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vapehk1 · 7 months ago

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Cake Pen Vape: Your Guide to the Sweetest Puffs

Welcome to the world of vaping, where every puff is a statement! If you're just starting out, you might feel like you've stepped into a party where everyone knows the moves except you. Don’t worry! We’re here to introduce you to the 'cake pen'—a vape device so simple, even your grandma could figure it out (but please, let's keep the party youthful). This guide will break down everything you need to know about cake pens, from A to Z, so you can vape like a pro without reading a manual the size of "War and Peace." So buckle up, and prepare to be schooled in the art of the cake pen, your new best friend in the world of vaping. What is a Cake Pen? First off, let's get this straight: a cake pen isn't something you use at a bake sale. Nope, this handy little gadget is your golden ticket to the vaping world. It's sleek, stylish, and super easy to use, making it a prime choice for vaping newbies. Cake pens are known for their simplicity and efficiency. They are usually compact, resembling a small pen (hence the name), and are pre-filled or refillable with your choice of e-liquid. In the realm of vaping devices, cake pens stand out for their portability and fuss-free maintenance. Ideal for those who value convenience, these devices make it easy to switch flavors or cartridges without the mess. They're typically draw-activated, meaning you just inhale to get started—no buttons, no complications, just pure vaping bliss. Perfect for beginners, cake pens offer a straightforward introduction to vaping without the need to nerd out on technical specs. Setting Up Your Cake Pen Now, setting up your cake pen is as easy as pie. Start by charging your device—most cake pens come with a USB charger that you can plug into any standard port. Wait for it to fully charge; patience is a virtue that pays off with the perfect first puff. Once it's charged, it's simply a matter of attaching your cartridge or filling it up with the e-liquid of your choice, if it's a refillable model. Once everything is assembled, take a moment to admire your new tool of the trade. Your cake pen doesn’t have any complicated settings or configurations. It’s designed to be as straightforward as a traffic light—green means go! Simply draw on the mouthpiece, and it will automatically heat up the e-liquid to produce that delightful vapor. No buttons, no dials, just inhale and enjoy the magic. Enjoying Your First Puff Remember the excitement of riding a bike for the first time? Taking your first puff from a cake pen is similarly exhilarating, minus the scraped knees. Start with a small, gentle inhale to get a feel for the vapor. It’s smooth, flavorful, and surprisingly simple. Let the flavors dance on your tongue and enjoy the moment—it’s all part of the vape experience. As you get more comfortable, you can experiment with different inhaling techniques—maybe a longer, deeper drag or a quick, satisfying hit. Each style offers a unique experience, and finding your favorite is part of the fun. Just like learning to cook your signature dish, it might take a few tries to perfect your technique, but the journey is just as rewarding as the destination. Maintenance and Safety Tips Keeping your cake pen in top shape is key to ensuring a consistent and enjoyable vaping experience. Regular cleaning is a must—just a simple wipe down with a clean cloth and occasional cleaning of the mouthpiece and connection points. This prevents buildup and ensures your device works smoothly every time you take a puff. Safety is paramount in the world of vaping. Always use the charger that comes with your device to avoid any mishaps. Store your cake pen away from water and extreme temperatures, and most importantly, out of reach of children and pets. By following these simple guidelines, you’ll ensure your vaping journey is safe, enjoyable, and long-lasting. Conclusion In our entertaining guide, "Cake Pen Vapes: Your Guide to the Sweetest Puffs!", we simplify the world of vaping for beginners by introducing the cake pen—a user-friendly vaping device ideal for those just starting their vaping journey. We cover everything from what a cake pen is and how to set it up, to taking your first puff and maintaining your device. With a focus on humor and ease, the guide explains how to charge and operate the cake pen, enjoy vaping with minimal hassle, and maintain the device for long-term use. Safety tips ensure that new vapers can enjoy their experience without accidents, making it the perfect introduction for anyone curious about vaping without getting overwhelmed by technical jargon. FAQs 1. What is a cake pen vape? A cake pen vape is a type of electronic cigarette designed for simplicity and ease of use, making it ideal for beginners. It resembles a pen, hence the name, and is either pre-filled or refillable with e-liquid. These devices are often draw-activated, meaning they work simply by inhaling from the mouthpiece without the need to press any buttons. 2. How do I charge my cake pen vape? Charging a cake pen vape is straightforward. Most cake pens come with a USB charger that you can plug into any standard USB port. Just connect your device to the charger, and a light will typically indicate when it's charging and when the charge is complete. It's important to use the charger provided with your device to avoid any damage. 3. Can I refill my cake pen with any e-liquid? Whether you can refill your cake pen depends on the model. Some cake pens are designed to be used with pre-filled cartridges, while others are refillable. For refillable models, you can use any e-liquid of your choice. However, it’s advisable to check the manufacturer's recommendations regarding the type of e-liquid best suited for your specific model to ensure optimal performance. 4. How often should I clean my cake pen vape? Regular cleaning is crucial to maintain the performance and longevity of your cake pen. It’s recommended to wipe down the exterior with a clean cloth every few days and clean the mouthpiece and connection points more thoroughly at least once a week. This helps to prevent residue buildup and ensures a smooth vaping experience. 5. Is vaping with a cake pen safe? Vaping with a cake pen is generally considered safe when done responsibly. It’s important to follow basic safety tips such as using the correct charger, storing the device away from water and extreme temperatures, and keeping it out of reach of children and pets. As with any vaping device, understanding and adhering to the manufacturer’s guidelines and local regulations regarding vaping is crucial for safety. 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sunriseintropicisle · 3 years ago

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HUJI photo dump

I was just cleaning up my phone and transferring and deleting photos on my phone to make it tidier and freed the space, and I bumped into the HUJI folder in my gallery, which consist of pretty random image from the past 2 years. I occasionally take photos with HUJI as it has the enhancing effect and somewhat make the images looks better than my actual phone camera. So here are some photos I’ve categorized to the event they are in. One of the way to remember how the pre-Covid life looks like to us—as at this point, 1,5 years in, we honestly starting to forget, right?

Fig. 1 — the latest quarantine activities.

Clockwise: (1) Newly opened TUKU store in Rawamangun; (2) Jigsaw puzzle as my latest obsession; (3) Writing journal that has helped me through growing up life; (4) Perfectly made ramen noodle as the complimentary for my home made ramen dish.

Fig. 2 — home made food in the early of quarantine

Well it was when we were still excited on what the quarantine have in store for us, the newly-shifted lifestyle, where everyone suddenly became the expert in cooking (me inclued).

PS. After awhile I got weary and no one at home eat my food.

Clockwise: (1) The DoubleTree’s cookies that made its entrance to became one of the popular bakes during quarantine; (2) Croutons and bread pudding I made from the leftover white bread; (3) Nachos and its queso dip my mom made (and store for our snacking amenities for weeks); (4) Banana bread and muffin with oat crumbs on top.

Fig. 3 — foods I enjoyed pre-Covid

Well, these are the photos taken before Covid so of course I can only star at the picture of these now that we shall not get together with fellas.

Clockwise: (1) Some platter foods from everyone’s favorite humble restaurant Toodz House; (2) the famous, all over the world Swedish Meatball from IKEA; (3) Complimentary Starbucks drink on Wednesday where I usually treat myself of any food/beverage PLUS my religious solitude time; (4) my one last hang out karaoke in the Korean restaurant celebrating the closing of on of our project—loved the Korean chicken so much, duh, of course.

Fig. 3 — Japan Trip in 2019

Me and friends’ impulsive trip to Japan where we booked the ticket during our lunch time because there was a sale flight, we got really cheap price for our flight to Japan, only realizing close to the D-Day that everything else is expensive (Ha!). Nonetheless, I guess I would not land my feet in Japan had it not because of our impulsiveness.

Clockwise: (1) Shinjuku Gyoen Park; (2) Our flight in JAL airlines where I just found out that soba taste really good; (3) Full day of bike rides in Kyoto—really love the city, and the decision to stroll around with bicycle was the right decision; (4) Night stroll in Tokyo.

I did not remember much about this Japan trip. We went there with very little plan and as basically we four are not the person whose into anything ‘hype’ so I don’t remember us strolling on a really touristy place. We did not eat in the famous eatery either, and nor did we take lots of picture. (lol so what was the point of the trip? Just chill I might say).

Fig. 4 — PEOPLE

As much as I enjoy my own company, but it is no joke how being mostly on my own really take a toll on my wellbeing. That being said, I still need people around me, and looking back the above photos, these are some people I befriend with over the years.

Clockwise: (1) My desk mate since the first day I joined my late firm till the day I resigned early this year. We enjoyed talking a LOT and more of gossiping lol; (2) Mila, my kosan friend whom I know since freshmen, we happened to live two rooms away from each other in kosan and that’s where the bond started. To date we still chat occasionally and even we share a Tumblr page (that has been long down); (3) Sending off my partner to study which mark the one year journey of our long distance relationship. PS. Now has been back for almost a year and the LDR part was a relatively easy ride for us, compare to what the following months after he’s back had in store for us 🤪; (4) Another work colleague, this photo taken on the night we went karaoke at Jaya Pub as a farewell to our other friend.

So yeah, it was life before WFH happens, before wearing mask, and before we had to distance ourselves in order to keep us safe. Longing to the day I can dine out and chat with friends again, even throw a hug when we see them (can I believe that I am writing this???).

#mentaridaily #mentariwrites #hujicam #precovid #daily life #huji #foods

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zrtranscripts · 4 years ago

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Radio Abel, Season Eight

Part 5 of 5

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I don't know if it's just because New Canton's at the center of the government in the UK -

ZOE CRICK: I'm still getting used to that.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: - but now that I think about it, people do seem to be putting more effort into the way they dress these days.

ZOE CRICK: I've noticed that. For a while, I thought it was because people wanted to spruce themselves up for the royal visits, but King Jamie hasn't been visiting as much since Amelia left for... for whatever it is she's doing, and people are still looking rather flamboyant.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: One of the cooks makes his own hats out of food wrappers.

ZOE CRICK: Exactly. People are having fun, and they're less worried about looking cool than they were before the apocalypse.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I think those hats are cool!

ZOE CRICK: That's the point. Taste is much more subjective now. [laughs] We don't have TV or newspapers, and it still takes half an hour to send a picture over ROFFLEnet, so it's harder to follow trends. People are using their imaginations instead.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Speaking of imagination, here's a track by someone with lots of it.

ZOE CRICK: Maybe Z-Day’s made self-expression more important, not less. We can't control the V-types, and we might be confined to our settlements most of the time, but we can decide how we look, so people go to great lengths to execute their vision. It's like how women in pre-apocalyptic prisons used to improvise cosmetics out of Smarties and shoe polish.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: How do you know what women used to do in prison?

ZOE CRICK: Oh, I was talking to Maxine about it.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Dr. Maxine has been to prison?!

ZOE CRICK: No, she... [sighs] That's not the point. I'm saying that for a lot of people, clothes, hair, and makeup are important creative outlets now that we're restricted in other ways. They also help people feel normal, now that -

PHIL CHEESEMAN: - now that V-types are roaming across the UK.

ZOE CRICK: Exactly.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [sighs] Here's a song to make us all feel a bit more normal.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Imagine if Vogue was still in print. Do you think they'd employ zombie models?

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, with headlines like, “Gray is the New Black.” [laughs] They might struggle to find advertisers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Okay, business side might be a bit tricky to sort out. What about the editorial?

ZOE CRICK: They'd have post-apocalyptic fashion tips.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “The Best Looks to Scavenge this Season.”

ZOE CRICK: “Make Your Own Makeup.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “10 Ways to Wear a Sports Bra.”

ZOE CRICK: Not sure about that one, Phil.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Okay, yeah, there’s probably just one way to wear a sports bra.

ZOE CRICK: As far as I know.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: The other ideas were good, though. Well, maybe we should think of other style tips for our listeners.

ZOE CRICK: Why not? [laughs] Here's a song to get our creative juices flowing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Listeners, Zoe and I tried to come up with fashion tips, but this isn't our area of expertise.

ZOE CRICK: Speak for yourself.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: All your ideas involve drawing cats on things.

