#Pla-Ant

[r3d-m3dic]

My friend told me to draw a character that he'd make lore about. So far he hasn't responded with any lore lmao.

Fis-Boal. The fish in the fishbowl is what controls the body. The fish is a highly intelligent being, having higher intelligence then any human on earth, or other planets. The reasoning it chose to wear roller skates is unknown, however it allows it to move very quickly.

Pla-Ant. Nobody knows where it came from, how it came to be, or even what universe it's from. Everything is completely unknown. Especially how it sees, and speaks... It's head is a plant for gods sake.

[kyujosha]

057. ▸ tags 》 franklin clinton . . .

[groupieaesthetic]

HEADCANON: NSFW ALPHABET SÍMON HEMPE

A= Aftercare (Como ele é depois do sexo)

Se o Símon já te beija durante o sexo depois dele MEU DEUS. Beija sua mãos, costelas, pernas, pescoço, basicamente seu corpo inteiro. Diz o quão bonita você é, o quão boa você é na cama.

Depois desse ritual ele vai levantar, pegar uma roupa para você, tomar um banho e pedir alguma comidinha gostosa.

B = Body Part (Parte favorita do corpo)

Símon ama seus seios. As vezes nem é sexual, ele só acha eles tão encantadores.

As vezes vocês estão deitados e ele fica fazendo carinhos, da algumas apertadinhas. Quando vocês estão transando, deixa chupoes, morde, dá até uns tapas leves nos bicos.

C = Cum (Onde ele gosta de gozar)

Dentro de você. Antes você não gostava, afinal 'gravidez'. Mas ele até ajudou você a pagar o método contraceptivo mais eficaz, só pra você se sentir mais segura e deixar ele fazer isso.

As vezes ele tira o pau pra fora e goza fora, entre os seus lábios ou algo assim, só pra ver a porra escorrendo pela sua buceta.

D = Dirty Secret (Algum segredinho dele)

Admito, difícil pensar algo para o Símon (algo que ele teria um pé atrás de contar ou pedir), mas super vejo ele com vergonha de pedir por anal, porém especificamente envolvendo algum pet play. Plug com rabinho, você usando orelhinhas, indo toda manhozinha até ele de quatro.

Ele arrepia só de imaginar isso, mas tem vergonha da sua reação se pedir.

E = Experience (O quão experiente ele é)

Literalmente demos o título de 'aquariano nato' pra ele, então vamos pelo caminho que Símon Hempe tem uma listinha. Lista essa que ele usa a favor dele mesmo pra te ouvir gemer e deixar louca na cama.

F = Favorite Position

Papai e mamãe, porém, com as suas pernas nos ombros dele.

Porra! Imagina ele te comendo assim, socando bem fundo e forte em você, te enforcando, com aquela carinha de que ta louco pra gozar.

Nosso menino sabe bem como ele gosta das coisas...

G = Goofy (Faz piadas durante ou nem?)

Depende. Se ele tá bêbado ou chapado, rola umas piadinhas, uns comentários, mas geralmente gosta de uma coisa mais série, mais sensual.

H = Hair (Depilação e etc...)

Não suporta ficar com muito pelo lá em baixo. De mês em mês se depila totalmente.

Ele sabe que você gosta dele assim, e ele também prefere. Na visão do mesmo, isso até o deixa mais sensível na área, melhorando o prazer.

I = Intimacy

O sexo de vocês é quase sagrado pra ele. Saber que é ele que te da prazer, são as suas mãos passando pelo corpo dele, e que aquela cama, naquele apartamento é a cama de vocês dois, faz ele reparar como ele não quer mais ninguém, e não quer nunca imaginar outra pessoa tocando seu corpo.

J = Jack off (Masturbação)

Só quando vocês ficam muito tempo sem se ver e pra ajudar você manda algumas fotinhas nsfw pra ele kkkk

K = Kink

Você vendada é tudo pra ele. A ansiedade que ele sabe que você sente, sem ter idéia do que ele vai fazer, sua total devoção as desejos dele...

Ele também tem um 'praise kink' enorme. Você elogiar ele faz nosso querido Hempe ficar com um tesão maior ainda.

L = Location (Lugar favorito para fazer)

Voltando no tópico 'intimidade', não poderia ser diferente se não a cama de vocês. É lá que vocês podem fazer qualquer posição que quiserem, tem todo o tempo do mundo.

Mas ele também ama fazer no carro. As vezes no meio do role ele te puxa pela mão, vai saindo do local te dando beijos no pescoço e quando chegar no carro te bota pra quicar no pau dele até o carro ficar completamente embaçado.

M = Motivation

Não precisa de muita coisa pra ficar excitado MAS uma coisa que ajuda é você usando a camiseta do time dele.

Uma das suas melhores transas foi depois que os dois foram no estádio ver um jogo, e assim que chegaram em casa ele te atacou e meteu em você no chão mesmo. Óbvio, ele não deixou você nem cogitar em tirar a camiseta. Ele ama seus peitos, mas ver você quicando ele com a camiseta do time, depois de uma baita vitória... isso sim é prazer senhoras e senhores!

N = No (Algo que ele não faria)

Knife play ou menage.

Eu sei, eu sei... aqui no tumblr temos milhares de smuts com ele na situação de menage (smuts essas que eu groupiezita amo), mas pelo tópico da intimidade vejo que ele teria muito um pé atrás em colocar alguém no meio de vocês, fosse homem ou mulher.

O = Oral

Nunca impediu você de descer e chupar ele até ele gozar na sua boca... NUNCA!

Seja no elevador, carro, casa, lugar afastado em algum festival de música ou banheiro de balada. Ele gosta de chupar você, mas olhar para baixo e encontrar você engolindo o pau dele com maestria, faz ele ficar com as pernas bambas.

P = Pace (Gosta de algo rápido? Meter forte?)

Forte e lento. Aquelas estocadas que vão bem lá no fundo, bem devagar e são fortes, te fazendo gemer por conta do prazer. Quando ta quase gozando vai aumentando a velocidade, e começa a masturbar você só pra sentir você gozando com ele.

Q = Quickie (Sobre rapidinhas)

Ama. As vezes tá atrasado pro trabalho mas não saí antes de te deixar de quatro sobre o balcão da pia da cozinha e meter em você e gozar.

R = Risk (Gosta de correr riscos?)

Agora que tá ficando mais famoso, Símon esta ficando mais consciente, não sai transando com você me *qualquer* lugar. Quer sempre ter certeza que ninguém tá vindo ou pior *gravando*. Ainda tem o espírito aventureiro, mas não quer virar protogonista de página de fofoca.

S = Stamina (Quanto ele dura?)

Geralmente são uns 3 rounds. Tendo tempo, paciência ele consegue se recuperar e voltar a meter em você rapidinho.

T = Toys

Vou contar só uma coisinha: ele te deu seu primeiro vibrador. Um beijo.

E ainda pediu pra você se gravar usando ele.

U = Unfair (O quanto ele gosta de provocar?)

O bastante pra você segurar o braço dele com força, olhar ele nos olhos e dizer "ou você me come agora, ou sabe aquele flamenguista do andar de cima? então..." e ai, as dez horas que ele passou te provocando viram ele metendo em você (usando a camiseta do time dele)

V = Volume

Infelizmente Símon faz parte do time dos homens que quase não gemem. O que ele faz bastante é falar palavrão durante. Pense num homem com boca suja.

W = Wild Card (Um gosto aleatório)

Símon Hempe, tem uma coisinha em gravar vocês.

E não gravação bonitinha, com o celular apoiando em algum lugar. É aquela gravação suja sabe, que balança o celular, pega bem o pau dele entrando e saído de dentro de você, seus gemidos sendo bem captados. As vezes ele nem assiste os vídeos, mas gosta de saber que estão lá.

X = X-ray

Não é muito grande (em questão de comprimento), mas está na média. Mas é grosso, levou um tempo pra você se acostumar (oque ele fica te zoando sobre até hoje)

Y = Yearning (O quanto ele tem de desejo sexual?)

Hempe é um homem com uma boa libido. Vocês não transam todo dia, mas não tem um intervalo de 3 ou 4 dias sem transa não. O homem não aguenta, você senta do ladinho dele no sofá e fica mexendo as perninhas, pronto, ele já tá te pegando no colo e te levando pro quarto.

Z = Zzz (Goza e dorme ou nem)?

Não dorme. As vezes você tem que brigar com ele, porque ou ele quer fazer de novo ou começa a ver vídeo no reels do Instagram com o celular no volume máximo e o brilho também.

O pior até hoje foi o dia que depois de vocês transarem, você foi dormir, enquanto ele simplesmente resolveu ir mexer no cano da pia do apartamento...

[dreaming-star20]

Sin motivo

En algún lugar, dentro de una silenciosa habitación, un hombre de aproximadamente 50 años se encontraba admirando su propio reflejo, con solo un short rosa encima.

-- Ufffffff. El rosa definitivamente es tu color

Dijo el hombre a su reflejo con una profunda y seductora voz, rompiendo la calma del lugar. Su cuerpo reaccionó instintivamente ante ese estímulo auditivo, comenzando a concentrar su circulación hacia su miembro, que había comenzado a crecer lentamente.

El hombre maduro contemplaba su reflejo, totalmente hipnotizado por la forma en que el short rosa resaltaba sus fuertes rasgos. La tela se ceñía perfecto a su redondo trasero. Los años de ejercicio habían dado excelentes resultados. Pero sin duda, lo que más le encantaba de esa prenda, era como marcaba perfectamente el contorno de su pene. Aún sin estar completamente erecto, se podía apreciar perfectamente su figura a través de la tela tensionada.

-- Definitivamente usaré estos en mi siguiente salida jeje

Dijo el hombre mientras le daba un buen apretón a su nueva verga, haciendo que más sangre fluyera hasta el enorme trozo de carne. La sensación de su miembro en crecimiento, presionándose cada vez más dentro de la tela, era un estímulo erógeno tan intenso para el hombre, que casi comenzaba a masturbarse en ese momento. Como le fue posible, reprimió ese impulso y continuó solo con el espectáculo visual, pues aún no era el momento oportuno para tal acto.

Aún sin apartar la vista del espejo, el hombre le dio a sus bíceps una buena y sensual flexión, antes de poner sus manos en la parte posterior de su cabeza, dejando sus axilas peludas al alcance de su rostro. Lentamente, la nariz del hombre se introdujo en la mata de vello axilar, y dando una fuerte y profunda inhalación, llenó sus pulmones con su aroma masculino. Era un olor sumamente exquisito, la perfecta combinación entre sudor de un largo día de trabajo y la fuerte colonia que tanto amaba.

-- ¡Joder, qué olor! Es tan delicioso. Apuesto a que todos los tipos en el club se pelearán por meter sus caras aquí, ¿No lo crees papá?

El hombre habló sin dirigir sus palabras a nadie en particular. Se dio vuelta sobre su propio eje, volviendo la vista a una pequeña pecera en su escritorio. Dentro del contenedor de vidrio había una especie de baba color verde. Esta baba no paraba de pegarse en las paredes de su prisión, en una serie de torpes y fútiles intentos de escapar. La baba no tenía ojos ni oídos, pero el hombre sabía que su espectáculo narcisista estaba siendo apreciado por el indefenso ser.

La baba, que hasta hace algunas horas había sido un ser humano, observó impotente y horrorizado como su propio hijo utilizaba su cuerpo y lo transformaba en un juguete sexual.

-- Es una lástima que un cuerpo tan bonito como este se haya desperdiciado tantos años en alguien como tú, papá. Pero ahora que yo estoy al mando, está hermosura recuperará ese tiempo perdido.

El hombre se colocó nuevamente frente al espejo. Dándole a su reflejo una sonrisa pícara, el hombre colocó ambas manos en sus caderas, tomó el elástico del short, y con un movimiento rápido hizo descender la prenda por sus gruesas y peludas piernas, hasta llegas a sus tobillos, revelándose así su grueso y palpitante pene. El hombre miró curioso su miembro viril, y en su mirada podía apreciarse un brillo particular de emoción. Aún en ese rostro marcado por arrugas, y con esa espesa barba blanca que reflejaba el paso de los años, la expresión que tenía el hombre era, sin duda, la misma que tiene todo adolescente cuando descubre que el trozo de carne entre sus piernas no sirve únicamente para orinar.

-- Soy tan sexy. Lo único que podría mejorar este cuerpo aún más serían algunos tatuajes. Pero eso ya lo pensaré mejor en otro momento. Por ahora, debo encargarme de tu pequeño amigo acá abajo

La baba comenzó a golpear frenéticamente los cristales de la pecera, mientras veía como el joven al que tanto quería, tomaba su cuerpo y lo utilizaba como un mero objeto de placer. La baba desconocía el motivo por el cual su hijo había decidido robar su cuerpo y su vida. Por más que lo intentaba, no encontraba una razón para esta locura. Solo podía pedir desesperadamente que todo esto se tratara solo de un mal sueño, la peor de sus pesadillas, y que pronto despertaría con el control de su cuerpo. Pero ese pensamiento esperanzador se disipaba con cada segundo trascurrido.

En la habitación se escuchaban gemidos y gruñidos guturales, similares a los de un animal en celo.

-- !!OH SI, ME CORRO PAPÁ, ME CORRO CON TU VERGA¡¡

Tras pronunciar esas palabras, el cuarto nuevamente fue llenado por fuertes gemidos, reflejo del placer que experimentaba el hombre en ese instante. Desde la punta de su pene, hilos blancos de semen salieron disparados con tal intensidad, que todos llegaron hasta el espejo. Solo las ultimas gotas blancas alcanzaron los pies del hombre. La habitación había recuperado su quietud. Poniéndose de rodillas en el suelo, el hombre gateo hasta el espejo y lamio todas y cada una de las manchas blancas en su superficie. Cuando terminó, el espejo lucía aún más limpio que antes de haberlo manchado.

El hombre se puso de pie nuevamente, recogió el short rosa del suelo y tomó una playera de la canasta de ropa sucia. Antes de ponerse las prendas, las acercó a su nariz y dio una profunda inhalación. Parecía disfrutar del olor que emanaba de esa ropa. Terminó de alistarse con algunos accesorios que había comprado previamente y antes de partir, se paró nuevamente frente a la pecera.

-- Bueno papá, te veo luego. Ya es momento de que el mundo conozca al "tú" 2.0. Seguramente traiga algún invitado cuando vuelva, si te portas bien podría considerar dejarte intentar tomar un nuevo cuerpo. Hasta entonces, no te muevas de ahí jajajaja

El hombre salió de la habitación con una enorme sonrisa. A decir verdad, su futuro era incierto, no tenía idea de cómo iba a sobrevivir teniendo que hacerse completamente responsable de toda esta nueva vida. Pero si algo tenía de sobra era actitud. El hombre estaba listo para devorar al mundo, y también todos los culos que se atravesaran en su camino.

[kharmii]

(Where Dabi takes Geten out of his Meta Liberation Army bubble so he can observe some normal people)

Geten: Is the Meta Liberation Army handbook short on stock?

Clerk: Sorry, that's all we have... *sigh*

Geten: Get a larger stock and they will sell!

Clerk: Thank you for your suggestion.

Geten: There's still time to be patient until that glorious day comes.

It can't be helped; I must refrain from using my meta ability in public. (To Dabi) What did you buy?

Dabi: It's a secret.

Geten: Stop following me!

Dabi: It's a babysitting job. Give me the pocket money the bald CEO gave you.

Geten: Don't call him bald!

Dabi: Let's get something to eat.

Geten: We'll go to the restaurant run by PLA soldiers and frequented by government officials that offers free all-you-can-eat meals to senior officials.

Dabi: That's so shitty.

(Dabi takes Geten to a popular fast-food burger joint instead)

Geten: -Looks messy

(Sign says 'Wo's Burgers')

Dabi: How can we talk about the future of society without knowing what's popular with our current society?

Worker: Welcome to Wo's. Can I take your order!

Random Girl: Hello, mom? The closing ceremony is over. Big brother is here too.

Random Older Boy: Which one is good?

Random Voice on Phone: Yes, I went to pick you up. I'll be back after lunch.

Random Younger Boy: No way.

Boy: The red one!

Older Brother: Seriously?!?!?! It's spicy!

Boy: Yeah! Ta-bo is an adult at school.

Dabi: Hey.

Geten: Ah... Ah, leave it to me.

Dabi: If you don't like it, burn it.

Geten: Don't just kill future soldiers without permission.

Don't hold me back with haphazard slaughter. If you get in his way, I'll put an end to your life right here.

(Geten gets more worked up)

Geten: When the time comes, as much as you want to, just kill them if they need killing. Right now, you're definitely the one holding me back.

(Where Geten reveals how he can't connect with regular people from being sheltered and isolated by MLA ideology.....hints at affection for Dabi maybe)

Geten: It's possible to become attached to a single ant,

When they gather together, they're no different from the buildings that grow everywhere.

It's an unrealistic view, like watching them from the other side of a television or a window.

Geten: ReDestro is passionate about society, which includes the general public.

Even if I think so, maybe I-I need to have a real, tangible experience of it.

Even if a large number of people were killed in front of you, you probably wouldn't feel any particular sympathy.

I think it puts a river between us.

The reason I stopped earlier was simply because that's what Re-Destro still wants.

Blue Flame, who are you?

Dabi: You're so talkative. Are you an adolescent?

Everyone has a river around them, right?

So, let's build a bridge for the same cause or dream... No matter how many weird arguments you make, no matter how disgusting the logic.

You're just gonna fly off like a brain dead idiot anyway, so don't ask me.

Well...

Geten: It's impossible..

Dabi: If you cross, I'll give you a kiss.

Geten: What are you talking about?

Dabi: The story of the ice man who drowned miserably in the Sanzu River.

Geten: Every single time since a while ago.....!

Dabi: It's fine, kids should just act like kids and have a happy meal.

Geten: Stop treating me like a child!

Geten: I don't approve, I don't approve....

*cough* *munch, munch, munch* *cough* *munch*

(Manages with mouth full) This simple food is the diet of the masses.

*breaks into a paroxysm of choking and coughing from food getting caught in his throat. It was so good he ate it too fast)

Dabi: (amused spewing vinegar) I don't understand hamster language. You are eating your hair. Wow, you look sloppy. Sheez....

*slaps him*

Did it hit you strange?

Geten: !?

Geten at a high point observing Dabi speaking to another person.

Geten: (creeping on Dabi in a dark alley) If we understood each other, there would have been a way for us to live together.

Are you pretending to be a self-sacrificing hero?

"You said things like 'light and shadow', 'we live in different worlds', 'fly freely', even though you were the one who made it impossible for me to fly.

That is.....

Is this your kind of love, Blue Flame?

Dabi: He talks so much. He won't stop talking. What a brat.

Geten: Should I get Trumpet to look into finding a good plastic surgeon?

If you can live without using fire, you don't need me. But you do need me, right?

The two of us could retreat to the countryside.

I wish I could live modestly and peacefully.

Dabi: Get wet

Geten: Dry it yourself.

Dabi: Impossible.

Geten: (thinking) Our relationship continues to develop. What a sad man.

Geten: (whispers an unintelligible endearment)

Dabi: Don't call me that, I'll kill you.

Geten: Is this name reserved for Hawks? Sorry about that.

