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william-bill-martin · 6 months ago

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Super Prototype

Some wholesome YukiKasu wedding fluff, but also a blatant parody of the Top Gear episode where Captain Slow take the Veyron to 407 kmph, featuring three 765PRO idols and Touma as Stan's friends. A repost of the original crack work I wrote and posted on AO3, inspired by T-Square's Knight's Song (basically the Gran Turismo anthem Moon Over The Castle but it's a jazz fusion track; from the 2012 album "Niji no Uta ~T-SQUARE plays T & THE SQUARE Special~"). Read the original piece on AO3 for more details.

Wordcount: 3096 (this may be subjected to change later on)

Summary: Yukina Minato never thought that day would came, yet here she is, about to tie the knot with her beloved Kasumi Toyama; except, not really. It's actually just Stan Marsh achieving a form of Buddhist enlightenment at 400 kmph in his lightweight Ultima Evolution (equipped with a twin-turbo Ford Coyote V8 and inspired by the Group C prototype racers of old a la the Porsche 956 and 962, Jaguar XJR-9, Sauber-Mercedes C9), just like James May in the Bugatti Veyron on that one Top Gear episode.

Warning: lots of (DSG) fart jokes (kinda)

Kasumi and Yukina’s point-of-view:

Yukina Minato stood as she watched her brown-haired bride walk down the aisle with her father, a bouquet of roses clutched in her hands. There was a soft smile that she could faintly see through the veil covering her face.

It never came to her mind that she would be standing here, finally tying the knot with the one that she loved.

Of course, it was none other than her Star Kitty, Kasumi Toyama.

The reason why she called her that was because of her hair, which has the cute buns that she said were supposed to make her hair looked like a star. But of course, the first thing Yukina thought when she saw Kasumi’s hair was ‘Kitty’; she was a kind-hearted cat lover from within, after all.

But still, she didn’t think that this day would came. Now, she’s grateful for that to happen. And for Kasumi, she was happy to be her wife, to be Ms. Minato.

Stan’s point-of-view:

Stan Marsh sat inside the cockpit of his blue Ultima Evolution. The 1st-gen twin-turbocharged 5 liter Ford Coyote V8 (from Ford's Modular line of engines) in the engine bay growl and rumbled as it idle away. His left hand was on the steering wheel, gripping it anxiously as the two Precision Gen 2 7675 turbochargers spooled up, while his right hand was on the 39cm long sequential-style DCT Shifter in silver and black.

Today, he’s at the Kennedy Space Center’s Shuttle Landing Facility (a nearly 4.6 km long runway) with his custom-build twin-turbo Ultima, which weigh 962 kg with that twin-turbo Gen 1 Ford Coyote V8 (with flex fuel capability, being able to run gasoline and ethanol fuels) and an upgraded PDK dual-clutch gearbox taken from a 981-gen Porsche Cayman and has 1200 hp (or 1641 hp running either E85 or E100 fuel) at the rear wheels, as he took it for several top speed test runs to see if it can break the 400 kmph mark.

Stan had heard of rumors that if anyone drives a Bugatti Veyron or something similar with a 4-digit horsepower rating to its top speed, they would achieve a form of Buddhist enlightenment when reaching said speed. He thought those rumors was a bit far-fetched, but he still decided to pour his time into his Ultima build to see if it is real.

His four best friends, Haruka Amagase (née Amami), Chihaya Kisaragi, Touma Amagase, and Yayoi Kisaragi (née Takatsuki) has come over to see his do these top speed runs. The guys of the Johnny Bohmer Proving Grounds program gave him the signal to start the first of several runs, which is a quarter-mile (400m) test for the Ultima. Stan bring his right hand to the steering wheel as he held the brake pedal and press the gas to about 4000 rpm, half of the 8000 rpm redline.

The launch is set.

The lights are on.

It’s time to test.

Stan let off the brakes and fully depressed the gas at the instant the green light was on, and off he goes.

Merged Flow of POV (Normal fonts for Kasumi and Yukina, italics for Stan; also, trigger warning: farts incoming):

“You’re so gorgeous, Kasumi…” Yukina muttered, stunned by the beauty of her bride as she lifted Kasumi’s veil.

