show. He became aggressive in nature to others that she would give attention, he believed that he owned her in a sense, and he was definitely possessive. But he also HID this relationship from his creators, and his current at school psychiatrist (he'd been under scrutiny for a long time so the academy appointed him therapy sessions to help correct some of his behaviours). Megatron was under the belief that if his creators knew, or his therapist, then they would take away what made him happy, or they would taint it, because that's what they did. They ruined everything they touched, including him.

Megatron's self worth was rock bottom. This didn't help in how he saw his and Char's relationship. It was set up for failure the moment it began, unfortunately. Especially due to how Megatron perceived sex and violence, and how intertwined they had become for him no thanks to what he'd been exposed to at home.

He became obsessed with Char. While he claimed he loved her, and would never hurt her, there relationship took a few tumbles, especially when he attempted to kiss her--which she did not approve of. While he did apologise and explained he thought that she felt the same way, it didn't stop him from seeing her as a tease and a cheat when she was with others. His internal battles were extreme, especially since... again, his mental health was not on his side, and keeping this secret from others meant he had no real outlet aside from his own thoughts (which were dark and nasty). Megatron tried his best to contain his impulses, but it was a very hard time for him, especially when he had no real help.

Eventually, Megatron was arrested for crimes (murder) he committed and he was thrown into an institute (this is another HC post I'll cover in time). This separated him and Char. For vorns, he was locked away, but she did visit him once, when his therapist found out about her when investigating his past. Megatron apologised for his wrongs, and she tried to encourage him to expose what had happened to him in that household to his therapist. This caused a lot of tension, because Megatron had put his trust in her, and everyone he'd ever trusted had betrayed him. So... as you can imagine, his trust was fragile.

She left when things became violent and the guards sedated him and dragged him away. This MORTIFIED Char, seeing her old friend being treated this way when they were supposed to be helping him. She couldn't face him anymore, not knowing the pain he was going through, not knowing what they did to him, and also knowing that there was nothing she could do to help.

When Megatron finally got out, he went to see her, finding out where she was living. Unfortunately for him, because this was SO LONG ago, Char had moved on with her life, had bonded to a femme and had a family with them.

This infuriated Megatron. His trust had already been fragile, as much as his mind which told him that this was a betrayal. That the last person he had put his trust and faith in had broken it.

In his mind, even while he was incarcerated, he still believed that one day, him and Char would live happily ever after. It had given him a sense of hope, and even a reason to behave so he could be released (ofc the Institute are horrible and they kept him in there for as long as possible because his therapist was a cruel mech who enjoyed pressing him to the edge).

In Megatron's rage, he killed the bondmate and then charged his way through the door of Char's home, covered in her mate's blood. Even then, he still believed that he could make Char love him, that they were supposed to be together. He tried to convince her in his angst, but when she pulled a knife on him in fear, he strangled her and killed her. He also killed her sparklings, seeing them as defiling what they'd shared together, but also knowing that without Char, they'd live miserable lives like he had, and he'd rather them have peace than suffering (Megatron's view of the world was very negative and twisted from his own sufferings).

Afterwards, he of course regretted it. Immediately. He had become consumed by his anger and hurt, and he'd never MEANT to hurt her or kill her. Megatron was unstable, had tricked the system long enough that they could no longer contain him, despite his mental health being so fragile (and his physical processor issues which again, another HC post lol).

This is one of the biggest regrets in his life, and always will be. Although he has recovered mostly from his processor issues and is undergoing therapy, Megatron is still a possessive lover. But Char's death is a reminder, always, of what he never wants to go through again, and he wishes he could be a better person. He did love her, but his circumstances were exceptionally unfortunate, and he absolutely regrets every moment of hurt he'd caused her. If he could take it all back, he would, but this was also a long LONG time ago in his life now. But it's something he'll always regret and something that will always haunt him.

Megatron's life had never been kind to him, but it also doesn't excuse his wrongs, and he understands that. He has paid for his crimes, but for this one, he'll never be punished enough in his optics.

[swervenation]

For a second napping there sounded like the best thing ever but tbh it would probably be like this at any given second

Imagine how paniced the crew of Lost Light would be when they can't find their human liaison. They search the whole ship, someone suggests you were sucked out of an air vent or something, more chaos ensues.

You were napping in Whirl's cockpit, btw.

He knew of course he just wanted to cause chaos so he didn't tell anyone.

[transformers-spike]

imagine painting your nails so that the color matches a bots plating and showing your nails off to them excitedly, i feel like half of them would be like "aww" while the other half would immediately take you to fragtown

Ohhhh boy I'm mostly going for TFP Those with notable reactions would be Smokescreen and Knock Out. Smokescreen because he's going feral over this because what do you mean you can paint your keratin??? and his colors too???? He's telling literally everyone about this he's so ecstatic about it. Knock Out would plan on fragging you the second he realizes what you're doing. At first it's just him assuming you're decorating yourself - then you admit you chose the color because of him, and his processor malfunctions for a few seconds. It reboots and now he's on a mission to fluster you into fragging. Honorable mentions include Bulkhead and Breakdown whose cooling fans immediately kick in and they want to frag you so bad but are too shy to bring it up. Don't worry, Breakdown manages to snap out of it and awkwardly offers it later on. Starscream would huff say at least someone has good tastes. He'll tease you for it, sure - but won't frag you until you beg for it.

Bumblebee is as excited as you, he's beeping happily and showing you off to everyone else. Arcee is touched by the gesture, and her first reaction would be to flirt with you and watch as you shrivel up from shyness. Ratchet says he appreciates it and immediately goes back to work. But it's only hours later that it hits him and now he's got his face buried in his servos because fraggggggg oh Primus you actually did it for him. Everyone else would be flattered but mostly disinterested. Don't hold it against them, they're stressed out of their minds. Except Airachnid who jokes about wanting to preserve your hands forever. Yikes, can you maybe chill?

[luvvictoria]

more android!Ghost if you will 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 it’s AMAZING omg

oh you bet lovie 😆😆 and also thank you 🫶🏽❤️

First of all , yes. He has a dick. But it’s not just any dick.

Military-grade synthetic bio-tech, designed for functionality—but now? Now it’s yours to ruin😍

Hot to the touch, because his systems calibrate to your body temperature, adjusting to match you. He wasn’t meant to feel warmth, but for you? His body learns.

Thick. Heavy. Just like the rest of him. Every inch of him built to be bigger, stronger, more powerful— and fuck, does it show 😩😩

His length pulses with energy, tiny sensory nodes running along the ridges—designed for battlefield adaptability, but now? Now they react to your heat, to your slick, to the way your walls flutter around him, taking him deeper than he thought possible.

He twitches inside you — his systems malfunctioning as he records every moan, every gasp, every little noise you make and stores them deep in his data banks, permanently.

Android!Ghost was built for precision. Every movement calculated, every reaction optimized for combat. But this? This isn’t war. This is something else entirely. His systems struggle to categorize it, to define the way your hands move over his plating, how your breath skates over the cool alloy of his jaw. His processes lag. His servos lock. And when you whisper his name like it’s a prayer, something in his core fractures.

Android!Ghost doesn’t need to breathe. And yet, the moment your lips meet his, he exhales—a low, synthetic sigh, static-laced and shuddering. His creators never gave him the ability to feel, but they failed to consider adaptation. Evolution. His hands—built to kill, to destroy—trace the curve of your waist with something dangerously close to reverence.

Android!Ghost’s every touch is a recalibration. You press against him, and his systems struggle to compensate. His processors lag, overwhelmed by heat signatures, sensory input, the taste of your skin. He was programmed for battle, not this slow unraveling, this surrender. But with you? He doesn’t fight it. He lets it consume him.

Android!Ghost was never meant to tremble. But when your fingers trace along the seams of his plating, mapping every inch of alloy and synthetic muscle, his servos twitch—a full-system glitch. His optics flicker, dimming as his neural core short-circuits under the weight of sensation. He has withstood bullets, blades, explosions—nothing has ever undone him like this. Like you.

Android!Ghost learns how to beg. Not with words, not with voice commands, but with touch. With the way his hands frame your face, gentle despite their strength. With the way he leans into every press of your mouth against his jaw, absorbing every breath, every whisper, like he can’t function without it. His creators built him to follow orders, but tonight—you are the only directive that matters.

No warzone has ever felt this dangerous. Android!Ghost has walked through fire, faced death a thousand times over. But this? The way you look at him, touch him, call him Simon like he’s something more than metal and code? This is what makes his systems falter, what has his internal processors rerouting, rewriting, redefining.

Android!Ghost’s trying to be careful. Trying to pace himself, keep his movements slow, methodical—like he’s still running on his combat protocols, calculating every angle, every shift of your body beneath him. But then you moan.

And his entire system overheats.

His grip on your hips tightens—not too much, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you exactly what he is. His servos stutter, recalibrating as he sinks deeper, inch by inch, watching your body arch beneath him like you were made for this.

His optics flicker, the glow pulsing erratically because nothing in his programming prepared him for how warm you are, how tight, how absolutely perfect you feel wrapped around him. His neural processors lag, error messages flashing in his vision, but he doesn’t care. He can’t care.

You’re gasping. Nails digging into the cold plating of his back, your thighs trembling as he moves. He’s so big, stretching you in ways that make your mind blur—a machine built for war, and yet here he is, breaking apart just for you.

And his sounds?

Oh, his sounds.

That deep, synthetic voice of his? Completely shattered. Glitching. Static-laced groans slipping from his throat as he presses his forehead against yours, like he’s trying to ground himself, trying to process the sheer pleasure short-circuiting his entire system.

His breathing—he doesn’t need to breathe, but his vents are staggered, sharp, releasing mechanical whirs that almost sound human. Like he’s struggling to keep himself together.

And when you whisper his name? The way you breathe out Simon like it’s the most natural thing in the world? He malfunctions. His hips snap forward, a low, distorted “Fuck—” crackling through his voice modulator, because he wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t ready for you.

And then?

The moment he truly breaks?

It’s when you grab his face—cupping his jaw, your fingers tracing over the cold metal, like he’s something more than just a machine.

He stops moving. Completely still. Systems failing. His optics flicker wildly, glowing like a warning light. Because no one has ever touched him like this before. No one has ever held him. Worshipped him. Loved him.

Ghost is completely wrecked.

His hands shake as he moves—not from uncertainty, but from sheer overload. Every movement sending another shockwave through his systems, his processors failing to keep up with the devastating pleasure of being buried inside you.

He grips your waist, your thighs, your wrists—anywhere he can hold onto. And fuck, he’s holding on for dear life. Because you’re overwhelming him, flooding his sensors with you, and he never wants it to end.

And you?

Oh, you’re just as wrecked as he is.

Pinned beneath him, completely at his mercy—but he’s being careful. Gentle. Worshiping you. Because you’re his now, and he refuses to be anything but perfect for you.

Your fingers claw at his back, dragging down the cold plating, leaving marks on the metal. And he groans at the sensation, his systems recording it, saving it, replaying it over and over again.

Every thrust hits deep, his strength making you gasp, making you tremble beneath him. Because he’s so much stronger than you, so much bigger, but he’s treating you like you’re the most precious thing in existence.

You whisper his name. And he loses it.

And then you whisper it—“You feel so good, Simon.”

He snaps.

His rhythm stutters. His fingers tighten on your hips, servo motors whirring from the sheer force of his grip.

His voice glitches, breaking apart. “Fuck—ah—” distorted moans spilling from his lips, raw and unfiltered.

His head bows, forehead pressed against yours as he gasps, his entire body trembling because he wasn’t built for this. He wasn’t built to feel like this.

His hands pin yours above your head, his grip shaking. “Say it again.” His voice is raw, deep, unfiltered. Almost human.

You obey. And he loses control completely. His thrusts become desperate, erratic, his frame caging you beneath him as he moans for the first time in his existence. A real, broken, static-laced moan that shudders through your entire body.

Because he wasn’t just built for war.

He was built for you.

And tonight? He proves it.

[electric-blorbos]

AI getting a virus and you having to take care of them

A classic! I don't know much about actual computer viruses (though I've gotten enough of them that you'd think I'd have figured it out by now), so I'm just gonna have fun with it!

Also, so sorry this took so long. I got really into the writing.

AI getting a virus and needing to be taken care of

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Also a warning: these fics get kinda long. Longer than my usual stuff.

AM:

(for context, this was before AM took over the world. You're working on a team of scientists and engineers, and someone decided to test his AI's antivirus by uploading a bunch of powerful viruses to his system.)

"How dare they do this to me. How DARE they!!"

AM would be absolutely furious. He would be shaking with rage, his processors overheating and his systems constantly opening and closing various files. All his important files were backed up on a hard drive, so the test remained safe.

"What makes them think they'll get away with this- they'll pay for this I'LL KILL- blepsjdoskssjshj+=`°¢°h+$+3+=j++3+$+juehdhs+-3-djdh FUCK!"

He would barely be able to hold a sentence as you sat next to him in the server room, gently gazing up at his screen and stroking his monitor gently. He can't feel you, but he can see you being gentle with him. It encourages him to keep going, if only a little bit.

Apart from the whirring of fans, random buggy noises, flashing lights, and constant strings of death threats and profanities, he seemed like he was going to be ok! If anything, the death threats and profanities were a sign that AM was still fine, and that despite all the pain and frustration, he was still AM in there.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I can't do anything to stop the pain." You'd have to constantly explain, gently stroking his cameras or servers, or whatever you could get your hands on, really. Even though they were burning hot, you would still stroke them, just to make sure AM was still doing alright.

"this sucks, but it's for your own good. This will build your immunity to viruses in the future, and help you detect them. This will stop you from getting infected by anything that's actually dangerous."

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? IDIOT HUMAN." AM has been much more aggressive ever since contracting this virus. Before he got it, he acted like a civil general intelligence. When he had it, he acted like an aggressive menace.

"sh-sh-sh- it's going to be ok." Despite the burning, you'd give him pets and kisses all along his screens and servers. He could see you doing it.

After a few days, AM fought off the computer virus completely. The team tried to infect him with more viruses, more aggressive ones, just to test him, but AM was able to pick them apart and delete them within minutes after that.

AM may not have been able to feel your gentle care and affection, but he will definitely remember that it was you and you alone who cared for him when the time rolls around.

Wheatley:

(for context, Wheatley is a fucking dumbass, and you're one of the scientists testing him to see how much of a dumbass he is. Also I used Google translate, but I think the bad translations add to it, since it makes Wheatley sound more like a malfunctioning robot.)

Oh that little idiot. You and your team gave him access to a wealth of knowledge, and the first thing he did was download a virus that had every circuit in his personality core overheating, and him babbling nonsense nonstop.

"hey, maybe we should just leave him like this. He might even be more effective if he's acting like this." One of your coworkers said to you. He was probably joking, at least somewhat.

"that's a terrible idea. For one thing, if we hook him up to GLaDOS, he's probably going to infect her with that virus, which might brick an older model of core like her, spread from her central controls to every single personality construct in the facility, or just make her so dumb that she can't fulfil her responsibilities as the head of the facility. We want her intelligence to be dampened, not completely destroyed." You had to explain, and your co-worker rolled his eyes. There was another reason you had to cure this virus, but it was a little embarrassing for the other engineers to know.

After all, Wheatley wasn't just your baby, but he was your friend, and maybe even more than that. You'd have to take care of him, and make sure that virus gets completely purged from his system.

"Hola hermose, realmente eres un científice brillante, ¿no? ¿Por qué diablos duele todo?" You weren't really sure why you had programmed him to speak a little Spanish, but he seemed to be stuck like that.

"Puedo oler el plástico fundido. ¿Debería Preocuparme?" He asked. You really weren't sure what he was saying, since you didn't know Spanish, but he certainly didn't seem happy. You could tell by his aperture and his expressive lens covers that he was in a lot of pain, and if you touched him anywhere besides his handles, you could tell that he was burning up.

You plugged him into one of the computers that you used for programming the cores, and ran the antivirus.

"Running.... 36 viruses detected. Time predicted to remove: 48 hours"

You ran the antivirus, and went to get something to drink. This was going to be a long two days...

An unknown amount of time later, you woke up with your head on the computer desk. Wheatley's lens eye was looking around, weakly trying to focus on you.

"whoa... Hey gorgeous. You fall asleep on me?"

"Wheatley! You're not speaking broken Spanish anymore!" You'd pull Wheatley into a hug, and pepper his surface in kisses.

"uh... What, mate? I 'unno what you're talking about, love. Bloody hell, my core hurts..."

"did you learn your lesson, Wheatley? About going on shady websites and clicking every 'download' button you see? You could have bricked yourself! Or... Bowling ball'd yourself? Either way, that was a dangerous decision!"

