#Pretty anime like eye candy mmmmmm

[yesyourstalker]

Mahi: ..….... *sleep*...........*sleep*...........*sleep*

Neta:......*eating*.....*eating*...... Really mahi?

News anchor: it's going to be a cloudy day today folks. low humidity with a slight breeze out we do have a slight chance of rain tonight and off of this week so enjoy this day while we have it

[beep beep]

Gai(deadbeat): I'm out side

Neta: I'll be out in a sec

Neta: mahi get up you're closing the store today remember. You're late

Neta: mahi!

Mahi: mmmmmm.....

Neta: mahi!.

Mahi: I'm up! I'm up ........ ...... can I get another pain killer before I go?

Neta: *sigh*...........there might be some in the cabinet

Mahi: alright.......... which bottles is it you have tons of pills in here

Neta:*sigh*.......with the yellow label in the white bottle...*huff* let me get it ..................here, this one isn't so strong take one

Mahi: alright. Cod ......

Neta: you're already running late. Just be at work by 4:00 okay? We need a manager to close the store

Mahi: yeah yeah. let me just take a quick shower and I'm off

Neta: alright. See ya in two days

Mahi: Where are you going exactly?

Neta: it's a long complicated story that doesn't concern you. See ya

_______________________________________________

Neta:.... alright sorry for the wait....

Gai: no worries. Let's get going..

[30min into the drive]

Neta:.........................................................

Gai:.....................................................................so...how have you been.

Neta: I've been fine Dad.

Gai: that's good.... you're really going to be surprised by the house we used to live in....

Neta: hmmmmm

Gai: we had plenty of space outside we were thinking of putting a playground for you when you got older.

Neta: wow that's nice...

Gai: the house is technically one story but we have a basement and an attic

Neta: uh-huh...

Gai: it's a 4 bed and 3 bath.... Maybe you might remember this place

Neta:..................

Gai:. ..................hm

Neta:......................

_______________________________________________

Mahi: Candi, can you fill in for me I still feel hungover

Candi: No Mahi. Go to work It's only 5 hours

Mahi: Please I really don't feel like gooooing

Candi: No mahi I'm not filling in for you. You think you're the first one to go to work hungover?

Mahi: Come on Candi! Please I barely ask you for anything. Can you just do this one thing for me?

Candi:......................... Okay Mahi fine.

Mahi: love ya Candi

Candi: Let me just get out of this hospital bed and leave my baby unattended so I can fill in for your shift.

Mahi: oh

Candi: Oh no! It's no problem really. I'm pretty sure Ona will be fine without me. She's only 2 days old, she should be fine.

Mahi: Nevermind...... I'm sorry

Candi: I'm in the car now. I sure hope my stitches are healed enough for me to stand for 5 hours

Mahi: Ok I get it! I'm going to work! fuck

Candi: Great have fun at work see you in 3 weeks

Mahi: alright....bye........... congrats on the new baby

Candi: awwww thank yoooou. bye!

Mahi: *sigh*.........fuck

_______________________________________________

Merv: son don't stand behind the manatees one kick from them and you're in the hospital.

Noiji: he's right you know. that's how I lost my eye. (POP). . see?

Warabie: UGHH!

Ikkan: heheh noiji stop heheheh that's gross

Noiji: hahahahahahahahah

Merv: noiji put your eye back in and stop goofing off

Noiji: ok ok..I'll stop hehehe

Warabie: .....you were joking right? That was a joke

Merv: he was just teasing you. These girls are quite peaceful and don't startle easily but still be cautious

Warabie: alright............ how did you lose your eyes? if you don't mind me asking

Noiji: I have this thing called Polycythemia and when I was 12 I had a blood clot-

Merv: boys prep the animals before you start conversations

_______________________________________________

Warabie: hello

Mahi: hey man

Warabie: hey mahi. what are you doing?

Mahi: oh you know folding shirts stocking chokers. what are you doing?

Warabie: prepping a manatee so it can get milked

Mahi:...................cool?......... I guess......

Warabie: Yeah...... Surprisingly, it's not as bad as it sounds first we have to sanitize their nip-

Mahi: yeah no I don't want that image in my head thanks..... Candi had her baby......what color is this?

Warabie: what?!? She had her baby already!?

Mahi: Yeah her ink sac broke while she was working and it left a stain on the floor in the bathroom. Everyone's fighting about what color it is. I think it's baby blue.

