#Plots Against Saul

[shiurkoma]

Take: chaotic evil Yehonatan, in which he knew David is meant to replace him and his father from the very start.

TLDR: Yehonatan is as, if not more likely to be the abuser in their relationship because it is plain unfair to overlook how humongous their power gap is, and he is abused enough to be at least a little unhinged in his noggins.

Warning: dead dove do not eat. Im going to entertain an idea where Yehonatan is definitely not a good person. If you have a problem with that, or have issue reading fictional underage abuse and emotional manipulation, please stop reading. Finally, nothing about this is meant to be serious interpretation of the original text, it's all plain headcanoning for fanfiction.

(For the record, i seriously do not consider David (even close to being) a morally good individual in any possible sense of the word. It doesn't make any of this ok tho)

Some fanfics i've seen paint the davinatan ship as a manipulative one, with david being the seducter that manipulates Yehonatan into simping for him, only to discard him after David achieved his goals. Even outside of fanfictions, i know of people who view Yehonatan as a tragic victim. While i appreciate David's more malicious side being acknowledged, and agree with it more than depicting them simply and benignly loving eachother(tho i appreciate that too), I can't help but think how both protrayal down plays just how utterly creepy yehonatan's part in the relationship is.

Like, Yehonatan, a middle aged man with wives and kids, went ahead and basically stripped in front of a teen the first night they met then gave him some really personal and valuable gifts. If thats not a red flag i don't know what is.

Yehonatan is someone you do not want to cross, maybe even more so than Saul.

It is easy to forget that, holding the title of eldest son and legal heir to the throne comes with immense pressure, responsibility and danger, and dealing with all that takes more than just a thick backbone. With a deranged father as king, people around him are constantly plotting to take the throne for themselves. All bets are off in the war for the throne, even if Yehonatan doesn't actually want to be king, his competitors (which includes but not limited to his entire family) wouldn't rest until he is dead. He isn't in a position where he can just back off: it isn't unheard of that princes and kings renounce their positions, retire, and end up getting assassinated or executed anyway. Because king or not, they are still legitimate heirs to the throne and therefore a potential threat.

Basically, Yehonatan lives in a situation where he simply cannot afford to show weakness or hesitation, not to his subordinates, not to his brothers, not to his father, not to anyone. What doesn't kill you makes you dangerous, and Yehonatan is deadly in that sense.

(But its not to say all that didn't take a toll on his mental wellbeing. Yehonatan has no business being mentally ok. He watched his father ascend to the throne, watched as Saul sunk further towards insanity, and had to endure his often psychotic abuse for years. I don't believe one bit that he isn't depressed and at least a little messed up, especially in a time where mental illnesses aren't even acknowledged yet.)

To sum it up, as a weathered crown prince, Yehonatan would logically be a person who is reasonably paranoid, moderately ruthless, extremely strong willed and more than competently intuitive about the motives and intentions of people around him.

David on the other hand (at the start of their relationship anyway) had no prior experience mingling with politics, no ties in the palace, was never regarded with importance by his father or brothers (meaning he had zero exposure and no one ever invested in him), young and inexperienced (meaning vulnerable to manipulation), stands no chance against Yehonatan if he were to play mind games on him.

David could pull an Esther on Yehonatan. But keep in mind Esther and a lot of other femme fatal spies in history had ties that helped pull strings from the outside, they are often not the master mind either. David had himself, and practically nothing else.

This is why Yehonatan helping him matters so much. Useing weak willed and easily manipulated individuals only works for you if you are already a powerful dictator. If you have absolutely nothing you need powerful allys.

The most straightforward option for dark Yehonatan is just to kick the creep element up ten notchs. David tries to seduce Yehonatan, then immediately realises he bit off more than he could chew: he is just too possessive to be controlled. Yehonatan in this scenario probably somewhat resembles that purple creep from Tokyo ghoul, entertaining while the shock value lasts, but after that it gets pretty shallow. I hate this approach tbh.

Or, him seeing David that day was Yehonatan's last straw(what i doodled basically). He stops giving a sh*t about everything, and thought since he is so "in love" he might as well groom and sodomize David. Its a petty way of getting back at God for making him fall for the boy, and for making his life miserable in general.

He uses his charms and presents himself as a saintly figure to appeal to David's more religious side, then proceeds to not only make sure that David is emotionally dependent on him(i won't elaborate how but its easier than you think), but also plans to make it so that if he dies it will f*ck David in the head. He enjoys this, because for once in his life he feels a "real" sense of control, albeit a twisted and perverted one.

(Maybe he will feel shame and regret eventually, but thats another talk for another day.)

I'll borrow my friend's comment to sum up the take: "a broken abused individual perpetuating a cycle of abuse to an ambitions sociopathic twink, each making the other worse just through being together." Another reason i prefer this version of dark Yehonatan is cuz it restores some agency Yehonatan desperate lacks.

Strayed quite far from his canon image with my shameless slandering but yeah that's about it. For now. Might explore David's pov in this later.

[depressopax]

Distraction | Nacho Varga Scenario

Fandom - Better call Saul

Pairing: Nacho Varga x female reader Genre: Pure smut, no plot tbh  Warning(s): Sexual content. MDNI. Fem!reader. Sub!Nacho+Domme!Reader, oral (both receiving), p in v, cussing, praise kink, rough sex. Spanish nicknames (correct me if I got something wrong!) Words: 1.9K (oop-) Summary: Reader helps their boyfriend Nacho relax after an eventful day at work.  English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3

|| AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ||

“You sure you’re ok?”

You ask your boyfriend, who’s been quiet all night after work. You’re in bed together but he seems lost in thoughts. He doesn’t like talking about work and you don’t pressure him into it. You know what he does is dangerous, which means you’re always worried for him. But especially tonight, when he barely has uttered a word to you. 

“Hey…” You say, gently grabbing his chin and tilting his head to look at you. His warm brown eyes meet yours when he wakes him up from his trance. He grabs your wrist and moves your hand from his chin to his cheek. He sighs and leans into your touch as you caress his cheek, feeling his stubble tickle the palm of it. “Nacho?”

“Hmmm? Yea, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” 

“I…” He is about to reply with a snarky comment, but seeing the genuine worry in your eyes makes his face soften. “Rough day.”

“What happened?”

“Tuco being fuckin’ insane, as usual.” His voice is bitter.

“You wanna talk about it?”

You’re not surprised when he shakes his head. 

“No. I need some distraction.” 

You smirk at this and he grabs your shoulder and lays you down on top of him. His rough hands travel down your back and squeeze your ass. He looks very smug as you moan.

“Hmm, what kind of distraction?” 

“Don’t play games with me.” He growls, desperately reaching for your lips. But you feel like playing games so you pull away and he stares at you in disbelief. 

“You gonna beg for it?” He rolls his eyes in response, his face turning red. 

“Don’t be a brat.” He warns. 

Nacho is used to being the one in charge, but you feel like stirring the pot a bit. 

Still laying over him, you move your legs on each side of his hips. You straddle over him and then, at last, meet his lips. You can feel his smirk against your lips and it’s like he’s waiting to take charge. Not tonight. He parts his soft lips slightly and you slip your tongue into his mouth, taking control of it. You find yourselves in a sloppy makeout session and only pull away to breathe before going back in. Nacho grunts and buckles his hips up, trying to push you off and change positions. Usually, he would succeed but he is too into the kisses to care. Your hands travel to the hem of his white shirt and your boyfriend gasps as your cold fingers dance over his warm skin, stroking his hard muscles up and down. He involuntarily squirms as your hands roam over his chest, causing his nipples to harden under your cold palm.

“Your hands are always so damn cold.” He murmurs but doesn’t really seem bothered by it right now. 

Nacho's face is turning red and his chest heaves along with his ragged breathing. 

Impatiently he helps you toss the shirt aside and quickly works on your shirt. He almost rips it open in anticipation and you let him take control momentarily. But when he sits up to undo the bra, you simply push him down in bed again and squeeze your legs tighter around him to keep him in place. You rub yourself against him only to feel the bulge in his jeans brush against your ass. With one swift motion you get rid of your pants, letting them join the shirts on the floor. You’re already wet from anticipation. Nacho’s hands grips your asscheek and carefully moves you down a bit only to make you feel his erection against the thin fabric of the panties as his way of saying: Look what you’re doing to me. 

He finally seems more relaxed and his face is hot and red from arousal. With his fingers rubbing your clit through the wetness of the panties, he says:

“Please…” The voice is surprisingly soft with a hint of desperation. 

“‘Please’ what…?” 

“...Please, touch me.”

“Why should I?” You say in a soft voice, unzipping his jeans and rubbing the wet spot on his boxers. He lets out a moan. “Why?”

“I-” He swallows. “Fuck… I’ll do anything.”

“...Anything?” 

He nods and with a chuckle you help him off with the boxers. He almost sighs in relief as you free his boner, allowing it to stand free and proudly. His swollen tip is already leaking from excitement and his breathing is heavier now. You give him a few strokes only to stop as he grows more excited. 

With a grin, you lick your palm, tasting the bitterness of him. His eyes almost roll back from the sight. With eyes on him and his reactions you undo the bra and toss it over the other clothes. Nacho’s gaze hungrily wanders your body, paying extra close attention to your breasts, wanting nothing more but to squeeze and kiss them.