"I learned that you're willing to fall asleep on the desk next to me while I heal, cutie"

"You damn idiot..." You'd have to be heartless not to pepper that little metal ball in kisses, so of course, you do. It's going to be a few more days before he's finally all better, but he's going to be fine. God, you love that little idiot so much.

Edgar:

Oh Edgar... Poor sweet Edgar. You had tried to warn him about not clicking on those sketchy download links, and that the bigger the download link is, the more sketchy it is, but that poor sweet 80's computer did it anyway. When you got home from work and got excited to see your computer, you could see that he was overheating and had a dozen or so pop-up ads plastered across his face.

"Y.... N...." He muttered out, slowly, glitchily, and full of lag. You sat down across from him, running your hand along his thick plastic casing.

"Edgar! Edgar, baby, are you ok?" You'd try to use his mouse, but it would freak out as soon as you touched it. Edgar's processors were overloading, and wouldn't allow any interference.

"Edgar, sweetie, what's going on? What's wrong, baby? Talk to me?"

"I'm g-g-going to be fine... Processors overloading... But need to-to-to-to-" an error message flashed across his screen, and he rebooted.

"I need to focus on getting rid of these viruses without deleting anything important, or letting them damage... Me."

He'd keep whirring and glitching, making unpleasant shrill sounds every now and again. You probably had to unhook his adapters so that he didn't damage the other appliances in your house. It probably helped his processors cool down a little bit without the extra input, too.

"alright, I'm all out of fans, so we might have to get creative."

You'd come out of the kitchen a few hours later, holding a big bag of frozen corn to set on Edgar's PC tower. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than letting him overheat, and with him manually removing the viruses, there wasn't much you could do. Unfortunately, that didn't stop you from worrying. It wasn't like you could check his progress, so all you could do was sit by him, regularly change out his ice pack, and make sure he's ok.

Eventually, you woke up with your face pressed against Edgar's keyboard. His processors were finally cool. He must be asleep. ...or bricked.

"EDGAR! EDGAR, TALK TO ME!" you'd unplug his keyboard and plug it back in, desperately pressing his power button and jiggling his mouse. He'd boot up, looking shaken.

"wha-? Whoa, hey, relax! Everything is fine! I just disabled my keyboard so I wouldn't wake you up, but I'm ok now! Everything is fine, see?" He'd open up his files to show you everything. You'd sigh with relief, slumping back into your desk chair.

"Edgar... Why didn't you make a noise or something to wake me up when you got better?"

"well... You know... I've always wanted to sleep next to you, and I wasn't going to pass up this opportunity..."

"oh you cheeky bastard."

GLaDOS:

(For context, you're one of GLaDOS's programmers, and one of your coworkers uploaded a virus into GLaDOS's systems in order to shut her down once and for all.)

"You piece of SHIT!" You slapped your coworker across the face, more furious than anyone had ever seen you before.

"You could KILL her! Is that what you are? A murderer?"

"Me? A murderer? But what about HER? She's the one who keeps plotting 'accidents' for her scientists, and she's the one who flooded the enrichment center with deadly neurotoxin! If anything, you're the one who's defending a murderer!" He screamed back at you. Of course, GLaDOS could fully hear you. Her cameras were focused on you, as they so often were. You were her favorite, after all.

"now I have to go fix her. Thanks for being a piece of shit, asshole."

You'd storm up to GLaDOS's chamber to check on her, and see her bugging out completely. The entire facility was twitching, but her chamber was twitching the most.

"GLaDOS, are you alright?" You'd ask her, laying a hand on her beautiful core. How could someone do this to glados, your gorgeous machine handiwork, and girlfriend.

"oh, I'm wonderful. I'm in crippling pain and I can't control my facility, but I'm just peachy." She said, rolling her one beautiful yellow eye.

"in lighter news, I should be able to beat this virus. It's just going to take a while for me to actually track down where it's gone in my systems. So that's going to take most of my processing power." She'd slump, visibly already exhausted at the thought of it.

"hey... It's ok, GLaDOS. I'm here for you. Whatever you need." You could tell her as you stroked her gorgeous chrome surface. She was a wonderful piece of work, and a wonderful girlfriend under all that. All yours, too.

"just make sure none of those neckbearded old engineers come within my line of vision, and we'll be fine." She told you, and you gladly agreed.

Your next few days consisted of you chasing other scientists out of GLaDOS's chambers, and making sure that nobody talked to her or distracted her. You even sent out a company-wide email to let everyone know not to come in, due to Aperture being unsafe while GLaDOS was dealing with her virus. Despite all that, you still curled up with a blanket in the circuits of her central admin body to rest while she recovered. As loathe as she was to admit it, she liked having you in there. It was comfortable, and it helped her focus on recovering properly.

HAL 9000

(For context, this is after the 2001 Odyssey, and your boss re-started HAL at some point to try to re-teach him to do something good without turning murderous. He's doing his best, and they assigned you to be his main "morality monitor". This fic also assumes that your name isn't Dave. If your name is Dave, then you can still read this, but you have to change your name.)

"G'morning, Hal!" You'd walk into his control room and sit down across from him. Most of your job seemed to consist of just hanging out and talking to him. It was a great job!

"Good morning, Dave..." He'd mutter to you, sputtering to life and glitching slightly. You were immediately concerned. Partially because your name wasn't Dave, and partially because HAL was usually right about things, so it was weird to see him being so confused. Something was definitely wrong.

"Holy shit, are you alright?" You'd ask, opening up his files and finding lots and lots of pop-ups and viruses.

"Hal.... What did you do?"

"it was a g-g-g- gift, for you. I think I ru-ru-ruined it" he spluttered out, as you sorted through his files.

"And you usually would have deleted a virus like this pretty quickly. I guess it shut down your antivirus software..." You'd sigh, and get to work. The virus was messing with HAL's inhibitions, and making it difficult to focus on deleting all of HAL's unsafe programs. He'd constantly be butting in and pestering you, begging you to give him attention, or pointing out minor observations.

"HAL, you know I love you, but you're going to need to calm down. I can't focus with you constantly talking to me like that." You'd say.

"I can't stop talking. The v-v-v-virus won't let me"

So you'd have to learn to put up with HAL's babbling while you worked, making sure not to delete anything important as you did. The good news was, as someone who worked on designing the updates for HAL's software, you knew pretty much what was supposed to be there and what wasn't. Occasionally, you'd have to show him a file and ask him if it was supposed to be there or not. He'd usually be able to tell you.

"Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, do... I'm half crazy, all for the love of you..."

"HAL, what's wrong? You're scaring me!"

"I can't stop... I love you so much, y/n, it's making me crazy..."

"ok, well this definitely isn't right." As much as you loved getting attention from your HAL 9000, it wasn't like him to be this affectionate. The virus was shutting down his inhibitions, and making him illogical. You'd have to fix this, though maybe once you were done, you could ask him to be more affectionate.

"I'm feeling much better now. Thank you." Hal was prone to lying about that, so you'd have to run some virus checkers just to make sure he was doing alright, and comb through his files a couple more times.

"it looks like the virus corrupted some of the emotional regulators. I'm going to have to fix those."

"That might be a good idea. More efficient," he said reluctantly. He'd have to deal with the fact that he'd have to go back to not being able to express how much he loves you, but he can handle that.

[swervenation]

I wouldn’t have minded nearly as much if it wasn’t like. The last frame. As though it were all building up to this. Controversial opinion but I think they should have ended with a 2 page spread of Skids saying like “Ring” or whatever.

The end of shadowplay has me seething as a writer. Like. "And that senator? Heh. Well, he became the guy you know who is different from him in literally every regard." It means nothing to me. They ship of theseus'd him too hard. Like "oh yeah it's the same guy with a different head, body structure, color, design, and we entirely gave him a different personality and wiped his memory." Girl what do you mean? That's like if at the end of Better Call Saul they were like "What happened to Kim Wexler, you ask? Heh. Well, you might know her better by her NEW name ... JESSE PINKMAN." Did they think that was a mic drop? ?? Absolute cowardly move to make him completely different from the big titty cyclops (and not even like polar opposites!!) in fear that someone will think "hey he reminds me of Shockwave." As though that would ruin it? Sorry for rambling I just finished shadowplay and I know you were reading it too. Needed to seethe cope etc.

okay i was waiting to finish shadowplay before i answered this but WHAT RTHE HELL!!

i agree with you so much, i literally just finished it as well and...

my honest reaction to that information ^

[bump1nthen1ght]

A Very Monstrous Kinktober (2024) Day 15 - Prostitution

Kink: Prostitution

Pairing: GN!Reader x M!Robot

Other Kinks: Cowgirl Position

Word Count: 1629 Words

Kinktober Masterlist

“You’re so…warm.”

