#Pixar did their homework right!

[kay9leo]

Thoughts on Inside Out 2 & Sebastian's Mind

After watching the movie, I'm honestly convinced that Anxiety is in charge of Sebastian's control board and managed to hook his Joy into it (along with Anger) and now almost all the emotions are following whatever plan Anxiety has. Especially Joy considering his endless optimism of finding a cure.

Oh and Anxiety's became more powerful when he got Slytherin's book and relic before it's control was taken away by Sadness at the end of his quest.

Poor boy never had a chance against Anxiety 😭

ALSO YOU SHOULD WATCH INSIDE OUT 2 😁

IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL THINGS! 😭😫😅😄

---Slight SPOILERS ON Inside Out 2 MOVIE Review---

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

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The movie felt like it projected my teen self out on the screen with Riley as a placeholder. It was horrifyingly filled with second-hand embarrassment but that's what also made it so great and does a decent job on projecting Anxiety and how to deal with it as well as what it means to be human.

PIXAR YOU DONE IT AGAIN

Now I'm going to go be cringe somewhere else and let those memories filled with those awkward angst emotions fade away 😭... that or bring them up to use in story-telling one day in the future. 😂

But man, did my teenage-self made a comeback of memories (with awkward ones as well) I thought had vanished behind the trauma that came with my young adulthood/20s 😭😭😭

Nope. Teenage me is still very alive inside of me and now my adult self has to calm her down and reassure her/healing my inner-child/teen and use all that psych tips I learned as a young adult and in therapy that allowed me to be at peace with my emotions/self.

[middenway]

The colour of Turning Red – Part 1

Turning Red is among my favourite Pixar films. This weekend I finally got to see it on the big screen and I just want to talk about something I really love about it—the way it uses colour to communicate its story. The key colours to watch are red, pink, and teal. Red is the colour of the panda, the unrestrained self. Pink is a muted version of this, a lightly curated version of the self, and teal is the restrained version of the self. This is how Meilin is introduced, all in pink; she's comfortable with who she is, but there's still a level of curation.

Did I say all in pink? Not quite. There is conspicuously a teal hairclip restraining her hair. And that's very important, because the hair is very important in this film too... but we'll get to that later.

Very early on, the film starts to establish teal as a kind of "responsible" colour, with Mei bragging about being practically an adult as she boards the bus, which is predominantly teal, and then she sits down to do her homework.

Note how in that second image how the bus's seats are pink, but all of them are up or hidden in shadow except for Mei's. She a hotspot in the centre. Also note that her homework book is teal.

At the opening title, Mei's by herself and unrestrained, so obviously the lighting is pink.

When Mei arrives at school, the overall palette is teal, but with pops of colour. This is a place where she has to curate her identity a bit, but there's still room to be a freer version of herself.

And here are her colourful friends, Miriam (green), budding goth Priya (yellow), and Abby (purple).

You'll note that Miriam is green, very close to teal, but distinct from it. There's a good reason for that and it speaks to her relationship with Mei. She's Mei's best friend, but she curates herself for her. After all, she thinks Mei's a little brainwashed, but she wouldn't say that to her face.

And then there's Tyler, coded purple, which is not traditionally a masculine colour, a hint about the self that he's hiding from everyone, and why he's jealous of someone like Mei who can be a fuller version of herself. Note that the basketball court, the space most associated with him at the school, is also heavily defined by teal.

OK, on to the flute scene!

This is the scene where I fell totally in love with Turning Red. The energy here is fantastic. Note how saturated Mei's pinks are here. They are so close to red.

Here's Mei leaving school...

...notice how pink begins to dominate the palette more. She's freer here, more herself when she's alone with her friends. Now's a good time to point out the gentle pastel lighting in Turning Red. It's a comforting look, and the contrast gets ramped up in moments of heightened emotion.

When we get to the Daisy Mart, we see Devon. This character is a budding story element, so the interior is teal, because it's a place where Mei would curate herself more, but we get pops of pink on Devon, a hint at how this character is going to evolve in Mei's eyes. (But mostly this location is coloured teal because of the role it plays later.)

OK, this is off topic, but I love this face.

4*Town fantasies are obviously very pink and very saturated for obvious reasons. Fun fact: Domee Shi calls this scene "Man Mountain" (from the director's commentary).

Another aside, but I love the way Miriam, Priya , and Abby often move as a unit. Each has their own distinct visually identity and quality of movement, but in most scenes they function almost like a single character, expressing slight variations on a central emotion.

How could anyone not love the lighting choices when Mei is presented with the 4*Town's '99 Australian Tour CD?

Now we get to the panda temple, and I love this because it's a combination of red and teal. It's important to understand that teal is not a bad colour in Turning Red. It is a perfectly valid way to express yourself, but it's not right for everyone.

The temple also is a space where Mei is curating herself for her mother and visitors to the temple, but in she can also let other aspects of herself come out, and we see that in the way she has fun with her mum while sweeping. It's a really cute way to express this duality.

Note the mirrored colours in Mei and Ming. Mei is all pink with a hairpin that's teal, while her mother is all teal with a red pendant... That red pendant is a really big part of Ming, but we'll go into that later. (Also, I love the round shapes of Mei against the sharper lines of Ming.)

Now we go to Ming's home, which is a mix of teals and pinks, but it's mostly white. This means that it takes on the colour of the lighting, so that in different scenes this space serves different functions. Jin, Mei's father, is likewise predominantly white, reflecting his mild character and role as a neutral party.

Then we have Mei in her bedroom doing her homework. Note that this is her room and yet it is almost completely teal. There as just a few spots of pink, like the heart, the discman (which is playing 4*Town music). This is an environment where she's the ideal good kid doing her homework.

This is also a good time to note the relationship between the music and the colour, because all the self-expression here comes out in how her movement is defined in relation to the music. But she's wearing headphones. This aspect of herself is internalised.

The animation in this shot was the best animation I saw in 2022. The little jaw movement from Mei before she says "fine" is so great. You can see the competing versions of self as confronts a side to her that's unfamiliar and intense.

Notice the shift in the lighting here. Warm lighting coming up from the page. It makes no sense literally; it's completely subjective lighting.

And I'm bumping up against the image limit, so to be continued in Part 2.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Some big changes are underway at Pixar, after an unfortunate series of layoffs...

Per the snippets I've seen of a Bloomberg article that's behind a paywall:

In addition to juicing up the sequel count once again (with hints of the worlds of FINDING NEMO and THE INCREDIBLES being revisited), and an INSIDE OUT series coming to Disney+ next year... It's being reported that Pixar is going to abandon the more "autobiographical" approach to their newest films... Ya know, actually director-driven films that connected with people? And supposedly, they will look to make more movies with "general appeal" - whatever the hell that means, at the behest of Disney execs.

It had been talked about for a little while, but it appears that Disney executives are mandating that Pixar not let filmmakers make films... Apparently forgetting that Pixar got to where they are in the first place because of the directors that were allowed to tell the stories that were personal to them (such as FINDING NEMO, THE INCREDIBLES, and INSIDE OUT) and meant a lot to them.

Apparently, that's box office poison now. Apparently that's why they've had losses lately. Recipes for failure. Never mind that LUCA and TURNING RED barely got theatrical releases, yet they did monster numbers on streaming, got solid-to-great critical reception, and Oscar nominations. ELEMENTAL may have cost a fortune, but it's the biggest original animated movie released post-COVID outbreak- OH YEAH, THAT. A whole worldwide pandemic! Which resulted in TURNING RED and LUCA skipping theaters in the first place.

Whereas the spin-off, LIGHTYEAR, was the only true flop of this period.

You can't make this crap up.

Bob Iger's gotta go, as do these other silly executives, if they're *really* telling Pete Docter and Pixar brass to stop making movies like that. Movies that reflect their respective filmmakers' personal experiences and vision... I thought Iger was happy with ELEMENTAL's leggy run last summer? I guess he actually wasn't, nor the shareholders - the same deeply unserious people who found Disney's 2019 earnings of $24 BILLION *disappointing* because it wasn't... GASP... $25 BILLION.

I guess TURNING RED and LUCA's reviews, nominations, and success on streaming don't matter. Like... What kind of movies, outside of the sequels, is this studio gonna put out now? Noted-to-death movies that audiences end up not really connecting with? And what if those lose money?

You can't engineer hits. Hollywood bean counters don't seem to get that. You could make a movie that gets amazing reviews, and it could still flop. Or it could break out. Circumstances beyond the control of the filmmakers. If COVID-19 never happened, and SOUL, LUCA, TURNING RED, and ELEMENTAL all enjoyed unbothered theatrical releases and people could actually afford a movie trip? They all would've been blockbusters.

That's not to say that I think it's over for Pixar. I'm still looking forward to what the filmmakers can cook up under such restrictions, if they can somehow eke out a little personality. They could go the way of Disney Animation right now in my eyes, but we'll see... But I feel these mandates do not bode well for the studio's future. I remember so many talented people leaving when John Lasseter tightened his grip, circa 2010... The same could happen if the filmmakers can't really make anything other than "pre-made crowd pleaser", and flee to a studio that's a little looser than that.

But this is Disney at the end of the day. Everything's a brand, everything's Glup Shitto now. "Pixar movie" is basically a genre, when it shouldn't be. WDAS apparently means "FROZEN-Lite Movie #6", "Disney movie" is basically just remake of a classic or theme park adaptation, Marvel is now cameo-fest homework movies, Star Wars don't get me started...

We'll see how that model works out for Disney over the next few years or so...

(Maybe after I cool down, I'll be more reasonable here... But it ain't lookin' too hot.)

[astralstudiosza-blog]

How to Pick the Right Animation Studio to Crush Your Next Project

Alright, listen up. You’re in Johannesburg, and you’ve got a project that needs some serious animation firepower. You want your brand to stand out, to tell a story that’s not just good but unforgettable. You can’t afford to mess around with this decision. Picking the right animation studio isn’t just about flashy graphics—it’s about finding a partner who gets your vision and can elevate it.

First off, know your needs. Are you looking for a slick 3D animation that’s going to wow clients, or do you need something more straightforward, like a 2D explainer that cuts through the noise? Different projects call for different approaches, and you’ve got to be crystal clear on what you want before you start talking to studios.

Next up, let’s talk money and time. Don’t walk into this thinking you can get Pixar-level animation on a shoestring budget. Be real about what you can spend and how fast you need it. Animation takes time—especially if you want it done right. If a studio promises to deliver yesterday at half the price of everyone else, run the other way.

Now, when you’re checking out studios in Johannesburg, dive into their portfolios. I’m talking about more than just skimming through a few videos. Look for diversity. Look for consistency. Can they handle different styles? Do they nail the details every time? If all their work looks the same, they’re not the right fit.

But don’t stop at the portfolio. Reach out to their past clients. What’s the word on the street? How did the studio handle deadlines? Were they collaborative or just clocking in and out? Real-world feedback is where you separate the amateurs from the pros.

Let’s get into the workflow. The best studios have a process that’s tight but flexible. They’ll kick things off with a solid consultation—this is where you find out if they’re really listening to you or just going through the motions. Then comes the storyboarding. This part is crucial. It’s the blueprint for your entire project. If they rush this, it’s a red flag. Good storyboarding is like laying a strong foundation—it keeps everything solid as you move forward.

Once the animation starts, that’s when you see the magic happen—or not. The right studio brings ideas to life with precision. They’ve got the technical chops to make characters move like they’re real, to create scenes that pop off the screen. And after all that, post-production ties it all together. This is where sound design, voice-overs, and final edits happen. If they don’t sweat the small stuff here, your project won’t hit as hard as it could.

Johannesburg is packed with talent. The local scene is thriving, and you can find studios that blend creativity with tech skills that rival the best out there. But you’ve got to choose wisely. Local studios understand the market, the culture, and they’re going to be more in tune with your needs than some random outfit halfway around the world.

At the end of the day, choosing animation studios is about finding a partner who’s as invested in your success as you are. You’re not just hiring someone to make a video—you’re teaming up with a crew that’s going to help you tell your story in a way that resonates.

So, make your choice count. Do your homework, ask the right questions, and don’t settle. The right studio will help you crush it, taking your project from idea to execution without missing a beat.

[roastyoualive]

Send “Examine!” and an item or person and I’ll write an RPG description of it/them. || ACCEPTING

Anonymous asked:

EXAMINE>the sidekicks

STRONGHOLD’S FRIENDS

>> EXAMINE

> Speak

> Fight

> Trade

> Join Party

> Ignore

A group of students in Sky High that are almost always together. As far as you know, they’re freshmen, like you. Unlike you, they’re all Sidekicks. And unlike you, they all seem to like Will Stronghold. You don't really care; they're not who you're most worried about. No, you’re looking at the Commander’s son.

You wonder if he’s anything like his father. 

For both your sakes, you hope not. 

TABLE CRASHERS

>> EXAMINE

> Speak

> Fight

> Trade

> Join Party

> Ignore

What are they doing? Why are they here? You don’t get it. You tried to chase them off, and it didn’t work. They don’t care. They barely even react to you. You always knew they were weird, but this is really pushing it. You almost feel surrounded, closed in. The empty table feels so much smaller now. You feel more out of place than you ever have. The only one you’ve ever spoken to is the redhead - Layla, Hippie - and yeah, she seemed alright at the restaurant, but you’re not friends. Even if she seems to think you are. The longer she talks, the more you’re one hundred percent sure she’s nuts. They all are. … But, hey, she wants to mess with Stronghold. Guess they can't be all that bad.

YOUR FRIENDS 

>> EXAMINE

> Speak

> Fight

> Trade

> Join Party

> Ignore

Yup, there they are, just like always. Over time, your table - 'the tough guy' table - just turned into 'the' table. Stronghold's friends became your friends. … Stronghold himself became your friend, which, yeah, you didn't see that coming. You wouldn't change it, though. 

Layla, sitting in her usual spot across from you, is talking about the English homework. A paper she's writing on Stellaria. You're almost impressed that she picked a topic that fast; yeah, you have yours, but her enthusiasm for it all leaves your head spinning. You wonder if she ever needs to drink a coffee - or if she chugs the stuff. It’s one of the two. 

To either side of her are Will and Magenta. You couldn’t imagine more polar opposites if you tried (excluding yourself, of course). The lost, pleading look on Will’s face tells you he was totally not paying attention when the assignment was given out. You’re already reaching for your bag and rolling your eyes before he can ask for your notes. You can’t get too annoyed; he’d actually put some effort into note-taking for you when you’d been out sick a few weeks ago. Miracles did happen. 

Magenta had been mildly interested in the conversation, but had gotten distracted by Zach (on your left, as usual). He was saying he was glad he wasn’t getting ‘Hero’ homework, ‘cause how am I supposed to find anyone more inspiring than me?’. Maj speared her salad with her fork and reassured him that he was the best lamp since Pixar. Zach took that as a genuine compliment. 

A jostling on your right lets you know Ethan is fidgeting again. You glance over. He’s fighting with a bag of mini Oreos. He gets it after a few more tugs, blinks, then grins victoriously. He notices you looking and holds the bag out. … Okay. You’re not about to turn down free cookies. You take a few, nod your thanks, and fold your arms on the table as the conversation continues around you.

Yeah, you don’t understand how this happened.

But you’re glad it did.

[two-am-outlines-only]

Just How Lovely He Is

Summary: Logan gets lost in thought as he thinks about his life with Virgil, deciding after that a kiss is definitely needed.

Warnings: very brief, non explicit sex mention.

Ships: Romantic Analogical, Logan x Virgil

Word Count: 1, 573

AO3 Link

Logan smiled softly as he watched Virgil from over the edge of his book. He hadn't turned the page in a while but thankfully the younger man hadn't seemed to notice over the music playing on the counter beside him. Evanescence played a rolling beat to accompany the clanking of dishes Virgil had insisted on doing, bowls and pans from their late lunch of valiantly attempted vegetable stir fry stacked gleaming in the drip rack. He still wore his hoodie, albeit with the sleeves scrunched up tight above his elbows, tendons tensing and releasing in his thin wrists as he scrubbed at a patch of rice stuck burnt to a pan's bottom. Logan's smile grew wider as the other huffed at his long bangs that had fallen into his eyes to make them fluff away for a moment only to let them fall back again.

His hair was just as long as when Logan first met him, all bite and almost no show as his sarcastic quips kept people at a comfortable arm distance, preferably more if he could manage it. But he had needed help and Logan was right there. He remembered how the darkly dressed boy had turned to him angrily, false bravado flashing in his eyes but fingers twisting in stretched out sleeves telling an entirely different story. The math had been hard, calculus being new to both of them and Logan with only the tiniest step up in understanding to really add to Virgil's confusion. They had both stuck it out though, too stubborn to give up on what they had silently agreed would be a one time thing anyway and as long as they had worked together in class they may as well puzzle out their homework together at the library.

The library had turned to the common area, and the common area Logan's dorm room where Virgil had discovered his self edited poster of Ellie from Up pointing to a NASA logo exclaiming "Adventure is out there!". Virgil had laughed, calling him a nerd to which Logan had immediately bristled but quickly calmed when the emo began rambling about his old dorm mate that had been obsessed with all things Disney and Pixar, Up being a movie Roman would cry in the beginning for every single time it was put on. He went on to talk about debates the two would have and the arguments that would often break out about the true meaning behind the films which had then dissolved into conspiracy theories that Logan was quickly sucked into, homework forgotten as they chatted long into the evening, only shutting up once their stomachs growled and they had laughed at the hours that went by, mutually deciding pizza over calculus was the way to go.

The first time Logan remembers thinking Virgil was beautiful they were eating at a park bench trading class gossip back and forth when he had said something particularly relatable, making Logan's eyes light up as he dug out a flashcard he had just made without thinking, nodding to himself before quoting "same-sise". Virgil had looked so confused as Logan registered what he had done, quickly hiding the note card against his stomach and looking down in shame.

"What did you just say L?" He had said.

"I was...I had read the slang word a few times and looked it up since it seemed relevant. I'm not...the most proficient at new social terms."

"Hey it's alright, honestly. Can I see?"

Reluctantly he had handed over his cards and watched as Virgil read the word over. "It's pronounced same-seas. But you used it in the right context. Some of these are outdated though...I could teach you the new ones people use now if you want? So you can keep up with conversations and stuff."