Dabi: What, you don't even know your name? (Meaning the endearment is for Geten).

You're living a truly wonderful life, poor thing.

Geten: ? (Too dense to get it)

Huh? You're kidding!! How the hell do you know that!!!

Dabi: Pfff.....Let's go.

Geten: (confused, maybe because he doesn't actually know his real name, and Dabi claimed the endearment was his actual name).

Hey! There's more like this!

(Dabi pretends not to listen while Geten rants)

Re-Destro's.......apparently it was discovered in the notes he left behind! And then...! Anyway, there are even more touching scenes!

This is the worst! I don't believe it! Hey!

Dabi: *sighs*

Art credit: yaoi, hrak (yaoi), My Hero Academia BL 3000+ bookmarks / （※注キャプション）荼ホ＋外荼外の今までに描いた漫画 - pixiv

[xjulixred45x]

This is just another request and a bit of an au but can I please ask for a soft platonic yandere Gojo with Father Demaryius

Like at first he tries to force Demaryius to be his father but

After getting scolded and having one of his daughters teach him what love truly is platonically he ends up apologizing for what he did

And Demaryius decides to give him another chance on the condition he never tells anyone where Homeworld is and Promises to never harm his new siblings ever again

Like in general what type of soft platonic yandere Sun would he be for father Demaryius

Demaryius doesn't forgive easily but he'll make an exception just this once

Before he's left with no other option other than to either destroy Gojo or rewind time

I am going to answer this as an additional question rather than as a Request, since otherwise I feel that it would be very short of an entire Post. Sorry if it's not what you wanted, but it's what feels most comfortable for me on this occasion.

I think that as such Yandere Gojo would not feel ashamed in the least for what he did, sorry yes, but not ashamed, he still loves Demaryius reader a lot so he is not ashamed of what he did, but he does not want to break it, so who apologizes

He's definitely a romantic Yandere for that Daughter! He is also very gentle, he learned from his mistakes and is willing to be more subtle with his tendencies in order to have what he is looking for and make her happier with him. He is a very sweet romantic soft yandere with said daughter, he spoils her, pampers her, protects her, clingy yo her, although he is a little too protective... but Demaryius reader can see that he is much more mature than before. so he agrees to have him in the family, that is, the first time he is a danger to his children he WILL ANNIHILATE HIM.

is over the moon with the opportunity to be in a loving and GENUINE family, defends them all fiercely. It becomes a little worrying, but everyone downplays it because it was much worse before, so...

although he definitely watches and controls them without them knowing, just to make sure everyone is "safe and secure."

Gojo is a very clingy soft platonic Yandere, I already said that. but in this scenario it would be more subtle (because the daughter Demaryius already helps him with that). and in general he is more like a guard dog, only attacking whoever he perceives as an imminent threat to Demaryius.

and happily wags its tail at any kind of affection from its "father" and siblings. tolerates Maku because it makes his father happy, and will happily get rid of anyone who tries anything against them :)

Overall, he is a super lethal little dog.

____

voy a contestar esto como una pregunta adicional mas que como una Request, ya que sino siento qje quedaría muy corto como todo un Post. perdon si no es lo aue querías, pero es lo que me sienta mas comodo en esta ocasión.

creo que como tal Yandere Gojo no se sentiria avergonzado en lo mas minimo por lo que hizo, arrepentido si, pero no avergonzado, sigue amando mucho a Demaryius reader por lo que no sienre vergüenza de lo aue hizo, pero no quiere romperlo, por lo que se disculpa.

definitivamente es un Yandere romántico para esa Hija! aunaie muy suave, aprendió de sus errores y esta dispuesto a ser mas sutil con sus tendencias con tal de tener lo que busca. es un yandere suave romántico muy dulce con dicha hija, la consiente, la mima, la protege, aunque es un poco demaciado protector...pero Demaryius reader puede ver que es mucho mas maduro que antes. por lo que acepta tenerlo en la familia, eso si, a la primera de ser un peligro para sus hijos LO ANIQUILARA.

está sobre la luna con la oportunidad de estar en una familia cariñosa y GENUINA, los defiende a todos ferozmente. llega a ser un poquiiiito preocupante, pero todos lo miniminzan poraue era mucho peor antes, asi que...

aunque definitivamente los vigila y controla sin que ellos sepan, solo para asegurarse de que todos esten "seguros y a salvo".

Gojo es un Yandere platonico suave muy pegajoso, eso ya lo dije. pero en este escenario seria mas sutil(porque ya la hija Demaryius le ayuda con eso). y en general es mas como un perro guardian, solo ataca a quien percive como una amenaza inminente para Demaryius.

y mueve felizmente la cola ante cualquier tipo de afecto de su "padre" y hermanos. tolera a Maku porque hace feliz a su padre, y felizmente se deshara de cualquiera que intente algo contra ellos :)

en general, es un perrito súper letal.

[itsdappleagain]

BARK BARK ITS FINALLY TIME FOR THE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME CAPER

not giving up on my trademark of being late for csweekly even though i vowed i wouldn't be late on this one. i have an excuse. i was doing audition prep/submission for a musical

OKAY ANYWAY

i think if i ever actually visited the belltower i would take damage just from being in the space

notes under the cut as always!

OKAY starting thoughts. this is. literally my favorite episode in the entire show. my favorite. im so fucking stoked you don't even know i love watching my blorbos get beat up. me 🤝rueitae

anyways. biting this episode and shaking it violently

i like that the faculty tie actually makes sense and they have solid motivations. it isnt just a plot device for a tie

love this shiot/angle of bellum btw so behold her. she is so amazing

okay hi. immediately stopping to go on a rant about the atmosphere in this caper. its. fucking. incredible. the scenery is so perfect. the right balance of beautiful and desolate, and it changes as the mood does. i could do this later but i will do it now because idk i want to its my post

notice as the episode goes on how as the tone gets darker in carmen's plotline, the scenery and mood around her gets colder and literally darker as well.

ivy's backgrounds, meanwhile, stay pretty light throughout because she has somewhat of a more comedic and hopeful storyline while carmen dies in a ditch somewhere.

also, as soon as carmen calls chief, the snow/light of the hologram/shot composition away from the dark trees shows that there is hope now

just....hope that is tinted with cop fingerprints all over it. i just GOD i fucking LOVE how you can VISUALLY SEE HOW HER LIFE IS GOING its reflected by the very environment around her. compare any shot after she gets acme in to the very last one i put in that set of five.

no moment is darker for carmen than when she gives up, on the brink of death, and calls for help, submitting herself to prison and interrogation in the hopes that even if vile wins today, she can somehow survive to take them down again another day.

man, i am barely a minute into the actual episode and i have a lot to say. that trend will continue. sorry not sorry. back to the actual liveblogging.

fun fact the first time i watched this episode i did not notice the acme agents on top of the building watching "carmen"

i love the little hints dropped to audience members who arent entirely in the know yet (7 year olds) that its ivy, not carmen, and that something is up here. lack of gigantic poofy brown hair, different stature, ivys little smile as she goes past. of course, if you're obsessive like me, youve memorized every characters outline and can tell even with wigs on

OH hey my favorite acme agent hang on

its her. she is drop dead gorgeous and has a nose piercing. she also i think gets all of one line in the s4 opener telling crackle to do whatever (or maybe its her partner but anyway i love her)

I have already earned from her

have you been GAY for twenty years chief? julia has

julia slays so hard in this episode. wish devineaux stayed dead longer because she thrives when she's by herself

episode is literally so gorgeous

i love zari just being like oh my god this bitches gay. bad for them

that soft little "i should have known" smile julia does when carmen puts her hand on her shoulder guts me like an animal

live acme (ants to classify and monitor evildoers) reaction

hey!! next time ivy gets into a frozen adventure with carmen in germany she gets an earbud upgrade :D

zack too!!

that "but powerful" line is literally gay. happy pride month from ivy "muscles" "milady" "i feel powerful dressing in my girlfriend's clothing" lastname

obsessed with zack's little finger wiggles to emulate typing when he imitates player

i love just how. rrgh casual they are. yes carmen is super serious and focused this caper (for good reason. launch codes) but they get in a little. julia notices something small about carmen and that she's cold and the playful tone in the reply from carmen before everything kind of goes to shit. "had to loan my coat once I spotted your reinforcements!" its just a bit of information but its some that she trusts julia with. she asks julia if chief is listening but if she was. carmen would have already blown ivy's cover. i know she stole the pen for good measure but seriously she TRUSTS her

i love how julia pats her jacket and then does not react in the slightest she was just making sure that was HER pen not someone else's

ivy being horrible in snow gag is the best part of this episode

i love julia showing off. she doesnt get to infodump to anyone else but she knows carmen will appreciate it. and shes trying to be coy about knowing what carmen is there to do (sorry jules. you would have been right any other time)

i also like that as julia is infodumping shes absorbing MORE by walking backwards and gazing around the city hall

fun fact: i always wondered how the hell the acme agents got into/hid in the hall without anyone seeing them but there are doors in between all of those pillars!

also

this hallway does in fact exist! i mean considering the cs team probably went there to location scout in person (see below picture of duane and the team in san fran) it makes sense!!

anyway. should i made an "only vaguely related tangents" tally counter for these things at the end of the post lmao

i love how super serious carmen gets here. this episode is so much more mature in its theming than some other episodes. from the launch codes to the fakeout suicide to the continued death before capture thing carmen has going on. man. i cant tell if ivys comic relief section is good for lightheartedness or tonal whiplash lmao

she has for a split second the look of a mother who just heard her child say "i frew up"

ARGH and i also love how literally nothing julia can say in that time will help. she tries- oh, she tries- but "its not what you think" mistakenly sounds like she was still in on it. it looks, for the moment, like julia was trying to distract her or this acme agent missed her cue or something. of course later in the ep carmen has plennnty of time

interestingly cs does away with the doors in between the pillars for a more ethereal and sophisticated look but there are doors in my heart

i love how carmen turns to run sideways. girl even if there weren't acme agents there where were you going

i also just fucking love carmen's completely silent analysis once shit gets really serious. she calculates and recalculates what she needs to do to survive here. and she's RUTHLESS about it. i think this is kind of the one time we really see her vile training come out in comparison to someone other than vile itself. she takes those acme agents OUT

part of me wonders if carmen, in that little pause by the door, thought that maybe her chances were better backtracking but she didn't want to have to hurt jules to get out. maybe im just gay and wistful idk BUT okay here's my reasoning!! hang on! stay with me!! carmen equals BAD in tight spaces. saw it in rio, saw it in nz, saw it in poitiers. its everywhere- she does better with more space. however, she does like her high grounds, so honestly this is pure headcanon but like,,, not wanting to hurt julia. send post

also you can see in the background julia TAKING OFF after the other agents....no gun drawn of course

this fight scene with carmen is so fucking fantastic

she never. NEVER. EVER does full fight scenes where she does a lot of offensive but this situation is so different. she SPRINTS at that bitch she holds him HOSTAGE and while of course she's acting so that she doesn't get caught the fight almost portrays her a little villainously with the trail of bodies she leaves behind her as she goes

ALSO THAT FLIP OFF THE WALL MOVE IS SO DAMN COOL. she tricks the acme agent into gassing herself almost effortlessly and only takes a split second to coldly look behind her to make sure there's no one else coming before she takes off again

and then the other three who didnt get knocked out start going after her again which distracts her just enough to let zari catch her with the shot

the shaky "camera" and blurred vision pov as carmen fades in and out of consciousness while instinct alone keeps her going up the stairs is just ARGH chefs kiss

fun fact zari's "there after her" line gets reused in the series finale

btw carmen falling of the tower scared me so bad when i first watched this at like 13. suicide fakeout <3 scared me so bad

also how the camera keeps moving even when carmen doesnt even seem to be in the picture anymore before her glider catches up with it. top. tier

and then the stockholm music kicks in. hoo mama the music in this episode is fucking unparalleled. that incessant, chilling, repetitive string instrument motif as carmen's situation begins to get really dire. aurgh.

carmen's continued pov as player starts getting really concerned about her and she fades in and out. carmen weaving all over the sky and crashing into shit grggrgrgr its so good

ivy getting tazed. yeah.

ivy can pass as an....argentinian.. right boys

player and zack when two out of four of their active teammates just went mia in the span of a minute: 👁️👄👁️

man do you think they thought it was an ambush or something. like i mean it was but an organized effort by one team. do you think zack was scared he would be next and that player would be left in the dark. anyway

the way moose picks ivy up by the scruff like a cat kills me

the citizens of stockholm on this day watching a foreign police strike happen at city hall and then a tourist get tazed, mugged, and kidnapped by some locals: 👁️👄👁️

IN WITH THE HIGH NOTES ON THE PIANO IN THAT SAME REPETITIVE, INCESSANT, CHILLING STYLE OF MUSIC THIS EPISODE HAS AS CARMNE LIES MOTIONLESS IN THE SNOW ARGEHDHDHGDGSDGSDHD

i really enjoy that they show us this desolate, still shot of carmen, completely motionless, trapped in a ravine, miles and miles away from the city. she doesnt wake up. its just the cold, harsh reality. and its starting to snow a lot harder.

julia just snatching the pen gets me every time

i love the emotion dropping out of chiefs tone once she sees the 5'2" pissed off lesbian on the other end

YES julia GO OFF she should have gotten to do so much more. she should have gotten to kill someone.

julia glancing back at zari when she says "chase her away and squander her trust" and zari turning away and balling her first is such a juicy little character moment

the venom in "we had an agreement." fhrjhgfejsjjd step on me

you know how people want that throwback spinoff series for the owl house with the lost moments. that but cs. shadowsan's malaysia mission, how the team operated and the jobs while carmen was recovering, more of black sheep's time at vile/her holdover year, her and player learning together once she tours around after escaping, the shanghai job (not the tsonts one), the cairo job, the swiss bank job. how julia got into law, how chase chose his name, more on carlotta and dexter, the two years after vile's defeat and before their reappearance, more of evil carmen, player's backstory as told in silver lion. there is. so much i want to see. tangent tally.

god. player's decision here is such a hard one. he's like sixteen, and he's potentially juggling the lives of two of his best friends with that line. the decision seems obvious, but in this case it is completely, entirely wrong. player's choice to save ivy instead of carmen damn near kills her, and there's no way he could have known. player guilt angst, please!

once again the music. thank you.

carmen's cry of pure pain as she moves juuust tickles something in my brain. she has no one to put on a brave face for and that crash landing HURT.

also how hoarse her voice is

the more groans of pain as she forces herself off the ground they are so good.

i love this episode for its look into carmen's psyche. so much of her is playing off of others, but in this one she is utterly alone. we see her thought processes in the worst of times with no one to fight but the weather and herself. fantastic shit. never forgiving sarcastic chorus for skimming over this episode and saying nothing happens did you watch it

the puff of breath when carmen says "player"!!!

carmen's tone when she goes "oookay." just is so good. gina did not skimp out on this performance and part of me wonders if she could have done better if she wasnt always trying to play the emotionless, suave hero figure and she let carmen be more human, like in this episode. carmen is seeing that she is injured, acme is trying to reach her, her glider is broken, she has no protection from the cold, and that player and any other help is completely out of range and she is not happy about it

carmen crying out when she slips even more when she's trying to climb its so tangible and delicious

FUN ANECODTE because i havent gone on enough tangents for this post already but the first time i ever saw this episode my dad came to pick me up for his half of the week right here. i had to leave the episode right here, with ivy kidnapped and mia and carmen alone in the frozen ravine, the acme pen blinking. i didnt have access to netflix to finish the episode. for. four. days. let me tell you. um. this episode literally did not let me sleep. that first night i was lying in bed i stayed up until like 3am just staring at the ceiling replaying the scenes and making theories. i was dry in the mouth. when i fell asleep i dreamed about it and kept waking up in the middle of the night. i cornered my dad and recounted the entire episode to him and then reeled off my theories to him. i reeled off my theories to my friends. i was literally consumed by the ending of this episode that i could not see. it was Not Healthy and it impacted me VERY HEAVILY as you can see.

but anyway my one theory was that carmen was going to be forced to call acme for help and be arrested because they kept doing closeups on the pen. good job, thirteen year old me. the foreshadowing worked.

back to the episode

ivys literally so cute in this episode

look at her.

ottoman has chihuahua vibes

the ice lodge staff watching two guys drag some poor red haired white bitch into the hotel like a sack of potatos: im sure shes fine they probably told them she was drunk lmao

im goosebumping something wicked here is one of the phrases of all time

DUMSKALLE

that raw, desperate "no" and scream from carmen is so good. that fall hurt five thousand times more because it was a failure. and also she probably just broke all the ribs that weren't broken before

it took me a few watches originally to see that carmen hits her glider on the way down. first time around i was like where tf did she get that wack ass blanket

draw me like one of your moose boys

moose boy unironically seems like a nice guy who got dragged into this by otter

can you imagine if they showed up with ivy and were like HAHA. CARMEN SANDIEGO. what would the faculty do with this poor white girl who is definitely not carmen. probably wipe her memory and boot out otter and moose but can you imagine their reactions

MOOSE BOY IS VOICED BY SONIC THE HEDGEHOG?? SCREAMING

or maybe it was right here that i got cut off with the panning shot of the pen and carmen sitting away from it staring at it. whatever it was but anyway yeah

the sadness and defeat as carmen shivers and tells this imaginary chief that vile is winning today either way just kills me i love it so much. carmen's death before capture ideology (almost. capture wins but it almost doesnt)

LAUNCH CODES? AS IN NUCYULAH?

also team red. didnt know what was on the data crystal!! they didnt know what the handoff was!!! they just knew it was fucking serious and that makes this all the more scary. had ivy not gotten kidnapped they would have missed it. i mean carmen would have probably tried to drag her foot on deaths doorstep ass over to the ice lodge to try anyway but she would have gotten triple pulverized

someone swinging (insert wieldy object) at a gigantic villain and it doing nothing is my favorite battle trope

more ivy appreciation

she said NOPE

ivy is literally so cool in this episode. she's still herself but she's trying to channel carmen and fill her gigantic shoes by making her proud. but she isnt carmen, and thats okay. she ends up doing it with a mix of carmen's help and her own goofy, clumsy style

AND IVYS TWANGY LITTLE VERSION OF CARMENS THEME AS SHE SUITS UP. ITS AWESOME

again. ivy being terrible on ice gag is the best. winters in boston must have been torture

man it doesnt even show all of it but you can see the agonizing that went into carmen's decision to call acme. once she makes it she doesnt hesitate in grabbing and clicking it. she does it seamlessly and with resignation. shes already fought with herself enough in her own head.

carmen: literally in the middle of the woods, shaking like a travelling fair rollercoaster ride, and bleeding from a thousand cuts chief: oh hey! sorry about that

MAN CARMEN THREW THAT PEN A LONG WAY

i also like that carmen has to heave herself up from sitting, and that she's only standing as a last display of control when every other ounce of it has been ripped from her. she has to lean on the tree, still, even to manage it. as soon as she pushes off of that tree and starts walking towards chief she collapses.

chief those business negotiations. can you wait

i do appreciate that chief doesnt play dumb or think carmen is dumb. she's been calling that pen for as long as carmens been staring at it. she knows carmen knows what calling her means and doesnt try to hide that theyre coming for her.