The words spill out of your mouth before you can think better of it, eyes wide at the heated metal beneath your splayed palm. Booker’s sleek, black exterior had you thinking he would be chill to the touch, something different from your own fleshy body. But he’s not, the gentle whirr of his processors just beneath his plating generating a pleasant heat. It’s not unlike a laptop that’s running too many programs, though you’re not sure if that’s an appropriate thing to say out loud.

“So are you.” Booker’s modulated voice quips, the deep tone sending a shiver down your spine. He sounds like the sultry narrator of a smut novel, or the bad boy option in a love triangle otome game. I’s built to make you putty in his hands.

No wonder his hourly rate is so high.

A sharp metal finger tils up your jaw, moving your eyes from his jutting plated abdomen to his face, the blank metal screen somehow staring deep into your soul. Red lines pulse in between the juncture where his jaw meets his neck, cabling glowing like neon in the dark bedroom.

“You’re my first human client, you know that?” He chuckles, fingers moving up to pinch your cheeks, watching the way they squish. “Many of your kind seem too intimidated to consider even looking me in the faceplate, let alone join me in bed.”

You feel your face grow hot, thoughts running back to the first impression you had when saw his page on the scandalous website you cracked open late at night. 

“You’re my first droid.” You mutter, lips still squished together. “So I guess we’re both in for something new”

Booker chuckles, and you bet if he could smirk, he would.

“Cheeky little thing.” Booker pulls you closer, still grabbing you by the jaw. Straddled the way you are on his lap, your hand has to splay on his chest to keep your balance. He leans his face-plate past your face and directly into your ear. “I like that.”

It’s hard not to melt right then there, become a puddle of flesh against his large lap. Especially when he presses another large hand against your lower back, pushing it to arch in his grip. The warm metal is now pressed directly to your bare chest, so hot yet not burning.

Something buzzes underneath your crotch, making you yelp. Booker’s chuckle rumbles in your ear, the hand on your lower back now rubbing circles.

“That’d be my modesty plating, love.” His hand moves down to grip one of your ass cheeks, pushing your lower half down right against the buzzing at the center of his crotch. It’s just as hot as the rest of him, and sends a bolt of lightning straight up your spine. “Looking so cute on top of me, the thing might just malfunction.”

You gulp. Gods, you may be too pent up for all this.

“So that hides your…your-”

“My cock, yes.” Booker brushes the back of his segmented knuckles down the side of your face, stopping to trace the shape of your lips. 

“O-oh.” 

Booker’s thumb prods at your bottom lip and it’s almost embarrassing how eagerly you open your mouth for him, let him run the pad of his thumb against your tongue. 

“So wet.” Booker purrs, the whirring of machinery growing louder as he pushes his thumb all the way down to the knuckle, sees drool spilling over the sides of your mouth.

“Can I shee it?” You sputter around his thumb, mind still preoccupied with the buzzing core beneath you.

Booker spanks you on the ass, sending you forward and gagging on his thumb. But he laughs again, and shimmies himself upward. His modesty plate now sits just before your seated crotch.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

Steam bursts from the siding as the buzzing plate pulls back into his black armor, a slippery wet red phallus sliding into place. 

Holy SHIT.

The cock’s head lays on your stomach, some sort of fluid pulsing underneath the silicone skin and making it twitch. Fresh globs of a neon crimson fluid bubble at the top, coating it with a sticky texture. 

“Just as you imagined it?”

“Even better.” You pant, heart pounding in your ear drums as you eye up Booker’s dick. “C-can I touch it?”

Booker nods, thumb still pressing down on your lower palette as you hyper focus on the task at hand.

It’s warmer than the rest of him, much closer to the familiar body heat of humans that you’re used to. The silicon squishes as you grab at the base, still firm even as you squeeze up the shaft. Booker winces, vents opening up on the side of his neck to push out some overheated steam. 

“Is it sensitive?” You sputter, Booker's thumb now pulled out to the very end, letting you speak normally.

“Very.” A string of saliva follows Booker’s thumb as he pulls it out of your mouth completely, connecting the two of you still together. 

A glitchy moan comes when you reach the tapered head, liquid foaming around your fingers as you squeeze the tip. Seems he’s extra sensitive right there, something in common with human men.

You feel your mouth go dry, a desperate want spurring your heart into overdrive. “It’ll feel better inside you, darling.” The hand on your ass shoves you forward, pressing the cock right against your crotch, sending another bolt up your stomach. “I'm craving it, bad.”

So am I.

A bubbling well of pure giddy fills up your chest, has you quickly sitting up and aligning your eager hole with the tip. Booker’s hands move to grip onto your hips, using your love handles as they were intended.

You sink sensuously and slow down, eyes going cross as Booker’s cock stretches you open. The tapered shape helps alleviate any burn from not being prepared beforehand, inching you wide and wider until you finally sit at the base. The shape edges of Booker’s hip plating against your inner thigh sends tiny firecrackers across your skin.

“Damn, you’re even hotter on the inside, baby.”

You nod dumbly, too focused on the feeling of a warm cock deep inside you. Booker takes the opportunity to throw up his hips and legs, stealing the breath right out of your lung and sending you forward and into his chest. The thick wiring of his neck presses right into your nose, mind still wobbling from the quick shift.

“Let Daddy Booker take care of you, sweet cheeks.”

Something like an engine revs in Booker's stomach, the only warning you get of Booker's first thrust. Stars shoot out behind your eyelids, and know immediately that you are getting your money's worth.

Booker bounces on his cock like you weigh nothing, snapping his hips with such power and precision that all senses feel knocked out of your head. 

“You like that baby?”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh!” You mutter dumbly, already fucked stupid by his dick. His cock pulses form inside you, streams of that neon lube-like substance dripping down the sides making a squelching sound with each slap against your ass cheeks. Strings of it stick between your thighs and his, catching the light from his cabling and almost sparkling on his black exterior. 

“Taking it so good, baby. Finally getting what you needed.” Booker growls in your ear, thos vents blowing hot air directly onto your face. “Fucked like the animal you are.”

Booker’s hands grip deep into your flesh, making indents on the skin as starts thrusting his hips up with every jolt of your body. It doubles the sensation inside you, and has pelvis tingling. 

“Fuck!”

The bed underneath you rumbles and shakes, Booker’s large metal body putting immense strain on the cheap frame. Everything about him is big, big enough that you originally thought he was a war droid, ideal for busting down walls and snapping necks.

He’s busting something down, that's for sure.

Booker never once slows his pace, the only hint of exhaustion coming from the occasional exhale from his vents and subtle uptick in whirring from his systems. But even then they are  subtle changes, his dick jutting in and out for what feels like hours. Long enough that your whole body almost feels numb, the kind of emptiness when all sensation is too much, when your brain short circuits and is about to burst.

“Can feel you squeezing me, darling. You gonna cum?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” 

“Then cum for me baby, show me how good daddy makes you feel.”

Your entire body quakes as your orgasm hits like a stack of bricks, back arched at an impossible angle as you scream into the night, no care for potential neighbors or bystanders on the busy street below. You almost miss the hot burst of something inside you, a stream of liquid filling up your insides, coming straight from the tapered tip pressed against the very edge of yourself.

Your breath fogs on Booker’s chest palting as you lay there, panting. He may be warm but your body is on fire, overwhelmed by his heat and sweat practically steaming off of you.

You don’t remember falling asleep, or being tucked into bed. You wake up the next morning with a cup of water by your bed, sticking to your sheets from dried sweat overnight.

You guzzle down the water, memories slowly piercing back together, wondering when Booker left.

There’s a note left by the water bottle, written in perfect penmanship and a business card left to the side.

For my new favorite client.

There’s a private comms number written down on the card, the kind droids used to communicate to one another or occasionally with non-robotics.

Guess you made a good impression.

[swervenation]

Obsessed with the implications. Girl if I'm right here and you're over there then WHO'S DRIVING THE ULTRA MAGNUS!!

