#Pls stop trying to pretend a character has no fault or one is the reason they all did this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

koushisatori · 3 years ago

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if you can't believe in others, at least believe in us

kyoutani x gn!reader

genre: as ordered: a bit of angst w a touch of comfort

warnings: one (1) big jealous idiot, miscommunication

word count: 5.4k

note: this is smth an anon asked me to do (but like...nearly a year ago, I'm not sure if anon is still there or if they remember and my dumbass deleted the ask so I just beta-ed through whatever I had but I know they called me out on enjoying jealous characters so here we go) I'm sorry, mysterious anon, I'm stupid </3 Anyway, that's that. I don't remember if reader was supposed to be female or not so I made it gn!reader (but if I forgot to change something, pls tell me so I can fix any errors c: It's also my first attempt I apologize in advance)

In the beginning, you weren't sure why your boyfriend is ignoring you

You can't remember doing something that would annoy him, nor do you remember an instant of anger in his eyes that would give you a hint about his reasoning to stay away from you

He explained early on that sometimes he just needs a day of distance because Kentarou could feel the anger simmering right under the surface, enough that something small could tick him off already, and he would hate if you were on the receiving end of this unexplained fury

Both of you also made sure to promise each other to clearly communicate, the relationship between the two of you would not last long if you're not properly telling each other what might be bothering or hurting...just in general cross a boundary

Communication probably was one of the most important aspects of your relationship

cue to the actual situation: your boyfriend avoiding you

So, Monday evening you think maybe it's this overwhelming sensation of unexplained anger and that something at morning practice ticked him off completely

But then Tuesday comes and goes, and your boyfriend had avoided you all day long, did not even bother to read your messages,

on Wednesday, you try to talk to him, but all he does is glaring at you with a look that leaves you speechless and kind of heartbroken,

Thursday is the day you're replaying everything you did on Monday, trying to find something that he could have misunderstood, yet no matter how hard you think about it…your brain won't come up with a reason that explained why Kentarou was so upset with you!

So you decide to make him talk to you on Friday

Enough is enough, right? For gods' sake, he is your boyfriend! You miss him and his strong arms that give hugs so warm that you melt right into them

You don't get a second alone with him until school ends

you practically sprint out of the school building over to the gym, knowing that he had a free hour, which means that he is probably the first person there - your only chance

There he is, sitting with his back to you, aggressively chewing on a bun filled with chicken - his usual that reminded him of his favorite dish - glaring holes into the ground

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you carefully aks: ''Kentaro…Ken…?'', slowly stretching out your hand, wanting to rest it on his shoulder to maybe help to soothe him a bit

he flinches instead and his heated, agitated gaze meets your eyes, making you recoil in return

''…will you talk to me, I miss you…'' you say softly, realizing how it hurt being ignored by him

''Ah, suddenly you miss me…'' he spits, narrowing his eyes ''…didn't fucking seem like it the last time I saw you…''

''Kentaro, baby, I have no idea what you mean,'' you plead, keeping your voice low to hide the desperation lacing it, confusion written all over your features

all Kyoutani does is growl, hopping down from where he's sitting while shouldering his gym bag

''...shouldn't have been so flirty with Shittykawa like that then-'' he grumbles - ''Ken, I didn't-'' you insist, but he continues ''twirling your hair, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, fuck you Y/N, if you want him, then feel free to take a fucking leave" Kyoutani cusses, not even listening to you

You shake your head, ''Kentaro, no, you totally misunderstood the situation,'' you follow up, panic seeping into your voice now that you knew what he referred to, ''I love yo-''

''Tsk'', he moves to leave

you try to take his hand but, instead of turning around, Kyoutani just rips it away from you, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket

from behind you, you hear Yahaba and Oikawa approaching (talking about Volleyball and Captains duties)

once they guessed what must have happened, they offered you their help (they both swear that Kyoutani will never ever find a ''cute s/o as you are, y/n-chan, I'm worried for my little angry pomeranian kohai'' )

Usually, you would try to talk to him, but after enduring a week of radio silence and now this treatment, you were tired of upholding something that seemed like a lost cause

you just wave both setters off and leave the school grounds, a frown plastered onto your lips and tears swimming in your eyes

Kentarou had not listened to you, did not even really look at you, and the few seconds he did, his eyes were filled with rage instead of the warmth he had usually reserved for you (and only for you)

If your boyfriend thinks avoiding you for a week and blaming you for something ridiculous without hearing you out is how you handle a relationship…maybe you would have to consider not pursuing it any longer

Which is easier said than done

The whole night you wait for a message, anything, and then all Saturday morning

you still had hope left

You get one from Yahaba, who tells you that Oikawa tried to clear up the situation as well after the reason for your fight dawned on him (Kyoutanis piss poor mood and behavior towards him a strong indicator) but Kentaro, again, just ran off

The future team captain even called you after your lackluster answer, listening to you getting the frustration and sadness out of your system

It didn't matter, right? Your boyfriend decided to unofficially call it quits by implying that your feelings for him were not genuine instead of using his mouth to talk to you and disregarding everyone involved

as if he wanted to ignore the truth as a convenient excuse to get out of your relationship

that's the conclusion your brain came up with

You softly sniffle in the privacy of your room, clutching a pillow to your chest (which has seen more tears in the last two days than in the past three years), deciding that it would be a good idea to go into the city to treat yourself

knowing that your mother has a hair-dresser appointment somewhen today, you go and announce that you would join her to finally buy the latest season of your favorite series

once there, you additionally get microwave popcorn, chocolate, and ice cream, as well as a pretty shirt you saw on a mannequin while window shopping

you feel a lot better after spending some money and ignoring the lingering sadness of your presumable break up with Kyoutani (who you love ok, it is not that easy)

In between your stops, you meet Iwaizumi and Oikawa munching on fatty burgers (celebrating your cheat days like a holiday and indulging in whatever your heart desires, is what makes it easier to stick with healthier habits the rest of the time was the questionable explanation coming from the brown-haired setter, pointing at you with a soggy potato fry)

after a moment, the setters eyes turn sad, a frown replacing the smile on his lips

he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from going just yet, apologizing for being the cause of your fight and for being unable to talk some sense into him

(you assure him that it is not his fault, knowing that your friend will probably brood over it otherwise, which wouldn't be fair)

Iwaizumi adds that Kyoutani will come around and that his cooldown time is just longer than those of other people (and if not, he will give him one of his famous volleyballs to the head and use his status as only truly respected senpai to talk some sense into him) but you again decline their suggestions

after saying goodbye (and seeing Iwaizumi give his best friend an assuring gentle pat on his shoulder, the secret softy in the usual harsh ace shining through)

If Kentaro was willing...able to throw away your relationship this easily, he can't possibly really love you, and you'd accept this even if it's hard and painful

Now remembered of what you had attempted to forget about, you feel your eyes sting with unshed tears (you thought there was no possibility of you having more tears to spill, yet the impossible seemed to be the case) you look down at your phone to text your mom and frown

Kentaro 🥰: we need to talk. Kentaro 🥰: meet me there [location]

For a second, you hesitate, biting your lower lip harshly…you really want to go and talk to him but…

The tears still sting in your eyes and blurring your view reminded you of what you had gone through the whole time, and that it was his turn to finally come to you

break up or makeup, the ball was in his court now

so while walking to where your mother would be waiting for you, you begin to type

You: No.

You: I waited for you all week, even though you ignored me, and now you expect me to run the moment you choose to stop being a childish idiot?

You: if you decide to speak to me then comqjdkn

Kentarou wouldn't say he feels particularly bad. Not at all! If someone was to ask him, he would probably answer fucking peachy, what the fuck are you asking for or growl angrily. No one would bat an eye and further question him, nor guess that maybe he wasn't as great as he pretended because he missed his gorgeous better half, but…it was his fault, wasn't it?

Of course, he originally thought he had a valid reason to be upset. And if he had just spoken to you about it, everything would be solved now. Instead of being a decent boyfriend, though, his pride overtook his thinking processes once he realized that his behavior wasn't even the slightest bit justified. Not that he knew this when he saw you speaking with Shittykawa right before school. All he could see was his gorgeous s/o shyly fiddling with her fingers, conversing with a leaned forward, very involved Oikawa Tooru. He would have fetched you away from the brown-haired setter. He had no qualms about showing his possessiveness. God, Kentarou wouldn't have hesitated to growl at the tall, brown-haired boy if not for the question he heard coming from the Captain.

''Y/N-chan, how is it that you, an adorable, charming individuum, is with a brute like Mad Dog-chan? I really-'' Well, that's where he decided to leave you with the setter. He didn't need to hear your answer. Didn't want to witness an excuse or maybe the truth. If both of you were so fucking smitten with each other to flirt this blatantly, why don't you just go and cheer for him, hold his hand, and kiss his cheek goodbye? It was his choice to distance himself.

Kyoutani couldn't help the feeling of betrayal and hurt washing over him. Maybe you just used him as a stepping stone to get closer with Oikawa, and Kyoutani has been too blind to see it. He never doubted you or your relationship before, but it's not a secret how eruptive Kyoutani could be. It has always been beyond his imagination how someone so cute and sweet like you could love a person like him. Your friends thought so. The teachers. The whole school! Everyone questioned your poor judgment. And when you came running up to him, you're cheery voice calling out for him, everyone present looked at you like you grew a second head. It's the reason why seeing you with Trashykawa ticked him off so bad. It catered to his biggest insecurities and fears. He knew that all those skeptics would be delighted to see you, everyone's darling, with the schools' star setter. They all would agree that the pretty, handsome young man is a better fit than the always hostile-looking troublemaker.

While Kyoutani didn't take Oikawa seriously in most cases, he undoubtedly was one of the most devoted people Kentarou had ever met. If Oikawa wanted to get a new serve right, he wouldn't stop trying and repeating it until his legs gave in, and Iwaizumi dragged him out of the gym. When he wanted to find more advanced players to practice with, so he could, in return, give this new knowledge to his team, there was no way he would not manage to make it happen. Even if his ideas, wishes, and plans cost him blood, sweat, and tears (like getting Kyoutani to actually train), Oikawa never backed down. Kentarou had heard that Oikawa's last girlfriend dumped him because of his passion for Volleyball. Yet Kyoutani couldn't help but think that, in you, the ambitious setter would have found someone that would be able to handle it. You usually came over to watch the team when you knew that Kyoutani was there to play. You sat on the stands with your homework in your lap and a Seijoh-coloured pencil wiggling between your fingers, not bothered by the noises coming from the court. You play with your earlobe while you frown at whatever problem you came across. You patiently wait for practice to finish. Kentarou was sure that you'd be someone Oikawa would actually try for. You weren't one of his squealing fangirls, hanging from his arm on every opportunity, but his friend. You didn't pester him to take selfies with you while pushing cute bentos into his hands. When you bring food to practice, then it's for the whole team to share. If he wanted you, Oikawa would probably have to win you over and make sure that you'd stay. Courting and all that jazz. In all seriousness, Shittykawa would be a fucking idiot if not.

The dyed-blond wing spiker had been so sure that he was rightfully mad that he didn't stop to think twice before he reacted this coldly towards you. But, and this made it even worse, Kentarou knew that he was wrong the moment you asked what happened after an entire week of enduring his silent treatment. The second he heard your shaky voice and saw the tears welling up in your eyes, his brain rebooted, and suddenly he wasn't so sure of his own reasoning. You two were together for about half a year. Kyoutani - by now - was confident in his ability to identify most of your expressions. All he could decipher in your eyes was pain, paired with a need to understand, but…if he was in the wrong…it would mean that he had hurt you the whole week, which in conclusion implied that Kentarou had been the world's shittiest boyfriend. Fuck, he thought, I don't deserve y/n.

His situation didn't get any better the moment Oikawa entered the gym. The person Kyoutani thought he had a real reason to despise now tried to mend the rift between the two of you.

''Mad Dog-chan, I think you misunderstood something there. Well, no, you decided to not listen-'' The taller male says, hands gesturing wildly. While his voice still had that annoyingly cheery tone, it had something commanding hidden underneath. And oh, how Kentarou hated when someone demanded something of him, even if it was for his own good. ''Don't want to hear it.'' the blond mutters, already aggravated. The brown-haired setter resolutely puts himself in the way again. ''Oh, but you have to! That morning, Y/N-chan literally declared her love for yo-'' - ''I don't fucking care.'' Kentarou barks, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

After another fruitless attempt to get properly into the gym, he growls and turns to leave. Already on his way to grab his stuff and take a leave, he hears Oikawa yelling. ''You answered and justified why I asked Y/N-chan to begin with!" And then louder, even though he could make out Iwaizumi trying to wrestle his childhood friend back into the gym, "APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER GROVEL FOR Y/N'S FORGIVENESS! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHOW YOU'RE PUTTING ON, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

This happened on Friday evening, and the guilt was gnawing away on him ever since. On his way home, Kyoutani had automatically taken the detour to your house. Kentarou enjoyed bringing you home (and more often than not, you pulled him inside with you, making him cuddle you!). It makes him feel like a good boyfriend, and he knew that you arrived there safely. He would never tell anybody and deny it if you ever decided to share this, but Kentarou relished in the feeling of your hand holding his all the way while going on about your day. He admired that you'd pet every cat and every dog you meet on the trip home together with him. You were perfect for him…why again did he act like this?

What caused Kyoutani's attempt to apologize - in his usual overly blunt and partly aggressive kind of way - was Yahaba, though. Both boys denied being remotely something beyond 'not really enemies'. But his future team captain was definitely one of the very few people that could and would tell him to his face that he fucked up without real repercussions. He would presumably even help Kyoutani to get it together.

After Yahaba had called you and listened to your heartbreaking rant, the setter realized that you, his friend, and his 'not really enemy' needed to talk ut out. Totally immersed in your tirade, you accidentally let slip that you couldn't endure Kyoutani's treatment any longer. That being pushed over by your boyfriend with brash and hurtful words after handling the cold shoulder was too much. That you expected Kyoutani to break up with you on Monday either way. In-person, if he had mercy on you or continue his treatment as a silent method of doing so. While you told Yahaba about your planned ''get over it-self-care'' weekend (involving tons of ice cream, movies with crying guarantee, lots of blankets, and no smartphone), the setter had already put on his jacket, shooting a message to Kyoutani.

From Yahaba: get your stupid fucking ass outside to meet me, or I'll bench you the complete season next year

Even though the wing spiker was sure that Yahaba's words were nothing but empty words, Kentarou allowed himself to accept this threat as an excuse to put his pride aside. Because, even though Yahaba annoyed him to no end - not as bad as Oikawa but still - Kentarou was also aware that you and he were friends. If someone could help him gaining your forgiveness, Kyoutani had to accept and admit that it was Yahaba. Meeting his light brown-haired teammate was kind of awkward. Kyoutani was unsure what he had to expect, though he should have seen the rough treatment coming. Yet, getting told that you, the person Kentarou was undeniably in love with, felt so neglected and hurt that you deemed this relationship to be as good as over allowed the guilt monster in his chest to grow. Shitty Oikawa was probably right ordering him to grovel and beg on his knees for you to even hear him out.

Your answer to his message was partly unlike you. Well, the last sentence. You usually were pretty forward with him to avoid miscommunication and uncalled-for moping around. And while you sometimes send keyboard smashes to express the chaos you felt, they were always in a separate message and not so…random. The text definitely meant something like ''then come to me'' but somehow, Kyoutani had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Besides, he couldn't just wait till Monday and hope that you'd accept his apology! You may send him away today already, but he still had a teeny-tiny bit of hope. If he let the thoughts of him leaving you or the other way around fester in your mind for two whole days, though,…you'd probably realize that leaving him wasn't that bad of a decision. You'd come to the conclusion that all your admirers could treat you better than Kyoutani did. And he was too selfish to let you leave. Even though all he did the whole week was being self-centered and stuck up, he would be damned to begin being a saint now and let you go. That you at least were willing to talk to him was…a relief, to say the least. Kentarou hoped that this translated to you being willing to put up with him a little longer if he apologized correctly. That you're not opposed to giving him another chance to make things right.

At your house, he was greeted with darkness. Not even a single light illuminating any of the rooms he could see from his spot on your front lawn. And the ones he saw were your and your mom's most-used rooms. Your room window, your mothers' workroom, and the living room area with an adjacent kitchen. All of those rather significant rooms and the lack of light in them seemed to be a dead giveaway for Kyoutani that no one was home. Kyoutani guessed that you were probably out with your mom, glancing over to the empty spot in front of the garage.

Oh god, your mother had been the only supportive person of your relationship. Maybe it's in your family to see the best in everyone, even in shitty people like him. But if you told her about his behavior, she'd most likely not welcome him with a smile ever again, no matter if you forgave him.

There weren't many things Kyoutani could do in this situation, but it wasn't as late as nature let it on, and after a few seconds, he had decided to sit down at the front door and wait for you, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for you to come home. As if fate wanted to tell him something, the wing spiker had put on the jacket with the half-full power bank. He had worn it to the shelter when he visited it this week while distracting himself from your absence in his daily life. You had gifted him the piece of clothing, which is probably why he unconsciously had decided to wear it to everything he did after school in the first place.

Kentarou passed the time by snarling at people eyeing him for a moment too long to not be judgmental, petting the neighbors' cat wandering over to him, and watching videos. Every time he thought ''Y/N would like this'', his heart stuttered guilty.

To Kentarou, it felt like an eternity until your mother's car finally drove up the entry. To avoid your mother's potentially deadly stare, he nervously checked his mobile, realizing that he had waited for a little more than 3 hours. Yet, the wait had done nothing to soothe his nerves. They instantly spiked up again while his heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

She will hate me. Your mother would hate me, she'll hate me, she'll ha-

''Ah, Ken-chan! Good evening.'' Your mother greets him with a tired, yet still gentle smile. Oh. The blond blanches. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed the treatment he received from your mother more than he should. Being spoken to without suspicion and receiving a warm smile every time without fail was a welcome change to his daily life. Your mother didn't listen to people trying to bad-mouth him. To her, he simply was the boy that - normally - treats her child the way a mother wished for. Even if he pulled a face as long as a fiddle.

''I didn't know you were coming, Ken-chan, or I would have messaged you…but now that you're here, maybe you can assist us out and help Y/N inside? It would help a lot.'' His gaze immediately flitted over to you on the passenger seat. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and that stubborn but endearingly cute pout on your lips, he nearly missed the tiredness your body emitted. Kentarou wanted to rush over to your side immediately but was stopped by your mother again. ''I don't know what you two are fighting about…but please talk to each other. I don't want my baby to be this sad. Especially now, and…'' she rests a hand on his shoulder, her eyes kind and comforting ''…I also don't want to miss you here, alright?'' He stiffly nodded and watched your mother carrying in plastic bags filled with various medicine packages and food.