ZOE CRICK: That's not true. I also suggested embroidering cats on things.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: My point, listeners, is that maybe Zoe and I could use your help. Send us your post-apocalyptic fashion tips.

ZOE CRICK: We'll be sharing them right after this.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Welcome back to Radio New Hope, where we're sharing tips on how to stay stylish in the zombie apocalypse.

ZOE CRICK: A lot of the suggestions we've had so far come from runners who need to be able to move quickly, evade zoms, and stay comfortable on long runs.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You might think, as I did only a few minutes ago, that running is not compatible with expressing yourself through fashion, but you'd be wrong.

ZOE CRICK: Indeed, there are lots of ways to have fun with your running gear that don't affect speed or safety. Even if you're out by yourself and no one else can see you, a little bit of flare can lift your mood and make you feel more like yourself.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Running On Sunshine suggests, “Novelty shoe laces are a fun way of adding color to your running outfit. You can often loot them from the children's section of sports or shoe shops, but they're also easy to make from a sturdy ribbon. Use a bit of tape or wax for the aglet.”

ZOE CRICK: Just be sure to tuck your new laces into your shoes the next time you visit the kitten pen.

ZOE CRICK: Today on Radio New Hope, we're taking suggestions on how to jazz up your running gear.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: This next step is one for more creative runners, and it comes from Art Rate.

ZOE CRICK: Art Rate?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah, like heart rate, because they're a runner, but also an artist.

ZOE CRICK: [sighs] I don't know if we should be reading out people's usernames. We're just encouraging bad puns.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: This episode is about self-expression, Zoe, whatever form it takes, even terrible puns.

ZOE CRICK: Hmm. What does Art Rate have to say for themselves?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “Decorate your running outfit with permanent marker, embroidery, and whatever embellishments you can get your hands on. As long as your number is still clearly visible to your comms operator, there's no limit to what you can do. Wearing something that truly reflects your personality can give you motivation on the most difficult runs.”

ZOE CRICK: That's a nice idea. I'll forgive the pun.

ZOE CRICK: Progressive Runner writes, “Hi Phil, where did you get a Dream Theater T-shirt? I'm also a fan of prog metal and have been on several runs to find old gig venues to see if there are any T-shirts left. Unfortunately, all I've found are hordes of zombified metal heads. I used to love a good mosh pit before the apocalypse, but it's just not the same when everyone's trying to bite you.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, first off Progressive Runner, please stop putting your life at risk in pursuit of merch. It's not worth it, and that's not what the bands would have wanted.

ZOE CRICK: Especially since they no longer make money from T-shirt sales.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Exactly, which is why I don't mind letting you know that my T-shirt is a fake. Before the apocalypse, touring musicians relied on the merch stand to support themselves, but now that most of them are dead, it's no longer unethical to make knock-offs.

ZOE CRICK: Did you make your T-shirt, Phil?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: One of Amelia's stylists did. She's very handy with the fabric paints.

ZOE CRICK: Oh? What did you give her in exchange?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I had to promise to play this next song.

ZOE CRICK: What's our next fashion tip, Phil?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, it's more of a PSA. “Hi Phil and Zoe, I run Support Network, a sports bra exchange service. We travel between settlements to provide runners with the best fitting sports bras. Simply visit our message board on ROFFLEnet, tell us which sizes your settlement has and which they need. It might take us a while to get to you, but we have a huge selection of style and color in every size. For some reason, post-apocalyptic Britain has no shortage of sports bras.” That's a great initiative, don't you think, Zoe? [keyboard clicks] Zoe?

ZOE CRICK: Sorry. I was just posting a request to their message board. Fellow sports bra wearers of New Canton, I suggest you do the same.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: And while you do that, here's a song about sharing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Our next post-apocalyptic style tip comes from In Stitches, who says, “Here are just a few reasons why knitting is one of the most valuable skills you can learn in the post apocalypse.”

ZOE CRICK: “One, you don't necessarily need to send runners off in search of equipment. Knitting needles can be whittled from sticks, and if your settlement has sheep, wool is a renewable resource.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “Two, the act of knitting has many cognitive, therapeutic, and - if you join a knitting circle - social benefits.”

ZOE CRICK: “Three, designing knitting patterns can be a great creative outlet, and since they can be conveyed using just symbols, they can be quickly shared over ROFFLEnet.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “Four, larger needles can double as anti-zom weapons, as long as you aim for the eyes and remember to clean the blood off them before you get back to your knitting. The last thing you want is to make an infectious jumper by mistake.”

ZOE CRICK: That's, uh, resourceful. We'll be back with more fashion right after this.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: If knitting's not your thing, our next correspondent has a great idea for making some stylish winter clothes. “Next time you're out on a supply run, make a detour to a toy shop and pick up some plushies. A little reverse taxidermy - "

ZOE CRICK: Oh no!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Plushies aren't real animals, Zoe.

ZOE CRICK: I know, but I couldn't look one in the eye and take out its stuffing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh... our less sensitive listeners can use this method to generate bundles of fake fur, a versatile fabric that'll help you stay warm and, thanks to the pre-apocalyptic trend for cuddly unicorns, colorful.

ZOE CRICK: I think I'll stick with the knitting.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: If it makes you feel any better, no plushies were harmed in the making of this next song.

ZOE CRICK: Polished in the Apocalypse says that a manicure adds a splash of color to your running look without impeding your movement.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I'm surprised we didn't think of that one ourselves. One of Amelia's first acts as prime minister was to open a nail bar at New Canton.

ZOE CRICK: She was accused of extravagance at first, but it's actually become a community hub. People go there to relax and come away feeling a little more, well, polished.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I've only just noticed, Zoe, each one of your nails is a different color.

ZOE CRICK: I couldn't choose. Amelia reserves all the Chanel nail polish for herself, but there are still plenty of other varieties for the rest of us.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, the rest of us in New Canton, maybe. What about everyone else?

ZOE CRICK: Until Amelia makes nail bars mandatory for all settlements, why not grab a few bottles of nail polish the next time you're on a low stakes meds run to a chemist? Just be sure to apply it in a well-ventilated area.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: A word of caution now from Nine Fingers, who says, “Jewelry adds sparkle to any outfit and can be a great way of expressing your individuality, especially if you make your own. However, think twice before wearing it on a run. Necklaces are easy for zoms to grab, earrings can be torn out, and rings are a risk if you're using weapons. Trust me.”

ZOE CRICK: Oh dear.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Listeners, if you're fond of jewelry, maybe keep it for when you're safe in your settlement.

ZOE CRICK: That’s sound advice. Also - naming no names, Runner Thirty-Seven - don't scavenge jewelry off dead zombies, no matter how on fleek it is. You're asking to get infected. And on that note...

ZOE CRICK: It's not just jewelry that you can enjoy when you're not at risk of zombie attacks.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Loads of our listeners have written in to suggest items you can use if you'd like a more flamboyant settlement look.

ZOE CRICK: Silk flowers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Craft supplies.

ZOE CRICK: Stickers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Fridge magnets.

ZOE CRICK: Christmas decorations.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Basically, listeners, as long as you're not using something that might be better deployed for a more practical purpose, there's no limit to the fun you can have with your personal style.

ZOE CRICK: Speaking of fun, here's a song that always puts a smile on my face.

ZOE CRICK: Our last suggestion comes from Fairy Zom Mother, who writes, “No one has space for a large wardrobe anymore. That doesn't mean you can't wear something special if the occasion demands. It's nice to dress up once in a while, so why not implement a share and swap system at your settlement so people can borrow clothes, shoes, and accessories?”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Wonder how long it would take to get that set up in New Canton. I've actually got a special evening planned soon.

ZOE CRICK: Ooh, is it a date?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Maybe? I'll tell you all about it during this next song.

ZOE CRICK: Um, I think the orange ones might be a bit much.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh, and we're live.

ZOE CRICK: Sorry about that, listeners. Recently we've learned that there's a way for everyone to express themselves through fashion, even in the post-apocalypse, but we'd like to add that not everyone has to.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's right. Some people don't even bother to brush the cat hair off their jumper before they come to work, and that's just fine.

ZOE CRICK: The cat hair is a deliberate part of my aesthetic, Phil. Our point is that everyone's priorities have changed. Most dress codes died with the apocalypse and few of us mourn them. You're no longer likely to be turned down for a job because you couldn't get your hands on an expensive suit for the interview. Nowadays, people are valued for doing what they do best.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: And on that note, let Zoe and I do what we do best and play you a song.

ZOE CRICK: Until next time, listeners.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hello again, citizens.

ZOE CRICK: Phil, before you say anything else, there's something important we need to discuss.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Is this about getting a pet for the show again? Because I thought we settled that.

ZOE CRICK: We haven't, but no, this is about something very upsetting I found on ROFFLEnet today.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh, the Radio New Hope fanfic? Hmm. There's one of you and me being turned into zoms on air that is both deeply disturbing and shockingly well-written.

ZOE CRICK: Again, no. What I found is a thread on ROFFLEnet called “Radio New Hope Has Changed” full of people - well, full of two people - who think we've lost our touch. Look, Just_Saying_108 says, “It breaks my heart. Zoe and Phil aren't what they used to be.” And then Radio_No_Hope says, “It all started when they got into bed with Amelia.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I'm assuming in my case they mean metaphorically.

ZOE CRICK: Phil, we need to take this seriously. If our listeners aren't happy, we're not happy.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: It's only two people, Zoe.

ZOE CRICK: That's two too many.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Actually, I've got an idea.

ZOE CRICK: Wonderful, I knew you'd think of something. Tell me right after this.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Listeners, some of you think we've changed, and while change can be good, we want to make sure we're still giving you the content you deserve.

ZOE CRICK: That sounds vaguely threatening.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's why we're going to crowdsource our content again. I have reopened our inbox for suggestions on what Radio New Hope should do next. We're open to anything. Except turning zom on air.

ZOE CRICK: Phil, nobody's going to ask for that.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You haven't seen the comments on that Radio New Hope fanfic. Anyway, listeners, please send in your thoughts. Who knows? Your idea might become our next segment.

ZOE CRICK: We did get some great suggestions last time. It'll be good to round up some new ones.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Exactly! Now everyone put your thinking caps on, and here's a song to get you in a creative mood.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: All right, listeners, it's time to open the suggestion box and find out what you'd like to hear on Radio New Hope... Huh.

ZOE CRICK: Is that it? I thought we'd get a few more suggestions.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, maybe it's a sign we're not so bad after all.

ZOE CRICK: No, we can't get complacent. Some listeners aren't happy with us.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Two listeners.

ZOE CRICK: It's just that with all that ROFFLEnet talk of us having changed, I thought we'd get a bit more feedback. Still, we'll go with what we've got.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: We need to drumroll first.

ZOE CRICK: Seriously?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: There are few things in life that can’t be improved with a drumroll. Scientific fact.

ZOE CRICK: Fine. Drumroll, please.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [mutters rapidly] Drumroll drumroll drumroll drum drum drum drum drum cymbal!

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Zom_Truther writes, “What if you ate some of that red fungus live on air? We know the prime minister is lying about the danger and hoarding it for herself.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, that's a bad idea. What did I say about us not turning zom on air?

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, Truther, we're not going to eat red fungus. Amelia isn't lying... about that, at least.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's right. And uh, please don't test your theory out for yourself.

ZOE CRICK: We'll be back with more of your hopefully less reckless suggestions after this song.

ZOE CRICK: Time for another look at our surprisingly meager suggestion box. Come on now, we know you have great ideas, so send them in. This one from Zombologist. “I love that doctor advice show - ”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: The Drs. Maxine and Paula one? Us, too. Listeners, if you're not tuning in to that show as well as ours, you're missing out.

ZOE CRICK: Definitely. Anyway, the letter says, “I love that doctor advice show, but they only focus on the bodies and minds of the living. What about the study of zombies? I think you should bring a zombie into the studio and do some tests. I have a few experiments in mind. See attached for details.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh... Oh, that's... Was that diagram the right way up? How would that even work?

ZOE CRICK: I'm not sure, but I think those are electrodes, or possibly poisonous snakes? Either way, Zombologist, we have a pretty strict no zoms in the studio policy.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: What can we do? Hands tied.