“You’re very dashing too, Yukina~” Kasumi playfully replied back to the silver-haired Yukina as she chuckled softly. [“Second gear, pretty stable.” Stan said as he heard the engine’s RPM dropped when he pulled the DCT Shifter down to shift up to second gear, the violent and distinctive DSG fart echoed through the cockpit.] (Note: yes, Porsche's PDK gearbox is capable of making those farts)

“Third gear, about 190.” Stan could hear the PDK gearbox letting out a brutal fart again as he pulled down on the DCT Shifter and shifted up to third gear.

“We are here to celebrate the marriage of Yukina Minato and Kasumi Toyama.” the priest said; “If anyone wants to object, speak now or hold your peace forever.” Kasumi and Yukina looked out to their friends and family. [“Forth gear, 255 or so, still stable.” Stan could feel an interruption in the fuel supply as he pulled the DCT Shifter down to shift into fourth gear and another loud DSG fart ripped through the cockpit.]

The Toyama-Minato couple glanced at the row in front of them, where Honoka Kousaka and her wife Tsubasa Kira is sitting. Muse and Poppin’Party has previously collaborated on multiple times, and they just did another one a month ago. Not only that, seeing how their relationship grew is what gave Kasumi and Yukina the motivation to make theirs work well.

“400 m: 8.95” is what Stan saw on his Racebox meter stuck onto the windshield above the dashboard as he checked for the time after putting his Ultima to a stop. The top speed achieved in that run logged by the Racebox was about 268 kmph, or something around that range.

“Alright, if no one wants to object, then we shall continue.” the priest said out loud. Kasumi and Yukina just simply smiled at each other.

Stan was holding the brake pedal as he applied pressure on the gas, the white needle on his black 120mm Stack ST430-010 Action Replay tachometer hover around the 4000 rpm mark. The next run is a half-mile (800m) one.

As the lights turned green, Stan let off the brakes and full-throttled his blue Ultima as it launched off the line, the white needle of the 120mm Stack tachometer instantly jumped off the 4000 rpm mark.

“Kasumi, remember way back when I first met you? I didn’t take you seriously at first, because the reason why you formed Poppin’Party was kind of lazy. But then, I saw you perform with your band at CiRCLE, and oh my god, you are like candy to my eyes and ears. You were passionate yet having fun at the same time, not giving a shit to anything else~” Yukina smiled as she chuckled softly. Kasumi can felt a bit of her tears flowing down her face as she smiled too. [“Third gear, 207.” Stan said as he pulled the DCT Shifter down and shifted up to third gear, the DSG gearbox letting out another loud fart, which he can hear it happen.]

Yukina continued; “Honestly, there’s so much about you that I can’t simply say without stretching this out, but to put it short, you’re so amazing to me. The way you manage to make me smile no matter what, the way you’d always support me in everything I do, the way you lift me up even when I was at my lowest. I’m grateful for you to have come into my life, and I vow to stay by your side, and fully devote myself to you. I love you, Kasumi Toyama.” she could see her Star Kitty bride tearing up slightly in joy as she finished her vow. Yukina simply smiled with her as she wiped off some of her tears. [“Fifth gear, about 308. No offense to Tiff Needell.” Stan quipped as he pulled the DCT Shifter down and shifted up to fifth, making a joke about the former co-presenter of Fifth Gear (and also Top Gear) as the PDK gearbox let out another violently loud fart.]

“319 km/h” is the number Stan saw on his Racebox meter as he passed the half-mile mark. He drove the Ultima back to the starting line for the one-mile (1.6 km) run.

“Yukina, you’re the most determined and dedicated girl I ever saw in my life, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things that I can describe you with. You’re beautiful, talented, charming; anything about you, I know it better than anyone else.” Kasumi joyfully started her vow as she saw the silver-haired bride getting teary-eyed in joy. [“Second gear, about 108.” Stan said as he pulled the DCT Shifter down and shifted up to second, a loud DSG fart violently ripped through the cockpit, and he could hear it in action.]

“When you came to my door, I didn’t know why you came or what happened to you, so I asked about that, and I know why, and I helped you recover that day. When you confessed your feelings to me, I couldn’t help but hugged you because I was in love with you as much as you were in love with me.” Kasumi smiled through that part as Yukina silently teared up in joy. [“Fourth gear, 256.” Stan uttered as he pulled down on the DCT Shifter and shifted up to fourth, that familiar sound of DSG farting echoed through the cockpit again.]

“I couldn’t fully describe how much you meant to me, Yukina, but one thing I can say is that I’m glad to meet you, even if our first encounter was a mixed bag. I first love you as my senpai, then as your girlfriend, and now, as your wife. I’ll be with you through thick and thin, in sickness and health, and everything life throws at the two of us, cause I know we’ll make it through, and I know you are the same too. Yukina Minato, I love you too.” Kasumi finished her vow just in time to see Yukina tearing up in joy. She helped the silver-haired bride wipe off some of her tears. [“Sixth gear, 356.” Stan said as he pulled the DCT Shifter down and shifted up to sixth, the PDK gearbox let out that familiar fart as he does so.]

“367 km/h” is what Stan saw on his Racebox meter as he hit the 1.6 km mark. He returned back to the start line for the full 4.34 km (2.7 miles) run, the same setup as when Hennessey set their record with the Lotus-based twin-turbo Venom GT.

“Stan, you can do it!” the familiar voice of his best friend Haruka ring through the intercom in his helmet into his ears.

“Yeah, Stan, 400 isn’t far away! Though I don’t know if you will achieve something like Captain Slow himself.” her husband and his best friend Touma encouraged him through the intercom in the helmet as he drove back, while also making a joke about James May’s nickname.

“Thanks, Haruka and Touma, I can do it~” Stan chuckled back to the Amami-Amagase couple through the intercom.

“With this ring, I, Yukina Minato, take you, Kasumi Toyama, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” Yukina said as she slipped the ring onto Kasumi’s ring finger. [“You can do it, Stan! Let’s see how you handle 400 kmph.” the blue-haired Chihaya encouraged him through the intercom in the helmet as he held the gas and slam on the brakes; the white needle on the black 120mm Stack Action Replay tachometer hover between the 4000 and 4500 rpm mark, as Stan has increased the twin-turbo Coyote V8's redline to 8500 rpm, higher than the normal 8000 rpm setup.]

“Yeah, Chihaya. I'm doubtful about something weird happening today, though, unless that big spoiler at the back broke free, and that thing is integrated into the bodywork.” Stan shrugged and quipped.

“I believe in you, Stan!” the enthusiasm of her wife Yayoi rang through the intercom and into Stan’s ears.

“Thanks, Yayoi~” Stan joyfully replied back.

“With this ring, I, Kasumi Toyama, take you, Yukina Minato, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” Kasumi also said as she slipped the ring she held onto Yukina’s ring finger.

“Now, Yukina Minato, will you take Kasumi Toyama as your lawfully wedded wife till death do both of you part?” the priest asked.

“I do.” Yukina answered back with a smile.

“And Kasumi Toyama, will you take Yukina Minato as your lawfully wedded wife till death do both of you part?” he repeated the question.

“I do.” Kasumi answered back with the brightest smile Yukina has ever seen since they started dating.

“Alright.” Stan said. Then the lights went green and he let the brakes off and fully slammed on the gas, the Ultima launched off the line like a rocket.

“Now I pronounce you two wife and wife! Kasumi and Yukina, you two can kiss each other now.” the priest said happily.

Kasumi and Yukina pulled each other into an embrace as they seal their lips, passionately kissing each other as the guests cheered and clapped louder than Ford’s high-revving 5.2 liter Voodoo V8 in the Mustang Shelby GT350, with Honoka and Tsubasa being the loudest ones. [“200.” Stan said as the speedometer on the steering wheel and the Racebox meter read out that speed, the exotic symphony of the twin-turbo Ford Coyote V8 with equal-length headers exhaust echoed through the cockpit and across the Shuttle Landing Facility.]

“I now present to you, Ms. and Ms. Minato!” the priest said out loud to the guests. [“250.” Stan held the gas as the boost gauge maxed out.]

“300.” Stan can feel something in him is changing.

The Minato couple walked down the aisle and towards the door as they took their first steps as a now-married lesbian couple.

“325.” something within Stan is changing, the thing that Haruka, Touma, Chihaya, and Yayoi could see in the live on-board recording.

“Congrats Kasumi-chan!” the dark orange-haired Honoka cheered for the Toyama-Minato couple.

“350. Still stable.” Haruka, Touma, Chihaya, and Yayoi heard Stan describing the stability of his blue Ultima.