After coming back to his senses, Kyoutani finally stumbled over to your side, practically ripping open the car door. This new perspective revealed a plaster cast wrapping your whole left leg and a removable wrist brace on your right hand. ''Bab- Y/N…what the fuck…happened?'' His honey-brown eyes continued to wander over your injuries, and with every second, he found more. Scratches and scrapes, bandaids and bandages peeking out from underneath your clothes. ''I'm so sorry,'' he whispered, hanging his head low.

All your intentions to fight his helping hand and limp over to the door by yourself disintegrated into nothing. You never witnessed such a devastated, beaten expression on his face before. Instead, you settle for ''Will you help me?''. A question asked quietly to your fingers picking at a loose band-aid edge on your arm and pressing it back onto the irritated skin.

After you loosened your seatbelt, he waits for you to carefully place your arms around his neck. It is followed by Kyoutani lifting you out of the car so gently as if he was afraid you might break. This whole situation in itself already contradicting his brash appearance and usual behavior. It would give whiplash to all the people pretending to know him. But he was always caring in his own way when it came to you. It's why you loved him after all. Because you usually knew that he loved you, too.

For a few moments, the atmosphere between the two of you felt awkwardly tense, both of you unsure how to interact with each other. The mostly blonde wing spiker breathed out a sigh of relief when you fully leaned into his chest once he stood upright, resting your head against his shoulder. A bit of maneuvering through the front door eventually lead to Kyoutani passing through the hallway and taking you to your room, where he was gently lowering you down on the bed.

It was a now or never kind of situation. For the both of you. While Kentarou was trying to find out where to begin his apology, he took a few steps back in case you wanted space until everything was cleared up.

You unconsciously helped him making a decision by impulsively grasping onto his shirt the moment he started to withdraw, stopping him in his retreating movement. Kentarou saw your lower lips wobbling, teary eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

''Please stay,'' you say weakly, which is enough for him to throw the whole thinking process away and simply sit down next to you, intertwining both your hands. ''I'm staying. I'm not leaving. Not now nor this relationship if you still want...an ''us''. The wing spiker took a deep, shuttering breath. '' I'm sorry, Y/N…'' he finally manages to say, honey eyes locked onto your linked your hands. ''I have been fucking stupid all week. 've been a fucking terrible boyfriend, the worst to ever exist.''

As if to encourage him...to show your boyfriend that his apology was not for nothing, you shuffled around until the last bit of distance between the two of you was closed. You hum, acknowledging his words while leaning your head on his shoulder.

''I didn't think you're cheating or something, …'' Kyoutani immediately assures you. There was no way he would allow you to think that he would accuse you of something like this. ''I had no reason to be jealous, but I was insecure. Let it get the best of me. Despite our promise to communicate, I was sulking. 't was easier. I'll do whatever the fuck you want for you to not give up yet…'' he says, taking his time with every sentence.

With a sigh, you squeeze his hand. ''It will probably take a lot of cuddling and attention from you...'' you say thoughtfully ''...but I forgive you…if you promise to not do this again…'' you murmur, tilting your head upward to press a chaste kiss to his jaw. ''Otherwise, I'll accept Iwaizumi-san's offer to get your thinking process restarted.'' For a moment, your voice had its usual joking edge. But you knew talking out everything was necessary. ''But, in all honesty, 'Tarou....please, never do this again. I am honest. I will not endure this a second time. When you tell me that you need a day or two for yourself then that is totally fine. If you feel yourself giving into whatever insecurity, talk to me about it. I am sure there will be an explanation or a solution but don't leave me in the dark. Don't treat me like that. I love you. Only you and no one else. But the time love can withstand straight-up ignorance by your partner is limited.''

Slowly, your boyfriend nodded, squeezing your hand to tell you that he understood. You would probably cling to him for a while but were sure that he would survive the extra closeness. Not even half a second later, his head leans onto yours cautiously.

''…and try being nicer to Oikawa-san, Tarou, he hasn't done anything to you.'' You add humorously before small giggles started to erupt from your lips. ''Also...Baby…'' you start, being interrupted by choked-up hiccups and giggles. By using your nickname for him, you take away another persistent fear of his. What he does not miss, however, is how you wince in pain before you continue, ''…who helped you put this into words? I mean…I loved it, but…,'' You leave unsaid that words usually are not his strong fort.

Biting back a smile, he frowns, huffs, and puffs…, but the way you are looking up at him, eyes shining with relief and adoration, allows him to admit defeat. He sighs ''…it's how Yahaba said I should say it…'' It usually would be an odd enough statement to make you throw yourself all over him with laugher. As a slight replacement, you squeeze his hand a bit, still shaking with suppressed laughter. ''I promise…that I will talk to you. Can't promise the Shittykawa part.'' Another soft chuckle leaves your lips before you look up at him again. ''I hope you try nonetheless. You should not let Iwaizumi-san hear you calling Oikawa-san that, though, I don't think this would turn out well for you…so...maybe stop this at least.'' Kentarou rolls his eyes at you, but in the end, he nods.

You wait for another second to clearly distinguish the two topics before you continue. ''…Thank you…for coming and finally speaking with me instead of break-'' A hand on your lips muffles your words.

''Don't say these words. I'd never break up with you,'' Kentarou grumbles, a light, uncharacteristic light pink settling on his cheeks. You stick your tongue out, which leads to him taking his hand off of your face with a surprised noise, rather dumbfounded that you had licked his hand. It gives you the chance to lean up and finally press your lips against his. ''I'm not leaving you either,'' you murmur, feeling his lips twitch upwards slightly. You decide to leave the teasing for another day.

Moving back into your previous position was enough of a hassle to hiss in pain. It brought back Kyoutani's awareness of the second problem at hand. ''What did happen to you?'' Kyoutani asks in an attempt to tamper down the excited, happy beating of his heart.

''Oh, this...uh, when I answered your text, I got driven over by a dude on a bicycle,'' you casually drop. It was kind of entertaining to watch his expressions change at an unequaled pace while processing your words. In the end, it settled into something akin to passive-aggressive worry. The way he was immediately fretting over you while cursing and cussing out the bicycle dude was his own way of caring. As you watch him retrieving the food your mother bought, while mumbling about how you're a dumbass for not paying attention to your surroundings, how he'd come over every day until you could go to school again to bring and teach you the stuff you would miss and how he would fucking murder the bicycle idiot if he ever finds out who dared to drive you over, you can't help the smile forming on your lips.

Once again, you are proven that loving him - while occasionally troublesome and demanding - was everything but wrong.

#haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #kyoutani x reader #kyoutani x y/n #kyoutani x you #seijoh x reader #aoba josai x reader #mad dog x reader #eeeeh i hope I didn't forget anything #tw jealousy #cw jealousy #????#y/n lowly humming the you kinda smell like a baka sound and he just </3 #deserved though

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pies-writes-and-more · 4 years ago

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things they do when they love you

Characters: Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, Tanaka Ryūnosuke, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kozume Kenma, Tendō Satori, & Ushijima Wakatoshi, all with a Fem!Reader

Warnings: literally nothing - pure fluff <3

A/N: sorry for the lack of content lately! I’ve been super busy with work and school and I feel myself starting to get selfconscious of my work again so I’m hoping I can break through the writers block it comes with! Hope you enjoy! Also thank you to @thisnoodlewritesao3 and @satan-ruler-of-hells for listening to me talk about this fic probably a million times lol

haikyuu masterlist

Kageyama is awkward with telling you how he feels so he just tries to give you things to show you. like you mentioned once you liked the protein bar that Coach gave you guys and now he bought every single one of them from the store and is bringing it to your house. Oh did you say you liked milk too? Well I guess he’ll just have to bring you the whole fucking vending machine. Just wants to show he will provide you with all the things you love, pls love him back. I feel like he’d also be bugging his older sister all the time - asking her all sorts of questions about girls. She’s the reason your first date wasn’t at a volleyball game (and also the reason why he no longer thinks your first date was the first time you attended his games. “Tobio, a date is supposed to be where the two of you are hanging out together.” “But.... we are together. She’s watching me play.” “.... somewhere where your whole team and the whole of the Miyagi prefecture isn’t!”)

Tsukishima will let you pamper him lol. He likes the attention so when you’re doing face masks, he’ll like look through them and ask you questions about them. Sometimes it comes off as he’s judging you for spending money on this stuff but he’s really just waiting for you to ask if he wants to try one. You bought a dino face mask specifically for him but you thought he’d laugh at you if you asked. So you just kept it with the rest of your sheet masks. You’re putting one on one day and he’s like …. is that a dinosaur. And you’re like…. no? And immediately he’s like well now I have to have it please show me how to put this one. Lol cut to: it does nOT look like a dinosaur (have yall seen those ones that’s supposed to like look like a penguin or lion or something and just looks psychotic??? yeah that). He still likes it and even lets you take a picture of his first face mask cause you just look so happy that you’re doing it with him. It becomes a ritual and any time you’re doing face masks, he’ll do it with you and you just spill all the tea to him about shit you’ve heard at work or school and he just listens and aggressively calls everyone stupid lol

Tanaka aggressively praises you non stop but like in a good way haha. Did you just post a photo on instagram? He’s liked it first, commented a thousand different things about how he loves your outfit and your expression and how you’re the light of his life, and then he sHARES the photo to his story and is like look at how pretty my girlfriend is yall wish this was you. Oh did you just get a good grade at school??? Non stop bragging to his teammates about how he’s dating a genius (“I mean anyone’s a genius compared to you” “Tsukishima that is NO WAY TO TALK TO YOUR UPPERCLASSMAN YOU ASSHOLE”). If you’re feeling upset about something, he’ll comfort you and all but also tell you that you’re such a badass you could handle anything. And it’s not like empty compliments either - he genuinely believes that you are the most amazing human being to ever walk the planet

Yamaguchi (okay I got this idea partially from @/paige.ipairs on tiktok but it’s so cute that i had to put it here) likes doing anything with you so he likes it when you’re out shopping and you help him pick a new outfit or you style something for him. But his favourite thing is when you’re painting your nails and he’s like … that’s a nice colour… and you’re like Yamaguchi would you like… your nails painted? And at first it’s just the one finger and it’s a matching colour with you. Like on his ring finger to symbolize he’s with you but then soon he’s with you at the mall looking at different colours and picks out one’s he would like for you to paint for him and he just carries them over to you like .. o.o pls

Kenma will actively look for 2 player games that he can play with you. He’ll pretend like it’s nothing and that he just wants to try the game for the 1 player story but he’ll leave a controller out and just kind waits for you to ask to play or pick up the controller. He really likes it when you play, even if you wander around a lot and aren’t super focused on the story line. Minecraft with the two of you is always fun. He thinks it’s really funny how aggressive you get trying to save your animals from the zombies even though they won’t get hurt. You teared up once cause the pen you made for your chickens got blown up by a Creeper and he actually felt so bad even though you told him it was definitely not his fault. Cut to: you screaming aggressively when it comes to any Creeper as revenge for the chickens who were lost in the battle.

Tendō starts reading your favourite mangas and watches all of your favourite series/movies before you two really started dating because he wanted to know what to talk to you about. But now that you guys are together, he’ll plan dates where you can binge-watch all of your favourite movies/shows or just lie around and trade mangas (you had this man actually crying at some of them, he wasn’t ready for the hURT). If you’re not the biggest fan of horror films, he’ll insist that you guys don’t need to watch them but he loves when you stick it out with him cause it means extra cuddles and more snacks as comfort! If you do love horror films, he’ll always buy tickets to the new movies so the two of you can watch it together right away.

Ushijima will hold you no matter where you guys are. Big beefy boy doesn’t really understand why he wouldn’t hold you, even if you guys were in public. When you guys first started dating, you’d avoid reaching out for his hand because you figured big stoic guy like Ushijima, he wouldn’t really be a PDA kind of guy would he? Wrong. Well right, but also wrong. Boy probably doesn’t even realize what PDA is but he’ll reach for your hand and hold it anytime. And if you guys are waiting in line somewhere, he’ll just hold you in his arms in front of him. He has no sense of when not to do this. It’s like you’re his comfort person (which you are). In front of his Coach? Suddenly has you in front of him, hugging you to him. Being interviewed by some reporters? Oh look, you’re here too. Reminding Oikawa that he should’ve come to Shiratorizawa? You’re right in front sticking your tongue out at the Aoba Josai boi like the child you are lol. Honestly, he doesn’t think it’s weird but he knows deep down that he’s just really scared you’ll leave. He likes knowing you’re around because it reminds him you’re always there.

Haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join!)

@al0ehas @aurumk @devilkittymusic @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @lucyheartfilias-wife @darkvadeeer @haikyuutothetop @livy384 @babyshoyo

#haikyuu x reader #kenma x reader #tsukishima x reader #kageyama x reader #ushijima x reader #tendou x reader #yamaguchi x reader #tanaka x you #tanaka x reader #pieswrites #haikyuu!!

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memoriashell · 4 years ago

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hey i really like you ( can we go out? )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru, techincally some background Ishimaru / Oowada, Makoto gets a few lines, and Syo’s present for a bit in the begining.

crossposted on ao3

Notes: hello here's your late day five of @tokomaruweek week!! valentine's day prompt!!

the format for the texting section might look a little funky on tumblr since there’s no easy way of aligning right side / left side text but hopefully it’s obvious enough who’s texting what.

heads up i'll be skipping day 6 for now probably! i’ll come back to it when i’ve finished the rest of the week, i just might get stuck on it for a hot minute and i’d like to get the rest of the week out of the way first since i'm already behind.

anyways it's probably also noteworthy to mention that this drabble works on the basis you have a basic understanding of the cultural differences in how japan celebrates valentine's day. i was originally going to try and incorporate white day into this drabble instead of just mentioning it but i wasn’t super happy with how this one was turning out anyways and figured it was best to just get this out as it is!!

i also feel like i should clarify bc that i realize the way i characterize toko in everything this week has made it seems like she hates kiyotaka’s guts but honestly i think they’d be real close!! i really like them as two outsider kids who can relate to each other. they are two sides of the same narrative coin and in this essay i will /j anyways please understand she rags on him from a place of ( platonic ) LOVE. and also bc they r both my cc’s i could never be that mean to either of them. well. no meaner than canon is to them.

edit: forgot tws. nothing super huge bc it's mostly fluff, but it does refrence bullying ( although would you consider faked love confessions / etc as bullying? it's just cruel :( anyways. )

Summary: valentine's day has never been good for ugly girls ( and hopeless romantics ) like her.

Valentine's Day. Every girl’s least favorite day.

Or, well, at the very least, her least favorite. Uh, one of her least favorite holidays? Then again, it’s not like Touko really has a ‘favorite’ in the first place, so maybe her point is moot— but she’s getting side tracked here.

One would presume that a romantic like her, an author who writes romance for a living, would live for a holiday that's practically centered around love and romance, but they would be wrong. It’s a miserable reminder of a day for her who has practically been scorned by the idea of relationships. It is a bitter reminder of failed loves and societal norms that she’s never been able to meet.

( Ugly. Rude. Awkward. Unsociable. So what if they’re right? Who is she to tell them they’re wrong? )

If it is not for the fact that she is pretty sure Ishimaru will be at her door if she doesn’t show up, she would probably skip class today. Oh, to be a confident gay man on Valentine's Day and not a closeted lesbian who feels the need to meet heteronormative societal norms. It’s unfair because not only is he ( mostly ) unaffected by this kind of holiday, he’s probably one of the people who care the least about the delicate social intricacies ( and romanticism ) of a holiday like this one. If nothing else, so she can’t say she envies the position this puts Oowada in, because Ishimaru would probably just see this as a learning moment. Anyways before she sounds too envious of her peers for getting their shit together, she just wants it to be unknown that she thinks it’s really unfair that he would get to judge her reasons for wanting to skip school.

( Actually, if she fessed up the deep-seated issues related to why she’d rather not have to be present on a day like today, the last thing he’d do it judge but that’s not really something she wants to acknowledge right now )

Moving on.

Despite the fact that, internally, she is making a fuss about a holiday, she suspects that most of her class probably doesn’t really care about these things. That doesn't mean she feels any less pressured to conform. It’s not like any of them would want chocolates from someone like her anyways, so it’s not like she really needs to be worried...

It’s not the end of the world, stop being such a debbie downer! Syo butts in, ever so helpful. By which she means is very, very unwanted and unhelpful. All the same, they ( unfortunately ) have a point and if she has to put up with this shitty day then at the very least she’d like to have breakfast before someone sees fit to break down her door.

You technically don’t have to do anything. Syo sounds almost too enthusiastic to help with the ‘issue’ at hand.

Using you to escape my problems isn’t always a viable strategy. Touko rebukes. Nor is it a choice, usually.

Only because you try and make yourself as miserable as possible by making things worse for you.

She has nothing to say to that, and instead focuses on braiding her hair to be passably presentable.

“Fukawa-san?” Oh, what she wouldn’t give to not have to hear her name today. Granted, Touko doesn’t think hearing her name being called on any given day is usually a good sign, but it still feels too early in the day to willingly put up with anything and shoots a glare at Naegi, standing in front of her desk. It probably doesn’t help that he sounds nervous for some godforsaken reason, but that’s technically not out of the ordinary, and she’s pretty sure Syo has something to do with that. “Sorry, uh...I was going to try and catch you at your locker this morning, but I guess I must’ve missed you, huh?”

She gives him the most deadpan, withering stare she can muster at the moment as if to say obviously. She’d even turned up to class early because she figured that dealing with whoever else would be in class would be more manageable than having to deal with anything going on in the halls ( because Hope’s Peak is not a normal school and god knows if something can go wrong, it will, and she is not having any of it today ). She assumed that if she looked busy, anyone with any common sense would leave her alone, but Makoto is not the brightest, clearly.

It still kind of throws her for a loop, however, that he chooses to approach her today, of all days. If she were anyone else, or if this exchange happened in any other context, she is sure that him acting like this on Valentine's Day would seem like it was setting up for a love confession. If it weren’t for the fact that Naegi already had a partner so, that’s probably not an issue— not that that would be a theoretical issue, because hey it’s not like Naegi was likely to be the kind of person cruel enough to fake a love confession. That’s definitely not something that’s happened to Touko before and gotten her hopes up only to be horribly crushed and definitely not the reason she’s been particularly defensive today. Nope.

( Yeah, okay, she’s not fooling anyone, but thankfully the only one aware of this is herself. And Syo, but both of these things are clear givens )

It occurs to her that Naegi hasn’t said anything, waiting for her to say something to him, and she grits her teeth irritably. “Wh-What? Spit it out already.”