ZOE CRICK: Much like the zom in that illustration, I think.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah, that's about as close as I want to come to that scenario. Let's clear it from our minds with this song.

ZOE CRICK: Well listeners, a few more suggestions trickled in during that last song.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: We are seriously considering some of the less extreme ones, such as an interview with King Jamie or a Z-Day retrospective.

ZOE CRICK: This one is from Inquiring_Mindz - with a Z, naturally. “What about a show that gives a look at the human side of politics?”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: So far, so good. At least there are no zombies involved.

ZOE CRICK: “I'd love for us to get a closer look at Prime Minister Spens’ flat. It must be lovely. She has marvelous taste, after all.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Let me see that. [paper rustles] “You could describe the art, the architecture, any documents that are lying around, the paint, the paint colors, any plans you might find in the drawers...”

ZOE CRICK: Come on now, Inquiring, you're asking us to spy on Amelia. Even if I did do that - which, of course, I wouldn't - there's no way I'd out myself by sharing it on air.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: How restrained of you.

ZOE CRICK: What can I say? I prefer not to incur the wrath of the most powerful woman in the country. Nice try, Inquiring, but we're broadcasters, not espionage agents. And that's all of them, right?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Right. Right, thanks to everyone for your suggestions. Uh, even the more... creative ones. Let's celebrate your ingenuity with this next number.

ZOE CRICK: You'll never guess what.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I'm sure I won't.

ZOE CRICK: You weren't a very funny child, were you? I went back on ROFFLEnet to see if that thread had more positive things to say about us now that we've been through the suggestion box. However, turns out I misinterpreted the whole thing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: So people don't think Radio New Hope has changed for the worse?

ZOE CRICK: They do, but it's not the broadcasts they think have changed, it's us. They think we're doppelgängers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Like Zoe and Phil's evil twins?

ZOE CRICK: Exactly. It's not clear if they think we've been brainwashed into thinking we're real Zoe and Phil or if we're in on it, but Radio_No_Hope says, “There's no way Amelia would allow a free press unless she could control it, and that means controlling Phil and Zoe.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, they do have a point, but ci-ti-zens, do not fear, we have not been replaced by ourselves.

ZOE CRICK: How do you know?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: What do you mean, how do I know? I know who I am.

ZOE CRICK: Or do you? What if you just think you do? Listeners, we'll get to the bottom of it right after this next song.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Let me get this straight. You think I could have been replaced by a double without you noticing? You noticed when I changed my hair parting last month.

ZOE CRICK: Now that I think about it, that could have been a sign you were Phil 2.0.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hmm. If that's the case, anything could be a sign. How do I know you're not Evil Zoe?

ZOE CRICK: My name's still spelled with a Z. Evil Zoe would definitely swap out the Z for an X... I think.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You're not sure?

ZOE CRICK: Radio No Hope said it. There could be brainwashing involved.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: So let me get this straight. You think Amelia found doppelgängers of us?

ZOE CRICK: Or cloned us. Always a possibility.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Of course, and then she brainwashed said doppel-clones because - ?

ZOE CRICK: Because she wants to control the press. Although there might be an even more devious reason. We are talking about Amelia, after all. I'll think it over during this next song.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Have you figured out why Amelia might possibly want to replace us with brainwashed clones?

ZOE CRICK: No. I mean, yes, but one of the reasons only works if we meet the clones, and the other one requires mint and a trampoline. I wonder if the fact that I can't figure it out is a symptom of the brainwashing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's convenient.

ZOE CRICK: And I wonder when it began. Do you think it all started when Amelia gave us this hideous red furniture?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Green.

ZOE CRICK: What?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hideous green furniture.

ZOE CRICK: I don't know what you're talking about. The furniture is red. Maybe new Phil is colorblind?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You're kidding, right? It’s green.

ZOE CRICK: Am I kidding, or are you different now?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You know what? There's an easy way to settle this. I'm going to ask someone who has been in here what color the furniture is. Don't you move. Just, uh, play a song and I'll be right back.

[door opens]

ZOE CRICK: [giggles] Now that he's gone, listeners, between you and me, the couches are definitely green. I know that was a tiny bit rotten of me, but I couldn't resist. While we wait for Phil's triumphant return, here's a song that any version of me would love.

[door opens]

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh my God, you're right.

ZOE CRICK: Right about what?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: About the doppelgängers. Everyone confirmed it. The furniture in here's red, but I see green, so I must be colorblind now. Maybe all clones are.

ZOE CRICK: Wait, who did you ask?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, Nadia, Runner Thirty-Seven. They said it's red. Now that I'm a clone, I wonder if I still like the same foods. Remind me, how do I feel about jam?

ZOE CRICK: You're... you're joking, right? Because the couches are green. I was just pulling your leg.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Wait, so you see them as green, too? Maybe we're both clones.

ZOE CRICK: I guess. I -

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Or maybe we're from an alternate reality, one where people don't play pranks on their lovely radio cohosts because they might get paid back in spades!

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] You - you almost had me going there! [sighs] Well, I guess I might have deserved it. A little.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: A little?

ZOE CRICK: Oh, no comment. All I can say is that I'm happy in this universe with the best cohost ever. This next song is for you, Phil, because you're one of a kind.

ZOE CRICK: That whole business with the doppelgängers has got me thinking, Phil.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Not again.

ZOE CRICK: No, not that we're clones or anything like that. I've been thinking about conspiracy theories. Do you think there are more of them now after Z-Day?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Probably. Look at all the things we've gone through. Uh, Sigrid, Moonchild, the Curly Wurly shortage. That's enough to make anyone a little paranoid.

ZOE CRICK: I don't know. I think maybe it's the opposite. All of the conspiracies since Z-Day were eventually exposed. Even if we were replaced by clones, someone would find out and tell people about it.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You have a point. Kind of reassuring in a way.

ZOE CRICK: I hope so. For the concerned ROFFLEnet folks, don't worry. If Phil and I are ever replaced by clones, you'll find out about it soon enough, probably from someone at Abel.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Very true. We're counting on you, Runner Five.

ZOE CRICK: And if the worst should occur, avenge us!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: But in the meantime, we hope all of you carry on enjoying Radio New Hope with the real Phil and Zoe. This one's for everyone who's dedicated to staying true to themselves.

#zombies run #zrs8 #s8 radio #s8 radio part 5 #zr transcript

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lucyllesheltonroi · 4 years ago

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12 Things I Stole From People More Successful Than Me

Throughout my entire life, I’ve been fortunate enough to have read 100’s of books written by people who are a lot more successful than I am.

People like Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman, billionaire investor Charlie Munger, Founding Father Ben Franklin, NBA legend Kobe Bryant, modern-day Stoic Ryan Holiday, and many more.

This has exposed me to thousands of new insights and practical ideas for living a better life. And let me tell you something…

I’ve happily stolen and applied every single piece of advice these people have kindly given away in their books.

Whether it’s building better habits, elevating my level of happiness, or earning more money, these ideas have greatly benefited my own life.

So to make these ideas easier for you to benefit from, here are 12 of the best and most unconventional ideas I’ve shamelessly stolen from people who are a lot more successful than I am.

I hope you enjoy it!

1) Pare Down The Number of Decisions You Make Every Day

Every single day, you make thousands of decisions: Should I hit the snooze button or not? What time should I leave for work? Should I exercise today? And if so, what time? The list goes on and on. Some of these decisions are important, but most are trivial.

Unfortunately, researchers have found that, as humans, our capacity to consistently make well thought out decisions is finite.

What this means is that when you use your brainpower earlier in the day deciding what to eat for breakfast, for example, you’ll consequently have less of it later in the day when you have to decide if you should have that piece of cake or not. As a result, you’ll most likely give in and decide to eat the cake. This is what’s known as decision fatigue, which is the psychological condition where making a decision in the present will reduce your decision making ability in the future.

John Tierney, coauthor of the New York Times bestselling book “Willpower,” says,

“Decision fatigue helps explain why ordinarily sensible people get angry at colleagues and families, splurge on clothes, buy junk food at the supermarket and can’t resist the dealer’s offer to rustproof their new car. No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be, you can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price. It’s different from ordinary physical fatigue — you’re not consciously aware of being tired — but you’re low on mental energy.”

Simply put, every decision you make uses up your mental energy. So in order to save your mental power for the important decisions of the day, you have to learn to reduce the number of decisions you make on a daily basis either by automating them or delegating them.

By doing this, you’ll find yourself becoming significantly less stressed, more productive, and overall happier.

2) Tear Up Your To-Do List

Here’s an important piece of advice: Success is never achieved by the person who does the most things every day. Instead, success is always achieved by the person who does what is most important every day.

This is why to-do lists can oftentimes do more harm than good. Why? Because a to-do list is essentially everything you think you need to do, not everything you ought to do.

It may feel good to check off a lot of small, unimportant tasks from your to-do list, but a to-do list tends to just obscure what’s really important.

So what do you need instead of a to-do list? You need a success list.

In the book “The One Thing,” Gary Keller, founder of the largest real estate company in the world, says,

“To-do lists tend to be long; success lists are short. One pulls you in all directions; the other aims you in a specific direction. One is a disorganized directory and the other is an organized directive. If a list isn’t built around success, then that’s not where it takes you. If your to-do lists contain everything, then it’s probably taking you everywhere but where you really want to go.”

Not everything matters equally. Having clean windows may seem important for you to do, but it doesn’t help you achieve success. They only distract you from success.

So the next time you create a to-do list, don’t make your to-do list in random order. Instead, take a few extra minutes to list everything on your to-do list in order of priority and then focus on only doing the 3 most important things on your list.

3) Turn “Have-To” Into “Get-To”

At one point in my life, I constantly struggled to build new habits. But here’s a simple idea that helped me overcome this: Don’t view your habits as challenges. Instead, view them as opportunities.

In the book “Atomic Habits,” habit building expert James Clear says,

“We often talk about everything we have to do in a given day. You have to wake up early for work. You have to make another sales call for your business. You have to cook dinner for your family. Now, imagine changing just one word: You don’t “have” to. You “get” to. You “get” to wake up early for work. You “get” to make another sales call for your business. You “get” to cook dinner for your family.”

This may just seem like semantics, but it’s actually a crucial component for building new habits and improving your life. By simply changing one word in your life, from “have-to” into “get-to,” you start to see building habits like going for a run and reading every day as a privilege rather than as a burden.

For instance:

Don’t tell yourself “I have to go running today.” Instead, tell yourself, “I get to build endurance and get fast today.”

Don’t tell yourself, “I have to read today. Instead, tell yourself, “I get to learn from the most intelligent and successful individuals who ever lived today.”

Don’t tell yourself, “I have to write today. Instead, tell yourself, “I get to impact thousands of people for the better through my thoughts today.”

Learn to reframe your habits to highlight their benefits rather than their drawbacks. Doing this is a fast and easy way to reprogram your mind and to make intimidating and burdensome habits seem more attractive.

4) Use People’s Favorite Sound

Do you wish you were more likeable? I mean, who doesn’t? Even people who say they don’t care about being liked by other people still care about being liked.

And they should… You know why? Because being liked by others is extremely important when it comes to both your career success and personal relationships.

Luckily, there’s a simple technique you can use that can have a huge positive impact on how others perceive you. In the classic book “How To Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie interviews the late American politician Jim Farley on his secret to being a more likeable and persuasive person.

What was his secret? Amazingly, Farley would go out of his way to remember the names of everyone he met. In fact, Farley could remember the first names of 50,000 people!

This is definitely impressive, but why is remembering and using people’s names important? There are two reasons: First, when you remember someone’s name, it makes that person feel respected and more important. However, when you don’t remember someone’s name, especially when they’ve told you their name multiple times, it can make that person feel slighted. Second, when you actively use someone’s name in conversation, it makes that person feel more engaged and interested. Unsurprisingly, Carnegie says, this is because “a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Remembering and using someone’s name is a very subtle, yet powerful way to win people over. So the next time you meet someone and you want to quickly win their favor be sure to remember their name and use it often in conversation.

5) Look At People’s Feet

When you’re having a conversation with someone, how do you know if the other person is engaged in the conversation, disinterested, or just uncomfortable to be there?

Typically, most people will look at the other person’s facial expression to try to get a sense of how that person feels.

Unfortunately, the problem with this strategy is that people are really good at changing their facial expressions in order to mask how they really feel.

Luckily, there’s a better strategy. According to the book “What Every Body Is Saying,” former FBI agent Joe Navarro recommends that in order to tell how someone feels, you should look down at their feet.

Navarro says that out of all our body parts, our feet are the most honest parts of our body.

For example, let’s say you’re talking to someone and their facial expression makes it seem like they’re engaged with you, but their feet are pointing away from you. Navarro says this is a bad sign. This can mean they’re ready to get out of the conversation immediately or that they don’t feel comfortable being there.

If, however, their feet are pointed towards you, then Navarro says that’s a good sign. This can mean that they feel comfortable talking with you or that they’re enjoying the conversation.

So the next time you’re standing and talking with someone, look at where their feet are pointing. You’ll discover some of the most revealing nonverbal information from that person just by looking at their feet.

6) Mise En Place

In the culinary arts, professional chefs have a term they use called “mise en place,” which is French for “put in place.”

Essentially, chefs don’t start cooking until everything is, literally, in its place: their instruments and spices are organized, everything is clean, their ingredients are pre-chopped, their ingredients are pre-measured, etc.

Mise en place helps chefs reduce the friction they experience in the kitchen. As a result, chefs are able to cook better meals with far less effort.

This is a simple concept that helps chefs cook better, but it also extends outside of the kitchen.

In the book “Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick,” professor and habit researcher Amy Wood recommends using mise en place to build better habits.

Like professional chefs, Wood recommends trying to reduce the friction needed to do your desired habit.

For instance:

If you want to eat better, then prepare healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner meals in advance.

If you want to exercise in the morning, then lay out your workout clothes the night before.

If you want to read more, then put a book on your bed.

If you can reduce the friction for the positive habits that you want to build, then it won’t be as hard for you to build life-changing habits into your life.

7) Don’t Be A Donkey

When Tim Ferriss asked Derek Sivers what advice he would give to his younger self for his book “Tools of Titans,” Sivers gave one of the best pieces of advice in this entire 700+ page book: “Don’t be a donkey.”

In this book, Sivers tells a short story about a donkey who is both equally hungry and thirsty. Fortunately for the donkey, there’s a stack of hay a few feet away from him on his left side and a pail of water a few feet away on his right side.

But here’s the thing: Because the hay and water are equally as far, the donkey can’t decide whether he should eat the hay first or drink the water first. Paralyzed by indecision, the donkey eventually falls over and dies from both hunger and thirst.

Sivers says,

“A donkey can’t think of the future. If he did, he’d realize he could clearly go first to drink the water, then go eat the hay. So my advice to my 30-year-old self is, don’t be a donkey. You can do everything you want to do. You just need foresight and patience.”

Therefore, if you have 10 things you want to accomplish over the next 10 years, just know that you can definitely achieve those 10 things. But all you have to do is simply dedicate yourself to one thing for a year. And then dedicate yourself to the next thing for another year. And so on. However, if you try to do all 10 things at once, then you’re going to end up like a donkey and not achieve anything. Don’t be a donkey.

8) Stop Using The Number 7

Whenever you don’t know if you should say no to something, simply rate it on a scale from 1 to 10. However, there’s one condition: You can’t use the number 7.

This strategy comes from Tim Ferriss in his book “Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice From The Best In The World.”

Why does Tim Ferriss say you’re not allowed to use 7? Because 7 is too safe of a number. 7 doesn’t commit to anything.

If you rate something a 7, there’s a good chance you’ll feel obligated to say yes to it when you shouldn’t.

Whereas, if you rate something a 6 (terrible) or an 8 (exciting), it’s a lot easier to quickly decide whether or not you should even consider it.

The benefit of making decisions this way is that it forces you to make a decision.

This is a method you can use for anything, whether it’s deciding if you should buy a specific book, go to a conference, or have a coffee chat with someone.

Don’t be scared to have an opinion. Stop playing it safe. Make a decision.

9) Be A Whiner

Mark Cuban is a huge whiner. But that’s exactly why he’s so successful.

When Mark Cuban was in high school, for example, he whined about not being able to take business classes. So he decided to take classes at the University of Pittsburgh instead.

When Mark Cuban was hanging out with his friend, they both whined they couldn’t listen to any hometown sports in Dallas. So they decided to start AudioNet.

When Mark Cuban was sitting in attendance at a Mavericks basketball game, he whined that there wasn’t enough energy or entertainment. Cuban thought he could do a better job. So he decided to buy the Mavericks.

In his book “How To Win At The Sport of Business,” Mark Cuban says,

“I’m sure there have been many other things I have whined about in the past, and many more that I will whine about in the future. What I don’t understand is why so many people think whining has a negative connotation. I don’t. Whining is the first step toward change. It’s the moment when you realize something is very wrong and that you have to take the initiative to do something about it… People who don’t whine are punching bags. They just go about their days, their jobs, their lives, knowing there is nothing they can do to change a darn thing, so why say a word? They see no reason to whine because they know they are incapable of effecting change. Call me a whiner any day.”

10) Take Sabbaticals From Your Work

If you ever feel like you’re experiencing creative roadblocks in your work or that you’re feeling burnt out, it’s probably time to take a sabbatical.

What’s a sabbatical? Sabbaticals are mini-vacations from your work, which are meant to act as a detox from your daily routine so that you can recharge and get back to work better than before.

In the book “Show Your Work,” best selling author and creative Austin Kleon says,

“The designer Stefan Sagmeister swears by the power of the sabbatical — every seven years, he shuts down his studio and takes a year off [to rejuvenate and refresh his creative outlook.] His thinking is that we dedicate the first 25 years or so of our lives to learning, the next 40 to work, and the last 15 to retirement, so why not take 5 years off retirement and use them to break up the work years? He says the sabbatical has turned out to be invaluable to his work: “Everything that we designed in the seven years following the first sabbatical had it’s roots in thinking done during that sabbatical.”

Stefan Sagmeister is only one among thousands of successful entrepreneurs, creatives and VCs who rely on sabbaticals to feel refreshed.

Taking a sabbatical, whether it’s for a week, a day, or even just a few hours, is a great way to cultivate new ideas, to experience fewer creative blocks, and to avoid burnout in your work.

11) Never Ask For Someone’s ‘Opinion’

If you ever want to ask someone for input about an idea you have, then never ask for their “opinion.” Instead, always ask for their “advice.”

The differential phrasing might seem minor, but in the book “Pre-Suasion” psychology and marketing professor Robert Cialdini says that asking for ‘advice�� can have a significant positive impact in getting other people to provide you feedback as well as getting other people to want to work with you.

Why? Because when you ask someone for their ‘advice,’ this puts the other person in a togetherness state of mind, which helps increase the other person’s desire to support whatever you’re asking them for advice on.

Asking for their opinion, on the other hand, puts the other person in an introspection state of mind, which makes them focus more on themself and not on you.

So whenever you’re seeking input from your customers, peers, or even your boss, it’s worth asking them for their “advice.”

“The novelist Saul Bellow once observed, “When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.” I’d only add on the basis of scientific evidence that, if we get that advice, we usually get that accomplice.” — Robert Cialdini

12 Practice What’s It’s Like To Be Poor

For many of us, we constantly worry about not having enough money. We fear what life will look like if we can’t afford the things we think we want and are forced to live on just the bare necessities.

But oftentimes this fear paralyzes us and keeps us from being as happy and successful as we could be.

But instead of constantly worrying about what might go wrong if you were to get fired from your job or your business was to fail, why not rehearse what each potential fear-inducing moment would be like before it ever happens?

This is a psychological technique known as “fear rehearsing,” which is where you regularly microdose yourself with the worst case scenario as a way to desensitize yourself to your fears.

In the book “Letters From A Stoic,” the great Stoic philosopher Seneca says,

“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: Is this the condition that I so feared?”

For 3 to 4 days, wear the same outfit every day. Eat a lot of instant oatmeal, ramen and/or rice and beans. Drink only water, cheap instant coffee or tea. Reduce the amount you spend on groceries and personal care in half. Forego any form of entertainment or leisure that costs money. Walk or take public transit everywhere. Turn off your TV. Take cold showers. Sleep in a sleeping bag. Only read books from your local library.

That’s it. That’s as hard as it gets. By doing this, you’ll realize just how independent your well being is from money. And once you understand this, it becomes easier to take “risks” and to push through your fears because you know that even if you were to experience a huge financial setback, you would still be completely okay.

People will think you’re resilient but actually you’ve just practiced the hard times as preparation.

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meatismurderbutalsodelicious · 4 years ago

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How to Cook a Filet Steak with Mushroom Pan Sauce Gravy

First, despite the multitude of recipes on the web and YouTube videos the greatest steak recipe to ever grace the globe remains Alex Balk’s brilliant, humorous and oddly insightful, “How to Cook a Fucking Steak” that appeared on his now defunct site, The Aul, back in November, 2009.

Short, to the point, its brilliance lays not just in the easy, masculine, casual style of the writing, but in its excellent demystification of “haute cuisine” and steakhouse pretensions.

That said, I discovered a deal on Irish Angus beef fillets here at the local Aldi supermarket last week—two 7-ounce fillets for something like US$10—and I wanted to whip up a hearty Fall, comforting dinner.

As Balk wrote, cooking a steak is not rocket science, but like everything about cooking a dinner with multiple moving parts, one false step can lead to a burned or overcooked steak as you juggle side dishes.

Ingredients

2 seven-ounce beef fillets

2 tablespoons black peppercorns

1 tablespoon sea or kosher course salt

2 to 3-tablespoons vegetable oil

1-pound of clean button mushrooms

2 tablespoons of butter

1 tablespoon of corn starch

1 cup vegetable broth

1 shallot, finely chopped

1 clover of garlic, minced or crushed

1 teaspoon light soy sauce

I leave my steaks out on a counter, still packaged, for a good few hours, bringing them up to room temperature if they’ve either been in the fridge or frozen.

Ireland has a “temperate climate”—loosely translated, meaning it’s pretty chill most of the year, so don’t worry about the meat getting too hot as to risk spoiling.

I mean, we leave butter out in a glass dish all year round.

Next, prep the mushrooms, shallots, garlic and vegetable broth.

Both the filets and the gravy come together rather quickly, since we’re going for medium rare on the beef.

Pre-heat your oven to C200 degrees-F390 degrees, since we’re going to sear the beef in a skillet on the stove top then place on a rack to finish in the oven.

I like a nice peppery crust on my steak, so I grind two tablespoons of black peppercorns with one tablespoon of kosher or sea salt.

Next, unwrap your beef and dry off with a paper towel. The less moisture on the surface of the meat assures a nice sear, while keeping the spices, the salt and pepper crisp and not mealy.

Let the meat continue to rest for another 10- to 15-minutes so that the salt can penetrate the beef and draw the moisture to the surface.

Irish beef is particularly tender, mostly because after the cattle has been slaughtered, the beef is usually aged for four weeks before being distributed to the butchers.

Most local butchers will then age it at least one more week before butchering the beast and putting it on sale.

Put the skillet on stove top burner, add a few tablespoons of vegetable oil and heat until the oil begins to shimmer. You want a high heat so once that meat hits the pan, it begins to sizzle immediately.

Bob isn’t a fan of the black pepper, so his filet is less seasoned than mine.

Now, you want to give three minutes to each side of the filet. After one minute, flip to sear the other side. After another minute, flip, do this three times per each side.

Remove the filets from the skillet, place on the oven rack, place in the oven and then turn the oven down to C150-degrees/F300-degrees. Now, you are the master of the level of “doneness” of your filets.

I usually leave them in for 8-minutes. Enough time to create your mushroom pan gravy.

Lower the stove top to medium, then throw the mushrooms in the pan. Add a nob or two of butter, all the while stirring to make sure mushrooms are coated evenly and don’t burn.

Next, toss in the shallots and garlic.