Flabbergasted Logan could only nod, watching as a huge grin broke out on Virgil's face, one of the few genuine smiles he offered. No judgement, not even a hint of disdain were found in his gray green eyes, making Logan's stomach flip with an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of being listened to, wanted, and only one thought graced him with its presence as Virgil began talking again.

'Beautiful'

Later on Logan learned about Virgil's panic attacks, helping him through several and regularly guiding his breathing before tests and after classes. Virgil learned of his own pent up anxiety attacks and was always there to lay a careful hand on his shoulder or words of encouragement from a safe distance away. They learned it was okay to lean on each other, asking for help at two in the morning or a hug at three. Virgil found tight hugs and soothing backrubs grounding while Logan found he very much enjoyed the others pale fingers carding through his dark hair. They weren't always physically affectionate, sometimes they couldn't be as touch could be too overwhelming, so quiet 'heys' were exchanged with soft looks instead.

The first time 'I love you' was said it was whispered so quietly Logan had almost missed it, tucked under the blankets with his legs tangled with Virgil's and fingers threaded together. His heart had nearly stuttered to a stop, emotions overflowing as those three words hit him harder than anything anyone had ever said to him. It hurt, how much he loved Virgil, with his despicable music taste he had grown accustomed to and had downloaded to his phone. His dyed purple hair that he grumbled about staining the towels. The way he always had the AC cranked up because of the oversized hoodie he wore everywhere all year long since it was his favorite comfort item. His chipped fingernail polish and dark eyeshadow that did nothing to hide the bright smile that had slowly become more and more common. He had choked on his sobs, Virgil's breath hitching as he began to stutter out an apology before lips were being pressed to his own even as tears dripped down to splash against his cheeks. Logan had pulled back, embarrassed, just managing to gasp out his long belated confession.

"I love you too. Virgil, I love you so much-" Their lips had met again, softer and sweeter and nowhere near perfect with snot dripping from Logan's nose and Virgil's palms sweaty with anxiety but it was fine because Virgil loved him.

Virgil loved him.

And Logan loved Virgil. From chaste kisses shared (not so) discreetly in the halls to heavier ones shared between moans behind firmly shut doors. Logan held Virgil's hand or linked pinkies or pulled him down on his lap as he read. Virgil wrapped warm and safe arms around his shoulders or held his face between cold palms or brushed their shoulders gently in passing. They shared friendly banter and heated arguments alike, both too stubborn to admit to a wrongdoing in the moment and having cool off separately for however long it took for one to miss the other, which was never that long at all really.

Unfortunately life had gotten in the way. Different jobs across the town and neither of them owning a car meant Virgil stayed in an apartment building close to his work while Logan did likewise miles away. Still more often than not they enjoyed each others company in either apartment, Virgil's being smaller and cramped while Logan had yet to disclose he had rented a two bedroom much closer to a mid way point between their respective jobs. They had discussed it earlier but at the time neither of them had had the finances so it was put in the back burner. Until now.

Logan came back from his reverie to see Virgil finishing up drying the dishes, mouthing along to a new song as he bounced in place slightly to the tune, making Logan smile yet again. Everything Virgil did was infuriatingly adorable, from his hips swaying slightly as he bent to put a pan back to the way he tried to be subtle about pushing back the hair he knew had grown too long from his face. Mind made up, Logan stood and smoothly took away the towel to place it on the counter, reaching up to gently brush Virgil's bangs from his beautiful eyes staring at him in question. Instead of answering Logan brought both hands up to the others cheeks, brushing them over softly with his thumb as he leaned forward.

Their lips met as Virgil twisted Logan's shirt in his fists to pull him closer, closed mouth kiss long and lingering as they smiled into it. Logan brought his hand around the back of Virgil's neck and tipped his head slightly, deepening the kiss with a simple swipe of the tongue, teeth carefully avoided with practice and mouths moving in sync. Logan pulled away first only just enough to lean forward and press their foreheads together, still holding the other as gently as he would a treasure, eyes locking as Virgil's eyes crinkled with adoring amusement.

"What was that for you sap?" He asked softly, rubbing tiny circles against his stomach through his now wrinkled shirt.

The extra apartment key felt heavy in his pocket with the added storm cloud keychain he had had specially commissioned, weighing his pocket with a promise he couldn't wait to make. "No reason."

Smiling he kissed the other again and again, making him laugh and bat playfully at his face.

No reason at all.

[nice-kill-tanaka]

🌄Karasuno 3rd Years + Confessions🌌

A/N: lowkey, these turned into crush scenarios too 😭can’t blame me for getting carried away. these beautiful boys are too perfect ❤️

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🎋Daichi Sawamura🎋

If I'm being honest? Daichi would probably take an agonizingly long time to realize and act on his feelings for you

My dude literally never noticed Michimiya's feelings for him, so do you really expect him to be that in touch with his own feelings?? Nah, he's too busy parenting approximately ten teammates (eleven if you count Suga in his more chaotic moments)

He would have to have known you for more than three months for a crush to form

And even more time after that to get it through his thick skull that what he’s feeling isn’t just immense respect for you

But, once Daichi realizes that he wants to date you, he’s gonna be very careful about his approach. I.e. presenting himself as boyfriend material rather than friend material

Offering to walk you home, giving you moral support with your hobbies, hell, even making you lunch once every few days!

In his head, he’s got his official confession all planned out:

He’d take you on a walk around town (Or a jog, depending on your athletic prowess)

And at the end of said activity, you’d both stop at a place where you can see a beautiful sunset. And you would sit there while you cooled down

Dude brought snacks and everything 😪

And while you guys ate and talked about whatever, he would find a good stall in the conversation to explain his feelings

“You know...I’ve liked you for good while. You’re everything I never knew I needed in my life. If you don’t feel the same way, we can keep being friends and that’ll be fine. But, I want to be closer to you. So...how does a date sound...?”

However, if you decide to confess first, sure he’ll look fine on the outside. But, his train of thought just had a literal catastrophic crash

He wanted to be the one to make the first move

Wait...his crush on you was reciprocated??

Wtf??

He’ll snap out of his surprised stupor when you ask if he wants to go out and watch a movie at some point

“...Hm? Oh- yeah! I’d...I’d love to go out with you.”

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🍄Koushi Sugawara🍄

I honestly think it would be SO HARD to tell if Suga had a crush on you

You can’t go off of his regular acts of sweetness, since he’s that way towards everyone

But, there will be a change in his behavior. You just have to be observant

First, he’s still gonna make sure you’re taking care of yourself on a regular basis. However, instead of the situation looking like a parent scolding a child for not taking their vitamins or whatever, he gets on your level and lets you know he genuinely cares about you and wants to see you healthy. Lots of soft looks and touches 🤧

And y’know how Suga gets a bit flustered when people praise him? Amp that up about fivefold when it’s you that’s praising him. He’ll say “Oh- really?!” with that cute little voice crack and get incredibly red over your compliment. But, his friendly crooked smile is what usually makes those moments fly under your radar

Lastly, he’ll want to involve you in a lot of his mischief-making with the underclassmen (You’d have to be close to the team to really get in good with Suga). If he feels comfortable enough around you to not act so responsible, he’ll show you the “tequila” part of his “tequila aunt” reputation real quick

I feel like if he wanted to confess to you, he’d want you to feel as comfortable as possible before dropping the bombshell of feelings

He’ll ask if you want to hang out at his place on a Friday or something when you both have no homework

And it’s agreed that you’ll bring the snacks, and he’ll set up the place with every blanket and pillow in existence

Surprise! It’s a movie night! (A Pixar movie night to be exact)

It’s in the middle of watching Wall-E, when the lights are dimmed low and you both are sharing a blanket and a bag of chips, when he tells you

After his small speech, he goes: “...So, what do ya say, Eva? Let me be your Wall-E...?”

Ofc you said yes (With an asterisks because of how adorably corny he was about it)

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🐻Asahi Azumane🐻

Two seconds in, and I can already tell this wreck is gonna need some help expressing his feelings for you 💀

The moment he gets that warm and fuzzy sensation in the pit of his stomach when you give him your perfectly imperfect smile, he probably assumes that you’d never date someone like him. Someone who hardly lives up to the big tough guy image people seem to pin on him 

Either that, or you’re just plain scared of him and too afraid to say something about it

Suga and Daichi try their darnedest to explain that Asahi’s worries are not the case at all. And if Asahi just pulled his head out of the sand for once and told you the truth, that you’d at least understand and react respectfully

But, doing so can be tricky when anxiety is kicking your butt over the worst case scenario

Really and truly, you would’ve confessed to Asahi, had he not given you the impression that he never wanted to be around you. He’d always get so visibly nervous around you and make a sad excuse to leave the room

“So, what to do about this stalemate of love?” Thought Suga and Daichi in this most perplexing dilemma. You and Asahi both clearly liked each other, but what would give you two that nudge you needed?

Well, it took a lot of consideration, but Suga and Daichi decided that they needed to bring in someone else: Yuu Nishinoya, to be exact. Appealing to Asahi’s fear of his crush being exposed without being able to properly explain his feelings would definitely work

And it did! Asahi was so terrified of Noya bluntly outing him, that he promised to confess to you by 2:00 tomorrow. No later

Well, come tomorrow, it seemed Asahi was stalling for time, letting his fears get the better of him. But, he managed to catch you in the hallway at exactly 1:59

Asahi showed himself friendly, trying to drum up small talk before dropping the big thing. And you blushed and went along with it, unaware of what was about to happen. Before the big moment, Asahi stumbled over his words:

“I uh...well, you see- I just, y’know, wanted to...to tell you that I- well...I may or may not-”

“Asahi’s got a big fat crush on you and he’s been too big of a chicken to say it for the whole year!”

Asahi tried to hide his face in his hands while your body was internally burning up. Gee, thanks Noya

In your embarrassment, you stepped forward and took Asahi’s hand, asking if Noya was right. Asahi gave a quiet “Yeah...you’re amazing. How could I not like you?”

Romance bloomed that day between you two, and Suga and Daichi were just around the corner snickering about it

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌Take this for your travels, bud. Don’t worry about paying me or anything, everything’s on the house! Though 🍁likes🍁 and ��️reblogs☘️ are appreciated!🌄] — Reagan

[headcanonreggie]

reggie is basically serotonin in human form

im kinda sad rn so here’s a really self indulgent piece. i just really want reggie peters to take care of me. everyone is alive and carrie and nick are friends with everyone. also flynn uses he/him pronouns because flynn is cool like that.

y/n made their way into julie’s garage, clearly late for practice. they greeted their friends and slumped down on the couch next to flynn. usually they’d pull out their laptop and work on some homework while julie and the phantoms were practicing, but that just wasn’t something they wanted to be doing right now.

“y/n, are you okay?” julie asked her friend, concerned.

“yeah i’m fine, i just didn’t sleep a lot last night. don’t worry about me though, just keep on playing.” this wasn’t entirely the truth. y/n was swamped with homework, they didn’t know what they wanted to do with their future, and their parents were constantly getting on at them to stop spending so much time in their room. they just didn’t know where they were in life. but the others didn’t have to know all this.

flynn scooted over and wrapped his arm around y/n. hugs from flynn were always comforting. y/n met julie and flynn in the 7th grade, when they were a new student at loz feliz middle school. the three of them always knew when one needed comfort, and never coaxed them to talk. they appreciated this about each other.

julie and the phantoms played through their two hour practice. y/n kept catching worried glances from reggie, their boyfriend. he did his best to cheer them up, winking, singing louder, even getting everyone to play an old sunset curve song that y/n the especially likes. all this earned him was small, tired smiles.

the band wrapped up their practice, and reggie came to sit down next to y/n, with his arm round them. alex announced that he had a date with willie. a new museum just opened and willie wanted to cause trouble in it, and alex wanted to talk him out of that trouble.

“flynn, luke and i are gonna go catch the new pixar movie with carrie and nick, you two are welcome to come if you want?” julie asked y/n and reggie. reggie turned to look at y/n, letting them decide.

“sorry julie, i’m not really feeling up to going anywhere right now. i enjoyed practice though.” julie came over to give y/n a hug, because she knew they needed it.

“that’s okay, if you guys want to you can just stay in here, i’ll go tell my dad you’re still in here.” julie said as she grabbed flynn’s hand and carted luke out of the studio. flynn and luke shouted their goodbyes to their friends.

“do you wanna go cuddle in the attic? i know you like it up there.” reggie asked softly.

the attic in the garage used to be full of old junk, but julie, flynn and y/n cleaned it out that summer and turned it out into a cosy little space to hang out. they had ray install a soft carpet and there was an unthinkable amount of blankets and pillows. the garage was the usual hangout spot for their large friend group, so the attic also housed their huge stash of snacks. there was a couple strings of fairy lights, and pictures of the friends littering the walls.

“yeah reg, i’d really love to do that right now.” reggie stood from his spot on the couch and offered his hand to help y/n up. he let them climb the ladder first and followed suit.

reggie and y/n got to work making a nest out of the blankets and pillows. he leaned over and caught y/n’s face in his hands. that was another thing they liked, having their face held between his hands.

“you know i love you, right?” reggie asked.

“of course i do. i love you too.” y/n turned her head to kiss reggies hand.

“whatever you’re going through right now, we don’t have to talk about it unless you want to. but also don’t bottle it up, please.” he told them with a soft smile. “come on, let’s cuddle now.”

they lay down in they’re little bed and reggie holds y/n close.

“can you sing to me? that song you wrote for me that you haven’t showed the band yet?” y/n asked. reggie had written them a song a couple weeks ago, and they had the lyrics in the notes in their phone so they could see them whenever they wanted.

reggie sang the song the whole way through and meant every word. he knew how much the song meant to y/n and would record it for them one day, with the band or by himself.

he finishes the song and y/n snuggles into the crook of his neck. he places a kiss on their forehead and runs his fingers through their hair.

they fall asleep like that, and the next thing they know they’re being woken up by willie and luke yelling about the pizza they just bought for dinner.

y/n and reggie make their way down to join julie, alex, luke, flynn, willie, carrie and nick. they’d all met up after their activities and decided they wanted pizza, and bought some for y/n and reggie too.

julie and flynn cuddled into one side of the couch with willie and alex on the opposite end. luke, carrie and nick sat together with their backs to the couch, which resulted in luke’s shoulder being used as flynn’s footstool. reggie sat in the armchair and pulled y/n back by their waist to sit on his lap.

the last few hours were exactly what y/n needed. they were here with their best friends and their boyfriend, and they knew that this is where they should be in life.

[ssadumba55]

Follow the Plan (Ian Lightfoot X Reader)

Request: Hi! Can you do a Ian Lightfoot (Pixar Onward) x Reader where Ian takes the reader out on a date?

“Come on, Ian. You can do this.”

Even though he said he could, Ian was beginning to seriously doubt he really could. He’d been stood outside your door for an hour now, trying to work up the courage to knock and finally do what he’d been meaning to do for ages.

You’d moved to the city a year ago and somehow, you’d ended up friends with the nervous, try hard that was Ian Lightfoot. There wasn’t much of a story there, you’d been nervous and sat next to the least intimidating looking kid in your homeroom. You weren’t expecting to actually enjoy his company, but that was a plus.

Ever since you’d first sat next to him in homeroom, Ian had been totally enchanted. Not like enchanted from magic, though at first, he’d worried maybe it was the result of some ancient spell he wasn’t aware of. He’d gone to his brother, Barley, for advice and that’s when it really dawned on him.

“You’ve got a crush!” Barley had yelled at the top of his lungs. Ian desperately tried to calm his loud brother down before someone heard him.

“No- No I don’t.” He tugged on the collar of his shirt. Was it suddenly ten times hotter in here, or was this his teenage hormones kicking in?

“Yes, you do! What’s their name? When do I get to meet them?” His brother placed his hands on his shoulders, shaking him slightly. Ian shoved him away and laughed nervously, not liking where this conversation had suddenly turned.

“Look, I came to you for advice, are you going to help me or not?”

Barley immediately settled down and set to work helping guide his little brother on all the do’s and don’ts of dating etiquette. And there was a lot of it. A lot more than Ian had thought there was going to be.

All that preparation had led him to this moment though. Standing outside your door, getting ready to ask you on a date. He had it all planned out. Nothing could go wrong if he just stuck to the plan that he and Barley had so carefully crafted.

He took a deep breath, knocking on the door uncertainly. If he wasn’t holding flowers, his hands would be a lot sweatier, he was one hundred percent sure of that.

“Hey, Ian.” You weren’t surprised to see him. Ian seemed to always show up at the oddest times, but always at the seemingly right times at the same time. Tonight, he’d shown up just as you were finishing your homework for the night.

“Uh, h-hi, (Y/n) … Flowers?” He held the flowers in his hand out, practically shoving them into your hands. You took them, raising your eyebrows. He laughed nervously.

“Uh, Barley let me borrow Guinevere 2 for the night and I was wondering if you wanted… to come with me?” He could hear the squeakiness in his own voice, and he was internally cringing, hoping that you hadn’t noticed it as well.

“Let me just put these away and I’ll be right back!” You held up your finger, shutting the door and hurrying to find a place for the random flowers Ian had gave you. As you put them in a vase, your mind wandered to the odd behaviour Ian had been displaying so far tonight.

You and Ian loved taking car rides around the city usually, there was nothing odd about that except for the fact that this time it was going to be in his brother’s van. Normally you took your parents car or his mom’s car, depending on how late it was and which of your parent’s were busy.

His voice sounded different too, though you couldn’t exactly put your finger on why. You grabbed your sweater, opening the door once more and shutting it behind you.

“Onwards, best friend!” You wrapped your arm around his shoulder, not noticing the way he slightly tensed up as the two of you walked to the van.

As you got closer, you let go of Ian so you could climb into the passenger seat. He pulled out of the driveway and the two of you rode in silence for a while, driving down random backstreets. A few times you tried to drag a conversation out of him to no avail and a few other times you caught him staring at you out of the corner of his eye, not wanting to take his eyes fully off the road.

“This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.” Ian finally sighed, sounding really resigned. You turned back to him, surprised to hear his normal voice and not the weird squeaky one he’d used earlier.

“How what wasn’t supposed to go?” You asked, watching him as he focused intensely on the road.

“I was supposed to ask you to go somewhere. This was supposed to be a date, but I chickened out. I really like you, (Y/n), but whenever it comes to telling you that; I can’t.” He admitted, sounding utterly dejected.

You blinked, watching him for a moment before bursting out into laughter. Ian looked away from the road for a second in disbelief.

“What’s so funny?”

You shook your head, clutching your stomach as giggles uncontrollably poured out. For a while, the only sound in the van was you laughing. After about 10 minutes of this, you managed to calm yourself down.

“Because that was such an Ian thing to do. You just told me without even realizing you were really doing it, once you stopped thinking about how nervous you were to do it.” You explained and Ian flushed, realizing you were right.

He pulled back onto the main street, heading back in the direction of your house. You smiled as you looked out the window.

“Plus, this was a great first date.” You told him. Ian made a snorting noise, as if he totally couldn’t believe you’d just said that.

“I’m serious. It was just so us. I actually really enjoyed it but maybe next time you should let me know ahead of time we’re going on a date, so I don’t sit here in silence the whole time thinking something’s wrong.” You teased.

He stumbled over his words awkwardly as he pulled up in your driveway. “There’s going to be a next time?” He asked, hopefully.

You leaned over the center console to kiss his cheek, pulling back and unbuckling your seatbelt. “Does that answer your question?” You climbed out of the van, hurrying to get back into your house.

Ian watched you enter the house, shutting the door behind you. He hadn’t followed the plan at all and somehow it had still all worked out. He pulled out of the driveway for the second time that night, this time with butterflies in his stomach and the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one between the two of you who felt the way he did.

“How’d it go?” Barley asked, excited as Ian tossed Guinevere 2’s keys across the room to him. Ian shrugged, grinning like an idiot and turned to climb the steps to his room.

“I think it went well.” Barley sang after him. Ian laughed, shutting the door behind him and flopping down on the bed and sighing.

It had gone better than well.

[eggman-is-fat-mkay]

Luca is a movie about a couple of boys who happen to be sea monsters going undercover as humans in a town that hates sea monsters for seemingly no reason.  That’s pretty obviously an allegory for queer people (and hey, indirect representation is better than no representation!), so I shouldn’t be reading too far into it as far as plot goes, but in this case I just can’t help myself.

They are sea monsters, and live in a fishing town, and could thus be beneficial to the locals in any number of ways (Dropped something deep in the lake and need it back?  Hire someone who can breathe underwater to retrieve it for you!  Need to save someone whose boat is going down and don’t have time to pile a rescue party into a motorboat? They have TAILS!  They can swim out and back in no time flat!), but apart from the boys knowing where all the good fishing spots are (and having to hide why they know it), that’s never explored or even addressed.  At all.  In fact, they studiously avoid letting the fish people swim while the humans are looking.  [in the swimming race, why couldn’t Luca have climbed out of the diver suit as soon as he was out of sight, swam to the pole, and swam back into the diver suit?]  And I mean I know why Disney did it that way -- they wanted to send the message that your differences don’t have to be beneficial to society in some way for you to be accepted.  They were trying to challenge the old Tumblr adage that “deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable”.  And I’m all for that -- go team [waves ace pride flag] -- but at the same time…  I wanna see some fish people, yo!

I like seeing differences celebrated rather than tolerated, and… as an ADHD kid and an aspie, watching my mom nearly break down every single day trying to stay patient helping me with homework as I take three times as long to finish it as my peers (and indeed my siblings) from fifth grade until twelfth, I could really use some reassurance that having my differences celebrated is still an option right about now. What I’m saying is I could kinda use one of those 7-minute vignettes that Pixar sometimes does about the fish people doing fish peopley things in human society.

[itsallyscorner]

(picture from Pinterest)

Hey everyone! So yesterday was my birthday and I thought, why not have a lil q&a? I was supposed to post this in the 11th, but I was celebrating with the fam🥰 I’ve started posting on Tumblr earlier this year and honestly the amount of love and support I get from this blog is something I never expected! Although, I don’t think my followers know much about me, besides the fact that I like men wayyy older than me and that I write on here! So I thought let’s ✨spice✨ it up on my account a bit and let my readers get to know me better!🥰

side note: no personal personal questions, these are some basic and fun stuff:) ALSO! I tried to put the “keep reading” little thing but I’m on my phone and I don’t have my laptop on me atm😪

So here’s a list of things you guys can ask me, just send them in my asks, and I’ll try to answer them as soon as I can🥰 ASK AWAY:

How old are you?

Favorite animal?

First celebrity crush?

What is your Hogwarts house?

Hunger Games or Divergent?

Favorite Marvel character?

Chris Evans or Sebastian Stan?

Top or Bottom?

Are you a dog or cat person?

Something you love that you used to hate?

What did you want to be as a kid?

What is your dream job?

What is the last thing you bought?

What is your hair color?

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Would you rather explore space or explore the ocean?

Would you rather talk to animals or understand every language?

Would you visit the past or visit the future?

Who is your current celebrity crush?

Which celebrity would you want to meet?

6 songs you listen to the most?

Have you ever had a pie or song written about you?

What does your latest text message say?

Do you have any strange phobias?

Do you prefer to be behind or in front of the camera?

What was the last lie you told?

Texting or calling?

Texting or FaceTime?

What is your screen time?

What is your favorite smell?

What kind of movies do you like?

Favorite musical?

Favorite Marvel movie?

East coast or west coast?

Favorite singer?

Favorite band?

Who is your favorite actor?

Who is your favorite actress?

List 5 of your favorite superheroes.

What was the last movie you saw?

What was the last song you listened to?

Are you wearing socks right now?

Are you wearing glasses or contacts right now?

Have you done all your homework?

A song you always randomly sing.

Favorite album?

What is your phone wallpaper?

Which app are you on the most?

Can you sing or do you believe you can sing?

Kiss, marry, kill (give me some options)

Favorite subject at school?

Have you ever smoked pot?

Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever confused love with lust?

Organized or disorganized?

Favorite animal?

If you could be any animal in the world what what you be?

If you could be any character in a movie or show, who would you be?

What is something you hate about yourself?

What is something you love about yourself?

If you were given the chance, who is the celebrity you’d marry?

Do you still believe in Santa?

Middle part or side part?

Do you know how to swim or no?

What was the last thing you ate?

Your favorite number?

If you were famous, what would you be famous for?

What would your lifestyle be if you were famous?

Describe your style?

Old school music or new music?

Are you in a relationship?

Are you afraid of falling in love?

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Were you single on Valentine’s Day?

What is your comfort movie?

Are you a morning person or a night person?

Would you rather have a big ass or big tits?

Are you friends with the people you were friends it’s two years ago?

What is something you wish you had more of?

Favorite candy at the moment?

Do you get along with girls or boys more?

How tall are you?

Do you pour milk first and then cereal? Or do you pour cereal first and then milk?

Have you ever pulled an all nighter?

When was the latest you stayed awake?

What are 3 things you like about yourself?

How do you cheer yourself up after a shitty day?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Would you rather have a large group of friends or a small group of friends?

Would you travel by car or by plane?

Do you have a favorite tiktok song?

What was the last tiktok you saw?

What fantasy world would you like to visit the most?

What are some hobbies you have?

What is the last thing you bought?

What perfume are you wearing right now?

Are you a creative or a logical thinker?

What is your opinion on beauty in today’s society?

New York or London?

What genre of music do you listen too?

Do you have any other siblings?

Would you rather have an older brother or older sister?

Makeup or go natural?

Who is your role model?

List things that you think are overpriced?

Which actress/singer do you have a girl crush on?

How do you approach people?

Coffee or tea?

Do you enjoy talking or listening?

How often do you daydream?

Biggest turn on? Biggest turn offs?

Ham or Turkey?

What is you McDonald’s order?

What is your Dunkin order?

What time do you usually wake up?

Do you usually initiate hugs?

What is your favorite texture? Favorite thing to feel?

What is your favorite emotion to feel?

What is your favorite Christmas movie?

Do you have a favorite Christmas song?

Twitter or Instagram?

Are you clumsy?

Put your liked songs on Spotify on shuffle and see which song plays first.

Stucky or Stony?

What is your style inspiration?

What are some places you would like to visit?

How often do you curse?

How do you like your eggs?

Who is your favorite Disney princess?

What is your favorite Disney movie?

What is your favorite Pixar movie?

Heels or sneakers? Or flats?

When was the last time you used the bathroom?

YouTube or Netflix?

Netflix or Disney+?

McDonald’s or Buger King?

Starbucks or Dunkin?

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

(yes i'm sending two). the other one should be in the kitchen for no reason at all, with whatever ship you want! :D

I am a simple human. I see "whatever ship I want" and my mind immediately screams analogical XD I had too much fun writing this so I hope you enjoy tooth rotting fluff!

Just How Lovely He Is

Summary: Logan gets lost in thought as he thinks about his life with Virgil, deciding after that a kiss is definitely needed.

Warnings: very brief, non explicit sex mention.

Ships: Romantic Analogical, Logan x Virgil

WC: 1, 573

Logan smiled softly as he watched Virgil from over the edge of his book. He hadn't turned the page in a while but thankfully the younger man hadn't seemed to notice over the music playing on the counter beside him. Evanescence played a rolling beat to accompany the clanking of dishes Virgil had insisted on doing, bowls and pans from their late lunch of valiantly attempted vegetable stir fry stacked gleaming in the drip rack. He still wore his hoodie, albeit with the sleeves scrunched up tight above his elbows, tendons tensing and releasing in his thin wrists as he scrubbed at a patch of rice stuck burnt to a pan's bottom. Logan's smile grew wider as the other huffed at his long bangs that had fallen into his eyes to make them fluff away for a moment only to let them fall back again.

His hair was just as long as when Logan first met him, all bite and almost no show as his sarcastic quips kept people at a comfortable arm distance, preferably more if he could manage it. But he had needed help and Logan was right there. He remembered how the darkly dressed boy had turned to him angrily, false bravado flashing in his eyes but fingers twisting in stretched out sleeves telling an entirely different story. The math had been hard, calculus being new to both of them and Logan with only the tiniest step up in understanding to really add to Virgil's confusion. They had both stuck it out though, too stubborn to give up on what they had silently agreed would be a one time thing anyway and as long as they had worked together in class they may as well puzzle out their homework together at the library.

The library had turned to the common area, and the common area Logan's dorm room where Virgil had discovered his self edited poster of Ellie from Up pointing to a NASA logo exclaiming "Adventure is out there!". Virgil had laughed, calling him a nerd to which Logan had immediately bristled but quickly calmed when the emo began rambling about his old dorm mate that had been obsessed with all things Disney and Pixar, Up being a movie Roman would cry in the beginning for every single time it was put on. He went on to talk about debates the two would have and the arguments that would often break out about the true meaning behind the films which had then dissolved into conspiracy theories that Logan was quickly sucked into, homework forgotten as they chatted long into the evening, only shutting up once their stomachs growled and they had laughed at the hours that went by, mutually deciding pizza over calculus was the way to go.

The first time Logan remembers thinking Virgil was beautiful they were eating at a park bench trading class gossip back and forth when he had said something particularly relatable, making Logan's eyes light up as he dug out a flashcard he had just made without thinking, nodding to himself before quoting "same-sise". Virgil had looked so confused as Logan registered what he had done, quickly hiding the note card against his stomach and looking down in shame.

"What did you just say L?" He had said.

"I was...I had read the slang word a few times and looked it up since it seemed relevant. I'm not...the most proficient at new social terms."

"Hey it's alright, honestly. Can I see?"

Reluctantly he had handed over his cards and watched as Virgil read the word over. "It's pronounced same-seas. But you used it in the right context. Some of these are outdated though...I could teach you the new ones people use now if you want? So you can keep up with conversations and stuff."

Flabbergasted Logan could only nod, watching as a huge grin broke out on Virgil's face, one of the few genuine smiles he offered. No judgement, not even a hint of disdain were found in his gray green eyes, making Logan's stomach flip with an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of being listened to, wanted, and only one thought graced him with its presence as Virgil began talking again.

'Beautiful'

Later on Logan learned about Virgil's panic attacks, helping him through several and regularly guiding his breathing before tests and after classes. Virgil learned of his own pent up anxiety attacks and was always there to lay a careful hand on his shoulder or words of encouragement from a safe distance away. They learned it was okay to lean on each other, asking for help at two in the morning or a hug at three. Virgil found tight hugs and soothing backrubs grounding while Logan found he very much enjoyed the others pale fingers carding through his dark hair. They weren't always physically affectionate, sometimes they couldn't be as touch could be too overwhelming, so quiet 'heys' were exchanged with soft looks instead.

The first time 'I love you' was said it was whispered so quietly Logan had almost missed it, tucked under the blankets with his legs tangled with Virgil's and fingers threaded together. His heart had nearly stuttered to a stop, emotions overflowing as those three words hit him harder than anything anyone had ever said to him. It hurt, how much he loved Virgil, with his despicable music taste he had grown accustomed to and had downloaded to his phone. His dyed purple hair that he grumbled about staining the towels. The way he always had the AC cranked up because of the oversized hoodie he wore everywhere all year long since it was his favorite comfort item. His chipped fingernail polish and dark eyeshadow that did nothing to hide the bright smile that had slowly become more and more common. He had choked on his sobs, Virgil's breath hitching as he began to stutter out an apology before lips were being pressed to his own even as tears dripped down to splash against his cheeks. Logan had pulled back, embarrassed, just managing to gasp out his long belated confession.

"I love you too. Virgil, I love you so much-" Their lips had met again, softer and sweeter and nowhere near perfect with snot dripping from Logan's nose and Virgil's palms sweaty with anxiety but it was fine because Virgil loved him.

Virgil loved him.

And Logan loved Virgil. From chaste kisses shared (not so) discreetly in the halls to heavier ones shared between moans behind firmly shut doors. Logan held Virgil's hand or linked pinkies or pulled him down on his lap as he read. Virgil wrapped warm and safe arms around his shoulders or held his face between cold palms or brushed their shoulders gently in passing. They shared friendly banter and heated arguments alike, both too stubborn to admit to a wrongdoing in the moment and having cool off separately for however long it took for one to miss the other, which was never that long at all really.

Unfortunately life had gotten in the way. Different jobs across the town and neither of them owning a car meant Virgil stayed in an apartment building close to his work while Logan did likewise miles away. Still more often than not they enjoyed eachothers company in either apartment, Virgil's being smaller and cramped while Logan had yet to disclose he had rented a two bedroom much closer to a mid way point between their respective jobs. They had discussed it earlier but at the time neither of them had had the finances so it was put in the back burner. Until now.

Logan came back from his reverie to see Virgil finishing up drying the dishes, mouthing along to a new song as he bounced in place slightly to the tune, making Logan smile yet again. Everything Virgil did was infuriatingly adorable, from his hips swaying slightly as he bent to put a pan back to the way he tried to be subtle about pushing back the hair he knew had grown too long from his face. Mind made up, Logan stood and smoothly took away the towel to place it on the counter, reaching up to gently brush Virgil's bangs from his beautiful eyes staring at him in question. Instead of answering Logan brought both hands up to the others cheeks, brushing them over softly with his thumb as he leaned forward.

Their lips met as Virgil twisted Logan's shirt in his fists to pull him closer, closed mouth kiss long and lingering as they smiled into it. Logan brought his hand around the back of Virgil's neck and tipped his head slightly, deepening the kiss with a simple swipe of the tongue, teeth carefully avoided with practice and mouths moving in sync. Logan pulled away first only just enough to lean forward and press their foreheads together, still holding the other as gently as he would a treasure, eyes locking as Virgil's eyes crinkled with adoring amusement.

"What was that for you sap?" He asked softly, rubbing tiny circles against his stomach through his now wrinkled shirt.

The extra apartment key felt heavy in his pocket with the added stormcloud keychain he had had specially commissioned, weighing his pocket with a promise he couldn't wait to make. "No reason."

Smiling he kissed the other again and again, making him laugh and bat playfully at his face.

No reason at all.

This work is also available on AO3!

[wordsmith-in-purple]

How LGBTQ+ People Should Really Be Represented In Media - A Scenario Starring Ian And Barley Lightfoot of the Upcoming Pixar Movie “Onward”

Imagine, if you will, that it’s late afternoon/early evening in New Mushroomton. The sun is approaching the horizon, casting the sky in beautiful pastel pinks and blues. Cars are pulling into the driveways of the mushroom-shaped houses, but there’s very little activity outside. Maybe a Cyclops is putting out the trash to save time next morning - he hasn’t heard about the unicorns running around. Either way, things are quiet right now.

Tucked away in his bedroom on the top floor of his house, Ian Lightfoot is hunched over a book, formulas and variables jostling for space in his cluttered mind. Occasionally, he looks over at his notebook and scribbles down a note in a tidy shorthand. Downstairs, he can hear hissing and clanking, alongside the undeniable smell of a delicious cockatrice noodle soup, from the kitchen - Mom’s cooking dinner - and the slightly-off-tune voice of his older brother belting out some rock song from the sixties. As Barley hits a high note and his voice cracks, Ian smiles a bit, rolls his eyes, and pops in his earbuds.

On the far side of Ian’s desk, his phone buzzes, playing a three-tone chime. Ian glances over. He’s received a text from one Alec Cloverhoof. Hey Ian, it reads. When’s the history paper due again?

Ian picks up his phone and taps out a reply. Friday, but if you get it done by Wednesday, I can peer edit it for you.

Three math problems later, Alec responds. Alright! Thanks, Ian! You’re the best!

Ian doesn’t send a reply. Instead, he swipes over to the photo app. He pulls up a photo of Alec, relatively recent in his camera roll. He taps it, so that it fills the entire screen. Ian lets out a deep, long sigh. That’s one adorable satyr. His chocolate-brown eyes, his stylishly messy hair, his perfectly groomed fur, those shiny hooves...

“Texting your boyfriend again?”

“Gah!” Ian fumbles with his phone, slapping it down on his desk and turning around in his chair to face Barley, who’s leaning against the door, cocky grin plastered on his face. “He’s not my boyfriend!” Ian protests.

“Yet,” Barley finishes, stepping into the room.

“Yet,” Ian agrees with a sadder sigh. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we’re friends, and I’m glad he lets me help him with his homework, but it would be really cool to be, y’know, a thing!”

“So, ask him out,” Barley says, sitting down on Ian’s barely-made bed with a thump.