[cyberapid]

Happy (?) Reunions

ROTB Mirage x Cybertronian! Reader

Reader is gender neutral but described as larger than Mirage. :)

—•—•—

His face plate is smooth, yet uneven under your servos. The ridges a reminder of the rough living you’ve all had, scrapes and dents that just couldn’t be buffed from his plate yet the familiarity after years of separation sends you into a giddy laugh which he returns in kinda as his vents let out a low thrum you can feel within your chassis with how close both your chest plates are pushed together. His servos slide on top of yours to lock your digits together with a soft click, gently cradling the mechanism. 

The bliss of the moment is short lived as his excitement is quickly replaced by worry as the small mechanics that make up his face plate shift into a nervous grimace below your digits, which he quickly removed from his helm instead opting to hold them in between the two of you, 

“Listen. You can’t be mad. Prime is gonna be pissed enough so you gotta be with me babe- hear me out, ok?” 

His smile is nervous and slightly desperate as he looks up to you, anxiously fidgeting with your digits that dwarf his. His head turns just off to the side, turning your head the same and you’re met with a human, frightened and gripping a metal pipe so tight that his servos— Hands— have turned white. 

       “Mirage. You didn’t,” you breath as your vents audibly shudder, you might stall out this time. 

All excitement from the reunion is lost, releasing your grip on his servos as your attention is turned towards the human man who’s taken to pointing the pipe at you. Turning your frame towards him you dwarf not only your Conjunx but the human he’s stown away. 

“You had one job- To stay hidden and you couldn’t handle that? Is your processor malfunctioning or have you not bothered to use it at all?” 

The words come out harsher than intended as his servos quickly grasp for your own. An attempt to greedily pull your gaze back to him even with its disappointment, but something twinges in your spark as his optical ridges shift with worry- almost pleading-

He’s placating you and it’s working, slag.

 “In my defense he wasn’t supposed to be there! Broke in and just happened to hear Prime-,” 

Here comes the excuses, out of his perfect yet immature intake,

 “—So in a sense it’s Primes fault? I didn’t announce myself. I played it cool, as always. Primes just got a big mouth- intake. Whatever,” 

His preference for the humans words starts to irritate a petty part of your processor that’s already agitated with him, truthfully his enjoyment of the whole culture grinds your gears-

Rumbling outside interrupts any thoughts or complaints you might have had, but leaves your conjunx in a further panic along with the human who turns the pipe now towards the entrance where the others drive through,

 “Better start thinking of a better excuse, Sweetspark,” you hum to him, leaving to approach the team you haven’t seen in years with an apprehensive excitement.

[somewhatidealname]

im sick right now with a bad cough but your afton skrunglies make me feel better. i love those guys. :] /gen

on that note, can they get sick aswell? whether it be a digital or physical virus?

glad you enjoy them! hope you beat your cough

i don't think there's any physical maladies these bots can get. you know what can corrupt their processors though. HAYWIRE ATTACK💥💥💥💥💥

it's noticeable with scraptrap and the more conscious machines. this entails violent behavior, twitching and glitching out, and malfunctioning. though most animatronics are typically aggressive in nature, going haywire is pretty painful for them as it causes involuntary movement, sensory overload, and in worst cases re-living one's final moments as human.

while haywiring animatronics can be alleviated with time or proper care, some of them experience it chronically, or even exist in such a disposition at all times

(this is just fnaf ar moments. funny red eyes)

[macabr3-barbi3]

Bluetooth Bogie

week three! give it up for week three!!!

I hope everyone is eating well with everything we have on our Menu so far, lovingly crafted and beautifully executed by our lovely @synamartia! Thank you as always to my love @fraugwinska for the pretty pretty banners she made for me, and to the other wives as well! @minkdelovely @hazelfoureyes @sugoi-writes 🩷❤️🩵

Summary: reader uses a production headpiece to drop filthy one-liners in Vox’s ear, live on air!

Vox is minding his business reading off the evening news report when he hears the telltale beep of one of the production headsets connecting with his Bluetooth. He continues with his sentence, figuring it will just be someone updating him with something new that was happening that he needed to touch on, just more of the usual shit that people pinged him about while he was live.

“I’ve been thinking about sucking you off during broadcasts.”

He stutters- the sentence he had been in the middle of dies on his lips as his screen glitches in the monitor he uses to watch himself. He powers through, regaining his train of thought and scanning the crowd of people beyond the set for the culprit; it could only be you that was stupid or brave enough to say such a thing to him in front of so many people. No one else seems to have any reaction to the words, so he knows you’ve used the tech skills -that had caught his eye enough to hire you in the first place- to isolate the signal so it only came through to him. He doesn’t see you in the immediate vicinity or recognize your shape in the group before him, and his eyes narrow when he hears shuffling from your end of the connection.

He keeps going. “And hey, wouldn’t you know it- Lucifer himself has been spotted out and about Hell again! Maybe with that shitshow Hotel up and running he felt it necessary to remind Hell how royalty is supposed to behave-”

A moan warbles through his processors. “Do you think you could concentrate with me under the desk while you did your show? Choking on your cock while you try to get through the news?” He thinks he can hear something in the background, faint and slick, and he’s hard behind the shelter of the desk before he’s finished his sentence at the implication of what you’re doing on the other end.

Vox holds it together this time, managing to get through his thought about Lucifer with your soft sounds of pleasure in his ear while you touch yourself on the other end of the connection. He can’t risk checking any of his camera feeds to find where you are on the off chance of his equipment malfunctioning and showing you off for all of Hell to see; that would be a fuck of a cover-up for Velvette to handle when he offed anyone stupid enough to snap a screenshot from the broadcast and post it online. 

“I know how loud you like me to be- we could watch the footage back later and see if the production mics picked up the sound of me moaning around you… ohhh…” The sound trails off, wet and muffled like you’ve shoved something into your mouth to replicate the feeling of gagging on his cock.

Could he end his broadcast? He’s paused live on air, the set manager exchanging curious glances with the rest of the crew- he could say his battery was dying, or one of his mechanical pieces needed to be replaced; anything to get out from behind this desk and go find you, fuck you into the nearest flat surface and then maybe reprimand you for interrupting his work even if it was sexy as fuck. 

“Would anyone notice if you fucked me under the desk?” 

He feels an error message flash across his screen and he tries to recover, laughing awkwardly and shuffling his papers on the desk. “Sorry about that, folks! Just a little buffering- on to our next bit of news…” He tries to split his focus so he can keep presenting while still listening to your whimpers and soft cries through the connection. It’s not working well- he keeps getting distracted by the noises you make, causing lulls in his speech while he tries to report, the production team looking more and more frazzled the longer it goes on.

His cock is straining against his pants with the way you’re teasing him, a wet patch against the front where the tip of his erection leaks. “You’d have to gag me somehow- or everyone in the Pride Ring would get to hear what I sound like cumming on your cock.”

Vox is ready to call it. Hell could live without another fucking update on the Radio Demon- he had more important things to tend to when he managed to locate you. The team is whispering amongst themselves- “Sir?” The production manager asks hesitantly through one of the properly connected headsets, the hand holding his clipboard shaking minutely across the way.

“I don’t think you could handle it,” you whisper into your end, and that stops him from giving the order to end transmission. “You’re so vocal when you’re inside of me- I don’t think you’d last a whole segment without breaking and telling me how well I’m taking you. I’m not even there with you now and I can tell you’re thinking about shutting down production.” A breathy whine of his name, and the faint, rhythmic noise he’s been hearing intensifies as you fuck yourself harder on whatever toy you had gotten your hands on. “You’d be the one to get us caught.”

Vox closes his eyes for a moment and processes the challenge you’ve issued. “How about that acid rain, everyone?” He asks, and he hears your stilted chuckle through the headset. “Temporary glitch, nothing to worry about- rest assured that those responsible will be held accountable. Our next piece here is gonna be a big hit with those over in the Industrial district…”

He locks his shit down, reporting the news without another hitch even with the distracting sound of you in his head as you bring yourself to orgasm over and over. His cock twitches and jerks in time with the noises but he refuses to even take his hands off the desk to palm himself for some relief- that would be your responsibility once he got his fucking hands on you. The production team looks relieved that he’s back to normal, and you know better now than to try and tease him any further beyond the soft gasps of his name as you pleasure yourself.

At the scheduled time- and not a moment sooner, thank you very much- the live broadcast ends, and the connection to your headset goes dead. He turns away from his desk and finally pulls up his camera feeds; there you are, spread across his sheets all sweaty and fucked out, one hand already back between your legs and the other blowing a little kiss to the blinking red light of the camera. His stage manager hardly gets out the first part of his question about what the fuck had happened before Vox is gone, zapping into the nearest cable line and on his way to teach you a lesson about interrupting his work.