“Err...are you...” He starts to say something and then seems to think better of it, sheepishly ducking his head for a moment before holding a bag out to her. “Sorry. Komaru asked me to bring these to you. Kirigiri-san had to convince her to not try and sneak into the main building just to bring these to you herself.”

It takes a long minute for her to process what he says before snatching the bag from his grip and holding it close to herself. Friendship chocolates...? That’s probably what’s in the bag. Which is a pretty nice thought in itself— Touko doesn’t usually get gifts like this. It almost makes her not want to touch the bag and ruin the illusion, refrain from eat whatever’s in the bag: but honestly if she doesn’t, Syo will probably make sure to savor it, so she won’t even pretend like that’s an option.

( There’s a part of her that feels a little guilty too, that she hadn’t even considered that Komaru might do something like this and have something prepared for her in return, but if she’d made something and not gotten anything then she’d look like a fool, and it’s not like she would’ve been able to get it to her easily anyways, so she really shouldn’t feel guilty about accepting it, but— )

“I’m glad you like it. She was kind of worried about how you’d take it.” Naegi speaking breaks through her current train of thought and is he still standing here? Had she been stupidly smiling to herself? How embarrassing!

“It’s n-n-not like that...and what kind of person do, do you take me for, anyways...!” Well, if she had been showing any sort of positive emotion on her face, she isn’t anymore. Touko takes this as an opportunity to shove the bag into her book bag, before anyone can notice. For some reason, he looks vaguely disappointed. “I was...ugh, I was just th-thinking that it was surprising she’d trust you with it given the, the track record with how your l-luck turns out!”

Makoto opens his mouth to refute this but thank god someone calls his name from the doorway, and she takes that opportunity goes back to her books before he can try and say anything further to her.

touko-chan!!!!

makoto said he gave you my gift successfully so i know u got it

i think

i didn’t expect u to thank me or anything but it’d be nice

pls tell me u got it right

did u at least read the note i left in there for u

Does Komaru not have homework, or what? She could at least give her a few minutes to try and get a word in. It’s not her fault math is a bitch and Touko is too stubborn to maybe talk to one of her peers into explaining the subject to her.

Yes, by some miracle I did manage to get it.

Thanks.

You’re a good friend.

Sorry.

Is that all? I’m busy.

That is not all, apparently, because Komaru forgoes texting to call her directly. If it were anyone else, she’d ignore it; but since it’s her she figures she can probably talk and do math at the same time.

“So you didn’t check the bag at all?” Komaru speaks before she can even consider greeting her, and Touko rolls her eyes despite the fact that she cannot see it.

“Hello to y-you too. Uh…honestly, I shoved it in my bag earlier and...and haven’t checked on it since. I assumed it was j-j-just candy, and it’s probably safer hid from Syo there.”

“Ugh! I told Makoto to mention to you that I put something else in there. And there’s a box for Syo in there too!” She can practically hear her pouting through the phone line. “Well, uh— I guess that’s fine since you’re busy...? Just check it when you get the chance, okay? Please? I promise it’ll make sense.”

“I got it, I got it. I’ll take a break once I finish this up and check it out. Good enough for you?”

“Mhm! Thank you Touko-chan! I’ll let you go now, so you can focus. Bye!” If Touko wasn’t mistaken ( but probably is ), she sounded almost nervous, the way her words come out in one rushed breath.

Admittedly, now she’s too intrigued by whatever had Komaru pressed enough to make sure she was aware of it, and she doesn’t think she’ll be able to focus now, so...opening the bag it is. She grumbles and groans to herself for a moment, stretching as she gets up from her desk to grab her bag.

She hadn’t really noticed at the time, but now that she thinks about it, there’s some definite weight to this thing, more than she’d expect from some candies ( even now knowing that apparently Komaru had accounted for Syo as well ). Not much though, and she probably would’ve just passed it off for the box the sweet is stored in if she were to really think about it, but now she figures that’s probably not the case. Touko peeks inside the bag a little hesitantly— curiosity wins out over anxiety in the end, and spots what appears to be a small booklet along with a box of chocolates.

Oh god.

She braces herself because, this is probably some kind of manga if she knows Komaru and ( unfortunately ) not a mini-novella but otherwise has no idea what to expect. And once she opens it, she has to thank whatever higher being made sure Makoto didn’t say a thing to her about it because there’s absolutely no way she would have been able to keep a straight face if she’d looked at this in class.

One, she forgot how generally talented Komaru was at this type of stuff. Obviously, still room for improvement, but not nearly as bad as Touko would have thought. Two, this is not really a manga, but a fucking thinly veiled love confession, complete with the most casual ‘Hey I really like you, can we go out?’ Third, she’s extremely glad Komaru did not insist on being on the phone while she checked this out because she does not think she can coherently answer that right now.

In fact, it takes Touko a good half hour to calm herself down enough before she can even consider texting her a response. There’s no way she’s embarrassing herself any further by calling her about it, even if that might have been a more meaningful exchange, but like Komaru just confessed to her through manga so clearly they’re already past that point.

You’re a dork.

I hate that you’re using your talents for this though.

thats not a no?

Not a yes.

Very tempted to make it a no for making me suffer through this.

touko-chan;;;;;

be gentle to my poor heart if ur gonna reject me :(

Ugh. I was kidding.

Yes you idiot.

Just don’t use manga for this stuff next time?

ok!!!!! :)

actually i promise nothing

lol sorry ♡

You’re the worst.

hehehehehe >:)

i love you too!!

are you busy this week??

let’s meet up!!!

Some of us care about our grades. As should you.

But Thursday and Friday are lighter days.

Yeah yeah. I like you or something.

thank uuuuu ♡♡♡

She chews on her lip as she rereads the message and mulls over it as she tries to ignore the flip-flop of her stomach. It’ll be fine. She’ll just aim to have something planned out for White Day in return.

#tokomaru week 2021 #toukomaru #tokomaru #komaru naegi #toko fukawa #touko fukawa #danganronpa #* zhi writes

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p4nkow · 5 years ago

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You take my breath away - part V

i swear i’m alive! it feels like it takes me forever to finish a chapter but finally here it is. there’s going to be some tea ☕️ in the next part so stay tuned! what do you guys think it’s gonna happen? let me know your speculations in my inbox or in my dms, i’d love to read what you guys think

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

Summary: reader has always dreamt of being an actress and she gets the chance of a lifetime when she’s cast as Dominique Beyrand in the infamous biopic about the legend himself, Freddie Mercury. But what will happen when she gets to know better the man who plays his love interest in the movie, Roger Taylor? Will Ben and Y/N’s story be as lucky as the one of characters they portray or will they be starcrossed lovers? Because it happens that things might get complicated because of Ellie, Ben’s long-term girlfriend.

Enjoy and pls, please!, let me know what you think

June 2nd, 2018 – London

Today was the day — the fateful moment had arrived. Finally, after almost a year of work, you and your cast mates were starting to promote BoRhap. You had no idea how to handle all the interviews and trips to other countries and the sudden notoriety you’d have gained, but you were grateful for one particular thing — being away from Ben.

No matter how many times you lied to Lucy, Joe and even to yourself, the truth was that you were starting to feel something for him. And he was just using you to forget his ex girlfriend. You wanted to kill all the butterflies you felt in your stomach every time you heard his name.

“I just thought of what I want to make my New Year's Resolution!” You couldn’t help but give Joe a confused look. Was he really talking about New Year’s Resolutiomm on June?

“Buddy I think you’re a bit late for this”, You pointed out with a small laugh. It was just you, him and Rami waiting in the backstage. The rest of the cast was still getting ready and luckily you hadn’t seen Ben yet. You knew he was there, Joe had told you, but that didn’t mean you had to talk to him.

“There’s still at least the 60% percent of the year left.” You couldn’t tell if Rami was being serious or not. You limited yourself to look at him with an amused smile and you started to think about his situation — you couldn’t have the slightest idea of all the pressure he was under. Now that the award season was about to start his life would’ve been a nightmare. You just hoped he’d get all the recognition he deserves for his hard work.

You zoned out from the conversation as soon as you heard your phone buzzing, sign that you’d received a message. It was from Laura, your best friend, and it was a link to an article. You narrowed your brows, confused by that sudden and unexplained message, and you opened the link. You gasped in surprise as soon as you read the headline:

“Is Ben Hardy single? Let’s take a look at the 'Bohemian Rhapsody' star’s love life.”

You froze in your chair just by reading that sentence only. Joe and Rami were still chatting in the background as you took a deep breath, trying to summon up the courage to keep reading the article.

“Is he single or not? That is certainly one of the undeniable questions on the mind of viewers who can’t wait to watch the hit biographical film Bohemian Rhapsody. So, we're all wondering, is Ben Hardy single? Hardy recently got out of a longtime relationship but he could’ve already found a new love. In fact he was spotted while leaving Y/N Y/L/N’s house. The new star of Hollywood is his costar in the upcoming movie and we’re all wondering if their relationship in front of the cameras led the two actors into something completely different and deeper.”

“What the fuck!” Your tone was louder than expected and you gained a confused look by Joe.

“Is everything alright?”

You quickly stood up from your chair as Lucy joined the three of you and you took deep breaths to calm down. She noticed something was off by the way you looked at her, so she completely ignored the boys and asked “What’s wrong?”

“Where’s Ben?” It was a matter you had to deal with him and with him only. Her lips parted in confusion and she slightly shook her head, vaguely gesturing towards the hallway. “He’s still in the dressing room.”

You gave her a quick nod and you ignored her questions, walking past her through the hallway. You were so bloody mad — deep down you knew it wasn’t Ben fault, but you didn’t want to be known just as Ben’s new love.

So as soon as you arrived in front of the dressing room, you started to knock on the closed door. “Just a minute!” Ben’s voice came muffled but his words didn’t stop you from knocking even more insistently. “Bloody hell!”

Not even ten seconds later the door swung open and a very shirtless Ben stood in front of you. Your lips parted in surprise — you didn’t see that coming. You forced yourself to move his gaze from his bare chest to his face, locking your eyes into his.

26 days.

You hadn’t seen his beautiful eyes in twenty-six days and only now that he was right in front of you, you realised how much you missed him. It was like receiving a punch in the stomach but you forced yourself to focus back on th reason why you were there.

“What the fuck is this?” You placed your phone right in front of his face and his brows became more and more narrowed as he read the article. He took your phone from your hand and by doing so his hand touched yours. You missed his touch so bloody much that it almost gave you the goosebumps.

“I have no idea”, He replied in a low voice while keep reading the article. “I hadn’t noticed the paparazzi.”

“This is bullshit!” He gave you a confused look and took a step towards you.

“Why are you so mad? It isn’t like there’s written something so outrageous!”

You couldn’t believe his words. “It is for me! That’s one of the thing I feared the most — being objectified for a relationship.”

“You’re not being objectified.” Ben’s tone was as loud as yours, the two of you yelling st each other by now. “And we’re not in a relationship.”

You couldn’t deny that his words hurt you deeply and that’s why you blinked a couple of times, a knot forming in your throat as you fought the tears. “You’re right, we aren’t.”

He seemed to realise the impact his words had on you and his features relaxed a bit. He pursed his lips and he was about to say something when the two of you were interrupted by a newcomer. “What the hell is going on?”

Callie was looking at the two of you with her brows more narrowed than ever. That’s probably because the two of you were arguing ten minutes before a very important interview for your careers.

You sighed deeply and nodded towards Ben, who extended your phone to Callie for her to read the article. There was a weird silence between the three of you for a couple of seconds and then Callie’s gaze met yours. You couldn’t read the look in her eyes but you had a bad feeling about it.

“Well this might be useful.” To say that you were shocked at her words was an understatement.

“‘m sorry?” You squeaked and moved your gaze to Ben.

He’d placed his hands on his hips and he shrugged as soon as he met your gaze. “Tell her that it isn’t.”

“Listen, Y/N”, Callie started. “This might be a good publicity for the movie and for your career.”

“I don’t care, it’s my privacy we’re talking about!”

“Y/N”, Ben said but you gave him a death stare. “Don’t you dare”, You murmured in a low tone, pointing a finger at him. You heard him sighing deeply as you turned again towards Callie and she pursed her lips.

“Listen”, She said after inhaling deeply, holding her papers against her chest. “Y/N, I’m not saying that you should fake-date or something like that, ‘kay?”

“Then what?” You placed both your hands on your hips and you looked at her with your eyes narrowed.

Callie sighed again, giving a quick look at the hallway on her right. You could tell she was torn and Ben was surprisingly quiet. “I'm just saying that if the two of you were spotted spending some time together without confirming or denying anything, it'd be incredibly useful to your careers. Y/N, you just made it to Broadway and Ben, you're in a Michael Bay's movie!”

You immediately looked at Ben, hoping he'd say something to get that insane idea out of Callie's mind, but he limited himself to stare at the ground. Was he okay with all that nonsense? “So you're suggesting for us to pretend we're dating?”

“I'm just saying”, Callie urged to reply. “That yeah, you should spend some time together without confirming or denying anything. Let medias do their job.”

“I can't believe it”, You murmured under your breath, avoiding their gaze and turning your back at the two of them. But then a thought popped up in your mind. “What if I'm dating someone?”

Ben coughed and when you finally decided to look at him, he was already looking at you with his brows raised in surprise. “Are you?”

“Don't you think I knew if she were?”, Callie quickly replied and gave you a death stare. "Listen, it's just an idea. 'm gonna look for Emma— Ben's manager needs to be involved, too. Just... don't go anywhere." She pointed her index finger at you before walking away, her heels echoing in the hallway.

What did you get yourself into?

Ben's green eyes met yours again and you shook your head in disbelief before walking past him and sitting on one of the chairs in the dressing room.

He followed you and as much as he wanted to say something – anything – both of you remained quiet for a while. You watched him, though — the way his toned back muscles moved as he hurried to wear a white shirt.

“This is bullshit”, You said in the exact same moment he murmured “Congrats, anyway.”

You gave him a little smile and before you could say anything he added “You first.”

“This isn't right, Ben.” You desperately wanted him to really think about that story. “What does Ellie think of it?”

As soon as you pronounced the girl's name, Ben turned towards you. “It's over with Ellie, you know that.”

“Yeah, right.” You clicked your tongue and looked away. You heard Ben sighing deeply while trying to put on a leather jacket.

“Y/N, what happened—”

“Forget about it, Ben”, You quickly interrupted him, and you couldn't help but chuckle when you heard him swearing under his breath while struggling with the collar.

You stood up and walked towards him, driving away his hands as he sighed deeply. You gently fixed the collar of the jacket and you could feel his green eyes staring at you. “Are you?” His voice was low and your bodies were so close that you could easily smell his cologne.

“What?” You raised your gaze to meet his and it was like receiving a punch in the stomach. You missed the intimacy you had but you also knew it was all a lie.

“Dating someone else.”

You bit your lower lip at his words, looking away from him and taking a step back. The odds were in your favour and before you could answer him, the door swung open.

“Aaron called.” Callie entered the room followed by Ben's manager, Emma, and extended you your phone.

“And?” You unlocked it just to make sure there were no unread texts.

“And I told him you were already doing the interview. Now let's talk about serious things.”

“Who's Aaron?” Ben asked, stepping in the conversation.

“Y/N's costar in Moulin Rouge.” By hearing Callie's words Ben looked at you and by the look in his eyes and the way his features tensed up, you could tell he'd misunderstood everything. Still, you said nothing to make things clear.

The super fast meeting in the dressing room didn't go as you expected and that's why, an hour later, you were leaning against Ben's arm, which was placed on the back of the sofa.

That's the reason why Lucy was looking at you in disbelief— if stares could kill Ben'd be already dead. She was assisting at the interview from behind the scenes – you'd been divided in two groups and casually you ended up in the same group as Ben and Joe.

“What's your favorite Queen song that hasn't been included in the movie?”

Ben clicked his tongue at the interviewer's question while you exchanged a look with Joe. “I still haven't seen the final cut 'cause I haven't been able to do it – is '39 included?”, Ben asked the two of you.

You limited yourself to shake your head 'no' and Joe murmured “No, it isn't.”

Ben pursed his lips and have you a quick look before looking back at the man sitting right in front of you. “I'd say '39, then. We had a lot of fun while filming it – we played it in Japan and that for me was one of my favorite days of filming.”

You tried to stay focused on his words but it wasn't easy at all given that his body was pressed against yours. Your left shoulder was leaning against his chest and your thigh was right against his.

You focused back on the interview when the man called your name. “What's yours, Y/N?”

“Uhm – I'd say It's late. It's a song written by Brian and I've loved it since the very first time I've heard it. Love the meaning, the tune, the guitar solo... everything.” The interviewer seemed to be satisfied with your answer and he proceeded to ask Joe the same question.

You lifted your chin yo meet Ben's eyes – you were terrified. That was your first interview ever and you were bloody nervous about it. Ben noticed it by the look in your eyes and he gently squeezed your shoulder, giving you a tight smile. Despite everything that happened between you two, you were grateful to have him by your side.

July 13th, 2018 - New York

“I swear, it's just a few blocks away.” Joe's words came muffled from the phone as he tried to convince you to have lunch together.

“Joe I swear to God that if I have to walk—"

“Oh, c'mon! Trust me!”

“You sighed, giving a quick look at the traffic light – red light, of course. You loved the atmosphere that characterised New York. Everyone seemed busy, lost in their own thoughts and minding their own business. Not to mention the incredible buildings that surrounded you.

You missed London like the desert misses the rain but you wouldn't complain if you had to move to the Big Apple.

“Okay, fine.” How could you say no to Joe? You heard him saying something in an excited tone but you didn't pay attention to him — you'd gotten the notification that Ben was trying to call you.

“Joe, gotta go.” You didn't like to interrupt people while they were talking but you weren't much sensible when it came to Ben.

“Why?”, He protested. As soon as the traffic light became green you hurried to walk across the street.

You took a deep breath, telling him the first lie that came to your mind. “Aaron's calling me, I'm late for rehearsal.” You we're starting to become a proper liar, geez.

After promising him to meet him in a few hours, you hung up and called back Ben. Three blasts later, he picked up the phone. “Hey, love.”

“Y/N”, You corrected him. He had no right to call you that. Not after everything that happened.

“Hey, Y/N”, He repeated as if he was mocking you and you sighed deeply.

“Hi, Benjamin. Hey, excuse me! Watch where you're going.” A mid-aged lady had hit you and you had almost lost your balance in the middle of the street.

“What?” Ben was clearly confused and amused at the same time by your words.

“Sorry, that wasn't for you.” You noticed the theatre in the distance and you slightly smiled, feeling the adrenaline that only the stage gave you. All the recognitions in Hollywood were nothing compared to the theatre.