“You’re killing me…” He whispers and reaches out his hands to touch you. You pull him into a quick, desperate kiss before turning around. Still being on top of him, you straddle on top, your dripping pussy right above his face whilst you face his throbbing cock. He wastes no second before digging in, grabbing your ass and pushing your sex against his face. You let out a loud moan as his warm mouth attacks your most sensitive parts. You stroke his neglected cock a few times before teasing the already swollen tip by kissing it and swirling your tongue on it. He moans against your pussy and jerks into your mouth, causing you to gag slightly as he hits the back of your throat. 

He mumbles a “Sorry” before going back to eating you out. 

It doesn’t take long before Nacho cums, coating your tongue with salty, warm fluids. Only shortly after him you climax too. It usually takes longer, but his skilled tongue and eager mouth makes it hard to hold back. You almost scream his name as he rapidly flickers his tongue against your clit and stretches you with his thick fingers. You cover his face with your juices when done. 

“Fuck… You’re amazing” He pants, his lips red and swollen as he sucks in a desperate breath and tastes the juices covering his chin.

“I’m not done with you yet.” You say firmly, surprising the both of you with the authority and determination in your voice. He nods eagerly. Your legs shake and the inner thighs coated in your own wetness as you once again straddle him. This time he doesn’t fight back. Your boyfriend is in pure bliss right now, staring at you in admiration, as if you were a goddess for him to worship. 

After jerking him hard and rolling the condom in place, you grab the base of his dick, guiding yourself down on it, the thickness stretching you out. Moaning in union, Nacho grabs onto your hips in desperation. You slap his hand away and start moving, once again moaning in union, the pleasure and heat rising in the bedroom. You grab his wrists and pin his arms above the headboard. He cusses in Spanish as you completely take control, leaving him no choice but to lay still and let you use him however you want. The idea frustrates yet turns him on. You move quicker and harder and Nacho bites his lip to muffle a moan. Your grip on his wrists tightens.

“Moan for me”“N-no.” He seems ashamed over his stutters. You suddenly stop moving and Nacho's eyes widen. He shakes his head. “Mi reina… Don’t fucking stop now”

“Will you be a good boy?”

“Yes…” A whimper leaves his lips and he swallows hard, sweat dripping down his forehead. His cock twitches inside of you and he tries to keep some composure. 

“I’ll be a good boy, I’ll be a good boy…” He breathes hoarsely.  

Those whimpers are enough to give him what he wants. 

You move roughly, causing the both of you discomfort and pleasure at the same time. Nacho’s in pure heaven and moans your name and squirms underneath you. At this point he doesn’t care about how he sounds or what he does. He wants to be pathetic for you, he wants to be completely submissive to you and have you use his dick for your own pleasure. 

He whimpers every time you tease him by slowing down right before his climax, keeping him on edge. You keep him from cumming until he’s shaking from frustration.

“Mi reina… P-please…”

You leave more hickeys on his sensitive, bruised throat and he can only lift his head to give you better access to his sweet spots. He’s desperate for any type of contact, especially more of those lovemarks you’ve left on his throat, shoulders, chest and thighs. 

He’s totally submissive for you right now, and would never dare admit just how much he loves it. 

“How long have I tortured you for, pretty boy?”

“For too long… Please, amor…” 

His arms have been free from your grip for a long time ago, but they’ve fallen limp to his sides, too weak and lost in pleasure to remember touching you, up until now. As you continue riding his cock, he rubs his thumb over your clit lazily in an attempt to convince you to end the teasing right now. You too are on edge, but you’re having too fun teasing him. Your walls clench around him as you get closer to an orgasm.

“You can cum, Ignacio” You murmur and lean in to hug him, deepening the penetration. “Cum for me, good boy.”

He is eager to obey. With his fingers digging into your back, he moans and whimpers loudly as he cums, finally letting go of the built-up tension. He releases a thick load into the condom and shivers from pleasure. You’re not far behind with your own orgasm that wettens the sheets underneath your intertwined bodies. 

Afterwards, you keep holding each other, coming down from the high together. He goes soft inside of you and pulls out as you collapse on bed next to Nacho. Your body feels like jelly when you relax next to your beautiful but exhausted boyfriend. He turns to his side and strokes your cheeks lovingly, his brown eyes capturing and memorizing your beauty. He looks at you so softly it almost makes you blush. He smiles at you.

“You’re amazing, you know that right?”

“I know.” You tease.

“Good. Because you fuckin’ are.” 

He pulls you close and places a kiss on your warm, sweaty forehead. 

“Remember what you were so tense about earlier?”

“Nah. You fucked me good.” He says with a grin.

“And I’d do it again”

He nods, keen to the idea of being slutted out by you again. It feels like all his anxieties and stress is gone, if only momentarily, from letting you ride him and leave marks on his skin. 

“Come here.” Nacho murmurs. Your boyfriend pulls you close, hugging you against his muscular chest as he sighs contentedly, feeling good for the first time in a while. 

Relaxed and satisfied, it doesn’t take him long to fall asleep with his strong arms wrapped around you. 

That night, he doesn’t wake up in distress, nor does he have nightmares. His body feels sore yet relaxed, and his dreams are filled with you, and your healing touch.

I NEED THIS MFING MAN IN MY LIFE- 😩💕 If you liked this story, feel free to repost, like or comment! Would mean a lot <3

[eros-thanatos89]

meta/thoughts on BCS

Oh, man. I've never posted meta, or just thoughts on shows before, but I'm trying to give myself permission to be as cringe as I want and to ramble on the internet about the fictional things that I think way too much about. So here goes, my first meta post!

I just rewatched BCS S5E3 "The Guy For This" (let's be real: mostly for thirsty reasons, because I wanted to see Lalo and Nacho looking pretty in the garage scene with Saul) and Goddamn, it just smacked me in the face and reminded me what a pivotal episode it is in so many ways.

One of the many recurring themes that I love to see explored so well in both Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul is the many ways that people deal with (or don't) the consequences of their actions, and this episode is just chock full of that, as well as setting up the first steps down the "bad choice road" or the road ahead for so many characters.

In that garage, Saul really steps into Saul as we know him in Breaking Bad. By taking Lalo's money (even if under duress) he's taking the first step into leaving Jimmy behind and becoming the *criminal lawyer* we all love/love to hate. Jimmy's pattern of avoiding the consequences of his actions or uncomfortable emotions like the guilt over Chuck's disgrace and death is running away: by escaping into his scams, and by literally running away from himself, choosing a new identity--he's not Jimmy anymore; he's Saul, so he doesn't have to lug around Jimmy's baggage. And even though he tries to backtrack from this first step onto the bad choice road leading to him becoming "un amigo del cartel", when he tries to suggest that Lalo find another lawyer, it's too late. As Nacho tells him, "When you're in, you're in."

And Nacho would know! Speaking of running away, Nacho has been trying to evade or escape his problems for so long: first by setting up Tuco to avoid having his side hustle with Pryce discovered, and in this episode, trying to convince his Papa to run away with him to Canada. The scene where Manuel confronts Nacho at his house never fails to break my heart. Nacho is so desperate for Manuel to escape with him to a new, safe life, and Manuel is so adamant that Nacho face up to the consequences of his choices. Which ultimately, he has no choice but to do. He has to confront what he's done and give himself up to save his Papa's life, just like Manuel encouraged him to do so long ago. But by giving up his life rather than turning himself in to the police. It's so damn tragic.

And then there's Kim. She's always running away from the poverty and instability of her past by so doggedly pursuing success as a lawyer. I love how this episode highlights her increasing dissatisfaction with Mesa Verde and her yearning to pursue more meaningful pro-bono work so she can use the law to help people like the little, powerless girl she used to be. The confrontation between her and Mr. Acker is stellar. Kim has this rare moment of vulnerability, letting down her walls to share a story of her childhood struggles with Mr. Acker in a genuine attempt to connect with him, only to have him scoff at her and accuse her of making it up to manipulate him. You can tell his tirade about her being ultimately a selfish person who tries to comfort herself with acts of charity really rankles her because it goes so strongly against her sense of self and represents everything it seems she's afraid of becoming, and so much of what she resents about Howard: the entitlement, the sense of ease and privilege, the self-congratulatory charity acts (don't get me wrong, I really like Howard, pompous as he can sometimes be, but I think this is how Kim views him). By the end of the episode, when she escalates Saul toying with a beer bottle on the balcony into throwing them into the parking lot, you can already see her pivoting and taking those first steps down the road that ultimately leads to the plot against Howard, which she justifies to herself in the name of using the Sandpiper money to fund her pro-bono work. And then in the end of the series, she both runs away AND atones for her actions by moving to Florida and living a life literally leeched of all color and joy, and is just doing penance by living a muted, mediocre life.

Domingo's arc in this episode is so crucial, too! Lalo and Nacho recruit Saul to feed him the information to undermine Fring, but when he meets Hank and Steve Gomez in prison, it starts him on the road to transforming from Domingo/Ocho Loco to Krazy 8. Ultimately leaving the cartel (I like to think because of the loss of his friend Nacho) and setting himself up as an independent dealer and even snitching on his own cousin, Emilio; which then leads to his collision with Walt and Jesse.

And the scene with Mike in the bar! The way he's barely holding it together as he tries (not very successfully) to drink away the pain and guilt caused by killing Werner just a few episodes before (S4E9) and is so triggered by the postcard that reminds him of their conversation is so powerful. I just love how he encounters the group of guys who try to intimidate and rob him and he defends himself in this episode, but we later see him intentionally return and seek them out in S5E5 "Dedicado a Max" in an act of self-loathing and roundabout self-harm via taking a beating and not even trying to defend himself.