Keep stirring and mixing. After about five minutes, the mushrooms, garlic and shallots should all be lovely, soft and browned.

It’s time to add your one tablespoon of corn starch.

Thoroughly fold in the corn starch to cook off its rawness and create a roux.

Now, pour in your vegetable stock. The thickness of the gravy is in your hands. I feel one cup of veggie stock creates a nice, silken pan sauce that’s not too unctuous.

Bring the sauce to a boil, stirring to avoid lumps and burning.

Remove your filets from the oven and leave to rest on a plate for about 10-minutes.

Now it’s time to taste the gravy for seasoning. Vegetable broths, even those that claim to be “low sodium” have a lot of salt as a preservative in them, so if I feel the gravy needs some more seasoning, I tend to go with a glug of light soy sauce. It helps bring a richness to the sauce as well as darken the color.

OK, now you’re ready to plate. Pour all the collected juices from your resting filets into the gravy—to not do so would be a crime—give it one last stir and bring your dinner together with whatever side dishes you decided to make.

For this dinner, I went with creamy mashed potatoes and peas.

Enjoy!

#homecooking #steak #filetmignon #pan gravy

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presalecleaning · 2 years ago

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Obvious Reasons to Opt for Pre Sale Cleaning

If you have made up your mind to sell your home, there are certain things that you need to keep in mind to gain maximum value from it. Try to prepare a house ready-to-sell checklist and give topmost priority to its cleaning. A clean house sells faster and can quickly help you earn a good amount of profit. If you are unaware of this fact, this blog post is just for you. Here are a few reasons why opting for pre sale cleaning can fetch you brownie points:

Pre sale cleaning boosts your home value:

All you need is to rely on professionals and get your pre sale cleaning in Point Cook done just in time. There might be instances when potential buyers will view your property but might reject it due to its unkempt state. Pre sale cleaning will boost your home’s value and, at the same time, attract potential buyers who will show eagerness to buy your property.

Professional cleaning can make a lot of difference:

Little do people know that opting for pre sale cleaning in Kooyong will enable you to get things done just in time. Selling a house comes with a lot of challenges that are unexpected most of the time. This is why it is always better to rely on professional cleaners because they will deliver high-quality cleaning and the best of customer service to their clients. They will address every nook and corner of your property to give you a pristine-looking house ready for sale.

The professional cleaners offer precise cleaning as per your preferences:

One of the obvious reasons to opt for professional pre sale cleaning is to get customised service as per your preferences and requirements. You may ask the cleaners to pay special attention to the kitchens and bathrooms or even the attic space to make your property presentable to the buyers.

Pre sale cleaning is stress-free!

All you need is to rely on professionals so that you can get the best pre sale cleaning in Hawthorn, and you’re good to go. Getting ready to sell your house can be an emotional and stressful job, and cleaning it at the same time brings a lot of headaches. Relying on professional cleaners will help you get the job done in a worry-free manner.

These are a few reasons that make it evident for you to look for a professional cleaning company that offers precise cleaning services to make your property spotlessly clean.

#Pre Sale Cleaning Point Cook #Pre Sale Cleaning Kooyong #Pre Sale Cleaning Hawthorn #Pre Sale Cleaners #Pre Sale Cleaning Service

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mylifeasaserver · 5 years ago

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Running Stupid

Tonight was a hell of a night. We closed hours ago and I’m just now getting home.

4 of 5 servers called off, leaving me as the only one dumb enough to show up.

The cook called off too.

Whether that was because of a deliberate walkout type thing or coincidence, I don’t know. What I do know is I ran my stupid ass off all night because I was the only server on.

Fortunately for me I had a dishwasher and a hostess on.

The dishwasher has been working here for a couple months now, and is a genuinely pleasant guy. I do what I can to make his job easier, and in turn he helps me out when I ask - you know, like it’s supposed to be - and occasionally I share some of my tips with him or buy him dinner. Our host is his girlfriend, and is new here.

Our illustrious GM got call-outs all day. Do you think he called anybody in? Asked anybody to stay late? Nah, better to cram pizza rolls he deep fried down into his flabby neck pouch. He’ll just let the night manager figure it out.

He fucked off an hour after I got there, leaving a crew of 4 for the night. The manager had to cook, The host managed a wait list - she sat tables and got them drinks and kept a list of which table was sat in what order - God love her - and the dishwasher did his job plus bussed and sometimes pre-bussed and even did a couple check backs at my tables.

I ran a full dining room [mostly] alone.

At some point I got drenched in bleu cheese dressing - because why not - and I had to wear an apron from an employee who left long ago because that’s what we have.

It actually wasn’t too bad, aside from running myself near to death for 5 hours and the free food table.

The free food table came in near the tail end of the rush and were immediately upset that they weren’t greeted immediately. They knew the deal before they were sat because the hostess told EVERY TABLE that there was only one server due to call outs and I’d be with them as soon as I could be. Not one table waited more than 5 minutes for me, and aside from these two assblasters there wasn’t a single complaint. Not one.

Anyway, as they place their order they tell me if everything isn’t absolutely perfect they’ll be sending the food back. It’s at this point I realize they’re free food scammers - and we’ve had them before. They whine about the food for discounts and never tip.

I tell them I’ll make them a deal, half off the bill if they’ll just give my GM (see: the night manager) honest feedback on how everything is when she comes around.

They quickly agree.

I tell the night manager that no matter what happens she has to make a trip to this table to ask them how everything was. She’s exasperated, tired, and has been busting ass behind the line - but she tells me to just tell her when to go. She trusts me. She’s clever like that.

I run their food out. They’re happy.

I do the check back. They’re happy.

The night manager comes by right before the check - and doesn’t introduce herself as the GM - and they’re happy.

They get the bill - they’re unhappy.

I didn’t take half off because they were happy with everything and don’t give a shit what they think because they don’t tip. They threaten to never return.

Them: We’re never coming back here! Is that what you want?

Me, in a voice so devoid of any emotion you’d swear I’d worked at the DMV for 48 years: Oh no. I’d totally hate that. Please don’t.

Them: You’re an ass.

Me, in that same voice: Yeah, but you were happy with everything tonight and I hope you have a wonderful evening. I’ll be back for the check soon.

They paid, left a card for Jesus in the book along with the traditional no tip, and told the hostess they won’t be returning any time soon - if ever. Good riddance.

Eventually the place was empty, and shortly after that we closed. The kitchen was a disaster, both on my side and on the cook’s side of the line. Dishes were everywhere.

First, the night manager came out from behind the line to help me get my stuff done so - in her words - I could get the hell out. She was super appreciative of everything I’d done and that I’d done it with zero bitching. She was also pretty amused when I told her what I did to the scammer table. The dishwasher went back to his stuff, and my hostess started cleaning up the dining room.

With all the server stuff done, I was told I could go.

Hard pass.

I made almost $500 (18.9% on sales) tonight - if it gives you an idea of how much running had to be done, my sales were over $2500, an average shift is around $5-600 - so I can afford to stick around. I helped the night manager get the stuff behind the line done, which in turn re-buried the dishwasher.

So I went and did dishes after. I stayed for an extra few hours past close - as did everybody else.

I offered the dishwasher and hostess $75 each for helping me out that they both adamantly refused. Can’t force them to take it.

Can’t stop me from buying them both dinner either, so when they next want to eat here it’ll be on me.

Now to finish my beer and go the hell to bed. I’ve had enough of today.

If I find out that they were doing some kind of walkout thing without telling me and trying to bone the night manager in the process...some servers and a cook are gonna have a very bad time with me. -J

#server #restaurant #host #hostess

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gotboredwrote · 5 years ago

Text

The Ukulelist and The Bassist // JRD

Pairing: John Richard Deacon x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.5K Style: One-Shot Warnings: Fluff, implications of sexual themes (absolutely nothing explicit), did I mention how fluffy this is because wow Summary: John notices Y/N in the front corner of the general admissions section during a show clutching her ukulele. He notices that she plays along with a certain tune that he knows extremely well and wants to meet her. Permanent Author’s Note: To clarify, I write because I get bored. Nothing is meant to be professional in any way, nor is meant to offend, cause anxiety, cause anger, cause sadness, or promote disagreement among readers in any sort of (semi)permanent way. A/N: Who owns a uke but has such small hands that she can’t even play that so she’s projecting her insecurities into a story? THIS GIRL. Also, ugh I’m jealous of the reader, like wow. Didn’t proofread lol.

Masterlist

It was July of 1978, and Queen was on tour again. Y/N had purchased her tickets about four months ago, and you spent every waking moment you had preparing for it. You did not have the money at the time to buy an actual seat, and when you finally got the money, the seats had completely sold out and all that was left was general admission. Being much shorter than average, the idea scared you. But the adrenaline that coursed through you by simply thinking about being that close to the band was stronger. All you could hope was that maybe Queen fanatics were kind enough to let you semi-near the front so you could see to some degree. You did not expect to make it all the way to the front row. Or what happened after the show.

Prepared was an understatement. Y/N had been a fan of Queen since the early days, but was young at the time. Only about fifteen in 1971. Now you were twenty-two and making your way to the venue to see your favorite band perform. Live. For the first, and hopefully not last, time. You were not an outgoing girl – short, insecure about the way you looked, your hair, your voice. Even on a good day, you managed to stand in front of your bathroom mirror and find something to critique, and even something as small as maybe your bra strap digging into your shoulder a little tighter than usual making you look chubbier than you actually are could ruin your day. Your family always tried to make you feel better, but usually ended up saying something that made it worse in some way, unintentionally. You were pretty used to it at this point, and even admitting that to yourself bummed you out, too. But, like most people your age and in that time, you had a band that could life your spirits no matter what kind of day you were having. The kind that if they came on the radio, a smile formed on your face without forcing it to. For you, that was Queen. Four dorky geniuses each in their own right, who also happened to be amazing at making music, and not too terrible to look at, either. You had always wanted to go see them live, but you grew up in a very strict household, and your parents would not let you go, and you were too afraid to see what would happen if you snuck out on your own. So, you were patient, as patient as you could be. You knew one day it would happen. It just had to. One day you racked up the courage to see if you could go on the newest leg of the tour, since the venue happened to only be about thirty minutes from your house. To your surprise and joy, your parents were more than willing to let you go if you paid for everything and got a ride. You had already figured the logistics out in advance to make sure it was doable, so you were in the clear. You were going to see Queen live. You were smiling widely with tears streaking your pale cheeks, your parents gaping at you thinking they made you upset somehow. All you could muster was reaching across the table to grab one of each of their hands and squeezing it as a thank you. You were practically hyperventilating. That night, you made it a point to call the venue and got your pre-sale general admission ticket, and started planning all the smaller details that only mattered if you were going. It took a couple weeks, but you had finally settled on what you were going to wear. In terms of clothing, you were planning to wear a simple pair of semi-fitted light blue jeans that had large cuffing at the ankles and holes at the knees, a plain black, form-fitting, spaghetti strapped tank top with a goldenrod lace bralette underneath, and some standard work boots. Nothing overly fancy, but something that looked good on you and breathed, since it was going to be insanely hot in general admission. You decided you would go with your signature hairstyle, which was an extremely basic ponytail. No styling, no deliberate fly-aways, just loosely pulled back on your head so it would bob around as you danced but not stick to your neck. You had short hair, so it almost naturally styled itself once it was pulled up and lightly moved around. You were not a jewelry person, and you did not want to lose anything precious, anyway, and you did not really wear make-up, either. You were going as your truest self, because the band made you feel safe enough to do so. No insecurities, not that night.