“Are you in New York?” You heard a thud and Ben swore under his breath.

“Yeah, I'm going to work. What the hell are you doing?”

“Almost broke my neck – damned wires.” You chuckled and you shook your head in amusement.

The door of the theatre was so heavy that it took you almost a whole minute to open it. “There's a reason for your call or—”

“Uhm...” Ben seemed almost nervous and it made you smile.

You gave a nod to one of the members of the crew and he smiled at you. The sound of your boots echoed in the hallway and the more you approached the stage the more exited you were. “I was thinking...”

“Yeah?”

“I'm gonna be in Italy next week and I've got some time off between a shot and the other.”

“Uh-uh. Hi everyone!”, You said as you entered the backstage room, waving at those presents.

“Would you like to come with me?”, Ben continued. You narrowed your brows at his question while you put away your bag and your jacket.

“To Italy?” His request took you off guard.

“Y/N, rehearsals start in five.” You turned towards Aaron by hearing his words. His dark blonde hair was longer than Ben's, even its shade was very different. He gave you a polite smile and you immediately noticed the laugh lines around his eyes.

“Yeah, coming”, You quickly replied and focused back on Ben as he asked “Was that Adam? Yeah, anyway. To Italy.”

He seemed a bit... annoyed by Aaron? Who knows.

“It's Aaron, Ben.”

“Whatever.”

You shook your head in amusement and sighed deeply. “Listen, Ben. I don't know...”

“Callie told me you won't be working in those days.” Why did he care so much anyway?

“I'll think about it. Gotta go now.”

You heard Ben sighing deeply and you closed your eyes, thinking about his request. Was it really the right thing to do?

And those thoughts led you to your next question. “Why should I accept?” You didn't mean to sound rude or anything but you weren't in a good relationship at the moment. “It's not like we're together or anything.”

Ben stood quiet for a few seconds and you checked if he had hung up. “Just thought it might help us with all that paparazzi-thing.”

It's not like you were expecting a different explanation -- maybe something that involved feelings, y'know -- but man, that hurt.

“Yeah”, You whispered before clearing hour throat. “I— uhm... I'll think about it.” And with that you hung up. After almost a month from when the decision was madeX you still didn't like at all that story about medias and paparazzi. You didn't want to pretend to be someone you weren't, not even when it came to Ben.

July 20th, 2018 - Florence

It was like being free again, after months of oppression. Italy felt like home and being able to visit it to often was a gift.

You raised your chin, your gaze slipping through all the historical monuments around you before focusing back on Brunelleschi's Dome. A masterpiece. And for the first time after days loosing sleep because of it; you didn't regret accepting Ben's proposal.

Ben. He was standing right on the Dome, held by strings for his safety. He was gesturing towards the window and you could barely see him because of the height.

“Pretty scary, huh?” Emma leaned towards you, her words were just whispers as she spoke to you.

“Yeah.” And you were amazed by what a terrific actor Ben was. You already knew that — after all you'd worked with him — but it was nice to see him in another role rather than Roger.

“He never said anything about it but he misses you.” It took you a few seconds to process her words. You moved your gaze to her and she was already staring at you with a brow raised and a mischievous smile on her face.

You limited yourself to give her a nod — you had no idea what to say because the truth was that you bloody missed him too. And Emma knew it. “I can see it in your eyes. You miss him too.”

“I'm still mad at him.” The director gave you two a death stare but Emma didn't seem to care.

“You can be mad at someone and still miss them.” And you wondered if she was right.

When almost half an hour later Ben was done with the filming, he approached you with a big smile. It was like nothing ever happened between the two of you, like if the events of your birthday were long forgotten.

And when he hugged you, holding you tight, all you could see when you closed your eyes and sighed was the look in his eyes when he spotted you right next to Emma. It was so overwhelming that it woke the butterflies in your stomach.

His nose touched your neck and that touch was so gentle that it gave you goosebumps. You held him tighter, smiling at the feeling of his body against yours. “Hey.”

He backed away and now his face was right in front of yours. “Hey. How was the flight?”

“It was good, yeah.” His face was dirty, purposely covered in mud for the filming. But that didn't mean he didn't look handsome as hell.

“You okay? Wanna get some rest?” His concern made you smile and you shook your head 'no' at his question.

“Ben, I'm fine.” His hand slipped through your arm and you took a step back. It wasn't good for you to be this close to him.

“Ben, you're done for the day. Good job, now get some rest.” The director approached him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Ben gave him a nod and a polite smile but you stood quiet. He thanked him and when he walked away Ben turned towards against you. “Hope you brought a fancy dress, love.”

“Y/N”, You corrected him almost immediately, creating a bit of tension between you two. A corner of Ben's lips lifted in an amused smile and you bit your lower lip when he grabbed your hand, making his way through the rest of the cast.

“And why's that?”

“Because,” He gave you a quick look from above his shoulder. “We are going out tonight.”

You heard the clicks of the cameras even before noticing the flashlights — they weren't there when you'd gotten to the set but now the square was full of paparazzi and their eyes were all on you and Ben.

He noticed how uncomfortable you were, probably because you tightened the grip on his hand, and he gave you a soft smile. “We're almost there, Y/N. Don't mind them. Focus on me.” And found that was even harder than avoiding the paparazzi.

That night you wore the fanciest dress you'd bought with you and you'd put your hair up with a simple hair-stick. Even though you weren't together; you still wanted to impress him.

When he knocked on the door of your hotel room you'd just finished getting ready. You weren't surprised to see him wearing all black but sure as hell you were surprised when you movies he was holding a red rose.

“Hey, love.” And probably for the first time in months you didn't correct him – maybe because he's caught you off guard, maybe because you didn't want to.

Your cheeks turned rose when you felt his gaze slipping through your body before locking his green eyes back on yours. “You're... stunning. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Sexy.”

“Whoa”, You murmured with a soft laugh. You bit the inside of your cheek at his words and looked away from him while taking the rise. “You look good, too.” You gave him a little smile before bringing the rose close to your nose – you loved the smell of flowers.

And the look Ben gave you, brought you back to when he was almost yours. You missed his touch, the feeling of his lips on yours, the way he made you feel. You missed Ben, and Emma was bloody right about it.

“Wait”, He murmured when you closed the door behind you, taking a step towards him in the hallway. He took off the hair-stick and your hair fell on your shoulders. You gave him a questioning look and he murmured with an apologetic smile “I like your hair down. You look pretty.” And your heart went whoosh.

Ben had reserved a table in the private area of a fancy Italian restaurant and the atmosphere was almost overwhelming. It was looking out over the River Arno with the unforgettable view of the Ponte Vecchio – that's what Ben told you while pouring some wine.

“It's so posh.” Ben gave you a quick look and you gave him a tight smile. You were starting to relax again with him and you loved what he was doing for you. No one ever did something like that before.

“Is it, huh?” You hit your lower lip while trying not to chuckle at the look he gave you.

You were almost afraid to bring up the subject but that didn't stop you from saying “And what does Ellie think about this situation?”

“Y/N.” He sighed deeply and gave you the 'seriously? again?' look.

“What?”

He placed his elbows on the table and leaned towards you, a mischievous smile lighting up how beautiful face. “And what does Adam think of it?”

“It's Aaron.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You pursed your lips and exhaled deeply, giving him a little smile. “Aaron and I are not together.” Not that you owed him any explanation.

“Neither are Ellie and I.” You narrowed your eyes at his words and temporarily decided to believe him while taking a sip of wine. And you were grateful to him when he switched the sickest of the conversation. “How's Broadway?”

You thought about it and it took you a few seconds to find the proper answer. “Exhausting.”

Ben seemed interested in your stories about Broadway and you carefully avoided to mention Aaron while updating him. And you chatted basically for the entire night, between a dish and the other.

And almost two hours later, you'd moved the conversation to the small terrace looking out over the river. Your elbows were resting on the railing as you took a draw of his cigarette. “Promotional tour starts on Monday.”

“In London, right?” His tone was just as low as yours and it felt like a moment of intimacy. You extended him the cig without saying anything at first, taking your time to reply.

“Yeah.” You gave him a quick look with the corner of your eyes and then you looked away. How could you face the entire tour without Ben by your side?

You heard him sighing and he turned towards you so you raised your gaze to meet his. “You're so beautiful tonight.”

You shook your head, almost begging him to stop. “Whatever we are— Y/N, I still remember the way we were. And I miss you.” He took a step towards you and as much as you didn't want to, you did it too.

What the hell you were doing? You were supposed to stay away from him.

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raywritesthings · 5 years ago

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You’re the Hero, Laurel

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Thea Queen, Roy Harper, John Diggle, Felicity Smoak, Quentin Lance Pairings: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen, Thea Queen/Roy Harper Summary: Part of Oliver's letter to Laurel after the Undertaking makes everything much clearer to her, and she takes a far more literal interpretation of his words than he perhaps intended. *Can be read on my AO3 and FFN, links are in bio*

As she read the letter over, Laurel felt the walls holding up her life, her emotions, her very being tremble and start to cave in, just like the walls of CNRI only a couple short weeks ago had. And no one was coming to save her this time. Tommy was dead, and Oliver was gone.

She didn’t understand. Did he not want to be with her? After what happened with Tommy, maybe he shouldn’t. Maybe it was wrong, even if Tommy had left her weeks before. And yet Oliver was still professing his love in these paragraphs. Claiming he had to go so that she could save the city on her own. Didn’t he understand she wanted to do it with him? Just thinking of the struggles that awaited her alone now was enough to make her want to curl right back up in bed with some tissues and some kind of comfort food. Or wine. She deserved an early five o’clock for this, didn’t she?

And yet, there was one line in the letter giving her pause: You’re the hero, Laurel. There was an implied not me on the end of that sentence, and that was the thing she couldn’t quite figure out.

She had never called Oliver a hero. She loved him, faults and all, but she’d never been one to go overboard with the praise. She thought he’d had the potential to be something more if he just believed in himself, of course, but she hadn’t used the word hero.

She had called the Hood as much.

And suddenly, Laurel’s tears stopped. She couldn��t really be thinking again that he was — but really, what else made sense? The blame he seemed to carry for Tommy’s death, their sudden estrangement; Tommy must have learned the truth at some point. That was why his jealousy had suddenly boiled over, because Laurel had had a connection with the Hood that had seemed so familiar in a way she’d never been able to articulate.

Oliver surviving the attack at Queen Manor by that hitman after Taylor; his disappearance in the Verdant at the firefighter benefit, only for the Hood to show up; the way he’d acted in her apartment when the Triad attacked; that something he’d said that kept pulling him away. It was his double life, which he’d apparently decided to give up in the wake of the Undertaking.

The Hood hadn’t been seen since the quake, and she knew he’d made it out of CNRI alive. If he continued to fail to appear, that would only make sense if Oliver had gone and left the country.

The enormity of this realization had her rushing out of the door with her keys and racing to the airport in the vain hope that he might just still be waiting to board. She had to call Thea once it became clear she wasn’t going to get a look at the flight schedules for private planes. They told Thea that her brother had left just after dawn, which Thea related to her.

Laurel sank into a chair in the waiting area, head in her hands. What did she do now? Where was he going? He said he needed to do this alone, and part of her wanted to scream because didn’t he realize she needed him right now?

Laurel read over his letter again and again. He might come back someday. Was that someday dependent on the city being better? She’d have no way of enacting that kind of widespread change for years, which was how long it would take her to make it up the ranks of the DA’s office. Assuming she even landed that interview. The law just moved too slowly in their city.

But if she was the hero…

Laurel looked up. Could she really? The Hood had had to save her so many times. But Ollie was saying he thought she could be better than even him. Okay. Then that was what she’d do. If Oliver didn’t want her holding back, then she wasn’t about to disappoint.

---

Months later, Oliver reluctantly returned to Starling City at the insistence of his former teammates. His mother’s trial was coming up, and countless employees at Queen Consolidated were facing unemployment if Stellmoor International was successful in their acquisition. These were things he was willing to intercede on, if only because they required Oliver Queen and not the Hood.

When he insisted that he would not be returning to a vigilante lifestyle, Diggle and Felicity exchanged a look. “Well, you might not have to.”

He blinked. “Why not?”

“There’s someone new in town, Oliver. A woman,” Digg told him. “She showed up a couple months ago.”

“What do you mean ‘showed up’?”

“That’s when the police started noticing her, anyway,” Felicity took over. “She might have been active before, but their presence in the Glades is severely limited since the Undertaking, and that’s mostly where she’s been active. She’s a vigilante,” she added on.

“Has anyone been killed?” If this was another situation like the Savior, then it was his fault. He had brought this into his city.

But Digg shook his head. “Hospitalized, but no kill count. They’re likening her to a guy that was active in the Glades a decade or so ago. Uses her fists, mostly. It’s why she’s so low on the cops’ priority list.”

“Yeah, so you can sit on the bench for as long as you like,” Felicity remarked. Oliver frowned. “Unless, you know, you want to figure out who she is.”

They were both clearly confident this would sway him. Well, he had work to do as Oliver Queen before even thinking about looking into this woman.

First on the list was visiting Thea, who surprisingly had taken to running the Verdant in his absence. He couldn’t exactly judge her decision not to continue her education, and he was glad she was making something of herself in the way that she wanted. Less pleasing was her resolve not to visit their mother in prison, but Thea was refusing to budge.

They were interrupted by the arrival of her boyfriend, Roy Harper. “Oh, you’re back.”

“And you’re still here,” Oliver replied.

“And late,” Thea added. “Where have you been?”

“Sorry, boss,” Roy said with far too much cheek for Oliver’s liking. “Lost track of the time.”

His sister sighed. “Well, you’ve stopped getting into fights, so I can’t complain.” The couple shared a kiss, which Oliver decidedly looked away from. “Oh, don’t pretend to be grossed out.”

“I’m just giving you some privacy,” he insisted.

“Yeah? Why don’t you go see Laurel? She’s the one that told me you’d left in the first place.”

He looked down, guilt churning in his stomach both at his lack of goodbye to his sister and for his cowardice when it had come to leaving Laurel. He wanted to see her badly, but he had no idea how she might feel about it at this point. How could he explain that he hadn’t been able to stand facing her when knowing he was the reason their city was in ruins and their oldest friend was dead?

“Not sure where I’d find her.” He’d seen enough of the Glades on the drive here to know that CNRI still had to be rubble.

“There’s some fancy shindig the mayor’s holding tonight. She might be at that since she’s in the DA’s office,” Thea remarked.

“He’s not gonna get an invite in time. It’s starting in half an hour,” Roy spoke up. When Oliver and Thea both looked at him, he shrugged. “I watch the news.”

“I’ll see if I can find her there,” Oliver said. “You’d be surprised the kind of doors the Queen name opens.”

Diggle turned the radio up as they were heading back downtown. “Chaos as the mayor’s benefit has just been attacked by armed men calling themselves the Hoods.”

“What?” Oliver sat forward, his head poking into the front seat.

“They’ve been robbing banks, not sure what caused them to escalate.” Diggle glances back at him. “But they cover their faces and wear hoods in your honor.”

Oliver’s hands curled into fists around the leather seats.

“Minor injuries have been reported, with one of the perpetrators being captured after a run-in with the unknown female vigilante, who made a surprise appearance at the event as well.”

“Digg, step on it.” If Laurel was at that event with all of these varied dangerous elements in attendance, he needed to make certain she was alright.

But it turned out Laurel hadn’t been one of the guests, he learned when he arrived to find Detective — or Officer — Lance arguing with Lieutenant Pike while ADA Donner seemed to be trying to mediate.

“She’d been under the weather at work, so I suggested she take the night off. I’m glad it kept her out of all this, certainly.”

“Me too, since as your daughter is not present you have no reason to be at this scene, Officer Lance,” Pike stated with a glare. “Now get back to your beat.”

“Alright, I’m going!” Lance declared, marching in Oliver’s direction. He stopped when he caught sight of him and heaved a sigh as he shook his head. “Guess you’re here for the same reason I was.”

There was no point denying it. “Laurel’s safe?”

“Yeah. Suppose she would’ve been anyway, thanks to that woman. But, uh, you didn’t hear that from me.” Lance walked back out to his car and soon left.

Oliver lingered outside the building, pondering tonight’s events. The woman Digg and Felicity had said operated out of the Glades had come to stop the Hoods. Based on the one man they’d caught tonight, it seemed the Hoods might be from the Glades themselves, which perhaps explained her interest. It also meant she needed to have a pretty good source of information about what was happening in the Glades.

He walked around the side of the building, trying to determine which way she might have entered or made her escape. But as he walked further down the alley, he realized he was being watched. Oliver straightened up and looked around.

“Who’s there?”

A noise above had him squinting up into a fire escape. A figure in dark clothing hurried down the steps, jumping the last distance rather than using the ladder. She wore her hair long and blonde, almost platinum, and a nightstick hung from a belt at her side. Before Oliver could decide how to react, she rushed him.

“Hey!” He threw both hands up, figuring that was as believable a reaction for a billionaire, but all it seemingly did was leave him open for her hug. “Um.”

“I knew you’d come back.”

He knew that voice. And that smile, when she pulled back to give it to him. And that kiss…

Oliver pushed back on her shoulders, staring at her incredulously. “Laurel?”

“Not so loud,” she cautioned him. “Oh.” Laurel took off a black leather glove, licked at her thumb and leaned in to rub it over his mouth. “Didn’t know that brand smudged that bad. Could just be the color.”

“You- I— what is going on?”

“Exactly what you wanted. Come on, we can talk back at my place.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him along, and he was powerless to argue.

Mostly because he was trying to figure out just how this could in any way be what he’d wanted.

---

Laurel couldn’t believe he was back. She’d seen the car approach as she’d stayed hidden, listening to the police chatter and waiting for the right moment to slip away. Then Mr. Diggle has exited the limo and there he’d been.

Part of her was dying to ask where he’d gone all this time, what he’d done, if he’d worked through whatever he needed to and was here to stay for good. But she held all her questions as they snuck back to her downtown apartment and up the fire escape. Laurel went in through the window and waited for him to enter as well with ease before shutting and locking it again.

Laurel watched him look around at the mountain of blankets on her living room couch and several wadded up tissues on the coffee table.

“Neat, right? In case dad comes to check on my alibi with no warning,” she explained. “Speaking of, let me change.” She turned and went back to her bedroom, leaving the door open as she removed her wig and mask.

“Laurel, you- you’re a vigilante.”

“Yep.” She took out a makeup wipe and applied it liberally to her face. She really was going to have to ditch the black lipstick, even if it did better separate her from her usual colors of choice.

“And you’re okay with me knowing that because…?”