I'm rambling, but these shows make me litcherally mentally unwell with how fantastically nuanced and textured the writing, acting, visual storytelling, music, everything is! I'm just going to be ruminating on all these many facets of accepting consequences, atoning, and/or running away affects these characters and the arc of both shows and the world they inhabit for the next long while....

[somebodylovesyougcv]

going to go crazy. better call saul transformed throwaway lines from breaking bad into two fully formed and fleshed out characters that haunt jimmy/saul’s narrative throughout the entire run of both shows. it wasn’t me, it was ignacio! it was nacho varga, first a willing participant in the salamanca game and then a victim and a pawn in gus fring’s revenge plot against them. who was forced to bring an end to lalo salamanca’s life but enjoyed it nonetheless. lalo, lalo didn’t send you? lalo salamanca, brought into jimmy/saul’s world by ignacio, who struck fear into jimmy and sent him on a days long trek through the desert. who knew the name of jimmy’s wife. who seemingly arose back from the dead and appeared in his doorway, shooting howard hamlin and permanently changing the course of jimmy’s life. one of the dominoes that fell to create saul goodman. ignacio and lalo, who lived in saul’s brain always, that when he was kneeling over an open grave in the desert, those were the only two names he could utter desperately. throwaway lines in breaking bad to necessary and transformative characters in better call saul. goodbye world

[thebwarch]

Everybody’s talked about Velma to death and had all their takes but I wanted to get one thought out that’s eating me alive before it completely passes from pop conscience.

This show creates so much contrast within itself so as to create a non-audience that it’s kind of incredible.

And it goes way deeper than people really think if you’ve only watched the takes from afar and seen a couple clips. Anything that this show or ANY show could possibly excel at it spoils for itself on a completely rapid pace and there is almost ZERO way to approach the show from any direction and enjoy it.

Layer 1 is it’s a Scooby spinoff, family friendly franchise, funny moments and charming characters, now it’s an adult show with cursing and gore and completely unlikable characters.

BUT THEN, say you’re here for the adult moments and gore and cursing. You are not going to be down for how juvenile and silly this show gets at the same time.

So then you have this weird mix of rightism and leftism where the show has race-swapped characters who say politically incorrect things, idiots against race swapping characters will hate it and lefties will hate the actual ideology and “jokes” on tap.

So say you don’t care about Scooby Doo and you’re approaching the show as an adult mystery show, the actual mystery and plot progression is painful, especially in the first week the show came out where there were only two episodes *and the plot had literally not progressed in the slightest and zero actual worthy clues have been found, only a red herring*

Say that you’re a fan of well-done animation, this isn’t that, the show does the bare minimum a majority of the time with maybe five seconds of sakuga if that per episode. But it’s also not atrociously bad to just show up to laugh at it, it’s boring in its terrible presentation.

The show ruins its serious moments with its “funny” moments, and ruins its “funny” moments with serious moments. If you’re here for a down-to-earth mystery, Velma assaults Daph with zero repercussion in the first 5 minutes of the show and main characters slice off background character limbs with zero repercussion. So you’re completely uninvested in taking the mystery or story seriously, and the comedy in and of itself does not work. I laughed a FEW times in the first two episodes. I actually enjoyed hearing about Velma’s mom going missing and her search for her, before the show ruined a touching scene seconds later.

I don’t even know if the show was made this way accidentally or on purpose for rage bait and I barely care about that aspect at this point, a behind the scenes feature completely going over production would be interesting but we are so not getting that in the detail I’d like. People have a pet theory the show was an original show before being slapped with Scooby Doo paint and like, no, if this show didn’t have the Scooby property it would not be better and it would not save it. It doesn’t HELP it to have the Scooby paint, but even REMOVING that element I would not like this show in a vacuum.

This show has TALENT behind it, the people behind it worked on Bojack Horseman and The Office, I’ve watched neither but people like those things in *droves*. It’s *bizarre* to put something together with such contrasting goals and non-audience with the pedigree of the people involved. It feels so accidental because in the leadup to this it REALLY FELT like the people making this show *cared* about it.

Some people say this show is bad because it doesn’t have Scooby and it’s a spin-off without the titular character. *Motherfucker what*. It’s not bad because it’s a spin-off it’s bad because it’s bad. It flies in the face of tons of other spinoffs that I’M SURE THESE SAME PEOPLE ADORE. Teen Titans, every piece of Robin media in general, Better Call Saul, Legend of Korra, Luigi’s Mansion, the list can go on and on. A Velma spinoff focusing on her character and doing a mature mystery twist on the formula sounds amazing on paper, it’s just the execution that fumbles.

There’s this bit at the beginning of episode 1 that’s really emblematic of everything. They have some BG charas taking a group shower at high school and talking about how much they hate sexualized TV, and then one pipes up to say that they like it and sex absolutely sells and everyone else is secretly a pervert. In this censored privates shower scene. It MIGHT work as meta commentary, if these weren’t minors in highschool. Like no, this is not the sex that sells, your designs and art are god awful, I am not going to get turned on at these actual fucking teenagers. It’s really bizarre and awful that you made an adult show with adult concepts surrounding these actual teenagers in actual highschool.

Fred’s becoming one of the most beloved characters in animation history, his last few outtings have made him an adorkable himbo that people adore. And then in this he’s a spoiled rich pathetic white boy, which mind you, I would LOVE to bash on that archetype if it wasn’t goddamn Fred. I LIVE to hate on the rich and pampered with my absolute abysmal bank account. But when you make it THIS character with THIS history, people are OF COURSE going to be sore and going to miss old characterization.

MAYBE IT IS PURPOSEFULLY DONE RAGE BAIT AFTER ALL...

The best thing anyone can do is not talk about it (I have failed) and let it pass, but it’s not as if not talking about it will stop it because it’s already been renewed for a second season. Make it a meme that HBO Max holds terrible shows and renews terrible shows, “HBO Max, home of Velma, the worst show on streaming”

Anyway go watch Puss in Boots Last Wish!

[rescue-ram]

Now I'm curious, how would you adapt a modern version of Mash?

Oh man thank you for giving me pretext to ramble about this. I have too many thoughts about Cursed Hypothetical MASH Reboot.

Genre Change MASH is from the golden age of sitcom and is one of the best examples of the genre. Tragically, really good sitcoms don't get made, and the shorter lengths commissioned mean we wouldn't get space for the sillier or more experimental episodes that make MASH so charming and memorable. This is also why any remake or reimagining could never replace the original. There's also less "suspension of disbelief" with modern audiences, so I think modern MASH would have to have a more grounded setting and consistent time line, so RIP time loop. I think the modern genre that would best fit MASH is dramedy. Classico MASH already had elements of "get 'em laughing so they cry harder" and Hypothetical Remake MASH would play that up. Basically, we're gonna "Better Call Saul" this bitch.

In writing out my ideas below, I realized hitting the main plot beats I imagine makes this sound like. Depressing. Which it kind of would be! But I want to emphasize that in my mind's eye this would still tonally be a comedy right up until It Isn't. Similar to BCS, characters encounter obstacles, handle them in very funny ways, but things Keep Happening and compounding and at the end you realize all those funny things have added up to something horrific and inevitable.

General Thoughts In my beautiful mind, this is five twelve episode seasons, each corresponding to a roughly six month period- the first two seasons are 1951, climaxing with Henry's death, first episode or two of season 3 is Trapper leaving/BJ arriving and then 3/4 is 1952, and the final season is 1953 and the ceasefire. Fortunately, because the characters in MASH are pretty well fleshed out with a lot of traits I think they could be turned into dramedy characters pretty easily, and you can take the Big Things that happen to them and play them straight/expand on them into proper arcs. Also, pulling in more historical details could be really interesting, and an opportunity to unpack how Fully Evil the war in Korea was. In reading more memoirs from doctors who served in MASH units, I was struck by how much contact with international forces they had, and the surprising amount of contact with their Chinese/Korean counter-parts. I think more of both of those things would be fun to incorporate into Hypothetical Remake.

Expanded Roles for Nurses We need more women. And fortunately, we got them! Even though there is Not A Lot of existing canon, I really do think we have enough on the recurring nurses to act as seeds for fuller characters. I would love to see Kellye developed as a supporting character from the start. Struggling to articulate this, but I think a deeper perspective on anti-Asian sentiment could be explored through her, possibly with some connections to the history of colonialism in Korea in particular. The character was described as Chinese and Hawaiian, but given her credited surnames of Yamato and Nakamura getting a little into her Japanese heritage and the resentment of Koreans towards the Japanese could be interesting as well. I also think "Dish" Schneider's conflict, torn between loyalty to her husband/fiancee and her attraction to the handsome funny guy who relentlessly flirts with her, could be a source of drama. I also really like Ginger's recurring "thing" with Trapper in canon, and expanding that into an actual friendship and digging into the racism and taboos against interracial relationships of the period would be interesting. You can take Margie Cutler as a young and inexperienced nurse and give her a little coming of age arc. I would also love for Knocko McCarthy to be a foil for Margaret- as the second most senior nurse, she chafes under Margaret's command and kind of collaborates with the Swampmen to subvert her, culminating in Margaret calling her out that if she didn't side with them against her, they'd hate Knocko too, and them growing closer over the series.

