#Porco is not letting anyone talk to his partner crazy

[senseiofbullshit]

no because Porco would pull up with the stankest, meanest mug to the function. The person giving you problems at work would think he is so mean 😭

Because he IS mean. He's an asshole. He's an asshole to you in the teasing, playful, loving way, but still an asshole. People don't know what he's like behind closed doors or when you get to know him. He's neutral when people meet him for the first time. Not polite. Not rude. Just neutral until he can develop an opinion about them. He's sweet to you though and that's all that matters to him. So when the people you vent about meet him, they cannot believe that this is the same person. He refuses to be fake to the people that give you shit on the daily. If he's dropping you off or picking you up, he is absolutely mean mugging them. He doesn't have to say anything. They can tell by his face that he doesn't like them. When Linda meets him at the Christmas social, she's smiling and extending her hand as she's meeting the man that you gush about. Porco does not even uncross his arms. He lets her hand hang there while he sizes her. You'd told him in the car to at least pretend to be nice to Linda and he agreed in the car, but now that Linda is standing in front of him, everything you've ever told him about her is at the forefront of his mind.

"Hey," he says with blatant disgust in his tone.

He won't say anything else while her hand hangs in the air. Porco is looking her in the eyes, actively disregarding Linda's hand and it gets awkward really fast. While you and Linda may be uncomfortable, Porco is not. He is standing firm beside you, silently asserting that he is not playing with her. He won't break eye contact and she'll begin to feel increasingly more uncomfortable the longer she stands there. Is this the same man that you speak so sweetly about at work? Is this the same man in the picture on your desk kissing your cheek with a smile? Is this the same man that had that big bouquet of your favorite flowers delivered to the office on Valentine's Day with a note that you refused to read out loud because it was so sweet (and filthy, but she doesn't need to know that). This man that is mean mugging tf out of her? This is the same man? CAN'T BE! Linda would walk away if she knows what's good for her.

As soon as she walks away, you have to admonish him.

"I said I'd try, not that I would." That is not what he said in the car.

"That's the lady giving you problems? Well shit, I can see why. Look at her then look at you. I'd be mad too."

"I bet she can't fight. It wouldn't be a fair fight. You'd whoop her ass."

He stays at your side and remains pretty neutral with every one else. He keeps a hand on your lower back while he's beside you and will shake your coworkers hands. After a few drinks, he will loosen up and your coworkers (not the ones you vent about) will get a few smiles out of him. This makes Linda deeply upset because now she knows that your man isn't socially awkward, he just doesn't like her. It's blow to her ego that Porco didn't intend, but he doesn't care.

Porco to Linda be like: