#Prior to this I never really thought about how tight-lipped Roman would be regarding his past

[masquenoire]

How your muse handles pain and/or trauma.

1) When reacting to extreme pain or trauma (inflicted on THEMSELVES) your muse feels: helpless | angry | afraid | shocked | defeated | detached | unreal | nothing

2) When reacting to extreme pain or trauma (inflicted on OTHERS) your muse feels: helpless | angry | afraid | shocked | defeated | detached | unreal | nothing (Roman would only have strong feelings regarding people he cares about)

3) In a life-and-death situation, your muse would: save themselves first | risk their life for someone else | risk their life only for someone they care about

4) Has your muse done any of the things mentioned in the third question (above) and regretted it? yes | no

5) Has your muse ever: lost a loved one | lost a family member | personally seen someone close to them die | been in a war (Do gang wars in Gotham count?)

6) Regarding past trauma, your muse is: indifferent to it | sensitive about it | keeping it bottled up | insecure about it | afraid of others finding out [some parts] about it | accepting of it

Stolen from: @oswald-pengu1n-cobblepot and @ratwhsprs​ Tagging: Anyone!

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

What Is Deceit Really After?

 In light of the latest Sanders Sides video, Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, a part of the video that came in early on and lasted only a few seconds really stuck with me.

The moment I'm talking about is during Remus’s introductory song when Remus suddenly pulls attention away from himself and his role to tell Thomas about a conversation he had with Deceit prior to the video: 

Remus: Speaking of honesty, recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge. He [Deceit] said, “You’re wanting to be more honest and be direct dealing with your issues. No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you.”

While I find it strange that Remus took a little detour to mention this conversation, I found it even stranger that Deceit, someone who appears to be very selfish with his own agenda, would spend time offering Remus a chance to get what it was he wanted.

As it was said before back in Can LYING Be Good??, Deceit has the ability to hide and keep away anything that Thomas doesn’t want to know or denies about himself. Throughout the video, Thomas was trying to tell the others, and himself, that the thoughts Remus was giving him wasn’t him [Thomas] and that he didn’t want them. So, in accordance with one of Deceit’s cannon responsibilities, Remus shouldn’t even be there and should still be tucked away where Thomas would be unaware of him. But Deceit deliberately set him free.

Why?

Well first let’s look to the next, and final, time Deceit is brought up (indirectly) in the episode:

Logan: I can’t imagine how someone would fake not doing something, other than by doing something and hiding that they’re doing it.

Remus: Ooh, how fun! You know who can help us with that? *Deceit’s music plays in the background* *suggesting that Deceit has to do with the topic of conversation*

Here it is practically confirmed by Remus that Deceit is doing something secretly behind the scenes. Deceit seems to have an agenda, as said by Patton in Selfishness v. Selflessness.

Patton: You always seem to have some bigger plan, some agenda.

Deceit: Doesn’t everyone?

Patton: Well not everyone is so secretive about theirs.

Deceit: Everything has a purpose, and sometimes fulfilling your purpose requires keeping things close to the chest.

Notice Deceit’s wording here: “fulfilling your purpose.” What is Deceit’s purpose as a functioning side again? Well, let’s revisit his first episode again to how Patton described him after he was first found out and left:

Patton: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation. 

By desiring the preservation of Thomas, similar to say Logan and/or Virgil with less moral construct, Deceit’s agenda could very well be his way of trying to take control of Thomas’s life in an attempt to steer it in a way that he deems is in Thomas’s best interest. He’s already done this when he tried to convince Thomas to ditch Lee and Marily (Mary Lee?)’s wedding in favor of attending a call back for a movie under a famous director that could exponentially increase Thomas’s status in life, better his future path, and create numerous opportunities in which to sustain and secure himself.

What Deceit is after is security.

Again, during Deceit’s interrogation in SvS, after he went on a whole spiel about the dangers of an authoritative society, he said that his main concern for Thomas in regards to that society was/is:

Deceit: I don’t want Thomas to be disadvantaged in a world where you can die for not following the laws made in the name of a lie.

Deceit states his goal of protecting Thomas from getting hurt from the dangers of a society that is loosely kept in order by a fragile mutual agreement that could easily be broken by anyone. But do you know what would keep Thomas safe if that society were to suddenly break?

Climbing up the social ladder.

But what does any of this have to do with why Deceit suddenly decided to unleash the gremlin bastard child that is Remus?

Well first off Remus’s whole goal was to get Thomas to realize that he isn’t as innocent and pure as he thought and get him to realize that he, and his creative content, is capable of so much more. Similar to how Deceit tried to get Thomas to realize that he was more capable of selfish acts and had more of a tendency for lying then he let himself believe.

