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jenniez-tv · 6 years ago

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HIPEC surgery (warning - photos of my abdomen after surgery will be shown)

The night before surgery I was on clear liquids only.. that was hard when all my family members kept talking about food and dessert.. the stomach growl was real. Haha. I spent the night playing mahjong with my family up until I had to pack and get ready to leave the house. An all nighter. Weeee. I really didn’t care to sleep since I don’t usually sleep til the morning anyways and I would be sleeping a lot in the hospital so it was whatever.

My aunt, mom, and I leave to go to the hospital around 4am (super early). We arrive, I’m sent to preop to get ready and I am super nervous.. I realized I forgot to take my anti anxiety Med before leaving the house.. UGH. I ask the nurse if she can ask the doc to give me one while I’m waiting and she said the Anesthesologist can give me something when they are ready to wheel me to the OR. Like wtf? How is that helpful? Why would I need anxiety meds right before I go to sleep for the freaking surgery?!? I need it for the 2hrs of waiting!!! She didn’t even bother to ask! Ughhhh.. like why? She is supposed to be an advocate for me.. Was not happy with her.. then she told me to relax.. HAHA. Glad I won’t see her again. Rude.

Me waiting at preop

Anywho.. next thing I know I’m awake in PACU. I’m groggy and in pain.. and of course felt myself up all over my abdomen to make sure I didn’t get a ileostomy bag. Thank god I did not! I did have a jp drain though. The Dr said he removed the organs he planned on-the uterus, ovaries, omentum, gallbladder along with 3 small things he found in my abdomen. I have no idea where and how big they were. They don’t think they are tumors but the pathology results have not come back yet.. feels like forever waiting for results.. either way, im glad it was found and removed. (Update- the results came back benign! Negative for cancer!)

I’m moved to the ICU and get hooked up to so much equipment. I stayed in the ICU for 2.5days. I had 2 iv’s, an arterial line, Foley catheter, NG tube, JP drain and a wound vac. My throat hurt so damn bad.. every time I swallowed it hurt.. that NG tube fked up my throat. I was also a not allowed eat or drink anything for 2 days until they took it out. I could not wait! Post op day 1 was a killer for me. Just trying to sit up made me cry. They wanted me to walk down the hall while pushing the wheelchair. I literally looked like a old person who has the hump back and couldnt stand straight while walking. The poor nurses were pretty much holding my weight lol. Even helping me scoot up on the bed hurt. My family said my entire body and face was super swollen . I just pictured the scene in Willy wonka and the chocolate factory where that girl turned into a huge blueberry. 🤭 I think the most annoying part of ICU was when they kept giving me blood pressure medication and IV fluids to increase my blood pressure. I normally have low BP like 80-90/50-60 told everyone. Apparently the Med surg unit (Unit I would be at until I get discharged) doesn’t like BP’S under 90. I mean seriously, I can’t be the only one with normal low BP’s.. With all the fluids during and after surgery.. I was 15lbs heavier. Ahh! I know it’s all water weight but damn that’s a lot of water weight. They also gave me potassium and it was so uncomfortable on my veins. Anyone can tell you it hurts..even when it’s diluted. It fked up my veins where on The last night in the ICU I had to get one of my IV’s replaced because anything that went through it (even saline) hurt . It was hurting even if nothing was running.

Anyways, I get cleared and transfer up to the medsurg unit. I was actually feeling pretty good considering just having surgery. I get my NG tube removed and am allowed teeny bits of water/ice. FINALLY. My throat can now get better! By the time I transferred I was making laps around the unit. I also get my wound vac removed. It was so painful because I developed a lot of blisters on the edges of the tape from the wound vac. It looked pretty gross. (Picture below). When they removed it, all the blisters broke and they even rubbed over it pulling the skin off. Then, one of my ivs stopped working so it had to be taken out. Luckily this unit only requires one IV not two like the ICU so I didn’t need it replaced.

Picture of the blisters

Picture of my incision with the wound vac and the jp drain.

Picture of my incision and blisters after wound vac removed

The next morning is where everything went downhill. I got super nauseous and eventually threw up 900cc of bile. My temp was around 101 degrees, and eventually got up to 103. I also had other signs/symptoms that showed that I got septic to something. I had to be transferred back to the ICU. Because they were not 100% sure where the infection came from (they had 2 guesses) I got 2 antibiotics that would treat both areas. My white blood cell count also dropped dramatically to 0.98 and my anc 0.74. This means that I was very susceptible to getting more infections. People had to wear a mask when they come to my room and I had to wear one when I left the room. The good news is my fever went away pretty quickly and I started feeling better. My wbc kept going up and down... I’m hoping it keeps trending up because I cannot leave the hospital until my wbc goes up and becomes stable. EEP.

While I was back in the ICU I had to get a second iv placed.. so now I have had 4 iv’s so far not including the arterial line). I’m connected to all the machines again and it takes forever for me to get to the bathroom since they have to disconnect all the monitors and attach it to a portable one so they made me use a bedside commode instead. Bedside commode?!?! The thought is just gross. I’m peeing and pooping in a room with just a curtain blocking the view. What if someone walked in to talk to me in the middle of my session? It was so nerve wrecking. I’ve cleaned up patients bedside commodes before and it’s fine but now can say that I really understand why patients apologized all the time.

After another 2 days in the icu and being septic.. And another iv needing to be replaced bc it infiltrated.. (apparently my veins are mad weak from all the meds and chemo) (now iv #5) I am finally better to go back to the Med surg unit. I’m transferred back and it feels so nice to use abnormal bathroom again. I’m still only allowed clear fluid and honestly.. even that was hard to do. I had to drink a minimum of 800cc a day and it was a struggle. So many days of not eating and drinking screwed me up. Plus I kept having this underlying nausea that just wouldn’t go away. It turned out I had a small ileus as well- A complication that can happen from abdominal surgery.

Everyday I got blood drawn twice a day.. and lovenox which is a blood thinner to prevent blood clots. Prior to lovenox, they were giving me heparin (which is 3 times a day..). My body was full of bruises all over.

Picture of some of the bruises on my arms. I had a bunch on my thighs too..

Anywho, I’m finally allowed to eat.. and man that was more of a struggle than drinking.. I would take one or two bites and be done.. it didn’t help that the hospital food was completely disgusting.. even simple foods you think they can’t mess up on.. was just gross. I was asked by family what I felt like eating so they can bring it.. but honestly I had no appetite at all. Completely different from when I was on steroids and eating nonstop.. lol. But I tried.. hard.. to eat and drink enough. They wanted to start me on tpn which is the total nutrition through a central line.. and I was not about to have it. I gave a hard hell no.

I could barely sleep.. it just felt like my stomach was being pulled or stretched apart when I moved.. was woken up non stop for meds/ vitals.. when I was able to doze off.. my days pretty much consisted of eating, taking a couple laps around the unit, napping, and repeat. I was still getting some iv fluids to help keep me hydrated.. and of course.. another iv infiltrates.. and another iv had to get started... I had a total of 6iv’s and an arterial line.. it was utterly ridiculous.. I had no more places for ivs! And I freaking hate ivs and getting poked.. but that’s all I got during this stay.. so many I lost count.. sigh..

On and off during my stay but especially the last couple of days, I had severe lower right abdomenal pain that was sharp and jabby. I prevented me from moving at all.. it was downright horrible and worse than my incision.. no one knew what it was from but I guessed maybe the drain that was inside.. I got a ct scan done and it didn’t show anything there but the drain so I got it removed.. the pain immediately disappeared!! It was such a relief!! No pain meds helped at all.. not even the slightest.. so having that relief felt so good. The drain coming out though.. felt like so much pressure and it felt like the spot that hurt was getting pulled on. I swear that drain was stuck there or something.. it was a good amount in my stomach.. I didn’t realize how much of the drain just sat in there.. kinda gross. And yes, I watched the whole thing... hahah.

Another complication I have is that my left upper thigh is numb.. and has been numb.. it never got and still hasn’t gotten any better.. I thought it was the duramorph I got during surgery but after a week it seemed unlikely.. the dr says that it’s most likely because the retractor they used to hold my abdomen opened was pressed on my thigh nerve since I’m smaller than the average patient and dmged it from it being compressed for 8hrs.. he says it will take weeks to months for my leg to return to normal.. hopefully.. but that there is a chance it won’t.. god I hope it comes back. It feels so weird and annoying to have the top of my thigh permanently numb ...

Finally my wbc is stable and continuing to trend upward (although still low) and I’m allowed to go home.. I could not wait to see my babies (my dogs), my family, and just sleep in my own bed!!

Sorry, I know this post was all over the place... i wrote parts of it at different times.. which is why some seems present and some past tense.. and I’m honestly not in the mood to go and fix it all. I will post again how my recovery is going at home soon.

Thank you all for your love and support. ❤️

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thran-duils · 8 years ago

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Dreaming

Title: Dreaming Pairing: Reader/Wade Wilson Summary: Challenge entry for @imamotherfuckingstar-lord . Prompt was Deadpool x Reader with “Dreaming” by Blondie Words: 2,171 Warnings: Language

Masterpost

You hummed to yourself as you stood over your sink, washing your teacup. It was early in the morning and you didn’t expect Wade for another hour – possibly more. He was always one to sleep in on the weekends even if he didn’t sleep well. He had always enjoyed lounging around.

It was tradition he would visit you on Sunday’s, quoting it as a “day of fucking rest and who better to throw shit around with than his favorite gal”.

Still his favorite girl. It always surprised you.

<> <> <>

Even though you only ordered water, you still paid Weasel as if you were buying a drink. He was a business man, even if he was a friend, and lounging around in his bar without buying anything wouldn’t do. Slipping your cigarette into your mouth, you inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, your eyes running over the newspaper from earlier that day. You always searched the counter and tables, looking for left over news magazines and newspapers from that day. Sure, there were TVs in the dive but you preferred written news rather than hearing repetitive and over-exaggerated stories.

Plus, it was extremely hard to hear a news station over the ruckus that usually was going around you at the pub. Even on Sunday nights, the nights you most frequented, it was still quite packed.

Someone slipped into the booth on the other side of the table and you groaned internally, not in the mood to socialize.

“Those things are going to kill you,” a surprisingly cheerful voice piped up.

Raising your eyes, looking annoyed, you were met with none other than Wade fucking Wilson, dressed to the nines in his red and black spandex suit. There was some blood still splattered on his suit. He must have been out working.

Maybe you were up for socializing. You would be lying if you didn’t admit you always found him intriguing.

“And hanging around here won’t possibly do that?” you quipped, taking another inhale.

“Touche. Speaking of which, why are you in here?”

“I’m always in here.”

“Doesn’t answer my question.”

You put the cigarette out and took a drink of your water. “It’s entertaining. And close to my apartment.”

“Are you inviting me home with you?”

Jesus, you knew he had a mouth but you didn’t think he would jump in this quickly.

“Or was that just… an actual reason?”

Smirking, you replied, “It was an actual reason.”

Snapping his fingers, Wade muttered, “Damnit.”

Closing the newspaper, you locked eyes with him. “Are you having anything to drink?”

Wade perked up and leaned in across the table. “So, I didn’t completely blow it,” he observed and you couldn’t help but smirk broader. He gestured at his mask, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I can tell you aren’t blind. And I’m sure you can guess how hard it is to drink through this.”

“Can’t you push it up.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to see what’s underneath it.”

“I can handle it. I’ve seen it before.”

Wade’s eyes narrowed suspiciously and he remarked, “I don’t know if you’re being a tease or if you’re telling the truth…”

Leaning back in the booth, you told him simply, “Your bet with Jared.”