Anto: It's not baby blue! You fucking idiot!!

Warabie: let me see........ Awwww the baby is turquoise.

Mahi: that is not turquoise. Turquoise has like a little bit of green in it.....right?

Naomi: No that's teal

Vinny: It's obviously aqua

Anto: No it isn't! it's sky blue! You know that if your head wasn't suck up your ass

Vinny: Ay watch yourself mother fucker, I'm not scared to go back to prison

Fugue: The color is very obvious

Anto: Oh really? What color is it since you seem to know of more than anyone else here?

Fugue: It's cyan

Vinny:............pfffthh...hehehehehhahahaha what? What is that?

Anto: Oh shut the fuck up! Are you serious!

Fugue: that shade would be considered Cyan

Anto: iT's cYaAnN!! You always have to make yourself seem like the smartest person in the fucking room.

Warabie:........…........

Mahi: I'll call you back later......... Cyan is a neon color right That's not bright enough to be cyan

_______________________________________________

[3 hours in the drive]

Neta:......................

Gai:...................

Neta:...... ...........................

Gai: have you been talking to your aunt lately?

Neta: yeah we're talking

Gai: she tell you she's talking to Eddie again

Neta: not Eddie

Gai: that's what I said

Neta: how many chances is she going to give this guy?

Gai: I don't know. I'm honestly getting sick of him showing up randomly.

Neta: is he at least sober?

Gai: hell if I know

Neta: *ugh*..............................my blood sugar I get low. I need something to eat

Gai: alright I could eat I saw a takeout place.

_______________________________________________

Gai: this Place is actually really good. I've been here before It's the best takeout I'm telling you lady oyster is the best takeout place they The crab and lobster in their house Special fried rice

Neta: ehhh ..... I wouldn't say that this is the best place. Ikkan and I used to eat at a place called jelly wok, they put a whole friend egg on top of their lo mein and fried rice

Gai:.. what color is the shrimp with lobster sauce there?

Neta: brown..... it's the good kind

Gai: oh....was it eel owned?

Neta: isopod owned actually. They snuck up to the surface 12 years ago and no one said anything so they stayed

Gai: huh....well I think this place is better

_______________________________________________

Neta:....*eating*........hm ...it's not bad......*eating*.... it's really good

Gai: see... it's good like I said

Neta: i didn't expect them to have the coconut cream shrimp you rarely see that on menus nowadays

Gai: yeah it's octarian owned..

Neta:..... I can tell it's delicious..... Surface takeout and underground takeout are so similar when it comes to rice and noodles....*eating*......but their main dishes.....*eating * we don't have soft shell crab down below....... Wish we did.........*eating*.....

Gai: .........*eating*............... welp let's get back on the road...you want to drive?

Neta: yeah

_______________________________________________

Gai:........................

Neta:.......................

Gai: how do you grow your tentacles so fast

Neta: distilled water..... I wash it in distilled water....I also stopped dying it to the root so it grows faster now

Gai: I see.... Noticing you have a little bit of pattern now

Neta: yeah... I was surprised when it started to show up again. I've been dying it for so never thought it would come back

Gai: you have the same pattern as your mother.......

Neta:..oh........ really?

Gai: yeah just like it..hm...

Neta:............................................I don't remember that much about mom.............

Gai: you were too young when she passed............hehehe she loved you tho... When you were born she showed you off to everyone... Coworkers, neighbors, the mailman ..hahaha he haha.... We couldn't get out of the hospital without her making nurses and doctors stop to look at her baby hehehe.... She'd show you swimming in your little ink tank

Neta:hehehe.....................

Gai:......................

Neta: oh shit I forgot!

Gai: what? what happened

Neta: nothing, nothing My friend just had a baby and I told her I was going to give her Cirrina's old ink take when she was a baby.......... Let's do a quick stop so I can make a phone call. We need gas anyway

_______________________________________________

Mahi:hello?

Neta: mahi go to my room for a quick sec

Mahi: I'm already in your room

Neta:........................* Inhale* * exhale*...... Okay...... Go to my closet and you'll see an ink tank that needs to go to Candi... You think you can give it to her?

Mahi: this pink backpack thingy

Neta: yes... that I also have a box of diapers and clothes for her too. but I'll give that to her later

Mahi: I don't think the hospital will allow me in. I can see

Neta: just ask for Candi

Mahi: ok......... where are you anyway?