Your mind was buzzing as you made your way to the doors of the venue. The four months since you had gotten permission to go and bought your ticket had flown by in what felt like one day. You decided not to bring much of anything, only things that would fit in your pockets, so some cash and gum, essentially. The only thing you decided to bring in your hands was your precious ukulele. Your parents had bought you a little kiddie one when you were about ten years old, thinking it would keep you occupied while they cooked or cleaned. What they did not expect is for you to somehow make music out of a plastic toy. Real music that was pleasing to the ears. Both of your parents slowly made their way to your living room, where you were giggling to yourself strumming away at the piece of plastic. On your eleventh birthday, you were gifted with a real ukulele which you played even more miraculously and beautifully as the plastic one. You treasured it, and no matter how many new ukuleles your parents would buy you whenever they thought you were due for one, you always found yourself going back to that one. Then Queen became famous, and quickly became your favorite band. You found yourself being able to pick up on certain melodies that either Brian or John would play pretty easily. You would play along with one of them on the first listen of the record, then the other when you played it again. As you got a little older, you found yourself playing more of John’s parts because you appreciated the importance of a solid bassline to a song. People never talked about basslines, but you had heard records of bands playing without a bass and it made you feel empty. That there was clearly something missing. Anytime you would listen to a Queen record, even if it was quietly playing in the background of your house, your parents would always catch you bringing out John’s part to make sure people know it is there. You thought that maybe one day you would earn enough money to buy yourself a bass, but you had no idea how you would teach it to yourself, and you could not afford lessons. You decided that since that first ukulele meant so much to you, as does the band, you would do a small DIY in honor of your favorite bassist. John frequently at shows used his yellow Fender Precision Bass, and yellow happened to be your favorite color. You decided to paint your ukulele to look like his bass, and reserved using your first ukulele for two occasions. When you listened to Queen and Queen alone, or you were having a worse day than normal and needed a pick-me-up, which usually involved Queen, as well. That was the only possession your walked through the doors with. Security was hesitant at first to let you through, but exchanged a knowing glance at one another, and let you pass. The thought that went through their mind would have floored you if they said it out loud, because it was the only reason you brought your precious ukulele with you. You were really hoping that you would get to play along with John on the bass your ukulele was modeled after. The guards had seen John early tuning the exact bass you wanted to see. All that was left for you to do was make your way to the front of the general admission section. You saw how many people had already made their way through the venue, you were simply hoping that they all had seats. It was not the largest venue Queen had played, but it was not small by any means. It had about 3,000 seats and enough space on the floor for about another five-hundred. You walked with some confidence, but once you made your way to the floor, there was already about one-hundred people there, and you felt defeated. You wanted to hope that there would be some kind soul who would lift you up on their shoulders, or even let you through, but you doubted it. You slowly sulked your way down to the back of the people, when a small group of guys turned around and noticed your expression and demeanor.

“Yo, are you gonna be able to see, girl?”

“Yeah, your littler than an oompa-loopa!”

You looked up at the boys, who were clearly about ten years older than you, and your face went flush. You wanted to say that you would be alright, that you got there late and it was only fair for the people who got there first to stay in the front. They did not give you a chance. The first guy who spoke noticed something that propelled him to want to get you to the front.

“Woah, I’ve seen that little guitar before! That looks just like Deaky’s bass! Holy crap, did you paint that yourself? You’re one heck of a groupie, but you look way too sweet to be one. You need to be in the front. Hey everyone!” He was now yelling at the people in front of him, who actually gave him their full attention. “This girl has a thing for the bass player but is clearly shy and short! Could we get her to the front corner so maybe he can see her?”

You felt dizzy from embarrassment, but it was like you were watching the Red Sea part, except that it was not down the middle, but off to the left side where the barricade was. People moved over for you, so you could be in the front row. You were so taken aback that you felt tears well up in your eyes, and all you could do was breath out a “thank you” through a hearty laugh. You made your way to your VIP spot, and stood there trying to collect your thoughts as the rest of the stadium filed in. Then the lights went dark.

You were thankful to those guys for a number of reasons. First, the stadium was so loud that if you would have been in the back somewhere, you honestly would not have been surprised if you could not hear the band playing. Second, you knew for a fact that you would not have been able to see anything behind people. Third, you knew that your ukulele could have, and probably would have, been crushed in between your front and someone else’s back. Fourth, and arguably most importantly, you knew that John would have never seen you and your ukulele, which was the whole point of bringing it. It did not take long for him to notice you, either. He always stood on the right side of the stage, which put him directly across from you. He noticed your ukulele first, and then moved to your face. You were not screaming his name, or anyone’s name for that matter or belting out the lyrics. Your eyes were actually closed, and you looked like you were taking in the music that you were hearing like you were going through a religious experience. (because let’s be real here – I probably would have died to see them live and Disco Deaky™ dancing right in front of me? oof.) He almost faltered in his playing because he could not recall a time when a girl was that close to the stage for just the music. Once he got his groove back, he went back down to the ukulele. Obviously, he noticed that it was painted to be just like his bass, which he frankly found so cute and flattering that it made his heart jump. Sure, he got groupies every once in a while, but they only cared about one part of him, not his talent. He really appreciated you for that reason. Then he noticed something else. Something that forced him to swallow hard. Your hands were moving on your ukulele. The same way his hands were moving on his bass. You were playing his parts. You knew his parts and the other parts did not seem to matter as much. Another jump of the heart. This time it continued though. His heart started to beat so quickly that he thought he was going to need CPR by the end of the show. He kept his eye on you for the rest of the show, making eye contact with you frequently. Each time he amped up his motions a little bit more, either dancing a little bit more or shooting you a small smile, because it made him feel really good inside when he saw you smile. He never had personal fans like this, and it was affecting him in all the right ways. The show came to a close, and you could not have been happier with how the night went. There were tears, laughter, and belting out your favorite tunes for almost 2 hours. You got everything you wanted out of the night, but John had not. He handed his bass off to a stagehand, where he made sure to give specific instructions to leave it in his dressing room instead of back on the bus. Instead of going with the rest of the band back to their shared lounge right away, he hopped off the side of the stage in a hurry to make sure he could meet your gaze. He ran in between two security guards, and frantically waved at you until you were paying attention. You saw him earlier than you reacted, but you really did not think that he was looking at you. Eventually you looked around yourself three-hundred and sixty degrees, then locked eyes with him again and pointed at yourself as if to say “me?” He nodded frantically with his crinkly smile and then pointed behind him as if to say “come backstage with me?” Then it was your turn to nod frantically. He was pulled away by one of the manager’s assistants before you could make your way over, but the guards that he stood between happened to be the ones who let you through the gates earlier. One of them made his way over to you to lift you over the rails and bring you over to where they were standing. The guard who did not pick you up gave you instructions to the lounge, since he thought that was where John would be. You bashfully thanked him and slowly made your way through the crowds of people backstage. Crew, security, groupies who had no permission to be back there, and tons of others. You could follow directions pretty well, so when you saw that none of the groupies were where they needed to be, you felt really confident that you would not be perceived as one. You found the door and knocked quietly. Freddie swung the door open and you practically shrieked out of surprise.

“Oh, and who might this darling doll be? You’re not one of the regular gals we see back here.”

“Oh, I-I’m here for… John… he asked me to come backstage and I was tol-told he would be here.”

Brian chirped back with “Ah. So you’re the one he mentioned frantically before rushing off to his dressing room?”

“Clearly, Brian, look at her guitar. It looks just like John’s just… really freaking small.” Roger clearly had no idea what type of string instrument it was, he called them all guitars, anyway.

“Well, he is patiently awaiting your arrival, darling. Walk down the hall that way about four doors and you will see a plaque that says ‘JRD’ on it – that’s where he will be.”

You nodded and smiled bashfully as a way of saying thanks and sorry for interrupting so early on in the night, and the three lads just waved you off politely. Brian jumped up to the door catching you about halfway to your destination, always being the polite man he is. “Hey, what is your name?”

“Y/N!”

By the time you made it in front of John’s door, your heart rate had quadrupled in speed, and you were afraid your ukulele might slip out of your hands because you were sweating so badly. You composed yourself as best you could before knocking gently on his door. Little did you know that John was reacting the same way you were, and the soft sound that came from the other side of his door made him jump slightly. You heard the knob click and knew there was no going back now. You were greeted with the same smile that he gave you before he was ushered backstage, but he was a lot more shy in the way he communicated now.

“Hi.”

“Um, please come in, love.”

You nodded lightly and made your way through the door, which you heard him shut and lock. You were instantly afraid he only wanted you as a groupie, and suddenly your body was filled with dread and embarrassment. Why lock the door if you simply wanted to talk? Is he that private of a guy? Turns out he really is just that private of a guy.

“Can I say something that I hope is obvious before anything else?” You smiled sweetly as a confirmation. “I’m… I’m clearly not the bring-the-pretty-girl-backstage-to-sleep-with-and-forget-about-her-the-next-day type. I am also making the assumption, based on how you were acting during the concert, that you aren’t a groupie. Am I right so far?”

“Yes, Mr. Deacon.”

He almost winced when you called him that, for a number of reasons. “Good. I want you to know that I actually have a real reason for wanting to see you. And don’t call me Mr. Deacon. I imagine we aren’t that far apart in age, so please just call me John. Or Deaky. That’s what the lads call me. Whichever you prefer.”

“I like Deaky, let’s go with that.” You smiled at him with flushed cheeks.

“I wanted to just… talk to you. Learn about you. I saw how you were at the concert, and how could I not notice your ukulele?” He knew what it was – it made your heart swell. “You were playing my-my parts. No one has ever shown me appreciation for what I contribute. I thought people didn’t care.”

His words made you really sad. But in a strange way, comforted. Here is John Deacon, rock star, in one of the world’s biggest bands of all time, and he was admitting to simple you that he had insecurities that in his own way were just like yours. It humanized him. Made you feel like he was a real person even more than he already did just by dancing in front of you like no one was watching.

“Why me?”

He broke your train of thought with a simple question, to which you responded in the most heartfelt way your brain could muster.

“I know what it’s like. To not feel appreciated. Or cared about. Or liked, period. I feel that basically every day, and one day I realized that I had a knack for this little instrument, and I started to emulate you. Even told myself that one day I would buy myself a bass. But I don’t think that’ll happen, because I don’t have a lot of money and I could never afford lessons. I also don’t have the time to teach myself, so I stick with my ukulele that looks like your Fender. I understand you, Deaky, in a weird way. Like… you and I are the same person in some ways.”

He was moved. Moved almost to tears. You were smiling at him so sweetly and he could tell you were speaking the truth. He wanted to thank you, but that felt like too small a gesture. He wanted to place a hand on your leg, but that felt too intimate. Then he got the idea of what he wanted to do.

“Wait here for a second.” You two had been sitting on his floor just chatting when he said this, and he sprung up from his spot and ran to grab something. He grabbed his Fender. THE Fender. He sat back down, with it propped up at his side and his legs splayed out open in front of you. Then he motioned with his free hand in front of him, patting the space between his legs.

“Sit here.”

Obviously, you were dumbfounded but found yourself magnetically attracted to what it was he wanted from you. Before you knew it, you found yourself sitting straight up between his legs, your back to his front. At first, he made no motion to move, then he piped up.

“Um, it might be easier for me to do what I wanted to do if you lean back against me.”

“Oh… o-okay.”

You scooted back so your lower back was leaning against his lower abdomen and your back was almost flush against his chest. You then noticed he had placed his bass across your lap and was holding it in front of you. Your head was spinning for a number of reasons, mainly being from the contact. You could feel his uneven breaths on your ear and neck, light puffs of air that were cool against your hot skin.

“Listening to you tell me about yourself makes me want to give you a small bass lesson myself. Now, I know I am no prodigy, but I can show you the basics, since you already know how to play a string instrument. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with it before I do anything. My hands… will, um, have to be on yours to guide you. Is that o-okay?”

All you could do was nod. Your head was still in a haze because how had you ended up here? You thought you were going to a concert, and now you were getting a private and touchy bass lesson from your favorite musician of all time, and god, when did he become this handsome? Next thing you knew it had been almost forty-five minutes later and you two were interrupted by the intercom saying that the boys wanted John to join them for drinks. You two had been sitting impossibly close, and you were doing a really good job, impressive even, at learning the solo from “Liar.” John was honestly kind of shocked at how good you were and almost made that joke that you would be stealing his job from him. But he was a little bit too distracted by something else to make jokes. The entire time you two were playing together, his hands had not left yours, even though he said he would let you play on your own. Even when you did that, his hands would ghost over yours lightly, as if you were so delicate that he was going to break you. The light puffs of air were now harsh, shaky breaths down your collarbone, as his head came to rest on your shoulder in the crook of your neck, your head resting on his. You thought maybe it was your imagination, but at one point you swore you felt his hips shift a little bit to create some friction between you two, and that his lips at one point ghosted your neck. You both were in heaven, and the fact that they boys ruined it by wanting to drink was just plain wrong. He eventually pried himself away from you, lingering as long as he could, and looking at you with lidded eyes. You were returning the look.

“Wow, um… you’re really good at that.”

“Thank you. I… I had no idea, honestly.” You both spoke your words breathily, neither admitting to other what you were feeling in the pits of your stomachs.

“Listen, Y/N. We have another show, not an hour from here in two nights, and frankly, I would, I would love to see you again. If I provide the ticket and get you here, will you come backstage and watch the show from there?”

“Do I even need to answer that question, Deaky?” You were smiling insanely wildly at him, giggling like you were sixteen years old again. He just returned it, and then his eyes lit up before asking you another question.

“This is going to be a little strange, but can I have your address? I want to send you something, but I want it to be a surprise.”

The next day, you found yourself at home wishing that tomorrow would come quicker so you could see John again for whatever he had planned, when you heard the mail carrier come with your package. He actually knocked, which meant you had to sign for it, meaning it was large. You walked to the door and the last thing you expected to see was in his hands. A bass case. You nonchalantly signed for it, and then ran up to your bedroom to open the case. It was a simple black, with the postage stuff stuck right to it. When you opened it up, the bass inside was covered by a pale-yellow silk covering, and on top was a handwritten note from him, with the VIP backstage pass he promised.

“Hello, love. You moved me so much with your story and what happened yesterday that it only felt right to give you this. It isn’t the Fender we used, but it is my other personal Fender that I have used in shows before. Even signed the head for you. Yes, I want you to keep it, and anytime you’re at a show, bring it with you and we can have another lesson. You mean a lot to me, Y/N, and I hope that after the show we will stay in touch, maybe become closer than we were that night. I’ll see you soon, love. xx, John.”

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charsimatic · 6 years ago

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All the super detailed questions for Faye please

YES. PLEASE. I am all for this!

My bby.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

“My name is Faye Elizabeth Ross. I’m not sure why my mom and dad chose my name, other than my mom liked fairies and my grandmother’s name was Elizabeth, for the middle name. I like it, though!”

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

“Uh…titles? I’m a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, fiance, and mother. Do those count?”

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

“I LOVED my childhood, most of it anyway. I remember my mom and dad taking me and my sisters to Six Flags one summer. I was maybe 3? 4? So I couldn’t ride all the big rides Mads and Jaymie were riding cause I wasn’t tall enough, and I was SO mad. So my dad put me up on his shoulders and took me to go get ice cream. We hid it from my sisters!

Everyone knows the bad memory, but if you want me to refresh it, the last thing I remember seeing is trees rushing up towards the window.”

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

“My relationship with them was great. I have lots of memories where I was giggling and laughing and smiling, I was just an overall happy kid.”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

“I have two older sisters, Madlaina and Jaymie. When we were kids, Mads and I didn’t get along AT ALL. I think it was the age difference. She tried to boss me around and I wouldn’t take it, and that would piss her off! She’s 11 years older than me. Jaymie and I have always gotten along. Jaymie was thrilled to have a little sister, and treated me more like a delicate baby doll and loved to play with me. I went to her for advice for everything. Since becoming adults, my relationship with Mads has gotten better, but she’s so busy with her career I hardly ever get to see her. We try to talk every day though!”

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

“I was pretty average, I think. I listened, but I got busted for talking. I got a detention for fighting another girl on the playground once, cause she called me a dumb blonde. I enjoyed it, and I did graduate high school, which was a challenge, because I had Sophia in my senior year. I decided not to go to college to focus on her, but now that I’m getting married and everything and will soon have FIVE kids to support rather than one, I’d like to go back to school for something.”

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

“I was pretty outgoing, so I made friends easily. Keeping them was harder, especially after the accident. They didn’t know what to say to me. Two of my friends stayed in my life for the long haul- my fiance, Freeman, and my best friend AND maid of honor, Braylee! The three of us hung out all the time as kids and have always been close. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

“We had a dog growing up named Missy. She was a lab and the sweetest dog ever. She died when I was five, though, she was old. I now have a dog with my family.”

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

“I think so, my dog seems to love me! I also had an asshole cat, well, my sister did, who wouldn’t leave me alone when I lived with her. He was SO rude, but he loved me.”

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

“I LOVE children and I LOVE having children! While they drive me insane on a regular basis, they also bring me incredible joy and they are FUNNY.

I try to be as laid back as possible with my kids, but my anxiety has been bad lately with Freeman’s job, so I think that went out the window.”

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

“Nope.”

12. What is their favourite food?

“Food in general. Especially right now. Pregnant with twins? I’ll eat anything you put in front of me.”

13. What is their least favourite food?

“KALE. Who in their right mind eats that stuff?”

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

“My mom’s tater tot casserole. She made it for all of us, usually on Sunday’s. All three of us have the recipe, I just haven’t had the chance to make it yet. It is SO. GOOD.”

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

“Eh…I’m getting better, since I have to cook for the kids most nights right now, whenever Freeman is on a job or working late. I used to absolutely suck at it.”

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

“I don’t, really. Unless it’s deer things. I like deer.”

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

“When you have young kids, you have more photos than you know what to do with.”

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

“Romance, romance, pop and country, comedy and drama, romance, and eh, I don’t really play video games.”

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

“Horror. And rap. Enough said.”

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

“I LOVE musicals! I’ve made Freeman watch a few with me too! I’m always listening to music- when I’m cooking, cleaning, driving, whatever. And I dance. Badly. I make it a point to dance as terribly as I can. My kids hate it.”

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

“I was very quick to anger for a while, and sometimes, I still can be, but I’ve been actively trying to take a deep breath or walk away if I can until I’m not as angry anymore. I cry when I lose my temper and start screaming.”

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

“I playfully insult my sisters. I’ll call them bitch, asshole, stuff like that, but I really don’t like to actually insult people.”

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

“Next question. Sore subject.”

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

“I sleep okay now, but for a while after the incident I slept like absolute shit. I tossed and turned and had nightmares every night. Now, with two almost preteens, a toddler, and twins in my tummy? I sleep like the dead.

Also, I like to sleep on Freeman.” *Grins*

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

“I find a lot of things funny, and I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I don’t know if I’m funny, but I make people laugh cause I can’t get through a joke or story without cracking myself up, and that makes other people laugh, so.”

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

“I sing, dance, hum, smile, I get really loving and cuddly, too.”

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

“Uh, what doesn’t make me sad? You know those EVIL commercials they play to try and get you to donate to animal shelters? Water works. I don’t really hide it, unless it’s something big that I’m not ready to explain to my children. I get really mopey or irritable, and I get angry at myself for not being able to snap out of it.”

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

“Losing my family and children. It’s happened before and they had to give me a tranquilizer.”

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

“Middle? I dunno. I try to help them if I can, or try to soothe their fears.”

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

“I do exercise. I gained a LOT of weight in the hospital and hated myself, and I’ve finally gotten to a place where I’m happy.”

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

“I don’t really drink, but I’ve gotten tipsy a couple times with Braylee over girls night.”

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

“I’m a mom, I dress like a mom!” *Laughs* “I try to find things that are 1- on sale, 2- cute, and 3- comfortable. Bonus if it can be easily washed because I’m clumsy and, again, I have a toddler.”

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

“Comfy granny panties if I’m lounging around the house or it’s shark week. Lacey when I’m uh…” *Clears throat* “I’ve also been known to wear Freeman’s boxers, but that sorta…drives him wild…so I have to be careful.”

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

“Slim but curvy. Curves came after kiddos. My dancer body is all but gone.”

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

“Guilty pleasure? Dance moms. Sorry not sorry, I’m sucked into the drama and I love critiquing the dances. Unguilty pleasure? Chocolate. Who doesn’t love chocolate?”

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

“GOODNESS no, I can’t sing. But I do still like to dance a bit, and bake.”

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

“I read every night before bed. I’ve been reading forever, so I read pretty quickly. I like fiction. I don’t really like poetry.”

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

“I wish I could sing! My niece, Emily, can sing, but she doesn’t plan on doing anything with it, which makes me sad.

I admire truthfulness, kindness, and a soft heart. That’s hard to keep.”

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

“Freeman and I leave each other little love letters all the time!”

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

“Coffee, and I drink it throughout the day because I’m trying to keep up with Caleb, organize the girls schedules, and get them to and from their sports and stuff. I just started driving again, it was a necessity.”

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

“My sexuality is Freeman!” *Giggles* “Look at him. That’s what I find attractive. He’s hot. He’s also incredibly loving and caring, hilarious, and a fantastic father to our children. He’s also..” *Breaths and blushes, fanning herself* “Amazing. In bed.”

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

“I want to raise my children to the best of my ability and make sure they’re healthy and happy. I would sacrifice anything for them. And my secret ambition? I’ve been thinking more and more of opening a cafe…”

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

“I believe in God. He’s saved me and my family quite a few times. I don’t…think anything of non-religious people? Believe whatever you’d like, it’s not harming me or anyone else.”

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

“Season, summer. Weather, a good mix between sunny and rainy. I’m better in the heat, and I complain when it’s too cold!”

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

“I don’t know how others see me. I hope they like what they see!”

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

“I just try to be myself and be approachable.”

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

“I don’t mind dressing up every now and then. It makes you feel good. Pretty. But I usually can’t wait to kick off my heels and curl up in my pjs as soon as we get home!”

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

“I like having friends over, but I’ve never really been a party-er”

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

“A shirt of my mom’s and my dad’s watch. They’re both in my closet, in a safe.”

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

“Clothing for daytime and sleeping, shoes, sunglasses, chargers, first aid kit. And a book. And a sippy cup!”

#Faye Ross #Anonymous #Fayeman

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chrishansler · 6 years ago

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What the hell, God?

On April 21st I lost my dad after complications from pneumonia and congestive heart failure. My dad was my hero and lived a great, long life. This left my mom alone in their house. Mom has always been a kind, capable woman. But now grieving the loss of her husband of 66 years, unable to drive and battling lewy body dementia, she was in need of significant care. My four siblings and I began to provide around the clock care until we realized this was unsustainable at which point we begin to hire caregivers to help in her home while we give as much time to her as we possibly can. Her home is her safe, familiar place which is important with this type of dementia, so we have done our best to keep her there, although the exorbitant cost of 24/7 care as well as the demands of the upkeep of her home have become untenable.

Lisa’s mom, Bonnie, was also dealing with dementia. It had gotten to the point where she could no longer cook or bake or care for the home – all things she was renowned for. Lisa and her siblings cared for their parents and they also hired caregivers to provide additional assistance. In the early summer Bonnie discovered that she had sarcoma cancer in the abdomen. This began a treatment of 30 days of radiation, driving her up to Seattle every day. Lisa and I found ourselves spending nights each week at our respective parents’ houses to provide them as much care and support as we could. Bonnie made it through the treatments, but the cancer continued to spread and more and more care was required.

At a conference in Anaheim in late June my laptop was stolen. In the ensuing weeks we discovered that they had used information off the laptop to steal our identities. There were dozens of attempts to make purchases and open credit cards in our names. Though we took all the necessary steps including fraud alerts, cancelling accounts, police reports and credit freezes, both of our credit scores, spotless up until then, took dramatic hits.

It became clear that my mom would not be able to afford to live in her home for the long term, so Lisa and I made the decision in the fall to take my mom into our home, but our house was not conducive to this. After wrestling through the damage to our credit with our lender, we put our home on the market in November, it sold on December 4th and we put an offer on a new home that would allow mom to move in with us. To our surprise, the buyers of our home wanted to close on our home by no later than December 31st. We were hoping for a close on December 28th, our 33rd wedding anniversary! They were pre-approved and ready to go. This set us on a track to close our new home also by December 31st. The holidays were going to be a whirlwind! We got our house ready for the move, packing, getting rid of things we didn’t need, making repairs and cleaning all of the various nooks and crannies. We lived in that home for 24 years so we found many surprises in the nooks and memories in the crannies 😊; we raised our kids there, but we are excited about our new adventure.