Groaning, he leaned back in the booth as well, dropping his head back dramatically on the seat. “You were here for that? How have I NOT ruined it on that alone? You must be hard to gross out and piss off!” He sat up straight again and crowed, “I love it!”

Laughing, you said, “You can put the drinks away. And you’re pretty talented to not have to take the mask off completely. Isn’t that tight around your face though?”

“I deal with a lot of tight things on a regular basis. This,” he gestured down at his outfit. “Not to mention a lot of tight spaces.”

“Charming.”

“I try.”

Tapping the table, Wade held up a finger. “Before we dive further into drinks, we need to set the mood. This music sucks.”

Before you could protest, he was away from the table and making his way towards the jukebox across the bar.

To be honest, you were getting a little hungry. And it was hard to keep yelling over the noise in here. If you wanted to get to know him properly, you wanted to be somewhere quieter. Not your apartment but somewhere where you two could at least hear each other.

Grabbing your bag, you got out of the booth as well and followed him.

Not surprising knowing his temperament, he was arguing with another regular bar patron, Terry. What about, you didn’t know exactly.

Wade was in his face, although Terry had a couple inches on him. “You better shut that asshole sucking mouth, Terry, or I’m gonna have to beat the shit out of you in front of the lady sitting at the table with me. And I am trying to make a good impression, so please, one, save yourself the embarrassment. And two, don’t push my fucking buttons!”

Terry scowled before walking away from the jukebox and Wade let out a happy sigh, closing the rest of the distance to the music.

You touched his arm and he whipped his head to look at you. “Christ, you are quiet!” he exclaimed.

“It’s loud in here.”

“Still. Like a little mouse in a church.”

You smirked as he looked back at the jukebox. You stated, “How about instead of hanging around these shitbirds, we go get something to eat? Or is that not something you do?”

Wade’s eyebrows rose and he let out a hearty, over exaggerated laugh. “Me? Not eat? That’s a laugh.”

“There’s a diner on 45th.”

“Does it have chimichangas?”

“No.”

He groaned to himself, looking to be fighting with himself. His fingers clenched and unclenched before he raised a finger towards you, his eyes narrowing. “I’m only agreeing to go to this place – this horrid place you speak of that doesn’t have chimichangas – because you’re hot.”

Snorting, you responded, “Thanks for being so blunt.”

“I’m a gentlemen. I don’t lead women – or men, for that matter – on. Polite, that’s what you should always be!” Wade informed you before he called out to Weasel, “See you later, fuckface!”

Polite. Right…

<> <> <>

Wade rubbed his hands together, standing in front of the jukebox at the diner. He had immediately let out a gasp of happiness, seeing it. He obviously really wanted to listen to some music. The diner – unlike the dive – was pretty empty, the only other patrons being a couple of people around your age.

You opened your menu, scanning it, although you already knew what you wanted. Fish and chips. It was your staple when you came here.

Tapping your shoulder, Wade cleared his throat. You looked up at him and he gestured for you to move over. Furrowing your brow a bit, you scooted over and he sat down next to you, snatching the menu from the other side of the table.

He opened the menu and flipped through it wordlessly.

Zoning in on the music he had chosen, you smiled a bit. “Really? Blondie?”

“How dare you!” Wade scolded you. “Talking about Debbie with that tone! She is one of the most bangable women that has ever lived and she deserves your respect!”

Deciding to tread some uncharted waters, openly being sexual that is, you leaned in and whispered, “Would it make you feel better if I told you I might have masturbated to her once?”

Wade’s eyes widened, seeming at loss for words for a second, which was completely unlike him. You must have surprised him and you felt proud of yourself. Just as quickly as he had paused, he jumped out of the booth, grasping your hand. “Be my wife. I won’t take no for an answer.” You couldn’t hold in the laugh that came instantly. “A laugh is not a good sign…”

You covered your mouth with the back of your hand, looking down at him still grasping your hand, “Being proposed to on a first date is something I can cross off my bucket list.”

He was at attention in a second, jumping off the ground. “I’m sorry, is this a date?” You slapped his arm playfully and he shrugged as he slid back into the booth, “Didn’t think I would be landing someone as easy as this!”

Cocking an eyebrow, you questioned with a teasing tone, “Who says you are landing anything?”

“You don’t dance with just anyone you just met to a teeny bopper pop song in a diner like a rom com!”

Giving him a confused look, you pointed out, “We haven’t done that.”

Wade sighed loudly, “Shit! I’m imaging things again.”

“You are positively one of the weirdest people I have ever had the fortune of meeting.”

“Right back at you.”

Smiling at him, you locked eyes. After a few seconds, you realized how long you had been staring and you cleared your throat, thankful the waiter was coming up to take your orders.

Snatching up the menu again, Wade muttered, “Fuck, I didn’t even see what bullshit was on this.”

Yes, you’d made a good choice going out with him tonight.

<> <> <>

You wrung your hands, the memories coursing through you, staring out the window.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Whipping around startled, you faced Wade. He was leaning against the wall, surprisingly dressed in his suit rather than a hoodie and jeans as he usual was. Or sweatpants. That was another one of his favorites.

You couldn’t help but look disappointed. “Are you not staying?”

Wade cocked his head and questioned, “What makes you think that?”

Gesturing at him, you stated, “Your suit…”

Looking down quickly at himself, he let out a short laugh, “Oh, right that. No, uh, it’s actually stupid and I am gonna be embarrassed about it. But, who gives a shit? If I can’t be embarrassed around you, then I should just go find Hulk to beat me to death. Anyway, I found this – “ he whipped out a tape from somewhere on his person and you recognized it immediately. He had made you the tape and brought it on your third date. It had all the songs he had requested at the diner, including your Blondie song. “And was feeling nostalgic and… yeah.”

Your heart clenched a little bit. How was it that you two always seemed so connected?

Smiling softly, you told him, “I was just thinking about that…”

Giving a triumph fist pump, he exclaimed, “Great. I’m not the only sap here! Shit, I thought I was gonna be alone.” His eyes narrowed and he added, “But, one of the biggest reasons I brought this was because you never did dance with me for real. And I feel like it’s long over due.”

“I’m not in my twenties anymore, Wade. It’s not gonna be graceful.”

“Forties are the new twenties.” You shot him a look and he told you, “I masturbated to the thought of you last night. Just like I did twenty years ago… and also at least once a week.”

Teasing, you asked, “Instead of just waiting until today?”

“I had a lot of pent up frustration. And instead of shooting the fuck out of someone else, I decided to blow a load. Furthermore, I was trying to be romantic and keep my dick in my pants for once. But, if you would rather me swing it around and try to hit my target, then by all means, take off that nice dress – or keep it on, that’s hot too –”

You had closed the space between the two of you and slapped your hand over his mouth. There was a twinkle in your eyes as you suggested, “How about both?”

“I’m dream, dream, dreaming again,” Wade sang out of tune behind your hand. You let out a laugh, removing your hand, and he moved off towards your radio that had a CD player, tape player, and record player on it. “Dreaming is free!”

Watching him put it in, you smiled. The melody poured out of the speakers and Wade turned it up, shaking his hips to the music as he did so. Turning around, he sashayed towards you, holding out his hand for you to take. You took it gingerly and he pulled you close, moving quickly.

When I met you in the restaurant, You could tell I was no debutante You asked me what’s my pleasure

A bark of a laugh left your throat as he ground himself into you with that line. He wiggled his eyebrows at you.

A movie or a measure? I’ll have a cup of tea and tell you of all my dreaming Dreaming is free

“Dreaming is free!” Wade sang along, still very off key, with the line.

He was an idiot. But he was your idiot. And no matter how old you got – despite if you felt self conscious – he was always going to love you.

#deadpool x reader #wade wilson x reader #ivonne's song challenge #marvel fic #my shit

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