“Because you’re the Hood. Or were the Hood. You don’t have to lie again, I figured it out,” she said, taking off her undershirt and kicking off her boots. She pulled a rolling suitcase out from under the bed and started stuffing everything inside.

“How?”

She hadn’t anticipated him being so at a loss for words. Though when Laurel glanced back, she noticed Oliver’s eyes on her leather-clad backside and chalked some of it up to distraction. Smirking, she pulled her pants down as well.

“Your letter, where you confessed you didn’t think you were a hero.” Laurel covered the distance between them and raised her hand to his cheek. “Which you’re wrong about, but I understood you needing some time after everything that happened in the Glades. So I’ve been doing my best to fill in. Now that you’re back, maybe we can really make a difference instead of just keeping the city afloat.” She reached past him for her bathrobe hanging on the hook attached to her door, but he caught her arm.

“Laurel, when I wrote that, I wasn’t asking you to become a vigilante.”

“Then I’m not sure how you expected me to ‘be the best of you’. I don’t exactly have my own multibillion dollar company to run.” He still wasn’t smiling. Laurel sighed. “Ollie, what the Hood did last year for this city was more than anyone’s tried to do for a long time. You’re the reason anyone in the Glades even survived Merlyn’s attack. I know you feel like you failed, but you didn’t. Not anymore than the rest of this city failed its people.”

“I failed if it means I left you to pick up the pieces.” He shook his head. “You could be hurt or killed out there. If that had happened while I was gone—”

Laurel pulled out of his hold, folding her robe under one arm and walking back over to her bed. “What else was I supposed to do, Oliver? I wanted to do this with you, but I wasn’t going to stop and wait for you to come back. I’m not shutting myself off every time you decide to go anymore. This is my city, too.” She unclipped her bra and shrugged out of it, hearing him walk up behind her.

“What if I help you do this a different way? With the company, with the law.”

“The law’s not going to stop the rest of those Hoods. They’ll be desperate now that their one buddy’s been caught and could flip on them. I really don’t know what they’ll try next, but when I heard the mayor was their next target—”

“Where did you hear that?”

“I’ve got informants. None of them know who I really am.” If Roy Harper, for instance, realized the woman he was passing information to was his girlfriend’s straight-laced mentor, well, he’d probably think he was crazy.

“Give me their names. I can talk to them, handle it—”

She yanked her night shirt over her head and whirled to face him. “That’s not why I did this. I’m not a placeholder for you, Oliver. I’m in this with you, completely. Always have been, always will be.”

His expression turned pained. “And if you die? Laurel, what about Tommy?”

She closed her eyes. “I regret what happened to Tommy every day. But I can’t change the fact he went into that building any more than you could. And I can’t change that, even if he loved me, he was right. We weren’t going to last.” She looked him square in the eye. “Either I could have tried to respect what he did for me by living my life as carefully and quietly as I could while I slowly died inside, or I could honor what he did for me by paying it forward. I’m able to be out there helping people because of what he sacrificed for me. And the more people I save, the more that sacrifice means something. Isn’t that why you do what you do?”

He stared at her, long and hard, without a word. Whatever battle he was waging to find the words, he eventually lost, because instead he grabbed her face and smashed their lips together.

It was a hungry kiss. They were both a little angry, a little desperate, a little bit needing the relief of each other’s company. Her hands roamed up and down his back trying to anchor him, hold him down. His raked through her hair and ran up under her shirt, feeling her abs. Laurel gasped into his mouth when his hands roamed higher, and he stopped. They rested in place, foreheads bent together.

“Are we…?” Oliver looked so uncertain as he gazed into her eyes. Afraid and confused and so, so lost.

Come home, Laurel thought wildly. I left the light on for you. Instead, she snuck her own hands under her clothes and laid them over his. Holding him to her however long he’d let her. “Yes. Always.”

“And forever,” he agreed, covering her lips with his own once more. Laurel reached for his shoulders and jumped, not even needing the slightest boost from him to get her legs around his waist this time. It was a far shorter walk to the bed, too.

Tomorrow, they could navigate how this whole thing worked. In their public lives, in their nighttime personas. Tonight was just for them.

#lauriver #lauriverweek2020 #laurel lance #oliver queen #laurel x oliver #arrow #black canary #green arrow #my writing

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seesgood · 5 years ago

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POST SERIES / LEGACIES RELATIONSHIPS.

obviously, with the events of legacies happening and how tvd / to ended, there’s a huge impact on what kind of relationships all the characters have to one another. some of them i’ve headcanoned / written pretty extensively about in threads ( the twins, stefan’s memory, klaus, etc. ) but!! this is just gonna be a semi-extensive / semi-comprehensive list of where i see caroline’s emotions / relationships with the people who survived the great tvd / to charcter massacre of 2017/2018

alaric. as far as people from her past go, ric is obviously the one she keeps in contact with most because of the twins. they’re close, and they’re definitely like The Dream Team of supernatural dealings, but they have their issues as well. i don’t imagine he tells her the full brunt of everything happening at the school bc they both know she’d come back instantly and drop all merge-research on the spot if she thought there was a present danger to the twins. so as much as they lean on one another, there’s always a baseline level of lying that goes along with it. i also imagine they have a tendency to fight a lot and butt heads about certain things as well, especially regarding the girls, his attention to them vs the rest of the school / students ( hope ), how to go about lizzie’s illness, josie’s inability to let herself take priority, and anything going on with the school. she worries a lot about him drinking or doing too much without looking out for himself. and while the girls probably know they tried to romance route, it’s pretty obvious that for the most part, they’re a platonic pair. additionally: the twins know nothing about original-ric torturing caroline in season 3, or killing her father.

bonnie. as always, bonnie is her rock. they probably stay in contact a bunch, bonnie is the one she goes to for all magical advice and help and where to go / what to try to fix the merge situation. that being said, however, she very much respects bonnie’s need for privacy and separation from mystic falls. there’s probably always going to be a bit of a strain on their relationship because of the stefan / enzo thing, but it’s not something that ever gets too far in the middle of their relationship.

damon. strangely enough, damon is probably the person she calls / goes to when she needs someone to kinda...snap her back into gear? he’s definitely not one to put a positive spin on things, or sugar coat them. and while they’ll never be best friends, they share a weird closeness of “hey we both lost like 90% of the people we loved most and that sucks.” he’s the one she goes out with on the anniversary of stefan’s death or her mom’s death, and they probably just kinda sit in mutual silence and drink. any time there’s a change in something big at the salvatore school, she’ll probably ask him for his blessing as well, bc she does want everything to be done in stefan’s legacy and damon is the one that knew stefan best.

elena. still her best friend, still super close, but she also recognizes that elena probably wants to just go on and live a normal life and start a family and be happy after everything that happened and she respects that. she’ll definitely babysit elena’s kids and help her out when she’s studying for boards and tests and stuff, but she tries her hardest to keep her continued involvement within the supernatural world far, far away from the doppelganger.

freya. obviously this one is strictly headcanon based bc as far as canon showed, caroline has never met freya, nor knows of her existence. but! it doesn’t mean they’re not networked, and she’s probably called / texted at least once to see if she has any familiarity with gemini magic and if she knows anyone that’ll be able to help break the merge curse. additionally, she’ll keep freya in her speed dial in case something happens with hope and she thinks she needs a visit from a family member.

hope. the closest way to describe how she feels about hope is to say that she loves her like a daughter, but very much recognizes that hope is not her daughter and in no way has an interest in replacing hayley as a mother figure. nor would she ever try and step into that role. she recognizes and respects how important alaric is to hope, and she’s not going to try and step into that, but at the same time she’s also 150% there to support the tribrid in whatever she needs. whether it be someone to talk / vent to, someone who can tell her the non-history books versions of her parents / family, or who just kind’ve gets it.

jeremy. again, they probably don’t talk a whole lot just because she wants to respect his distance from the supernatural community, but at the same time...he’s the closest thing to a little brother she’s ever had so you bet your buttons she’s gonna be a little bit overbearing whenever he’s in town, trying to make sure he’s happy and okay and has everything he needs, etc.

josie. her literal rock that she “never has to worry about” and yet always worries about for that very reason. she’ll always carve out extra time for josie just to try and remind her that it’s okay to take the spotlight sometimes, and speak up for herself. she’s really, really protective of her and as much as she knows josie is usually fine, she knows that --- much like elena, and herself --- every soft and caring person has their breaking point and josie, at some point, is going to reach hers.

kai. if that guy ever sets foot within a hundred miles of the twins, she’s going to skewer him and roast him on a spit.

lizzie. definitely her mini-me, almost to a fault. it’s probably “obvious” to most people that she and lizzie are close, but i imagine they butt heads pretty often because lizzie has a tendency to make some very caroline choices and as much as caroline recognizes that, she’s also not a fan of it. suffice to say, she’s 100% sure liz forbes is rolling over in her grave laughing and proclaiming that karma is a bitch.

matt. honestly? they probably fall out of touch, which sucks, but also...matt definitely doesn’t seem to have any interest or desire to stick around supernatural creatures, and she definitely respects that.

penelope. oh boy, is...probably not a fan of josie’s ex? just out of solidarity? and as much as she appreciates there being someone out there that is 100% looking out for josie’s interests at all times and is 100% team josie she’s not a fan at all of penelope’s methods of tearing down lizzie in the process. not that she’ll ever explicitly show / state it, because she’s headmistress and supposed to be unbiased here, but...yeah.

rebekah. fucking fight me on this, i guarantee they’ve met up in paris at least once or twice to go shopping / drinking / dancing to just kind’ve like...retain a sense of normalcy. they still bicker a lot. they’ll literally never stop bickering. but at this point in her life, she’s probably too tired fighting other battles to keep pretending she entirely loathes the original. pls don’t crush my rebekoline friendship dreams.

#i probably forgot people #these are just the ones that most often come up in threads #ʜᴇʀᴇ ʟɪᴇs ᴄᴀʀᴏʟɪɴᴇ ғᴏʀʙᴇs ⸺ headcanon.

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standardlovers · 6 years ago

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Please, I need more headcanons! What is Grantaire like? How do they meet?

welcome to hell!!! first note is pls keep asking abt headcanons bc I have them all in this cute notebook & ready at all times

@exquisltecorpse said abt how enj does graffiti but with his 0 level artistic skills, it's usually just words, a call for the people to rise and R, our lovely lovely darling this ask is abt, makes a mural around it, using his extreme art skills to make it colourful and intriguing, which also catches enj's attention BC someone's working with his work and.... Helping?

but that's not how they meet, in fact this plot point is not revealed until After they've got together!

Grantaire is a sweetheart, he's very nice and he makes badly timed jokes and he's a bit of a mess but who Isn't ?

hes a classics major, art is more of a hobby for him and as much as he'd love to be an artist, that life is Hard and classics is so good to him! (from the course I found he would be studying history, literature, philosophy, languages & archeology for this classics lifestyle)

he meets enjolras through jehan!

jehan, good pal and genuine angel, introduces the two when they make plans that accidentally overlap with each and don't want to cancel so they just.... Invite both for the whole thing!

jehan ends up a bit of a third wheel in their flirting disguised as a debate on historical figures and cheating

which was mostly one saying 'i would NEVER cheat on a partner but [x] cheating has nothing to do with their politics!'

and the other saying 'i would never cheat either it's disgusting and their disloyalty to their partner speaks volumes of their characters, why would we trust someone to respect the people when they can't even respect the person they claim to love?'

Grantaire doesn't know about rebel teen enjolras, they meet when enj is 19 and moving forward, out of the closet, living happy and healthily, :))

after many more meet ups (not featuring jehan) where they flirt and pretend it's a debate

featuring subjects such as: why has communism been ineffective when put into practice before (for the last time, r. I'm a SOCIALIST!) and can it be argued that communism killed people when capitalism has been doing the exact same things it's just widespread and normalised (just LOOK at America, people are dying for so many reasons but when it comes down to it, their poverty is what's stopping them getting help!)

they start.... Dating!

which is amazing except neither of them really knows what to do, what changes, they basically started their friendship as a relationship bc they always liked each other, where do they go now?

and... I promise he wasn't trying to keep secrets. Enj just isn't used to having to tell people things BC Courf always knows already, he always sees it happen abt a mile ahead and catches enj up with the system

So courf and ferre are shocked to say the least when they see enj has a tiny picture of Grantaire in his wallet & oh wait it's also in his phone case.... The same guy is also his lockscreen, enj what's going on?

it's these pictures, (idk who's the 1st & 3rd are, I just googled them if they're yours lemme know and stuff for well deserved credit they're good pics)

and then, enj calls Grantaire at a weekly sleepover BC 'that text was just so Wrong I have to tell you with my voice that Maria Reynolds was not at fault, she holds the least blame out of anyone in the situation, second only to Eliza Hamilton!'

and courf and ferre can't just... Not say hello. That's rude!

So they lock enjolras in the bathroom so they can talk to Grantaire until they feel bad so they let him out and Grantaire is very offended that Enjolras would dare to POUT if he isn't there to see it

Courfeyrac sends pictures

This has mostly been enjoltaire but Grantaire in my headcanon is Amazing, I love him and Enjoltaire are dating before Les Amis De l'ABC is created :))

[ask me more abt these idiots]

[ask abt other characters]

#soy does les mis #grantaire #asks #jesvisfavrouche

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juju-on-that-yeet · 6 years ago

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What’s Apparent, Chapter 5

I’ll be honest, this one’s a wee bit heavy and existential. Yan’s got a lot of self-worth issues, so be careful reading if that stuff gets to you. But hey, worldbuilding! If you’re wondering how I think the egos work, look no further than here.

@spookyscarydarky I’m sorry I broke our boy, pls forgiv ;w;

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Read on AO3!

Yandere has always been unstable. He’s never pretended he wasn’t, and he’s never been ashamed of it, not really. He knows he’s not the only Iplier ego who’s a little sick in the head, and he’s well aware of his triggers. He’s familiar with the signs of an oncoming panic attack or violent episode, and he knows who to turn to when he can’t calm himself. He understands that his mind likes to play tricks on him, likes to tell him that the others secretly hate him, likes to tell him that he isn’t and never will be good enough. He knows that these thoughts are the source of his nightmares and breakdowns, even though they aren’t true. He knows all of this.

But he knows himself well enough by now to know that there’s more to his mind than those thoughts, that there’s a definable place that those thoughts stem from.

He’s not sure when he realized it. He recalls Dr. Iplier talking about getting to “the root” of an argument a while ago, and how he feels like he’s found the root of his own issue. But he thinks he figured it out before that day. It’s hard to know now.

The simple truth is that Yandere’s instability comes directly from his purpose.

Every figment, no matter how new or silly or unpopular, is created with a purpose. Whether their creator explicitly gives them one or it stems from their character, every figment has something that they were made to do. It’s what drives their personality, their wants and needs. It’s a huge part of what defines who they are. Yandere’s purpose has always been clear: Find his senpai, and then get his senpai to fall in love with him.

Finding his senpai was easy enough; he’d been in Ego Inc. for less than a day when he met Dark and knew he was the one. Getting his senpai to fall for him was a bit harder; Dark thought of Yandere as childish and a bit of a nuisance at first. Eventually, though, Dark warmed up to him and finally accepted him as his boyfriend, and Yandere couldn’t be happier to be with him. Dark is everything he ever wanted, and being his boyfriend is as great as he used to imagine it would be. It’s been months since they started their relationship and Yandere is still just as in love as he was at the beginning.

But.

What happens when a figment fulfills their purpose? Yandere knows that most figments have purposes that are much more open-ended, purposes that are permanently ongoing or take forever to come into fruition. But Yandere has fulfilled his only a year into his existence, and his mind scrambles for something to hold on to. For a reason to exist.

Because fulfilling one’s purpose is their life’s work. This is true of humans, too, as far as Yandere knows. If Yandere’s already completed his purpose, what more does he have to live for? What else is there to do?

He wasn’t designed to live beyond the happily ever after. The story is supposed to end there, not begin.

But Yandere’s mind, as irrational as it is, understands that giving him a perpetual existential crisis wouldn’t be productive. It would do no good for Yandere to feel like he’s done all he’s been put on earth to do.

So, it convinces him he’s not done yet.

Senpai’s only pretending to love you. He hates you twice as much as he did before you got together. You’re a valuable ally to him, but he doesn’t care about you. He just wants a yes-man, and that’s what you are. Look at him when he frowns, when his shell cracks, when he sighs or narrows his eyes. How do you know it isn’t your fault? How do you know he isn’t secretly mad at you? You’re too childish, you’re too immature, you aren’t strong enough or pretty enough or smart enough. You’re needy and clingy and irrational. You have to be better. You have to do better. You need to be good enough for him to love you.

There’s nothing Dark himself has done to make Yandere think these things. He’s been nothing less than a perfect gentleman to Yandere since they got together. He comforts Yandere when he’s upset, reassures him when he’s doubtful, and even when they argue, Dark always apologizes and makes it up to Yandere however he can. Objectively, Yandere knows that Dark loves him. His mind just refuses to recognize it.

Because if Dark loves him, then Yandere’s fulfilled his purpose, and there’s nothing left for him anymore. So he’s stuck trying to reason with his own broken mind, trying to force it to see reality while ignoring that reality’s implications. How can he possibly think rationally when he has to replace one form of cognitive dissonance with another?

Lately, the pressure is getting too intense. He can feel it starting to devour him whole, as each day wears on him a little more. His fits, when they happen, are more severe and last longer. Even when he’s stable, he can feel the bad thoughts pounding at the back of his mind. Now that he knows their cause, they’re ever harder to ignore. Does he deserve to exist? Does he deserve to be loved? The answer is both. Neither. Always. Never. Even through his lucid days, Yandere can feel it driving him mad. He fears that one day soon he might truly lose his mind and do something he’ll regret.

“Yan?” Dr. Iplier says, snapping Yandere out of his reverie. “You alright? You looked like you spaced out for a second there.”

“Oh,” Yandere mumbles, before plastering on a winning smile, “I’m fine, Shishi. Just daydreaming, you know.”

Yandere is in the clinic after his latest escapade in the city, in which he got into several fights. All things considered, his injuries are relatively minor. His most significant injury is the knife wound across his hand that Dr. Iplier is currently almost done stitching up. Yandere is more concentrated on his face, though, because it’s clear from his expression that he doesn’t quite buy Yandere’s smile.

“Are you sure, kid?” Dr. Iplier asks, “Come to think of it, you’ve…been acting a little less yourself lately.”

“What do you mean?” Yandere asks innocently. It’s hard enough to think about what’s going on in his mind; he can’t imagine talking about it. Besides, who would ever understand? No other figment has a purpose that wants to destroy them the way Yandere’s does. It’s his own secret shame, his own cross to bear. No one else can know about it, not unless he wants to give his self-hating thoughts more ammunition.

“You’ve been a lot more quiet, and more subdued, I guess is the word for it. You’re always so cheerful and energetic, but lately, it feels like you haven’t been. Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“I’m sure!”

“Yan, I think I ought to tell you…” Dr. Iplier sighs, pausing in his stitching. “Dark’s noticed, too. It isn’t just me.”

Yandere’s smile falters, but he manages to keep it from falling.

“O-oh?”

“He approached me about it a while ago,” Dr. Iplier explains, “He noticed you haven’t been as lively, and he wanted to know if you’d said anything to me.” He sighs. “I told him he should just talk to you about it, but clearly he didn’t. But I guess I don’t really blame him. He didn’t want to embarrass or upset you by bringing it up, or accuse you of anything if it turned out you were fine. I think, though,” Dr. Iplier admits, looking from Yandere’s hand to his face, “That Dark is right that something’s bothering you. I’d been suspicious even before he came to me, but after that, I was certain that something’s going on.”

Yandere says nothing as he processes everything he’s been told. Dark knew something was going on with him? Now that Yandere thinks of it, Dark has been treating him much more gently lately. He’s been more affectionate, more attentive, less likely to complain about him, even in a joking manner. Had it all been for Yandere’s benefit? How had he not noticed?

You’ve been acting so fake, but Senpai is still so kind to you. He’s been so patient and sweet and perfect, and you didn’t even notice. He deserves someone who’ll appreciate the things he does for them. He deserves someone better than you.

“I’m sorry to worry you both,” Yandere finally says, struggling to keep up a carefree tone, “But I promise I’m fine. Maybe I just haven’t been getting enough sleep or something!”

“Mm,” Dr. Iplier says, resuming stitching Yandere’s hand, “If you say so, kid. But, just…” He stops stitching again and looks back up at Yandere. “You know you can always talk to me, right? If anything’s ever wrong, you can come to me for advice or comfort or anything else. I won’t ever judge you or dismiss you, and I won’t tell anyone else about it unless you want me to.” Dr. Iplier’s expression is serious, but his eyes are shining with care and concern. “You can tell me anything, kiddo, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

Yandere can’t take Dr. Iplier’s warm tone and worried expression, and his smile finally crumbles.

“Shishi,” he whispers, as his eyes fill with tears, “Do you…do you ever wish your purpose was different?”

Dr. Iplier blinks, evidently not expecting such a question. He returns to his stitching as he thinks.

“I wouldn’t say so,” he eventually says, “It’s definitely tough to be a doctor. Even though I was made to be one, it’s hardly ever easy. There’s times when people won’t accept my help, or when I help them too late, or when I try to help them but do something wrong or misdiagnose them.” His expression turns wistful. “And, of course, there’s all the patients I’ve lost. All the egos that I couldn’t save. That all hurts, but…” He takes in a breath. “I think it’s worth it. Being a doctor is so rewarding when it goes right. I can’t imagine ever doing anything else.” He glances at Yandere. “Why do you ask?”

Yandere swallows, looking away.

“It’s…it’s hard to explain,” he mumbles.

Dr. Iplier nods sympathetically, but remains silent as Yandere gathers his thoughts. He’s finished stitching Yandere’s wound, so he gets up and walks a few feet to get gauze from a cabinet. It’s clear that he’s still listening, though, and still waiting for Yandere to speak.

“It’s, well…my purpose was always to find my senpai and get them to love me,” Yandere begins, “And I did it. I found Yami, and he fell in love with me, and it’s great. It’s perfect. But…”

“But?” Dr. Iplier prompts, grabbing gauze.

“But…it feels like…” Yandere sighs shakily. “It feels like it shouldn’t have been so easy. I mean, it wasn’t easy, I guess, but it didn’t take me that long. Your purpose is supposed to last you your whole life, right? But I’m already all done with mine. So sometimes, it feels like…” He sniffles as tears start to fall. “It feels like I’m not supposed to be here anymore.”

Dr. Iplier whips his head towards Yandere, shocked.

“Yan,” he murmurs.

“I-It’s not like I want to…like, die or anything!” Yandere cries, “I just…I just feel wrong, all the time. When you win a game you d-don’t just keep playing.” Yandere sniffles again. “But that’s only part of it.”

“What’s the other part?” Dr. Iplier asks, sitting down in front of Yandere again. He holds the gauze in a white-knuckled grip.

“It’s like my brain…it knows this is wrong,” Yandere whimpers, “So it tries to tell me that Yami doesn’t love me. Because if he doesn’t love me, th-then I haven’t fulfilled my purpose yet, right?” He flashes a bitter grin. “I-I know it’s not true, that Yami loves me, but it’s so hard to t-tell myself that. And if I accept that Yami loves me, th-then I have to deal with feeling like…like there’s n-nothing left for me to do with my life anymore. I-it just keeps going back and forth.” The tears are pouring down Yandere’s face now, and he’s struggling to stay coherent through his sobs. “It feels like I’m g-gonna explode, or g-go crazy, or something’s gonna h-happen and I’ll never be okay again! I don’t know what to do! I just…I have everything I ever wanted, a-and I can’t even enjoy it! I sh-should be happy! I want to be happy! I just want to be h-happy…” Yandere gives up on talking, burying his face in his hands and sobbing harshly.

“Oh, Yan,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, dropping the gauze to pull Yandere into a tight hug, “Shhhhh, shh-shh-shh, I’m so sorry, kiddo.” He strokes Yandere’s hair with one hand, smoothing back the unruly strands as Yandere wails and trembles in his arms. “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this. And you’ve been doing it all by yourself? You poor thing, shhhhh, I’m here, shhhhhhh…”

Yandere clutches onto Dr. Iplier’s lab coat, ignoring the protests of his injured hand. At some point he leaves his seat and curls up in Dr. Iplier’s lap. Or maybe Dr. Iplier gently pulled him there? Either way, Yandere stays there, face tucked into the doctor’s neck, trying to bury himself in the hug so he doesn’t have to feel the emptiness or despair. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he’s grateful it’s so late at night: No one’s awake to hear him sobbing but Dr. Iplier, who continues to whisper to him and stroke his hair as he holds Yandere in his lap. It takes a while, but Yandere does eventually cry himself out. He’s left exhausted and nearly asleep, and he expects Dr. Iplier to let him slip away completely and take him to bed. He’s done as much before when Yandere’s come to him with nightmares, and Yandere doubts there’s anything anyone can do about the wrongness in his mind. But instead, Dr. Iplier starts talking to him again.

“Yan, how come you never brought this up before?” he murmurs, one hand still in Yandere’s hair, “I can’t even imagine how much this must be weighing on you.”

“What’s the point?” Yandere says, quiet and tired, “It’s not like anyone can do anything about it. Figments aren’t…we’re not supposed to be like this.”

There’s a pause as Dr. Iplier considers.

“Can I tell you something, kid?” he asks. Yandere nods against his chest, so he continues: “There’s a lot of humans that have issues like that, too.”

Yandere looks up at that, slightly pulling away from Dr. Iplier in shock.

“But humans…” Yandere starts, “Humans aren’t…they aren’t just made with a set purpose.”

“Quite a few of them might disagree with you there,” Dr. Iplier says with a wink, “But in all seriousness, you’re mostly right. Humans aren’t born with their life’s goal in their mind like figments are. They have to find it themselves. And that sometimes causes problems.” Dr. Iplier smiles a little at Yandere’s confused expression. “For example, sometimes the thing they want to do is something they can’t get the skills or resources they need for it, no matter how hard they try. Sometimes they end up really good at something that they don’t want to do. Plenty of them don’t figure out what they want to do with their lives until they’re almost over. And some of them are like you.” Dr. Iplier playfully pokes Yandere’s nose, making Yandere scrunch up his face. “They accomplish in five years what they thought would take fifty, and end up feeling like they’ve peaked. That they’ve already done the best they could ever do, and that there’s nowhere to go but down. They might get sucked into perfectionism or just become depressed.”

“But,” Yandere puts in, “Those are humans. What does that have to do with us? With me?”

“Just because figments are made with a purpose,” Dr. Iplier explains, “Doesn’t mean that the purpose can’t be flawed. Humans are the ones who create and sustain figments, and an imperfect being can’t create a perfect one.”

“No other figment is like me,” Yandere mumbles, head drooping, “Nobody else’s purpose is like mine.”

“How do you know that?” Dr. Iplier asks. “You’ve hidden your struggle so well that it took this long for anyone to find out about it. If there’s another figment with a similar problem, then how would you ever know?” Dr. Iplier smiles gently as he takes Yandere’s chin and tilts his head back up. “All that to say that you aren’t alone, kiddo. There’s plenty of other figments, a few in this building, even, that have problems caused by their purpose.”

“R…really?” Yandere murmurs, eyes growing wide. “Who??”

“Well, I can’t tell you that right now,” Dr. Iplier says, “Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. But there’s egos here who have purposes that aren’t suited to their personality or skill set, or purposes that cause them stress or that they just plain don’t like.” He thinks for a moment. “I could possibly get them in touch with you, if you and them are okay with someone else knowing.”

Yandere spends a long moment considering. Could it be true? Is he really not the only one who feels like this? He can’t help but wonder who else is having problems with their purpose. It could be good to have someone to talk to, but he waited so long to say anything because he didn’t want to talk about it.

“I…I don’t know,” he mumbles.

“That’s alright; the offer is always there if you decide you want to,” Dr. Iplier assures him, “But in the meantime, we need to focus on getting your mind to a better place.”

“How?” Yandere asks. It still feels so impossible to him.

“Well,” Dr. Iplier begins, “When humans achieve their life’s goal too soon, they sometimes get stuck on it forever. But more often, they make a new goal for themselves. In a way, it’s a great thing for them. They can explore things they never considered doing, and try things that they’d passed up before. It opens up their whole world, and it’s up to them to decide what to do with it.” Dr. Iplier grins at Yandere and ruffles his hair. “We need to help you find another purpose and ingrain it in your mind.”

“Is that…possible?” Yandere asks, still worried, “And what would it be? And how–”

“Hey, hey,” Dr. Iplier soothes, “Trust me, it can be done. It won’t be easy or quick, but it’s absolutely possible.” He smiles at Yandere. “I don’t know what your next purpose would be; that’s something we can figure out together. It’ll be like therapy: We meet occasionally and talk about it, figure out what to do.”

“And if we do that…I’ll be okay again?” Yandere asks, hardly daring to hope.

“You will,” Dr. Iplier promises, “I’ll be honest and say that this is something you’ll probably always have to deal with, but it’s manageable. It’s like nearly any other mental illness: You won’t ever completely be rid of it, but there are ways for you to cope and live without it hanging over your head at every moment.”

Yandere had thought he was done crying, but his eyes tear up anew.

“I thought…” he whispers shakily, “I thought I’d have to suffer forever.”

Dr. Iplier pulls Yandere close again, holding him tight.

“You poor kid,” he murmurs, “I can’t imagine how you must’ve felt. But I’m here now, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you with this. You have my word.”

Yandere nods against Dr. Iplier’s chest, and surprises both the doctor and himself with a big yawn.

“Well then,” Dr. Iplier chuckles, “We’ll work out the details later when you aren’t so tired. I do still have to bandage your hand, though.”

“Yeah,” Yandere says, finding it hard to keep his eyes open.

He stays awake, though, thinking, as Dr. Iplier wraps his hand in gauze. As exhausted as he is from his day and his earlier tears, the gears in his mind won’t stop turning. He’s still astonished that he isn’t doomed to suffer from his faulty mind forever. He’s equally shocked that there are other egos around who feel like he does. Yandere had been so certain he was alone in this, and that no one could ever help him. But maybe, Yandere reasons, he should’ve known that Dr. Iplier could help him. The older ego seems to know everything, always saying the right thing and giving Yandere the right advice. As hard as it was to explain his problem, Yandere is looking forward to talking with Dr. Iplier in the future.

“Okay,” Dr. Iplier says as he tapes the gauze, “You’re all set. This should heal up in no time. And…” Dr. Iplier gives Yandere a meaningful look. “I really do hope you come back to talk soon.”

“I will,” Yandere promises, “I…thank you. Thank you so much, Shishi.”

Dr. Iplier smiles and ruffles Yandere’s hair.

“Anytime, kiddo,” he says warmly, “Now, go get some sleep. It’s late and you’ve had quite the night.”

“Okay, D–” Yandere starts, almost saying something else in addition, but stopping himself at the last moment. “Goodnight,” he says instead.

“Goodnight, Yan,” Dr. Iplier replies, still smiling kindly.

As Yandere walks to his room, his mind swirls not just with thoughts of the earlier conversation, but with the thought of what he almost said as well. How could he ever say it? Dr. Iplier is…a friend. A mentor, maybe. But he’s not…that. Even if Yandere wanted him to be (which he does, very much), there’s no way Dr. Iplier feels the same. He cares about him, sure, but he’s the group doctor. He cares about everyone. Yandere isn’t the youngest, most vulnerable, or most lovable ego in the building. Hell, he goes out every night and kills people for fun; how could Dr. Iplier ever…ever…love him like that?

Yandere eventually gets to his room, and somehow manages to fall asleep, despite everything.

#markiplier fanfiction #yandereplier #yanderiplier #dr. iplier #markiplier #fanfic #my writing #kristin says stuff #ohhhh yan you almost said the thing!!#not quite tho #he's still too nervous #doc: 'i care deeply about you and want you to be happy and healthy'#yan: 'i'm literally the worst i bet he doesn't even like me'#yan.....fam.......please

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realmzenith · 6 years ago

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elaina ! :)

lays down, mai ily. anyways?? someone pls save elaina she Needs help

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?fairly long?? but not super long it’d make her anxious. maybe twenty minutes. it’d be a different story if it was a life or death thing tho obv

How easy is it for your character to laugh?difficult. from one to ten w one being v easily she’s like a 7. but for full uninhibited laughter it’s a solid 9. she mostly smiles and when she does laugh it’s at the dumbest things

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)she’ll lurk on instagram or think which are honestly both bad ideas for her bc instagram makes her depressed bc her social life sux and thinking makes her depressed bc she’s pessimistic and tends to overthink EVERYTHINg. however sometimes she’ll be smart abt it and read a book or look at plant pics or space which will more often than not successfully allow her to relax and get some shut eye

How easy is it to earn their trust?HM not too difficult prbly a 3 if ur nice to her and ur not a complete idiot- ok well. just if ur nice to her bc she literally falls in love w josie an idiot in her storyline

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?moderately difficult she has a hard time accepting that the ppl she trusts are capable of wronging her and usually assumes it was smth she did. she’s kind of an idiot like that so yk :) she’s prbly a 6 on that one? if we’re also accounting for the ppl she moderately trusts. however if we’re only talking abt the ppl she genuinely completely trusts it’s like an 8. she’s not COMPLETELy stupid but still p stupid abt relationships

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules should be followed. she accepts them as a given and that they will be followed as a given. it’ll srsly throw off her game if someone starts blatantly disobeying the law in front of her even if it is just a nominal thing

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?she’s not a v emotional person? she does feel deeply but hmm i suppose she is fairly nostalgic. certain melodies played on the guitar would prbly be one of the bigger triggers. her mom used to play and she and her dad would sing like dorks but they?? kind of dont do it anymore and she misses it but she isn’t sure how to ask to do it again. it’s the same w disney movies. they don’t watch them as a fam as much as they used to anymore but they still do on occasion! as for enjoying it she doesn’t rlly like nostalgia?? but she lets herself fall into it frequently

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?she was constantly told to talk to the other kids. she’s never been v social or good w ppl as she prefers her small group of ppl she knows and is comfortable w plus she’s an only child so she’s always been forced to socialize esp in casual settings

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?not super frequently. she does say damn bc that’s just the classic xstj swear word, her first she remembers v distinctly. it was “bitch” and completely her older cousin’s fault

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?she lowkey feels like her entire life is a lie? she’s a smart gal and gets good grades easily. she’s close to the top of her class and is considered one of the smart kids. but she herself is convinced she’s painfully mediocre and despite her other talents and unique personality traits she’s like :) im sorry for lying to u all i actually have zero interesting qualities and am a drag but ofc she never voices that bc lbr insecurity? ugly and she doesn’t want to lose the few friends she does have bc she dumped her fears on everyone else. she is, as i said, a Mess

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?she almost always pretends she understands but if she doesn’t feel like there’ll be negative consequences to asking for clarification and she’s feeling confident she’ll bluntly ask the other person to clear things up for her esp in a business type setting such as school projects, etc. it’s situational but socially speaking? she’ll pretend until she Dies

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?ask nico to get it or just struggle for ages to try to get it herself

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?she likes green and black but thinks she looks p drab in most things. in all actuality she prbly does look sharpest in black but yellow makes her look super cute, brings out a softer side of her. dark green is also flattering on her

What animal do they fear most?hm prbly eels esp electric eels. they freak her out for no particular reason. otherwise, she likes most animals and doesn’t mind most bugs

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?she does usually think before she speaks. on the extreme she’ll turn over a phrase abt ten times in her mind before even considering speaking it aloud but that’s rare and only in high stress situations. despite the fact that she does think before she speaks she’s very blunt abt most things. lay it out like it is and all. embellishing sentences or softening her statements is smth she rarely does as she finds it inefficient

What makes their stomach turn?reckless behavior she HATES when ppl do stupid risky crap in front of her she finds it very unnecessary and anxiety inducing

Are they easily embarrassed?oh yes absolutely

What embarrasses them?everything. anything. her existence. ppl flirting w her. her parents. being teased. being incompetent. being singled out for anything. lots of things :)

What is their favorite number?she likes the number 60. no reason in particular it’s just a nice number. cue her friend, nico in the back yelling SIXTY???? MORE LIKE SEXY

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?oh oof dont talk to her about love it throws her for an existential crisis. hm but if srsly asked this she’d prbly say smth like “familial love is smth we’re rarely allowed to choose. platonic is more logical and circumstantial, and romantic is a combination of the two in the sense that it’s ur heart’s choice to begin and ur mind’s to continue.”

Why do they get up in the morning? society dictates that in order for an individual to contribute meaningfully to the world, you must get up by 7 am and do whatever lot’s been handed to you. thus she, as a good functioning member of society, gets up in the mornings and drives to school day in and day out as fate has dictated her duty to be

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? erratic. she’ll act strangely and become more distant. if it continues for long enough she’ll eventually snap at whoever’s nearest and asking what’s up w her

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? it makes her sad tbh sldkfjlkj she’s like welp.. this is the lot i’ve been given if i don’t accept it that’s my problem. then she keeps her head up and carries on

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? she prefers not to talk abt sex. she’d be v confused if someone brought up the topic of sex casually tho she isn’t SUPER squeamish abt discussing it it’s just?? unprofessional so why would u? ofc w her s/o she would be more than willing to discuss it in order to smooth out questions or misunderstandings before yk. actually. doing the sex

What are their thoughts on marriage? marriage to her is one of the pillars of society, and while she respects people who don’t want to get married, for herself she views it a checkbox on her list of things she needs to do before she dies. it’s?? like she sort of has a timeline and marriage is on the list of things that need to happen sometime in her twenties. she believes marriage should be a mutually beneficial union based on love and respect and believes that along w family units it’s a wonderful invention. however, despite all of this she kind of doubts she’ll ever get married bc she’s like who would date me lbr here :) and while simultaneously seeking after marriage she’s resigned herself to becoming an eventual crazy old cat lady

What is their preferred mode of transportation? she prefers bullet trains. efficient, usually comfortable, she doesn’t have to drive- what more could you want? she’s also fond of walking if a place is close by. helps her chill

What causes them to feel dread? the feeling that a relationship is falling apart and the divide between herself and the other person is growing. the little things like not waiting for the other person after class or “forgetting” to mention another thing about their day- the small things that point to a relationship breaking down. if there’s one thing she hates more than unnecessary conflict and having to just end things then and there it’s watching things slowly fall apart. that is extremely dread inducing in her opinion

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? if u asked her? she’d say she prefers the truth. in reality? she prefers the lie. she internalizes things and oftentimes “unpleasant truths” can weigh her down for ages. frequently enough to note, she’ll allow herself to continue in ignorance rather than accept the reality of the truth which she’ll sort of know she’s doing but just push to the back of her mind in order to avoid the panic that comes with actually confronting the problem. ignorance is bliss and all. nevertheless, in the long run and in hindsight, she prefers the truth as ripping off the bandaid proves easier than pulling out misplaced stitches one by one

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? she doesn’t come close. she has very lofty ideals to which she holds both herself and others around her. she wants to be someone who’s looked up to as strong. she values efficiency, honesty, reliability and genuinely good motives as well as charisma, passion and confidence. she’s doing alright with the first few but the last three are debatable. she’s passionate about v select things and her confidence levels looks like a heartrate monitor

Who do they most regret meeting? herself. she regrets gaining sentience

Who are they the most glad to have met? josie ;) but nico and ale are close seconds

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? nope what’s a Conversation? what’s a Joke? she doesnt know them :)

Could they be considered lazy? that’s a no. she works extremely hard and nearly always carries through. it’s partially her nature and partially a way for her to “make up” for her perceived lack of talents

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? extremely difficult but w time she eventually can esp when given the right type of support

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s. a hard one. she IS technically supportive but that’s only when she recognizes how much the thing means to the other person and she’s honestly rlly bad at reading these kinds of situations, so it’s rare that she actually does. she’ll kinda be like wtf but if she doesn’t recognize the other person is genuinely excited and invested in the thing she’ll do her best to give her own brand of awkward support

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?she’ll pursue a romantic interest if enough proof that it’s plausible is given but it’s rare that she gets enough “proof” for this to happen. generally speaking, she kind of pushes her desire for romance down. she’ll worry abt it later or at least until josie shows up eyes emoji

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? not rlly? she’ll just go thru things multiple times she’s not the most innovative person when it comes to things like this. route memorization is her go to

What memory do they revisit the most often?;) depends on where in the storyline we’re talking but post story defo the time when she and josie went hiking w some of their other friends and when they reached the summit of the mountain the clouds were beneath the peak n completely coating the sky. it looked like a carpet of clouds, like another world and they shared a bit of a Moment. the little things are what elaina rlly cherishes

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?difficult she’s a bit of a critical person. she’s also not the most tactful when it comes to emotional intelligence related situations so ppl will likely find out she does see those flaws in them if they stick around long enough

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?not SO much but she does take things to heart. she’s sort of?? accepted her perceived mediocrity and general dullness but she’s in no way ceasing to attempt to change other things abt herself. so she’ll seemingly take criticisms in stride but they’ll stick w her when she’s Overthinking

How do they feel about children? kids are? good? she likes kids. as for having them, she’s considered it some and she thinks she might like to. at the same time, she also thinks she’d make a terrible parent- too harsh, bad w comfort, easily stressed. in all reality, she’d be better than most ppl as one esp after gaining a bit of confidence

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? rn the goal is graduating and she wants that fairly badly but she doesn’t particularly doubt her ability to achieve it. after that, it’s getting a good job which she also doesn’t overtly doubt as a certainty so yes she does want it but it’s not?? SUPEr concerning except when she begins to doubt her abilities and if she’ll ever feel like her life is fulfilling

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? she’s lesbian. she’d say it means she’s attracted to women

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?baby. she’s gonna find loveB) What inspired you to create them?love, simon! i wanted to write a cute lesbian high school romance so thus josie and elaina were bornC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope!D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?nope again! she used to be full korean but now she’s half korean and half scandinavian! i think she used to be taller too she’s 5′5″ nowE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?there are some aspects of each other that would get on the other’s nerves. like i dont think she’d appreciate the wonky outbursts i sometimes have and i’d get annoyed by her lack of social tact/annoyance at the world even tho i lowkey share those traits but otherwise i think we’d get along p well! i think i’d find her cute and i think she’d like my perceived confidence. we share a similar rationality as wellF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?empathy she’s a big mood tbh and also i want her to be happy G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?her lack of emotional intelligence. while i like blunt and logic oriented ppl it’d get slightly frustrating after a while to be around someone who’s a lil oblivious to social/emotional cues even if that’s a moodH) What trait do you admire most?her humble diligence. i have to complain twice as much as her to get half the things she gets done doneI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?i think she’d ALSO do great in a sci fi universe. ha maybe i need to give these kids a sci fi au verseJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly no!

#defenestrata #SFsldkjflskfj GOSH she sounds so depressing in this #i swear she's actually not this depressing #usually #i mean she's just got low self esteem ??#anyways i lov mai thanks for comign to my ted talk #elaina #triad #my ocs

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just-shaladin-things · 7 years ago

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(1/4) confession: i hate l@nce. hate him. so much. he's such an asshole! like i get the writers are going for 'wannabe casanova' but what they've got is a boy that only is insta 'nice' to hot women (in the mermaid episode he was like :/ to the squid head girl until she took it off and was totes hot at which point he immediately did a 180 to ;D), hits on literally everything resembling female, and doesn't take no for an answer. like, a//ura made it pretty clear she's not interested in L@nce.

(2/4) But he keeps flirting with her at very bad moments, despite her being annoyed with it, and tries to police her actions at one point??? (when her at Ke!th run off together he flips shit on her and tries to do an interrogation if anything happened like thats any of his fucking business). Literally the only girls he’s not weird about is P1dge and his mother. It’s fucked him over so many times! N!ma and the mermaids both should have been massive red flags, but he never changes!(¾) Not once does he connect the dots and think hmm maybe there’s a connection -NEVERMIND HOT GIRL. He’s completely oblivious from moral and logical standpoints. I hate it and I hate him. No amount of homesickness and insecurity is gonna make him likeable until he pulls his head out of his ass. Or at least gets called out by someone instead of being told ‘not now’ mid emergency. He doesn’t give a shit about them! That one mermaid girl he was hitting on, she died! Mid episode!(4/4) And L@nce didn’t even ask hey, where did she vanish too is she okay? He didn’t give a single fuck about the missing girl he’d been hitting on literally a day ago, he was too busy with the NEW pretty mermaid girl and the hot mermaid queen! I hate him, I hate how the writers handle him, and he needs to get called the fuck out by someone soon. Preferably A//ura. Or P!dge. Or Sh!ro. Thank you for hearing of my rage.

ok i was about to go to sleep but since its the l@nce ask i decided to wait a bit, because uhhh, welp he’s important to me and he’s probably the only reason why i still watch this show lfdkjgkf im going to try and be as, well, as objective and logical as i can so please bear with me also im sorry i cant really salt with you here. like, i partially salt with you but not entirely since, you know, l@nce stan thing and all that. okay anyway, here we go and it probs gonna be long so im really, really sorry or something. also also before i Really start i want to thank hd, jo and ciel bcos brainstorming with them was a top notch way to figure out what i want to say fldkgj

im gonna start with the flirting thing first in general, then move to @llura, then to other instances you brought up then to lance himself, just so we have some outline here okay? okay. so here i go:

the flirting thingy - i get why it bugs you and it bugs me too, especially with @llura. writers definitely overuse it and use it as a comedic device (not working but shhh). on the other side, aside from @llura (which im going to talk about more in a sec, pls be patient with me, pls) girls usually don’t react negatively to it? pl@xum literally kissed him on the cheek, aliens at the mall and on that first planet in s3 laughed and generally it seemed to be rather innocent if annoying because of how often it was portrayed. the flirting alone isn’t really bad, considering his insecurities and strive for attention its not surprising that he does it and its never a serious thing. and most of the team reacts with just groaning and rolling their eyes, no one ever told him, 100% seriously and definitely, to stop. the thing is, writers portray his flirting in a really shitty way (like most things, jesus christ) 90% of the time??? which brings us to the next point here:

@llura or rather how her and l@nces relationship was portrayed so far. now theres no denying it that the part where he keeps on flirting with her and she keeps turning him down and so on is, well, pure shit and we all want (or rather wanted it considering how he dropped the act in s3) it to stop. while it doesnt make it okay, its still important to note that he never really seems to be 100% serious with his pick up lines and it looks like he uses it as a way to lighten up the mood (cue him using them in, well, not really appropriate moments). and while we’re at it, lance hardly ever opposed to any of her orders (aside from the time when he and hunk argued with the rest of the team about coming back home but, like, can you really blame them for that?). also the thing that you brought up, him flipping his shit out when she left with keith was completely justified??? she and k/eith literally left without any notice??? when they were constantly followed by galra and there was a war going on???? of course he was worried out of his mind, who wouldnt! and when she was captured by the gala he was one of the people who wanted to go and save her. like, you cant really say he doesnt give a shit about her. its further proved by how he acted in s3? he completely dropped his flirting with her, never acted angry when she was chosen to be the blue paladin, he even said he was happy that it was her specifically! when sh!ro came back he never asked @llura to step down either, he thought she was better suited to do it than him he constantly checked if she was feeling alright in blue and we could see how much their relationship improved in this season. i would go as far as to say that they actually became a p good friends.

now, onto the other instances you mentioned:

pl@xum - here its kinda tricky tbh, on one side, yeah, its not really okay that he started to be all over the moon for her after she took of the squid, on the other hand he knew her for, like, a day at best?? its not really enough time to fall in love with personality itself (especially considering how much happened during that time?) and you cant really tell that being attracted by someones good looks is something bad? it was portrayed in shitty way but then again, its more of writers fault. and while we’re at it, even if he wasnt interested in her romantically, he never disrespected her??? he took her seriously after she and her group explained what they did and why they did it and helped her free her planet.

fl/rona - okay i seriously dont know why you brought up this? he had maybe one convo with her and during it or right after he was literally drugged with poisoned alien food, then he got kidnapped, stung by a squid and had to fight and save the entire kingdom. he probably thought she was in the palace or somewhere in their village? with so much happening of course it could slip his mind.

ny/a - well, im not really sure how to approach this one but im gonna try. yes, l/nce going after her was reckless and not his best moment but also?? literally everyone on the team except for h/nk seemed to trust them? and n/ma not only reciprocated/pretended to reciprocate but also played at his insecurities (aka pulling the “if you wont then im sure k/th aka the boy that you consider ur rival aka the boy that is one of the sources of ur insecurities will take me to his lion). and lance maybe has a strategical mind and works good on missions and in the heat of a moment but? he’s also an insecure teenager and teens tend to do reckless things when they want to impress someone. plus, lance generally seems to be rather trusting? hes not as guarded as, lets say, k/eith, hes thrives on social interaction and likes meeting new people. you can see it in the way he wanted to hang out with p/idge in the garrison even though she probs always turned him and h/nk down or how he was able to confide in coran despite knowing him for week at best or in how quick he was to play around and take selfies with complete strangers from the planet he just helped save in s3 and how well he worked with blade of m/rmora in same ep. hes quick to trust and become friends, which makes him an easy target for people like n/ma but overall isnt really a bad trait.

all in all, lance is a very, very complex character and cant really be judged only basing on his flirting. hes much more than that. and while i understand where you’re coming from i cant really agree with you fully. the way his flirting is portrayed is shitty but hes not a bad person at all.

sorry its so long btw, im just,,, kinda passionate dl

#mod riem #just anon things #answerstetique #me: i have to get up early so i better go to sleep now #also me: writes an entire meta about my fav at midnight

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marietudors · 7 years ago

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STILL STAR-CROSSED: Episode 3 — LiveBlog

So heeeeeeeeey, everyone. I was watching the new episode of Still Star-Crossed and thought it might be interesting to share with all of you my views and notes of the whole thing. I’m totally addicted to this tv show and anyone who feel the same way is very welcome to send me an ask or message so we can discuss it, i’ll be glad to answer it! English is not my mother tongue so I apologize in advance for any mistake and ask you to take it easy and let me know what’s wrong. Here we go...

Rosaline: I was just telling your sister how happy I am to be betrothed to Benvolio. Isabella: You were?

LMAO. I have to start saying how much I love Isabella, i’m 100% her stan and her friendship with Rosaline is my favorite brotp so far on the series. I really hope they continue to develop it and give us more scenes like that. Isa could help Ros to tease Escalus or give her advices on Benvolio? It would be so nice, pls give it to me!

Rosaline: He’s quite... Witty... And handsome.

Btw, her face as she was saying it and Isabella’s teasing smile after seeing her brother jealous was princeless and absolutely made up for a week without episode.

Silvestro Capulet: Twenty thousand? You mock me! Damiano Montague: Twenty thousand ducats are no mockery.

Lord Capulet and Lord Montague act like two bickering children around each other while arguing and Escalus and Isabella are the two annoyed parents trying to make them made up. Also, Montague’s face of 100% not buying Capulet’s story was the best along with the “don’t spend it all in one place”, lol.

Rosaline: I could ask the Montague to pay your bride price as well as mine. Livia: Will he do that? Is he kind? Rosaline: No... Maybe... I don’t know.

HER FACE HERE IS AMAZING, OMG. She’s so done with this shit, I love her! Anyway, this scene was so nice. The way it made her think about Benvolio’s character was awesome and done so naturally. She was very quick in saying “no!” and then was like “well, now that i’m thinking about it... No, i don’t wanna think about it” af. I also love the relationship of Rosaline and Livia and will protect them both at all costs, they truly care about each other and will do anything for the happiness of one another. Plus, Livia’s reaction with the letter was myself about Rosvolio. I loved they put Shakespeare stuff in this, so thoughtful. And, guys, I wasn’t the only one who see that tiny little smile on Rosaline’s face in the end of the scene, right?

Benvolio: You sent her a sonet?

His indignated tone was so... I don’t know, kinda cute? “What she’ll think of me now? OMFG, what do I do?” It’s like when your friend talk about you to the guy you have a crush on and end up embarassing u. And Lord Montague ordered someone to shout the sonet out of a rooftop, lmao. He’s totally the captain of Rosvolio and you can’t convince me otherwise. Lastly, say what you will, but he casually pointing a crossbow in front of Benvolio was sexy af. I know, I have a problem.

The thing is: this episode I ended up liking Damiano far more than I liked Silvestro and in the others episodes was quite the opposite, really. I guess it was because of the ghost plot which I find kinda boring and pointless (?) If they wanna deal with his guilt of killing a man, it could’ve done much better in a more realistic way. At the same time, it remind me of King Uther and his sorcery problems, #merlin feels.

A minute of silence for my heart that is breaking, i’m sobbing. My poor child. My boor babe, I wanna hold him. So beautiful the way they develop Ben’s character this episode. He’s irresponsable, yes. And likes to party, too. But... Guys. He lost his parents and his friends, all he has left is an uncle who doesn’t like him much and doesn’t give a shit about his happiness. The way he was around that girl tho... It seems like there’s feeling in there? I was surprised when she turned up again this week and maybe we’ll see more of her? I just hope it doesn’t turn into a triangle, pls this is not CW.

Rosaline: I hope you can attend our wedding as well, I count the hours until that fair day. Benvolio: Me too. I truly am a lucky man.

Benvolio really listens to Rosaline, that is sooo cute. He keeps every word she speaks. The nun thing and even her teases: “here was I thinking you were counting the hours”, I need a parallel right now! They faking-dating was so funny and sweet, my favorite part of the whole episode and i’m so down with this ship.

Escalus: Let the man talk first, sister. There’s plenty of time for gossip for the dinner table.

That was really unnecessary, Escalus! And very, very rude. I mean... He spat at her bc of his jealousy on Rosvolio? Seriously?! Isabella is far more capable than Escalus when it comes at politics, justice and ruling Verona as a whole. She would be a much better choice to rule than him and is his most honest supporter! Instead of recognizing it, he treated her as a spoiled useless little princess when she was only trying to drive attention away from two people who are going for a harsh time pretending to be lovebirds in front of three embassadors who are looking for any sign of weakness to send a letter warning their masters to bring war.

I was so mad about it, but I couldn’t help to notice how attentive and smart Lord Montague is. He saw an opportunity and soon made a plan to put it on practice, he was absolutely my favorite this episode and my aesthetic is the smile on Isabelle’s face and feeling useful after what that mooron did to her. I only cannot deny that i’m also worried that it could turn her on a real enemy of her brother. He didn’t just treat her less than she is once, but twice and in a single episode. She tried to help the people and save a man’s live while Escalus acted as she was a damsel in distress and send her back to the castle against her will.

Lord Montague: You are far more like your father than the Prince is, you appreciate detail. (...) You see the treads. Princess Isabella: Do you think flattery will blind me? (...) I have no need of men and their sons, but... I would support a fresco of a female saint. Catherine, perhaps. Or Margaret. Lord Montague: Who slayed the dragon. Princess Isabella: As an inspiration to Verona’s woman.

Count Paris: But if i’m to fall in love, I think I prefer to know the woman i’m falling in love with. Livia: I may be a servant. But... Paris, i’m still a lady.

First thing: HOLY SHIT, I’M COMPLETELY ON BOARD WITH THIS SHIP. Paris is so goddamn charming and reminds me so much of Torrance’s character in Reign, Bash: always putting his life at risk and a truly piece of cake, one I very much would like to eat. This moment between them was so sweet and we almost had a kiss already. Maybe it’s going a little bit too fast for my taste, but i’m buying it. We were so blessed this week, really. Although, I have a feeling that a lot of angst is coming and i’m so not ready for it just yet.