Ian shakes his head. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Dad did it to Mom.”

Ian turns softly to Barley. “Do you remember Dad? What was he like?”

And so the conversation goes, the brothers discussing whatever happens to cross their minds until their mother calls them down for dinner. Just like that, we have established that Ian Lightfoot is, in fact, attracted to other males, but we have not made it so that the story revolves entirely around his sexuality. We also normalized Ian’s sexuality by having Barley comment, not on the fact that he’s crushing on a boy, but that he’s crushing at all.

Now, I’m not saying that stories about people coming to terms with their sexuality via romantic plotlines are bad. Quite the contrary. What I am saying is that we need to stop making romance such a big plot point in literally every story. Here, the fact that Ian has a crush doesn’t drive the story. He just happens to have a crush. The brothers move on from the topic pretty quickly. (Note - the Sanders Sides fandom does this pretty well, probably because literally all the ships are gay.)

In short - not every story about gay people has to be about people being gay.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Love Like You - Chapter 2/2

Ships: Anxceit, Logicality

Summary: Nearly half a year has passed since Virgil first walked into the Stork House and met mysterious and hardworking caregiver, Dexter Serpente, and the odd pair of eleven-year-old twins, Roman and Remus. Over the past few months, with weekly visits, Virgil finds himself slowly falling for both Dexter and the boys. However, shadows of his past and fear of the future hold him back.

This Chapter is twice as long as the last, so sorry in advance.

Chapter 1 AO3 - Here

- The sun began to set as the day grew sleepy. Cars filled the traffic lanes as working adults returned to their homes after a long day at their jobs. They honked and beeped their horns, impatient to get home; while Virgil honked his horn for another reason.

“The light is green! Get off your phone and drive!” Virgil shouted at the car in front of him that refused to move even though it had changed ten seconds ago.

He never did like sitting in traffic, but today it was even worse since they all had planned to take the kids to the movie theater to watch the latest Pixar movie. They ended up leaving the Stork house a little late since it was hard to corral ten kids into three cars. They almost had to cancel entirely because one of the other volunteer helpers couldn’t make it. Virgil quickly grew nervous about getting there on time, but his rushing around didn’t do much of anything to help the issue. Dexter called his other volunteer but they were occupied as well. 

Virgil nearly had a meltdown then, Dexter was also slightly panicking but he remained calm enough to soothe Virgil. Dexter then asked Patton if his boyfriend would be available to drive them to the theater, and, after a swift call, he was.

Logan came and took four of the older kids in his white Corvette, Patton drove his KIA and took four of the toddlers, while Virgil volunteered to drive the agency’s car to take him, Dexter, and Roman and Remus. A small argument between who should drive stalled them a few minutes longer, but Virgil quickly settled it by snatching the keys and bolting for the car. He felt a little guilty for acting so childish, but he felt that he needed to make it up for ruining the night.

“How much time until the movie starts?” Virgil questioned, speeding up a bit, but not too much that he’d risk getting a speeding ticket.

“Seven minutes,” Dexter replies looking at the digital tickets he bought online.

We’re still ten minutes away. We’re not going to make it. We’ll miss the beginning of the movie. I’ve messed it up for everyone.

Cue the shaking and shortness of breath to take over his body as his anxiety skyrocketed. Dexter noticed his panic and was quick to reassure and comfort him.

“The ads last fifteen minutes, we’ll make it on time,” Dexter said.

Virgil nodded his head, but only to not concern Dexter any further. The man already had so much on his plate and did so much for him, he didn’t want to be any more of a burden on him. Instead, he focused on the twins in the back talking excitedly about the movie they’ve been waiting to see.

“I can’t wait to hear the new songs!” Roman cheered, bouncing a little in his seat.

“There aren’t gonna be any songs, stupid. It’s a Pixar movie, not a Disney movie.” Remus chided beside him.

“Toy Story 2 had a song in it! And I’m not stupid, you’re stupid, stupid!” Roman argues back, sticking his tongue out at his brother.

“Idiot!”

“Dummy!”

“Boys! Quiet down back there!” Dexter demanded, giving them each a glare through the rearview mirror.

Roman and Remus stopped their little spat but continued to glare and make faces at each other. Virgil watched them in the mirror and smiled a little to himself.

It had been a grand total of four months since Virgil had turned the big three-one and realized that his chances of ever having someone in his life had escaped him, and when he admitted that he was not physically, mentally, or financially capable of adopting a child. Though, instead of accepting a life of loneliness filled with nothing but endless days at work and the occasional excursions with his two friends, Virgil decided that he would visit the Stork Agency at least twice a week to volunteer and be around the kids.

At that time, he had grown very close with the two eldest kids at the Agency, falling for their quirky personalities. Virgil would usually come on the days when Remus wasn’t allowed at school to help tutor him. He’d bring books on his grade level math, science, and English and help him with his homework. When he wasn’t tutoring him he’d read stories to him to help his reading comprehension. Improvement in his grades began to appear after three weeks of work and Virgil remembered the smile on Remus’s face when he brought home a C+ on a math test. Dexter had felt such pride over the score and even hung it on the fridge to celebrate.

When he wasn’t helping Remus catch up with the rest of his grade, he would play video games with him on the WiiU. Remus was a near master at Mario Kart and it was practically impossible to beat him, but when it came to games like Super Smash Bros, Virgil reigned champ. Dexter wasn’t much of a gamer and often just sat by and watched them play if he wasn’t too busy taking care of the other kids. The best part was watching Roman and Remus play together since they were both just as good and their matches went on for long periods of time in a tight struggle.

Although video gaming and reading stories were enjoyable, the most entertaining activity they liked to do was anything creative. Remus loved to draw, and while his drawings were at times weird and sometimes disturbing, he had a real talent for it. Roman, on the other hand, was a storyteller and liked to write scripts for his own plays that he would act out with whoever he could get to join him.

Four months may not be a long time to know someone, but Virgil already felt like attached to the boys, and watching them act silly was one way he was able to calm down. Although, the best way for him to calm down was by watching Dexter beside him parenting them. Even if he was annoyed or frustrated with them, he had a knack for handling the wildness that gave him a special kind of shine.

The twins were not the only ones who somehow worked their way into his heart over the past four months, despite his best efforts to keep it secured under lock and key.

Miraculously, traffic began to clear up and they were able to navigate through the city a bit faster. This put Virgil slightly more at ease, and he refused to look at the car’s digital clock to keep his anxiety down to a minimum. When they finally did arrive in the theater parking lot, Logan and Patton in tow behind him, Virgil raced around until he found a parking spot with empty spaces around so the others could park as well. 

Practically leaping out of his seat, Virgil opened up the door for Roman behind him, while Dexter did the same for Remus, and walked to meet up with the others so Dexter could do a headcount before heading into the theater. 

Dexter went on ahead to give the clerk their tickets, while Virgil led the children to the theater, while Logan and Patton went to buy the popcorn. Just as Dexter said it would, the movie trailers were still playing by the time they walked in. Virgil guided the kids to their seats, making sure to leave a few seats empty so that the other adults can sit around and keep an eye on them.

The movie trailers reached its final one by the time Dexter walked in and took his seat in front of Virgil. 

“See, I told you it would turn out alright.” Dexter smiled over his shoulder, turning to look at him from one row down.

“Yeah… it did.” Virgil breathed out, his heart rate still calming down from his near panic attack.

Dexter smiles once more, then turned back to face the front as the movie began. Logan and Patton walked it with everyone’s snacks just in time.

The movie was definitely a lot more interesting than Virgil had thought it would be, not that he thought it would be completely boring. The plotline follows the story of a young girl who accidentally stumbled into her father’s laboratory and travels into another dimension, where she believed he disappeared to when she was a baby. The young girl then seeks after her father in the strange world, making friends along the way, and drawing attention from, and being hunted by, the people who captured her father. In the end, she reunites with him, the meeting was emotional enough to jerk a few tears from more than just him, and they go home. There was even a song sung for Roman to enjoy, and just enough violence to keep Remus entertained, but not so much that it was majorly concerning. A little over two hours later, the movie ended and the adults had to, once again, escort a crowd of small children out of the theater, which was no easy feat.

Along the way back to the cars, Roman practically bounced up and down as he reported every moment of the movie that he enjoyed. Dexter held onto his right hand and Virgil held onto his left, walking closely with the boy in between them. Remus basically hung off of Dexter’s shoulders, having asked to sit atop of them when they walked out. Dexter looked tired and repeatedly told him to stop squirming around, but it did little to calm the energized eleven-year-old. The scene warmed his heart and Virgil nearly laughed out loud at how silly he looked. He desperately wanted to take a picture but didn’t want to appear creepy. 

On the road back to the agency home, the twins sat and talked excitedly about the movie in the back. In the front, he and Dexter sat in silence. Virgil wanted to say something, anything, but all his words got tied together whenever he tried to speak. Dexter made a few comments towards him, but Virgil was only able to reply in short, broken, phrases. By the time they arrived back, Virgil still had said barely two words to the other man.

Why am I like this? Why can’t I do anything right?

Logan and Patton pulled into the driveway and along the street just a minute or two after them, both looking fatigued. Both Logan and Patton had worked full shifts that day, while it had been Virgil’s day off. He offered to help the children in and to bed so that they could go back to their apartment sooner. Patton argued against it at first, but one hushed word from Dexter, that Virgil couldn’t quite hear had him readily leaving with a smile, quickly dragging Logan along with him. A thrill of foreboding ran down his spine and Virgil then felt like he had made a mistake by offering to do so.

“Racoon man!” Remus cried, pulling on his arm violently, “I want soda!”

“No can do little man, it’s past your bedtime,” Virgil said, hauling him up into his arms, grabbing another kid’s hand, and leading them to the house. The movie was a late one and had ended at nine, which was just an hour before lights out. That meant that He and Dexter had a lot of work to do before then.

Dexter went on ahead to help the smallest toddlers to sleep in their room next to his in the basement. Virgil took it upon himself to help the older children get ready for bed upstairs. Setting Remus back down, he nudged him inside and directed him upstairs, almost closing the door behind him until he noticed Roman still standing out on the porch.

“Roman? You okay, little dude?” Virgil asked, walking out to him. Roman jumped slightly at the sound of his voice and quickly turned his head away, rubbing his face with the back of his arm.

“Yeah!” Roman replied, turning around hastily, head low. “Just allergies,”

Virgil wanted to interrogate him a bit further, not believing the excuse behind the tears the boy thought he didn’t see, but he ran inside and up the stairs before he could ask any further questions. Virgil sighed with a frown and followed after. 

It was truly a task to get all the kids to settle down enough to change into their pajamas, brush their teeth, and get into bed; but he didn’t have to do anything at all for Roman, the downcasted boy was in bed before anyone else. Virgil wanted to find out what was wrong but had a feeling that he just needed a little time to himself for now.

By the time he settled all the kids to bed and turned out the lights it was well past ten at night. Taking one final look at the twins resting in their beds, longer than the looks he gave the other kids, he went back down the stairs to head out and get some sleep of his own.

He grabbed his keys from the coffee table and had one foot out the door when Dexter suddenly walked in from the kitchen behind him, making him jolt slightly as he looked nothing more than a shadow in the lightless room.

“You heading out already?” Dexter asked him, switching on a lamp near him. Virgil squinted against the abrupt introduction of light, but once his eyes adjusted he noticed the simple cashmere black long-sleeve Dexter had changed into that hung eye blindingly tight against his body, and a small bottle of wine in his hand. Virgil turned his eyes up to his face to stop mentally drooling over him, but by the smirk on his face, Dexter had already realized what he had been doing. 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to have alcohol in the house?” Virgil coughed, trying to regain the cool that he never had.

“It’s my own small stash from my safe, the kids won’t ever get to it.” Dexter said matter-of-factly stepping away from the entrance frame with a push of his hip, “So…?”

Virgil looked to him and then to the small bottle of alcohol. A large part of him screamed not to risk it and run away and never come back. Deep down he knew what it would lead to, he isn’t dense, he’s noticed the attention Dexter’s given him over the past few months, but he didn’t trust himself not to ruin it.

I ruin everything. I’m the reason everyone left me. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t even try.

Even so, despite his best efforts to remain indifferent and unaffected by his charms, Virgil constantly found himself falling for his charisma and passion. He hoped that, just maybe, he would have another chance at a relationship.

“Maybe just one glass.” Virgil concedes, closing the door and following after Dexter into the back room.

The sat on the long couch, a foot of space between them, with wine glasses each in their hands. Dexter pop opened the bottle and poured a bit in both their glasses. They clinked their drinks together in toast and took their first sip. Virgil usually wasn’t much of a wine drinker, but the fruity taste sat deliciously on his tongue and drew him back for more.

“I wanted to thank you for all your help tonight, Virgil,” Dexter spoke up after their cheer, the rim of his glass against his lips.

“I didn’t really do anything.” Virgil huffed, twirling the drink in its glass.

“Yes you did, you made my job easier just by being there,” Dexter confessed urgently, chasing away his self-deprecating thoughts as soon as they came, just as he always did. “The children really like you.”

“Well, kids are easy to please.” Virgil blushed, turning away shyly, wrapping an arm around himself.

Slowly a hand reached out and gently grasped his chin, softly pulling it back as it were a moment before. Virgil then realized just how close they had become, the foot falling to a mere few inches. Their faces were within breathing distance and he could feel the steamed warmth of Dexter’s breath blowing against his cheek.

“They aren’t the only ones who like you.” He whispered,

A pull drew them closer together, closing the space between them. The grip on his chin was soft and gentle, allowing room for him to pull away at any moment. Virgil’s mind roared in his head as he lost himself in the moment and in Dexter’s caramel brown eyes. The time it took for them to finally reach each other was painstakingly slow, as though an eternity had passed by without them as they stayed still together, trapped in each other’s embrace. For the first time Virgil felt relaxed in someone else’s arms, he wasn’t afraid about what could be and could only think of what currently was.

However, the warm touch of Dexter’s lips against his reawakened those fears.

What if my breath smells? Am I out of practice? Am I a horrible kisser? Why is this happening? Why is he doing this? Why does he like? What if I screw it up? What if I push him away? I can’t lose him!

“Wait, stop!” Virgil shouted, pushing Dexter off of him.

Dexter fell back into the cushions roughly and looked back at him in surprise, confusion, and regret.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that-” He immediately began to apologize, which only made Virgil feel worse.

“No, it’s not that, it’s just-” I ruined it. I ruin everything. Why did I push him away? I’m so pathetic. I hurt him. I’m pushing him away. I don’t want him to leave. I have to do something to fix this. “Ca-can we just be friends?” He stuttered out, shutting his eyes closed and tightening his fists on the fabric of his jeans.

He shook in his spot, sobs trapped in his chest begging to break out, on the cusps of an emotional outburst. It took all of his strength and focus to keep from bursting out in tears and cries. Even so, a few tears managed to slip past him and fall down his cheeks.

A hand reached out and grasped his face, but only to wipe away the tears that had fallen through.

“If that’s what you want, then of course.” His kind voice answered, much too forgiving after what Virgil had just pulled.

“I’m sorry.” He hiccuped with a sob, causing another round of tears to fall.

“Don’t be, I don’t want to force anything onto you.” Dexter smiled, though he could see that it was forced and hurt.

Fuck, I’m the absolute worst.

-

The next few weeks were awkward as hell, though it was mostly his fault.

After, whatever the hell that was happened, Virgil practically ran from the house and scrammed his way to his apartment condo. About an hour later he received an incoming text from Dexter.

Dee: I’m sorry, forget what happened.

He wanted to, he really did; if it were possible he’d erase the feeling of being held so gently, he’d erase the image of Dexter’s eyes boring kindly into his, erase the smell of his burnt wood cologne. If the power to erase his memories existed within him he would do so in a heartbeat, so that his heart would stop beating so heavily and his clutch onto hope could come undone.

But no, he didn’t have that power, so now he was left to remember it all in excruciating detail. The hope inside him that he had desperately been trying to push down and squash had now gotten the upper hand.

No matter what he did, or told himself, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to ignore the emotions building inside him. Yet, it seemed that it didn’t make a difference in the end what he felt towards Dexter since he had already gone and ruined it, whatever it was.

In an attempt to avoid him and the awkwardness, Virgil switched from going twice a week to just once a week, but that did very little to help, in fact, it only made it worse. Before it was just strained and uncomfortable glances and awkward small talk, but after he started cutting his visits short they began to talk less and less, sometimes he wouldn’t even see Dexter because he’d be too busy with the other children. It wasn’t unusual for him to be busy with the other kids, but he had always somehow made time to talk with Virgil, but now it was as if he wasn’t putting in any effort.

Virgil didn’t blame Dexter for being terse or angry with him, he would be too if he had that shit pulled on him, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Although the biggest problem to come out of all this wasn’t the tension between the two men, it was the effect it had on the kids, Roman and Remus specifically. Since he only came once a week now Virgil had barely any time to be around them, and sometimes he’d only be able to see one or the other if either of them at all. His usual tutoring with Remus had been cut short and he could tell that he was beginning to struggle again as his class began to take a lead on him the more new material was introduced. Remus promised to work his hardest without him and said that Dexter helped him when he found the time, but Virgil couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Roman had taken it differently and had taken Dexter’s side, although he didn’t even know what happened between them. He grew quieter and would say barely two words to him. Virgil didn’t know what to do about it, wasn’t sure how to fix everything he had destroyed.

But he had to make that first step.

It was almost dinner time for the kids, Dexter occupied the kitchen preparing the food while Jessica, a volunteer, sat with Virgil and the other kids in the backroom as they watched Barbie. Remus sat by his side, pretending to be working on his scheduled reading homework, but really was focusing on the movie. The only one not there, besides the smaller toddlers taking their nap, was Roman.

Looking over his shoulder, Virgil stared out of the window into the backyard at the small treehouse in the great oak that sat alone out there. Recently, Roman had been retreating to his ‘tower,’ purposefully avoiding him. Virgil decided that, at the very least, he could try to earn the boy’s trust again.

Ruffling Remus’s hair as he stood, Virgil went out the screen door to the backyard and went over to the treehouse the boy was hiding in. Climbing the wood ladder, Virgil gently knocked on the door before he pushed it open and let himself in.

The treehouse was pretty scarce of anything, but it had an old pillow and a few stuffed animals strewn about on the floor. The ceiling was really low, which meant it was impossible for Virgil to stand, so he had to remain seated the entire time.