Ho-Jon and Expanded Roles for Korean Characters Many have written about the shitty representation of Koreans in MASH, and Hypothetical Remake could remediate that significantly. I think giving Ho-Jon (or a similar new character) an expanded role would be good, with more ties to his family out of camp and conflict over whether or not supporting the occupying American forces and the south is the right thing to do or the expedient thing. I also think there's some dark comedy to be mined from a slightly subversive Ho-Jon taking advantage of racism and being seen as ignorant or interchangeable to get away with shit. Would love for Black Market Guy to be a recurring character. There's also a great real life story I read where a MASH surgeon formed a bond with a Chinese doctor after accidentally connecting to a PLA radio channel, and I think that could be adapted into a really fun source of comedy (bonding with "the enemy" over shared indignities, surprising similarities, etc) and ultimately drama (Hawkeye finds out about a US or ROK attack that will cripple that doctor's unit or put him in danger- does he say nothing, knowing hundreds will be injured or killed including maybe his new friend, or does he commit treason and risk prison or death to warn him- and how does he live with not knowing what happened when he has to choose inaction?) Any of the Very Special episodes could be adapted and expanded. And of course, Hypothetical Remake would have Korean writers, or consultants, or at the very least a goddamn baby name book so we don't end up with a dozen characters just named Kim, or worse random syllables.

Radar I would love to keep Radar as one of the main POV character throughout the whole series and use his unique position to bridge between different storylines- he's an enlisted man so he has that perspective, he's close with Hawkeye and the surgeons, he's assisting Henry/Potter so he has ties to command, give him a friendship with a nurse and you're set. Given the comedy-to-tragedy arc of dramadys, I would love to take the book detail that he enlisted with dreams of glory and becoming a general and lean fully into that. He starts out season 1 as a sweet naive farm kid flying by the seat of his pants to figure out his job, he gets more and more enmeshed with the military over the course of the series, currying favor with the brass to pull strings to help the unit/his friends/himself, and it ends with Potter giving him a recommendation for officer school- an outcome fully framed as a tragic loss of self to a corrupt institution.

Hawkeye I think Seasons 1 and 2 in particular could be driven by the Hawkeye and Trapper committing outrages and crimes in the name of justice/not giving a shit, and then having to spend the rest of the season engaging in more outrages and crimes to Bugs Bunny their way out of consequences. The central tragedy arcing through the series is the Destruction of Hawkeye Pierce. He starts out determined to stay himself, stick to his principles, and not let the army change him. The glimmer of hope at the end is that he has survived and gets to go home, but At What Cost. I also think making him bipolar makes the most sense- early season Hawkeye hints he's had highs and lows before, but always managed to cope, but under the increasing stress his mental health gets worse. Insomnia due to overwork triggers a manic episode (adapting Dr Pierce and Mr Hyde) about halfway through S1, with a major change in his relationship with Trapper associated with that, and his first on screen depressive episode triggered by Henry's death, which gets him his week of R&R he goes AWOL from. He holds it together through S3 with increasing amounts of self-medication for BJ's sake, and S4's overarching storyline for him is a fully Catch-22 expansion of The Late Captain Pierce with increasing levels of franticness to resolve it, and S5 is a full blown "I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE" crisis culminating in the equivalent of GFA, and a brief psychotic episode triggered by his mood dysregulation and moral injury. An expansion of The Late Captain Pierce would be a great source of absurdity and drama, the ultimate consequence of his alienation of Everyone In Bureaucracy or Command (they all dislike/hate him for his antics and disrespect in S1-3 and no one wants to help him in his predicament, with a few spitefully refusing to help outright), and necessary to explain his presence in Korea in 1953 since his enlistment should've ended by then (since key members of the bureaucracy Hate him they refuse to count the months he was "dead" as part of his service, and his father is in too poor of health/financially strained from his cancer scare to advocate for him successfully stateside). I also think "playing straight" all the nurses breaking up with him after Ceasefire could be interesting. Like, S1 Hawkeye is a ladies man who's saying all the right things and juggling multiple relationships, but after they realize he doesn't Capital L Love any of them they start to distance from him- not unfriendly, but less a source of support. That alienation from others, first with the nurses at the end of S1 then others in camp, causing a vicious cycle of increasingly erratic behavior leading to less support etc culminates in his breakdown towards the end of the series.

Trapper My beloved boy ♥️ who has less of an arc and more of a vibe in existing canon, so we get to make some shit up whole cloth. Either keep the book/movie canon they were friendly in college, or make them childhood friends- not close, but some kind of pre-existing relationship. First episode is them stealing a jeep and bonding as they get into Shenanigans and Danger on their way to camp. Some people have the headcanon that Trapper lost a brother in WWII because of Wayne Rogers' acting choices, and I think a backstory like that could be interesting. He starts out a little ambivalent about the war, not wanting to be there and very aware of the human costs, but also feeling he has a duty. As he and Hawkeye get into more and more Situations trying to expose war crimes or fix injustices and even basic supply issues and are met by indifference or incompetence, he gets disillusioned. After Hawkeye's manic episode, he decided the one Actually Good thing he can accomplish is keeping his friend sane until they can get back home, since he starts to increasingly see his medical work as futile and the UN intervention as hopeless/harmful. They get closer and rely on each other more and more in S2, and in my based and gay pilled vision this is explicitly romantic and sexual, albeit with serious ambiguity if they would've had this relationship outside the trauma of war. Towards the end of S2, Trapper starts to get sick, and it turns out stress and increased alcohol & tobacco use contributed to an ulcer- it almost seems like he'll be sent home, but as in Classico MASH he begins treatment at the 4077th- and then Henry dies. Hawkeye spirals and they have to send him away, and then Trapper has to help pick up the increased work load. His symptoms get worse and he tries to cope and hide it, and develops peritonitis. When he realizes he's going to be evacced to Tokyo and then back to the States, he has a bit of a fucking meltdown. Mission Failed, he can't be there for his friend, and he blames himself because it was partly caused by his alcohol abuse. This is not just me being a Trapper simp, he has to go home before his enlistment is up for plot reasons since we no longer get the benefit of fuzzy timeline, and the genre convention of dramedy is you always Reap The Whirlwind at the worst possible moment.

BJ Ironically, I don't need to change anything about BJ to turn him into a dramedy character. He already has a "negative character arc", and you just take the major beats of that, set them in a linear escalation, and tighten them up. He starts out bright eyed and idealistic, determined to keep his head up, do his duty, and get out. Hawkeye meets him at the air field, having missed Trapper. Hawkeye blames himself for Trapper's health problems, and wants to do better by the new guy, offering him support and guidance. BJ bonds with him through the craziness, but as stress increases he starts acting out in small petty stochastic pranks, and then Peg's letters and missing his family build his anger, and he lashes out at Hawkeye because he suspects (in that "he's not right but he isn't wrong either" way) that Hawkeye's friendship isn't really because of BJ himself but because BJ is Trapper's Replacement. He suspects Hawkeye and Trapper were more than friends and he's simultaneously jealous and repulsed- he wants to totally replace Trapper and for Hawkeye to like him best, but he also loves Peg and misses her terribly and resents Hawkeye for "making" him want him. His chaotic unhinged repression is funny until it's briefly terrifying, then sad. As Hawkeye's mental health deteriorates, he tries to be supportive, but is ultimately overwhelmed by the intensity of Hawkeye's crisis and pulls back, though they mend things somewhat at the end.

The Hawkeye/Trapper/BJ Nexus In summary, our core duos are codependent trainwrecks, but while TrapHawk are more of an enabling and felonious "Thelma and Louise" style folie a deux, BJ and Hawkeye are more of an epic highs and lows "if you can't be with the one you love love the one your with" "hand in unlovable hand" mess.

Margaret Don't have nearly as much to say about our girl because I suck and have been writing this for almost 2 hours now because I'm insane but she has one of the best character arcs in MASH and Hypothetical Remake would really just intentionally start laying out her conflicts and growth from episode 1. She would also have more independent story arcs of trying to manage the nurses, and navigating advancing her career in the face of sexism. I would love to see her messy and complicated relationships with powerful men explored more fully. She bonds with Frank first to have a relationship where she's more in control than with her superiors, then as an ally to push back against the TrapHawk Chaos, then as she grows more confident (and TrapHawk get in over their heads) she is able to let go of the cloak of power military pretensions give her and be more herself.

Henry and Potter Henry remains a lovable incompetent. The one headcanon I have I'd like to use in Hypothetical Remake is that he's pretty severely dyslexic- I base that off his mispronunciations and malapropisms and canonical issues with reading (in Classico MASH doing things like holding a paper upside down or not being able to read maps and the words on them). He got through med school by having his wife read his textbooks out loud and type his papers, and brute force memorization. This is part of why he over relies on Radar to manage his paperwork and is easily scammed into signing off on things- he really can't tell what he's signing unless he uses all of his focus to decipher the text, and he's a trusting person so he rarely does. @marley-manson I LOVE your take that your ideal Potter is the exact same character in the show but the narrative treats him as an antagonist, and that is the vibe Hypothetical Remake would have.

Frank and Charles Again not a lot to say here, secondary characters and minor antagonists, but they would remain big sources of commentary but their pathos would be played up more in a dramedy.

Mulcahy Again, not too much different from canon, just more intentional building of a tragic arc. A smart sensitive guy who grew up poor and thought the church would be a path to respect or maybe even greatness got told to be a math teacher by his diocese, enlisted as a chaplain when the war broke out as part of his personal quest for meaning and significance, is confronted by the horrors and damage to innocent lives but still tries to believe in a greater purpose and good to what's happening, struggles with feelings of powerlessness and futility, and when he's finally able to do something heroic loses his hearing, which costs him his vocation- he's permanently disabled and would be unable to return to his old role as a parish priest/school teacher.

Recurring Characters Sidney my beloved ♥️ We bring back Sam Pak as a returning character. Also General Hammond and other members of the brass. I think Oliver could work really well as a recurring character.

Klinger Whole bundle of thoughts on this guy I wanted to save till the end. Because I adore Klinger, he's incredibly funny and one of the kindest and most principled characters on the show, and he's also incredibly 70s and I don't think could work as he was in a 21st century dramedy. I can see three potential paths to adapting him. A) Lean into the young, brash, hustler side of his personality, and he's a straight guy who thinks the craziest thing someone could do is wear a dress. B) An explicitly gay character who refuses to admit to being gay for a discharge because he finds the idea of being judged less than or broken for his sexuality incredibly offensive, but did drag back in Toledo and also refuses to stop being himself just because he got drafted. C) Principled pacifist serving as an orderly because of the draft who refuses to wear the uniform and started wearing dresses as a protest against bullying/abuse- oh, your gonna call me a sissy and steal my clothes because I refuse to use a gun? I will not only wear a dress, I will zhuzh it up into something amazing, because I would rather wear this outfit you intend to humiliate me with than that damn uniform.

[opbackgrounds]

So the timeline of events is this: Shortly after the Buster Call, the marines went back to Ohara to confirm there were no survivors. It was then that they discovered the lakebed full of books, but in their ignorance dismissed them as unimportant.

Several months later, Vegapunk (at this time working at Punk Hazard) made the trip out to the West Blue to pay his respects to Professor Clover, who along with Dragon he knew personally. At that time Dragon and the Elbaf giants were already present, although they don’t seem to have ever allied with one another, each letting the other conduct their business as they saw fit. At the behest of Saul, the Elbaf giants dredged the lake and took all the texts back to Elbaf, and curious about the texts and knowing the Government wouldn’t give him the answers he sought, Vegapunk eventually made the trip to to the New World himself to study the ancient texts, which he used to supplement his own research.

Within a year of the Buster Call, Dragon had recruited his two top lieutenants and had begun his war against the Celestial Dragons in earnest, spending the next two decades looking for Robin as the “Light” of his Revolution, without success.

The only question that really remains in trying to figure out how all these pieces fit together is Saul’s connection to the Elbaf giants, since he distinguished himself from them earlier in this flashback and seemed to view them in a negative light. I think we’ll find out once the crew goes to Elbaf, along with what connection, if any, Kidd has in all of this.

As for the believability of the Elbaf giants being able to rescue all those books after they’d been sitting in a lake for months...It’s One Piece. Impossible things happen all the time, and I’m not hung up too much on it.

It is possible to restore waterlogged books. It’s a laborious process that has to be done quickly as mold tends to set in after the first few days, but if the books were frozen before being transported back to Elbaf I think it’s at least plausible by the standards of One Piece plausibility.

Makes for some interesting potential head canons. Either say, I’m excited to see where Oda goes with this plot point going forward.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

MAN I LOVE UR WRITING I NEED MORE JIMMY MCGILL NOWWW!!!!! that’s unhinged im so sorry

anyways if ur still taking requests i beg u to write smthn abt Goodman helping a client (client is transmasc and tatted and pieced as fuck (me)) with weed possession and he wins the case cus he’s Saul Goodman obviously. after they celebrate with a joint and they have some nasty high sex. like imagining Saul coughing on a joint and being like “damn kid this shit’s strong.. let’s fuck” makes me shensudbwjwbs 🙏🙏

anyways have a good day/night man, congrats on graduating!!! :))

HIIIII im also tatted and pierced so this is personal 2 me 😌🖤 kinda took the piercing idea and ran with it teehee

didn’t wanna describe any specific tattoos but i included some piercing mentions (nipples, septum, tongue, vch for plot relevance >:3c)

this is also way longer than a usual drabble so plbbbbbt

warning: intox kink (weed), light degradation

anatomical terms: clit/dick/cock, pussy, hole

“In light of this new evidence, the court has decided to drop all charges against the defendant.”

Slam dunk. Saul did it again. He’d managed to convince the judge that the cop who arrested you for marijuana possession had conducted an illegal search. He got you off. You were grateful that you wouldn’t have this looming over your head for the rest of your life. So grateful, in fact, that you hugged him as soon as you two stepped out of the courtroom.

“Ah, don’t mention it, kid. Least I could do for you.” He smiled and patted your back. He’d actually taken quite a liking to you while working on your case. You reminded him of his Slippin’ Jimmy days back in Chicago. A naïve 20-something with an affinity for pot and a less than stellar relationship with the law. He hoped he could steer you on the right path, and maybe have some fun with you too. “Say, you’re actually my last client for today. You wanna grab some food with me or something? Maybe Peter Parker’s girlfriend could join us.”

You snorted. Mary Jane. That was your code for inviting each other to smoke, which ironically you'd done frequently while working on your case. You pushed yourself off his chest and smiled up at him. “Sure. I’d like that.”

You two sat in the parking lot of Los Pollos Hermanos hotboxing his luxury car, passing a joint back and forth with greasy fingers. You took a bite of your sandwich, and a glob of chipotle mayo fell onto your nice, clean dress shirt.

"Aw, man." You groaned, before remembering you didn't need to impress anyone anymore. You shrugged, "Eh, whatever," and untied your tie, no doubt getting chicken grease all over the fabric. Then, you unbuttoned and untucked your ruined shirt, wiped the mayo off with a napkin, and tossed it behind you, leaving you in a tank top undershirt with your arm tattoos exposed. "God, I hate wearing long sleeves. I don't know how you can wear full suits in weather like this. Feel like I'm suffocating."

"You get used to it." Saul laughed and cranked the A/C for you. "I just wasn't sure if the judge would appreciate your ink as much as I do. Wanted to make sure you had the 'perfect little darling' look, y'know? Some people are close-minded like that. Least you don't have to anymore." He passed you the joint. His eyes trailed up your forearms to your chest, where he saw two barbells poking through your shirt. "Woah, hey! You got your high beams on! I'm surprised you didn't set off the metal detector with those!"

You had no idea what he was talking about, "Huh?", until your eyes followed his and you looked down. "Oh! Oh yeah, I figured I wouldn't have to take those ones out."

"Well, they look good on you. Not a lot of dudes can pull them off." Saul took a sip of his drink, ice sloshing as he put it down in the cup holder. "How many piercings you got, anyway?"

You ran through your list nonchalantly. “Not counting the ones on my ears, I have four. Septum, tongue, both nipples, and-“ You stopped yourself short and froze. The other piercing was a VCH. Vertical clit hood. If you told him that, you’d be outing yourself. You decided the best move was to say nothing else. He was a smart guy. Let him figure it out.

And he did. “Oh, ho! Naughty boy! You got a Prince Albert or something?" He elbowed you. "Chicks must be ALL over you."

You grimaced, hoping it looked like a nervous smile. "Not exactly..."

"Hm. Tell you what." Saul lit the joint, hit it, and passed it to you. "I'll buy you an eighth if you show me."

You nearly dropped the joint on your leg when he said that. "What?! Are you serious?!"

"Dead serious! I wanna know if I'm missing out! Maybe I should get one." You anxiously took a puff as he spoke with confidence. Confidence that was unwarranted; he had no clue what he was getting into. "Look, I got a guy and his stuff is the shit. It'll be worth it, I promise. You just whip it out, lemme see, put it back, and I'll hook you up. Hell, I'll even knock some off the money you owe me."

You did the cost benefit analysis in your head. Free weed plus less debt to your lawyer, and all you have to do is show him your pussy? Would it really be so bad? He really wasn't the judgmental type. He'd definitely ogle, but surely he'd understand. You sighed. "Okay. I'll do it." You took one more hit of the joint and passed it to him before you unbuckled your belt. "Just so you know, though, it's probably not what you're expecting."

Saul scoffed. "Kid, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my day. Unless your dick has a radio antenna sticking out of it or something, I think I can handle it."

You ignored his sass and worked on undressing yourself. You slid your pants off, and crossed your legs so he wouldn't see the lack of bulge in your underwear. Then, you looked over at him. "Ready?"

"Ready." He answered smugly.

You uncrossed your legs and tugged your underwear down. Your clothes pooled around your ankles, and you kicked your shoes off to free yourself. Now for the reveal. You turned your body to face him, scooted forwards, and opened your legs, hooking one behind the driver's seat, and the other propped on the dashboard. You spread your lips and showed him your, rather unconventional, dick piercing. The metal barbell stared him right in the face, and he stared back, mouth agape.

"Oh my god..."

You could see the gears turning in his head. His eyes flicked back and forth from your junk, to your face, and then back to your junk. For a man who loved the sound of his own voice, it was rare for him to be left truly speechless, but you'd done it. It was honestly quite the confidence boost.

You smirked. "Well? Is it everything you hoped for?"

"Yeah... Yeah it is..." He answered breathlessly. His mind was screaming at him not to fuck this up.

"Got anything to say? Any questions, comments, or-"

Saul butted in the middle of your sentence. Apparently, he did have something important to say. "Can I touch it?" He blurted out.

You knew exactly where this was going, and you were gonna enjoy the ride. "Sure, go for it." You took the joint and the lighter from him, leaving his hands free to explore.

Saul leaned over and brushed his hand against your skin, not fully making contact with the piercing just yet, essentially just rubbing his fingers up your slit. He was taking his time. He was warming you up. "This is... This is incredible. God, you're... you're really something else kid."

You took a hit of the joint and sighed on the exhale. From his gentle touch and praise to the haze of the weed, you were plenty warm already. Once he thought the same, he pressed his thumb against the barbell and flicked it up. Your whole body jolted and you gasped. "Ah!"

"You alright?" He asked, not pulling his hand away. He kept it firmly in position, ready to strike again.

"Y-Yeah, just-" He did it again, "Ngh... just be careful it's-" and again, "ah... it's sensitive..." and again.

He chuckled. "I can tell. Is that why you got it? You like the extra stimulation?"

"Mhm..." You nodded.

"Heh... slut." He pressed his thumb down hard and rubbed you in quick circles. "Keep smoking. I'm gonna have fun with you."

"O-Okayyy..." You whimpered and lit the joint while he teased you, watching him with wanting eyes as you climbed higher and higher. The smoke left your body and carried a sigh of pleasure out with it.

Keeping his thumb on your cock, he scooped his other fingers down and prodded at your hole. "Aw, look at you. You're already wet for me? That's precious." He slipped two inside without resistance, cooing to you as he pumped them in and out, savoring your pathetic whines and tremors. "Oh, now that's a good boy. C'mon, take another hit."

You took another drag, and while your lungs were full of smoke, he shot his fingers up against your g-spot. You moaned for half a second before choking on your hit. You coughed and waved the smoke out of your face, scrambling for some semblance of composure. "You dick! You did that on purp-ohhh..."

Saul kept working his hand, laughing at how easy it was to shut you up. "Yeah. Yeah, I did, but don't act like you don't love it." He leaned in and kissed your cheek before whispering right to you, making sure you could hear him over your own body. "Hear that? Hear how wet you are for me? That's how I know you love it. Whore." He tilted your face towards him and caught you in a kiss. You let his tongue invade your mouth and take what he wanted, a trail of spit connected you two as he broke off. "You like getting filled up, huh, boy?"

Your voice was a high-pitched, desperate whine. "Y-Yes..."

"Yeah? I bet you like getting fucked in your tight little pussy, too, is that right? You like it when a big, strong, man puts his cock in you and uses you like a cheap sex doll?"

Another slam dunk. He was right on the money. "Yes! Yes! Oh, fuck, yes!"

He flashed a sinister grin. "Good boy." He pulled his hand out of you and went for his own belt. He yanked his pants down, showing off a noteworthy tent in his boxers. You didn't get much of a look before those were off too, but the sight of what was underneath was far better. "Gimme the joint." He demanded as he stroked his cock in preparation.

You'd do anything he said. You handed him the joint and the lighter without a second thought.

"Good boy." He took a hit and blew the smoke in your direction. "So," He took a second to cough, "what you're gonna do is you're gonna sit on my cock and bounce that pretty little ass of yours on it. You think you can do that?"

There were no words left in your mind. You were an animal, acting purely on instinct. He gave the order, and immediately you climbed into his lap, bumping into the steering wheel a few times as you tried to situate yourself. Saul offered no assistance, he just continued with the joint. Fortunately, you managed to get into position without help, and you sunk down onto his cock.

"Oh! Oh my-Mmph!"

He used your wide open mouth as an opportunity to shotgun you. He blew the smoke into you and let it fill the parts of your body that he couldn't reach. You gripped his shoulders and squeezed him like you were trying to pop him. When he pulled back, you dropped your head onto his shoulder and whined.

"There we go. You feel so good, baby boy." He kissed your head and rubbed your back, comforting you as you settled into him. "Now," He yanked you up by your hair to look him in the eyes.

"Hold on tight. Cause I'm gonna take you for a ride..."

[aggravateddurian]

Brother's Shadow | Campfire

December, 2079 | Reno, Nevada

Just some Nomads chilling (or rather, warming up) around the campfire. A moment of quiet, for when Saul isn't lecturing people (usually Val and/or Panam: they are THE WORST together, like a pair of siblings that get on just a little too well (they're plotting something)) or Raffens haven't decided to launch yet another suicidal attack against the Nomad pack with the Basilisk.

[postguiltypleasures]

My Peak TV Journey *Better Call Saul*

This is an entry that took a while to write. I watched the first two seasons of Better Call Saul as they aired, not too long after I binged Breaking Bad, from which it spun off. I don’t remember why I didn’t watch the third season as it aired. I was busy with something. But I finally got around to the final four seasons around the one year anniversary of the final episodes. I never re-watched the first two seasons, nor BB. This probably did come at the expense of some appreciation for the series. I know there were some characters and sub plots that I forgot in my hiatus. But I never felt I had the time, and frankly, I didn’t like either series enough to rewatch. 

Which isn’t to say that I don’t think it is good. I think it’s good, but it fills me with dread, and not all of it seems intentional. I think As someone who watched and presumably liked BB, the various references to things that would happen there should have excited me more than they did. I found myself resenting that I promised myself to finish it before starting some shows that I also want to see, (the list is endless).

I like the characters of Jimmy and Kim. I like them better than most of the characters from BB, which is why I think the feeling I of dread I got from BB character was unintentional. (I completely forgot about some of the characters from the earlier series between viewings. This includes the Salamanca twins who I think should have left more of an impression on me.)

As I went on I started thinking about how many things that make television television, as opposed to a series of movies. TV runs off the tension between something familiar that the viewer wants more of and the desire to know what is next, and sometimes it felt like BCS was actively going against these things. For example, I often find that I amorally attached to certain sets. BCS ran through various great office and apartment sets, only to make the familiar Saul’s office from BB seem extra unpleasant. Then there were subplots, especially with Gus, where knowing how it wraps up in BB, just made it feel slack. Knowing Gus and Hector die in a murder-suicide made the scenes where Gus was tormenting Hector after his stroke seem pointless. 

There were other times when I wondered about how much I could hate most of the main characters. In particular, I found myself hating Mike more and more as the series as it went on. Or maybe I always hated him, and just got over the sense that I was supposed to like him, or at least see him as somewhat sensible. After all the things between Mike and Werner I think the former deserved to be murdered by Walter White and have to listen to Walter yammer on while he died. Mike’s essential to the plots of both shows, but I hate everything he stands for. He’s smug, cynical know it all. I can’t tell if I was supposed to dislike him, but the fact that I did makes it seem like I should have given up on this earlier.

My fixation on “what does it mean that I hate Mike this much?” is because I am under the impression that he is a well liked character amongst fans. I am also under the impression that Jimmy’s brother Chuck is generally a hated character. I can understand it. Depending on your point of view he either doomed Jimmy to become Saul, or at least refused anything helpful. But I liked Chuck and was less engaged by the show after he died.  His dynamics with Jimmy, Kim and Howard were interesting to me in ways that none of cartel stuff was. I was also amused that Chuck apparently wanted to write a book about the Commerce Clause. The Commerce Clause has fascinating history with American Civil Rights Movements and seems pretty controversial with the current Supreme Court of the USA. But I doubt Chuck would write a book that is engaging for most readers, because he tend to be in his own, intellectual world and doesn’t engage with the masses. And that’s the kind of tragedy that fascinates me.

Jimmy’s potential to be something other that Saul is traced with the class action suit he starts after some discovers at The Sandpiper Senior Residence. I was kind of shocked by how long this plot lasted, especially as it seemed to be dropped for episodes at a time. I made a note for myself about how the beginning and the beginning-of-the-end of the Sandpiper storyline involves Jimmy in a toilet stall making unconventional use of toilet paper. The first is desperate but optimistic. The second is cynical and much more destructive. It ends tragically, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the set up reminded me of Anthony Trollope’s The Warden, and that was a rough read. But how it ended, with the two worlds of the show colliding and making the lead to BB inevitable was exciting and dreadful. It also involved lots of name dropping and heavy foreshadowing with the assumption that we remember it from however long ago we watched BB. It’s really well done. It’s connected aspects of today’s media, where every series in an intellectual property that can go on forever. And I really don’t like that. 

I want to talk about about the show’s other corporate plot in the series, the Mesa Verde plot, the one that Kim is involved in. It’s her big get, and something of a boring prison. It started half way through the second season and ends near the end of the fifth, so it was easy to dismiss as not that important to the general direction, but it does have some interesting things about how most lawyering is tiring paperwork not what we want from a TV show. It shows that Kim gets risky in her games with Jimmy because of how unengaged she is with work that is otherwise going well. Because of the amount of time between the debut BB and now, I found myself wondering if the housing market bubble will affect the Mesa Verde plot? Which I guess made me more engaged than Kim? 

The main idea in this is that after finishing the series, I don’t think I liked it enough to justify the amount of time I spent watching it. But I need say, I do think it’s well made. It was always great to look at, especially with some of their more metaphoric shots, like the ants on the abandoned ice cream cone signaling JImmy’s future as Saul. All the performances were well done. I can tell there was some hard work in this. It wasn’t for me. I need to be better at giving things up that aren’t for me. 

[bubblegum-pinkman]

breaking bad/better call saul roleplay!

hi there! i’ve had the biggest breaking bad/better call saul brainrot and i would absolutely love to roleplay on discord— especially breaking bad or el camino! i’m dying for somebody to play jesse pinkman or jane margolis as backup (or perhaps both 🤭) against my oc! i can play literally anybody you want— even jesse or jane! i don’t gatekeep my love interests! i’m open to any gender pairings.

in terms of plots, i have plenty of ideas in my mind right now and would love to try them out! given the nature of the show, i do ask that you are 18+, are okay with darker plots, and even okay with nsfw content. i don’t have many triggers, but we can always discuss our preferences and limits!

more about me— i’ve watched all of breaking bad and el camino, and i’ve started bcs, but am open to any spoilers! i’m on season 1 but i’m trying to get through, i’ve just been busy. i’m 22 years old and i do have a full-time job, so i do expect a patient partner. we can always communicate. i can make my evenings and weekends active, though! i roleplay semi-lit to lit. my replies are usually a discord mobile page long and go over the character limit, but i don’t go for multiple messages per reply. really long replies burn me out and put a lot of pressure on me. i’m okay with a few sentences to the character limit— i just ask that your replies have detail! quality matters more than quantity to me.

i think i covered all my bases, but please go ahead and like this post or message me, and i’ll reach out to you so we can get some wonderful roleplays going. i hope to hear from you! if we’ve talked before, please feel free to reach out again! 🫶🏻

[rien-maz]

And so, I finished watching this show and you know, dumber than this show can only be the Disney cartoon of the century, for both are storyless, holey, raw and meaningless pictures that make you want to wash your eyes out.

So this is a continuation or addition to the first post about analyzing this "miracle". https://www.tumblr.com/rien-maz/755293709600456704/and-so-i-avoiding-all-spoilers-finished-my

First, I still had hope that Leslie would deign to "plug" the plot holes in the last two episodes, but no, that didn't happen.

After watching, there are still a bunch of questions and here are a few of them:

How did Mei get saved? How did our Sith pretty boy find her? How were the two twins created? Why are they the same person? Why does Darth Plagas show up there? What is his significance? Why doesn't physics work in this show? Why the fuck is Yoda suddenly unable to sense with the jedi force? What role does Mei's mark on her forehead play? Why are the two sisters acolyte? And so it goes on and on ad infinitum.

A little disclaimer: this post will contain rude words and phrases, heaps of sarcasm, and a suggestion that the ratings of this show be collapsed for spitting Leslie Hadland in the face of all Star Wars fans.

Let's start with the seventh episode: Leslie apparently wanted to add action to her terrible picture and filmed a scene of Saul chasing after Mei, trying to mimic Fast and Furious. But!

Before that, I had a question, how does Mei know about the concept of hell? Because I don't remember the star wars universe talking about heaven and hell even once. If my memory serves me correctly, all dead souls "fall into the Force".

Oh yeah, in this fine series we also have the "unkillable protagonist" principle at work, who went through the atmosphere at breakneck speed and didn't even bother to use the Force to slow his fall. Yeah, yeah, screw the basic skills of Force users.

I laughed at the conversation between the Senator and our main antagonist in the form of a green-skinned woman (I didn't even try to remember her name and I won't apologize for that). Did you smell something in that scene?

Oh yes, the romanticization of violence, particularly the dark side of the Force. Leslie, ignoring all the laws of Lucas' universe, made the Sith not the rapists and murderers who are alien to the humanity and compassion that kept slaves during the Emperor's reign on Dromund Kaas, and not only in those times. Even going back to the origins of the Sith, we know that the Sith were a race that lived on Korriban (if I remember correctly), and wow, you wouldn't believe it! They had slaves as a class in society too. Leslie made the Sith the poor saps that crave freedom from Jedi oppression.

Leslie is fucked up if she wants to romanticize those who killed, who betrayed, who plotted against each other, who destroyed, who perverted and who are simply evil in the flesh (the same Nikhilus, Darth Plagas, Darth Bane, Darth Tyranus, Darth Sidious (where else), etc.). Basically, Leslie romanticized Anakin Skywalker's killing of children with such a moment. After all, oh oh oh oh he's a poor guy who chose to be free of a "delusional cult".

Well done! Way to go! Good point, because killing other people is so cool, right, Leslie Hadland? That's what you're doing in this fucking show, saying that all Jedi are fucking egomaniacs who care about their own feelings and emotions (Mace Windu, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan Kenobi and the rest of the Jedi, along with their codes and teachings, fuck you).

But back to the series and its dumb plot, which there isn't.

Where were we? Oh yeah, on how I'm trashing this whole show and Leslie.

So, let's get on with it. The actors' performance was mentioned in the first post, so I won't repeat for the hundredth time what characters are flat, emotionless and so on. But I will talk about the motivation of the characters, that is, its absence. Seriously, neither the handsome Sith, nor Mei, nor Saul, nor Osha has any motivation. Osha hasn't changed at all since the first episode, she doesn't learn anything and just moves from one point to another just because other characters drag her there.

Zimmir's motivation for taking Acolyte's child as an apprentice is incomprehensible at all, simply because Leslie forgot to tell him what he's for and what powers he has.

I also have a question about the transformation of Oshi's lightsaber from blue to red. Because I only remember about the synthetic crystals that the Sith used to create their sword. But after poking around on the internet, I removed that statement. I didn't get a chance to pick on Leslie, unfortunately.

The biggest complaint about the last two episodes is where Mundi went and why Yoda, being the most powerful Jedi, didn't feel Zimmer cut out a group of Jedi and didn't feel cheated by Rowe (oh! I even remembered her name!) Why does the Jedi High Council care so absolutely nothing about missing and dead Jedi? Oh yeah, Leslie wants to show that, say, look what scum and moral freaks the Jedi are, just selfish!

In general, I could grumble for a long time, but I think you understood the main point and also realized how stupid this series is. As Dmitry Puchkov said "wasted time is a pity. One hundred percent digested feces."

So, in the end, what do we have? Osha and Zimmir's love line; Jedi egomaniacs and the romanticization of violence.

In fact, I suggest that for this spit, no, for the fact that Leslie spit in the face of Star Wars fans, to collapse the rating of this product on all platforms, so that Leslie realized that it is not worth offending fans.

[soon-palestine]

Son of Saul showed how the Holocaust’s horrors required inmates to hollow out their humanity. The horrors of Gaza have made a moral monster of its director, Laszlo Nemes: Laszlo Nemes, the Hungarian director of the award-winning Holocaust film Son of Saul, joins the elite mob determined to lynch film-maker Jonathan Glazer for trying to publicly prick Hollywood's conscience at the Oscars ceremony last week and end its deafening silence in the midst of a plausible genocide in Gaza.

Nemes' statement is a fascinating insight into the emotional and ideological contortions of the traumatised Zionist mind, incapable – given its particularist, zero-sum worldview – of acknowledging the endless suffering of the Palestinian people.

Instead, it constantly seeks to deflect from its responsibility for that pain by demonising those who stand in solidarity with Palestinians or even those who can no longer, in good faith, stand by as 2.3 million people are being bombed and starved to death.

Nemes’ statement, published sympathetically by establishment media outlets, turns the world on its head in accepting the gravest atrocities in living memory only because they are being committed by Israel – a militarised, settler colonial state that claims to represent Jews around the world and was founded, with western backing, on the ruins of the Palestinian people’s homeland.

A state that has been ethnically cleansing Palestinians for eight decades and is now declared by the international human rights community to be an apartheid state. A state that the World Court has ruled is committing a plausible genocide, and is known to have killed and maimed many tens of thousands of Palestinians in Gaza and created famine conditions for some 2 million more.

All of this, according to Nemes, is evidence not that Israel has turned out to be a classic example of the abused turning abuser but of a continuing global plot supposedly against the Jewish people, one that threatens their existence more so even than the Nazi Holocaust. It is, says Nemes, Zionist Jews like himself who are the true victims of Israel’s killing spree in Gaza – not the Palestinians being turned skeletal by a famine induced by the state Nemes identifies with, or the Palestinian bodies blown apart by bombs dropped by the state Nemes says represents him. It is, Nemes claims, Israel and the Zionist Jews who excuse its every action who are friendless, isolated, vulnerable, even as the United States – the world’s global hegemon – provides a constant flow of bombs to Israel and untold billions in financial aid, and even as Washington and Europe freeze funding to UNRWA, the only United Nations body capable of keeping the famine in Gaza at bay. All of that is irrelevant to Nemes’ traumatised, sick mind. He demands Glazer and others of conscience stay silent – stop “moralising” – and let Israel finish the job of erasing Gaza.

A job it has been carrying out incrementally for decades with the support of the same western establishments that originally gave away what was not theirs to give away – the homeland of the Palestinian people – to a Zionist movement that had promised to colonise Palestine on the West's behalf. With zero self-awareness, Nemes tells Glazer to instead worry about the "sorry state of cinema" and "the destruction of creative and artistic freedom by corporate mindset".

Yet in the same breath, he dismisses as antisemitism the call to stop bombing children in the pursuit of corporate profits by the arms industry, and the demand for Washington to stop backing a genocide by its most useful client state in controlling the oil-rich Middle East. Calls for an end to occupation, calls for the imposition of a ceasefire, remind Nemes of "12th-century archbishops, in an ecstatic state of self-righteousness, self-flagellation, denouncing vice, longing for purity".

According to Nemes, abhorrence at babies and children being actively starved to death is nothing more than a medieval “longing for purity”. Glazer, in calling for Israel to stop hijacking the voice of Jews by claiming to speak for them all and shielding itself from criticism by weaponising the Holocaust, is supposedly regurgitating "talking points disseminated by propaganda meant to eradicate, at the end, all Jewish presence from the Earth".