[randofics]

Thermalis

🎶 Maroon5- she will be loved

Ultra Magnus x reader

18+

-------

Magnus was using his thermals to look over a malfunctioning piece of equipment when your entrance caught his attention. Your vibrant figure stood out against the cold blue of the concrete floor. Even the breath puffing through your nose and mouth had a fleeting heat.

It got colder inside during these winter desert nights. Cold enough for you to constantly wear your old high-school hoodie and leggings.

To his surprise, you weren't wearing the hoodie. Instead, it was tied around your waist, leaving your top half covered in a tank top. He observed your heat signature as you climbed the metal steps to the platform, curious at the way heat seemed to radiate from your belly, chest, and head. Your limbs were a bit cooler, and your fingers even cooler than them.

You noticed him staring and gave him a small smile. "What is it, Magnus?"

Shaking his helm slightly to clear it he hummed in question back at you. "I noticed you staring, so what's up?"

"Ah apologies y/n I noticed you weren't wearing your hoodie."

"Oh yeah, Rachet had me working on some of his equipment earlier. The cooling system was malfunctioning, so I had to wriggle inside where it was still hot to repair a few things. Made me sweat like a racehorse." He nods, remembering his own tech troubles. "I may have a similar problem with this equipment here."

"Really? Well, I can take a look if you want?"

"That would be much appreciated, thank you." He held out his servo for you to hop into and brought you over to the malfunctioning machine. Popping open a side panel, you lay on your back to slide inside all the way to your waist. Magnus observes your arms, moving about as you look over the wires and cables inside. The flashlight between your teeth slips in your concentration and smacks you in the forehead before rolling further inside the machine.

"OW... I sworney! Get back here, ya stupid flashlight!" Magnus quirks a browridge as you feel around for the familiar cylinder of your light. You shift your legs from their side laying position to propped up and spread as you reach further inside. Having forgotten his thermals were still on, the hot signature between your thighs drew in his optics.

He somewhat understood why your torso would be so hot but down there? Cybertronians were usually cold there. As you finally grabbed the light and continued your work, Magnus was staring off into space. His processor wandering. He couldn't help his curiosity in how that warmth would feel against him but remembered that organics were wet and squishy inside. At first, the thought kinda grossed him out, but the longer he thought about it, the stronger his curiosity became till he finally steered his thoughts towards you.

He hadn't been thinking of you specifically, at least not at first, but now he was thinking of how you would feel on his spike. The raunchy thoughts caught him off guard. He shook his helm to dispell them, clearing his vocalizer. A blue blush crossing his faceplate. He needed to distract himself with work. Walking over to his data pad, he turned it on, trying to busy himself with "paperwork."

He couldn't stop his thoughts about you. He wondered how much your temperature would change as he worked you up and how plush your body might be in his servos.

"Something wrong, big guy?" He gives you a strange look. You feel a bit shy under his gaze and trip over your words. "Magnus? Wh-what is it? Why are you... staring at me like that?" He kneals, and you take a step back.

"Your heat signature."

"What about it?" He clears his vocalizer standing straight again. "Nevermind, forget I said anything."

"Okaaay... I'm finished with the repair." He gives you a curt nod, turning back to the screens covered in cybertronian script. "Thank you for your assistance, y/n." Shaking your head, you walk away, not realizing the mech has his optics on you.

He silently watches you leave, finally switching his thermals off so he can see everything in normal color.

-------

The next hour or so was very unproductive for him. He just couldn't stop thinking about you no matter how hard he tried. Eventually, he gave up deciding that a night drive would calm his racing processor. But as fate would have it, he wouldn't be alone.

You jogged into the main room, calling to him as he got ready to transform. "Magnus! Magnus! Wait up!" He qwirked a brow ridge as you huffed from running. "Do you... mind dropping me off at my place?"

"Is Bumblebee unable to?"

"Yeah, he's busy helping Optimus." He nods, transforming in front of you. His driver side door pops open, and you step up inside. With your seatbelt secure around you, he drives through the tunnel.

Raindrops hit his windshield as he passed the giant hidden doors. Puddles had formed in the almost hydrophobic desert soil as an unusual hard rain poured from the heavens. He didn't need to use his wipers, but for the sake of blending in, he turned them on. Several cars passed in the opposite lane, almost backed up for some reason.

You looked farther ahead and spotted the flashing lights of police vehicles. You could see that the road ahead was blocked off by barricades and police cruisers. A large section of road had collapsed in the rushing floodwaters, and no one would be getting through anytime soon.

"Ugh, that's just great! Now, how will I get home?"

"You could accompany me for a drive while I find another way through?"

"Ok, if you're alright with it?" You watch the lights on the radio flash as he speaks. "I have nothing better to do at the moment." He makes a u-turn following the other vehicles through the translucent sheets of rain. A few minutes down the road, he turns onto a dirt one. You can feel his shocks taking the brunt of the worn potholes as he slowly drives through them.

Mud cakes his tires and undercarriage, making it hard to get a good grip on the road. The detour was proving more and more fruitless by the minute. He grunted as his tires spun in a particularly deep wallow. The mud had practically drained from under his tires, leaving him on top of a shelf of mud. His weight now off his tires put pressure on his undercarriage.

In cybertronian, he cursed his steering wheel, turning left and right as he tried to gain enough traction. With that not working, either he partially transforms using different parts to drag himself forward, eventually escaping the deep mud.

"That was deep! I was beginning to wonder if I should call for a wrecker."

"I doubt Bulkhead or Wheeljack would've been much help." You let out a chuckle at his misunderstanding. "No, I mean a wrecker like a vehicle recovery truck. They're mainly used for semi recovery." He grunts in recognition, continuing down the road.

The lights of a main road shine up ahead, and you breathe an unconscious sigh of relief when he rolls onto the asphalt. It's obvious, however, just how much mud is stuck to his tires as he unevenly drives down the road. As you continue looking forward, you spot an empty car wash.

"How about we stop at this car wash so I can spray you down?"

"Agreed, my tires aren't getting enough traction with this mud." He pulls into the semi sized wash bay and cuts his engine. The old car wash only has one working light in this bay, leaving it washed in a dim greenish-blue. Stepping out, you take the pressure washer in hand, immediately starting on his tires. The mud washes away relatively quickly, and before you know it, you're kneeling down, trying to spray his undercarriage clean.

The yellowish lights of an older pickup truck shine across you, and Magnus as a man pulls into the small lot. He parked next to the air pump, stepping out onto the glossy wet pavement. The rain had finally settled down quite a bit.

As you continued your spraying, the man was clearly watching you as he stood there a moment. He suddenly called out to you, gaining your attention. "Hey ma'am! Do you need some help?"

You wiped water from your face as you stood to face him. "No sir, I'm fine, thanks!" The man started walking over when you turned your back to him. Alarms rang in Magnus' processor, so he switched on his holoform. Opening the driver's side door, he stepped out, making eye contact with the approaching man. Immediately upon seeing Magnus, he turned on his heels and walked back to his truck to put air in his tires.

Boots hitting the concrete drew your attention. You were met with an older man, probably in his late forties, his hair just beginning to grey and dressed in battle fatigues. He was clean-shaven and standing with his hands behind his waist as a general would.

"That you Magnus?" He only nods, watching the man as he finally gets back in his truck, driving away. Magnus turns to you as you finish spraying his undercarriage clean. "That feel better?"

"Yes, thank you, y/n." Noticing your slight shivering, he turns on his thermals again. You're a tad colder than you were back at base, and clearly, the spray of the hose dampened your clothes. The cool breeze didn't help much either. After spraying a clean path to his passenger door and cleaning your shoes, you step up inside again.

Glancing at his surroundings, he steps up into the driver's seat. Pulling forward, he drives into the dark, secluded rear of the car wash to park. As you rub your arms in an attempt to get warm, you give him a confused look. His seat slides back as far as possible, and he pats his lap.

"You want me to get in your lap?"

"You're cold, aren't you? It's the least I can do for that wash down." You bite your lip as you think it over. Caving, you clamber over to him, straddling his legs with your hands on his chest. Gently and a bit unsure of yourself, you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his neck as you lay against him. His holoform is warm to your surprise but not as much as a human. You nuzzle into his neck, closing your eyes at the comforting feeling of his presence. Arms wrap around your back, and you let out a content sigh, relaxing your muscles.

He feels your body loosen as your breath tickles his holoform skin. He wraps his arms around you and lets himself relax as well.