haha. where in the world is carmen sandiego reference. get it

MAN AND THEN EVERYTHING GETS SOO BAD. you realize just how serious this is when carmen drops the tough act and just reaches out. she does a quip, but her face is just hopeless and she drops like a STONE. she was barely hanging on. already dumped this onto rueitae's post but i think that as soon as she knew she'd done everything she could do and had exhausted every single option except dying on the spot. well. she didnt have a reason to hang on anymore. she gave up every single ounce of control to chief when she clicked that pen and her body needed to shut down to save her. so so so good

i really really like chief running over and hesitating before she puts her "hand" on carmens shoulder. she knows she cant do anything, but she can pretend and she can hope

i really do think she was concerned about carmen here, not just about the intel she was potentially losing. this scene mirrors her past with wolfe nearly perfectly, and it NEVER gets talked about. once again a call chief made on a person who turned out to have innocent intentions (gun was really car keys, julia going off the grid was really just her and carmen talking it out) gets them killed- or, in carmen's case, almost. chief, this time, has the power to save her and fix this mistake. parallels are also fun because obviously carmen is wolfe's daughter so double angst.

ivy immediately switching to suspicious spy face after she slams into the bar is so funny

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW OFTEN I USED TO JUST RANDOMLY SAY "hello, im shady mcshade from some sleazy rogue nation, check out my briefcase full of untraceable cash!" to just RANDOM PEOPLE IN MY LIFE with NO CONTEXT

the bartender is not paid enough for this

I LOVE THE LADY WHO JUST GETS TF OUTTA THERE WHEN IVY CRASHES INTO HER CHAIR

the little trill of carmens triumph theme when ivy looks at the grappling hook is so good

girl. ivy. you missed that REALLY BADLY for someone who threw an anchor up three stories with pinpoint accuracy like a couple years ago

poor ivy she was doing so well with the quips and the competence until she announced it to the entire ice lodge

warrior cats girls on the playground

ivys unhinged scream as she barells towards otter is so fantastic

it would really have super sucked if zack had run ivy over

again. this episode is so beautiful

i love that otter and moose would normally have never even been glanced at for an episode because they suck so bad but because it was untrained baby ivy (who still kicked their asses) they could be there also who assigned them the nuclear fucking launch codes. who did that

oh man you can see the smile drop off ivys face when zack asks where they can find carmen. she doesnt even think that carmen is still missing. she probably thinks carmens back on track by now, not that it would be HOURS later and shes still missing.

zack getting to ivy on the other side of stockholm: 🐌🐌🐌 zack getting to carmen twice as far away in the middle of the woods: 🦔 (too lazy to find sonic meme. sonic meme.)

julia just giving zari the most disappointed look when zari kicks carmen when shes down

FUN FACT OF THE DAY! in the original storyboards, julia and zari were supposed to get a SHOOKETH reaction shot when chief offers carmen a way out with z and i. they cut it. rude.

the pen lowering down to reveal julia behind it has always felt like such an important shot and i dont know why. like theres some symbolism im majorly missing out on there

ahh, the heartbroken look between friends

AGAIN this episode punches you like an elephant on steroids with that quiet "is she going to make it?" CARMEN IS ON THE BRINK. OF DEATH. AND HER FRIENDS ARENT EVEN CERTAIN SHES GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT. MAN. it raises the stakes up so high like obviously she wont die but in a tvy7 kids cartoon this is so fucking serious

carmen, delirious with the cold and pain, wondering if someone made a clone of her:

addressing all groups of people from now on as "student body most vile"

hey vile has a sick waterfall wall

it is really interesting that they do in fact shut down the academy. no one is allowed at the castle anymore once they move there. its also cool that in s4 because bellum doesnt have to be there teaching she can go to the himalayas and tinker full time!

wow. zuko and luz are in that crowd <3

okay. so. best episode ever. i love it so much and ive already gushed about it way too much so i wont keep you much longer.

tangent tally final count: like at least five it depends how specific you are

sorry about how long this is take it up with a brick wall it will be remorseful than me

[jigensnacks]

okay okay hear me out

ima put this under a read more because i know there are people around who are generally uncomfortable with content relating to alcohol

but! I had a revelation about Jigen and his alcohol preferences.

Disclaimer, I am mildly tipsy as I am writing this. I may or may not get lost in my own thoughts, so please bear with me here, alright?

Content warnings: alcohol (of course), alcohol abuse, maybe more. I dunno at the moment.

Okay. Jigen's alcohol preferences.

At first I couldn't wrap my head around Jigen's appreciation of wine, like that guy's a borderline alcoholic with the way he drinks (which I extend into full-blown alcoholism in my writing, I'll get to this later on), he cannot possibly like wine, wine is weak, why would he even like the stuff?

I came at the issue from the point of view of someone who prefers liquor. Stuff like vodka, whiskey, borovička. You know, the heavy artillery. Poisons that dull the mind and destroy the liver.

But I've tried wine recently. Got the explanation of the ritual of wine-drinking.

And then it suddenly clicked.

Wine has its purpose in Jigen's toolkit of escapism. You have the cigarettes, a way to remind himself that he's not in danger, that he's out of the fight and just vibing, passing time, relaxing. Then there's scotch, the first-aid kit, when everything is too much and he's antsy and nervous and he needs to dull the edge. It's the painkiller, in a way. The glue to mend those invisible wounds, the cause and solution of all of world's problems.

And then there is wine.

It's not to be wielded like a sledgehamer known as liquor. Wine is a delicate tool, when liquor is too much, when he wants to relax, but he doesn't want to dull his senses too much. There aren't any demons to suffocate, he doesn't want to get drunk, his only intention is just to sit down, lean back, have a moment to himself.

To Jigen, wine is like classical music. It's not something to binge, but to immerse himself in, soak in it, have slow, ginger sips. Relish in the taste, the warmth. There's a reason the ancient Romans and Greeks had a god of wine.

Now, how does this tie to my 'Jigen is a barely functional alcoholic' headcanon?

It's the antithesis of liquor. Liquor is the main poison, Jigen pours it into himself to drown out the noise in his head, the lingering pains, to keep his limbs heavy and limp to keep himself from doing something worse. It's his salvation and his downfall, it frees the demons lurking in his mind, yet it keeps them docile, harmless. It allows his mind to swim along, face his fears, it frees his feelings... but it's also a pathway to destruction. With his thoughts and feelings freed comes a different danger - self-destruction. Liquor becomes not only the tool of healing, but one of destruction too. When a heist goes off the rails and they make it home, when the crushing weight of failure sets in and Lupin looks at him with a gaze full of apologies, that's when Jigen grabs his poison of choice and takes his anger out on himself. While Goemon subjects himself to gruelling training to make sure he doesn't fail again, Jigen instead drinks himself mute, lies on the ground staring emptily at the ceiling, reliving every past mistake. That's the start of the cycle, he falls into the drink, struggles to get out of it for months on end. Until his body starts showing the withdrawal symptoms when he's sobering up, the headaches, the feeling of a thousand ants marching all over his skin, the shadow people staring at him, the music plaing from the walls, the muffled conversations from other rooms that never happened, the way his hands shake...

Wine is a way for him to pace himself. His philosophy around wine is basically if someone drinks wine like liquor, there ain't no use hanging around them. Jigen doesn't want wine to become just another tool of thorough self-annihilation. Jigen sees wine as a way to regain control again. It's much weaker than liquor (if we ignore port wine, but I suspect he wouldn't like such wines), and, unlike the heavy artillery he relies on, wine has personality. While liquor is the path of scorched earth, wine is so much calmer. It has a soul, personality, it evolves like classical music. It has elaborate constructions, just swap the musical tones for taste ones.

He reaches for the wine when he doesn't want to fall into that horrible spiral.

Wine - along with food - marks the line between functionality and destruction.

Wine isn't something he can drink quickly. He tried, and found out it only makes him sick.

So he grabs a bottle of a four-year-old italian merlot. Pours himself a glass. Takes a sip. Feels the slight sourness at the back of his tongue. The woody tones playing at the rest of it. The sweetness at the very tip.

He stares down the beast. Sleeping, yet aware. And while he stays with the wine, it'll remain asleep.

I don't know where I was going with this. I blame the wine.

[iamthecomet]

Challenge!!!! Due to your last reblog. 😈😈 Dew is needing super soft. Not the softness Rain can provide. That isn't enough. He needs the softness that only Copia can provide. Unfortunately for him they miscommunicate horribly and Copia trys to be hard (which he fails horribly) because he heard Dew likes that. This sends Dew into a bad headspace and THEN Copia cuteness

Oh fuck. Ok, hang on. You've really upped the ante on the challenges, Plas. Let's see what I can do with limited space/time. ♥♥ I fucking love you for these by the way.

CW: For someone not safe-wording when they absolutely should. As well as safeword use. 

Dew can’t even be upset with anyone but himself, it’s his fault. He should be better about asking what he wants. 

He should be better about asking for vulnerability when he wants it. 

But in his defense, he never has to ask with Rain. He just shows up, shoulders hunched in, fingers twitching into fists. And all he has to say is Hi Raincloud and Rain knows. But even Rain has an edge that Dew doesn’t think he can handle today.  And Copia is usually too soft. A delicate gentle touch that sets him on edge. But today, he wanted it.  But that isn’t what he’s getting. And really, it’s his own fault for not negotiating properly. He didn’t think he had to, and now-- Copia’s fingers grip into Dew’s cheeks, hard. The pain sends an unwelcomed spike of what feels like panic down his spine. He looks up at Copia. He knows his Papa well enough to know that all of the confidence on his face is false. He is trying too hard to give Dew something that Dew doesn’t even want and Dew can’t figure out how to open his mouth to get it to just stop. 

He’s embarrassed. 

That just makes it all so much worse. 

He feels the heat rise to his cheeks, the burn starting in his throat and he’s not going to cry. He isn’t. And he’s not going to beg either, if this is what Copia wants then he’ll--but it isn’t what Copia wants is it? It’s what Copia thinks Dew wants. Dew isn’t sure anymore, can’t keep the thoughts straight in his head. He feels the same pull to please as he usually does, but it’s laced with something else this time. There’s no haze, no freedom. It’s oppressive. A weight pressing him through the floor. 

He feels like he’s back in the pit. 

Copia pulls him forward, dragging him off of his knees. Dew’s forced to catch himself on his palms, the impact of it jars up to his elbows. His body is alive with sensation, overwhelmed. The blunt edges of Copia’s nails dig into his cheek and Dew has to bite down on his own cheek until he bleeds to keep himself together. 

Copia isn’t really talking to him. Dew knows it’s because he never knows what to say like this. Copia doesn’t know how to degrade him, at least not convincingly, and Dew is thankful for that at least because he can’t do that right now.  Pain he can deal with, he can ride out the physical sensation for as long as he needs to. 

Copia shifts his grip to dig his fingers into Dew’s hair, forcing him up onto his knees and  pulling his head back so Dew has to look up at him. By now, Dew should be glassy-eyed, his cock pressed painfully against his zipper. He should be drooling and begging.  Instead he blinks up at his Papa and tries to breathe around the lump forming in his throat. The tears have no pleasure behind them, they’re real. And he doesn’t deserve them. And even though he knows the right words to make all of this stop, he doesn’t deserve that either.  He can’t even ask for what he wants.  So he deserves what he gets. 

“Is this not enough?” Copia asks, it isn’t a real question. There’s venom behind the words and even though Dew knows it’s performative it doesn’t matter. They land like they’re real. “Am I not enough for you, demon? Should I call someone else? Ifrit maybe?”  “Fuck,” the word rasps out of Dew’s mouth, desperate and whiny. He wants to shove it back down. Copia’s gloved hand grips in his hair.  “You like that idea, don’t you?” 

“No,” Dew says honest, tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes. It’s too much, he can’t do this. Not if Copia keeps pulling at this thread. He’s going to fucking unravel. 

“Yes, of course you do. You’re the abbey whore--”

“I’m--fuck--please. Red. I’m fucking red. Stop.”    Copia’s hand goes slack and Dew has just enough time left upright to process that Copia has face is blanched, his eyes wide, before Dew is toppling forward again. He catches himself just before his head bounces off the floor.  The next breath he drags in catches on a sob.  Copia wraps both arms around him and pulls him over. Copia’s on the floor now too, back propped up against the loveseat he was probably planning on bending Dew over. He slides Dew between his legs, pressing his face to his chest as Dew sobs against him. 

“Can you talk to me, Firefly? Please?”  Dew drags in a shaky breath, he swallows a sob. “I wanted--shit--it’s fine. I’m fine.” 

“Dew--”

“Soft. I came to you because I wanted--I’m so fucking stupid.” 

“Dewdrop, no. You’re not. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?”  Dew shakes his head. He presses his face harder against Copia’s chest, digs his fingers into the back of his jacket so hard he’s probably tearing it. But Copia doesn’t seem to care. He adjusts his hold so it’s a little more comfortable for both of them, and then he presses his lips to the top of Dew’s head.  They stay there for a while, Dew looses track of time. There is only his Papa with his hand stroking gently though his hair, the other gentle on his waist, an anchor. He doesn’t cry for long, but he basks in the hold anyway. Eventually Copia shifts him. He presses two fingers under Dew’s chin and tilts his head up so they can look at each other.  “Can you tell me what you need now?”  “Gentle,” Dew says, simple, his voice still sandpaper rough. 

“I can do that, firefly. Let me take care of you.” 

[chocoblep]

#17: Plan D

Prompt: Sally

:This is a bad idea.: Rath directed that thought at Illian, who crouched near the outer wall of their makeshift shelter. It was little more than a cave, a small hole about the size of Rath’s face the only thing allowing light to permeate the space. They’d shoved a huge rock in the other hole, the one that they’d entered through. :They pick up on the slightest of scents. They leave trails for their friends to follow. Who knows if they can hear us if we make noise.:

:Yeah, I don’t know,: came a thought in return. While Illian was not a mind-reader and had no telepathic tendencies, Rath was unable to turn off his ability to read surface thoughts. Thankfully, that was a relatively short-range ability, so the only things he could hear in his mind were Illian’s mental thoughts in response to his own communications and the vague sense of consciousness that less intelligent species gave off within earshot that were preoccupied with their search for food. :I know you wanted to distract them, but who knows if they would go for it? And besides, Fox’s been wanting to try out her new toy. Let her have some fun.:

Rath stared at Illian, watching the half-elezen as he in turn peeked through the hole in the wall. :I hate this,: he thought sourly, and several scenarios ran through his mind of ways that Fox could have been killed or seriously injured.

:I know you do. But we’ve only been waiting for an hour, Rath. She’s fine; the earring hasn’t gone cold yet.: He only glanced in Rath’s direction; shrouded in shadow as he was, he didn’t expect Illian to be able to see him.

He swished his tail in annoyance and let out a quiet huff in the darkness.

Soft, rhythmic clicking answered him, and both he and Illian froze in place as one of Cutter’s Cry’s sentries skittered past. Something had alerted it, and it paid the two intruders no mind as it left the vicinity entirely. 

Either Fox had been successful in her distraction, or she was in big trouble. The two of them started going through ideas and throwing them out in rapid succession. When Illian glanced to the rock blocking the entrance to their little safehouse, Rath turned to reach out a hand toward it–and nearly jumped out of his skin as a loud, panicked thought pierced his senses.

No, not panicked. Excited.

:HOWDY BOYS! IT WORKED BUT THEY WERE IN THE WORST POSSIBLE PLACE OH GODS THEY’RE GAINING ON ME OPEN THE HOLE!:

Leveraging all of his mental strength, Rath used his mind to yank the boulder aside just enough for a person to squeeze through. It wasn’t a person who came through first, though; a massive cocoon was shoved into the space, and Rath recoiled from its sudden proximity. A hyuran woman followed quickly behind, practically shouting at him in her mind to close the hole again. He did so, and heard multiple thuds against it as other bodies tried to follow. The boulder immediately started moving inward, and Rath scrambled to hold it in place with his power.

“WHOOOOO, SUCK IT, ANTS,” the woman half-shouted, half-panted as she caught her breath.

“You were supposed to give us a signal to bail you out, Fox!” Illian had to raise his voice as he scrambled back from the wall to avoid giant ant limbs as they probed through the face-sized hole. 

Thankfully, they couldn’t fit through that hole either, but the thought of them pushing the boulder into their tiny cavern sent a wave of nausea crashing over Rath. If they got in, there would be no room to fight. They would be dead.

“I dropped the pearl in the water and couldn’t go in after it,” the woman replied almost nonchalantly, pulling a cobweb out of her silky black hair.

“And now we’re trapped with an army of ants outside,” Rath growled, his tail flicking double-time. The entire colony was on alert, and all of the alarm in their heads had pervaded this area, making its way into his own mind. His heart hammered against his rib cage. He felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin. “We have to go. I can’t hold this rock in place much longer, so think of something, please.”

Illian’s hand found Rath’s shoulder in the darkness; perhaps he’d heard the way Rath’s voice had begun to rise and quiver at the end of his request, or perhaps Rath wasn’t being good about containing the sudden panic that had washed over him, but he was grateful for the stability in that moment.

“I’ve got an idea,” Illian said, “But we’re still likely going to have to fight our way out. If you can concentrate on keeping the cocoon away from them, Fox and I can drive them off.”

“What do you want me to do?” Fox asked, shifting nearby. “Wait. WAIT. Is it time for Plan D!?”

The rock jolted in place, and Rath doubled down his efforts, but it didn’t matter too much; ants were very good at tunneling, and what was once a face-sized hole had already grown big enough to accommodate an ant head, which was already shoved into it and snapping at Illian’s jacket sleeve. Rath’s panic spiked again, and he grit his teeth to try and work his way through his quickly scattering mental faculties.

“I’m not touching it!” Rath protested, but Illian was already addressing Fox.

“It’s time for Plan D,” Illian confirmed, and Rath’s stomach dropped. Plan D was the absolute last resort, but there really was no other option. “On my count. Three…”

Rath’s muscles tensed.

“Two…”

All three of them shifted into ready stances, shimmying along to one side of the tiny cavern, away from the hole in the wall but closer to the giant boulder that the ants were still trying to move.

“One…”

Fox clicked off the safety on her gun. It sounded like it was less than an ilm from his ear, even overtop of the commotion outside. 

“GO!”

Illian threw his hands out toward the ant who’d shoved its head through the wall, and streaks of flame shot from his fingers. Rath had never heard a giant ant scream before, but the sound it made as it backed out of the hole was enough to make him pin his ears flat to his head and wince. Almost immediately, Fox was bunkered next to the hole, the barrel of her revolver aimed out at the mass of writhing bodies outside. Two shots rang, and the noise got louder as giant insects scattered, but the pressure on the boulder lessened.

“Three still on it!” Fox shouted, and shot again. More clamoring. Another shot. Two more and she’d need to reload. “One!”

“Move the rock and grab the prize!” Illian shouted, and Rath didn’t have time to tell him that no, he was not touching this disgusting thing. He moved the boulder and Illian shot a fireball right into the last ant, and then Rath was floating the cocoon in front of him as they bolted out of the chamber. The ants that had scattered immediately gave chase, and though they were fast, Illian’s spell-work was faster–or perhaps it was the fire-crystal-powered gun he pulled out of his jacket pocket. Rath didn’t look back to check, but he felt the heat at his back and saw Fox reloading her revolver as they ran. 

The colony was a maze that they’d mapped out already, but more than once they took a wrong turn, left with no choice but to follow the path until they encountered one of the marks they’d made. Fox led them down a narrow corridor. Ants poured in behind them, forced to march single file through the bottleneck, and Illian kept them at bay with his fire as they went, managing to burn one badly enough that he heard another of those terrible screams.

“Got it! They won’t be following us through here!” Illian crowed.

Rath was too busy concentrating on keeping the cocoon airborne to reply, his thoughts occupied by just how gross the thing was. Seriously. There was an ant twitching inside it. It was much smaller than the ones chasing them, but it was still a giant ant, and if there was one thing that Rath hated with a passion, it was bugs. As they rounded another corner, he saw sunlight and nearly wept. Not much longer, and they would be outside and he could put this thing down and make someone else carry it.

The sound of Fox’s gunshots startled him out of that thought, and he threw all of his energy into getting out of the cavern. All three of them put on a burst of speed as they hit the open air, and Fox suddenly stopped, whipping around and bringing something up to her mouth.

“FIRE IN THE HOLE!” she hollered.

Rath nearly tripped in surprise as an explosion sounded behind them. Illian cursed. All three of them kept running until they couldn’t anymore, and they stumbled to a halt, panting heavily as they bent over their knees. Rath lowered the cocoon onto the ground, and Fox pulled a wad of fabric from her bag. It was a sack, which she carefully put the cocoon into, and then tied off. 

“Phew! Thanks. I’ll carry it from here,” she said, and then hoisted it over her shoulder.

“You couldn’t have put it in the bag back in the cave?” Rath asked, wrinkling his nose.

“And get ant pheromones all over it? Nah. It’d lead ‘em straight to us.”

“And if any part of that had touched me, it wouldn’t have made it out of that cave--no, stop thinking about it, augh!” He turned away from Fox, as if her mental image of him running after the cocoon while shouting ‘Ew, ew, ew, ew!’ on repeat in rapid succession could be shoved out of his mind simply by doing so. He hadn’t done that. At least, he thought he hadn’t done that. His breakfast nearly came back up when her mental image turned into him running into the thing face-first. “Fox, please,” he pleaded, and she cackled madly.

“Let’s take this thing to its new home, eh?” she said, and Illian came to collect Rath, threading his arm around the Miqo’te’s shoulders as much to hold him up as to comfort him.

“Come on,” he said, “It’s time for you to wake up.”

Rath shot upright in his bed, breathing heavily, startling Illian and causing the man to jerk his hand away.

“Gods above!” The blonde half-elezen gave a startled laugh. ”I just came in here to wake you and you were talking in your sleep. Didn’t even lay a hand on you before you shot up!”

“Was I? What was I saying?” Rath asked, the grogginess starting to win out against the startlement of jerking awake.

Illian’s blue eyes twinkled, and dread crept into Rath’s limbs as the man leaned in and down, his golden braid sliding over his shoulder to hand down and swing like a pendulum between them. He pitched his voice high and breathy.

“Ew, ew, ew, ew!”

Rath groaned, falling backward into his pillow again. “It was the ants, Illy!” he called out, trying to drown out the syllable as Illian repeated it, getting into Rath’s space. “You’re lucky I like you, you insufferable asshole!”

“You really should stop letting your dreams bug you so much.” As Illian straightened, he flipped his braid back over his shoulder and started toward the door, laughing as a pillow soared right into his head.

M’rath loved his best friend, but it was too early in the morning for these shenanigans. He rolled over and pulled the blankets back up over his shoulders. Another few minutes of sleep wouldn’t hurt.

[kyujosha]

056. ▸ tags 》 trevor philips . . .

[kumonomukoue]

TWST: Historia principal – Episodio 7-140 (traducción español)

Libro 7 - El Líder del Abismo (Diasomnia)

Episodio 7-140 ¡Búsqueda abrasadora!

[ ♪ ]

PASILLO DE LOS SUEÑOS

ORTHO: El seguimiento de señales espectrales ha sido completado. Ha llegado a las coordenadas seleccionadas.

VIL: ¡AAAAAAAAAAY!

¡Nadie me avisó de esto, que se acabe ya! *se aferra a Silver*

SILVER: ¡Vil senpai… ya hemos aterrizado!

VIL: ¡Por favor! ¡AAAAAAY! ¿Eh, ya está?

SILVER: Vil senpai me ha agarrado tan fuerte de repente que no podía mover ni un pelo.

Me ha recordado a las llaves de judo que me hacía señor padre…

Yo solo no habría podido realizar el aterrizaje, ha sido gracias a las instrucciones de Ortho.

SEBEK: Qué capacidad pulmonar y qué potencia vocal tendrá que tener para pasarse todo el viaje chillando.

¡Pensé que me iba a quedar sin tímpanos!

ORTHO: Creo que tú tampoco eres quien para hablar de potencia vocal.

VIL: Seguro que esto es lo que siente un arándano congelado en una batidora. 

SILVER: Siento no haber podido darte un viaje ligero. 

VIL: ¡Ejem! No te equivoques, no te culpo a ti.

Tan sólo me he asustado un poco y he perdido la compostura. ¿... Qué maúllas tú, Grim?

¡Oye, Yuu! ¿Sabías desde el principio que cruzar sueños era así de brusco?

YUU: Sí… / Sí. ¡Pero me pareció divertido ocultarlo!

VIL: ¡Si lo sabías, habérmelo dicho!

GRIM: Nosotros tampoco lo sabíamos la primera vez y lo pasamos fatal.

Sería injusto que sólo tú estuvieses preparado mentalmente.

VIL: Hay que ver, todos los alumnos de esta escuela son iguales. ¡Aay jo, mi pelo, maquillaje y ropa están hechos un desastre!

IDIA: ¡JUAJUAJAJA!

¡Nunca imaginé que oiría esos grititos tan patéticos saliendo de Vil!

Tienes suerte de no haber hecho el ridículo delante de los de tu mismo dormitorio.

VIL: Cállate, Idia. ¿Te destrozo esa pantallita?

IDIA: ¡Jujiji! Adelante, por mucho que rompas la pantalla, a mí no me harás daño.

Esto es el mundo de la imaginación, tengo vidas infinitas~

ORTHO: ¡Muy bieeeen, ya basta de pelear!

GRIM: Bien dicho, Ortho. Esta gente no tiene ni una pizca de consideración.

VIL: Que me lo diga Grim es el pico de la humillación… Pero tiene razón.

Vamos de una vez a buscar al dueño de este sueño y despertarlo.

SILVER: Sí. Este sitio… No creo que esté en la escuela.

VIL: Si no estamos en la escuela, los uniformes de dormitorio serán demasiado llamativos. Tenemos que cambiarnos al uniforme de clase.

TODOS: ¡Dream Form Change!

SEBEK: Bien. Sin más dilación, busquemos al dueño de este sueño.

*chsss… chss…*

GRIM: ¿Qué es ese edificio de ahí? Con ese techo en forma de cebolla, se parece a Scarabia.

*chss… chssss…*

ORTHO: Es el estilo arquitectónico del País de la Arena Ardiente. Está tan reluciente que parece nuevo. 

*chsss… chsss…*

VIL: Hace tanto sol que siento que me va a atravesar la piel. Por cierto…

TODOS: ¡QUÉ CALORAZO!

SEBEK: ¡Uugh, estoy sudando sin hacer nada!

IDIA: M-mierda…

¡Si sube la temperatura interna de la tablet se va a apagar!

¡Me pasa por ser demasiado realista imaginando dispositivos…!

GRIM: ¡Fuaaaag! El suelo está tan caliente que siento pinchazos en las patitas, ¡no aguanto más!

¡Me voy a dar un bañito en esa fuente de ahí, ta’luego!

SEBEK: ¡Grim, que estamos en propiedad pública!

*¡plas!*

GRIM: Fuaa~ Qué fresquitas se me han quedado las patas.

VIL: Hay que ver, la fuente no es una piscina. ¡Sal ahora mismo de ahí!

SILVER: ¿Hm? Hay una estatua dorada en el centro de la fuente a la que se ha tirado Grim.

SILVER: Tengo la impresión de haber visto antes a ese abuelo. 

¿¿¿???: Ese abuelo es el benevolente gobernante del Oasis Legendario.

¿¿¿???: Era un hombre tan sincero que, ante cualquier preocupación, te aconsejaba sin tapujos…

… y te ayudaba a buscar una solución.

Y se dice que con el paso de las generaciones, fue cambiando las leyes de forma proactiva.

¿A que es genial?

¿¿¿???: En la Academia del Sultanato Qasr ¹ admiramos el espíritu altruista del benevolente gobernante del oasis.

GRIM: Pero si eres…

TODOS: ¡Kalim!

[ ☆ ]

¹ Al parecer qasr (قصر) significa castillo o palacio en árabe y “saltanat” sultanato (سلطنة). Juntos harían “Castillo del Sultanato”.

Siguiente → Episodio 7-141 ¡Lluvia bendita!

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“Seguro que esto es lo que siente un arándano congelado en una batidora”.

– Vil Schoenheit

Poesía pura, si me preguntan.

Me encantan los gritos de Vil, si podéis, id a escucharlos en el juego, jajaja. Son literalmente “KYAAAA”. 

Aquí está Kalim, estoy deseando ver cómo es su sueño y qué dilema se le presenta 👀 (Como alguien le haga pasarlo mal me m*to).

Un dato curioso sobre el pie de nota en el que explico que qasr significa castillo en árabe, es que la palabra “alcázar” viene de al-qasr, y que a su vez viene del latín castrum. Por tanto, en español decimos castillo por el latín (en este caso adaptado de castellum, diminutivo de castrum) y alcázar por el árabe y a su vez por el latín otra vez. Me ha parecido curioso que qasr suene un poco parecido a castillo y he hecho bien en investigarlo con un par de búsquedas en Google, la etimología siempre me sorprende :) 

¡Espero que os haya gustado y podéis sugerirme correcciones en los comentarios!

[recyclecreatedesign]

Prótesis // Por L.Muñoz

Material, origen, uso, ya sea plástico, metales, o cualquier otro material reciclable, somos nosotros los que le damos forma, un nuevo uso, un nuevo destino.

Prótesis del latín "prosthesis",del griego "πρόθεσις" (prosthetikí), que significa "colocación delante". En palabras médicas una prótesis se describe como un dispositivo artificial diseñado para reemplazar una parte del cuerpo que falta o está dañada. En mis palabras; Es otra oportunidad.

De una persona en silla de ruedas por un accidente automovilístico, a alguien que puede volver a caminar (más difícil que antes) hacia su casa, al trabajo, a disfrutar de un paseo sin que nadie esté empujando a otro. “Los caminos más difíciles son para los guerreros fuertes que no temen en avanzar”

Innovar, cambiar, optimizar… Ayudar, fue lo que pensé cuando observe al gato de mi amigo, le faltaba una pata delantera, “una estructura ergonómica y cómoda”-Pensé- algo que podría solventar aunque sea un poco a otro ser, si se puede cotizar en humanos estas prótesis, que tan diferente es para un pequeño animal, más pequeño, menos material, menos usos (solo apoyo para moverse) aun así es menos popular que las prótesis humanas.

Desde mi juventud tuve aspiraciones a las modificaciones corporales inspiradas con los temas cyberpunk, mejoras del cuerpo o equipamiento para este. En mi adolescencia me divertía construyendo indumentaria de madera, inspirándome con art attack para crear diversos objetos con materiales caseros, uno que siempre recordaré es la extensión de mano hecha de cartón y tirantes. Cosas como esas me llevaron a la mente creativa y diversa que poseo hoy en día.

En multitud de casos, estas “mascotas” que al final es alguien más de la familia, los optan por enseñarles a vivir con una discapacidad o con una silla de ruedas en casos de parálisis o mal formación en perros y gatos.

Ya que sentí la necesidad de ayudar al gato de un amigo el cual me lo presentó y el felino carecía de su pata delantera izquierda.

Quise generar una ayuda, diseñando por cuenta propia una prótesis felina (por ahora)

Que disponga de la comodidad de una pata lo más orgánica posible.

A base de materiales reciclados: plástico, metal (cable) y caucho o silicona.

Dependiendo de qué extremidad se tratase se pueden hacer cambios personalizados.

Cuenta con una cámara en la cual reposara el miembro Incapasitado del animal, en base de plástico PLA material usado en impresoras 3D, el cual se piensa ser utilizado para maximizar la producción.

En la sección inferior yace una base rodeada de alambre para permitir una limitada rotación, la cual simula la rotación del antebrazo y del codo.

La parte que supondría el fin de la pierna, la “pata” sería de un material muy resistente a temperatura y abrasivo pero que fuera ligero y adaptable al terreno, por lo tanto se optó por el caucho reciclado o silicona endurecida en su reemplazo.

[i-am-a-megalodon]

Whimsigothic home decor on a budget

Lights.  Not everyone has the money for a Tiffany stained glass lamp nor a fringed Victorian-style lampshade, and that is ok.  Try a typical string of white fairy lights, or nature and fantasy themed lights.  You can also get a stained glass lightbulb.  https://lavenderconstellation.store/collections/home-decor/products/magical-mushroom-lamp-led-night-light

Speaking of stained glass, window film is a good option for bringing color into your home.  There are several stained glass design options, or you can go for a prism-like option that’ll shower your room in rainbows.  https://www.amazon.com/rabbitgoo-Privacy-Rainbow-Decorative-Non-Adhesive/dp/B01N20YR6B/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.7IuzOBu9keKshTNN3mkd-N8tpWAFsYRIV0ouHNdEeeuFQnxmfPWSlIj5AOINltgujXJL350fjcuPUqvkA7qE8EV1jRIp3Cb7SS2E_3ensZDC7YGrIUJUDuFoXyJUzoAaubOT4MHDFyxAGa0O0KJwLJrcka1cbIBBm6sqvWoPlmqYUfWb8Y3oQgzmLpqKP4JPQewDsYs5zoCzWcJwRlsZe-XMkEKHkIV98glPdYzd9X4VADl3IciKUs5lbNxqpoC3jFFKBPHnXHYxVJIFsY2jXvZb2m7XpyYM6uFeAZX_GCs.vV9V3wtusdEYUCL87IAKODkjErjag0hvIDXX576-Ppw&dib_tag=se&hvadid=557208947650&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9004664&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=9072085278713993898&hvtargid=kwd-408635345190&hydadcr=7467_13183976&keywords=amazon+rainbow+window+film&qid=1712327956&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1

Tapestries! Could have celestial prints, tarot cards, dark nature prints, or a mandala.

Plants! Real ones, fake ones, doesn’t matter. Find some celestial themed planting pots.  Hang some vines. 

More tips:

DIY! Paint your mirror frame.  Paint an old box.  Have fun!

Don’t do a big shopping haul at once.  Pace yourself. Slowly incorporate decor elements into your home.  Let the vibe grow naturally.

[labitacoradelhombresolitario]

Del cuaderno... (XIV)

RECORDANDO A HUBERT SELBY

La imagen de Hubert Selby se me viene a menudo a la cabeza. Al legendario escritor neoyorquino tuve la ocasión de visitarlo, en su modestísimo retiro de Hollywood, hace algo más de veintiséis años: en el mes de octubre de 1997. Recuerdo que tras mi primer contacto escrito con él hablamos personalmente por teléfono algún tiempo antes de mi viaje a Los Ángeles. Lo llamé desde un locutorio de Telefónica situado en el paseo del Muro, en Gijón, a la altura de la Escalerona.

Era una de esas situaciones en las que no te acabas de creer que un particular deseo, largamente acariciado, pueda estar realmente verificándose; la sensación experimentada comparte aspectos —salvando las sutiles distancias— con ese frisson de alegría que sin poderlo evitar se apodera de uno el día de su cumpleaños, o en fiestas como Navidad. Me imagino que quien gana un modesto premio de lotería (los premios gigantescos serán sin duda otra cosa) siente algo parecido.

Al cabo de unas semanas, el nada desdeñable premio de lotería (lo que Pla hubiera llamado una «propina») se había hecho realidad, y allí estaba yo, en Hollywood, charlando de la vida y la muerte y de lo divino y lo humano nada menos que con el autor de la mítica Última salida para Brooklyn. Era una cosa mágica, todavía un tanto irreal, por más que yo en ese momento ya hubiera tenido tiempo para hacerme a la idea de que no se trataba de un sueño.

He contado en al menos dos ocasiones mi encuentro y larga conversación con Hubert Selby. La charla, que transcribí entera a mi vuelta de los EUA, se convirtió en un pequeño libro de entre sesenta y ochenta páginas a simple espacio en mecanuscrito (calculo que unas treinta mil palabras). Ese original, por desgracia, terminó traspapelándose; impreso y encuadernado, acabó en manos de José Ángel Mañas, que pretendía enseñárselo a una especialista francesa en literatura norteamericana contemporánea, muy interesada en mi intercambio con el novelista de Brooklyn; y luego, entre cajas de mudanza y avatares vitales —tanto de Jose como míos— se extravió definitivamente. Lo cual resultó ser una pequeña tragedia, aunque la pérdida no fuera completa, porque las cintas en las que registré íntegramente mis horas de plática con Selby obran aún en mi poder (llevo lustros diciéndome que debería volver a la carga y transcribirlas de nuevo, y el asunto se va tornando verdaderamente urgente, pues el único reproductor de casetes que todavía poseo ni siquiera sé si funcionará como es debido; y ese aparato debe ofrecerme la última oportunidad para rescatar el impagable material. Otra tarea que se añade a mi casi inabordable cúmulo de labores actualmente pendientes).

De Selby, que estaba ya bastante enfermo y físicamente depauperado, recuerdo muchas cosas; pero hubo un momento de nuestro encuentro que se me quedó especialmente grabado en la memoria: «Tengo días y tengo días —me decía hacia al final de nuestro dilatado coloquio el autor de Réquiem por un sueño—. Hay mañanas en que me levanto y estoy más o menos bien, y puedo sentarme ante la máquina de escribir y sacarme de la manga unas horas de trabajo; y luego hay mañanas en que apenas me levanto me encuentro tan mal que he de volverme a la cama y olvidarme de cualquier posible intento de actividad, creativa o de otra clase, porque estoy que no puedo ni con mi alma».

No he llegado a los extremos de Selby; afortunadamente, gozo de buena salud, y por ahora no se presentan obstáculos verdaderamente insalvables para seguir adelante con mi trabajo. Mi «mente poderosa», sin embargo, no me da tregua; en ciertas jornadas, como la de ayer (vértigo, mareos, caídas hacia los lados, ataque de ansiedad en toda regla), siento que ya sin demora me voy para el otro barrio, psíquicamente al menos. Después se dan jornadas, como la de hoy, en que por suerte estoy infinitamente mejor (ayer tuve que tomarme una cápsula de sulpirida; tal vez eso me ayudara); y aquí me hallo, útil de escritura en mano, laborando de nuevo en la faena que me salva.

A Dios rogando y con el mazo dando, prosigamos otro día con nuestra empresa y misión.

[27/02/24]

ROGER WOLFE

[444namesplus]

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