“Hey bud,” Virgil greeted, crawling into the cramped space, “You mind if I join you up here?” Roman didn’t reply, sitting in the corner of the wooden fortress with his back faced towards him. “Look, I know you’re angry at me right now, but I didn’t mean to-”

“Why are you still here?” The sixth-grader cut him off, his voice icy and hard.

“I- Excuse me?”

“I can tell how much you hate being here. Why don’t you stop faking it and just go?” Roman spat, curling further into himself. “All they ever do is leave, even if they promise to come back, they never do. So why don’t you go away!” He shouted in a broken sob that pierced Virgil’s heart.

Roman had always been a cheerful and energetic child, similar to his brother but in a more controlled way. However, there were moments when he seemed quiet and subdued. The moments never lasted long and were far and few in between, and whenever Virgil asked about it he would always change the subject or give a simple answer. He thought it was just one of his many quirks, he should have realized sooner that he was feeling this way. It made perfect sense, Roman had lived the past ten years of his life in disappointment as he watched the children around him steadily be adopted one by one, which he and his brother were left behind. Perhaps they had been considered by a few families, and maybe some of them even promise to come back and never did. They grew up being judged and rejected by adults, they’ve known nothing else, it’s become their entire existence and identity; what did a child make of that?

“Was- was it me?” Roman asked sobbing, more to himself than to Virgil, his eyes blurred with tears and snot running down his nose.

Suddenly, without thinking, Virgil snapped and reached out, pulling Roman into a massive hug, holding him tightly against his chest and running his fingers through his hair.

“Roman, Roman no. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He told the crying by, setting his chin on top of his small head.

“Then why aren’t you around anymore?”

“Because adults are idiots sometimes.” Virgil chuckled dryly.

He’s been a damn fool lately, running away from his problems won’t solve anything, and not talking about it made it worse. He hadn’t meant to cause anyone harm, never intended for the boys to be affected the way they were. But it happened, so he had to fix it.

Once Roman calmed down and regained himself Virgil lead him back inside the house, hand in hand, and sat him with his brother in front of the still playing movie. He could tell the boy didn’t want him to leave his side, but the sooner he fixed his mistake the better it would be for everything else.

Dexter was still in the kitchen, placing a casserole into the oven. Virgil watched him for a moment, observing how calm he looked when he was focused, calm and beautiful. Dexter set the casserole on the middle shelf and closed the oven door, setting a timer on the stove, and then turned and caught Virgil in the middle of his staring.

“Hello.” He greeted, his usually warm smile appearing slightly strained.

“Hey, Dexter,” Virgil returned his greeting looking down at his feet, “c-could I talk to you?”

“Of course, what is it?” He asked, taking off his oven mitts, throwing them on the counter, and leaning his weight against the refrigerator. 

“I…” Virgil began, still looking at the ground, crossing his arms and rubbing his sides nervously, “I wanted to say I’m sorry… for pushing you away.”

Dexter’s calm and relaxed facade suddenly fell away and he became rigid and stood straighter. Even his fake smile cannot remain, his face becoming harder and somber with retrospect.

“I told you before, it’s alright.” Dexter reminded him, sounding downtrodden.

“No, it isn’t, I made you think that you were the problem. I never wanted to do that to you.” Virgil argued shaking his head as he looked up from his feet, his voice unintentionally growing louder.

Dexter his eyes grew wide and surprise, as did Virgil‘s, neither were used to say anxious librarian using a loud tone or becoming aggressive. It wasn’t that Virgil was never aggressive, in fact, he could be quite aggressive, although not physically and rather verbally; but since whenever he was around Dexter he was also around children the former never really had the chance to see that side of him. Virgil froze for a moment, fearing what Dexter would think of him after he yelled. However, Dexter didn’t appear to be offended, and he actually appeared endeared by it. It’s my return, but just for a moment, except this time it was real.

“Well, I forgive you, and I’m sorry as well.” Dexter exhaled, leaning away from the refrigerator.

“What for? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Virgil asked in confusion.

“Yeah I did, I made you uncomfortable, and spent the time since avoiding sulking about it. I’ve been acting like a child.”

“If anyone’s a child it’s me, I’ve been avoiding you like an idiot.” Virgil disagreed, putting himself down that he might build Dexter up.

“Don’t say that about yourself.” The caretaker said in an almost commanding voice, becoming rigid in his stance once again. This time it was Virgil‘s turn to be surprised at the other new show of aggression. Sure, Dexter was no saint, Virgil had seen him get frustrated and annoyed with the children multiple times since he first came to the Stork House, but it was always in a nurturing way, like a parent to a child. His tone of voice and the look in his eyes showed something else besides parental affection, kind, caring, and intense.

It’s the truth, though.

Those were the thoughts that Virgil always told himself and believed. It was easier to take the blame than to risk hurting someone else. Still, it was nice to have someone to help combat those thoughts, even if he didn’t listen.

Their eyes stayed locked for a few moments more, taking part in an unspoken battle against each other for a prize he couldn’t figure out. A heartbeat or two more passed when Dexter’s strong stance and expression began to crumble away into one more relaxed, and he began to laugh, although Virgil wants sure if he was laughing at him or something else entirely. Dexter’s hearty and breathless laughter filled the room and chased away the tension; Virgil had no choice but to join in until they both became laughing fools.

“I think the kids are starting to rub off on us,” Dexter chokes out between laughs. 

“I think you mean just you,” Virgil teased, holding his now hurting stomach.

“Says the guy pointing fingers like a child,” Dexter smirked.

Virgil feigned offense and put a hand on his chest and pretended to be wounded, just like Roman would do. 

Perhaps the children really were rubbing off on him, but he didn’t consider that a bad thing. So what if he acted like a child from time to time, being around these kids had been some of his best days. Ever since he came to the Stork Agency Virgil has found it in himself to smile again without it being fake or forced. He’s having actual fun again, he feels like he’s contributing to something bigger than himself, and he feels almost whole again.

Dexter excused himself to call the kids to wash their hands before dinner, which was finished and set out on the counter. 

Virgil watched the man in both wonder and curiosity. He had never laughed like that with anyone else, not since Matthew, and he had never expected to do so again. Virgil had welcomed in failure with each relationship he walked into, he expected and built up walls to protect himself for when it inevitably happened. Yet, this man, in just a handful of months, had managed to put a dent in his walls and threatened to break them down for good.

In his fear and natural reflex, Virgil wanted to put an end to the threat and keep his walls up higher than they were before. He had been hurt too many times and feared being completely shattered if he took one more blow. Even so, Virgil found himself welcoming in the destruction of his walls. He had trapped himself in a box for years, relinquishing his freedom and joy in exchange for security. He was bound by the chains of his own creation with the key in his hand at all times.

Virgil had a choice to entrust that key to someone else, but he still wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to. However, with how things were going, not only would his walls be removed, but he will also hand over the key to his heart as well. And Dexter would be at the center of it all.

-

“So if this is the tens place, and this is the hundreds, which one is this?”

“Uhm… it’s the… it’s the thousandths place.” Remus replied, head bent over his homework booklet as he stared intensely at the numbers on the page.

“Good job! So if that’s the thousandths place, where does this number round to?” Virgil quizzed, pointing at the four at the end of the equation.

“It…It…um, it doesn’t.” 

“Correct! But why doesn’t it?” He continued, making sure that he wasn’t just guessing.

“Because… it’s less than five, so… it doesn’t round up.” Remus answered, his eyes lighting up.

“Great job bob, Einstein is gonna have to look out.” Virgil congratulated him, pulling him into a hug and affectionately ruffing up his hair.

“Yeah or else he’ll have a chicken stuck up his butt.” The boy proclaimed with a grin.

“Mister Virgil? Can you help me?” Another child, Samantha, asked. Virgil nodded and scooted over to her to look over her work and help her where he could. 

The fresh spring breeze blew through the open windows and ruffled up the worksheet, nearly blowing them off the table. May had come, and with it, the warmth partnered with the ending of spring and the approaching summer. Not only did it bring a change of weather, but also the impending student stress of finals. Virgil, who had actually somehow made it through college all four years and was a surprisingly decent student, due to his anxiety over failure, offered to help them. After all, how hard could grade school classes be?

At first, he had helped only Remus since he was still a ways behind his class, but soon after all the other children gathered around him asking for help in their studies. He would have been overwhelmed if it wasn’t for Patton, who offered to help in English and History, while Virgil helped with Math and Science.

By far, the hardest subject for Remus to grasp was math. He really was a creative boy and was more of an artist than anything else, the math simply didn’t come easy for him; it was the same for Roman as well. If he could, Virgil would move them to a fine arts school where they could cultivate their talents and focus on what they were good at and not be held back. Roman had a better time in math and science than his brother, but they still weren’t his favorite subjects, so he didn’t need to ask for help as often, except when it came to mean, median, and range.

“This is stupid! Why do I have to know this?” Roman complained, throwing down his pencil in frustration.

“Honestly I don’t know bud,” Virgil sighed and patted the boy’s head, “But if you pass your test I’ll take you out for ice cream.” 

Roman’s eyes lit up at that and he immediately took the bait, returning to his work and giving the problems more of his attention. Virgil smiled as he watched the boy’s comedic face as he focused solely on the homework sheet. Virgil remembered hating math in school, despite being good at it, and it did little to serve him outside of the education system. Unless Roman wanted to go into a science or math-related field, which he probably didn’t, Virgil doubted he’d really need the information he’s learning.

“Hey raccoon man, are you busy next Tuesday?” Remus suddenly spoke up from his seat beside him, using the nickname he had received the first day they met.

“Besides work in the afternoon, not really, why?” Virgil inquired of the boy.

Roman, who seemed to already know what his brother was talking about, tensed up and gave a commanding, “Don’t.”

But he went ignored as Remus continued on anyways.

“We’re having parents day at school. Snake man is going because he’s our guardian, but I want you to be there too.” The eleven-year-old beamed brightly, bouncing around excitedly in his seat.

“That’s such a good idea!” Patton gasped and smiled widely with a clap of his hands, taking a break from helping Maddie to listen in on their conversation.

“Oh, well I’m not sure if it’s okay for-”

“He’s not our dad, Remus.” Roman spat out loudly, causing the room to quiet down and turn to them. Realizing that all eyes were on him, Roman flushed a bright red and turned his head down, but still remained upset. “He’s just some guy.”

The room was deathly silent as all the children and both adults stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to the young boy’s sudden outburst. Roman froze as realization dawned on his face that was quickly replaced with a mix of anger and guilt. Standing from his seat at the coffee table, Roman ran away down the hall and upstairs, the sound of footsteps echoing in his wake.

No one made a move for several moments after and just looked around at each other at a loss for words. Virgil, however, snapped out of his shock and swiftly followed after him. It didn’t take long to find him as he wasn’t really hiding, and was simply lying on his bed on the bottom bunk with his back turned towards him.

“Hey, you okay?” Virgil asked, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

“I’m sorry Mr. Virgil,” Roman apologized, turning over to face him, his eyes full of tears and snot running down his nose.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Virgil told him and pulled him into a side hug with one arm, “I understand.” 

Even though it surprised him, even though it hurt a little to hear those words, Roman was right, he wasn’t their dad, he had no right to act as if he was. “I know I’m not your dad, but if you’d let me, I’d love to go to your school.”

“Really?” Roman wondered, his glassy eyes shone bright with excitement and he sat up on the back of his legs.

“Yeah, of course.” 

Still, despite the legality of it all, he wanted to go to their school and feel like their parents, even if it was just for a day.

“So I heard you're coming to parents day.” Dexter started, speaking first between them as they walked together through the supermarket. 

Normally it would be Patton’s duty to help with groceries, but he was currently out of commission taking care of a sick Logan. Virgil had warned him that he was getting too much dust and not enough sunlight from overworking himself as per usual at the library. Well, it wasn’t as if Virgil practice perfectly healthy habits either, but which one of them was sick in bed? Exactly.

Either way, Virgil was now stuck pushing a cart around while Dexter read off his list and filled the basket with different foods, sauces, spices, and treats. He wasn’t too bent over it though, spending time with Dexter wasn’t a complete punishment. Ever since they had that talk two weeks ago the tension had basically dissipated. Until today that is; Virgil didn’t know exactly what had happened, but ever since his last visit earlier that week Dexter had been more quiet than usual, almost like he was busy thinking.

“Yeah, Remus invited me.” Virgil agreed, taking the cans of alfredo sauce the other man held out to him and placing them in the cart. “Roman didn’t like it at first, but he’s alright with it now.”

Dexter check pasta sauce of his list and stayed silent for a moment, gazing far ahead of him at something Virgil couldn’t see, his eyes cold and focused. Virgil gulped down a breath of nervous air as he grew anxious about the conversation.

Is he mad at me? Does he not want me to go to parents’ day?

“I worry about them sometimes.”

Virgil blinked and snapped out of his anxious thoughts before he could spiral, stunned and intrigued by the statement.

“Huh?”

Dexter walked on ahead, reading over his shopping list and leading them to the next item they needed. Virgil watched him walk in front of him, noticing the tension in his shoulders, and followed after.

“They’re so used to disappoint and being rejected by every foster and adopter that comes to the house,” he began, his tone low and somber, “but you’re the only one to ever wanted to come back and see them. I worry sometimes that it’s raising their hopes.” He confessed head hung low as he came to a slow stop and stared down at his feet. “Do you ever think you’ll adopt them?”

The librarian opened his mouth to respond but hesitated in his answer. Will he adopt them? There was no denial that he had grown attached to the boys since he first met them on his birthday six months ago, that being with them brought him a sort of joy and fulfillment he hadn’t felt in a long time. Of course, there were times he has been annoyed with them and wanted to walk out, such as when they were being stubborn and difficult or throwing tantrums, but they were only children and he came back to see them anyways.

Even so, was he ready to take care of two children? It’s not like he was making a whole lot of money at his job as an assistant manager if it was just one of them it might work, but there was no way he could choose between them or split them apart. And if he did take both of them, would there be enough room in his condo for them to live. His condo wasn’t that big and had only two rooms, both of which were currently being used. He could empty out his office, but that would mean they’d have to share a small amount of space. That may work for now, but what about when they’re older? Plus, with his work hours, he wouldn’t come back home until around ten at night five days a week, he couldn’t leave them alone like that.

“Its a big change in life to have a kid, let alone two. I still don’t know if I’m ready.” Virgil admitted regretfully.

The last thing he wanted to do was to toy with the boys’ feelings, but he couldn’t take them in, not yet at least.

“No one ever truly is.” The caregiver stated, his voice sounding serious but his face was kind with affection and understanding, “I’m not going to pressure you into making a decision, but please consider it. I can tell how much you love them just by watching you. And I know for a fact they love you back.”

Virgil smiled to himself, but it was slightly strained, his emotions were a haywire mix of joy, grief, pride, and guilt. Even if he loved being around them, wanted to see them grow and be there for them, they weren’t his and he had no right to them. If Virgil had been brave he would have admitted it to himself by now, that he couldn’t imagine life without the twins anymore, he could picture a future without them in it. But he feared what that kind of commitment entailed, and distressed over whether his broken self could manage it.

-

Requesting the day off to attend a parents’ day event at one of the local middle schools for two children who weren’t his that he met at an orphanage less than a year ago had certainly been an interesting way to start off his Tuesday morning. He had the date marked down on his Twenty One Pilots calendar, on his iPhone planner, and had even written reminders on sticky notes and placed them throughout his condo. Virgil did not want to miss it for the world. Thankfully his boss hadn’t questioned him too much on it and gave him the day off.

The next part of his morning had been dressing the part, even if he wasn’t their dad he wanted to make a good impression on the teachers. Besides, Dexter would be there too, and he didn’t want to slack off in front of someone who always somehow managed to look irresistibly good.

Not that that was the point of today.

Starting off with a quick shower, Virgil carefully blow-dried and styled his hair, keeping his bangs out of his face this time. When it came time to get dressed, he settled on a clean pair of non-ripped black jeans and a dark grey tee shirt without a printed design, since they were some of the few clothes that seemed appropriate to wear at a middle school. The real trouble came with picking a jacket, most of his wear oversized hoodies he had modified himself that definitely wouldn’t fly, but after some extensive rummaging through his closet, he found an old black blazer he only ever used for formal occasions. Once he was dressed he looked at himself in the mirror and decided it was good enough if not a little foreign. 

He had promised to meet Dexter and the boys at the school gates before class started, so when he had parked in the visitor lot and jogged up to the front of the school he could see the three standing on the side waiting for him.

Just as he had expected, Dexter looked stunning. Shaking that thought out of his head, Virgil focused on the boys and continued to jog over to them.

“Hey guys,” he greeted, “You ready to head in?”

“Duh, we were waiting for you, raccoon.” Remus retorted, and then received a hard nudge from behind by Dexter.

“Remus, That’s not how you should speak to people.” The caregiver warned the boy. “Now let’s get going.”

“Yeah stupid!” Roman mocked,

“I’m not stupid, stupid!”

“That reply was stupid.”

“Snake man!” Remus cried loudly,

Dexter groaned in exasperation and walked in between, separating them before they could continue any further, and pulled them along by their hands. Virgil chuckled and followed along, taking Remus’s free hand in his as he walked alongside them.

“Rough morning?” Virgil asked, having a side glance to Dexter.

“You could say that.” He muttered, “Johnathan canceled on me, but luckily Ashley was able to watch over the kids while I was away.”

“That’s rough buddy,” 

“Whatever you say, Prince Zuko.” Dexter laughed, understanding the reference. Virgil grinned and laughed along too, glad that he was able to bring a smile to his face.

The boys’ classroom was in the third wing of the school near the very end of the hall, but before they went to class they stopped by their lockers so they could put away their backpacks and grab their books. The room was decently large, with desks lined up in rows of four by six, extra chairs had been placed near the outer desks and in the back.

The first class of the day was English and Reading, which meant pretty much the entire hour was spent with the children just reading books on their own and discussing what they read, which was honestly kinda boring. Virgil tried to pay attention but once he noticed the other parents all on their phones or, not so secretly, taking naps, he succumbed and pulled out his phone as well.