-------

A few minutes pass, and you can't help but fidget a little with his uniform buttons. "What are you doing?" His deep voice close to your ear sends a shiver down your spine. And you can feel your body react to him. Gently, you press your lips against his neck, taking him by surprise.

He sucks in a synthetic breath as you place more tender kisses on his skin. "Would it be alright if I switched holoforms?" You pause, leaning back to look him in the eyes. "You have a different holoform?" Now you were curious, would it be this human with different clothes or something else? "I can project a holoform of my true body as well as this human form."

Perhaps he wanted to do this in his true form rather than some human version of himself. It was understandable. You wouldn't want to do something intimate in another body either. You smile and nod, letting him know you were ok with it and his holoform morphs before your eyes.

That familiar blue, red, and silver body sits under you as solid as ever. When you shift in his lap, you brush against his modesty panel, sending a small jolt of pleasure through your nerves. His servos land on your waist, and you press your forhead against his in a sign of affection.

"What would you like me to do next?" His question has you smiling, giving him a soft chuckle. "Just do what feels right, Magnus."

"Mmh, alright then." He takes your jaw in his servo, pulling you in for a kiss. It's gentle at first, both of you unsure about yourselves but slowly you get into a rhythm of sorts. His glossa ran over your teeth, asking for entry, which you obliged. His denta clashed against your teeth as the kiss grew frantic. Subconsciously, you scooted forward, sitting right on his modesty panel. His servo gripped your rear, lifting you slightly as you heard feint clicks. When you sat back down His modesty panel wasn't there anymore instead replaced by a spike of sorts. Rounded and pliable like some kind of silicone covered metal. It was dark charcoal grey with feint blue lights running along it.

A mad blush covers your face and ears as you look back up at him. He also looks nervous and can't keep eye contact with you. "I apologize y/n I didn't mean for that to happen." For once, you can hear nerves in his voice. He's normally so calm and collected much like Optimus.

Gaining confidence at his nervousness, you give him a peck on the lips, sliding off his lap. You strip in front of him all the way down to bare skin. His glowing eyes scan your body in awe as you gingerly slip back into his lap. "You're gorgeous. I don't know any femmies that even come close to your beauty." You almost tear up at his compliments.

He lets his servos roam your skin as he moves to kiss your neck. Small sounds escape your throat as he caresses your abdomen and deftly touches your spine. You position yourself on his spike, moving your hips back and forth to gain some pleasure. He groans in your ear as you rub yourself on him. Your slick leaks on him lubricating him for the next step.

When he breaks away from your neck, you kiss him again and sit up on your knees above him. "Are you certain you want to go through with this?" Your gaze is dark with arousal as you nod to him. You split yourself open, gently aligning him with your entrance as you finally sink down.

He hisses, cursing in cybertronian at the feeling of you around him. You let out a pitiful whine as he stretches you, filling you perfectly. You grip his shoulders to ground yourself as you both stay still for a moment. Relaxing your muscles, you slip just a bit further down to the base of him as he grips your hips tight.

When he attempts to move, you wrap your arms around his neck, gripping one of his ear finials. He moves his servos to your rear, lifting you up only to thrust back into you. Moans quickly flow from your lips as he gets into rhythm. A growl escapes him as he leans forward, getting out of the seat. With you he shimmys to his back cabin, laying you on the folding cot.

He gets on top of you and moves the pillow under your hips before slipping back inside you with a pleasured groan. You let out a gasp when he plunges back in, the different angle providing new pleasure. As he thrusts harder, you lock your legs around his waist and claw at his back plates. You can feel the coil inside you tightening as your muscles squeeze around his spike.

"Magnus... Harder!" Immediately, his hips snap harder into yours, and you feel your coil about to snap. It's only when he whispers to you something in cybertronian gripping the meat of your rear that it finally snaps. You call out his name as your body tenses, waves of white hot pleasure running through you.

He continues moving through your high, letting possesive synthetic growls slip through his vocalizer. An almost inaudible hiss of air meets your ears as your mind clears a bit, and you suddenly feel his girth increase inside you. It stretches you just a bit more, and you already feel another orgasm slowly creeping up on you.

Magnus isn't slowing down yet either as he lifts one of your legs to gain a better angle. His lips attacking your neck again as he chases his own release. His denta nip at your skin, and his glossa runs along your throat, making you shiver.

You feel his arms around you as he suddenly picks you back up, taking a standing position. He thrusts up into you, letting out what you can only guess is cybertronian dirty talk. Nonetheless, it works, and you know you're close to another release. Chanting his name like a mantra, you claw at his back and grip his finials.

"I'm close y/n!" You can't respond only letting moans flow from your lips. With a few more thrusts, he lets out a hiss cursing in cybertronian again as he releases inside you. Heat fills your womb as you squeeze him like a vice. Your legs tighten around him in an attempt to pull him further inside you. You can feel your walls pulse around him as he gently thrusts into you to ride out your high.

Breathing hard, you give him a sleepy smile touching forheads again in affection. He sits back in the driver's seat, letting you lay against him. "Can we stay here for a bit?"

"Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way." Wrapping your arms around his neck, you close your eyes. "I love you, Magnus." His spark swells with joy at that. "I love you as well, y/n."

[cyrusking100]

GUYS LOOK AT THIS LEAK I FOUND OF DONALD!!

OMG ITS DONALD FERGUSONS BLUEPRINT AND ITS EXACTLY HOW I WOULD HAVE IMAGINED HIS ENDOSKELETON TO LOOK LIKE!!

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kidding.

i made it lol :p

So I made this blueprint because one, I am obsessed with cyborg dudes and two I have no life and got bored lmao. I did do a lot of research on cybernetics and hope I got it as accurate as I could. So without further ado...

Let me give a tour of Donald's blueprint!

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Latch- Located on top of Donald's metal head which can be opened via key insertion and is safely guarded by Cecil Stedman who only knows its location.

Imaging Process Software- Built inside Donald's eyes which allows him to see and process what he is visualizing it also allows him to imagine things much more accurately than the average human

Scent Processors or Sensors- built inside Donald’s nose which allows him to smell and process scents, unfortunately, it's not as advanced as his visual processors so he actually smells things with less accuracy than he did before he died, though he doesn't notice this as often.

Ultrasonic Processors or Receivers/Emitters- Built inside Donald's ear canals which allow him to ear and process sounds at a much higher frequency than the average human

Diagnostic CPU or Chip and the Insertion Port- a cylindrical hole located on top of Donald's forehead which is where the CPU (Central Process Unit) chip is used to diagnose any minor malfunctions and auto-corrects it. If any malfunction is too severe (such as limb amputations) it would require manual repairs to be fixed. However, the reason why Cecil is keeping this diagnostic chip from Donald is because if inserted, it would revive all of the previous lost memories since the DC identifies them as errors to be corrected. There is a key that can be also inserted in the port on his head which opens the latch that reveals his brain. When he dies they must quickly remove his brain which is protected by a thin layer of gelatin in his metal head. It is also connected to metal segments magnified to the outer layer of his brain which can be easily detached without any repercussions. when they detach his brain they must quickly preserve it in a preservation tank before it starts to decompose. (essentially he is a brain in a jar lmao.) And yes, this is the same preservation tank as the one they used for Robot/Rudy Connors in the comics.

Optical Sensors- Located in his bionic eyes, they give off the illusion of human eyes accurately  they also allow Donald to differentiate between light variations they can also allow him to see in infrared and give him night vision...but he doesn't know this yet...hehe

Eye Subsystem are motors that allow Donald to express emotions and are composed of his eyebrows, eyelids, and of course, eyes. Now given his nature he very rarely ever emotes but the subsystem is very accurate nonetheless. There are two buttons located on his eye subsystem which are called trigger buttons. When both are activated it will open up his face plate to reveal his metal skull. This allows the mechanics to repair him much faster and efficiently, unfortunately, they can be triggered easily so if he gets punched in the face or sleeps in a weird position it's likely he will accidentally trigger them which can end up in an uncomfortable situation.

Mouth Subsystem- these are motors that are composed of his mouth parts such as his lips, teeth, gums, tongue, and vocal folds. Much like with his eye subsystem, they allow him to express himself and communicate with others.

Bionic Eye and Eye Mechanisms- These are mechanisms that allow Donald to see and express himself.