Neta: uhhhhh? Dad?

Gai: we just made it trout mountains..*yawn*..... Another hour and and we get a motel tomorrow we'll drive to the house

Neta: we're in the mountains....... it's really nice up here..... actually...... I can see the city from up here.

Mahi: cool ...... Can I use your car?

Neta: no

Mahi: but your car has Built-In splatify and gps!

Neta: just use your phone, Go to the hospital. Ask for Candi. Give the ink tank to a nurse, she'll know what to do with it.........oh ......and take a picture of the baabbyy. I want to see her... Oh she's probably so cute

Mahi: inkfish babies are kinda ugly

Neta: what?

Mahi: nothing I see ya bye

_______________________________________________

Gai:..........*huff*.......*huff*........... I'm gonna go back to the car .......*huff*......... little light headed

Neta: dad?........ Dad!....... hey hey .....you okay?

Gai:....*cough*.... yeah.... I'm fine just thin air I guess heh.......ugh......*ssssssssssss*

Neta: something wrong with your neck?

Gai: no

Neta: let me see

Gai: Neta-

Neta:oh cod! .....dad!

Gai: I'm fine

Neta: how long have you had that sore?

Gai: only a couple of weeks it's fine I usually put a bandage on when it opens up again

Neta:. again!................*huff*............... Do you have any bandages?

Gai: in my glove compartment there should be some bandages and gauze

Neta: *hmmm*..... I'll drive the rest of the way..... you said the motel is an hour away?

Gai: yeah

_______________________________________________

Mahi: yeah hi I'm here to visit Candi.

Nurse: who?

Mahi: oh uhhh Candice

Nurse: Candice????

Mahi: Temp. Candice Temp

Nurse: Mrs. Temp okay ..... well visiting hours usually end around 11:30 but I can call her room and see if she wants any visitors

Mahi: mk...

Nurse: you can see her now

Mahi: cool . ...um... I was told to give a nurse this ink tank thing

Nurse: yep I'll take that. Thank you

_______________________________________________

Candi: look at her

Donn: she's beautiful.... and so tiny

Candi: I wouldn't say that.. pushing for 6 hours......but she's so precious

Baby: *yawn*....

Donn: awwwww.....

Mahi:...*knock*....*knock*...... hey Candi

Candi: hey Mahi....you brought the maternity tank?

Mahi: yeah. The nurse has it.............so that's your baby?

Candi: Yeah....... Who else would she belong to?

Mahi:... I don't know.........hm.... Is it supposed to look weird and squishy?

Candi: yes she's mostly ink right now.....so yeah she's supposed to look weird and squishy. ......you want to hold her?

Mahi: no

Candi: please... you'll look so cute holding the baby

Mahi: fine

Candi: awwww

Mahi: emm...................... what's her name?

Donn: Ona.

Mahi: oh.... that's nice........you can take Ona back now............ you're not gonna be here for three weeks so Seth will be taking over until you return

Candi: That's the plans

Mahi: Okay great

Nurse: The maternity tank is all set up for you ma'am

Candi: thank you

mahi: All right I'm going to Head back home..... Neta wanted me to take a picture of the baby to show him

Candi: no need I'm planning on doing a professional shoot tomorrow

_______________________________________________

Neta:........................

Gai:......*snoring*.,......*snoring*

Neta: hello?

Ikkan: hey babe. I didn't expect you to be up I was going to send a voicemail

Neta: oh.... sorry...... what are you doing

Ikkan: nothing getting ready to start my day...you?

Neta: about to go to sleep.... just made it to a motel

Ikkan: that's good, get some rest. I love you

Neta: I love you too. tell crab cakes I said hi.....................

Gai:....*snoring*..........*snoring*.....

Gai: *sigh*....

_______________________________________________

Neta:...............

Gai:.................

Neta: ................

Gai: .........you seem tense

Neta: did you even think about getting treatment before it started to spread? Did you catch it early? Did you catch it too late? What's going on dad?

Gai: do I really need to talk about this right now

Neta: Yes we do....we need to talk about this........ Why are you doing this? Why do you constantly......*sigh*..........[pulling over]

Gai: I made my decision Neta. Are you still mad about that?

Neta: you really think it's just that?! You really think I'm only mad about that! Not leaving me alone in the house by myself so you can go drink, not dropping me at my aunt's house when you couldn't deal with me, or enrolling me in the military or abandoning me in a mental hospital for 10 months!!! You missed my first wedding, you weren't there for the birth of your granddaughter and you haven't reached out for 18 fucking years!!!! and now that you're sick and dying you think it's the perfect time to reach out to me!!!

Gai...........

Neta: I just want to know why!? Why aren't you getting help or medical attention?!?!

Gai: you don't understand.........I just want to use my last moments in life to be a father and make up for lost time

Neta:.....................................HOW?! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE UP FOR! WITH SOME SHITTY ROAD TRIP?! DAD YOU ABANDON ME! PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY!! ALL THE TIMES I NEEDED YOU WENT THERE AND NOW!. ... . WHEN YOU'RE FINALLY DECIDING TO BE A FATHER FOR ONCE IT'S WHEN YOU'RE DYING!? WHEN YOU KNOW IF YOU FUCK UP YOU WON'T HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!.....

Gai: son I-

Neta: I'm a 35 year old man!! Where were you when I was 19 and got a girl pregnant!!?? I had to teach myself how to parent!! When I was in a band!? I was successful I didn't see in the crowd! My business was one news opening day not a single phone call nothing..........................*crying*........

Gai: neta

Neta: and now you're here. Things were actually working out we're talking and laughing things are going great.... I'm spending quality time with my Dad something I've wanted for years...................*sobbing*...... It just feels like you're leaving me all over again........... every time I think you're here to stay you always find a way to leave me.......*sobbing*.......or get away from me all .....the time

Gai:.....................................*sigh*......... Neta......... I'm tired ........ I really am

Neta:.......................

Gai:.................... I lost my career ... ...my friends.....my home ......my wife.......You...........I lost everything in one moment and it ........it ruined me.....

_______________________________________________

[flash back sequins]

Gai: so what we have to leave? Where do we go?! This is octoling Territory!

Inkling soldier 1: all residents within the 50 mile radius have to leave the property..

Inkling soldier 2: sorry I know this is an inconvenience but we've reclaimed this property. We will be mailing information about your new location and where you'll be placed

Gai:No! I just bought this house! this is on an octarian base!.... what about my job. How am I supposed to go to work?

Inkling soldier 2: all factories, stores and businesses have already been shut down. They closed this morning

Gai: are you kidding so I'm out of job!.........

Inkling soldier 1: my apologies sir.... I don't agree with it either

Gai:.. come on man......you can't do this to us .....we just moved here....... our kid isn't even a toddler yet. Is there any way we can stay? I don't have that much money I can try-

Inkling soldier2: the land has been reclaimed for inklings we have a copy of the treaty if you want proof

Gai:"reclaimed" it was never yours to claim!!

Sydney: Gai please

Inkling soldier 2: sir if you don't leave the premises within a month we will have to take it by force...

Inkling soldier 1: your new location will be sent to you in the mail. Have a nice day

Gai:........[SLAM]...............cod damn it COD DAMN IT! Why is always me?

Sydney: honey......hey.... we'll be ok .... things like this happen all the time we'll bounce back like we always do

_______________________________________________

Gai: alright........ Everything is packed.... Neta is asleep.... let's go......

Sydney: here it says that our new location is going to be bunker 6988

Gai: just when you think you made it to the surface they find a way to shove you back underground

Sydney: [kiss] we'll be back eventually

Inkling soldier: name?

Gai: Gai Vern

Inkling soldier: ID?

Gai: here

Inkling soldier: alright.. family of 3. ..step out of the car sir.....you too ma'am...... we'll direct you to the line for your placement

Gai:.....

Sydney:.......

Gai: ok but what about our car? What are they doing with our car?!

Inkling soldier: sir we need you to get in line

Sydney: we have everything packed in there! Our clothes, my mothers cookware, baby supplies ..... Neta! His insulin! He needs that!

Inkling soldier: we're sorry to do this folks but no outside material once you enter the bunkers medical supplies will be given to you when needed

Gai:..........

_______________________________________________

Gai: we're home.......if you can call it that

Sydney:..... it's a little small...... but we'll make do... just until we get back on our feet. You find a job and I'll work from home with Neta

Gai:.. ....

Sydney: we'll be ok....[peck]

_______________________________________________

Gai:.............................................………

Sydney:........*huff*.........*huff*..........*huff*......... ... .........*smile* ..............

Gai:...... we'll be ok.... we'll bounce back like we always do

Sydney: yeah. . .......... ..... ....... . . . .... yeah ..

