#Post-surgery food diary

[peachychip85000]

i need this surgery to happen like ASAP bc I wanna get back to streaming soon~!!!! and also bc keeping track of a food journal fucking sucks

[never-not-ever]

First Week Outpatient

August 1st-7th

So I discharged around 1pm on that Thursday. For weeks prior I had been taking useless junk home so that on my day of discharge I wouldn’t be walking the hall with ten thousand bags drawing attention to me. I just wanted to leave quietly and not make a big deal about it.

I had to stop at my PACT teams office for my meds. I have a therapist, psychiatrist, case manager and a nurse on my team there. My nurse packs my meds for me in a weekly pill organizer. I’ve always told my IP doctor to not discharge me with a months supply of meds and it just so happened to work out that with PACT they offer the weekly medication pickup. So I went straight there and then headed home because I had a virtual appointment with my therapist at 4.

After that me and my Nana drove my nephew back home in NH cause he had been staying at my Nana’s. On the way back home I stopped to get groceries and was panicking so much in the store. I still remember what stoplight we were at when it became 8:00. Staring at the time I kept thinking I should be back at McLean, this is the latest time you have to return from a pass. This isn’t right. I shouldn’t be outside right now. It’s too dark. That day felt like a pass. I remember freaking out in my kitchen that night, hyperventilating and trying to calm myself down saying “you’re going to be back on the campus tomorrow, less than 24 hours, it’s going to be okay, it's going to be okay”.

Anyways, Jesus, if I write so much nonsense these updates are going to be essays. Stick to the important stuff!! Okay so I started PHP the next day on Friday. I’ll add these in the tags but I’ll post a warning here too. There’s going to be talk of drinking and self harm and restricting. So partial was Friday and then Saturday night I got drunk and self harmed for the first time in over 6 weeks. I bought a 6 pack of White Claw and the whole 6 was just the right amount to get blissfully drunk and escape for a bit. Alcohol affects me differently after having weight loss surgery so I honestly don't know if 6 is the standard or way too much?

Monday I told my program psychiatrist and she wanted to look at my arm but I didn’t have extra bandaids so she told me to bring some the next day. I also met with my program therapist and we talked about starting a diary card and what to track. I told her how since I’ve been home I’m not hungry/eating and I’m not complaining. Saturday when I got drunk all I had that day was applesauce around lunchtime. So I mentioned the word “restricting” and tried to give the short version of my fucked up body image, losing (necessary) weight, losing it in a healthy way and also unhealthy ways at times, that I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I know I have a fucked up relationship with food and my body….

So later that evening I got a phone call from disability. I should have applied back in September but instead I didn’t apply until April. They said it could take 6 months before I get a decision on my application. For months I kept checking online to see how much of my application had been looked at it. I needed money and felt like such a financial burden on my Nana. I had just borrowed money from her to pay my phone bill and an hour later disability called asking more questions that I’ve already answered in the past. She said she was the final person to review my application and that she’d be making a decision soon. If my application gets approved then I could be seeing a check within the next 4 weeks...

The following morning I checked my bank account and saw an ungodly amount of money, like two months worth of paychecks from my old job. I could actually pay my Nana back for all the money she’s given me while inpatient and afford to buy stuff to redo my apartment. And after seeing this money in my account I cried, not tears of joy but because I realized that even with this financial issue being lifted it still didn’t change how badly I wanted to end my life. Obviously money doesn’t buy happiness but like that money lifted a huge weight off my chest and it still didn’t matter. My passive SI, self harm urges and depression was shit when I discharged and it was just slowly getting worse.

So back to the timeline. So that "money thing" happened Tuesday morning. I brought bandaids to PHP and mind you I didn’t know what my arm looked like. I didn’t know if it was bad, I just slapped bandaids on it Saturday night and never looked at it again until that day when my doctor looked at it. It was so triggering seeing it. I'm going to get real descriptive here but I've never been able to cut over scars before. Maybe it's what I use but still I've basically run out of room on my go to arm. But drunk I was able to do it and deep. Two cuts, and obviously too much time had passed for me to get stitches but she still wanted me to go to Urgent Care after the program just to make sure it wasn’t infected. I felt like I was wasting their time. Going 3 days later just to get it re-bandaged… the nurse was so nice but the doctor seemed irritated. I think I spent almost 2 hours there, so pointless. They gave me a prescription for an ointment for my arm and they put in my chart that it “could have used stitches”. I never picked up the ointment.

Wednesday when I met with my psychiatrist she brought that up and said that if it happened again she wanted me to get seen right away.

11:19am Wed “I feel strange today. Maybe strange is the wrong word, disconnected? Empty, low, low energy. I can stare at the floor and get lost in my head.”

I started “seeing” my new therapist in the beginning of July but it was always virtual until that day. At 4 I had my first in person appointment and after the day being weird and shitty I was looking forward to it. But it was horrible.

So on the way home I went shopping. Dropped a couple hundred at Aerie and American Eagle and this was the start to my spending sprees. I FaceTimed with that friend I texted and it was a nice ending to the crappy day.

[alyosiuscreightonward]

Dear Diary. It started some years ago when I was living in TX. I had passed my first kidney stone and fuck it was not a pleasant experience. I was really high on the medication they gave me. I clearly remember that the nurse asked me how I was feeling. I told her that I was at 72K feet yet the pain was still at eleven or twelve. She was aghast and got up to the doctor. He came in and asked me the same questions. I’m sure he didn’t know what to think but he ordered something else for the IV. I leveled out and the pain went down to tolerable and then they sent me home. I got home, took 3 Advil Liquigels and a few hits of a joint and went to sleep.

Just recently I passed another kidney stone or two. Again nearly the same experience as before.

I went home and did some research on reputable sites and even the kidney foundation. I learned a lot. The processed foods that I was eating are a contributing factor in this equation. All the salt and sugar are the names of things that are nearly impossible to pronounce correctly are fucking up my kidneys.

I went to the urologist and he told me that more tests are required. The diagnosis is Gross Hematuria. Blood in my urine.

Some of things that are important to learn about these kidney stones is that they are not good. Possibly heart disease. Also prostate cancer, a family history. I know that it can be treated with surgery, a Transurethral Resection of The Prostrate and Radioactive Seeds. Then there are other treatments and surgeries.

Yet I’m conflicted.

I’ve never been so nervous. I’ve gone 99.9% vegan. I don’t cook with salt. I only put sugar in my coffee. Eating quinoa, wheat berry, lentils and other vegetables. It’s tough but I do it regardless.

As I contemplate my navel, I know I’ve been a douche bag and just an absolute jerk. I know that my life means nothing to you and my words have wounded you.

I am so sure that you will have nothing to say to me and now, you are on the precipice of getting your way and I’ve been trying to get to a point where I need to make a decision. Do I just roll with it and do all the things that my doctor suggests or do I ignore him? Peggy Lee once said, I’m not ready for that final disappointment.

I am.

I know that there plenty of words to describe me and I deserve them all and I will accept them all. I know that you are correct, I know nothing about your life. You know more about my life than anyone should because I am incapable of lying to you.

I’m not sure if you have seen my posts on Instagram but if you have, then you know.

Fuck. I’m sorry for existing.

[anotherfauxredhead]

The Post-Bisalp Diaries, Part Two: Survival Of The Tubeless

Happy Two Week Anniversary of me noping the fallopes!

When I was reading up on how others managed post-Bisalp before my own surgery, I saw suggestions like "take Gas-X for bloating", "use stool softeners so you don't 'strain' yourself", "have a heating pad for the shoulder pain", and so forth. They sounded helpful, and it was a good thing I had that stuff already on hand (for other reasons).

That said, here's what really helped me out during my recovery. ***DISCLAIMER*** Your mileage may vary, all bodies are different, and I sure as shit am no doctor or medical practitioner!

*Turmeric-Curcumin Pills*

It's what I first turn to when I get crap like PMS cramps or headaches. I do have ibuprofen on hand, but it's more of a last resort remedy for me. The ones I've been taking post-surgery are Gaia Herbs Turmeric Supreme, but I also have Terry Naturally's Curamin (regular strength) pills.

*CBD Stuff*

Thank goodness I live in a state where CBD products are legal to own. Tinctures and gummies, particularly the ones from Lazarus Naturals, have been a godsend.

*Probiotics*

I still took probiotics pre-surgery, albeit in food form (yogurt, sauerkraut, etc.) since I couldn't have supplements then. When I learned that I was given antibiotics during my surgery, I knew I needed to take probiotics later in the day; it's what balances out your digestive system after the antibiotics fuck with it. Maybe it could explain why, even if my appetite was reduced for the first few days, I didn't have bad gas. I took a high-dose probiotic (think the pills with over 40+billion cultures) in the first week, then, for the second week, went down to probiotics with no more than 25 billion cultures. And some low-sugar yogurt.

*Pedialyte Pops*

Like with many others who had a Bisalp, sore throat is a common post-surgery symptom. (It's the result of having a breathing tube down your throat during the procedure.) Though I had regular popsicles on hand, I ended up buying Pedialyte Freezer Pops as well as they also have electrolytes in them. And they're also fairly low sugar!

*Thrift Stores*

So I had to change up my wardrobe a bit for my recovery. A month leading up to my surgery, I got some jumpsuits, loose, high waisted pants with a comfortable waistband, slip-in shoes so I don't have to bend over and tie my shoes, and even a bed rest pillow in case I felt like a lazy-ass. Thanks to thrift stores, I got all that for a bargain. Who the fuck needs Wal-Mart?

By the way, because of my need to be active, and me fighting the fatigue during the first few days of recovery, I didn't use that bed rest pillow. I guess I may need it down the road, and it only cost me $5.

*Eating Low-Carb, Minimally Processed Foods*

Having been on Keto for the past few years, the diet has not only helped me shed blubber, but I've become more active from it. I can't say if eating low-carb/sugar-free foods and minimally processed foods helped my body heal quicker, but, save for the first three days after surgery, I never felt sluggish in my recovery.

*A Decent Landlord & Loan Deferments*

OK, forget the physical aspects of my recovery; it's the financial aspects that took the real beating. I'm able to receive Short Term Disability while out from work (I do not work from home and my job is very physical), but waiting for the payments have become a pain in the clit. I'm still waiting for them, and it just happens to be a holiday weekend right now. Just my luck! So, I like to give a shout-out to my landlord who was cool with me underpaying my rent for this upcoming month, and the few loan companies who I have accounts with that were able to postpone my payments so I don't go so broke to where I need to sell my sterilized ass on the streets for a few bucks. (Like, literally a few bucks--it's the going rate for old millennial ass.)

Also, a friendly reminder that just because one is childfree doesn't mean they got deep pockets. Some of those "I got to vacation in Italy last week 'cause I got no kids!!!!" posts you see on Reddit's Childfree subreddit are likely made-up as hell (it's Reddit, after all). Now that I think about it, I think I'm more of a WINK (What Income? No Kids) instead of a SINK at the moment.

A Few Things I Got/Have That I Didn't Need In The End...

--GasX pills (I was never really gassy, and they were the 99-Cent Store version as opposed to the name brand, so I didn't lose money on that)

--Shoulder/Heating Pad (others have suggested it, but I only used it just once and that was because it was a cold night)

--stool softeners (I think the probiotics helped me out with this one)

--ibuprofen (took it once and it fucked with me. I'm used to the 200mg pills, but 600mg per pill?! Fuck no!)

--prescribed oxycodone (didn't even open that shit)

And A Couple Things You Don't Need To Buy...

--disposable underwear (the hospital will provide you with as many pairs as you need. I never bled, thankfully, but I was still given a few pairs.)

--anti-nausea patch (another thing the hospital will give you, but only if you request it. I could've saved myself $6 from the pack of anti-nausea patches I bought on eBay! *punches air*)

*****

Again, what helped me out post-Bisalp may or may not help the next person in recovery. If there's one thing I highly recommend that will help the next person recover from a Bisalp smoothly, it's having plenty of money so you don't have to worry about financial shit like me.

**ETA: Tumblr told me this is my 100th post here. I'd celebrate but I also outed myself as a broke bitch in the post, so...

[struggling-to-be-healthy]

girl i'm sorry that you have gained weight, i know it sucks but on the other hand... i've seen the food diary you post and it's like, this is supposed the eating of someone trying to lose weight, and it's just junk food. i know you do ww and their system is different with the points etc but like, cookies, tacos, pretzels, pasta... and everything is processed... this is so harsh but you do tag your posts as accountability and idk maybe you need someone with an outside perspective to go 'you are never going to lose weight if this is what you are eating'. that's what i would be eating if i wanted to gain weight, fast. i think you really need to re-assess. your step count is always amazing, i wish i could do so many, but the food is always gonna let u down :(

Yeah, you're probably right.

I'm gone 12+ hours a day for my job. It's made things difficult. I eat breakfast at about 4:30 a.m. By 9-10 a.m. I'm starving. I have a clif bar for the energy and protein. I have lunch that I packed around 12:30. On my drive home I eat a single serving of pretzels because I'm hungry. When I get home around 5:30 p.m. my roommate has dinner ready, or I help her prepare it. She found out she's pre-diabetic last year. Most of the stuff she makes is high in fat. I'm not in a place where I can be making my own dinners right now. My boyfriend and I are moving out soon so that will change.

I just had surgery. I didn't eat for three days and then I didn't have an appetite for a week. So yeah, I probably over indulged when my appetite returned.

Not all the food I have eaten is visible in my screenshots. I eat a lot of eggs, fruits, chicken, and vegetables that just aren't visible. I'm not going to screenshot every meal separately.

Accountability can look different for everyone. Mine is that I'm tracking what I eat so I'm aware of it and I'm trying to get my steps in.

I have lost 50 pounds doing the same thing I am doing right now. I gain it back when I stop tracking, stop eating three meals a day, and stop walking as much.

I don't have much time to work out, but I do my best to get 10,000 steps. It's the one thing I'm only about half good at, thanks!

I appreciate the advice, and I'm obviously aware there are things I could do a lot better. I'm in a pretty big adjustment period right now. I started this job a month ago and I don't know where I'm going to be living in a month and a half.

[vedamgastrohospital]

Post-Colorectal Surgery Diet By The Best Colorectal Surgeon In Surat: Foods to Eat and Avoid

After a colorectal surgery the patient needs careful attention to diet as part of the recovery process. What you eat in the weeks and months following your procedure can significantly impact your healing, comfort, and overall health. This article from the expert doctors of Vedam Gastro Hospital, one of the best gastro hospitals in Surat, will guide you through the recommended foods to eat and avoid after colorectal surgery, helping you navigate your nutritional needs during this crucial time.

Understanding the Impact of Colorectal Surgery on Digestion

Colorectal surgery can temporarily alter your digestive system’s function. Your body needs time to adjust and heal, which is why following a specific diet is crucial. The goal is to minimize stress on your digestive tract while ensuring you receive adequate nutrition to support healing.

The Progression of Your Post-Surgery Diet

Your diet after colorectal surgery will typically progress through several stages:

1. Clear Liquids

2. Full Liquids

3. Low-Fiber Foods

4. Gradual Return to Normal Diet

Each stage may last a few days to a week, depending on your individual recovery. Always follow your gastrosurgeon’s specific instructions since they tailor the diet progression to match your needs.

Foods to Eat After Colorectal Surgery

Stage 1: Clear Liquids

- Water

- Clear broths

- Apple juice

- Clear sports drinks

- Popsicles (without fruit pulp)

- Jell-O

Doctors from Vedam Hospital, a stomach hospital in Surat, recommend these foods since they are easily digestible and help prevent dehydration without stressing your healing digestive system.

Stage 2: Full Liquids

- Milk

- Smooth yogurt (without fruits or seeds)

- Cream soups (strained)

- Protein shakes

- Puddings

Full liquids provide more nutrients while still being easy on your digestive tract.

Stage 3: Low-Fiber Foods

- White bread, pasta, and rice

- Well-cooked, skinless vegetables (e.g., carrots, green beans)

- Lean meats (chicken, fish, ground beef)

- Eggs

- Canned fruits (in juice, not syrup)

- Bananas

These foods are gentler on your digestive system than high-fibre options.

Stage 4: Gradual Return to Normal Diet

As you heal, you can slowly reintroduce other foods, including:

- Whole grains

- Raw vegetables

- Legumes

- Nuts and seeds

- Fresh fruits

Foods to Avoid After Colorectal Surgery

In the initial stages of recovery, the best gastro surgeons in Surat suggest avoiding foods that may irritate your digestive system or cause complications:

1. High-fibre foods: These can be hard to digest and may cause blockages. Avoid raw vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and seeds until your doctor gives you the go-ahead.

2. Spicy foods: These can irritate your digestive tract and cause discomfort.

3. Fatty or greasy foods: These are harder to digest and may cause diarrhoea.

4. Caffeine and alcohol: Both can irritate your digestive system and may interact with medications.

5. Carbonated beverages: These can cause gas and bloating.

6. Tough or stringy meats: These can be difficult to digest.

7. Foods known to cause gas: Examples include broccoli, cabbage, and beans.

Tips for Eating After Colorectal Surgery from The Best Colorectal Surgeon in Surat

1. Eat small, frequent meals: This can help prevent overwhelming your digestive system.

2. Chew food thoroughly: This aids digestion and prevents blockages.

3. Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of water, unless otherwise instructed by your doctor.

4. Introduce new foods slowly: Try one new food at a time to see how your body reacts.

5. Keep a food diary: This can help you and your healthcare team identify any problematic foods.

6. Take any prescribed supplements: Your body may need extra nutrients to heal properly.

7. Listen to your body: If a food causes discomfort, avoid it and discuss it with your healthcare provider.

The Importance of Nutritional Support

Proper nutrition is crucial for healing after colorectal surgery. Your body needs adequate protein, vitamins, and minerals to repair tissues and fight infection. If you’re struggling to eat enough or maintain a balanced diet, speak with a registered dietitian. They can help create a personalized nutrition plan that meets your needs while respecting any dietary restrictions.

Long-Term Dietary Considerations

As you recover, you’ll likely be able to return to a normal diet. However, some patients may need to make long-term dietary changes, especially if part of their colon was removed. Your healthcare team will guide you through any necessary long-term dietary modifications.

Remember, everyone’s recovery is unique. What works for one person may not work for another. Always follow your healthcare provider’s advice and communicate any concerns or issues you experience with your diet. With patience and proper nutrition, you can support your body’s healing process and gradually return to enjoying a wide variety of foods.

[drdhavalmangukiya]

Lifestyle Changes After Gallbladder Removal: Tips for a Healthy Digestive System From The Best Gallbladder Surgeon In Surat

Gallbladder removal, or cholecystectomy, is a common procedure for treating gallstones and other gallbladder-related issues. While the surgery often brings relief from pain and discomfort, it necessitates adjustments in your lifestyle, particularly in your diet and digestive habits. Your gallbladder plays a role in digesting fats by storing bile produced by the liver. Without it, your digestive system must adapt. Here are some practical tips from one of the best laparoscopic surgeons in Surat, Dr Dhaval Mangujiya, to help you maintain a healthy digestive system post-surgery.

The Role of Gallbladder

Before diving into lifestyle changes, it’s crucial to understand what the gallbladder does. The gallbladder stores bile, a digestive fluid produced by the liver. During meals, it releases bile into the small intestine to help break down fats. After its removal, bile flows directly from the liver to the small intestine in a less concentrated form. This change can impact digestion, especially fat digestion.

Adapting Your Diet

Dr Dhaval Mangukiya, who is well-known as one of the best gastrointestinal surgeons in Surat, suggests making the following changes in your diet after a gallbladder removal surgery:

1. Eat Smaller, More Frequent Meals

After gallbladder removal, your body can struggle with large, fatty meals. To ease digestion, switch to smaller, more frequent meals. Eating five to six small meals a day can help your digestive system manage bile flow more effectively and prevent overwhelming your intestines.

2. Choose Low-Fat Foods

Since your body has a harder time digesting fats without a gallbladder, focus on low-fat foods. Avoid fried foods, fatty meats, and full-fat dairy products. Instead, some of the best laparoscopic surgeons in Surat suggest opting for lean proteins such as lentils, oats, tofu, beans, chicken, turkey, and fish. Incorporate plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains into your diet to maintain a balanced intake of nutrients.

3. Gradually Reintroduce High-Fibre Foods

High-fibre foods like beans, legumes, and certain vegetables can initially cause discomfort or bloating after surgery. Gradually reintroduce these foods to your diet to give your digestive system time to adjust. Start with small portions and increase gradually based on your tolerance.

4. Monitor Dairy Intake

Some people experience difficulty digesting dairy products after gallbladder removal. If you notice bloating, gas, or diarrhea after consuming dairy, consider reducing your intake or switching to lactose-free or plant-based alternatives like almond or soy milk.

5. Drink Plenty of Water

Staying hydrated is vital for digestion and overall health. Aim to drink at least eight glasses of water a day. Proper hydration helps your body produce enough bile and keeps your digestive system functioning smoothly.

6. Avoid Sugary and Carbonated Beverages

Sugary drinks and carbonated beverages can cause bloating and discomfort. Limit your intake of sodas, sweetened teas, and energy drinks. Instead, focus on water, herbal teas, and natural fruit juices in moderation.

7. Chew Thoroughly and Eat Slowly

Take your time while eating. The best gastro surgeons in Surat, including Dr Dhaval Mangukiya, reveal that chewing food thoroughly and eating slowly aids in the digestive process by breaking down food more effectively and giving your body time to signal when you are full. This practice can help prevent overeating and reduce digestive discomfort.

8. Pay Attention to Your Body

Listen to your body’s signals. Keep a food diary to track what you eat and how it affects your digestion. This can help identify any specific foods that cause issues, allowing you to adjust your diet accordingly.

9. Exercise Regularly

Regular physical activity can improve digestion and overall health. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week. Activities such as walking, swimming, and yoga can help keep your digestive system active and reduce the risk of constipation.

10. Manage Stress

Stress can negatively impact digestion. Practice stress-reducing techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Ensuring adequate sleep and maintaining a balanced lifestyle also play essential roles in managing stress and promoting a healthy digestive system.

11. Use Digestive Enzymes if Needed

If you experience ongoing digestive discomfort, talk to your healthcare provider about using digestive enzymes. These supplements can help your body break down and absorb nutrients more effectively, reducing symptoms like bloating and gas.