Thomas’s goodie goodie attitude of altruism severely limits Thomas in Deceit’s eyes. His over the top concern to care for others before himself keeps him from taking opportunities that would benefit him (at the expense of another) or do things that he’d in enjoy (but would mean putting himself before a friend). In Deceit’s mind, Thomas is never going to be well secured and safe if he won’t take care of his own needs before the needs of another.

So, in order to combat the issue, Deceit is trying to tip the scale of power in Thomas’s mind by using three different methods.

1. Unleashing more of the dark sides so that their influence away from an altruistic outlook would increase.

2. Seducing the light sides to be in their favor against altruism.

3. Making Virgil a dark side again

We saw Deceit go to Remus and convince him that the time had come that he reveals himself and no longer live in the shadow of his brother Roman and finally take his rightful place as Thomas’s creativity. While it did fail in the end, Deceit had a momentary success by disturbing Patton and Virgil so much that they consistently hounded on Thomas to the point that he couldn’t sleep and started questioning himself and the choices he had recently made.

His other method, which he did previous to his plan with Remus, was trying to gain more control by taking over the light sides. Seducing Patton is literally pointless since he’s the main source of the altruism, so Deceit tried to pull both Roman and Logan to his side. For Roman, he played on his dreams of fame and fortune and his desire to act and be on the “silver screen.” For Logan, he tried to go about it objectively, what would benefit Thomas’s well being and offer them an opportunity. This almost worked with Roman, as Roman, covertly, sided with Deceit throughout SvS, only for him to switch back to siding with the light sides even at the expense of his own dream and goal.

So bada bing bada boom, two failures already and almost no progress made, or has there?

At the end of DwIT, we have the long-awaited reveal that Virgil was a dark side in the past. While for much of the fandom that fact was obvious, but for Thomas, it wasn’t.

For Virgil, his time as a dark side is not something he is proud or fond of, and why would he be? As Virgil stated, he used to be terrified of Remus, and his resentful relationship with Deceit was clearly toxic. The others were not good friends, and he probably wasn’t one to them either, which would explain Virgil’s demeanor in the earlier episodes as cold and cruel to the light sides, because that’s how he was conditioned. 

The dark sides are also obviously not the most beneficial or helpful assents to Thomas, so this could cause Virgil to think back about he also used to be, or still is, in his mind, a hindrance to Thomas and would make him loath that time he spent with them even more and want to keep it hidden so that Thomas’s newly improved impression of Virgil, that he worked so hard for, wouldn’t be damaged.

But the dark sides keep on coming, and he isn’t able to control them or deal with them as he thought he could. These sides keep on appearing and poking at him for who he used to be so much that it cornered him to reveal his darkest secret just so Thomas wouldn’t have to hear it from them.

Look at Virgil’s face as he tells Thomas of his true nature:

His eyes are red and his lips are tight and slightly quivering. He’s scared to say anything, but he had to.

And Thomas’s reaction? Exactly what Virgil was afraid of:

He steps away and looks at Virgil with fear.

Again, what does any of this have to do with Deceit’s agenda? 

Revealing Virgil was the agenda. Or at least part of it.

Going back to the end credit scene of EMBARRASSING PHASES, when Deceit suddenly dropped in on Virgil it wasn’t just for some casual banter with an old colleague, it was to prove a point. The point that Virgil hasn’t, and can’t, change from who he once was. I discussed this before in my other theories (Virgil’s Hidden Past and Virgil Isn’t What He Seems) but what Deceit is trying to do is to get Virgil to stop denying who he really is and take off the disguise he’s been wearing as a “light” side.

But why does it matter that Virgil stop “faking” being a light side?

It’s as I said before, Deceit is trying to shift the power to the dark sides in the mind, and turning Virgil back to how he was when he was an antagonist may do just that.

Despite once being a dark side, I’ve noticed that Virgil is different than the others. Unlike with Deceit and Remus, Virgil was never kept from Thomas, he’s always been known and able to interact with him and the main sides. And, in comparison to deceitfulness and intrusive thoughts, anxiety has much more impact on the mental, physical, and emotional health. Anxiety can be so intense that it can impede on anyone’s basic well being. And while lying and horrible thoughts can also do this, it’s nothing compared to the scale of damage anxiety is capable of. Virgil’s ability to influence how Thomas thinks and acts has always been powerful, powerful enough to the point that even Deceit couldn’t contain him.  

Virgil may not be Deceit’s main or only agenda, but he’s defiantly on it.