The next class was much more exciting, and not just because Virgil was partial to the subject. The makeshift not-family walked together to the classroom directly across the hall to Mr. Humford’s basic Biology class. This class was a far cry from the last as this teacher decided to hold a parent and student team biology game. Although he had been a duel science major, his studies had been in computer science and library science, and yes that is an actual science. 

For the game, parents and children split into teams of two and went up to the whiteboard to face off against each other three at a time. To do this, Virgil teamed up with Remus, while Dexter paired with Roman. 

Dexter and Roman went up in the first round but lost, coming as a bit of a shock to Virgil. The caretaker came off as a highly intelligent person, but perhaps science wasn’t his strong suit. Virgil and Remus went up in the third round and actually managed to win theirs, which brought them into a final showdown against four other groups. They didn’t win, but they had finished in third place and got some candy as a prize. The teacher and other students looked extremely surprised at Remus when he got his award, but Remus was simply happy and proud and rubbed his reward in Roman’s face. 

This caused Dexter to force him to share when the older twin began to loudly complain, which only made Remus complain and disturb the classroom. The science teacher looked at him in agitation and looked like he was about to say something, but Virgil swiftly handled it by covertly giving Remus some more candy when their backs were turned, winking and holding a finger against his lips to keep it a secret.

After science, there was a ten-minute break that passed by in a flash and then they were suddenly in math class. The class was similar to the first in that it was filled with the kids doing boring work and parents hanging out on their phones. The first fifteen minutes were filled with the children doing a math warm-up sheet, which then turned into a forty lesson and discussion. 

Virgil could tell that the teacher was trying to engage the children and get them excited for the lesson, but he couldn’t really blame them for being bored in a math class.

“Okay, so today we’re going to go over a new topic, I hope you did the pre-reading I told you to do because it went over what we’re about to learn: absolute value. Now, can anyone tell me what the absolute value of one hundred and two is?” The young female teacher asked, moving back and forth in the front as she looked across the rows of preteens.

No one raised their hands, obviously not having read the assigned math book. The teacher looked slightly distressed and called out again, “Anyone? Anyone at all?” 

In the back row, in the very far corner, Remus energetically raised his hand up high, a grin on his face. Virgil beamed with pride over him taking the initiative, especially since he had helped Remus with absolute value last week.

The teacher, however, either didn’t notice Remus or pointedly ignored him. With a heavy sigh, she turned towards the board to do the equation herself.

“Excuse me miss, but Remus has his hand up,” Vigil spoke up, catching the teacher’s attention before she could write the answer on the board.

The teacher looked over at him in surprise, as if she didn’t believe him, and turned towards Remus slowly, hands on her hips.

“Well, Remus, do you actually know it?” She asked, her voice laced with a hint of sarcasm. A few of the kids around him chuckled among themselves, but Remus didn’t seem to notice.

Dexter twitched a bit in his seat beside him and scrunched his face in annoyance, and Virgil couldn’t agree more.

“It’s one hundred and two, Miss Lady!” Remus shouted, louder than it was necessary.

“Hm, that’s correct, though it wasn’t that hard of a question.” She chided, writing the answer on the board. “You see, when you have an absolute value symbol in any number, the answer will always be-”

Remus wasn’t called on for the rest of the class period, even though he raised his hand several times, and despite Virgil mentioning it, the teacher refused to call on him. And as they went through the day he realized that she wasn’t the only teacher to do that to him. In almost every single one of his classes, Remus went ignored, left out of discussions, or had discrete, snide remarks sent towards him.

He could tell that he wasn’t the only person to notice this, as not only did Dexter see the difference in treatment Remus was receiving, but Roman did as well and sat glaring daggers at the teacher and the other students.

Sadly enough, this was a recurring issue throughout the rest of the day in almost every class. If it wasn’t the students leaving him out of groups or ignoring him it was the teachers using underlying tones or making quiet remarks towards her intelligence or personality. It was always “Remus, focus,” and “Stop bothering the other students,” and “Please apply yourself more,” or “Put in more effort.”

They tried to make it seem like they were being benevolent or helpful since they were being watched, but Virgil could see through their facade and knew they were usually straight-up assholes. Especially the teacher they were currently with who had no issue pausing in his Geography lecture to straight-up yell at the boy.

“Remus Sanchez! Stop fidgeting!” The teacher, and thankfully last one of the day, ordered in a commanding, boisterous bellow.

Remus, who sat directly in front of his desk, had been rocking back and forth in his seat, tapping his own tune on his leg with his pencils as if they were drums as he listened to the boring lesson on the geography of Florida. The sudden shout had scared him into stillness and he immediately sat up straight in his chair. The way he reacted so swiftly and in an orderly fashion hinted that it had not been the first time Remus had been yelled at.

“Sorry Mister Sir, I-” Remus began but was cut off with another shout.

“And stop with that childish nickname! It’s Mr. Ruiz, I expect that even you can remember that.”

Remus didn’t answer back and instead simply turned his head down towards his desk and gave a small nod. 

A few parents looked around at each other in concern and simply shrugged, knowing it was wrong but not willing to do anything against the geography teacher. Virgil clenched his fists and looked over to Dexter, who looked back equally as furious, but more as a quiet cold fury rather than Virgil’s boiling hot rage. Dexter shook his head and mouthed “after class.” But that wasn’t enough for him, this dick didn’t deserve to be let off easy for what he just did.

Mr. Ruiz turned with an approving nod at Remus’s submission, and went back to his powerpoint but  said barely two words before Virgil said loudly, “Excuse me, Mr. Ruiz, can you not speak to Remus like that?”

The teacher paused in his lecture and turned slowly to face whoever had dared to cause such an offense by interrupting him. Mr. Ruiz looked directly at Virgil in disdain and astonishment, as though he actually couldn’t believe that a “family acquaintance,” as he had been labeled several times that day, had actually spoken up in defiance.

“I beg your pardon?” He questioned,

His heart pounded in his chest at the upcoming confrontation, his anxiety yelled at him in his ears to shut up and apologize, but he shoved it all down, letting his anger drown out his fear. Virgil raised his head to face him and stood from his chair, his shaking at his sides.

“I said, don’t speak to him like that. Ever again.” Virgil spoke through tight lips, drawn into a sneer.

“Mr. Black, I highly doubt that now is the proper time to act in such a way-”

“But it’s time to yell at a kid in front of his parents? Are you trying to send a message or something?” He challenged, 

“Virgil, maybe you should calm down-” Dexter tried to calm him down, placing a gentle hand on his arm, but failed as it only made him even more riled up.

“No, Dee, I’ve had enough of watching these moronic teachers pick on Remus. You claim that he’s failing school but you keep him out of discussions and refuse to be decent educators!” He roared and ripped his arm away to point an accusatory finger at the teacher.

A stir started up among the students as they whispered among themselves, questioning and wondering about the claims Virgil was making. They looked to their own children, concerned whether or not Remus was the only one being mistreated by the faculty. Mr. Ruiz watched from the front as his classroom began to become distraught and flushed red in anger.

“Mr. Black!” Mr. Ruiz hollered, “Now is not the time for a family friend to file in complaints. Instead of pointing fingers you should focus on finding him someone who can raise him properly.”

The classroom quieted down at the loud outburst and blatant insult towards not just Virgil, but also at Dexter, who had spent the past ten years raising Remus. Virgil knew that he did every possible thing he could to support him while taking care of ten other children, the nights that were wasted away, the days he couldn’t leave the house, the countless hours that went without getting a break. No one had ever tried harder than Dexter, so Virgil knows that that comment hit deeper for him.

“I wouldn’t say another word if I were you,” Dexter warned in a dangerously low voice, his eyes filled with a near murderous glint as he slowly rose from his chair. “Yes, yelling in class on parents' day is not okay, but neither is degrading a child in front of his caregivers and other parents on the day you as a teacher are supposed to show to us that our children are in capable hands while we’re away at work. I have half a mind to sue the school for the discriminatory treatment he receives here.”

Mr. Ruiz stared flabbergasted with his mouth hung open, as did the rest of the entire classroom, the teachers and the students included. Not missing a beat, Dexter moved to Remus and gathered his things and pulled him out of his seat by the hand. Virgil followed suit and went to Roman, chasing after them as the caregiver practically charged for the door. “Have a good life, Mr. Ruiz. We’re leaving.”

Class ended for the day, ending early at noon for the working parents, but the four of them had long since been gone. After the miniature showdown in the geography classroom, Dexter has gone and signed out Roman and Remus for the rest of the day and scheduled a time to meet with the principal. Virgil stood a few steps behind the fuming man, the boys’ hand in his, letting him have his space to calm down. 

While he had been the one to make the first move and yell at the teacher, Dexter ended up becoming even more livid than he did. He felt partially responsible and almost guilty about what had happened, but he reminded himself that he had done it for Remus’s sake and wasn’t completely in the wrong.

In the end, they decided to treat the boys to some ice cream and went to the nearest McDonalds to get a cone and sundaes. Virgil offered to pay since he felt guilty, so Dexter went with the kids while they played in the play place. Of course, the ice cream machine was broken, so he just got everyone McFlurries instead. By the time he finally had everything, the boys were lost in their own little world, while Dexter sat on the sideline lost in thought.

“Sorry, the ice cream machine was broken,” Virgil said as he walked up and set the drinks on the table.

“That’s alright,” Dexter replied, giving him a small, tired smile. “Thank you.”

“It was only, like, three bucks, so-”

“No, not that.” Dexter shook his head, letting out a light chuckle, “For earlier.”

“Why? I made a scene and yelled at the teacher.”

“Yes but you did what I could not, guess it’s a good thing you’re the hot-headed one.”

“Gee, thanks.” Virgil huffed and leaned back in the hard plastic chair, tapping at the table lightly for a thoughtful moment, “I’m glad I am too but have they always been that way with him?”

“Well,” Dexter began but paused when the twins came running over, cheering as they sat and grabbed their flurries, not appearing to care that it wasn’t what they had originally been promised, which is a miracle in its own. “Why don’t we finish this later?” Dexter offered, opening the straw and putting it in the McFlurry for Remus, who had been struggling with the packet.

Virgil nodded and grabbed his drink, turning to Roman to chat with him to get his head going. Today had been primarily focused on Remus, but that didn’t make Roman any less important, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t feel left out. As he prattled on about his favorite Disney princes, which eventually roped Remus in, Virgil smiled at the way he lit up like a Christmas tree and the peasant energy he gave off. It was a mystery how they hadn’t been adopted until now, but with each passing moment, he found himself more and more relieved that they hadn’t been.

You’re not ready to be a parent.

Virgil ignored that thought.

-

When they arrived back at the Stork house Patton had dinner going, while most of the kids sat in the living room playing a game. The others were presumably spread out through the house. Dexter went and offered to take over and let Patton go home early. As his best friend left, he winked at him and whispered “good luck” before he headed outside to leave. Virgil blushed and stuttered but was unable to reply or come up with an excuse before he was out the door.

Both Patton and Logan knew about his conflicted emotions for Dexter and, despite knowing his past, encouraged him to pursue it. Thankfully they didn’t butt in and do anything to force them together, which he was truly grateful for.

The night went on as it usually did whenever he came there after dinner was served the children were allowed three hours of free time spent watching TV and playing games before he and Dexter got them all ready for bed before lights out at ten. Tonight Virgil and Dexter switched roles and he was the one to help the toddlers while the other helped the older kids. He didn’t hate the toddlers, but they were a pain in the ass to get to settle down. At least two of them refused to get changed into their pajamas, and nearly all of them didn’t want to brush their teeth. By the time he got them into bed and, presumably, go to sleep, Dexter was already waiting for him on the couch, finishing with the older kids way before him.

“You could have helped you know.” Virgil chided falling back into the, kinda, soft cushions. They seriously needed a new couch, one not stained and lumpy from ware tear. 

“I thought you could handle it.” He grinned, leaning on his side, resting his head in a palm. His cat-like smile became serious, “I got an email from the school. They offered to suspend the teacher for thirty days, but only if they get a written apology from us.”

“Fucking bullshit if you ask me.” Virgil groaned, throwing his head back he dragged a hand down his face and rubbed at his tired eyes. “Guess they don’t actually give a shit do they?”

“Even if I did threaten them with a lawsuit, they know I’ve always been tight on money and can’t afford an actual lawyer,” Dexter said with a grimace.

“Havey they always been such dickwads?”

“Careful with the language, the kids, and pretty much yeah. It was fine at first, but then Remus began to show signs of an undiagnosed child development disorder that’s thus far gone untreated. Because of that, not only the kids but the teachers as well, treat him horribly. And since he isn’t diagnosed, I can’t switch him to the special ed classes where he could potentially get better care.”

“You haven’t taken him to a doctor?”

“Believe me, I wish I could,” Dexter sighed, eyes tired. Suddenly he looked as if he had aged ten years, the weight and worry giving his stress lines beyond his age. “But I just don’t have the funds. I’m basically a single father with ten kids. Roman accepts his brother as he is, and that’s already more than I can ask for. I just wish I could make it easier for him.”

He went quiet, shifting to sit forward and lean over, elbows on his knees and hands in his hair. It was hard to see in the dim light, but Virgil noticed a few gray hairs peeking out from where his head was usually covered by those hats he liked to wear. Virgil frowned and looked out the window at the night sky, which was more visible with the new moon. All around there were stars, and most all of them shone white and were small, but there where a few that stood out. Ones that were large, twinkled a little more or shined other colors like blue or red. They stood out and were different, yet they were the most beautiful of all. 

It was a common woe of a parent to have a child that stood out, naturally, they wanted to make their life as free sailing as possible. And sometimes being just like everyone else is what is easy, it’s what’s considered normal, while diversity is often difficult, but that is what makes it so beautiful. Over the past couple of months, he had come to know Remus as the quirky boy he was and he had come to love him because of it, both he and his brother. They were the kindest and friendliest kids he had ever met, and if their school refused to see that, then they didn’t deserve to have them as students.

“There’s a school not too far from my place, they could go there next year.” Virgil offered, voice barely above a whisper.

Dexter raised his head and gave him an incredulous look, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“But that’s on the other side of the city. I’m not sure if they would be able to make it to school on time each day.” Dexter told him.

“Then they could move in with me. I live just down the road.” Virgil said, trailing off and growing quieter with each word as his insecurity and doubt began to rise up. 

What am I doing?! Shut up! This is too much commitment! His anxiety screamed at him like an unhelpful, angry track coach. Virgil tensed up slightly in his shoulders as his body began to lightly shake. However, before he spiraled, Virgil centered himself and breathed in and out deeply and tried to change his thoughts. 

You’re not ready. Yes, I am. You’ll be a horrible father. No, I won’t. You don’t know the first thing about parenting. I can do research online and at the library. They won’t want you as their father. I don’t know that. You can’t. I can.

“I want to adopt them. I’m ready.” Virgil said, more to himself than to Dexter.

Dexter beside him smiled and nodded his head, his lips visibly trembling as his eyes became water and tears filled the corners of his eyes. So many emotions passed over his face within a short moment; happiness, relief, pride, surprise, and joy to name a few. It was as if a ten-year-long wish had finally been granted, and it most likely had.

“Thank you.” Dexter muttered voice choked up before he cleared his throat, “I’m glad to hear that and proud that they’re going with someone like you, but I’m afraid it may not be possible.”

Now it was Virgil turn to feel an array of sudden emotions, mostly confusion and hurt.

“What? Wait, why?”

“Well, as you said before, you are not financially fit to care for two children. If you were to apply for adoption it’s likely you’d be rejected.”

“So what? After all this your telling me I can’t adopt the boys?” Virgil nearly shouted the previous calming and celebratory atmosphere went now that he was pissed. Dexter, however, just smiled.

“Let me finish.” He chuckled, making Virgil frown deeper, “There is an option to have a cosigner apply with you to help you care for them and pay the fees. If you have someone sign the adoption papers with you and help pay the deposit, you should be allowed to adopt them pretty easily.” He explained, leaning back into the couch slowly, turning his body towards him again.

“I’ve raised Roman and Remus since they were two years old, they are as much my sons as anyone else’s. I’d like it to remain that way.”

Virgil thought for a moment, trying to figure out what he meant, and then blushed when it finally hit him. He swiftly became aware of how close their bodies had become and the soft, alluring, look on Dexter’s face that threatened to give him a heart attack.  All his anger from the moment before had been utterly replaced with nervousness.

“Is-Is this some kind of marriage proposal or something?” The librarian asked,

“What?! Of course not, I mean I like you but that’s a bit too fast.” The caregiver said in a rush, his face and ears reddening as well.

“Okay good! Yeah sorry, I just got freaked out there. Thank god!” Virgil breathed out in relief, sinking down in his seat, a hand over his beating chest.

“Do you not want to get married? Like… ever?” Dexter inquired, looking a little worried.

“No! I mean… kinda? I don’t know, relationships have never been my forte.” 

Dexter watched him carefully for a moment, and then asked, “Was is someone specific?”

Virgil bit his tongue and sunk a little lower in his seat. It wasn’t something he liked to revisit or tell others. To him, it was his single greatest failure of his life and his biggest regret. He had wished endless time that he could’ve gone back in time and done it all different back then. Part of his felt like he’d never move past it, but maybe this could be his starting point. He liked Dexter, he really did, but his fear from his past was holding him back from doing anything about it. Perhaps telling him would help.

Another few moments passed, Dexter waited beside him patiently, not rushing or pressuring him. With a deep breath, he opened his mouth.

“Well, I’ve always been awkward in relationships, especially when they became intimate. But, back when I was in college I dated this guy named Matthew. He was amazing, sweet, and pretty much my best friend. In truth, it was the only time I’ve ever been in love. After three years, he popped the question and I-, I wasn’t sure. I told him that I needed a little time to think and focus on my final year of college. Matthew promised he would wait, ‘Until the end of time,’ he said. Three months passed and I had my degree and my answer. But when I went back to him, he had moved on with someone else.”

Virgil swallowed the lump clogging his throat and heaved a shaky breath. Dexter put a comforting arm around his shoulders, Virgil leaned into him gratefully, sighing as the other rubbed his shoulder in reassurance.

“I’ve tried so hard to recreate what I had with him with other guys, but all I could think about was how I wasn’t enough for Matthew. That I had kept him waiting too long, and that I wasn’t enough to wait for.”

“Bullshit.”

“Huh?” Virgil spluttered in shock, leaning away to look up at him in confusion.