“Kasumi-san and Yukina-san, I wish you two have a wonderful marriage!” Tsubasa cheered for them as well.

“375. Getting close.” Stan uttered as he pass more than a mile.

Yukina and Kasumi stepped out the cathedral and stood outside, holding hands and smiling to each other, proud to be wives of each other.

“390, and there’s something strange.” Stan said, feeling a little weird as he came close to the coveted top speed.

“I love you, Yukina Minato.”

“400, that mark. Now I’m kinda like James May.” Stan quipped as he reached the magical barrier.

“I love you too, Kasumi Minato.”

“405. Now shit is getting nuts.”

Yukina Minato and Kasumi Minato (née Toyama) smiled and kissed each other again, happy that they are now married. They’re so in love, in fact, that they didn’t noticed a weird, high-pitch, almost exotic sound of a twin-turbo V8.

“410, and why the fucking hell do I see Kasumi Toyama and Yukina Minato on the left side? I must be getting some kind of enlightenment like James May, though.” Stan uttered as he pushed the twin-turbo Coyote V8 in his Ultima to the limit and saw the the Toyama-Minato lesbian couple in front of him on the left side, the white needle on the black 120mm Stack tachometer passing the 8000 rpm mark, the normal redline setting, while the Stack boost gauge and the boost meter on the steering wheel are maxed out and can't read out anything else beyond that number.

Yukina and Kasumi still kiss each other, still indulge in the eternal love they have for each other, the love that they promised to held till death do them part. Kasumi Toyama now has become Kasumi Mina-

Suddenly, a blue blur passed them by at a gap of 125 cm and at speeds of 414 kmph, the loud, high-pitch exotic-like V8 melody roared loudly as it passed the newlywedded Toyama-Minato couple like a ground missile, glued to the tarmac by the downforce generated by the big almost-squared spoiler integrated into the rear bodywork. It was the blue Group C-inspired Ultima Evolution with the twin-turbo 1st-gen Ford Coyote V8, piloted by Stanley Marsh. The Racebox meter, the OEM speedometer, and the measuring tools of the Johnny Bohmer Proving Grounds program all proved that Stan had exceeded the 400 kmph mark.

Stan has now reached the limit in about 1.5 miles or 2.4 km, but his twin-turbo Ultima was begging for him to push it harder. After 3 km or 1.86 miles, he let off the gas and slammed on the brakes, making them glow red hot as he pushed up the DCT Shifter to downshift; “Woah, Stan, are you alright?” Haruka asked, concerned for him.

“I'm alright, Haruka, but honestly, it's kinda weird at 400, almost like I'm in the cockpit of the Peugeot V6-powered Welter-Meunier P88 at 407 or the Bugatti Veyron at the same speed, and I also just saw Kasumi Toyama and Yukina Minato in wedding gowns on the left side when I reach 410.” Stan answered back through the intercom as he drove his blue Ultima back to the starting line, describing what he saw as he was on the edge of his seat when he reached 400 kmph and above in vivid details, while also alluding to the name of a certain Peugeot-backed Group C prototype powered by the twin-turbocharged version of the PRV V6 (the same PRV engine that was used for the Ultima Mk1 and the later Mk2 and Mk3).

“Well, Stan, I guess you just achieve some kind of Buddist enlightenment, just like James May himself in that one Top Gear episode when he drove the Veyron to 407, though I don’t know why do you see Kasumi and Yukina of Poppin’Party and Roselia fame on the left side at 410.” Touma quipped.

“Yeah, Touma, perhaps it’s true that some form of enlightenment can be achieve when one push themselves to the limit in a very fast machine, and as for Kasumi and Yukina, I think I was kinda being Captain Slow for a moment after hitting 400.” Stan replied back.

“Hey, don’t worry about that, Stan, now you know how it feels to reach your limit.” Chihaya cheered him on.

“Thanks for that, Chihaya.” Stan replied back to the blue-haired singer.

“Wanna have something for lunch? It's noon right now, after all.” asked her wife Yayoi.

“Yes, Yayoi, but you four go first, okay? I still have to run the full length stretch.” Stan answered through the intercom; "I'll wait."

"We'll wait for you too, Stan~" Haruka chuckled softly.

Stan now knew what it feels to be on the edge, to push himself to the limit.