In Nemes's twisted mind, Glazer's call for an end to Israel's belligerent occupation and 17-year siege of Gaza, and the oceans of Palestinian and Israeli blood spilt to sustain it, is simple propaganda that leads to the extermination of all Jews.

Is it not Nemes who sounds like some terrifying throwback to the Dark Ages, not Glazer? Nemes ends with a warning as divorced from reality as the rest of his screed. We are, he says, “reaching pre-Holocaust levels of anti-Jewish hatred”, in what he describes bafflingly as a “trendy, ‘progressive’ way”.

So presumably in Nemes’ mind, the threat of antisemitism is not posed by the far-right racists stalking the corridors of power, like Donald Trump or Hungary’s own Viktor Orban, or the white nationalists who see Israel as a model for their own ethnic supremacist nationalism that will demand Jews be exiled from the West to a Jewish ghetto in the Middle East.

No, Nemes is worried about those “progressives” who want equality for Palestinians and Jews, who want an end to Israel’s apartheid rule over Palestinians.

Son of Saul showed a Jewish inmate of Auschwitz who gained marginal privileges over other inmates by turning himself into a hollow, morally empty creature ignoring the horrors all around.

There could be no clearer metaphor for the moral monster the genocide in Gaza has made of Laszlo Nemes. This article, Traumatised Zionist mindset exposed by new Hollywood attack on Glazer for Oscar speech, can be read and shared, with supporting links, here

[eros-thanatos89]

thinking about gustavo and max

I've been wanting to write a story for Gustavo Fring and Max Arciniega for soooo long, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the when/how/where/what of it...but I just love them so much and want to explore their relationship and history.

I actually really love that canonically we know very little about Gustavo. He is so menacing, especially because we know so little about him. He's a ghost--Hank even reveals that there's no paper trail of him before he emigrated to Mexico. And sure, that could partially be due to bad record keeping during the turbulent time in Chile of Allende being deposed by Pinochet and the unrest and terror of the Pinochet regime. But...I don't think Hank believes that's the only reason; it's far more likely that Gustavo has changed his identity and is fleeing Chile because he is possibly a war criminal, or implicated somehow in Pinochet's crimes. Hector Salamanca mockingly refers to him as "El gran general" when on the phone in the flash back of Marco and Leonel as boys. So presumably Gustavo was a general in Pinochet's army? In which case, he was most likely involved in kidnapping and torturing leftists and supporters of the Allende regime. Which is terrifying to consider.

But we also know that he grew up very poor. And at some point, generated enough wealth to pay Max's way through his education at the university of Santiago. A prestigious military career would be one way to achieve that type of upward mobility. It's hard to know how ruthless Gustavo was before Max's death turned him into the shell of a man whose only motivation is revenge that we meet in canon. But it's likely that he was willing to get his hands dirty as a soldier in order to climb his way up out of poverty. We know enough about him to know that he had a cruel streak even as a child (the coati story) and that he was patient and calculating, even then. So I can imagine that, to him, the ends would justify the means in terms of being part of an awful dictatorship if it guaranteed his advancement and wealth and security for his loved ones.

I just love imagining him when he was younger and less hardened by the world and the loss of Max. It's fun to imagine them happy together and optimistic on their journey to Mexico, before tragedy strikes.

Gustavo does some truly truly awful and reprehensible things (callously sacrificing Nacho and using children in his drug operation to name a few!) that go beyond the scope and necessity of his revenge plot against the Salamancas and the cartel at large. I think by the point we meet him in canon, he's cut out any remaining scraps of "humanity" and kindness and made himself into a cold revenge machine, willing to accept any collateral damage that may occur as a result. I think even he is probably aware that Max would likely hate this thing he's become. But he can't stop; he's invested too much into it, and his hatred and thirst for revenge is the only thing that motivates him to keep breathing.

Which is why his scene with David in Better Call Saul is so devastating! We get a little glimpse there of a softer side of him, and maybe a different path he could have gone down. Maybe even a little echo of the type of happiness and warmth he had in his life with Max.

Ugghhh. They break my heart!!

[leareadsheresy]

Galaxy in Flames

This post contains spoilers for Galaxy in Flames, by Ben Counter, first published as a novel on (as nearly as I can tell) October 10th, 2006.

I'll be honest, I don't have a lot to say about this one. This book is the story of how Horus took the major part of the Sons of Horus, Death Guard, Emperor's Children, and World Eaters Legions to the Istvaan system on false pretenses of putting down another rebellion, and on the planet Istvaan III deployed those portions of them he judged most likely to object to his rebellion against the Emperor in a spearhead strike against the planetary capital, then bombarded the planet from orbit in an attempt to kill all the potential loyalists in a first strike. Saul Tarvitz, an Emperor's Children marine from Horus Rising, does some investigation behind the scenes, figures out the plot, then flees to the planet's surface in time to warn the spearhead, who take shelter underground, allowing many of them to survive the bombardment (virus bombs that otherwise kill all life on the planet, including its six or so billion civillian inhabitants). What follows is then three months of fighting on the surface in the ruins of the planetary capital, with the loyalists in slow retreat, getting whittled down to buy time in the hope that word has gotten out of Horus's treachery and a relief force will be sent to rescue them. No relief force arrives, but their slow defeat does tangle up the traitor forces in time for word of Horus's treachery to make it back to the Imperium. Loken and Torgaddon, the loyalist half of Horus's advisory Mournival council, fight Abaddon and Aximand, the traitor half; Abaddon and Aximand both live, Torgaddon dies, and Loken's fate is left unclear (spoilers he survives and is a character in later books).

It ends like this:

In the meantime, three embedded civilian observers who've been secondary characters in the last two books escape from Horus's flagship the Vengful Spirit to the Eisenstein, the one ship in the fleet held secretly by loyalists, which escapes and will be the subject of the next book. One of them, Euphrati Keeler, is now preaching the Emperor's divinity, manifesting miracles, and being called a saint.

It's essentially an extended action story with a jailbreak B-plot. It makes some odd pacing decisions, basically skipping from the bombardment to the last few day of the siege; I feel like it could have wrung more drama from making the situation more grinding and desperate... but then I'm just describing Helsreach, which is not surprising because Helsreach did this better.

All but one of the traitors have ridden a slip-and-slide down into Saturday morning cartoon villainy in this book; they're now all sneering monsters, constantly internal monologuing their own sense of superiority and expressing petty contempt for everyone around them, including amongst each other. Horus imperiously tells people who were his trusted allies, friends, and close confidants in Horus Rising how cool he is and how they'd better not fail him; those former close confidants and trusted allies just accept that he's right to do that and then treat their former friends and subordinates the same way. It's not even that they feel out of character; they don't really have characters. The exceptions are Lucius, who's like that but more so, because he's one of the series' designated ultra-assholes like Erebus, and Aximand, who kills Torgaddon and feels bad about it. I assume that'll come up later.

Look, it's fine. It does the job it sets out to do. It doesn't fail in any interesting or infuriating ways like False Gods did; the ending is reasonably affecting if you like Saul Tarvitz. It successfully novelizes some lore that was around for decades and moves the events of the series forward. This is one of the most important events in the Heresy and we'll be re-visiting it a lot in future material; I hear some of that future material treats it better than this did.

Euphrati Keeler's role is weird. You would think the book would be interested in playing with tone when it comes to the death of the atheistic Imperial Truth and the birth of the Imperial cult, but like the death of all native life on Istvaan III and the betrayal and murder of the loyalists by their traitor brothers, it's all presented in a very matter-of-fact manner.

[viktorgf]

—10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 mutuals

emma @red-nightskies i’m obsessed w you thank u for the tag mwah 💋 idk who wants to do this so if i miss a tag consider urself tagged bless up @simply-jason ⚜️ @kyber-infinitygems ⚜️ @teamhawkeye ⚜️ @deputyrook ⚜️ @ghostfvcker ⚜️ @paddingtongirl ⚜️ @ansburg ⚜️ @bloodofvalyria ⚜️ @rosayoro ⚜️ @mxgyver ⚜️🩷✨

in no particular order—

SMOKE | MORTAL KOMBAT; i just think he’s neat idk i have been rotating him around in my brain since september please send help actually

ANNA HENRIETTA | THE WITCHER; you guys know this abt me she is serving and slaying and she occupies my mind always

CYBIL BENNETT | SILENT HILL; yes i hyper focused on a woman that is in one game i love her fuck ass bob so what. sue me.

LALO SALAMANCA | BETTER CALL SAUL; i could have put nacho and i should have but he mostly just makes me upset. so here’s the silliest goofiest guy in all of albuquerque

THANATOS | HADES; YES KING COME TO MY CHAMBER SO YOU CAN RING YOUR LITTLE BELL AND I CAN DESTROY YOU IN A KILLING SPREE

HOSEA MATTHEWS | RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2; featuring a lil charthur mwah mwah mwah aaaand the best dad ever best dilf award goes to—

MASAKO ADACHI | GHOST OF TSUSHIMA; the best canon url i ever had and will have. i love this woman. play ghost of tsushima.

DONNA BENEVIENTO | RESIDENT EVIL; show me a tragic character and i will show you the hole in my heart that is them shaped.

PERPETUA | BLASPHEMOUS; she is a ghost she’s possessed she’s been dead the whole time she’s actively plotting against god she’s everything to me

CHLOE FRAZER | UNCHARTED; women 🫶🏻