“Bull. Shit.” Dexter repeated, firmer and more intensely, “You’re more than enough. That asshole said he’d wait forever and couldn’t even handle three months, that dick didn’t deserve you.”

“I don’t know about that,” Virgil mumbled, turning his head down.

“Virgil.” Dexter said softly in a firm tone, gently pulling up his face with his hands, “You are the most amazing person I’ve known. You’re honest and diligent, caring yet stern, intelligent and brave. What more can I need to know I want you, and to raise the boys with you?”

“A thirty-year-old that doesn’t look like a depressed teen emo?” Virgil said half-jokingly, 

“You make it work.”

The pale yellow-orange light from the table lamp shined as they only source in the room, highlighting Dexter’s face in a soft glow. He couldn’t help but gaze up at his warm caramel eyes in awe. Carefully he reached up and placed a hand against his cheek and rubbed the scar under his left eye tenderly. Dexter placed one hand over his, and with the other he brushed away the long bangs that had fallen in front of Virgil’s eyes, letting it rest on his cheek as well. There were barely two inches of space between them, yet Dexter didn’t make a move like he did last time. Virgil knew that he was letting him make the call this time if he wanted it or not.

Virgil decided that he did.

Slowly, and a little awkwardly, Virgil pulled them closer until no space was left, and pressed their lips together. It was soft and careful, not rushed or hard, they took their time and savored every moment. Dexter’s lips were slightly chapped, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, his own breath probably smells bad anyway. Dexter quickly took over the kiss and Virgil let him, leaning him until their chests were practically pressed against each other. After a few minutes, they parted to breathe, both gasping and out of breath, and Virgil laid against him with a happy sigh, resting his head under Dexter’s chin in the cuff of his neck.

They laid there together for the next hour, content to simply sit with each other, no words needed. All the while Virgil found himself in wonder that this was his life now. Six months he relinquished himself to live the rest of his life alone, he still couldn’t believe how far he had come. He was with the man who made him happy, about to become a father to two wonderful boys.

He couldn’t wait to tell them the news.

-

The very next day Virgil requested the day off from work to fill out the paperwork and applications with Dexter, which ended taking up a good couple of hours. While they were busy in the office, Patton offered to watch over the kids, since it was a Saturday and he had no school to teach. 

When they had told Patton the news that both of them were going to adopt the twins the friendly elementary school teacher had literally fainted. Virgil freaked out, thinking they had accidentally killed him, while Dexter simply helped the fallen man up and onto the couch in the front room. Patton woke up a minute later and instantly cheered them on, playing it off as if hadn’t just blacked out.

“I’m so happy for you! Both of you!” Patton beamed brightly, pulling Virgil into a tight hug, and Virgil returned the hug just the same, “I knew you could do it.” He whispered in his ear, squeezing his shoulder.

Two hours later, as they discussed living arrangements for the boys, since neither of them wanted to live in the shelter anymore but knew that Virgil’s condo wasn’t the most ideal place to raise them, Logan busted in through the door and charged into the office, currently on his lunch break. Apparently Patton hadn’t been able to keep the big surprise a secret for more than a few hours. Virgil wasn’t surprised though, those two couldn’t keep anything from each other. 

“So you finally took our advice.” He said.

“You better not say ‘I told you so’.” Virgil deadpanned at his oldest friend, knowing full well how blunt and forward his best friend could be.

“Fine then, I'm glad you finally heeded my words.”

“Seriously, Lo? Can’t you be-”

Out of nowhere, absolutely out of the blue, Virgil was pulled into a hug, which was completely out of character for Logan to do with anyone who was not immediate family or his boyfriend.

“I’m glad you’re happy again,” Logan told him, sounding honest and thankful.

Logan was Virgil’s oldest friend and had been with him in the thick of his break up with Matthew. He had watched him struggle ever since, tried to help, and was always there. This was a victory for him as much as it was for Virgil.

“Yeah, me too.” Virgil agreed, returning the hug.

Soon after, Logan had to return to work once his one hour lunch ended. Virgil and Dexter returned to the task at hand until they were finished. Since Dexter was one of the applicants, they had to send it to a third party so it would remain impartial and fair. This worried Virgil a little, but Dexter remain confident that it would go well.

“So they boys will be sharing a room, which used to be your office, so we’ll have to clean that out before they can move in. Arrangements with the new school will have to be made. And,”

“And I’ll schedule an appointment for Remus.”

“Are you sure? It can be expensive.” Dexter asked, looking up from his opened notes on his computer desktop.

“I have medical insurance, besides, I want him to get the help he needs.” Virgil affirmed.

He knew personally how important getting help can be, especially as a child. He wished his parents hadn’t waited until his last year of high school to get him therapy for his anxiety disorder, life would have been easier if they had. So Virgil wanted to be different.

“Alright, then that just leaves custody and visitation since we’ll be living in different houses,” Dexter announced, typing away at his keyboard, his hyper-focused face looked adorable as it always did.

“Obviously we’ll have it be open,” Virgil said matter-of-factly,

Dexter smiled and typed at his keyboard, “It would be nice to live together one day though.” He said nonchalantly as if it had been an afterthought. Virgil choked on his spit and immediately sat up straight from his previously relaxed position, blushing furiously. Dexter laughed and waved a forgiving hand him,  “Not now of course.”

“Right,” He breathed shakily, laughing it off unconvincingly. His heart raced in his chest still from the sudden scare, not appearing to want to calm down anytime soon.

Dexter went back to typing on his computer, listing off things they would have to take care of and things they would need to buy before the boys could move out of the agency house. Virgil watched him, albeit a bit bashfully, making small comments to his statements. They were so different from each other, and, to be honest, he wasn’t the type of man Virgil would usually pursue. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he didn’t think anything could come out of them in a romantic sense. Yet, he had been entranced and pulled in by him, almost as if he were put under a spell. Everything he did was enthralling, from the simple sight of him cooking in the kitchen, to the entertaining banter they would engage in. They had known each other for only half a year, but he could already imagine a world where he was in it every day.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” He murmured under his breath, a small smile falling on his lips.

It was a month until they had heard anything back from the social workers at the third-party agency. Usually, it would take a lot longer, but Dexter was able to pull a few strings to speed up the process because of some people he knew in the field. So when the notice came in that June, both of them opened it slowly with haste. 

It had gone through and they had been accepted. There was a three week waiting period, but neither of them could bother themselves enough to care at that moment. Once he found out, Virgil called both Patton and Logan and told them the good news and they all celebrated together. After that, the only step left was to tell the boys.

“Roman, Remus could you come here for a moment?” Dexter called from the back porch, as the kids were all currently caught up in a game of freeze tag.

“I swear, the toilet paper was Remus’s idea!” Roman shouted, pausing in his pursuit as a tagger, holding his hands above his head as if he had been caught redhanded in a crime.

“No not that- wait what toilet paper?”

“We’ll come back to that later. Can you two just come here for a second?” Virgil spoke up, waving the boys inside.

Roman followed the direction and walked toward the backdoor into the house, his head held down slightly in guilt. Remus chased after him and came bouncing into the living room. Once they were both in, Dexter closed the backdoor and sat them down, the young boys sat in between the adults.

“Now, Virgil and I have some news for you that we’re very excited about,” Dexter said.

“You’re pregnant!” Remus said excitedly.

“What? No! Remus that’s not biologically possible.” Virgil told him,

“But I’ve read stories online where it happened.”

“We’re going to talk about what you’ve been reading, but not now. What we wanted to say was,” Dexter cut in again, a lecturing look on his face, but got interrupted again.

“We’re getting a dog?!” Roman cheered out a guess, eyes bright with hope.

“Nope, I’m adopting you!” Virgil said, saying it quickly to avoid anymore stalling or excited shouts from the boys. Dexter coughed a little and waved at him, clearly not happy that he had been left out of that statement. “Well, we’re adopting you. Our application was accepted, so we’re officially your parents.”

The boys were both quiet for a long while, staring at them in shock and disbelief. They looked between them and at each other, seeming to share the same thoughts as each other. Slowly the broke away from their silence, as Roman began to tear up and cry, and Remus beamed a wide grin and cheered while bouncing up and down on the couch.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this…” Roman sobbed, rubbing away the tears as they fell and sniffling as his nose became clogged. Virgil pulled him into an embrace, rubbing a hand through his hair, while Roman clutched onto his shirt and cried and laughed.

“Does that mean I get to call you snake-dad and raccoon-dad now?” Remus asked, breaking from his jumping, landing in Dexter’s lap, to look up at them in joy and wonder.

“Of course bud,” Virgil told him, “Of course,”

.

.

Taglist: @omikkydraws @stormypaint @strickenwithclairvoyance @lolanomsgranola @hunter-shyreen @venus-fuck

[smileyjaeminies]

The flirt with the biggest heart

Synopsis: You weren’t feeling so well, but gladly Nana was always there to comfort you. You leave yourself exposed to him, simply laying your heart at his feet. With your upcoming competition, how will everything turn out?

Word Count: 4,6k

Genre: slow burn, angst, fluff

Warnings: none

Member: 00z, ft. Yangyang

A/N: I’m so sorry these have been taking forever to come out :( I hope you like this, make sure you keep an eye out for the finale!

~Series Masterlist~

  School would be your demise. After spring had finally showed the face you liked, the carefree and shining side you always longed for, your dance competitions stopped you from truly enjoying her gift.

  Your competitions lasted for three weeks in total, which meant daily practices for everyone. This year, your number was intense with flips and jumps, difficult formations and sharp moves. You loved it though, you thrived within the hard beat and the long hours.

  Elena was always there to pull you out from your slump, helping you with homework and assignments and basically carrying your weight for almost a month. But she would never say a word, and you loved her for it.

  The first two weeks of your competitions had already passed, with the previous Sunday being victorious for you and your team as you got second place. You celebrated grandly at a pizza place downtown when the worst thing that could happen did.

  You got your period.

  Okay, maybe you were exaggerating a little bit, but this was no time for your body to be making its own battle against you. You needed every cell you had under your control and that was vital.

  After a quick word with your dance instructor, you both decided that it would be for the best that you stayed inside on Monday, to rest and gather your strength for a good practice on Tuesday. And then… Well, you’d have to see.

  Which brought you right to this moment, early Monday afternoon, all alone in your house, watching whatever popped up in your recommended on Youtube. You mindlessly watched video after video, just lying down and trying not to think about the searing pain that tortured your abdomen.

  The stillness of your room helped the stillness of your mind which for once decided to stop its racing; the numbness was welcome, an old friend you greeted at the door and bid to come in. You wrapped yourself in her arms, allowing her to lead you back and rest.

  Uncalled for, the ringtone of your phone disturbed the delicate balance. You debated answering for a few seconds but as you saw Jaemin’s name you knew that he wouldn’t stop calling until you picked up. You took him out of his misery, answering with a simple, “Hi Nana”

  “Y/N!!” he shouted.

  “I need to teach you kids to talk more quietly” you mumbled under your breath.

  “Y/N!!!” Jaemin repeated. “Today is Monday!!!”

  “I’m aware of that Jaemin” you replied.

  “You missed the club meeting” He said and you could distinguish the pout in his voice.

  “I know, I am supposed to stay at home and rest today.” You explained.

  “Are you sick? I heard you won yesterday, congratulations!” he said.

  “No, I’m just tired. And, yes we got second place, exciting stuff!” you answered.

  “Well, if you’re not sick, then I’m coming over! Movies and coffee afternoon, just the two of us!”

  “No coffee allowed, Jaemin” you informed him.

  “Why not?” he said, sounding hurt.

  “Jaemin, I’m having one of those days” you tried to explain.

  “Why? Are you feeling sad? Did Donghyuck say something to you?” He asked question after question as you chuckled.

  “Jaemin, listen to me, I’m having those days of the month…” you cut him off, explaining again.

  You heard him take a deep breath as realization hit him. He stayed quiet for a few seconds, and then:

  “Wait! No magic bean juice, like at all? No wonder girls are so grumpy when they’re on their periods!”

  “Nana!” you reprimanded him slightly.

  “Okay, okay. No magic bean juice… Snacks then?” he asked.

  You wanted to say no. You knew your dad would be furious when he came home and found a boy in his house. But it had been weeks since you had hang out with Jaemin and you missed him a lot. Just one movie wouldn’t hurt.

  “Alright. But bring me a lot of chocolate.” You requested.

  “Yes ma’am!” Jaemin answered, hanging up the phone.

  You managed to peel yourself off your bed and went to the bathroom to freshen up a little. You were looking pretty rough if you were being honest, but oh well, this was just Jaemin. You went back into your room and tidied it up, folding all your clothes and making your bed. The bell rang, announcing Jaemin’s arrival and you rushed to greet him.

  “Is this enough?” Jaemin asked, holding up a huge grocery bag.

  “It will do I guess” you answered him, grinning.

  After one tight hug and another round of congratulations on second place, you both made your way inside, getting comfortable under the covers. You tried (and failed) to convince Jaemin to watch a new movie that you were sure would get an Oscar nomination. But he wouldn’t budge.

  “Disney movies are like a painkiller! It will help with your cramps!” he insisted.

  “Oh please, we’ll shut it off before 30 minutes are up. Besides, I don’t even like Disney that much.” You countered.

  “Ha! Sure you don’t. Who are you kidding Y/N? You’ve picked up on every single reference I’ve made!” he scoffed.

  You blushed and chuckled at his words. Disney and Pixar movies were indeed some of your favourites. You could recite whole movies by heart, you knew every lyric and song. But you wouldn’t admit it to Jaemin.

  “Fine, fine! You win! Play the movie.” You told him.

  Jaemin bent down to press a kiss to your cheek, before grabbing your computer and finding the movie he wanted. You watched him, eyes filled with concentration as he went on about how he hadn’t watched the movie in ages.

  Soon enough, you found yourself wrapped up on Jaemin’s side, your favourite chocolate in your hands and the Disney movie filling the silence in the room. However, that didn’t last long.

  The movie Jaemin suggested turned out to be a total bore, so you shut it off only 20 minutes in. You had made a brand new playlist, its soft music now drifting through your laptop's speakers and dancing through the room. You had laid back onto Jaemin, and he was now playing with your hair. The gesture should've been intimate, but it was more comfortable than anything.

  Your thoughts drifted of course, to the boy next to you. Nana was playful flirting and rosy cheeks. Jaemin was constantly pushing the boundaries and a fluttering heart. Jaemin was the buzz of morning coffee, the heat seeping from it onto your palm warming up your hand and your heart.

  Jaemin was everything but routine. He was the unpredictable, racing through the night and screaming the lyrics to your favourite songs. He was sneaking into his parent’s liquor cabinet for alcohol, letting your insides burn with its fumes.

  Jaemin was the easiest person to love. He poured and poured his love onto anything his life touched and never held back. Jaemin was thinking about the consequences after the action.

  That's why, when your tears started to fall, you did nothing to conceal them. You didn't have to. Not with Nana.

  “You want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice low.

  And so you did. You poured and poured your heart out to him. You left nothing out, from your breakup, to Renjun, then Jeno and Yangyang. You went over that dreadful afternoon with Kyle, how Donghyuck found you later. You talked to him about how scared you still were, how anxious and heartbroken and confused.

  He sat next to you and then continued to sit on your bed as you got up and started pacing around the room. He never said a word, he allowed you to talk for as long as you needed, to give him all the facts and details before he said anything.

  It took a while for you to sit back down at the foot of your bed, only to drop your face in your hands.

  “I’m such a mess” you admitted.

  “You want to know what I think? These are my friends after all” Jaemin offered. You only nodded slightly at his words turning to look at him.

  “I think if someone had caught feelings, you’d have known by now. The kisses were spontaneous and that’s why no one mentioned them after. And because you asked. You know us Y/N, all of us. Do you think we’d ever go against your wishes? Especially on something like this? No. None of us would, not even Hyuck.”

  “About the Kyle… situation. I wish you’d let me beat up his face. I may have tiny fists, but I’m sure if I took him by surprise… Whatever. You should’ve reported it. I understand why you didn’t, I do. But that was dumb baby, I’m sorry. The good thing is, he has drawn himself back into the fiery pit he likes to call home.” Jaemin finished.

  “His house is actually very pretty” you joked.

  Jaemin’s face lit up at your silly joke.

  “She jokes! Ladies and gentlemen, after an hour of crying, she jokes!” he teased you.

  He moved over on the bed, making his way next to you. He wrapped you in his arms in a weird embrace filled with arms and limbs and bodies. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

  “Nana?” you asked after a few minutes dragged on.

  “Yes?” he responded.

  “Can you come to my last competition on Friday? For moral support?” you asked.

  “I’ll be at the first row.” Jaemin agreed, running his hands through your hair.

  Your peaceful moment was interrupted by keys at your front door and your mother’s excited voice.

  “Shit. Mom’s home.” You mumbled under your breath.

  “Is that bad?” Jaemin asked.

  “Not that bad, unless Dad’s with her” you answered and paused to listen carefully for your father’s voice.

  Luck was on your side however as your Dad hadn’t returned just yet. Your mother called your name, announcing she’s back and you pulled Jaemin to his feet as quickly as possible.

  “Best behavior. Do not try to charm my mom or I will kill you. You say hello you DECLINE dinner and you’re out the door. Deal??” you turned to him.

  “Damn baby, are you embarrassed of me?” he asked, slightly hurt.

  “Not you…” you whisper under your breath, already pushing him out of the door.

  “Hi Mommy! Did you have a good day at work?” you greet your Mom in the kitchen, putting back some groceries.

  “It was okay. You know, work is work.” She answered as she hugged you.

  “Mommy, this is Jaemin. He came to keep me some company.” You introduced your friend.

  “Jaemin, it’s really nice to meet you! Y/N talks about you all the time!” your Mom said and you couldn’t help but glare at her.

  Jaemin however only shot you a funny look and proceeded to greet your mother kindly. He declined dinner like you asked him, but he couldn’t help charming his way into your mother’s heart. After he left, your mother wouldn’t stop talking about him, asking about him and going on about what a kind young man he was already.

  You didn’t really mind, on the contrary, you were glad your Mom had liked Nana. But the untold promise was that you wouldn’t talk about any of this in front of your Dad. Your father was… Old fashioned let’s say, so this was a strictly only girls topic.