If Deceit were to get someone that powerful back on his side, then he could do whatever was necessary to secure Thomas’s safety. And by the looks of how broken Virgil was when he finally revealed himself:

It’s working.

[carpe-lumxn]

@collidingxworlds | continued from here (x)

Okay, so at first Lucifer delivered some boundaries of what can and can't be done in order to try and seek a compromise. According to Crowley's sullen reply it was not as effective. Then again, Crowley was not keen at all to give up his view of Earth, willing to fight tooth and nail for it again. Why someone would fight so hard for an unfinished prototype, Lucifer did not understand. Alright already. You are right, changing one's worldview was a process that required multiple steps. Perhaps Lucifer was asking for suggestions in order for Crowley to have no reason to object to Hell anymore, but his choice was clear-- he wanted the company of humanity and humanity only. No matter how flawed it was. So. Despite how problematic it was, it would be wiser to let the matter rest for now. Meanwhile, Lucifer explicitly stated that she was here for suggestions for improvement, which was somewhat true, so she might as well make the most of it.

Bear with me, princess, she thought as Crowley rolled his eyes. You could survive 6000 years as a demon, you could survive this brief conversation. She could be patient, luckily. So Lucifer huffed, sat back, crossed her arms, and listened.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at Crowley's attempt to appease her pride. Arguing that she knew Earth better than other demons. Well. Only to a certain extent, Lucifer never visited the surface for long. Then she realised that Crowley was justifying this from her fashion choice. Ah. It was nighttime, so he wasn't able to see her full ensemble. Lucifer crossed her ankles, flashing her dragon-scaled spats and the tattered ash edges of her culottes. Very strange to wear spats in the 21st century, was it not? Yes, they, along with gold makeup, were incredibly fashionable with the Archangels. 'Tis a dead end, sweetie, nothing to see here. 

Maybe it was petty, yes, but Lucifer scoffed at they’ll listen to you, we’ve always have. It was a very delicate balance, power. She chewed the tip of the cigar. No can do. Lucifer did not trust so much given out. “I see you’ve never met Behemoth and Leviathan. Or Asmodeus and his cult. You are right, some demons do need to hear that, but saying all that at once? Hmm. There's also a crowd who would not care much for that, a crowd who would see that as degrading, and another crowd... well. Bit hard to explain about that crowd." She waved her hand. "Fugetaboutit."

So Lucifer was feeling confident at first. And then Crowley talked about the politics, how Lucifer sold fake sights just like the incompetent political leaders on this planet. Okay, that caused Lucifer's patience to wane, because that wasn’t true. There was an end in sight, they just had to push for it. Second of all, Crowley really was using a lot of keywords that ticked her off. Embarrassing, lazy, choice, change, etc. Alright, so maybe Crowley was smarter and more observant than Lucifer had thought. Lucifer did squint really hard at him during the "do nothing" accusation, however, as well as his proposal to remain independent. Yes, as if she didn't have other places to be.

“And if, despite your contribution, nothing improves…?��

Lucifer was surprised that Crowley knew not only how to accurately describe Epicurus' key ideas, but synthesise from it. How he had used it, on the other hand? Arguing that the best things were something to work towards? Okay. Lucifer would have laughed, or cried. Maybe both. Good thing Lucifer had become a little too fatigued by that belief to bother much. She didn't let herself be fazed because of this and so simply nodded along.

At the innuendo, Lucifer's eyes widened for a split second, but a blink later and she reverted back to a neutral face. Yikes, what a whiplash. She frowned a little at whether Crowley was reaffirming about the lack of Holy water or whether Crowley was joking about her lack of tolerance towards alcohol. Fine, that was a very solid double entendre. To add to the insult, the brandy was actually very delicious. Very smooth, with woody undertones and a nice, vanilla aftertaste. Okay, she was definitely wrong. Lucifer wasn’t feeling thirsty anymore, truly, so she put the brandy back onto the table.

“Technologies. Technologies in Hell. They’re… often ineffective against the environment. The root problem isn't the bacteria, it's the shifting tectonic plates. Every time they move, ground water leaks into the corridors and the rooms. And with water comes life. Course, solving that would require a complete do-over. Believe me. I've checked with the demons who developed them. We did experiment with Roman herringbone brickwork designed to withstand earthquakes once. Didn't work.” But a huff through the nostrils implied a curiosity about whether the aforementioned technologies could finally work. “On the bright side, at least we can't get sick from it.

“Beelzebub. Yes, you worked under Beelzebub. They’re infamous for being intensive with their work ethics. Why did you not weasel yourself out? Assign yourself under a better, more relaxed Lord, then Beelzebub won't have much dominion over you anymore. All you need to do is to forge the right documents. Put someone else in your place for karma, even, you're smart enough to do that. You only get into trouble if you’re caught, after all. And if that helps with your situation? I say that it's for all the better.”

A sense of panic had risen inside of her when Lucifer realised that she could not recognise Crowley. And even more when Crowley announced who he had been— an angel who made the stars. Well. That could explain why he wanted to be so detached. He was an outlier amongst the rebels. Combined with living on Earth rather than in Hell... what if that’s why Crowley was able to survive the Holy water. Because he still was, at the core, an angel. True, all demons want closure in regards to that fact, but again, what was a starmaker doing on the wrong side?

Why? Lucifer was about to ask. Why did you fall? But at the sight of Crowley’s panicked expression, Lucifer realised just how deep of a grave she had just dug. No no no, focus. He may miss being an angel like everyone else, but he was still fallen. They could start with some sort of retribution, then move onto giving context. Yes, they could do that.

“At least the past is over and done with now. I…” come on. What should she say? "Think it was unfair.” There you go. “I think it was unfair that that had happened to you, the fall, and you have all the rights to be furious.”

There was some truth— in the beginning, Lucifer did feel guilt at leading a failed revolution. And just as she thought that she had cleared it away, it had chosen to waltz back into her life at the worst moment. Well no, she's not going to let that piece of doubt get the better of her. There was work to be done.

"Very well. Perhaps I can never see Earth through your eyes just as much as you can’t see it through mine. But supporting it is still problematic. Look at it this way. For…” a demon. But then he did not see himself completely as a demon. “Someone like you, you are very sympathetic. More than what is safe. So perhaps a story can help you reconsider this.

"You’re working on a little project called humanity. Perhaps you're tasked to work on something small, like painting the chrysalises of caterpillars, or a bigger group effort like sculpting mountains out of stone." Lucifer's gaze drifted to the ground. If only they knew. "Despite your small contribution, you understand that all this is going to pay off into a very successful project. Then the Almighty announces that you all are only granted six days to finish building the Earth. You need more time. All of you need more time. And you understand that in order to successfully finish your craft, you can't perform under such a tight deadline.”

Lucifer fiddled with her lapels. "You know, I've looked at human books out of curiosity sometimes, to see how they view this world. Alfred Russel Wallace once theorised about evolution: that the current versions of Earth's living organisms are a finalised product of several prior drafts. Well they somewhat are… just under a tight deadline. And you think to yourself: those aren't even the best examples of what we are able to produce. Some were downright rushed. What amazing things would we be able to do if we were given more time?"

She unconsciously chewed her lower lip. Maybe this was a mistake. It had always been a mistake to be this open. But the serpent had made stars once, so he was an artist of sorts. If Lucifer was lucky, perhaps he'd understand the grief too familiar to Lucifer. If Lucifer was unlucky… well. Whatever he did, it will only be another firm reminder for Lucifer to do better next time.

"And then rather than being presented a compromise, even if it was just one more day, what are you given? A war. Not only a war, but one that divided you and your friends. And, and, not only divide, but cause them to turn against you. In extreme cases, your loved ones are the ones who fight you on that battlefield, because they know that you love them too much to hurt them. They know that they'll be rewarded and become celebrated for "fighting against their personal desires in order to do what is right"." She gave out a cold laugh. Lucifer had a scar in her chest. It was the one where Michael plunged her flaming sword inside from behind her back. No matter how many corporations Lucifer swapped out of, the scar remained, a reminder of her mistake of trusting Michael too much, too soon.

“And then you and your coworkers become punished together. But not just with something temporary like being jailed, no." Lucifer pressed the cigar butt into the ashtray and miracled her good cigarettes, finally. Maybe Crowley will complain about the stench of burning cloves and yarrow, but that was beyond her concern. "Well. You know the rest."

She shot a sharp glare at the serpent, at the starmaker. "Do you see my point?"

Lucifer let out a long, quiet sigh as she sat back, her gaze on the other end of the room. “I understand your distance. I don’t understand your complicity. Well. Somewhat. Even so, I don't understand why you would want to stand for a symbol of exploited labour and Her hubris. And I know that there is no benefit for my own kind to have to stay in a dark tunnel forever when there is something better at the other side. You... could argue that the really good things, the best ones, are the pleasures we have to work for," she quoted in an ironic attempt to lighten the mood.

Lucifer sighed again and shook her head in confusion. "I bet you didn't fall for something as grave as I did, starmaker. But my point still stands, that gives you all the more rights to seek retribution for what She had done to you. Don’t you wonder whether your life could be better than it is now? Don’t you want justice, too? Don't you want respect?”