_______________________________________________

Gai: it's only going to be for a couple months. Okay I just need you to watch him......

Kat: months?

Gai: he's been acting out so just put him in his room if he does something. He's going to a different school he got kicked out the last one

Neta:.................

Kat: Gai......

Gai: I just need to get back on my feet..... I got another job and I just need to save enough money and I'm settled

Kat: you've been saying that for years

Gai: well what the fuck do you want me to do!? I'm doing my best!.... just look after him I got shit to do. I come back for em when I come back for em

Neta:.............

Kat: .......*sigh*.... Alright...

_______________________________________________

Gai:........................

Neta: [packing]....

Gai:........... ................*sigh*..... your first mission with a Splatoon. You should be proud you worked hard for this

Neta: not like I had a choice did I?.......

Gai: hay it was this or boarding school and we can't afford that

Neta: *heh*......... Let's hope you can afford my funeral. You're still paying debts off for Mom's

Gai: hey! Neta!

Neta: [SLAM] .......

_______________________________________________

[end of flashback]

Gai: when I saw you in the e-ward.... I guess I couldn't face you..... I didn't know what to do....felt like I lost everything and everyone... I honestly just gave up.......

Neta:......................................*inhale*.........*exhale*...................ok......... shit........................

Gai:.....*sigh*.....we're here.....

Neta: we are?

Gai: yeah follow this path.............up here............ they must have paved the road. It's a smooth drive...........here it is............*wh*............our house........oh wow

Neta:..... This was our home?

Gai: yeah......*sniff*..... This is it...... just how we left it..........*sniff*........ nothing has changed.....

Neta:...................wow

Gai: I got the key. Just gotta jiggle it a little and.. there..........*chough*..*cough* a little dusty tho

Neta:....................................

Gai: the skylight is new along with the furniture.....well it's not really new but not ours......tho it's nice. So? what do you think?

Neta:.....................................…...................

Gai: speechless right

Neta: yeah.....hehe... you bought this?

Gai: yeah back in 78, It's in perfect condition...(Pat ..Pat)

[CRASH]

Gai: almost perfect condition.......... Just needs a little bit of a repaint and diy and it should be fine

Neta: dad there's a hole in the ceiling

Gai: just have to put in another skylight it'll be fine

Neta: sure dad. which one was my room?

Gai: right here on the left...............looks like whoever owned this place turned it in an office...we spent weeks on the nursery.....*sigh*.....at least they kept the paint color the same.........

Neta:.hm .....

Gai: the basement seems the same the carpet is a bit darker than I remember

Neta: who owned this place? After you and mom left?

Gai: it was a vacation home for the first couple of years.....an inkling family moved in and then a urchin family owned it for a while...... that's all I know.....is that black mold?

Neta:..... what are you going to do with this place?

Gai: that's up to you.

Neta: what?

Gai: It's up to you. This land and this house is yours.... It'll take around a year for it to be restored. By the time I clean it, gut it, repaired and repainted I'll be in hospice

Neta:.........................................

Gai: it's yours. you're a home owner now you should be happy

Neta:... yeah.... I am .... I'm happy....... thanks dad.......how much time do you have left?

Gai: A year and several months doctors told me.......

Neta:.....................

_______________________________________________

Ikkan: so he's not getting any treatment?

Neta: no he's made up his mind

Ikkan: I'm sorry babe....he has plenty of time

Neta: I know.....*sigh*...... I don't blame him though.........*sniff*....*sigh*

Ikkan: maybe if you spend more time with him maybe he'll reconsider

Neta: I can only hope.

Ikkan: what does the house look like?

Neta: you'd love it's that mid something you like so much

Ikkan: mid-century?

Neta: yeah yeah it's that..... It is kind of worn down though you might need to hire some people to fix it up

Ikkan: where is it located?

Neta: in the mountains like waaay in the mountains, if you drive another half an hour, you'll make it to camp triggerfish

Ikkan: so the arowana mall would beee.....uhhh........at least an hour away by train

Neta: Cirrina would have to walk down to get to the train station for school that's at least 45 minutes

Ikkan: we can install a spawn pad

Neta: yeah...... When you get back I take you to the house. Sound good?

Ikkan: yeah we can do that. I'd also like to meet your Dad if that's ok....

Neta: yeah I'd like that. Cirrina should see her grandfather at least once....

Ikkan: think he has enough time to see you get married?