  After helping your mom with the groceries, you excused yourself back to your room. Once you got there, you opened your phone, your hand hovering over the familiar username, before you took the next step and dialed his number.

  He picked up on the third ring.

  “Hello?” he asked.

  “Hi” you answered.

  “What’s up, Y/N? I missed you today… In fact, it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.” He scolded you.

  “I know, I know… That’s why I called… I have a favour to ask you.” You said.

  “Oh? Let’s hear it then!” he responded.

  “I need a good luck charm…” you trailed off.

  “The tables have turned then?” Jeno teased you.

  “They have… You think you could help a friend in a tight place?” you asked.

  “I’ll be in the front row” Jeno said, not hesitating.

  How ironic, you thought, that both of them had said the exact same thing. Or maybe it wasn’t ironic at all…  

  “You want me to bring everyone?” Jeno asked.

  “I already asked Jaemin and Yangyang is going to be there since we’re competing against each other. I doubt Donghyuck will be willing to come, so that just leaves Renjun. You should ask him though, maybe he’ll need a ride or something.” You finished.

  “I think you don’t give Donghyuck enough credit. I’m sure he’ll want to support you and Yangyang. Anyway, I’m going to ask.” Jeno said.

  “I think you forget that Donghyuck hates my guts but oh well! Ask away! Maybe he’ll come for Yangyang.” You replied.

  Jeno mumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like “Typical”. He brushed it off right after however, hanging up the phone.

  After talking to both Jaemin and Jeno, you felt significantly better. A weight had been lifted off your shoulders, first by Jaemin’s wise words and comforting hugs. Second, the weight was shared with the knowledge that Jeno would be there at your last competition, knowing exactly what you were feeling and helping you through it.

---------------------------------------------------------

  The day of the competition arrived sooner than you thought. Elena drove with you in your Dad’s car, holding your hand throughout the ride and sharing her earphones with you. Calm, comforting music rushed through them into your ears, but your mind was replaying the beat you would be dancing to in a few hours, going over every move.

  Once you stepped foot at the venue, you were met with the familiar rumble of the competition. You signed some forms and you headed straight backstage to meet your instructor and the rest of your team. You were carried away for a warm up as you had to rehearse on stage soon enough.

  Rehearsals were a blur, your mind failing to concentrate at more than one thing at a time. Your instructor scolded you slightly but stayed reassured that you’d keep your head in the game for the actual erformance.

  Backstage, Elena scooped you up in her arms, reassuring you that you did great and that you hadn’t shown anything yet. You calmed down after a bit, still sharing Elena’s earphones and keeping your hands together in a tight hold.

  Before long, Elena led you to a make-up stand and got to work. As an artist, Elena had her way with make-up, producing looks that you couldn’t even dream of. She even helped you tie your hair back in a tight ponytail to match everyone. When she finished, she didn’t allow you to look at the result, but helped you get into costume first.

  Once your whole outfit was complete, you walked in front of a full length mirror. The result was outstanding. Your outfit fitted you well, the black and red contradicting each other. Your eye look matched the outfit, red eye-shadow dancing over your eyelids with a fierce cat eye completing the look.

  You hugged Elena and thanked her a thousand times for her help. You had begun to really calm down, a tranquility taking over you. You decided to look for Yangyang and soon enough you found his group’s dressing room and made a beeline to his arms.

  “Are you sure you’re Y/N? You look amazing!” Yangyang complemented you, twirling you around.

  “Elena does work wonders, what can I say!” you said.

  “Well Elena clearly needs to do my make-up as well! You think I could steal her for a while?” he asked, turning to Elena.

  “You want your make-up done? Really?” Elena asked.

  “I don’t have the words toxic masculinity on my vocabulary, ma’am. I’d be honored.” Yangyang replied, and you had never felt more proud.

  Elena fumbled for words for a few seconds before ushering Yangyang to a seat. You talked with both of them and Cat, Yangyang’s official girlfriend now, for a while before Elena turned to you.

  “You know, it’s getting late, if you want to see the boys, you better get out now” she said.

  “You’re probably right. Yangyang, don’t you dare move before I check the final result. I’ll be back in a second.” You announced, taking your leave.

  You walked out of the dressing room and headed to the stage. Taking out your phone, you saw a message from Renjun.

    Junnie

Hey Y/N! Traffic is being a bitch so we’ll be there in like, 10 minutes. Wait for us!! We want to give you good luck hugs!

  You

I’ll be waiting! Tell Jeno to be careful, you have time!

    After replying to Renjun’s message, you decided to step out anyway, to get some air and talk with some of your friends. You were introduced to some people from opposing teams and you were currently discussing the judges when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

  You were surprised to find Donghyuck smiling at you once you turned around. Quickly composing yourself, you tried to hide your nervousness as you greeted him. You almost screamed when he bent down to give you a hug and wish you good luck.

  “So, what do you think about today? An easy win?” Donghyuck asked.

  You were still perplexed by his hug and his overall nice demeanor before you answered.

  “Winning is never easy. All the teams put in a lot of work, or else they wouldn’t be here.”

  “Here, here tiger, no need to get defensive. Besides, I’m supporting two teams today, aren’t I?” he asked.

  “You don’t mean to make me believe that you’re here to support me, are you?” you asked him in return.

  Donghyuck’s face flashed with emotion.

  “Why not? Aren’t you my friend?” he asked and you could hear the hurt in his voice.

  “I don’t know Donghyuck… Are we? I mean, you always have some snarky remark to make about me day in, day out. You don’t even allow me to call you by your nickname while everyone and their mothers do… I’m not sure that’s friendship.” You replied.

  His face flashed with emotion once again. He took a few seconds to gather his thoughts before saying:

  “You know Y/N, that’s…” but you wouldn’t find out what it was.

  A huge burden was pushed on top of you as two strong hands lifted you up and twirled you around. Laughter erupted from you as you heard Jaemin praising you. All of the boys gave you their ‘good luck hugs’ and you spiraled into conversation with them.

  Donghyuck wasn’t excluded from this, but your moment was clearly over. Renjun was talking about your make-up and Elena’s skills and the others were asking you how long it would take you to perform. They almost made you dizzy, all talking at the same time but you didn’t mind; not at the moment.

  You kept stealing glances at Donghyuck and you would always find him staring right back at you. It made you nervous and it made you blush, but you couldn’t even pretend that it was a bad thing.

  Not long after, your teammates had to separate you from your friends. You hugged them again and you even got a kiss in the cheek from each of them for good luck. You promised to convey the same message to Yangyang and you were off.

  Backstage, it seemed like everyone was moving to every direction. People were talking loudly, making last minute checks and changes. You headed straight to Yangyang’s dressing room, to grab Elena and reunite with your team.

  “So, what do you think?” Yangyang asked, facing you.

  You were shocked. He was all angles, high contour on his cheeks and bright orange eye shadow around his eyes.

  “Yangyang you look…” you trailed off.

  “Show stopping? Spectacular? Like the man of your dreams?” he offered.

  “Beautiful” you said.

  “I know right? It’s hardly fair, my own boyfriend is more beautiful than me” Cat teased, smiling at Yangyang.

  “I could never” Yangyang answered.

  “Yeah, yeah, you’re in love okay OKAY. Don’t you need to go?” Elena said, turning to you.

  You nodded and hugged both Yangyang and Cat, exchanging good lucks. You finally stepped back in your team’s dressing room. Your instructor reprimanded you for being late, but you hardly listened. The blood in your veins had already begun to boil, the familiar buzz of the upcoming performance taking over you already.

  There were only about 10 teams competing, your team taking the number 8 spot. Not too early, not too late. You were restless, pacing up and down the small room and annoying your teammates. Elena managed to pull you down on your chair as yet another group took the stage.

  Your eyes were glued to the screen. They were good, too good. They moved as one, never missing a beat. The strong choreography worked amazing, their formations tight and moving around all the time. As they finished, you all took looks amongst yourselves. These people were the real stars of the night and the crowd went crazy over them.

  Next was Yangyang’s group. You found Yangyang and refused to take your eyes off of him. He did well, really well. He was nervous though and you could tell by the way he would keep looking at his teammates to make sure his position was correct. You could feel he was extra nervous in the couples’ part. But his hard work paid off. He didn’t make any mistakes you could see and overall their performance was very well structured and interesting.

  Before you even had time to process the performances, it was already time for you to standby. Elena pestered you with hugs and whispered soothing things in your ear, but you were buzzing. It was hard for you to stay still once again, and you felt your hands shaking uncontrollably. Your teammates moved around you and it was already time for you to step on the stage.

  The bright lights blinded you, but your mind was finally still. The music flowed through you, your body moving on its own accord. You were focused and not at the same time, moving right on the beat but without fully understanding what you were doing. And just like that, it was over.

  The cheers were deafening and with a simple glimpse at the crowd, you failed to see your friends. Your teammates pulled you backstage and a river of hugs and praise came over you. Elena jumped in your arms and praised how focused you were. If only she knew…

  Slowly but surely, the high of the stage left your system. You remained in your seat as the two teams left performed. Then, it was time for a short break for the judges to decide on the three best teams.

  Nervousness seeped through you once again. Elena had a tight grip on your hand and you felt dizzy, getting hotter and hotter, your back sweating. Before long it was time to go back on stage for the results to be announced.

  “I’m scared” you whispered.

  “It’s okay. You’re going to be fine” Elena tried to console you.

  Your friend Alex dragged you back on stage. You were standing amongst the rest of the teams and you were on the edge of your toes.  You tried to look for the boys to no avail; they were either too far away, or you needed contacts.

  The judges took the stage and seconds seemed to drag into hours. Third place was announced. It was Yangyang’s team. You let out a small scream and you couldn’t hold back the huge smile that took over your face. He did it. The idiot did it. As they raised their trophy, your eyes filled with tears. It felt like your own win.

  It was time to announce first place. You took a deep breath. It wouldn’t be you. You had settled within your heart that this wasn’t a winning day and it was okay.

  The envelope was opened and the name was called. Your group’s name. Your groups name. You’d won. You were pushed in a sweaty and smelly group hug, as tears left your eyes. You were full on sobbing as you saw the trophy being pushed from hand to hand until you were holding it.

  First place. It felt like a dream. Your mind was hazy as the team that ranked second, the “stars” like you had named them, gave their speech. And it was over.

  The crowd flowed on stage, loved ones finding loved ones and hugs being exchanged everyone. You stood frozen in the back of the stage. First place.

  Your name was called from somewhere. Your mind registered it, but your body failed to move at the sound.

  “Y/N!” You heard again, and finally your head moved towards the sound.

  Jaemin ran over you, arms extended. He lifted you up screaming in your ear.

  “FIRST PLACE! Y/N OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, YOU DID IT”

  His loud voice quieted down to a whisper as you sobbed silently into his shirt. Low words of praise filled your ears as several pairs of arms rubbed your back, trying to calm you down. You grabbed fistfuls of Jaemin’s shirt in an attempt to ground yourself, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

  After a while, you were finally able to move away from him and into the rest of the boys’ arms.

  “Oh, your little cry baby” Renjun said, hugging you tightly.

  “Good luck charm worked” Jeno said, giving you his signature eye smile and keeping you close.

  “You were amazing up there” Donghyuck said and hugged you tightly. You felt dizzy again. Your mind finally decided to start working, only to note that he smelled like the sea.

  “Y/N! There you are!” Yangyang shouted, running up to you, Cat and Elena not far behind him.

  You jumped onto him without second thought, screaming.

  “YANGYANG! YOU DID THAT! I, I’M, OH MY GOD, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU” you screamed, squeezing him tight.

  “ME? FORGET ABOUT ME YOU IDIOT, YOU GOT FIRST PLACE! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!! Y/N YOU GOT F I R S T” Yangyang screamed back.

  You went over each of your steps, each praising the other.

  “Although I love the spirit” Renjun interrupted, “Wouldn’t you want to celebrate somewhere more private?”

  “Re- group for burgers downtown?” Jeno offered.

  Everyone quickly agreed and you went backstage to change. Your dad picked you and Elena up, driving you back home for a quick shower and change of clothes. You headed downtown and met the boys in front of your favourite burger place.

  The night was easy going, a celebration with the people that mattered the most to you. Squeezed in the booth between Donghyuck and Yangyang, you laughed and enjoyed your food. All your senses were heightened to Donghyuck moving and laughing next to you. You tried to take your mind away from him, but your gaze would always go to your right, where Donghyuck was usually looking right back at you.

  That night, you hardly got any sleep despite being tucked inside your warm covers. Your mind was replaying the events of the day in an endless loop, the high of being on stage, the thrill of coming first, being in Donghyuck’s arms, the way the area around his eyes creased when he laughed.

  You were going crazy. There was no other word for it. You were going crazy over a boy that only recently stopped hating your existence. Great. You were screwed.

[green-eyes-and-classic-rock]

Positive 20 Questions Tag Game

“i made a tag game again.  i’m bored, procrastinating, and certain we all need some more positivity right now. hell yeah.” @scamp-00, I couldn’t agree more. I am also procrastinating but when am I not! Thank you for the tag!!!!! <3

1.) Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

-sam winchester from supernatural....okay I know. I’m a Dean girl and OF COURSE i love Sam but have always wanted to be like Dean. But, I’ve actually thought about this a lot. I’m a lot like Sam (really only sam in the earlier seasons). I’m kinda the black-sheep of my family, definitely the one that starts the most trouble, definitely the one that wants to follow my own path. I can be a bit pompous sometimes- or more like falsely confident. But that’s mostly mood swings due to depression. I go through stages where I feel like I can conquer the world then turn around and feel like shit. I relate to Sam in that something inside me is broken and it ends up affecting me in a lot of real life situations. Wow this got fucking dark. I’m also silly and can be really brave! Granted, I think i’m less selfish than Sam could be. I’ll repeat though, I love him to death. 

-rapunzel from tangled: okay this one is light hearted I swear! Rapunzel has so many hobbies, loves so many things, and she’s artistic. She’s my favorite disney princess and my mom has said that i’m a lot like her. She’s also really loyal and loving and sees so much beauty in the world. 

-rue from euphoria. Yikes...comparing myself to a drug addict ain’t the best, I know how this looks. BUT. I just finished watching the show and DAMN I relate to her so much. She has a lot of mental issues and although I’ve NEVER had any drug problem, i’ve definitely had similar thoughts as her. She’s also really loving and shy. She’s precious and really sweet. And I just relate to her and think i’m a lot like her especially with my struggles. WHOOPS this got deep lmao. 

-aang from avatar. THIS ONE IS ALSO LIGHTHEARTED lol. I love aang. He’s so strong-willed when he needs to be. I like to think i’m like that. I may struggle to come into myself and take on responsibilities, and I have a lot of doubts, but in the end I get it done and I amaze myself sometimes. I also have an incredible friend group that I fucking love. 

2.) Aesthetic?

-  dark green, forests, fog, kinda like 80s or 70s grunge??? Idk what i’m even saying. Autumn, ghosts, skeletons, WITCHES. Light pink, antique stores, old books. Bleh. 

3.) Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?

- HAMILTON. I had the amazing privilege to see it in Philly with my mom!!! I love the music from it so much and now it’s like this incredible bonding thing with my mom. I already love my mom so much but it just solidifies how much fun we have together. 

4.) What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

- I’m not sure exactly but my one friend always seems to say the kindest things. She once told me that she loves the way I admire the world. She complimented my brain and my perception of the world, which is the best. 

5.) How many times have you been in love?

- I think once.

6.) Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

- I was so spacey as a kid and i’d get so stuck in my daydreams that once I walked right into a pole. I can think of funnier things but it’s all a blur I mean I make myself laugh everyday with my ridiculousness. 

7.) Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

- As I mentioned, Tangled!!! 

8.) Favorite flower or plant?

- I love ivy. I once had a huge ivy plant in my room and it was like ten feet long. 

9.) What’s your favorite holiday?

- Halloween! I love spooky stuff and I love scary movies so much. It was always my favorite holiday. 

10.) Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

- Probably something my best friend said, my cat always makes me happy, and I finished the rough draft of my senior thesis

11.) What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

- Oof one song? Probably The Suburbs by Arcade fire. Corny, yes, but it is my favorite song and the album it’s on got me through so much. 

12.) Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

- Walking in my favorite park, breathing the fresh air and listening to music. It’s my favorite place on earth. 

13.) What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

- I am currently ALMOST about to finish my undergrad as an international studies major with a specialization in global health, development and environment and minors in sociology, environmental studies and spanish. Woof. Yeah it’s a lot. If I could go back and do it differently, I would have maybe done biology (and flunked), environmental science (and suffered) (i’m bad at math cause i’m gay) or something with music. My dream job is the person who picks the music for movies or tv shows.

14.) This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

- my favorite (like i’m telling you if a sweatshirt could be a soulmate) pink floyd sweatshirt. It’s gray with a rainbow design and cropped and it’s so fucking cozy, I feel so safe when I wear it. Then I guess leggings and white converse. 

15.) What is a quote you live by?

- be the weed growing through the cracks in the cement, beautiful, because it doesn’t know it’s not supposed to grow there. - Shane Koyczan

16.) Name the funniest playlist name you have.

- okay I have a folder of playlists called “I Think It’s Time to Fight God” and it’s study music. I have three playlists of study music: “Pretentious,” which is classical piano music, “Calmy Study,” which is like movie scores and stuff, and “For Fuck’s Sake, Study,” which is like electric rave music and shit. It’s shitty rave music but it keeps me awake lmao. (Listen to Twenty by Vicetone if you wanna do homework at 3 am)

17.) Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

- squid dad 

18.) What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

- Don’t do that. Read a book. 

19.) Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

- My mom. She’s goofy and amazing and although we are NOTHING ALIKE and she doesn’t really understand me (wow such angst) we love each other and she’s my best friend 

20.) What’s a secret dream of yours?

- I lowkey wanna be an actress (or wanted to be) but I know i’d be shit at it. Maybe a singer. I would love to make music but I have ZERO talent lmao. 

tagging: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS. PLEASE FEEL FREE. I know my friend tiredstuff was already tagged by scamp-00 so I don’t wanna tag her again lol. DO THIS TAG GAME IF YOU LOVE PASTA. 

if i didn’t tag you and you play, please tag me! i’d love to read through yours!

if i did tag you and you’re intimidated by the size of this and have decided, “fuck that noise” i respect you and i get it no hard feelings (: