#Plot twist they're just both high

[greenswing]

So unserious

[dualumina]

Apparently seeing a single Reddit comment mention how something is like Gilead is enough for the brain to decide "let's read the handmaid's wiki page talking about Gilead" and long story short it's been five hours we now know the plot of Handmaid's Tale

[eff-plays]

Ok fine you guys twisted my arm (I say to a completely empty room) here's why I think Mass Effect 2 worked and Veilguard tried to copy it and failed.

First up is the complexity of the goal/plot. In ME2, the end goal was simple: Stop the Collectors from harvesting humans. Blast off through the Omega 4 Relay and probably die. Take down as many Collectors as possible before you die. Basically, shoot stuff until it explodes. It made sense that half of the squadmates were just "legendary badass", "legendary badass (green skin version)" and "legendary badass (huge tits version)." You need to kill dudes, so you pick people who are good at killing. There are a few who are better at tech or science, but they use tech and science to, you guessed it, kill dudes. Then you have a few who join due to aligning goals (Legion) or loyalty to Shepard (Tali, Garrus) or humanity/Cerberus (Jacob, Miranda), or they're literally getting paid to be there (Kasumi and Zaeed). But all of them have reasons to stick around, of various importance.

The specificity of the main plot is also relevant here, because everybody in the galaxy is like "oh humans are getting kidnapped? sucks to suck dude rip in piss ://" so it makes sense to recruit whoever you can get. You need help for an issue that (according to everyone who would otherwise help) only concerns you. So you're like "hey are you good at killing? and do you mind dying?" and most of those freaks go "yeah lmao whatever." They're self-selecting, because the cause is so specific and explicitly suicidal.

The suicidal thing also helps explain the loyalty missions, btw. They're not presented as "hey can you umm help? or I'm gonna be distwacted 👉👈" but as "hey man, these people are willing to die on your command, you should probably help them with their unfinished business at the very least." And yeah, the mechanic of "if you don't help they'll fucking perish" remains the same, but the framing is different. In ME2, you're basically helping a bunch of professionals to do this final thing before they die for your cause. It's both a sign of respect and of consideration for them as people, and strengthens your bond with them and their loyalty to you. The way it's framed means that you don't have to do this in order for them to do their job, but doing it helps strengthen their belief in you.

And because the stakes are relatively low (as far as everyone knows), of course the squadmates will respect and appreciate a Shepard who takes care of them more. Of course it builds loyalty. This person isn't just using you as a meat shield for their pet crusade, they're genuinely trying to do what's right and don't want you to die for nothing.

In Veilguard, you're literally told multiple times that you have to do their dumbfuck busywork or else they're gonna throw in the towel. Hey man can you do this thing? Or else I'm not saving the world :3c The stakes being SO HIGH while their issues are SO NOTHING makes most of them look really immature and incompetent, which clashes against the whole "gang of experts" thing. You're telling me this couldn't wait? I have to go into Lucanis' mind and figure out his traumas or else he won't ... hold a knife good? And that will doom the world because he's the only guy who can hold a knife? Okay???

ME2 presents everybody as professionals and experts in their field, but at the end of the day, they're just there to kill stuff. Remove one, and another will be found. The mission is (as far as everyone in power knows) not galaxy-threatening yet, so finding new guys to help would be easy. That's why Shep taking the time to solve their final issues means something and why it earns their loyalty. It shows that Shep cares about them as people.

Veilguard presents these people as experts in their fields, too. They're considered irreplacable in this conflict. And the conflict is saving the whole entire fucking world. And YET, that has to take a backseat to them figuring out what happened to a work colleague or Lucanis' grandma, because none of these experts can take a fucking chill pill to SAVE THE WORLD.

ME2 offers "low" stakes for the conflict and high stakes for the characters, so when it focuses on the characters' stories, it makes sense. You get the impression that it's character drama with a common goal that brings them all together. Veilguard offers high stakes for the plot and low stakes for the characters, but still focuses on the characters, so you get the sense that we're fucking around playing therapist while the world is on fire in the background, and it's presented as totally logical, because these guys can't save the world without a clear mind!! Despite being ... experts in their fields.

That's why, to me, Rook feels like a therapist while Shep feels like a leader.

Anyway, this is the formal end of the post but I wrote more on the specific character motivations of the Veilguard and why they don't work/feel trite to me and how that adds to Rook feeling like they're a therapist but it didn't fit with the rest of the post so under cut.

Another thing is that, while sometimes the problems of the Veilguard are technically higher stakes than the problems of the ME2 squad, there is a sense of "Hey do you actually need me for this?" And that I think is in part to the lacking motivations of the Veilguard. It's so unclear why some of them stick around that it becomes difficult to justify why they wouldn't just leave to fix their own issues.

(For example, Garrus asks us to help kill a guy. The guy isn't dangerous, he's not out there killing people or in possession of a superweapon ready to destroy a city. He's just an asshole and Garrus wants revenge. He could, technically, leave and just kill the guy himself. He knows where the guy is, so what's holding him back? Well, the job is. And Shepard is. Garrus wants Shep's help, because he doesn't trust himself to finish it on his own. He needs somebody to rely on, but he also knows that he can't just leave without Shep's permission, and that Shep needs him, too. Everything is on Shep's schedule, and there's no real time limit. His revenge can wait until Shep is ready to offer their help.

Neve is hunting an old rival who is a blood mage threatening to enslave her favorite city in all da world. It's pretty damn high stakes. But in my playthrough, Neve wasn't counting on Rook's help at all. In fact, she explicitly mentioned several times that she didn't. Yet, she still sat around and waited for their help. She didn't leave to deal with this on her own, didn't even consider it. But why not? What about Rook or this cause is keeping her there, especially since there's canonically time before the next big move and the issue is so high-stakes and pressing? People will die if she doesn't do something, yet she's sitting on her ass waiting for Rook, whose help she isn't counting on, to step up? What???)

Neve is introduced as being hired by Varric to find Solas, which she does. In the tutorial mission. She sticks around after Varric dies because ... she's in too deep now, I guess. She has to help save the world, you see. Even though all she wants is to go back to Minrathous and protect the people there. She wants your help to. Figure out some stuff. The famous big city detective needs the help of a person who's introduced as somebody who "thinks in straight lines" and whose nickname is probably a play on "rookie." She is not getting paid for this. She's doing this out of the kindness of her heart, even though most of her time on screen is spent dreaming of her favorite city in da world. She's not an expert in anything that has to do with the current plot, so she's in-fiction not really vital to keep around. Her role as a mage is made entirely pointless by the existence of Bellara and Emmrich. Supposedly her area of expertise is in blood magic ... despite hating it and not actually practicing it, on account of it being bad and evil. So she's an expert in killing blood mages, then?

Well, no. That's Lucanis. He's the resident mage killer ... who we find in an underwater prison, guarded by blood mages. I get there is a reason for why he was defeated, but the optics aren't great, ya know? We don't really free him as much as we lightly distract his guards, so he can bust out of the prison fully clothed and armored. He's suuper eager for revenge, but he's also been forcefully possessed. But that's okay, because we need his expertise for um. Killing mages. Which is what the Evanuris are. So this random possessed human guy will know better than anybody else how to kill the Evanuris. Sure. He decides to stick around on account of ... the Crows always finishing a contract. Who is paying him? Who is paying the Crows? His gam-gam ordered him to stay, she's basically offering us his services for freeing him. Guy is an indentured servant but acts like it's his choice, like it's an honor thing and not his grandma putting him in the toilet. And when it's time for him to show/offer his expertise in the field, he says "How am I supposed to fight a cloud?" which is fair enough, sure. But have you not fought mages before? Do you not have any reference for them doing weird shit at all? Do you not know how to disrupt rituals, break barriers? In the end, all he can practically do is hold the special knife and attempt to stick the pointy end into his target. Which my rogue Rook or Davrin or Taash chould've done. But gam-gam says to sit so he sits! It's not a very compelling motivation for this epic expert mage killer to just kinda. Stick around out of obligation. It could've been interesting, if he chafed against it or had to be won over, but he's just fine with it. It's treated as natural that this dude, who isn't even slightly an actual expert and is just a glorified knife holder and who isn't practically useful in any sense of the word, is still in the group. It's treated as natural that Rook has to go out of their way to help him clear his mind so he can hold the knife better next time, instead of just finding another guy to hold the knife. Maybe the spirit in him makes him stronger and more capable of fighting mages? No, the spirit is what made him miss in the first place, actually! So you have to help him figure it out or he'll miss again. DON'T ask somebody else to hold the knife though. It HAS TO BE Lucanis. Because he's the mage killer expert. Who missed. And can't handle mages.

Then we have Taash, who we need to kill the blighted dragons. They're the only dragon hunter around and have an encyclopedic knowledge of said dragons. Unfortunately the blighted state of the dragons that are actually necessary to kill are behaving in unexpected and different ways from normal dragons. They're literally manipulated by the Evanuris to be harder to kill. Making Taash's expertise moot. I didn't even have them in my party when I took on two dragons at once, and in fact the only dragons that Taash is presented as capable of killing are ones that they want us to kill. So this expert we recruit mostly introduces more dragons for us to kill that aren't actually threatening us in any way. The main time Taash has to show off their knowledge is when we use the dragon trap ... which was fashioned by Wardens. Who are all trained specifically to fight Archdemons. Who are dragons. That are blighted. Do you uh. Do you see my problem here. Taash also sticks around the Veilguard for inexplicable reasons. Mostly it seems they don't want to go home to their mother, which is fine, but this is a whole-ass adult, supposedly. They could go back to hunting dragons for the Lords, because they're written as too self-absorbed to really care about stepping up to the fight just for the sake of it. So despite them not really being useful in any way to the overall plot, we still have to help them figure out their gender identity, or else they won't be able to ... fight the blighted dragons. Which they couldn't fight. On account of the blight. Cool cool cool.

Then we have Emmrich, who is a professor and has shit to do. He is also presented as a Fade expert, while Bellara is somehow not, despite doing most of the Fade-related and artifact-related magic on-screen. Emmrich joins the Veilguard on account of um. Well we asked nicely, and he's a good guy, so he has to help save the world. Despite the fact that he's terrified of dying. Which he's far more likely to do after leaving his job. And the thing is, yeah, "the world might end so we need to stop that!" is a valid motivation, but if we accept it as the motivation of a central character whose plot we must find compelling, then why is it that it's only a few guys trying to save the world? This conflict is prestented as bigger than all the previous games combined, bigger than (the) Inquisition, which had literally entire armies and different branches and infrastructure for it's "smaller" conflict, and people were still volunteering and joining in droves, but here we're 8 guys? Are we meant to believe Emmrich's willingness to join the Veilguard is somehow unique to him, and that nobody else in the world would volunteer to join? When Harding exists, on the same team?

Speaking of, Harding is a character who can really get away with "I wanna save the world", because her joining the Inquisition is literally how she got into the plot in the first place. She's a joiner. She joins heroic causes. So her having this sort of bare-bones but noble motivation works. Same with Davrin. Bellara seems to join out of both curiosity and guilt, which are interesting enough reasons and come through visibly in her subplot and characterization, but more importantly, she doesn't have anything holding her back that might take priority until she finds out her brother is alive. Her sticking around also makes some sense because she's ya know. An elf mage Fade expert. Or sorry an elf artifacts expert.

I'm not saying "somebody's gotta do it!" or "it's the right thing to do!" aren't valid motivations, they clearly are, but there's gotta be more to it, especially when it comes to characters who have something to lose like Emmrich. My guy is terrified of death but he's such a good dude that he jumps into this life-threatening conflict without a second thought? But then gets so "distracted" by his wacky scientist former colleague that he needs our help figuring it out? Huh???

Um. I didn't have a conclussy for this part of the post so. bye

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

✨Staticmoth wedding headcanons✨

Because I have a lot of thoughts but can't come up with the plot to turn it into fic

✨ Vox absolutely loses his shit. You would think that Valentino would be a groomzilla material but oh no no, Val just wants sexy dress and enough coke to last three days of partying. Vox needs everything perfect. He has his grand vision and is ready to tear with bare hands everyone who does not deliver. During the preparation time, he murders as many people as Val usually does. Velvette bails on being the wedding planner after just two weeks because it was seriously straining their friendship. But after a month, she's back in the game. Why? Because Vox strangled three other wedding planners in frustration, and things weren't moving forward, so Val was starting to freak out.

✨ The event is held at the Vees' Tower. I reckon they've got a venue suitable for hosting conferences and porn award shows.

✨ It's a grand event. I'm talking Grand™, like the Kim K and Kanye West of Hell kind of grand. But it's also elite, so the guest list isn't that long, around 200 invited people plus 50 ticketed spots for anyone willing to drop 100k hellish bucks to attend. Everything is dripping with gold and diamonds because "quiet luxury" isn't in the Vees' vocabulary. The whole affair reflects Val's aesthetic more, as it's Vox's love letter to him. Vox already had his wedding, and now it's time to fulfill his husband's dreams. So Val makes about 90% of the decisions without shouldering any real responsibilities. Which is fine by everyone because he's annoying as hell when it comes to picking roses, flamingo feathers, and starters. Nobody wants to put him in high-stress situations. Expect lots of red, pink, and gold, with heavy, decadent fabrics and neon lights; it's like an exclusive brothel meets the Las Vegas strip.

✨ When it comes to flowers, they settled on roses because they're Vox's favorites, which naturally made them Val's favorite too, given the sheer number of bouquets he's received. Vox, being the freak he is, counts every single bouquet he's ever given to Val. So, for their wedding, he ensures there are twice as many roses. Yes, he's a pathological overachiever.

✨ As for attractions, there’s a plethora of erotic dancers in cages and mesmerizing drone light shows. Karaoke, slot machines, live cooking stations, and all the drugs you can imagine. And let's not forget a fountain flowing with tequila. It's a true adult wonderland.

✨ Valentino skips the whole white dress thing and rocks a fierce red latex gown that's very Mugler but with a fetishcore twist. Vox keeps it sleek in a sharp black three-piece suit. His shirt's a bold blue, and his tie matches Val's dress. His shoulder pads are pointy, his waist is slutty, his ass looks divine. Oh yeah, about slutty waist - underneath the shirt he is hiding a leather corset, as a treat for the wedding night.

✨ Also none of them really have friends other than Velvette, just associates so there are no groomsmen/maids.

✨ Since there aren't any traditional churches or government officials in Hell (if there's even a government at all), Velvette takes on the role of officiating the wedding. Vox isn't entirely thrilled with this choice because there's always the risk she might crack a joke or publicly rib him, but hey, there's really no one else who could pull it off. I imagine that a wedding in Hell is also some form of magical contract but more about partnership than ownership. They do not exchange rings but blood sksksk also I don’t think that Vox can really wear rings with his claws? And they couldn't quite agree on a design that satisfied both of them. In the end, Val ends up wearing his illegally imported engagement ring from Earth, featuring four pink diamonds shaped like a moth's wings.

✨ Val's vow is, well, atrocious. It's the kind of thing that would definitely land him in one of those TikTok compilations of terrible grooms ruining their weddings. He mentions cream pieing Vox at least once. Vox at first freaks out but seconds later realizes Wow that's the man I'm marrying. I wouldn't want him any other way On the flip side, Vox's vow is immaculate. Crafted with the assistance of Voxtek's CMO and practiced to perfection, it leaves everyone in awe. He has out-of-body experience playing this role of prince charming.

✨ For their first dance, they opt for a steamy tango. Picture this: swirling red smoke on the floor, making it seem like they're dancing on the sky of the pride ring when the sun is setting down. Little do the guests know, the smoke is laced with drugs, sending most of them on a wild trip. The party quickly goes off the rails, but in the best way possible (according to the Vees’ standards).

✨ The cake is a five-tier monstrosity with five different flavors: tres leches and chocolate-cherry chosen by Val, confetti cake and strawberry cheesecake chosen by Vox and Red Velvet for Velvette because she couldn't shut up about it To top it all off, there's a big chocolate figure of Vox and Valentino dancing. Val is later caught drunk, eating it with his bare hands like the filthy animal he is.

✨ Velvette’s wedding gift is a pair of customized matching guns with small engravings that read "Partners in Crime."

✨ Valentino pulls off a surprise special pole dance performance as a wedding gift for his husband. Let's just say it's scorching hot and leaves at least 50 guests with, uh, visible excitement. Later on, things almost escalate to a full-on table bang, but...

✨ Velvette spends the entire evening reminding them that they can't just vanish to consummate their marriage because this whole party took months of preparations, and they need to be present. After all, people paid good money to be around them. The threat of cock cages hangs over their heads, but they promise to behave. However, Val being the horny beast he is, ends up taking Vox to the bathroom for a quickie anyway. Velvette decides to let it slide this time.

✨ At least 20 casualties mark the night. Vox ends up zapping one of the guests who gets a bit too clingy with Val during the dance. Meanwhile, Val gets into a brawl and, well, let's just say it doesn't end well for the other guy. Surprisingly, everyone seems to be having a great time, but hey, these are the Vees' colleagues we're talking about—they thrive on violence and sex.

✨ Yeah, there's no shortage of sex at this party. With a guest list mainly consisting of businesspeople, adult performers, and mobsters, tensions escalate rapidly. By around 3 A.M., half of the party is busy getting down and dirty in every corner imaginable.

✨ When Vox reaches the perfect level of drunkenness, he seizes control of the DJ station. Surprisingly, he's a natural, dropping beats like a pro and having an absolute blast. Val, meanwhile, goes absolutely wild watching him, thrilled to see Vox letting loose and embracing his creative side.

✨ Derek, Vox's assistant, is the odd one out, the only low-status person to snag an invite because Vox felt kinda generous. But truth be told, Derek hates the idea and wasn't keen on attending. However, when Melissa caught wind of his invitation, she practically dragged him there to be his plus one, desperate to get closer to Velvette. Derek's terrified of most of the guests, but Melissa's over the moon. She later fucks him as a reward for being a very brave boy. Angel is not invited because he would ruin mood of both grooms.

✨ Valentino had prepared the filthiest, kinkiest, most elaborate wedding night, but it doesn't go as planned. Surprisingly, things turn out very vanilla for their standards, with a lot of missionary, eye contact, and hand-holding. After 16 hours of non-stop action, they're both too exhausted to even think about getting creative.

Thank you @purrpleowl @watcherofeternalflame @canadianlucifer @aroromantic @malu897 @staticmothed @chaggieslovechild @gumm1defloor @mayflowersfly for your thoughts!

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Only Boo!

*kicks down the door* I'm a few weeks late but I have arrived and I am here to yell about this fucking adorable show. Have you heard that it's the cutest shit you've ever seen in a fresh new package of all your favorite silly old romance tropes? Besties, this is truly the Sunday Serotonin we need. Here are the top 10 things I love about it:

The main romance is between a confident sunshine protagonist and a kind older boy working through his grief and an artistic block. Mok (Moo) and Kang are such nice boys, two cinnamon rolls too sweet and pure for this world, and I loved them instantly. They have a nice crackly chemistry between them and really solid communication right from the start.

The setting is rural and refreshing. Moo moves to Nakhom Pathom to attend school for a semester because his mom wants him to focus on his studies before she will allow him to pursue a career as an idol. Little did she know she was delivering him to a cute boy who would become the new distraction.

The crushing and flirting starts immediately, and it's mutual. They just like each other, man. Kang is (slightly) older and trying to be responsible about keeping Moo focused on his studies so he's putting up some token resistance, but it's very very token. They both find excuses to keep seeing each other after they meet.

There's a side couple with a long-term pining friends to lovers arc. The way I squealed when they revealed that photo wall. I support you, Payos, you will get your boo. These two also have a lovely, easy chemistry and seem so comfortable around each other. Their characterization also gets a fun twist in the beginning of the story.

The writing is strong and assured. This was written by the same screenwriting team as Cooking Crush, aka the best written original Thai bl of last season. These folks know their way around a smart romcom. They know how to deploy classic tropes so they feel fresh, build authentic character arcs, and make all the beats of the story feel confident. We are in good hands and don't need to worry about any out of left field conflicts or weird plot turns with this one.

A fresh new cast brings a ton of energy. I really love all four of the main actors for this show. They're young and bright and breathing some new life into an old formula. And both pairs have solid chemistry and seem comfortable in their scenes together.

Some of our old favorites are here too. They've made the smart decision to bolster the young main cast by surrounding them with more experienced seniors like our lady Milk, here playing Kang's friend and neighbor who is all up in his crush on Moo. Louis and Book are also going to show up at some point.

The show incorporates music and dancing in such a charming way. Moo is one of those kids who just has to dance, and the show mines a lot of comedy around his efforts to stifle the impulse as his mom ordered. I don't think he'll hold out for long, though, because Payos and Tae are on him to train with them. And of course the music supervisor is having a great time working in some classic GMMTV music gags (yes, Love Score and Too Cute To Handle both make memorable appearances).

It's a high school story brimming with youthful energy without being mired in immaturity. The tone of this show reminds me of My School President in the best way, in that it has all the sweetness and innocence of a high school romance without making the characters so immature and bad at communication that it's annoying to watch. As expected from the CC writers, these characters may be inexperienced but they are going to talk to each other and honesty will prevail every time.

We are only three episodes in and the romance is already well underway. This is the kind of show where we will see the main pair flirt and date and face obstacles together. The swoony moments started immediately and Moo is already throwing around the faen title. We know from the synopsis that the core conflict will come when Moo is forced to choose between his relationship with Kang and his dream of being an idol, and I expect he will be finding a way around that choice. I'll be strapped in for the ride because I already believe in these two.

[rayroseu]

💚Mallevan/Levanoa Headcanons (2/?)

PART 01 PART 02⬇️

you guys dont know how often i brainrot about these couple who never even talked in game yet KDJAKSK

Am glad to see that Levan's receiving the "Yuusona treatment" because of the various ways that twst artists draws him lolol

• • • Headcanon 2.

Malenoa is the strongest of the trio. Because she is a royalty, she is much more knowledgeable about magic— particularly if its related to dragons. Naturally, she became kind of like a magical tutor to both Levan and Lilia when they were children.

i really like the thought of eastern dragons in TWST🥰 its a nice foreshadow that Levan is a Long bcs thats Malleus' Halloween costume✨

(if its really like that,,,, im going to cry bcs that means Malleus dressed up like his papa who he never knew 💔😭)

(also I'm praying with all my heart he's not some plot twist jerk in game like King Stefan from Maleficent 1 😭)

I think dragons are rare on TWST not only because they're really particular on their mates but also because raising one is extremely high maintainance.

Its 1: life threatening to the caretaker, 2: needs constant attention and love, 3: once it grows up, you even need to withstand its tantrums and emotions (who are btw magically powered) 😭💥

That's why I think ??? there's limited knowledge about mediating their power (so they just get stuck in this cycle of being the strongest but that very strength can bring disaster bcs its uncontrollable)

Thus, I thought of Malenoa being Levan's friend who teaches him about controlling his draconic powers because Levan doesn't really want to accidentally harm others because of his uncontrollable strength--✨✨✨

I like to think its because of Levan's pacifist nature that Land of Briar chose to have war treatiest first instead of just crushing the Silver Owls through Malenoa's military strength. He's aware that killing off humans would just make them more hostile to faes in general, and I don't think both Malenoa and Levan wants Malleus to grow up in war once he hatches-

—

Levan's fire is purple because I remember getting surprised when Overblot Malleus used that on his attack despite Land of Briar/Malenoa (?) being "mainly green colored" all this time...

So, I think that's one magic he got from his father??? because most of his features already derives from Malenoa (horns, tail, magic (i think his green fire is from Malenoa), straight hair, etc)

The purple fire might've originate from Malleus' mastery of void magic (I hc their dorm spells' element are their forte magic and Dorm Malleus is double void card) but we've never seen void magic used like a fire... its usually like an energy beam right? I think it was so exciting when he attacked like that💜👆‼️✨ (I literally squealed lol its so pretty?? but I know I'll die from that lol)

I love the thought that Lilia is the "mom friend"/"sensible friend" of this trio... 😂 because he says hes the one constantly working for these couple... mostly to deal with their antics lol

plus Lilia is literally the sole person working for Levan and Malenoa to meet together right now---

since Levan's missing and Malenoa can’t really leave the castle since she’s guarding unhatched Malleus--- and its just a bad move to send the best queen on the frontlines when they can just send Lilia yk 😆

i hope we get more dragon egg lore and also specifically egg malleus reveal🙌🙌 like how do THEY take care of a dragon egg anyway.... do they put it on cradles as well like human babies??? or their parents will hold them since they require vast amount of love-

i'd used to think malleus backstory would be his child self being lonely (which in the future might??? but for now?? his backstory is literally just him being an egg and all of us are crying over an egg JDHJWJD 😭😭😭

[ninainthetardis]

Just something I need to get off my chest

I really think that series like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, fantasy novels with high stakes focused plots addressed to children, should be romance free. They would be so much better without any romance in it.

I mean, as a young reader, I was just there for the action, the magic, the adventure, the plot twists, the plot itself, the characters as individuals, some of their friendships... that kind of stuff in general. I didn't give a sh*t about romance, not even when I grew up and became a teenager. And those are books meant for children and younger readers, right? So, I'm going to share the opinion I had when I was younger (the one I have now would be much harsher, not to mention much longer).

Now, all the romance in HP bored me to death; most of it didn't even make sense. I just wanted to know Voldemort's back story and then proceed to see how they were going to destroy the horcruxes, you know? And yes, I get it, they're teens at that point and it's realistic they have love interests, etc etc etc, except it felt like that author (*insert disgusted emoticon here*) only chose those couples to make all the characters related by the end of the series and none amongst the relationships was really developed to make any sense or look good. Take Hermione and Ron. They'd have zero chances to work irl. Be honest. But mostly, they're lame, boring, casual, rushed pairings with no development whatsoever (thankfully, I dare to add), usually involving characters who are not compatible at all/in the long run.

This is about the canon, but moving on to the fanon ships (Dramione/Drarry), I don't think that that author would have been able to write enemies to lovers properly (I'd add the plus: involving an LGBTQ+ couple, for the Drarry). The sole idea of any of it gives me the ick. Like no. Thanks, but no thanks.

About the PJ ships, on the other hand... they are a mess. None of them is even remotely good. They're all just a total mess, featuring the following problems:

Weird/creepy age gaps

Toxic behaviour

Emotional abuse

Physical abuse

Disrespectful behaviour

Judgemental behaviour

Disregard/dimishment of other characters' trauma

Isolation of characters from other characters they care about/may meet and befriend

Pairings of characters who are not exactly compatible/would never work in long term relationships

Glossing over problematic stuff, which is a big problem considering the audience the books are aimed at

Also, when they get together, some of them are still KIDS. KIDS!

(Fanon ships also fall under some of these points)

In both cases, it's not even like they are necessary to the plot. The funny thing here is that these stories would flow much better without those parts. What's the point of forcing romance into a story where so much is already going on, which leaves little to no space to develop things properly, and in which such romance has actually no purpose?

No romance at all is better than sloppily executed romance. And not every story needs romance in it to be compelling. Especially if they're meant for kids and are full of magic, action and adventure.

A better exploration of the characters and their trauma would have been much more interesting for me to read as kid who became a teenager while the series were coming out, instead of reading cheap romance while the characters were, well, you know, fighting wars and dealing with tons of sh*t.

[theostrophywife]

Could you please do a soft fluffy az/reader where they spend a rainy day in bed reading together? Maybe they're newly mated ?

Ty and I Love your work 🥹

rain clouds.

as strange as it seems, she's endless to me she's just like paperwork, but harder to read she knows me so well, she knows me like i know myself

author's note: as it happens, it's currently raining where i'm at which makes for perfect reading weather so this request is spot on. i'm honestly so soft for this concept and i also threw in a little bit of cheeky az in there.

song inspiration: she by ed sheeran.

Rainy days in Velaris were your absolute favorite.

As the storm rolled in, you watched as droplets of rain pelted the glass windowpane of your bedroom and covered the city of starlight in a soft, cloudy haze.

While High Fae and faeries alike took shelter from the torrential wind and weather, you and your mate took the opportunity to participate in one of your favorite past times—reading in bed.

It had been Azriel's idea to assemble a makeshift nest, gathering pillows and blankets to make your reading nook as cozy as possible. As the two of you cocooned yourselves in bed, the faelights that you'd twined through the headboard twinkled, creating the perfect ambience for a day of leisurely reading.

At present, Azriel was leaning against the cushions, his wings relaxed and draped over his back as he cracked open yet another mystery book. Your mate held the tome in one hand while stroking your hair in the other. You sprawled out across his lap with your nose buried in Sellyn Drake's latest release, which Nesta had kindly let you borrow from her impressive collection.

The steady pitter patter of the rain outside mixed with the shadowsinger's soft breathing filled the room, providing soothing background noise as you delved into the steamy romance novel. Every once in a while, Azriel would lean over to kiss your forehead, nose, or cheek just because he could. The fond gesture melted your heart.

It had only been a couple of months since you both accepted the mating bond, so you were still adjusting to the fact that this beautiful male was yours and yours alone. You smiled up at him, nestling further into his lap while cheekily slipping your fingers underneath his cream cable knit sweater. Azriel felt warm and solid beneath your touch as you traced patterns upon his golden brown skin. The pads of your fingers brushed over every mole, scar, and freckle with a sort of reverence as you committed the feel of your mate to memory.

The shadowsinger sighed in satisfaction. You grinned up at him as his fingers stilled against your scalp. He paused his reading and mirrored the gesture, ensnaring you with the warmth and joy radiating from him. The weather might be dark and gloomy outdoors, but in here, within the private walls of your bedchambers, you had your own little pocket of sunshine in the form of your mate’s smile.

You intertwined your hand in his and brought his scarred fingers up to your lips, kissing each knuckle as your mate blushed. He pressed a kiss to your temple as you returned to your reading. You spent the rest of the day like that, tangled up in one another, lost to your own stories but still anchored by each other’s presence.

The storm continued outside and the only conversation exchanged between you came in the form of Azriel’s occasional gasp which told you when he’d come across a twist in his novel. You chuckled softly until your own book beckoned your attention.

Thank the Cauldron for Nesta and her impeccable taste. The smut in the book had you blushing and curling your toes, but that was to be expected from your friend’s recommendations. A particularly steamy scene involving a headboard and a few creative positions sent a rush of heat to your cheeks. The shift did not go unnoticed by your mate.

Azriel’s voice was low and husky, it’s usual cool timbre scratchy from disuse. “Come across something interesting, my love?”

You nodded slowly. “The plot thickens.”

Your mate raised an amused brow. “I’m sure.”

The mischief in his tone didn’t register as your eyes stayed glued onto the page, eating up every filthy detail with fervor. You hadn’t even noticed Azriel setting his book down until he was gathering you up in his arms. He pulled you into his lap and nuzzled you from behind, his chin resting on the crook of your shoulder.

“Hi,” he breathed.

You chuckled, kissing his cheek. “Hi, baby.”

“What are you reading?”

Blushing fiercely and suddenly conscious of the absolute eroticism that you were devouring without blinking, you attempted to wriggle out of your mate’s lap. “Nothing.”

Azriel caught you by the waist. “I doubt that nothing would illicit such a response,” he teased. “You’re beet red, my love. What’s got my mate so riled up, hmm?”

“The romance is just really well written, that’s all.”

“Oh?” Your mate tossed your hair to the side as you inhaled sharply. His lips ghosted over the column of your throat. "I can't say I've had the pleasure of being aroused by literature as much as you are right now."

Azriel was being an absolute tease as he toyed with the straps of your silk nightgown. You hadn’t bothered changing into your normal clothes seeing as how you’d spent the entire day in bed. A choice you’d come to thank yourself for as your mate's hands wandered over the thin material, the brush of his rough, calloused fingers making every fiber of your being come alive. He eased the strap down over your shoulder and grazed your soft skin with wet, open mouthed kisses.

“Tell me about it, angel.”

Your eyes fluttered close as Azriel sucked gently on your collar bone. “I’m sure your book is much more interesting.”

“I beg to differ,” your mate said, smirking into your skin. “My novel doesn’t seem nearly as thrilling as you find yours to be. Naughty girl, am I correct in assuming that you’re reading smut?”

“Maybe,” you coyly replied. “What would you say if I was?”

You squealed as Azriel flipped you over, pinning you underneath him. With his body pressed flush against yours, arousal rippled through the bond from both ends. He pried the book from your hands and carefully set it on your bedside table.

“I’d say, why on earth are you reading smut when you could be acting it out with me instead?”

Gods. You were practically dripping. Reduced to nothing but a puddle of heat and arousal in Azriel’s hands.

The purely predatory look on your mate’s face sent a shiver down your spine. “I think you’ve got it all wrong, Az. You’re the naughty one, not me.”

Azriel pinned your wrists above your head and looked at you like you were a spread of his favorite dishes. His wings flared behind his back and you got the sense that you were really in for it now. “You have no idea, my love. But don’t worry, I’m about to show you.”

[raayllum]

What do you think is the narrative, thematic and symbolic relevance of Claudia's amputation and prosthesis?

There's a few, I think, both in how the actual amputation happened, and then how the show handles things with her actual prosthetic.

The amputation:

Claudia is drinking and using a spell that uses her own blood. In arc 2, she increasingly takes on more animalistic forms with her dark magic (snake spell, wings, the tentacles). This mirrors how she's increasingly cannibalizing herself and treating herself as spell parts, as well as themes of fragmentation ("How are we going to move it?" "In pieces" / "We're all that's left of our family, and I'm not going to let anything break us apart" / "Our family was shattered forever"). She may not realize that's what she's doing with herself - dark magic is an extension of herself and her power - but that is what she's doing, hence having a 'dark magic leg' cut off but with real lasting consequences.

There's also the element of Rayla and her brutality that comes into play. Rayla nearly lost a hand in trying to save Zym and usher in peace, which is why she got to - narratively and literally - keep it. Meanwhile Claudia is going down an increasingly dark path, so she loses it, just as her assault on Ibis led her to injure her leg with her dark magic flask. That's not to say becoming disabled is a narrative punishment, but it does showcase how she's putting herself in 1) increasingly dangerous situations for 2) increasingly dangerous people and 3) always by herself. This is contrasted by how the trio wins because they have each other VS Terry (+ Claudia's support system) being regulated to the shore.

Rayla in arc 2 is walking her usual razor's edge of on the one hand being increasingly open and empathetic / letting her compassion shine through - which is a good thing - while being hands down more violent than she was in arc 1. She left to hunt down Viren and recognized it'd gotten twisted into revenge, much like her first mission, and gave this one up without a dragon's egg to change her; she held Terry hostage (although whether she would've hurt him is unknown, but the threat was there!), abandons the drake when Soren doesn't, and cuts off Claudia's leg, etc. We even see this with her actually agreeing to kill Callum if he's possessed again (6x03). All this is, I think, there to create room for the possession plot line to take centre stage in S7 as her own 'dark path' as an assassin will be challenged and likely, finally, put entirely to rest. (Arc 2 opening with her failing to kill a high mage and it's a bad thing vs closing with her failing/refusing to kill a high mage and it's a good thing, probably?) And Claudia represents like the middle road of Viren and Callum in some ways, just as Callum is a middle road between Viren and Claudia -- but meta for another day maybe

On a plot level: it's much harder for Claudia to stop and keep up with Viren if she can't fully walk, and it represents how she's continually sacrificed herself and her body for her family's survival (which dark magic is deeply interested in the idea of "bodies as sites of trauma" but again, meta for another day maybe / adjacent metas in my 'dark magic' tag).

As for her prosthetic:

Claudia has always used magic as a crutch, specifically dark magic. She doesn't have to deal with the big scary feelings permanent consequences or 'brokenness' can bring if she can fix it with dark magic. She can "cure" Soren and bring her dad back from the dead, and she expresses confusion or mistrust when those experiences of being paralyzed or dead undoubtedly affect them and change them, especially when it changes in ways that take them away from her. Because if they're not okay, or not here, then she's not okay. Her using her corrupted Sunforge staff, which at this point just represents dark magic in her life tbh, as a literal crutch is what she's been doing emotionally for a while now, which is also why she takes it with her when she leaves Terry. (The fact that it, much like Claudia, is a corrupted light is just the symbolic cherry on top.)

This isn't too dissimilar in terms of framing of how Callum uses magic as a crutch to distract from / avoid his emotions in S4, and how he drops the staff in order to pick up Rayla's sword to embrace those feelings and embrace her. And why Claudia has a moment of likewise dropping her staff to embrace Terry as well; even if he isn't as critical of dark magic as he arguably could/should be, he is still one of Claudia's guiding lights and wants what's best for her.

The prosthetic, then, represents learning to lean on Terry rather than dark magic (which Terry saving her in 6x04 and her staving off dark magic use also reflects) again, quite literally in 6x03. The prosthetic is the literal creation and metaphorical embodiment of Terry's love and faith for her and his connection to nature/primal magic, all things she sorely needs in her life.

TLDR:

The fact that paths and "every step forward is a choice" and "Daddy look I'm following in your footstep" are continually emphasized, I think Claudia losing a leg made a lot of sense symbolically. I think her prosthetic is also very strong symbolically if very straightforward. S6 honestly gave a lot of signals that she's going to be redeemed and this was one of the biggest to me; I'd expect that prosthetic as a symbol of Terry's love for her will either maintain that hope, or help bring it home (making her remember him if they diverge paths or something) and that we'd only be in a big trouble if it got burned to a crisp tbh

[kangals]

ok so here's what we found out from kepler's embark results! buckle up, it's a novel:

to start, i did what i've done for the past 2 embark tests i've sent in, in that when activating the kit i said that my dog was a mixed breed of unknown type, and i opted to not upload a photo beforehand. and like the last 2 times, embark correctly deduced that kep was a purebred collie. so while there's some dna tests out there that definitely suck, i can at least confirm that in my own blind trial, embark got it right 3/3 times. they're great. anyway:

also keeping very in line with being a purebred collie, kep's COI came back at 42% - very high for a typical dog, but dead-on average for a collie. he shares 60% DNA with stellina (despite being on paper second cousins, which should be around 1-2% shared. woe to the collie genepool). he's got a bunch of the same relatives that show up for stellina, which is, again, not surprising. dogs from windcrest, overland, and thistlebrae pop up a lot - if you're familiar with US collie lines, you probably know them.

color traits! kep is confirmed as white-factored, which i was almost certain of based on the pattern of his white markings - you can find more info on it here (referred to as "flashy irish" white) but essentially collies that are white-factored carry the gene for "extreme white" or color-headed white. white is an "incomplete dominant" gene, meaning that one copy affects the dog a little, and two copies affects the dog a lot (remember this term!) two copies of the gene makes the dog almost entirely white (an accepted color in the US, but not the UK/europe i believe), whereas one copy of the gene makes the regular "irish white" markings (the classic white neck ruff and white socks) extend a little further than usual - you'll notice that on kep, his white extends over his shoulders and up to his knees. whereas on stellina (who does not carry the white gene), her white is restricted to her neck, front stockings, and back paws. one of kep's brothers is white, so we knew he likely carried the gene too.

he is confirmed as not a secret merle, though he technically could have been a cryptic/phantom merle - didn't think so, but worth a check.

so all of this is very expected - the health testing is where things get interesting!

embark tests for 265 different genetic health conditions, 4 of which are considered "breed-relevant" for collies: collie eye anomaly (CEA), mdr1 drug sensitivity, degenerative myleopathy (DM), and some immune thing with a long name.

immune thing - clear

DM - clear (not particularly common in collies, but it does show up sometimes and it is a nasty disease)

MDR1 - double copies! this is a recessive gene and kep is mutant/mutant, aka he carries both copies which makes him clinically affected. this is common in collies, as about 60-70% of collies have at least one copy. the good news is this just means we have to avoid/take smaller doses of certain medications and he otherwise shouldn't be impacted by it at all. also his breeder already tested him for this so i already was aware.

CEA - single copy! this is also a recessive gene, which means that kep is not affected/normal-eyed, which is actually pretty uncommon! it's estimated that between 70-85% of collies are affected by CEA (yes, the gene literally called collie eye is common in collies. wow.). i also was already aware of this since he was already tested (worth mentioning that if you buy a collie puppy in the US, a screening by an ophthalmologist to check for CEA is required by the breed club).

and then the plot twist:

embark tells me "oh hey, btw, there's two other genes you should know about"

"your dog has one copy of the gene for accumulating copper toxicosis"

fucking what

so yeah, after a lot of reading into this: there's a gene called ATP7B that's almost exclusively found in labradors, goldens, and dobermans which affects a dog's ability to filter out copper. excessive amounts of copper start to build up in the liver, and if it gets to be too much it can cause liver disease, failure, and neurological problems. remember when we talked about white and white-factored dogs, several thousands words ago? ATP7B is also an incomplete dominant gene - one copy affects the dog a little, two copies affects a lot. kep has one copy, which in theory means he is at no risk, mild risk, or moderate risk of developing copper storage disease in his life. not devastating, but not ideal.

the plot thickens!

kep also tested positive for the gene called ATP7A, which as far as i can tell is like the exact opposite of ATP7B (i know, the names suck). see, ATP7B causes copper to accumulate. but ATP7A has been shown to cause a copper deficiency. it's also incompletely dominant, so one copy impacts a little, and two copies (should) impact a lot - and kep has both copies of ATP7A.

so: kep has one of the "too much copper" genes... but he has also two of the "too few copper" genes. and studies seem to suggest that the two genes have a neutralizing effect on each other if they're both present in one dog - basically, they cancel each other out.

there's a handful of studies looking at the effects of these genes on dogs, but they basically exclusively focus on labradors and dobermans - one UC davis study even suggested that these genes might not even have an effect on other breeds. i could find absolutely no literature about these genes in collies, or even in herding breeds in general. embark helpfully added that they don't have enough data on this gene in other breeds to claim if they had any effect. the genes also appear to be sex-linked, and affect females moreso than males. one study on labradors suggested that although many dogs tested were carriers of ATP7B, few dogs were clinically affected, which would say that perhaps its not uncommon for dogs with only one copy to not be impacted.

(i'm also wondering if perhaps this could be the case for kep - given that he has 2 copies of ATP7A, he had to inherit one from each parent. given that these genes aren't regularly tested for in collies, is it possible that some lines carry them and are just clinically unaffected? it may be entirely incidental.)

so essentially, he does have one gene that may be nothing, or may cause mild-moderate issues as an older adult/senior. he also has two copies of that gene's natural neutralizer, and is male, and comes from clinically unaffected dogs. so... i think in retrospect, it's something to note on his chart and keep an eye on, but the odds seem to be very stacked in the favor of him either not being affected, or having only mild affects later down the line. could be a nothingburger, might be a little-somethingburger, unlikely to be a seriousburger.

that being said: i am VERY glad i decided to do this test! obviously i knew what breed he was, and his breeder had already tested him for the most collie-relevant conditions, so this was done on more of a whim, but it turned up this potentially important result that i now know to investigate. you'll hear a lot about how breeders who just do embark, or pawprints, or etc aren't doing complete genetic testing, because so many of the diseases these tests screen for aren't breed-relevant and lots of other conditions aren't testable. which is true. 265 genes and only 4 are considered for collies! but once in a blue moon, one of those random other genes will indeed flag, as is the case here.

so yeah: very interesting results! breed, COI, relatives, color, and most of the health is exactly as expected. but boy that one little health bit really threw me for a loop.

[utilitycaster]

What is the d20 meltdown about? 👀 If you don't mind getting into it

I literally don't know other than vague shit because I'm semi-avoiding spoilers. I'm making this nonrebloggable because we're in pure speculation country.

From what I have gathered, people are mad because I think the Bad Kids kill the Rat Grinders (another adventuring group that's been set up as their bitter, jealous rivals from the start) and they want...redemption or some shit? This is absurd to me like this party was set up as The Enemy from the start.

I am 4 episodes behind so I can't speak to this, and also I admittedly have a rather low opinion of the D20 fandom at large for a number of reasons despite being a big fan of D20 shows, but: I just by chance watched the scene that I would say counts as a point of no return for at least some the Rat Grinders. Like, actually some of the most villainous shit I've seen on this show amplified by how petty and small and purely fueled by jealousy the motivation is.

My guess as to why the D20 fandom is, per whispers on the wind/texting my brother who is caught up/talking to friends not avoiding spoilers, having a meltdown about it is because people have this idea of Brennan Lee Mulligan always making capitalism the BBEG, or occasionally religion or politics.

That is untrue. He does hate capitalism, and that is a theme in the (real-world-ish set) Unsleeping City, but ultimately the thing Brennan sees as the villain is a willingness to hurt, exploit, and dehumanize others for your own goals and benefit. Capitalism and religious corruption are two major examples of this, but in the end, the worst thing you can do is kill people out of a desire for power, or attention, or spite. What Brennan truly hates is what we on Tumblr call a tar pit.

Now. My much more pointed analysis? Kipperlily (and presumably the other Rat Grinders) are deeply entitled people jealous of the Bad Kids, who aren't as academically strong at times but who have leveled up through saving the world at least three times. How many people does killing rats so much that you hit the high levels of D&D save? or even help? Like congrats, you're level 14 from killing rats real good. These guys stopped the fucking Night Yorb. Of course they get the fame and glory, you entitled, self-absorbed little brats. Do you not understand how this fucking works? This is underscored by the fact that they've definitely murdered at least one of their own and almost certainly two (and a teacher to boot) at least in part to get at the Bad Kids.

And herein lies my feeling as to why the D20 fandom is really melting down. Because the loudest and most unpleasant contingent (which is probably why the server is, ultimately, shutting down all discussion channels) have always struck me as entitled self-absorbed little brats who demand precisely what they want when they want it (and also have the literary analysis skills on par with the 3/4ths of a stick of Monterey Jack cheese currently in my fridge) and they're seeing, in real time, that in this story, they're the villain.

But: I haven't seen the next 4 episodes and I could be getting the details of the plot wrong (not the first 15 episodes though, and I do not think the Rat Grinders are going to make the world's best Heel-Face turn in 3-4 episodes, and at this point they're so clearly the villains that to deny it is to admit truly earth-shattering levels of stupidity) and so: nonrebloggable. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend though on both the show and the hot goss, and if I'm right this will become rebloggable.

ETA: I am caught up making this rebloggable but I'm actually more confused, because as my posts indicated this was not even like, edgy. Like I assumed maybe there was a twist where the Rat Grinders appeared to regret their actions or something but failed to do anything about it, making this a little bittersweet? but no there literally was nothing, they went into the final battle still like hell yeah we're going to be the living worst.

[neciebee]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

17445. I just a baby.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

6:- 5 one-shots and a drabble

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I really only write short one-shots, but two of them deserve a bit of fleshing out in a follow-up or three

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

I Need You was the first thing I wrote that has a possible continuation. I was obsessed with the idea of forcing the acceptance of the mating bond, and the subsequent fallout. More to come, hopefully! The muses bit me hard that day. Thank you, @mistandmemories, for popping my sprinting cherry!

Probably not what the question is asking, but I'm also pretty proud of some of the comments I leave on my favourite fics! (FUCK YOU, TESSALANTERN, and 🌈DENIAL SOUP!!!🏳️‍🌈 stand out as my favourites.) It takes a lot to digest so many plotlines and such incredible writing, and the live-reacts help me process the amazing stories that we've been blessed with. These authors put so much into their work, and I enjoy showing my avid appreciation (and horror)! ( @jules-writes-stories and @iftheshoef1tz, yours are coming once I recover from my indigestion and brain rot.)

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I'm very pleased with my gift for @born-to-riot. It's the sweetest thing I've ever written and it's not even smutty! Not Sorry was probably the furthest deviation from my genre, as I mainly write smutty Sadlube where nobody is happy and the sex starts, continues, or ends in tears. Writing something for someone else took me out of my narrow band and I like it.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

I was pleasantly surprised when commenters were keen for me to continue I Need You and Not Sorry. I did leave a lot more hanging than I normally do. I usually keep a couple of threads floating in the wind to tempt speculation, but I overdid it with those two. It's time I give y'all my LORE!!!

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I Can't if you Won't, but I Will is my only Casriel, though they're both mated to their assigned vipers. It's their mutual substitution pining fuck! I spent ages reading and rereading the High Lord meeting and the subsequent night and morning in order to ensure everything was canon compliant. It first struck me when both Cassian and Azriel disappeared while Mor was getting disappointingly railed by the veritable Sex God of Prythian.

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

@fourteentrout , @nus4y , @lucychanart , @works-of-heart , @krem-does-stuff , @naariel , @tendermiasma , @elleybug , @chunkypossum , @copypastus , @strykozart , and many more have all created works that I've stared and stared and stared at! For educational purposes.

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

Buckle up, y'all...

@mistandmemories for the pining

@jules-writes-stories for putting everything Azris into one masterpiece

@the-darkestminds for despair

@chunkypossum for getting me and giving us pain

@fieldofdaisiies for carving her words into my heart, @shadowsandlint for LORE, @iftheshoef1tz for luring me here in the first place, @futurehunt for amazing plots, @fourteentrout for an incredible output of sexytimes, @secret-third-thing for being unhinged, @acourtofladydeath for the insane premises, nat-tav for smut, @greenvelvetcouture for incredibly pornographic romance, tessabeth for twists, @pippsmcgee for having her fingers in so many pies and fucking that shit up, finnijer for cliffhangers, @brunetterebel010 for a different take, @ofduskanddreams for making me love AU, flamesandshadows for Lucien love, @ysmtttty for being an absolute flirt, @unanswered-stars for the unanswered letters, @melonsfantasyworld for being a complete slut, Vivienne1412 for her Vanserras, shadowhandss60 for unapologetic filth, @g00seg1rl for hilarity, @witch-and-her-witcher for variety, astarla for romance without a bond, @yanny-77 for the lip ring, mathiwrites for Tamlin, voralisthelittlebat for stalking as a love language, nothinggoingontoday for the benefits, sam_lane for writing the real canon, @crazy-ache for the kitty, @zenkindoflove for Alexius, Clare, and Andras

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

I just got back into ff this year after two decades away. Everything and everyone is new to me and I can't be happier with the comradery between us all! But @buffy-vanserra, @g00seg1rl, @nus4y, and @jolenes-library have been recent additions to my subscribe button.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

I haven't collaborated, but I did participate in the gift exchange, which gave me inspiration that I never would have found on my own (thanks @born-to-riot), and allowed me to dump my thirstiest dreams onto my Santa (thanks, @brunetterebel010). I also betaed for the first time (on the very last day of 2024) for @shadowsandlint, who I've been simping over since I first came across her work.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Hitting the publish button. I am so very shy about sharing the shit that falls out of my brain, but I've been met with only kindness and support instead of judgement and critique.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Just get it down. You can edit later. Stop perseverating over the little things.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

Do it, don't be shy. We promise to be nice about it.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I'd like to continue I Need You and Not Sorry. I'd also like to try writing other characters. The brain worms are wriggling. Ianthe and Tamlin are peeking in.

[voxofthevoid]

Random, what are your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Oh, this is gonna be dominated by JJK 😂. I'm always more aware, let's say, of things I wrote more recently. On top of that, with JJK fics, I've tried new things and challenged myself (successfully) a lot more than I have with my previous fandoms.

I've picked 7: five from JJK, plus one each from Bleach and MCU.

1. (let me be clear) every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered

JJK, goyuu: When told to choose his hell, Itadori Yuuji picks the easier one—a clean death, then and there. He couldn’t have known that it was never really a choice. Or, Gojou Satoru kidnaps a teenager, supposedly for his own good.

This is the work I'm most proud of among all my stories, and I'm sure that'd be the case even without recency bias. Not only is it the first canon rewrite I completed, it's also a story that tackles a lot of themes and tropes I find highly compelling, in general and with regard to JJK in particular. Plotting and executing it was a fun challenge; I worked with an extensive outline, but the plot and characters evolved significantly during the writing process. It was fun from the beginning to the end (there's a reason I finished this in less than two months), and the final result is something I'm immensely satisfied with.

2. bloodstains on the collar means just don't ask

JJK, sukuita and goyuu: Yuuji has a type. Unfortunately, his uncle and his teacher embody that type.

This was my first no-powers AU for JJK, and I ended up liking it way more than I expected. Transposing Yuuji, Gojou, and Sukuna to a mundane setting while keeping their relationships twisted really helped me get a deeper and better understanding of their characters and relationships. In particular, I'm now far more comfortable writing sukuita and utterly in love with their uncle/nephew dynamic. I write or intend to write plenty of incest for JJK, but most of those didn't really delve into the implications of the blood relation (due to canon circumstances), but this story is explicitly and excruciatingly clear on how Sukuna's known and (in his own fucked-up way) cared for Yuuji since he was an infant. It's a flavor I hadn't tackled before but enjoyed immensely.

3. little lamb to the slaughter

JJK, goyuu: Gojou offers to blow Yuuji as part of his training; it escalates from there.

It's rare that I fill in canon missing moments like this, but I just couldn't resist the basement era. I'm so fond and proud of this because this is the fic that cemented my grasp on Yuuji's character, in addition to helping me flesh out Gojou and Yuuji's canon dynamic. Hilariously, back when I came up with this, I figured this would be my most imbalanced, unhealthy dynamic for JJK/goyuu, but not only did this fic turn out pretty wholesome (...aside from the statutory rape aspect that goes ignored in-verse), but the bulk of my subsequent ideas for this ship makes this fic look like puppies and unicorns in comparison. I guess that impression came because it'd been quite a while since I tackled adult/minor, so it felt taboo in a way I took time to adjust to—now I thrive here.

4. the brute fact of flesh awaiting our teeth

JJK, fem!goyuu: Satoru embarks on a quest to seduce her hot giant of a teacher and continuously bites off more than she can chew.

I started this because I wanted to write filthy femlash porn, which I absolutely did do and enjoy immensely, but the reason this ended up so high on my list of favorite children fics is because exploring the role reversal dynamic and the genderbending one in tandem helped me better flesh out adult!Yuuji, especially one that lived with Sukuna for years and eventually subsumed him (her, in this case), and get a good handle on how I want to work in the gender changes while retaining their canon traits. I've tried at my hand both dynamics before, separately, but the length and depth of this fic solidified both. Also, I go wild for tits and pussy, and it shows.

5. i could keep your bed warm, otherwise i'm useless

JJK, goyuu and sukuita: Sukuna in Megumi’s body rapes Yuuji to break Megumi’s spirit, and Gojou rescues him but isn’t very sane afterward.

This is going to sound demented, but I like this one so much because it has the most viscerally uncomfortable rape scene I've ever written. It's not the sukuita; that's straightforward violent rape. But the goyuu that follows features a specific flavor of intimate violence framed as tenderness: someone who cares about you pushing your boundaries and actively retraumatizing you—not in spite of the love or even from a lack of love but because of the love.

6. and you cried, love's like watching someone die

Bleach, grimmichi: Repeat reincarnation cycle AU where Ichigo never remembers and Grimmjow never forgets.

This is a total angst train that was something of an ambitious project, in terms of technique, characterization and the general mood I wanted to evoke. Judging by my post-fic analysis and my readers' reactions, I succeeded. Writing such a heavy emotional story from Grimmjow's PoV wasn't easy, and the non-linear sequence was a bitch to sort out, but I'm very happy with how it turned out.

7. here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed

MCU, stucky: Steve's helpless not to love his ghosts.

Memory, identity, and associated manifestations of love and grief are themes that have haunted me for years now, including in the JJK fandom, but these two stories are my best takes on it, in my view. Said themes are already intrinsically present in Steve and Bucky's relationship, and this series recasts their past and their present to prod at questions of how much of us is our memories and experiences and how much is something there in core—a soul, so to speak. This is a fundamentally romantic take on the topic, so the outcome is obvious, but I'd like to say the answers are a little complicated.

[six-eyed-samurai]

SUMMARY: Jirou and Denki's likes are far and between. Jirou likes Denki and Denki likes Jirou anyway. A/N: I was listening to Wild Side by ALI when I thought of them and you should too. (Actual a/n: It was so fun imagining all of this! I based them off some actual events between me and my friends. The homeless one is an actual thing my best friend and I do lmao, sit outside the mall's store and eat while our gang illegally take our photos and call us beggars) WARNINGS: Some mild swearing and a lot of probable inaccuracies for the sake of the plot and because I haven't finished MHA yet

It is wonderful my life

Jirou likes the name Jamming Whey and Denki likes the name Jirou-Jack.

Obviously the both of them detest the nickname the other’s given, or so everyone thought, based on the poking from Jirou’s end and dramatic sighing from Denki’s. Not that it stopped them from calling each other that at all opportunities. It was endearing to watch to the class; it was a trifle odd for the Bakusquad, for when they tried to use it…

“Um, what?”

“Sorry bro, but that ain’t for you to use!”

Mina thinks it’s funny, how it’s like a codename for only each other. Suspiciously so.

Please could you kiss my name

This round’s exercise of heroes versus villains is different.

The villains were Todoroki and Momo, so Jirou and Denki would have to play it smart to win. Inside the building it had seemed like a good idea at that time to split up. Now, not so much, when Jirou found herself stuck in Todoroki’s ice as he handed her the device Aizawa had given them to stay in contact with each other. Momo, no doubt, was nearby to catch her partner unaware.

“Call Kaminari to come out.”

“…Denki, the bomb’s in the room down the hall. The door to the left.”

But then suddenly it’s Momo and Todoroki on the floor, shocked by Chargebolt’s electrical attack. Jirou breaks out of the rest of the partially melted ice herself and grudgingly slaps her partner’s hand when he raises it, hopeful for a high-five.

Todoroki twists his head around, surprise evident on his face. “How’d you know it was as trap? Jirou didn’t say anything suspicious.”

Denki bursts out laughing smugly. “She’d never call me Denki willingly - it’s always Jamming Whey…” his shoulders slump. “Unfortunately. But anyways, we won, Jirou-Jack!”

“Shut up.”

Momo wonders if that day was when Jirou finally accepted the nickname, because for once she didn’t object to it.

Todoroki admires how in sync they are.

When the music's over?

Jirou likes rock and Denki likes electronic.

They argue about it a lot. The usual which is better, yours make no sense, it's much more superior that whatever you call that music. Sometimes during study nights the books and work are forgotten, pushed aside, to make way for their heated debate. Their friends roll their eyes and ignore them; it's almost a ritualistic thing at this point.

Only Mina thinks there's something more to it - to the rest the noise just dies down when one of them whips out their phone and forces the other to listen to their music. So what if they were sitting really close to each other and occasionally lean their heads on the other's shoulder? They're sharing an earbud after all, and the wire required them to be close.

(They're sulking, the rest think, because they see the eyerolls and shoulder shoves.)

(They're in denial, Mina thinks, because she sees them smile at the same moment when it hits the chorus and hum together.)

Turn off light, it was such a sweet time

Momo thinks she’s come up with a solution.

Jirou and Denki stare at her blankly, bewildered by her sudden excited announcement that study night. She says she’s heard them arguing about what music to choose a lot; Jirou replies they do it all the time and Denki adds that it’s normal. Momo nods but repeats what she says. She hands them both her phone.

“Jazz? Yaomomo - what?”

“I thought you were the sort to listen to classical shit. This ain’t my type!”

“No one cares about your opinion right now, Jamming Whey.”

“No, no, I just thought that if the two of you can’t agree on either one of your genres you’d like to try a third option. A compromise, sort of.” Momo smiles, believing she’s provided a resolution to their squabbling. Jirou’s not, though she tries to - she’s going to miss -

“What’s with that face, Jirou-Jack?”

“Don’t elbow me!”

“We can still share earbuds…or you could just plug your jacks into my phone.”

Jirou smiles, but it’s with an eyeroll as Momo looks hopefully on. Denki plays Momo’s choice, holding the phone uncomfortably close to her face like a kid showing off his crayon drawing to his mom. “I’m still choosing which one though!”

They still argue over the music, unsurprisingly. They’re openly sharing the earbuds now, surprisingly.

Could you pray for me, my friend?

Jirou likes movie night and Denki likes the popcorn.

Most of Class 1-A is already gathered in front of the TV, sprawled on the sofas or lying on the ground. She’s a little way from him, squashed between Momo and Mina. Denki pretends he’s not staring at her when his neighbor Kirishima points it out and Bakugo explodes telling them to just pick a movie already. Most of them vote for horror.

Jirou gets up. Strange, because he knows she likes movie nights. Then he remembers, she doesn’t like horror, but her pride wouldn’t allow others to know. Denki himself wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t deduced it by her actions over time and gotten her to admit it. Her friends attempt to persuade her to stay, but she feigns tiredness.

“Why don’t we watch something else? We’ve already watched this movie like what, three times already? Boo, we literally all know what’s going to happen!”

Of course he gets pummeled by the pillows but after a little more convincing they agree to change it. He claims he needs to use the bathroom and runs out.

It's starting over time

Jirou’s not yet to her room.

He catches up and makes her turn around, ask why she left, tries to wheedle her to stay. Denki already knows her so well, so Jirou says she doesn’t like the movie. But he’s convinced them to change it, something he think she’ll like, so reluctantly she follows him back. It’s really hard to say no to Denki sometimes, Jirou thinks, then sighs as she remembers that no, it’s actually ALL the time.

They get back and find their seats been taken. No matter, he shoos a few legs away from the ground near the couch and practically forces Jirou to sit next to him. The movie’s a murder mystery; Denki worries the gory parts might affect Jirou. Unconsciously an arm slips around her shoulders and maybe he shifts a little closer. But Jirou feels it. An eyebrow is raised and Denki jerks his head back to avoid the earphone jack, tilting his head back with a protesting look.

“Get your arm off me.”

“If you get scared-”

“If you try anything, Kaminari, I'll poke your eyeballs.”

“I wasn't!”

But they end up cuddling anyway; Sero helpfully throws a blanket over them because that’s what happens every movie night, somehow.

Taking overnight

Jirou likes to sleep and Denki likes distracting himself.

It takes his mind off the fact it’s nearly 1 a.m. and if he lies down on his bed he’ll just overthink everything and probably count down how much hours of sleep he’s losing and he’s going to be so sleep deprived and tired tomorrow and then he’ll get scolded by Aizawa for not paying attention in class and be stupider than he already is and he wishes he could close his eyes and why is it so cold in the room, all his senses feel waaay too alert and man does he want some ramen-

He tries a few other things like finishing some homework or reading but his eyes don’t feel like they’re working right. Or rather they are, but everything is blurring together. Denki leans back, listens to some music and scrolls on his phone. A bad distraction but a distraction nonetheless.

But now he can’t keep his mind off wondering if he could text Jirou and just…dunno, talk? Gossip? Ask her if she wanted to get instant ramen with him? Probably because one of her songs somehow crawled their way into his playlist right now.

She’d probably yell at him for waking her up and order him to go make ramen himself. The thought seems funny to him, but then again everything is funny at night. He opens up her chat because insomniac + a-need-for-company = no self control.

(Somewhere in the back of his mind he wonders why Jirou is the first one he thinks of.)

>>hey you up?????

>>can’t sleep 💀💀

>>would anyone be mad at me if i got up right now to make ramen

>>kinda want a juicebox or something lmaoo

>>CANNOT MATH RIGHT NOW 😩😭🥴

>>sorry to wake you

Denki throws the phone to his bed after deleting everything but the last message.

Taking over blue time

He’s in the midst of actually going out to get that juicebox when there’s knocking at the door.

Denki throws open the door, electricity at the ready in case a ghost really existed and was paying a visit to all those naughty little boys who aren’t abiding by bedtime.

It's Jirou, actually, who's paying a visit.

“…hi?” His brain and mouth feels numb but he attempts to be normal. “What, couldn't sleep until you saw my handsome face?”

Jirou's face gets more annoyed and disbelieving that she was even here in the first place. “A face that's about to be punched.”

“Aw, you do miss me~” Denki yanks her inside, unable to stop his grinning. He slams the door shut. “But seriously, why’re you here?”

“Just because you deleted the text doesn’t mean I didn’t see it.”

“…oh, yeah…about that.” Denki awkwardly scratches his neck. “We don’t gotta get the ramen or anything. I’m just having trouble sleeping then.”

Perhaps not so much now, when he suddenly found his eyes about to close themselves while his head was tucked under Jirou’s and his arms looped around hers, both somewhere in the stacks of blankets and pillows and plushies lying on Denki’s bed.

“Not a word, Kaminari.”

Not that he could manage one, finally dozing off with her.

(It’s a little hard to explain to Kirishima the next morning why Jirou’s plushy is on his bed.)

If you heard that screaming, shout in your mind

Jirou likes fries and Denki likes hamburgers.

There’s not really anything to argue about for this one but they do anyway, comparing which fast food chain was better. Usually it winds up with Denki defending his honor while Jirou pokes fun at how his big mouth came about by having to stretch it to fit all his beloved burgers. Nothing different this time round as Class 1-A heads out to another shopping trip together.

Denki doesn’t want to go into the stupid store. He’s hungry. Jirou snorts and says he won’t die of starvation like he says. He whines about craving a greasy, fat hamburger. Jirou elbows him; he lingers outside the store, at the window, declaring he was going to stay outside until they could eat and if they find his corpse lying out there it was because they wouldn’t let him have lunch. Tokoyami helpfully points out that it’s still morning.

He stays out there regardless, ignoring the scoffs and snickers from a certain someone that he looked like a homeless tramp.

A very hungry tramp, Denki argues. I want a hamburger. Maybe a soda.

Taking over the shine

“Hey.”

“What…aw, hey, you got me a burger! I’m saved!” Denki eagerly peels back the wrappings, taking a huge bite and beaming at Jirou, who’s plopped down next to him. She points out the lettuce in his teeth and sips her drink, holding her own burger.

“I didn’t see you come out of the store?”

“There’s another exit at the back. Passed by a restaurant and well, you said you were hungry and I didn’t want you complaining anymore.”

“Didn’t you say I looked like a homeless tramp sitting out here?”

“…now there’s two homeless tramps.”

Denki bursts out laughing and Jirou scolds him for spraying out hamburger. You never heard me say that, she says, and Denki stores it away in his memory as he takes the drink from her proffered hand. Jirou unwraps her burger and makes a face. “This better be as good as you say.”

(Later the Bakusquad catch them feeding each other fries; Jirou complains Denki opened the wrong packet of sauce.)

Taking over the shooting star

Jirou likes the solitude and Denki likes socialising.

Which is why despite the numerous asks from her friends if she needed them Jirou declined, preferring to spend her quarantine from the flu in her own room by herself. It wasn’t too bad - she could just do whatever she wanted in bed: scroll on her phone, practice a little music, catch up on assignments…if it weren’t so damned COLD.

She’s already sneezed about a bajillion times already and the bin’s full from tissues. No matter how many layers of blankets she was trying to burrow under she just wouldn’t heat up. Maybe her tolerance for the freeze had just lowered after hanging out with Kaminari - the man was quite literally a walking electrical heater.

Speaking of Kaminari, Jirou just might have to borrow Bakugo’s nickname of Dunceface for him, because who the hell gave him permission to barge into her room like that?!

Jirou throws a plushy at him. “Get out.”

“I’m not here to pass you your homework though…you know I don’t even understand any of it myself.” Nobody asked but he plops down next to her. “I heard you were sick!”

“Less sick and more of in danger in getting frostbite,” Jirou grumbles, hugging herself and shivering.

So of course he just hauls her ass to the door and basically kidnaps her to the kotatsu.