Neta: I didn't ask. That's just going to be another disappointment when he doesn't show up

Ikkan: Neta... I understand........

Neta: I'll ask....... but we're putting his chair in the back

Ikkan: good because invitations go out at the end of the month. I hope you picked your best man we have 2 months left and-

Noiji: PATTY'S HAVING HER CALF!!!

Ikkan: shit ok uhhhh I'll call you.......... In the morning - my morning.. I have to go bye!........... I love you Neta!

Neta:.........ok..... love you bye.

Gai: what was that?

Neta: nothing...... Do you have anything planned for the next few months

Gai: no. why?

_______________________________________________

Anto, mahi and @fish-at-fish-fish-resort spent 30 minutes arguing over the color of the ink stain that was left on the bathroom floor....

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the Meet Ugly Prompts-38, NSFW Danbrey?

Here you go! Note: there are mentions of blood in this.

38: overhear you ordering your coffee in a coffee shop and I’m trying to place your voice when I realize that you’re the phone sex operator I’ve been calling on and off for the last few months but the realization startles me so much that I accidentally spill my drink on you and you’re pissed

“One spiced mocha, one oatmilk latte!”

Aubrey reaches for her mocha just as a painfully cute blonde in overalls grabs the latte.

“Oh, excuse me” the blonde calls over the counter, “could I get a lid, it looks like you’re all out at the station. Thanks, you’re the best.” She smiles at the teenager who hands he the lid while Aubrey tries to figure out where she’s heard “thanks, you’re the best” said that exact way before.

Oh shit. Oh shit.

She’s heard that voice every Tuesday and Friday when she calls LoveBites, the premiere service for people who really like vampires. Really, really, like vampires.

Honeysuckle, as the woman on the other end of the line calls herself, probably isn’t a vampire. Aubrey figures most of the people who work that line are just very good at pretending to be fictional monsters. She is, however, incredibly good at getting Aubrey to cum with vivid descriptions of where she’s going to sink her teeth.

“AH! Hey, watch what you’re doing.”

Aubrey snaps back to the coffee shop to discover her drink is now all over Honeysuckles shoes.

“Ohmygod, I’m, I’m so sorry.” She grabs a fistful of napkins, drops down to clean the mess of coffee and chocolate syrup from the floor. She reaches to help clean off the other woman's shoes only for her to wave her away.

“It’s fine, I got itshit” she glares as Aubrey, in her attempt to get out of her space, stands too quickly, bumping her head into Honeysuckle’s cup and sending it all over both of them.

Okay, she can totally salvage this. Right?

----------------------------------------------

“...then I just ran away.”

Duck laughs so hard on the other end of the phone that he startles Dr. Harris Bonkers.

“Oh come on, like you’ve never done something embarrassing in front of someone cute.”

“Dunno, you might have just beaten my ‘six Freudian slips in a row trying to ask ‘Dird how his weekend was.’”

“Ugggggggggggggggh.”

“It’s okay, Lady Flame” he manages to sound genuinely sympathetic through his giggles, “lots of cute folks out in the world who you ain’t spilled two cups of coffee on.”

“Yeah.” She checks the neon orange clock on the wall, “I gotta go practice my tricks for this weekend. Thanks for listening to me whine.”

“Any time, Aubrey. See you at the show.”

She gets through two tricks, including the one where Dr. Harris Bonkers disappears from a box, but she can’t focus. It’s not nerves; instead, she feels like if she got off just once, she’d stop feeling so tense and be able to run through the rest of her act without issues.

It’d be a very bad idea to call LoveBites when she spilled a drink on her favorite operator. She doesn’t feel like talking someone new through her preferences, and she knows with Honeysuckle she’s guaranteed to get off, which wasn’t always the case with previous operators. Besides, the length of her calls must be enough to pay for a replacement drink.

She grabs her phone and dials. Soon a familiar voice purrs down the line.

“Hi, Aubrey. How’s my favorite human tonight?”

“Good?”

“You don’t sound so sure about that, fireblossom.” It’s a new pet name; ever since she mentioned her stage name, Honeysuckle likes to give her ones woven through with flames.

“I, um, I'm fine?”

“Did something happen today, hot stuff?”

“Uhhhhh. Um. I, uh, I made a fool of myself in a coffee shop. I, um, I spilled my drink on a cute girl. Also hers.”

Honeysuckle goes quiet.