I saw some people’s theories about Paris and I have to admit that is possible, but hopefully he’ll still be my bae in the end of the day. I mean... Even with her refusal he remained very lovely with her and their hug + his concern in the last scene of them seemed very genuine and caring. The only thing that concerns me is that Livia is already thinking about marriage? “I can find a husband here” and I kinda felt like she was speaking of Paris there? I think perhaps she can be a little disappointed for getting her hopes too high like this.

One thing that I find interesting is that Capulet’s colors are always light ones like blue and grey when Montague’s are more darker with red and black. It’s a very pleasing to see on screen and it’s a great contrast. If anyone could gif or edit me the scene from a far or something like it, I would be really grateful.

Rosaline: Greetings, my love. I’m sorry.

Benvolio: Me too.

Alright, the way they apologize to one another... They are completely in the same boat here and they finally see that, i’m so pleased they passed the “it’s all your fault” thing. It was the highlight of the episode to me, I think this is the place they can build their trust. One thing that bothered me a little was the way Ben was looking to that bloodie during the whole thing. They have a story or what? It made a good contrast with Rosaline and Escalus looking at each other tho.

I knew something was coming up, but I didn’t expect a bomb to drop in the middle of the vows. Dawn, I wanted she at least had the chance to finished first. But I loved the way Benvolio didn’t have to think twice to push her out of danger. They were on a chase and didn’t even bother to untie their hands... LMAO.

Finally... The couple that murder together stays together™ and the way Ben looked at her when she was staring at the dead men... He tried to reassure her that he deserved it and his eyes got so soft, you could see that he wanted to confort her and at the same time he admired her kindness.

Benvolio: With our families united...

Rosaline: There will be no reason for us to marry.

Benvolio: And here I thought you were counting the hours.

That conspiratous smile... Obviously someone is trying to stop the union between the houses and is clearly neither Capulet nor Montague or even the Royal House, my guess is that the treat come from someone outside Verona... Maybe Venice? Or Paris’ family? Escalus and Isabella let it pretty clear that they are treatned by their neighbourhood in EVERY episode and whoever is it the plan is getting people close to the both families to do the dirty work. I’m really excited to see Rosvolio team up to find the guilty one in order to get rid of the marriage; and fall in love in the process.

#marietudors watches ssc #still star-crossed #rosvolio #ssc spoilers

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kennothythebard · 7 years ago

Text

Things I’ve learned about writing DEH characters

THIS IS NOT A GUIDE BY ANY MEANS THIS IS JUST SOME OBSERVATIONS AND THINGS I DO.

So while researching for and writing “A Worthy Explanation” (pls read i crave validation) I’ve noticed a lot of little things that I don’t always see mentioned in writing guides for these characters so I thought I’d point some of these out. Idk how love this is going to be so I’ll prolly put a cut here.

General

I like to create kind of a “loneliness chart” and graph the kids on it (looks kinda like those political alignment things). On one axis theres introverted vs. extroverted, and on the other theres like polite vs. rude I guess? But in summary: Evan is introverted polite, Jared is extroverted rude, Alana is extroverted polite, Connor is introverted rude, and Zoe... is just kinda generally lonely. Where she falls really depends on what’s going on with her (but she typically is a less extreme introverted rude than Connor).

Obviously each character has their own faults, but I often see these faults viewed quite selectively, see “cinnamon roll evan” and “fucking larry” for two very different examples of this phenomenon. Evan is not perfect and always trying to be nice, and Larry is not a super abusive parent who deserves no happiness in this life. They’re both complex and it’s hard to let go of our misconceptions to write truer to the characters (e.g. I really, Really don’t like Larry. I see him as a lousy father who just kind of chose to be “the strict one” but does nothing but criticize and dole out punishment, ignoring his kids any other time), but that’s an important part of deh, is that people aren’t always what we perceive them to be.

Evan

Evan is often viewed as like a cinnamon roll, but in act 2 especially Evan gets mean. Like, he’s dismissive and rude and angry and just a jerk. Evan can be just as bad if not worse than some of the “angrier” characters

Ppl often talk about his lying as his biggest character flaw, but I’d argue that most of the lying we see in the show just stems from the one lie which he was kinda forced to make bc he was in a bad place (i mean, thats pretty much the entire point of awe).

The character flaw that I don’t see discussed enough is that he’s ashamed of his mental illness. He’d rather pretend it’s not there, even when it impacts every part of his life. He doesn’t do the letters the way his therapist assigned them, he’s apprehensive towards medication and stops taking it, and basically feeds into his self-destructive tendencies, arguing his mother sees his as “broke” or something to be fixed.

Jared

I love writing Jared

There’s already a lot about what a complex character he is and stage directions, but one thing that most people notice is his actions frequently contradict his words. Take the sincerely me reprise at the start of act 2. Why would he try to insert himself into the narrative at this point? What good would that do at this point? When evan dismisses him he gets annoyed and defensive. He says that he can’t do anything until Monday because he’s hanging with his camp friends (whom he claims are his “real friends,” a term he will later ascribe to himself regarding Evan in Good For You), and when Evan dismisses him again he tries to offer to help with the kickstarter, but is quickly shot down once more by Evan. Despite what seems to be a natural ending place in the conversation, he insists on continuing to talk with Evan, and when Evan cuts him off again he becomes rude and slightly threatening. This happens over the course of maybe three minutes and it’s one of the most insightful scenes to jared’s character

When writing a canon-compliant Jared, his actions and thoughts should conflict with his words. He cares about Evan but he’d never say that out loud (in more canon-compliant fics), and it hurts when he’s pushed away, which he responds to with anger.

Zoe

Zoe is one of the most difficult characters to write, imo.

She’s often portrayed in a slightly sweeter, saccharine way in fanon as just like a fun, silly girl who is just a tad sarcastic, but really you can tell that she’s Connor’s brother. She’s angry, blunt, unafraid of speaking her mind, etc. Yes, she is funny and kinda sarcastic, but her sarcasm isn’t always of the funny variety. She’s obviously angry at her parents, but this often comes across as a “doesn’t love them” variety of anger when her real feelings seem to be much more complex.

Basically, I’m still learning a lot about writing her but I think just like the other kids she’s a little lonely, so Evan comes along and he’s there and that’s enough for her. She has such a wide range of emotions that I don’t feel are always accurately represented, even by me. (especially by me)

Alana

Hella, hella lonely. Covers it up by talking to people and doing extracurriculars. Sure, “college apps” is her excuse for why she does so much, but it’s not the real reason. If she keeps busy, she doesn’t have to be alone with her thoughts. But at the same time she has similar fears to Evan about people seeing the worst of her. “Close acquaintances” seems to be a statement about how little she makes friends, but I also see it as a defense mechanism. If she remains “close acquaintances” with people, she’ll never have to be their friend and they’ll never have to see the worst of her.

She’s cheerful and annoying, but in the way that pisses high schoolers off. Like, we all knew that one kid who was just way way too nice, and most of us were like “yeah ok they’re pretty cool i guess” but like some people just hated their positivity. It also doesn’t help that she tries to insert herself in situations she hasn’t been invited in, and does some questionable things to help her accomplish her goals. (Evan/Alana contrast: Evan does questionable things to accomplish internal goals, Alana does them to accomplish external goals)

Gets easily distracted. Forgets to sign Evan’s cast in scene 1. Her mind has a million different thoughts at any given moment. It wouldn’t be out of line to headcanon ADHD Alana (some of the things she does reminds me of the things I do when I forget my meds).

Connor

?????

We don’t see a lot to really get a huge insight into his personality. We know he was angry and had some serious mental illness.

We also know that he could recognize when he went too far and would go out of his way to make amends. (Why was he in the computer lab? Why did he sign Evan’s cast?) He may recognize a kindred spirit in Evan.

Clearly he doesnt hate his family (he goes to school despite not wanting to go, and seeing Zoe’s name is what sets him off showing possible concern), and it would not surprise me to learn that he thought his family would be better and happier without him. He clearly has intense emotions and reactions even to things that might seem minuscule or inconsequential. When writing him in canon, I think of a rubber band stretched too tight, and any characters action could loosen or tighten the pulling.

Heidi

Such an emotional character, I nearly break my own heart when I’m trying to writer her.

Theres two odd kind of paradoxes in a parent-child relationship like that between Heidi and Evan. For Heidi, the paradox is that the more she wants to do for Evan, the less she can actually be there for him. For Evan, he wants his mother to succeed and loves her so much that he might even encourage her to not worry about him or spend time with him, but then resents that she’s never there. Or at least when he meets a mother who can provide and be there.

Heidi pretty much worries herself sick over Evan. Evan comes before everything else in her life, and so it’s easy for her to feel like she failed him, which is a huge reason for her intense reaction in Good for you: evan has just confirmed her fears that she’s failed him.

Heidi tries so hard, but she isn’t perfect. She’s clearly very sensitive about money or about Evan’s father, and this sensitivity can easily change to anger or passive-aggressiveness. She has deep insecurities that we may never see or fully comprehend.

Cynthia

Mom. like shes completely a mom. like, “can i speak to your manager?” type mom.

Loves her kids and tries to be supportive but struggles communicating with two very headstrong, sarcastic kids

she probably wouldn’t say this, but takes connor’s death very personally. wonders why he would do this to her

Is desperate for her children to listen and understand her. Which Evan is more than willing to do.

A little bit selfish? Like, thinks about what will make her better rather than accepting everybody grieves differently

Larry

Fucking larry. I don’t like him and he’s the hardest character for me to write.

Ok since I made such a big deal about it in the intro i’ll try to be nicer than id normally be

A masculine archetype. Sports dad, wants sports son, which Connor isn’t

He’s got some really ableist/misogynistic tendencies that causes the intense demonization of him in the fanon but I mean... he could be worse i guess? (that’s literally the best i can say about that so yeah i dont like him at all)

Really just oblivious. Completely ignored Connor’s need for help, does not know how to read a room, you could say he frequently has a foot in his mouth if it weren’t so intentional.

I mean...probably a good guy if you can get past all that stuff? just really, really self absorbed.

yikes that was long. Again, not really a guide, just some things I think about when writing these characters. if you read this far at all thank you for indulging me this much.

#deh #deh writing #dear evan hansen #like i said not really a guide but just some things i think about

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georgeluz · 8 years ago

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hey:) for the ask thing, im about 5'5, i have long wavy light brown hair and big brown eyes w olive skin. my myers briggs is campaigner&my star sign is a cancer! i'm kinda built (?) bc i do competitive sport, i play lotta instruments, and im v social. i have adhd yikes and anxiety YIKES but it's chill lol, sometimes that does get in the way though. for the fandom, BoB would be great:) also ya u are a legend i didn't mean another word for champ i deadass just meant legend. thanks ❣

NO MORE PLS.

Wow. But… if I were… a legend… I would’ve gotten this done FOREVER AGAOAUHDFgrihEJADF. I’m so SORRY. Babe. But to make it up to you, this blurb is fucking LONG. @v-esperteen

The Character I See You As: Buck Compton. HIGHLY SOCIAL? SPORTS? ANXIOUS? You got yourself a recipe for BUCK COMPTON. Aka the wonderful, sweet lil sunshine that loves literally everyone and makes everyone feel so comfortable and relaxed (and sometimes not relaxed depending on how boisterous he gets). I love him because even though he has all of these amazing qualities, he is independent to a fault (daring to argue with Winters I scream he’s–), highly emotional (losing his friends literally KILLED HIM) and anxious (though he hides it well behind his EVERYTHING IS FINE face or his dead inside face).

Your Three Best Friends: Don Malarkey, Alex Penkala, Skip Muck (aka the squad)

The One You Don’t Get Along With: Henry Jones. Sweet, sweet Henry. It’s no one’s fault, but he’s so composed and so put together that you honestly don’t know what to do with him. Try and joke with him? He just stares at you (maybe smiles pitifully). Try and initiate conversation? Part of you burns because he takes himself so damn seriously and you decide never to try that again lmao. You like him… you just don’t know what to do with him and him with you, so you just stay out of each other’s hair.

Who I Ship You With: Shifty Powers. The ENFP plus the shy, cute, unassuming, but also incredibly brave and intelligent Shifty Powers? HELLO HOW FREAKING ADORA- I digress. Shifty is wonderful because he’s mellow and gentle, gets embarrassed easily if you try and shower him with affection, but somehow keeps cool in the middle of combat, never gets injured, etc. His name is Shifty for a reason, one minute he’s there and the next you’re like ?? hello ?? Shifty? ANYWAY. I love him a lot. He’s like the least anxious person. Whenever you have your anxious moments he’s there to cuddle you and tell you in his sweet lil accent that everything is gonna be just fine (dont mind me im crying).

Wildcard: Captain. 2nd Battalion Staff S-3. 101st Airborne.

Lil Blurb??: Your charisma got you here. Your athleticism, sharp wit, ability to make solid decisions under pressure, and aptitude for route planning got you here. You were a valuable assistant to Colonel Strayer. Your gender also got you here: pouring coffee for him at 6:30 in the morning, tapping your foot with a bright smile on your face. You pretended it was fine that you were reduced to such menial tasks. You knew it was too good to be true that you would be used for much after being moved from the WAAC to the 101st. You had trained hard with a handful of women to handle the difficulties of battle–you would never see combat, but you would get as close as any woman ever had.

But that still meant making coffee for all of the men, pouring it, and often being left out of discussions. You kept reminding yourself that it was insane that you were here, in England, part of the planning for D-Day. You wouldn’t get to drop though, not like the boys. Knowing that crushed you, not because you particularly wanted to see combat and death, but because you had grown so close to the everyone. To be left behind was cruel. You were a favorite on Easy Company’s sports teams. It was Buck Compton that had used his charms to sway you into joining their soccer game. You were just as uneasy as the men, but once the game started, it was like you’d been playing with them forever.

Malarkey, Penkala, Muck, you, Compton, and Luz versus Guarnere, Toye, Heffron, Talbert, and Skinny Sisk. It was the most fun you’d ever had, throwing elbows and repeatedly trying to trip Tab (who kept throwing hands and swearing he was just going easy on you). You even managed to get a laugh out of Toye, something you hadn’t accomplished before. You patted yourself on the back for that one. But damn, it would hurt to be cut from the friends you’d made. You had brothers. These boys were like your brothers now, far from home, keeping you company in the daylight.

But, despite those boys being the group you had become so close with so quickly, it was the charming Southerner that caught your attention right off the bat. Powers was all broad shoulders passed down from generation to generation; he was meant to hold a gun, you could tell by the way he cradled his rifle against his arm. It was like an extension of himself, but that wasn’t the only thing you admired about the unassuming Shifty. He was a hell of a shot, probably the best in the company, but he was about as quiet, humble, and bashful as they came. And you thrived on making him blush.

First it was through subtle compliments when you caught him alone, without Tab or Skinny by his side. You would sit while Shifty cleaned his rifle, admiring his perfect form when shooting or suggesting he was the best you’d ever seen. You didn’t push him, you read him well enough to know he was easily made uncomfortable. You asked him about home, about his favorite gun, about the squirrels he used to shoot up in Virginia. Shifty would smile fondly at you, then his shoes, and lean back against the wall or the back of his chair, tipping his head back and squinting his eyes. He always took his time talking–he was deliberate. You loved that about him. When you sat with him it was like time stopped for just a sweet moment, like the anxieties and the frustration that fluttered in the back of your mind stopped.

One night, after sharing a drink or two, you both wandered into the nearby cow pasture and he told you about the farm he grew up on. “I did always like cows the most,” he murmured, running his hands along the dew-ridden grass, the other hand rubbing his jaw. “Big eyes, big ears.” He trailed off, screwing up his nose, trying to think of other reasons why he liked them so much. “Well I suppose they never did want nothing bad for nobody,” he finished with a short nod, drawing both hands behind him to lean on. “Chickens were too cranky, and the horses were too smart for me. I almost got kicked once. My daddy almost lost it, started hollerin’ about how I needed to stop sneakin’ up on ‘em. I was too quiet.”

You, yourself, had never been so quiet in your life. You were laying on your side, fingers threaded through the grass beside Shifty’s hand. You wanted nothing more than to keep listening, to drink his words in, to know him from the inside out, but he stopped and furrowed his brow. “You know, I never tried cow tippin’ before.” You looked up through your eyelashes, face flushed from the alcohol that still burned in the back of your throat.

“What do we do, huh, Powers? Do we just run at them?” You had never done it before either. It sounded just like something a boy from Virginia would want to do.

“S’pose so, I never thought about it.”

“Wanna do it?”

“No, I don’t think that would be very kind,” he replied, sliding back down until his head hit the ground. He rolled onto his side and blinked up at you, a crooked smile gracing his features. “I’m too tired to run anyway.”

“Mmhm,” was your defeated reply, still propped up on your elbow, hovering over him. You felt a little tired too, buzzed, slipping down until your face was right beside his. You laughed. He laughed a little too, but he also looked like a deer caught in headlights. You weren’t one for personal space, at least not with people you enjoyed being around, and you hadn’t thought that it might be pushing it for him to be so close.

“Never kissed anyone neither,” Shifty murmured after a moment. You tilted your head slightly, leaning back.

“Really?”

“I didn’t play football. I didn’t live in town. I don’t think I had a lot goin’ for me. Bad luck.”

You quirked a brow. Your heart was hammering against your chest. You weren’t supposed to being doing this with an enlisted man. You were his superior, and the reason most had objected to women in the military was for this damn reason exactly. “Why did you bring that up, Shifty?” You were just antagonizing him now.

He was silent for a moment, searching your gaze for any emotion other than drunken amusement. “Well, Y/N, I-I rightly think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. I was just thinkin’ that. I’m sorry–” He broke off, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was thinkin’ I wouldn’t mind kissin’ you.”

“Well, Shifty Powers, I don’t know what those girls back in Virginia were thinking,” you chuckled, reaching to grab the fabric of his shirt. “I must do my civic duty after all, send you off to war right,” you murmur before planting one on him, gentle, careful, trying not to spook him. This was real, you reminded yourself. And it would be gone soon, so you’d best enjoy it while it lasted. He draped his arm over your waist, pulling you in close, the other hand supporting your cheek.

Shifty was a quick learner, you found, and you also discovered it would be very, very difficult to reverse what you’d done. After that night, discreet as you tried to be, he nearly gave it all away with his puppy eyes and his silent begging. And you were a sucker, running off with him to the fields and pastures whenever you could under the cover of darkness to romp, wrestle, play, and kiss a little before he and the rest of the men were dropped over Normandy.

#v-esperteen #ask #ask game

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