12. Avoid Problematic Foods

Certain foods may cause ongoing digestive issues after gallbladder removal. Common culprits include spicy foods, caffeine, and highly processed items. Pay attention to your body’s reactions and avoid foods that trigger symptoms.

13. Consult a Dietitian

Consider consulting a registered dietitian who can help tailor a diet plan specific to your needs. A dietitian can provide personalized advice and strategies to ensure you’re meeting your nutritional requirements while managing digestive symptoms.

Conclusion

Adjusting to life after gallbladder removal involves making mindful changes to your diet and lifestyle. By eating smaller, low-fat meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining an active lifestyle, you can support your digestive system and promote overall well-being. Remember, each person’s experience is unique, so it’s important to listen to your body and seek professional advice when necessary. With the right adjustments, you can lead a healthy, comfortable life post-surgery.

[healthrules]

Weight Loss: How I Lost 10st In 1 Year |

Food Assistance and Food Systems Resources

Healthy weight isn’t about following a diet or program. Instead, it involves a lifestyle with healthy eating patterns, regular physical activity, and stress management.

People with gradual, steady weight loss (about 1 to 2 pounds per week) are more likely to keep the weight off than people who lose weight quickly.

Sleep, age, genetics, diseases, medications, and environments may also contribute to weight management. If you are concerned about your weight or have questions about your medications, talk with your health care provider.

Getting Started Losing weight takes a well-thought-out plan. Here’s how to get started.

Step 1: Make a commitment Whether you have a family history of heart disease, want to see your kids get married, or want to feel better in your clothes, write down why you want to lose weight. Writing it down can confirm your commitment. Post these reasons where they serve as a daily reminder of why you want to make this change.

Step 2: Take stock of where you are Write down everything you eat and drink for a few days in a food and beverage diary. [PDF-127KB]Being more aware of what you eat and drink will help you avoid mindless consumption. Tracking physical activity [PDF-51KB], sleep, and emotions can also help you understand current habits and stressors. This can also help identify areas where you can start making changes.

Next, examine your lifestyle. Identify things that might pose challenges to your weight loss efforts. For example, does your work or travel schedule make it hard to get enough physical activity? Do you find yourself eating sugary foods because that’s what you buy for your kids? Do your coworkers often bring high-calorie items, such as doughnuts, to the workplace? Think through things you can do to help overcome these challenges.

If you have a chronic condition or a disability, ask your health care provider for resources to support healthy weight. This may include referral to a registered dietitian and other clinical or community programs, federally approved medications or devices, or surgery. Ask for a follow-up appointment to monitor changes in your weight or any related health conditions.

Step 3: Set realistic goals Set short-term goals and reward your efforts along the way. Maybe your long-term goal is to lose 40 pounds and to control your high blood pressure. Short-term goals might be to drink water instead of sugary beverages, take a 15-minute evening walk, or have a vegetable with supper.

Focus on two or three goals at a time. Effective goals are —

Specific Realistic Forgiving (less than perfect) For example, “exercise more” is not specific. But “I will walk 15 minutes, 3 days a week for the first week,” is specific and realistic.

Setting unrealistic goals, such as losing 20 pounds in 2 weeks, can leave you feeling defeated and frustrated.

Being realistic also means expecting occasional setbacks. When setbacks happen, get back on track as quickly as possible. Also think about how to prevent setbacks in similar future situations.

Keep in mind everyone is different—what works for someone else might not be right for you. Try a variety of activities such as walking, swimming, tennis, or group exercise classes. See what you enjoy most and can fit into your life. These activities will be easier to stick with over the long term.

See more

[tinnifast]

Little intro for anyone who’s interested… I’m 5’4, was at 115 pounds at my lowest but had a emergency surgery last year that knocked me on my ass so I gained all the weight back. So here I am starting over 🤭

Been on the ED eating again for a few days and have been recording little diary entries on a chart. Gonna catch up on posting them on here so maybe you guys can motivate me or vice versa.

A bit about me; I’m a teacher, animal lover, chronically ill, don’t really exercise much bc of my health and a junkorexic. For some reason I’d rather just eat the 1 mini Twix bar than two oranges, and I get irrationally upset about the mass of food rather than the calories when I know it’s the calories that make you gain the fat. Some days I eat 2kcal and don’t care and other days I chew nothing but a stick of gum and lose my shit. Also, love medical shows if anyone wants to talk about stuff that isn’t eating disorders lol.

Nice to meet you guys. Additional note; the last blog I had on ED tumblr got terminated yeeears ago and I’m not up to date on which ED tags are the most popular rn. I’ve managed to find some of them but if you notice I’m missing any of the big ones pls tell me.

-tinni 💙

[notyetmyself]

12th September 2024 (Day 1) TW weight loss

I am determined this time to actually lose weight and keep it off. I have been overweight - actually obese - for too long and I am done with it.

I’m done with seatbelts that don’t clip on planes and uncomfortable theatre seats. I’m done with jeans that cut into me and hoodies which cover me up.

I understand that keeping to this regime of food is a little extreme but my weight is a lot extreme. I have a surgery coming up soon and every kilo I shed will decrease my risks. Please don’t take this as advice or anything like that. In the past, I’ve found keeping a food diary on here helpful and that is the only reason why I’m posting.

Starting weight: 155.8 kg

Starting waist measurement: 124 cm

Rules for myself

I will not net more than 1000 calories.

I will measure myself every morning.

I will be kind to myself when I cannot keep to the rules.

I will take my vitamins every morning and otherwise take care of myself.

I will not eat until after noon.

I will drink as much water as possible.

Daily Log

Exercise:

15 mins on Bike -400 calories

Food:

Serving of Bugles 132 calories

Cheese twist snack 82 calories

Spicy noodles with cheese 325 calories

Total for the day 139

[troidatoi]

Day 1 - 8/23/2023

Hi Tumblr!

I had one of you in high school but deleted it after college. I decided to make another just so I have a place to rant and vent about things that make me sad or angry or just things in general. I do journal but I'd like to use it for more positive things and manifestations or whatever. I turned on all the privacy settings so hopefully no one finds this. lmfao. I know all posts are public but I don't really know anyone in my life that has Tumblr anymore. I kind of just needed a place to fucking vent or rant. Today's Kobe's birthday so I'm trying not to be so angry today. (lol, sorry Kobe.) Okay so here goes. I just needed a way to let out my frustrations and so I was like why not Tumblr? I'd mainly be talking about my health and probably my frustrations with life in general.

Growing up, I've always been a big ass kid and you can tell and it showed in my pictures. Been bullied a lot for it from everybody including family. Had a kid threw a rock at me when I was little and said he hated fat people. My parents took me to a weight loss doctor where I cried my eyes out. I guess I always sought food out for comfort. I'm also an only child. I've always wanted to try and better my health but didn't know how, didn't really have the resources or money, and I was constantly surrounded by food. I kind of wish my parents had let me figure out how to do it on my own. I turned into this person with low self esteem, low confidence, hating what I looked like everyday, hanging out with my skinny friends back then was torture for me because I was constantly comparing myself to them (I know they loved me, wished I loved myself as much as they loved me). I hated that I fixated on the way I looked but hey that's what society has programmed us to do. It's easy to be like love yourself blah blah when you're not in the position of constant self hatred. I've tried calorie counting, diets, seeing a nutritionist (which helped a little only to later realized that it wasn't sustainable for me and I developed an eating disorder.) Although I'm pretty sure I've had an eating disorder ever since I was little and now I feel like shit every time I eat food or get scared to eat. I think the only person who I really saw results with and was sustainable was my personal trainer. (Shoutout Michael!) Hopefully, I can come back once I find a job again. (Can someone please fawking hire me already?)