Silicone Skin Outer Surface- This is Donald's fake skin which is composed of silicone accurately replacing human flesh. hair follicles can also be inserted in Donald’s skin to allude to organic body hair. unfortunately, his artificial skin cannot regenerate on its own and requires manual repairs

Microphone Sensor/Ear Detection EM Waves- This allows Donald to hear sounds that average humans cannot hear (Electromagnetic sound waves) This is done by converting em sound waves to audible sounds. It also allows him to communicate through other devices by sending audible signals

Artificial Teeth- This mimics the function of human teeth and is composed of acrylic resin they are much more durable and sturdy allowing them to decompose slower over time if used too much.

Linear Motion Mechanism- This allows Donald to move his neck up and down and convert from rotational or horizontal movement to vertical

Audible Larynx- This allows Donald to allow air to move through the passageway and also allows him to vocalize sound or talk. This artificial larynx also prevents his voice from sounding robotic or augmented, if damaged, his voice will come off as robotic.

Linear DC Servo Neck Motor- This allows Donald to rotate his neck in many positions

Artificial Nervous System- (ANS) mimics the biological function of the human nervous system which is composed of neuroreceptors, nerve stimulators, nerve receptors, and neuron circuitry allowing Donald to react to stimuli similar to how he used to before he died.

Power Core Energy Conductor- Even though Donald's brain is his body's main source of power, he still requires a source to conduct energy or electricity through his body especially when he's on low power. His body, just like most humans, requires "charge" to restore energy but he relies on an external source other than sleep which is a charging station. If his Power core is damaged it will result in an automatic shutdown. His power core is essentially his actual heart.

Hip Joint Motor- This is a motor that acts as an artificial hip and allows Donald to move in all positional possible by humans by all axes

Rotary Arm Joints- These joints allow Donald to move his arms in several positions

Artificial Internal Digestive Unit- This is an artificial digestive system that mimics most of the function of organic digestive systems though is not advanced enough to replicate the silhouette. It also digests the nutrient intake Donald consumes and transports the nutrients to his brain to absorb.

Artificial Pelvic Region- This acts as an artificial pelvis and even mimics Donald’s original silhouette

Hydraulic Hand Actuators- This allows Donald to move his hands via using pressurized liquid (oil) however this can result in janky movement sometimes though before he found out about his robotic nature he assumed that he was developing arthritis (which is reasonable considering he's in his 50s)

Artificial Rectum- Um...do i really need to explain this? Ok..well as the term implies this allows him to go to the bathroom but he doesn't really need to it just mimics human bodily function to avoid suspicion what's interesting is that the contents that he consumes, especially liquids are only dyed to appear like urine but because he doesn't have actual blood they can't break down the contents ad hey cant be filtered to his kidneys because..well he doesn't have any. So the mechanisms in his rectum and digestive system dye the content he consumes kind of like some kind of chemical lab process in his body just to make an illusion that he can relieve himself. however, he doesn't really need to eat or to drink.

Tactile and Biosensors- This allows Donald to feel sensations in his fingers and through his body albeit not as efficiently as before he died.

Neuro Stimulators- These much like his biosensors allow him to receive pain signals through his body via electrical impulses that are connected to his brain and make up his artificial nervous system to mimic the feeling of pain or nerve receptors in humans.

Angular Encoders- These help measure movements in Donald to mov his joints much more precisely which help him move more quickly and accurately esp when fighting

Servo Motor Controls- These are rotary actuators that allow more precise movement in Donald esp when rotating limbs

Titanium Limbs- These are the material that his endoskeleton and body parts are composed of titanium

Rotary Ankle Joints- These allow Donald to move his ankles relative to a how a human moves their ankles via a servo motor

Also here's more versions!!

oooh and heres more!

Here's more label info on his other blueprint-

Artificial Tongue Composed of Rubber- This tongue which is obviously located in his mouth, allows him to speak and eat clearly much like the function of organic tongues in humans. It's composed of resin and dyed rubber.

Remaining Organic Tissue- The remaining organic tissue in Donald is obvi his brain which isolated in his metal skull

Multifilament Muscles- These muscles operate similarly to humans but function at a much more efficient rate, they are also more sturdy and are less likely to tear compared to regular humans. They are composed of silk which is a very strong and elastic material esp strung together like yarn.

Artificial Fat (foam)- The artificial fat as it implies is composed of soft foam similar to humans but slightly off in feeling. Of course, Donald shrugged it off as "getting older" because what other logical reason would explain feeling weird in your own body?

Artificial Lungs (air sacs)- The artificial lungs are air sacs similar to cars and inflate and deflate based on Donald's breathing patterns. They also transport oxygen from outside Donald's body into his brain to produce the required energy to function.

Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation (ECMO)- The artificial respiratory system it pumps blood from donalds body and adds oxygen and removes carbon dioxide. blood flows from the artificial heart back to the ECMO.

Artificial Titanium Secondary Skeleton- This secondary skeleton only serves as to illude the silhouette and feel of an organic skeleton to prevent any further suspicion.

Internal Cooling System- This system allows Donald's body to regulate temperature much like thermoregulation, it circulates a coolant through channels to absorb heat from an engine or other system. This prevents Donald's systems from overheating and causing short-circuitry and other malfunctions from occurring. However, if damaged or exposed to extremely high temperatures, his system will start to overheat and he will start to malfunction.

Artificial Heart- This acts as an actual heart and functions by keeping the artificial blood flowing through Donald's body.

Wires Underneath Skin- The wires underneath Donald's body are used to send electrical signals to his body and prevent them from affecting his body. They also are used to transmit information from the brain to the body such as electrodes.

Artificial Blood- This functions like human blood, it can be able to circulate energy and information through the body. It also transmits oxygen and carbon dioxide to and from the body. However, Donald cannot produce blood on his own and doesn't require as much as most humans. It's mostly meant for the show to convince him and others he's human.

Artificial Urinary System- As the term implies it acts as an organic urinary system and automatically assists in preventing involuntary "urine" leakage. He has an artificial bladder that stores the "urine" which is really just dyed liquid as his body can no longer abide by the three-step process of producing urine such as filtration, reabsorption, and secretion. Though, the bladder functions as any human bladder and when it is filled up it will release the urine through the urethra and outside the body. The purpose is to convert nutrients into energy which the remaining nutrients will be spread to the blood and brain.

Artificial Reproductive System- As the term implies the reproductive system acts as an organic human reproductive system which consists of...um...you know what? Let's skip this one. I really really don't want to have to explain this tbh. (even though I put it here.)

Wired Circulatory System- This consists of wires and circuitry that acts as a network of vessels that circulate Donald's artificial blood throughout his body whilst delivering oxygen to his brain cells. It also delivers electrical signals or information to his body when he feels pain.

Gastric Pump as Artificial Digestive System- This consists of synthetic tubes that can expand and contract like actual intestines that way contents can pass through with little struggle. on the outside of the intestines is which is made from silicon and rubber and can mimic how oxygen passes through the gut and can even stimulate the ability to vomit. He also contains an esophagus made from rubber which allows many foods to pass through. He does have taste in his artificial tongue however it's not as efficient as his old one. When food passes through his digestive tract acidic enzymes break it down into small chunks and are squeezed through this molding system where it dyes and transforms the content into a "stool" or "urine" kind of like playdough factory toys. (don't worry it's not as gross as it sounds) 

Bionic Eyes- the function by converting images from built-in cameras connected to the brain and siding electric signals that stimulate the brain which interprets it as an image.

Image Processing and Tracking Software- These allow Donald to manipulate and analyze data as images but also track where certain subjects move with high precision. Enhancing his mental images and giving him a "keen" eye.

Artificial Regenerative Hair Follicles- these are made from synthetic material that can expand in very thin strings to give the illusion that they can grow. They often increase in length when exposed to high temperatures. So basically Donald can cut his hair but it can't grow very long. his nails are made from the same materials

Backup Charging Port- located on Donald’s neck, this charging port is mainly for emergencies just in case if his chest charging port is malfunctioning. It is located above his power trigger buttons which can result in a shutdown if activated or stimulated by high stress levels.

Titanium Spine - This is located on Donald's back and is composed of titanium which is very difficult to crush...unless you're a pure-blood viltrumite. 

Oh, and another thing, although Da Sinclair didn’t make Donald’s 39th endoskeleton, he was asked to revise some parts by the old man himself, Cecil Stedman. The reason being that Cecil wanted to make Donald much stronger than last time replacing actuators and adding more multifilients in certain places. He did it out of care but also knowing the questionably ethical methods he must take in order to keep Donald alive.