“I, um, I think the person I spilled them on was you.”

“..............spiced mocha?”

“Yeeeeah” Aubrey curls inwards, trying to cringe away from her phone, “I’m really sorry about your shoes. And your overalls. And your drink. I, um, I wasn’t gonna mention it but it feels, like, weird not to and I really was going to offer to replace your coffee except I was kinda worried I’d somehow spill that too. I’m, I’m sorry. I just really like talking with you.” She smiles shyly, “you’re my favorite vampire.”

Dead air, then “you really want to make it up to me with another drink?”

“Yes!” Aubrey sits up, hopeful.

“Even if the drink isn’t coffee?”

“Sure it, it can be whatever you want.”

A hungry purr that makes Aubrey reach for her trusty vibrating wand, “In that case, don’t go anywhere.”

“What? But you’re-”

The line goes dead. Aubrey stares at it, frowning. What is she supposed to do now? Did they get disconnected accidentally? Should she just call back?

She shoves the toy back in the drawer, paces back and forth between the kitchen counter and the table where her cards and flashpaper are strewn about, unsure whether she should make dinner, practice, try to get off, or just give up on everything and go to bed.

From his hutch in the corner, Dr. Harris Bonkers honks, thumps his feet in alarm, then turns his bugged-out eyes on Aubrey and thumps again as if to say, “what the fuck, why aren’t you heeding my warning?”

“Aww, it’s okay buddy. Is that cat on the fire escape again?” She looks out the window, finds nothing but some mist. Mist that’s hovering on her tiny balcony and no one elses. She blinks.

Honeysuckle is standing on the other side of the glass; she’s wearing a loose green tank top and grey yoga pants, golden hair taking on the tint of the nearby streetlights. She gives a demure wave as Aubrey throws the back door open.

“Holy fuck I thought the vampire thing was just, like, a gimmick.”

A shrug, “There’s more humans than vampires working the line, but some of us are the real deal. I know a few vampires who do it because it lets them work nights and keep an actually nocturnal schedule. But some of us do it as a side job and go out during the day. Which means we see cute girls in coffee shops who we think we might ask out who then spill drinks on us.”

“Aw beans. Wait, were you checking me out for real.”

“Uh huh. You must have been doing something super interesting on your phone to not notice.”

Aubrey resolves to delete Candy Crush immediately.

“Um, so, not that I’m not happy to see you again, but like how did you find my house?”

“We can trace numbers on our end. It’s a security thing; back when the line started some hunters kept trying to use it to go after vampires, so we needed to know where calls were coming from.”

“Blegh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, not my favorite.” She flutters her eyelashes, “any chance I could come in?”

“Absolutely, uh, here” she holds the door--which has no risk of closing without a lot of force--so the vampire can step into the apartment.

“Do I, um, should I still just call you what I always have?”

Golden eyes look her up and down hungrily, “Dani is fine.” Then she squeaks, “ooooh, hi there little guy, can I say hi? Oop, okay, some other time.” Dani smiles as the rabbit ducks into his covered box, “animals can be kind of skittish around me at first. Which makes sense.” When she turns to look at Aubrey, her fangs are visible.

“Hooboy that’s, that’s, uh-”

Dani steps back, “I can back off. I just, um, I thought since we’re both into each other and you were, um, already in the mood for some lovebites maybe we could -”

“NoItotallywantto!” Aubrey grabs her hand, pulling her towards the bedroom, “sorry, the fangs are apparently an insta-horny button in my brain.”

“Good to know” Dani spins her by her shoulders and pushes her back onto the bed, fangs now on full display, “take your clothes off, fireblossom.”

Aubrey thanks herself from two hours ago for changing into her pajamas so she doesn’t have much to rid herself of. When she gets her shirt off, Dani is down to her underwear, green boyshorts showing off her legs and completely distracting Aubrey from any unwelcome self-consciousness.

“Mmmmmm” Dani crawls onto the bed with her, “I thought you were cute before but fuck, you look incredible like this.”

“Thanks” Aubrey’s breath catches as Dani bumps their noses together, “can, can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

She raises up on her elbows, mapping Dani’s mouth with her own. Aubrey’s kissed plenty of people in her life, and there have only been a few where the gesture felt like coming home, like she was slotting against a body that was meant to be with hers. All of those pale in comparison to the way Dani’s body seems to meld with hers. She gasps when the vampire cups her right breast, teasing the nipple with her thumb as she eases Aubrey all the way down. Her other hand finds her face, traces from there to the base of her neck, touches moving from light to sharp as she curves her nails down her skin.