So yeah going on a tangent, apologies! I started running when lockdown hit and I loved it but I also developed hammer toes and it hurt so much to walk and wear shoes. I went to a podiatrist and they were like get orthopedics and I was like okay but they were so expensive even with health insurance and I'm like okay well fuck this so I got surgery and I was so fucking miserable. lmao. I couldn't do anything and didn't leave my bad. It hurt so much to eat that I lost so much weight and I got so sad like crying for days. I realized I needed help if I didn't want k*ll myself so I called the hotline at midnight and it was nice actually. I've heard bad stories but thankfully the person I talked to listened to what I had to say and he brought up the Dodgers. lmao. And he was like maybe I'll see you at a Dodgers' game. I hit up a therapist the next day, a week later hit up a psychiatrist and was prescribed sertraline. (An antidepressant). The weight loss was crazy because I've never been that thin and I wasn't sure how to feel because it was deadass depression weight loss. I was happy with the weight loss but sad about how I lost it. I had so much loose skin that I also decided to do a tummy tuck, skin removal and thigh lift surgery and the recovery was such a pain in the ass but I felt so good and clothes actually fit. I should have probably waited till the next year because I took so much antibiotics that I found out I have leaky gut so I have to stay away from gluten, diary and processed sugar for the time being. (Hopefully cause my gawd I miss eating bread.) I have so much bloating, inflammation, joint pain, brain fog, acne breakouts, tingling sensations, pain on my sides and the list can go on. I went to my primary care doctors and a neurologist and they didn't really help much. Finally went to a holistic doctor and she figured out what was wrong with me and I know it's going to take awhile for everything to heal but I just want to stop feeling like this. (I also had surgery in 2013 to get an ovarian cyst removed and I didn't know I had it because everyone called me fat and they told me the cyst was making me bloated as shit.) I'm trying not to be resentful and look at the past but it's hard because there's so much trauma. Felt like my family didn't love me if I wasn't skinny.

My therapist said I should stop blaming myself but I can't help it. I know things are going to get better and I'm doing my part and putting in my best effort to heal and follow the treatment plan. I know I'm being impatient but for once in my life, I just want to be healthy again and enjoy food without being scared to eat it. Luckily, a healed gut is attainable so I need to keep fighting for it. I know it's going to be worth it in the end. I'm also paying so fucking much for this holistic doctor like I better have the strongest gut in the world and lose 100 pounds so that when I turn to the side no one can see me.

I am also in a lot of credit card debt and I know I'll pay it off once someone hires me but the job market is so fucking hard right now. Probably need to sell feet pics or find a sugar daddy to afford my lifestyle. (lmao jk, kind of) The way I applied to so many jobs the past week and a half is crazy. Just have to trust the Universe and believe and manifest.

Right now, I just really want to focus on healing my gut so I can eat yummy things again, getting a new full time job with higher pay and being surrounded by my loved ones. One of those things where I so badly want things to get better and it feels like no matter how hard I try, things seem to be moving slow. But they're moving, I guess? lmao.

I just want the best for me and it's going to happen because I deserve it and I said so and what I say goes. I hope you try your best to love yourself through this process and to know that things are going to be so amazing for you that you're going to wonder why you felt like this. The setback is stronger than the comeback. Remember that.

And one more time, Happy Birthday, Kobe. I miss and love you 24/8. <3

[theblasianwitch]

I thought this would be a great post to add to with some new information I've gathered pertaining to Chakras and the ways it shows blockages and ways to heal them.

When it comes to chakras, there have been various cultures who find them connected to health problems (physical and/or mental). As a disclaimer, I should note that these are not cure alls but being aware and doing what you can can lessen the effects of some, if not all, of the symptoms.

In each criteria of the chakras or seven wheels, I also found that more medicinal approaches are considered yin practices and more holistic approaches are considered yang practices. The essence of yin and yang is to find a balance of the two and acknowledge the coexistence of them at all moments. In terms of health it basically boils down to taking your medicines AND doing what's right with your body and mind (diet, exercise, shadow work, therapy, meditation, etc). Relying on one alone does not fully help your situation and relying too heavily on one over the other can cause other problems.

Physical Symptoms:

Root Chakra Blockage 純真輪堵塞

Pain in the lower back, lower body and feet

Sacral Chakra Blockage 真知輪堵塞

Painful menstrual cycles/irregular menstrual cycles

Infertility

Constipation

Solar Plexus Chakra Blockage 正道輪堵塞

Poor digestion

Ulcers

Asthma

Heart Chakra Blockage 仁爱輪堵塞

Heart disease

High blood pressure

Uncontrollable/fluctuating blood pressure

Throat Chakra Blockage 大同輪堵塞

Frequent sore throats

Thyroid problems

Hormonal imbalances

Third Eye Chakra Blockage 寬恕輪堵塞

Frequent headaches

Hormonal imbalances

Crown Chakra Blockage 自覺輪堵塞

Poor sleeping habits (insomnia -> narcolepsy)

Psychological Symptoms:

Root Chakra Blockage 純真輪堵塞

Low self esteem

High anxieties or irrational fears

Insecurity

Laziness

Sacral Chakra Blockage 真知輪堵塞

Easily prone to jealousy

Low self esteem

Depression

Solar Plexus Chakra Blockage 正道輪堵塞

Codependency

Easily prone to addiction

Lack of self control

Heart Chakra Blockage 仁爱輪堵塞

Fear of intimacy

Lack of empathy

Throat Chakra Blockage 大同輪堵塞

Heart and mind disconnect (inability to work with both logic and emotions at the same time or one has more control than the other)

Inability to express feelings

Third Eye Chakra Blockage 寬恕輪堵塞

Poor intuition

Crown Chakra Blockage 自覺輪堵塞

Body disconnect or frequent dissociation with your body and reality

Difficulty to meditate

Yin 阴 Yang 阳 Healing:

Root/純真:

Physical Yin: Painkillers, surgery if extreme

Physical Yang: stretches, yoga, walking, hip focused dances, lower body massages

Psychological Yin: medicines targeted for depression

Psychological Yang: therapy, positive self talk, giving yourself small steps to accomplish, acknowledging the good you do (no matter how small)

Sacral/真知:

Physical Yin: painkillers, laxatives, stool softeners, hormone treatments, hormonal birth control, IVF, supplements

Physical Yang: teas (raspberry leaf tea, hibiscus, nettle), leafy green foods, coffee, foods with lots of trans fats, folates and zinc, and exercise

Psychological Yin: meds associated with assisting depression

Psychological Yang: self care/love, treat yourself how you want to be treated, therapy, positive self talk, giving yourself small steps to accomplish, acknowledging the good you do (no matter how small)

Solar Plexus/正道:

Physical Yin: inhalers, various medicines, blockers/inhibitors if necessary

Physical Yang: keeping a food diary for sensitivities and avoidance, mint tea, garlic, ginger, honey, cabbage juice, relaxing, relaxation techniques, yoga, exercise

Psychological Yin: depending on the addiction there are certain medications and patches that assist with transitioning and withdrawal

Psychological Yang: therapy, rehabilitation

Heart/仁爱:

Physical Yin: beta blockers, calcium channel blockers, surgeries if extreme

Physical Yang: omega-3s, garlic, ginger, pomegranates, reduce stress, regular sleep schedule with enough sleep, exercise

Psychological Yin: N/A (yet)

Psychological Yang: therapy, socializing

Throat/大同:

Physical Yin: hormones, supplements, antibiotics

Physical Yang: honey water, teas, avoiding dairy, vitamin B and C rich sources

Psychological Yin: N/A (yet) [some would say alcohol as it makes some more social]

Psychological Yang: Journaling, therapy, meditation

Third Eye/寬恕:

Physical Yin: pain killers, hormone treatments, birth control, other medicines

Physical Yang: massages, steam inhalers, teas, proper eating and water intake

Psychological Yin: N/A (yet)

Psychological Yang: clair* practice, intuition training

Crown/自覺:

Physical Yin: melatonin and other sleep aid medicines, prescription medicines

Physical Yang: schedule control, wind down method at bedtime, sleep yoga, stress reduction, attempting to meditate

Psychological Yin: N/A (yet)

Psychological Yang: grounding techniques/practices, working through each Chakra up, attempted meditation

***As always, I am just sharing what I have learned. This is from a combination of online research as well as books read. Everything I share is in hopes to help not harm so please be safe and read carefully. Always follow medication instructions and dosages prescribed by your doctor and listen to your body. Thank you

✨️💛 The Blasian Witch💛✨️

Chakras 七輪 (Seven Wheels)

*Dan Tian 丹田 is a form of breathing and grounding used in Qi Gong 气功 exercise and some martial arts such as Tai Chi 太极. It recognizes the chakras but focuses mainly on three.

Root Chakra 純真輪 (Pure/Skillful, True/Genuine/Clear, Wheel)

Deals with truth; blocked by fear

Crystals: Red coral, mahogany, black obsidian, bloodstone, rourmaline

Oils: vetiver, nutmeg, cinnamon

Planets: earth, saturn, pluto

The Lower wheel of the Dan Tian

Sacral Chakra 真知輪 (True/Genuine/Clear, Be Aware/Knowledge, Wheel)

Deals with knowledge; blocked by guilt

Crystals: orange carmelian, garnet, spessartine, golden tiger's eye, stillbite

Oils: sandlewood, geranium, orange

Planets: moon, pluto

Solar Plexus Chakra 正道輪 (Correct/Rectify/Correct One’s Thinking, Road/Path/Way, Wheel)

The upright path; blocked by shame

Crystals: citrine, topaz, heliolite, fire opal, amber, golden tiger's eye

Oils: myrrh, jasmine, lemon

Planets: mercury, sun, mars

The middle wheel of the Dan Tian

Heart Chakra 仁爱輪 (Benevolence/Kindness/Humanity, Love/Cherish/Take Care Of, Wheel)

Deals with benevolent love; blocked by grief

Crystals: rose quartz, rhodonite, queen agate, amazonite, green opal

Oils: rose, bergamot, geranium

Planets: venus, earth

Throat Chakra 大同輪 (Great, Together/Alike/Sameness/Together, “Great Harmony/An Ideal Perfect Society”, Wheel)

Deals with great harmony; blocked by lies

Crystals: turquoise, blue lace agate, aquamarine, blue howlite, kyanite

Oils: lavender, chamomile, coriander

Planets: moon, venus

Third Eye Chakra 寬恕輪 (Wide/Broad/Relaxed/Comfortably, Consideration for Others/Forgive, Wheel)

Expressive compassion; blocked by illusion

Crystals: sodalite, lapis lazuli, azurite, sapphire, dumartierite

Oils: vanilla, juniper, patchouli

Planets: neptune, jupiter, moon

The upper wheel of Dan Tian

Crown Chakra 自覺輪 (Self/Oneness/One’s Own, Sense/Feel/Awake/Become Aware, Wheel)

Deals with self awakening; blocked by ego attachment

Crystals: clear quartz, moonstone, amethyst quartz, labradorite, amethyst

Oils: neroli, jasmine, ylang ylang

Planets: uranus, mercury

Chakra Journaling Prompts

Chakra Affirmations

Chakra Yoga

[anotherfauxredhead]

The Post-Bisalp Diaries, Part One

It's been one week and a day since my tubes went off to a better place, and I gotta say: my healing process has gone...better than I thought. I'm not sure why, but here's what I've done since the surgery:

*Day Of (Right After Surgery)*

Let me preface this by saying I am a Keto eater (been so for four-plus years) and I can fast for hours in between dinner and breakfast. I last consumed solid food around 10:49PM the night before. I broke my fast shortly after 2PM (5 hours after I had the surgery; I got stuck at the hospital for a little while) and I. WANTED. FOOD! This wasn't bland-ass foods I broke my fast to. I had scrambled eggs, French toast, ham, cereal, some chocolate, and a Quest protein drink. (All sugar-free/low-carb, by the way.) I'm sure I consumed almost a day's worth of calories for my late AF breakfast, but I didn't care. I was happy to have food again. Throat was sore from the tube they stuck in there during surgery, so I also loaded up on low-carb ice cream (Rebel is my bestie for ice cream cravings).

Along with my lunch (also eaten hella late), I also took the first dose of Ibuprofen I was prescribed.

And I felt like weak trash. I don't know why--maybe its high dosage fucked with me (I also seldom take regular-dose ibuprofen), or the anesthesia wearing off, but I felt like I was gonna crash. My appetite sure did; my dinner was pre-made chicken soup and a slice of toasted keto bread. And I barely stomached it all. I'd also forgotten that the doctors also gave me some antibiotics in my IV, and it's best to counter antibiotics with probiotics a few hours after antibiotic consumption so your stomach doesn't get upset. I took a high dose probiotic pill with my dinner, and I think it seemed to help. I ended up sleeping like a rock that night.

*Day After Surgery*

Felt a little better than last night. No more ibuprofen for me! I went back to one of my favorite natural pain relievers: Terry Naturally's Curamin. YMMV, but they've worked for me when I get shit like headaches, PMS cramps, etc. My appetite still felt suppressed but I managed to have some good fats (such as nuts and avocados) with my meals that was mostly light foods (salad, cereal, soup, etc.) I kept on with my probiotic use, which may have helped in reducing gas and bloat.

As someone who likes being active and does a lot of walking, I knew I had to limit myself upon taking that first post-surgery walk. I couldn't even take the stairwell down, and I already have an aversion to using my apartment's elevator as I don't like potentially sharing it with others. (The pandemic ruined elevator rides with others for me, and there's some nasty-ass people that live in my building. Yes, I still mask up indoors.) Anyways, it was refreshing to go outside. The weather was great for walking, but all I could get was around 25 minutes before my body told me to get back home. I usually can walk for longer periods than that. Also, my neighborhood is a great place to walk/jog around, but avoiding inclines was another odd thing I had to temporarily avoid. Equally weird was seeing my pedometer clock in 4100 steps; I'm someone who can easily do 10K+ steps. But my tube-free self needed to heal.

*Days Two-Six Post-Surgery*

My appetite was slowly starting to return. I've been eating mostly clean/whole foods up until Day Five when I started craving keto processed foods again. (Do you know that there's such a thing as keto pop tarts?) And I walked a little more every day. Finally hit 10K steps on Day Six. My incisions continued to heal, and I'd be so damned if I didn't live in a state that banned CBD products.

Day Six was not just the First Day of Summer, but also the day I returned to driving. Oh, so that's what it feels like to drive again!

What happened here, by the way, was true. I know there are idiot drivers on the road, but, seriously, it felt like there were more of them when I returned to driving. What fucking gives?!

*One Week Later*

No major problems whatsoever. Back to eating the foods I usually eat. I felt a little more worn out after my walk yesterday as I ended up taking the stairwell down (the lone elevator in my building was tied up when I wanted to leave--just my luck) and walking to my favorite nail salon that was only a 10 minute walk from my home. I could've driven there, but since I live in a metro area, all public parking costs something. I chose to save my coins for a manicure--something I wasn't able to have in a while since I had to keep my nails bare for the surgery.

It's now Day 8, and I'm looking forward to celebrating some Pride festivities in the city this weekend. No ouchies or aches at the moment, and I hope it stays that way.

So there you have it: my first week without the tubes. This diary will be an ongoing project, given that I have time to write it all up. (I got other projects to work on besides this Tumblr.) Once again, I have to say I'm a little amazed that I've been healing quicker than usual. Still don't know if it had to do with my diet or the CBD gummies or sheer good luck (yeah, sure). I expected to be bed-ridden the first few days, but it didn't happen. I sat a lot more at my desk, but I wasn't sluggish to where I wanted to relax in bed almost the whole day. I'm kind of bloated at the moment (booooooo) but I hear it's common to have that after a Bisalp. The shoulder pain some women experienced post-Bisalp? Hasn't happened to me. And that bed rest pillow some suggested to invest in for post-surgery recovery has yet to be used. (I only paid $5 for it at a thrift store, so no big loss.) But I'll eventually relax on it, smiling to myself, knowing that me choosing to be sterilized was the right decision, and probably one of the best decisions my childfree self has ever made. Sometimes I think I'm a dumbass, but not this time.

[mistahgrundy]

Please help Rowan

https://www.gofundme.com/f/hp3x4-help-me-not-lose-my-home?member=17624197&sharetype=teams&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer

I know their go fund me looks fully funded but it’s not, that’s the goal that was set back in december and they haven’t updated it. They still need help.

Rowan was kicked from their house in their teens (I’m sorry I’m using they/them because I’m not entirely sure on their pronouns I think it might be he/him but I don’t want to assume) for being queer. They spent some time being homeless and then finally got out of that and went back to school to become a mortician when they got diagnosed with cancer

Since 2020 I’ve been posting in a PMF thread called Passing Time In Chemotherapy: A Diary, which has been equal parts me talking about fighting Stage Four Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and being given two months to live, and equal parts screaming about how horrible the American Healthcare System is and trying to make a case for universal healthcare. Briefly I went into remission and then my cancer returned. I also have Stage 1 breast cancer. These last two weeks I have been in the hospital with a kidney disease likely brought on by my chemotherapy treatments, and a lung disease which I need tests to rule out that it’s lung cancer. The problem is I need $4500 to continue receiving care because I am am several hundred thousands dollars in debt due to my chemotherapy. Each chemo treatment cost me $50k after insurance, which no sane person has, so the debt has built up to the point where I am being held hostage for micropayments in the thousands of dollars range in order to receive life saving treatments. I received mod approval to post a GoFundMe I set up in order to pay just for December healthcare bills. I will either lose treatment or lose my home, and I was recently homeless over a year a few years ago and would not like to repeat the experience. My wife is permanently disabled after her battle with Ovarian Cancer (and needs another $800 down payment foe a surgery but that’s ANOTHER can of worms). Basically, without goon help, I am fucked. I have zero plans for Christmas or any holidays this season because I’m too busy fighting to keep my home and my health. My GFM is nearly halfway funded as it is, and on the off chance that it gets overfunded the excess will go towards my wife’s surgery. Both my GFM page and my PMF thread show I am very transparent with where the money goes and what it’s spent on, so no worries there. You can find my GoFundMe here! I intent to post an update to it this evening to keep everyone up to date with health stuff. If you would rather donate something other than money, which I totally get, I have an Amazon wishlist here which is mostly household things we need and food for the cats. I will happily post pictures of them in the thread. They are very sweet baby who cry if a stranger comes to the apartment and doesn’t pick them up. I’ll try to stay on top of removing items from the wishlist as they get bought. I’m not very good with signing off posts, but if anyone has any questions about Lymphona or chemo or the american healthcare system (or just want to see cat photos!) please feel free to ask and I’ll answer as best I can! Thank you in advance for your generosity and kindness. Bless. Edit 12/10: It was suggested that I throw my Venmo in the OP for those who would rather donate that way! Venmo: @moringottos Paypal (please ignore my deadname it’s a nightmare to change): paypal.me/necromancermoons

This is their update today, May 25 2022:

The minimum payments for my medical bills in arrears (mostly chemo) comes out of my bank account automatically to prevent them from suing me over it. I’ve already used my one (1) free grace period of “please give me a few more days before you take my money” according to the lady on the phone, so I’m left with $0.11 in my bank account with several bills, including rent, looming on the horizon. The electric company has already made it very clear they will not hesitate to cut off my power if I even act like I’m going to be late. What do you even do when faced with this level of “fuck you entirely”? I keep telling myself that people are inherently good, but between this and the news and the man at the insurance company writing me a polite email that says “if you have another cancer, try dying this time”, I’m starting to have a hard time with it.

May 18, 2022 7:32 PM

Due to some concerning test results my oncologist is now pushing for testing for multiple myeloma. MM killed my birth dad. I think I may have sorta blacked out during half of what she said. I asked her if it was usual to have this sort of insane cancerous comorbidity, she said it’s not impossible. The imagining center got back to me FINALLY. They said even though my insurance is up in the air and they usually require payment at time of service, my doctors have been hounding them enough that they will let me have a payment plan for x-rays and scans costs. I’ve had enough biopsies that the MM tests don’t scare me like they would have two years ago. Immediately after my lung biopsy I threw up a ton of blackish blood so I feel inoculated to the trauma. Anyways at this point it feels silly, like my body is throwing this massive temper tantrum that it doesn’t want to be here anymore and it’s like “understandable, but consider: we can’t let capitalism win”. Also god won’t let me die because then I’ll be his problem.

the threads: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3987338&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 I believe this one isn’t paywalled

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3916924 but this one might be, this is their diary of day to days of discovering the cancer (they went to the hospital for covid originally). warning: this thread might be very upsetting and hard to read if you have hospital or cancer trauma. or even without

[fromthemouthofkings]

Welcome

This is a queer, multi-fandom, writeblr, and personal blog. I try to keep it a mostly-positive space, but I do sometimes post about discourse, because I think fandom and queer issues are interesting to read and talk about, and I love finding hills to die on. I do not reblog callout posts, and I will block and unfollow if I see them. Occasionally I reblog artistic nudity or write smut. You have been warned.

My Fic:

Most of my fic is posted at FromTheMouthofKings on ao3, but some smaller fragments are posted here. Links:

The Murderbot Diaries

Redacted Parameters

Tolkien

Finrod in the dungeon

Parks and Ring Creation

Jeeves

Of Pine Trees and Earthworms

On Touching Sunlight

Jeeves and the Fox Hunt

Jeeves and the Thorny Hedge

Our Flag Means Death

Domesticating Izzy Hands

art thief au

talk it through

as a crew

la vie en rose

Trans Harry Potter

Harry Potter, Except Everyone Is Trans and JK Rowling Can Die By My Blade

a fluffy oneshot

trans harry potter tag

Supernatural

the one where sam’s visions start at thirteen

the one where dean tries to give himself top surgery with a bottle of whiskey and a hunting knife

Sherlock

the Sherlock rewrite that lives rent-free in my head

Leverage OT3

good down to the bones

some tender h/c in a house that may or may not be haunted

Good Omens

turned-human au (oneshot)

My Original Work:

Once Again, the Future

Poetry

most of my poetry is posted on my poetry sideblog @kings-speaks

my poetry tag

Tags I Use:

I'm not a very consistent tagger, but I try to hit major triggers with a tw [thing]. Feel free to let me know if you need something tagged, and I'll do my best. Other tags:

my writing

my fic

my art for when I get the motivation to draw

my poetry for cross-posted poems from my other blog

recipes, which should cover most of the food you might see on this blog

real life for upsetting real-world events

us politics

nudity for nsft and such, since I'm still not sure if the nsfw tag is banned??

Be kind to each other and take care of yourselves!

[ponds-puddle]

Threats ~{Shinsou}~ (6/??)

words: 1404

Hey guys! Sorry this took so long. Some of you may have seen that post that I made about my dog, and I'm thankful to say that she was able to get her surgery and she (as of yesterday) is fully recovered and happy. Thank you guys so much for waiting! Here's part 6!

-

“If you do not put that down right now I will throw this at you,” you threatened Shinsou from across the island in your kitchen. He was on the opposite side holding your journal. He laughed maniacally, waving the little book around. In all honesty he had no intention to read it. He picked it up while cleaning off the table and loved the way you dove at him in an attempt to get it away from him. After a ten minute chase around the island, you settled on opposite sides with your choice of weapons. His was your book and yours… Well yours was a flower vase.

“You’re so violent!” he laughed loudly, acting as if he wasn’t the least bit intimidated. Though after seeing the sheer determination and force of your dive to get it away from him, he was actually slightly scared you’d throw it.

“And you’re annoying! Put it down!”

“Or what?” he teased.

“This vase is made out of granite, wanna test me?”

Shinsou thought for a moment, looking between you and the vase. After a second he slowly placed the book on the counter and threw his hands up in surrender.

“God,” he laughed as you snatched the book like a crazed goblin, “You’re kinda terrifying.”

“Yeah and don’t forget it,” you threatened as you walked to your room to hide the book.

When you returned to the kitchen, Shinsou was delicately chopping ingredients for the dinner the two of you had bought. It had become a sort of tradition now. Every week you would go out to get groceries and Shinsou would accompany you. Afterwards you would hole up in your house, cooking and binging shows. The two of you would play a round of rock/paper/scissors to see who would have the honors of picking the show. This has been going on for three weeks now and Shinsou never got to pick a show. Though you suspect that he’s losing on purpose. He likes The Vampire Diaries, he just won’t admit it.

“What’s so secret about that book?” he asked you without looking up.

You made a face at him, one that screamed “did you get dropped as a baby?”

“I went through all of that and you think that I’m gonna come out here and tell you exactly what I was trying to keep you from reading?”

Shinsou stopped chopping and looked up at you, “One, attitude. Two, you’re right.”

“Exa-”

“So I’ll just guess.”

“No,” you deadpanned.

“Your secret family recipes?”

Silence.

“A detailed list of everyone you’ve ever killed?”

“Woah that escalated, you weirdo.”

“Ah but I got an answer from that one!”

“Point taken, no more replies.”

You walked briskly to the sink to wash your hands, ignoring the multiple guesses Shinsou threw your way. All ranging from normal to “seriously what is wrong with you?”.

“Is it a detailed account of all the feelings you have for me?”

“Oh of course,” you snorted, “It starts with unadulterated anger.”

“OO! Big word!” Shinsou jokingly praised, poking his lip out with his puppy dog eyes, “They grow up so fast.”

“Don’t make me get the vase.”

Shinsou raised his hands in defeat, chuckling softly to himself.

“You’re such a toddler,” you laughed at him, going to stand beside him to help prep the ingredients.

“Well you’re the weird one for willingly hanging out with a toddler.”

“Excuse me,” you scoffed with offense, “Toddlers are cool as heck. At holidays I like to hang with them over the adults. I mean come on. It's either relationship drama and taxes or two little humans beating the shit out of each other and pretending to be dinosaurs. The choice is obvious, no?”

Shinsou bit back a smile and simply nodded, trying to mask his humor with a “sophisticated” tone, “Oh of course. No argument here.”

You smiled up at the tall boy, a playful smile on your lips. His eyes flickered down to yours, catching your attention completely. Cliche stars and cupid songs shot off in your head, but you were more concerned with the slight disarray of his hair. There was a single strand out of place, most likely from the fight earlier. You tried to hide your grimace at the cliche atmosphere that was surrounding you right now. But despite it, you bounced onto your tip-toes and reached for the hair, lightly moving it to it’s spot.

You tried to ignore the way you hear Shinou inhale when your fingertips brushed through your hair. You tried to ignore the burning sensation you felt from his lavender irises as they inspected every small feature of your face, painfully enjoying the fleeting moment of closeness you had created. But try as you might, you let your eyes flicker to his. You felt swirling in your stomach, like happy bubbles. It weirded you out to be honest.

“Don’t look at me like that when I’m holding a knife, Y/N,” Shinsou chuckled nervously, breaking eye contact instantly. You dropped back down off your toes, turning to your ingredients with a hushed tone, “Sorry you had a stray hair.”

During the show you were sitting criss-cross on the couch with Shinsou below you. He was slowly working on his bowl of food while you had finished yours forever ago. You always mock him about being a slow eater and he always replies the same.

“Maybe I’m trying to stay a little longer.”

That made no sense to you, he always stays even after eating. It’s normally until you pass out and he heads home. He’s a lot better at the whole insomnia thing than you are.

“Stefan annoys me,” Shinsou groaned pathetically, placing his bowl on the ground beside him. Nakoma eagerly ran towards it but was scooped up by the purple haired boy before she could get a taste. She wiggled angrily for a moment, but eventually settled into his arms.

“Why?” you snorted, used to his complaining over this show by now.

“He’s portrayed as some hero, right?”

“Well-”

“Well nothing,” he huffed sassily, “He’s not a hero. He’s a bad guy. And he’s over here fucking with Elena’s life which, in my opinion, makes him an even worse guy.”

“Well I don’t think Elena would even let him get away at this point. I mean she loves him, right? She doesn’t care about what he’s done.”

Shinsou turned and looked at you with a blank face, “Look at me in my eyes and tell me you’d date a mass murderer.”

You looked at Shinsou and smiled, “I’m not a Stefan girl, but if a mass murderer who looked like Damon Salvatore showed up, it would be all over. I’d go Harley Quinn in this bitch, no questions.”

“No question?”

“None.”

“You’re a mess, you know that?”

“Oh but you like that about me right?”

“I never said I liked you.”

You gasped dramatically, holding your hands over your heart, “That’s it, I’m broken.”

“You just admitted you’d date a mass murderer, I think you were broken before you met me.”

“Shinsou!” you yelled, “That’s it, you lost Nakoma privileges. Give her to me now.”

“No,” he scoffed, cuddling her sweetly, “She likes me better anyways.”

“Sir, I’m gonna ask you to leave if you don’t watch your mouth.”

Shinsou raised his eyebrows comically at you, a small smirk on his lips.

“Say it again,” he said in the most dramatic tone, eliciting a smile on your lips. You tried to bite it down but the way he just stared at you with the most teasing smile had you wanting to burst into a fit of laughter.

“You’re demented.”

“You like that about me.”

“Who said I liked anything about you?”

“Your notebook.”

“You didn’t even read it!”

“Did I?”

The two of you stared each other down. For a moment you thought he had actually read it, but at the same time there was no way he could’ve, right?

“You didn’t.”

“Did I?”

“Did you?”

Shinsou shrugged, “I didn’t, but you definitely just gave away the fact you’ve written about me in it.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“Shut up and finish your food, jackass,” you finally huffed, crossing your arms angrily while turning to the show. Shinsou smiled at your blushing figure for a moment longer before turning back around to the show. He didn’t stop grinning until he left that night.

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