We tried our best to maintain some semblance of Christmas, putting up lights and our tree, knowing they would have to all come down on December 26th. Two of our three adult kids as well as their significant others came home for Christmas and to help us prepare for the move.

On the morning of Wednesday, December 26th Lisa had a doctor appointment to check a lump they were concerned about. We didn’t expect a problem. In fact, that morning my kids and I went up to the snow before coming back to take down our Christmas decorations. I was stunned when Lisa told me that they wanted her back that afternoon for biopsies because they suspected breast cancer. We went back, she had the biopsies and the doctor showed us the areas of concern and told us it would probably be Monday, December 31st when we would hear the definitive results.

Meanwhile, Lisa’s mom had taken a significant turn for the worse. She was now on hospice care and had stopped eating on Sunday, December 23rd.

On December 27th we did all we could to prepare the house for the move. There had been some sort of possible hiccup in the buyers’ funding so we had to sign an extension for the possibility of a delayed closing. Lisa needed to be with her mom and dad that night so she spent the night there as her mom struggled to breath. I joined her, her siblings and their spouses from 11:00 pm – 1:30 am, singing songs, telling stories, laughing and crying. We knew the end was close.

I woke on December 28th, called Lisa to wish her a happy anniversary and hoped for the remote possibility of the closing of the sale of our home. We had a crew coming on Saturday, December 29th to help us load our moving truck, so my son Johnathan and I continued to pack, take down Christmas lights and prepare the house for the move. At about noon I received the call from Lisa that her mom had died. I raced to be with her. Less than an hour after her mom passed, Lisa received a call from her doctor informing her that the biopsy results had come in and she indeed had breast cancer as well as cancer in her lymph node. We wept, and we prayed, and we told our kids.

On Saturday, December 29th a good crew showed up at our home and we packed the moving truck. On Sunday, December 30th some dear friends joined us at our home and we cleaned and cleaned and cleaned the house, expecting for a December 31st move. The move to the new house was a little piece of anticipated joy in the midst of a pretty difficult few days. But on December 31st it became clear that our closing would be delayed until January 3rd. So we took clothes that would get us by for a few days, took our dog and cat and went to stay at Lisa’s dad’s home. We would have to keep the moving truck extra days as well as our storage unit until the house closed, incurring additional unexpected costs. Our oldest son (Bobby) arrived from Massachusetts on the 31st to help us with the move into the new house and to be here for his Grandma’s funeral.

New Year’s Day was a welcome day off except for the fact that the Huskies lost the Rose Bowl. We took a little trip to drive by our new house and the neighborhood it was in so our son could see it, and we had a chance to rest as we prepared for the move. Lisa found out that she would have an MRI on Monday, January 7th. Our daughter (Annie) would fly back from L.A. on January 4th and our other son would be coming home on January 4th for the January 5th funeral. Both Bobby and Annie would fly back home on January 7th.

Today, January 2nd I received noticed that due to some unfortunate misguided decisions on the part of our home buyer and lender, our house closing would once again be delayed but this time until January 7th. Our clothing is all packed in the moving truck. I am officiating the funeral and have no dress clothes. Lisa’s dresses, shoes, etc are all tucked deep in the back of the moving truck. January 7th is the day of Lisa’s MRI, our kids flying back home, and our moving helpers are all back to work, school, etc. My dad had a saying that came to mind, “Smile, things could get worse. So I smiled, and sure enough, things got worse.”

I couldn’t believe it, and I found myself saying, “What the hell, God?” How many more painful and disappointing things can happen – particularly to my wife - in such a short window of time?

I know that some people might get offended that I would say, “What the hell, God?” But if you are more concerned about the fact that I would say “what the hell” than the actual hell my wife has been dealing with this week then you probably shouldn’t be the person I talk to today. There is a delicate balance between our faith and our humanity. We know God can cause things, can stop things and can do the miraculous. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t. But we also hurt, get angry, feel exhausted, scared and overwhelmed. King David expressed these sentiments when he said things like, “How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?” (Ps. 13:1) and “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Ps. 22:1). We know that Jesus quoted these very words on the cross.

I think God is okay when we get gut-level honest with him. It’s not like it is a secret to him. We don’t have to put on an act with God. He hurts with us. He weeps over the effects of this world’s brokenness. He gets angry at injustice. But the truth is, sometimes I wish he’d just fix it. In moments like this we have a choice in what we believe. Either:

1. God is not there, or he is distant and apathetic towards us. In this case we just walk away rather than beat our heads against the disappointment of false hope. There is no point in expressing emotion to a God who isn’t there.

2. God is very much there and is the source of strength we will need to get through. In this case we lean in to Him and trust Him to help us through. It is precisely because we believe in God – in His love for us and in his ability and desire to work on our behalf; in Jesus’ promise to be with us always – that we can say, “what the hell, God?” Because if we believe He can, we’ll need at times to wrestle with why He doesn’t.

Lisa and I are going to do our very best to take our cues from heaven and not from earth. Sometimes we feel afraid, but God reminds us that he has not given us a spirit of fear. Sometimes we worry about the “what-ifs” but Jesus reminds us that he is the Prince of Peace. Sometimes we feel abandoned by God, but then we are reminded through the beautiful expressions of love from so many people that He is represented through each of them. Sometimes we might say, “what the hell, God?” and He listens and reminds us that he may not always remove the storm, but he will certainly be with us through it.

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heatherrosebabcock · 6 years ago

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(Not So) Safe in Hell: The Working Class Heroines of Pre-Code Hollywood

Like many women, I was inspired and empowered by the Me Too movement but it also brought back a lot of painful memories. Most of us have probably encountered a "Harvey Weinstein" at some point in our professional lives - I know I have. This type of sexual predator lurks not only in Hollywood but in any environment where there is a power imbalance, which is most workplaces. So whether you are a waitress, a poet, a sales clerk or an administrative assistant, you learn to acquiesce. You learn quickly not to say anything because he's "the boss", "the big cheese" or he's friends with so-and-so who is "really important" and besides, maybe you totally misunderstood and who do you think YOU are anyway?! So you shut up and the silence strangles you. People like Harvey Weinstein do what they do because they know they can do it - they know that we live in a society that values money and status above kindness and integrity. They believe that their wealth and position entitles them to do what they want to whomever they want and what is worse they know the people around them believe this too.

Today, the working class and the working poor rarely see their lives represented on the big screen but this was not always the case. As I have stated here before, during Hollywood’s Pre-Code period (1930-1934), movies that came out of the Warner Brothers studio catered to a working-class audience. For a brief moment in time blue collar workers, taxi drivers, waitresses, maids and the unemployed could see images of themselves up on the silver screen. It is therefore not surprising that many of these films addressed sexual harassment in the workplace with a bluntness and honesty that is rarely seen in the movies today. (It must be noted that, according to author David Thomson in his brilliant book Warner Bros: The Making of an American Movie Studio (2017), Harry Warner rebuked actors who sexually harassed secretaries.)

“I related to shop girls and chorus girls, just ordinary gals who were hoping,” said Joan Blondell, one of Warner Brothers’ most prolific stars. “I would get endless fan mail from girls saying ‘that is exactly what I would have done, if I’d been in your shoes, you did exactly the right thing.’”**

Blondell plays a hotel maid in the romantic comedy/crime drama Blonde Crazy (1931). In one scene, a lecherous salesman asks for towels and then tries to grab her. Blondell pushes him away and angrily stuffs his merchandise – the pearls of a broken necklace – down the back of his pants. She gives him a swift sucker-punch in the butt before bolting from the room. Although the scene is played for laughs – and the laughs are at the salesman, not Blondell – her character’s frustration is palpable.

Workplace sexual harassment is presented with much more gravity in William A. Wellman’s Night Nurse (1931). In the film, the incomparable Barbara Stanwyck portrays an idealistic rookie nurse who discovers that the children she has been hired to take care of are being starved to death by their alcoholic mother’s lover (played by a young Clark Gable). The police and the head doctor refuse to help her so she must save the children on her own – with a little help from the friendly neighborhood bootlegger (Ben Lyon). Night Nurse (1931) is the epitome of Pre-Code Hollywood and illustrative of the cynicism that many Americans were feeling at the time toward authority figures and Prohibition (the bootlegger saves the day!). But it also serves as an example of the real life violence and harassment that nurses and Personal Support Workers (PSWs) experience on a daily basis (today, Stanwyck’s character would probably be called a PSW rather than a nurse). In one scene, a friend of her wealthy employer grabs and forcibly kisses her. In another, Gable’s character literally twists her arm and then punches her. For most of the film, her nurse uniform invites both ridicule and sexual come-ons. If you think that incidents like these only happened in the 1930s or in the movies, think again. In 2017, an Ontario Council of Hospital Unions poll found that 68% of nurses and PSWs across Ontario had experienced physical violence on the job at least once during the year and that 42% had experienced sexual harassment and assault. And those were just the incidents that were reported. Watching Night Nurse (1931), I had the sinking feeling that many nurses and PSWs today would sadly relate to the violence and harassment faced by Stanwyck’s character. Night Nurse (1931) was released eighty-seven years ago – when was the last time you saw a Hollywood movie about a Personal Support Worker?

Other Warner Brothers’ movies attempted to turn the tables on the sexual harassment faced by working class women. In Baby Face (1933), Stanwyck plays an impoverished young woman who, sick of being used sexually by men, decides instead to use men “to get what she wants”: namely, sleeping her way up the corporate ladder of a bank (literally “screwing” the bank – Depression era audiences must have really gotten a kick out of that!). Female (1933) took it one step further: in this delightful film, Ruth Chatterton portrays Alison Drake, an intelligent, no-nonsense woman who is the president of an automobile factory. However Alison is not all work and no play: by day, she is all business but by night she slinks around her apartment in a skimpy gown, serving vodka to her suitors (many of whom are her employees) to “fortify their courage”. Her seduction technique involves playing the music from Footlight Parade (1933) on the Victrola and tossing a silk pillow onto the floor. “I decided to travel the same open road that men do,” she candidly tells a friend. When asked whether she’d ever like to settle down and find a husband, she replies “I’d rather have a canary.”

While the shop girls and secretaries who came out to see these films in droves may have smiled and thrilled to the exploits of Joan Blondell, Barbara Stanwyck and Ruth Chatterton, most knew that they themselves would never get away with socking the jaw of a lecherous boss or breaking a bottle over the head of a grabby customer. At best, they would get fired. At worst they would end up in prison. Either way, they would be at risk of never working again. This reality is illustrated in William A. Wellman’s Safe in Hell (1931), a precursor to film noir. In this haunting film, Dorothy Mackaill plays a woman who is fired from her job as a housekeeper after her employer’s wife walks in on him raping her (this story is told by Mackaill’s character months after the assault and she never uses the word “rape”, although it is strongly implied; “rape” was considered a taboo word in the 1930s). Blackballed from finding another reputable job, Mackaill is forced to turn to prostitution. Although she never worked as a prostitute, my great-grandmother Nellie probably could have related to Gilda, Mackaill’s character in the film. Like Gilda, Nellie worked as a “domestic servant”. Newly widowed in the early 1920s and needing to find employment in order to regain custody of her children who had been put in an orphanage, Nellie answered an ad in the Globe to work as a housekeeper for a farmer. She quickly learned that in addition to cooking and cleaning, the farmer expected her to perform “wifely duties”. Afraid of losing her children again, she acquiesced. In 1928, Nellie was found dead in the field outside of the farmer’s home: the coroner listed the primary cause of her death as suicide from poison.

Whenever I watch Safe in Hell (1931), I think of my great-grandmother Nellie and of all the working class heroines like her, whose stories were spoken in whispers - or never told at all.

** Note: Joan Blondell quote is from David Thomson’s book Warner Bros: The Making of an American Movie Studio (2017)

#joan blondell #barbara stanwyck #dorothy mackaill #warner brothers #pre-code hollywood #classic hollywood #working women #working girls #women in hollywood #me too #1930s movies #1930s #the great depression #movie reviews

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