When the fangs scrape her sternum she moans. Dani snickers against her, kisses and nuzzles her way down her chest, sighing when Aubrey threads her fingers into her hair.

“So, my pretty snack, what were you going to ask me for when you called?”

“I, I was kinda hoping we’d talk about you eating me out.”

A kiss above her belly button, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“OhgoodOH, ohfuck” she opens her legs wider as Dani dips her head between them, “ahhhn, please, a little higher, ohfuck, god.” Her hips twitch as Dani sucks her clit. There’s a muffled laugh as two fingers tease her cunt.

“Wow, you really do like the fangs.”

“I mean yeah, but that’s more because you’re really hotOH, ohyesfuckthat’sgood.” She moans as Dani presses two fingers in, stroking and rubbing in time with the vampire’s increasingly wanton groans.

“Fuck, Aubrey, that’s it, you look so pretty like this, be a good girl and cum for me.”

“Trying” Aubrey squeaks as Dani laves her tongue across her clit and curls her fingers inside her, “fuck, right there, yeah, ohyes, that, just like that.” She squeezes her eyes shut, clinging to Dani’s head and to the hand gripping her thigh. When she cums it’s intense enough that she’s terrified she’s going to kick Dani accidentally, but the vampire simply holds her thighs down, lapping at her until her moans die down.

“Fireblossom?”

“Uh huh?”

“You still owe me a drink. Whatever I want, remember?”

“Yeah? Oh, oh fuck yeah.” She squirms in excitement as Dani drops to the floor and pulls Aubrey towards her until she’s able to hook her knees over her shoulders.

Dani pushes stray hairs from her face, “If you start feeling lightheaded, tell me okay?”

Aubrey gives a thumbs up, winces at how dorky it is, then giggles when Dani cranes forward to kiss it.

The vampire kisses a line from her right knee to her inner thigh, sighing loudly when she noses a certain patch of skin.

“Perfect.”

Fangs sink into her skin and Aubrey clamps her hands over her mouth to avoid waking the neighbors. It’s a sharp, precise pain, flooding her body with the urge to lay back and let Dani take her fill. Then the teeth retreat and Dani’s tongue takes their place, licking the red rivulets and moaning as she sucks at the punctured skin.

“Such a perfect snack.” Dani looks up at her, heavy-lidded and scarlet-mouthed.

“Dani” Aubrey reaches for her, not sure what she’s even asking for.

The vampire takes her hand, rubs it against her cheek, “Does it still feel okay?”

“It feels so good.”

Dani smiles, turns her head to pierce the left thigh, Aubrey moaning weakly as she drinks from her. The moan is echoed, and when she manages to lift her head she sees Dani’s hand is not between her own legs.

“Oh god that’s hot.”

The vampire grins at her, “I get dinner, you get a show. It’s perfect.”

Aubrey watches her lick the bites until they cease bleeding, her moans pitching higher as she fucks herself, getting off on the taste of Aubrey’s blood-tinted skin. Then she tenses, tipping her head back, fangs glinting in the light from the windows, and gasps Aubrey’s name as she cums.

Then a blonde head rests on her knee. Aubrey sits up, Dani’s hair as they catch their breath.

“I, um, I should clean you up. Do you have band-aids?”

“Bathroom.”

Dani stands, cheeks much pinker than before, and returns a minute later with the Pokemon band-aids that Aubrey bought solely for the Charizard ones. She wipes her legs with a warm hand towel, gently pats the bandages into place, stealing giddy glances at Aubrey the entire time.

“You know that fucking ruled, right?” Aubrey rests her head on her shoulder when Dani joins her on the bed.

“Glad you liked it, fireblossom. Can’t believe I’m lucky enough that the hottest human I’ve met in years has a thing for vampires.

“Pretty sure I just have a thing for you. Which, um, I mean this can totally stay casual but, um, do you want to go out sometime?”

Dani nods, leans in for another kiss. She must have borrowed Aubrey’s mouthwash, since she tastes of mint instead of iron.

“I’d love to, Aubrey. But, um, let’s avoid coffee shops for awhile?”

“Good plan.”

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[softbeeping-blog]

What is the most well drawn anime u have seen & recommend? I can't put a questionn but mm could reply or msg? Iwant to watch Anime