All I was talking about was music

“Better?”

“Maybe.”

Denki smirks and pulls her closer. She doesn’t even bother fighting it, finally warming up from the combination of the kotatsu and him. Probably the stifling three thousand blankets Denki piled on them as well. At least he had the decency to kidnap her rabbit plushy as well; he paired it up with his worn, dumb Pikachu one. The one where she had won for him at an arcade to get him to stop his sulking. Hah.

“Let’s play music! My turn to pick!”

“I’m the sick one, Jamming Whey.”

“It’s my phone!”

“You’re literally borrowing-”

They both rolled around for a while before someone’s elbow, finger, knee, something touched the screen sufficiently for the phone to recognize the command and start playing. Start playing Momo’s music choice, specifically. Jirou sighs and Denki shrugs. They let it play and huddle under Mount Blanket. The plushies are kidnapped inside.

“Warm enough yet?”

“Yeah.”

(And that's called jazz!)

[neerons]

Hi! How are you doing? I wanted to ask if you know some stories that are similar to MK. It can be another game, manga/webtoon, or even movies/series/dramas. I want to read or watch a similar story with an interesting plot and deep stories, but not too complicated. The storyline has to be logical/coherent and well written. The characters must be strong and have interesting personalities, good developments and if possible, good relationships too. I don't have a particular theme in mind, but I'd like some romance in the story (the two lovers are equals). If you have some recommendations or if someone else has some stories to share, I'm interested! Thank you ❤️

Hi! I'm very good thank you. I hope you're doing well too ❤

I'm not going to help out much when it comes to other games, webtoons, movies or series as what I play, read or watch in these categories don't really fit Masquerade Kiss' universe.

Anyone is welcome to leave recommendations as well. Try to tag @ himawari ⬆ for visibility so your comment can be seen

MK is pretty unique so not everything I recommend is even 50% close to being similar to MK, so I mostly rely on core details that match.

However when it comes to mangas/animes, there are ones I can instantly think about, and some others that have similarities as well. Some of them don't involve romance but I tried to think of ones who do.

Black Butler

If you're looking for something similar to Kei's route, let me introduce you to my favorite anime and manga ✨ Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji ✨

It doesn't involve the romance you're looking for, but the story is deep, linked to religion and a sexy demon butler, with one of the main characters (Ciel) having a very similar past to Kei. It's actually the only one I can think of that is so similar to MK overall, but it's definitely darker.

It involves the same things we see in Kei's route in general: rejection of religious faith, demons (but here an actual one), philosophy about what being a human is, child abuse in a religious setting, being left as an orphan, and another thing very similar to Kei that I will not spoil as it is a big plot twist in the manga. (But tbh I wouldn't be surprised if the writer in charge of Kei got inspired by Black Butler)

(However, keep in mind that if you watch the anime, you need to look up the episodes that are adapted from the manga so the plot stays coherent (the anime has some parts of S1 and S2 that were invented, and you should avoid watching those, unless you want to, if you want to understand the actual plot)

The Apothecary Diaries

The romance is not completely established yet even in the manga, as it is slow burn. However the FL is extremely interesting and strong, intelligent as well as very funny. The ML is equally as good, and both have a very interesting relationship.

I recommend this one especially for the "equals" part you're looking for, but the era they're in in this universe doesn't fit MK's. But the story is quite deep and not that hard to understand

Spy x Family

This one is linked to spies and assassins, and family life in general in a cold war setting. I realize as I'm writing this just how much I suck at doing these masterpieces justice btw.

Anyway, the characters are extremely good. The story, with all its comedy and funny moments, is also quite profound as you have characters start to understand what love is (kind of similar to MK as well in this aspect?) and well, it's about ✨ spies ✨ I like to compare the MK Boss and Twilight (the ML) as they're incredible at their work.

The romances are not well established as well in this one but they're slowly building.

The era is also a bit different, but it's not too shocking

Kaguya-sama: Love is War

This one is also a funny one. The FL and ML and side characters are all amazing and well written. It's an elite high school setting. It's not dark like the others ones I've mentioned and is more of a comfort anime/manga.

I think the characters' banter can be similar to what we're used to see in MK, and it's a lovely, although frustrating at times, slow burn

7th Time Loop: The Villainess enjoys a carefree life married to her worst enemy!

I almost tired my fingers out typing that title, but this anime has a really good romance with a very independent, strong, intelligent and capable FL, with a strong, cold but actually tender ML.

Not the same era as MK again, but it's another one with both leads being equally as good and having a good relationship (although it's not easy at first). The FL's belief in justice and her kindness are also similar to our lovely MK MC as well.

I don't know if you have already watched or read those, but that's mostly what I could think of. Sadly, I have yet to find one very similar to MK's glamour, sensual, funny and dark vibe myself but I hope I helped you a bit, and if I didn't, then I'm sorry and I hope you'll find something good!

I guess the Mission Impossible movies that the MC loves so much are actual inspirations for MK? So you might be interested in those if you haven't watched them.

The movie or series about Hannibal Lecter with Mads Mikkelsen for Kei's route as well? Although I haven't watched it myself so I don't know if it was an inspiration, and it's gore, so be careful with the warnings

I could recommend you French romantic movies that MC would enjoy and that would be similar to MK (as MK heavily implements French references in its content), but I won't be able to guarantee there'll be a translation for you to understand, so I'm giving up the idea

Thank you for the ask, and have a lovely day/night ❤

[wallbeatjournal]

If they'd have chosen to just be straight up about it, when in the canon timeline do you think is the most likely place narratively for hirarchie to have gone sexual?

i've said before i think season 2 is already a grooming narrative with a subtextual consummation, but if i'm actually script-doctoring what we've got across the whole series to have hirarchie fuck nasty as a shocking and trashy and high-aesthetic plot development, i'm going to argue that it's more satisfying if we don't have an explicit archie cheating plot at this stage in the story. it works better as an emotional affair. (saying this bc to the characters i think it would be first and foremost about the complication of cheating, not bc that's the biggest problem with hiram/archie.)

imo riverdale should have done it as a mid-seasons escalation in season four. give us a season or two to really sit with how unhinged and obsessed hiram is about archie and then decode it in the worst and most extreme bad taste like the second archie turns 18.

putting my season 4 hirarchie proposal below the cut since it got quite long:

the s4 dodger plot is...extremely uneven and feels a bit cobbled-together on the fly by a writing team grappling with the death of luke perry and the in-universe death of fred andrews, and whether it would be respectful to keep being super weird about hiram in the wake of all that. but there are still useful components in the dodger arc - archie is the oliver twist in the oliver twist riff happening*, a boy "orphaned" without reliably engaged, aware parents who was groomed into criminality and doesn't see a way out without a wealthy benefactor. lean into that!

it can happen as hiram starts working out at archie's gym, mysteriously ill in a dickensian sort of way. riverdale's favorite weird incestuous overtones come into play especially hard if we're considering season four hirarchie, when it can really only be largely about fred for archie and holding on to/deepening a relationship with the sometimes-father-figure he has left. archie has been trying so hard to be a good brick in this monument of fred's legacy but it feels impossible because the only tools that come naturally are violence and sexuality and appealing to benefactors, so why not get a little nihilistic-horny with it.

he's also frankly already being a pretty bad boyfriend to veronica this season, it's stale, they're bickering, they don't have emotional intimacy the way he used to have emotional intimacy with hiram during what he probably still unfortunately remembers as their best days......i just don't think he'd be guilt-ridden about fuck-nastying veronica's dad at this point the way he would have been in season 2 when fred's cheating was the big looming legacy beat to avert and goodboyism seemed like an achievable and real thing archie could prove to others.

this is also i think when indulging in fuck-nasty hirarchie would be least damaging/difficult an option for hiram - he's ill and wants to feel vital again, he's ill and he wants archie to remember and honor him when he's gone the way he remembers and lionizes fred (he knows this isn't possible and that makes him resentful and apt to grasp at another form of intimacy that wasn't available to fred). he's feeling aggression towards his daughter, who is leaving him (by going to college) as much as he might be leaving her (by dying of a mysterious illness). it's a big complicated sick emotional motivations stew and both archie and hiram are looking at getting left behind to cook in it while the rest of the core four move forward in life.

and it would be hot. archie and hiram in the gym "personal training" (gone sexual) with weird grief-hate-reconciliation-validation sex would be hot. archie and hiram doing vigilante violence and then making out in sketchy alleys would be hot. are you kidding me?

all of this would make archie even weirder about hiram's illness and tenser in discussions with veronica about what to do about hiram's illness, and i do think barcheating would still happen - it's escapism/avoidance from what's going on within varchie, it's escapism/avoidance from what's going on within hirarchie, and archie is primed to be impulsive. so we still get barcheating fallout but MORE.

does veronica find out archie hooked up with her dad when they all thought her dad was dying? maybe! maybe she feels more sorrow and guilt (irrationally, about being the conduit bringing hiram into archie's life in the first place) than personal betrayal. or maybe she does feel very betrayed and that's an additional factor in everything (especially archie choosing to run away to the military. sorry everyone i know i've disappointed you all deeply and am very fucked up. instead of talking it out i will simply Leave).

all of this fuck-nastyism of course would make hiram's reaction to the barcheating that much more intense and outsized. veronica was feeling her relationship with archie wane already but hiram was IN IT. he's getting well, he's fighting again, he's offered archie a job, archie is about to be his main special interest while veronica and hermione drift and archie would CHEAT on him?? he's only supposed to be cheating WITH him!!!!

and then we segue into season 5 post-timejump when the riveradults are all kind of weird with each other but moving through it, and hiram has been behaving like a jilted ex throwing a temper tantrum for 7 years. and he will certainly continue.

*i think everyone notices but the dickinson crew is mostly named in reference to the gang of thieves who adopts and trains oliver - the artful dodger, fagan, bill. intertextuality, yippee!